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wtffundiefamilies · 4 years ago

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This is from 2013, but holy hell I hope Anna finds it. Entirety of the post beneath the cut; it’s both long and not something people should read with no warning. But I wanted to copypaste in case the link goes down one day. It’s insane to me that these “little details” and “clues” are obvious and screaming red flags to people raised in a normal world. (And no, looking at legal porn is not a “red flag” that someone is a child molester. But, like...again, given the circumstances I’m not sure what we’d expect; we all saw what Jessa said.) It’s part one of a series, and it’s amazing just how much this dude sounds like Josh. And how much their “courtship” sounds like Josh and Anna’s.

Part of my mission, my purpose in life, is to educate others about child predators. I’m not here to stir up some kind of crazy hype, but to present the facts and to give you a bit of insight as to what happened in my own life. How was I so blinded to the fact that for forty years I was living with a practicing pedophile? How did I not see the signs? How did I not pick up on something being very wrong with the man I married?

The truth is that I sensed something was wrong even before we got married, but I didn’t listen to my inner being. I didn’t pay attention to those nudgings that something was wrong. Why? Because as a Christian it had been taught to me from little up that people who went to church were good, honest, moral people. I was taught to trust people who said they believed in God and followed His teachings. And, I did just that. I was, unfortunately, one of the most trusting women who ever walked the face of the earth!

Pay attention to this, please! Just because a person tells you that they walk by the teachings of God does not mean it’s true. In fact, the word of God warns us against “wolves in sheep’s clothing”, and I learned first-hand just what that meant. But, it would be years before my eyes were totally opened to this fact. As a bit of background information, I came from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was fourteen, a sister of mine died when she was thirteen, my mother was an alcoholic, and my father was by today’s terms a “dead beat dad.” Needless to say, I longed for a different life, and I prayed constantly that God would send a good, righteous, faithful Christian into my life so that I could build a home on godly principles and a firm foundation.

I worked hard all through high school so that I could go to college. But, I didn’t want to go to just any college. It had to be a Christian college because I sincerely believed that was the only place I would ever meet a Christian man to marry. Because I worked so hard all through high school, I earned a four-year scholarship to a four-year state school. BUT, you guessed it! The idea of finding and marrying a Christian man was so ingrained in my heart and mind by now that I passed up the scholarship and instead went to a very small, two-year Christian College. Little did I know that this one decision would lead to so much heartache for me and for those who are most special in my life — my children. While it’s true that we can’t see around every bend in the road, there are signs and signals along the way. I didn’t pay attention to anyone who tried to talk to me. One thing was on my mind — finding a Christian mate!

Every person wants to feel special, and longs to be told that they stand out among all of the rest. During the summer between my first and second year of college I met a young man who was articulate, bright, funny, witty, and who also told me that I stood out. He was spending the summer at college and so was I. A friendship developed, and even though I was engaged to marry someone else, this young man worked very hard every day to convince me that I was with the wrong person. He pointed out all of the flaws of the man whose ring I was wearing until he finally convinced me to break off the engagement. That’s a story in and of itself — maybe I’ll share that with you another day.

What was a bit strange to me was that the man I would soon marry had a quiet control over me like nobody ever had before. Even though I had low self-esteem I was used to making my own decisions and being very independent. For the first time in my life I found I was reporting my every move to this quiet, shy young man. He told me I was special. He said out of all the girls on campus I was the only one that he thought was pretty and was a true Christian. He told me just what I wanted to hear. It was the word “Christian” that nailed me! I knew he was the one I had been praying about since my youth!

One of the greatest stories my now ex-husband loved to tell was how he spotted me from across campus and said to his roommate, “See that girl? I’m going to marry her.” This was totally absurd because at the time he said that we had not even met! He later told me he would hide and watch me — study me — and he knew my schedule, when I was going to eat, when I’d walk back to campus, when I would go to work. He said, “I knew everything about you. I knew where you were from morning until night. I knew I would marry you.”

Instead of being freaked out and thinking this guy was some kind of stalker psycho, I was flattered. “He chose me.” Out of all of the girls around, he chose me and that again was more evidence of answered prayers. Deep inside, though, was a gnawing feeling that something wasn’t right. He didn’t talk much. And, for a man who said he loved God, he made fun of people in a mean way. He mocked people’s insecurities. Yes, you guessed it! He mocked me on several occasions and I felt like a piece of dirt he had stepped on. He made fun of the size of my nose. He made fun of my feet calling them “hammer head toes.” He made fun of the space I have between my teeth. I cried myself to sleep many, many nights, but still……..he was a Christian man, and he was so nice when we were together in public. He opened the car door for me (it was my car, by the way). He paid the bill when we went out to eat and left a nice tip. (It was my money that he used.) He talked me into giving him my car (which I had since I was 16) and I found myself asking him for permission to use my own car. This was really weird!

Why did I put up with it? Why does anybody put up with abuse? Because they’ve been so used to being beaten down that they think this is the norm. Please, please — if you’re in a situation like this run for your life!!! This is NOT the way a good relationship works! And, it’s a red flag indicator of many other problems — in my case, it was a big red flag that I was being masterfully manipulated. Groomed to be the wife of a pedophile who was already deeply involved in porn and child sexual molestation!

Learn to listen for “clues” that a decision you’re making might not be right. I had BIG clues that I passed off as “odd”, “not making much sense”, “silly”, or “not that big of a deal.”

Clue 1: For the last four months we dated, my fiance was in Israel doing overseas study. We corresponded by letter only. We were to get married less than one week after he arrived back in the states. In his letters he would write to tell me how he would hide behind the grasses on the beach and watch girls changing out of their clothes and swimming nude. He said he’d skip class and stay there all day. In other words, he was openly telling me he was a “peeping Tom.” This was a test of how far he could manipulate me and I passed with flying colors! I never questioned him about it. Oh, I cried lots, but I never questioned him!

Clue 2: He told me while we were dating that he and one of his cousins spent the summers together and they would steal cartons of cigarettes from stores and sneak out of the house at night and smoke the cigarettes and look at “porn” all night long. Another test! I looked at him quietly but never questioned him. If you want to know the truth — I didn’t even know what porn was!!!!! I had to ask my college roommates. Again, I was being tested. Could he get away with doing things right under my nose? Sure he could. I’d never question a man of God!

Clue 3: He was almost 21 and his favorite job was to “babysit all the little kids at church for free because he loved to give them baths and powder their little butts.” I’m totally sick now as I write these words. Why in heaven’s name didn’t I run from this man? There were so many clues that something was wrong, and I passed them off as being a little odd. Nothing more — just a little bit odd. In fact, I actually thought this was kind of nice. I never saw my father get involved in parenting like that, and I thought, “Wow! This man will make a wonderful father!”

Porn. Lying. Peeping Tom. A young man who loves bathing and powdering little kids. Masterfully manipulating. Gaining the trust of adults. (Church people loved him babysitting their kids!)

I was another one of his victims. I was being set up. I was being groomed I would be the perfect alibi for his continued evil behavior. He was calculating. He studied me. He used me. He used my faith as a means to get what he wanted. He knew what he was doing! His actions were no mistake. He worked very hard to plan every detail.

Listen up everyone! Please don’t do as I did! If your gut is telling you something is wrong, it probably is!!! Pay attention to the little details and the little voice that is whispering something is wrong!!!

This is just the beginning of my story. I will share more in the weeks to come in hopes that others will not be blinded to the facts as I was. We must get educated about child sexual molesters so that we can protect life’s most precious blessings — our children!

Why am I sharing the ugly, sad parts of my life? That’s simple. Because children are beautiful. Children are precious. Children deserve to be protected. Statistics (according to information found here ) tell us that 1 in every 3 girls and 1 in every 6 boys are molested by the age of 18. Please help me to stop this! Let’s get educated! Let’s do all we can to make it incredibly difficult for the molester! Let’s be vigilant on behalf of our children — at all times!!!

Every child should have the ability to grow up feeling safe and loved and whole and pure!

It isn’t easy or comfortable for me to write about this, but I must. I must take this terribleness and do something positive with it. I must work for the safety of our children. Thanks so much for stopping by and for taking the time to read this. Thanks even more for making yourself more aware of what is going on right under our noses — in our schools, our churches, our camps, our homes. Let’s do all we can to work together to make this a safe place for our children!

Love, Clara

#clara hinton #sin in the camp

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raisingsupergirl · 4 years ago

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I'm Back! Returning to the "Real World" After Six Weeks Unplugged and Undrugged

If I'm being honest, I don't really want to write this post. I don't want to go back to the way things were. It feels like returning from vacation on a Sunday evening and setting my work alarm for Monday morning. I know my next vacation won't come for a while. I know I'm "back in it" now. And the sensation is completely opposite of what I'd expected from all of the "restrictions" I put on myself six weeks ago. But I'm sure you're just dying to know how I did, so here goes.

I failed. A lot. Just like I said I would. And the number one thing I failed at was reading to my kids. I tried it. Once. I started Harry Potter, but it felt like pulling teeth. I didn't enjoy it. The kids didn't enjoy it (even though I poured all of my energy into the BEST character voices). But even if I didn't read to my children, at least I didn't fail completely at reading. In fact, I stayed pretty true to my goal of replacing my weeknight TV with reading (with a subtle exception… but I'll get to that later), and it was honestly one of the biggest successes of all. Just an hour or two of quiet entertainment and contemplation in the evenings (whether with a Bible devotional or a bloody space adventure) did wonders for my mood and sleep habits. And speaking of sleep habits…

I failed at that, too. Again, not completely, but I definitely didn't live up to the whole bargain. I don't care how comfortable I got with going to bed at 9:45 pm and waking up at 5:45 am, when I would get home from work at 9:15 at night, there was no way I was going to have time to eat, shower, and wind down enough to be asleep within thirty minutes. And so, I bent the rules a little. But never more than an hour. And that's where I found my rhythm. I would never go to bed or wake up more than an hour different than I did the day before. That compromise allowed me to adjust slowly to different schedules without suffering too much.

Interestingly enough, the things I succeeded at completely are the things that sound like the biggest commitments. I worked out every day without fail, I didn't get on social media or YouTube, and I cut out all drugs (aka alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, night time snacking, and weekday fast food) cold turkey, right down to my morning pre-workout drink, which has a little caffeine in it. I'm not sure exactly why these things were easier to stick to. I'm sure a part of it has to do with my particular personality, but I suspect the bigger part is the nature of these things. They're easier to define. Easier to grasp and control. So what's the big deal about sleeping in a few extra minutes on the weekends (half-asleep rationale is always a little bit skewed…)? Why should I fight to read to my kids if they don't even enjoy it? But exercise and diet are very external. They're obvious to myself and to others when I screw them up. There's more accountability, so they're not as easy to make excuses for. The hardest promises to keep are the ones nobody knows about.

And… there's a third factor, and I hinted at it earlier. Remember when I said I didn't TECHINCALLY stick to the "no TV during the week" goal? Well, I didn't "watch" TV during the week, per se. But that's because I was playing a video game. A video game called "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild." And, well, I was completely unprepared for it. First, Zelda is my jam. Always has been since I was a wee lad. Like most functioning adults, I fell away from video games after high school because I was trying to make all the monies and didn't have time to spend six hours at a time in front of a screen. But when Santa brought us a Nintendo Switch for Christmas, I knew there was a game I "had" to try. And, well, BotW didn't disappoint. Those who have played Skyrim or other open-world games would have known what they were in for, but I didn't.

The moment I popped open that glider and drifted off of the Great Plateau, the real world faded away. This game had no limits. No boundaries. It's impossible to describe my awe at that slow and continuing realization as I delved into underground temples, climbed distant peaks, and trudged through vast deserts, so I won't try. Those who think video games are "a waste of time" will never get it, and those who embrace the value of story telling already know what I'm talking about. Suffice it to say that I "did the Zelda things." Not all the things, mind you. I didn't find all the koroks, beat all the shrines, or kill all the lynels, but I DID awaken the Divine Beasts, sneak into the castle dungeon to claim the Hylian shield, tame the royal mare, ride all the animals, build Tarry Town from the ground up, and head butt a guardian to death with the Lord of the Mountain. I trudged through every region and stared out at the realm from the highest spire of Hyrule castle. In the end, I defeated Calamity Ganon and brought peace to the land. And in that triumphant moment, I finally realized the truth about the game…

It was just another drug. You see, I never did have a real urge to sit down to a whiskey and a pile of snacks on a Saturday night, even though that had become an engrained habit over the past year. Why? Because I had an entire world to explore and save! And I needed to stay hydrated and healthy to beat the biggest baddies in Hyrule. The game completely overshadowed other primal urges. Any time I was feeling lazy or weak—times when I would look for a quick, mindless reward—I would pick up the Switch controller. And sometimes, that would be during the week. In fact, all told, I played 110 hours over six weeks. That's around two-and-a-half hours a day, EVERY day! So the amount of time I would have generally wasted with social media, TV, or "drugs," I instead committed to Zelda.

In the end, I'm not sure what to think about the whole six-week experience. I do know that I grew closer to God. My thoughts cleared significantly. I experienced deeper and wider peace, seeing previously scary and stressful situations with new clarity and confidence. I loved my family more completely, and I committed harder to my duties (work, family, etc). But I had low moments, too. Not enough to hit rock bottom or consider giving up, but because I knew what it felt like to ride that "high" with my savior and creator, to be present in the moment with a sense of purpose and appreciation, every moment of minor disconnection or apathy hit me harder than it normally would have. So I guess everything is relative. Once we know just how good we can feel, our expectations rise. On the other hand, my perspective has changed regarding rewards and fulfillment. A moment of earned relaxation or celebration doesn't need to include a glass of wine. I don't "need" to stay up late and sleep in on the weekends. And most importantly, my joy comes from God, not from the things I do, but there ARE some things that keep me away from God's joy. Mostly things that become habit—things I fall back on when I want to "check out."

And I guess that's the whole point. When we're present and intentional, life's good. We're happy with our choices and usually with the results. But when we're exhausted, when we've given all we can and think we've earned some reward (or at least a break)… well, that's when we make mistakes. And that's when we should just go to bed. Sure, maybe a little reading to calm us down and get our minds right first, but we're never at our worst than when we're mentally tapped out. And so, I plan to be more aware of this fact through the rest of the year. I'm going to continue to cut out electronics during the week. I'm going to avoid the Facebook scroll (which doesn't appeal to me even a little bit anymore). I'm going to enjoy sunrises and cuddles. And, most importantly, I'm going to create the time and space for quiet thought and divine whispers.

That's my secret to happiness. Do less (especially less "check out" activities like Twitter and television) and think more. Talk less and listen more. Let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no." In other words, live a life that speaks for itself and don't feel the need to justify your thoughts and actions to everyone. Live lightly, love deeply, and let the rest wash away with the tide. That's all I've got, friends. And you know what? This post was actually a joy to write. I'm excited to be back, to see my friends again, to share what I've learned with you, and to learn FROM you. And most importantly, I’m excited to enjoy all the beauty that the real world has to offer...

#lent 2021 #lent #social media fast #unplugged #take time to unplug #soberissexy #religion #christianity #minimalism #mindfulness #zelda #botw screenshots #botw #momblr #mumblr #dadblr

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butterbeeryuta · 4 years ago

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chapter 3: first fights and an omelette

A perfect world doesn’t exist, and what’s a better way to express it than our afterlife being filled with things that is terrible for our own eyes? Clearly, Hell 127, or whoever the fuck runs this place, knows that themselves. We were all in our pyjamas, or clothes I guess since Yuna was wearing a Balenciaga shirt. Maybe she died from finding out one of her Nike shoes was fake. If I have to be honest, that’s one impressive way to die. All of us were sitting in silence, obviously unsure of how to deal with the ongoing situation of our rooms. Donghyuck was biting his nails, while Ryujin still maintained to keep her aura as earlier, almost as if nothing scared her. If there was anyone who was clearly traumatised, it was Mark. The poor guy had to be carried out by Johnny cause he just could not deal with the pictures of bugs.

‘So… the rooms are clearly everything we hate’ I quietly said, breaking the ice in the room. Everyone turned their heads towards me, processing the obvious words I just spoke. Taeil, the man who laughed at his own death, just nodded at me. My eyes scanned the room, trying to see if anyone had anything to say, because my people-reading skills are just that good. And just like how any teacher would see their students after asking a question, everyone was avoiding eye contact with you. Sighing, I decided to do the most embarrassing thing so far since nothing can beat choking on a goddamn muffin.

‘Okay kids! Let’s all put our thinking caps on and hold our brush— actually don’t hold anything. Instead of just sitting in silence, let’s all work together as a group to find different solutions to our problem—‘

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ Yuta interrupted, visibly disliking my approach to get shit solved from the his tone and raise of his eyebrows.

‘Okay redhead, you died from running into a wall cause you were a criminal so you don’t have any say in this.’ I retorted, refusing to take any sort of crap from this man who is just sitting idly.

‘As if you’re any better babe, we’re both in this place for eternity and you’ve got to get used to me hun. Perhaps I can shows you a few skills of mine that I’ve picked up over the years, and trust me, you’ll surely like me the moment I—‘

‘Oh my god ew, why are men like this?’ Rosé disgustingly, and thankfully, interferes. Although she has been one of the quieter people in this group, I already love her.

‘Hey! Not all of us are like him. He just hasn’t been laid for a bit and get the suck of his afterlife’ Jaemin answers with his sneaky yet attractive smirk of his. Mark was already turning red from all the sexual references, and it was cute and funny. He was probably the only valid person in this friend group. And Rosé. Maybe I have a crush on Rosé. More and more people began to comment on each other’s opinion, and well, our first fight begun.

‘You’re such a child! You’ve been doing nothing but cowering yourself, and now that I talk about why watermelons suck you put your big boy pants on?’ Momo questioned Mark.

‘Well of course I will! Watermelons are light and tasty and refreshing, how can you not like it? It’s one of god’s best creations.’ He responds nonchalantly, keeping his chin up to prove to the woman that he is confident in his words.

‘Sweetie, there’s no god we’re all in hell.’ She comments rather quickly, having Mark to doubt himself. She did have a good point though.

‘We’re going out of hand here, we need to talk about solutions to the rooms—‘

‘WELL FUCK YOU RYUJIN, I AT LEAST HAD AMAZING FOLLOWERS AND GOT FREE STUFF!’ Hello?

‘And I am 99% sure that more than half of your followers are creepy old men, and that is nothing to brag about babe’ the other girl spat back, which did not help at all cause more begin to fight with another.

‘ENOUGH! SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN AND GET OVER YOURSELF. You opinion isn’t better than anyone else’s, so deal with it and be a whole fucking adult’ I shouted, which effectively led to the group shutting up for once, and they slowly took a seat on the couch. Maybe I should’ve been a teacher for teenagers and young adults. I cleared my throat once more, and began to speak.

‘So… rooms? I don’t know how we all began to fight, but we need to get it sorted tonight so that we can sleep in peace and have a better morning tomorrow’ you said, hoping all of them were listening to your every word.

‘I remember how we fought…’ Yuta whispered, but it was loud enough for me to hear. I gave him a sour smile, not wanting to spark another fight between all of us. Before I could pitch out more ideas and thoughts to hopefully encourage the others to speak up, sweet baby watermelon-protector Mark cleared his throat.

‘How ‘bout if we switch rooms? You know, rooms where none of us will be freaked out in our sleep?’ He suggested. Oh. Oh wow. Why didn’t I think of that?

‘I’m sleeping in my own room’ Ryujin said without hesitation. I wanted to ask her if she was okay with it, but she probably didn’t want anyone to know her fear. Or perhaps there’s a deeper reason behind everything she does that forms this mysterious atmosphere around her, or that could probably just be me.

‘So we going ahead with Mark’s idea?’

So, we didn’t go ahead with Mark’s idea because well… we ended up arguing with who gets which room. People were fighting for mine since it was the ‘least disturbing,’ but I personally found Yuna’s the easiest to live in; it was just a lot of dots and circles. If you were smart enough, you can just connect the dots with a marker and create another form of art. She was probably trypophobic. Instead, we ended up bringing our mattresses downstairs and spreading all 13 from the living room to the kitchen. Love that for us.

‘OH MY GOD JAEMIN OUT ON SOME PANTS’ Rosé screams covering her eyes immediately with her blanket. And like an idiot, I turned towards him and… he was just in his boxers. Huh.

‘Looking good Jaems’ Yuta said, which was soon followed by a loud smack on the butt. Ouch. Ignoring everything, I tucked myself under the sheets, not wanting to be bothered.

‘Hey _________?’ Well I was wrong. Thanks Mark. Removing myself from the sheets, my eyes met with Mark’s pretty eyes, causing me to startle for a second. He looked lost. Almost in need of help if I may add. ‘Sorry for disturbing you but, can you help me c-cook something? I’m in the mood for an omelette but I just don’t know how to make one’ Mark quietly requests as he looked down at his socks-covered toes. So, Mark Lee decides to get me to move out of my bed because he doesn’t know how to make an omelette. What am I going to do with this kid? And because I’m a weak bitch, of course I chose to help him.

a/n: IM SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY!!!! i lost so much motivation, and i was honestly considering of scrapping this fic cause i felt like i couldn’t execute what i wanted to write properly. i think i tried to write this chapter a good 6 times(?) but it just wasn’t good enough for me. i also don’t think what i wrote not is great either, but it definitely helps me to write a better upcoming chapter for a better development between the reader and mark. i’m thinking just 4 more parts and this short fic will come to an end hehe. so yes, IM SO SO SO SO SORRY HUHUHUHUHU. i’ll try my best to write better and post more quicker. i completely understand if you are unhappy w my progress.

taglist: @lelenoir @murasakillmepls @neolights @anothermessedupbitch @miyayassy @lavellanfriendliness

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hotforharrison · 5 years ago

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Turning Tables: Part 1 (Repost)

So, the original post got flagged for adult content, which sucks, but I redid the moodboard, which probably was the problem. I honestly should have read the guidelines. I thought it was just about explicit things, which it’s not. Whatever.

Moving on...

Series Masterlist --> Part 2 (Tom/Harrison/Reader content)

Pairing: Tom Holland/Reader (later Tom Holland/Harrison Osterfield/Reader)

Summary: After 3 years together, Tom wants to spice things up in the bedroom in unexpected ways.

Word Count: 2,031

Warnings: Smut and language. Also, this fic contains explicit depictions of pegging. What is pegging, you ask? I have an answer for you! “Pegging is a sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo.”

If you aren’t interested in reading that sort of content, please don’t read it anyway and send me hate. I would very much appreciate that, please and thank you.

A/N: This is the kinkiest thing I’ve ever written, and I am honestly kind of hesitant to post it at all because I’ve been warned that people tend to get hate from posting kinky things.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” Tom started.

You looked up. “Should this be making me nervous?”

“No, not at all. It’s nothing bad, I promise. So, we’ve been together for three years now,”

“Wait, is it our anniversary?” you asked, panicking that you’d forgotten. Again.

He chuckled. “No, darling, that’s next month.”

You sighed in relief.

“Anyway, I was thinking we should spice things up in the bedroom,” he finished.

“Are you bored with our sex life?” you asked, concerned.

“No, of course not,” he reassured you. “I’m perfectly happy with our sex life as it is right now. I just thought it would be fun and exciting to try new things.”

“Like what?” You were very curious what he had in mind.

“Well, maybe we could check out a sex shop soon. We haven’t played with toys all that much,” he suggested. “At the very least, it could spark some ideas, I think.”

You nodded. “I’m game.”

-----

And that was how you found yourself feeling lost in the middle of a sex shop after midnight on a Wednesday night, technically Thursday morning. Your hand was sweating against the handle of the red shopping basket you carried.

Tom was significantly more comfortable, going through racks of lingerie at the front of the store while you stood next to him, feeling awkward.

He held up a pair of black stockings with garters. “You would look sexy in these, maybe with...this?” He held up a black lacy crotchless teddy.

“I’d be willing to wear it for you,” you told him. You’d be willing to do almost anything for him.

“We’ll get them, then,” he said, tossing them in the basket. “But come on, let’s go see what we came to look at.”

You followed him toward the back of the store and the walls of peg hooks and displays holding a large variety of sex toys, pretty much everything you could think of off the top of your head, and some things that wouldn’t have occurred to you at all.

He plucked a hooked pink vibrator off the hook. “You like g-spot stimulation with my fingers.”

“Yeah,” you quietly agreed, and watched as he tossed it into the basket.

Next, he picked up a vibrating cock ring. “This we could use together.”

You just nodded, and it also went into the basket.

“Hmmm, what else?” he said to himself, walking down the wall and perusing the toys.

He paused in front of a section, looking pensive, before he held up a small vibrating butt plug.

You huffed a laugh. “Guys, always willing to dish out the butt stuff, but I bet you wouldn’t be willing to take it.”

His expression was unreadable, which made you a little nervous. You watched him skim the wall, before grabbing a couple of things and return with them -- a strap-on and a slim dildo, which he held above the basket, not dropping them inside. “You were saying, darling?”

“Holy shit.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you knocked them down into the basket, a deep pink blush crossing your cheeks.

“Thought so,” he said, obviously smug.

-----

After you got home, the toys ended up in a storage basket in the closet. They stayed there unopened and untouched for a week while you thought about them entirely too much -- specifically, the strap-on.

Tom was at a meeting and wasn’t due home for a couple hours. You had plenty of time to yourself.

You stripped and put on the lingerie first slowly, like a form of foreplay. Then, you opened the box containing the strap-on. After attaching the small dildo, you put it on and looked at yourself in the full-length mirror, turning to admire yourself.

“Babe, the meeting was-” he started, before he saw you. His bag fell to the floor.

“I, uh, I’m…” you trailed off.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous is what you are,” he told you, sincerely. “Can I?”

You nodded.

He ran his fingers over your body through the lacy lingerie, cupping your breasts and rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, reaching around you to squeeze your ass.

Then, he dropped to his knees and lightly kissed your stocking clad legs, starting with your calves and traveling his way up until he was faced with the strap-on.

“What are you?” you asked.

Instead of answering, he licked the dildo from root to tip and took it in his mouth, eyes meeting yours while he fellated the toy.

You buried your hands in his curls as he worked ‘your’ cock, and tentatively said, “such a good boy for me, Tom.”

He moaned around the dildo.

That emboldened you. “Are you going to let me fuck you, sweetheart?”

Another moan and a nod.

“I’ll make you feel so good,” you promised, “just like you made me feel good my first time.”

He popped off of the toy and stood up, going over to the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, tossing it on the bed.

While he quickly discarded his clothes on the floor, you got on the bed, sitting down near the pillows. “I, well, I don’t know how to do this. I don’t want to hurt you. I mean, I haven’t even done this to myself.”

“I, well, I have,” he admitted, “so I can tell you what to do.”

“Like with toys?” you asked.

“Just my fingers so far,” he answered.

The thought was more of a turn on than you’d imagined it would be. You squirmed on the bed, arousal insistent. “And you like it?”

“No, I hated it,” he teased. “Really, though, it feels amazing, and I’ve wanted to try this with you for a long time. Just wasn’t sure how to bring it up, or if you’d be into the idea.”

You took his hand and moved it between your thighs, already slick with your wetness.

“Christ,” he groaned. “Makes me want to fuck you now.”

“Later.” The thought was appealing, but not as appealing as the prospect of turning the tables. “Tell me how to do this. I want to make you feel good. Should I go down on you at the same time?”

“If you do that, I’m going to cum in like 30 seconds. First thing’s first.” He handed you the bottle of lube. “Use this, and use it liberally.”

You nodded, feeling nervous. “Okay.”

While you popped the cap and coated your fingers, he got up and returned with a towel, placing it on the bed underneath him. Then, he lay back and spread his legs.

You situated yourself between them, rubbing your clean hand along his thigh. Now that the time had come to actually start, you were terrified. “I really don’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s alright, love. Just start with one finger, and I’ll let you know if anything you’re doing is painful,” he reassured you. “I’ve done this plenty of times.”

You’d process and probably fantasize about that later, but for now you couldn’t focus on that, or anything else really.

You swallowed heavily as you left your hand on his thigh and slipped your index finger between his cheeks, finding his hole easily, but pausing there.

“Go on,” he encouraged you.

You gently and slowly pressed inside, much more careful than you would have been with yourself, and you hadn’t done this before at all.

He chuckled. “I’m not made of glass, love. Add another finger.”

“Are you sure?” you asked.

“Your fingers are smaller than mine,” he reminded you.

“Oh,” you responded simply, pushing in another finger next to the first, less gingerly, but still gentle. His body was tight and hot around your digits, slick with lubricant, but not like your own natural wetness when you fingered yourself.

When you moved your fingers in deeper, he sharply inhaled. It scared you at first, but his face showed no signs of pain.

You’d heard about prostate stimulation before and tried curling your fingers.

He smirked. “You know more than you let on, don’t you, princess? In a little deeper.”

You followed his instructions. When you were rewarded with a loud moan, you focused on the area like you would your own g-spot.

“God,” he groaned, in obvious pleasure, forcing out, “another finger.”

You drizzled some more lube over your fingers as you added a third, trying to continue stimulating his prostate while you scissored your fingers to prepare him for the strap-on. Honestly, you knew you were probably doing more prep than he actually needed for such a slim toy, significantly smaller than an actual dick, but you’d rather do too much than too little.

“Stop, stop,” he breathed out.

You immediately stilled, stomach dropping. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, I was just about to cum. I wanted to do that on your cock,” he explained.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you withdrew your fingers, wiping them off on the towel below you. “How did you want to?”

“It’d probably be easier in doggy style, but I want to be on my back so I can see your face while you fuck me,” he replied.

“That’s sweet.” You smiled down at him as you applied what you knew was entirely too much lube to the dildo and paused.

“I want you inside me, darling,” he told you.

You took a deep breath as you moved your body to position the toy at his hole, pausing again. “Ready?”

“I’ve been ready. I think you’re more nervous than I am, and I’m the one who’s getting fucked for the first time,” he said, amused.

“Yeah, I think I am.” You softly laughed as you pushed your hips forward until the head of the toy popped in. You remembered the way he let you adjust first when it had been your first time, so you did the same, even though he didn’t seem to be in any discomfort.

“More,” he urged you.

You pressed farther, moving in until your hips were flush with his. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

“I’m ready. Probably shouldn’t have picked such a sorry excuse for a dick,” he said, lightly.

“I didn’t know you were such a size queen.” You laughed again as you started moving at an unhurried pace, watching his expression turn from amusement to pleasure.

After a few minutes, you were reasonably sure that you weren’t going to hurt him with whatever you dished out. What he said was true. The dildo was no thicker than a few of your fingers, and he’d been doing this to himself for a while.

“Harder and faster,” he eventually requested.

“Want me to fuck you rough, sweetheart?” you asked, now comfortable with increasing the pace and force behind your thrusts. It was strange, but not unwelcome, switching into Tom’s role.

“God yes,” he hissed.

“Such a good boy for me, taking my cock like you were made for it,” you praised him. “Are you going to cum on it?”

“Just need a little more,” he told you.

Your thighs were starting to burn a little, but you fucked into him as roughly as you could, hoping you could outlast him.

His moans grew louder until he shouted your name, head tipped back as he came untouched on his stomach in several long spurts, his climax lasting longer than it normally did.

“You can stop,” he said, breathlessly.

You slowly pulled out, then stretched your legs out on the bed, rubbing your thighs, groaning.

“Are you alright, darling?” he asked.

“Just sore. I don’t give you enough credit for doing that for a long time. Jesus,” you commented. “I should be asking you that, though. It was your first time being fucked. Not mine.”

“Well, I’ve never cum untouched before, by myself or with a partner,” he responded. “Take from that what you will.”

You grinned. “I’m glad I made your first time good. So this is something that will go on the try again list?”

“Definitely,” he confirmed. “Now, I seem to remember something about you showing me how wet you are for me. Let’s get this strap-on off of you, and I’ll do something about it.”

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #Tom Holland Fan Fiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #tom holland reader #tom holland reader insert #tom holland you

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latishiante1001 · 7 years ago

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Loved You Then and Now

Rating: Explicit Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes) Warnings: Adult Content and Language, Smut Tags: Angst, Smut, Bottom Bucky, Top Steve, First Time, No Refractory Period, and Multiple Orgasms

Summary: It's been a couple years since Bucky has become an Avenger and after Steve almost got himself killed on a mission for what seemed like the millionth time, Bucky decides that he can't handle getting so close to losing Steve anymore without telling him something very important...

Word Count: 3607

A/N: Written for @izawrites for her 6k Writing Challenge! The lyrics I chose are "We're not who we used to be" and they will be in bold. This is also my first time writing Stucky, and Marvel in general, so I hope I did okay and I apologize if something's off or wrong. Hope you enjoy! This fic will also be posted on my MCU blog once I get it up and running, by the way.

(I may or may not have chosen the positioning of the gifs because it looks like Steve is looking down on a fucked-out Bucky. Had to point that out, sorry, continue reading.)

“Hey, Buck. Whatcha up to?” Steve asks, walking into the living room. After Bucky only gives a grunt, Steve asks if he’s okay. “Yeah, fine.” Steve sighs and sits next to Bucky on the couch, “Alright, talk to me.” “What do you want to talk about?” “Bucky, we’ve known each other for how long? And you think I can’t tell when something’s on your mind? What’s wrong?” “Nothing’s wrong, okay? I’m fine.” Bucky snaps, not looking at Steve. Steve’s eyebrows fly up, shocked. “Did- Did I do something? Are you mad at me?” “I said I��m fine, Steve!” Bucky snaps again, even more aggressive this time. “Yes, you did. But that’s not what I asked. I asked if I did something to make you mad at me.” Steve says calmly. Bucky finally turns to look at Steve, “Yes, okay?! You did do something! You’ve always done the same damn thing and you’ll probably never stop!” “What have I done?” Steve asks, completely confused as to what he’s done to get Bucky this mad at him. Bucky looks shocked for a moment before setting his hand a little harder than necessary on Steve’s shoulder, the one that he hurt on the mission, making Steve wince. “Ow! What the hell was that for, Buck?!” “That’s what you’ve done! You’ve always put yourself in harm’s way and almost gotten yourself killed, time and time again! Ever since that damn serum got in you, hell, even before that when you were still the little kid from Brooklyn. I’m pretty sure that you’ve never even thought what you dying would do to the team! What you dying would do to me, damn it!” Bucky yells, tears coming to his eyes. Steve just sits there, not knowing what to say or do after all that Bucky said. Several moments of silence settle before Bucky speaks, his voice cracking. “Do you even know what losing you would do to me, Stevie? I- I don’t think I could go on without you if you...” “I do know what it would do to you. I know because I went through it when you fell off that train all those years ago. I thought you died, Buck. For a long time I always blamed myself, hell I still do. I wasn’t fast enough, I couldn’t save you...” Steve says softly. “Steve, it wasn’t your fault. There wasn’t anything else that you could do to save me.” Now it was Steve’s turn to yell, “You don’t know that! I could have reached out further! I could’ve moved as you fell so I could grab you! I could’ve jumped after you, the serum could’ve kept me alive!” “Shut up! Don’t let me even hear about you saying that again! You don’t know if the serum would’ve kept you alive! If you would’ve died after jumping after me, I would’ve made sure I died with you! I’m with you ‘till the end of the line, remember?! You die, I die! And if you did jump after me and die, a whole lot of people would’ve died after as well! Do you not realize how many people you saved when you kept living?! How many people you saved from having to go through what not only I but so many other people went through as well?! You’re Captain fucking America for Christ’s sake! You save people, it’s what you do! You can’t stop doing that because you lose someone on a job!” Steve thinks for a moment before speaking, “I can when I lose the person that’s never stopped believing in me. The person who started believing in me when I was probably one of the sickest people on the planet. You’ve never stopped seeing me, Buck, the real me. You never saw me as Captain America, but as Steve Rogers, the little guy from Brooklyn. That’s the person I can die for if I lose them.”

Bucky basically sags as all of his anger drains out of him. Bucky just stares at Steve, trying to process all that was just said to him as well as not to let tears fall down his face. After Bucky lets his head fall, Steve speaks. “Bucky.” “Yes?” “Please, don’t ever think of yourself as just another person to me. I wouldn’t have fought half of the Avengers for just anyone.” Steve jokes, chuckling and making Bucky smile. Steve takes a deep breath before continuing, “You’re my everything, Buck. I can’t live without the man I love.” Bucky’s head jerks up, looking into Steve’s eyes, searching for anything that tells him that Steve is lying. There’s nothing. “What? What did you just say?” Bucky asks softly. “I love you, Bucky. I always have.” Steve repeats, feeling a weight being lifted off of his chest. “No, you don’t.” Bucky says, shaking his head. “What? Yes I do.” Steve replies, confused. “No, you don’t! You can’t!” Bucky snaps, turning away from Steve. “Bucky, look at me. Look at me. Please, Buck.” Steve says, waiting until Bucky turns back to face him to continue. “What do you mean I can’t love you? Why can’t I love you?” “Steve. You said you’ve always loved me, right?” “Yes.” “That’s why. Steve, we’re not who we used to be. You loved me before I ‘died.’ Not after.” “Yes, I do. I said I’ve always loved you. That includes before the fall and now. I have always loved you, Bucky, and I always will. It doesn’t matter if you love me back or not, I won’t stop.” “Steve... I’m different now, I’m not your Bucky.” Bucky argues, shaking his head, refusing to believe what he’s hearing. “You’ll always be my Bucky. It doesn’t matter if you get switched into a completely different body, you’ll still be my Bucky. Please tell me you understand that.” Bucky looks back into the beautiful pools of blue in Steve’s eyes and whispers, “Do you really mean that?” “Yes. Of course I do, Buck. We’re with each other until the end of the line. You stayed with me after the serum, in a completely new body and slightly different mindset. I’ll be with you with your metal arm and shaggy hair.” Steve answers, smiling at the end. Bucky smiles, “Well, it looks like I really am stuck with you as I feel the same.” “You mean being with each other until the end of the line?” Steve asks, not getting his hopes up and thinking that Bucky meaning something else. “That and... I love you too, Stevie.” Bucky says, hope and love shining in his eyes. Steve almost stops breathing for a second and he swears his heart skipped a beat. He says, tears pooling in his eyes, “R- Really?” “Yeah. I’ve loved you longer than you know.” Bucky answers, feeling the same weight being lifted off of his chest that Steve had a felt a few minutes earlier. Steve throws himself into Bucky’s arms, hugging him tight. Bucky grins and hugs Steve just as tight. “I’m trying so hard not to cry right now.” Steve says, chuckling. Bucky huffs a laugh, “Glad to know I’m not the only one.” Steve sits up just enough to look into Bucky’s eyes. “Buck.” “Yes?” “May I kiss you?” Instead of answering, Bucky moves his head forward to press his lips to Steve’s in a soft but sure kiss. Steve kisses back just as soft before pulling back, smiling. “You know I asked if I could kiss you, right?” Bucky chuckled, “Yeah, yeah, shut up and why don’t you kiss me th- Mm!” Steve kisses Bucky this time, the kiss a little bit harder this time and longer, too. Steve presses Bucky back into the couch before straddling his hips without breaking the kiss. While slipping his tongue into Steve’s mouth, Bucky slides his hands over Steve’s back before ending at his butt, squeezing it gently. Steve gives a quiet moan before moving his head back, breathing heavily. “We... We should probably take this into one of our rooms.” “Yeah, we probably should. Yours or mine?” “Mine.” “Alright, let’s go.” Bucky says, making Steve about to get up and he would have if Bucky hadn’t stood up while holding Steve, making Steve yelp and cling to Bucky. “Damn it, Bucky! Give me a warning, will you?!” Steve gripes, smacking Bucky on the back. Bucky just laughs and effortlessly carries Steve to his room. After entering, closing, and locking the door to Steve’s room, Bucky goes over to the bed and drops Steve onto the bed. Bucky then stands up and pulls his shirt off over his head before starting on his pants. Steve then takes his shirt off as well as his pants, leaving him in just his boxers. Bucky climbs over Steve after he is only in his boxers as well. Continuing the kiss, Steve and Bucky start running their hands across each other’s bodies, learning the other’s body that they’ve never stopped protecting. Steve uses his super strength to push Bucky into his back so that he’s the one on top before lowering his head to Bucky’s neck, sucking and kissing and biting. Bucky moans as Steve sucks on a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. Steve starts moving down, looking at Bucky’s face for a reaction before curiously kissing the skin that changes into metal. Bucky gasps loudly, his eyes flying open. Steve pulls back, thinking he hurt Bucky somehow, about to apologize before looking at Bucky’s eyes. In those eyes, he sees not pain, or anger, but lust. “Did- Did you like that?” Steve asks, just as shocked and confused as Bucky. “I... I didn’t hate it. It felt kinda good, surprisingly.” Bucky answers, trying to figure out how it felt. “Do you want me to do it again?” Steve asks. Bucky looks up shyly before nodding. Steve lowers his head again, softly licking the same spot he did before. “Fuck, that feels good.” Bucky gasps. Steve smiles before starting kiss and lick at the sensitive skin, wringing moans and gasps out of Bucky. Bucky feels like he should be doing something to pleasure Steve too but his mind is short circuiting from the pleasure he’s feeling. The best he can do is use his flesh arm to move to the front of Steve’s boxers and squeeze Steve’s cock. Steve moans, his kisses and licks having more pressure behind them before he moves his hands to Bucky’s nipples and rolls and pinches them. Bucky moans, arching his back to push his chest into Steve’s hands. “Fuck, Steve. I- I’m gonna come if you don’t slow down.” Steve smiles and pulls back to look at Bucky without stopping his hands, “It feels that good, huh?” “Yeah, yeah it- Oh fuck! Steve!” Bucky agrees before gasping as Steve twists his nipples, pleasure shooting up his spine. Steve smirks before letting his hands go as he moves down to remove Bucky’s boxers.

“You know what too many of my thoughts have been on?” Steve asks, taking a hold of Bucky’s cock and moving his hand up and down. “W- What?” “This.” Steve answers before taking the tip of Bucky’s cock in his mouth, running his tongue around the head. “Fuck, Steve!” Bucky gasps, Steve holding his bucking hips down. Steve licks and sucks at the head a little more before sliding more of Bucky’s length into his mouth. Starting to move his head up and down, Steve moves his left hand back up to play with Bucky’s nipples again. Bucky clenches his hands and grits his teeth, trying but failing to keep his hips down. Suddenly, Steve gets up and goes to his bedside table, digging through the drawers. “Steve. What are you- Oh.” Steve holds up a bottle of lube, before climbing back onto the bed. “May I fuck you, Bucky?” Steve asks, somehow still looking innocent with red, swollen lips covered in spit and precum. Bucky could’ve come at that question and sight right then and there. “God, yes. Please do.” Popping open the bottle, Steve squeezes some of the lube onto his fingers before placing it on the bed. Bucky relaxes, readying himself for the intrusion he knows is coming. Steve places his finger on the puckered hole, rubbing it a little before pressing his finger in to the second knuckle. “Fuck...” Bucky groans softly, looking down at Steve. Steve looks up at him innocently before smirking and crooking his finger, hitting a certain bundle of nerves. “Fuck!” Bucky cries out, throwing his head back and clenching his eyes shut. Steve presses against it again making Bucky’s hips jerk up and cry out again before leaving it alone, for now. Steve presses another finger against the hole before it easily gives in. Bucky moans at the slight stretch, giving him more pleasure than pain. Scissoring his fingers to stretch Bucky, Steve goes and sucks the head of Bucky’s cock into his mouth, licking and sucking at it. Steve continues taking more and more of Bucky into his mouth until he hits the back of his throat, making Bucky groan. “Steve!” Bucky cries out as Steve not only swallows around him but adds another finger, stretching Bucky even more. “St- Steve! I’m gonna come if...fuck... you don’t stop.” Steve pulls off and smirks with a wicked look in his eyes, “That’s the point.” Steve takes Bucky back into his mouth before crooking his fingers again, hitting Bucky’s prostate. “Steve!” Bucky screams, bucking his hips as he shoots into Steve’s mouth. Steve swallows as much as he can, the rest sliding down Bucky’s cock. Steve continues to lick and suck at Bucky’s oversensitive cock to clean him until he’s hard and ready to go again. Steve slides his fingers out before moving up Bucky’s body, licking and sucking as he goes.

Steve kisses Bucky softly before Bucky kisses back rougher. Steve tries to keep it slow and soft but Bucky continues to kiss back harder. “Steve.” “Yeah?” “I’ve- We’ve waited way too long for this and since you can’t take the hint, I’m gonna make it clear. If you don’t fuck me right now in the next five seconds, I’m going to throw you on your back and do it myself.” “Is that a threat or a promise?” “Steve, I swear- Oh fuck!” Bucky cuts off on a moan as Steve presses inside of him in a continuous slide. They both groan as Steve bottoms out. Waiting for a go ahead, Steve starts to kiss all over Bucky’s face and neck. After Bucky shifts his hips, making the both of them moan, Steve slowly pulls out before thrusting in, slow but hard. Bucky gasps and arches his back. Seeing that Bucky was okay, Steve starts a slow and hard pace, hitting that bundle of nerves on every other thrust. “Shit, Buck. You feel so good. So tight, so warm. Ah, fuck!” Steve groans and curses as he feels Bucky’s walls clench around him. Using the hand that it isn’t holding him up, Steve starts to pinch and roll at Bucky’s sensitive nipples. “Oh fuck, Steve! Feels so good. Please! Please, I need-!” Bucky moans and pleads, not being able to decide if he wants to arch his chest into Steve’s hands or push down onto Steve’s cock. So, he alternates between both, pressing his chest up on a thrust before pushing his hips down. “What do you need? Tell me what you need, Buck.” Steve says, breathlessly. “Need- Need you to fuck me. Fuck me hard, please! Pl- Fuck!” Bucky asks before getting what he asked for as Steve thrusts into him harder and quickening his pace. Not only does Steve fuck Bucky harder, he moves his head down just enough to be able to lick at the sensitive skin connected to metal. Bucky cries out in pleasure and clings onto Steve’s back for dear life, scratching Steve’s back with the nails on his flesh hand, causing bruises with his metal one.

Bucky wraps his legs around Steve’s hips before crying out again as the new angle has his prostate being hit on almost every thrust. “Steve, Steve. I- ah! I’m getting close again. Oh god!” “You gonna come for me, Buck? Do it. Come for me.” Steve says, thrusting a bit harder to push Bucky over the edge. “Steve!” Bucky screams as he comes so hard he’s sure he sees stars. Steve keeps fucking Bucky hard, not slowing down at all so Bucky decides to go ahead on his promise. Bucky flips himself and Steve so that he is straddling Steve, all the while keeping his cock in him. “So, I guess that was a promise?” Steve asks, looking up at Bucky. Bucky just smirks before lifting himself up and dropping back down. “Fuck, Bucky! Ah, don’t stop!” “Wasn’t planning to.” Bucky snarks back, throwing his head back and dropping himself back down onto Steve’s cock. Bucky moans before starting a hard and face pace, lifting himself up before dropping back down. Though at this angle, Bucky can most definitely feel Steve deeper inside of him. “You gonna come for me, Stevie?” “Not until...oh...you do.” Steve answers, having trouble keeping his hips down. Bucky smirks again, “We’ll see about that,” before not only dropping down particularly hard but clenching even tighter around Steve. “Ah! Bucky! Fuck! Are you trying to end this?!” Steve cries out, trying to keep himself from coming. Steve grips onto Bucky’s hips, wanting to slow Bucky down but not able to bring himself to do it. “Oh, it’s not going to end when you come. You kept fucking me after I came, it’s only fair if I do the same to you. Don’t you think?” Bucky says, smirking and somehow looking completely innocent while riding Steve like he’d been doing it his entire life. “Ugh, I hate you sometimes.” Steve tells Bucky, groaning as Bucky squeezes around him again. “And you love me all the time.” Bucky replies, starting to clench his walls around Steve every time he lifted himself off. “Ah. I- I can’t hold back anymore! Fuck, Bucky!” Steve screamed, letting go and shooting deep inside Bucky, his hips thrusting deeper, eyes clenching shut.

Bucky gasps, the feeling of Steve shooting deep into him making him hold back his own orgasm. Bucky continues to ride Steve until he’s done coming before giving him a break. Bucky leans down and pecks Steve’s lips before starting to kiss his whole face. Only when Steve’s eyes open does Bucky pull back enough to look him in the face. “You okay?” Bucky asks, staring lovingly down at Steve. Steve’s cock begins to harden again, making Steve smile and say, “Does that answer your question?” Bucky smiles and kisses Steve one more time before sitting back up. “You ready for another round?” Steve grinds his hips up, making Bucky gasp as he hits his prostate, “Again, does that answer your question?” “You’re an ass.” Bucky says, lifting himself up. “You love my ass.” “That I do, Steve. That I do.” Bucky agrees before dropping himself down, throwing his head back in pleasure. Steve inhales loudly as the friction on his oversensitive cock shoots pleasure up his spine, arching his back in pleasure. “You okay?” “Y- Yeah. Don’t stop, please.” Steve assures, breathing hard. “Yes, sir.” Bucky answers, starting a hard and fast pace that satisfies the both of them. The room is filled with the sounds of heavy breathing, moans, gasps, and groans as the two super soldiers that will be with each other forever make love for the first time. Steve tilts his hips up a bit and hears Bucky shout as his prostate is hit dead on. “There! Oh, please! Right there! Fuck, Steve!” Bucky cries out, almost sobbing in pleasure. Bucky starts to clench tighter around Steve to bring him to his orgasm faster as Bucky is starting to feel his coming fast. “Bucky! Ah! Oh fuck! I- I’m already getting close!” Steve cries out, using his hands to slam Bucky down even harder. “M- Me too. So close! C- Come with me, Stevie. Steve!” Bucky screams as he comes for the third time that night, that one somehow stronger than the other two making him almost black out. “Oh fuck! Bucky!” Steve shouts as he comes again, most definitely seeing stars as he falls over the edge of ecstasy with Bucky. Bucky cries out as Steve coming inside of him again makes him fall into a mini orgasm. Steve helps lift Bucky off of him and lay him next to Steve. Bucky immediately curls up as close as he can to Steve, laying his head on his chest. The two super soldiers lay there in content, catching their breath. “Bucky?” “Hm?” Bucky answers, already half-asleep. “Wh- What are we now?” Bucky looks up at Steve and thinks for a moment before saying, “What I’m pretty sure we’ve always been, Steve. Soulmates.” Steve lays there for a moment before smiling, more grinning really, and agrees, “Soulmates. I think that’s one amazing way to describe us, Buck.” Bucky starts grinning too and says, “Yeah. Yeah it is. Now I have a question.” “Hm?” “Which one of us is going to get up to get the rag?” Bucky asks. “Well, it would most likely be me but I have a better idea.” Steve answers, smirking. “What’s that?” “How about instead we take a shower together?” “Last one there bottoms!” Bucky says, grinning, and jumps over Steve and runs to the bathroom. Steve just laughs and follows him in there. There was a reason why Steve didn’t actually try to beat Bucky...

Tags are OPEN!!

Tags: @sebastian-scott, @evyiione, @me-lexi20, @bluemoon102, and since I have very little tags, tag your friends who might want to read this!

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asgardian-goddess-of-writing · 7 years ago

Text

Loved You Then and Now

Rating: Explicit Ship: Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes) Warnings: Adult Content and Language, Smut Tags: Angst, Smut, Bottom Bucky, Top Steve, First Time, No Refractory Period, and Multiple Orgasms

Summary: It’s been a couple years since Bucky has become an Avenger and after Steve almost got himself killed on a mission for what seemed like the millionth time, Bucky decides that he can’t handle getting so close to losing Steve anymore without telling him something very important…

Word Count: 3607

A/N: Written for @izawrites for her 6k Writing Challenge! The lyrics I chose are “We’re not who we used to be” and they will be in bold. This is also my first time writing Stucky, and Marvel in general, so I hope I did okay and I apologize if something’s off or wrong. Hope you enjoy! This fic was originally posted on my main blog, @latishiante1001, but since I now have my MCU blog up, I shall post it on here for my first post!

(I may or may not have chosen the positioning of the gifs because it looks like Steve is looking down on a fucked-out Bucky. Had to point that out, sorry, continue reading.)

“Hey, Buck. Whatcha up to?” Steve asks, walking into the living room. After Bucky only gives a grunt, Steve asks if he’s okay. “Yeah, fine.” Steve sighs and sits next to Bucky on the couch, “Alright, talk to me.” “What do you want to talk about?” “Bucky, we’ve known each other for how long? And you think I can’t tell when something’s on your mind? What’s wrong?” “Nothing’s wrong, okay? I’m fine.” Bucky snaps, not looking at Steve. Steve’s eyebrows fly up, shocked. “Did- Did I do something? Are you mad at me?” “I said I’m fine, Steve!” Bucky snaps again, even more aggressive this time. “Yes, you did. But that’s not what I asked. I asked if I did something to make you mad at me.” Steve says calmly. Bucky finally turns to look at Steve, “Yes, okay?! You did do something! You’ve always done the same damn thing and you’ll probably never stop!” “What have I done?” Steve asks, completely confused as to what he’s done to get Bucky this mad at him. Bucky looks shocked for a moment before setting his hand a little harder than necessary on Steve’s shoulder, the one that he hurt on the mission, making Steve wince. “Ow! What the hell was that for, Buck?!” “That’s what you’ve done! You’ve always put yourself in harm’s way and almost gotten yourself killed, time and time again! Ever since that damn serum got in you, hell, even before that when you were still the little kid from Brooklyn. I’m pretty sure that you’ve never even thought what you dying would do to the team! What you dying would do to me, damn it!” Bucky yells, tears coming to his eyes. Steve just sits there, not knowing what to say or do after all that Bucky said. Several moments of silence settle before Bucky speaks, his voice cracking. “Do you even know what losing you would do to me, Stevie? I- I don’t think I could go on without you if you…” “I do know what it would do to you. I know because I went through it when you fell off that train all those years ago. I thought you died, Buck. For a long time I always blamed myself, hell I still do. I wasn’t fast enough, I couldn’t save you…” Steve says softly. “Steve, it wasn’t your fault. There wasn’t anything else that you could do to save me.” Now it was Steve’s turn to yell, “You don’t know that! I could have reached out further! I could’ve moved as you fell so I could grab you! I could’ve jumped after you, the serum could’ve kept me alive!” “Shut up! Don’t let me even hear about you saying that again! You don’t know if the serum would’ve kept you alive! If you would’ve died after jumping after me, I would’ve made sure I died with you! I’m with you ‘till the end of the line, remember?! You die, I die! And if you did jump after me and die, a whole lot of people would’ve died after as well! Do you not realize how many people you saved when you kept living?! How many people you saved from having to go through what not only I but so many other people went through as well?! You’re Captain fucking America for Christ’s sake! You save people, it’s what you do! You can’t stop doing that because you lose someone on a job!” Steve thinks for a moment before speaking, “I can when I lose the person that’s never stopped believing in me. The person who started believing in me when I was probably one of the sickest people on the planet. You’ve never stopped seeing me, Buck, the real me. You never saw me as Captain America, but as Steve Rogers, the little guy from Brooklyn. That’s the person I can die for if I lose them.”

Bucky basically sags as all of his anger drains out of him. Bucky just stares at Steve, trying to process all that was just said to him as well as not to let tears fall down his face. After Bucky lets his head fall, Steve speaks. “Bucky.” “Yes?” “Please, don’t ever think of yourself as just another person to me. I wouldn’t have fought half of the Avengers for just anyone.” Steve jokes, chuckling and making Bucky smile. Steve takes a deep breath before continuing, “You’re my everything, Buck. I can’t live without the man I love.” Bucky’s head jerks up, looking into Steve’s eyes, searching for anything that tells him that Steve is lying. There’s nothing. “What? What did you just say?” Bucky asks softly. “I love you, Bucky. I always have.” Steve repeats, feeling a weight being lifted off of his chest. “No, you don’t.” Bucky says, shaking his head. “What? Yes I do.” Steve replies, confused. “No, you don’t! You can’t!” Bucky snaps, turning away from Steve. “Bucky, look at me. Look at me. Please, Buck.” Steve says, waiting until Bucky turns back to face him to continue. “What do you mean I can’t love you? Why can’t I love you?” “Steve. You said you’ve always loved me, right?” “Yes.” “That’s why. Steve, we’re not who we used to be. You loved me before I ‘died.’ Not after.” “Yes, I do. I said I’ve always loved you. That includes before the fall and now. I have always loved you, Bucky, and I always will. It doesn’t matter if you love me back or not, I won’t stop.” “Steve… I’m different now, I’m not your Bucky.” Bucky argues, shaking his head, refusing to believe what he’s hearing. “You’ll always be my Bucky. It doesn’t matter if you get switched into a completely different body, you’ll still be my Bucky. Please tell me you understand that.” Bucky looks back into the beautiful pools of blue in Steve’s eyes and whispers, “Do you really mean that?” “Yes. Of course I do, Buck. We’re with each other until the end of the line. You stayed with me after the serum, in a completely new body and slightly different mindset. I’ll be with you with your metal arm and shaggy hair.” Steve answers, smiling at the end. Bucky smiles, “Well, it looks like I really am stuck with you as I feel the same.” “You mean being with each other until the end of the line?” Steve asks, not getting his hopes up and thinking that Bucky meaning something else. “That and… I love you too, Stevie.” Bucky says, hope and love shining in his eyes. Steve almost stops breathing for a second and he swears his heart skipped a beat. He says, tears pooling in his eyes, “R- Really?” “Yeah. I’ve loved you longer than you know.” Bucky answers, feeling the same weight being lifted off of his chest that Steve had a felt a few minutes earlier. Steve throws himself into Bucky’s arms, hugging him tight. Bucky grins and hugs Steve just as tight. “I’m trying so hard not to cry right now.” Steve says, chuckling. Bucky huffs a laugh, “Glad to know I’m not the only one.” Steve sits up just enough to look into Bucky’s eyes. “Buck.” “Yes?” “May I kiss you?” Instead of answering, Bucky moves his head forward to press his lips to Steve’s in a soft but sure kiss. Steve kisses back just as soft before pulling back, smiling. “You know I asked if I could kiss you, right?” Bucky chuckled, “Yeah, yeah, shut up and why don’t you kiss me th- Mm!” Steve kisses Bucky this time, the kiss a little bit harder this time and longer, too. Steve presses Bucky back into the couch before straddling his hips without breaking the kiss. While slipping his tongue into Steve’s mouth, Bucky slides his hands over Steve’s back before ending at his butt, squeezing it gently. Steve gives a quiet moan before moving his head back, breathing heavily. “We… We should probably take this into one of our rooms.” “Yeah, we probably should. Yours or mine?” “Mine.” “Alright, let’s go.” Bucky says, making Steve about to get up and he would have if Bucky hadn’t stood up while holding Steve, making Steve yelp and cling to Bucky. “Damn it, Bucky! Give me a warning, will you?!” Steve gripes, smacking Bucky on the back. Bucky just laughs and effortlessly carries Steve to his room. After entering, closing, and locking the door to Steve’s room, Bucky goes over to the bed and drops Steve onto the bed. Bucky then stands up and pulls his shirt off over his head before starting on his pants. Steve then takes his shirt off as well as his pants, leaving him in just his boxers. Bucky climbs over Steve after he is only in his boxers as well. Continuing the kiss, Steve and Bucky start running their hands across each other’s bodies, learning the other’s body that they’ve never stopped protecting. Steve uses his super strength to push Bucky into his back so that he’s the one on top before lowering his head to Bucky’s neck, sucking and kissing and biting. Bucky moans as Steve sucks on a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. Steve starts moving down, looking at Bucky’s face for a reaction before curiously kissing the skin that changes into metal. Bucky gasps loudly, his eyes flying open. Steve pulls back, thinking he hurt Bucky somehow, about to apologize before looking at Bucky’s eyes. In those eyes, he sees not pain, or anger, but lust. “Did- Did you like that?” Steve asks, just as shocked and confused as Bucky. “I… I didn’t hate it. It felt kinda good, surprisingly.” Bucky answers, trying to figure out how it felt. “Do you want me to do it again?” Steve asks. Bucky looks up shyly before nodding. Steve lowers his head again, softly licking the same spot he did before. “Fuck, that feels good.” Bucky gasps. Steve smiles before starting kiss and lick at the sensitive skin, wringing moans and gasps out of Bucky. Bucky feels like he should be doing something to pleasure Steve too but his mind is short circuiting from the pleasure he’s feeling. The best he can do is use his flesh arm to move to the front of Steve’s boxers and squeeze Steve’s cock. Steve moans, his kisses and licks having more pressure behind them before he moves his hands to Bucky’s nipples and rolls and pinches them. Bucky moans, arching his back to push his chest into Steve’s hands. “Fuck, Steve. I- I’m gonna come if you don’t slow down.” Steve smiles and pulls back to look at Bucky without stopping his hands, “It feels that good, huh?” “Yeah, yeah it- Oh fuck! Steve!” Bucky agrees before gasping as Steve twists his nipples, pleasure shooting up his spine. Steve smirks before letting his hands go as he moves down to remove Bucky’s boxers.

“You know what too many of my thoughts have been on?” Steve asks, taking a hold of Bucky’s cock and moving his hand up and down. “W- What?” “This.” Steve answers before taking the tip of Bucky’s cock in his mouth, running his tongue around the head. “Fuck, Steve!” Bucky gasps, Steve holding his bucking hips down. Steve licks and sucks at the head a little more before sliding more of Bucky’s length into his mouth. Starting to move his head up and down, Steve moves his left hand back up to play with Bucky’s nipples again. Bucky clenches his hands and grits his teeth, trying but failing to keep his hips down. Suddenly, Steve gets up and goes to his bedside table, digging through the drawers. “Steve. What are you- Oh.” Steve holds up a bottle of lube, before climbing back onto the bed. “May I fuck you, Bucky?” Steve asks, somehow still looking innocent with red, swollen lips covered in spit and precum. Bucky could’ve come at that question and sight right then and there. “God, yes. Please do.” Popping open the bottle, Steve squeezes some of the lube onto his fingers before placing it on the bed. Bucky relaxes, readying himself for the intrusion he knows is coming. Steve places his finger on the puckered hole, rubbing it a little before pressing his finger in to the second knuckle. “Fuck…” Bucky groans softly, looking down at Steve. Steve looks up at him innocently before smirking and crooking his finger, hitting a certain bundle of nerves. “Fuck!” Bucky cries out, throwing his head back and clenching his eyes shut. Steve presses against it again making Bucky’s hips jerk up and cry out again before leaving it alone, for now. Steve presses another finger against the hole before it easily gives in. Bucky moans at the slight stretch, giving him more pleasure than pain. Scissoring his fingers to stretch Bucky, Steve goes and sucks the head of Bucky’s cock into his mouth, licking and sucking at it. Steve continues taking more and more of Bucky into his mouth until he hits the back of his throat, making Bucky groan. “Steve!” Bucky cries out as Steve not only swallows around him but adds another finger, stretching Bucky even more. “St- Steve! I’m gonna come if…fuck… you don’t stop.” Steve pulls off and smirks with a wicked look in his eyes, “That’s the point.” Steve takes Bucky back into his mouth before crooking his fingers again, hitting Bucky’s prostate. “Steve!” Bucky screams, bucking his hips as he shoots into Steve’s mouth. Steve swallows as much as he can, the rest sliding down Bucky’s cock. Steve continues to lick and suck at Bucky’s oversensitive cock to clean him until he’s hard and ready to go again. Steve slides his fingers out before moving up Bucky’s body, licking and sucking as he goes.

Bucky wraps his legs around Steve’s hips before crying out again as the new angle has his prostate being hit on almost every thrust. “Steve, Steve. I- ah! I’m getting close again. Oh god!” “You gonna come for me, Buck? Do it. Come for me.” Steve says, thrusting a bit harder to push Bucky over the edge. “Steve!” Bucky screams as he comes so hard he’s sure he sees stars. Steve keeps fucking Bucky hard, not slowing down at all so Bucky decides to go ahead on his promise. Bucky flips himself and Steve so that he is straddling Steve, all the while keeping his cock in him. “So, I guess that was a promise?” Steve asks, looking up at Bucky. Bucky just smirks before lifting himself up and dropping back down. “Fuck, Bucky! Ah, don’t stop!” “Wasn’t planning to.” Bucky snarks back, throwing his head back and dropping himself back down onto Steve’s cock. Bucky moans before starting a hard and face pace, lifting himself up before dropping back down. Though at this angle, Bucky can most definitely feel Steve deeper inside of him. “You gonna come for me, Stevie?” “Not until…oh…you do.” Steve answers, having trouble keeping his hips down. Bucky smirks again, “We’ll see about that,” before not only dropping down particularly hard but clenching even tighter around Steve. “Ah! Bucky! Fuck! Are you trying to end this?!” Steve cries out, trying to keep himself from coming. Steve grips onto Bucky’s hips, wanting to slow Bucky down but not able to bring himself to do it. “Oh, it’s not going to end when you come. You kept fucking me after I came, it’s only fair if I do the same to you. Don’t you think?” Bucky says, smirking and somehow looking completely innocent while riding Steve like he’d been doing it his entire life. “Ugh, I hate you sometimes.” Steve tells Bucky, groaning as Bucky squeezes around him again. “And you love me all the time.” Bucky replies, starting to clench his walls around Steve every time he lifted himself off. “Ah. I- I can’t hold back anymore! Fuck, Bucky!” Steve screamed, letting go and shooting deep inside Bucky, his hips thrusting deeper, eyes clenching shut.

Tags are OPEN!

Tags: @bluemoon102, @me-lexi20, @evyiione, @sebastian-scott, and since I have very little tags, tag your friends who might want to read this!

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jastiss-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Trial by Fire (Ignis/femOC) sfw Chapter 3 - Lancet

Hi guys! Sorry for the wait... I actually wrote this and posted it to AO3 some time ago, but health caused a delay to port it over. I’ve been neglecting my original work for this, but Ignis demands my attention and I can’t not give in. Hahaha

Thank you so much for the support thus far! Tumblr decided not to give me any damn notifications, so I swear I’m not trying to be a butt.

Tags for @hypaalicious and @gudetamazing

This chapter: in which Callie talks backstory and why she’s so adamant to succeed within the Crownsguard even at the expense of her well-being. Ignis is not content to let her health go to the wayside and takes matters into his own hands. Cue some feels, angst and comfort.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 (I think I did these right. Usually I link to the AO3 chapter, but we’ll see if this works.)

The third day found Callie flat on her back in the training room, daggers still in hand as she lay spread-eagled on the mats. It had been weeks since she and Ignis had been able to spar; her training and his duties kept them rather busy. However, Council was adjourned for the day, so Ignis slipped down to the training room, hoping to find Callie.

Find her he did, lying alone in the large, silent room. At first, he thought she was asleep, but her eyes were wide open, staring at the exposed ducts in the ceiling high above.

"There we have it," Ignis laughed. Only Callie's eyes moved to acknowledge his presence. "Bested by the ceiling, it seems. I knew something would bring you down, someday."

The girl's chest shook in a quiet chuckle. Slowly, she brought her feet up to rest flat on the floor and pulled her arms in as she sat up, raven hair pooling on the floor at her waist. The strategist noted how it shone in the artificial light of the room. Ignis surmised it was much the same as Noct's hair color, an almost metallic black with a silvery sheen. However, he never before found himself noting just how lovely the color was as it shone, never had the urge to strip off his ever-present driving gloves and see if the tresses were as silky as they seemed.

“You feeling alright, Ignis?” Callie asked, cocking her head as she inspected him. Her voice sounded tired. Astrals, all of her screamed exhaustion.

Shoving his unwarranted thoughts aside, Ignis smiled and went to kneel beside his friend.

“Callie, I discovered you lying here on the floor in what appears to be a wearied stupor, and you are asking after my well-being?” he queried, voice gentle. “Please, be not concerned. Can I... get you something?”

She shook her head rather slowly. Callie felt like her body was moving in slow motion while the world around her ran at double speed. Training during the last few weeks had been brutal, but her offer to join the Crownsguard was contingent upon her ability to do well at the tasks Cor and Clarus assigned her.

“I'm fine, but thank you,” she finally replied. Ignis didn’t miss the glazed look in her silver eyes. “Day off today. Making sure my skills are sharp.”

“Oh?” Ignis asked, frowning. “What skills are those? I’ve never seen the Crownsguard have need for lying down and staring at the ceiling. That is the prince’s job.”

The joke was enough to send Callie into a fit of cackles, briefly startling the strategist. Sure, he had heard the woman laugh before, but not this all-consuming mirth. He found that he rather enjoyed the musical quality of her voice and barely escaped the urge to guffaw right along with her.

As Callie reigned herself in, Ignis began to notice that in addition to being dead tired, his friend was also rather pale and her already thin frame was markedly thinner than the last time they met. Dark circles had formed under her eyes, a stark contrast against her beautiful pale skin. Her skin was drawn under high cheekbones and was losing its luster. Concerned, Ignis leaned forward and frowned deeply.

“Mortifera,” he chastised, intentionally using her first name. “Have you been eating? Sleeping? Performing the basic necessities to keep yourself healthy?”

She didn’t answer, giving Ignis all the information he needed. He sighed and moved to sit beside his friend, cross-legged.

“Callie, training without self-care is a waste. Your skills won’t benefit you if your body simply cannot function on a basic level,” Ignis explained. “Why are you subjecting yourself to such destructive practices?”

It took so long for her to answer, Ignis thought she had fallen asleep beside him. Finally, she spoke.

"Offer to join is contingent upon my successes," she explained. "I want to make sure I'm the best, and that they have no regrets in allowing me to be a part of the rankings."

"Be honest with me, Callie," Ignis urged, knowing there was more to the story.

"I should work on something while I'm sitting here," she groused, avoiding his probing. "Is there anything I can do while sitting? I think my legs are done."

There was a pause in which Ignis summoned his daggers with a flash and handed them to Callie. "Throwing practice. Hit the target on the wall, there."

"I am absolutely not getting up every time I throw them-" she began.

"I will summon them," Ignis broke in. "Go ahead. Tell me what is bothering you."

Callie threw the first dagger and missed the target by a wide margin. Initially, she was silent, staring at nothing before she shook her head and grabbed the second dagger.

"I need this to happen," she whispered, throwing the dagger and hitting the wall to the right of the target. "Sure, I could go back to being a hunter full-time but... doing something real, doing something important... I just want to have that sort of security and satisfaction that I've done something with myself."

Ignis stayed silent, calling his daggers back to his hands and presenting them to Callie to keep throwing.

"My dad... he's gone," Callie began to elaborate. Her breath hitched, but she plowed on, throwing a dagger with deadly accuracy. "It's all my fault, Ignis. I told you, we lived in Lestallum where we weren't protected by the wall. I don't know if you've been there much but the lights kept on by the plant keep the city safe. Outside of the city, however..."

The blond's heart clenched. He had a feeling he knew where the story was headed and struggled to keep from reaching out to provide comfort.

"I was seven. We had gone out to see my aunt who lived at an outpost in the south of Cleigne. She and dad had been chatting for a bit too long, so we left later than expected. He raced toward home but night fell before we could get back."

Another silence reigned while Callie tried to keep the tears pricking at her eyes from falling. Twenty years later, it was still just as tough to think about the night her father died. Taking a deep breath, she threw the second dagger with more force than intended. It hit the mark dead-on and sunk in, leaving Ignis thankful he didn't have to pry it from the wall.

"I had this toy... a little stuffed moogle that I absolutely adored. He came everywhere with me; he was my best friend. I stuck him out the window because he wanted to know what it felt like to fly and I lost my grip..."

Sadness rolled off of Callie in waves. Ignis was no longer content to sit away from her while she bared her soul to him, emotion spurring him to tentatively scoot closer and rest a gloved palm on her upper back. Callie smiled weakly up at him and continued.

"I screamed at him, Ignis. There was no way we could leave my best friend there in the dark. I thought sure we'd never find him," she said, tilting her head back as her eyebrows drew together in despair. "I was so young and didn't understand the world. I screamed and screamed and kicked the back of his seat until he stopped the car. My daddy would do anything for me. He got out of the car to grab moogle and I sat up to watch him come back. The air around him shifted, the ground roiled with black fog and purple sparkles. Before I knew it, an Iron Giant had dragged itself from the ground."

Subconsciously, the strategist began rubbing gentle circles on Callie's back as she spoke. ��Both were spellbound.

"I watched on as the daemon raised its sword and obliterated my daddy as he was trying to run away. His blood sprayed the back window. I don't recall much other than curling up in the back seat, where I stayed until the rescue crew found me the next morning. I don't... remember a whole lot from around that time.

"The first time I saw an Iron Giant as an adult, I froze. I heard myself scream as if from far away...it came at me and I almost faced the same fate as my father, despite all the work I had put in to become a hunter. It wasn’t until it grabbed me and was ready to squash me that I came to. Ripped its hand clean off and continued to hack it down by targeting the joints.”

It was at that point that Callie couldn't control the tears. She gripped her knees, dragging them roughly to her chest as great sobs wracked her tiny frame. Beside her, Ignis was awkwardly patting her back, unsure of how to proceed. He didn't have very much experience with sobbing females, after all. Callie seemed so lost in her anguish and it cut Ignis so deeply that he reacted on instinct, wrapping his arms about her and drawing her into his lap.

Immediately, the girl turned in his grip and pressed her face to his chest, her long fingers clutching the lapels of his dress coat for dear life. A deep crimson blush flashed across Ignis's face and ears and a small part of his mind complained that his dress fatigues would be dirtied by tears and mucus, but he pointedly ignored that part of himself as he resumed rubbing circles on Callie's back.

Beneath his gloves, Ignis's hands tingled; they ached to be free of their leather prisons that they may touch Callie unhindered. Anxiety crept in as his fingers twitched, realizing the compromising position he had placed himself in. Heat rose in his cheeks as the blush spread and he tried to ignore the way his heart raced.

Callie said something, but it was too muffled in Ignis's chest to make out the words.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, leaning back slightly to try to see her face.

The action caused her to grip his coat harder, though she did lift her face with a great sigh. Emerald met stormy silver and both parties flushed at the intimacy of the situation.

"I, um..." Callie started, releasing her death grip on Ignis. "Well. I'm so sorry. I've never, well... I've never really dealt with what happened, clearly."

"Quite alright," the strategist replied. His crossed legs were numb and tingling, but he didn't dare move. "My apologies for causing you to relive such a painful experience. I would never intentionally cause you such heartache."

When Callie leaned back to draw in a deep breath and wipe tears from her face, the air left his lungs as if he'd been kicked in the chest. Her jet-black makeup trailed down her face in rivulets where the tears had fallen, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy, and yet...

Astrals, she was so beautiful.

"It's ok, really," she assured him, a small smile gracing her lips. "It feels like I've just lanced a festering wound, actually. Quite a healing experience. Completely embarrassing having a breakdown on a new friend, but hey. We take what we can get, I guess."

Neither party attempted to move. Callie closed her eyes, willing her heart rate to come down after her freakout. At the same time, Ignis noticed that his hands had settled comfortably upon her hips and quickly moved to reposition them, another blush chasing the tails of the last, mottling his fair skin.

"Anyway," Callie resumed her tale, finally standing and reaching a hand down to pull Ignis up with her, "I wanted to fight after that. I started taking small hunts in town, deliberately chasing down as tough of demons that I could take on. My strength built and I started making a name for myself in town."

The tactician was disappointed at the loss of contact with his sparring partner, but managed to suppress any outward signs of the fact. He watched as she stretched, arms reaching skyward and then out to her sides before she looked to him again. He suspected the reason his legs felt wobbly wasn’t simply due to circulation.

"Gladio and his sister were in town for a local festival," she recalled, eyes faraway as she went back in time to the day she met Gladiolus Amicitia. "Iris is so inquisitive. Always chasing after something. Well, she decided to chase after a little black gosling as night was falling. Found herself in the midst of two red giants outside of town."

The information sparked a memory for Ignis. "That's right. Gladio was terrified after looking for his sister all day. Apparently, it was the second incident of that nature. He said a woman came rushing into town with Iris in her arms, completely safe. The woman, however, was badly injured..."

At that, Callie chuckled.

"It wasn't that bad of a wound," she clarified. "Gladio likes to be so dramatic in his telling. I tended to my gash and resumed my hunting. Apparently, he tried to find me for a number of years, with no success. He left a note with Dave recently, asking me to meet him here in the Crown City to discuss employment opportunities."

"Rather bold of him," Ignis remarked. "He certainly does not determine who is accepted into the ranks of the Crownsguard."

Callie hummed in agreement. "Very true. He said he had discussed the possibilities with both Cor and his father, Clarus. I didn't ask too many questions. Truthfully, I was rather shocked."

An amiable silence fell, during which time Ignis dismissed his daggers. Taking notice of the weapons, Callie's eyes lit up.

"Say, I've heard you know a few nifty tricks," she began, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Gladio says you have a cool spin kick with your daggers... feel like teaching me?"

The strategist blushed lightly for what felt like the hundredth time that day, crossing his arms to try to look cool rather than embarrassed.

"Ah, yes, it is true that I do have 'tricks,' as you say," he admitted, smirking. "Think you can keep up? I thought you were exhausted."

Callie's stomach chose that exact moment to let them know it had a need for sustenance. Both parties chuckled, and Callie reached down to hug herself, hoping it would stave off the hunger for a while.

"Looks like I'll need a raincheck," she laughed. Her face turned serious, almost sheepish. "You're right, though. I haven't been taking care of myself. I promise I'll stop by a food joint on my way home and get some proper rest."

Balking, Ignis huffed in indignance. "Do you honestly mean to say that you are going to grab fast food on the way home and tell me that's you taking care of your body?"

"Well yes," Callie agreed. "My fridge is empty and I swear my kitchen is just for show..."

There was a tense moment in which Ignis processed what Callie was trying to say. His friend had no food and apparently no cooking ability to speak of. He couldn't leave her to fend for herself, not when she clearly needed to recover.

"Fine," he murmured, pulling his phone from his pocket and checking his schedule. "I can be at your residence after I meet with Noctis to give him the reports from today."

Unable to read minds, Callie was left confused by his statement.

"Um, what for?" she finally asked.

"You need a proper meal," Ignis explained. "I need to give my reports, but as soon as I've finished, I can bring by the proper ingredients to meal prep with you."

Callie stared at him for a moment while his words sunk in. The prince’s royal adviser was offering to come help her cook meals. She could only assume how busy the man was and he was offering to care for her.

“I’m fine, Ignis. You really don’t have to-" she tried.

“Where are you staying?” he asked, ignoring her protest. “Here, send your address to my phone that I may navigate easier.”

Still stunned, Callie retrieved her phone and typed his number into her contacts and then sent over her address. She was still a bit unsure of the whole situation but he seemed rather adamant so she decided not to argue.

“Excellent,” he said as his phone chimed with her incoming text. “Shall we say 6 o'clock? That will leave me the requisite time to acquire the ingredients I need.”

It suddenly occurred to her that Ignis intended to purchase the food himself. Surfacing from her thoughts, she shook her head violently.

“Hold on, just send me the list and I’ll purchase the stuff on the way home,” she objected. “I can’t have you buying food for me. I’m a big girl, you know.”

Ignis then fixed her with The Look. He was obviously nonplussed, eyebrow slightly raised in challenge. Callie gulped, knowing she was bested.

“A big girl who has been failing to care for herself,” he agreed, sass clear in his deep voice. “I shall see you at six. Do you require anything else?”

“No, thank you. Truly. I’ll head home and... get ready.”

Ignis nodded his assent with a small smile. “Until then.”

#ffxv #ffxv fanfiction #ignis scientia #female OC #building up #feels #she's a little traumatized #wanna know how I got these scars #dirtied the dress clothes #chocobros #trying to ignite the slow burn

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lordofsunshadowandsailor · 8 years ago

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story replies

Thank you @declarations-of-drama @simcatcher @simblu for the comments, that I have tried to answer thoroughly, and to all of you who have liked and supported my story.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Praecepta tua in domo tua!*” Alvar mouthed, immediately regretting...”

I really don't like Alvar with that eye monicle thing - it makes him look so creepy to me! Great scene though!

I have to confess that I don’t like it either. But the monocle, along with the top hat, the cape, the cravat, even the beard, are the things Alvar currently hides underneath -- hides his feelings, hides his doubts, hides his sadness, his traumas --, as well as being the items he needs to impersonate the role he still isn’t comfortable in -- that of Lord Phallihurst, 4th Earl of Mentoolshire.

It was also a way of differentiating the young Alvar we see in college and the grown up Alvar, more than 10 years later.

Thank you for the compliment!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “The boy was freezing to death.” Alvar tried to parry the physician’s...”

Is that a heart tatoo on Alvar's chest? I can picture Tobio's hand over it feeling the throb :D

That was my try and take on the blast injuries caused by the mine explosion that crippled Alvar and killed his cousin Frederic. They are actually bird tattoos, that I’ve described as “the distinctive tiny craters left on the otherwise fine, pale skin, by the mine explosion, which had also burned the tissue delineating his master’s still desirable biceps “. Simprovisation!

I bet Tobio wishes to lay his hands again on Alvar, but now that they are adults, I don’t think it’s going to happen. I might be wrong, though...

(or are you referring to his nipple? omg...)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Alvar inspected the stairs. Covered with carpet, they seemed almost...”

Aww :( So sad. And I love this shot with the light shining in on such a terrible scene of death and upset :(

I might have given the impression, when Alvar says “We won’t be needing it anymore…” that Apollo Tim has just passed away... But what I meant is that there is no reason anymore to place a cloth to hide boy’s crotch, since they are indoors now... That’s what then enrages Tobio!

Light beams are always a pretty addition to the scenes, but I have to control myself otherwise I’m always trying to find an excuse to insert them...

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Won’t we? Really!” Tobio stamped his right foot, which made the...”

He has a kid? :O

Yes, Tobio is a widower and a father -- and I wanted to introduce this before his sex scene with Alvar, that comes in a flashback from their youth, to actually complicate things, and perhaps make the character less linear :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your post “replies to replies and sexually charged replies”

Well, that certainly cleared up a lot and educated me on a lot of things! Thanks very much for these replies, and I do look forward to delving deeper into the story of LoSss, and I am so glad that I would be shocking Alvar with my words, yes he might blush at Sly Dog! But I would look him in the eye and say "Acting all innocent, licking your hand and hitting the target? YEAH YOU KNOW!" and Alvar would blush and look away because he would agree with my name for him :D :D

But I am very fond of him already so I would never say that to his face ofc :p

Again, you made me laugh so much with this comment.

Alvar probably needs someone in his life to make him blush and lose his phlegm, especially now that he is an Earl in all his composure -- I really have to consider that and introduce such a character in the story!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Boys from the congregation. Dubious looks he had probably misread,...”

And so it begins for Tobio SMH :(

I’d say it has never stopped -- sex was a rather brief interlude, a moment of losing his head that will have its consequences for the rest of his life... We’ll see more of Tobio in Chapter 3.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Boys from the congregation. Dubious looks he had probably misread,...”

Also can't believe we are getting an update tonight! This is so much to read, I need to buy some crisps or something to go with my hot chocolate :D

So nice to imagine you getting all comfy to read my story! :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Little Lord, wasn’t he called, too? As Tobio looked Alvar with new...”

Oh dear, this is going to be horrible for the both of them. I can just feel it. How the mind can make you see things like that in order to taunt you and make you think you've not enjoyed something so much that it must be tainted or disfigured to make it seem all the worse. Stupid Human Brain huh!

This instance I mean. I can sense some sort of fight perhaps or upset

It’s an acute observation that you wrote above! In reference to Alvar and Tobio, though, this is just the closing of their sex scene, but not the closing of the chapter yet, and I hope to satisfactorily summarize their different reactions to what has just happened to them, perceptions that change even over the time -- but the fact is, they are still together, somehow, ten years later.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Freddie. His beloved, solar cousin Frederic, who at that moment he...”

Oh my!

simcatcher replied to your photo “Freddie. His beloved, solar cousin Frederic, who at that moment he...”

He really is handsome !

Thank you both! This is one of those Sims I use as base and modify each new story I tell... Simcatcher ‘surely’ remembers Armand de Montbelle from The Last Canvas -- well, cousin Freddie is the 20th variation of Armand!

simblu replied to your photo “Freddie. His beloved, solar cousin Frederic, who at that moment he...”

I admit I don't know what a "solar " cousin is.. off to go google

I’m sorry, dear. This was a licentia poetica (poetic license in English?). Freddie is so blond, so beautiful, so tanned, so intense, so bright, so... solar, do you understand now what I meant? He is also nicknamed Phoebus, meaning shining, radiant, bright in Greek, as I have already mentioned in his first appearance.

Maybe I’ll edit this post and add his nickname, that is actually an epithet for Apollo (the god, not the character). A bit confusing still, is it?

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “The communication between them forever forbidden. Or secret, since...”

What did the missive say I wonder? Does Freddie have the same feeling for Alvar?

Thank you for asking. I am slowly introducing this character and his vital importance in Alvar’s life, but Freddie will have his moments of taking the center of stage in this story, so we will learn more about him, and his relationship with Alvar.

simblu replied to your photo “Alvar?” Tobio whispered, trying again to wake the other from his...”

Again, so sad, the separation between them despite their physical intimacy

Sad indeed, but also quite cliche from me, isn’t it? This has been happening to people from the dawn of humanity, I’d say... Lots of sex, fleetingly satisfying, while love remains quite more rare, and often detached from sex, or sex happening without affection.

At the same time, for all I have commented in other replies, love at first sight was never a possibility between Alvar and Tobio.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “There was one thing more, though. Feeling confident, feeling he had...”

I can feel the tension now rising in Tobio. Get out of there Alvar, just get the hell out!!!

Anyhow, he doesn’t seem to be violent as a young man (though the war might change that in him), so Alvar has nothing to fear for now -- except, perhaps, a slap (on the face, not on his butt, or it might get things going again). A slap that comes indeed, in the form of words.

simcatcher replied to your photo “Along the perceptible dimming of light, both out and indoors, came the...”

Maybe it's just to me, but Alvar seemed much more of an evanescent young man, a dreamer, all in all, a little boy in his college years. I like the contrast with the strong, very manly version of himself all these years later. After the war and all its horrors, I wonder if there's still room for the little boy inside him ? He's quite an intriguing character :)

Thank you so very much for reading my characters so well!!!!

You’ve been doing that since The Last Canvas, and it says a lot about you as a writer and a reader and probably as a person, too.

I did want to stress this contrast between 19 yo Alvar and him at 31 yo (I guess somewhere around that age, at least), just as you have perceived it.

But of course, this is not the only development arch this character will cover.

I’d say there is no room at all for the little boy inside him at the moment. But, after some struggle at Pennington Park (Chapter 1), Alvar opened space for the ‘little boy’ (Apollo Jim) he is now carrying in his arms -- and how that will affect him is what we will see throughout the story.

While in the sex scene Alvar was referred to as ‘boy’, in the scenes of the present, Apollo Tim is ‘the boy’, so that’s another change of perspective over time.

And, of course, we still don’t know why Alvar decided to rescue the boy, though I’m sure an idea is forming in some reader’s minds...

#declarations-of-drama #simcatcher #simblu

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socialattractionuk · 6 years ago

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The Sex Resort Diaries: Racing goats, threesome offers, and a swingers’ wedding

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

We’re Ellen and Chris, two classic Brits uncomfortable being naked and talking openly about sex stuff.

So when we were offered a holiday to Hedonism II, ‘the sexiest place on earth’, ‘an all-inclusive paradise’, and an ‘iconic adult playground’, we had to say yes.

Hedonism II is, essentially, a sex resort. There are nude beaches, classes on fetishes, and necklaces that declare your sexual interests to other guests.

While we’re here, we’ll be writing daily diary posts about what it’s like at Hedonism II’s Young Swingers Week, culminating in a final article about what we discovered at the end of the week.

Here’s our recap of day four.

Chris

Today is the big day.

Scores of people line the beach before the ceremony, all ready to watch something special.

There’s just the small matter of Rob and Emma’s wedding before the goat race can begin*, but in the words of house party playlist immortals Panic! At The Disco: ‘what a beautiful wedding’.

A flowered arch stands alone under the hot Jamaican sun. Rob waits nervously, in just a bow tie and tuxedo pants, with an ordained minister. Then Emma makes her way down the aisle in white lacy underwear and a floaty cover-up for a veil.

Their vows make the beginning of Up look unsentimental, they promise to support each other in their ‘slutty, rock and roll life’ together and then I am done, perished from witnessing true love first-hand – and having that many rum punches before 1pm.

(Picture: Ellen Scott/Metro.co.uk)

In the nude reception afterwards, word slips that somebody we’ve met is interested in bonking the both of us. Even at a swingers’ retreat, this absolutely boggles my mind and I reject the notion and file it under ‘silly’.

But then the three of us reconvene in the sea, playing the coordinated dance of ‘I am British and far too polite to address this directly’ until something stings my butt cheek underwater and I have to leave the sea completely unannounced in the worst Daniel Craig 007 impression that the world has ever seen.

At best she might think I’m being incredibly rude, at worst she thinks I’ve shat myself.

There’s a rather good seminar on being respectful and how to say no to advances, but because we miss the first two minutes of this and think it will cause too much commotion to swoop in from the sides, I listen to the entire thing from a table in the distance.

‘A more secure Me, makes for a stronger We,’ I repeat, agreeingly behind some bread sticks and whispered quietly in case any of my peers hear me.

*yes, your boi’s goat led him to a photo-finish victory and we won our goat race leg, granting me a fridge-worthy certificate, one year’s membership to a popular adult dating website, and any butt plug of my choosing. Score.

Ellen

It’s a packed day. There’s breakfast, then ice breakers and couples’ speed dating, then we’re guests at a wedding on the prude beach, then it’s the goat race, then another party at the nude pool, followed by dinner and an EDM party.

A busy schedule means I’m not as devastated by losing the book I started reading yesterday as I normally would be (The Lido, if you’re interested. Was really enjoying it so far), but I’m still a little bummed.

Let’s start with the ice breakers, which Chris and I accidentally sit out because we don’t realise the seminar has started.

The group sort themselves into inner and outer circles, cycling round to talk to new people with prompts like ‘would you rather never have sex again or never use the internet again?’. It’s a lot like an office day, challenging your awkwardness and forcing you to at least talk to people outside of your immediate circle.

Except unlike an office day out, guests are mentally totting up a list of which couples they’d like to swap with. There’s also a lot more fetish gear.

(Picture: Ellen Scott/Metro.co.uk)

After that, the wedding, which unexpectedly makes me tear up. The bride wears white lingerie. The groom wears just a bowtie and underwear. They look into each other’s eyes as they read their vows and guests stand naked apart from their orange Young Swingers backpacks and name necklaces.

I really don’t expect to get emotional about the marriage of two people we met yesterday (and who have expressed interest in taking us to the playroom), but it’s clear they’re incredibly in love. Thankfully the Jamaican heat drenches my face in enough sweat to hide any tears.

Right then. Champagne popped and cake cut, it’s time to race some goats. I sign Chris and I up without fully understanding that we’ll need to run with the goats, not just choose one that looks like a winner.

When it’s Chris’s turn, he is naked and very nervous about one of the goat’s taking a fancy to nibbling his penis.

He wins. The grand prize: A year’s subscription to and a mesh bikini.

I come second, my goat letting me down by stopping to pee at the starting line.

That should be the weirdest encounter of the day, but I reckon that spotting two men snorting lines of coke off a woman’s pubic bone in the nude pool pips the goat race to the post.

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We also discover that a single woman has expressed interest in a threeway with me and Chris. We react to that information like teens who’ve heard that a friend of a friend ‘like likes us’.

We have no clue what to do with that revelation, proceeding to eat a cheese toastie on the beach while the single woman’s friend subtly leaves us to talk as a throuple.

I have no idea how to initiate a threesome… or if we actually want to.

Instead we head to the ingeniously named Pastafari restaurant, eat as many carbs as we can, then retreat to our bedroom to snooze through EDM beats and pretend that this is all a totally normal holiday.

The Sex Resort Diaries will be running all week. You can read day one, day two, and day three and check back tomorrow to read about us attending a workshop on spanking.

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