#I am a fantasia addict okay

[mirror-to-the-past]

Dream Drop Distance is really cool so far! Anyone who's heard me speak knows I love shit with dreams, and I'm glad KH is really throwing itself into that mix now. The intro was admittedly a bit jarring, because I was like... "okay... they're younger... with raft? No Kairi? URSULA?! They're drowning? Traverse town... did I skip a cutscene without realizing?"

But I'm good to go, now! 😆 👍

Except for the phantom Ursula bit... why her? Trying to figure that one out, still.

Anyway, here's where I squeal!

Remember when I said this, one post ago, in reference to Maleficent rhetorically questioning fiction vs. reality:

"Here we go, create new worlds from stories, huh?"

On top of Sora's journal being established as being tied to his very being, and that the two clearly have just as much life within them, and that line, it's an interesting choice that the Dream Drop Distance opening movie shows lots of storybooks with writing within them of places in the games, particularly one of Destiny Islands with the trio within it. The game's going meta, boys... I'm banking on it.

The intro scene with Braig's death and Xehanort's... whatever is going on... so intrigued...

The Dream Eaters are SOOO cute! I love their wonky little faces and weird eyes. A mix of Inception dream diving, KH, and Pokémon? This game is like... scientifically engineered to make me go insane. I immediately went to see if censors were enacted for Dream Eater naming as was the case for actions in BBS, and Riku now has a colorful bat following him around named "FU%K." Truly, I am maturity incarnate.

The addictive card game in Traverse Town is very rewarding as a CoM Enjoyer with how it replicates the gameplay. The entire time I was running around I shared Sora's hyper reaction of "I haven't seen this part of Traverse Town before!!" :D I am Filled with Wonder. Traverse Town's got a whole underground supersized mailroom that reminds me of that one place in Polar Express, holy cow!

The two worlds I've been to are so pretty so far! And AAAA a Hunchback of Notre Dame world, which I have been wanting since the first game, ohmygod, guys! The intro got my hopes up for a Fantasia world, but it could've just been a one-off reference like they've done before, and there's so much in Fantasia that I don't know if they'd actually commit to stylizing a whole world off of it. But anyway, if they did... I'd explode. But I won't hold my breath (I say, coping, setting my expectations to a reasonable level). Anyway, now I can legitimately say "Sora and Riku fight the church lmao" and actually have canon backing for it. My wish came true again. And wow.... the cathedral windows are so purty... I just sorta stared at them for a 'lil bit. Then I fought a frog. Then Sora got profiled by Frollo (that was not on my bingo sheet, but something was both disconcerting and hilarious about Frollo looking Sora up and down and going "I know what you are," *projects discriminated group onto Sora's oblivious being*).

And hoo boy, don't get me started on my little duo. Not half an hour into the game, and already Sora was screaming for Riku at the top of his lungs. That was the true indicator it was a KH2 sequel. And Riku, Mr. 'I-agree-with-the-I-wanna-protect-the-one-thing-that-matters-feeling,' *reaches out tentatively for Sora's spectral face,* and "Wish I could take my own advice?" (In terms of struggling to be vulnerable enough to look for acceptance from those close to him- a theme I hold near and dear to my heart) (Seriously, that Quasimodo and Riku parallel was just *chef's kiss*) These two are gonna be something (and when were they not), aren't they?

Also loved when Riku just instinctually backed up Esmeralda with the 'I am an alien to this world and do not know your slurs, I only know to turn a blind eye when I see someone running from authority.' I lol-ed.

Theory time! I guess not really a theory, but moreso multiple observations. The Dream Eater symbol is really similar to the Unversed symbol, first of all! Which is interesting, but would also make sense, as Nightmares and "Bad, lingering feelings" can kinda go hand in hand. Will that mean something for the plot? I'll see! ALSO I think it's interesting how the story took the time to have the characters be like "woah my clothes are different," so like any self respecting person with eyeballs that work, I looked at the clothes and noticed Riku had a Dream Eater symbol on his back! I checked, and unless it's hidden, Sora did not, so hm.... I mean, all I could really throw out with that is "Riku's a dream eater!" But that wouldn't answer why, how, why Sora isn't one, what it really entails to exist as a dream eater, anyway, so it's not really a theory and instead is half baked speculation. But... neat, y'know?

I'm still figuring out what exactly the Sleeping Worlds are and what they mean for the canon, but ya know I'll get there! It's about the journey, maaan. 😎 But know that so far, I am definitely a happy camper (Playing in Proud mode though, we'll see how long that good feeling lasts, lol).

[ainyan]

So, I don't usually take night showers, but I had reasons. >.> And I was shower thoughting while actually awake for once, and I had a thought for an OC that isn't a WoL. >.>

A Hannish adventurer who's a bit of a fantasia addict; spents all too much of her earnings on those little vials and the additives needed, constantly changing her appearance, race, and even gender.

Comes to the attention of a shady little Hannish alchemist in some tiny village deep in the jungle. He offers her a job - as a test subject. He has created, he claims, a cheaper alternative to fantasia that is temporary in nature - the effects only last a few days before wearing off. Perfect for someone who is constantly changing things up.

Only he doesn't tell her she's his first test subject. So she agrees, and takes the potion, using all the proper additives for the change she wants. And lo and behold, she changes exactly as expected.

And she changes back the next day. Okay, didn't last a few days, but that's fine.

Only the next day, she changes again. Only this time, it's only a gender change.

And the next day, she changes back to a woman.

Then once again the following day, at 6 am on the dot, she becomes her male version again.

Unfortunately, temporary was only the first time around. The alchemists and arcanists she sought for help regretfully informed her that whatever the potion did, it altered some fundamental part of her, and until they can work it out, there's nothing they can do.

At 6 am every morning, she will swap genders. And this will continue, they speculate, for the rest of her life.

The funny thing is - she's not quite sure she minds. She's been a man before, thanks to her fantasia addiction, and she happens to know she enjoys very much certain aspects of being male. She also really enjoys being female.

And the possibilities, she considers, abound.

[dreams--of--wonderland]

“You see, I am simply one hell of a butler~” 

Welp. One can never say that I don’t get into the spirit of All Saints if I’m willing to fantasia and name change souly for a costume. 

>.> 

[onlyyyariii]

Psychopath

*******

"They're looking at you." Ethan growled, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"I know Ethan. They always do."

"Well I don't like it."

He turns and glares at them. They laugh and look away from us.

"Have you heard about the serial killer that's on the loose? It's terrible, what's happening to these people."

"Yeah it's a real shame."

"Ethan come on I'm serious. Someone is out there killing people. I want you to be safe. I love you so much and I don't want you taken away from me."

I lean over the bar to place a kiss to his lips. He deepens it for a moment before pulling away.

"I wouldn't worry about me, Li."

"All I can do is worry about you."

"Well I'll try to be more careful alright?"

I nod before turning back to make another drink. I've been working at this bar for a few months now. Ethan, my fiance, comes to visit me every now and then during my shift. A lot of my customers being old men, hit on me. I'm perfectly content with how my life is now. I love Ethan with all my heart and nothing will ever change that.

"I'll be back to pick you up after work." Ethan says, stepping down from the stool.

"I'm working til 2, E. That's really early and you have work tomorrow."

"Babe, I love you and I want to bring you home."

"Okay," I laughed.

I kissed him goodbye before returning to the bar.

Ethan's POV:

I watched as the guy who was checking her out before walked up to her now that I'd left.

"Hey sweetheart, how about another drink?"

"Of course. What would you like?"

"Tequila and lime. How bout you come sit with me and the boys when you're on break."

"No I'm fine. I have a fiance and we're perfectly happy together."

I smiled knowing she's mine. But I'm so killing that guy later.

"Come on baby we only want to talk."

"Then you'll start eye-f*****g me. I only want my fiance to eye f**k me so the answer is still no."

He sneered, "You'll regret that, you b***h."

"Here's your drink sir."

She "accidentally" poured the alcohol on him. I smirked, that's my girl.

"Oh I'm so sorry!"

"Shut up. I'll be leaving now."

He walks back over to his boys. My time to shine. I walk out the club and go around the back. They don't have cameras here which is stupid. I open the seat on my bike and grab the switchblade. Nice and shiny, pointed objects are my favorite thing to kill with. A shard of glass to the throat, my switchblade to the chest, maybe a nice pipe to the head. They're all very good methods. All ones that I've performed in the past 3 months. They get the job done quickly. I sit down on the bike and wait for them. When they come walking around the side, they stare at me and laugh.

"You waiting for your little fiance in there?"

"Sure am."

"Well she's a whore," they say, stopping in front of me.

"Oh don't get too close. I bite."

They all get up in my face. Smirking, I push the switchblade into the ones chest. After pushing him off, he falls to the ground choking violently. His friends look at him then back to me.

"You stabbed him!" he screams.

"D**n right I did. Now which one of you, wants to go next?"

I killed them, one by one. After the three of them were dead I get on my bike and drive home. That's three more people who'll stay away from Liana. I change and shower before lying in bed. Liana will call me when she has to be picked up. Closing my eyes, I rest my head against a pillow drifting into a light slumber.

Liana’s POV:

Walking around the back of the club, I come across three bodies. I scream loudly. It was the three guys from the bar. Someone killed them! I rush to grab my phone out of my pocket.

"911 what is your emergency?"

"Three guys have been killed around the back of Fantasia."

"Alright ma'am. I just sent a message to the nearby police. I would like you to stay on the line until they get there."

"Of course."

Looking around the scene, something shiny catches my eye. I know I shouldn't touch anything but I'm curious. I walk over to the object and pick it up. It's a switchblade knife. Looking closer there are letters engraved on it. Perhaps a little message?

'EGD, all my love, LMS.'

Oh my god. This is Ethan's switchblade I bought him for his first birthday we spent together. No. He couldn't possibly be the- I gasp. Flipping open the blade I notice the dried blood. Sobs rack my body. Ethan is the killer. Ethan is the serial killer that's been running rampant for the past three months. I can't let them find this. I quickly hide the blade in my back pocket.

"Ma'am?"

"Oh yes, I'm sorry I zoned out. It's just the bodies I-"

"No, I understand completely. The police should be arriving very shortly."

I step away from the bodies. I check myself from head to toe to see if any blood got on me. Luckily it didn't. Checking the time I see it's around 1:30 in the morning. When did he kill these guys? A police siren blares as many cars pull around the club.

"Oh they're here."

"Of course, you may leave the line at this time."

"Thank you so much." I say, hanging up.

Many officers jump out of their cars and come over to assess the situation at hand. An older police officer walks up to me. He has a notepad and pencil in his hands.

"Hello, my name is Officer Michael Monroe, I'm going to ask you some questions if that's alright with you."

"Of course."

"Alright, when did you find the bodies, Ms...?"

"Liana Summers. I found them just about 15 minutes ago. They were already dead before I got out here. There's so much blood."

"Yes Ms. Summers we understand that. Did you know any of the victims?"

"Yes, but not personally. They have been hitting on me for the past few weeks. I work the bar inside the club. I always rejected them of course."

"Of course. Would you like a ride home?"

"That would be lovely thank you officer Monroe."

I get into the backseat of one of the police cars and wait for an officer to drive me home. One the cars starts up I assume the man will need my address.

"I live at 156 Mason Lane. It's an apartment building."

"We're nearing that building now."

Once we arrive I quickly jump out and thank the man for driving me. I watch as he drives back towards the crime scene. Making my way up to the third floor, all these thoughts force their way into my mind. Why has Ethan been doing this? How did I not know about it? How could he kill people but then act normal the next day? How did I not catch on to his actions? I open the door to my apartment and make my way to the bathroom. I take a nice warm shower then walk into Ethan and I's shared bedroom. He's sleeping peacefully on our bed. He looks so young and innocent as he sleeps. How could he be a murderer? Sudden anger fuels through me. I get dressed in one of his t-shirt's and underwear before grabbing the switchblade out of my pants. I clean it off and wake him up.

"I'm up- Liana how'd you get home?"

"The police brought me," I won't tell him I found the switchblade yet, I want to see if he'll tell me what he's done, "I found the bodies."

He has a look of remorse on his face, not for the men but for me.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that." He pulls me into a hug.

I know he's a murderer and all but he's still my Ethan. I melt into his embrace as tears drip down my face.

"How could you do that to people Ethan?"

He tenses up and then pulls back.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Ethan I found your switchblade with the blood on it! How could you kill innocent people!?"

A scowl settles on his face, "They weren't innocent."

"Baby you killed them. You murdered them, and for what?"

"For you. I did it for you. They were staring at you. They tried to lie to me and tell me that you wanted them. I was trying to protect you!"

"The only thing I was scared of was the serial killer, and the serial killer is you."

I pull farther away from his body. I love him with all my heart but- he's killed people. Somehow this feels like my fault.

"No no no Liana please. Please don't leave me. I did this for us baby. They wanted you. All of them. All of the people I got rid of wanted to take you away from me."

I stop moving. Of course. This all makes sense now. All the people that have died, somehow or another flirted with me in front of Ethan. He's very possessive. I was warned by his ex girlfriend. I just failed to see it.

"Ethan?" I say, turning toward him.

"Yes?"

"I love you. I love my Ethan. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so- I forgive you. I love you enough to look past these... mistakes. Please tell me you'll stop. You'll stop for me."

He looks at me. Anguish present on his features. He's an addict. He's addicted to the game. His game.

"You can't, can you? It pains me, to realize that I'm in love with a psychopath. But I just can't leave you."

"You can't?"

"No, I've loved you for far to long to give up now."

I rush over to him and he pulls me into his arms. I love him far to much to give up on him now. I pull his lips to mine. We stand by our bed, liplocked and crying all at once. He pulls away and smirks at me.

"Make up s**?" He suggests.

I giggle, "I want you to be rough with me."

"Rough?"

"Very rough."

*******

Moral of the story, Liana liked that he was protecting her. They became Bonnie and Clyde more or less, without the robbing part.

Tag list: @grantzarrr @luxplsr @rhyrhy462 @fangdolan @blindedbythelightt @333dolans

[jeffwittekcuts]

Fantasia (J.W)

Or where Jeff and Yn live in a beautiful fabricated world full of secrets

“Te amo”

“I love you too”

Mornings all started the same, waking up and almost immediately reading the “good morning” text Jeff would send on a daily basis, she would as if it were a scheduled smile at her phone and text him back right away.In about and hour Jeff would be back from his hike with nerf , like always she would have breakfast served and they would talk for awhile about anything really. After being done with breakfast, Yn would tease Jeff and they’d end up having shower sex like they both liked. 

On that afternoon they had decided to go to their spot. They had discovered this little garden that was very secluded, it had such a great view , a light breeze and beautiful flowers, and they both loved the place so much it had become “their spot”. They mostly went to the spot , they did vary every now and then and would go get ice cream, lunch or just hang at a friends house , but the spot was their go to. They had gotten there a bit late , yet it didn't matter because the sun was setting and they enjoyed watching the view as they whispered words of love and exchanged a few  kisses. Their love grew more each day and they knew that. The sun and the flowers were all witnesses as well as the moon and the stars of the growth of their love.

Nights were a little more tricky. See, on the weekends like today y/n would stay at Jeff’s , but on weekdays she would have to sneak out of her dorm and see him. Sometimes she would sneak him in and that usually ended in them talking for a while, having sex and jeff passing out briefly before he had to leave at 5 am to go on his hike. Tonight they would stay in, Jeff would order some food for both of them. She loved having dinner with Jeff , any time she could spend with him was amazing really, but when they had dinner together they would chat for hours, kiss so passionately and just enjoy each other.They would then have sex and before cuddling to sleep they would tell eachother their “I love you’s) and kiss for a while. Like yn , Jeff missed her like crazy , but he knew she was busy with school work like he was with editing videos and coming up with new ideas for the show , but he did the impossible to see her because to him she was worth it , all he thinks about is how he misses her and wants to be with her so badly, her kisses and cuddles had just become addicting to him.

Jeff would never regret the day he had kissed her, he remembered he was so nervous , he didn't really know if she was into him , but it was a risk he was willing to take that night. Jeff had taken his distance and time with her, but  that night when he felt her lips start to kiss him back, he became even more infatuated with her , he could not help his feelings towards her. They started off as nothing really , none of them dared name their relationship, because they really didn't know what it was or where it was going so they kept it that way till this day. She does remember when she started noticing the change in Jeff. He first started calling her cute little nicknames like gorgeous and beautiful to which she then was confident enough to call him cariño and hermoso , these days she was babygirl and he was mi amor , he absolutely loved it when she gave him pet names in spanish. Drawings , flowers , dinners and doing the impossible to see her , had been signs that maybe they were more than friends and she was okay with that. The first time he told her he loved her, he had stared deeply into her eyes as he caressed her check and whispered “I love you”. At first she was kind of shocked but she had managed to get a “yo tambien te amo”. They both blushed and cuddled the rest of the night. In a way it felt right to not label what they had, because a title wasn't needed; they were enough to each other and they knew that. 

The truth is their lives were good, but this world where everything is perfect was just theirs. The reality was they had to keep their love hidden , just a few people knew they were together or a unit if you will. The thing started when Jeff broke up with Cierra who at the time had just recently befriended Yn, things were on the rocky side for Jeff and Cierra. They lasted a few more months until they finally broke up. Jeff had taken an interest in yn , she didn't really mind him, she was focused on being loyal to Sierra. Many believed that they liked each other but they both denied those rumors and said they were just friends.

Cierra and Jeff kissed one last time but that only happened because he saw yn making out with another guy and wanted to take his mind off of things and Sierra just happened to be there. Two weeks after that was when he kissed Yn for the first time. They were both shocked, Yn didn't feel guilty for some reason, yet she didn't want Sierra to find out because in a way she liked the attention. After that night she made Jeff swear no to tell anyone in their friend group. He had more than agreed, leading Yn to think it had really been a just one time thing. One kiss turned into a make out and ended up in fucking. They had become a thing before they knew it.

Yn knew what she was, a rebound. Jeff would never admit to it , but deep down she knew that was her reality. She remembered when she first told Jeff about how she felt , he said he did not just want her for sex. Time after time he would prove her wrong , but the love that he gave her in returned overpowered that feeling. Yn had learn how to live with it because even though sex was a  huge chunk of their relationship so was love. Jeff in multiple occasions proved that maybe he felt something more than a sexual desire towards yn. The flowers and letters were a small part of it , but the way he promised so much with words of love made her forget it all.Jeff would truly do anything for her, she was definitely somethings else , he wanted to show her his eternal love and that he would always be there to protect her. They would both be there for eachother in the good and the bad. He would remind her about their promise “You and me against the world” and she would smile and reply “Tu y yo contra el mundo”.

The reality for the both of them was they could never date if they wanted to, their relationship would never be nothing more than a secret. This was something that often bothered Yn, she just wanted to be a normal couple, but she knew she could not have it that way. When she came to think about it there was nothing normal between her and Jeff and that made it even better and besides why be normal when you can be happy? Although they wanted more they would settle for now and just see where life would take them on this crazy ride.In full honesty she loved him and he loved her and even though they had to hide she would not have it any other way because at the end of the day “El me ama y yo lo amo” (he loves me and I love him).

[catsidhesilvieside]

Hello lovelies :D Decided to create an alt blog for FFXIV~ Because I, too, am addicted to gpose/screenshots and OC backstories!

I am Silvie, AKA CatSidheSilvie. I started FFXIV (my first and only FF game!) mid-ShB when I was expecting my second child, so I had a TON of insomnia and physical restrictions and ended up spending all my extra time playing. Then, my maternity leave overlapped with EW's release, meaning I got to power through it with a sleeping baby on my shoulder. Nowadays I can't play quite so much, but I still am on daily after the kids go to bed and think that'll be the norm.

My main is Wyra, a purple miqo on Sarg. She is 90 on all battle classes except BLU (working on that now) and is approaching 90 on crafters/gatherers with Alchemy and Botany already maxed. She is a RDM main/SMN secondary.

I am the founder of the Casual Coven CWLS on Aether and am part of a static formed through that. We are currently casually progging P2S. Yay, sewage horse.

I have 7 alts, mostly for art and FC room-decorating purposes (I am not capable of fantasia-ing Wyra since I'm too attached ahaha).

Wyra has a whole long backstory (two, actually -- one WOL version and one non-WOL!) and I keep a word doc on my headcanons because I have nothing better to do. This'll be a place for me to post things like that without a twitter character limit :'3

Shipping is pretty minimal and very average. I think WOL/G'raha is pretty cute but also lightly ship my WOL with Y'shtola. I do some romantic gposes of my husband's and my characters, also.

Apart from leveling alt after alt, playing in gpose, and keeping track of backstories, I do my own art sometimes and will post that. I'm open for commissions but haven't really done much for FFXIV yet, so that info is available upon request.

I'm okay with light PG-rated RP, but am clueless since I've only ever RPed before through art :'D Feel free to submit a message addressed to a character and you'll probably get a response doodle.

I will be creating character profiles on my sidebar next, so look forward to it if you're into that sort of thing :'3

[dankcranks]

100% serious. It'll help me get out of my own head, too. I've had a kinda blehhh day

same here friendo

putting this under a cut cause it’ll be long

☝ - How tall are you? - fun story for years i thought i was 5′7 cause that was the height the last time i was measured at my doctor’s office in my late teens, but they measured me “just to see” the last time i was there, and i’m 5′8???? the last few years of my life has been a lie

✔ - Sexual Orientation - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ still trying to figure this out tbh. def pansexual, probably panromantic but also possibly on the grey spectrum??? i value platonic relationships over romantic ones, but do still have the ability to have romantic attractions towards others (although it’s rare) and idk what that means

🚬 - Do you Smoke? i used to a lot a lotttt but nowadays it’s only when i’m with friends that smoke and can bum one off of them (cause i’m incapable of making good choices when it comes to my health)

🍷 - Do you Drink? - yes, but rarely and generally only socially 

♒ - Do you Take Drugs? - prescription yes. but similarly to smoking, i used to smoke a lot a lotttt of weed but now only do when i’m hanging with the person in my life that smokes regularly

😳 - Age you get mistaken for? - honestly idek. late teens? people are always suspeeshy of me when they id me and see my birth year, and i feel like i look like a teenage boyo which isn’t helped by my shit skin

💉 - Have Tattoos? - ocarina of time style ganondorf and skull kid (with the mask you give him on) on my left upper arm, the chorus of hilf mir fliegen by tokio hotel on my back, and schwester on my foot (for my sister)

✏️ - Want any tattoos? - oh hell yes i have like a backlog of tattoos i want

✂️ - Got any Piercings? - snakebites, industrial, rook, lobes x3

✌ - Want any piercings? - occasionally i think about a nose ring, but nah, i’m happy with the ones i have

👌 - Best friend? - i live with one of them, and the other lives on the other side of canada :’)

♥ - Do you like anyone? - lmao nah

🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands? - KSJHDSAK kay i’m putting these in no particular order, cause it’s hard enough limiting it just to five, let alone determine a favourite. also this is subject to change at any given moment. twenty one pilots, weezer, alexisonfire, linkin park(💔), one direction anD HAHAHAHA I’M COUNTING THEIR SOLO CAREERS AS PART OF THIS FIGHT ME

🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs? - this is even fucking worse than trying to limit my top five bands alfhdalfhlsjdkf i’m gonna go with the top five songs that i currently keep listening to on repeat (again, no particular order)top - addict with a pensleeping at last - saturnniall horan - seeing blind ft maren morristop - a car, a torch, a deathpale waves - television romance

😒 - Biggest pet peeve? - forgetting about plans (i literally do nothing with my life so like, when i make plans with someone, i'm really really looking forward to it)

📝 - Story from your childhood. - so when we got our family cat, i really wanted to call her cookie. but my mom decided on sophie, and i was highkey offended because i wanted a cute non human name like cookie??? but it’s hilarious now, because i only name animals by human names

💬 - I wish… - i wish i could afford to have more cats in my life

‼️ - Something you’ll change? - ...the amount of cats in my life

💦 - What makes you horny? - i literally had to finish these questions and come back to this lmao. physically, arms and nice hair i guess. otherwise, jfc idk, i’ma go real lame and say personality. idk how the fuck i get turned on okay, it just happens sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

��� - A wish you’ll wish for? - m o r e  c a t s  i n  m y  l i f e

🔥 - Something spicy you like? - fuckIN INDIAN FOOD (i’m eating some curry i made right now lmao) shoutout to other east asian spicy foods

👃 You hate the smell of …. - idk fertilizer

👊 - Something you hate? - myself lmao #relatable am i rite

🚶 - Are you single? - yup

💬 - Can we text? - i have no idea who you are

💌 - Fan mail me? - again, i have no idea who you are

💍 - Marry me? - i literalLY DON’T KNOW WHO THIS IS 

💘 - Be my tumblr crush? - ^^^^^^^^^^^^

💭 - Favorite foods? - indian foods, bagels, cereal, ramen, sushi

☀ - Story about your day. - my cat tomi is having one of those days where he decides he’s going to be a gigantic piece of shit. he keeps coming over to me and yelliNG, reaching up to my desk and trying to knock things off. he keeps trying to get in fights with the other cat too. currently, i can hear him getting up to shit in the living room

💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes? kay so there aren’t enough “celebrities” of sorts that i have that traditional celeb crush on that set my loins ablaze SO here have a list of celebrities that my ass will stan until the day i die because of their raw talent and for the way they treat those around them: tyler joseph, harry styles, uhhhh, josh dun, louis tomlinson, niall horan

🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies? ah fuck. spirited away, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, and i’d be doing my child self a disservice if i didn’t include the nightmare before christmas, ace ventura when nature calls, and fantasia (the three movies that truly shaped me as a person)

📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows? - i’m about to expose my nerd ass lmao. in no particular order - avatar the last airbender, dragonball z, card captor sakura, battlestar galactica (the 2004 remake also this just reminded me it’s been a while since my last rewatch *heavy breathing*), and, uh, idk, mr bean?

✏ - Random fact about yourself. - am very musically inclined. percussion instruments is my home (piano included in this, cause it’s a percussion instrument thanks)

✈️ - Where are you from? - canada, north of toronto

🚀 - Where do you wanna visit? - germany and more of canada

😍 - Do you have a crush? - lmao no

😷 - Something you hate eating? - fuck kay i’m actually a really picky eater and because i’ve been working around it for years i always forget what foods i hate. uhh. turnips?

🙈 - What makes you shy? - people, but that’s directly related to my social anxiety ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

💃 - Can you dance? - i mean, i CAN, but is it any good? no

💏 - Do you love anyone? - YEEE i love my friends and family (animals count as family)

👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear? - i finally got real converse and i  l o v e  t h e m

🌴 - A island you would visit? - when it comes to like, traditional island type things, that’s like, warm places, and i’m not particularly a fan of warm places. like beachy vacation places? nah fam. so like, the kinds of islands i’d want to visit would be countries like japan or ireland

🌎 - A country you would visit? - g e r m a n y

🌀 - Favorite type of weather? - fall, when the leaves aren’t green anymore and some have fallen, and it’s a little windy, and it’s the kind of temperature where you go out in the morning with a jacket, but in the afternoon don’t really need the jacket

🔮 - Do you believe in luck? - kinda?

📱 - What kinda phone do you have? - i literally just bought my roomie’s old lg g4 off him

📅 - Favorite time of the year? - fuckin october because fall and SPOOP SEASON

📚 - Career goal you want? - ...lmao. one that lets me afford to adopt mature cat babes to love and care for

🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat? i immediately wanna say indian, but i feel like it’s biased cause i’m eating it right now

🍭 - Favorite Candy? - probs sour patch kids

🍇 - Favorite fruits? - bananas? apples? kiwi?????

🚘 - Dream car(s)? - a functioning car that is one solid colour

🚔 - Have you ever been arrested? - nah but i’ve been in cahoots with the law for dumb shit

🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before? - this question is phrased weird and it’s making my brain fucky. but i’ve been taken somewhere in an ambulance before, yes

🎫 - Do you have a license? - yee i have my full driving license as well as my boating license (lol)

🚼 - Do you have or want kids? - nO only animal frens

🔞 - Are you under 18? - nah

🐶 - Do you own a pet? - ngl i don’t like the phrasing of “owning a pet” buT i do live with animal babes that are under my care :3

😔 - Something that makes you sad? - thinkin about all the animal babes at animal shelters that don’t get adopted cause they’re not babies or they’re a little broken D8

😡 - What pisses you off? - boy howdy that’s a loaded question. lets go with a nice blanket response of “the state of the world”

😏 - What turns you on? - go back to the horny one

😈 - Are you a freak? - this is a very subjective question. to normies? yeah. in the sheets? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

💪 - Do you work out? - like bimonthly when i decide i’m gonna look after myself better lol  

[uclaradio]

Interview with Elephante

Elephante in the UCLA Radio Station, 2016. 

Interviewed by Alexis Chung 

I recently got to sit down with Tim Wu, better known as Elephante, at Beyond Wonderland 2018 to talk about his experience with college, being an Asian American, and finding his passion for EDM. Wu, who attended Harvard University and worked at a corporate job post graduation, eventually took the leap to pursue music full time. He will be making his EDC Las Vegas debut this upcoming May.

Is there anything you would want to say to your college self?

It’s really hard for me to regret any of the decisions that I made because I’ve been incredibly lucky. Growing up as a young Asian boy, being a musician’s not like a thing. That’s not an option, it’s not even in the realm of possibility, right? I’ve loved music growing up and I’ve been writing songs since I was in middle school and so it was something I loved doing, but it was like, “Alright well, now you’ve gotta get a real job and go to school.” I’ve been very lucky but finally making the leap and being like, “You know who knows what’s going to happen but I gotta give this a shot and if I don’t I’ll never forgive myself.” I had that realization relatively later on in my life but once you go for it, you kind of realize like, “Oh, the world isn’t going to end. You can figure it out, you can make things happen for yourself.” So honestly, it might sound cheesy but you know man, you’re young, go for it. Honestly it’s worth it to give it a shot. 

And for your timeline of events, do you think you had to go through the three years of working at a corporate job for you to realize that this is what you wanted to do? Do you ever wish you found EDM earlier?

I mean literally everyday I see a new eighteen year old headlining Tomorrowland and I’m like, “God.” I will say the one thing it makes me know for sure is that any time I have a bad day or I’m stressed out, or I’m like “Why am i doing this?” I already know what the other option is, right? I already tried to have a normal life and sit at a desk and I know the worst day I have making music is better than the best day I had at that job. So for me it’s like a constant reminder of like, “Oh no you gotta make this work.” It’s like, “Alright well you’re jumping off without a parachute and you better start flapping your wings because you’re not going back.”

So if you were to ever change something in the past it would basically change who you are as a person today?

Yeah I think it’s like a slippery slope to go down, right? Because I really like my life and I’m very thankful and fortunate for what I get to do. But at the same time, you can’t help but think like, “Hey, maybe if I went to music school I’d be hanging out with Martin Garrix right now.” In music you draw on your life experience, right? And it’s all part of what I do but I will say that for anyone who’s thinking about stuff like that or scared to try something new: you can do it. The fear of doing it is often greater than the actual challenges that you end up facing.

Have you ever cried to your own song?

I’ve cried because I’ve spent so long on it. When I work on a song I’ve listened to it so many times that you become numb to it, right? It’s like if you say the same word over and over again it kind of loses its meaning in your head. So when you listen to the same eight bars for literally a thousand times in a row it’s really hard to examine it as a first time listener. I look at songs when they’re done very differently than someone listening to it for the first time. And for a long time, every time I’d be done with a song it was when I hated it so much that I couldn’t work on it anymore. So it took me a long time for my first EP. I think it happened like, two or three months ago when I finally sat down and listened through the whole thing and I was like, “Okay this is pretty good.” There are things that I would still change and there are things where I was like, “Ugh, I can’t believe that made it through.” In general, I kind of forgot that nitty gritty of like, “Should the snares be like this?” where I would literally go back and forth like a hundred times and then forget what the whole point of it was in the first place. So going back and just being able to take it in as a whole piece of art, I was like “Okay, this is pretty good.”

Do you ever get nervous performing?

That’s funny, you should ask because I was just telling my friends that I literally had like a panic attack halfway through my set. It was short and I was like, “It’s going to be okay,” but it definitely comes and goes. I mean I’ve played so many shows at this point but there’s always that fear that you’re gonna get up there and they’re going to hate what you do. Maybe it’s an irrational fear but it’s part of not taking anything for granted and not assuming that you’re just gonna go up there and spin gold every time you’re on stage. There have been disasters before for sure so sometimes you’re just trying to get through it. I try and just like step back and try to enjoy the moment and be like, “This is really cool.” I mean I guess it’s also like I hope I don’t mess things up. Same thing when I’m releasing music it’s like, “I hope people like this.” I think it’s probably from being kind of a control freak. Because when I’m in the studio it’s like, “Okay, everything is on me.” I work with other people but at the end of the day the final decisions are all mine and so it’s like same thing when I’m on stage. There’s no one else responsible for this and at the end of the day I’m the one making the final cut. Look, at the beginning of my career I put out a new remix every three weeks, so every three weeks I was making a certain remix or making a song and I would put everything I had into it. It was the best thing that I could do and I would finish and I would be like, “I will never make anything better than this,” and I would release it and no one would care.

Did you know that you wanted to make music from the start or was it a passion that you cultivated over the years? Do you think passion is predestined or something you constantly have to rediscover?

So to the first part: I’ve always loved music ever since I was a kid. I took piano lessons, I was playing guitar in middle school, that was sort of the thing I loved. I recently found out that when I was a baby if I was crying or whatever my mom would put Fantasia on and sit me in front and by the time I was four or five I must’ve watched Fantasia a hundred times. Instead of watching Blues Clues or whatever I was just watching Fantasia and I would think that would probably have something to do with it as a young boy with my brain developing and just listening to music. So, it’s always been the thing that has excited me and interested me and I wanted to learn how to make this. To the second part, I think that you’re passionate about the things that you are getting better at and the things that you excel at. That can be your passion too so I think it’s a combination. I’ve been passionate about music ever since I was a kid but the way that I express myself in that music has changed. So before I was playing guitar and singing and now I’m producing music or producing EDM and then I will spend like a week learning songs on piano again. The exciting part to me is that at the end of the day when you’re making something, you’ve made something that you’ve never made before and to me there’s so much to learn about it and there’s such a world that even now I still don’t understand. I’ll listen to a song and be like, “How did they do that?” and then down the rabbit hole I go and that part of it has stayed the same.

Not a lot of Asian Americans have made it as far as you have in the EDM industry. Is the lack of Asian representation something you have noticed or is it something that doesn’t really matter among you and your peers?

I’ve found the EDM community to be very accepting of minorities and I think that’s one of the amazing things about dance music, is that it started out as outcast culture you know? So it’s very accepting and embracing of people from different walks of life and so I think there are a lot of young Asian American artists who are doing great things. In broader culture I try not to think about it too much but it is true, name one male, non-comedy, non-kung fu actor, it’s like John Cho, but that’s it. Bringing it full circle, it’s not an option to be a musician or to be an artist really and for a lot of my Asian American friends it’s the same way. From a young age it’s like okay, you’re gonna go to school and you’re going to become a doctor or a lawyer and that’s great, there’s no shame in that but I think that there are people out there where that’s not that biggest contribution that they can have to society, they could be making amazing things and it doesn’t have to fit into one of those pre-prescribed sort of stereotypes of what an Asian should do.

Were you parents pretty accepting when you wanted to quit your job?

My mom was extremely accepting. She knew how miserable I was and she was like, “Well you’re not going to kill yourself if you do this so that’s good.” I think they were definitely worried, they didn’t quite understand and I think it was like well, “I hope he gets through this phase and doesn’t get addicted to heroin,” and then once they saw that things were going pretty well and that I hadn’t asked therm for money in the entire first three years that I was doing it they were like, “Oh I guess he can do it.” I think they still worry everyday but what are you going to do.

[tdotrenae]

Man Crush of the Month: Tavon

Happy November!!! This is one of my favorite months – not just because of Thanksgiving but because Tavon is our Man Crush of the Month! He is such a sweet guy, I really adore him so much. He is a single, 23-year-old from Warner Robins, Georgia. He absolutely loves being a dad! He also loves to cook and do spoken word. He also is a huge sneaker head and is addicted to shoe-shopping. Something that is interesting about Tavon is that he is a Chef, owns multiple businesses and is a movie junkie!

How would you describe your personality in three words?

Giving, Goofy, Spontaneous

Which do you prefer to listen to your heart or your brain? Why?

My heart. Your brain doesn’t have that “instinct” to judge personal situations.

Who is your celebrity crush?

Fantasia – Country, Thick and Chocolate.

Who do you think should make the first move – males or females? Why?

I’m from the Deep South – where chivalry is extremely serious at least to me. So, males should make the first move in my opinion.

What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? What did you learn?

6 years, sometimes it’s just best to walk away and not force things. Forcing something leads to resentment.

What motivational words would you tell someone on the come-up?

It’s not gonna be easy, but keep God first and push through.

What’s the most awkward date that you’ve been on?

I didn’t know she had a boyfriend, but we ran into him on our date. And she didn’t know her boyfriend had a boyfriend who happened to also be on a date. It was weird.

Where do you se yourself in the next five years?

Married and opening up my 3rd or 4th restaurant and opening up my 2nd or 3rd detailing garage.

What do you usually do to let a girl know that you are interested in her?

I speak directly to her, Steph Curry at all times.

What is your favorite and least favorite things about yourself?

I love how outgoing I am and I hate how naiver I am (I think everyone is my friend).

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

My dad, he taught me how to be a man before he was killed. Then my son, he made me a better man.

What’s your personal theme song?

Don’t laugh, but it’s Rich Gang – Lifestyle.

What are you lifetime ambitions?

Just to be successful and be the best father I can be.

What are your career goals?

Build something that my family can keep running when I’m gone.

Why do men often overlook the average girl?

The generation we live in glorifies the wrong girl. We don’t know what a real woman is because we overlook them.

Why do guys tend to hide your feelings and not fully express them?

Pride. Simply put, it’ll make you lose out on a lot.

What are your forms of self-care?

I personally lift weights and play with my son.

What are you most afraid of living in today’s society?

Falling by the way-side. Not living up to my expectations or potential.

How do you seize and take advantage of every single day?

Take it one minute at a time. Schedules help you out a lot too.

What do you feel men aren’t recognized enough for?

Being fathers, fathers are automatically looked at as a “no-no.”

What is the most discouraging part about being a man? How do you deal with it?

We’re looked at as something we’re not a times. It’s okay for a guy to feel hurt at times.

What’s one thing you want the world to know about you and who you are?

I’m an educated black man and a full time father. I’ve made mistakes but I am not a bad person.

Want to connect with Tavon – Here’s his social media:

To check out all of Tavon’s pictures follow his instagram

Tavon’s Adventures Via Snapchat and Via Twitter

Or Add him on Facebook – Tavon James

from Man Crush of the Month: Tavon

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, 04.21.2007 + 04.22.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week. today: songs i... like? that are... good? ???

4.21.2007

7) "What I've Done," Linkin Park

Ah, yes, the era of Sensitive Linkin Park. When Linkin Park replaced the teenage angst with, I guess, adult angst? What do we want to call this? Decidedly non-specific hand-wringing? "I did something bad!" Okay, what did you do? "A bad thing!" Yeah but we've all done bad things? "As long as we don't say what bad thing we did, you can relate your own dark secrets!" Oh okay cool thank you for the opportunity, Chester.

65) "Stolen," Dashboard Confessional

So here's how I justify being a little into this song after giving Big & Rich shit for making a "gosh, I sure love the woman I'm getting married to" song. One, I'm an emokid from way back, and this is that wuss-ass poetry shit I need, even if I wasn't that into it way back when. ("Don't Wait" wasn't really a jam, and it put me off purchasing Dusk & Summer, so.) I'll openly admit I'm predisposed to enjoy this song more. Two, I might be misinterpreting this song as being about a wedding, like I could actually be wrong about my interpretation, so it's more complex than the Big & Rich song where the dude literally says the preacher talked to Jesus. Three, "Lost in This Moment" is just about the moment. We don't know who any of those people are, short of the fact everyone's super into Jesus and the bride and groom love each other. Here, there's a clear setting (wedding reception at the end of summer), there's a small lyric thrown in there that lets you know, even at their own wedding, the couple feels mischievous, so they're more fully-realized people ("crash the best one/of the best ones"), and Dashboard Confessional takes the time to state that there's more to their love than this specific moment, that this is what they've been working for and what they want to be ("our dreams assured and we all/will sleep well, sleep well"). I never realized how into this song until I sat down and thought about it.

81) "Kiss the Girl," Ashley Tisdale

What in the absolute fuck did I just listen to. I don't think I've felt this way about a song since I heard "Pokemon Christmas Bash" for the first time.

83) "Diamonds," Fabolous ft./Young Jeezy

I don't wanna talk about this song, this song kinda blows, can we talk about "Breathe?" Can we talk about "Breathe," Fabolous' 2003 song that far outpaces most of the rest of his catalogue? "Breathe" is a fucking amazing song, and I have no idea where it came from. Does any artist have as glaring an outlier as Fabolous' "Breathe?" I'm struggling to come up with one. I'm just going to listen to "Kiss the Girl" and "Breathe" on repeat for the next few hours, BRB. "Secret Service me with some of that Lewinsky love." Absolutely not! Ugh, that's not even a hack line in 2017, that was hack in 2007, that would've been hack in 2002.

84) "Makes Me Wonder," Maroon 5

Like all Maroon 5 songs, this is acceptable.

91) "Release," Timbaland ft./Justin Timberlake

I didn't have to listen to this. I hadn't heard this song before, but I heard this song a thousand times before I sat down with it. I could have guessed. "This was gonna sound awfully loud and busy, Timbaland was gonna try to rap and bless his little heart, and it would be a party jam that I'm probably not qualified to discuss since I don't party." I could have written that and lied about having listened to this song, but I need to come by this displeasure honestly, for reasons.

94) "Find Out Who Your Friends Are," Tracy Lawrence

Four songs ago I was listening to "Kiss the Girl" and the world was a magical place where love was real. I want to go back. I want to go back to that land of awkward dancing and spunky pop guitar riffs. I hate this world where some fucking dude tells me if my truck breaks down someone, not necessarily him but someone, can fix it. Great. Great, OK. That's useful, I will do something with this information. Forgetting is doing something.

95) "Apologize," Timbaland ft./OneRepublic

I heard the original version of "Apologize" on Alternative Addiction in summer 2006 I think? And I loved that song, and I wanted more people to hear this song, because I thought it was really impressive. ...I don't want to say Monkey's Paw? But this feels like a wish made on a cursed monkey's paw. I didn't want it like this. Why would I ever want it like this. Why would I ever want this song to get big because Timbaland said, "Hey, I think I can add twelve different things to this, really take it over the top." Like, for me, this was the only thing I got between the release of "Apologize" and the release of OneRepublic's debut a year and a half later, was this nonsense, and you can't imagine my disappointment that this was the only new OneRepublic thing I had for a year and a half, especially since it turned out that OneRepublic was OneRepublic.

99) "When I See U," Fantasia

R&B isn't one of my main genres, as I'm sure you can tell, so I've largely missed out on the career arc of the last true American Idol, as it's taken place entirely on that chart. I clearly need to get reacquainted. R&B isn’t something I come to easily. I like songs that go 1000 miles an hour on a path to DIZZYING EMOTIONAL HIGHS and that’s not something R&B really does, it slowly burns until there’s a full-on fire, and the fire crackles gently but still has devastating power, and while I’m not here saying Fantasia did just that with this song, I’m saying there’s enough I love about this song that I’m sure I can find some song in Fantasia’s oeuvre which does the thing, ‘cuz man, this song almost did it for me. (How often do I pull “I’m not saying, I’m just saying” bullshit? I need to see if that’s a tic I should edit out. Fucking own an opinion, dude, jiminy.)

The Top 20 singles of 2007 through this week: 20) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 19) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 18) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 17) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 16) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 15) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 14) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 13) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 12) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 11) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 10) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 9) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 8) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 7) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 6) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 5) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 4) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 3) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 2) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 1) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) Some tough cuts -- so long, "Get It Shawty," we knew you well -- but the cuts are only tough since 2007 really stepped up its game, and after next week, it'll have a fairly unfuckwitable Top 20. 2017 better respond well.

4.22.2017

2) "HUMBLE." by Kendrick Lamar

So, relative to the rest of Kendrick Lamar's catalogue, I understand why the Internet would be angry at this song, but relative to the world at large, this is kinda just not a great song? Even setting aside the lyrical content, this song is bleh, something that sounds more like a throwaway than even anything on untitled.unmastered. From a lyrical standpoint, it's misguided and has some bad opinions, but Kodak Black has a legitimate hit record and two other songs debuting this week, and XXXTENTACION is rising in popularity. This is a smart man doing something dumb. I dunno, I'm just not really in the business of punishing a dude for not being woke all the time. Insomnia is a disease, y'know? I don't think this song is worth getting angry at. It's worth a stern lecture, to be sure, but we need to fix the clear and present problems before we set our sights on what is merely problematic. It's a bad song. People make bad songs sometimes.

53) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris

...I hate how into this I am. I listened to the Static Version. Is that the reason this is such a jam? This is basically the best pop duet in years. (The term 'duet' is being used here loosely. Maren Morris harmonizes and at one point goes "yeah" real loud.) It's so good, I can't even use this as a launching pad for a complaint about bro country, though, of course, the reason it's so good is that it does away with any pretense of being a country song. Like this is bubblegum-ass pop right here. This track would have been right at home on E MO TION Side B. (Not on E MO TION proper, of course, that album is Perfect (and now that opinion is a matter of YAS record), but this kinda reminds me of something that would be on a more dramatic version of Side B.) And I 100% get behind it? I'm behind this! Why the fuck not!

59) "Everybody," by Logic

Y'know what, I said 2017 needed to step its game up, and by golly, here we are, with a Kendrick song (Kendrick's C-game being better than most dude's A-games; to use The Sopranos as a point of comparison, "HUMBLE." is basically Kendrick's "Columbus," not a great song but still a Kendrick song), it had something that came out of nowhere to be among my favorites for the year so far, and we have this, which is just delightful! Evidently, I should have heard of Logic by now, but this seems as good an introduction as any.

60) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum

MORE. HORNS. IN. COUNTY. MUSIC. So, okay, first of all, I gotta note, the producer of this song, busbee, once made a song with Girl's Generation, so finally I know of the link between country and K-pop, ok now HORNS. Imagine how unnecessary this track would be without horns, if this were another country song with nothing to say but "it's nice when things are nice!" This gives it a dirty edge, but it somehow never feels skeezy, which is a miracle, considering, y'know, the dudes in Lady Antebellum. It took a little over a year but hey! Someone in the pop/country game listened to Sturgill Simpson! Better late than never!

75) "Tin Man," by Miranda Lambert

it's miranda lambert singing a sad country song with a wizard of oz metaphor, of course i'm into it

81) "Subeme La Radio," by Enrique Iglesias ft./Descemer Bueno, Zion & Lennox

Maybe it's because, of the four so far, this is the only one by an artist I've heard before, but I was less enchanted by this Latin pop song than I have been by the others. Even that Romeo Santos thing had its charm! I disagree with his choice to sound the way he does, but it's a choice he made that I still remember so really how bad a choice could it have been? This doesn't sound like anyone made a choice. It sounded like Enrique Iglesias just heaved a sigh and said, "Guess the fellas upstairs are expecting something. I dunno, people still use radios? Let's make a song about how they should turn the volume up on their radios. I don't know what we'll do for people who listen at max volume, but now at least we have the idea for album song two." According to the only English translation I am going to look up, the lyrics for this song features the line, "Time goes slow/And I'm gonna die." That is so not the vibe I got from this song.

88) "First Day Out," by Tee Grizzley

I really loved the way this song moved, like, the way it would switch it up every half-minute or so but still felt consistent, never felt like a thousand things were happening at once, and I thought the dude kept up with what the track wanted to do quite nicely. I'm. I don't know if he's a good rapper? I mean I won't pretend to know my stuff, again, I am out of my depth just wading into criticism on a technical level, but it sounded like he was talking over a beat for most of the song, and I can't tell if that's a relaxed flow or if the dude was just talking. And I KNOW he's a shit lyricist. He rhymed "blessing" with "happened," and immediately after that rhymed "status" with "castle." Like I'd be down with free verse, I think the world is ready for free verse rap, but then there’s eight consecutive bars end with the n-word? Like man, I think there's a lot to work with, I kinda wanna see where your whole thing goes, but boy, you sure amn't well-worded!

91) "The One," by The Chainsmokers

Please don’t make me listen to The Chainsmokers. I love "Closer" like I love few things in life. I thought "Roses" was fun. I could do without all these other Chainsmokers songs. Stop letting the dude from The Chainsmokers sing. He can't do it! He is unable to do it! He should not be carrying emotional ballads about letting someone go! Please tell me I'm not going to listen to ten other Chainsmokers songs next week. Oh god please tell me I do -- it's bullshit, because I can't take a principled moral stance like I'm about to take with Kodak Black, there is no ethical reason to not listen to the Chainsmokers, I will have to listen to every Chainsmokers song that comes on the chart, and it's BULLSHIT, because somewhere along the line y'all decided "Closer" wasn't an outlier. We all listened to "Closer," and that told the Chainsmokers people liked it when they were sensitive, and now next week, I'm going to have to listen to ten shitty EDM sad boy tracks, and all the good vibes I was feeling for 2017 are out the window because I can't believe the world is going to put me through that. Tell me this is the only cut from the album I have to endure, for the love of whatever gods you worship, tell me that.

93) "Conscience," by Kodak Black ft./Future 94) "Drowning," by A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ft./Kodak Black

As previously stated, I'm not listening to this dude's songs because I think he's a terrible monster and do not wish to support him more than I already have.

96) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande

and now THIS, somehow, is the best pop duet in years? how the fuck does a duet between young thug and ariana grande work. what dark fucking sorcery is this. calvin harris is 2/2 so far this year, and i just, it's so good! i don't get it! it's like when someone told me that peanut butter, sriracha, and green apple made a good sandwich. i didn't believe it, but i still tried it, and HOT DAMN THAT WAS A SANDWICH. there is no way all these people coming together should work, but here we are, it worked and i'm happy.

98) "How Not To," by Dan + Shay

even the music video for this song doesn't wanna listen to this song

100) "Human," by Rag'n'bone Man

So are Rag'n'bone Man and Kaleo gonna have to fight for the title of Gotye 2017? Or does Rag'n'bone Man recognize that having a name one can make sense of precludes him from consideration for Gotye 2017 and is content to let Kaleo ride with that title? I don't mind that there's two Gotyes, though, especially since this one's pretty dope. I knew this was gonna be cool when I saw "Fast Car" pop up in the recommended videos sidebar and it delivered on that promise. Hot damn, though, this was a fun week for 2017. Like, last week, "Swalla" did a second week in the Top 20, and this week, Rag'n'bone Man can't get in. Well met, friend.

Speaking of, I moved some things around in the 2017 Top 20 again because I haven’t had a decade to spend with these songs and figure out my relationship with them, I’m sort of judging what’s good and isn’t good as I go, and sometimes that means bouncing Ed Sheeran from the Top 20, y’know? 20) "Tin Man," by Miranda Lambert (4.22) 19) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 18) "Everybody," by Logic (4.22) 17) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 16) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande (4.22) 15) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 14) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum (4.22) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 10) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 9) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) Fucking Thomas Rhett in the top ten, this week was amazing and the worst.

WHO WON THE WEEK? 2017 took 2007 to the cleaners. It’s the first time either year has had the best bunch AND best individual song in the same week, and somehow, it’s a Thomas Rhett joint. I like “Stolen” more than I remember and “When I See U” more than I thought, but the top five from 2017 this week, man. Solid group, that. The problem, of course, is that next week, 2007 delivers an unassailable classic and two of my favorite songs from the year. 2017 may win battles, but it’s not quite prepped for war. 2017: 2 2007: 2