#I am down astronomically as per usual

[birdhaslostit]

(tune of Sound of da Police) WOOP WOOP THATS DA SOUND OF THE

[text to speech generator] white boy of the month.

WOOP WOOP THATS THE SOUND OF DA BEAST

[seoulzie]

범규; whispers of the unsleeping

───── orphic ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 (adj.) mysterious & entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding

synopsis: in the small city of yeosu, insomniac choi beomgyu seeks refuge in his school's abandoned astronomical observatory to catch some sleep. there, he encounters y/n l/n, a sociable and carefree girl who shares his struggle with insomnia. together, they form an unlikely friendship and revive their school's defunct astronomy club, spending their nights exploring the stars.

彡 pairing: beomgyu x f!reader 彡 genre: fluff, angst, strangers to lovers au, university au 彡 warnings: mentions of mental health & insomnia, parental abandonment (?) chronic illness, strong language, grief & loss

RELEASE DATE; 07/26/24 — this week, friday

index: prologue i. sleepless encounters capella ii. a place of our own vega iii. rekindling the stars proxima iv. phases of the moon, phases of us rigel v. cosmic challenge polaris vi. beyond the horizon altair vii. heart to heart betelgeuse viii. tomorrow's sunrise arcturus the end: epilogue

TAGLIST: OPEN! leave an ask in my inbox, reply to this post, or send me a dm!

CHOI BEOMGYU ( 21 ) ( M )

a student who struggles with trouble falling asleep most nights. consequently, he is irritable at school, always searching for an opportunity to find a secluded place to doze off. despite his gruff exterior, he is well-known around campus for his charming looks.

Y/N L/N ( 20 ) ( F )

a cheerful and enthusiastic student, the astronomy club president, whose secret battle with insomnia leads her to the solace of the astronomical conservatory at night. determined to keep her condition hidden, she finds refuge among the stars until she encounters another night owl, beomgyu.

PROLOGUE: CHAPTER 0 word count: 3.1k

another sleepless night. beomgyu stared up at the ceiling of his room, counting the cracks for the hundredth time. it was a game he played with himself when he couldn’t sleep, a futile attempt to trick his brain into shutting down. spoiler alert: it never worked.  he groaned, the sound echoing hollowly in the silent room, and threw an arm over his eyes, trying to block out the faint glow of dawn creeping through the dusty blinds. the alarm clock on his nightstand blinked 6:00 am in angry red numbers, a mocking reminder of the day looming ahead.

with a sigh that condensed the exhaustion clinging to him like a shroud, beomgyu rolled out of bed. every muscle screamed in protest, a dull ache thrumming through his limbs. he shuffled to the bathroom, his movements heavy with sleep deprivation. his reflection in the mirror looked as shitty as he felt—dark circles under his eyes, hair sticking up in every direction, and a permanent scowl etched on his face. he splashed some cold water on his face, hoping it would wake him up enough to function through another hellish day at school.

he reached for his usual blue and white striped tube of toothpaste, but his fingers met only the cold, hard plastic of the sink. panic clawed at his throat. empty. of course, it was empty. why wouldn't it be? just his luck.

frantic, he rummaged through the cabinet under the sink, desperately searching for a spare tube. nothing. nada. just a half-empty bottle of mouthwash that reeked of peppermint and disappointment. he slammed the cabinet shut, the sound echoing through the small bathroom like a gunshot. “fucking hell.”

defeated, beomgyu straightened up, bracing himself for another blow. he hobbled over to his laundry basket, a tangled mess of unmentionables. he started digging, desperately searching for a matching pair of socks. hope flickered when his fingers brushed against soft cotton, then died a slow, agonizing death as he pulled out a lone, navy blue sock. where was its partner? had it been swallowed by a rogue dryer gremlin? eaten by a sock-hungry monster lurking in the washing machine?

beomgyu stared at the single sock in his hand, a monument to his perpetually bad luck. he was starting to think the universe had a personal vendetta against him. this wasn't just another day; it was a full-blown disaster waiting to happen, and he was just the hapless protagonist caught in the middle.

after throwing on his uniform and grabbing his backpack, he headed downstairs. his dad had already left for work, as usual. the house was eerily silent, a stark contrast to the chaotic mornings of his childhood before—stop it, he thought to himself. beomgyu shook off the unwelcome memories and grabbed a piece of toast on his way out.

he dragged himself to the front door, his feet protesting with each step. a splash of color outside his window caught his eye. mrs. han, his elderly neighbor, was kneeling by her rose bushes, her weathered hands wielding a watering can with surprising vigor. despite his fatigue, a small smile tugged at the corner of beomgyu's lips. mrs. han was a fixture in the neighborhood, a tiny woman with a heart as big as her prized hydrangeas.

"good morning, mrs. han," he managed, his voice rough from disuse.

she looked up, her eyes crinkling at the corners with a smile. "good morning, beomgyu. off to school already? you look a bit pale," she said with a motherly concern that always made him feel a flicker of warmth.

"just a little tired, mrs. han," he replied, offering a weak smile. "those history essays won't write themselves, you know."

mrs. han chuckled. "always busy, that's you. but remember, dear, rest is important too. don't you burn yourself out."

"i'll try my best," he promised, though the words tasted like ashes in his mouth. he knew the truth – sleep was a luxury he couldn't afford.

beomgyu continued his walk, the rising sun painting the sky with streaks of orange and pink. the usual sights and sounds of the morning held a peculiar distance, muffled by the fog in his brain. the bakery across the street, usually a source of enticing aromas, only offered a dull ache in his stomach – a reminder of the breakfast he hadn't bothered with.

as he neared the school gates, the sounds of chatter started to seep in, a rising crescendo of greetings and nervous laughter. he braced himself for the usual barrage of hellos and high-fives, his trademark charm already feeling strained. beomgyu wasn't just tired, he was running on fumes, his charisma a flickering candle in a hurricane of exhaustion.

just as he predicted, a cheerful voice chimed in from beside him. "beomgyu! looking handsome as ever this morning, even at this ungodly hour."

he turned to see yeri, a girl from his class with a smile as bright as her sunflower hair clip. she was notorious for her bubbly personality and her unashamed crush on him. usually, beomgyu would respond with a playful jab or a witty remark, adding to the innocent flirtation. but today, a single word was all he could muster.

"hey," he croaked out, a smile barely flickering across his lips.

yeri's smile faltered slightly. "everything okay? you seem...out of it."

he shrugged, the movement feeling like wading through mud. "just a late night studying." it wasn't a complete lie, but the truth felt too heavy to share.

"well," yeri continued, her voice losing a bit of its usual chirp, "don't let it get you down. math class first thing, right? let's just hope ms. choi isn't in one of her moods."

there was a time when such a comment would have sparked a playful banter, a shared groan about their least favorite teacher. today, beomgyu merely nodded, a hollow feeling settling in his chest.

despite his exhaustion, beomgyu couldn't help but notice the way heads turned in his direction, the whispered greetings, the stolen glances. he was undeniably popular, the school's resident charmer. but the weight of that popularity felt like a suffocating cloak.

a group of guys from the basketball team hollered a greeting, their voices echoing off the lockers. beomgyu offered a weak wave, the movement seeming to drain the last vestiges of his energy. a couple of girls from the dance club giggled as they passed, their eyes lingering on him for a beat too long. all he could do was muster a tired smile, the effort feeling monumental.

he reached his locker, the familiar combination numbers a blur in his sleep-deprived haze. as he shoved his books inside, a hand landed on his shoulder. it was kai, his best friend, his partner in crime (or at least, they were when beomgyu had the energy for crime fighting). kai, unlike beomgyu, was a beacon of energy, his perpetually ruffled brown hair and mischievous grin a constant source of amusement.

"dude, you look like a deflated balloon," kai commented, his voice laced with concern. "another night?"

beomgyu slammed his locker shut with a sigh that spoke volumes. "yeah," he mumbled, leaning against the cold metal for support.

kai's brow furrowed. "seriously, beomgyu. you've been like this for weeks. we talked about this already! you said you’d try anything besides looking like you haven't slept since kindergarten."

beomgyu ran a hand through his hair, a grimace creasing his face for a moment before smoothing out into a tired indifference. "yeah, yeah," he mumbled, more to himself than to kai. "it's whatever at this point."

kai's concern flickered, then died down as he picked up on the subtle shift in beomgyu's demeanor. he knew that tone – the one that said beomgyu was resigned, shutting himself off. pushing wouldn't help.

"alright," kai said, switching gears with the practiced ease, “come on, zombie boy. let's get to class before ms. choi starts discussing the square root of boredom."

the morning dragged on, each class blending into the next in a haze of exhaustion and boredom. beomgyu could barely keep his eyes open, let alone focus on the lectures. 

his first class was math, and he trudged to his seat, slumping down with a heavy sigh. he rummaged through his bag, only to realize he had forgotten his pen.

“hey, taehyun,” he whispered to the boy sitting next to him. “got a pen i can borrow?”

taehyun glanced at him and chuckled softly. “forgot yours again? here.” he handed beomgyu a pen, shaking his head in amusement.

“thanks, man,” beomgyu muttered, trying to muster a grateful smile. he opened his notebook and attempted to take notes, but his eyelids felt like lead weights. the teacher’s voice droned on, a monotonous hum that only made him feel sleepier.

his head began to nod, his vision blurring as he struggled to stay awake. just as he was about to give in to the sweet embrace of sleep, he heard his name being called.

“mr. choi,” the teacher’s voice was sharp and reprimanding. beomgyu jolted awake, blinking rapidly.

“y-yes?” he stammered, sitting up straight.

“care to repeat what i just said?” the teacher asked, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

beomgyu’s mind went blank. he hadn’t heard a single word. “uh… something about calculus?” he guessed, hoping he was at least close.

the class snickered, and the teacher sighed in exasperation. “detention, mr. choi. maybe next time you’ll pay attention instead of dozing off in my class.”

beomgyu slumped back in his seat, cursing under his breath. “great. just fucking great,” he thought.

by the time lunch rolled around, beomgyu was ready to collapse. he shuffled towards the cafeteria, his head hanging low. he spotted his friends at their usual table and dragged himself over, the fluorescent lights feeling like a personal attack on his already throbbing head.

"yo, beomgyu!" yeonjun called out, waving him over. "you look like shit, man. rough night?"

beomgyu slumped into a chair, the metal groaning under his weight. a defeated grunt escaped his lips as he slumped his tray onto the table. "yeah," he mumbled, picking at his food with a complete lack of enthusiasm.

soobin, munching on an apple, raised an eyebrow. "again? dude, you really need to see a doctor or something."

beomgyu shrugged, picking at his food without much appetite. "what are they gonna do? prescribe me more useless meds? no thanks."

yeonjun leaned forward, concern etched on his face. "have you tried, like, meditation or something? i heard it can help."

beomgyu rolled his eyes. "yeah, 'cause sitting still and doing nothing is gonna magically cure my insomnia. thanks, but no thanks."

taehyun looked at him, frowning. "you really should try something, man. this can’t be good for you."

beomgyu sighed. "yeah, well, i’ve tried everything. nothing works. now i’ve got detention ‘cause i fell asleep in math."

taehyun winced. "harsh. what are you gonna do?"

"skip it, maybe. find a quiet place to sleep," beomgyu muttered, pushing his tray away.

beomgyu wandered the halls, his mind a jumble of thoughts and exhaustion. the school was a labyrinth of possibilities, each one fraught with its own set of risks and potential rewards. he needed to find the perfect place to nap, somewhere quiet and out of the way where no one would bother him.

places to (possibly) sleep 1) the janitor's closet

the first place that came to mind was the janitor’s closet. beomgyu had passed by it a million times, always noticing how the janitor, mr. lee, would leave it unlocked while he went about his duties. beomgyu headed towards the closet, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. he carefully turned the knob and slipped inside.

the closet was small and dark, filled with cleaning supplies and equipment. the smell of bleach and disinfectant was strong, but beomgyu didn’t care. he saw a small space behind a stack of boxes and decided it would have to do. he crouched down, wedging himself into the cramped space. the floor was cold and hard, but he was desperate for some rest.

he closed his eyes, trying to let the darkness and quiet lull him to sleep. just as he felt himself drifting off, the door creaked open. beomgyu’s eyes snapped open, and he held his breath. mr. lee stood in the doorway, a look of confusion quickly turning to annoyance on his face.

“hey! what are you doing in here?” mr. lee barked.

“shit,” beomgyu muttered under his breath. he scrambled to his feet, his heart pounding. “sorry, i—uh—i got lost?”

mr. lee narrowed his eyes. “out. now.”

beomgyu didn’t need to be told twice. he quickly slipped past the janitor and out into the hallway, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. so much for that.

places to (possibly) sleep 1) janitor’s closet 2) library

next, beomgyu decided to try the library. it was usually quiet, and he figured he might be able to find a secluded corner to catch some z’s. he made his way to the library, the scent of old books hitting him as soon as he stepped inside. the librarian, mrs. tanaka, gave him a stern look over her glasses, but he ignored her and began his search for the perfect spot.

the library was mostly empty, with only a few students scattered around, hunched over their books. beomgyu walked past the rows of shelves, looking for a place where he could hide from prying eyes. he found a spot in the back, behind a tall stack of books on astronomy. it was quiet, and he could hear the faint hum of the air conditioning.

he sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall, and pulled his knees to his chest. the cool air and the silence were soothing, and he felt his eyelids grow heavy. just as he was about to drift off, he heard footsteps. he peeked around the stack of books and saw a group of girls walking towards him, giggling and chatting.

“great,” he thought. “just great.”

the girls didn’t notice him at first, but as they got closer, one of them spotted him. she nudged her friend, and they both started whispering and giggling even louder. beomgyu felt his face heat up with annoyance and embarrassment. this was definitely not going to work.

he got up, brushing the dust off his pants, and made his way out of the library, ignoring the stares and whispers of the girls. “too many people and out in the open,” he thought. scratch that idea.

places to (possibly) sleep 1) janitor’s closet 2) library

beomgyu trudged on, defeat clinging to him like yesterday's gym clothes. he formulated a mental list in his head, each possibility crumpling under the weight of potential interruptions. the rooftop? too exposed. the music room? a rogue trumpet could shatter any hope of sleep.

his weary eyes scanned the familiar halls, a sliver of hope flickering as he rounded a corner. there it stood, a solitary figure against the twilight sky—the astronomy tower.

the tower, a relic of a bygone era of scientific exploration. its once-gleaming silver exterior was now weathered and rusted, the windows dark and vacant. It had been years since anyone had ventured inside, rumors of asbestos and ghosts swirling around it like dusty cobwebs.

but for beomgyu, in his desperate search for a haven, the tower's isolation was a siren song. no students lingered in its shadow, no teachers patrolled its perimeter. in that forgotten corner, a flicker of hope ignited. it might be dusty, it might be creepy, but it could be perfect. as he neared the tower, the details became more pronounced: chipped tiles forming the entrance walkway, a rusty weather vane groaning in the faint evening breeze, and the peeling paint revealing the faded inscription "ad astra per aspera" - "to the stars through difficulties." an odd prickle ran down his spine. the inscription felt oddly fitting, a challenge on this day of immense hardship. could the tower, in its own dilapidated way, be his path to the stars? to sleep, the most elusive star in his current reality? the door was old and creaky, and it took a bit of effort to push it open. just as he was about to reach for the door handle, the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day.

“fuck,” beomgyu muttered, feeling his shoulders slump in defeat. the observatory would have to wait. he decided then and there that he would check it out tomorrow during his free period. he turned and trudged back down the hallway, the prospect of a good nap tantalizingly out of reach.

⋆˚࿔ taglist! @flowzel , @izzyy-stuff , @inkigayocamman , @beombeomlovesme ⤷ want to get notified? click here!

© 2024 seoulzie

[hisui-cotton]

Today's post is even more different than usual! Today I'm giving a bit of Lore (a very small bit) in regards to my VTuber. My origin and little blurb is that I am a Alien-Elf species from a planet called Ithod. In regrads to that setting it's most similar to a DnD-esque world with fantasy races. Today I'm gonna tell a small history of my species, the Gazer(s), which are the equivalent (as I said in reference to myself) to an Elf. So I hope you enjoy reading this little blurb and intro to the world of Ithod, it's still in rough stages but these are some details that will likely remain and help give a bit of perspective of my VTuber's origins.

The Gazers are the oldest species (that can reproduce) amoungst the species on Ithod, only beat by the Ancients. Gazers are also one of the longest living, the oldest Gazer lived 12,764 years and died peacefully under the watch of the architects. It’s said and believed that a Gazer has the ability to see the future due to their excellent eyesight but that’s not true. Thier eyes do see down to a Atomic Levels but over the years their eyesight has backed down to Moluecular Levels. They often become involved with science fields like astronomy, chemistry and agricultural sciences. Overall though they are a fairly isolated species who prefer their solitude and close family company to most other interactions. They’re culture is one unique to their species unlike most of the others where they typically live in one region of Ithod and rarely are beyond that area unless going into one of Ithod’s other Fields of Study.

Gazers’ culture tend to circulate around craft dedications. Due to their sense to be isolated they dedicated their times to studying single things for their whole life. Also due to the environment of Shefare, they tend to go into some form of agriculture science to learn and better agriculture in thier harsh enviornment. A lot of the community habits are built around that idea where they account for allowing exploration in the early ages of their life to allow the choice of dedication to anything. Due to the extended age and variations of which they study in various fields, they tend to have very good connections outside their communities as well. Not many are born per year, they’re birth process takes longer than most and usually under strict conditions. Aside from their main city in Shefare, Gazers are a rare sight among the general and major populace. Although they can change aspects of their appearance, they have a distinct pupil shape which is unique to each Gazer (like a fingerprint), making them still tend to stick out in the world.

In the early ages of Ithod when the species were being created, the Gazers were made to fulfill a role assisting Ancients. Their eyesight was meant to assist in seeing details and changes in Molecular structures as Ancients and Architects continues on crafting the planet. In their early free time, they often would star gaze and ask architects about previous lands and environments which they created. Their eyesight allowed them to see semi-distant stars. Although in the process their vision in some cases worsened for close objects or vice versa. As a result some Gazers modernly have vision problems and in rare cases can't see beyond a natural viewable spectrum.

As other species began to develop and be created by architects the Gazers often took mentor roles to them, teaching agriculture, developing a unified language and more. Once most species were passing on their teachings to offspring and moving throughout the landscape of Ithod, Gazers took to settling in Shefare. Here they took less to helping architects as centuries passed, instead to studying the previously mentioned focuses in agriculture and early astronomical mapping. This led to time and space being integrated into proper understanding of Ithod and its planet movement. As time has gone on and Gazers have remained isolated, only a handful have taken up dedications outside Shefare. Hisui is one such Gazer, pursuing arts and archival studies. She has worked hard to study arts and various cultures, mainly becoming fascinated by the cultures of Earth. As a Gazer her exposure to such a lifestyle and world was limited and even then stories of Earth seemed even more fascinating than any on Ithod. Growing up in the “Washed Era”, her interest in reigniting studies of arts was a big influence on her desire to study on Earth.

And that is all for now. The next post is likely to be about the general form of Ithod as a planet and some basic info on the current societal structure of Ithod. Please look forward to it!

[kitten4sannie]

bestie help i can’t stop thinking about fucking older! ateez 😭😭😭 like iMAGINE 50-something year old san or yeosang (or san AND yeosang…👀👀) the way they’d be kinda cocky because of their success when they were younger (and their /experiences/ when they were younger) HHHH and they’d treat y/n like their little princess and when they fuck you theyd be like “does this pretty baby just need a cock inside her little pussy SO bad that she’s willing fuck an old guy like me?“ and girl u KNOW they’re both gonna be buff as FUCK by that age i- i need to stop myself

holy fuck i love you for sending this ask like i am REELING you have no idea 😭😭 i almost went insane typing this out like i am down astronomically for dilf ateez esp older ateez like okay sure 30 year old san/yeo would be fine af but 50 YEAR OLD SAN/YEO??? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP 💳💥💳💥 so yeah i ended up writing an entire fic and i know this wasn’t technically a request but i just had to 😭i dedicate the following to you bestie so i hope i did it justice 🖤

𝙰 𝙲𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚠

Older! San x Fem! Reader x Older! Yeosang

Genre: smut 

W.C: 3.6k 

Summary: San and Yeosang visit your place of work, hoping to unwind after another long day of being incredibly rich and powerful. 

Warnings: reader is in her early 20s, aged up! san/yeo, dom! san, soft dom! yeo, sansang, brief olfactophilia, cigar smoking, alcohol usage, mentions of age difference, pet names, use of the names sir/Daddy, dirty talk, degradation, super brief masterbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, fingering, oral (receiving), squirting, two instances of unprotected sex, spanking, hair pulling, creampie, kissing, multiple orgasms, overstimulation 

Song Recs: Planet Girl by Jooyoung feat. pH-1, Lost in the Fire by The Weeknd, Into It by Chase Atlantic, The Walls by Chase Atlantic

Masterlist

➽───────────────❥

You were working at your city’s local upscale cigar lounge when two of your favorite customers came in. Choi San and Kang Yeosang. Though they were both old enough to be your dad, they still were still infinitely hotter than most guys your age. And they knew it too.

As per usual, they were both dressed in fairly casual, but obviously luxury brand clothes. Gucci and YSL, from what you could recognize. You weren’t personally familiar with those brands, but you could tell just from being around the other (usually affluent) customers. Your eyes scanned them, watching them walk from the entrance over to the counter you were standing behind. They were wearing a fair amount of jewelry, the silver and gold accents of their necklaces and bracelets only serving to make the extent of their wealth just a little more obvious to anyone that was near them. Of course, you noticed the sleek buttoned loafers they had on as well, knowing those alone probably cost more than your rent. 

The wrinkles underneath their eyes appeared a little more prominent than usual, the both of them tired and ready to relax at the end of a busy day. San gave you a small wave, resting his hand down on the mahogany counter, his aromatic cologne making its way to your nose. It gave off strong accents of sandalwood, with hints of cinnamon coming through as well. 

“Welcome back, Mr. Choi. Mr. Kang. Your usual?”

San nodded his head, already pulling his leather wallet out of the back pocket of his black pleated trousers. You could tell that they were professionally tailored from the way they perfectly hugged his muscular thighs.

Two Cubans,” you started, already feeling like you were about to lose your cool, but forcing yourself to pull out a small cigar case and opening it up, pushing it in their direction for them to inspect. 

Yeosang stepped closer to the counter to pick up a cigar and make sure it was up to his standards, allowing you to smell his cologne of choice as well. Though it was similar to San’s in terms of it being able to turn you on, it had a much more gentle scent, giving off notes of citrus and lavender. “Forgetting something, dollface?” he questioned, his deep, silky voice permeating in your ears.

“And a bottle of scotch. Single malt,” you added, feeling an obvious knot already beginning to form inside your stomach. You reached for the bottle from the shelf behind you and set it down on the counter, along with an identical set of shot glasses.

“Anything else?” You twirled a lock of hair around your manicured finger and looked Yeosang up and down, who was already doing the same to you. You bit your lip, giving San a once over as well, who returned it with an even hungrier reaction. 

“It depends. Are you on the menu as well, sweetheart? I’d love to find out how you taste,” San questioned confidently in a low, but smooth tone, sliding his platinum credit card into your hand, his slender fingers drifting over yours. 

Yeosang elbowed his friend in the side, giving him a slight grimace. “Have you ever heard of being subtle?”

“Why be subtle when this works ten times faster?” San retorted, rolling his eyes, which prompted Yeosang to open his mouth like he was about to argue with him. 

Unable to ignore the aching in between your thighs, you found yourself giving into one of San’s various attempts at seducing you. Obviously, it was incredibly unprofessional of you, but you were at your wits’ end, unable to resist such a delicious offer.

“I’m…I’m actually off the clock in a little bit…if you two wanted to…you know…” you interrupted in a soft voice, paranoid that your manager would somehow catch wind of what was about to go down all the way from his office.

San and Yeosang exchanged glances, the both of them eventually sharing the same lewd smile.

“Put us down for one of the private rooms,” San informed, watching you press a few things on the screen of your work’s pos system and swipe his card through the reader, his dark eyes zoning in on how tightly your black long sleeve top fit on your body. “You’ll join us as soon as you get off, alright, baby?” 

“Of course, Mr. Choi,” you answered sweetly, handing the older man his card back, along with the key to the room. 

San shook his head slightly, putting the key and his wallet into his pocket, before wrapping his fingers around the neck of the bottle of scotch, passing the two shot glasses to Yeosang. Turning his attention back to you, he stated point-blank, “You’ll be addressing me as Daddy for the rest of the night. Now, let me hear you say it.” 

“Yes…” you started, peering over your shoulder to see if anyone was there, which no one was, thankfully. “Yes, Daddy.” San gave you a pleased smile, elbowing Yeosang just like he had done earlier. 

Yeosang added, “And you can address me as sir, pretty girl.” 

Your eyes flickered over to Yeosang’s brown ones, unconsciously wetting the corner of your lips with your tongue. “See you in a little bit, sir.” 

Yeosang slid a hand into one of his blazer pockets, looking back at you with a small smirk, picturing what you’d look like with his thumb in your mouth. “Don’t take too long, darling.” 

-

Knowing there weren’t cameras set up in the vip room for privacy reasons, you felt like you should be able to relax, but that simply wasn’t happening for you. It was most likely due to the fact that two insanely attractive men were sitting on the velvet couch opposite from you, sharing the strong liquor they had purchased and silently puffing on their cigars, all while undressing you with their eyes. 

“You’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time, haven’t you? Even though we’re thirty years your senior?” San leaned his back against the plush cushion behind him, resting a palm down onto one of his thighs.

“Mmm-hmm,” you nodded, despite gripping your knees so tightly your knuckles turned white, in search of some comfort, wondering if you were even capable of surviving this unbelievably arousing situation. 

“Nervous, baby?” San let out a soft chuckle, taking delight in your predicament, unlike his seasoned counterpart, who was already filling up a glass with the scotch and passing it in your direction.

“Ignore him. Have a drink and relax, okay? We can take things slow, fast, and everything in between. It’s up to you. We don’t even have to do this if you don’t want to,” Yeosang informed, noticing the way you shook your head and took a few gulps of the scotch.

“I want to do this. You two just make me really nervous cuz you’re so…so…” You couldn’t seem to finish your sentence, your mind too occupied with focusing on Yeosang, who had stood up and walked over to you, his elegant frame towering over your own. 

“I understand. Just be sure to let us know if you want us to stop.” Yeosang held the bottom of your chin and tilted it up, running his thumb along your bottom lip. “Nod your head for me, doll.” Once you did so, he hummed to himself. “Good girl,” he added, his words coming out like they were drenched in honey, slowly pushing his thumb past your parted lips.

You could’ve melted right then and then, the strong liquor inside your mostly empty stomach sending a pleasant warmth over the expanse of your body. “Mm,” you moaned softly, sucking on his thumb and looking up at him with half-closed eyes. 

“That’s it…” 

San tapped his cigar near the glass ashtray that was sitting on the small table between the couches, clearing his throat to get his friend’s attention. “Take off her clothes for me, Sangie,” he chimed lovingly, the vapor leaving his mouth, pleased with the sight of Yeosang smiling at him and pulling his thumb out of your mouth with a pop, so that he could pull your top off of you.

-

“Harder. Finger yourself harder, baby. Yeah, just like that,” San groaned, lazily stroking his cock with one hand and still bringing his cigar up to his lips, taking a puff of it now and then. “Are you going to cum for us?”

You were sitting back against the seat with your legs spread, pushing your digits into your cunt as deep as you possibly could, your hand starting to cramp from how long you had been going at it. “I’m trying to, Daddy,” you responded, your tone rising in pitch near the end, tossing your head back from being on the cusp of your orgasm, but not quite getting there. 

“God, you’re so hot. Does your real dad know how much of a slut you are?”

“Uh-uh.” Feeling more pain in your hand than you anticipated, you relaxed it and closed your eyes, sighing out of frustration. You didn’t even notice when Yeosang had gotten onto his knees in front of you, until you felt the flat of his tongue moving up and down your soaking cunt. “Oh, fuck-” 

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll take care of you,” he murmured, massaging his thumbs into your upper thighs and giving you a reassuring smile, prior to eating you out like you were his first meal of the day. 

“Oh my goddd…” You slumped down slightly against the couch, your fingers pushing past his dyed dark blonde locks, making eye contact with San, who was jerking himself off a little faster than before. 

“How does she taste?” San asked, squeezing his fingers around his cockhead every time he got up to it, a few droplets of pre-cum dripping down the side. 

Yeosang reluctantly pulled his mouth away from you to groan, “She tastes fucking delicious, San,” before replacing his tongue with his fingers, your eager hole swallowing them up to the hilt. 

“I’m jealous.” 

“You should be,” Yeosang chuckled, glancing back at San, as he shoved his digits into you so fast, you thought you might unravel then and there. “Don’t look away either. You’re going to watch me when I make her squirt all over my face.” 

San groaned deeply at his friend’s words, sinking even further into the couch, some of his black hair falling into his eyes. He immediately blew it out of the way so that he could admire the way Yeosang’s tongue was quickly flicking across your clit. “Don’t worry, Sangie. I’m watching…” 

“I’m…cumming…!” It didn’t take long for you to reach your limit, incredibly overwhelmed by all of the pleasure that Yeosang was giving you, as well as from the way that San was drinking in the sight of you and eagerly bringing himself to his own pinnacle of gratification.

A gravelly sounding moan erupted from Yeosang’s vocal cords, holding his mouth open near your pulsing hole and catching most of the clear liquid that squirted out of you on his tongue and in his throat, gulping it down.

“F-uuuuck, that’s so hot…” San choked out, in between grunts, his hips bucking up, just as he shot his load out onto his bare, chiseled abdomen, incredibly relieved that he had unbuttoned his overtly lavish shirt. 

You ran your fingers delicately through Yeosang’s hair, breathing heavily and shuddering when he cleaned up the rest of his arousal with his tongue. “Nnngh, please, sir, let me take care of you too.” 

“No need, doll,” he replied shakily, his porcelain cheeks incredibly flushed and his eyes glossy. Yeosang unbuttoned his velvet pants and pulled them down, along with his tight briefs, revealing his softened, cum-covered length. 

“Oh, wow…” you blushed, bringing a hand up to your mouth and gawking at him, biting back a gasp when Yeosang’s dick started to come alive again just from the way you were looking at it. 

San sighed softly, slicking his slightly damp hair back. “That’s my Sangie, always so eager to please.”

Smiling, Yeosang stood up and walked back to the other couch, sitting down next to San and gathering up some of his own cum, gently moving it up and down his friend’s length to make him hard again.

San groaned in delight, adding, “But enough about him.” He snapped his fingers, gaining your attention, beckoning you in his direction with his index finger. “Come over here and sit on my cock, baby.” 

You almost ran into the coffee table, just narrowly avoiding it and enthusiastically lowering yourself down on San’s lap. “Are you going to fuck me nice and hard, Daddy?” 

“What kind of question is that, sweetheart? It’d be a sin not to.” San grabbed both sides of your ass and kneaded into it with his strong hands, guiding your entrance to his cockhead and pushing himself inside, a few inches at a time, until all nine were inside of you.

“Oh, fuuuuck…” you exhaled, reveling in the feeling of being completely filled up by the man you had been secretly pining for. 

Seeing Yeosang starting to jerk himself off through his peripheral, San began slamming himself into you, right out of the gate, the couch creaking underneath the both of you. “You like watching me fuck her like this, Yeo? Huh? You love it, don’t you?”

Yeosang moaned, moving his hand a bit faster, relishing the dynamic he shared with his friend, as well as the sight of you taking his cock in such an obedient way. “Pull her hair, San…for me…and-fuck-kiss her neck!” 

San followed Yeosang’s directions, bunching up your hair and holding it like you had it up in a ponytail, then pulling it down so you had to look up and expose your neck in the process, earning a strangled sound of pleasure from your lips. “Yeah? You fucking like that?” 

“Uh-huhhh…” You closed your eyes for a moment, shivering when San lazily kissed, lapped at, and sucked on your neck, feeling his warm breath hit your skin whenever he let out a soft pant from how hard he was fucking you.

Yeosang leaned his body weight against San’s, their shoulders and toned arms pressing into one another. “Keep talking to her like that…” he said in a voice barely above a whisper, completely wrapped up in the heavy, intoxicating tension that seemed to swallow the room whole.

“Do you like the way I’m pounding this pretty pussy of yours, baby?” San complied, squeezing his fingers into the sides of your bouncing ass and smacking it a few times, making sure to leave a few handprints. 

“Yes, Daddy…!” 

“Who fucks you better? Me or those twenty-something shitheads you meet on Tinder?”

“You!” 

Yeosang leaned his head down against San’s shoulder, hunching over slightly so that his hand could slide rapidly up and down his throbbing length. “Oh, god…”

“Do you think your coworkers can hear you being a little whore for me? What about that manager of yours? Do you think he knows you’re getting your pussy stuffed by a man way older than him? And being watched by someone who’s just as old?” 

“I don’t care if he does! Fuck me harder!” you cried, almost delirious at this point. 

Yeosang shook his head, letting go of his cock to comment, “Jesus Christ, San, you know I don’t like it when you talk about how old we are. It’s making me go soft.” 

San scoffed, stopping his movements for a moment so that he could casually give Yeosang a side eye, allowing you to bounce on his cock instead, giving you the power to bring yourself to a much-needed state of ecstasy. San groaned out, pressing his head back into the couch, grumbling, “I can’t help that it turns me on, Yeo. Are you really kink-shaming me right now? In the middle of this?” 

“I’m not-”

“Ohhh, I see. You’re just upset she’s not fucking herself dumb on your cock, huh?” San reached over and patted Yeosang’s thigh, giving him a cheeky grin. “Don’t worry, Yeo. Once I empty my load into her, you can have a turn.”

Yeosang’s hand returned to his cock, giving it enough attention so that he could return to the same state of pleasure he was at before, focusing on the way your tits bounced in front of San’s sweaty face. 

“You’ll let me cum inside you, yeah?” San grabbed onto one of your breasts and moved it around, idly tweaking one of your nipples with two fingers, bringing a sharp gasp out of you.

“I…I don’t know…” Though you were on birth control, you dreaded the thought of having to try to keep cum from spilling out of you on the walk out of the building, and including the drive home. What if it stained the seats? And you just got them redone too. That would be-

“Please, baby,” he groaned, the muscles in his thighs tightening, making them go rigid, some of his pre-cum coating your soaked inner walls. “What if I buy you something? You want a pretty little dress? Or what about a new laptop, huh? I’ll even double whatever you get on your paycheck — just let me cum inside you, baby. Please, let me fill this slutty cunt of yours!” 

“Okay, okay! Just hurry up and-” You couldn’t form another word, too preoccupied with the way that San was holding you down, his hot cum filling you up to the brim, to the point that some had to drip down the base of his dick. 

“Ohhhh, god…that’s it…” 

Once San pulled out, Yeosang had already recovered from his own orgasm and picked you up by the waist, effortlessly pulling you into his own lap and immediately replacing San’s cock with his own, growing hard inside you, upon feeling your walls tightening up around his thick length. “It’s my turn, darling.” 

“Oh my god,” was all you could get out, unable to resist the way Yeosang began expertly bucking his hips up into yours, hitting your g-spot almost instantly. “Sir…!” 

“What a good girl you are, taking another cock right after taking mine,” San cooed near your ear, biting the shell of it and slamming his palm into your ass, causing you to cry out. 

“Does that feel good, angel?” Yeosang spoke up, peppering your sensitive neck with kisses, his calloused hands running up and down along the curves of your body, eventually settling on your tits and cupping them. 

“Y-esss, so fucking good…!” You were about to explain how amazing it felt in further detail, but you were silenced when the man’s lips suddenly pressed onto yours, his tongue slipping into your slightly open mouth. You wrapped your arms around his neck, appreciating how desperate he was to kiss you, to explore your mouth so fervently, as though he had a time limit. 

San moved even closer to the both of you, grabbing the opposite side of your chin and pulling you towards him, breaking the kiss and allowing small ropes of spit to fall from your lips. “Let me have a taste,” he mumbled, pressing his mouth onto yours and kissing you in a more sloppy, but still passionate manner. 

Being stimulated in so many ways at once sent you over the edge, feeling your pussy clenching around Yeosang’s length, just as a large amount of arousal splashed out onto it. “Mmmnnn!” 

“How many times did you cum for us, baby? I bet you can’t even count,” San mused, gently pushing your face away and reaching down in between your heated bodies, rubbing your swollen clit. “Cum again, babydoll, so you can brag about it to your little friends on your social media later.” 

“I…ahhhh….” Your eyes were rolling back into your skull, your head and body pulsing with mind-numbing delight, barely able to keep any sort of grasp on reality.

Yeosang pumped himself into you at such a fast speed, San could barely keep his fingers on your clit, but still managed to play with it long enough that their combined efforts sent you into a fit of pleasure-induced hysteria. 

All you could get out was a string of yeses, while quite a few tears fell down your warm cheeks, hardly noticing when Yeosang wiped them away and pulled out of you, just in time for his cum to land on your chest and abdomen in slow spurts.

Almost passing out, you pulled off of Yeosang and settled in between the two older men, huffing and puffing until the flood of endorphins that had previously rushed to your brain finally mellowed out. 

After a few moments of comfortable silence, San reached for his half-filled glass of scotch and took a small sip of it, then leaned back against the couch, spreading his arms across the top of it. “So, laptop it is, then?” he asked, nudging your thigh with his own. 

You sucked your teeth, shaking your head slightly. “Mm, I’ll take the money. And if we do this again, would you consider tripling the amount if I let you cum inside me as much as you want?” 

San sighed softly, facing you and giving you what could only be described as heart eyes, prior to looking past you at Yeosang, who was too busy sending a proud smile your way. “I think I’m in love,” San admitted, drumming his fingers lightly against the couch. 

Yeosang reached over to you so that he could caress your cheek, earning a small sound of approval from you. “Get in line, pal.” 

➽───────────────❥

(i figured i would tag everyone for this since it was a full-fledged fic lol)

Tags: @dazzlinglight @thefinerthingz3 @cloudysannie @aryraaaa @za-con @cosmiczen @choerryge @aikyubi @arusio @gueritaybonita @i-l0v3hands @ethicalz @jinsonaz @kitty4hwa @jexidamulti @as-she-pleases @purplechannie @lilactiny @jazzymoore @kodzukein @asjkdk @cherryxsang @namsloverr @chanst1ddies @woo-stars @createyour0wnworld @roarmingi @simeonswhore @k0rean-big-mini0n @fairyoftaehyun @bls-luv-me @lavanyasingh04 @igotlockedout @fl0r4f4wn @miriamxsworld @mork-ly @woosmaid @kawaiikels @azcon @merciluv-blog @atzcrime @lovekeeho @sup-dallyboy @allofuswantgwinam @breezy-simp @Eastleighblogs @singularity777

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© toxicccred, 2022.

[thesecondface]

don’t look up

first order of business on christmas day: watching the nihilistic satire that is don’t look up. I have not laughed like this in a year, it is utterly FABULOUS, doesn’t at all take itself seriously (and let me just tell you how pleased I am that they made the comet a rubble–pile in their models, they actually scienced the small details!)

highlights include:

AILF (astronomer I’d like to fuck)

jennifer lawrence, timothee chalamet and leo dicaprio walked into a (car) 

jennifer lawrence is a “phd candidate” who looks like rooney mara from the girl with the dragon tattoo, timothee “you’ve got some church game” chalamet is an evangelical skateboarder, leo dicaprio is a scientist on the verge of a nervous breakdown with no science communication skills and the general scientist’s lot

the general scientist’s lot: panic attacks, crashing depressions, high blood pressure, restless leg, weight gain WHEN I TELL YOU I DIED

“the world is ending in 6 months and 14 days” followed by “can I meet your mother in 7 months?”

“michigan state? really? let’s get this information to the ivy leaguers... and cambridge”—did me in, because as per usual, nobody ever knows any other unis outside of the oxbridge and the american ones

leo dicaprio: such palpable on–screen anxiety that I felt it where I was sitting this poor dude

ariana “I have a tattoo of a shooting star” grande, going on instagram live saying “guyyyysss this comet stuff is really stressing me out” in the face of literal annihilation 

nobody cares that the world is about to end, a solid third of the world is more concerned with ariana grande, another third thinks it’s a conspiracy theory, and the final third are capitalists who want to exploit the situation

the phones that autobuy ariana’s new song

“I’ve been thinking about the free snacks... why would they make us pay for free snacks?”— jennifer lawrence’s fixation on this with the looming extinction level asteroid incoming (and the commentary on the capitalism in general, where the only thing that trickles down is the mentality and not the goods)

ariana, the fucking SONG, the beautiful subtitles of “you’re about to die soon everybody [vocalising]”

“was this even peer reviewed?” WHEN I TELL YOU I DIED PT II

teddy “I just have more skin pigmentation than you, because your ancestors migrated to europe” oglethorpe getting arrested my poor bae

cate “my grandfather invented flash–freezing and I have four master’s degrees, know three languages and slept with two former presidents” blanchett

all the commentary on corporate capitalism: president meryl streep taking on a trump persona, in the pocket of billionaire not-elon with his company not-space-x, diverting the mission to blow up the asteroid because it’s chock full of PGEs and that’s trillions right there

america: the saviours of mankind (and virtually no mention of any other country; I think this was an intentional dig at all the american–oriented disaster movies)

the NEPOTISM: president meryl and her son jonah hill (who she later FORGETS, I—)

timothee chalamet introducing himself with “hi i’m firepuma162751585 on twitch, do you game?”

the conspiracy theories; “there is no comet” and the whole commentary on intentional ignorance of clear evidence, denial mentalities, sheer stupidity etc. with the “don’t look up”. fabulous

the tide-pod cinnamon blast off challenge

an american ‘hero’ on the mission to save the world, giving a speech live to said world about saving “all those beautiful white folk working hard at home”. same american shooting the comet with a gun going “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE”. 

the repeated “just a different generation” STILL DYING, I AM

the chris evans cameo and the goddamn movie poster, for camp sit on the fence (look up AND look down!)—they covered every camp, lemme tell you

surprisingly poignant dinner table scene at the end of the world. the cheery, trembling voices, the premature use of past tense while ignoring the shaking house, lauding the store–bought apple pie. fabulous acting

the billionaire ship at the ending, and the garden of eden vibes before prompt carnage via space dinosaurs

jonah hill, last man left alive

they did not hold back. the societal commentary was real, it was frighteningly realistic in some ways and hilariously fatalistic in other ways. it was depression with a side of hilarity come to life, and I loved it. 

[rayneing-on-your-parade]

@a-mag-a-day Day 2: Episode 2: do not open

Joshua Giuseppe our hero and savior.

The amount of things introduced in this episode is astronomical

We’ve got two major plot points introduced so early on and we didn’t even notice!

Breekon and Hope and John introducing the stranger. And the role Breekon and Hope play later!

And the coffin! Like THE COFFIN! The whole reason Daisy doesn’t kill Jon in s4. It’s just wild how much foreplanning Jonny did, even if it wasn’t all ultra planned out.

The buried is one of my least favorite entities, just due to the fact that I am claustrophobic and money issues are one of my biggest stressors.

But like the foreshadowing of the Buried,

1: We’ve got the mention of singing sounding like it was coming through 20 feet of hard packed dirt and the scratching like something wanted out

2: Josh didn’t need money but the coffin showed up AFTER he spent the money?? Coincidence? With Jonny? I think not

3: Freezing the key?? A common thing people with gambling or shopping addictions do with the credit and debit cards???????

4: Josh constantly talks about how he feels trapped in place, he makes tea after the coffin gets delivered and he just stands at the kettle, after he made the deal with john he wanted to chase after and return the money but “something weighed me down, kept me locked into my seat”

Also also Jonny really was just like, “here’s hope that people will be smart in this show” and then like never gave us more than maybe 3 other smart people ™️ (imo those are Adelaide “bury him in concrete” Dekker, Sebastian “It’s not my business” Skinner, and Robin “I’m late for dinner” Lennox)

I love this episode so damn much yall. Josh is our hero. Our savior. He would have ended the eyepocalypse immediately.

As per usual the first link is the version with just notes that would have been made around the time Jon recorded the statement and the second has notes all the way through s5.

Key and Masterpost here!

Previous Episode | Next Episode

[trudy-shams]

What we become - part 6

6 months later ------------ You checked out your reflection in the mirror for the 12th time, every 10 minutes in the span of 2 hours. Steve was late today. No!  You were NOT nervous, you just wanted to look presentable. You were a reflection of the place you worked for and you loved Asgard so it was not totally absurd you wanted to make sure you were looking good.

"The blonde boy isn't here yet, please stop wasting time in front of the mirror and take those drinks to table #6" Clint grumbled.

Him sitting in your section 5 times a week and leaving cute notes (and some hefty tips) did not go unnoticed by anyone. And no one was subtle about it. From Loki to Thor to Clint to Gamora, everyone teased you endlessly.

"Seriously, I don't know what is holding you, or him, back. Just go out on a date already" Gamora said while tipping her head towards the door.

And in walked Steve, in all his smedium t-shirt and khaki pants glory.

His eyes immediately found yours and his face split into a big grin as he made his way to a table.

Sometimes you wonder how you didn't see until now how handsome he was, but you know for a fact that your perception of beauty changes as you get to know them better. Sometimes their personality makes them more appealing while other times it's the exact opposite.

You couldn't stop the smile that spread on your lips.

You neared Steve's table "You are late today"

Steve dopey smiled back "I got stuck at an event my father organized but I slipped away as soon as I could and then there was the usual traffic"

"I have told you so many times, we have another branch of Asgard near where you live, you don't have to make the hour long drive just for some beers" You smirked.

The first time you got to know how far he lives, you were slightly confused as to why he would drive all the way. He just shrugged and smiled, saying he liked the ambience of this place better. You didn't really believe him but didn't push him either.

Now? Now you kinda knew why he drove so far. It would be stupid to pretend otherwise but you couldn't pass an opportunity to tease him.

"And I have told you, I really like the ambience " Steve was not the shy fella who couldn't meet your eyes anymore. It took a while but he slowly lost his inhibitions around you.

And you? Well, your perspective of him changed the very day he saved your life. You were so grateful to him.

But as you got to know him better, you felt a lot more for him than just thankfulness.

"So your usual then?" You took out your notepad.

"No, not today. I am already late, maybe I will take a to-go bag for some snacks. Enough for two people" Steve had this look on his face.

You were disappointed and you hoped it wasn't obvious on your face.

"Oh sure, I will bring it up right now" You internally cringed at the high pitch of your voice.

"Oh no, no rush, take your time. I know your shift doesn't end for another 30 minutes" Steve was full on smiling now.

It took a moment for you to realize what he meant and you bit your lip to keep from smiling.

"Well that's very presumptuous of you Mr. Rogers. I might have better things to do then go out on a d.., accompany you to whatever secret cult meeting you drive an hour for" Steve laughed out loud before pressing his hands to his chest.

"The Perseids Meteor shower is supposed to peak today and the sky is clear enough for a good view. It might be something fun to watch "Steve lost steam by the time he finished his sentence seeing your stern expression " it's Friday night so I thought you wouldn't have classes tomorrow and work. The best time to view is after midnight and If you are not comfortable, I understand"

You did your best to keep your laughter in at Steve's rambling but maintained your serious demeanor "We will have a few hours to kill then, do you want to watch a movie"

"I totally... what?" Steve was giving you his signature puppy dog eyes.

You finally dropped the act and grinned "I have been begging Nakia for days but she claims that no astronomical event can keep her from her beauty sleep. I am so glad you asked. It would be so much fun. We can take some drinks too. We can stop by my place and grab a picnic mat. Do we need chairs? Blan..."

"Ok doll breath" the nickname just slipped out but Steve decided to act calm"I have everything ready. We can just pack some food and we are good to go"

You did a tiny jump. "I can't wait" --------------- 12 Months later

"See, both Mr. Darcy and Lizzi are seeing things through their own corrupt lenses" you supplied hazily

The warm weather and shining sun had almost put you to sleep.

Then there was Steve's warmth that radiated from where you were leaning against him. His cologne, his soothing voice as he hummed a tune now and then and the comfort of knowing he  was there with you.

Steve and you were sitting in your favorite park. You, with your books and Steve with his sketch pad, as had become the norm for Sundays. Steve always asked you what you were reading and you always asked him what he was drawing.

Steve would show you his sketch if you would give him a summary of the book you were reading and answer his questions. You borrowed a few books from Mr. Stark's library every time you went home.

There was something about reading a physical book that you loved.

You had grabbed your all time favorite this morning while stepping out to Steve's bike.

"Usually people assume that one character had pride while the other had prejudiced views but I feel that they both had pride and their own prejudices. For instance, Lizzy knows what Mr. Darcy is saying about her family is true and on occasions, she has pointed out the same to her mother and sisters, even her father, but she is wounded when Mr. Darcy states the same. Her mind sees Mr. Darcy is a spoiled rich man with no compassion or heart" you went on, now glancing at Steve "but we should always remember, never judge a book by it's cover... or initial few pages" you stuck your tongue out at your own silliness.

Steve had this wistful smile on his face "Yeah, sometimes the first few pages cannot tell you the full story"

"That's why I read all books that I begin till the end" you all but whispered to Steve seeing how close he had come to you.

"I am so happy that you do" Steve whispered back. Just one inch, that's all you needed.

And then Steve's phone went off.

You both jerked away.

Steve took the call while you hid behind your book for the rest of the day. ---------------- 18 Months Later

"You will call me as soon as you reach" you repeated for the 5th time.

"I will, first things" Steve promised.

Steve had been enrolled in a 1 year MBA from a university in another country, as per his father's wishes. Apparently, it was a rite of passage all children in his father's circle had to go through. You were told by Nat that James, or Bucky as she called him, had been there too.

Like that was supposed to make you feel better.

Not that you could ask Steve to stay. You weren't officially dating.

You didn't know what was holding Steve or you back. Well, you knew what was holding you back. You didn't know what you would do if Steve rejected you.

You were sure he had feelings for you but you still felt that there was a wall between you two and you had solid reasons.

You had never, not once, met any of Steve's friends. Not even as a friend.

He always came to you, the area where you lived. Never the other way around.

He hadn't added you in any social media accounts he had.

There was a small part of you, which was growing everyday, that believed he was embarrassed to be seen with you. Not that Steve ever made you feel like that when you were together.

But then there was this glaring fact that he never asked you out on a proper date. It was always a plan to 'hang out'.

And that he hadn't even kissed you yet.

And now he was leaving for 12 months.

"I will miss you" Steve looked at you with such a rueful smile that you had to look away.

"Well, I will be right here. Literally, I will wait for you right here, at the airport gate, with a bunch of welcome home balloons and a six pack of your favorite. Who knows, maybe I can convince Ms.Hella to start an airport outlet and I will meet you inside, waiting with your regular order as soon as you land" you tried to lighten the mood.

"I will touch down at the airport every weekend then" Steve smiled which did not reach his eyes.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Mr. Rogers" You turned to him and smiled, having reached the security check.

Steve was hugging you the next second. Arms squeezing you tight while he murmured in your ear " I will miss you sweetheart, So much."

You took a deep breath to hold your tears in "I will miss you too".

You stood like that for a moment. You pretended not to notice the way Steve smelled your hair and planted a lingering kiss on your hair.

You both reluctantly parted.

"I will see you soon stranger" you whispered and started stepping back.

You had to let him go before you did something stupid. But ultimately, Steve beat you to it.

He grabbed your arm as you were about to turn away, jerked you forward, and planted his lips on yours.

There was nothing soft about the kiss. It was bruising. It was months of pent up frustration, attraction and tension all coming to the fore.

One of his hands was tangled in your hair while the other was like a steel band around your waist. You didn't know when your hands ended up crushing the t -shirt material around his chest. It was all tongue and teeth and desperation.

When you both came up for air, Steve looked absolutely wrecked.

He held you close and pressed 6 more quick kisses on your lips.

I *kiss* will *kiss* miss *kiss* you *kiss* so *kiss* much *kiss*

With that, he loosened his grip on your waist and hair and stepped back. Hair out of place and cheeks flushed crimson.

He let out a deep exhale and turned around, speed walking through security, not looking back once.

While you stood there, rooted to the spot for a few minutes, trying to catch your breath and quell the butterflies in your stomach, wondering what the hell just happened.

[onestowatch]

Oston Pens Her Coming-of-Age Story on ‘Am I Talking Too Much? [Q&A]

Photos: Dolly Ave at Lollapalooza

Rising star OSTON is no longer sitting at the kids' table. In her new EP, Am I Talking Too Much?, the singer-songwriter puts her fears, frustrations, and deepest thoughts on display. It’s a victorious display of emotion sonically paired with massive pop moments, an ethereal interlude, impressively sharp lyricism, and so much more.

Am I Talking Too Much?, which has been in the works since 2019, has forged a path through a time of tough life lessons, self-realization, and most importantly confidence. The project navigates topics such as the pressures of growing up and the universal fear of falling in love in just eight poignant tracks. Overall, the EP tells OSTON’s coming-of-age story, learning when to not take things seriously and gaining the ability to spot those who underestimate her tenacity.

We had the chance to chat with OSTON about the making of the EP, what it means to her, and an exclusive track-by-track breakdown.

Tell us about what’s different this time around, versus making your debut EP, Sitting at the Kids Table?

Am I Talking Too Much? feels astronomically different from my debut EP in so many ways. When we were making my first project, Sitting at the Kids Table, I was really focused on creating a project and getting it out into the world rather quickly. The songs were written and produced with a very fast turnaround, and because I was so new to the industry, I was more than okay with that.

After that project came out, I started really digging into my artistry. Since Am I Talking Too Much? was written over the course of two-and-a-half-ish years, I got to choose exactly which songs I felt described this second chapter of my musical life. I went through some huge life changes while writing this EP, and I think that’s very apparent in the story arch of this project.

Taking “last time pt. II” into consideration, do you feel Am I Talking Too Much? is a continuation of the topics explored in Sitting at the Kids Table or does it exist in your head as a separate entity entirely?

This EP feels like an entirely new chapter of my life, just as I hope the next generation of music I put out can serve as something completely new. This project follows me on a journey of moving away from home, shedding toxic relationships and old layers that used to hold me back, and learning not to define myself by how others view me (or at least trying not to). Other than the name “last time pt. ii,” the two songs live as their own entities, and I’m really excited for listeners to discover that.

You have some special collaborators who worked on the EP, can you tell us about your creative journey with everyone who helped this project come to life?

I was lucky enough to get to work with some of my closest friends and collaborators on this project, which is part of the reason it’s so special to me. My boyfriend, Drew, executive produced the whole project (with me staring over his shoulder the whole time). Our great friend, Nydge, came in on two of the songs (“Am I Talking Too Much?” and “Sour”) to help spice up the direction a bit. I also co-wrote a few of the songs with my friends JORDY, lixa, and Mr. Popular—who all helped bring the crazy stories inside my head to life.

What are some of your goals for 2021, if any? Or are you just taking things day by day?

2021 has been an absolutely crazy year for me so far, and I’m lucky enough to say that I’ve already reached a lot of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year. For starters, finishing up and releasing this EP has been an enormous box on my to-do list, so finally having it out in the world is a huge accomplishment in itself.

Last weekend, I experienced a crazy, unexpected run of shows – I opened for Omar Apollo at the Metro in Chicago for a Lollapalooza aftershow, and then stepped into the official lineup of Lollapalooza on Friday at the Lake Shore Stage. I hadn’t even imagined playing my first music festival for another year or two! Another bucket list goal of mine has been to go on a support tour with another artist, and I’ll be joining my great friend JORDY on his “Mind Games” tour in the fall!

What do you want listeners to take away from listening to Am I Talking Too Much?

If you listen to this EP and take anything with you, I hope it’s the understanding that there is always room to make mistakes, and nobody ever gets everything right the first time around. We all live through our own tragedies, and that’s what makes us the badass people that we are.

Would you mind breaking down each track on the project for us?

“Am I Talking Too Much?”

This was actually the first song we wrote for this project. At the time, I was thinking it would just be a single, but I could never get over the idea of a whole body of work called “Am I Talking Too Much?.” It just felt so fitting with who I am as a person.

The concept came from a date where I was talking with this guy, and he turned to me and said, “Wow, you sure talk a lot don’t you?” I walked away reflecting on how talking “too much” and overthinking are such big characteristics of mine. But, it’s also a part of what makes me who I am, and I realized that maybe the people who love and accept me for that are the people I really want in my life anyways.

“Hypocrite!”

“Hypocrite!” was such a fun and quick one to write that came from one day in the studio with the amazing writer/producer Mr. Popular. We started talking and joking about the stereotypical “shitty ex” that gaslights you and tries to make you think that everything they do is somehow your fault. It was particularly fun and therapeutic for me because I got to pull from multiple different relationships throughout my life to create this one sort of evil, hypocritical character as the star of the song.

“I Think You Should Leave”

Man, I love this song. It’s such a fun one! I’ve never really let myself get as pop as I did with this one. Drew and I really just aimed to have a fun time writing this one and wanted it to be as out-there as it could. I’d call this the “party anthem” of the project, telling off all the haters and mansplainers. This is the song that gets the most hate on social media, and it’s quite funny to me that the main group of people getting angry online are exactly the demographic we wrote it about.

“Lie About You”

“Lie About You” was the last song written for this project. In all reality, the song was never supposed to see the light of day. After I got the demo back, I actually really hated the song and it felt way too personal and on-the-nose with what I was going through to ever release.

I don’t know what willed me to throw the demo up on TikTok (maybe it was the fact I was visiting home, drinking wine, and feeling sappy as per usual) but the next morning I woke up to a viral video and thousands of people asking me to release the song for real. That same day I was supposed to announce “I Think You Should Leave,” but my management called me and was like “Dude, we’ve gotta finish this one and put it out like, tomorrow.” and that’s exactly what we did!

“Hurt Like___”

“Hurt Like___” came at a time when I wanted to write something really sad and emotional, even though that wasn’t how I was actually feeling in the moment. I decided to write this alternate ending for my relationship with Drew—one where I had let my fear of things going wrong take over. I wrote the story of our breakup and how I thought I would’ve felt if we ended things when I moved to LA, instead of continuing to date long-distance and then eventually move in together. I’ve actually never written a song from this point of view before, so it was pretty challenging, but so worth it.

“How To Feel Human”

JORDY, Drew and I wrote this on a little trip to Drew’s old Chicago studio in the middle of the pandemic. We all had a little pink wine (this was also the same week that we wrote “Tomorrow” for JORDY’s project, so clearly we were feeling pretty sappy) and we started reminiscing about how easy things used to be when we were younger and living at home with our parents – even though it didn’t always seem like it back then.

We realized that as you get older and move away from your upbringing, the idea of “home” starts to become less and less clear. You start to find “home” in the places you move to and the people you surround yourself with, and the childhood memories of “home” sort of start to fade into the distance. It’s a pretty somber topic, but when you surround yourself with the right people, it makes growing up a whole lot easier.

“last time pt. II”

All I’ll say about this one is that Drew and I wrote it before our very first date. It was kind of our way of saying goodbye to the people in our lives that were holding us back, and realizing what we had sitting right in front of us. This song makes me wanna cry every time I hear it.

“Sour”

Sour is my unapologetically-honest diary entry to myself. Funny enough, this record actually started out in a completely hyper-pop direction with massive synths and drums, but I couldn’t get any of the lyrics or melodies to make sense. When we went back in and stripped it down to just piano vocals, this whole story started flowing out of me. I started asking myself why I treat myself the way that I do, and similarly, why society encourages us to be so critical of ourselves and one another.

I wanted to pay tribute in this song to one of my biggest musical inspirations, which is the Melodrama album by Lorde and Jack Antonoff. The outro bit of the song deviates away from the piano/vocal vibe and shifts into a very musical, ethereal space. This is where the project starts to culminate and become blurry—I wanted this bit to feel like a conclusion to the chaos of the seven songs that came before it.

Ending the song with the words “but I gotta go” felt like the best parting gift as I left to start another chapter of my musical life.

[imagine-docx]

miscommunication.

Summary: You’re ignoring your best friend because he keeps blowing you off to hang out with some random girl. He thinks you’re ignoring him because you’re pregnant. [bestfriendsturnedlovers!au]

Warnings: swearing, and talks of pregnancy.

A/N: the amount of love and support everyone has given me is astronomical. i hope everyone is maintaining social distancing and are getting any packages they ordered online. - amanda 💛

★。＼｜／。★

Cupid is a little bitch. There it was said. Out in the open for anyone to read. He was a little bitch who couldn’t aim properly. Like how does one fuck up so badly by shooting his love arrow at you and you being deeply in love with your long time best friend? You can’t, but of course the baby fucked up and made it happen.

And it doesn’t help that said best friend is constantly spending time with you whether it was bringing you coffee between clients or spending Saturday nights with you. For instance, here he was now, in your living room being the designated human swatch board for all the new eyeshadow palettes that came in the mail because he has the most arm space.

“So how was last night?” Steve asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

He was referencing the fact that you were supposed to go out with Wanda and Nat the night before, but you ended up cancelling because you were way too exhausted having long work hours during the week and just knocking out after a warm bath.

“So much fun,” you said, jokingly

“Any hot hookups?” Steve asked, trying not to get jealous at the thought of you spending the night with another man.

“Of course,” you said, still joking.

Steve was going to examine your eyes that were focused on swatching a metallic blue eyeshadow to his arm. But that’s when he saw it. The bright purple mark on the side of your neck.

Jealousy suddenly filled Steve, he wanted to be the only one to mark you like that, hell even see you in that way. Go to bed with you at night, go do stupid couple things across New York with you.

Little did he know the mark wasn’t a hickey, but in fact it was a burn mark that you acquired from curling your hair three days prior that was still in the process of healing.

Little did both of you now know, that would mark the start of the game of cat and mouse between the two of you.

★。＼｜／。★

Since the night in your apartment, Steve has been dry and constantly blowing off plans to the point where you don’t even want to try and plan anything with him anymore. Hell even his texts were dry, and your phone conversations went from hours on end, all the way to a solid three minutes. It’s been three weeks of one sided attempts of plans, but there’s always something coming up. Maybe once or twice you would let shit slide and understand maybe something happened, but three consecutive times? It’s suspicious as hell.

You were thinking back to figure out if you’ve done anything to upset him, but to your knowledge, you did nothing. You even talked to Hope about everything, and even she said you didn’t do anything wrong.

You had the longest day at work doing back to back to back meetings about possible makeup looks for upcoming photoshoots. You were ready to go home and call it a night. While walking down Front Street, you decided to see if Steve was available one last time. Pulling out your phone, you scrolled until you hit call on his contact name. “Hello?”

“Hey, what are you up to tonight?” You asked, walking by Front Street Pizza you peered in and saw Steve sitting there with a blonde.

“Hey I’m actually busy with the boys right now, and we’re going out, can I call you back?” He asked.

“Yeah, bye.” You said, not even waiting for a response. Upon hanging up the phone, you scoffed, before letting out a, “Boys night my ass.” You turned the other way and decided to take another street home.

★。＼｜／。★

Of course, seeing Steve with the random blonde sparked an internal debate with yourself. On one hand they could be acquaintances who are just getting a bite to eat. But the other half of you came to the conclusion that he kept blowing you off in order to hang out with the blonde because he doesn’t need his best friend cockblocking him.

Steve being a man of his word tried calling you back the same night, but you brushed it off and pretended that you left your phone in your apartment while you were in the basement doing laundry.

You would have been completely fine with him saying he was on a date with someone else. Even though you liked him, you would never get in the way of another relationship. But having him lie about it to you hurt even more than the idea of him having a girlfriend.

★。＼｜／。★

You never would have anticipated the wheels turning and you were avoiding Steve and he was suddenly chasing you. The moment you started being dry, there were texts, calls, and attempts at plans.

Scoffing at it, he suddenly went from pretending you didn’t exist to now being your guardian.

If anyone messaged you or called you, you would answer as per usual. But if it was him attempting to contact you, you would forget you own a phone and act like you need a pigeon with a note attached to it to get in contact with you.

Seconds ago you got a phone call from Steve, you ignored it as per usual. But then seconds later, it ringed again. You were a mere millisecond away from throwing your phone off the balcony, until you saw it was Hope.

“What’s up?” You answered.

You heard sniffling on the other line, “Can you come over?”

★。＼｜／。★

And that’s how you found yourself at Hope and Scott’s apartment at 1 am on a Monday night. With Scott not being home, and Cassie being at her mom's house for the week, it was just the two of you. Having Hope pace in front of you, you looked down in shock at the positive pregnancy test she handed you the moment you walked through the door. “What do I do?”

“Look at me Hope,” she turned to look at you, “Do you want to have this kid?”

“Yes, but what if Scott doesn’t want to have one? Cassie is already enough for him,” she started tearing up again.

“Scott would be ecstatic to have another kid. Have you talked about having kids with him?” You asked.

“Yes, but we never specified a ti-”

“Okay, you talked about it, and what did he say?” You said, ushering her to sit next to you.

She let out a shaky breath, “He wanted to have kids with me.”

“So then there’s nothing to worry about. If anything, you know we’re here for you,” you said, referring to the friend group that consisted of Nat, Wanda, you, Pepper and Okoye.

She threw her arms around you, “Thank you.”

“No problem love,” you said, hugging her back, “Now we need a way to tell Scott he’s having another kid.”

★。＼｜／。★

Two weeks after your Hope pregnancy adventure, you were still playing the avoidance of Steve game.

You answered his texts, but they were super dry. Things like, ‘sorry have a lot of work going on’ or ‘hey i’m out with someone right now’ or your personal favourite ‘hey, i’m super tired/not feeling well sorry’. Which you all sent in the comfort of your own apartment, because you knew if you didn’t respond he would be ripping your apartment door off its hinges with his bare hands to ensure you were okay.

Today you finished work early, despite being out of the house since four am. Since the day was still young, and partially because you drank too many redbulls so you can’t sleep, you remembered you had to return a pair of jeans that couldn’t fit properly.

Since you were already at the mall, you decided to check if NYX had any new makeup palettes you could possibly use for upcoming clients and projects, and pick up some unisex baby clothes to start helping out Hope for the arrival of her kid.

Little did you know you had a familiar blond following you around the mall.

★。＼｜／。★

Steve thought it was his eyes playing tricks on him when he saw you in the middle of American Eagle. He had to rub his eyes a few times to make sure it was you. He was going to pass by your apartment tonight to make sure you were okay, but seeing you made him feel better.

He saw you returning a pair of jeans, and he thought nothing of it because he knew that online shopping was a hit or miss, and based off the return, was a miss for you.

He didn’t know how, but he found himself following you around the mall to make sure you were okay.

He waited outside the NYX and watched you examine the palettes and think about whether or not you had the colours at home. He followed you into the Macy’s, and watched you in the baby section while he pretended to shop in the men’s section that was right across from it.

He decided to try calling you and see if you were willing to meet up with him. But he watched you silence your phone and toss it in your handbag.

Steve felt like he deserved it for ignoring you for the last few weeks, but you were usually so soft and were willing to put it behind you.

It wasn’t until he got caught in traffic that his own thoughts caught up with him.

One part of him tried to justify that the jeans just did not fit the way you wanted and needed to return them. And you were buying baby clothes for a friend or family member who happened to be pregnant.

The other part of him came to the conclusion that you returned jeans, you were shopping for baby clothes, you were pregnant. You returned jeans because they wouldn’t fit once your stomach got bigger. And baby clothes to fit the kid you were expecting. He thought about possible people who could have been the father, and the only thing clicking with him is the man from the one night stand was the father of your kid. And he didn’t want anyone knowing you were expecting, especially under such circumstances so which was probably why you were ignoring him.

Even though the two of you were not on talking terms, he would expect you talking to him about expecting a kid. Even if it wasn’t him as the dad.

★。＼｜／。★

You continued to be dry towards Steve and essentially fake your own death. Which resulted in him being more concerned about you and your baby’s health and well being, which also resulted in him seeing you purchase bottles, pacifiers, toys, and other necessities.

You were planning gender reveal makeup looks with Hope and Cassie while Scott was out for work.

“We could do the lids a pink, and smoke out the bottom with a blue, or vice versa?” You threw out a suggestion.

“One eye pink, the other blue!” Cassie exclaimed.

“Or that,” you laughed.

You, Hope and Cassie continued to throw random ideas into the air and you wrote down the one that seems the most ideal. You heard the door jingle open, and Scott appeared in his uniform.

Scott ended up joining the debate before whisking Cassie off to shower her and put her to bed.

Tossing your notebook into your bag, you knew this was gonna take several eyeshadow adventures before you nailed the one Hope would like and want.

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask, is there any man in your life nowadays?” Scott asked, as you were slipping on your shoes.

“The only man I want is gone,” you said, steading yourself after putting on your shoes.

“Call me when you get home?” Hope asked.

“Of course,” the two of you hugged before you bidded your goodbyes and went home for the night.

★。＼｜／。★

You were able to only go into the office for the afternoon as the majority of your client meetings had happened over Skype due to scheduling conflicts. As you were exiting work, you were ready to collapse into a warm bath and order some takeout.

Once you got out of the shower you heard a knock on the door. You were confused as to who it could be because you didn’t place your takeout order yet. Upon opening the door, a large muscular figure pushed past you, “Yes, come on in,” you muttered.

“I understand that you probably don’t want to see me, but I want to let you know that I would do anything for your baby, especially since the dad isn’t in the equation,” Steve rambled.

You went through a series of confusion, which was evident on your face, “Pardon?”

“I know you’re buying baby clothes and other things, and you probably don’t want anyone else knowing you're pregnant given the circumstances,” Steve said, pushing a bag filled with baby clothes and diapers towards you.

“I am not pregnant?” You said, still shocked and confused.

“I won’t tell anyone that you’re pregnant, I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he said, reaching out to grab your hand.

“I am not pregnant. Please for the love of god, if you do not believe me, go buy a pregnancy test.” You suggested.

You didn’t anticipate him actually listening to you and leaving to buy a pregnancy test. While he stepped out, you went to the kettle and filled it with hot water. You were lost in thought as to how he thought you were pregnant and got here. The sound of the kettle whistling pulled you from your thoughts, pouring a cup of tea into a cup for you and Steve.

Steve came back with the test, and you silently took it from his hands before disappearing down the hall and into your own washroom.

Coming back after three minutes, you threw the negative pregnancy test at him. “Happy?”

“So you aren’t…” He trailed off.

“I never was,” you bluntly stated.

“What about that one night stand?” He asked.

You nearly choked on your tea, “What one night stand?”

“That one night when we were swatching makeup here,” he said, crossing his arms.

You stared at him with confusion until you connected the dots, “I was joking about that!”

“What?” Steve now laced with confusion.

“I didn’t go out that night. I bailed because I was exhausted. I came home and knocked out,” you explained.

“Oh. Wait, what about the hickey?”

“What hickey?” You asked, even more confused now.

“You had this big purple spot on your neck when I was over,” he fired back.

It clicked with you what he was talking about, “You mean the curling iron burn?”

“Curling iron burn?”

“Yeah, I was curling my hair and I accidentally burned my neck,” you responded.

“Oh.”

“Wait. You thought I was having a kid?” You asked.

“Well you kept ignoring me and I thought you were embarrassed about the entire thing. Then I saw you returning jeans at the mall, and you were shopping for baby clothes so I thought…” He trailed off.

“You kept bailing on me, and I saw you with that random blonde chick that one time so I thought you had a girlfriend and didn’t want to hang out with me anymore.” You stated.

“You had a one night stand, which solidified that you didn’t have feelings for me so then I started-” It wasn’t until the words left his mouth he realized what he said.

“You like me?” You said, shocked.

“Yeah but you don’t like me back.” He stated, which resulted in you punching him in the shoulder.

“You are an absolute fucking idiot. I like you too, stupid.” You said, cracking a grin at him.

“Wh-” He didn’t even finish his sentence because he was confused.

“Why do you think I ignored you? I thought you dropped me for some other girl,” you said.

Having the words click with Steve, he pulled you into his arms, “God, we are horrible at communication.”

You wrapped your arms around him, “How about we get takeout and establish our relationship?”

“Of course,” he said, leaning in to kiss you.

You closed the gap and connected your lips to his, moving in complete harmony. The both of you pulled away when you both needed air. But the moment he pulled away, he planted kisses all over your face. Which resulted in giggles erupting from you.

“I hope you have a gift receipt for that,” you said, notioning to the bag filled with baby clothes and other necessities.

He buried his face into your hair and let out a groan, “Don’t remind me.”

[a-lil-perspective]

I don’t want to be that person—

But I really need to get this off my chest. This is the culmination of two months buildup of thoughts that have been screaming far too loud for me to continue simply taking in stride. I can’t do it. I apologize in advance, for anyone who actually reads this, if this is a deterrent to you about my character or my minuscule space taken up here on Tumblr. Again, I really can no longer remain silent. If it’s any solace:

I tried.

Where to begin. First off—as much as I’d love for this to be an update on the next chapter of Remember Me, it is not. For those of you who’ve kept up with the story, I’m sure you’ve noticed my uploading pattern these past few weeks has been reduced to solely weekends—and barely that, might I add. While I will try to have Chapter 9 up within the next few days, I cannot guarantee when. At this point in time, it’s not a lack of creative streak, it’s a lack of time. I have all these outlines and segments in my head but can’t seem to even catch a breath much less put the story down in my notes or in Word for later edit and upload. But I’m trying. I really am. As I’ve said before: I will finish this story, come hell or high water. But currently being engulfed in the former has been a huge burden.

Per my past psa’s: My health? Two giant thumbs down (nothing to do with COVID-19). Personal aspects? Two giant thumbs down. Both are and have been slowly corroding me. To avoid this post seemingly grabbing for sympathy, I’m going to just stop there with that. But I’m truly suffocating in this corner.

Next point in case: I’m going to be completely candid here. It’s extremely difficult and utterly exhausting to continue posting fics. Mentally and Emotionally. The pressure to post. The pressure to post because if you don’t in a timely manner, you lose your momentum and “fall behind” when you post again. Then you’re right back to square one thereafter because people have grown absent in your absence. It’s exhausting and stressful to spin in that wheel.

It’s difficult when you pour every drop of energy into a work, only for it to sit largely unnoticed on your blog. To stay up literally all night making sure your punctuation is impeccable, re-reading the same fic over and over before you post until your brain explodes and you utterly forsake the fic the minute you hit that post button. To take up space on a post tagging and adding those notes and engaging flares that go unrequited. It’s... well, it’s detrimental. It gets you down. It gets me down. I’m not going to lie about that. We all want validation and I will be the first to shoot my hand up in acknowledgement.

I’m going to stop right there as you’re reading to clarify: This is not a call-out post. This is not a guilt post. This is not me giving an ultimatum. This is not me demanding reblogs. This is not me telling you “your likes don’t matter” (I have literally seen that on posts and it kind of disgusts me. That’s all I’m going to say about that for now).

Reblogs, while unanimously appreciated, are not a priority to me. Comments and feedback and communication are invaluable to me. That’s it. That coveted and intimate interaction between the Writer and the Reader. One is not more important than the other. We’re a team, a unit, a force that balances each other on a broad, diverse scale.

I don’t ask for much—I don’t ask for anything here, actually (unless it’s directed towards the general audience over what y’all would like to see, which largely goes unengaged whenever I bring up). No, I don’t post fics that frequently. No, I don’t crank them out as quick. No, I don’t have that many. Yes, I’m new to fanfic writing. But I work quietly and solely with all my own plots and dialogues and ideas (I love prompts and requests, though). Thus my usually hefty works. Y’all get the whole nine yards. But I don’t feel like I really get to bounce my ideas around to others, which can further exacerbate that sense of isolation for me around here. I put myself through a really long process for every single thing I write because, the quality of my work matters to me. A lot. So I try to take my time to deliver that. And... I guess I just hope you know that or can discern that as you read each time.

Another astronomically exhausting aspect is this platform itself. It’s painfully evident to me, in my four meager months here, that Tumblr is just one big popularity contest. Who can upload the most, the fastest, the most efficiently. Who has the most followers. Who accumulates them the quickest. A place where your “exposure” is literally at the mercy of others. And when people purposely don’t want to aid in that, it spirals into this really toxic mindset causing friction between Writers and other Writers, causing unnecessary strain, avoidance, insecurities, and hinderances to YOUR precious work. And I’m not about that. It’s a no from me.

Also, I’ve just got to interject with this bit: Bad Batch Writers. Bad Batch Writers struggle. In my opinion, from what I’ve seen, it’s like if you aren’t writing for a popular Clone like Wolffe or Fives or Jesse, you don’t get traffic. Which I think is just... kind of corny. Okay. I think it’s really corny and ridiculous. Please know that I’m not saying anything bad about those Clone babies, the people who write them, or anything like that. Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m just making a point. Bad Batch does NOT get enough love. And the Writers ultimately suffer because of it. That’s all there.

We’re all supposed to be in this together. Your work—your writing—is neither good nor bad. There’s no such thing. There’s only YOUR writing; your unique, beautiful words that I LOVE more than anything, that only YOU speak. We all speak a different dialect and flow through our storytelling. And it’s a beautiful, wholesome thing. It always has been. It should never be this detrimental stage Tumblr has made for content creators. Let’s be honest: Tumblr is not the ideal place to thrive. And I’m just... sick of it.

I’m beyond an exhausted state. I can’t remember that last time I wasn’t. (I know everyone is, with the ebb and flow of our world’s daily uncertainties during these unprecedented times). But for me, personally, it’s getting increasingly harder to keep up with the reblogs and comments and blogs of all the stories I love, while updating my work and trying to interact on my blog, while battling my health and nonexistent energy, and constantly be exposed to the “Tumblr Tumbles”, as I call it—the overbearing popularity and the waiting and the wondering and the silent seething because of it. It’s just too much. And it doesn’t take a detective to pick up on that attitudinal shift around here. It’s all just one big, pernicious cycle. And seeing that here nearly every day, exhausts me. I don’t know how else to convey as much. But I just can’t do it. And honestly, I get this overwhelming loneliness just being here.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I’m going to continue doing my thing until my engine sputters out. I’m going to keep up with storytelling, because I love it more than anything. I just needed to get this off my chest. I’m just rambling. I might delete this but, I might not. Who knows.

I just... Geez. I need to know that I’m not just shouting into the void over here like always.

Communication to me is key. If you don’t want me to tag you anymore: tell me. If you don’t want me to message you: tell me. Please. Just don’t like me? Cool. Tell me. It’s better to know and communicate than to walk on eggshells around everyone and everything. I’ve applied that flawed strategy throughout my whole life and I strongly dislike doing so. It adds no benefit to either party. Just be honest with yourself and others. That’s always super important.

For those of you, my handful of regulars who are around... you know who you are. Thank you. My thanks is but a meager conveyance of my undying gratitude for you. But I want you to know how much I appreciate your presence here. Words cannot express.

@halzore... You are a real mate. You are an incredible being who is not only insightful but, a true muse here. I look to you as more than just a devoted Reader of mine, and you should know that I would NOT have gotten this far with my Bad Batch Post Order: 66 series—or any of my Bad Batch works, for that matter—without your encouraging words. Holy cow. You’re a dearest friend. Your writing, art, and musical talent leaves me in awe. (A truly brilliant mind, please go love her y’all). Thank you for seeing all the good, little things in me and my work. It makes this all worth it. You make it all worth it. I get really overwhelmed thinking about it. But I just want you to know I appreciate you so much.

To anyone who’s ever left me kind, encouraging, and wonderful comments... I remember them. I do. I think of them when I’m down, and I think of them now as I write this—which is in my dispirited state, ironically. But I appreciate it. I think it is so SO important to lift each other up with words. You don’t have to reblog and all that (only speaking for myself here). Just take a moment to say something kind to someone. It makes someone’s entire day, week, month, year. Please... love other Writers. Love yourself. We all struggle. But let’s do it together. Let’s be there for each other.

Come talk to me. I don’t bite, I promise. Tell me about your day. Tell me something about yourself. I care. I love that interaction, because you are MORE than just a Reader to me. You are a valued human being with feelings, desires, wants, needs... come share that with me. If there’s something you’d like to see in my future works, something that would engage you more; please, come tell me.

I’m going to try and get better. At writing, at navigating this strange place, with my health, with life. I’ve been at my breaking point for so long that my barely held together pieces and exposed, worn chinks are almost uneffected and unresponsive to any help or healing. But I’m going to try.

Thank you for being here. I’m sure it can be hard to have patience with me and my nonexistent uploading schedule, but, I do have several wips in the works (teases in my masterlist in case you’re wondering). They’ll come around. :’)

Keep your head up and shining, lovelies. And I’ll try to do the same.

[giorgiatempestafumagalliblog]

𝓐𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓻𝔂𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓫𝓪𝓵𝓵 🔮

Hello everyone! For some years I started divination with the crystal ball, I wanted to share with you what I learned! Prepare yourself that it will be a bit long (there are many things to say) but I hope you will find it interesting. Prepare a tea, get in your favorite armchair and let's start! 🍵

⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️ The crystal ball is not a game to spend an alternative evening with friends. It is a lens through which you will see the deepest part of your intimate or that of another person, just for this prepare yourself psychologically. You may see things you may not want to see. Avoid using the sphere if you are easily emotional.

🔮 𝓗𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓑𝓪𝓵𝓵 The art of reading the crystal ball is called Clairvoyance (= being able to see something hidden). This form of divination is the evolution of other divination methods, first of all Lecanomancy which consists in observing a liquid (usually water or oil) in a black basin. This practice is already in use among the Babylonians and the ancient Greeks. In this way, physical sight is lost in indefinite forms that are interpreted by fortune tellers. The use of the crystal ball, on the other hand, is relatively recent. The first information dates back to the early Middle Ages. But to have tangible proof of the use of the sphere, we must wait for November 21, 1582, the day on which John Dee (mathematician, geographer, astronomer, astrologer, alchemist and necromancer) claimed to have received the crystal ball from an angel. The object in question was a 5 cm diameter beryl sphere now preserved in the British Museum.

🔮 𝓢𝓬𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓲𝓬 𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 Meanwhile, let's begin to understand the assumptions on which the crystal ball is based. We assume that what surrounds us undergoes two important variations: the first inside our eye, the second inside our mind. To reach the word clairvoyance which means precisely being able to see what is hidden, a conscious vision must be replaced with an unconscious vision and this occurs thanks to the alteration of the physical and actual vision and it is not our natural process. For example, if you stare at an object without blinking after a while due to the effect of color saturation, you will start to see a kind of aura emerging from the edges of the figure. Magic? No simply optical effect, the real magic begins when thanks to this altered state of physical vision you can make energies that come from the deep unconscious flow. There is an exact point where conscious and unconscious come together or when our mind joins the 7 cycles per second called precisely alpha state. A very low speed of thought, just think that during a conversation our mind oscillates between 21 and 12 cycles per second. The real basic problem is that the conscious is expressed through verbalized concepts and with words, the unconscious is expressed through images.

🔮  𝓒𝓻𝔂𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓑𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓣𝓲𝓹𝓼 1. A crystal ball of at least 5 cm is recommended, not so much because it influences the quality of the reading, I am sure that those who are practical can read safely in a marble, but for convenience. 2. Only the clairvoyant must touch the sphere since it becomes in any case our very intimate object. 3. Possibly keep it covered with a black cloth when not in use, or any case not dry in the sun, this rule is mainly not to ruin it. 4. Using a ritual before and after use, I recommend performing a protective ritual before using it, which can also be simply creating a circle with salt (preferably black) and a purification ritual after use, not it must be something very long, just use the white sage smoke. The important thing is that it is always the same ritual. 5. When you decide to start reading, put yourself in as dark a space as possible and put a black cloth at the base of the sphere, perhaps the one you use to cover it so as not to create reflections in the sphere. 6. As a source of light (because you will have to see something) put a candle maybe behind you. 7. Wash the crystal ball, many say they do it under running water, I try to do it as little as possible to make it charge pretty well.

🔮𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓸 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓻𝔂𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓫𝓪𝓵𝓵  Now let's move on to how the magic sphere is used. After having done your protection ritual, sit in front of your sphere, possibly positioned on a table, more or less at the same height where you put the plate to eat. Observe it intensely without blinking until you see beams of light coming out of it. Close your eyes and try to enter the alpha state, that is the point where the mind empties at 7 cycles per second and imagine diving into the sphere, while doing so, slowly open your eyes. There are mainly two ways to read the sphere: stand in front of it and let the images flow, which I recommend if you are looking for something inside yourself. Or interrogate her, keep in mind that the sphere still answers through images, so don't ask too specific questions, for that use the pendulum or the ouija board, and not even too general, for those there are tarot cards. An example question may be: the birth of the child, the description of the new job, we could see mourning or how a distant person is, or even where there is something we have lost. Having asked the question, we must wait for the answer, the first few times you use it, it will probably not show up because your thoughts tend not to believe what you are doing. You will understand that the answer is forming when you see what many call the fog, after which you start to see images that are often symbols, flowers, animals, alchemical symbols and so on. At first they are only flashes, then with practice the visions will last longer. The biggest mistake is to force the response and therefore instead of seeing an image you create it, this usually happens when you ask for something whose answer you don't want to see. If you want to start this practice, I recommend you keep a notebook in which you write down what you see.

Well guys, that's all, of course there are many different methods and traditions on the use of the crystal ball. This is what I learned. Hope you enjoyed this article. If you found it interesting, check out my tumblr profile or my instagram profile. Thanks  ❤️

[1-1snailxd-art]

The Perfect Ring

Summary: Sanders Sides oneshot inspired by this post. Virgil makes the perfect ring for Logan, and now he just needs to pull off the perfect proposal.

Genre: Alternate Universe

Rating: PG

Pairing: Analogical (with a hint of Royality)

Warnings: Mild anxiety, Cursing, implied bullying (nothing detailed)

@fander-pride-meetup Week 1: Relationships

Art is by me as well 💜🐌

Ao3 Link

*************

"Roman helped me with the design, I made the digital model and then worked with a couple of different professionals to actually make it"

 Virgil's voice sounded far away and Patton couldn't pry his eyes off the ring in his hands; still unable to believe his eyes as he shifted the ring so it resembled an astronomical sphere. The metal was covered in intricately designed carvings on the outer ring, while the inner rings had numbers and letters that he wasn't quite able to make out through his watery eyes.

 "What does it say?" Patton sniffed, handing the ring back to Virgil before reaching for the tissue Roman was offering him.

"It's nothing that important," Virgil shrugged as he carefully placed the ring back in its case. "They just represent places and dates."

"Don't act so modest," Roman whined and placed his arm around Patton and gestured grandly. "This emo in disguise made a whole code to record the time and date of firsts. We're talking first date, first hug, first kiss, first cuddle party."

Roman winked at Virgil as the young man shot him an annoyed look. Patton giggled and wiped away fresh tears; filled with pride at the effort Virgil had put into the ring.

"I'm absolutely positive that Logan will love it." Patton detangled himself from Roman and pulled out his phone to check his calendar. "So, when are you going to ask him? I need to make sure I'm not working so we can mee-"

"I'm not doing it publicly."

Patton's heart dropped slightly and Virgil shoved his hands deep into his jacket pockets as he saw the hurt enter his friends eyes.

"It's nothing personal, Pat. But..." Virgil took a deep breath before looking back up to meet Patton's baby blue eyes. "You know how Logan feels about public displays of affection and, lets be honest, I do not like drawing attention to myself."

"Don't worry, Patty-Bear," Roman grabbed Patton's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I helped Virgil plan this whole thing out. Picture it," Roman gestured wildly as his hands painted an imaginary image in the space in front of him. "Discovery channel playing on the TV; the two lovers have just finished Virgil's special Pasta Surprise; a batch of your Crofter's muffins, that we just dropped off, are warming in the oven. Then, Virgil CLIMBS onto the table and professes his love for the Book Worm..."

"Roman, no. Stop." Virgil's pleas were drowned out as his dramatic friend got increasingly louder and Patton giggled.

"... Virgil presents him with the ring of a life time and OF COURSE Logan has no other option but to accept. The black eyed romantic leaps off the table, with a spectacular super hero landing, and opens his arms to his lover who leaps into them..."

"Size difference makes that impossible." Virgil had his arms folded, suppressing a smile as Roman scooped Patton into his arms.

"... The victorious Prince of Nightmares carries his fiancé to their room, where they engage in intense s-"

"ROMAN!" Patton's voice and sudden stern look, silences Roman in his tracks. "Now, you know how Virgil feels about that talk."

Virgil shifted uncomfortably on his feet; reminded that his and Logan's views on romance and love were different to the general worlds view.

Roman made an offended noise and carefully set Patton back on his feet. "I am offended that you would judge me so. I was going to say snuggling, obviously." Roman pouted, folding his arms to emulate Virgil's own stance. "I'm not that insensitive. I understand my friends sexuality. You shredded my heart with that remark."

 Virgil sighed loudly and moved to put his arms around his two friends, shaking his head.

"I have no idea why I keep you two around."

"Because you love us," Patton teased and gave Virgil a quick peck on the cheek, causing them both to blush.

"Ok, ok, that will do." Roman moved to drape his arms over Patton's shoulders and pulled him away jokingly from Virgil. "You've already go your man. Stop pulling mine to the dark side."

"What can I say, Princey," Virgil smiled and winked at Patton, "I'm just irresistible."

 Patton lent heavily against Roman, pretending to faint. "Hurry, Ro! Take me away from here. His powers are too great for me to resist."

Scooping him up with ease, Roman carried Patton towards the door of the apartment.

"Fear not, my love. I shall save you." Looking over his shoulder Roman gave Virgil an encouraging smile. "Farewell, Sir Virgil. Until we meet again."

Patton blew Virgil a kiss before snuggling back into Roman's hold as the two left. As soon as the door was shut, Virgil set to work arranging the apartment and preparing for Logan's arrival.

 **************

 "Why didn't you tell me about Virgil's plans sooner?" Patton questioned, as the two drove back to their own place on the other side of town.

"Because we knew you wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. I love you, but you have no poker face what-so-ever."

Glancing briefly away from the road, Roman watched Patton open his mouth to argue before closing it and pouting. He knew the other too well, and neither could deny that there was no way in the world Patton would have survived the 6 months of planning. His heart was made of gold, but he couldn't keep a secret no matter how hard he tried.

 **************

 The scent of Virgil's Pasta Surprise greeted Logan as he entered the apartment and the weight of his day of work melted away. Coming down the small hall, their dinning table was all set for dinner and an animal documentary was playing on the TV. Virgil was no where in sight.

"Virge! I'm home!"

When no reply came, Logan placed his bag in the cupboard under the stairs and stepped into the kitchen to give dinner a quick stir on the stove. The low simmer was keeping the meal warm without signs of burning, but it was unlike Virgil to leave the kitchen unattended. There were so many potential dangers to leaving any kitchen appliance unsupervised, and as a result Virgil was generally very vigilant about keeping the kitchen under watch. 

"Virgil?" Logan called out again, a pang of worry in his stomach.

Working to remain calm, Logan ascended the stairs and scanned the study and bathroom before entering their bedroom. The house was utterly spotless; not a single item was out of place.

"Clearly Virgil spent his afternoon cleaning. So what could have possibly happened to him?"

 Logan froze as he heard a slight whimper. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sound, as he slowly moved over to the wardrobe door. Past experience had proved it to be a space Virgil retreated to when he was anxious about something. Logan quietly removed his jacket and shoes before opening the door; dropping down to crawl beneath the waterfall of hanging clothing and sitting next to his partner.

Virgil’s hoodie was pulled over his head, which rested on his curled up knees. Some would say it was a very childlike position, but for Virgil it was how he was most comfortable. No words were exchanged as Logan got comfortable; sitting close enough for Virgil to sense him without establishing physical contact. Reaching behind a small shoe rack, Logan produced a box of tissues and set it next to him before leaning back and waiting for Virgil to make his move.

By Logan's count, it was only 20 seconds before the black figure moved and lent against his shoulder. He handed Virgil a tissue and waited patiently, listening to the steadying breaths of the person he loved.

"Work or other?" Logan whispered as he gently encouraged Virgil to lay on his lap.

"Other." Virgil's voice was strained from crying; clearly he had been upset for a while.

"In your control or outside of it?" Pushing the hood back, Logan began fidgeting with Virgil's hair and kept his eyes straight ahead to avoid causing him further anxiety.

"A bit of both."

"Does it have anything to do with why the house is so clean?"

Virgil nodded and squeezed his eyes shut tight, begging the tears to stop. This wasn't what he and Roman had planned. Having a breakdown in the wardrobe was not on the list of romantic things to do that night.

 "Dinner smelt lovely when I got in the door." Virgil stiffened as Logan spoke; he had completely forgotten about the food on the stove. "No harm done. As per usual, you set it at the perfect temperature to avoid any burning."

Sitting up, Virgil grabbed a fresh tissue to wipe his eyes; giving Logan the full view of his glittery, black  streaked face. It became obvious that Virgil had planned something special for the night. He only ever pulled out the glittery, black eyeshadow for special occasions. Logan started compiling a mental list of possible announcements - a promotion at his work; an apprenticeship at the tech-company he had been trying to get into; perhaps he finally tracked down his missing Mother.

 "I should really go and finish dinner. I should never have left it alone." As Virgil stood, Logan reached up and grabbed his hand; anchoring him inside the wardrobe while he got to his feet.

"Dinner can wait, but I can not."

Logan dropped his hand and Virgil looked at him in confusion, "You can not wait for what?"

"For you to tell me what is going on." Virgil looked at the ground and whispered, "I can't. Not now. It ... It wasn't meant to be like this."

"Let me guess," Logan pulled Virgil into an embrace, and the other locked his arms tightly around Logan's middle as they slowly swayed to imaginary music. "You made a big plan to tell me something. Roman obviously had some kind of hand in it. You had the perfect vision for how the evening would go." Virgil nodded, his head leaning against his shoulder. "But something didn't quite work. You forgot an element and it seemed the whole night was going to be a disaster."

"It's like you can read my mind."

"Not at all. It is almost like I love you so much, that I have learnt exactly how your mind works." Virgil looked up at Logan to make a self-deprecating comment, but Logan continued; silencing the thought. "I love you so much, that I have learnt to read you like a book. I know what you love. I know what you hate. I know what makes you happy and what keeps you up at night. I love every part of you. The part that smiles. The part worries about how everyone else is feeling. I even love the part of you that wants to hide in a wardrobe. I wouldn't be here if I didn't love every part of you. So, trust me when I say, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Virgil knew he was breathing, but he swore every organ in his body shut down. His heart swelled as he looked into Logan's brown eyes. They never faltered. He didn't look cross, upset or annoyed. He saw no pity or regret in them. The only emotions Virgil could find were love, admiration and caring. Logan never judged him. Never tired of pulling him out of his dark places. How was it even possible? The confident scientist and teacher, and the anxious wannabe. How were they even together?

 "So, are you ready to tell me?"

The quiet and comforting voice pulled Virgil back to the present. He never took his eyes off Logan as he reached into his jacket pocket, fingers silently prying open the box containing the ring.

"This wasn't how I planned to do this?"

"Perhaps a better way of seeing it, is that this is your way and the other way was Roman's."

Virgil laughed, "Actually, Roman's way was way more uncomfortable."

Logan's mind raced, still tossing up what Virgil was so anxious about telling him. He decided that the most logical option was to do with his family, which is why Virgil's next action left him stunned.

 "6 months ago we were laying in bed and you pulled me into your arms and said you would one day buy me a star. When I asked why, you said it was the only thing you could think of that would prove just how much you loved me. Honestly, I hated the idea. Not because I didn't appreciate the sentiment, partially because I didn't think I deserved it, but also because I thought I wouldn't be able to top that level of dedication."

Virgil pulled the metal sphere out of his pocket and looked down at it with a smile.

"Turns out, I think I can top a star. I want to give you the whole universe, Logan. Right in your hand." Virgil looked up and watched Logan's eyes widen as his fingers shifted the sphere into a flat ring. "Logan Berrin, will you marry me?"

 Jokes had always been made that Logan had no emotion. He use to joke about it himself. It was all a defence mechanism of course; school had been rather unkind to him prior to meeting Patton and Roman. He never would have expected that the person to crack his emotional walls would be Virgil. Quiet and reserved, Virgil. Accepting and trustworthy, Virgil. The black eyed boy who had served coffee in the old library. Virgil Sanders.

 Virgil anxiously fidgeted the ring back into a sphere, head slowly dropping as the silence extended. Then he saw it. The tears welling in Logan's eyes and the emotion rolling over his face as if someone had just hit play on his emotions.

Snapping the sphere back into a ring, Virgil held it out to Logan.

"So, Lo, will you marry me?"

"There is no fucking way I would ever say no."

 The kiss that followed was nothing like either of them had experienced before. Tears of joy streaked their faces, and eventually they separated long enough for Virgil to slip the ring onto Logan's finger before embracing again. They would have stayed in the wardrobe longer, had it not been for Virgil's stomach grumbling. Logan couldn't help but laugh as Virgil blushed and apologised for spoiling the moment.

"Well it's a good thing my fiancé already cooked dinner." Logan held his hand out to Virgil, "Care to join me downstairs?"

"Absolutely."

_____________________

What else have I done:

You Promised (oneshot - prinxiety angst/injury/near death) 

Sides of a Hero (Completed Fic - sides are fusions of impulses and aspects of Thomas. Virgil has a depressing past that he is forced to face thanks to Deceit and Rage. Was canon compliant at the time of completion)

Libraries are for Meetings (ongoing WIP - Human/University au with Royality and developing Analogical. Slow burn and heavily focused on a grieving group of friends that Virgil slowly becomes a part of to better himself.)

The Shield to your Sword (WIP - A fantasy/magic au - Prinxiety (Royal Roman and orphan Virgil - they’ll admit to their love eventually), Virgil angst, non binary, healer Logan, *spoiler* Patton) 

Check out my other blog for random fandom reblogs and stuff @snail-giggles​

[domestibri]

Sweet Bod

@yourlocalmusicalprostitute

Of course I can love!! I went a little overboard with this..

pairing: Brian May x reader

word count: 857

warnings: light swearing

Brian shut the book that he was reading, turning to you instead.

“How’re the calculations going, Mr. Science?” you asked, giving him a cheeky smile.

You were both originally in the library to study together, but got distracted by each other’s company, as per usual. You met through Roger earlier this year, him insisting that you’d be the absolute cutest couple. And the only problem with that happening was that Brian was way too shy to ask you out and you weren’t entirely sure how he felt about you. You weren’t ashamed to admit the crush that you hid from the curly haired astronomer. And sure, you’ve dated guys in the past but Brian felt… special. You were scared you’d ruin what you two had if you confessed.

“You bloody know how it’s going, Y/N” he replied, hunching forward in defeat. Though he was stressed, he couldn’t help but smile back at you. He felt the familiar blush that creeped along his face when he was with you dance over his pale skin.

You placed a hand reassuringly on his back and soothed it down his spine. “We could always take a break.”

He hummed in appreciation but he knew he couldn’t. “No,” he whined. “the big test is in a few days and we really need to study. Especially you!” He placed the tip of his calloused finger onto your cold nose. You chuckled at this, and with that chuckle, Brian felt himself fall even deeper for you.

“Well,” you leaned back in your chair and stretched, “it’s not healthy to study for hours on end. Breaks are important, y’know.”

Brian thought for a minute, and realized that he couldn’t argue. He stood up and reached his hand out to you. “Then let’s do something.” You grinned at that and took his hand, letting him lead you out of the library.

After a few minutes of walking, he led you to a small coffee shop a little while down the road. You’d never been there, but he obviously had, considering how excited he got when telling you his favorite things about the place. He told you about how the smell of the coffee and tea would calm him when he’s feeling stressed about school or any band related issues and how the workers knew his regular order by how often he came in there. Brian didn’t even like coffee. His regular was a peppermint tea and a small scone, which is, you noted, very Brian.

You sat at the long counter while waiting for Brian to get your orders, which faced out to the street so you could watch the people walk on the sidewalk and the cars go by. The lively shop was a complete opposite compared to the dull and quiet library.

“Ok! Two peppermint teas, one chocolate cookie, and my boring scone.” Brian slid you the tea and cookie as he sat down beside you. You thanked him and took a sip of the tea.

“Good, right?” he asked happily. You nodded. Though it was hot, you couldn’t stop drinking the tea. He watched you, infatuated by your mannerisms and how nice you looked in this moment. You set the tea down to take a quick bite of the cookie and he giggled. You looked at him, and gave him a little laugh back. “What?” you asked, a few crumbs falling out of your smiling mouth.

“The cookie is very… you.” he explained. “Oh? How so?” you set the cookie down to face him properly, swallowing what was already in your mouth. “Because you’re just so sweet.”

You blushed at that, not really knowing how to respond. When he realized what he had said, he blushed as well, profusely apologizing. “S-sorry about that. Bloody hell, why did I say that?” You laughed a little “You’re really pulling out all the stops on this date, huh?”

He paused. Date? This wasn’t a date. Was it?? “This is a… date..?”

“Well I just kind of assumed..” now it was your turn to apologize. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I totally misread this, I thought you were… we… I’m sorry-” he cut you off by grabbing your hand softly. “Don’t apologize! It can be! I mean, if you want it to..”

You smiled at him. “I think I’d like that. If you do of course.” Brian smiled back. “Yeah! Of course! Y/N, I think I really really like you… God why am I telling you this?”

“Brian, I really like you too. And I don’t know why we’re telling each other this, but I’m so happy that we are.” you couldn’t be happier.

“Sooo, can I ask you for a date? A real one this time, I mean.” Brian stroked his thumb across your hand as he talked, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed. “Of course, you ass! I’ve only been waiting for you to ask for like half a year! Also, Roger will finally stop bothering us about this, right?”

“I suppose so, sweets.” Brian chuckled at what you said, and with that chuckle, you felt yourself fall even deeper for him.

[youthful4ever]

10 Financial Principles That Are Biblical

by George Fooshee

Some people mash cans, crunch bottles or shred newspapers and magazines to further the cause of modern ecology. As owner and manager of a collection agency for 17 years, I believe in preserving the nation's natural and human resources too-particularly from a personal finance perspective.

There are ten financial principles found in God's Word to counsel and to help "recycle" many people, especially Christians, who have been all but mashed, crunched or shredded by the miseries of indebtedness and poor money management.

To put it plainly, I've seen firsthand the full spectrum of financial woes that can hopelessly trap people in a society victimized by the credit-card, "buy-now-pay-later" syndrome.

As a bill collector, my business is to try to collect accounts that creditors have been unsuccessful in collecting. Daily, I see people in deep financial trouble. Thousands in this country have got themselves into financial messes that can lead to more serious consequences.

For years all of my personal financial counseling ended in failure. Then I discovered God's mighty Word and His ten financial principles. Financial counseling became a matter of revealing these principles and allowing financially troubled persons to choose whether to obey them or not. These principles reveal God's instructions to His children for conducting their financial affairs.

I believe that one of the major themes of the Bible is obedience to the Lord. These financial principles are real, and obedience to them demonstrates that Christians are trusting God in another area of their lives.

God is Source

The first principle is that God is the source of everything. Philippians 4:19 says, "My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Proverbs 8:20,21 adds, "I lead in the way of righteousness, in the midst of the paths of judgment: that I may cause those that love me to inherit substance; and I will fill their treasures."

And 2 Corinthians 9:8 says: "And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work." Whenever we need money or possessions, prayer is the answer. Look to the Lord, because He will provide it-according to His will.

Giving Essential

The second principle is that of giving. Luke 6:38, a key verse, says, "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give unto your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." According to Deuteronomy 14:23, one purpose of tithing was to teach the people of Israel to put God first in their lives.

I find there are a couple of ways I can put God first daily. One is to have a quiet time. If I am unwilling to meet the Lord each morning when I get up, that means I'm putting somebody else or something else before the Lord.

For example, how many people have thought seriously about not taking the daily newspaper? The man who is unwilling to cancel a newspaper subscription, which is keeping him from reading the Word of God, may often be the same man who is having trouble making the payments on the TV set that is keeping him from doing the things that would help him grow closer to the Lord. So it can be a vicious cycle. And with TV commercials by the dozens exhorting him to buy, spend, charge and go, is it any wonder that thousands of people are so molded by the world?

Having a quiet time is one way a person can put God first. I believe another is to commit a tenth of his income-right off the top-to the Lord's work. Proverbs 3:9, reads: "Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: so shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst with new wine."

Live On Margin

The third principle is that of living on a margin. Everyone ought to live on a margin-a physical margin, a spiritual margin, a time margin and a financial margin. Living on a margin simply means allowing room for things to happen.

There are really only three ways a person can arrive anyplace. He can arrive early, on time or late. I used to aim at arriving right on time, and I consistently arrived five minutes late. That's because I allowed no margin.

Those precious minutes add up. Think of the cumulative effort, on health alone, of continually spending 15 minutes hurrying to be five minutes late. I swim three times a week at the YMCA to stay in shape, and I try to eat right and keep my weight down, since I want to serve the Lord and therefore don't want to die of a heart attack. But 15 minutes of hurrying three times each day for 15 years adds up to nearly six months of 24-hour days when I'm under unnecessary tension, just hurrying to be late. And tension is a leading cause of heart attacks. How ridiculous! But the Lord led me to operate on a time margin-planning to arrive early rather than hurrying to be late.

Bible Backs Saving

The fourth financial principle concerns saving money-setting something aside for a rainy day. Proverbs 21:20 says, "There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up." And Proverbs 22:3emphasizes, "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished."

For a simple example, if a couple with an income of $12,000 a year would save $1000 of it each of those years and let this money earn 6 percent interest, compounded annually, they would have $24,672.56 at the end of a 15-year period.

If at the end of 15 years of saving faithfully, a son or daughter is ready for college or the family needs to move into a bigger house or wants to serve the Lord on a full-time basis, the couple can start to withdraw their savings. They can withdraw $2000 a year for 10 years and still have $15,322.17, or slightly more than they set aside. Isn't this making your money work for you? God has a reason for the principle of saving money.

Keep Out of Debt

The fifth principle is to keep out of unnecessary debt and thus avoid the debt trap. Borrowing for a house or car is one thing but taking on financial obligations one can't keep-buying beyond the ability to pay-is another. Psalm 37:21 says "the wicked borroweth, and payeth not again." The minute a person goes into debt, he loses a portion of his freedom. As Proverbs 22:7 says, "The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender."

Suppose this same young couple with the $12,000 annual income had decided that instead of saving $1000 a year, they would go into debt for $1000 to buy some furniture. And suppose they continue to increase their indebtedness by $1000 during each of the 15 years, without paying back one cent. With 10 percent interest, compounded annually, on the increase in debt, the couple's debt would have been an astronomical $34,949.74. The debt on $1000 alone for that same period, without any repayment, would have been $4177.21.

Too many people think you can buy now and pay later. That isn't true. I've found that easy credit now makes people uneasy later. Usually a person pays more for the use of borrowed money than he gets in interest for saving it.

Secret of Contentment

The sixth principle is being content with what one has. Hebrews 13:5 puts it succinctly: "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

One area where people often first become discontent involves the old automobile. Too many persons trade or sell their cars before they are used up. There's a big difference between fixing up the old junk heap to drive three more years and buying a new car. Many salesmen make the slick remark, "You just make that easy monthly payment." There is seldom anything easy about that monthly payment. It seems to get harder to make all the time. Second Corinthians 6:10 is so beautiful to apply here. It reads: "As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things."

My friends in the automobile business tell me that most cars are good for more miles than most people put on them. Just because a car has over 100,000 miles doesn't mean a person has to get rid of it. Look at some of the buses, trucks and cars still going strong, especially in countries outside North America. They are cars of the same age and mileage that other people junked years ago.

A worthwhile saying to remember on contentment is this: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without."

Keep Records, Budget

The seventh principle is that of keeping records and making a budget. God's Word says, "Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding" (Prov. 23:23). "Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches" (24:3,4).

If someone were to tell me that he's going to run his business without keeping any records, I would say this is downright stupid. And it is even worse for one who really wants to be a good steward of the Lord's money.

I started my children on a three-category budget when they started school. Every week I distributed the allowance-$1.50-.50 cents each for depositing in separate calling card boxes designated "save," "church," "spend." The kids had a visual control system. If there was no money in there, they had no money to spend. Making a budget won't be that simple, but the idea is the same.

A man I know to whom I have given financial counsel thought he was doing great because he had to borrow only $300 in the last eight months. When I asked him how he managed to get along so well, he admitted he had sold his week of vacation for $500 and had some overtime pay.

I figured that the fellow was actually spending $175 per month more than he was making during the eight-month period, despite the one-time windfall of getting rid of his vacation and working overtime. A year from now, at his present rate of overspending, he would owe $2100 more, with interest adding to his debt totaling more than $30 each month.

By keeping good records, having a plan and being honest with oneself, a person won't get into financial trouble. I seldom see financially successful people who don't keep good records.

It's the same with my own business cars. I cut all my salesmen back 15 percent and made a little budget. The salesmen follow a monthly plan and know what the limit is. They are staying within the budget without a reduction in sales. It's just a matter of being more efficient with what one has.

Don't Cosign

The eighth principle is, don't cosign. God says in Proverbs 27:13 to exercise extreme caution in cosigning. The advice infers that the world's poorest credit risk is the man who agrees to pay a stranger's debt. When a person cosigns a note, he is the one who is really borrowing the money. The reason a person needs a cosigner is because the lender is unwilling to lend that money to the person requesting the loan.

Work Hard

The ninth principle is that of hard work. The Scriptures spell it out: "In all labour there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury [poverty]" (Prov. 14:23). "He that tilleth his land shall have plenty of bread: but he that followeth after vain persons shall have poverty enough" (28:19).

It is important to work. "In the beginning God created" (Gen. 1:1). Even God is at work. This is a principle throughout the Bible. Many times I find that people in financial trouble aren't really working hard. I have often discovered in counseling young men in real financial trouble that they are "tooling" around too much of the time and putting 2000 miles a month on the car. I advise them to take a second job. This increases their income and decreases their expenses and it keeps them from misusing or frittering away their time.

Seek Godly Counsel

The last principle is that of seeking godly counsel. Psalm 1:1 declares, "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly." A person needing financial advice should not go to someone who makes his living selling the very thing he's contemplating buying. "Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established" (Prov. 15:22).

Before buying a house, purchasing a car or just borrowing money, pray about it and seek the counsel of godly people. They can keep you from making a lot of mistakes. The reason so many persons don't seek counsel is that they don't want to be told by someone an intended action is unsound-they just like to do what they want anyway.

Above all, don't sign anything until you check the deal thoroughly first. Don't be hurried into any deal. The worst deal in the world is often the one in which a person is rushed into signing-capitulating to a relentless salesman's chance-of-a-lifetime-offer pressure tactics. The best offer in the world can wait.

These are the ten biblical financial principles: God is the source; give first; live on a margin; save money; keep out of debt; be content with what you have; keep records; don't cosign; work hard and seek godly counsel.

As one learns to follow these eternal principles in his personal finances, he will know the joy that comes from trusting and obeying God.

[thefluffywitchling]

Any good resources for getting into mounting/framing moths and butterflies? Any advice?

Youtube mostly! I watched a lot of the channel ‘insect safari’. Also google around for blogs. Like this or this (I really liked this one because it also links to how-to’s)

It’s not hard to do but it’s tricky in some aspects. Pinning them down is rather easy but the ‘skill’ is more in keeping the scales on the wings intact (which I personally still struggle with) and straightening out the antennae or heads (which I.. suck at astronomically). I do recommend taking your time, only do it when you feel zen. Any stress or distractions are going to make it harder.

The supplies My ‘kit’ was around 60 euros, if you were wondering how expensive it is too, but I did opt immediately for an adjustable spreading board which is needed for bigger specimen unless you buy separate boards for other sizes. You can also make your own with pieces of Styrofoam. Basically what you need: - Spreading board (9 to 20 euros) - Insect needles (4 euros, I have number 2′s but I’d also recommend having some number 3′s) - Spreading paper (3 to 7 euros, I think I had 30mm but I really recommend bigger though you can also just put another piece next to the other) - Forceps (4 euros, i don’t use them a lot apart for extra grip when I’m in a tight space ) - Insect box or display box to store them in (mine was 23x30cm and 20 euros, stores around 9 small to medium butterflies). You also need a shallow Tupperware (or other plastic fresh keep box) and paper towels. And then obviously butterflies!

Butterflies I highly recommend looking for dried butterfly sellers that 1) get their butterflies from butterfly farms (so you know they aren’t wild caught and possibly threatening the population) but 2) also one that sells ‘variety’ packs of butterflies. A mystery bag of butterflies so to say. Mine were €15 for 10 butterflies. I recommend it doing this way since you will have no idea what butterflies you’ll get, so you won’t be upset if one doesn’t come out the way you’d like! Knowing you paid €1.50 per butterfly is nicer than spending €10 euros (or way more! Some are even hundreds of euros) on a butterfly and you accidentally tear the wing.

Just pointers you should really know.. 1) Properly let a butterfly or moth relax before using them. Smaller ones might just take a day or two but bigger ones with a fatter body might take 3 or more days! There are also techniques for extra large ones where you will also need a syringe and a plunger to squeeze in some water into the body itself! 2) It’s tough to move/spread the wings without accidentally removing the scales, the color, of the wings but the best way to move them is using the ‘wrong’ end of an insect needle and gently lift it up by find the main vein of the wing (usually just at the top rim). 3) I highly recommend trying to figure out what kind of butterfly you are about to pin so you can look up how they are traditionally pinned (just google their scientific/latin name and prepped versions will show up). If you have one of those ‘assorted’ butterfly packs you can look on the website if they happen to also sell them separately to figure out what kind they are. 4) Try to only put 2 to 3 butterflies at a time in a relaxing chamber, it takes time for them to relax but it also takes time for them to prepare and if you don’t feel like doing more they can kinda get a bit smelly after a while (even moldy if you didn’t properly prepare the relaxing chamber). I either do 1 bigger one and 1 small one or 3 small ones if I’m really feeling it that week :)

Feel free to ask more questions! I am also a beginner (just did my 8th butterfly!) so I really recommend doing a lot of research and watch a lot of videos!

[olympustextbookwriter]

Solangeo Over the Summer Break

Nico’s POV

It was a warm summer’s day. One of many over this summer’s break, but something about today was different. Everything seemed louder, brighter, better. There were more bees buzzing around, more bufferflies fluttering on the wind currents, more birds chirping on their perches. The whole camp was amplified.

Campers mulled around the usual hangouts. Satyrs and campers played competitively on the basketball courts, forcing the ball to arch high into the nets. Dozens of campers, with the help of the nymphs of course, picked the ripe strawberries from the fields, with every one they picked seeming to send the warm smell of berries seeping over the camp. The Hermes kids were busy training in the arena; their swords whipping furiously faster than the blink of an eye. Although they were just sparring, each and everyone of their faces had the clear glint of sweat which was gleaming in the warm summer sun. Demeter kids were arguing with the Ares cabin about some petty feud whilst Argus desperately tried to break them up.

However, what struck me most today was the couples. Everywhere I looked their were couples. A Nike kid and an Ares one, I barely knew the names of, were making out down by the lake, whilst being gwaked at by a bunch of Naiads, laughing and jeering under the surface. Two girls, an Aphrodite one and a Hermes one perhaps, were lying on the bottom of Half Blood Hill, linked arm in arm, chatting and almost most definitely flirting with one another. Across the fields Katie Gardener and Travis Stoll were playing some sort of game, chasing each other through the trees lining the edge of the forest. Katie was making the roots of the trees move, whilst Travis was using his quick wits and Hermes agility to dodge them, so the distance between them stayed the same.

I didn’t know whether something was different today. Everything sure seemed different. The grass was greener, the trees were stronger and the shimmering blue water almost seemed to glow.

I didn’t feel different though. My hands still moved in the same way. My legs still moved in the same way. So did my arms. So did my feet and my head and my mouth. But then why... why did something feel different.

I kept on my way, through the trees. The sun shone on the leaves creating a light almost like a stained glass window. Rays of green light leaked into the shadows and the undergrowth. Then an idea bubbled into my head. Maybe something was wrong with my shadow travelling and that was why I was feeling different. So as soon as I set foot into the next shadow, I shadow travelled. Only about 150m away to a shadow that was being cast by a massive bolder, but far enough to test if everything was the same. Which it was. The same.

Then I saw him. He was walking quickly in my direction, or at least I thought it was my direction. It could have been to somewhere behind me. What am I saying? Of course he wouldn’t be walking towards me.

I kept staring nonetheless. His legs were long and strong, the muscles, which I had to say were massive, flexed with every step. My eyes moved up to his chest, decked out in his usual Camp Half Blood t-shirt. Then to his face. My eyes caught on his face. Caught on his glimmering blue eyes and shaggy blonde hair. Gods his hair seemed like seeping rays of sunlight. And that goofy smile, I could see it from here. The right corner turning, leaving little dimples. I knew the few freckles that were speckled across his face like an astronomer knows the constellations.

I must have been daydreaming, or staring too deeply or something, because all of a sudden he was there right in front of me. Will Solace was right there. He smelt amazing, like the campfire we do singalongs around and like a sweet warm honey. I was busy trying to place the smell when he said, “Hey! Err Nico! You in there?”

My heart stopped, then sped up to a thousand beats per minute. He was talking to me and I had been stupid and hadn’t replied. “Err... Hey Will... Sorry I was just out of it, daydreaming about yo- yellow foods.” Shit, shit, shit... Gods I’m stupid.

“Ahh no worries Neeks,” Will said, half stiflingly a laugh, half finding my idioticness funny. I only half realised that he had called me Neeks and only later did I realise I liked it. “Look, I was just wandering if you wanted to- erm,” he was blushing now, I mean so was I, but he was too. “If you wanted to get dinner with me?” Will’s cheeks looked almost sunburnt now. The freckles on them stood out like spots on a Dalmatian. For the first time I noticed how small, round and cute was his nose was.

“Don’t we all eat at the pavilion together?”

If it was possible, Will’s cheeks turned a greater shade of scarlet. That sweet, comforting honey smell drifted between us again on the warm summer breeze. Butterflies danced pirouettes in the air around our heads.

There was a brief silence until eventually Will said, “Yeah but, but I mean at a different time.” I didn’t say anything so Will continued, “or if you don’t want to get dinner then maybe we could go to the lake or you could help with the- help with something.”

I didn’t quite know what to say. If there was a way my heart could burst, that would have happened minutes ago. I never did well with people. Reading them anyway.

Will turned away to go. His shoulders slumped. His arms hang loose at their sides. His expression changed in a flash, possibly the quickest I’ve ever seen any change. His usual smirk faded and the beautiful glitter in his eyes vanished without a trace. It was only then that I realised he was going to leave. And leave me alone.

I had to say something, “Will... that would be nice. I mean I would like that.”

“Really. You’re not joking.” The look on my face must have been as surprised as I felt, because Will smiled. If I had thought he was smiling hard before, then this was something else. He seemed to glow. “Great. Well I’ll see you at the pavilion at 5. Is that ok?”

“It’s- its great.” How I managed to get that out was amazing. I was speechless. I couldn’t move. Time had stopped.

“See you then.” Wil l turned, practically jumping with joy, the smirk on his lips was still there going strong. He began to walk off, but seemed to think better of it and waved before leaving.

I stayed there in that little grove, rooted to the floor for what seemed like hours. The emerald rays of light from the spring leaves was still there. The bees were still buzzing and the butterflies fluttering. The two making out down by the lake were still there, although now they were lying on the ground. The satyrs and campers were still playing their basketball game, furiously passing to each other and shooting from the other sides of the court with great success. Katie and Travis were still playing that weird chase game and the two girls were still there gazing at the sky. The Hermes kids were sparring and the Ares and Demeter kids were rowing.

They were all the same. I was different, I now felt different. Will Solace had asked me out. That was different. But it was a good different.

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