#I am a nervous wreck today - first day back to the office

[n7viper]

I have spent too much brain power today on having an existential crisis about writing (again). partially that I'm exhausting a topic no one cares to discuss/a topic that has been exhausted and beaten to death (perhaps, but I don't mind when other people do that thing). also that I'm trying to allow myself to write small things with the micro prompts but then it's hard to convey what I want in few words. and then of course that I don't have the skill to convey what I want

[idleoblivion]

"Yes, Professor" Crewel x GN Reader

Synopsis: The allowance Crowley gives you just isn’t enough. Maybe you can convince your alchemy professor to assist you somehow…

Part 2 Part 3

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: Literally the first smut I've ever written so I'm so nervous to post this, I don't know what possessed me to write this but here we are lol.

Warnings: Teacher/student relationship, gn reader, shy/nervous reader, semi-public sex, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, unprotected sex, overuse of the word 'puppy'

You knock on the door to his office three times and hear shuffling for a moment on the other side. 

“Come in.”

You open it and take a few steps in before spotting him at his desk. Divus Crewel, your alchemy professor, as he sorts through a stack of what you assume are the lab reports you turned in earlier that day. He stops what he’s doing and motions you to a chair in front of his desk. 

“You said you wanted to speak to me, yes? I hope you weren’t lying about it being important.”

You swallowed and tried to straighten your posture as you sat down. “No, I wasn’t. Thank you for meeting with me.”

He looks you over and you feel your resolve weakening. Maybe this really wasn’t a good idea after all. 

Crewel meets your eyes expectantly. “Well, what is it then?”

You can barely continue to make eye contact with how tight your chest feels with anxiety. You play with your hands anxiously in your lap. After a few seconds of silence, he continues. 

“I don’t have all evening, pup. Tell me what you’re here for, quickly.” His tone became more sharp, prompting you to nervously begin. 

“So you know, about my…. um, living situation and uh, money… I, uh, I don’t really have a lot and m-my clothes and uniform are a wreck, and…. and my friends talk about seeing movies and going out but I-“

“Puppy,” he interrupts you, “I am aware of your circumstances. However, I am also aware that the headmaster does supply you a small allowance for food and clothes, even if they may be….” He stops himself from finishing his sentence as he looks at your uniform on you. “Never mind. I won’t lie and say I feel no sympathy for you, but if you’re about to ask me to start funding you as well, the answer is no. I could not allow myself to freely spoil every puppy who is less fortunate in my class.”

“I…well, I-“ you stutter, but will yourself to continue, “I didn’t say it would be for free.” The last part barely comes out as a whisper, but the look on his face tells you he heard it well. You shift in your seat at his change in expression. 

“Oh? Well, it still wouldn’t be considered appropriate of me to take bribes or favors from students, but…” he trails off for a moment, and you notice an increasing intensity in his gaze, “I suppose I can hear you out.”

If you were anxious before, you were almost panicky now. You hadn’t expected to actually get this far, for him to actually consider your offer and not just scold or report you, but you couldn’t deny the building excitement inside you either. 

“If… if you help me, I’ll, um… well, uh, what would you want me to do?” Struggling to find the confidence yourself, you try to make him spell it out, but he must realize what you’re doing as his smirk only grows. 

“I think you had something in mind to offer me, puppy, and if you really want my help you’re going to have to say it.” He stands up and removes his oversized fur coat and lays it on his chair behind him. “That’s an order, from your master. Tell me what you’ll do for me.”

He leans over his desk, looking at you smugly. Part of you wonders if he knew this is where your conversation would head, but you quickly disperse that thought and stand up yourself. 

“…Anything. Anything you want, I’ll do it.” You hesitantly step towards his desk and lean in. 

He laughs lightly under his breath, then looks back at you. 

“We’re just going in circles, aren’t we? Alright, puppy, I’ll be generous today and help you. Come here.”

You walk around the desk to stand in front of him directly. His gloved hand comes up to your face and holds your jaw gently. He leans down some, and speaks to you in a low voice. 

“You know, there’s that Al-Asim boy and Kingscholar, among others, who have plenty of wealth to throw around at this school. So, what brought you to my office and not their dorms, puppy? If you can say that, I’ll give you a reward.”

His hand on your face forces you to keep looking at him. You take one more deep breath before quietly answering. 

“I…I want you. Not them. You.”

He smiles at that and gives you a quick peck on the forehead. “Good puppy. Now sit on my desk.”

You lift yourself onto his desk and he walks forward, caging you in with his arms. He leans down and kisses you gently at first. Just his lips on yours has your body burning up as you wrap your arms around him. You let him slip his tongue in and he groans into your heated kiss. 

“You know,” he pauses and takes a step back, “I think I’ve still let you get your way too easily.” He pulls his desk chair back up and sits down while removing his gloves. “So, be a good puppy and get rid of these.” He grabs and tugs on the pants of your uniform. 

You feel your face get even hotter but comply, taking them off with your underwear and tossing them to the floor. You instinctively try and keep your legs shut, but he tsks at you and pries them open. 

He bites his lip as he looks at you, then meets your eyes with a predatory look. “Touch yourself for me.” 

You begin slowly, nervous and self-conscious under his stare, but the bulge straining against his pants tells you you have no reason to be. You try to look away from him but he calls your attention back immediately. 

“Eyes on me. That’s an order.”

You hesitantly obey and fix your gaze back on him. He undoes his belt and frees his cock from his pants. Your hands slow as you watch him intently. 

“I didn’t tell you to stop, puppy. Keep going.”

You’re both touching yourselves now, his eyes following every desperate movement of your fingers as you get more and more aroused. Watching him stroke himself to the sight of you adds to your embarrassment and pleasure. You bite your lip to stifle your voice. 

“Puppy, you want to me to fuck you?”

You’re ashamed of the whimper you let you out when he says it, but nod vigorously anyway. 

“Say it.”

“Yes professor, please fuck me.”

“Stop then. Hold your legs open for me.”

You obey and he walks back over to you. He kisses you again, deep and passionate while he undoes the tie of your uniform and opens your shirt. He gently pulls it off of you before his hands come up to grope your chest. 

He pulls your hips closer to the edge, and you can feel him start teasing you with the head of his cock. You bury your face in his shoulder as he starts inching himself into you. You moan feeling yourself stretch for him. He grunted as he bottomed out in you, then held still for a moment. 

He pulls you back away from his shoulder to look at you, and smirks at your lustful, blissed out face. He gives you no further warning before he starts moving, feeling you clutch onto him as he thrusts. 

You can no longer stop yourself from moaning loudly, with how deep he feels inside you and him nipping at your neck while his hips never slow or stop, he fucks you steady and hard. 

“Look at you, getting so loud. Is it good, puppy? You like it?”

“Ah- yes, yes professor, so good I-“

You nearly squeal as a particular thrust leaves you reeling, and he moans as he feels you tighten around him. He sped up, fucking you faster and harder until you felt tears welling up in your eyes. 

“Crying for me, puppy?” He smiled and licked a tear that had fallen down your cheek. The pressure building inside you was getting to be too much. 

“Professor, p-professor I’m-“ you gasped as he bit you on the shoulder and grabbed your hips roughly.

“Cum for me, puppy. You can do it, be good for me.”

With a wail, your orgasm hit you hard, making you keel over and grab onto Crewel for support. Your body was on fire and he didn’t stop for a moment, he just kept holding your hips with a tight grip you while he pounded into you harshly. He cursed under his breath, praising you in your ear as he chased his own release.

“Fuck puppy I’m close, take it, fuck-“

He finally releases and you feel his cock twitch as he cums inside you. The warm feeling has you softly moan again, despite how absolutely exhausted your body was. 

You both took a few moments to finish coming down from your highs. He makes you look at him again, and smirks at how fucked out you look. 

“So, we’ll get you some new clothes this weekend, puppy? That sound good?”

You tiredly nod, and he kisses you again.

[finniestoncrane]

Hello! I hope you're having a wonderful day. I've never made a request before, so I really hope that I'm doing it correctly! I was wondering if you could do the Riddler from Gotham and a female reader. A Fluffy Romance one where Ed wants to confess his feelings for the reader, but is a nervous wreck about it because he's worried that she won't return his feelings? I would absolutely love it if you could do this, I love your writing, and thank you for reading my request!

Gotham!Riddler x Fem!Reader, word count: 1k eeeeeee i love shy and nervous eddie!! he is my sweetest softest baby and i am so happy to indulge in this 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: fluff, confessing feelings, two nervous nuggets trying to kiss

Outside of your office door, Ed was practicing his speech. He hadn't thought of it as such, but when he'd asked Lee to look over it, she had suggested it was perhaps a little wordy. And of course, in response, he had scowled, been a little annoyed, and walked off with a quiet 'thank you'. Surely everything he wanted to say to you couldn't be condensed. Surely the fact that he was barely able to silently contain his feelings for you was enough of an indication that it was pointless to even try to be succinct.

Everything had to be perfect. Entertaining, so you knew he was fun. Engaging, so you didn't tune out before the very important bits. Heartfelt, so you could tell he was being genuine and sincere.

All he wanted was a chance. To tell you how much he admired you, how beautiful and capable he thought you were, and to have you agree to let him prove that he was good enough for you, or at the very least, better than any of the other men around the GCPD.

So why was it taking so long for him to knock on your door?

He'd been standing there for almost twenty minutes, wringing his hands, practicing his deep breathing exercises, fiddling with his glasses, anything but raising his hand to the frosted glass panel and actually talking to you.

It was nerves. That was the answer to the question. An obvious answer, too. Anyone could see it by looking at him. His usually tidy hair was dishevelled, his shirt untucked from his brown, corduroy pants, hands trembling, glasses smudged, his nails frayed and chewed to the point where they hurt. His cheeks were bright red, and his forehead was sweating. These were all classic symptoms, and he knew them well. But they would only get worse the longer he stood out there, worrying and overthinking.

Ed raised his hand, reaching it forward to rap the knuckles against the door, when it suddenly burst open. And there you were, about to walk out, bumping into him and then stumbling backwards with an apology.

"Ed! I'm so sorry, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, it's ok. I can see that you're busy, so I'll just-"

"Actually, it's good timing. I was hoping to come and see you. Do you have a minute?"

"Of course! I have plenty of time for you."

You smiled, your own nerves soothed by his kindness. If only you'd had him fifteen minutes ago when you had to put your lunch in the trash, unable to eat because of the butterflies in your stomach. If only you could just find it in you to tell Ed how you felt about him, instead of living in an awkward limbo. But you had resolved to end that today, and now, he was right there in front of you. Never a better time.

"Do you think... could you come into my office? I'd rather this was a private discussion."

"Oh... yes! I actually... if we have time afterwards, and it's appropriate, I have something I'd like to discuss with you, too. Privately."

He had walked over to your desk, standing awkwardly, rocking on the heels of his feet with his hands behind his back. When you had closed the door, you felt the tension, knowing you were alone with him, committed to telling him. But you couldn't bring yourself to do it, so you offered him the floor first.

"In that case, please feel free to tell me what you wanted to talk about. My thing... it can wait, it's not... it's not important."

Ed looked stunned, shocked into a silent stupor as he wondered what he might do next. You'd given him the permission to go ahead and say what he had come there to say, but despite his high intellect, and the hours of practice, he suddenly found himself unable to speak, or to at least form sentences that actually made any sense.

"I uh... well... I-I came to see if, or say, rather... that you, well, I really... I-if I... could perhaps... The thing is... You're a v-very special p-person... to me... to the GCPD, to everyone! And... And I wondered if you wanted... if you w-would ever want... with, uh... Just..."

He licked his lips nervously, wetting them as he tried to form more words. You waited patiently, smiling softly as you realised that Ed might just be there for the exact same reason you were. It was hard not to interrupt him, but you wanted to see if you were right, and you wanted to puthim out of his misery as he fumbled over his words and began sweating, glasses steaming up and clouding his vision.

"... because I really d-do think you're... beautiful... is that inappropriate? I, uh, apologise if it is b-but I just had to ask if... uh... i-if... if-"

"Would you like to go on a date with me, Ed?"

Stopped in his tracks, Ed's eyes widened and his lips parted in a small gasp of surprise and relief.

"Of course!"

He cleared his throat, trying to settle his voice back to its regular register.

"Ahem... Of course I would. Would you?"

Leaning in to him, you pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, lingering just a moment longer than was expected before you pulled back.

"Absolutely. Shall we say tonight, after work?"

"Uh... yes. Yes!"

You smiled, turning to go back to your desk.

"W-wait, don't you... didn't you need something from me?"

"Oh! I've got it now, thanks."

He nodded, flustered, a big grin pushing his cheeks into his eyes as he turned to leave your office, abstaining from giggling and punching the air until he was sure you wouldn't be able to catch him celebrating.

[milaisreading]

Caught in the middle

Pairing:

Nagi Seishiro x Reader x Reo Mikage

Warnings ⚠️: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open. This is my first time writing anything poly related.

A.N: due to popular demand (5 people asked) I am in the process of making the Kaiser x Reader x Ness version of this.

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"Are you alright, (Y/n)? You have been quite out of it?" Anri asked as they both left Ego's office to do their daily tasks. The girl has been acting weird for a few days, Anri noted. (Y/n) would forget where she had put some documents, accidentally tripped multiple times a day or would zone out. What was weird to the woman was her reluctance to help the team out, which was the basic requirement for her job. Anri was worried and brought it up with Ego, but the man dismissed, unsure what it was either. But today she will find out what it was about.

(Y/n)'s whole demeanor changed and she turned into a nervous wreck as she noticed the way Anri was looking at her.

"W-what do you mean? Everything is fine! Nothing to worry about here." The girl laughed nervously and Anri shook her head, not believing a word (Y/n) was saying.

"You have been acting weird the whole week, tell me what the issue is."

"Nothing is the issue-"

"If you don't tell me, Blue Lock might need a new manager soon." Anri said. She didn't really mean those words, but it was the only way she could get a word out of (Y/n). The bait seemed to work on the girl, as she looked around the hallway for a moment and sighed, admitting her defeat.

"It's just... I have some issues."

"Is the team the issue?"

"No, no it's me. I... I did something I shouldn't have done." (Y/n) quickly answered back, worrying the woman.

"And what did you do?"

"I... promise you won't tell anyone?" (Y/n) asked in hesitation.

"Of course I won't, now what is it?" Anri asked as (Y/n) took a deep breath and spoke up.

"I think... I might have fallen in love... with someone from the team." (Y/n) said as Anri took a moment to process her words.

"Ahh! So that's why you were so hesitant to see them alone. This is adorable, (Y/n)! Who is it?" The woman asked in delight as the girl moved a little closer.

"That's the issue, it's not really one person... more like two..." (Y/n) admitted, embarrassed by the whole situation.

"Two? Who?" The woman asked, intrigued by now more than ever. (Y/n) felt her face heat up more and she motioned for Anri to move closer. Anri felt her eyes widen as she heard the names and started giggling.

"Them?! Oh my God, I need to see how this will end! When do you plan on confessing?"

"Never!" (Y/n) answered back, shocked that Anri would even ask her.

"Never? And what do you plan to do with your feelings?"

"Hide them. Bury them inside me and hope they fade away. Confessing would make it just awkward, especially when those two are so close."

"I don't think that's a smart idea, (Y/n)-"

"It's not! But it's better for everyone. Besides, their main goal is going to the World Cup and not their manager confessing to them. Let's just leave it at that."

Anri sighed as (Y/n)'s justification, but decided to keep quiet.

'It's not like it won't come out eventually... Knowing how obvious she is.'

While Anri and (Y/n) were talking, neither noticed Reo and Nagi hiding close by. They heard the whole conversation and were left baffled at (Y/n)'s confession.

'Our... My manager in love with two people from the team?! Who could that even be? We don't have many eye-catching guys, except for me that is.' Reo thought, trying to think of someone.

'Hm? I wonder if it's me, we are pretty close and she let's me sleep on her and play games during rests. It has to be me.' Nagi thought, blushing a little bit at the thought.

"She likes me?" The two said at the same time, then narrowed their eyes and glared at each other.

"What are you talking about, Reo? (Y/n) obviously loves me. Didn't you see the way she always wakes me up and makes sure I don't miss my meals." Nagi argued as Reo rolled his eyes.

"That's called taking care of a child, Nagi. What (Y/n) needs is a man who knows how to treat her well and take care of her. Which is me."

"Man? We are both the same age, calm down. I can relate to (Y/n) more and take her to fun places."

"And I can buy her anything she needs or wants and can make her laugh. Besides, she always compliments how well I adjust my moves against an opponent. Also, she really likes listening about all the places I have been to."

"And she loves listening to me talking about my video games and we have common shows we like. Besides, my scores always leave her speechless.... that wide-eyed expression always looks cute on her." Nagi sighed, his cheeks turning red. Reo nodded his head and smiled, remembering some things he liked about her too.

"I like it when she turns a little shy once the attention of the room is on her. And did you see her expression when she saw her favorite meal was for dinner?"

"Aha~ it was so cute."

The duo nodded their heads, both having a dreamy expression in their faces as they thought over (Y/n)'s confession.

"Do you think that she maybe likes someone completely else? She never said the names, at least we didn't hear them." Nagi suggested, making Reo gulp and shudder.

"Horrible, horrible thought. Well... I will take it upon myself and confess to her. Then we will see who she likes." Reo said, getting up from the ground.

"Bad idea, let me do the first step." Nagi said, trying to push his friend our of the way, but Reo glared at the taller and shook his head.

"No way are you doing it first."

"Get out of the way, Reo."

"Fuck off, no!"

The two argued for a while, but stopped once they heard Ego call them to join the training  session.

The whole day for (Y/n) was quite a hassle. Not only did Ego give her a lot more work than usually, but the team was acting off too. Well, not the whole team, just Reo and Nagi. They were at each other's throats the whole time. They would either make snarky comments towards each other, trying to beat the other's score on the field or just glare when someone else from the team would talk to her. It was really hard to work with them like this not only for (Y/n), but also for the rest of the team. Ego had scolded them a few times, but it didn't work.

'What a day... why are they acting so off? This is worse than that time Nagi picked Isagi to play with.' (Y/n) shuddered at the memory, remembering what Chigiri had told her about the bathroom incident. Shaking her head, the girl thought back on the two and her heart picked up a few beats.

'Even with all these arguments, I can't be mad at them. They are both so charming and cute. Reo with that cute smile of his and how he is always so eager to explain and talk about various topics with me. And Nagi, he is so calm and easy to talk to, tho he can be easily annoyed at times. But still, he is such a great player and friend, not to mention he is handsome...' (Y/n) stopped in her tracks and shook her head in embarrassment.

'Calm down, (Y/n)! You need to stop thinking like that before it gets too awkward! They are great friends, that should be enough for you-'

"(Y/n)! There you are, I was looking for you everywhere!" The girl shrieked as Reo's voice was heard and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer to himself.

"R-Reo?! How can I help you?!" The girl panicked at the closeness, but made no attempts to move away or something. The boy grinned at her and spoke up, neither noticing Nagi approaching them.

'S-so...close.' (Y/n) thought.

"I wanted to tell you something! It's urgent!"

"You do? What is it?" The girl gulped as Nagi cleared his throat, standing on the other side of her.

"We have to tell you something." Nagi corrected.

"Yeah, we." Reo grumbled.

"Is it about how off you two have been acting the whole day? Did you two fight?" The two looked at each other awkwardly and Reo let (Y/n) go.

"Well yeah, it involves you too." Nagi admitted.

"Me? What did I do?" (Y/n) asked, her nervousness fading into confusion as the two looked at each other and back at her.

"We kinda heard what you said to Teieri-san this morning." Reo answered. (Y/n) kept quiet for a moment, her eyes widened slowly and she started getting lightheaded.

"Y-you two did?"

'They couldn't have heard their names, right? I whispered it to Teieri-san.' (Y/n) gulped and looked back at the duo.

"So, who are they? Who are the guys you like? Trust me, I can fight-" Nagi groaned as Reo elbowed him to his stomach, then sent the flustered girl a nervous smile.

"What we Nagi wants to say is... we both... well..." Reo grew nervous and started avoiding eye contact with (Y/n) as Nagi recovered from the hit.

"We both like you. We wanted to tell you this before you confess your feelings to whoever the assholes are."

"That's enough, Nagi." Reo warned the albino as (Y/n) looked at the duo in shock.

'They both... like me? What now?! This can't be happening... I was planning on never confessing and living alone with a cat or two.' The girl shock her head as the duo kept on arguing.

"I..." (Y/n) started and caught their attention. Both boys looked nervously back at the girl, expecting her to reject them or something.

"I...well the guys u was talking about were... actually you two."

Nagi and Reo's eyes widened, cheeks turning red as they kept on staring at the girl in shock. Embarrassed, (Y/n) covered her face unsure what to do or say.

"So... are we now a-" Nagi cut himself off, embarrassed to say anything.

"I am so sorry, this is all because I couldn't keep my mouth shut." (Y/n) said. Reo shook his head and walked up to her, removing her hands to look the girl in the eyes.

"It's not your fault, it's really nobodies, but we should have approached you differently with this... but now that it's out, Nagi and I thought of something." Reo said, catching (Y/n)'s attention.

"And what would that be?"

"How about... we 3 try dating?" Nagi now spoke up.

"You mean us 3...at the same time?" (Y/n) asked as the three nodded nervously. The girl thought over the idea, it sounded unusual. Not that she didn't hear of those relationships, but she never imagined herself in that spot. But, would it hurt?

"That sounds nice." (Y/n) admitted, smiling a little. Reo was the first one to speak up, tightening his grip on her hands.

"Alright then. Don't worry (Y/n), I will be the best boyfriend you can find-"

"You mean we will be." Nagi corrected as he walked over to the duo and picked (Y/n) up.

"Nagi!" Reo glared at him as the girl started fidgeting nervously.

"Come on, I want to sleep." The boy said, running off with Reo yelling after him.

"Hey! Come back here!"

"Hmm... no!" Nagi yelled back as the girl let out a giggle, holding tightly onto the boy.

[sortofanobsession]

For your presumed dead loving heart: Jaime is a no-show for training and not answering his phone, everyone is annoyed and Roy is pissed, until the police arrive asking help in identifying a body. Roy and Ted go and it's this whole ordeal thinking Jaime's dead, and being relieved it's not him. Meanwhile Jaime is alive but sunderground on the tubes with no service. When he finally gets to Richmond everyone is beside themselves, he's confused, Roy promptly grabs him and kisses him, chaos ensues.

A/N you guys love putting these guys through hell, don't you? And I am here for it! Love the drama. Love it all. Keep em coming! This one is a little shorter than most of the others but it's not the only one I plan to finish today. So, might have another post today. Not sure. Stay tuned.

Ao3

Ted Lasso Masterlist

Word count: 3k+

Paring: Roy/Jamie, Jamie & AFC Richmond Himbos (platonic)

Content Warning: car wreck, police detectives, death (some random dude), grief and loss, angst (happy ending), fear, mentions being sick/vomiting. Swearing, lots of swearing

A Very Bad Day for AFC Richmond Off Pitch

"This is not like Jamie," Dani says, his tone filled with concern.

"Well, not the newer Jamie, old Jamie maybe," Isaac says.

"But that Jamie is long gone. Our Jamie never misses," Dani Insists.

"And he usually tells someone. Did he train with Coach this morning?" Sam asks. 

"I guess, but had to bail early. Said he had something to do before training," Colin states. He'd already asked. Now the coaches were sequestered in the office with the door closed. And that did not sit well with any of them.

"Coach Kent seems very angry," Jan states what they can all clearly see through the window. "He thinks Jamie is going back to old Jamie." 

"Can you read lips?" The others ask. 

"Helps learn languages faster. It unites verbal and vocal cues to memory faster," Jan says.

"Huh, what are they saying now?" 

"That Jamie is still not picking up, and Keeley, I assume it is Keeley-" Jan says.

"Keeley, yes, he said it again," Richard agrees.

"Right, that she has not heard from him. And then Ted said that they can't just assume something then he looked away."

"Maybe they mean-" Richard goes to say but is cut off as a nervous-looking Higgins leads two men none of them knew into the locker room. Higgins hurries to knock on the gaffer's door. Then everyone silently waits. They can't hear what is said, but Roy goes silent and it looked like his anger drained right out with him as fast as the blood seemed to drain from Ted's face. 

"Gatver," Jan curses. Richard unleashes a litany of curses in multiple languages. Dani goes pale.

"What?" Colin asks. "What happened? Who are they."

"Detectives," Jan says.

"Like Scotland Yard? Did they say metro or-" Colin is cut off when the office door opens and Ted and Roy leave.

Coach Beard looks at the team. 

"What's going on, Coach?" Sam asks, hoping his friends were wrong. "Is it about Jamie?"

"We're those really detectives?" Isaac asks.

"Is Jamie okay?" Colin asks. 

All three questions were asked at the same time. Beard holds his hands up. They go silent.

"First, yes they were detectives. Second, They don't know for sure yet but-" Everyone starts talking at once, and Beard looks at Higgins. 

"Shut it!" Isaac shouts. "Let them finish." Beard nods at Isaac.

"It may or may not be about Jamie," Higgins says. 

"How do they not know?" 

"Because the car they found belonged to Jamie Tartt, but they couldn't ID the…" Higgins looks pained as he struggles to say it. 

"They couldn't identify the driver," Beard says. His arms crossed over his chest.

"Was there an accident?" Sam asks, now very worried for his friend. 

"If they couldn't identify him, then he is either dead or close to it," Jan states. Dani does the sign of the cross and mutters a prayer. 

"The driver did not survive," Higgins finally says.

The room erupts into chaos.

"BUT IT COULD STILL BE SOMEONE ELSE!" Beard shouts. The team goes quiet again.

"Jamie has a very recognizable face," Dani says. "How do they not know? It is Jamie, or it isn't Jamie. Cannot be both."

"Roy said Jamie mentioned taking his car somewhere. That it had an issue. We don't know anything yet," Beard explains. "You boys can go home if you want. Training is-"

"We're not going nowhere, til we find out if Jamie is okay, right?" Isaac says, looking at the others who all adamantly agree.

"Well, then get comfy, might be a long wait."

"I should inform, Rebecca-Ms. Welton," Higgins says. And Beard nods as he goes back into his office in case someone calls. 

"This cannot be happening," Dani says.

"Let's hope it isn't," Isaac says. "That is some sorta mix-up."

It goes quiet. No one is sure what to say, and everything feels wrong.

Roy doesn't even look at the team as he goes into the office and sits at his desk. Ted goes in and says something no one can make out to Beard before going back out to the oddly silent team. All of them just waiting for him to say something. 

"Wasn't Jamie," Ted says. Shockingly direct and blunt for the usually verbose gaffer but the relief is palpable in the room. But everyone goes quiet again when Ted still doesn't look happy.

"Then what's wrong?" Sam asks. "Where is Jamie?"

"We still have not been able to track him down, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. He could just have a broken or dead phone. It is possible that there was a family emergency, or he got called away for something and didn't have time to let anyone know. We don't know anything except that someone had Jamie's car."

"Do they think someone took it from him, like violently?" Colin asks. He was too good at coming up with worst-case scenarios.

"No way of knowing yet," Ted says. 

"So what? We just wait here until they tell us if Jamie is even alive?" 

"Assuming they can find him," Bumbercatch says.

"Not the most positive of possibilities,” Ted says. “But we can only hope for a positive outcome."

"What does Roy think?" Colin asks. 

"He hasn't said much other than that was definitely not Jamie," Ted answers honestly. "And I don't suggest asking him too much."

"Why not? He spends the most time with him," Jan says. Roy gets up and goes to the hall, slamming the door as he does. They all wince. 

"Oh, I see," Jan says. 

"He is taking this rather hard, it seems," Ted says. 

It is quiet for a moment before Ted excuses himself to go talk to Rebecca and Higgins. And Roy, if he hasn't gone far, but Roy was already gone. So, he headed upstairs. 

Roy let himself into Jamie's flat with a spare. He had told Jamie he needed to hide better, but Jamie had clearly failed to move the key. It was amazing no one had broken into his flat and- Roy was suddenly very concerned about what he might find inside. He called out for Jamie and was met with silence. Dread pooled in Roy's gut as he closes the door and made his way into Jamie's home. He looked around the floor before going upstairs and checking the first floor. Nothing. No Jamie. No sign anything was wrong. Absolutely nothing. Roy sat down on the edge of Jamie's bed and tried to think about every detail from their early morning training session. Jamie had seemed fine. He was his usual determined and annoyingly chatty self. He didn't seem worked up about anything other than his car having a light out or something. He was annoyed that he had to actually do something about it but not angry or even worried. It was eating Roy up that he hadn't stayed to find out more. Or offer to go wherever Jamie had to go with him. Fuck, why did it feel like he should have never left? Jamie is a grown-ass man. He didn't need Roy to hold his damn hand for everything.

"You sound broken," Keeley says when Roy finishes telling her what he knew. 

"Fuck!" Roy shouts to the empty bedroom. He decided to keep the key and headed back to his car after locking up. The last thing he needed was for Jamie to come home to find his electronics missing or some shit. Roy ignores the tiny voice in the back of his mind that points out Jamie might never come home again. Might never do anything again. And it makes his knuckles go white as he grips his steering wheel and his breakfast threatening to make a reappearance for the second time that day. The first was right before they pulled the sheet back at the morgue. That moment when he thought he might actually have had to look at the cold and lifeless body of Jamie Tartt in the morgue. And fuck, that had nearly destroyed Roy. He had a moment of absolute relief when it was obvious that the body wasn't Jamie's. The face might not have been recognizable, but Roy had just seen Jamie. He knew Jamie's tattoos, and those were different. He knew Jamie's ring. Even his stupid fucking earrings. And the body had none of them. They hadn't taken any of them from the body. Roy actually knew a lot more of Jamie than he even realized he did. He could close his eyes and see the man in vivid detail. For better or for worse, Roy knew Jamie better than most people did. They spent hours talking about mundane shit during early morning runs and training. They even had breakfast on occasion. And Roy had enjoyed every fucking second of his time with Jamie. He drove back to Nelson Road, but before he got out of his car, he called Keeley to update her.

"Fucking feel broken," he admits. 

"Is it because you care for Jamie more than you actually want to admit, or is it because you finally did admit it, and now you are scared you won't be able to do anything about it?"

"The second one," Roy says. "Fuck, Keeley, if something's happened and he-"

"You are going to work yourself into a mess with what-ifs, and when he does come home, you're going to make him worry or, worse, feel guilty. So just breathe and go be with the others. Call me if you hear anything, okay?" 

"Yeah, okay. Thanks, Keeley," he says before hanging up. He takes a few deep breaths and goes inside. He waves off anyone that tries to ask how he is. He tells them he went by Jamie's flat, and he wasn't there, and nothing seemed off. Everyone just settles in to wait for some kind of answer. 

Jamie rushes through the door, verbally apologizing for being late, but the train was late. When he notices that it is eerily silent despite the locker room being what had seemed like it's usually chaos when he came in. He looks up. And the room feels fucking off. Dani looks like he has been crying for who knows how long. Colin looks like he's seen a fucking ghost. Sam looks absolutely shook. 

"Who fucking died?" Jamie means it as a dark joke, but when Colin's gaze snaps to Isaac like he expected their captain to explain. Jamie realizes it might not be a joke. "Wait, what-" but he is cut off by a body hitting his. And it knocks him breathless for a second. When he inhales, he gets hit with the overwhelming scent of Roy fucking Kent, and Jamie's brain might have to reboot because when he looks at Roy's face. The man looks fucking shattered, and Jamie is about to ask what was going on when Roy's lips are on his. Jamie swears Roy's hands shake as they grip the sides of Jamie's face. The striker drops the bag he was still holding so he can grip Roy's sides. He has no idea what is going on, but if Roy is kissing him, then he sure as shit isn't going to miss the opportunity to kiss Roy fucking Kent. 17-year-old him would have fucking lost his shit if he could see this.

"Not that I'm complainin'," Jamie says once he gets air back in his lungs. "But what the fuck was that for?" 

"Where the fuck have you been? And where the fuck is your phone?" Roy asks.

Jamie's brow furrows despite the fact Roy still has a grip on his face. "Phones in me bag," Jamie says. "Some prick smashed me tail light. Told ya earlier had to drop it round the shop. Fuckin day for it. Seems the tube system is fucked today. Took fucking ages, and there's never any service down there, or I'd have let you know I'd be late. Shoulda got a loner. Ya gonna tell me going on? What happened?"

"They said you was fucking dead, bruv," Isaac answers him. Roy fucking tenses but doesn't pull away. “Then you weren’t, but still could be.”

Jamie is pretty sure Roy is not a PDA guy, but if what Isaac said is true, Roy's reaction made a bit more sense now, but still, what the fuck?

"What? Who?" Jamie asks and shifts to actually hug Roy, like an actual comforting hug. The right move based on the fact Roy moves one hand to the back of his neck, and the other goes around his shoulder. 

"A detective dropped by and asked us to come identify a body," Ted answers. "Was a tense ride to the police station. I can tell you that much. Thought ol' Roy was going to pass out or throw up. And not cuz of the dead body. Obviously, wasn't you, since you're here. But whooey were we glad it wasn't you. I'm sorry for whoever it was and hope their family will be alright, but never been so glad NOT to see one of you fellas." 

"Fuckin hell," Jamie mutters. "Ehhhh…can you guys…umm."

"Right!” Ted claps. “Now that our boy is here, time to train."

The team grumbles, but they go. Once everyone is gone. Jamie focused on Roy.

"I'm fine, Roy," Jamie says. Not coach, boss, or some joke about his age. He says his name. And that has something twisting in Roy's stomach. Good or bad, he doesn't know. "Really, I swear."

"Fuck," is the first thing Roy manages to articulate, and that earns a nervous laugh from Jamie. 

"Yeah," Jamie grins because he can feel Roy start to relax. "Makes a lot more sense why I had like a hundred messages and voicemails. I just thought you all were just mad I was late. Not like late for me next birthday, kinda late." Jamie winces at his own dark humor joke. It earns a grunt from Roy, and he finally pulls away to actually look at Jamie. 

"You have the worst fucking humor," Roy states.

"Yeah, that one’s a bit dark, innit?" Jamie laughs. "Probably not me best timed one either."

"Fuck no," Roy grunts. 

"But a bad joke is still a joke, and can't tell many of those if 'm dead." 

Roy nods in agreement. 

"You right enough that I can get me kit on? Or do you need another hug?" Jamie genuinely asks. He's not about to rush anything, even if it is just letting Roy process the fact Jamie is very much still alive. Roy seems to weigh his options. He studies Jamie before pulling him in for another kiss. Jamie gives him exactly what he wanted. Once they pull apart again, Roy tells him to hurry the fuck up and get out on the pitch. Jamie just laughs.

He is lacing up his boots when his phone rings, and he answers it.

"Fucking hell, Jamie. Are you alright?" Keeley asks. She seems almost as stressed as the team was, and Jamie realizes someone must have called her trying to find him.

"I'm fine, still very much alive and late for training," he tells her.

"Roy was losing his fucking mind," Keeley says.

"I know, he…well, I'll tell you later. If I don't get out there, the whole damn team might come looking for me. I promise I will tell you the full story."

"After training," she says.

"Right, after training," he agrees.

"I'll hold you to it," Keeley says. "Oh, and I'm sorry about your car, but you can always get a new one."

"Wait, what about me car?" he asks as he finishes lacing his boots. 

"Uhh, ask Roy. He can give you the details. And help you pick a new one," she says.

"Right, okay. Gotta go, yeah?"

"Text me later, babe. Now go on."

Jamie grins as he hangs up and heads to the tunnel. 

Roy looks over at him as he reaches the pitch.

"You good? Took you a while," Roy looks him over, but he looks fine.

"Keeley called," Jamie states.

"That would do it," Roy nods.

"She mentioned something," Jamie says. Roy is suddenly very concerned that Keeley said something Roy hadn't had the nerve to say out loud but was pretty sure Jamie had figured out based on the fact Roy had nearly knocked him over and kissed him. Fuck that was- his thoughts are cut off when Jamie speaks.

"What happened to me car?" Jamie asks, and Roy grunts. 

"Totaled. Some prick took it for a joyride and got themselves killed."

"Fuck,” Jamie says. His car was just a car, but yeah he can see why the police and shit got involved. “And you guys thought it was me?" 

"Until Ted and I told them that the dead guy was not you."

"You had to…fuck, Roy. That's fucked up."

"Yeah, well, better us than your mum having to drive four hours to do it."

"Don't even joke. That would kill her," Jamie grimaces. 

"Wasn't exactly a fun time for us either. But I knew it wasn't you," Roy says. 

"How?" Jamie is actually curious.

"Because I know you, Jamie. I know you better than I do most people. And I know that for a reason."

"Oh yeah? What is that?"

"Because someone has to make sure you do shit, like move your damn spare key," Roy says, holding up the spare key to Jamie's flat. "I told you to do that weeks ago. It was way too obvious. And you are too famous to be that-"

"Stupid?" Jamie offers up, eyeing the key.

"Reckless," Roy finishes. "Fucking hell, Jamie."

"Just keep it, then I won't have to hide one," Jamie shrugs.

"Are you serious?" Roy asks, absolutely shocked.

"I mean, you show up at my house like every morning before dawn. Might as well make it easier on both of us and keep it. Besides, I have a feeling you'll be using a lot more now that-" Jamie is cut off by Roy kissing him. They get catcalls and wolf whistles from the players on the pitch. Jamie blushes and ducks his head when they pull apart. Roy just flips everyone off and tells them to fuck off and take a lap. They laugh until they realize he wasn't joking. Jamie joins them. After the lap, there is a lot of hugging, especially between Jamie, Dani, and Sam, before training actually starts in earnest. Jamie may need a new car, but he is sure as hell glad he has his coaches and his friends, especially Roy. Roy was easily becoming a bit of everything. His coach, his friend, and now something more. Yeah, Jamie could live with needing a new car for this outcome. He can live with that.

[dangraccoon]

Oyuba’din - Chapter 12: Distant

Summary: After her discussion with Hunter, Jaine makes a tough decision. Granted a little R&R, The Bad Batch goes out for the evening.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, something that feels significantly like a break up

Author’s Note: hello frands! Fret not the issues that arise in this chapter will be resolved soon! meanwhile I’ll just be sad about what I wrote myself

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“Firing you? Jainey, you outrank him, he can’t just fire you,” Rex scoffed over the holocall. 

“We don’t operate like that. I told him from the first day that he was still in charge. If he feels I am changing the squad’s dynamic for the worse, I can’t blame him for sending me off,” she explained. “Besides, these guys don’t really get hurt all that often aside from the occasional scrape or bruise.”

“I don’t think he can put in a transfer for you anyway; your assignment to that squad was signed by Cody and two generals. Besides, ‘will of the Force’ and all that.”

“Maybe I’m not doing any good here,” she whispered, pulling her legs up to her chest. “I want to be out there helping people. Maybe I should put in for the transfer. Are you looking for a medic?”

Rex sighed. “I mean, of course, we could always use the extra hands, but are you sure that’s what you want?”

Jaine shrugged. “I don’t want to be somewhere I’m not needed, or even wanted. Maybe we just need some distance. I want to transfer; I’ll put in for it as soon as possible. I have a meeting with General Kenobi soon anyway.”

“Jaine, I don’t think any of that is tr-”

“Jaine, we should be arriving on Coruscant momentarily,” Tech called from the other side of the medbay door. 

“Thank you,” she called before facing the hologram of her friend once more. “Sorry, Rex. Gotta go.”

“Stay safe, Jainey. Look out for yourself, alright?”

“Yes sir,” she chuckled. “Only if you don’t get into too much trouble without me.”

“The 501st? Trouble?” he smirked. “Never.”

With that the call ended and Jaine was alone once more. Letting out a heavy sigh, she rose to her feet. 

She could feel the pang of melancholy weighing on her chest as she packed up what few items and supplies actually belonged to her rather than the squad. She dressed in her officer’s uniform, smoothing out any lingering wrinkles. 

Jaine stood in front of the door, her heart hammering in her chest. Taking one more deep breath, she slid the door open, but was met with Wrecker, having just raised his fist to knock on the door.

“Jainey?” he asked, cocking his head to the side a little. “Why’re you in your uniform? Could just wear your armor like us.”

“I’ve got a meeting today, Wreck,” she half explained.

“A meeting with whom?” Tech inquired, as he and Hunter entered the small corridor.

“Just an old friend,” she said. She caught Hunter’s eye and was surprised to see a questioning look in his eyes. 

Wrecker accepted this answer easily, giving Tech a light hit on the shoulder, before rushing off to harass Crosshair and Echo. 

Hunter eyed Tech, who was still looking curiously at Jaine. A few moments of this and Tech finally noticed the glare coming from his brother and sergeant, excusing himself from the small group and leaving the officers alone.

“You’ve packed?” Hunter asked, noticing the bag strung across her back.

“Yes,” she said stiffly, the ice in her normally cheery tone slicing through his armor. “After our…conversation the other day, I decided it might be best if I were to transfer to another unit. My services are barely needed here as is, and I refuse to become a problem within the squad.”

“Jaine, I-”

“I have a meeting to get to, Sergeant,” she added swiftly, turning to leave the corridor before he could get another word out.

Jaine didn’t know why she was nervous, but she always was as she approached the door.

She was never sure if she’d be met by her friend or one of the other women who worked at this particular establishment, but here stood her best friend of many years; Sinya Bey, a gorgeous dark blue twi’lek.

“Jaine, you’re alive,” Sinya chuckled.

“I’m in one piece anyway,” Jaine smiled back.

The pair of women moved to a nearby couch and sat down, Sinya wiggling her fingers at a few patrons that were watching them. 

“So, tell me all about the adventures you’ve been having with this mysterious squad of yours,” Sinya said, bumping Jaine’s arm.

“They’re not my squad, Sinya,” she groaned, feeling her cheeks flush slightly.

“Sure,” the twi’lek replied easily. “How are you holding up? Any…recent incidents?”

“No,” Jaine sighed. “A few injuries, but nothing too close for comfort.”

“Memories?”

“I know I’m still missing some.”

Sinya fidgeted a little. “Do you want to go over your list?”

“I don’t know,” Jaine moaned, sinking into the couch. “I don’t think I’m up to it right now.”

“That’s alright,” her friend assured her, placing a soft hand on her arm. “Tell me about this squad then. I mean surrounded by five strong, handsome men? Must get…interesting. At least tell me you’ve picked one.”

Jaine felt her face grow even redder as her jaw dropped. “Sinya! You can’t say things like that!”

“Darling, we’re in a strip club, this is probably the most appropriate setting for this conversation.”

“No, no, it’s not,” Jaine protested, rising from the couch. “I shouldn’t even be here, I’m an officer of the GAR! I doubt this is appropriate.”

“Oh, Jaine, darling,” Sinya chided, pulling Jaine back onto the couch and into a tight hug. “I can tell how stressed you are. C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

-

“This is a terrible idea,” Hunter growled.

“Aw, c’mon, Hunter, don’t be so grumpy,” Crosshair sneered, as though he were one to talk.

Hunter looked at his brother, a deadpan glare.

“We’ve got a few days of R&R; we should enjoy them,” Echo added.

Tech nodded, barely taking his eyes away from his data pad. “Ingesting alcohol is an entertaining way to spend an evening.”

Hunter shook his head profusely. “Boys, I-”

“Yeah!” cheered Wrecker, practically lifting Hunter from the ground to carry him out of their shared unit on Coruscant's GAR base. “Let’s get drunk!”

The journey to the little hole-in-the-wall nightclub they visited every time they landed on Coruscant was short. It wasn’t as popular a destination for clones as 79’s, but sometimes officers would show up to have a few moments to themselves instead of with their men. Most importantly, the regs that did show up to The Nebulous couldn’t be bothered by the Batch’s presence.

As they arrived, the atmosphere immediately flooded Hunter’s senses. The music was loud, the smell of sweat, alcohol, and arousal clung in the air, and the lighting was somehow both bright and dim. He stood there, doing his best to adjust. It had been months since their last visit.

“Come on,” Crosshair said, pulling Hunter by the arm. “You’ll feel better after a few shots.” 

-

“Your clothes don’t even fit me!” Jaine protested as Sinya searched her closet.

Sinya gasped, startling Jaine a little. “I’ve got it!” she exclaimed, holding up a dress for Jaine to see.

“Absolutely not!” Jaine shouted. While they had very similar measurements, her friend was a decent bit shorter than her, and while the deep red dress adorned with black lace would suit Sinya well, it was much too short for Jaine’s somewhat lanky frame.

“At least try it on?” Sinya begged, breaking out the sad loth-kitten eyes; the ones Jaine could never say no to in all the years they’d known each other. 

Jaine gave a sigh of defeat, mumbling as she turned to walk into the refresher. “Hardly a scrap of fabric, let alone a whole dress.”

-

Hunter hated to admit it, but maybe Crosshair was right; three shots and a couple beers in and Hunter was feeling better. He knew the effects of substances like alcohol were different for him than his brothers. It always hit harder, but it was difficult to predict how it would affect his senses. Tech had tried various experiments; the number of drinks, the types of alcohol, precipitating factors. All of it led to Tech informing him that predicting how Hunter would feel while drinking was nearly impossible, and that there must be a factor he was missing. 

Tonight was a good night, however, and Hunter sat at their booth, blissfully watching Wrecker and Crosshair dance with a pair of women who seemed very interested in the two of them. Tech had found himself a mechanic who was allowing him to talk her ear off, and Echo was at the bar, grabbing himself and Hunter another beer. 

And best of all, Hunter thought. They’re not thinking about her.

Hunter was angry. It may have slipped past his brothers, somehow including Tech, but it was obvious before she even told him that she was leaving. The distance she’d put between herself and his brothers during the journey back to Coruscant, the way she refused to talk to any of the three he knew were falling for her. He could hear her softly crying as she went to bed. He heard her talking to Captain Rex. And it all made Hunter angry. But even more than that? It made him feel so heartbroken.

Some small part of him whispered, isn’t this what you wanted? 

Echo was back at the table now, giving Hunter a strange look. 

“You alright, vod?” he asked, sliding Hunter’s new glass over to him. 

Hunter scowled at the table a little looking into his drink as though it had the answers he so desperately needed. 

“‘M fine,” Hunter replied, unconvinced himself. Though the slight slur he’d noticed in his voice certainly didn’t help. 

“Getting overloaded?”

“No.”

Echo narrowed his eyes at him. “You sure?”

Hunter scoffed a little. “Said I’m fine, Echo.”

“What happened with Jaine?” Echo asked. Echo’s eyes were boring holes into the side of Hunter’s skull, but the latter refused to meet them. 

“She’s leaving,” Hunter muttered, unwilling to make this conversation last any longer than necessary, not noticing or caring the way his voice wavered. 

Echo’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What?”

Hunter shrugged, taking a long swig from his drink. “Said she’s put in for a transfer to another unit.”

Echo scowled now, taking a sip of his own drink. “What did you say to her?”

This wasn’t a tone Hunter often heard from Echo. There was hardly a time when he couldn’t expect Echo to be steady and even, despite everything he’d gone through. But this tone? It was dark, rising from deep within his chest. He was angry, too. 

Hunter finally lifted his eyes to Echo’s. “Who said I said anything to her?”

“That morning after I had the night terror, she seemed a little off but she was her normal self. You talk to her alone for five minutes and suddenly she’s upset, you’re upset, and she refuses to talk to any of us. What happened?”

Echo is always more observant than Hunter remembers him to be. He has this knack for picking up on people’s habits and emotions that drives Hunter up a wall. 

Hunter downed the rest of his drink. “I told her she was distracting the team. I told her that if she kept it up, it would ruin the dynamics of the squad. Might’ve implied that she was sleeping with a subordinate.”

“Hunter,” Echo hissed. 

“I know, Echo,” Hunter moaned, dropping his head onto the table. “I’m such an idiot. How the hell could I say those things to her? How could I hurt her like that? Maker, I regretted all of it the moment she walked away. I’ve had to listen to her crying every night knowing that I hurt her like that. I made her cry. I made her hurt you and Crosshair. I hurt her and now she’s leaving.”

By the end of Hunter’s rant, the sergeant - having been hit by the new wave of alcohol rapidly racing through his body - was practically sobbing. Echo was still angry, but it was hard to stay that way as he watched one of the strongest men he knew break down. 

“It’s gonna be alright, Hunter,” he said, resting his hand on His brother’s arm. “But you’re going to have to fix this. You know that, right?”

Hunter’s head shot up from the table to glare at Echo, who startled back from him a little.

Getting up from the table, Hunter stretched a little, feeling the alcohol hit him even harder now that he was standing. 

“Where are you going?” Echo sputtered, watching the sergeant walk away. “Hunter!”

Hunter mumbled out a response that Echo was pretty sure sounded like either “fresher” or “fuck you”; Hunter didn’t really care in either way as he made his way to the door at the back of the club. It led out to an alleyway where Hunter could get some fresh air; or at least the freshest air one could get on Coruscant. 

-

Jaine didn’t know this place, and that made her antsy. Of course, she’d been to 79’s before with some of the guys from the 212th, but the clone bar and this nightclub seemed to be in separate universes. 

“What is this place?” she asked, tugging at the hem of her borrowed dress. It was definitely too short. 

“The only clone-friendly nightclub in this part of Coruscant,” Sinya grinned. Jaine noted that the mischievous look that was typically in Sinya’s eye whenever she pushed Jaine out of her comfort zone was present now. 

“Really?” Jaine bristled. “I told you about what’s going on with me and you decide to bring me here?”

Sinya mocked offense. “Darling, please, I would never put you in an uncomfortable situation! From everything you’ve told me they don’t seem like the clubbing types; they’re probably at 79’s if they’re anywhere! And besides, this is one of the only places I can meet up with my boytoy.”

Jaine gagged jokingly. “So what you’re saying is that we’ll drink and dance for ten minutes until this man of yours shows up and then you’ll go off with him while I get left alone at the club.” The crossed her arms over her chest.

“Come on, Jaine,” Sinya whined. “It’ll be fine! Who knows, you might even meet someone to help you forget about that stupid squad.”

-

“Hunter?” Echo called as he entered the multi-stall fresher at the back of the club. It’d been ten minutes since his brother had stumbled away. 

Hunter wasn’t the time to just disappear, especially when drunk; he was typically affectionate, to the point where he’d follow whichever poor vod he’d latched onto quite literally anywhere they went. Given that Echo had seen Tech, Wrecker, and Crosshair without Hunter, Echo was starting to feel concerned. 

Not finding any trace of the sergeant, Echo swiftly left the fresher, looking around the large room. As his eyes passed over the entrance, he couldn’t help but double-take.

Standing there, entering with a dark blue twi’lek, was Jaine. She looked a little nervous, eyes starting to scan the room, before her friend shouted, running into the arms of a very happy looking clone. Jaine awkwardly followed her, sheepishly introducing herself.

“That Jainey?” Hunter slurred, leaning against Echo’s shoulder, startling the ARC just a little. “Looks good.”

“Let’s get you out of here, sarge,” Echo mumbled. “I’ll get Tech to round up the others.”

“Mmm, nah,” Hunter said, his arm coming up to meet Echo’s face. “Wanna see ‘er.”

“Hunter, I don’t think that’s a good id-”

Hunter let out a psht, pushing himself off of Echo and walking in a sort of diagonal line over to Jaine’s little group, now sitting at a table.

“Where is he going?” Tech asked, having noticed his brother’s drunken behavior. 

“To talk to Jaine,” Echo replied simply, pointing to where the aforementioned medic was seated.

“Is that Jaine? She looks different,” Tech cocked his head to the side. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Echo sighed. “I’m aware.”

“Should we stop him?”

“No,” Echo said. “Go get Wrecker and Crosshair; we need to get out of here before Hunter implodes.”

-

Jaine had to admit, the clone Sinya was seeing was certainly an interesting one. From the moment she introduced herself he looked awkward, possibly even intimidated by her. That couldn’t be right, if he could put on a confident face in front of Sinya, he could certainly handle her.

Sinya excused herself to go get more drinks, leaving Jaine alone with him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your name?” she asked after an awkwardly quiet moment.

The trooper’s eyes shot up to hers, a panicked expression deep within them. 

“I don’t think I told you,” he said, looking away.

“What is it?” she prodded.

“Argus,” he mumbled. 

“That’s an interesting one,” she replied. “It’s nice to meet you.”

That panicked expression covered his face once more. “Actually, sir, we’ve already met.”

Jaine cocked her head a little. “I’m sorry, Argus, I don’t remember,” she felt her face heat with embarrassment. Jaine had met a lot of clones during her time as a GAR medic, yet she always felt bad when she didn’t remember one.

“That’s alright,” Argus assured. “I think I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad,” she smiled. “Were you injured?”

“Not exactly,” he breathed. “We met in the mess hall. After a bit of a brawl I’d gotten into with your squad.”

The memory came back to her slowly, and she couldn’t help herself but to laugh. “Small galaxy, isn’t it?”

“Sir?”

“I just mean, I gave you a proper talking to in front of your brothers and you happen to be the one dating my best friend? Force really does work in mysterious ways!”

Slowly, her laugh infected him and he was laughing, too, the pair confusing Sinya endlessly when she returned.

“Jaine?” a smoky voice interrupted Sinya’s interrogation.

The laughter of the table died down. 

“Hunter?”

Thanks for reading! - Dang

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[pbandjesse]

My allergies are making me feel very unwell right now. I'm hoping my meds start working soon because I took them over an hour ago and still nothing. I very much just want to sleep.

But there is much to talk about. Last night after I finished my post I made the mini cinnamon rolls and then jokingly got mad at James for moving the orange soda I left on the coffee table for two hours. Saying I was just coming back for it. And then we got into our off brand Lego flowers and sat down to watch the wedding video.

And I'll be honest, it starts alright. The b roll and shots around the monument are great. But the ceremony was framed weird and we are blocked by mics for a lot of it. And while the actual vows are filmed well, there is a lot of sound issues. And I would have liked to hear laughing from the audience more. I was glad the speeches were filmed. And I loved hearing the vows and speeches again. But I am just really disappointed in the quality of the video, the clips, the audio in parts, and the weird song choices. For some reason after the ceremony the rest is dubbed over with Rihanna. Even our first dance. I don't know why you would pick the song we actually danced to. And then it just ends with the final shot being two guests dancing that are Anne and Tucker's friends. No outro or anything. And I was just kind of bummed. I'm trying to not be upset, and I'm not falling apart like I was with the trailer. But it's not good. And I'm disappointed. In the video but also in our friend. Like we paid them more then any other vender outside of the venue and food. And it took 9 months. And it's just. Rushed at the end and not anything like I wanted. And it's just really disappointing. I am hoping James can talk to Brandon and maybe get the raw footage. Maybe I can make something closer to what I wanted. I don't really know much of editing but James does and maybe we can do something together.

We would go to bed pretty late. And neither of us really slept well. My neck hurt again when I woke up. Thankfully not as much as last week but still not good. I decided I was buying us new pillows today. Maybe that would help fix it.

When I woke up James was making me an omelet in the other room. Which was very sweet and would be a very good breakfast when I got to camp.

I got dressed and felt pretty good. My hair was kind of driving me crazy today but it was whatever. I really would like to dye it. Maybe this weekend when James is away that can be an activity for me.

But the day would be a nice one. I had a good walk this morning. Chatted with Bonnie and pet her dog Buddy. Went to see Ty and feed the goats an apple. I sat and talked with him for a while. He filled me in on petty drama and nonsense form the weekend. It was good to talk to him.

But I had to go and do my actual job. When I had gotten to work I knew the back was going to be messed up from color wars again. So I didn't go back right away and did everything else I needed to do before going and seeing what was up. And it was a mess. Materials wrecked and trash everywhere. I was very upset and felt pretty disrespected but it also just hurt my feelings. So I told the group chat just that. And reiterated that we should be leaving spaces better then we found them. It is just really frustrating.

I would get everything fixed though and after Mannie came up to see if he could help but he was to late for that. I still appreciated him asking. No one else did.

I started heading to the office and Annabelle would drive us down in the gator. Which is finally fixed. And I reminded Heather I would have to leave early next Monday. Made sure it's on the calendar. And went back to my building to wait for my group.

Who was late. All my overnights were late today. But it was fine. I was nervous about this. But everyone who loved it and it actually worked really well. A couple minutes after my first overnight came my new YLP, Anton, team and he's so good. I am almost convinced that he's Tatiana's boyfriend. But he has not said so so I will not say anything until he does. But he's very helpful. He does really want to be in the hammock which I understand and I told him he can when we don't have groups but I have him in charge of the hot glue gun station and so far no one has gotten hurt so that's good. And the kids are so creative with their puppets and that's just amazing to see.

The first two groups were girls and they made themselves and their animals and their friends and soccer players and it was just a lot of fun. And because they were so into the work I got to just sit to the side and watch them and give advice but also work on my knitting. All 144 squares are done and I'm starting to sew them together. I have five rows completed. I am making great time.

Lunch came pretty quickly and I wasn't going to go down. I had Left some of my omelette because I wasn't sure if lunch would be any good. But then Celia let me know that it was spaghetti so I would head down and got the biggest bowl possible for some reason. But it was still good. I didn't eat it all but it was a nice pass to even if the sauce was a little boring. I wish that there had been bread. But that's okay.

The afternoon groups also did a really good job. The first day camp group was a little more cautious about the hot glue but still seem to have a really good time and Anton did a really excellent job with them. He has a very good energy for the kids. He's 16 and he was trying his best and I really appreciate that.

Then we had our little break and I would lay outside and he laid inside and then we had bontkirchen.

And they did fine. They did string bracelets and two of them did metal casting. And I really only had a problem with one child who was also their last week wasting paint again. Because even though I told him please only pour as you go she keeps making entire pallets with all the colors and then only using like two of them and wasting all that pain it's so annoying. Stop wasting my paint! I keep telling you I don't have that much. So I had to talk to her counselor because her counselor also wanted to paint and I was like could you just share paint with her please. And that helped make me feel a little bit better about it. But then afterwards I leaned on the painted wood that the counselor made and got paid on my new dress. And it's fine I'm going to get paint on my clothing but it was just like seriously. Another thing I have to deal with with paint???!!

But I got over it pretty fast. We had our last day camp group and they were excellent. I really love day camp 10 and Trista is such a good counselor and really I just enjoy sitting and talking to her. And I really enjoyed sitting and talking to the kids as well. This was a solid group and I had a lot of fun with them.

For the last like 10-15 minutes of that hour I went inside to examine some things that Alicia, one of the counselors who was doing the Camp award and needed a service hour, sorting for me. One of my under cabinets is absolutely filed with plaster slip molds. And I have never taken them out or looked at them. And so she took them out and cataloged what they were and that was amazing. I chose half of them I thought we could reasonably do. Some are form the 1960s! And we, we being me, Anton, Alicia, and Louisa, would experiment with mixing plaster and using rubber bands to hold the molds. We ended duo with a radish, a ball, and a piece of corn. And I'm thrilled. This is going to be so much fun. I have no idea what I will do with them but ime excited to see what we can make.

We would clean up pretty fast. And I would spend a few minutes showing Louisa how to sew a whip stitch. And then I said goodbye to everyone.

I finished putting some stuff away while I talked to Louisa about how pillows are to expensive and then it was time to go.

I was not in a rush at all. And didn't mind waiting for Dachelle in the gator to give out snacks to the day campers by the pool. Even if I couldn't convince her to give me a rice krispie too.

Then I was heading to Marshalls. Where I found 4 pillows for less then what I had budgeted for two. And they are quoted and very soft. I got one thinner and one thicker for variety. I hope it helps my neck.

I also tried on some clothes. And got a black dress with a flattering front panel. It's like a corset triangle without the corset. Very pretty while still being really simple.

And then I went to pay. And found my wallet was not in my bag and I panicked.

The girl was really nice and made a note to hold the stuff for me. And I went to the car to see if it was there but no luck so I called James.

And they found it at home in my fanny pack. Which is the bag I used yesterday. I felt really stupid and upset with myself. But James talked me through adding my discover card to my Google wallet so I could pay with my phone. Which was really neat. I had to wait in line for a little but that was fine and I was able to pay. And then get rid of Google wallet form my phone because I don't want that. Feels unsafe. And then went home.

It took a while to get home. And I spilled lemonade on myself. So I was a little unhappy when I got back. But James was there. And sweetp was there. And things would be okay.

I took a quick shower and got changed and then we headed out. We were going to go to the brewery for dinner but they aren't open on Monday so to Michaels instead.

Where we go enough and only order one thing that the girl recognized us and was like. The usual? I've never had a usual before!!! So that was pretty cool. Though she gave me regular Pepsi instead of diet and James had to go ask her to swap it out and I felt bad. But the food was good and it was nice talking to my love and I felt good. I felt a lot better then I had.

After dinner James asked if I wanted ice cream but the line was to long and I didn't actually want ice cream I just wanted to spend time with them. So we didn't get any and went home instead.

When we got home we hung out. I laid in bed and enjoyed the new pillows. Eventually I would make more of the cinnamon rolls, called snail rolls, and when they were in the oven I asked James to watch them while I took a longer shower to hopefully help with the allergies that popped up when we got home.

And now we are in bed. Sweetp is here and seems to be in a much better mood. More cuddly. I am glad. I love him so much. And I love my James. And I hope we sleep better tonight.

Tomorrow I am hoping to feel good. Little to no neck pain. No wrist pain, which has subsided since I hit myself with the book but may be coming back, and I hope the weather is as nice as it was today.

I also hope to stay over. We might ride horses. And I am just looking forward to a good time. I hope you all have a good time too. Sleep well my friends. Goodnight

[mikalara-dracula]

Hii :3 i love your blog, can i have headcanons of ayato, Subaru and shuu having a big crush on a girl but the girl doesnt like them back :3 thanks

When their crush doesn’t like them back

ft. Ayato, Subaru, and Shu

Hi there, Anon!

Aw, thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you so much for requesting as well! Tbh, I think I may have overdone it with how much I wrote here, but I was just so inspired lol. Hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to request again anytime. :))

Parallel post: When their crush doesn't like them back (ft. Reiji, Laito, and Kanato)

Ayato:

Oh boy, he’s not going to take this lightly--oh no, not at all.

Ayato was literally raised to think that he’s the best out of his brothers and anyone else.

So, you not liking him back is not something he’s not going to accept . . . at least, not easily anyways.

However, before we get to the negative, let’s begin with how all of this started.

Ayato first noticed you at cheerleading practice.

(Okay, so I’m not sure if their school in DL necessarily has a cheerleading team, but considering the students play sports, there’s a chance that there might be, but let’s just imagine that there is one for this scenario.)

Anyways tho, you were busy practicing the cheer choreography for the next basketball game, and with Ayato being on the school’s basketball team, he noticed you practicing from far away as he was practicing on the court with his team.

He grew interested quite quickly to know who you were; the way your uniform displayed itself against your body, the gleam that sparkled in your eyes as you cheered with the rest of your team. From that point on, he was determined to get to know you and make you his girl.

Since he likes to make a grand entrance, how he met you was staged with a few of his guy friends since he wants to leave an impression.

You were standing in the crowded hall with your group of friends, just talking about the most random of things whilst you held your textbooks for next period until a guy with a hoodie ran past you and knocked you over, making you lose your balance as you started to fall.

To your luck though, someone swooped in and caught you before you could hit the ground, his red locks falling into his face as he held you securely in his arms, pulling you upward to help you stand on your feet again.

You were shocked. Not being able to hold back gratitude for saving you from such a fall, you’d thank, “Thank you for-,”

“No need to thank me, babe . . . . The name’s Ayato by the way.” He’d smirk, walking off to join his group of friends that were waiting for him at the end of the hall, soon cheering him on as they rounded into the next hall knowing that it had all gone according to plan.

Through witnessing everything that happened, everyone was whispering and gossiping about it in the halls. This would lead one of your friends to comment whilst giggling with the other girls in your group, “Wow Y/N, he’s quite the keeper.”

“He just saved me from falling, not death--honestly.” You’d remark, finding this to be blown out of proportion as the girl gang simply laughed at your reluctance to overreact like everyone else was--you just weren’t that type of person.

Now that you knew who he was, the game was definitely on.

He tries to impress you in lots of ways.

Such as with his basketball skills when he’s practicing with his team or during an actual game since you’re cheering for his team.

He’ll literally point to you from a distance every time he makes a shot, leaving you to blush while you’re standing at the side with your cheer team.

With him being quite cocky, he definitely tries to make you laugh.

During school hours, if you’re busy in the halls getting ready for next period, he tries to get your attention from afar--even if it’s from the other end of the hall--with the rest of his guy friends, a smirk on his face as he blows a kiss to you from a distance, leaving you to blush.

Eventually through him trying to impress and talk to you so much, he takes the opportunity to ask you out.

And of course, with you not having feelings for him, you’d say no.

He was expecting that you’d say yes, so getting rejected was really strange to him, but of course, he wasn’t going to give up that easily.

Since he has a major crush on you, he’s going to be insistent about going out with you.

Like, he’s not taking no for an answer.

He’d constantly harass you in the halls or in class about this, saying to stop playing hard to get when you’re making it perfectly clear that you have interest in him at all.

He’ll even pass you notes in class asking about the same thing or try to get your attention in class by whispering your name while everyone is busy and mouth ‘you look hot today’, leaving you to turn around in your seat and frown as this was getting annoying, his arrogance being a turn-off.

With being desperate, Ayato will even go as to steal your cheerleading uniform from your locker and hold it for ransom.

There was one time where you were walking to the girl’s locker room to get ready for cheer practice, which meant changing into your uniform. You were already late due to talking with a teacher after class, so you knew the locker room was empty since it was after school and most students had already gone home, and that your team was already practicing without you.

You went inside and opened your locker to find that the uniform was gone. Instantly, you questioned where it could have gone since you had just washed it yesterday and had placed it in there this morning before school had started, but a familiar, yet annoying voice soon rattled your thoughts.

“Hey babe, looking for this?”

You’d turn to see Ayato walking toward you, the uniform in his hands as a smirk displayed itself on his lips. You literally almost screamed knowing he was in the girl's locker room as this was not a place for him to be, your privacy feeling disturbed.

“Ayato, give it back.” You’d say, trying to take it from him, but he would be quick to hold it up high and out of your reach as you gave your best attempts to jump and grab it.

“Not so fast, sweetheart. You’ll get this back on one condition.”

“Fine.” You’d retort, feeling tired from all your attempts. “What is it?”

“Go out with me.”

“Ayato, how many times am I going to tell you that it’s not going to happen?”

“You can try to deny me all you want, but a girl has never said no to yours truly.”

“Well this one has.” You’d hiss, jumping up high enough this time as you finally grabbed hold of it and yanked it away from him. “I don’t know what it’s gonna take to make you understand that I’m not interested.”

There was an awkward silence between the two of you and you thought he would just leave. You were going to walk away and change, but you noticed he just continued to stand there. Being fed up with this, you’d hiss, “What?”

“You’re already late for practice. You’ll get there a lot faster if you let yours truly help you with your uniform.” He’d grin.

“Get out!” You’d scream, pushing him in the direction of the door.

It took an endless amount of attempts, but he’d eventually get the message that you just weren’t into him.

Once Ayato came to terms with himself and that you had no feelings for him, he basically ignores you at all costs.

For example, if he sees you in the hall, he’ll look or walk away and pretend he doesn’t see you--you’re basically erased to him.

Even if you tried to pull him aside to talk to him to work things out and just be friends, he’d simply brush you aside, hands in his pockets as he’d mutter ‘tch’ before walking away.

“Tch! How can she not like yours truly? . . . . Whatever. It’s her loss. She’ll never find another guy like me.”

Subaru:

Oh my, for him to like someone is quite difficult since he’s not even a fan of himself.

However, there was something captivating about you that caused this vampire’s undead heart to throb.

He hated the fact that he had feelings for you since he doesn’t want to feel weak for anyone, but you made him feel things in ways he couldn’t explain.

Every day at school was the same to him until he saw you. You were new to his school and the teacher introduced you to everyone and this was when he took note of your existence.

Since Subaru is a loner, you really had no idea who he was or that he even existed at first.

Just like everyone else, you would walk right past him in the halls, but it’s not because you were rude, you just didn’t know him and it would be strange to just start talking to someone you didn’t know without a reason.

He on the other hand noticed everything about you--your every movement, the way your smile would gleam, the way your style bewitched him along with how your intelligence astonished him during class discussions.

How you noticed him though was quite the opposite of ordinary.

You were once walking through the crowded halls at school and witnessed a physical fight taking place in the middle of the hall with two male students, Subaru being one of them as everyone huddled around to watch.

You saw the way his fist collided with the other male’s face as he sent him to the ground, several teachers soon arriving as they broke up the fight and sent both of them to the principal’s office.

At that point, you knew who he was and everyone was talking about that fight for weeks. Due to this, you heard rumors about him as well--about how getting in trouble was common for him due to him getting in fights with students in the past and that he was quite brash in general, but you weren’t one to judge.

Now, returning to him having a crush on you.

When in class with you, he will stare at you but will look away quickly since he doesn’t want to take any chances on being noticed by you or anyone else. The last thing he wants is for someone to suspect that he has a crush on you.

You were once assigned to be his partner in class and let’s say he was a nervous wreck about it all.

He was a lot meaner than usual, mostly because it’s a defense mechanism he uses to demonstrate his tough exterior so no one can take advantage or hurt him.

But deep down, we all know that this bby car is a total softy :’)).

Since you both had a project to complete together, you both met up in the library to prepare for it. You were both looking at the textbook to find the information you needed when your hand accidentally brushed against his. He instantly withdrew it, muttered ‘tch’ as he walked away to hide the blush that bloomed on his cheeks. This left you confused, but you decided not to question it since he was quite the enigma.

I’ve cannoned this in the past with @liannelara-dracula that he likes to corner you when you’re alone, especially during break, so he can have a small conversation with you.

He may say something slightly perverted to flirt tho ;)).

Through knowing each other, you like waving to him in the halls as you’re walking to class with your friends, your endearing smile dawning on him quite incandescently.

He’d never wave back at first, always muttering his infamous ‘tch’, and was usually just annoyed by your kindness, but with you not withdrawing your gentle nature, he soon started to grow a bit more comfortable with this.

When he reached this stage, he’s always taken back by you saying hi to him casually like that. He doesn’t really know what to do, a minor blush appearing on his cheeks as he'd slightly, but very awkwardly, lift and wave his hand, quickly looking away from you to avoid eye contact.

Your friends, however, would take note of you saying hi to him and would constantly be asking you as to why since he’s bad news and isn’t very approachable.

“Guys, he’s just misunderstood. It’s not like we really know him and we can’t just judge by what’s on the surface.” You'd say.

He really isn’t the type to just confess due to fear of rejection and his feelings grew more and more as he got to know you.

You really brought a lot of fun and joy to him, something he isn’t too familiar with due to his upbringing, in fact, he even started to smile a little bit each time he saw you.

Even his brothers took notice of his new behavior, a certain fedora-wearing vampire wanting to know more than what was on the surface when they were all riding home together once.

“Fufu~, what’s with the new attitude, Subaru? Why the smile? Is it about a girl?”

“Tch! Shut up!” He’d retort, looking away from all of them as a minor blush appeared on his cheeks, leaving them all to laugh at him.

Later on though, Subaru caught on to the idea of you not liking him back due to seeing you kissing your boyfriend in the halls one day.

He was crushed in all honesty and ended up recoiling back into his old life of being lonesome.

He rarely talks to you now. Since he knows you have someone else, he doesn’t want to bother with getting to know you any further since it would just hurt him more.

He’d also be a lot meaner and irritated than usual. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising if he’d get into more physical fights due to his anger towards this situation.

He hates the idea of you not liking him back . . . but to be honest, he kind of expected it because he thought it was something that was too good to be true.

“It only makes sense that someone like her is already taken . . . . Tch! Like she’d ever date a piece of shit like me.”

Shu:

Considering his childhood trauma, for him to take an interest in someone is quite rare and almost unexpected.

Especially since he believes that if anyone associates themselves with him, they either end up dead or are left in a really bad situation they can’t get out of.

It took him a while to realize his feelings for you. He honestly just kept denying them for the longest time, but he accepted them later on since you were always on his mind.

However, even though he's realized them, bear in mind that he is an ass about his feelings since he always tries to push them away. This is mostly due to his experience with Edgar since it left quite a mark on his childhood.

Anyways, Shu first took notice of you during homeroom--which he actually bothered to attend for once xDD--and noticed you sitting in the far corner writing some things down in your notebook whilst your ears remained attentive to what the teacher was saying, your beauty being captivating to him.

By him not going to class a lot of the time, he wasn’t too familiar with a lot of his classmates. But with you being in homeroom hour, he actually started to attend it a lot more because he found you interesting—the way you focused throughout the period as you listened to instructions and paid no attention to the other boys who sought your attention when the teacher was either too busy teaching or doing something else.

By seeing you a lot in homeroom, he’d notice you in the halls whenever you were either conversing with your friends or going to your locker to grab the stuff you needed for your next class.

The way your hair would whip every time you turned, the sound of your laughter echoing in his ears every time you and your friends joked about something.

It was all so amusing to him, something he wouldn’t typically see.

With you piquing his interest, he wanted to make himself known to you. In other words, he wanted you to talk to him in some way, so he staged an opportunity.

You were running late to class one day. Since it was on the second floor you had to use the stairs, but you soon stopped when you saw someone occupying one of the steps that prevented you from ascending, his figure asleep as you recognized it to be Shu.

You had heard of Shu before due to his family name and because he was so popular with the girls, along with the fact that he always skipped class, but you never paid him much thought since you had your own clique of wholesome friends.

Since you were already running late and that was the only way to get to class, you’d politely approach him and ask him to move, but of course, he didn’t give a response or budge.

You supposed he was in a deep sleep, so you reached out to tap his shoulder, his eyes snapping open as he’d quickly grab your wrist, preventing you from giving him a nudge.

“Huh, touching a man you don’t even know. That’s quite lewd of you.” He’d smirk.

His remark caused you to slightly blush, “That- that’s not- I wasn’t doing anything like that.”

“Huh, surely doesn’t seem like it.”

You grew pretty annoyed as you’d send him a frown. “Look, can you move? I have to get to class. I’m already late and you’re making me get there even later.”

“You being late isn’t my problem. If you wanna pass, just pass.”

You’d sigh taking his suggestion, taking a step forward as you attempted to skip over the step he occupied. As you stepped over, he lifted a leg causing you to trip and land on the landing, pain traveling through your body as you shot him a glare knowing that what he did was on purpose.

“Hey! What the hell?! You did that on purpose, you jerk!”

“You’re imagining things. First you trip and then you wanna blame your clumsiness on me.”

He was so lying, and you knew that for sure. You didn’t just imagine it. You literally saw him do it.

“But you-,” You’d sigh, knowing it was going to be pointless to continue arguing with him, plus, you had a class to get to. “Whatever, I don’t have time for this. I have to get to class.”

As you’d leave, he would make a perverted remark about your skirt, a blush rushing up to your cheeks as you’d walk away and up the next flight of stairs to get to your class.

After class, your friends had asked why you were so late and you had told them about your encounter with Shu. They were in awe at the story and even teased you about it.

With that incident, things only escalated, especially with his endless flirting. He honestly gets a kick out of it.

Since he skips class a lot of the time, if you happen to pass him in the empty halls as you walk to class or elsewhere, he’s going to say something to you for sure.

This can range from him making more perverted remarks about your skirt, or your panties if he’s laying down; even going to the point of teasing you about being perverted when you’re not.

That motha.

He even accuses you of bothering him when he’s the one who started the conversation.

Says that you ‘walk too loud’ and that you’re spoiling his music because of that reason.

You’d grow fed up with this and with being so distraught about it, your friends would be bound to ask what was bothering you. You’d mention why, but they would only find it amusing considering who he is. After all, Shu isn’t really known to give much of his attention to anyone.

“Y’know, if he’s talking to you in the halls for no reason, that says something. He only talks to girls he has an interest in.” One of your friends would say.

“Interested my ass!” You’d retort, rolling your eyes. “He’s such an ass. He’s just some spoiled rich kid that’s probably never worked a day in his life.”

Honestly, Reiji would love you on account of this xDD.

I’ve also cannoned this with @liannelara-dracula that even though he’s lazy, he would take the time to get to know your schedule and show up everywhere you’d typically go.

And then, he’d accuse you of stalking him since you’re always running into him.

Since he’s pretty perceptive, Shu eventually noticed that you didn’t like him through one incident that he took note of in the hall one day. You were walking and you ran into your crush, your heart racing as he stopped to talk and say hi to you. You were pretty good friends with him and he was just the sweetest guy ever. You always felt butterflies in your stomach whenever you were around him and deep down, you hoped that things would change between you two eventually.

To Shu, it was plain as day that you liked someone else. He’s centuries-old and definitely knows how this stuff works, he’s not stupid. Plus, the asshole he was also listening to your heartbeat when you spoke to your crush, making it far more evident to himself that you had an interest in someone else.

By knowing about your crush, he does use it to piss you off. He’ll act like an even bigger ass now because he knows you don’t like him.

“Y’know, it’s never going to happen.” He’d tease, his infamous smirk being evident.

“A girl can dream.” You’d retort. “You seem to do it all day, so why can’t I?”

Based on his fear of someone getting hurt because of being involved with him, he’d never tell you that he liked you.

Is actually pretty accepting of the fact that you don’t like him, and to be honest, he thinks it’s better off this way due to his fear of destroying something he would later on cherish, but yet, he still carries on with being an ass towards you since it amuses him.

“You’re better off without me. Dream all you want about that guy, but I know he’d never satisfy you the way I could.”

[khaotic-kitsunes]

Out on Display

Hey everyone! Cheeky here, so my health has taken a bit of a dive. I planned to write more and be more involved, especially with a new member on the blog but lately I can barely even sit up for more than 5 minutes at a time. To make a long story short, the only time I can write is if my pain meds and my antibiotics are working and somehow aren’t causing me to sleep through the entire day.

So yeah...but, on the plus side, I managed to get this fatgum scenario done! I sincerely apologise for any spelling errors or words that don’t belong. I am on some very strong pain meds and thoughts are hard.

Uh, trigger warning for Agoraphilia.

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Cheeky Kitsune 🦊💋

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“Taishiro, you in here?” You called out Taishiro’s name as you knocked on the door to his office, turning the door handle and peeking inside, a small smile gracing your face when you saw that the love of your life was indeed in his office; scribbling something down with a look of concentration decorating his handsome features.

Apparently, though you had spoken at a reasonable volume, Taishiro hadn’t heard you. Instead, he continued to scribble whatever it was that he was working on as you walked into his office; shutting the door so that his subordinates didn’t see or hear anything that they shouldn’t.

As a Mafia boss, Taishiro was particular about his privacy for most things. Something that you had come to appreciate over the time that you had known him. Private conversations remained just that, because if it didn’t directly involve another person, they didn’t find out about it.

You moved slowly and silently, making your way to Taishiro without disturbing him. It amazed you that you actually managed to get behind his chair without him noticing you, but at the same time, it was concerning.

Whatever Taishiro was working on, it must have been important. It almost made you want to leave him in peace. Almost.

“Guess who” You smiled as you reached around his chair to cover his eyes, giggling to yourself when he groaned tiredly in response; his head leaning back to rest against the chair and allowing you to continue with your mischief despite his obvious workload.

“An angel, in my time of suffering…” Taishiro reached up for your arms slowly, his large calloused hands running over your smooth skin and sending welcomed shivers down your spine. The tender show of affection causing butterflies to stir within your stomach.

Even after being with him for as long as you had, Taishiro still had the ability to leave you a breathless, nervous wreck; just like he did when the two of you first started dating.

“Well, maybe not an angel” You smiled down at him, moving to escape his large, warm hands before finding your place in his lap. Straddling him while your hands moved to cup his cheeks, thumbs rubbing at the dark circles under his eyes while he stared up at you with an exhaustion you hadn’t seen in him before.

“Oh, but my love. To me, you are an angel. My sanity in this nonsense world…” He trailed off as his hands went to your hips, pulling you closer to his overly warm body; his lips dancing over the sensitive skin of your neck while you squirmed beneath his touches. Trying your best not to encourage his attempts at procrastination.

“Taishiro, you’re not going to use me as an excuse today…if you’re busy, I’m gonna have to leave” You gasped out when he bit down on your neck firmly, chewing on the now tender spot while you wiggled in his lap; causing his hips to buck up, the slight bulge in his pants growing larger with each jolt of his hips.

“Come on (Name), I’ve been working hard all day…let me enjoy your company for a little while” Taishiro’s softly spoken words against your skin almost compelled you to give in to his desires, your cheeks burning while you allowed your head to lean to the side; given Taishiro more skin to explore with his mouth.

“It’s never just ‘a little while’ with you Taishiro…” You mumbled out your protest, squirming on top of him before squealing out when he stood up suddenly. His large hands dropping to your arse and keeping you tight against his body while he made his way across the room, towards the window to his office from what you could tell; having thrown a glance over your shoulder in curiosity.

Though you weren’t sure what he wanted over by the window, especially with the curtains covering the glass; giving Taishiro his privacy.

“I just decided something” He paused, one hand moving to open the curtains while the other tightened its hold on you; keeping you pressed snugly against his chest. A quiet moan spilling from your lips from the necessary action.

“D-Decided something? What something? What are you doing Taishiro?!” You squeaked out your questions when his arm snaked around your waist, holding you against him like that instead and allowing his now free hand to slide up your thighs and under your dress; removing your panties before you could fully understand the thoughts that were running through his mind.

“I want to fuck you against the window here (Name), show everyone how good you take my dick” Taishiro pressed a kiss to your forehead as you stared up at him with wide eyes, a mix of horror and curiosity bubbling up within your chest. The idea of it should have put you off, you should have slapped him for thinking such a thing and then slapped him again for trying to enact his thoughts without consulting you first.

But the only thing that ran through your mind, was how much the idea of it appealed to your not-so-innocent self. Taishiro’s gang was huge, their main base of operations, where you currently were, always bustling with activity and you could already hear the busy conversations on the other side of the thin glass that you suddenly found yourself pressed up against. Face first, of course.

Taishiro wanted you to see the people that were going to witness you taking his thick, aching cock that you could feel being pressed up against your folds; rubbing over them and spreading a mix of your newly forming slick and his precum onto them.

You almost felt ashamed over how much you were enjoying this.

 .

“Put your hands against the glass, (Name). Brace yourself.”

 .

Taishiro’s hushed whisper against your ear as he pressed the head of his fat cock against your entrance with more force pulled a needy whine from your lips; wide eyes watching as a few people began to stop and stare at the two of you quizzically. Realisation dawning on them after a couple of seconds each time.

You gulped nervously, moving your hands to the glass to brace yourself while Taishiro nudged a small stepping stool beneath you with his foot; gently lowering you until your feet were on it steadily, allowing his hands to move over your smaller body. Occasionally groping at you until quiet moans began to form in the base of your throat, moans that he could quite clearly hear judging from his chuckle.

“Here…if I’m going to fuck you against the glass, we should give them something to stare at, right?” You frowning in confusion, opening your mouth to question him before gasping out in protest when one of his hands gripped the front of your dress; giving a harsh yank and tearing the front of it off.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if you hadn’t decided against a bra for the day, now having your chest exposed to everyone that stopped to stare at the two of you; dozens of eyes witnessing you crying out Taishiro’s name as he buried himself inside of you.

The force of his hips pushing you forwards into the glass, the cold surface torturous against your sensitive nipples and pulling a quiet whine of complaint from you. Though Taishiro didn’t pay much mind to it, moving his large hands down to your hips so that he could steady you more while he settled into a harsh rhythm with his thrusts; his low groans filling your head.

“T-Taishi…come on…they’re really staring at us…” You whined quietly out of embarrassment, your walls squeezing down on Taishiro’s throbbing cock each time you locked eyes with a different person. Causing the mafia boss behind you to chuckle in amusement, his hand moving to slap against your thigh with a force that made you cry out.

Usually, Taishiro would reserve the rough treatment for when it was just the two of you in his home, for your cries to be his and only his. However, it seemed like he was intent on having his subordinates witness how much you truly loved having him fuck you like a rag doll.

“I know, I can also tell that you love it” He groaned into your ear, tightening his grip on your hips as he pulls them back; giving him the extra force he desired as he moved his hips faster, practically bouncing you on his cock for his own entertainment while you struggled to contain your noises and at least pretend that you weren’t turning into a moaning mess while people continued to stare at the two of you.

Most moving papers, or whatever items they had handy to hide their growing erections. No one daring to be the person to get caught jacking off at work watching their boss fuck his usually smiling and cheery girlfriend.

“I…I don’t…” You bit down on your lip when he put more power behind his thrusts, pressing yourself up against the glass more while he chuckled darkly from behind you; his teeth closing down around your neck, leaving behind bite marks that would surely bruise. Something you had come to expect from the possessive man.

“You do. Don’t lie to me.” He paused, reaching up with one hand to grab your cheeks and turn your head to look back at him, his hot mouth closing around your own in a heated, demanding kiss; purposely stealing your breath away while he continued to fuck you against the glass, his eyes remaining open and glaring at the men watching while yours fluttered shut. Unable to stop yourself from enjoying the searing kiss.

“But it’s okay (Name). I’m not mad, not at all…I want everyone to see how well you take my cock! Because you’re mine, all mine and this is what I get to enjoy whenever I feel like it.” He pulled his head away with a dark grin decorating his lips, thin trails of saliva connecting your mouths the only remaining evidence of the possessive kiss. That and your breathless, dazed expression.

“Now, do me a favour my beautiful angel…and turn your head back to the window. Show my men what they’ll never have, show them who you belong to.” You whimpered softly at his whispered words, turning your head back towards the glass and resting your forehead against the cool surface; allowing Taishiro to continue fucking you as he pleased. His thrusts only growing harsher and faster as he lost himself in your body, large hands roaming your small form while you constantly rocked up against the glass.

The entire building heard as you screamed out Taishiro’s name over and over again, one of his hands dipping below your audiences’ sight to tease and rub at your clit until you were a complete mess. After that, it only took a few more moments before you were crying out in unashamed bliss; allowing Taishiro to press you into the glass further. His hips moving hard to encourage his own, nearing orgasm while you rode out your own.

You could hear everyone chatting on the other side of the glass. About how well you were taking their boss, how good you looked fucked out of your mind. All things you never knew you wanted to hear from anyone other than Taishiro.

And those were the very things that, combined with his Taishiro’s powerful thrusts and merciless attack on your clit with his fingers, sent you over the edge yet again. Your body too sensitive and over-pleasured to stop the second, stronger orgasm that made you scream soundlessly; mind going blank from pure bliss.

You barely noticed as Taishiro’s hips stopped moving. His hot, thick seed spilling deep into you and sending shivers along your spine; his low groan the thing to drag you back to your senses. Your eyes going wide when you realised that everyone was still staring at the two of you, some being stupid enough to palm themselves through their pants while watching you both.

“That’s my girl” Taishiro hummed from behind you, kissing the back of your head while reaching for the curtains. Though it was a little late for that, given how much everyone had seen of the both of you just then.

“Now, be a good girl and come clean my cock for me. It’s been a while since I got to enjoy the feel of your pretty little mouth wrapped around me” Taishiro slowly removed himself from your trembling body, lifting you against his chest with his free arm while closing the curtains so that the two of you had the privacy that you now craved.

“You can be a real jerk sometimes…” You whispered out the words in a huff, allowing him to carry you over to his desk while he chuckled above you, trailing a series of kisses along your neck and running his fingers through your hair in an attempt to soothe your embarrassed form.

“Well, you didn’t use our safe word…or tell me to stop. Was I wrong? Didn’t you enjoy it?” Taishiro moved to sit in his chair once again, releasing you from his hold while you slid your way down to the ground; wrapping a hand around the base of his semi-hard cock, trailing your tongue along the underside of it and tasting the mix of your shared juices.

“…No, I did…but next time, maybe give me a little time to mentally prepare for it?” You stared up at him as he moved his hand to cradle the back of your head, giving a slow nod in response to your request; his entire body relaxing the moment you assured him that he hadn’t overstepped any boundaries with you.

It had been a new experience, but then again, most times when Taishiro fucked you, they were new. He liked to explore new ways of enjoying your body and so long as they didn’t upset you, he would continue to do so whenever he got the chance.

“You must have looked amazing against the glass…I’ll have to remember to check the footage later” Taishiro chuckled at the wide-eyed stare you gave him after he spoke, his smile stretching into a wide grin.

“Don’t worry! Private camera, our eyes only my love. I wanted you to see how you looked too, if you were up for it.” You nodded slowly in response to his explanation, eyes now narrowed in suspicion while you began to take him into your mouth; enjoying the sound of his low groan, accompanied by a string of near-silent curses.

“Why?” You asked the question after lifting your head, stroking the base of his cock lazily with one hand; not wanting to rush him into a painful erection that would have him either fuck you again, or throat-fuck you. You needed a few minutes to recuperate from the double orgasm he had given you against the glass. As any woman would.

“Oh, because I wanted to try fucking you later while we watch it! I’ll have you sitting in my lap with my cock inside you…I won’t be hard at first, but you’re going to feel it as the sight of you getting fucked against the glass, watched by a roomful of men gets me hard.” Your mouth dropped open at his easily spoken words, your cheeks practically on fire out of pure embarrassment at the suggestion, not having expected such an answer from the currently grinning mafia boss above you.

 .

“Sounds fun, right (Name)?”

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~

Part III

© sailorhyunjinz 2021; Rights Reserved

All picture rights to their respective owners.

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!Hyunjin x fem!model!reader, manager!Bangchan, stylist!Jisung, agedup!straykids, SMUT, fluff, character driven story, stranger to lovers, summer!au, soft!dom hyunjin x fem!reader, PIV, penetrative sex, protected sex (wow first time writing that, good on ya cher) sexual photos/pictures taken during sex, semi-public sex, orgasm (m/f), cum, fingering, blowjob, light choking, praise kink, handkink??

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 5.4 k

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: am so creative with the office numbers? right? tell me im creative LMAO

oh god this was a fucking pain in the ass to read through i cringed at every sentence so hopefully my pain will be your pleasure

Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST

ONE｜TWO｜THREE

Unlike any other day you couldn’t get out of bed. A boulder of nervousness plaguing you. Through the cracks of the blinds the sun shined in, small particles of dust floating around your resting figure. You were wide awake yet you felt asleep, your thoughts consuming your mind as the dimly lit room became brighter as time ticked on.

You were thinking, perhaps overthinking. This whole situation with Hyunjin seemed confusing and happened way to fast, your psyche not having a moment to digest the events that unfolded during the last couple of days.

Love was a feeling you were familiar with. You knew how it felt. Those butterflies in ones stomach, fluttering everytime a thought of the person passes through your ones.

You felt the same feeling everytime you thought of Hyunjin.

How his soft lips would feel against your cheek that was hot from just looking at his beauty. How his blond hair falls in his face everytime he puts it into a ponytail, his silver decorated fingers tucking the stray pieces behind his pierced ear. These thoughts alone would make your heart beat faster than ever, you eyes clouding with lust even if you knew that this relationship would be impossible given the status the both of you have in this judging industry.

Pushing the covers aside, you sat up before slowly stepping out, your feet hitting the cold flooring of the apartment. You stretched your arms upwards, feeling your spine extend as you squinted, a ray of sunshine hitting you right in the eyes.

The boulder in your chest didn’t feel any lighter but you still got up, wanting time to fly by fast just so you could see his face once again.

♡

No amount of mindfulness exercises could calm the churning of your stomach. The clock in your living room ticked as you watched it with careful eyes, waiting for the time to hit precisely half past before you got up from the couch and shuffled over to the wardrobe, only being stopped from a pling on your phone.

[Bangchan] y/n! can you come by in about an hour? need to discuss some concept photos, sorry for such short notice ❤️

That’s when it hit you. Bangchan didn’t know anything about this. He didn’t know that you’d seen the photos from the shoot and most importantly that you went on a date with the photographer. You could only describe the feeling as ‘improper’. Bangchan was after all one of the closest people in your life, he made you to who you are today and lying to him felt wrong but you shielded your eyes from the truth as you typed back.

[y/n] soz, got plans

[Bangchan] I don’t see any other meeting scheduled for today?

[y/n] you do know that I have a life outside of work? take the day off Chan, you could use some rest ❤️

[Bangchan] Don’t worry about me! You have fun alright?

[y/n] alright, see you next week then ^^

You clicked on the off button on your phone, making the text messages disappear. Getting paranoid, you plopped down on the couch, thinking about every possible way you could get caught which you’d already been, photos of you and Hyunjin circulating throughout social media but they mustn’t have reached Bangchan just yet. You felt like digging a hole underground, wanting to hide away from all these thoughts. The main thought in your mind was whether or not you understood Hyunjin’s intentions. 

What if this love was one sided? 

Waveing your hand in the air, you attempted to get the mind out of your head as if you were breaking up a cloud of real thoughts. You glanced up at the clock and only then realised that you were running late, as usual.

“Wear whatever you want”

Was what Hyunjin said last time but that didn’t make it easier to choose an outfit. Standing infront of multiple racks of clothing you pulled up the weather application on your phone. “Sunny” you mumbled, making you gravitate towards a beige croptop with white stripes around the neckline as well as a white tennis skirt. Not too dressed up but not too dressed down either, just right. Clothes were flying everywhere when you searched for a pair of white socks to pair with your white high platform sneakers. You put the outfit on, observing yourself in the mirror and smiling, trying to get yourself in a better mood rather than being a nervous wreck. Pulling up your phone, you snapped a picture and sent it to the person who knew best about fashion. Jisung.

[y/n] Sungie! Is this acceptable for a impromptu photoshoot?

The fashionable boy replied minutes later.

[Jisung] oh!! that’s so cute! very much acceptable in my book 🥺

You smiled at his reply

[y/n] phew! good... 

[Jisung] is it a date?

Your fingers froze above the keyboard on the phone. Was it that noticeable? Was this really a date? 

[y/n] no!!!

[Jisung] you sure, i saw those photos on social media. ahh.. y/n dating famous photographers now...

By this point you were sweating bullets. 

[y/n] first of all, i’m not meeting him and second of all, he’s a friend so shut it. 

[Jisung] hahah alright alright... i won’t tell Bangchan

[y/n] you have nothing to tell!! we’re friends just like you and I so be quiet otherwise i’ll come over there with balloons, popping them in your face.

[Jisung] oh wow... im so scared...

[y/n] need to leave, if i hear something about you spreading some rumors i’ll seriously do it.

[Jisung] Photo Attachment.

The photo that popped up was from yesterday and your breath hitched. You couldn’t help but to notice the way Hyunjin was looking at you, his eyes filled what seemed like adoration. 

[Jisung] yeah because that totally doesn’t look like a date

[y/n] DON’T TELL BANGCHAN PLEASE

[Jisung] oh so it is a date? alright, i won’t! have fun and be safe

[y/n] be safe? we’re taking pictures, not drag racing

[Jisung] hahah stop playing innocent

Your eyes widened in realisation.

[y/n] you crazy fucker

[y/n] I WILL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE WARDROBE IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP I DON’T SLEEP ON THE FIRST DATE

[Jisung] Whatever you say

Thanks to Jisung you were now running dangerously late leading to you snatching objects from all corners of the apartment before ordering a cab that would arrive in minutes.

♡

“We’ve arrived, miss” the cab driver says, smiling at you through the rear-view mirror. You thank him and step out of the yellow car, a smell of car exhaust hitting your nose. The cab drives away, leaving nothing but a small cloud of smoke. You looked up, almost not seeing the tip of the building as the skyscraper towered over you. You’re beside the busy road, mouth agape. You’d walked by a couple of times but knowing that you knew the person that owned at least a bit of the building made you giddy. 

You walked in and was greeted by a grand lobby, a front desk as big as the wall behind it. The entire place was filled with people, everyone from business men in suits to trainee models in the most flamboyant outfits. Fishnet stockings, heavy chains and distressed jeans that consisted of more air then jeans material. The sun shined through the many glass panes that made up most of the ceiling and the slight breeze of the air conditioner made this whole vibe of the building comforting. 

“Hi! y/n y/l/n, meeting Hwang Hyunjin” you say to the receptionist that was a relatively old woman, probably in her early 60′s. She was wearing a white button down shirt with her hair in a high bun, a couple of gray strands sticking out. Her red painted mouth contorted into a smile. 

“y/n, Hyunjin said that you could make your way to his office without the guards. You must be a close friend” 

You smiled shyly with your warm cheeks, looking at either side of the desk where two tall buff men were standing, wearing walkie talkies on their black vests. With a small nod, you started speaking. 

“W-where exactly is his office?”

“Floor 20, his main office is in room 03″

“Thank you!” 

You quickly shuffled over to the elevators, pushing the button that lit up with orange light emitting. 

PLING

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped inside, a couple of office workers joining you and pressing the necessary buttons to make the elevator lift off. 

You step out at the 20th floor, looking around at all the intricate wall design, everything inspired by ancient greece which explains the broken vases that were scattered across the hallway in the most unconventional places. They were all encapsulated with glass and standing on tall white pillars, the vases looking rather sad, being in a spectra of ashy grey colors, every single one of them falling apart. 

Stopping, you observed this one vase that caught your attention. It had swirly details around the edge and was shattered in a rather beautiful way. It made you think how even the most broken pieces still carry beauty, beauty unique to only oneself. 

“It’s pretty right?”

The voice sounded familiar and warm, almost as if it had anticipated your arrival. 

“y-yeah, it really is” 

You say turning around, nearly jumping up on the wall when seeing the figure that looked back at you. It was Hyunjin.

Yet again, his presence was astonishing. Everytime you met him it felt as if you’d met him for the first time. The blond boy was standing tall in front of you, wearing a black hoodie, black basketball shorts and a matching headband. A backpack was thrown across his one shoulder and a smaller camera around his neck, everything about his appearence looking completely different from the last time you saw him, his style usually more sophisticated. 

“On your way to meet me, yeah?” he asked and you nodded shyly. 

“My office is the other way, you know?”

You lifted your gaze to look at the tiny sign on the wall that pointed in two directions, you were walking down the hallway for offices 20-40 by accident and you smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of your head. 

“I didn’t know heh...” 

“It’s alright! Come with me, I was on my way to the studio”

“What room is that? Your office?”

“No, the room next to my office, come! I’ll show you!”

He grabbed your hand and you felt your body stiffen as he dragged you down the hallway, his hand not being decorated with statement rings this time, instead feeling soft and warm. You blanked out, your legs walking by themselves. 

He stopped at a brown door, a tiny gold sign saying « 04 » and beside it a transparent sign stating that this was a photography studio. Hyunjin opened the door and dragged you in, closing the door behind you.

A cold wind hit your warm body, the air conditioner blasting it’s breeze with a faint sound. The room was wide, one wall being made completely out of glass, stand close enough and you could peer down the bustling city filled with people, cars and buildings. The typical photoshoot setup was already in place, the camera being propped up infront of a white backdrop, a white pilar in the middle and two boxlights standing unlit behind the camera. In the corner stood a vintage brown leather couch, the swirly metal details were concealed with a layer of chipped gold paint. Beside the couch stood a simple white table. A black bucket rested on the floor and upon closer inspection you noticed plants, multiple stems of eucalyptus poking out, wrapped in cellophane.

“What are these for?” 

You sat down on your knees infront of the bucket while Hyunjin was pressing buttons on the camera that was screwed onto the tripod before walking over to the table and placing down the camera he had around his neck, his backpack lying lazily on the floor. He looked at your crouching figure, the corners of his lips going upwards.

“I thought they’d suit you”

You held in one of the stems, turning your head and looking at his shy smile, his dimples sitting playfully on the sides of his cheeks. You giggle, standing up and leaning against the white pillar, holding the plant in your both hands. 

“Do they?”

Hyunjin walked towards the steadied camera, bending down and peeking through the lens.

“They do”

click

Your eyes widen, him snapping a picture without you paying attention.

“Hey! I wasn’t even prepared!” you chuckle, pointing at the blonde boy with the long plant that was dripping at the stem. 

“Nature is a bit more beautiful when caught off guard, don’t you think?” Hyunjin says, his honey-like voice, echoing through the room.

You nod, staring down at the leafs of the plant, rubbing them between your thumb and pointer finger. 

click

click 

click

“Try leaning with your butt against the pillar and with one foot fully on the side of the pillar”

You did as he told, the pillar being surprisingly stable.

“Tilt your head and look down to the right”

Once again, you follow his instruction and he hums in satisfaction before pushing the button on the camera twice.

click

click

Your warm face turned into a smile, laughing loudly from embarrassment when he observed the pictures on his display. He snickers quietly from shyness, a faint blush brushing across his features as his brown eyes were glued to the screen. Hyunjin peeks up from the camera, seeing you looking down at the backdrop that was filled with ashy grey shoeprints. 

The sound of his footsteps got closer until you saw them in your periferal view causing you to look up at his tentative face. He smiles, displaying his pearly white teeth and crescent shaped eyes before stretching his hand out, feather light fingertips grazing your hot cheek as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, your dainty gold earrings now visible. Hyunjin’s hand lingers on your jaw as he looks at you with a gleam in his eyes, you gulping loudly as your gaze lowers to his pouty pink lips. Leaning forward, Hyunjin tilts his head, attaching his lips onto yours, your heart skipping a beat from the comforting feeling of having him close to you. 

You drop the fragile twig on the floor, kissing him back by pursing your lips and tilting your head as well. The romantic tension that has been bubbling on the surface everytime you met had finally subsided, now the air overflowed sexual tension. 

Cupping his blushed cheeks, you deepen the kiss my licking his plump bottom lip, coaxing his tongue that eventually slipped into your mouth. His hands were firmly planted on your waist, pulling you closer to his body that radiated heat in the already scorching summer weather. 

The two tongues danced around in a impatient manner, the two of you dreaming of this moment since meeting. Hyunjin’s hands roamed over all the valleys of your body, placing his hands on the bottom of your butt, pulling you even closer, close enough to feel his semi-erection against your abdomen. Your eyes spring open in realisation, your body melting in his arms as you felt the effects of the deep kiss, the effects being you unable to control the wet patch that was forming on your underwear, nothing but the thin fabric seperating it from the air due to you wearing a skirt. 

Pulling away from the kiss, your hot breath and a line of saliva was the only thing that seperated you and Hyunjin. You shielded your face from his twinkling eyes, you glancing at the blonde boy through the gaps between your fingers. His two hands grip your wrists, pulling your hands down as he smiles widely

“Don’t hide that pretty face”

Hyunjin giggles, your chuckles following shortly after. The boy grips your wrist tightly, walking backwards as he looks intensely into your eyes, his back falling against the couch as you sit down on the couch on your knees, he looks at you for a moment before attaching his lips again, pushing you down and hovering above you. The wet sounds of the sloppy kiss fills your ear, you helplessly rubbed your thighs together in anticipation. His fingertips trailed down your chest, tracing small circles on the inside of your thigh before plunging down under your skirt, grazing the wet spot on your underwear. The both of you smile into the kiss. 

“Can I?” Hyunjin says, momentarily pulling away from your sweet lips and tugging on the edge of your panties. You nod shyly, not believing that this is happening. 

His lanky fingers run up and down your wet folds as you put your hand at the back of his neck, pulling his blushing face closer to yours and pursing your lips to kiss him sensually. Hyunjin’s fingers gently brush up against your clit that was swollen from excitement, sending shivers down your spine. 

You knew this was wrong, the door wasn’t even locked meaning that anyone could walk in at any moment but the way lips felt on yours made a thousand fireworks ignite, sparking from your chest. Wrapping your hand around his wide wrist, you guide his fingers down to your sopping entrace, your entire body craving him inside of you.

Hyunjin places once last peck on your soft lips before looking at you with concern, asking for permission with his fluffy brown eyes. You nod, your eyelashes gently fluttering over your eyes. His middle finger slips into you with ease, shortly followed by a second finger from seeing how good your cunt swallowed his digits, your essence coating them. A faint gasp escapes your lips as his fingers felt around your velvety walls, the whole situation still feeling like a dream. 

“D-does it feel good?” 

“mhm!” you hum, nodding your head as your grasp around his wrist tightens everytime he curls his fingers upwards. Small whimpers came from you as his fingers started pumping in and out, the blond boy chuckling at your reaction. 

“Did you think I was innocent?” 

The question lingers in the air as you look at him in the eyes.

“Y-yes,,,” just as the question you let the answer hang in the air as Hyunjin hummed, being knuckles deep into you and curling his fingers upwards once more, making you choke on your own moan. Hyunjin nodded slowly, glancing down at your body as he thought.

“It’s because,,, because you’re shy,, different from the others.” You added quickly, filling the silence that was soon interupted by your whimpers as the so called ‘innocent boy’ started circling your sensitive bud with his thumb. 

“I think you’re different from the others, you make me like this baby”

Hyunjin said, seconds later crashing his lips against yours, his tongue attacking yours. He retracted his fingers, the tips coated in your juices and glistening in the sunlight. You whined inbetween kisses, the feeling of being empty leaving you disappointed. Hyunjin’s veiny hands trailed up your stomach, pulling the croptop up and resting it just above your boobs, your white bra exposed. 

Hyunjin pulled away from the kiss, the both of you breathless as the kisses you exchanged were anything but light. His two damp fingers made their way to his mouth, licking them with a slight smirk on his lips. You could go crazy from the sight alone, his big brown eyes turning blank with lust. Not being able to control yourself any longer, you sat up on your knees and pulled off the top, unclasping your bra while you’re at it. As the fabric hit the floor, Hyunjin’s eyes darted to your bare tits, the wind from the air conditioner stiffening your two sensitive buds. You looked at him with a jumbled expression, him staring at your nipples for what seemed like an eternity. You hummed softly, causing him to snap back into reality, the blond boy pulling the black hoodie up from his head, displaying the defined muscles on his abdomen. You wanted him, you wanted him so bad. 

Your knees hit the floor with a thump as looked up at Hyunjin, knealing between his two legs and watching the tent in his loose shorts grow. 

“Do you really want to do this,, y/n,, you don’t have t-”

You hushed before speaking.

“Don’t worry, Hyunjin” you say with a stern voice making Hyunjin shiver, not knowing if it’s from your tone of voice or the way his name rolled of your tongue.

The blonde boy grabbed the small camera that was resting on the table, you looked up at him with confusion before smiling at his pleading eyes that met yours. You nodded, knowing exactly what he wanted to do and giving him permission since you never knew if he’d get to see you like this ever again. 

You hook your two hands on the sides of his shorts and underwear, pulling the fabric down as Hyunjin awkwardly lifts his hips up from the couch for a moment, allowing you to slide the both garments down in one nimble motion. His veiny length sprung out, the tip hitting his abdomen for a moment before resting infront of your eyes, a bead of precum already leaking from his delicate slit. You gulp, the task of sucking him off suddenly seeming daunting. Hyunjin must have noticed since his face turned concerned, a half smile flashing across his lips. 

“y/n,, you don’t have to-aghh!”

Hyunjin was cut of by his own breathy moan, your pursed lips wrapping around his leaking tip, licking small kitten licks before sinking deeper down his impressive length. Hyunjin’s blonde hair fell out of his face when his head rolled back in pleasure, resting it against the back of the rustic couch. 

“f-fuck y/n,,, just- just like that”

He hummed out, his sweet voice intoxicated with desire. Your tongue swirled around his pretty red tip, simultaneously stroking the part doesn’t fit inside of your wet mouth. Multiple shutters of the camera was heard, his hand barely stable enough to hold it due to the pleasure that was shooting through his core. It didn’t take long before his dick twitched against you lips, your cheeks hollowed as bob up and down his girth. His eyes rolled back into his skull as his hand went down to cup your cheek, your eyes stinging with tears as you choked around him. Pulling off with a pop, his dick glimmered as a heavy layer of saliva rested on it, his already warm body turning hotter. He looks down at you, a smug half-smile errupting on his lips as he continued to stroke your cheek, his thumb grazing your cheekbone as he flicked through the photos on his camera, the half-smile now a full on expression of happiness. The two of you sat like that for a while, the silence engulfing the room as you observed his indescribable features. His sharp jawline contrasted with his soft skin that had a dust of rose pink across the cheeks, his moles adding to his charm. 

“Fuck me, Hyunjin”

The words slipped out of your mouth, his brown shiny eyes widening before being overtaken by a blank gaze, placing the silver camera back on the tiny table. 

“You thought I would stop here?”

Now it was your turn to be flustered, his sugary sweet voice interlaced with the cocky words making you even wetter then before, if that’s even possible. Without answering, he pulled you up to the couch by your hand and laying you down before realising what he forgot. The blond boy reached for the baggy backpack laying on the white floor, unzipping the front pocket and fishing out a condom. You nodded shyly, feeling your hands getting sweatier from nervousness, not really sure where to put them. Hyunjin noticed your gaze that was running all over the room, your body slightly tense. The boy snickered, ripping the shiny wrapping open with his hands where veins had started to become apparent. 

“Something wrong?” He asks shyly, placing the condom on his leaking tip before rolling the rubber onto his length. You shake your head.

“J-just thinking,,,” you say, your voice fading out at the end. 

“About?” His voice inhibiting a questionable tone as he holds himself up above you, his elbows on either side of your head. 

“A-about,,, you” 

That was a lie. You thought about how this would end up being disclosed to your company and your friends, Felix would snap your head if he found out that you slept with Hyunjin. Did it even have to be disclosed? Couldn’t it just be a secret between you and Hyunjin? As much as you wish that it could, it simply couldn’t. Not working in this industry. 

Hyunjin smiled softly, his hand trailing down the curves of your body before lifting up the fabric of your skirt, his fingers pushing your panties aside and feeling your throbbing pussy once again. His caramel eyes looked into you the entire time. 

Lifting himself up, he positioned the tip of his member at your sopping entrance, you chuckling softly as he gripped your hips but your chuckle was quickly replaced by a loud gasp, his dick stretching out your tight pussy better than you thought. 

“Are you ok, y/n?” 

He said softly, his dick not even halfway in but already jerking from your welcomingly wet and warm cunt wrapping around his crimson tip. You nodded, looking up at him. 

“Pl-please,, keep going Hyunjin”

The blonde boy blushed, his ears turning red. Tightening the grip on your hips he fully entered you, you shutting your eyes tightly from the slightly painful but pleasurable experience. Glancing down at you, he had to use every bit of discipline to not pound into you. In his eyes you looked angelic. Your parted lips that we’re coated by saliva and the way your skirt bunched up around your waist made it feel like torture to be inside of you, not moving to let you adjust to his size. 

“C-can I move?” He asks impatiently to which you smile, nodding and wrapping your legs around him, pulling him closer to your warm body. Your breath hitched as he softly wraps his hand around your neck, him thinking he’d gone too far.

“I-im sorry! I-” 

You hush him, placing your index finger over his plush pink lips. 

“I’ll tell you if anything doesn’t feel good, alright?” You so desperatly wanted to place a “baby” at the end of the sentence, that nickname fitted him but being to scared to confess your feelings. Just because he wants you doesnt mean he loves you. Hyunjin nodded like an excited puppy, finally getting the permission of moving and feeling your clenched walls around his length, his one hand still wrapped around your throat. 

His thrusts were slow, filled with passion which only worsened your longing for him, the longing of him being yours. Small whimpers dripped from between your parted lips, the moans being mixed with Hyunjin’s low grunts and sounding like a melody. You peeked up at the model-like boy, his expression being synonymous to pleasure. The movements eventually quickened, his long cock hitting your cervix with every thrust, making you put your hands behind his back, your fingernails digging into his soft honey skin. His previously closed eyes fluttered open, watching you with a soft gaze through his fierce eyes. You smiled and he smiled back before his gaze drifted away from yours.

“Y-you feel so good y-y/n,,, you’re an angel”

Chuckling and moaning at the same time, his praise gave you a sense of security but also a sense of lust, wanting to coax out even more dangerously sweet words from his pretty mouth. 

“Go faster,,, Hyunjin”

You gasped out, the pleasure starting to pick up it’s pace. The sound of skin slapping against each other bounced off the white walls in the big studio, the old sofa creaking ever so often from the blond boys powerful thrusts. Hyunjin would never get tired of hearing you say his name, never. 

The knot in your stomach signaled your impending orgasm as your walls were stretched out. You pleaded him to not stop, your voice sounding frail as you neared your sweet release. The hot tempeture wasn’t helping the situation, sweat beading underneath Hyunjins headband, soaking the two strands of blonde locks that hanged infront of his face. 

“F-fuck,, y/n you’re so pretty with my hands wrapped around your throat, fuck-” 

A loud groan escaped his lips, the pleasure of your wet pussy against his rock-hard length getting too much, Hyunjin having to hold back until you came, not wanting to appear selfish. It wasn’t long until you felt your legs shaking around him, your toes curling as the squeaky sound from the couch increased along with the speed of Hyunjin’s thrusts, the rubber not giving him as much intimacy as he would have liked but the visual of you lying beneath him, squirming away from bliss and softly moaning made up for it. 

“I think- i think I’m cumming, s-shit Hyunjin, I’m cumming”

The words spilled from you, quickly followed by a incoherent mumbling of his name before a wave of hot flashed through your entire body, your walls clenching around him as your erotic juices coated his twitching cock. You held your hands against your face that was lightly coated with sweat but before you could come down from your high Hyunjin pinned your hands above your head by your wrists, him letting out a growl before his cum filled the tip of the condom. The both of you rode out your powerful orgasm, your moans softening as the intense feeling subsided, Hyunjin shivering with his last thrust before pulling out. 

The light sound of the air conditioner was now accompanied with heavy panting, your chest heaving as Hyunjin softly pulled down your skirt and ran his hand through his blonde hair, pushing the stray hairs away before rolling off the cumfilled condom and throwing it on the floor, the rubber landing on the dark clothing that were pooling next to the leather couch. The young boy lays down beside you, your eyes fixed on the ceiling as you faded away in a million thoughts, still trying to process what just happened. You turned your head against his, feeling his lingering gaze on your face and you swore you could hear your heart beat in your ears as his cheekbones lifted, his now cherry red lips turning into a soft smile. 

“Do you like me?” 

You choked on your own saliva, coughing and sitting up in panic making Hyunjin worry, him patting you on the back as he sat up next to you. 

“I-im sorry,, I shouldn’t have- y/n,, so-sorry”

He mutters out as you start laughing, he looking confused at your chuckling figure. 

“T-that’s,,, quite the direct question” you say, clearing your throat before continuing. “I don’t know Hyunjin. You know that this isn’t possible”

You saw his previously twinkling eyes turn blank, his heart sinking. 

“Uhm,,, n-no totally not,,, I just said it to-”

He tried to play cool, brushing off the fact that he didn’t get the answer he so longed for. His gaze turning away from your angelic face.

“But I like you”

You spoke quietly, your voice cracking at the end. Hyunjin turned back to you.

“Why wouldn’t it work then?” he asked with a confused voice. You sighed

“Hyunjin, do you not know who you are? We fucked in a building where you own half of the rights, you work with famous people and your work is in every magazine, don’t you understand?”

He stayed silent for a while, comtemplating on what to say before grabbing your clammy hand. 

“Do you only see me for my career?”

You shake your head, trying to catch eye contact with the blonde boy but failing as he stares down at your small hand in his grasp. 

“Hyunjin, I love you but this feels way to quick,,, I can’t just-”

“I’ve known about you for a while, y/n. Do you know why we even worked together in the first place?” 

Hyunjin speaks calmly, a thin string of sadness threading through his voice. You shake your head, looking at him but he looking away.

“I reached out to Bangchan first”

You weren’t surprised, only confused. What did he see in you? 

“I know it might seem,, rushed! But if- if we both like each other then we can make it work. Please don’t worry about our reputations, you are more than your career y/n even if it means the world to you.”

Hyunjin hesitated finishing his sentence, feeling sick to his stomach from the fear of rejection. You withdrew your hand, instead opening your arms and hugging him to which he smiled and hugged you back, the both of you falling back on the couch facing each other. 

“I think I love you,,, like,,, I really love you”

Hyunjin brushed away a strand of hair from your face, his tender eyes meeting yours. 

“And I love you too, y/n”

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@vogueinnie​ @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette​ @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo @fleeingreality​​​​​​​ @nycol-ie @jisungsplatforms @p0t4t0don14ll @skzstanlol

[honeypiehotchner]

coming out -- Hotch’s Daughter!Reader headcanon

Just a lil thing I wrote to comfort myself because sometimes I wonder a little too much about how different I’d be if I had a better coming out experience a.k.a. if Aaron Hotchner was my dad he would’ve been a lot nicer to me

(Also it’s in hc format because I am too exhausted to write a full blown fic right now, love y’all though xx.)

Summary: Hotch adopted you when you were 17 and he’s been nothing but the best Dad anyone could ask for. You’re 19 now and a freshman in college, and you have something important to tell him. Thanksgiving break is coming up soon and...you invited your girlfriend to spend the week with you.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, one mention of being too anxious to eat

you’d be a nervous fucking wreck

who wouldn’t be, though?

even when you know the person is supportive, you’re still nervous. when you came out to your best friend, you were trembling like crazy, even though she’s never once been anything but supportive of the lgbtq+ community

all that aside, your dad is different

he’s pretty closed off at times, but you expected that when he adopted you

he’s a single dad, raising a young son, and for some reason decided to add you, a seventeen year old girl into the mix

you’re nineteen now, and in your freshman year of college, which means you’ve gone through a lot of self-exploration

and in the short period that you’ve been on your own, you’ve realized something

you like girls. like a lot. like, so much so that you have a girlfriend, and you’ve been dating her for seven months now

and you invited her home for thanksgiving

in your defense, she has nowhere else to go, because her family is from out of the country, and they don’t celebrate thanksgiving

you want her to experience the holiday for the first time, and when she mentioned wanting to spend it with someone she loves, you blurted out the offer

the only problem is, your dad has no idea she’s coming home with you

thanksgiving break starts in two days

on a last minute, impulsive, “if i don’t tell him right now i will throw up everywhere” decision, you drove to your dad’s office

the BAU is only a thirty minute drive from your dorm, so you visit your dad every other week or so

it’s a Wednesday and it’s barely 2pm, so you know he’ll be there

but he doesn’t expect you at all

he’s in the middle of a phone call when you knock on his office door, and his facial expression is more than shocked when he sees its you standing there

you stretch out on the couch like you’ve done countless times when you didn’t want to be alone at home and Jack was off with friends

Hotch can tell something is eating you, so he tries to hurry the phone call along as quick as he can, and soon he’s hanging up

“hey you,” he says, standing and rounding the desk to give you a hug

you gladly accept it, wrapping your arms around his middle

you never really used to like hugs, but his have always made you feel safe

that and Jack loves hugs, so you kind of had to get used to them with him being your little brother

“surprise,” you chuckle nervously

having a profiler for a dad means that absolutely nothing gets past him, but he’s done his best since adopting you to not push subjects that you don’t want pushed

but occasionally, when he can see how badly something is hurting you to keep inside, he breaks that rule

just like he does today

“what’s going on?” he asks, sitting in one of the chairs across from the couch, letting you stretch back out

“well,” you pause to clear your throat, “you know how thanksgiving is next week?”

“yes,” he nods. “you’re on break, right?”

“mhm,” you confirm. “all week.”

“Jack will like having you back home all the time.”

“i’ll like getting to spend more time with him,” you smile, having forgotten about that. Hotch will still be working up until Wednesday, and then will probably be back Friday, but you and Jack can fill the other days easily, especially since it’s been a while

“was that all?” Hotch asks, knowing it wasn’t

“well,” you say again; it’s your nervous tell. “how would you feel if i...invited someone over?”

“like a friend?” he asks, and you nod hesitantly. “i don’t see why not.”

“okay,” you exhale. that was easy enough, but it wasn’t the truth. not completely. “what if it’s a girl?”

Hotch chuckles quietly. “it can be a girl, a boy, or anyone. i don’t mind. as long as they don’t mind an air mattress to sleep on and a little brother running around.”

“what if...what if she slept in my bed? with me.”

silence.

but then he smiles. “that’s okay too.”

“you’re not mad?” you ask.

“why would i be mad?” he asks seriously. “is she your girlfriend?”

“...yes.”

“for how long?”

“seven months,” you blurt. “and is it okay if she’s here all week? her family is from out of the country, so she can’t exactly go anywhere else, and i panicked because i love her and i invited her--”

“it’s okay, Y/N, slow down,” he says softly. “yes, she can stay the whole week.”

“thank you,” you murmur, chewing on your lower lip, and stopping when you see your dad tap his own lip

it’s a small thing he’s done for you since he adopted you. if you’re chewing your lips or cheeks, he quietly taps his

“you’re not mad or...weirded out or anything?”

“not at all,” he says. “truthfully, i’m surprised it took you this long to tell me. i knew you were seeing someone.”

“what?!” you gasp. “how could you even tell?”

“the tone of your voice,” he confesses. “i could tell when she would be there, but i didn’t know who and i didn’t want to bring it up. you don’t have to tell me everything and i knew you’d tell me whenever you were ready. but i knew someone was making you happier.”

“well,” you half laugh, half scoff. “i can’t believe you. but i don’t know why i’m surprised-- hang on, did you already know i was gay?”

he shrugs. “i had my suspicions, but again, i knew you would tell me when you were ready -- if there was anything you wanted to tell.”

“oh my god,” you cover your face with your hands. leave it to your dad to make such a nerve-wracking situation become classically embarrassing. “are you kidding me? i swear to god.”

“on an unrelated note,” he laughs, “would you like to go out to dinner with her tonight?”

you furrow your eyebrows, lowering your hands. “yeah? her and i always do?”

“it’s on me,” he says. “use the credit card.”

“the card is for emergencies.”

“then consider this an emergency.”

“dad.”

“yes daughter?”

that always irritates you when he does that, but you smile anyway. “thank you. for being the best, always,” you roll your eyes with a laugh, always dramatic.

“thank you for sharing this part of your life with me,” he says sincerely. “oh, and i’m still giving her a hard time when she’s over.”

“what? no!”

“it’s my duty.”

“i will lock you out of the house.”

“i’ll kick the door down.”

“be nice to her,” you say seriously. “i really like her.”

“i know,” he smiles. “do you want to stay for lunch since you’re already here?”

oh, right, you haven’t eaten yet. you woke up anxious as hell about telling him, so you haven’t had any food today. “please,” you chuckle. “is garcia here?”

he nods, “in her office.”

“sweet,” you grin. “i’ll be back later with food.”

“okay,” he laughs, watching you practically bounce off the walls now that you’ve been relieved of that big secret. “hey, Y/N?”

you turn around. “yeah?”

“i love you.”

you smile wide, practically throwing yourself in his arms this time. “i love you too, dad.”

[captaincravatthecapricious]

I Thought I Could Trust You- Prompt Fill

 CWs: panic attacks, mental health issues, suicidal thoughts kind of? (Jon wishing that if someone is going to kill him that they would just get it over with), paranoia, insomnia, season 2 Jon and all his issues. Yes basically same as last chapter.  Oh and Food and asthma.  

This is basically a follow up for It Was My Job to Protect You

For Someone on Ao3 whose name escapes me because I haven’t slept well or recently and I am so sorry.  If it’s you please let me know!

LAST BINGO! FINALLY.  I am taking "things you said" prompts, come drop me one of those prompts for Jon, Martin, or Tim!  I am very tired and can't remember if I proofread, so sorry in advance, or in past tense I don't know anymore time is fake and so is the order in which we perceive events.  Have a lovely stretch in your existence.  Card by the wonderful @celosiaa​!  Also very much inspired by @janekfan​

Jon can hardly keep his eyes open.   The stairs were almost too much for him.   Wavering before his eyes and pulling on his heavy limbs, aching and shaky from his earlier panic attack.   

It’s not like he can ask for help.  And even if he could, Martin is just as badly off.  And Tim... Tim scares him.  

Tim is loud.  Tim is angry.  Which is Jon’s own fault.  If he hasn’t been following Tim, Tim would be boisterous, not shouting.  Jon wouldn’t have learned to flinch when he talks.  To flinch when he moves.  

And he wants to trust him but he’s afraid.  And if Martin didn’t kill Gertrude, that makes it all the more likely that Tim did.  

But no.  No.  Tim is his friend, right?  Was his friend.  

But all worry of letting him into his flat vanishes when the climb steals his hard-earned air from his lungs.  Leaving him swaying and gasping on the landing.  

Tim’s speaking and Jon flinches away.  Almost teetering down the stairs, before he’s caught.  By Tim.  

“Oi, steady on, boss!”

Almost drown out by his breathing.  Narrow chest heaving with effort and none of it reaching his brain.  

“Hey Jon, could you maybe hold off on passing out on me until you give me your keys?”  

Is that what Tim had been talking about?  

Keyes, he can do that.  Right?  

But enervated fingers fumble with them in his pocket and he can’t grasp them.  To his unending shame, he feels tears on his cheeks.  

At least Martin is too out of it from his own panic attack earlier to notice.  Much as the comfort would be welcome.  It would also be stifling and even more embarrassing.   

“Jon?”   Still too loud.  Tim’s too loud too close still steadying him physically which is still sending him further off balance.  “Never mind, I’ll use mine.”  

Because right.  Tim had a key.  Which Jon has been regretting because too loud too angry Tim could slit his throat while he sleeps but he doesn’t have it in him to change the locks so he’s been putting wedges under all of his doors.  Ugly old wooden things that scuff the floor but that’s fine if it keeps him alive a little longer.  Warns him early enough to arm himself.  Although.  Dying quickly without any fuss sounds... like a luxury.  

Tim guides an overly pliant Martin to Jon’s understuffed and threadbare sofa.  He tries to guide Jon to the bedroom before Jon’s knees buckle but Jon doesn’t want to be put to bed.  He doesn’t want Tim in attended.  He wants to trust Tim.  But he can’t.  

Much as Jon wants to sink into his bed and make up for all the sleep he’s missed over... well over the course of his whole life, he can’t leave Tim alone.  Unsupervised.  

Can’t let Tim kill him.  Or poor, exhausted Martin on the couch.  Or risk some other person breaking in and killing them all.  

Jon isn’t sure if it would be better to be killed by someone he knows and once called a friend.  

He isn’t sure.  

But when Tim goes to the kitchen to make them all some food which Jon’s lackluster supplies, Jon follows. 

Jon can’t keep his eyes open.  Hyper vigilant to the sounds of the kitchen.  But he can’t keep his eyes open.  And… it might be welcome if Tim’s curry ends up killing him.  So long as the poison does its work quickly.  

He doesn’t want to die, not really.  He’d very much like to survive, but surviving is exhausting, and maybe he wouldn’t mind too much if he just… wasn’t.  He doesn’t want to be a mystery, but he doesn’t want to be afraid anymore… to Hurt anymore.  And he is so exhausted that he does Hurt.  Endlessly.  Not to mention the ragged holes in his skin, still inching ever closer to being ugly scars… or they would be if he could stop worrying them… making them bleed.  

But as tired as he is, it doesn’t stop him from being afraid.  Afraid of dying?  Or maybe just the fear of not knowing When the end is coming.  If he only knew, then he could relax until it was actually imminent.  Not just remaining alert every moment.  

Christ he wants to sleep.  

And… he does… in a way.  He dozes while Tim cooks.  

But he’s afraid that it’s poisoned.  He is afraid Tim will be angry if he can’t make himself eat it for fear… then again it probably won’t be dangerous because Tim and Martin will presumably also be eating…

He wakes up to a clatter of something.  He wakes up with numbed arms and a pounding pulse.  He wakes up with Tim too close holding a knife.  

And later he can parse out, Tim is only too close because he is picking up the cutting board that fell off Jon’s cluttered and diminutive counter, but all he sees is Tim with a knife, Tim cursing loudly.  And he can’t even scream because his chest is too tight.  

This is it.  This is the end of Jonathan Sims.  

He’s going to die.  He is certain he is.  

He shrieks.  And aborted, choked off sound.  Pathetic.  

And he almost thought he could trust Tim.  He almost thought he could trust him.  Almost.  

When Tim drops the knife and makes his posture as non-threatening as possible, Jon hates himself.  Still unable to draw a full breath, and he Hates himself.  

He’s broken Tim’s trust again by not trusting him.  Again.  Not even the first time today.  He wants to tear himself up from the inside out, flacking little bits of old and poorly preserved parchment.  Wants to make those lines appear and send tiny flakes of paper and dust flying and have no more of himself.  Nothing left.  Just this gaping chasm.  Which is all he deserves really.  Leaving nothing but a mess, just like always.  Horrible… wretched… selfish… guilty… pathetic…  What is WRONG with him.  This is Tim.  Tim.  His first friend at the institute.  Tim who has always been there for him.  Until Jon went and Fucked it up.  Properly fucked it up, with no way back.  And.. And… FUCK.  

He’s crying again.  Making a proper fool of himself.  

“Jon?”  

He can’t look at Tim.  Can’t catch his breath.  Catching and wheezing in a way that is pitting the asthma against the panic and making them both all the worse.  

Tim isn’t as gentle as he can be when he shoves the inhaler at Jon for the second time today.  But Jon’s been sitting at the edge of a panic attack for weeks, and this time, it had been his fault.  Not his fault that Jon’s been a jumpy paranoid wreck, but his fault for being loud and angry and threatening and waving a knife around in front of the nervous wreck that used to be his friend.  

“Jon, you’ve got to use the inhaler.  If you don’t breath, I’m gonna wake Martin from his nap.  And he’s gonna be pissed at me, and if he gets pissed at me, I’m gonna get pissed at you, and you don’t want that.”  

Probably a mistake to threaten the person afraid of you, but he can’t fix his anger in one day.  Not until Jon puts in the work too.  

Okay he gets it.  Jon can’t exactly help being paranoid.  He isn’t gonna shame Jon for having shit mental health.  That would make him a bloody hypocrite.  But… Jon did not handle it well.  You’re supposed to reach out if you’re having a breakdown!  (Yes he knows… he’s still a bloody hypocrite but Less of one).  So… Jon’s gonna have to make an effort, and Tim… will try to be less …threatening?  Loud?  Big?  

Jon stops stalking him, Tim takes a good snoop around his flat, they take turns keeping watch for monsters so maybe they can get some goddamned sleep.  Simple enough!  

If Jon can stop having a panic attack while he’s trying to cook!

No… No.  Not gonna be angry at Jon for having another panic attack.  Hardly even came down from the last one.  Still too paranoid to leave Tim alone in the kitchen, stubborn bastard.  And what kind of an idiot only has a few withered vegetables in his fridge?  

(The kind who is too paranoid to eat non-packaged food, Tim does NOT think to himself).  

Still.  Jon should have reached out.  should have said something before it got this bad!  This isn’t Tim’s Fault.  He didn’t help, sure, but it isn’t his Fault!  And he isn’t going to apologize and he isn’t going to forgive Jon.  (At least for now).  

Jon has to be better.  Try to be better.  Tim will meet him halfway, but Jon has to make the first step, and use the goddamn inhaler.  But the threatening just made it worse.  

Jon looking frail and skinny and tired, hands over his head again, bracing for an attack.  Just like in his office, just like on the stairs.  Crumped up in such a way that even if he weren’t having an asthma attack and a panic attack, it would probably still be hard to breathe.  

“Boss, you’ve got to breathe.  We did this earlier, I didn’t kill you then.  Not gonna kill you now.”  Tim moves slowly so Jon isn’t surprised, and guides him a little straighter in his chair, holding the inhaler for him, as Jon’s finger tips (and lips) are going blue.  

And Jon’s still fighting him, although quickly losing what little strength he had to begin with.  

It takes some soothing before Jon lets him near enough to get the inhaler in his mouth.  “That’s good, boss.  That’s it, bud.  Now breathe with me.”  

He has a hand on Jon’s narrow chest now.  Sticky with cold sweat, heaving unevenly.  And Tim can’t believe how fragile his friend(?) has become.  

But as soon as Jon has breath in his body, the apologies start flowing out.  

“Hey, now.  None of that now.  You can apologize until you’re blue in the face once you’re not, ya know… literally blue in the face.  I do want those, but not until you’ve gotten some sleep and you eat some of this damn fine curry that I am somehow making from your truly pathetic supplies.  I’ll take the first watch, then we can talk about it, and you can actually start doing better.  Because that’s what I want.  I want you to stop hiding from us.  I get it, you can’t trust right now.  Fine.  But what you’ve been doing isn’t okay.  You don’t trust me.  That’s …well not fine, but I get it.  I do.  But stalking us, and yelling at Martin, and hiding from us isn’t how to deal with that.  You don’t trust us, so tell us how to help.  How can we prove to you that we aren’t gonna hurt you?  So you can’t help being a paranoid wreck, that’s understandable, but you can’t take that out on us.  That isn’t okay.  So first curry, then sleep.  Then we’ll talk.  Okay?”  

And Jon nods.  Allowing himself to be helped to the couch while Tim finishes dinner.  

[wish-that-i-was-buckys-girl]

Teacher’s Pet

Hello again everyone! This is the first fan fiction of the pop song prompt series. This song is based off of Melanie Martinez’s song “Teacher’s Pet.” This story follows the story similar to that discussed in the song. I liked the idea of doing this one, cause it seemed like something Lance would do. Also, Lance is softer here, less of an asshole to the reader outright, but you’ll see why he actually is one in the end. 

Summary: You were Lance’s favorite student, but after one night you became much more. What could go wrong?

Warnings: Smut, Dirty Talk, Cheating, Jealousy, losing virginity, Dom/Sub undertones.

A/N: As usual, if I missed any warnings just let me know and I will happily add them! Also, as I have no one to proofread, if there are mistakes, just message me and let me know. I hope you enjoy!

(Not my gif)

You were Lance’s star pupil. You had been working with him for six years, 3 years as a student, 3 years as a student/assistant. You were 17 when you joined, hoping to get a spot on the Olympic team with Lance’s training. You did, of course, but that wasn’t the only special treatment you received from Lance’s gym.

First it started with side glances when you were about 19. You would catch him staring at you when he was working with other girls, letting his hand linger a little bit longer than normal when he was trying to fix your posture. At first you just figured it was all coincidence. Lance wouldn’t be interested in you. There were a million other girls he works with that he would probably sleep with faster than he would sleep with you. It’s not like you would object to sleeping with Lance, you knew of his reputation, but you just knew you weren’t his “type.”

Side glances turned into him watching all of your routines while he was working with other girls, lacking any kind of subtlety in the process. Lingering hands turned into full on grabbing of flesh and accidental brushes against your breasts and ass. You didn’t understand what was going on, so you confided in your friends.

“He totally has a thing for you” Tara said. “There’s no way he doesn’t. Do you have a gut feeling? You know when women get that gut feeling we are right every time. You can practically feel the sexual tension.”

“I understand what you’re saying Tara, but why me? You see the girls I compete with.”

“Men are men, Y/N. When they like a woman, they’ll go after her even if they don’t fit their “type.” Just take it as a compliment. I don’t think anything will come of it anyways. Just enjoy the extra attention.”

And Tara was right. Nothing did come of it. Well, nothing did at first. It was months later that something started to bloom before you even had a chance to watch it sprout.

You were in the locker room after practice one day, getting dressed after your shower. You thought you were alone since you had a  private practice that day. Again, you thought you were until you heard footsteps coming from the gym. Lance appeared behind you.

“Good work today Y/L/N. You’re getting better on the silk ropes. You didn’t have much core strength when you got here, I can see you improving a lot” he said leaning against a locker with a smirk.

“Thanks, Lance. I can see you’re improving too” you said jokingly.

You and Lance had also been friends for a while now. You never really hung out outside of the gym, but when you were together the chemistry was undeniable. That didn’t stop you from denying it.

Lance laughed in return. “You have so much fire in you. I don’t understand why you don’t apply it to the rounds. You could rank higher if you just let a little bit of that out.”

“Lance you know I have the energy of a an 87 year old woman. I’m lazy.” You said throwing a peace sign up to make the conversation more comedic.

“You can’t be lazy if you wanna be a gold medalist like me.”

“I’m more a silver girl myself.”

Lance bit his lip. “Really Y/N. I want to see you reach your fullest potential.”

“I’d say you’re helping me enough Lance. Private lessons, regular lessons, then weight training.”

“Well, maybe I can help you loosen up a bit” he said leaning into you.

“And how would you do that?” You said in a nervous whisper.

“Come to my office and I’ll show you.”

He took your hand and his and led you back out to the gym area where his office was. It was unlocked since he hadn’t left for the night. He walked in and turned on a lamp, not wanting to turn on the big light in case any custodians had come for their shift early, drawing attention to you and him.

“Lance, what the hell are we doing in here? Do you need to show me a new routine or something?” You tried playing dumb. Your mind couldn’t comprehend what was actually going on.

“Come on Y/N, you know what happening here.”

“I really don’t, Lance.”

“Do I have to show you?”

“Yes!”

He strutted over to you and shoved you up against the door to his office. He held his hand on the back of your head so you wouldn’t hurt yourself by his shove.

He stood over you, lips lingering close.

“I’ve wanted you for so long, I’ve been waiting and waiting for the right moment. Waiting for you to stare right back at me. Waiting for you to try and touch me. You’re stubborn, I’ll give you that. I think it’s time I show you how to unwind.”

You couldn’t do anything but breathe in response. You finally got the courage to speak.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Lay down on my desk.”

You walked over to the desk and sat down on it, afraid to lay all the way down as he instructed. He caressed your hair and put a strand of it behind your ear. He took his hand and placed it on the small of your back. He put the other on your waist, and laid you down gently. He slowly took your clean leggings off, looking up at you with a lust filled stare. Your mind was racing, not knowing what to think or do. You never thought you’d get to this point.

You laid your head back and stared at the ceiling, nervous about the things are about to ensue.

“Baby... have you been touched yet?”

You swallowed and shook your head. You thought Lance would make fun of your inexperience.

“Oh, sweetie, you’re with an advanced man. I’ll be sure to take care of you real good. Can I touch you?”

You nodded.

“This is all about you, I need you to be comfortable and communicate with me for everything, got that?”

“Yes, Lance.”

“You can call me sir, baby.”

“Yes, sir.”

He slowly brought his hand to your wetness, finding your clit immediately, making you moan softly. It was involuntary, that’s for sure.

“Oh you’re such a sweet little thing aren’t you? You like when I touch you like this?” He asks rubbing your clit slowly.

“Yes I do sir” you say in a breathy moan.

“Good girl, you gonna be a good girl for me the whole time?”

You nodded.

“Use your words baby.”

“I’ll be a good girl, sir. I promise.”

“Look at you, looking all pretty for me.” He inserted two fingers inside of you, smiling as your face contorted in absolute pleasure. He continued playing with your clit with his other hand.

“Oh god that feel so good, please keep going...” your back arching slightly as you moan.

He smiles, leaning down to put his mouth around your clit as he continues to finger you.

He lightly sucks on your nub, picking up the pace of his fingers. You could feel your eyes roll in the back of your head as he sucked.

You grabbed his gelled hair, surprisingly he didn’t yell at you, he continued to finger and suck as you reached your first climax. You could feel it coming, slowly building. You sat up and grabbed his hair as hard as you could, moaning his name as loud as you could. You both hoped the custodians weren’t there yet.

“Yes Lance! Oh god oh fuck! I’m coming!”

He lapped up all your juices, happy to lick up every last drop.

He came up after you came down from your high, going in for a deep kiss.

You sucked on each other’s lips, nibbling every so often. You continued until you felt like your lips had gone numb. As you pulled away from one another, you smiled.

“You were such a good girl for me. Do you think you can continue to do that?”

You smile and nod “I’ll be a good girl.”

“That’s good baby, I know you’ll be my good girl.”

He takes his cock out of his tight sweatpants. You nervously look at it. His size is definitely intimidating, especially for someone like you who has no experience.

He strokes it, making it grow even larger.

“You ready sweetheart?”

“Mhm, yes I am sir.”

He slowly climbs on top of you, his tip brushing your lower lips slightly as you both get situated.

He slid in gently, pushing enough to make you gasp in both pain and pleasure.

“That’s it baby, you think you can take it all?”

You nod with gritted teeth and closed eyes. You wanted to do it for him.

He pushed in all the way, bottoming out in you pussy. A tear rolled down your cheek from the pain. Lance wiped it away with his thumb, slowly starting to go in and out of you.

You grunted every time he filled you up entirely. Lance wanted to go faster, but he wanted to wait for your permission first. Fuck if it wasn’t hard for him to contain himself though.

You continued to moan. He just felt so good inside of you. You never knew this is what sex could feel like. You felt warm and whole. It felt right.

“Go faster, Lance.”

“You sure angel?”

“Yes! Yes I’m sure!”

“Don’t gotta tell me again.” He rapidly picked up his pace, slamming into you. With every slam you would let out a guttural moan you couldn’t contain.

“Fuck fuck fuck! Oh god keep going!”

“You feel so good and tight around my cock baby.”

“God Lance fuck me harder!”

He goes full speed, absolutely wrecking your body. You never knew your body could handle anything like this.

“Yeah baby you like that? You like when I fill you up?”

“Yes, yes, oh god Lance please keep fucking me!”

Your body began to get the same feeling it did just moments ago when Lance’s head was between your legs.

“Lance I’m gonna come again! Oh god oh fuck!”

Lance hadn’t noticed that you stopped calling him sir. You hadn’t either, both absolutely engulfed in making love to each other. Lance might call it fucking, you call it love making, because it felt like love making. Even though it wasn’t an extravagant night, and you were fucking on his desk in his office, this was an out of world experience.

“Come around my cock baby, I wanna feel you come all over me.”

He didn’t have to say it twice. Before you knew it, you were coming all over him.

“Oh god!”

“I got you baby, don’t worry, I got you” Lance said slowing his pace down. In no time, Lance was pulling out to come all over your stomach.

You both sat in silence, hearing nothing but heavy breathing.

You sat up a little to see Lance smiling.

“What is it?”

“Oh nothin’. Just wanted this for a long time. It was even better than I expected, especially with you being a virgin.”

“You like that I’m a virgin? Well, was.”

“Of course, angel, I broke your innocence. Now I’ll always know that I was your first. God that’s gonna make me so hard at practice when I think about it.”

You sat up all the way after Lance cleaned your stomach off with a towel. You put your clothes on and grabbed your bag to head home.

“Thanks, uh, thanks for this coach.”

“Same time tomorrow, angel?”

“... what?”

“Oh c’mon. You didn’t think this would be a one-time deal did you?”

“I... I really didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know you’d want me more than once.”

Lance rolled his eyes playfully “I know I can be an asshole baby, but I won’t treat you like that. You’re my girl. My good girl.”

______________________________________

From that day forward, you had been given the title “assistant” as well as student. You had worked closely with Lance, both during and after practice. You had fucked like rabbits for months, only meeting at your place and fucking in his office really. You had no idea why he wouldn’t take you to his place.

Was it dirty? Was he embarrassed where he lived?

You brushed it off, figuring it was nothing.

That was until one day at the gym your whole perspective had changed.

You walked in in your outfit like any other day, ready to get the girls started on their routine. Lance hadn’t arrived at the gym yet, but that was normal on Tuesdays.

Just as you had gotten all of the girls started on their routines you saw Lance walk in. Your face immediately lit up. That was until you saw a woman and a baby come in behind him.

“Lance! I need the keys to the van! I have to get Gabby to the daycare!”

“Maggie just calm down! They’re in my office! Fucking relax!”

Maybe it was his sister. Maybe it was his cousin? A roommate who was struggling to get by on her own? Your mind was full of thoughts, not realizing the actual truth of the situation.

Maggie followed him into his office and grabbed the keys from his hand. After, she gave him a deep kiss on the mouth.

“God, I hate you, but you’re just so damn cute I can’t stand to stay angry. Love you honey. See you after work!”

You felt like crying. No, you felt like throwing up. You felt like you could do both at the same damn time. How could he do this to you? How could he have a wife and child and still have the nerve to sleep with you and call you his “girl.” You froze in the middle of the gym, immediately turning around to avert Lance’s gaze. You knew he was going to look and see if you noticed what had happened just moments ago.

Some hot tears streamed down your face, but you chose to quickly wipe them away and turn around to face him.

He strutted up to you, almost nervous, like you were going to cause a scene in front of all of the girls. Instead, you turned and smiled at him.

“Hey, how come you were late?” Playing dumb.

Lance seemed dumbfounded. How could you not have noticed what happened? Nonetheless, he played dumb as well. “Uhhh.... I uhm. My car wouldn’t start.”

“Well, that’s just silly, you know if your car won’t start you can call me, right?”

“I uhm, I know. I just didn’t, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You could never bother me.”

Before Lance approached you, you decided to roll with the punches. Of course, it hurt that he had a wife and kid. Of course, it hurt that you weren’t his wife, or girlfriend at that, but this is the closest thing you’ve ever experienced that emulated love. You weren’t going to give that up, not even for decent morals.

As the years went on you and Lance continued your nightly escapes and sneaking around behind his wife’s back. You felt good, though. He chose to spend time with you over his family. At the end of the days, however, your jealousy never subsided. You always knew you wouldn’t be the one he would sleep next to at night. You would never truly be “his girl.”

[chroniclingcate]

the covid paradox

i’m not sure if this is exclusive to people with ocd, or even just people with anxiety, but this was my personal experience with the intersection of ocd and covid. (there might be a pun in there somewhere, but i’ll be damned if i can find it.)

in january, i got covid. a whole bunch of my coworkers tested positive on the same wednesday, some with symptoms and some without. once the first few had tested positive, another coworker and i went on an intrepid mission to purchase enough tests for everyone, convince the hy-vee employee why we should be allowed to purchase ten tests instead of the limit of four, and drove around our area delivering them to our coworkers’ various households. she and i took tests together in the car before taking off, and we both tested negative.

that negative test ended up meaning very little in the whirlpool of my anxiety. i wasn’t showing symptoms, but neither were a lot of my coworkers who were positive. i staggered my work hours to avoid contact with others, and eventually ended up taking home some tools and supplies so i could work from home. (admittedly i do not work in the ideal field to work from home, but by setting up a small bench in my closet, i was able to work on some clarinets in my apartment.) i cancelled my trip home for my dad’s birthday that weekend to avoid the risk. i did all the right things to avoid contact, to avoid spreading or catching the virus, and i knew that. but nothing could help me shake the fear, the anxiety, the conviction that Something Was Wrong.

each negative test just restarted the cycle of worrying, wondering if i really did have it and the test was wrong, or if i was too early in my infection to test positive. i was a wreck. i was barely able to stop myself from compulsively taking a test every day, and even then, part of me wanted to take them more frequently. (as a side note, that’s the “compulsive” in “obsessive compulsive disorder.” the obsession is “i have covid,” and the corresponding compulsion is “i need to take a test.”) this was before they sent out free tests to everyone, so all of this was on my own dime from the hy-vee across the street. every sniffle and cough got me nervous again, struggling not to reach for the next test. from wednesday to friday, i was a nervous wreck.

then on saturday, the strangest thing happened.

i woke up feeling like trash. my head was pounding, my nose was stuffy, my throat was sore, i was coughing. and i felt euphoric. vindicated. relieved.

i took my last test, and just like i’d expected, it came back with a big fat positive on it. and i was elated.

i shouldn’t have been. i should have been worried about the fact that i had the literal plague, but all i could think about was that the worry was finally over. i finally had my definitive answer. i could stop spending every waking moment worrying about whether or not i had it. i had closure.

of course, i’m aware that that is a pretty privileged place to be, because for so many people it has not been as simple as staying home for a week and then heading back to the office. i don’t mean to make light of that or suggest that covid isn’t something to be taken seriously. i just wanted to illustrate the kind of strange, counterintuitive thinking that anxiety and ocd can encourage.

this all happened months ago. why am i talking about it now? because i’m going though the same thing again. a couple of my friends got sick right after we had a party. then a few days later another friend tested positive. today, another friend (who wasn’t even at the party) tested positive as well. i tested negative a few minutes ago. and i’m back to being a wreck.

i find myself disappointed and concerned whenever a test comes back negative. i worry that i’m still too early on the process to test positive; after all, last time i was delayed a few days after everyone else before i ended up being positive. i’m aware that this is an absolutely absurd and frankly insane feeling to have; i shouldn’t be wishing that i have a deadly virus for the second time in just a few months. it’s fucked up to even think that, honestly. but it’s where my ocd has put me. every negative test starts the cycle anew, and only a positive test will truly put the worrying to rest.

i can repeat to myself as many times as i want that it’s allergy season, so of course i’m stuffy. that i don’t drink enough water, so of course my throat is sore. that i’m always tired, and i know what true sick fatigue feels like, and it isn’t this. i’ve been wearing my mask, keeping my distance, doing everything i’m supposed to do. but the cycle of compulsion continues ad nauseam.

[domesticblisss]

Näher | PT.07

Walter x Axel Dieter Jr x Fabian Aichner x Female Reader (Nicknamed ‘Hase’) Mob AU! Rating: Mature (Minors DNI) Word Count: 1848 Warnings: Very tiny bit of angst and a whole lot of smut. It’s a foursome my dudes, oral (female and male receiving), fingering, PiV, cum play. Summary: Walter has some secretive business and Hase is not happy. A/N: Well, blame this lmao. Pt.01 | Pt.02 | Pt.03 | Pt.04 | Pt.05 | Pt.06

Things with Walter has been going great after he came to Miami to be with us. The business is once again thriving and my counselling work with them was downgraded to a two day of the week thing. Walter says it is better for me to focus on the record store and that he worries about me after the whole Bobby Gunns incident, which, very reluctantly, I agree with him and decided to not argue about it.

The record store was going great, to my surprise. With the resurgence of vinyls and cassette tapes, the store became a hit with the locals and a must go to for the tourists. I am lucky to have built a trusty team to work with me and to have Shotzi as my manager, best friend and confident.

Today was another busy day at the store until Walter FaceTimed me.

“Hi, honey.” I greeted him, he smiled at me but had a serious face on. I knew something was happening. “Is everything ok? Why are you in your car?”

“Hi, love. Everything is fine, I’ve got some business to make and I need you to close the store.”

“Walter! The store is full,” I changed the camera for him to see, “I can’t just close it like this.”

“Yes you can. Ask Shotzi for help.”

“Walter, is this another Bobby thing?”

“Hase...” He sighed, running his free hand through his face, “No, I don’t think so. It’s just a precaution thing. Close the store, tell everyone to go home. Go home. Axel and Fabian are there. I love you.”

He turned the call off before I could even say goodbye.

I made some lame excuse about urgent family matters but Shotzi got right away what was happening, and helped me with the customers, who were understanding enough.

Getting home was nerve wrecking. I found Axel and Fabian arguing in german in the living room, about how stupid Walter was to go where he went alone. I couldn’t help myself and barged in on their conversation.

“What do you mean with Walter going alone? Where are Tim and Alex?”

“In the office.” Fabian blurted out getting a slap on the head from Axel and a “Dude”.

“Where did he go?”

Silence

“Who is he making business with?”

Silence

“Why did he make me close the store?”

Silence

“Fine, since you want to treat me like a child, I’ll just throw a tantrum like one until I get my answers.”

Three crystal vases, one guitar, a Matisse painting, Axel and Fabian shouting, asking me to stop as I made my way to Walter’s Farbegé eggs collection, and grabbed one. Raising my hand, I asked “Are you telling me where he is?”.

When they were about to open their mouths to answer, I felt a presence behind me, his hand softly engulfing mine, taking the egg away from me.

“Hase, was ist das?”

“Where were you?” I asked as I turned to face him.

“You need to calm down, Hase.” Walter said and gave me the look. The look he would always give me when he knew I wanted to hook up with Tim. “She needs to relax, boys.” with that, I felt Fabian’s and Axel’s presence circle behind me.

“Yeah, I need to relax.” I said smiling. See, Walter and I have talked about this several times before but never made a move to invite them over. I guess he was saving it for a special moment, i.e., when he fucked up like he just did.

Walter kissed me, and I felt a new pair of lips on my neck. Fabian’s. Just as soft as I always imagined it would be. Axel was getting eager behind me, squeezing my ass and nudging Fabian so he could get a little bit of me for himself. Laughing at his antics, I disentangled myself from Walter’s hold on me and turned around to meet the blonde man.

“Always so needy, huh Axel?”

“The only needy hure here is you, babe.” he got back at me as I took his lips in mine.

A few minutes later and Walter instructed us to take it to our bedroom, making a show of carrying me bride style as the boys followed behind. He helped me take off my sundress and took his shirt off, lying in bed and positioned me between his legs, making me use him as a pillow. Axel didn’t waste any time, took his clothes off and laid between my legs, eating me out. Fabian was shy, having only taken off his shirt and was fumbling with his belt.

“Come here, don’t be nervous.” I tried to calm him down.

“Are you sure it’s ok?” he asked, his hands holding my hair into a ponytail as I took his pants and underwear down in one swift move. His cock was beautiful. Average length, thick and girthy. I let him have his way with me. He was slow, too careful, as if I were some sort of porcelain doll that would break if not handled well. Walter noticed his hesitation and pushed my head forward. “She likes it rough, fuck her face.” I smiled as wide as I could with Fabian’s thick meat buried in my mouth. Walter’s words awakened something inside of him and his actions took a 180 turn. His hips started pistoning, fast and rough, hitting the back of my throat each time. Axel got faster too, sucking my clit and fingering me like there was no tomorrow. All of this combined with Walter’s big figure behind me, holding me, caressing my breasts, and kissing my neck while he sang his praises to me was enough to make me cum in no time. I had to push Fabian away so I wouldn’t choke on his dick as my orgasm took over my body.

“Are you ok?” Fabian asked worried.

“FUCK! Yeah, I’m good.” all I could do was nod and laugh, asking them to wait a little.

Walter noticed that Axel was grabbing a condom, and quickly intervened. “Axel, up here. Let Fabian do it.”

“But? Why? I want-“ Axel started to protest but Walter was fast to dismiss his complaints.

“This is about her, about what she wants, not you. You already made her cum once, let Fabian do it. Besides, Tim is not going to be happy if he finds out Fabian touched her, let him have this one, Ax, he probably won’t have another chance.” Fabian tensed and I laughed, murmuring “I’m sorry” to him.

“Fine” said a very reluctant Axel, throwing the closed condom to Fabian.

“Don’t be a piss baby, Axel. I’ll let you cum in my face.” I told him and got a very excited smiled in return.

Meanwhile, Fabian was lining himself in my entrance, slowly inserting his cock in my pussy, getting used to it.

“She’s really tight, isn’t she?” Walter asked behind me and Fabian eagerly nodded back.

His thrusts got faster quickly and his thumb never left my clit.

“Come ‘ere” I asked Axel, taking his cock into my mouth. Walter took it in his hands to help me, moving my head up and down Ax’s dick, the motion and sensations making him cum in record time. Following what I had promised him, he was quick enough to pull out and come on my face and tits. Fabian and I didn’t last much longer, the way he filled me up and how he thrust in me sent me into over drive, the second orgasm stronger than the first, my walls squeezing him so hard that he came too.

I was too weak to say anything and Walter knowing how I usually get, told the boys to leave us alone.

He kept holding me, shushing me and rubbing random shapes on my stomach until my breathing evened out.

“Are you ok?”

“Mhm” was all I could say, blissed out.

“Did you enjoy it?” he kissed my forehead.

“Yeah, I loved it. But there’s just one thing missing.”

“What is it?”

“You.”

“Hase, you’re worn out. We can do it later.”

“No, now.” I whined. “I can feel how hard you are on my back.”

“Fine, get up.” I did as he told me, lying stomach down as soon as he was off the bed. Walter grabbed a pillow and put it under my stomach to make it more comfortable for the both of us.

As always, he started slow, kissing the whole expanse of my back, my ass and slapped it, kneading it as he made his way inside me. He was relentless, fast, and rough, making me cum even faster. He kept fucking me through my orgasm, the way my walls squeezed around him made him slow down a bit, the sensation so out of this world that a fourth wave came, bringing Walter to the edge with me this time.

His knees gave in and he fell on top me, laughing. We stayed like that for a few minutes, until he asked if I wanted him to run us a bath, to which I agreed to. He was gentle when he took me off the bed, helping me walk slowly to our suite’s bathroom. He made sure to clean my face of Axel’s remains before we got in on the tub, with him behind me once again.

“Are you happy?” he asked

“I am. Will be even more if you tell me where you went alone today that made me close the shop.” I pressed on. He sighed in defeat and answered me.

“I had a meeting with Malcolm Bivens.”

“You had a meeting with Malcolm Bivens?! Alone?! Walter, what the fuck?!” I shouted.

“Hase, calm down. It’s fine. I’m here in one piece, aren’t I?”

“Well, but you couldn’t be. You were worried enough to call me and asked me to close the store! What do you want with him anyway?”

“Did you know he’s like, this really tiny guy? I thought I was going to meet this huge man that was stronger than me but no, very tiny guy. Looks like a little ant.” “Walter...” I sighed “He’s still dangerous.”

“Yeah, but don’t worry. I found out him and Tim worked together before Tim went to Germany and they ended things in good terms. I offered him an alliance. That Karrion Kross guy is trying to expand his business and thinks he is a threat to us. With Malcolm’s support, we are bigger and stronger than ever, Kross will think twice before trying anything.”

I looked up at him, his eyes were closed and a relaxed smile on his face. I kissed him and laid my head back down on his chest.

“Next time just tell me where you’re going, ok?”

“Why? So you are worried about me?”

“I was worried today and you saw what happened. Next time, you will tell me, ok?”

“Yeah, ok.” he gave in.

“Good. I need to clean the mess I made in the living room.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll help you, liebe. Now relax.”

---------

Translations

Hase, was ist das? - Hase, what is this?

Hure - Whore

[unioncolours]

A 2nd Majsasaurus Year!

Today, 22nd of September 2021, it’s been two years since I officially joined the magical world of fandom. 22.9.2019 I uploaded the first chapter to my fic Shadows and Sand, and the rest is history.

I did a deep dive into my first year as a fic writer and active member of fandom last year, when it was my first anniversary. You can read it here!

In that meta discussion about my membership of fandom, I presented it as if walking on clouds. I was so, so happy and talked during all the discussion about my happiness in fandom.

Since that post was written, my life and also my perception of the fandom I am part of has changed. Change isn’t always bad, as I really had a honeymoon phase with fandom over a year ago, and the low after hit hard.

But let’s see what I’ve been up to and what I’ve been writing! The following year provided much change and fun things! Please keep reading 💜⬇

The first fic I wrote since 22.9.2020 was a Sakura x Ino fic. I had for a longer while been interested in writing a woman-loves-woman ship, which I had never done before, and as a wlw-person myself the urge to explore that part led to Promise me this is just a kiss. The pairing itself was chosen on rather random, it had to be two women and I like Ino, so I chose the most popular Ino-wlw ship for this for convenience.

I really liked writing the fic and it was well-received! It was the first time I had written a fic that was entirely centred around exploring feelings and having sex.

After this I jumped directly onto the next idea that had been boiling inside me for a longer while. Up to this point, all I had written, except the wlw-fic, had been set in the Naruto canonverse and I was itching to try to work with a multi-chaptered modern au! The pairing was of course my beloved Shikadai x Inojin.

It was during the creation of this fic I began to struggle. This was a new genre, as this was romance only and all my other works had been action and fantasy based, except the sex fic of course. I was maybe over critical and stressed, which resulted in me having a hard time writing it. But I made it. Was the sky always this beautiful? ended up being 35k long, and in hindsight, I freaking love, love, love how it turned out in the end and what it represented. I am very proud of this fic.

I “upgraded” as a fan by the end of October when I bought myself a digital drawing tablet. I began drawing fanart of Shikadai and Inojin and preferably them two together, haha! I still draw a few days a month and find it extremely fun as a side hobby beside the writing.

We are now in November 2020. By this time, I had completely finished my zine fic, Under the Scorching Sun, which I had written during September and October, for the Shikatema zine I was kindly accepted to. I was proud of what I had created and was eager for the rest of the contributors to wrap up theirs, so we’d have a wonderful zine for sale in 2021. It was lovely to write ShikaTema again. As the zine fic was about to be released in months from when I had at first finished it, I wanted of course to write something fans and friends could immediately take part of on the internet. I had hyped myself up to a state where I wanted to write a third and final story in my series To love and never let go, my epic series about Shikadai and Inojin.

Now, I should maybe have waited another month, but I was worried the readers would give up on me if I didn’t write it right away. In December, I began writing To find hope in the Universe, with my usual speed and love for the art.

What I by then didn’t realise or even recognise was that I was very slowly turning burned out. I ignored all the signs.

In December I wrote simultaneously as Hope in the Universe a fic that was part of the Shikatema server’s Secret Santa event. The fic’s name was The Ghost Stories of our Hearts, and it was ShikaTema, as the event’s name suggests. It was fun to write and despite the final big fic, Hope in the Universe, pressing down on me, I finished The Ghost Stories of our Hearts and was very happy with the result. Sadly, at this point the burnout began taking control over me, and I never managed to reply to the comments.

The 15th of January, I began uploading To find hope in the Universe. It was a lovely experience, even if it was tainted by negative feelings coming from my decreasing happiness and the fact that it didn’t do as well as To dance above the Stars, the second fic in the series. To deal with two very contradiction emotions, loving my work, the characters, how I have painted an entire world around the characters and how I knew some people honestly loved my hard work, and then the negative feelings coming from not feeling good enough and depressed, was a difficult thing to navigate and still is when I think back to that time. It didn’t help that during the process of uploading the fic I went through grief, and I chose distraction as my coping method. I kept writing and working, the only thing I ever knew.

Our pre-order of the Shikatema zine was in full motion by this time and it was a nerve-wracking time! Mostly because of excitement but also worry. I’m super happy for my friends who were part of the zine, with whom I could share all the excitement and nervousness with. The zine ended up making good sales, which made me happy among the uploading of the long fic.

To find hope in the Universe was completed 31st of March 2021. When I uploaded the final chapter, I felt nothing. It was so weird, so spooky, to have finished a long fic and a series on top of that and not feel anything. But deep down, beneath the layer of depression, I felt great pride.

That was the emotion that broke free once the burnout left me. Pride.

I had created this empire of Shikajin, a whole alternative timeline, an alternative canon from my own head and to this day, that is my internet legacy. I love Trial of the Heart, which I wrote in 2020, but if I have to choose between ToH and this series, I will choose To love and never let go in a heartbeat.

So, even if it felt depressing and hopeless in the moment, I look now back with pride and happiness. Never forget that. Never forget that I made that.

April was a curious time. I swore to not write anything, because I had by now recognised that I was burned out and needed to rest, yet managed to scrape together three smaller fics.

The first one was another wlw-smut fic, TemaSaku this time called Another Light. I wanted to explore that part once again. I wrote it in canonverse and honestly think the fic ended up extremely nice. Perfect amount of feels and sex. It didn’t feel hard to write at all, because the setting, characters and emotions were so different from the fics I had written the last five months.

Now more interesting things lay on the horizon! A new zine, the Ino-Shika-Cho zine called Beyond a Bond had an interest check during the spring, and later the contributor application. I urged in the interest check to please give us the next gen kids, Shikadai, Inojin and Chocho – my kids and babies, and when it turned out they were going to feature, I had to apply as a writer. For this application I wrote a one shot, called It’s just hair, and I loved this spunky little story featuring the best babies that I created.

I also edited one of my tumblr fics, And then I kissed him, into a longer, better version that I later in May uploaded onto AO3. It was once again a Shikajin, a sequel of Trial of the Heart, and it was a fun little project.

Now May came and I sent in the application for the zine early, which I now am relieved I did. I am happy that I did the work for the application in April instead of May, because in May I had a few breakdowns and another grieving period, which lead to complete creative paralysis. I didn’t write a single word during May, only uploaded the two one shots I had prepared in April.

What I did do in May was to read through the Shikatema zine I had contributed to! It arrived in the mail! I was so nervous; my whole body was shaking when I opened the package right outside the post office. The zine now resides on the parade place in my little zine shrine in the bookshelf. Thank you to the mods who made this a reality!

To my great happiness my zine adventures continued as I was accepted to the Ino-Shika-Cho zine as a writer and was assigned to write my favourite characters. I felt so relieved and overjoyed, mind blown by the sheer talent among the contributors.

On the other fandom front, June didn’t continue any brighter, with stress and mental pain still having a strong grip around me, despite the very happy news that I am still so grateful for. I wrote a Yamanaka family fic which to this day hasn’t seen the light of AO3, because of negative emotions surrounding it. I turned into a complete wreck compared to me in June 2020. In June 2020 I was flourishing, I loved what I did, I loved fandom and I loved the friends I had made through Discord servers. Now I could find myself crying my eyes out over a wip not going the way I wished it would. What had happened to Bex 2021?

I was so incredibly frustrated with myself, groaning in defeat when my hands just couldn’t write. I managed to push through 6k of what I called my “emo au” – more of that later – and finish the Yamanaka fic which is still buried, and on top of that I had the zine and another fandom event, The Naruto Photo Album, to create content for. Why couldn’t I do it? Why couldn’t I find happiness in something that once was my reason for happiness?

In the end, I managed to write 15k in June. My former monthly word count used to be 30k. One could think this would turn into the end of my fic writing career, or the beginning of a longer hiatus, but I am stubborn and want to meet the expectations of the people who love my content, so I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to try. I wanted to be whoever I was before.

Funnily enough, the healing came in the shape of the most self-indulgent fic I have ever, ever written, a fic I like possessed began writing July the 1st 2021. It was nothing less than a freaking fairy tale AU, namely a Shikadai x Inojin Peter Pan AU. I can hear you laugh at the silliness of it, but this whimsical AU gave me back my love for writing. I hyper-fixated on this story quite a bit and stopped writing on everything else, something I almost never do.

Only happy boys fly ended up being 21 000 words long! I knew it was a niched story, and true to my guesses, the story has to this day very low stats. Today, two months after it was published, it has just above 100 hits and 10 kudos, so for all I know, only ten people read and liked it. I try to not care too much, since I love the story and in some way, that story saved me from going batshit insane over my emotions about writing.

At this point I had begun writing my fic from the Ino-Shika-Cho zine, finding joy in silly scenes with my favourite characters and trying to heal. The writing process was frustratingly slow, but one word at a time I got forward and as of today, the draft is done. The pre-orders are in December. At the side of the zine fic I wrote a short fluffy Shikajin story, CLEAR, a story with almost no plot, because I knew how much self-indulgence could help me.

And then, I finally began writing for real on my emo au, A gang of fallen stars, which has the first few chapters up right now! I have for the first time in six months a longer fic (if we don’t count the Peter Pan story) and it feels… good. This fic is once again a modern au, but in darker tones than my other modern au from November 2020. I honestly like what I have so far, even if I during June and July almost planned to never finish it. I am so relieved I managed to begin the upload. In September the Photo Album was released and I could show my two fics I wrote for it.

It sounds like this year has been nothing but misery, and at times it felt like it. However, there are a few fandom friends who brought light to my life when I couldn’t see it. The first ones to mention are of course my partners in crime, @notquitejiraiya and @thespookymoth. Together we created a server dedicated to Ino-Shika-Cho during the spring and it has been tons of fun with the members there! Thank you two for listening to me and for being my friends during 2021.

I also have to mention Soverel, who carefully begun taking contact through comments and likes on my twitter, and later through direct messages, and it has been a fun ride ever since. We’ve had lovely discussions which are very dear to me and your support means a lot to me. Thank you for being you and for drawing so many wonderful artworks you’ve shared with me. Haha, and for making me play Genshin Impact, even though I do it like twice a month!

Another person who has made my days so much brighter is @sugarriene. Thank you for sending me that one dm that made us chat regularly, thank you for popping up and sharing panels and your wonderful drawings with me, and for vibing head canons with me. You are a lovely person, and you make me happy.

Finally, I want to give a shout out to @yoboseyokyu for listening to me when I had to yell into the void and for making me happy with your cute posts on both twitter and tumblr.

Since September 2020, I’ve written around 195 000 words and drawn close to 35 illustrations, most of them of Shikadai and Inojin. Almost 200 000 words of Majsasaurus. I’ve created a Discord server and I’ve been part of two zines as a writer, plus a free PDF-project.

It has been a wild year. A year filled with passion for my favourite characters and ship, with the excitement that came with being part of projects and hyping them. It was a year where I learned to draw digitally, and heck what fun it was.

This also a year where I learned people can be mean to me because of what I ship and that fandom friends won’t necessarily always stay to be your friend anymore and how much it can hurt. I also learned what my limits are, and what punishment I get if I don’t listen to my own mind and rest when I have to.

It was a year, guys.

Now, onto the third Majsasaurus Year. Cheers!

And those of you, who supported me when I needed it – thank you and I love you.