#I am going to introduce him to the tiniest sliver of hell imaginable

[deadpoetsocieteaparty]

Look, Thatch, I love you but if you jump scare me I will drop kick you so hard your own sperm will retaliate against you. You won't be able to get yo girl pregnant no matter how hard you try.

You'll go to the doctor and it'll be evident that it is very much you that's holding the bun in the oven up but nothing is actually wrong? Doctor is so confused.

Secretly your body is just rebelling. "Boys, he's trying baby making again! Send in the dead weight!"

Your own body will never forgive you for scaring me like that. I will put the fear of womankind into you.

~Thatch~

•Good natured prankster

•Quite funny but also kind of a dork

•Has a motherly mode, he's very caring and tends to worry. Safety is his thing.

•Takes as much care of his hair as he does his kitchen knives. They are both very important to him.

•Loves food. He's an adventurous eater, there are very very few things he doesn't like. One of those things is oatmeal - it's the texture.

•Has horrible handwriting

•Gardens. Likes to grow as much of his own food as he can.

Romantically-

•Super affectionate.

•Doesn't have a problem letting you take over in bed.

•Has no problem being clingy and saying he loves you in front of everyone.

•Falls in love fast and hard

•You aren't exempt from pranks - he'll hide around corners and hop out to scare you.

•He's very thoughtful, your date nights are always amazing.

•He'll teach you to cook or have you teach him your hobbies so he can spend more time with you.

•Don't worry, if you need space just say the word and he'll let you have as much time as you need.

•Would be a great dad, he'll teach the kids to help him cook so they won't be picky eaters. He takes an open communication approach so they'll feel comfortable asking or telling him things when life gets tough.