#I am aro/ace so I like to headcanon characters as that by default

[kayden-i-guess]

Sudden random urge to make this post instead of doing my work.

So, shipping! I do it a lot and I feel the need to explain how it works for me.

When I ship characters I don't think they should end up together in canon. I don't think they should get married, heck I don't even think they should date. When I say I ship something I mostly just mean I find their dynamic interesting and I want them to hang out with each other more. I just slap the label of shipping on it for no particular reason.

I headcanon almost every character as some kind of aspec identity, but that's mostly because aspec is the default in my head. I can't tell the difference between romance and platonic and queer platonic aside from how you would feel about a person.

Actually, it's more like this. When someone else is talking about a ship, I understand it is romantic and not platonic and I can understand the difference. But if I am the one making the fanart it stops making sense to me. BUT if I make fanart inspired by another piece of shipping media (like a fanfic or post) I understand it is romantic. Once the inspiration wears off I'm back in the confused state of not understanding romance.

Any ship I ship could easily just not be a ship to me. It could be romantic, it could be platonic, it could be queer platonic it makes little to no difference to me.

And there isn't really anything I don't ship. I don't really put that much thought into it. If there isn't a reason i shouldn't ship it I will ship it. And there is very little reason as to why I wouldn't ship something.

Okay now that I'm actually taking the time to put this shit into words me shipping something seems pointless. I mostly do it because I like mushing characters' names together and to draw them in "romantic" situations but considering the fact that I literally kiss my best friend I don't see why anything I ship can't be platonic or queer platonic.

Okay maybe I just don't ship at all. Huh.

This post was prompted by seeing a lot of aro posts about shipping and I thought " well I'm Aro and I don't mind shipping". I can understand why other Aros don't like it. I was pretty averse to it in the beginning I just changed my mind once I found out that shipping wasn't quite as serious as I thought it was. And I'm only very comfortable with it in one or two fandoms. In any other fandom I'm still averse to shipping.

Actually now that I think about it. I like ships the people I follow and/or mutuals like. Those are the ones I draw most. I like seeing my moots go insane about the characters kissing. So maybe it's not the ships itself but the shippers? Hmm.

I mean it is fun to draw people kissing though makes me feel all giddy and shit. Unless there's tongue or blush or sweat or panting. But that's just the ace in me.

Uh idk how to end this. I'm just confused about romance again.

[iturbide]

Can I ask 22, 30, 41, and 42 please?

Absolutely!

What character do you headcanon as ace or aro?

The easy answer to this is 'everyone is ace and aro unless otherwise stated' because I kind of default to gen in reading most characters. It's easier to list the characters I don't think are one or the other.

(With that said, though, I read Claude as both aro and ace and will never change that. The 'arrow ace' pun is too apt.)

What characters should have more support options and who should have been their support options?

Claude. Hands down, Claude should have had more options, and I say this despite knowing that he has the most supports out of the three Lords. But I want to see him interact more with other characters, particularly outside of the Golden Deer, because that's his stated purpose let him bond with more people.

What is a favorite character headcanon (can be one you came up with or one you liked / adopted from someone else)?

Okay so this is probably a little niche but I have this headcanon that the reason Hubert keeps his hair like that, where it grows over his right eye, is because back when Arundel spirited Edelgard away to Faerghus and he tried to chase after them, he ended up getting a head wound while fighting his father's men as they tried to get him back. It was a relatively minor injury, all things considered, but with how anxious he was about Edelgard's disappearance, he kept worrying at it constantly and it ended up scarring terribly. When Edelgard finally returned to the Empire and they met again, she recoiled at the sight of the scar -- and while it was a reflex of surprise rather than disgust, Hubert took it entirely wrong and from that point on grew his hair out specifically to conceal the scar so as not to cause her further distress.

(also honorable mention to Claude being a very capable musician, but I've already cited Claude for two answers)

Do you have / are you willing to share a possibly controversial opinion or headcanon you have about a character?

I think probably my most contentious options about Three Houses probably have to do with Edelgard, and at the risk of opening that can of worms again: I am personally of the opinion that she could change course, with proper guidance and support and having to face the consequences of her actions. It's the core concept that the Pre-Timeskip Fix-It is based on (along with giving Byleth more agency than the game ever allowed them): that Edelgard could have a different fate, even if she does spend a lot of time continuing to barrel down the path to ruin because she is stubborn and I can't help but respect that about her.

50 Questions for FE3H

[limitlessscion]

‎ "—I had fun"

Tracking #LimitlessScion

Independent Satoru Gojo ∞ Jujutsu Kaisen Mutuals-only ∞ Duplicates and OC friendly ∞ Minors DNI Written by Cherry (They/Them/Any ∞ 30+ ∞ EST) Manga current + spoilers

By default canon-compliant in broad strokes, but portrayal + interpretation heavily influenced by headcanons and verse-specific interactions. An emphasis is placed on the agony of loneliness and being human in a world that denies your humanity.

Nav: about ∞ verses ∞ mun ∞ headcanons ∞ prompts

1 ∞ I have absolutely no tolerance for drama, I will not engage in or comment. My lack of engagement is not an indication of any opinion on the matter. Contact me privately if you need to hash out any issues.

2 ∞ I do best with ample plotting and discussion, my Discord is available to any mutuals upon request for such a purpose.

Mutual daydreaming about potential scenarios and relationship details until ideas for threads and interactions click into existence is the bread and butter of writing with me, and I thrive the most when I have many unique discussion points to feed off of when writing.

I am still happy to jump straight into interactions without plotting though!

3 ∞ Please do not make assumptions about my portrayal based off of fanon! There are many unique aspects about my Satoru that are very important to me and can diverge pretty heavily from popular interpretations. Please don't hesitate to ask me if you are ever unsure, I am always happy to explain, and in return I will always work with your own unique portrayal as well.

4 ∞ I think that the fact there can be so many different ways to interpret a character when everyone has the same starting material is a beautiful thing to be celebrated. I am happy to write with multiples of the same muse and each will be treated with the respect of being their own unique character.

I am also more than happy to follow other Satoru blogs if you are comfortable with it, and I do want to interact when given the chance.

5 ∞ Shipping: Your muses are allowed to have crushes on him, but please approach me with the assumption that he will likely never reciprocate in the right way. I love the idea of exploring flings or short-lived relationships that don't work out, but long term romance-like relationships are rare and only works if a lot of chemistry occurs naturally through interactions. I write Satoru as aro/ace and I do take the aromantic part of his identity seriously; it will affect how he approaches things.

I love all kinds of platonic dynamics, from friends, to antagonists and familial. All interactions regardless of the type of dynamic are in separate verses unless plotted otherwise

6 ∞ Dead Dove: do not eat. Many mature themes make potential and frequent appearances on this blog, due to the nature of the source material and just my preference in writing: I have a great love of writing violence and uncomfortable characterizations. I generally won't bother tagging the likes of violence and gore in prose, though I will tag any explicit visuals and things I have been asked to tag with "_ cw"

I won't be writing any explicit sexual content, but suggestive content including up to a fade to black might occur

7 ∞ My primary goal here is to have fun, and to make sure that my writing partner is also having fun. I'm really not picky on the length, formatting, grammar or whatever from my partner as long as effort is being put in and we're having a good time. I write as much as I feel like, I reply to things I have muse for, and I won't necessarily answer prompts I can't think of a reply to. I expect my partners to have the same freedom without any pressure to inform me.

I am happy as needed to drop threads, redo concepts, write short scenarios that only lasts a round or two; anything goes in the name of enjoying ourselves shamelessly.

Art Credit: all graphics used on blog are either official content or used with explicit permission

[Mobile banner] by mercuryartes

[loregoddess]

1, 22, 26 for the FE 3H questions

1) What drew you to / made you pick up and play FE3H? I had played Awakening and Fates and was super excited for 3H, so I was already a fan of the series and excited to play a new game.

22) What character do you headcanon as ace or aro? Because I am ace I tend to default to reading every character as a little bit ace until I come across something to make me change my mind, and 3H isn't one of the games I have like, wildly specific character sexuality headcanons for to begin with but hmm...

I really don't have wildly specific "yes, this character seems [insert sexuality] to me" for hardly any of the characters bc FE casts in general feel very fluid for how they can be interpreted, but I guess if I had to choose characters who I felt fell under the aro/ace umbrella a bit moreso than other characters, I'd say: Byleth, Mercedes, Raphael, Caspar, and Hanneman.

26) Who is your overall favorite character? Dedue, my beloved. The funny thing is when I was reading through all the character profile cards when I very first started the game, I got to Dedue and was like, "Oh, he'll probably be one of my favorites." Dedue deserves the world.

[sunderingstars]

ʚ 💌 ɞ suggestion box !! ʚ 💌 ɞ

. . . . . . . . ➜ status: closed!

.𖥔 ݁ 🪐˖ note: asks & thirsts are always open, but i am not taking writing suggestions right now! (this does not apply to ask/writing games, if i reblog an ask/writing game feel free to send me relevant suggestions !!)

✰ ↓ rules ↓ ✰

✎ᝰ. DO’S

💚 please be nice, i have anxiety :3

💚 sfw only (suggestive and thirsts are fine, but i only write explicit content on my own terms! please do not send me mature suggestions if you are under 18.)

💚 i regard writing asks as suggestions (i don’t take requests) — if i’m interested in the idea i’ll usually write a little on it, but i don’t want the pressure of reqs 🤧

💚 it may take me a few days to respond depending on length — i also reserve the right to not answer a suggestion for any reason, especially if it violates my rules

💚 i sometimes crosspost writing responses to ao3!

💚 gn!reader (default) & non-fem afab!reader

💚 specificity is encouraged but not required!

💚 i also take regular asks, so as long as it follows the rules feel free to talk about your own headcanons/pairings/analysis, i love hearing what other people think !!

✎ᝰ. WHAT I WRITE

🏵️ headcanons, analysis, pairings, x reader, gen

🏵️ genshin impact, honkai: star rail, hunter x hunter, hazbin hotel (gen only)

🏵️ fav pairings ♡: kaebedo, wriolette, ittorou, thomato, sampard, genshin x reader, hsr x reader, as well as individual characters from the listed media!

🏵️ specific!readers: genderfluid, non-binary, transmasc, afab, aro/ace spectrum, ocd (as well as a few specific themes, feel free to ask), anxiety, depression, maladaptive daydreaming, pots, chronic fatigue

🏵️ i may still be open to writing things not listed here, so feel free to ask !!

✎ᝰ. DONT’S

🔴 explicit content

🔴 basic no’s like {in}cest, {step}cest, & uncomfortable age gap pairings

🔴 alastor ships (qpr/aroace identity exploration is fine!)

🔴 fem!reader

🔴 discourse

🔴 most specific!readers that aren’t on my list

🔴 other no’s may come up on a case-by-case basis

✎ᝰ. EXTRA

if you’ve read to this point, leave a 🪐 emoji somewhere in your message and i’ll give you an extra headcanon i have for one of the characters in the suggestion :3 thank you !!

[citrusandsalt]

AHHH I'm SCREAMING, what an incredibly kind and thorough review! I cannot even SAY how thankful I am for you taking the time to give such a detailed and loving recommendation. My heart is so, SO full!

As far as what's on the page (so to speak), I don't have anything to add - you've covered everything!! If anyone is interested in biographical details of the creators (mostly me, Essay, voice of Spar, with broad statements about the GM and my co-lead) or how we have purposefully conceptualized our world and characters, see below:

Waaahhh, Edil's post is such an act of love and my heart is shaped like "!!!" reading it.

Here are some additional details in case you're the kind of person where knowing if the creator shares the identity they're portraying is make or break:

Race: I (Essay, playing agent Merim Felspar) am non-Black mixed race. Jordan (the GM) and Ila (agent Kaolin Vellum) are both white. (I don't want to speak too much to their experience, but both of them have close ties to non-white cultures in a meaningful, lasting way that's not just "oh yeah, they have a brown friend.")

When making a fantasy world that doesn't share our concepts of race/culture, it was important to us that it not be white by default, but we also struggle with bringing culture into a world that doesn't have our conceptions of cultural markers. That said, we'd rather fumble it in awkwardly than leave it out for fear of doing it wrong. If they were ported into the real world, Spar would be Hispanic and Vellum would be Asian-American. These backgrounds rarely come up but are a core part of how Ila and I conceptualize our characters.

As a whole, on the pod, we're mindful of incorporating non-US-ian/non-white names, traditions, festivals, and foods on screen, and characters have a variety of skin tones.

LGBTQ+: All of us strongly identify as queer. Jordan and Ila are trans/nonbinary and I am a cis woman. Spar (my character) is a bi man. (It is not confirmed on screen whether he is cis or trans; headcanon away!). Vellum (Ila's character) is masc (he/they pronouns) and has romantic and sexual attractions toward at least one man ;) Vellum is confirmed on screen as trans. NPCs created by Jordan are by large trans/nonbinary/genderweird.

Amatonormativity: More than one of us identifies as on the ace/aro spectrum. I don't think we have any characters say they're ace/aro on screen, but several of them do identify somewhere on that spectrum.

I and one other host definitely identify as non-monogamous. This hasn't really come up directly in play, but there are specific non-monogamous relationships that we know of and may be shown on screen. At least one of them is in a canon novella Jordan is writing for the Patreon!

ACAB: We are very, very careful about not portraying cops as a source of justice. Police do appear in the series, but they are never the focus, and both as players and as characters, we're conscious that we are NOT police. Neither we as players nor our society in fiction has a perfect vision of non-carceral justice, but we try to imagine other world to be possible.

Disability/Mental Health: I identify as disabled. All three of us struggle with a sampler of mental health issues, pain, and fatigue. Spar's migraines are heavily patterned after my own, and his tinnitus is patterned after a close friend of mine's. If I were armchair diagnosing, I'd say just about every main character has PTSD of some kind but it's a pretty traumatic world :laugh:

My personal pet cause is making sure that the world of the show is accessible. We have different fantasy species sharing the same space, and I always push to make sure we're portraying a world that is safe and comfortable for both pixies and giants to move through. This extends to disability - specifically, in Clovenheart, I want to show a world where meaningful accommodations are not just made but it's never a question that they would be.

Fatness: I am fat! I don't want to use descriptors for my cohosts but it is important to all of us that fat characters are loveable, kind, fun, goofy, mean, hot, smart, scary, etc etc. We're not always good about remembering to note fatness on screen, but it's something I do think about.

Adoption Status: None of us are adopted. Both main characters and multiple side characters are adopted or raised by people who aren't their bio parents. Spar's story deals with his deceased parents, which is adapted from my real-life experience (but not an exact match).

Allegory/Metaphor: We have been careful not to make being altered (the visibly "different" group in our multiracial, queernormative world) be a metaphor or allegory for any one thing. That said, for me, personally, Spar's status as a "passing" "normal" person maps onto my status as "passing" for white. His complicated feelings about being raised by people who don't move through the world the way he does, and his feelings about when to "disclose" his status, and how he does and doesn't feel a part of the community of altered people is closely mapped to my own.

However! That's just me and my play! In NPCs, alteration is played closer to a trans/queer experience (and in one case, is the result of a gender confirmation spell). It also has shades of being disabled and of experiencing xenophobia and also just fantasy strangeness!

If you have any questions about the show or representation, please feel free to reach out! I am always happy to jam about the show and what representation means to me!

(PS - it goes without saying, but just to say: I, Essay, am happy to jam about these things and do not speak for Jordan or Ila! Please respect their privacy and boundaries about what they do and don't want to talk about if you reach out to them.)

Edited to Add: Transcripts!!! We are all tired bitches working full time jobs (+ additional jobs for some of us) but this is top of my list for "when one or more of us has the time" and/or "when the pod makes enough money for us to hire a queer disabled transcriptionist bc y'all, there are so many I would love to give money to." Episodes 1 and 2 have transcripts, which should be linked on the Patreon I think (for free!!)

Do you love detective stories but hate cops?

Do you love gay detective stories and hate capitalism?

Like disabled main characters who's disability actually comes up?

Like characters of color but not in the mood for stories on racism?

Tempted by the thought of romance at ages of 30+?

Does the idea of stories so queer you'll hesitate before calling any character a "man" or a "woman" make you think "Ah, yes pronoun shenanigans, just like my discord used to make"

And you into an abundance of strong, diverse female and nonbinary characters?

Do you fight for women's wrongs?

I know rep-only recommendations can be annoying, but I'm trying to grab your attention to promote some Indie media. Luckily, though, this post isn't rep-only!

To read my full reccomendation and review of Three of Hearts, click below. ♦️♥️♣️♠️

And if you aren't in the mood for a new thing right now, consider reblogging! Maybe even ping a friend who might be into this! You love supporting queer indie creators!

Note: I am not involved with the making of the show or the game space Kings. I just really like this podcast.

The story

♠️♣️♥️♦️Three of Hearts♦️♥️♣️♠️ centers on two paragovernmental agents in a fantasy, post-war, queernormative 1950s.

Roughly 20 years before the opening, a set of heroes purged magic from the world to turn the tide of the war. But scraps of this thaumaturgic energy still remain. S.U.I.T.S (securing unpredictable injurious thaumaturgic situations) is an agency founded to deal with everything left behind.

When two of the longest standing employees at S.U.I.T.S, Agent Vellum and Agent Felspar, are called onto a new case involving stone crops and a missing person, Felspar isn't surprised (Though Vellum, who's injury had him doing desk work most of his career, is). Things devolve quickly when the Agents realize this case comes from Felspar's home town of Cloven heart, an idyllic magical village that prefers to handle justice on it's own.

Answers yield only more questions, as the Agents realize almost everyone in town has something to hide, and Felspar isn't the only one whose past keeps catching up to him:

How much magic is still around? What's Vellum got sloshing around in there that people think is so juicy? What is Diamond, elven pop star and queer icon, doing in such a small town? Just how big is this case, and how can the Agents balance their legal responsibility, with promises they've made to Cloven Heart?

WHEN. WILL. THEY. JUST. KISS?

(if you're skeptical about central romances, I get it! See notes on aro/aceness and platonic relationships in the rep section for more info)

The combination of magic and newfangled war tech — think telegrams and radios — is somehow just as charming as a rotating cast of characters who will each stake their claim on your heart, but betrayal is imminent and mistrust is rife. The story strikes a wonderful balance between slice of life goodness, and edge-of-your-seat high drama, culminating In a show I highly recommend.

But are they just reskinned cops: my answer has got to be no. While they are technically law enforcement, the main two are entering a commune-like space, where that isn't so welcome. It's a situation they treat with caution and respect. The classic cop-plot of "Should I make myself judge, jury, and executioner because The Bad Guy™ deserves punishment" just isn't a problem. The justice system isn't perfect, in our world or the show's, and the story acknowledges that. But in a social, cultural way, they don't act like cops. They DO act like detectives. But the rules they choose to break and the ones they choose to follow will hopefully satisfy my fellow cop-haters who crave a good mystery

The format

♠️♣️♥️♦️Three of Hearts♦️♥️♣️♠️ is an Indie actual play — this is not DnD, hear me out — podcast in the game Space Kings. All the tension of dice rolls, without drawn out combat or clunkiness, it's a breeze of story-forward listening, even if you've never listened to actually play podcasts before!

If you've tried dnd actual plays, and haven't like the flow of them, I would recommend trying this. A few encounters that may feel random (though they're not) get the story kicked off at a fast pace, but it quickly settles into a story with a tight plot, great pacing, and impactful character development.

The use of a playing card deck to see the outcomes of risky actions means that no matter what happens, success or failure, the tension keeps rising. And the hosts do a wonderful job of explaining mechanics in the show, so it never interrupts the listening experience.

Actual-play connessuires who want to primarily see people playing a game might not be satisfied, as bonuses are given liberally, and I would describe the podcast as more story focused than game focused, But the risks are ALWAYS real, sometimes (often) with thrilling, shocking outcomes.

Also concerned AP listeners should know there's some chaos magic involved! I was surprised when it first came up, and doubtful about how it might affect the story, but it ended up weaving into the rest of the plot really well, and I feel neither like it had no affect, nor like it shook up everything the party was building in an unsatisfying way. Personally I would have preferred to go in knowing it was there, but I also don't think it's major enough to belong in the main synopsis. Now you know, though!

The hosts make a real effort to blend stats and story, and I think the pull it off wonderfully without spending too much time on mechanics. If you want to see that though, session 0 and other details are on the Patreon (where you get the same content no matter how much you pay, at a minimum of a dollar a month).

The pod has all the lighthearted fun and banter of a "friends around the table" show, but never once have I had that "oh my god, I'm not a part of your inside joke, shut up and play!" Feeling.

I think it's a delight for AP and non-AP fans alike.

The episodes: roughly 45- 75 minutes long, with a midtro and some post-end music scenes, so listen through the end music, or check that there isn't extra content by seeing how close the play head is when the end music starts. It's not too long and quite pleasant in my opinion! The midtros always come at a nice moment to step back from the story, and are not too long and not irritating. I enjoyed listening to them! At some point, a midtro starts getting reused, and I was slightly disappointed I wasn't hearing new jokes every episode, but it's a small thing. I skip the repetitive ones with my 30 seconds forward button, and while I haven't timed the Intro, that's worked really well for me. I don't have to fiddle with my play head to make sure I don't skip forward too far. Super convient.

Trigger warnings: the show is pretty lighthearted! Listeners sensitive non-graphic mentions of needles, blood, and/or guns might want to skip on this one, but most episodes don't get heavy. The few that do have pre episodes notes that warn you things get dark, how they get dark, and how to skip the darkest bits. Personally, I listened through them and enjoyed those parts a lot! But if that's not your thing, I agree with the warning that they're very skippable, and I think trigger-sensitive listeners will be pleased. As an indie pod, there are no fan made, super specific lists of triggers. However, my DMs are always open if you have particular concerns, and I'll answer to the best of my ability.

I try to emphasize the balance between lightheartedness and drama, but if you mental health is sensitive to grim & dark media, i think this one is pretty safe. Please always exercise caution! But I'd describe 30♥️s as emotionally restful.

Transcripts: transcripts are in the works, but do not currently exist. Three of Hearts is a non-scripted show, so those are also unavailable

The rep

Don't you hate when someone raves about rep and you go in expecting something good and get like. One dog-boy described as having "chocolate colored skin"? Or when people make a "watch for rep" post and then mention like. Gay and maybe trans people and that's it, even when shows DO have disability and POC rep? Yeah that's not me. Here's the spoiler free rundown, race is at the bottom because I get into more detail with it, not because it isn't important:

MLM characters: Main characters, one confirmed bi the other unknown

Wlw characters: Reoccurring side characters (present or mentioned in every episode I think) Married. Orientation unspecified.

Enby love: LOTS. It's actually hard to really categorize mlm and wlw stuff because almost every character is nonbinary. Anyways— it's VERY queer

Women: I...I don't know exactly which characters are women 😂. But there are many feminine characters, and they're badass as fuck. Some are compassionate, some are cold, some are chaotic, most are a mix! The two main characters are...masculine...(I say with much hesitation) but you will not feel robbed for your woman-ly content.

Polyamory: to my knowledge so far, there are polyam characters, and it is definitely present in the world! But no poly relationships in the forefront. I am about 2/3 through the current episodes, so there may be a present polyamorous relationship later, but also if I confirmed it that would be a spoiler. This may be that "playing it by ear" thing that happens with ttrpgs. I wouldn't listen for the hope of polyamory alone, but I don't tell you it's not there/won't happen.

Non-traditional family structures: All of the families in the story, pretty much, are non-traditional. Adoption is super common. (You want some wlw who just KEEP adopting kids? You got em) Found family is a MASSIVE force in the story. Also, It's a post-war story.........which is to say almost everyone's parents are dead.

Edit: an MC had poly parents, which may not be obvious but is true!

Trans characters: almost all of them. Might think "oh there are only a few!" And you are wrong. You are so wrong.

Neopronoun users: yup! To my knowledge, minor characters. A handful who use at least he/she/they or they/them and may also use neos in a manner im forgetting

Plurality: no system characters yet, but the creators are friendly, I asked ;)

Aro/ace characters: none confirmed yet to my knowledge. Romance is very central, sex is joked about on occasion but it isn't at the forefront of the story at all. There are many, single characters who are thriving.

Platonic relationships: YES. As an aro person who hates so many romance tropes this one gets my stamp of approval. There's no real jealousy drama, exes who communicate and are supportive, and romance doesn't kill friendships. There's a central sibling relationship and non-familial platonic ones that have conflict, drama, resolutions, and a deeply satisfying significance in the story. If you don't like romance at all, this one might not be for you. If you just don't like stories exclusively about romance, I think you'll enjoy this. Genre wise, I'd definitely describe three of hearts as a mystery primarily with a strong romantic subplot, not a romance itself, and that comes through in player and character's additives and priorities.

Age diversity: the youngest characters in the show are older to middling teens, and the oldest are in their 400s. Okay but the oldest in human terms are roughly 60-70. The most common age range, and the ones the central characters are in, is 30-40. The second most common is that 60-70, then some ~40-50 folks here and there, with people in their 20s being probably the rarest (no named ones off the top of my head?) And there are a small number of teens. This is not a story about youth and youthful beauty. Generally, the older a character becomes the most bad ass/spooky powerful they are, and older characters are very involved in the plot.

Mental illness and neurodivergency: to my knowledge so far no characters are in cannon confirmed to have a specific mental illness or ND, though I wouldn't be surprised if it was part of a character or the main characters, and just hadn't come up. Listeners with cluster b or "scary" disorders, or with conditions that may cause them to lash out, will find satisfaction with how compassionately the narrative treats werefolk. To say more encounters spoilers. I would also say that depression, while the word isn't used and it is not central to the story, is present as a narrative force, and also treated wisely and with compassion. Still, as is usually for a good story, all of these bitches need therapy.

Disability: LOTS. There's a lot of "different, not broken" themes that disabled listeners are likely to love, but both of the main characters are disabled! One is a cane user, the other experiences migraines. These have a genuine, pressing, mechanical impact on the story. It's COMES UP. It's a real joy. For a magical world, there is no magical healing! Or there is, but it isn't a perfect solution, which in my opinion is just a magical version of real healing, though yours may differ! Also, there is a minor, reoccurring character who's a wheelchair user, and I think he's really fun.

Disfigurement: Excuse me if I am not prepared with the most sensitive way to speak about this, but I'm doing my best! There is a character with no eyes or nose, who is central and lovely. To my knowledge, there are no amputee characters or characters with limb differences (of the wheelchair user I'm not sure if it's specified whether or not he has legs). There is a character of questionable morality who has significant facial and bodily disfigurement. In as few spoilers as possible: this was not injury or genetic related. The disfigurement is treated with a firm compassion, and does not exist as a "this character is evil" signal. It's a long arc, but I imagine people who relate will be satisfied, though I cannot speak for anyone.

Characters of color: many! The main two are Hispanic and Asian. Terms like "dark skinned" are used for characters, but in the fantasy world race doesn't exactly translate, and I wouldn't call it "important" in this story. Read more about race below:

Fantasy racism: sort of! The word "race" is used to mean "humanoid species" and I know some folks don't like that? None of these fantasy races are oppressed, but specific people (Magic versus non-magic people) have conflict about that aspect of their identity, and policing is a related concern. I would place the allegory more in the space of transness and disability/neurodivergency if pressed to choose, but it doesn't feel like it's trying to tell a story about real-world oppression, primarily. I have more complicated thoughts on exactly what I'm trying to communicate here, but they involved some spoilers. DM me for more info!

Hosts/creator identity: out of three hosts, two are white, one is not! They are very queer, and disability is also...a thing! These are real life people, so I'm not going to get into detail, but check out their twitters plugged in the show for more on how they self-identify.

Okay but are they racist: Real talk! As a black person who thinks I keep my ears sharp, I would say no! Not at all! This is one of those situations where I was like "YOU'RE WHITE?" And shocked about it, (if you listened to TSCOSI, same vibe) which is a very good thing in my books. The hosts are open and sensitive, and I have no complaints, however, this is just one perspective! This isn't coincidental, race is an active consideration in how the story is told — just not a central theme.

Minor but worth mentioning: A minor character has a name with what I believe is the Nahuatl "tl" sound in it, which is not pronounced correctly. It's a really hard sound! But if that really irritates you this might not be the podcast for you.

People who might be interested in this post, as always let me know if you don't want to be pinged (I rarely ever do this) and it won't happen again: @citrusandsalt @fyeahaudiodrama @boombox-fuckboy

[breezy-cheezy]

Allura, Eraserhead, Jason Todd, Miles Morales, Hornet :>

Alrighty here we go~

***Allura****

First impression: She’s so pretty!! Elf?? SPACE ELF??? Idk what’s going on with all the lions and stuff but I love her design. She’s so cute…

Impression now: I love her and she deserved SO MUCH BETTER than she got?? D:

Favorite moment: TBH when she started getting to pilot Blue and really got to grow into her leader role, I just thought it was so cool?? Also all magic scenes!!

Idea for a story: Let her go shopping for shiny things at the space mall!!!!

Unpopular opinion: Is it bad I still ship Shallura…………? But I also liked her and Lotor…….*I’m still not caught up btw HA but I have had spoilers sooooo*

Favorite relationship: I really really loved her familial bond with Coran, I wish we saw more of that! Wonderful space Niece and Uncle!

Favorite headcanon: Altean markings all over and that they glow. I’;m sorry I’m not more interesting on this front;;;;;

***Eraserhead/Aizawa***

First impression: ????what is with this homeless gremlin man he looks scary and kinda mean?? Is he high?? Why is he so mean to Deku??

Impression now: I love and support Eraserhead…he’s such a dad. Tough love dad, but a good and supportive dad. He grew on me real fast X’’’D Also please let him have sleep and all the cats he wants :T

Favorite moment: Every time he saves the kids…or gives pep talks…just…what a good dude…

Idea for a story: Sooooo daemon au?? Maybe his Barred Owl delivers messages over campus? Oooh I just imagined his mama owl huddled over a nest of stray kittens ;7;

Unpopular opinion: MHA is great, needs more Aizawa. ANd more cats.

Favorite relationship: His friendship with ALL Might and Mic? So pure…but also Tsuyu being his surrogate daughter? Super pure…

Favorite headcanon: Aro/Ace Aizawa ace aizawa ace aizawa ACE AIZAWA ACE— I think you get the point ;7;

***Jason Todd***

First impression: He is…the mean jock robin…he died once?? But he came back with a gun…poor dude with issues…

Impression now: SON. CHILD. PLEASE LET HIM BE HAPPY. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.PLEASE GIVE HIM A BREAK AND MAKE HIM COME HOME TO HIS FAMILY AND ACCEPTANCE!!!

Favorite moment: Any time he quotes classic literature like the HUGE nerd he is!! And the part where he was sick and fell asleep on Bruce…ALSO that freaking “YAAAAASSSS” in Robin war, a current fave, I love that dumb scene so freaking much asndububfer 

Idea for a story: IDK I’ve always had this little plunny idea of some little girl he rescues from something just kinda plays with his hair and paints his nails and he just totally rolls with it. Anything with Jason and kids. I mean. Look how well he handles Bizzarro??

Unpopular opinion: Unpopular to DC I really wish he could just hug it out with Bruce and be done with all the family drama.......

Favorite relationship: Platonic Jason with Tim has been a huge fave...Berba pointed out they’re BOTH huge nerds and kinda jocks too, so that’s fun! But also Jason with Damian. And Dick. And Bruce. Jason bonding with the batfam?? But also Jason bonding with Bizzarro was one of the cutest things...lookit this softie :P 

Favorite headcanon: That Jay is actually a redhead but dyed it upon adoption to hide his identity as robin! Also that he’s aro/ace. And that he has claustrophobia that flares up at inconvenient times due to the whole “waking up in a grave” thing...

I think about Jason alot?? But gosh DANG I cannot draw him consistently DX 

***Miles Morales***

First impression: Black spiderman? Cool! Never heard of him but he looks nice??

Impression now: LITERAL SUN/SON INTO THE COLLECTION YOU GO-- he deserved more hugs after all the crap he went through in Spiderverse :T I love him, he’s so sweet and funny and an artist!! :’’D

Favorite moment: LEAP OF FAITH!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!! but also the “who’s Morales” scene X’’’’’D I still think about that and laugh to this DAY

Idea for a story: I....really really like that Ballarino idea I’ve seen floating around...Miles in ballet would be so cool and funny!

Unpopular opinion: ....that first spiderman outfit was dumb and I know it’s the point but GOODNESS MILES X’’’’D makes it so much cooler when he gets his own!!

Favorite relationship:

I love Miles with everyone but gosh these friendships make me SO happy, also a platonic “I love you” BLESS!!!

Favorite headcanon: Seeing as Miles is an artist I bet he does all those Artist things like...buying new sketchbooks, despte having so many half finished ones, so many projects he needs to finish, always losing PENCILS, dumb stuff like that X’’D 

***Hornet***

First impression: I saw ads/posts about “SIlksong” long before I started playing Hollow Knight, so I thought she was going to be the sweet, cool, older sister figure! What a pretty bug!

Impression now: SHE’S BEAT ME UP SO MANY TIMES I feel like she says “get gud” every time and I suffer;;;;; I still love her and she’s freaking awesome~ visiting her little spider village was...sad tho...

Favorite moment: So far, when she went back to save the little Knight from the avalanche!! ;7; character development...

Idea for a story: I’d...love to see her go back and visit her mother’s grave (I’m ASSUMING it was Herrah, yes??) but also I’d love a human modern AU of some sort, with Hollow and the Knight as siblings...

Unpopular opinion: the spider charm is super helpful but I feel really bad about wearing it while fighting her, because now the little spiderlings are fighting their princess to protect me ;;7;; *guilt* but otherwise I die...! 

Favorite relationship: I love that “big sister” vibe that only grows every time she interacts with the knight X’’D 

Favorite headcanon: I like the idea that she sews stuff for other bugs in need, I think that’s super cute! 

WHEW ok gonna sleep now, sorry my answers are kinda boring;;; *tries to spice it up with gifs*

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Aro / Ace / Aroace representation in The Marauders Fandom

First of all I'm not here to invalidate your headcanons or force you my own personal ones. You can headcanon any sexuality for any character. I'm just here to give my opinion.

The Marauders Fandom is known to be filled with queer people. We love The Marauders and give them our own struggles as queer people in a very yet heteronormative world that fits everyone into a gender role. We had found our comfortable place here.

As an Aromantic Asexual, I feel the The Marauders Fandom is lacking of Aromantic and Asexual representation. Or is very bad. At least in the side of the fandom I am used to.

We talk about Gays, Lesbians, Bis, Pans, Trans, Non Binary, Genderfluid characters. And we love creating headcanons about them.

And there's Aro Ace / Ace Peter.

Most of the fans that I've seen on TikTok, Tumblr and other platforms headcanon Peter in the ace espectrum. And that's totally fine. But as an aroace person, I really don't feel very well represented with Peter.

Peter is the most hated Marauder, because he betrayed his friends. Peter is usually portrayed as dull, onedimensional, someone who interacts too little with the rest of the Marauders. Even ATYD, the most popular Marauders fanfic now a days, doesn't make Peter a complex character. Remus, Sirius, James and the Marauders Girls, even Regulus have rich story lines, they experience relatable things, they have a back ground, personal problems, insecurities and such. Not Peter. He feels like a side character most of the time, or isn't even there.

Also, there's another side of Peter that I've seen a lot too. A phsyco Peter that murders Marlene and ends up betraying everyone because he felt powerful or he secretly hated them.

Now imagine being an Aro / Ace / Aroace Marauders fan and seeing that the most common representation is in this character. A dull character that everyone hates or don't care about, or a phsycopath.

For me, it just feels like Aromanticism and Asexuality are being invalidated. It feels like people put Peter into this spectrum just to include it, just as a default, because every other character is so rich and complex to be asexual or aromantic.

And we love to create more and more queer head canons . Pan James, Bi James, Bi Lily, Bi Remus, Gay Remus, Trans Remus, Nonbinary Dorcas, Pan Sirius, Genderfluid Sirius, Lesbian Marlene, Bi Mary, Trans Sirius, Trans James, Pan Regulus, Bi Regulus, Gay Regulus etc. But not about Peter. Peter is ace by default. Or at least that's what I feel.

Again if you headcanon Peter as ace, aro or both, that's completely valid. But we need to start having good representation in an Ace Peter. The struggles, the confusion, the fear of not being "normal" or not fitting in, perhaps Peter trying to have allosexual relationships and not being able to. You know what a mean? A complex character with a good story line that has the aro/ace/ aroace experiences. Not just a dull secondary character that everyone hates or ignores.

I personally don't headcanon Peter as aroace. I have my other personal headcanons. Trying to find comfort and representation for my sexuality and identity.

I don't know if other Aro / Ace / Aro Ace Marauders fans feel this way, but I feel like we need better representation in headcanons and fics. With Peter or any other character.

Thank you very much, have good day.

[srrrokka]

My dude that post on gatekeeping aceness is not it chief. OP isn’t trying to say sex repulsed is the default, it’s just so tiring to see your identity portrayed One Way or just flat out ignored. You can’t support ace people then tell us we’re wrong when we speak up on how we feel or how we’re portrayed/treated in fandom (or non fandom) spaces.

Hi! I'm going to preface this by saying that the following answer is in good faith and not angry at all. I actually like discussing stuff like that! I find how others view and experience the world very fascinating. So here we go:

I do understand your take and I do absolutely respect people interpreting characters whichever way they want as well as the importance of representation. But so it happens that I am also ace and the whole "speaking up" made me on many occasions want to cry and quit using tumblr altogether. It made me feel like I am told that the way I understand by own sexuality is wrong and bad, which as you can imagine is not the greatest message to get from "ace defenders".

See, OP does have a valid point but I think that being angry with how others want to do their own stories is not the way to go. Be the change you want to see in the world — make your own stories, art, etc, commission others to do it a certain way or suggest it when they have requests open — but don't push others down because you don't know who they are and how they experience what they see, yk? (Note: I'm not saying specifically that OP is attacking anyone because they clearly are not, they are mad at the whole phenomenon. But it happened many times before that people were aggressive and calling out/vague blogging about others in reference to the portrayal of that particular character. That being said, that post did call me aphobic so I'm a little offended about that one.)

From my ace side:

I personally find people aesthetically pleasing but not sexually attractive. Like it boggles my mind you can meet someone at a bar or sth and be like "I want to bang this person later tonight." At best I'd want to be friends.

But, while the concept of horizontal tango with anyone other than my significant other (which nota bene is super rare in the first place) repulses me INCREDIBLY, I love fictional smut of any kind because it isn't me and it's not happening in real life (and by the latter I mean it's not visually or tactilely realistic like for example porn videos are).

I like experiencing in fiction what I won't in real life. But I also like NOT experiencing things in fiction that I experience too much in real life. For example I often want to completely distance myself from the whole gender-sexuality stuff because I have to do with it too much and nothing being mentioned about any of that is actually quite nice.

In the same vein I personally find it unnecessary to specify someone's sexuality if it's not relevant to the story. For me it doesn't matter if a character is a gay/lesbian/ace/aro/straight/[inset your choice] if it's, let's say, no-romance, no-smut coffee shop AU about friendship that doesn't delve deeper into character design. I don't need it. A person is a person and I don't need a confirmation to headcanon whatever I want. And even if there is smut with an ace character, I know this character is ace regardless of the portrayal so it doesn't really grate on me at all.

BUT! That is my own personal preference. And I absolutely support you having your own preference! Just don't tell me mine is wrong.

This post is a good example of just that but within the trans community:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/srrrochka/667903163349843968

tl;dr of this rambling is: you do you, funky lil ace! but also let me do me, another funky lil ace! peace, love, and plants

[msgrumpygills]

Hi! I don't consider myself a active part of the SPN fandom but i do check in on your blog regularly and I really enjoy the space you give everyone.

I wanted to pitch in about the asexuality ask and reading Jared's rant as Aro-Ace affirming.

Because here is the thing, asexual relationships are not "platonic". Asexual relationships are not familial. Asexual relationships are not friendship+. They are not the "love you have for your child or your dog"

Asexual relationships are not by default aromantic (although sometimes ppl are both). Hell, not all asexual relationships are sexless either. Some of us feel no attraction and yet find the intimacy of sex to be comforting. We are all different and have our own set of complexities to negotiate. And i am sick of ppl using asexuality as a "no homo" get out of jail card when nothing in what they say even touches on the reality of being Ace.

Would i like more Ace relationships/representation? Yes. Would i like it as a "but they cant be gay" excuse? No thanks.. No.

I identify as asexual but not aromantic so i will not go into depth on the Aro perspective but i do know that aro queer platonic relationships also have their own set of intimacy habits. They are not the same as friendships or familial relationships or "love for your dog".

Both these identities deal with "normalized" expectations in unique ways and again, should not be used as an escape from or excuse against gay/bi reading.

This is not to say Ace headcanons are invalid and there is definite basis for reading Cas as Ace (although assigning asexuality to non human characters is a whole other can of worms that i'm not going to go into here). But that me having my head canon is different from actor man invalidating other queer ppl that fans decided to use my identity as an gotcha defence for.

(Post confession I have trouble reading Cas as Aro but if anyone still does..cool.... But that is ours and others should not get to use that as a shield to hide behind)

I am not sure how successfully i got my point across but yeah.. This was bothering me for a while.

Thank you for sharing your experience and your view! Like I said, I have almost no knowledge of ace/aro relationships or behaviors so I didn’t want to make statements or stances on behalf of ace/aro people. 

I think you got your point across well, anon! Thank you again for sharing! <3 Hopefully it can shed some light for others because I learned new things from you! 

[eirenical]

4 and 9 please?

OK, so since I'm still excited that you're in Guardian fandom now, I'll answer for Guardian. ;D

[If anyone else would like to send asks, here's the meme!]

General disclaimer: This is a salty ask meme. These are just my personal opinions; I am making no judgements here at all, and I will defend to the death anyone's right to like something I don't. So don't get on my back about it, please. Thank you.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

I do have a NoTP. I'm not so sure I'd say that they're a popular OTP? But I see them often enough as a side ship that they're possibly moderately popular? IDK. Anyway, it's Da Qing x Ye Zun. And it's not even that I have anything against them as a ship? I honestly think they'd have a really interesting dynamic together. But Da Qing reads SO HARD as aro/ace to me that I can't get my head to budge from it. And Ye Zun ALSO reads as aro/ace to me, just for different reasons. (Not AS attached to that particular headcanon, but it's still my default.) So, since I see Da Qing so strongly that way I just can't ship him with anyone, and Ye Zun is pretty close to the same. So that's like... instead back button for me if I get into a fic and see that ship. Sorry guys. OTZ Nothing personal. 9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

...does the Rebel Leader count? That guy was SUCH an abusive asshole. :P Minister Gao and Zhao Xinci are pretty high on my shit list, too. And Professor Ouyang. And I mean... power-hungry men who use their power to abuse and bully the people under them? Need I explain further? :P

[colorisbyshe]

(1/2) I know you said no discourse, but this is something that I feel hasn’t been discussed at all, so it might provide a new perspective? I am a late, late bloomer, meaning that I am almost 30 and I’ve never gone beyond 2nd base lol and I wish I had a dollar for every single freak that tried to force the asexual label on me.

(2/2) I haven’t explored my sexuality (my gay, GAY sexuality) like I want to because of debilitating trauma and mental illness, not because I don’t have a libido. Yet these idiots are constantly on the prowl to convert people like they’re Jehova’s Witnesses. It pisses me off. Ace discourse ruined useful discussions about sexuality.

Okay, I’m gonna be annoying for a second and make this about the anime I just watched.

Samurai Flamenco has a gay lead and a bisexual loe interest. Spoilers for a 5+ year old anime but it ends in a gay proposal but they never kiss or have sex and they are both explicitly virgins despite being 20 and 24 years old. The tag for this show is full of ace and aro headcanons for them. Because these men aren’t openly sexual and they need time to figure their own feelings out, they must be ace or demiromantic.

The main character is 20 and is just learning what love but that’s because he’s demiromantic, not because... he’s a kid? And kids take a while to learn what love is.

And this has happened with almost every canon LGBT character I have ever seen. There is an article, still up to this day, calling Chiron from Moonlight asexual and saying reception to this film GAYWASHED him. Not even a tumblr post but an actual published article, with a professional editors note as an apology for using the term gaywashing.

I’m bringing these things up because I think headcanons and commentary on gay characters is a fairly decent scope to view people’s real views of LGBT people. And the real view is: LGBT people are sex obsessed and promiscuous as default (even LGBT children and teens) and to deviate from that requires a modifying term. It needs to be clarified through the lens of asexuality or aromanticism.

While it is pretty common knowledge that lots of LGBT people are late bloomers—you spend more time figuring yourself out, there’s often more trauma or internalized stuff to work through, and it’s just... harder for find a partner if you’re the only gay person you know—there is an excess of “If you are older then your mid teens and still a virgin or haven’t dated yet, you must be ace/aro.”

Because LGBT people are horny to them and there’s no reason good enough for LGBT people to NOT be horny unless there’s a mitigating factor like asexuality. It’s almost like they want LGBT people to be ace or aro because it purifies our desire and makes us palatable. We are more relatable if we are sexless and loveless.

Instead of having robust and diverse personal journeys with sex and love, that often mean going sexless and loveless for long stretches of time (as many humans do!), we are given the options of “sex crazed and other” and “ace and just like me.”

I really do think eagerness to label people ace and aro often is just incompatible with open LGBT and even feminist discussions of sex, love, self love, trauma, and other complicated factors. The hostility towards sexual disorders (which do exist and aren’t aphobic), the immediate need to suggest internalized homophobia is asexuality, the fact that they’ll pay lip service to “Yeah, we’re okay with labels being fluid, lots of ace-labeled people might realize they aren’t ace” and then get mad at the suggestion that some people aren’t ace, they’re just on anti depressants... they’ve flattened how human sexuality works in a way that makes productive conversation impossible and it’s just downhill from there for LGBT people.

I’ll say again: I have no issue with asexuality and aromanticism as labels in theory or even offering them up to people struggling but in practice there are so many bad actors or just poor understandings of how sexuality works, especially when other factors are included, that I just side eye the entire affair. They can’t even handle LGBT people + sexuality, let alone how complicated things get when you include race, gender, class, and other identities into how you view and approach sex and attraction.

I just don’t trust like that at this point. We are better off reiterating, “It’s okay to never want sex or romance and to have those boundaries respected but it’s also okay to analyze why you don’t want those things. It’s okay for your attitude to change, too.” That trumps every piece of rhetoric aces have ever propagated.

[nonbinaryresource]

hi. i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work? i’m trans and when i listened to this artist’s work (harry styles - she & fine line) i connected with the songs immediately? i found a lot of people in the community who too connected to the songs and interpreted the lyrics as a struggle with one’s gender identity. at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong, but then after reading master posts i discovered that he constantly portrays gender in his work (using the trans flag on his album cover; being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.) and now i’m really confused. it feels comforting as a fan to relate to him and i, and a lot of other fans from the community, sometimes refer to him with he/she/they instead of he/him (he never said his pronouns are he/him). is that wrong? every time my (trans) friends and i refer to him with pronouns other than he/him or tell people not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that, other (usually cis. a trans fan called me transphobic and told me to stop seeking validation from cis white men.) fans will start calling us transphobic and delusional and attacking us to the point we had anxiety attacks over it? i’m just really confused right now. i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong. i’m not out to anyone irl and sometimes i wish people caught on to the little things i do and recognise that i am part of the community. i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

he has previously said that there are no lines between what's masculine and what's feminine for him anymore. i'm sorry this is so long and thank you

(You also sent in the song lyrics - thanks for the easy reference! - but I’m clipping those for length reasons.)

Disclaimer before I dig in: I am not a Harry Styles stan, I know very little about him, most of what I am going to say specifically about him is stuff I researched about specifically to answer this ask. I want to speak mostly generally to your question.

Okay, so you posed a pretty succinct, straight forward question. “i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work?“ However, there’s also a lot of context to this ask that makes things not so straight forward, and there are several distinct issues touched upon here I want to delve into. But it seems a good a starting place as any to start with the direct question you asked.

Yes, of course it’s okay to find your own meaning in art and role models and relate to art your way from your perspective based on your experience. In fact, that’s nearly the entire purpose of art! And it makes sense too, that we as social creatures would look up to and be inspired by celebrities, artists, mentors, role models, etc. Feeling connected to and less alone because someone in the spotlight plays with gender presentation like you might or want to makes a lot of sense!

However, we have to remember that A) sometimes art is just art, and B) someone being in the spotlight doesn’t mean we actually know or understand them or are/should act familiar with them.

As an example, a couple years back, Will Jay released a song called “Never Been in Love” that pretty much exploded with aros and aces and became a bit of an anthem for a lot of us. Many wondered if he was aspec himself and there was a lot of queries about it (and I saw quite a few blogs reminding folk that they were allowed to relate to the song even if it meant something different to Will Jay or he wasn’t actually aspec). Earlier this year, he released the song “Lies” where he admits that he was writing songs he thought people would relate to and he actually had been in love even before writing “Never Been In Love”. That should do nothing to diminish how meaningful the song was to people, though! If we related to the song, we related to the song, and if it was meaningful and made us feel seen and understood, that’s great! A lot of times, art is personal, but sometimes art is just an exploration.

This concept applies even more to people themselves. It is soooo easy to idolize and romanticize people you’ve never actually met and really only see the persona they want you to see. Yes, they share personal information with the world and they experience a general lack of privacy that makes you feel like yeah, you really know who they are. But how can you really, personally, intimately know someone without interacting with them, chatting with them, getting to know them one on one? It’s fine to have role models and feel represented by and relate to a celebrity - just do not lose sight of the fact that what you’re feeling is personal feeling on your own end. It’s not something that this celebrity has actually built with you.

To put this another way: it is fine to headcanon fictional characters, but it’s not okay to headcanon real people.

Now, what I’m building up to here is that there are a lot of assumptions I am seeing - from both sides - that we cannot truly know because all we know is what Harry [or anyone] chooses to share with us. I’d like to break this down by going through some specific points.

at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong

Okay, there are two sides to this.

1) It is wrong to apply a gender label/descriptor to someone without their permission.

2) In a cisnormative society, “cis” is the default gender label/descriptor to apply to everyone, and that’s equally wrong, so I get why it feels like a rebellion of the system to go “well, there are Reasons they could be trans, so I’m just going to go ahead and call them trans”.

We should get away from automatically labeling everyone as “cis”. However, the way we fix this isn’t to just decide we get to apply whatever label/descriptor to someone we want.

If someone hasn’t clarified or specified their gender (and you can’t/it isn’t a good or safe idea to ask them), it’s the safest bet to go by what they seem to be majority being called or what you can find of them referring to themself as.

In some cases, when someone seems to be specifically avoiding labeling themselves or uncomfortable with labeling themselves, it may be most comfortable for you to also avoid labeling them just as much as possible.

being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.)

It’s worth considering - is this something for friends only? Or is it open to fans and other public sectors?

Usually if something is for friends only, it’ll be kept out of public eye, but if only friends are doing this, is this something that is only being shared with you or is it something you’re entitled to as well?

Aaaaaaaaalso, it has to be pointed out that it’s binarist and cisnormative in it’s own way to equate different names/pronouns automatically with being trans or being a specific trans identity. Wanting to get pregnant? Do you know how many cis women I’ve heard go on and on about wanting a penis so they can pee standing up (like... all of them anytime we’re outside or camping)? Plenty of cis people use pronouns you might not expect! You don’t have to be trans/nonbinary to use multiple or ‘atypical’ pronouns. Cis people are allowed to use other pronouns as well! They’re allowed to have names typically associated with other genders! Not all gender nonconforming or genderqueer people/people queering gender are trans! Not everybody exploring their gender nor gender presentation is trans!

not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that

It’s great to not assume someone is cis! But that doesn’t automatically make them trans.

i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong.

Do you specifically, absolutely need to gender someone in order to relate to them?

i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

I’ve only recently seen a tiny bit of this ‘discourse’ around on twitter, but what I see is a few issues/points:

A) It’s not up to us to claim someone as trans if they have not come out as trans. Coming out is an extremely personal choice and should be up to each individual. “Claiming” them is basically dragging them into something that very well may be not theirs. And if it is theirs, why would you want to steal that moment of getting to determine and declare that away from them?

B) We are all so done with cis, able-bodied white folk being prioritized above the rest of the queer community!!! There are actual, legitimate, out trans people that can be your trans role models and they’re being shoved to the back of the closet in favor of a privileged, white Schrödinger’s Trans. Let’s uplift our actual community instead of getting stuck on someone who may or may not be a part of community - and may not even want to be a part of it!

All that being said, I do want to say something really quickly on Harry himself because it ties back into the assumptions we’ve been talking about. Harry’s sexuality has long been a question on fans and journalists minds, and Harry has pretty consistently made it clear that he’s not really interested in labels or boxes. Harry’s gender is not something that has been asked about, talked about, or answered on much. And his comment on masculinity and femininity? Let’s remember that, like pronouns, masculinity and femininity don’t automatically or inherently relate to one specific gender or not. And, quite frankly, it is faucet of toxic masculinity and cissexism to equate a gnc man/man in a dress with being trans. Men are allowed to wear dresses and makeup and heels! Men are allowed to be soft and nurturing and to cry! Cis or trans, men are allowed to be these things, and arguing that they’re trans simply for doing or being any of these does continue to enforce dangerous and strict views of the gender binary.

Okay, it feels like I kinda put you through the wringer, so I want to go back and reiterate: it is 100% valid to relate to and feel connected to/inspired by someone on the basis of their presentation and gender exploration. It is not valid to claim ownership over their identity because of this. It is possible for two people to experience same or similar things and yet come to different conclusions about themselves!

If Harry Styles as an icon is important to you, I’m glad you can have that! But not everyone will or has to share your connection, and the only one actually qualified to speak on Harry’s gender is Harry himself. Harry could be trans, but it’s his right and his right only to claim that label. Any assuming we do is just that: an assumption. And I want you to be careful with your own feelings getting too attached to the image of Harry you’ve built up in your own head only to potentially have them shattered if Harry decides to speak on things and it turns out his feelings don’t mean what you thought.

Your identity is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. You feeling validated and seen and represented by Harry’s actions is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. It’s great to have role models and be inspired by people, but remember that at the end of the day, you need to be able to rely on yourself to keep up your ego and determine your sense of self.

~Pluto

[ekjohnston]

I know you probably can't say specifics, but I'm curious if you have any aro or ace headcanons for other Star Wars characters.

so, so many. I basically default to demi across the board, since that’s what I am, and my sense of romance leans heavily towards friendship anyway (as you may have noticed from how I write Sabé and Padmé), which I realize is not the usual definition, but if you use the word “platonic” a *great* number of people jump straight to “less important”.

I like (grey) ace Rey tremendously (I ship JediStormPilot, but in a “pile of hugs and full stomachs” kind of way, first, before anyone does any kissing). I also like the idea of aro/ace Ahsoka, because the other bonds in her life are SO IMPORTANT and her heart is so, so big. Padmé’s not *quite* ace, obviously, but she’s incredibly married to her JOB before anything else, and sometimes that gets weird.

Palpatine is not cool enough to be ace.

(ALL OF THIS IS ME AS A FAN, OBVIOUSLY)

[allexiaah]

do you have any aspec headcanons for any dbd characters? (can be for killers or survivors, or both, your choice)

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU JUST BROUGHT UPON YOURSELF ANON I've got SO many aspec hcs! I project so hard hahah

-The one I am most confident of is Claudette, who I headcanon as asexual and aromantic! She's one of my favorite characters, and definitely one of the ones I project on the most. I think that she's just not comfortable with the idea of relationships that much, and they're just not something she's keen on herself. I'd say sex-repulsed and romance-indifferent for her. She loves her friends to death and would kill for them, and god I love her for that.

-Philip's another character I really like and project on a little too. I see him as asexual, and I'm leaning towards gay? I haven't thought all that much about it though.

The rest of these I haven't thought about as much, and might change the better my grasp on the characters get over time.

-Jake definitely seems ace to me, and maybe demiromantic and bisexual

-I definitely headcanon Jeff as aro!

-I feel like Adam could be ace/aro as well! He seems like he could be.

-I think after all she's been through, Laurie isn't particularly keen on relationships, at least until she gets over some of her trauma. She's definitely asexual in my eyes, and demiromantic.

-Quentin to me is pan and asexual!

-Yui gives me aro lesbian vibes. Respect to her honestly. Queen

-Rin and Sally give me ace vibes, and Michael I strongly headcanon as aro, or aro/ace!

Most of the other characters I don't have enough of a grasp on to really say anything about, because I'd just be going off of how I feel about their lore or how they look and that sort of thing, or maybe I missed someone. I find that I tend to default to ace for most characters until I get a good grasp on what their identity might actually be, because that's what I am, so it's sort of what I default to.

Thank you for the ask! I'm glad I could go off about these, because my aspec headcanons are pretty close to my heart and I don't see enough of them out there. I'm glad I can share my own. I'd love to see more out there, but a lot of people don't have them. But tysm for the ask again! This was very fun to answer. Love you anon ^^

[braveblackbutterfly]

SU Spoilers....kinda?

So according to a storyboarder who worked on Steven Universe Future, Peridot is asexual/aromatic, which is cool I guess. We need more ace/aro representation in media.

...but I don’t know why I don’t feel 100% on board with this information. I guess maybe because Rebecca herself didn’t reveal this. Also, because I know a lot of fans including one of my friends headcanon Peridot as autistic. And I don’t like the idea of making (all) autistic and other neurodivergent characters/people seem uninterested in romantic relationships, or incapable of being in a relationship.

I am no way an expert on this since I’m not ace/aro or autisic. I just don’t want all creatives to make their autistic characters ace/aro by default if that makes sense.