#I am a sapphic who loves a good butch let me tell you

[xeemaee]

I see your fem wlw labru and raise you butch wlw labru (they look nearly the exact same as canon but they both use she/they and have tits)

Look at these two, believe in your heart they are butches looking at each other, go insane with me

[eunnieboo]

IYHM ask replies! (2/3)

🌸 @csevet asked:

hi my copy of iyhm just came in and my fiancee and i snuggled up and read the whole thing cover to cover and CRIED!!! i love when lesbians 💕💞💝💗💝💗💘💞💖💗💝

AHHHHH thank you SO much!!! OMGGGGG 🥺 live laugh lesbian..... 💞💗💖💕💖💞💕💖💗

🌸 @chrysalis-the-butterfly asked:

I read If You'll Have Me a few months ago and I loved it! Your art is so pretty and Momo and PG are such cool characters! 🥰 If you're okay with sharing, I'd be interested to hear what inspired you during the creative process? Were there any pieces of media or any other characters which influenced the formation of Momo and PG? Or did you do your own thing?

oh my gosh! thank you!! i really love character interactions and relationship dynamics, so i wanted to depict two girls who seemed like opposites - one cool and laid-back, the other soft and sweet. after a while they started to take on a life of their own, and i thought it'd be wonderful if their story could evoke the feeling of a shoujo romance!

i had a lot of things on my mind when i wrote the script... friendship, intimacy, communication... communication can be so hard! sometimes it's harder with someone you're close to because their opinion is so important to you. and what happens when you've got a character who's non-confrontational and has low self-esteem + someone who prefers actions over words, and would rather burn bridges than admit to feeling vulnerable? how would they get past that? i wanted to write their flaws as believable, and how their life experiences have shaped the way they think about themselves / the way they respond to personal conflict... but also how they learn from each other and grow ❤️ tysm for the question!!

@bisexualgoof asked:

Hi Eunnie! I just finished reading “If You’ll Have Me” and let me tell you, it was spectacular! I saw it in a local bookstore the other day and it was a no brainer to grab. The characters are so fun, the story is beautiful and heartfelt, and honestly every character is attractive… I especially fell in love with the pages of the books without words, especially 312-313, it made me cry. Such beautiful art! I related to PG’s annoyance with her long hair, I felt very seen with her comments. I’ve definitely said “I’d like to forget” so many times myself, right to my butch heart haha. Thank you for sharing this story with the world, and thank you in particularly for your acknowledgment at the end of the book, it made me feel seen. What an amazing love story, hope to see more of this adorable couple in the future!

oh my goodness!! this is so lovely and wonderful and ahhh T_T thank you so very much. it's such a dream, having these girls be out in the world with their personalities and backstories revealed at last! and i'm so happy to hear about the cast and side characters, i love designing people hehe ♥ i'll definitely keep drawing this couple, alongside more sapphic couples that are to come 😍 thank you!!

🌸 @skittles-rainbow-cat asked:

HI HI HI!!! you’ve been one of my fave artists forever and i just got done with iyhm and it’s sooooo amazing im in love with it. also i think strawberry blonde by chloe moriondo fits mono and pg very well :] i hope you’re having a good day and thank you for all your art it heals me in many ways <3333

HIIII omg!!! thank you so much! this song is so cuteeee oh my gosh this line:

Takes my hand in hers when the lights aren’t on Smaller than mine and oh god I am gone

it's so sweet ;_; thank you forever, i hope you're having a wonderful day!! <3 <3 <3

🌸 @lord-of-the-froggies asked:

Howdy Eunnie! I know you're probably swamped with work right now, but I just wanna let you know that I got my copy of your book today!! I'm gonna start reading it right away, it looks and feels amazing. From a fellow Washington artist to another--congratulations on such a huge achievement!

yay hello fellow washingtonian! and fellow artist!! thank you so much for your kind words 🥺 and i'm so glad the book got to you safely! wishing you a happy read~

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I just found your art today and after scrolling through your stuff I went and pre-ordered your book. I'm so excited!!

omggg thank you that means so much!!! ;_; <3

🌸 @ddooyoung asked:

I got my (signed!) copy of the book, and I love it SO MUCH. It's everything I was hoping and more. I love finally getting to know them, especially Momo. Since the first time I saw them, I thought Momo was a lot like me and now I have confirmation 😆 Thank you so much for writing such a wonderful story!!! I'm excited for everything you do 💗

WAHH thank you so much!! yesss i'm so overjoyed to finally share their story after so long! i hope the signature turned out okay, i was very nervous signing books for the first time (shaky hand and everything) 😱 i think next time it would be fun to make a custom stamp and stamp a doodle next to my signature hehe. thank you again!!! 💕

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I somehow missed the news about your having created a whole damn book?? was just flipping through yu & me books's holiday gift guide and did a double take when I saw priscilla and momo!! zoomed in and sure enough, there was your name at the bottom! congrats on ihym and congrats on being featured on rec lists from shops as cool as yu & me 🎉😍

omggg thank you thank you!! 🥰 AHHH yu & me books looks so amazing! i've been to new york just once but if i ever get to go back i have to visit them... i'm always looking for indie bookstores to throw my money at 😤

🌸 Anonymous asked:

1. Will there be an “if you’ll have me” sequel? 2. Is Momo her full name or a Nick name? If it’s a Nick name what is her full name? Thank you i love your work! ❤️😊

ahh there's no sequel planned as of right now! but i'd love to make one if i get the chance... i have some ideas that i think would be fun <3 and momo gardner is her full name! i liked gardner because it made me think of flowers ☺️❤️ thank you so much!!

🌸 @upsidedown-shadow-dreamer asked:

Hello, long time fan here. If You'll Have Me was delivered an hour ago and I've already finished my first read. OMG it's AMAZING. I love the story, the beautiful art, the inner thoughts, the pacing, the page color changes for back story… Just major WOW. I hope you are so proud of this work. I'm already looking forward to reading it again. Thank you!!!

this is sooooo AHHHHH T_T i'm in tears. i can't tell you how happy and thrilled i am to hear this!!! it's so encouraging and uplifting and ahh!! i want to make more stories... and just knowing that this book will be read by the same person more than once, omg! it's truly the highest of praise. thank you from the bottom of my heart <333

🌸 Anonymous asked:

Hello!! I just remembered I could borrow graphic novels as e-books from my local library, found IYHM, devoured the entire thing in one sitting, then went through your tags so I could look at all your other IYHM art, and I was wondering if you'll make more stories about Momo and PG because I can't get enough of them! Absolutely obsessed with these two and I love seeing them so happy together 💖💖💖💖

hello!! oh i'm absolutely over the moon about this! i can definitely see myself making a follow-up book if i'm so lucky 🙏 but i'll keep on drawing more minicomics and illustrations no matter what!! thank you so much for this wonderful message 💕💕💕💕

🌸 Anonymous asked:

hi!! love love love your art!!! do you think we can expect to see another graphic novel about momo and priscilla in the future?

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I’ve read IYHM so many times already and I absolutely loved it!!!! Are you planning on writing another book with Momo and PG? Is is there a way we can buy more of your stories?

thank you both so much!!!! <3 a sequel is actually one of the ideas i pitched for my second book! my editor cautioned against it in case IYHM didn't perform well, so i ended up going in a different direction - but my fingers are crossed for future opportunities 😤 realistically, it will probably depend on sales... but for the record, i'd want to do one regardless of the numbers...

i have one more book coming out, which i'm working on right now! the timeline is a bit up in the air atm but i'll try to keep everyone posted. making a book is so slow but i'm so grateful to you all for waiting 🥺💛

🌸 @randomqueernoun asked:

Do you make webcomics for other apps/websites? If yes where can I find them and what do I search in them to find your comics?

ahh not at the moment! but thank you SO much for the interest! one of my biggest goals right now is to set up a website where i have all my work in one place, and that would definitely be the place where i post future webcomics 👀

also, just as an aside... i want to make webcomics so bad. i think after my next book, i might take a break from traditional publishing to do that. sometimes i can't believe i'm drawing hundreds of pages i can't post... i'm like, how are people supposed to read this if i can't show them? how will they know?! ahh it kills me... but yes... someday!!!

part 3 to come~

[piratekane]

reading wrap-up

I didn't do a Reading Wrap-Up(TM) in February so maybe I'll do two months now. Here's the stuff I read between February 1 - March 31 and my brief and unsolicited feelings on them.

Summary: The queer was strong these two months. But like my brother days, squinting off into the distance: "Could be, hmmm. More."

February: A big book month. I had a vacation this month and read A Lot. I don't remember the days, just the page counts. Almost all my books were bangers this month though!

Top mentions in no particular order:

Faebound by Saara El-Arifi - umm, impeccable. A 5 star read. This book was masterful. The magic was clever and if you were doing some close reading, there was a special reward for you. There's a neat plot twist at the end I didn't see coming but just enhanced the story even further when I went back to read a little. Good character work, good pacing. My chief complaint: this is a trilogy series and it just came out. How will I wait?! 5/5 stars

The Kamogawa Food Detectives by Hisashi Kashiwai (translated by Jesse Kirkwood) - this was an adorable story of a father and daughter detective agency that hunts for food. You tell them your favorite meal, what you remember is in it, the person who made it for you, and they hunt down the ingredients and make your dish for you, replicating it as best as they can. Each patron had emotional reasons for hunting down their favorite meals and it was all heartwarming. The food sounded delicious. This was such a great and cute read.

The Burning Kingdoms books by Tasha Suri (The Jasmine Throne and The Oleander Sword)- how did I not read this sooner?! Why did it take me so long?! Why did I read all 1000+ pages in two days? It was worth it. Truly. I am desperate for the third book because I need to know how this goes for Priya and Malini especially after- Well, never mind. After that. Please let it be November already. 5/5 stars

Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake - again, here I am late to the party. But what a party. I fell in love with Astrid in Delilah Green Doesn't Care and was so excited to see her story continue. Astrid, you disaster, I am so glad you got your happy ending with a soft butch who is good with her hands. After that fucking man, you deserve the world. And you're so disgustingly in love. Love that for you, truly. Keep it up, girl. 4/5 stars

Queer rating: good. 13 out of 15 books were sapphic. Go me.

March: A small book month. I was so emotionally tapped this month that I spent a lot of nights doom-scrolling and making sure my dog was breathing instead of reading. April will be better!

Top mentions in no particular order:

Lies We Sing to the Sea by Sarah Underwood - this was just some great mythology stuff. I was so deep into this story that I looked up, realized 90% of the book had flown by, and I wasn't sure how the hell Underwood was going to wrap it up. But she did! And it was such a great ending! I mean, I was sad and elated and I think that's how you're supposed to leave a book when you love the characters and their journey is earned and realistic. It was also not too myth heavy, which I liked. Pesky curses, though. They'll fuck you right up. 4.5/5

Cleat Cute by Meryl Wilsner - I love a good romcom to break up the heavy stuff. And I love adversaries-to-lovers. And I love watching soccer. So basically this was a great book to scratch those itches. Much smuttier than I thought it was going to be and I had to put it down once to be like, well they certainly did that, but overall I had a fun time reading this and my wife bought me Mistakes Were Made by Wilsner for another brain cleanser (maybe. I've heard *things*). 4/5

Queer rating: "Could be, hmmm. More." 2 out 7 books. Come on, self.

[nedlittle]

top 5 most underrated MCR songs 👉🏻👉🏻

burn bright - gay transmac swag. that one genius comment was right calling it their third most homosexual song right behind mama and prison. my second fave track of conventional weapons; feels like spitting out a mouthful of blood and getting gravel in your knees. the spanish guitar! you made me who i am. be afraid of what i am. you know you'll never get to heaven with a love like yours. gay people are real.

not that kind of girl - gay transfem swag. burn bright's preppy younger sister. you know this is underrated because whatever beachy waved cw sapphic couple tumblr is currently going goo goo ga ga over at any given moment ought to have at the very fucking least have gifsets with the lyrics to not that kind of girl. there should be not that kind of girl amvs for like. jennifer's body. incredibly unhinged example but are you picking up what i am putting down? where are the amvs. where's my dykey little teen movie. let me paint you a word picture: it is 2005. we open on two kids playing in a sandbox/larping as knights on the playground/exchanging friendship bracelets, protagonist voice over about how she wishes they could go back to being kids because everything was so less complicated. whatever. we zoom out to look at our protagonist--baby butch. bikini kill posters on her walls. truly heinous haircut. wants to Get Out of This Town. we follow her eyes as she looks out the window at the car that just pulled into her neighbours driveway. a person jumps down the stairs and into the car--gasp! it's the other girl from when they were kids. she gets into the car with her bland-ass boyfriend, locks eyes with our girl before driving away. BAM dirty little secret by all american rejects plays over the opening credits. the plot progresses. protagonist is worried that she's never going to amount to anything and will live and die in this shitty town just like her parents and her grandparents, tries to just keep her head down and get through high school unscathed, parents don't want their kids hanging out with her etc. meanwhile her childhood bestie is tightlaced into this life of high achievement: she's got a full ride to a good school, she's in model un and plays three different sports, on track to be valedictorian. a good kid. but she seems unhappy with being saddled with these expectations, her heart isn't in her relationship anymore. hmm i wonder why. the second half of the film follows her as she wonders what's wrong with her life that she doesn't want to live it. tries to avoid kissing her boyfriend, flunks an important test, gets concussed playing soccer because she's thinking about her childhood bestie. accidentally-on-purpose ends up at the only gay bar for miles just to. y'know. see what gay people are like BAM ring of keys moment with the intensity of ten thousand suns. BIG realization that she has to start living her life for herself. also gets a bad haircut. breaks up with her boyfriend. tells her parents she wants to take a year off before going to college. the girls kiss. last shot is them recreating the scene from the opening. fade out. BAM not that kind of girl plays over the closing credits. do you understand my artistic vision? i understand why it wasn't included on any albums proper because sonically and lyrically it doesn't quite fit anywhere but god it's SO fun and bouncy. nancy sinatra shoutout! the boots are big stompy combat boots. loud ass ray backing vocals. if you get it you get it if you don't you don't!!!

the end/dead - i cannot separate these two. they are conjoined twin sisters and even listening to them separately is an act of violence to me. possibly the funniest song transition overall. iconic transgender acceptance and resilience in the face of rapidly oncoming death into YEEEEEEEAHHHHHH. the huge, soaring guitars into an auditory experience i can only describe as these bitches frolicking around in my head while i speedrun the stages of grief. pitch perfect opening to such an ambitious album that i'm still shocked they managed to pull off. can we play either of these live again. can we please. either of them.

disenchanted - as i am disconnected from the fandom as whole and am just having fun with my friends i have no idea how disenchanted ranks amongst the fans as a whole but what i do know is that on the post i made about being thankful mikey gaslit the others to get disenchanted on the album while they were actively being haunted (mikeyway i love you there is so much wrong with you) someone said it was shit and i was overcome with holy rage. you don't get it. it was the roar of the crowd that gave me heartache to sing. you're just a sad song with nothing to say. an all time weeper. makes me experience regret and nostalgia and grief for a live i have never lived. trying to think of the most evil combos for a disenchanted encore. disenchanted/cancer. disenchanted/kids. demo lovers/disenchanted. i know you're there mikey. force your bandmates to put this one back on the setlists again. haunt them if you need to.

bulletproof heart - when i was in high school the only album i really listened to was danger days because i was too intimidated to get into the others. it was the most accessible to me, having listened to almost nothing but fall out boy from the time i was 13-18. i had no friends on my bus route home and it wasn't a long ride, thankfully, but it meant that i only got to listen to a little bit of danger days. depending on how fast i walked from the bus stop i'd make it home it home sometime during sing (also i like sing :( i do think it's good. ppl need to stop being mean to it bc it got airplay and was on glee even tho yeah the glee version was bad). i would do this every day my final semester of high school, the same three tracks, the same walk home. when i go through the one crosswalk by my house i instinctively think of the chorus to bulletproof heart because it always played at the exact same point. i measured my way home in my chemical romance and god i did want to run away from here. iconic gender with the jenny/johnny switch in the second verse. not even my favourite song off danger days but it's so special to me because i needed it to be <3

[wooshofficial]

okay obscure blaseball ships lets gooooo:

bevan wise/annie roland: based on my specific interpretations of them where bevan was a human who ended up becoming a wizard for the fae court and annie was her knight. lots of classic chivalric pining but sapphic.

cantus hojo/mindy kugel: wivesssss. very comfortable weve been together 30 years and know each other well vibes. mindy is poly and also has a husband named bertrand and they’re cute together too.

kichiro guerra/parker meng: DISASTER COUPLE. DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE. been together on and off since highschool. both alternated from the same universe and then both ended up on the worms but only together for about a season bc they both kept going elsewhere (and then kichiro STAYED elsewhere)

jenna maldonado/raúl leal: what if we were non human immortals who gave up our immortality to play blaseball together because we loved humanity and music and then one of us ended up dying and the other later gained a way to protect other players from dying.

winnie mccall/chorby short: this is a ship that my partner got me into and i love them sooooo much. they have the kinda relationship where it feels like they’ve known each other their whole lives. also winnie later getting like demon sound powers plus chorbys whole soul scream makes me go aaaaaaa

winnie mccall/patty fox: ALSO GOOD. love when there is a tiny grumpy butch and a big chill femme. patty doesnt do her own make up or nails but has learned how to so she can pamper winnie and do it for her.

also tillmikejay who i dont talk about much bc i am afraid to get ejected from a salmon cannon but i am an annoying bisexual who loves to make up other annoying bisexuals to think about. also they all have a lot of parallels in lore and sim events. slaps this polycule they can fit so much guilt and only one braincell into them.

I SEE MILLS ON THIS LIST OH BOY

Bevan and Annie - oh that’s such a cool interp!!! Before ur art I only saw the drip wizard interp so I am eating this up gimme more I wan. Moar.

Cantus and Mindy - idk much about these two but that’s so cute I love that

Kichiro and Parker - this is just me. Don’t date me I’m awful at communicating JABDKWNWKNWWK anyways I am rotating it. Maybe both the common Kichi/Allison ship could factor in where on those “off” times Kichi got into this serious relationship with Allison and then Allison died and Kichi. Does not know how to cope with that so she goes back to what she knows and Parker hates it. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaates it.

Jenna and Raúl - Raul does it all in the name of Jenna and then fucking Explodes, lol, and then they kiss in the hall the end

Winnie and Chorby - did you know that the Cas Commute (where Chorby Short and Castillo Turner were routinely EE’d for each other over the course of 5 seasons) happened during the s17 elections, a season after Winnie died? Did you know that Winnie died the SAME SEASON as Chorby joining the mills as an attractor, literally. 59 days after she was on the team. Chorby, dissociating and confused and in a new city clings to the one thing she knows (Winnie) and then that thing DIES, and she’s not even there because she’s in the shadows. This is so tragic and I’m so in love with it omg

WAIT ELI I THINK YOU MEANT SOUL INSTEAD OF SHORT. IVE SEEN THAT SHIP BEFORE I am half and half on it, because I see Chorby Soul as gay, but also in the context of how that season played out it is SO tragic and I eat that shit up. Basically I like both ships

Winnie and Patty - oh that’s cute! See I ship Patty with Hatfield Suzuki in the infamous Patty/Hatty/Ana polycule but I can so get behind this. Sometimes you are a slightly workaholic chef and your chill demon gf has to tell you to get some fucking sleep oh my god. But then she dies and you join the lineup in her memory (I can’t remember if Patty took Winnie’s spot in the lineup but it would absolutely hit if that turns out to be true).

Tillman and Mike and Jaylen - I like to think of this disaster trio as “Mike Townsend Has Two Hands” because while Till and Jay are friends, Till is straight up a gay man who wants to kiss him some baker lips, and Jaylen does not find Tillman attractive in the slightest. Mike Townsend’s bisexual ass, however, finds both of them hot and will gladly give them both his baker lips to smooch. Theyre cute as hell.

[venturethighs]

Craving this so I'm gonna write it. Very dommy nonbinary butch they/them sapphic gangster/mobster Venture that's massively possessive of you to the point they'd probably destroy anyone else with their fists for looking at you wrong.

Venture Tiddy!!! Parent? Sorry Parent? Sorry Parent? Sorry Parent? Sorry Parent? Sorry Parent? Sorry P–

Cyberpunk 1930s because I think that's a cool concept, and I think it works exceptionally well for this au

Reader is AFAB and feminine + uses she/her pronouns this time, may use they/them in the future again but it's heavily WLW themed so ya know. Venture AFAB because we love that nonbinary butch bush definitely doesn't have a little kiss mark tattoo down there no sir

Mwah, goodnight

AI GOTTA PROOF READ THIS BUT I EANTED TO PUBLISH IT BEFORE EVERYONE WENT TO BED SO IF TOU SEE A TYPO: NO YOU DO NOT. AND YES I WILL FIX IT The deed is done, everything should be relatively readable now 🙂‍↕️

You're a master at carrying your tray considering you've never once spilled a single drink nor dropped a plate of food when you were on the clock. Not once– you've even been known to catch other waiters trays when they're the ones who trip and fall.

You're a bit proud of it, actually. Good for you! You've got a knack for serving. The tips definitely aren't something to complain about either.

The patrons really enjoy stuffing the bills inside your skirt line– sometimes your bra– and so far you've never had a problem with anyone getting out of line.

Not tonight.

It's a rowdier crowd, and you even saw one of your coworkers get groped by one of the louder patrons who had a little to much too drink. It was satisfying to watch whoever it was get dragged off into the storming night by two angry mobsters.

And that was that. Right?

Oh, if only.

"Another round, please!" A harsh, slurred voice yells.

You're in work mode. You gather all the alcohol and pop the tops like it's second nature to you. Soft fizz spills over the glass lid and onto the serving tray. Bottle by bottle hits the table and the amber colored liquid disappears near instantly.

"Thanks, babe." A finger tucks a $20 inside the top of your skirt.

You smile and turn to walk away. Except, the hand that gives you the tip suddenly reaches out to grab you around the wrist. You stumble in your heels and nearly fall to the floor in surprise. The person tugs your arm and suddenly you're sitting in a drunk strangers lap.

You open your mouth to defend yourself, but you're cut off in immediately.

"How much for a dance?" He asks.

"I'm not available for that." You tell them.

You get up. He yanks you right back down again.

"Excuse me. I wasn't done talking to you." The expression on his face shifts immediately. "How much do you cost, anyway? What do you think I am, poor?" The person scoff.

"No. I don't. I'm just not available for you– I only dance for one person." You explain.

You shift uncomfortably in his lap.

"Is that one person here right now?" He raises an eyebrow.

Your eyes quietly scan the crowd. Sloan is not in their usual spot.

"Yes." You lie.

"I saw you looking around. Where are they then? Maybe they can be convinced, hm?" A smile filled with malice scrawls across his face.

"They're..." Your heart pounds inside your rib cage. "They're upstairs."

"Oh? Probably with another dancer then. I'm sure they're not loyal." You feel a finger poke around in your fishnets.

Sweat beads on your forehead. His other hand tugs at your shirt, translucent to reveal the cash tucked safely away inside your lace covered bra.

"Wouldn't you like a regular?" He tries to convince you.

"I can assure you that they are loyal, thank you very much." You assert yourself as he turns a little too handsy for your liking. "So am I."

You stand up again. He does not let go.

"Let go of me or I'll scream!" You raise your voice enough that people are starting to get interested.

"Whatever, bitch." He forcibly reaches into your skirt and takes his money back.

"You can't just–" Your cut off when he stands up.

He towers over you and uses every inch of his height to intimidate you. Without any warning, a hand connects to the side of your powdered face. You hit the floor and sprain an ankle on the way down– bunny ears falling somewhere nearby as money lands around you like rain.

No one dares reach for it. The entire bar is silent as a ruby red hand mark starts appearing on the right side of your lovely face.

Tears form in your eyes and your mascara starts to run.

You struggle to stand up, near embarrassing yourself as you squirm helplessly on the floor until you feel a familiar touch against your back.

"Are you okay?" Sloan whispers to you. They gather up the money you dropped and safely tuck it inside your clothes again.

Your hair hides the hand mark until their tattooed hand tucks strands behind your ear. Not even your foundation could hide that level of redness.

Rage courses through their veins. They help you up, only to end up collapsing against their toned figure, barely able to stand on your own. Dark tears slip down your cheeks and you bury your face into their shirt collar to hide your weakness.

"Who did this to you?" They place a kiss to your forehead.

You turn and point to the man who hit you. He sobers up quick.

"Here. Sit. I'll take care of it, mi princesa." They reassure you in that same gentle voice. The voice they used only for you.

You lean back into the worn leather seat– yet still as comfortable as the day you got it. One of your coworkers gets you an ice pack and a change of shoes. You thank them and they smile, going back to serving patrons as the bar slowly becomes lively once again.

You watch as your beloved shoves your assailant towards the back door and continues their way outside. Except– your heart is filled with worry.

...

"Who do you think you are–" Their inked knuckles connect directly to your assailants face. "Putting a hand on her like that?" They spat.

"Hey– I'm already on my way out– just let me leave, okay?" He puts his hands up in an attempt to surrender. He sounds more annoyed than scared.

Sloan grabs his shirt collar and puts their face directly in his. Their teeth are baring like an angry dog.

"You put a hand on my doll! My angel!" They scream. "You think I'm going to let you just walk away?"

The aggressiveness continues. Fists are thrown, eventually drawing blood, before the man gets tired of the scuffle and reaches into his jacket.

A soft click.

He pulls out a loaded gun before pointing it directly at your beloved. The first bullet grazes their cheek, and it's only their quick thinking that saves them from being shot directly in the chest afterwards. One good lunge and the two of them fumble to the ground as the gun spirals on the wet concrete.

Thunder.

Lightning.

Sloan reaches for it, aiming it directly at his forehead.

"Stop!" You scream.

It gets both their attention.

"Mi princesa–" Their voice turns gentle on a dime, while their hand remains wrapped around the throat of the man who hit you. "Go back inside. You don't need to see this."

"No– please–" You hobble your way over, leaning on the brick wall for support along the way and they stand up to catch you when you inevitably collapse.

"Don't do it–" You beg. "It's not you."

They're quiet for a moment. Then, they turn to the man on the ground.

"Get out of here. If I ever see your face again..." Their voice trails off.

The man scrambles to his feet and disappears into the night. Sloan clicks the safety back on before storing their newfound gun inside their pants pocket. A soft sigh drops from their lips.

"Let's get you back inside. You don't need to catch a cold." They nuzzle you softly.

...

They help you undress out of your wet clothes in your shared room upstairs and count all the tips you made working tonight.

"You did good." They compliment you. "You always do good."

They store the money in a nearby safe so you can treat yourself later.

"Let me dry your hair." They slip into the bathroom to grab a towel.

"You need to change, too. Or you'll get sick." You tell them.

They toss the towel playfully over your head before ruffling your hair. You giggle as a result– music to their ears. You're finally free after a minute of vigorous shaking. A kiss lands directly on your lips.

"Don't worry about me." They finally pull the damp towel off. "I'll be fine."

You shake your head. Without another word you reach out and pull on their unmade tie, loosely wrapped around their unbuttoned shirt with all those tattoos you love hiding underneath a thin layer of damp cotton.

"You, too." You demand. "You can't protect me if you're sick."

They laugh.

"I'd protect you even if I were on my deathbed, but whatever my baby wants..." They begin unbuttoning the rest of their shirt before dropping it to the floor, forgotten. "She gets."

Another soft giggle. They love hearing you happy.

"Can she get some cuddles then?" You jokingly flutter your eyelashes.

"Of course she can!" They scoop you up, letting your hair fan out against the pillow as they lay down next to you.

Your hand sprawls out against their tattooed chest. You can feel it rise and fall with every breath, then feeling it quicken as it your hand strays lower and lower before it stops just above their happy trail. Then, your index finger slips underneath the waistband of their pants and boxers. They bite their lip in response.

"Mm. You're hurt."

Not what they expected you to say.

"Oh–" They notice the battering of their body. "I've taken worse. Please don't worry." They reassure you.

"It's not that." You confess. "It's just– if I only took his offer, you wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place."

They reach over and caress your face. Their entire aura radiates such a distinct softness– you could never make them angry. You could never hurt their feelings. You were truly a precious treasure meant to be protected.

"Mi princesa..." Their voice trails off as they pull you in closer. "You stood up for yourself and told him no, and I'm proud of you for doing that."

Your memory flashes back to the conversation you had with him. More tears. They wipe them away with their ring covered fingers.

"He talked badly about you." You sniffle. You're glad there's no more makeup to cry off.

Your hand moves from above their hips to touch the one on your face.

"I don't care what people say about me, you know that." Their thumb strays and delicately brushes against your lips.

You so badly want to welcome it in.

"It's not that." You think about your other coworkers, dolled up and preforming to the best of their ability. They were all so gorgeous.

"What is it, then? What's bothering my angel?" They lean in even further and place kisses to your rain spattered face.

"Mm. He said you weren't loyal to me." You pout. You can't meet their gaze.

They feel the anger boiling up inside again– but they push it aside. Oh, to have that fuckers head on their wall, just above the fireplace.

"Mi princesa. Please look at me." They ask you.

So you do.

Your eyes melt their heart every single time. They remind them of priceless jewels– the kind you'd have to kill a man for. Yet, they get to look at them every day for as long as they want. They consider themself unbelievably lucky.

And it didn't just stop there.

They think about you: your kindness, your selflessness– they remember the time you came home soaked to the bone because you had rescued a homeless kitten. You happily donated money to soup kitchens to feed people during the current economic crisis unfolding. Hell, you even volunteered more times than they could count. You gave away your money like it was useless to you.

You were soft.

So was your body– your curves, your skin. Their hand strays down your naked body and briefly stops to hold your side and pull you in even closer. They think about how you dress up to work at their little club at the end of town that draws in everyone after a hard day of work. You provided people the eye candy that they so desperately craved.

So did the others– but none of them made their heart melt, their pulse flutter, their stomach and knees weak quite like you.

Especially when you danced.

For them.

Only them.

They twist off their rings and place them on the nightstand. Their lips press harshly against yours, repeatedly kissing you as they reach to cup your face. Oh, those soft little moans you made when you're getting nice and excited... they feel their heartbeat shoot straight between their legs. They only pull back to catch their breath and once more their thumb brushed against your wet lips.

Now, you welcome it inside your mouth fully, softly suckling it and placing kisses to its callused surface.

"Do me a favor." They break the silence with that same delicate voice. "Get your lipstick."

You do as your told. They watch you apply it in the mirror like you do every night. Then, you're right by their side again like a dream come true.

"Now kiss me." They tell you. "And don't stop."

You feel your face blush as they maneuver you on top of them.

"Where...?" You ask.

"Everywhere." They answer.

You can barely control yourself as your lips once more press against theirs, roughly kissing them before pulling back to leave a colorful mark behind. It's smeared– but it's fine. They wanted it to be that way.

"Now reapply it." They watch you follow their every command.

"Get back to it."

More kisses– this time, sprinkling their face and leaving stains behind until you run out. Then, you reapply even more, putting kisses atop of past ones before their fawn colored face was covered in your love.

"Keep going."

More lipstick. More kisses. More skin covered– trailing down their jaw and neck, right down to their chest where your tongue comes out to play.

Soft whimpers reverberate in their throat.

"Keep going–" They encourage you. "Keep. Going."

A harsh edge taints their voice. You like it a little more than you expected.

Your lips wrap around one of their breasts and you mimic the same actions as when their thumb was probing your mouth– softly tracing over all those sensitive tattoos, swirling your tongue against their hardened nipple before switching to the other side to leave more visible kisses behind.

"Good girl. Keep going. Don't stop until I say so." Another whimper catches in their throat.

So you kiss. And kiss. And kiss. And kiss, and kiss, and kiss– their stomach, their shoulders, their arms, everywhere, anywhere.

You feel yourself lose control for a moment and pitifully pull at their waistbands again.

"Not yet. Not yet–" They breathe. "Can you walk?"

"For the most part. Iceing it helped, but it's a little sore still." You sit up and reach for your ankle that you twisted.

"Good." Their breath grows heavier as their thoughts race inside their mind. "Can you walk long enough to go put your favorite record on?"

You giggle again. You knew what that meant.

"I think I can do that."

It takes a minute of flipping through all the labels until you find your absolute favorite. Then, you set up the player and the needle hits the vinyl as a light static fills the air.

It's automatic.

Your body sways with the rhythm and you lose yourself to it– but you're careful not to push yourself too hard. Even so, you're breathtakingly beautiful. Just like the day they first saw you do it.

You were on stage: the closing act. You barely wore anything– and yet they still wanted to see so much more.

It's been years since then. Yet, they still can't get used to it.

You sway, twirl and tease your way all the way back to the bed. They reach out for you when you get there, feeling your warmed skin against their own, satisfied with your little show.

Just for them.

You're nearly out of breath– your hand splays against the fabric of their pants once again.

"Please...?" Your lower lip curls into that signature pout.

You tease them by rubbing them through the fabric. The most angelic moan falls from their color covered lips.

"Just for you."

You snicker.

It takes no time at all to carefully help them out of their clothes. You didn't want to risk hurting them further– so you're going to take it as gentle as possible– or... so you thought.

You go from being on top to being nearly trapped under their figure in ten seconds flat. Their face lowers itself to yours. A hand grabs at your breast and you near inaudibly whine with every brush of their fingers against your nipple.

"My princess." They look into your eyes like you were cornered prey. "My princess. My angel. My doll. My one and only."

Their other hand sneaks to the other side. You feel yourself lift into their playful touches as more of your heavenly sounds escape into the lust filled atmosphere.

"Tell me what you want me to do." They kiss you as hard as they can. "And I'll do it."

"Mmm– touch me where you know I like it." You plea.

They adjust themself accordingly. Their hand instantly dives between your legs, prodding against your slickness. You give them encouraging moans to go further. A finger then slips between your folds and twirls against your pulsating center.

"Like that?" They smile.

You grind yourself against their hand, their fingers moving in time with every light thrust you make. More moans– all involuntary.

"Use your words, sweet angel." They tease you.

"Y-yes! Like that!" Your back arches further off your shared mattress as they continue their repetitions.

They feel their ego growing from watching all your delicious squirming.

"Who's the only person allowed to make you feel this good?" They ask.

"Mmh–!" You take a deep breath as the pleasure takes off. "– Y-you!"

"No, mi princesa. Say my name." Their body tenses as they wait to hear it.

You gasp as they hit a particularly nice angle. Heavy breathing follows as a result.

"Say it as loud as you can." They add. "It's just you and me. No need to be so shy."

You throw your head back into the pillow. "Sloan–!" You cry out, followed by a whimper.

"Sloan...? Who...?" They grin.

"Cameron–! Sloan Cameron–! Sloan Cameron is the only one who can make me feel this good!" You tell them exactly what they want to hear.

"Good. Good girl." They praise you.

Only to rip their hand away from you, leaving you throbbing for more.

You grasp the blanket below you in disappointment. "No–" You whisper.

A soft laugh stirs from their chest yet again. "Not yet. I want to finish with you."

They don't make you wait for long, however. They sit up and lock their legs in between yours.

That's when you see it.

A lipstick tattoo– your name traced underneath it.

"Do you like it...?" They bite their lip– for once in their adult life, they're nervous.

Your finger traces against it.

"You got it? For me?" Your face could not be anymore red.

"Wouldn't have done it for anyone else." They admit.

"Oh–" You cover your face from the overwhelming emotion coursing through your body. "Of course I love it! How could I not?"

They reach down to nuzzle you and kiss you one last time before the ride of your life.

"I love you more, though." You add.

"I'm afraid that's not true. I love you more than you could ever love someone like me." They kiss you again. And if they could– they'd kiss you forever.

More giggles. "Then prove it. Otherwise, I love you more."

No more talking– it was time to show you just how much they adore you.

Their grinding starts off slow and steady, making sure not to hurt you or themself in the process. They drink in every single sound you make for them as a result. Every whimper– every whine– every moan and sigh and cry and plea that leaves your exhausted throat.

"So good for me." They sigh.

After a minute their movements become more energetic and excited. All self control is slowly leaving their body.

"Look at you– you're beautiful." They meant every word. "Every part of you. Indescribably beautiful."

You feel the energy inside your hips condensing, spiraling, ready to explode with every passing second. You're gripping the blanket underneath your sweating body like your life depended on it, meeting every thrust of theirs with one of your own. Secretly, you wish time could stop– locking you in this moment with them forever, perpetually reliving the mind shattering pleasure for as long as you both wanted.

"Are you close–?" Sweat drips off their forehead and onto your body.

"So close–!" You whimper in ecstasy. "So, so close!"

Their movements become frantic and sporadic. They so desperately wanted to come with you– even praying for it– watching your eyes roll back into your head as your chest lightly bounces with every grind against your lovely hips.

"Come with me, then." Their breath hitches. "Can you do that? For me?"

No promises– it feels too good– but you'd try your best regardless.

"I–I'm ready– whenever you are–" You bite your lip and focus in on your own rhythm.

"I love you– so much–" You hear your name underneath their heavy panting. "Will you– marry me?"

Your eyes fly open in shock.

You open your mouth to answer.

But not before your orgasm shakes you to your very soul.

"Ah–! Yes! Yes—!" Tears start falling yet again. "Oh my God! Yes—!"

You convulse so heavily that their hands reach out to hold you, cradling your head as they come along side you. The room is nearly spinning for a moment before you feel your soul reenter your body from being launched into the astral plane.

No more words are exchanged. It's just the two of you holding each other– reveling in your shared comfort– while your beloved just became the happiest gangster alive.

...

Their hand grasps at your hips.

"Don't move an inch. I want everyone to see that you're mine, got it?" They whisper to you, placing a soft kiss to your neck.

You whimper in their ear to tease them, "adjusting" yourself in their lap to make them as hot and bothered as you could manage.

Another squeeze. You can hardly yourself back from kissing them further– so you do, leaving lipstick marks behind– almost trailing underneath their button up shirt.

In the distance, other girls are dancing. They are dressed in the skimpiest outfits, serving the best liquor smugglers had to offer.

And their eyes remain on you the entire time.

High key? I need more butch Venture.

Like I just keep thinking of them as a 1930s speakeasy butch and them having you up in the corner while people are dancing and having you in their lap.

They give you sips of their drink while they are taking drags of their cigar.

Gangster!Venture? Yummy... 🤤

They're at an underground club and it just so happens there's an incredibly cute waiter that keeps passing them by?

Oh my GOD– do you think they'd get a little protective over you? Some sleazebag gets a little too handsy or some asshole gets a little uppity after drinking too much?

Them rolling up their sleeves and showing off all those tattoos? Hoooooooooo

[lavenderatlarge]

Too pretty to be a lesbian

“You don’t look gay!”

“What? But you’re so pretty!”

    There are so many assumptions about sapphic women I wish I could change, but if I had a nickel for every time I’ve been told I don’t look gay because I fit an arbitrary standard of beauty, I’d have a lot of nickels.

    People outside the community seem to think I should take this as a compliment, but really what they’re doing is saying, I believe that lesbianism is ugly, and you are the exception to this rule. It’s distressing, to say the least, to see this hatred of gay women bleed into what The Straights (TM) think is acceptable, regular conversation. No, I won’t take that as a compliment, because it isn’t one. It’s an insult to me and every woman like me, rooted in homophobia from years past, rooted in the assumption that lesbians are morally dirty, that our lives and very souls are ugly. Telling a woman of color that she’s “pretty for a black girl” isn’t really calling her pretty; it’s calling other WOC inherently undesirable. The same goes for us. 

    Sure, fine- you can have the benefit of a doubt- let’s say the intentions were good. You didn’t mean to insult me or my culture of women who love freely. But you did. The intentions don’t absolve the act- you tell me I’m good looking, but you compare me to the butches you associate with queerness and you shun them for their disregard of femininity. You’ve insulted my community, and you’ve insulted the women I love, calling masculine women ugly because they are masculine while you call me beautiful solely because I am not. It’s a thinly-veiled barb at masculine women, and at lesbianism as a whole. Do not qualify your praises nor your criticisms- celebrate queer women without conditions, lift us up and show us we are seen- and yes, that applies to every fat, butch, black, disabled, trans, and otherwise lesbian out there. It applies to all of us. We are deserving of respect regardless of our level of perceived conformity.

Wishing you love and respect, and a lack of conditions.

- Lavender

[chocopalustre]

are U interested in reading my final paper for a course on Queer Literature and Theory? do u like lesbians? are u curious about lesbian sexuality in pornography? do u need a good sassy laugh?

look no further than right under this cut!!!

Content Warning: This essay contains sensitive content discussing sexually explicit material.

Tribadism: Lesbian Bump and Grinding. (Definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary)

“Hey, Kylee, how do lesbians have sex?” I pause for a moment, trying desperately not to roll my eyes. With a deadpan expression, I hold up two victory signs with my fingers and mash them together. “We scissor each other, of course.” I let a few seconds pass, taking in their look of bewilderment, before I crack a sardonic smile. I was joking of course. Every good lesbian knows that scissoring isn’t actually a real thing. Scissoring is what straight men think they see women doing in lesbian porn, opening their legs and criss-crossing them together in a cutting motion. Fake lesbians scissor. Sophisticated lesbians trib.

Of course, it took me a while to learn this. Like many other queer youth, I struggled to squeeze out any information in regard to lesbian sex out of the public sex education system. What choice did I have but to stumble across some poorly-made erotic content on the Internet? (Many choices, in fact, but I didn’t know that then.) Much of my knowledge about how two women have sex together without a man initially came from this exploration, shortsighted and misrepresented as it was. But now that I am a Real Adult Lesbian, I am interested in Real Adult Lesbian Sex. As such, I want to move beyond the question of what lesbian sex is and instead examine how pornographic sex represents the lesbian community. What better way to explore this idea than to return to my original Sapphic-inclined childhood investigation… porn on the Internet!

I was a naïve child, so of course I didn’t know that the lesbian porn I was viewing has a specific name: Ersatz porn. Ersatz porn is the term used to describe “girl-on-girl” pornography made by the straight man, for the straight man. And it is this porn that inflames the hearts of indignant female feminists everywhere, including my own. So imagine my surprise upon discovering that sometimes these fake lezzys fueled a fire in my loins as well. How was I supposed to reconcile this?

The 3 P’s: Penetration, Pleasure, and Pussy Shots

Everything I hate about lesbian porn made for men’s consumption comes to the tip of my tongue instantly- pun not intended. First, there are the fingernails. Every performer has an obscenely long, pointed, hot pink $40 set of acrylics. If you buy into the longstanding and dodgy myth of nail length indicating whether a woman is gay, then the 1-inch kitty claws on the screen in front of you are a dead giveaway: She isn’t a lesbian, and the girl she’s fucking isn’t enjoying it. I myself have a love-hate relationship with the nail clipper, often keeping my nails longer (a reasonable length, of course), but I can definitively say that the prospect of somebody scratching up my vulva with those talons, pretending it’s pleasurable… Needless to say, not my kind of thing. Unfortunately, these pricey manicures are least of our worries.

Ersatz porn has only one audience in mind: Men. And every straight man knows that women, lesbian or not, just want a dick. This isn’t about her pleasure, it’s about his. And by involving aggressive sucking and fucking with a strap-on, the male viewer can identify with the woman wearing it on screen. Her purpose is to simply act as a placeholder for a male body. For some odd reason, men still seem to think that women easily get off on penetration alone, so it’s not surprising that there is little clitoral stimulation in girl-on-girl porn. These poor guys don’t know any better. But us lesbians know the truth: The clit is the shit. Dildos and vibes all have their place in the bedroom for dykes, but the end-goal of it all is arousal and orgasm, not a penis. Unfortunately, the sole attention on penetration means that the best these pseudo-lesbians can get are pseudo-orgasms (not that many viewers would be able to tell the difference).

I was happy to discover that I am not the only one curious about other queer women’s take on “lesbian” porn; in an exploratory experiment performed by Todd Morrison and Dani Tallack, a small group of lesbian and bisexual women were interviewed after viewing scenes from both Ersatz porn and lesbian-created lesbian porn. They discussed what they saw the films representing in terms of lesbian identity. Viewers noted that the women having sex in the girl-on-girl scenes didn’t appear to enjoy it at all; there was no genuine emotion nor any interest in pleasing one another. One viewer remarked, “Yeah, this didn’t look very physical … She could have been reading the paper while the girl was banging her.” When one girl fingers or goes down on her partner, she rarely looks up to make eye contact. It’s all very detached, and the pained expressions on their faces accompanied by high pitched whines seem less like the result of a good fucking and more of a “God when the hell is this gonna be over” response.

The male gaze is all about those close-up shots of the genitalia, which is sort of confusing to me because as much as they want to see it, they don’t seem to worship our labia as much as their local dyke does. The objectification and exploitation of the female body is at work, a key instrument in the misogynistic toolbox designed specifically for mainstream heteronormative pornographic orgasms. Let’s pull out the hammer then, shall we? Our good friend penetration makes yet another appearance, often combining hardcore fucking with restraint practices—whether it’s steel handcuffs or a rough pair of hands clenched tightly around wrists. In and out, in and out, we see the pink dildo pounding into a pussy, and rarely does the camera stray from this scene to her face, essentially detaching female pleasure from the action of penetration. She is reduced to an object in which the only use is a hole to be fucked. The penetrator then forces the body below her to slobber and choke all over the dildo, hissing out abusive and demeaning remarks: “Your dirty little fucking pussy likes to take this big fucking cock, doesn’t it? Dirty little slut.”

Pornhub gratuitously offers up tons of content like this. Just look at “TSA Agents Engage in Lesbian BDSM! (Part 2).” (Don’t worry, I took the liberty of analyzing the scene to pull out its most ridiculous parts so you don’t have to.) Here we have a busty blonde TSA agent watching two naked women sixty-nine on a table with a bright light shining down on them… very reminiscent of a visit to the doctor’s office—minus the sex.[1] The blonde doesn’t engage in any physical contact while the other two are going at it and instead looks on with a forced smile of pleasure. Then we have the painfully slow zoom in on the JUICY WET PUSSY. There was also a gun involved, just in case you forgot this was porn made for men; nothing screams heterosexual masculinity like pointing an armed weapon at a woman’s head while you fuck her. And finally, how could we forget the infamous double dildo scene? It’s very important to show that every hole is filled by a phallus. If we zoom our male gaze out a bit to take in the whole body, I fear what we see is not much better than these money shots.

Being Butch and BDSM

Let me just lay this on the table now: I am a hyper-feminine queer woman. I am all too familiar with comments like, “But you’re so pretty?!” or “I never would have guessed…” when a straight person finds out that, yes, I am in fact queer as fuck. My love for glitter, killer eyeliner, and an overall hatred of pants puts me at the unwanted mercy of male attention. Even among the queer community, I feel the need to loudly announce my presence; I’m here, I’m queer, and you can shove your misguided compliments on my “straight” appearance right up your ass. One would think then that I enjoy the performers in mainstream porn, that I would laud them for actively combating femme invisibility. The problem is that a) because of this “representation” men think feminine-appearing lesbians are really just college chicks experimenting and having threesomes before running into the muscular arms of someone with a real penis and b) it simply doesn’t turn me on. Where are the butch ladies? Perhaps my biggest beef with Ersatz porn is that I feel it actually does a disservice to representing lesbians, even my fellow femmes. Representation is only good if it is appropriately and accurately diverse, and Ersatz porn is decidedly not. Sure, the hair color may change and maybe one of them has double Ds while the other has Cs, but other than that… Femmes aren’t flat and they’re certainly not fat.

Returning to the interviews, the participants noted that the bodies in Ersatz porn reflected society’s expectation for straight women, even if they were supposed to be lesbians. Even more unsettling, the performers look less like women and more like girls. Straight men seem to think that college freshmen have the time, energy, and money to maintain a perfectly hairless physique. To loosely quote the response of a previous professor of mine to a male partner who wanted her pubic hair shaved: “Why? Do you like to fuck little girls?” Proportionally, their appearances are reminiscent of the old school Barbie doll: slim waist, young face, and huge boobs. Women, lesbian or otherwise, come in all different shapes and sizes, but it seems that these straight male viewers have yet to catch on to that. Difficult enough is it to accept that two women can get sexual satisfaction without a man, they’ll be damned if she’s fat or has short cropped hair! The performers’ bodies appear to be the biggest difference between mainstream lesbian porn and porn produced and made specifically for queer women.

There is one specific butch body that comes to mind within the mainstream sphere, however: Lily Cade. Now, I have my own gripes with Cosmopolitan magazine. Their advice essentially boils down to “here’s why you’re single and sad, so let us show you how to be sexy in order to catch a man and fulfill your meaning in life!” Any articles that mention identities outside the normative are riddled with misinformation and operate only as a way to clickbait intersectional feminists into reading them. Needless to say, my initial reaction to their article titled “What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star” was dismissive at best. However, upon looking at the photo of the petite, jean jacket-wearing woman with choppy ginger hair and heavily lined eyes underneath the title, I knew I recognized her and couldn’t resist giving the article a read. (Like I said, fucking clickbait.) Cosmo names Lily Cade the exception to the rule that most girl-on-girl porn stars are actually straight. Before her career really kicked off, Cade described herself as a butchy lesbian with a little bit of baby fat. She struggled to convince directors to give her a chance because her appearance didn’t fit what mainstream porn was selling. Cade then lost 40 pounds, got a tan, and revamped her sexy lingerie in order to break through the business. So how does a real dyke feel producing Ersatz porn?

Cade admits that sparking chemistry on set with the straight women she performs with is one of the most difficult parts of her job. Interestingly enough, Cade criticizes girl-on-girl porn because it’s not meant for female viewers, that the overall the performance is “fake on every level.” Although she weaseled her way into the business by adjusting her look, she doesn’t necessarily think that she performs the way that everybody else in Ersatz porn does. Cade strives for authenticity; she makes an effort to connect with the women so that they can perform a real sex scene. Cade comments, “You don’t have to make love to me, you don’t have to even touch me. Just let me fuck you, and I’ll get you off, and you’ll like it.” But how is it that a lesbian performer can engage in the content she criticizes? Indeed, this is a point of contention for many people involved in queer porn. Lily Cade has come to acquire the label of “sell-out” among the queer underbelly of the mainstream. The changes Cade made that brought her success in the mainstream industry only resulted in derision in the realm of queer pornography. Already a sort of niche business, Indie queer pornographers could have used another butch body to represent and pleasure us lesbians out here. To turn your back on your community and play pretend for the straight team? Unthinkable. Worse yet is the fact that, of all venues, her outlet for public exposure was Cosmo magazine.

But who are we to say that Cade isn’t having authentic sex? After all, she is still a lesbian. And her attitude toward her work certainly seems gay to me; she maintains a high level of enthusiasm and a devotion to performing sex with her female colleagues. For the lesbians that do stumble across her work within the mainstream sphere, Cade is putting out content that is more accessible and relatable for them. Her apparent conformity does not mean she is suddenly no longer a queer woman. In response to criticisms, Cade says that she’s “chosen to create a look that is accessible to a more mainstream audience, but is undeniably a lesbian look… I don’t see myself as a sell-out; I see myself as subversive.” And to all of the straight male viewers of her work, Lily Cade has a message: “I’m showing them how a real dyke does it.”

When the butches do come out to play, they star disproportionately in the BDSM genre, especially in mainstream porn. So even though I want to see the bodies I’m attracted to, I’m caught in a catch-22 situation: Yes, the butches exist, but often only in circumstances involving extreme violence and submission. That isn’t to say that BDSM isn’t arousing. In fact, BDSM relies on domination, bondage, sadism, and masochism as a turn-on for viewers. What I’ve found, though, is that in mainstream porn BDSM is performed in a male heterosexual context rather than a lesbian context. Another Pornhub gem, “Strapon Women Who Fuck Better Than Men – 5,” exemplifies this concept. The video is a thirty-minute compilation of strap-on fucking with butch women doing most of the labor. The content and title combined appear to give us lesbians the recognition we deserve. However, it opens with a quote: “By far, one of the most popular fantasies women have is being the man for one night, literally. That’s right, I’m referring to a strap on penis.” In wearing this sex toy, a lesbian is suddenly transformed into a heterosexual man; it’s clear that the butch body still acts less as a queer woman and more as the placeholder for the male viewer.

Abuse and objectification of the female body also is heightened to suit the male gaze. Hair is pulled violently back as she extends one of her legs straight in the air so that our view of the dick is not obscured. It does not matter that these inorganic, acrobatic positions are not pleasurable nor conducive to sex; penetration and the role of the penis is the primary focus. There is little clitoral stimulation involved, the scenes are rough and more demanding than pleasurable, and the strap-on is glorified as the Sub is made to perform a blowjob for the Dom.[2] Finally, one of my personal favorite scenes—a long-haired femme being pounded against a weight rack, her tennis shoes still on. How did she get her clothes off without taking those bulky sneakers off? It doesn’t matter, these women are making gains at the gym, appealing to the Frat boy’s favorite pasttime. In the end, it seems you have two options to choose from when it comes to Ersatz porn: Watch a threesome between Sorority girls experimenting with lesbian sex for the first time through a hazing ritual, or watch a (still pretty feminine) butch relentlessly subjugate a dubiously consenting hyper-feminine girl and not even pretend to enjoy it.

Advertising and Authentic Arousal

Obviously, then, queer porn is much better at depicting authentic lesbian relationships than Ersatz porn… Or is it? My knee-jerk response would be to let out a loud, defiant YES! OF COURSE IT IS! It’s far easier to find what you are into when perusing the realm of queer porn—even if getting access to it is much more difficult in the first place. Unlike mainstream lesbian porn, which you can find in abundance uploaded on sites like Pornhub or xHamster, queer-produced porn often does not find its way out beyond access to those who pay for it. But when you do find it, you’ve hit the Sapphic jackpot. Performers vary from the familiar femmes to chubby dykes, from chapsticks to stone butches and trans women. The scenes are often more believable because of the bodies in them; they are diverse and range in size, echoing many a lady-lover’s desire to appreciate all parts of all women. The women in Morrison’s study noted that the performers were often much older, “not like they had pubic hair a week ago,” and that “they had marks on their bodies, like stretch marks and stuff. They weren’t perfect.” Not only do the bodies reflect a diverse array of lesbians in terms of style and age, they are also more realistic because of their “imperfections.” These are the same flaws that are quickly airbrushed and implanted away in the mainstream sphere. However, nail length still seemed to be an issue, and what the women lacked in a perfect figure they made up for with the heavy use of makeup, accessories, and perfect hairdos. It seems that no matter who it’s for, pornography still has a certain aesthetic of ideal beauty to maintain.[3]

Bodies aside, what about content? When a butch straps on a dildo and fucks her hot femme girlfriend, are the underlying themes really so different from Ersatz porn? Even in queer porn, it appears that the strict gender binary has its place. Unfortunately, no matter how exclusive the lesbian club may be, societal expectations of gender roles and expression still exert themselves full force on our bodies. Yet somehow, as queer women, we proclaim that this is still what real lesbian sex is. Whether or not it resembles heterosexual sex is not the point or purpose; the fact of the matter is that these are queer bodies performing queer sex. Theoretically, it does not rely on misogyny the way that porn for heterosexual men does. The performers engage in a subversive and empowering scene where they reclaim their right to their bodies and their sex lives. They are performing with their fellow lesbians in mind, not acting for a male gaze.

When examining how porn produced by lesbian women is advertised for consumers, one thing becomes very clear: We want real sex. In order to draw in their demographic, many queer pornography sites capitalize on the idea of authenticity. A few catchphrases used by CyberDyke.net include: “We depict the sex the way people really have it.” “real fantasies / real orgasms / real lust / real butches / real bodies / real sex.” Well fuck, the site has me sold! I would take CyberDyke’s “porn aimed at real women and lesbians” over Lesbian Cheerleader Squad 2 any day. How do I know that those lesbians are fake? Well, I don’t, really, but I’ve never seen porn aimed at straight men claim that the women are Real Lesbians. Mainstream pornography doesn’t need to affirm the sexualities of their performers because men don’t really care about authentic representation. A title with “TWO HOT WOMEN” in it is just enough and the Kleenex are out. Women wouldn’t be watching their porn, anyways, so what does it matter? Perhaps queer porn is not showing us reality, but rather performing “a fantasy of authenticity.” Pornography is essentially a visual fantasy, and we lesbians dream about a world in which our identities are valid, every woman loves us back, and men aren’t around to fuck it up and exploit our desires. It is that illusion of authenticity which gives queer lesbian porn its allure.

It may come as a surprise to learn that not all lesbians necessarily agree that queer porn is the better porn. Authenticity, it seems, has to do with much more than just a body. In a different set of interviews conducted by Valerie Webber, non-heterosexual women who performed lesbian porn made for men were asked to discuss how their performance related to their sexual orientation. It turns out that many did not believe that they were performing “fake” sex, rather simply adjusting their actions to capture and create what the audience needed. Performing with a woman who was also lesbian-identified did not immediately make the scene the performer’s real sex life, and most agreed that the line between their work and authentic sex was not so clearly defined.

Despite the many quarrels we have with Ersatz porn, lesbian-created lesbian pornography cannot escape our critical eye either. Emotional intimacy makes sex appear authentic; when both women are clearly into each other (not giving weird sultry looks in the male viewer’s camera’s direction), I’m much more likely to be aroused. But intimacy quickly strays into mushy romance in lesbian-created porn. The stereotype that women are more sensual and emotive and thus lesbian relationships would maximize on romantic, loving sexual activity is a key point of criticism in queer porn. I, for one, resent the assumption that any sex I have will be vanilla by default. Some viewers admitted to preferring scenes from Ersatz porn; one remarked that the lesbian-created scene “was completely… boring in every way. The music was boring, the women were boring, the scene was boring, the colors were boring, the film was boring, the camera stayed stationary for Christ’s sake. It was boring.”[4] Another admitted, “Um, you guys are going to think I’m a bad lesbian, but I really like the penetration. It’s hot.” Bad Lesbian Club rejoice! Her guilt echoed my own anxiety at my arousal by certain girl-on-girl porn scenes. But clearly not every dyke is into the same thing, and even content produced by queer creators can fall prey to harmful stereotypes.

Not all lesbian porn is quite so corny, of course. Vanilla can be a pleasant no doubt, but as one viewer noted, “Let’s get it really raunchy sometime.” When some of us come out of the closet, we bring along some of our more hardcore desires—whips, sturdy ropes, ball gags, and leather collars. BDSM has long played a role in the lesbian community, and its prominence in lesbian-created pornography adds to the supposed authenticity of the performance. However, as Julie Levin Russo points out in her article, “’The Real Thing’: Reframing Queer Pornography for Virtual Spaces,” it is the “mobilization of recognizable markers of dyke subculture (e.g. butch bodies, tattoos and piercings, fetish attire)” that feed into stereotypes about what being a lesbian is really like. Needless to say, not all queer women participate in or identify with these things. Although butch bodies help clue viewers into what porn is made for them, their representation is still almost exclusively present in the realm of BDSM. Themes of dominance are associated with masculinity, thus reflected in butch-heavy scenes of punishment and orgasm denial. After assessing my pleasure at certain penetration scenes in girl-on-girl porn, now I must question why I can so easily accept porn as made for my fellow lesbians through the mere presence of a butch body. It may seem more authentic to me, but for other queer women, perhaps the message they’re receiving is that certain characteristics—both in your relationship and your physical appearance—must be present in order to be real lesbian.

Reaching the Climax

Some would say that the question of authenticity is irrelevant because the purpose of pornography is to reflect viewers’ fantasies. How necessary is it to be real lesbians having sex? Why does it matter if most people can’t do the splits while they’re being eaten out? But without giving genuine thought to the performers and scenes you show, you run the risk of spreading misinformation about lesbians. Our existence cannot be denied, and failing to consider the impact of homogeneity in porn does a disservice to our very real livelihoods. The ruling is not decisive among women, queer or otherwise, as to which type of pornography is better or worse. My idea of what good porn is does not always match the reality of many queer women in the world; everybody has a different dynamic within their relationship, after all. Ultimately, though, there are definitely some things I could live without. (I’m glaring back at you, male gaze.)

[1] Doctor settings are actually quite a common scene in mainstream porn; straight men seem to have this idea that going to the gynecologist is hot. Because having my OBGYN shove a speculum up my vaginal canal is totally a turn-on, right?

[2] I’m still not sure how either party would get any personal pleasure out of choking on a silicone cock… but then again, butches are really just women who want to be men, remember?

[3] It’s not like we sweat during sex or accidentally choke on our girlfriend’s perfectly curled hair or anything.

[4] A 70-minute sex film set to classical music with zero dialogue wouldn’t be particular titillating for me, either.

Works Cited

Morrison, Todd G. and Dani Tallack. “Lesbian and Bisexual Women’s Interpretations of Lesbian and Ersatz Lesbian Pornography.” Sexuality & Culture, vol. 9, no. 2, Spring2005, pp. 3-30.

Russo, Julie Levin. “‘The Real Thing’: Reframing Queer Pornography for Virtual Spaces.” In Jacobs, Katrien & Janssen, Marije & Pasquinelli, Matteo. “C’Lick Me: A Netporn Studies Reader.” Jan. 2007.

“Strapon Women Who Fuck Better Than Men – 5.” Pornhub, 2016, https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph577e65b319a02.

“TSA Agents Engage in Lesbian BDSM! (Part 2).” Pornhub, October 2017, https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59ccece3078ca.

Webber, Valerie. “Shades of Gay: Performance of Girl-On-Girl Pornography and Mobile Authenticities.” Sexualities, vol. 16, no. 1/2, Jan. 2013, pp. 217-235.

Wischhover, Cheryl. “What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star.” Cosmopolitan. 2 Mar. 2016.

[dykedykegooses]

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

:)

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W  C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

no

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

[eevachu]

Do. Them. All.

oh! um- well… I GUESS HERE WE GO. LONG POST IS LONG:

1. what is your sexuality? 

2. what gender do you identify as? 

Cis lady

3. how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? 

It has been a long journey, that started with me thinking I was bisexual (but picky!) in highschool to me thinking I was pansexual (but homoromantic!) in college to me watching the “Battle of Times Square” scene in Ghostbusters last year and realizing I will never actually be attracted to a man when I have seen the one true light of lesbianism.

Gender-wise, I did some soul-searching in college when a lot of my friends finally felt safe enough to transition, and other than an unhealthy obsession with beard-growing, I’m good out here as a chick. 👌✨

4. do you have any preferences? 

Girls who look like they could kill me with their bare hands, if they wanted to, but really just want to gently comb their fingers through my hair.

5. share a positive memory about coming out! 

I don’t really have any. I don’t really “come out” to straight people anymore because the one time I did, the friend I told immediately asked if I was attracted to/going to hit on her.

6. how do you feel about pride month? 

We should all be given the whole month off paid and trans/genderqueer/NB people should get an additional $1000 cash. 

(I like it.)

7. do you participate in pride related events? any other events? 

I get a cold or something happens every June where I don’t feel up to going to Pride, but like HOPEFULLY THIS YEAR? (Baby’s first Pride at 25 is gonna be WEIRD. Someone hold my hand.)💦

8. how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media? 

I WANT MORE. I WANT THEM ALL. EVERYONE IS GAY.

9. do you feel pride in who you are? 

Yeah, I really like who I am and I’m proud of what I had to go through to get here. I like that things feel right in my life, for once.

10. who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? 

Looking back, Karolina Dean and Xavin from Runaways were some of the first gays to really have an impact on my life. When Xavin starts IDing as female it like… struck a chord with me about their relationship. I was just like, “yeah that feels right.”

Hannah Hart was a BIG DEAL for me and meeting her was so nice. It’s so great to see an openly lesbian woman being real and kind and succeeding. Watching her evolve and grow over time has been amazing. Also, that bod now, like omg Harto-san, you have become your true self and that self is making me BLUSH.

Rebecca Sugar is weirdly important to me, being in the animation industry, myself. Like… it’s so good, seeing her make a show about girls loving other girls after BEING PERSONALLY TOLD that gay content was inappropriate for children while I was in school. Noelle Stevenson and the crew on Lumberjanes are similar, because you get told you can’t make queer content for kids by the old guard. That it won’t sell, that it CAN’T sell in certain markets and that kids won’t get it. All I can think of is that HAD I known at 7 that girls can like girls maybe I would’ve asked Emma out after class and my life would be different. I don’t want that to keep happening to little girls and I’m so glad that people like Rebecca and Noelle exist.

@yamino​ and @summerlightning​ are like… life goals and wife goals. I’ve been following them for years and sometimes I just think how I’d want like EXACTLY their lives. Make gay webcomics with my pretty wife. That’s all I want to do. (Hey, read their comic @sisterclaire​, it’s gay af, you’ll love it.)

Hayley Kiyoko is a biracial sapphic queen and I love her and she is so nice and genuine and she gives GREAT HUGS. She sings songs about girls who like girls and they’re GOOD SONGS. Not just like campy gender-ambiguous low-budget stuff. She makes… god, her music videos. And I have met this small human and been to her concerts and the feeling of love and safety around that night was LIFE ALTERING.

(Also, can we talk about how that’s the flag I gave her hanging up on stage behind her and how much I love her and still cry about that? See question #26 for that story.)

Kate McKinnon, see #3 for the latest in Eevachu self-discoveries. She’s just… SHE’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. She’s famous and she’s weird and she’s out there playing big roles as an openly lesbian woman. She got me through 2016, which was honestly, THE FUCKING WORST. And she helped me accept that I can be a lesbian and still succeed.

BASICALLY, I WANNA SEE ALL THE SAPPHIC WOMEN SUCCEED, SO THAT I THINK I CAN SUCCEED AND FEEL SAFE DOING SO. REPRESENTATION MATTERS.

12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? 

Your parents are just people and one day, you’ll be better than them. You are strong, and you will find the people you are meant to be your people. You’re going to evolve and change throughout your whole life. Don’t be all tumblr witchhunt-y; people make mistakes and grow. Adults barely have any idea what they’re doing, we’ve just done it more.

13. have you come out to friends and family? 

Like occasionally? I only formally “come out” to other gays, so that we may huddle together like penguins in a storm of heternormativity.

14. how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? 

I don’t like that it’s made to seem like such a huge deal and that it’s a one time thing. Like… it’s such a pain and you have to do it over and over again and then all the straight people in the room get WEIRD ABOUT IT and you’re now the outsider and the feeling fucking SUCKS. I just don’t like that it’s a thing. The actual term is fine for what it is, since I don’t have a solutions otherwise.

15. do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? 

Yeah, and it sucks that people feel unsafe enough that they have to be in one.

16. any tips on coming out? 

I am literally the worst person to ask about this because I just like… don’t. lol I let people figure it out. Non-queers love testing out their “gaydar.”

17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? 

Lesbians for the male gaze. HEY BUDDY, LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE POINT OF LESBIANISM. NO BOYS ALLOWED.

18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? 

When queer people get to play queer characters and make their own queer stories and I get to sit there and cry because it’s so GENUINE AND GOOD.

19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? 

Well, my animation teachers would low key be like that won’t sell (see that thing I said about Rebecca Sugar in #10). But I had a gay/straight alliance in highschool, so it was fine.

20. do you practice safe sex with the same gender? 

At this point, I would probably practice any sex with the same gender. (But yes, please.)

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender? 

I don’t really like traditional butch/femme role types and I’m not into really masculine ladies. I like girls who are flexible with their gender expression like I am.

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender? 

I am a sucker for a strong independent femme in heels that would love to smash the patriarchy and then smash me.

23. how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? 

I wish there were good ones and that I had time to find them or had a senior-qualified gay to tell me where they are in Toronto. WHERE ARE THEY???

25. how does you country view the lgbtq community? 

Pictured: Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister at a pride parade.

On the surface, it’s pretty good. We also have to be careful because there are just some dirtbag conservatives waiting for us to get complacent and take away our rights. Currently, there’s a huge fucking thing about a trans right bill, so I’ve gotten to see which of my family member’s are absolute scum.

They’re here, they hate queers, but they’re usually drunk uncles.

26. favorite lgbtq actor/actress?

Hi, yes, hello, haaaaave you met Flat Kate? (see question #10)

Also, Hayley Kiyoko, because like…

…BIG GAY FLAG STORY TIME. So I went to her concert in Toronto this spring and I had everyone outside the venue that I could leave messages on it for her. All of the messages were so funny and heartfelt and there were so many baby gays at the concert and my old gay heart grew 3 sizes that day because they were there with friends and their parents and I was just SO HAPPY AND PROUD.

Then I meet Hayley because bitch splurged on VIP tickets. She gives the best hugs, and she took the time with fans and she was so genuinely happy to be there. We had a great talk and I was just thanking her for being her and doing what she do. And if you know me, you know how important it is that there’s biracial representation and she like got that. And then I give her the flag, which I had drawn on because I’M THAT KID and she’s saying how she’s gonna treasure it and read all of them and I’m like dying and trying not to openly WEEP.

Then I get into the concert which is ALL SAPPHICS, so I’m like the most comfortable that I have ever been in my entire life. Then the sound guys are setting up and they PULL OUT MY FLAG. Now, everyone knew me from when I had gotten people to write messages on the BIG GAY FLAG (”COME SIGN MY BIG GAY FLAG” is what I had been screaming), so when this flag comes out all the girls around me are like, “Girl, that’s your big gay flag.” And then I ASCENDED TO THE ASTRAL PLANE AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 

27. any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news? 

Don’t fucking make it about you. You aren’t the centre of the goddamn universe. No, you aren’t hearing about “gay news” too much for how many of us there are.

29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender?

I’m cagey about it. It always feels so uncomfortable when it’s non-queer people asking. Queer people asking is fine and we can have a good dialogue usually, but cishet people treat me like I’m a novelty and it’s gross sometimes.

Like… dyke is tired, I don’t have time to give you the Introduction to LGBTQ+ class.

[flarebossmalva]

okay i’m gonna try and decipher that last post? i used to vaguely follow mogai stuff because of being involved in the ~*~aroace community~*~ (till i realized their politics sucked and they didn’t actually care about aromantics at all) so i might know some of these. then again i might not

queer. considering that any LGBT person can reclaim that word that’s really all-encompassing. you might as well have said “this day is for the entire community but we will call you slurs” actually when i put it that way that’s an awful community event

hey what the FUCK does "transexpressive” mean is that like a fancy way of saying gender nonconforming or what the hell fresh nonsense is this

i’ve heard lithsexual/lithromantic used to mean “likes giving but not receiving” which afaik is just being stone butch and a separate word was not required. or idk just tell your partner about that instead of informing the public it’s kinda unnecessary information for the rest of us. akoi- i don’t know anything about

aspec, which i guess would refer to any ace &/or aro person. pretty broad considering how many weirdly specific identities this person thought needed to be included

dunno what “pomo” means in a sexual/romantic context but my first thought was postmodern

sure neutrois people are transgender and therefore LGBT but idk that they need their own day, i mean, a lot of nonbinary identities (including some common ones) aren’t on here at all so it seems a bit random to include this one

no idea what either of these are

“let’s give women who love women, men who love men, and nonbinary people who love nonbinary people a single day out of the month, to share, but demisexuals need like a week to themselves”

i’ve seen this word once before and i think it just means multiple gender attracted but every time i read it i think of an alien with like two heads or something

no idea but i hope it’s to do with condiments

culture exclusive genders all get one day to share because we wouldn’t want to seem racist by not acknowledging transgender people of color but we also aren’t dedicated enough to uplifting those folks to support their specific identities. anyway 21 days of the month are going to be dedicated to genders that a white kid made up yesterday

never heard of these either

i used to ID as a type of genderflux because i liked the word and the definition but i ended up ditching it because no one knew what it meant and i’d always end up explaining by calling myself genderfluid. oh, and genderfluid isn’t on here, spoilers i guess

“heteroflexible” i am ascending... i can’t believe “internalized homophobia” is a valid orientation in mogai land but here we are. nice of them to include homoflexible too in case you’re bisexual but don’t like calling yourself bisexual for some reason

i guess including LGBT subcultures isn’t a totally bad idea but it’s kind of unnecessary as everyone who’s part of one of those subcultures would already have a day. oh wait there’s not a day for being lesbian... or gay... or bi... or trans... hrm... who is this pride month for again

never heard either of these terms but assuming that these are gender descriptors i’m guessing “midbinary” means essentially the same thing as “androgyne” and “abinary” is just... nonbinary... or something

i guess this would cover bigender, trigender, etc., but i’ve never heard anyone say “multigender” before

assuming this one means your gender is not of this earth and honestly i think that’s #valid and also a big mood

listen... as a mentally ill trans person i understand that one’s perception of one’s gender can have a lot to do with mental health but at the same time if anyone told me they were anxiousgender i would probably laugh

queerplatonic isn’t an identity it’s a relationship descriptor

i thought this was a pokemon for a solid minute then i realized i was thinking of altaria

thought these were just less gendered alternatives to diamoric/sapphic/achillean tbh

“cissexism is queer i swear”

no fucking idea what this means but the -sex suffix makes me think it has to do with bio sex which is... not an identity it’s just how your body is, like, i’d be intersex regardless of whether i said i was or no

i do know this one. it’s an nb identity that’s essentially “i do have a gender but it’s not male or female or a mix of the two”

this sounds like something you get diagnosed with and it’s terminal

this sounds like the med they prescribe you after diagnosing you with the above

??? astrology ??? 

OHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD

reverse of lith-, means likes receiving but not giving, not really an orientation so much as a relationship preference

of course they would end with aplatonic of course they would why not

in conclusion i’ve just lost ten years off my life and also as a gay transgender intersex aromantic i genuinely have no idea what days i’m allowed to celebrate on under this calendar. good thing i plan to die immediately now that i’ve finished reading this awful, awful post

[xeemaee]

ITS THEM ITS BUTCH LABRU

I see your fem wlw labru and raise you butch wlw labru (they look nearly the exact same as canon but they both use she/they and have tits)

Look at these two, believe in your heart they are butches looking at each other, go insane with me