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ladyimaginarium · 9 months ago

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𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐀 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫 !

From left to right, top to bottom: Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3, Pile 4, Pile 5, & Pile 6!

Instructions: Use your intuition to pick a card that calls to you most, then scroll to the bottom underneath the read more and find your pile(s) to receive your message!

Disclaimer: take what resonates, leave the rest of what doesn't & don't force anything if it doesn't fit your situation, keep in mind that energy and outcomes can always change & nothing is forever set in stone, you have free will in every choice you make !! keep in mind that this is a general collective reading so the messages here may not apply to everyone. as a general message: my readings are for entertainment purposes only and don't replace professional medical/legal/business help. feedback and a review after a reading is given, whether public or private, is obligatory. you can do that by reblogging ( only if the reading was made for you specifically ), dming or emailing us privately on the matter. if you do not provide this, you will be added to my greylist and won't be given anymore readings, free or paid, until you give feedback. keep in mind it's more than okay to pick more than one pile if you feel you have messages in other piles! don't just leave this in the likes, reblog and support your tarot readers, my time and labour aren't for free. while it isn't necessary, if you'd like to tip, here's my p/ayp/al. I have personal paid readings available which you can fill out the form here so tips, bookings & feedback are highly appreciated considering i plan to do this for a living!

decks used: Disney Villains Tarot & Dark Wood Tarot & Pink Tarot & Killstar ( or as we lovingly call it Memento Mori ) Tarot & Horror Tarot & GANGSTA. Tarot.

Pile 1: You have Justice! First things first is the most obvious in terms of synchronicities: the movie Big Hero 6 may have some significance to you, or East Asian culture, particularly Japanese culture. You may either live in Japan or have traveled to or plan to travel to Japan. You may be born in San Francisco, California, or California as a whole may also be significant to you or you may be American. When I look at this card, my first intuitive thought is that you may be worried about the state of the world right now, and honestly, I wouldn't even blame you, so am I, but I need you to know that things are not hopeless. If you raise your voice and spread awareness to things that matter to you like the way things are going right now and you genuinely care about other people, then you're doing the right thing. You yourself could be an activist or at the very least if you're not officially one, you could care greatly about social justice. The number 11 could be significant to you. Justice is ruled by Libra so you may have those placements or someone you know or someone important to you could have those placements. On a less grander scale, I can see something being made right for you in a situation that's been going on in your life, I'm specifically seeing for a lot of you this could be a relationship - I'm mostly getting romantic relationships here but it could be a friendship dynamic - gone wrong or someone who refused to hire you for whatever reason. You'll likely either reconcile with someone or alternatively for some of you, you could be getting a better offer. Regardless, though, if this resonates with you, congrats, Pile 1, I'm so happy for you!!

Pile 2: You have The High Priestess! You may be intuitively drawn to the occult or your faith, should you have one, right now, and you may be isolating to look at the situations in your life introspectively. The color green may be significant to you. A feminine energy may be significant (it doesn't necessarily have to be a woman!), whether it's a mother, a sister, a girlfriend, an elderly woman, an ancestor of yours or maybe even a feminine deity who wants to reach out to you. You yourself may be interested into getting into tarot and I say if that applies to you, go for it! The number 2 may be significant, it may be a date of the month that's significant, something could happen in 2 days or 2 weeks or 2 months, or, alternatively, since February is the second month of the year, something important could be happening this February! Cancer, Scorpio & Pisces may be significant, you may have those in your placements or someone you know may have those placements considering its ruled by the Moon.

Pile 3: You have Strength! This is completely random but I'm getting that at least some of you who get this card and picked this pile are furries, otherkin, alterhuman and/or someone who has animal deities that they follow. Some of you may literally be lionkind if you're otherkin or you may have a lion as a fursona if you're a furry or if you are a system, you may have a system member who's a lion. You may also be neurodivergent, I'm getting for a lot of y'all autistic specifically, considering the infinity symbol. The color pink may be significant to you because this is my pink tarot deck. I'm getting that if you practice and believe in crystal healing, get some rose quartz, especially if you want to attract love, especially romantic love, into your life. Lions may pose some significance to you, and if not lions, then felines. You yourself may have a cat. You may be spending more time with your cats. The Lion King may be significant. For very few of you you may actually work with wild animals, especially big cats, which if that's the case that's literally so cool! This was what I read for someone last month when I told y'all that you'd have to be resilient in something you're doing because someone may be testing your patience and I'm getting that again. Make sure to set healthy boundaries with someone if necessary! Leo may be significant, whether you have those in your natal chart or someone you know has those placements. The number 8 could be significant, something could happen in 8 days which is little over a week from when you're reading this. This is random, too, but I'm getting an intuitive hit to buy flowers for yourself if you're alone by yourself on Valentine's Day if you're reading this by the time this post is written. Someone may want to give you flowers, or flowers in general may be significant to you. Regardless, though, I know for a fact that you'll be slaying anyway no matter what you do! SLAY!

Pile 4: You have The World! I'm immediately getting that you're about to or already have completed a cycle in your life and to that I say congratulations, Pile 4!! I'm getting a ringing in my right ear so that just confirms it!! Maybe you've FINALLY managed to achieve something you've wanted to do, maybe you're feeling a little more at ease in this new chapter in your life. For some of you I'm getting that you may have moved to a new place! If that applies, that's awesome, Pile 4!! The number 21 could be significant, you yourself could be 21 or something could happen on the 21st of a month. The Earth element rules The World may be significant, so Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn may be significant to you, and since Saturn rules The World, Capricorn and Aquarius may also be significant to you, whether you have any of those placements yourself, or someone else you know may have them. The symbol of Ouroboros may be significant to you, too. Regardless, though, I say y'all are doing wonderfully and I'm hoping y'all will stay on the top of the world !!

Pile 5: You have The Chariot! You may be struggling to move forward with a decision you've made or maybe even debating on what to choose. Usually in the traditional Rider Waite tarot there's two horses representing two choices, that isn't present here as there's only one horse here. To that I say follow your heart and your intuition most of all and it won't lead you astray. I'm getting this... very specific message for a lot of you, but I need y'all to know this, okay? It's okay to leave the past behind. It's okay to let go. Horses may be of significance to you. For very few of you I'm getting you may be equestrians or have ancestors who were equestrians, notably Mongolians and Scythians or any of the Plains Turtle Island Indigenous Nations, but that definitely won't apply to everyone. For some of you the Celtic deity Epona or perhaps even The Legend of Zelda may be significant because I'm getting The Legend Of Zelda: Wind Waker's opening theme playing in my head ehehe. The Chariot is ruled by Cancer so Cancer may be significant to you, and the number 7 may be significant, something could be happening a week from now when you're reading this which is what I'm getting for a lot of you and for others your birthday could be the 7th of a month, alternatively, you could be born in July. You've got this!

Pile 6: You have The Empress! HOOO BOY I'm getting for a lot of you who picked this pile, y'all may be lesbians and/or sapphics of some kind because I just got, like, psychically blasted in the face with some really gay shit and specifically sapphic yearning LMAO. I don't know, I'm just getting that vibe and not just from the character Gina Paulklee from GANGSTA. herself who she herself is canonically a lesbian/sapphic. For a few of you, the animanga series GANGSTA. may be significant to you, or you may want to read/watch it as you may find some messages in there that may be important to you. For some of y'all, a strong maternal figure could be significant like a mother, an aunt or even a deity who's really powerful who may be trying to reach out... I'm getting Athena (Hellenismos) and Sekhmet (Kemeticism) for a lot of y'all, and for fewer of you, I'm getting Amaterasu (Shinto), Hera (Hellenismos), Hathor (Kemeticism), the Morrigan (Celtic Paganism), Freyja (Asatru), Oshun (Yoruba Ifa, Candomble & Santeria, Black/Afro-Latine exclusive, if you're nonblack don't touch!), and Sky Woman (Huron-Iroquois/Haudenosaunee, if you're nonnative or not a member of any of these nations don't touch!) so any of these deities may be significant to you. If it doesn't apply, let it fly. You could be in your divine feminine energy (everyone has this energy inside them regardless of gender, sex, orientation or presentation!) and stepping into your own personal power. Some of y'all may be exploring sensuality and your own sexuality or for any of my lesbians/sapphics in this pile, you may be getting a girlfriend. This my baddie pile and I don't necessarily mean in an Instagram baddie way (and you don't have to be a woman to be a baddie!) although you could fit or like that aesthetic, but I moreso mean in the sense that you're gaining confidence in yourself and what you do, and in other words, you really are That Bitch TM & I'm so happy for y'all if that applies !! The Earth element rules The Empress so that may be significant, so Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn may be significant to you, and Venus rules The Empress and for some of y'all I'm getting that Aphrodite (Hellenismos) and/or Venus (Religio Romana) literally may be wanting to reach out to you to work with you if you don't already. The number 3 may also be significant, so something could be happening in March as its the third month of the year and as I'm posting this the month after this month, alternatively, the 3rd of a month may be significant, or something could be happening in 3 days from now, or weeks or months, but I'm getting for y'all it's likely 3 days. With that said, that's about all I have for your reading, thank you so much for being here!

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actuallysaiyan · 5 months ago

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Part 2 of the Shout outs from me! I hope I don't miss anyone and if I do, please know it's because my brain is no good and I want to celebrate everyone but I am soooo poor at remembering people's names. If we've EVER interacted, talked, or you even liked one of my things, just know that I ADORE YOU!!!

Once more, in no particular order

@seireiteihellbutterfly What can I say??? Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and reaching out to me when I was so damn lonely a few months ago. You are so ridiculously talented and I love you!! Thank you for being a confidante and a very wonderful friend!

@carnal-lnstinct who might be one of the best Dragon Ball writers in this damn place. I will never be able to thank you for all the inspiration, especially when it comes to I Think You're Holding The Heart Of Mine. Without the initial Work!Husband!Nanami thirst you sent in, I don't think that fic would have ever been conceived.

@sparklynightm4re thank you for being a genuine friend and a genuine sweetheart! Your comments and requests and messages really help me get through the tough times! You are a gem!

@badsweetangel thank you for being a great friend and always popping up in my life whenever I need a reminder that there are still such awesome people out there!

@gloryhole93 for being so supportive with my Junji Ito x JJK fic and just being so amazing!! Thank you for messaging me about it and encouraging me to continue even if all I had was one little thing posted about it! Thanks for the awesome art you drew too!

@hirothemetrosexo I truly appreciate you and I know we don't always talk, but I couldn't have gone this far without your sweet words and your friendship!

@ricflairdrip20 Thank you for being such a good friend to me for so long and helping me see the hotness within those Sand Village men <<_<< Though most of them may be evil, they are so damn sexy!

@sacredwarrior88 who's always looking out for me and always trying to uplift me. Thank you for the awesome requests and awesome messages. I am truly thankful for you <3

@reallymellowtrash thank you for being a good friend and always sending in the CRAZIEST(I mean this in the best way possible) thirsts! You make me think up things I never would have imagined before. Vegeta and Kento in one thirst??? Oh my how I never thought of the possibility!!

@starsinmylatte thank you for being a sweet friend and a fellow horror lover. I'm glad I interacted with you and we got to talking and got to know each other better! You are seriously talented my friend!!!

@delirious-donna <333 You are so talented and so precious and very sweet! Your posts and writing make my day so much brighter and I just love seeing you on my dash whenever you're there! Thank you for being so awesome!

Going to end this shout out post here! More to come!!! This I promise! Many more people to shout out!!!!

#bacon.shout outs #thank you everyone for being amazing #7k followers event

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fangirlingfromdownunder · 2 years ago

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Fatherly Comfort

Summary - Part 10 in the Comfort series

Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader, Reader x Sam (platonic), Reader x Bobby (father-figure)

Warnings - slight angst, mentions of pregnancy

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

A/N - G’day guys, I just wanna start by thanking you for all the likes, reblogs and follows since my last post, I really appreciate it. I hope you like this one too. And remember my inbox is always open for requests or even if you just wanna chat. Until next week, enjoy!

Night falls and morning rises and Dean still hasn’t returned. You’re sitting in the kitchen alone sipping a cup of tea when Sam walks in half asleep.

“Have you heard from Dean?”

“Sorry, Y/N, I haven’t. I thought he would’ve been back by now. He’s probably sleeping off a hangover in the Impala somewhere. I’m sure he’ll come home soon.”

“You don’t think he would’ve gone back to his old habits, do you? You don’t think he’s in some other woman’s bed right now? I mean, he said one-night stands are easier…”

“No, no, no way. Dean loves you, so much. No matter how upset or hurt, he would never. Just give him time, he’ll be back.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

Sam pours himself a cup of coffee and makes his way into the library, leaving you alone again. You try Dean’s phone again but you just get the message bank. So you call Bobby instead. Much like how he’s the boy’s surrogate father, he had taken you in quickly too. He answers on the second ring.

“Hey, kiddo, what’s up? What have those Idjits done now?”

“Hey, Bobby, I need some advice, I don’t know what to do.”

“Was it Dean? Did he hurt you?”

“Honestly, I think it’s my fault. Do you think I could come stay with you for a while?”

“You know you’re always welcome here. I’ll make up the guest room and stock the fridge.”

“Thanks, Bobby.”

“Anytime, kid.”

You go to your room and pack a bag, ensuring to slip in your knife and gun just in case. You stop by the library on your way to the garage.

“I can’t sit here and just wait for him to come back. I’m gonna go stay with Bobby for a few days, maybe he knows where Dean is. If he comes back here just tell him to call me.”

“That’s a six-hour trip, do you want me to come with you?”

“I need some time to myself. I have my silver knife and gun, I can handle myself.”

“Please, let me come with you. Dean will kill me if he finds out I let you out of here on your own.”

“I’m not a child, Sam. In fact, I am having one. I can look after myself,” you turn to walk out.

Sam follows you to the garage. “Fine. But call me whenever you stop and when you get to Bobby’s. I’m gonna be tracking your cell also.”

“I will. Thanks, Sam.”

He pulls you in for a brief hug. You pull away and hop into the bright red vintage car, tossing your bag on the back seat.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Around six hours later you drive into the Singer Salvage yard. You’re utterly exhausted. Bobby comes out to meet you, opening the door for you before spotting your bag and grabbing it off the back seat.

“You look exhausted, kid. Come on inside and have a drink.”

You’re so drained you just nod and follow him inside. He takes your bag upstairs to the guest room before joining you on the couch with two open beers. You take one but you don’t drink it, you just swap the bottle from hand to hand inspecting it.

“What this cheap stuff ain’t good enough for ya anymore? That boy been spoilin’ you?”

“No, I’ve actually just recently given up drinking.”

“A hunter that doesn’t drink? That’s new. He knocked you up, didn’t he?”

You don’t say anything. You put the beer on the side table and grab a cushion, pulling it close to your chest. Tears start to well up again as you take a deep breath.

“Aw, darlin’, does he know?”

You nod.

“Alright, then what are you doing on my couch?”

“I’m not sure if I should keep it.”

“And Dean?”

“We had a fight about it…I haven’t heard from him since. He has been nothing but supportive, he wants this baby so badly and I know I hurt him when I mentioned thinking about an abortion.

He said that our relationship was a bad idea and that one-night stands are easier. I’m scared, Bobby. What if he-”

“I’ve known that boy since he was a kid, he’s loyal to a fault and he loves you. If I know that boy then he’s driving around trying to find a way to disperse all the evil from the world so you have no reason to doubt keeping this baby. Deep down this has always been his dream, and now that there’s a chance of it coming true he’s gotta be struggling. Then you go and say you want to take that dream away from him?”

“Yeah…”

“I also can see where you’re coming from. You’re scared, unsure of how you’re gonna protect your child. Unsure of whether Dean will be able to give all this up and live a normal life with you? Am I close?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, let me tell you something. Those are fears every expectant parent has. I may not have had the chance to have children of my own but you three are pretty close to it. And even without all the demons and spirits and ghouls, I’d still worry about you being safe. Parents worry about how to protect their children from getting sick or hurt. That’s completely normal.”

“So you’re saying for the first time in ages I’m experiencing something completely normal?”

“More or less. Listen, you’ll always worry about the safety of your child, regardless of demons and such, but at least they’ll be surrounded by family who will protect them with their lives and do everything they can to keep them safe from all of this and anything else that comes their way.”

“Thanks, Bobby.”

“Aw hell, it’s getting late and I haven’t even fed you yet. What can I get you?”

“I’d love a pizza, but I think the bean would disagree. Just think of anything Sam would eat and get me that.”

“You got the morning sickness, huh?”

“Unfortunately…”

“Alright, I’ll be back soon. You know the drill, make yourself at home.”

After Bobby leaves you pull out your phone and try to call Dean again. You get the message bank again, but instead of hanging up, you leave a message. “Hey Dean, it’s me, I’m worried about you and I miss you. Please call me, we need to talk. I love you, and I love the idea of raising this baby together, you keep saying we’ll do this together and I believe you-” The beep cuts you off. You get up and go upstairs to shower.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You wake up to the smell of pancakes, so you get up and make your way downstairs. You find Bobby standing at the stove with his back to you. You spot the orange juice on the table with two plates.

“I didn’t realise you cooked.”

“Well, good morning to you too.”

“Sorry, good morning, Bobby.”

“I don’t really not since, well you know. But it’s not every day a pregnant woman turns up on my doorstep. You need a fulfilling breakfast, you’re growing my grandbaby.”

“Your grandbaby, huh?”

“Family don’t end in blood, kid.”

“This baby is lucky to have such a caring and protective grandfather. Oh, and orange juice instead of whisky? It’s a weird look.”

“Shut up, ya idjit.”

“I love you too, Bobby. Thank you again for all of this.”

While you wait for Bobby to finish cooking you grab your phone to call Dean again, but you find it’s flat so you plug it in to charge. When it lights up you find 20 missed calls from Sam but none from Dean.

“Bobby, did Sam call you?”

“Yeah, I told him you were here. He said you promised to call. He was really worried about you.”

“I forgot to call him when I got here.”

You call Sam and apologise for not calling and scaring him.

Over breakfast, you discuss the ongoing demon situation. And then you help with the dishes. As you’re drying up you hear an all too familiar purr of an engine. You turn to Bobby and say, “you called him?”

“Damn right I did. I need to set that idjit straight.”

“Did you tell him I was here?”

“No, but I bet he spotted that sweet red ride the second he drove in.”

“He’s gonna be so mad I left the bunker. I need more time! I don’t know what to say to him.”

“Hey, Bobby! Please tell me you picked up a car identical to one from the bunker!” you hear Dean call out. The sound of his voice makes you freeze.

Dean walks in without knocking but stops as soon as he sees you. You keep your eyes locked on the ground. You can feel his gaze on you. You start to tear up again, guilt filling your body.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Tag list: (Leave a like or comment on this post or let me know below if you want to be added to the tag list for this series)

@bitchwitch1981, @muhahaha303, @justrealizedimmascifygurl, @mcdowell-123, @leigh70, @marvelsmarauder, @losa12308, @tapedeck-hearts, @luvjaida, @peachtxa, @ambearsstuff,

#dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean winchester #supernatural #spn #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff

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qvietspvce · 5 months ago

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long post under the cut. i'm writing out a somewhat redacted transcript of the utter BULLSHIT i put up with yesterday

warnings for transphobia, transphobia EVERYWHERE. also, i show my arse here. i'm not a perfect person and my temper got the better of me in a BIG way.

messages in a group chat between sister, mum and me.

[screenshot of a facebook post, posted by [sister]. tagged [deadname]. post reads: I will always cherish these memories of my twin sister and I. Losing my twin sister was the worst pain imaginable, and I'm still very much grieving this. I'm working hard to rebuild a brand new relationship with a brand new person [blue love heart emoji]]

Me (7.16pm): what the fuck is this?

Me (7.19pm): I haven't died. I am still very much alive. I'd appreciate it if you didn't say you were "working hard to rebuild a brand new relationship with a brand new person" and out me to people as transgender without my permission. It shows a flagrant disregard to my privacy and safety.

Me (7.23pm): I am deeply hurt that you are sharing memories from a facebook account I no longer have access to. I'm just completely shocked that you would think this is a kind and fair thing to do to me. Take it down.

Me (7.23pm): Now.

Sister (9.02pm): Wtf is wrong with you

Sister (9.05pm): I've not said you've died, I've said I'll always cherish there's (sic) memories. [Deadname] is gone and is never coming back, don't be so selfish and put yourself in someone else's shoes for a change. Out you as transgender? I've not tagged Parker anywhere. You've changed yourself as male legally and have been someone else for years - it's public information

Sister (9.07pm): Look, you have all the time in the world to sit there and argue and be a snowflake

Sister (9.08pm): Fuck off, I want nothing to do with you - you completely selfish cunt

Sister (9.08pm): I just want MY [DEADNAME] back

Me (9.09pm): Are you aware that people are reacting to that post as if I have died? Interesting that you call it selfish to want a modicum of privacy and respect from you. How dare you. How very dare you. I'm aware you haven't tagged me as Parker. I'm aware that for whatever reason you refuse to see me as Parker. You'd rather make up a fuss over [Deadname] than respect me as I am and lash out when you're called out on poor behaviour. I, my personality, hasn't changed. I am still who I have always been except I now use a name, pronouns and body I am comfortable in.

Sister (9.09pm): You have changed

Sister (9.09pm): I'm allowed to grieve

Me (9.10pm): I AM STILL ALIVE

Sister (9.10pm): [Deadname] isn't

Sister (9.10pm): Doesn't exist anymore

Sister (9.11pm): I'm not "[sister's name] the youngest of 5 girls"

Me (9.11pm): YOU NEVER FUCKING WERE

Me (9.11pm): I just didn't have the language to say it!

Sister (9.11pm): It's no longer "I have a twin" "boy or girl"

Sister (9.12pm): You did for 26 years

Me (9.12pm): Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?

Sister (9.12pm): I'm allowed to grieve. I've supported you best I can why don't you try and do the same

Sister (9.13pm): I've had a rough fucking time

Sister (9.13pm): And I'm always there for you when I (sic) need me

Me (9.13pm): You made your fucking bed, now lay in it.

Sister (9.13pm): Just try to be understanding and not offensive

Me (9.13pm): Are you?

Sister (9.13pm): Okay we're done

Me (9.13pm): Are you there for me?

Sister (9.13pm): When you need money?

Sister (9.13pm): Calling you brother

Sister (9.14pm): Me and [ex-boyfriend] have split up and I'm struggling. [Deadname] would've been nice

Sister (9.14pm): You're being a twat

Sister (9.15pm): You spend too much time on the internet

Sister (9.15pm): I don't have time to waste on this

Sister (9.15pm): Dead to me

Me (9.15pm): You don't call me your brother unless you want something. I asked you to help me with Mango in an emergency that was never needed. You ask me to look after your dog when you're getting too drunk you don't even know how you got home. You broke up with [ex-boyfriend] because you couldn't cope with the guilt of emotionally cheating on him. That's on you, not me.

Sister (9.16pm): Not completely accurate

Sister (9.17pm): You're dead to me

Sister (9.18pm): Hope mum is kind enough to keep funding your mentally ill "lifestyle"

Sister (9.54pm): You outer (sic) yourself as transgender on my page [5 laughing emojis]

Sister (9.54pm): And turned the blame to me

Sister (9.54pm): Brilliant

Mum (9.56pm): GO WALK

Sister (10.04pm): [Person] sent you a screenshot of my Facebook, you accepted my friend request 2 hours ago which I sent to you months if not a year ago just to have a go at me

Sister (10.04pm): And then has been gossiping about me inaccurately

Me (10.25pm): I'm only going to say this once. It wasn't [Person] who sent me a screenshot and there's absolutely no way I'm going to tell you who it is. As you happily informed me, it's public information.

Sister (10.26pm): 1) absolute bullshit

Sister (10.26pm): It's her background on the screenshot

Me (10.29pm): So the reason you're angry at [Person] is because the person who sent me the screenshot uses Dark Mode...which is a function that all modern smartphones can use... Okay. I'm not going to have this conversation with you because you sound unwell. Get better, [sister].

Sister (10.30pm): I'm grieving the loss of my twin sister and I'm grieving the end of a relationship. Other than that I'm fine. I've not taken a single day off work, I run a home and business, I eat clean, train, pay my way and contribute to society

Sister (10.31pm): You're the one with every mental illness going

Sister (10.31pm): You are dead to me

Sister (10.31pm): You are done

Sister (10.32pm): I loved [Deadname] more than anything and I will cherish and share my memories

Sister (10.32pm): I hate Parker

-- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- messages in a private chat between sister and me (note the timestamps!)

Sister (11.36pm): Goodbye

Sister (11.36pm): I've said goodbye to [Deadname] she's gone and never coming back

Sister (11.36pm): Now I'm saying goodbye to you

Sister (11.36pm): Don't every (sic) contact me again

Sister (11.36pm): Ever *

#what a fucking palava honestly #anyway upshot of this whole thing is my mum rang me inbetween the gaps in the conversation and has encouraged me to go completely no contac #oh! and the facebook post in question is still up!#because i've had 2 more people reach out to tell me that they've seen it and messaged my sister to get it taken down!#in a completely unsurprisingly twist of events she told them to kill themselves and blocked them!#from her public facebook page that she uses to network and promote her social media on!#hoooooly shit #non reblogable for obvious reasons!

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acourtofthought · 1 year ago

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same anon that sent the ask about Needless Suffering ask but your reply just made me realize I'm SOOOO excited for azriel to suffer for gwyn lmao. his chapter made him so icky in my eyes I can't wait for him to grovel and be humbled kfgjn. but you hit the nail on the head of everything I was thinking, especially about lucien!! I think I'm probably too in MY head about gwyn here because I know it truly wouldn't make sense for her to be hurt; it just hurts me to think about I suppose because of all of her trauma being similar to my own. the thought of not being pure or good enough (which is something I've seen e/riel's play up a lot, they've built this entire love triangle that makes gwyn's pain inescapable) for someone because of something that happened to you is just devastating.

I know SJM could absolutely change her mind but NOTHING she's but in any of her recent books have pointed to her doing so. I really appreciate your response, it makes me so excited for the next book. I know a lot of people want it to be azriel's and I wouldn't be mad if it was, but it just makes more sense of it's lucien and elain's book because their story has been building for the longest.

I just want to start by sending you many hugs ❤️ I hope you've got a wonderful support system that's there for whenever you're feeling caught up in the past and I'm hoping any bad days are strongly outnumbered by the good ❤️

And thank you for the follow up message, it's always nice to share in a little back and forth.

I truly don't think you need to worry about a negative outcome for Gwyn. I realize SJM doesn't always dedicate the appropriate time to a SA survivors healing (as in the case with Rhys and Lucien though maybe we'll get a little more of Lucien's processing of his own SA), though that is sometimes the norm in fantasy series but she's not done a survivor wrong yet. Rhys ended up happy and loved and cherished and considering this was a huge focus of Gwyn's backstory (whereas characters like Rhys and Lucien tend to have their SA overshadowed by the other things happening to them), I am even more confident that Gwyn is not going to be used as a plot device to boost another ship. She is not going to be a villain. She is not going to be written as the one keeping Az from his "one true love".

I do agree that Elucien's book would make more sense because Lucien has suffered a huge amount when it comes to the mating bond, it feels like it's time and Elain does deserve to finally have a voice in this series (rather than everyone assuming what it is she's thinking).

As far as Az, I do think he needs to suffer a bit. Him being mad because he didn't get a bond or the girl he wanted (Mor) isn't really Az reaching a low point in my opinion. Not when you think about the stuff the others have gone through since the start of the series (the sisters being kidnapped and changed into a new species, the death of their father, various traumas, domestic violence for Feyre and Lucien, Lucien's brothers trying to kill him (AGAIN😂) losing their homes, etc).

If Az were to get a fulfilled bond in the next book, it will almost be like SJM rewarding his bad behavior.

In SF he still isn't over Mor completely and lusted after Elain. He's also insanely jealous of Lucien, letting that jealously cloud his judgement to the point that he's bitter when having to ask Lucien for help with IC business, claiming he's not good enough for Elain, and not blinking over the thought of causing him physical harm.

I think for Az to truly be humbled, he needs to see Elain and Lucien happy together and to make peace with that (not even because of Elain, at this point it's really about his bitterness towards Lucien) and then he'll be deserving of Gwyn. Something about Az being so cold towards Lucien in ACOFAS / SF then Az getting rewarded with his mate in the very next book (while Lucien still suffers) and him being nice to Lucien because he finally got his own bond doesn't sit right with me. It's like a 13 year old child throwing a temper tantrum because they didn't get presents at a siblings birthday party and only behaving once you promise to buy them a present too even though it's not their birthday. The lesson only means something once the child learns to sit through the siblings birthday party with a positive attitude without getting gifts themselves, that just because someone else is getting something doesn't mean they automatically do too. And at that point and with that lesson learned, where he can feel happiness for what someone like Lucien has despite not getting it himself, he is then worthy of his own bond with Gwyn. She deserves better than to be Az's "tantrum reward".

But even if SJM sees it differently and Elucien isn't next, I have no doubt that Gwyn will not be made to suffer. I'm sure we'll see her stand up to Az and call him out at times but she'll only continue growing and healing in her book, she's not going to be made to suffer to because of the things someone else has going on.

#elucien #pro gwyneth berdara

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sunlightandstupidity · 2 years ago

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It's now been approximately five days seventeen hours and four minutes since I finished the great ace attorney chronicles as I'm writing this, and for that entire time nothing I've been able to do has been able to get it out of my head. Right now I'm laying here on my bedroom floor and I happen to be particularly stuck on the themes that are prevalent throughout the games, and how exactly they so meaningfully portray them. And man is it such a silly couple of games, full of fun vibrant characters and goofy hijinks, but truly it does know how to ultimately deliver the messages it wants to deliver and the ideas behind it all. Man am I feeling like these games have destroyed me.

The Great Ace Attorney is a duology of games about resolve first and foremost. That willingness to keep going even as everything falls down around you, that eternal struggle born from caring far too much to give up. It hurts so bad as Ryunosuke again and again fights tirelessly for the truth behind a case, beating back seemingly impossible odds and creating arguments from practically nothing, simply because he cares too much not to. He needs so desperately to understand the truth behind a situation, to get his clients of the hook as he feels they deserve.

The Great Ace Attorney is a game about the tireless search for the truth and the nuances behind every situation, the fact that any small fact is never too small to be relevant and that, at the end of the day, there is little more important than integrity in being honest to both yourself and to other people. Always Ryunosuke is never willing to settle for anything but the truth. Even as his client is freed he keeps digging, he brings to the surface and thoroughly scrutinizes every little piece of information, fighting until the bitter end where he's confident that he's uncovered the full truth of the situation, no matter how unpleasant it may be.

The Great Ace Attorney is a game about justice in every sense of the word, in all its countless interpretations. The game shows you character after character who does what they presume is just in their own different ways. And time and time again you ponder whether what these people are doing is true justice. You along with the characters ponder just what justice means, and whether it's worth the price it takes. You see characters who use the law as a means to enact what they view to be justice, you see characters taking justice up in their own hands and carrying it about personally to their own definitions, and you see characters who combine these two approaches in so many ways to define and carry out what they seem to be true and just in their own ways. It poses again and again the question of what justice is, what it means to be a lawyer and what your priorities should be working as one through its characters in a way that feels incredibly rewarding and true to who the characters are.

The Great Ace Attorney is a game about family and support systems, about the strength that comes from having an unwavering presence by your side, people behind you who you know, despite what grievances you carry with them, will be there for you time and time again when things go awry, who would always grab a shovel (or spade, of course) and help without question to dig you out of whatever hole you found yourself in this time. It's about love and families of choice and how they mean just as much as any other kind of family, about how dynamics and relationships don't have to follow the typical outline to be important and meaningful, and all the different ways people can learn to appreciate and love the presence of other people and as a result become inspired to grow.

Maybe I've gone too deep into this. Maybe I've been thinking about it too much. But man do I feel like I could talk forever about all of these characters and the journeys they have and all the silly little bits and how everything in these games feels like it just falls into place. I love all the details and all the characters and just the pure level of love which seems to go into making these games. Ace attorney is such a goofy game series but it's so incredibly important. Who knew a game about gay lawyers would have some of the best characters I've ever met in any piece of media ever. And I feel like the great ace attorney is truly the pinnacle of that, in a way. Man. I love these games. Play them.

#tgaa #the great ace attorney #the great ace attorney chronicles #dgs #dai gyakuten saiban #i love these games can you tell #i only end up wishing there was more #maybe ill write some stuff #im definitely going to write some stuff

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lorenlily · 2 years ago

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hey, feb anon here

sorry for not messaging for a couple days, i meant to but kept being distracted and forgetting, sorry

yeah, i think that i might watch the new ant man movie cause i do like those ones, but overally marvel and disney+ just annoys me now, especially since everything i want to watch is on it and i don't have it (yes i may be slightly bitter, but no mind)

i really need to get round to watching the amazing spiderman movies, they seem really good.

oh i love the songs maisie has on the trying soundtrack, especially party and i want you to change. the list is also like one of the most comforting songs ever, i listen to it all the time when i'm feeling bad.

i think right now my favourite maisie song is details. i love the ones where she's just being really honest about not necessarily being in the right and being kinda mean and rude and abdigfahbab i just love the song

like yeah, i don't want to hear about the mixtapes, or the cigarettes she smokes, and i don't want to hear about the one time you met up in that park we'd always go, so i'll ignore her and she'll be really nice to me, and i know i'm being bitter and jealous and mean.

sorry i've gone on about maisie for too long now

OH WAIT, SHE ANNOUNCED THAT THE ALBUM NAME IS THE GOOD WITCH, AND SHE KEEPS USING TORNADO EMOJIS WHEN POSTING ABOUT THE ALBUM, SO I THINK THERE'S GONNA BE LOTS OF WIZARD OF OZ IMAGERY AND LYRICS AND YEAH I'M REALLY EXCITED

ok yeah, now i'm done with the chatter about maisie.

derry girls is amazing, i'm watching it as i'm writing this actually! if you haven't tried it yet then you really should, it's absolutely hilarious!!!!!

i have to get around to reading djats, it sounds really good.

ok, onto taylor. i appreciate the support for my top three, and it hurts my heart to see people hating on my beloved coney island and labyrinth. no taste, they have absoluteluy no taste.

i am most excited for speak now when it comes to rerecordings because it has some of her most intense songs, both lyrically and vocally, so hearing her grown up 33 year old voice when she's belting in haunted and dear john and mine and sparks fly is something i'm so excited for, not even to mention hearing a 33 year old taylor singing dear john and innocent and never grow up with 14 years to have spent looking back and growing up and learning. it'll just be amazing.

when it comes to vault tracks, funnily enough i think it's 1989. because we know now that she was struggling a lot with her mental health in that era, but she didn't really want to release songs about it or talk about it in the public eye like she does now, and the only song on that album that even gets close to adressing stuff like that is clean. but now, i think she will feel more comfortable talking about that and i think there will be a lot more emotionally intense songs, or just songs referencing those situations. like how in red tv we got things like nothing new and forever winter, that she never would have released in 2012.

also, by that time in her career she was a lot better about not having leaks occur, so we really have no clue about possible 1989 vault songs, unlike speak now or debut.

i haven't watched any of the movies or tv shows you said but i'll have to check some of them out. i'm really excited for maybe a trailer from pjo series as well though!!! i can't wait!!!!!! i think that you would write an amazing book!!!!!! but i get the whole not being able to actually get the ideas down on paper. i started writing a couple stories (ff) in 2021, and i haven't updated them since februrary of that year, which is slightly crazy, but yeah that's how long it's been.

omg, i just realized what day it is.

exactly two years ago yesterday, i was watching a gyoutube video where the woman making it went off on a tangent about how amazing and heartbreaking the song dear john was. i immediatly went and listened to the song, over and over, and then watched every reaction to that song on the internet. then i, over the next few months, listened to the entirety of taylor's discography. goddamn, i can't believe it's been two years, that's crazy.

good thing i did though, it's the reason i even know who you are and am sending this message.

anyways, wow that was a lot of rambling, i swear when i write these on a computer it just completely gets away from me and i end up writing a ridiculous amount

hey maybe you should try writing your stories in asks to your friends, i can vouch that it makes you write a ridiculous amount.

how are you doing today? and how was your valentines day? i hope it was good and i am sending you flowers and chocolates and little heart pillows and just general happiness.

so yeah, i hope all is good with you and this puts a smile on your face.

and hey, you are over halfway through februrary, and i am so incredibly proud of you <3

hiiiiiii

yep absolutely the amazing spiderman movies are my faves but prepare for a lot of tears in the second one (sorrry!)

i really love the list i just saw a video of her performing it when i was on tiktok and details omg i really love when songs are a little mean!! like high infidelity and skip that part by x ambassadors ft jensen mcrae (that one is really mean!)

the good witch is such a great name for an album and i really really really love the whole album cover for it! i'm very excited for it and the rest of the imagery and sound especially saying the songs sound like spells and hexes (ahhhh more mean songs pls!!)

coney island and labyrinth my beloveds <3 and omg i love how you found her through reaction videos there's so many now especially with more people listening to album tracks! dear john is still my favourite track 5 and until folklore/evermore and onwards, speak now has always had my favourite vocals from her albums and i can feel like speak now tv vocals could be so incredible especially her deeper tone on songs like last kiss and haunted and innocent and never grow up omg it's going to sound like an older sister singing it to you

i too am most excited for speak now tv (duh!) but 1989 has always had my favourite deluxe tracks so the vault i have high expectations and i didn't think about how it could have songs like forever winter (thats my favourite vault track rn) and i really hope sweeter than fiction gets a chance to be on 1989 tv (and safe and sound and eyes open get to be on speak now tv!!)

i hope you had a good day! did you take part in valentunes? that was really fun for me and how is it already mid feb??? that means you also got through it and i'm really happy you sent that first message <3

#i will definetly try writing more but rn im just on the struggle of getting a job #february anon <3 #what becomes of curious minds*

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sakkiichi · 11 months ago

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thank you so, so much for remembering me, yume, lovely ! 🥺🫶🏻

okay, okay, so the year is ending and i’m aware i haven’t been v active on here as of late but let me dedicate a few words to you all 🩷

to my bestie @bunny-rambles you’ll always be the xiao to my venti 🩵 even if sometimes you don’t believe it, your writing is an inspiration to me and to many others, so i hope you keep cultivating this hobby of yours because dear, you’re amazing at it, ilysm <3 (i’ll say it back every single time).

to my dearest @yumemirumikazuki tamaki to my sogo 🩵💜 i always tell you, that ilysm and i adore your singing and everything you do for me. there’s so much joy in my darkest days when i wake up to your good morning messages and your terms of endearment. i’ll read mahoyaku soon, i promise, and we’ll brainrot about it together <3 to our ocs, and many more to come !

to the ever lovely @ssilversiren 🩷 what can i say, you’ve followed me since my first blog and i don’t believe we’ve ever stopped talking and simping for our anemo boys/idol boyfriends ever since, right? you are the kazuha to my scara and the ayaka to my hu tao 🫶🏻 ilysm and i always love our chats and your humor !

to ryu-san’s wife @houjichaya 🩵 we have to go on a double date w TRG some time ! thank you for always dming me the cutest tenn’s and for the joy talking to you always brings me. i hope you know i always think of you when i see ryu <3

to the amazing @lilikags what can i say if not words of gratefulness for getting me into i7 and lovebrush chronicles? i love how we have such similar tastes in boys and i know you are going to succeed in your endeavors. your loved ones, tenn and nazuna are rooting for you, and so am i 💕

to the sweetest @yaminohimeyume thank you for always brightening my days w your sweet words and pics of tenn 🫶🏻 you deserve the world, love and i wish you can always stay happy on what remains of the year and on many more to come. thank you for always supporting my words, love !

to my fellow mizuki and cat lover @papiliotao i’m so glad we met this year ! your tastes are immaculate, and your writing is top tier 🩷 i sometimes think of you as a cooler little sister hehe

to my fellow kazuha lover @soleillunne our coops in genshin last year will always be remembered haha i know i don’t play genshin much if at all these days but i remember those days we played w a smile <3 also, love our simping for both jude and cardan hehe

to the kaveh to my alhaitham @kurapikapii i hope we can interact much more in the near future ! i know we’ve met so recently, but i adore seeing you on my twt tl <3 and yes, we should definitely do domains together in genshin (i think that would motivate me to get back into it >///<). fellow kazuha main, and xiaoven lover, know that i appreciate you a lot !

to sogo’s beloved @highcollargirl again, we’ve met recently, but you are so cool !! literally ! i love seeing your so-chan posts on tl and your love for him is adorable 💜 i love seeing you on my twt notifs always too !

to @gakutsumudailys 🌸 i saw someone mention on twt you are irl tsumugi and i couldn’t agree more. you’re as sweet and gentle as her, and i hope you know it’s a joy seeing every single one of your posts on twt (you are one of my first moots there too !). i always think ‘hannah’ every time i see gakutsumu now hehe (gaku loves you /r and so do i /p)

to scara and wrio’s love @kunikuma you’re the first one i ever wrote a matchup for and i’m so, so honored you liked it ! i know i haven’t been v active these days on my main blog or genshinblr, but know you’ve written one of my favorite fics for the fandom (the one in which scara makes a doll of y/n)

to the dear @yourangel137 thank you for being the kindest soul ever. you’ve stuck w me through my worst times and have always gone out of your way to comfort me 🥺 that means the world to me. pls keep following your own path, your dreams are at the end of it and i know you’ll reach them <3

to the bright @sunnyshiloh you’re as gentle as your username 💛 interacting w you is always a joy, it brings a smile to my face ! i love seeing you on my notifs and tl and your love for your favorites is precious <3 keep shining, sunflower 🥰🌻

to the wrio to my neuvi @https-furina it’s been a while, hasn’t it? sorry i haven’t been here much, but you’ll always be THE furina moot 🩵💙🫶🏻 i remember our chats fondly and i love your writing. keep smiling always, pls, you are so loved <3

to @dearemilia thank you, thank you so, so much for always sending sweet asks 🤍 your interactions are always so wholesome and sweet ! you’re a dear, bbie 🥺

to the lovely @ayaboba i remember your cute asks v dearly, you’ve always been so kind to me 🥺 i was honored when you followed me, and still am honored to call you my mutual 🩷 know that i love every single one of your themes too <3

that’s all for the sappy words… pls don’t be offended if i didn’t mention you, these are the moots i interact w the most !

but i’m grateful for every follower and every friend i’ve made on this site. i remember saying 6 months ago, when i started this blog “i hope to look back at something i can be proud of, if not my writing, at least the fact i didn’t give up”. well i can say now i’m glad i’m here, i’m glad so many of you stuck around and decided to give me and my self indulgent writing a chance. so, thank you, everyone 🩷

2023 is coming to an end so this is my annual I love my online friends so fucking much you wouldn't believe me if I told you post.

#aya.tagged #beloved mooties !#yume 🌌

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adonis-koo · 2 years ago

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I'm normally too shy to send asks, even anonymously, and this is the first time I've ever spent so much time on one but girl... I. Am. SCREAMING!!! AHHH HOW CAN HE BE LIKE THIS??? 😠😠 MC has EVERY right to be livid!!! The anguish I felt when I was reading how Taehyung was reacting to MC 😢 GAH, OF ONLY HE KNEW HOW MC REACTED WHEN SHE FIRST HEARD OF THE NEWS 😭😭

I remember seeing an excerpt you shared with us a while back showing JK on his knees asking MC for forgiveness and I really thought we were finally going to see that when things were getting heated. I'm not sure if you've completely scrapped the idea because I do remember you saying that you had to rewrite the whole chapter but honestly the direction you took with the chapter was definitely the better option otherwise it just would have been too easy 😆😆 Maybe we get to see grovelling JK in a future update??? And it would probably feel SO much sweeter when he finally gets on his knees for her ahskdkfkjsh I'm so excited to see it!!

Missy, you did such a spectacular job on this chapter like you always do, I even had the guts to finally send an ask showing my love and support for you 💕😊 The fact that you went and rewrote the whole chapter as opposed to posting it when you felt it wasn't good enough (it will always be good enough for us) just shows how much heart and soul you put into your works.

While I'm still here (so sorry for the long ass ask 😂), the next time you stumble upon a rude anon pestering you for updates, you just take your sweet time and take even longer to post the next one 😉. Pamper yourself with the things you enjoy and, I know it's easier said than done, try not to let those haters get to you. They probably have nothing better to do with in their than to just sit there and harass writers for updates. Anyone who tries to make you feel obligated to post new chapters on demand are FAKE, your true fans will know and accept that art such as yours will always take a lot of time to finish 😤. Us real ones will always be here waiting PATIENTLY and APPRECIATIVELY for the updates that you so generously take time out of your day to grace us with. Best of luck to you working on your book and, just remember, you owe us readers nothing when it is you who provides us with so much 💕.

From, a shy but passionately appreciative, anon 😊.

Awwwh I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to write me such a sweet message I can’t thank you enough for all the kind words!

As for your question that exerpt while it unfortunately got sacked from the chapter, it is definitely not gone permanently! Just pushed further back because I couldn’t have Jungkook groveling so soon! I really wanted the push-pull dynamic between them both to still be lingering. So having him cave so fast just didn’t feel right to do! Doesn’t mean he won’t be soon though 🤭 so you’re definitely right, it will be much sweeter when we get to it!

I’m also happy to see someone sticking up for my girl MC haha I feel like she doesn’t catch much of a break with the readers 🤣 because while Jungkook is definitely valid on some things I feel also feel like MC is also valid on other things. Like what she did was unjustifiably stupid, she had the right to know what was going on, and an even bigger right to be mad as hell about it when she did find out! Even more so at her husband (who had good reason but this ain’t about him rn 💀)

Once again I can’t thank you enough for your kind words and encouragement along with understanding! After an unfortunate incident at work last week I’m definitely beginning to have a whole new level of gratitude towards people who are kind and chose to be kind to me. Take care anon and please don’t ever hesitate to send more asks if you feel inclined too I would love to hear from you again!! 🥹🫶🖤

#missy answers #fic: wicked #anon

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missmaywemeetagain · 2 years ago

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Pink Scarf - PART 16 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: Rough SEXXX. Restraints. ANGST. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact) || Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: Woo, boy, y'all. Get yourselves ready, cuz the snowball is rollin' and the shit storm is comin'. This part is a little bit of everything--a little sweet, a little salty, a little smutty. It's what y'all deserve!

For the flashback, I had E's 1960 It Feels So Right playing in my head on repeat, so if you are one who likes music to set the mood, then you might give it a listen before/during/after you read that part!

As always, to all my babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments you've given me have been a blessing beyond expression. You all are the best community a writer could ask for! Thank you so much for your support. I am loving getting to know y'all better! I love every single reaction and comment and ask, and I'm sorry if I don't get back to them all as soon as I'd like but know that I love you all and am so excited to be making new friends! And a big "Hey, Y'all!" to our friends from Elvis Twitter, Elvis Discord, and Elvis Instagram--I see and appreciate you coming over to join us! 👀💋

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks)! I think I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues or if I missed anyone. There seem to be some issues with tagging that I can't seem to fix, so please know I'm not leaving you out intentionally! Also, if you comment on a previous part that you want to be tagged, I might not always see it, so feel free to message me if I miss you!

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat!

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch.

(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my long-neglected AO3 account (which some of you already discovered!), so if you are so inclined, you can check it out over there!)

Graceland, Christmas 1960

The mansion is finally quiet, or at least you’ve managed to find a quiet part of it in the midst of all the holiday revelry. Elvis loves Christmas, and this is his first one home in two years. And the first one without Gladys.

You had thought that maybe his grief would make the holiday a more solemn affair, but he’s gone in the opposite direction. It’s as though his loss has fueled him to make Christmas as joyful as humanly possible. Even though he’s been away filming for most of the month, he still directed the mansion should be decked out in all the Christmas finery for his return. And so it is.

You wish you were more in the spirit to enjoy it. Usually, you would be—Christmas is one of your favorite times of the year—but this year it sits heavy for you. Heavy because if all had gone well, you’d be sharing it with your newborn baby.

The thought brings you to tears again.

You’ve been hiding your grief as much as possible, sliding on a quaint smile, singing carols, and making cookies with the rest of them, but in these solitary moments, you grieve. You cannot help it. You know it’s futile and silly. How can you grieve someone who barely even existed, someone who was never born? And yet, here you are, alone, sitting in a quiet corner of the house at the piano, a couple of glasses too many of champagne in, being sad over what could have been.

So you begin to play. You know practically every carol and hymn by heart, so you just close your eyes and let the music take you away. It doesn’t erase your grief, but it does help you let it out in some way. You barely notice the tears rolling down your cheeks as you play Away In A Manger and What Child Is This?. You let the dramatic chords of O Holy Night linger in the air at the push of the pedals.

And after a bit of playing, that image of a baby in your arms feels fuzzy and faraway. Or maybe that’s the champagne. Maybe it’s both.

The air shifts. You notice it but play on anyway. You’re not sure how, but you are able to sense him, his presence, his essence, as it pushes in around you. But he remains quiet, and your eyes remain closed as your hands continue to fly over the keys.

Elvis does not interrupt, he only watches. You’re not sure why. You feel as though he barely speaks to you anymore. Yes, he is away and busy and all the usual excuses. But he used to seek you out when he returned. He’d bring you silly little trinkets and sing to you and tell you stupid, off-color jokes.

Now, since that horrible day in March, it’s as though an invisible wall has come between you two, and you don’t understand why. It’s nothing overt—he treats you kindly in the group and doesn’t outwardly ignore you. But something significant has changed, you swear it. Perhaps it is your ultimate failure as a woman that has turned him away. Or maybe with the explosion of his stardom since returning from Germany, he just doesn’t have time for you anymore. Maybe it has nothing to do with you at all; maybe he’s just a different man now.

Your tears of grief now include the loss of him, too. Losing your friend is heartbreaking in its own right, much less coupled with the loss of your child, of your fertility. It doesn’t help that Jack has been gone with Elvis on his travels and feels distant, too. You’d initially thought the space would be good for you two, but instead you just feel achingly lonely.

God, you wish you’d never been pregnant at all, as all it seemed to bring you is heartache.

You stop playing and open your eyes. The room is dim, lit only by one of the many Christmas trees in the house, but when you turn towards the door, Elvis is still there, his blue eyes shining with emotion as he leans in the doorway. The man looks ready to weep, which takes you by surprise, as he’s only shown enthusiasm and excitement since being home. You recognize the look though: it’s grief and melancholy, similar to your own.

Then Elvis looks at you unabashedly for a moment, almost like he is really, truly seeing you for the first time in months. The air sits heavy and silent. You don’t bother wiping the tears off your cheeks, though your heart races a bit. Must be the champagne, you think. It certainly isn’t the way he is looking at you now, how you are being laid bare and vulnerable by his intense gaze.

Something builds between you, though you are not exactly sure what, and he suddenly straightens and crosses the room to you. He towers over you now at the end of the piano bench and an overwhelming need to be near him comes over you. It’s as though you are both magnetized to each other, so when he holds out his hand, you cannot help but take it. The warmth of his hand surrounds yours as he pulls you up and into his waiting arms.

You fold into him, your arms tucked into your chest and your head buried into his collarbone as he wraps his arms around you. His spicy, distinct scent surrounds you and his warmth engulfs you and you cannot help the sob that escapes you at the comfort of it.

Elvis holds you close and lets you cry, and you feel his chest shudder and his breath hitch as though he is as emotional as you are. His mother, you think; he’s been hiding his grief as you’ve been hiding yours. You can feel the wetness of his tears against your temple as they run down his face and onto yours, and this prompts you to unfold your arms and wrap them around his torso, comforting him as he is comforting you.

He sways you, moving to the unheard music you assume is always playing in his mind, and pressed against him like this, you can feel the quick and steady beat of his heart pounding in his chest. You don’t remember the last time you were this close to him. He feels bigger, broader than the boy who went to Germany, but is no less Elvis. His sensitive spirit is the same after all.

You are not sure how long you sway there, crying in each other’s arms at your respective losses. But you know it’s more than just that. You know because as your tears start to ebb and you move back the slightest bit, he grabs your hand and pulls you in close, unwilling to part with you. He dances with you now, slowly pulling you back into his silent rhythm.

And you let him. You let his hand clasp yours and he draws it over his heart, holding it there. His heart beats quicker, you think. It’s too intimate now, the way his warm, damp cheek presses to yours, the saltiness of your tears mixing and binding your grief together. The air shifts again, still heavy and thick, but with a million unsaid words hanging there in the silence.

Your heart skips, flutters, and your breath catches. You’re not exactly sure what is happening. But you still let him hold you and sway you in slow circles. His hand splays hot on your lower back, burning through you, setting your body aflame in a way you don’t understand.

But you are a few glasses in and on a roller coaster of emotion and right now the feel of his strong, lean body pressed against yours makes you feel alive in a certain kind of way. You’ve been lonely and you’ve missed him more than you thought. It’s almost as if this is a silent plea for forgiveness from him.

Yes, that’s all it is.

You feel hyperaware of him and his closeness, so when Elvis nuzzles his head against the side of yours, you feel breathless. Your mouth pops open with a puff which, considering his proximity, he must feel, but he does not stop, and you cannot help the way you return the gesture in kind.

His breath is warm in your ear, and you can feel the softness of his lips brush against it, sending a decidedly inappropriate cascade of shivers dancing through you.

Oh, god.

Involuntarily, your hand contracts in his, your nails scraping lightly at his button-down shirt. Elvis presses your palm down onto his heart in response. You feel out of control, completely at his mercy, knowing this is too much, too close, too intimate but you can’t seem to stop, intoxicated by his strength, his affection, his essence.

Elvis’ still-damp cheek lingers against your own, and he presses his forehead gently to yours with a soft sigh. Then he pulls back slowly, just far enough to look at you, and you feel knocked over by his pure beauty. Honestly, you feel absolutely heady as you threaten to tip over and lose yourself in those churning, deep blue eyes of his. And, boy, they are churning, with things you can’t quite grasp. You watch as they search your face, his impossibly long lashes punctuating their every slow move. Holding your breath, your heart speeds up ever faster, and you wonder what it is he seeks in you.

Your sadness and grief feel far away now as he plunders your soul, his gaze so alluring that you cannot even begin to piece through what is going on in any sort of logical way. You don’t understand any of it. All you know is you want more, and that feels forbidden in every way.

As if reading your thoughts somehow, his lips part. His eyes flutter down your face and land at your mouth. A shock runs through you as you think Elvis just might kiss you, and that terrifies you, not just because it would be crossing a line but because in this moment you want him to.

You want to feel his lips soft and sweet against you, then crushing into you. You want his body passionately pressed into yours as you cling to each other in the sparkling light of the Christmas tree. You want his large hands roaming your curves. You want to feel the strands of his dark hair between your fingers as you tug him closer. You want him to make you forget everything but the taste and feel of him.

These wants flash through you in an instant, shocking your system because he is so close that you almost can taste him and panic shoots through you. Never have you let your thoughts truly drift to that place with him, and opening that door feels very dangerous. Suddenly, with a wave of absolute certainty, an intuition you cannot explain at all exclaims that Elvis wants you more than anything in this world.

And that makes you gasp and pull away.

That cannot possibly be true. Nothing about the way he’s acted this past year supports that but something inside you screams that it’s real. It makes no sense. None of it makes any sense.

Elvis blinks and shakes his head as though snapping himself out of a daze. His hand falls from your waist, the spell broken. The soulful look in his eyes flashes with what almost seems like hurt, then apology, then regret. Without a single word, he turns and leaves.

Your heart plummets for reasons you don’t understand.

You must be confused. You are drunk. You are emotional. You couldn’t possibly have read the situation correctly. And yet the feelings awakened in your body surprise you and the look in his eyes haunts you as you sink back onto the piano bench, left alone in the silence.

Your eyes pop open at the memory. You had been very drunk that night and hadn’t remembered that moment until this very minute, yet another hidden facet of your long and suddenly complex relationship with your friend making itself known. Elvis had continued to keep his distance from you after that Christmas and had never even alluded to such an intimate moment happening, so you’d had no reason to think anything strange had happened at all. In hindsight, it seems awfully significant and feels like yet another thing he’s keeping from you.

Running it through your mind again, you swear he’d almost kissed you that night or at least had wanted to, which is shocking to you because 1960 was a long time ago. Still more shocking was that certainty you’d had about him wanting you more than anything, which couldn’t possibly be true.

Could it?

You shake off the thought. Emotions were high for both of you that night, and he obviously had thought better of it, but still…that prickle at the back of your mind keeps gnawing at you, those pieces of the puzzle attempting to slot into place. Maybe if you weren’t so damn tired and emotionally spent, you’d be able to figure out what your mind is trying to tell you. Maybe if your body wasn’t still aching with the memory of losing your child and almost dying, you’d be able to think clearly.

And your conversation with Sandy also sits uneasily in your mind. Running away ain’t gonna solve anything, her voice echoes in your head. You wish you had the strength she hoped you did, the strength to tell Jack to fuck off, to tell Elvis how you really feel, but it all feels so overwhelmingly insurmountable that you can barely even entertain the thought.

Heart pounding and wheels turning, you know sleep is out of the question and sit up in the bed. You get up and busy yourself instead. You feel as though you are racing the clock. It doesn’t take long to pack your bag, and while you are not frantic, you are determined. Mentally, you are ready to go. You have to go.

Unfortunately, things are not working out as you hoped they would. When the concierge calls you back with your fight arrangements, he informs you that there are no flights out of Vegas until 7:30am tomorrow morning. It being a Sunday night and with such short notice, there were no seats headed back east to be had. You thank him and reply that of course the morning flight would be acceptable before you set the receiver back on the hook and let out an aggravated scream.

You need out now. You are half inclined to rent a car and drive back to Memphis, but you know that is a terrible idea for a variety of reasons, namely being that you had no idea how to get to Memphis from here and being alone on the road for so long with no preparation sounded dangerous.

Fine, you think, I can make it through the night. I should tell Elvis in person anyway.

The thought makes your stomach churn because you know he will not be happy with this development. You’d rather not see the look on his face, but you also know it is the right thing to do. You just need to steel yourself to see your decision through and not be swayed by his charms.

Easier said than done.

And it doesn’t help that you are running on fumes and adrenaline. With everything that happened last night, the only sleep you’ve had was on the roof and that was short-lived and filled with nightmares. You took a shower after getting back to the room, but your mind is spinning too much to sleep, plagued with returning memories and creeping doubt.

You decide to get ready for the show as originally planned. It’ll be easier to gain access to Elvis between shows to talk if you do so. You dress accordingly, carefully putting on your makeup and doing your hair up nicely to give yourself as much confidence as possible. After repacking your toiletries, you grab your clutch and see the silky pink scarf folded neatly inside.

It takes only a moment for you to decide to put it around your neck. It’ll guarantee that Elvis will make time to see you, and you try not to shiver at the fact that the last time you wore this scarf, it led to a decidedly different outcome than it will tonight. The thought sends both warmth to your core and dread into your heart. You don’t want to leave him.

But I have to.

You shift your thoughts instead to Red, wondering and fearing whatever he might have planned. You don’t know if he is planning to sit on the information he gleaned from your leaving Elvis’ suite this morning, or if he is looking to cause mayhem immediately, though considering Jack has not burst in angrily, you don’t think anything has been said yet.

Either way, you have to warn E, and you have to get the hell out before the shit hits the fan.

The afternoon quickly turns to evening, and you pump yourself up on the way downstairs, despite the nausea in your stomach, the exhaustion in your body, and the ache in your heart. Now that you are somewhat a part of the show, it is easy to get backstage, and while you’re not sure how you are going to be able to wait the few hours the show will take, you continually remind yourself that this is what you must do. You have no choice.

But I do, I do have a choice, a pesky little voice chimes in. Stay.

Shut up.

By the time Elvis makes his way backstage, you feel like you’re about to jump out of your skin. The way his bright eyes light up when he sees you and then how they flash heat when he sees the pink silk knotted around your neck fills you with both desire and anxiety. Being near him weakens your resolve because his charismatic energy rolls over you even from this distance, and he just looks so damn good in that white suit of his, but you knew that this would test you. You force what you hope is a normal a smile, but you see a look of confusion flash over his pretty face before his usual pre-show nerves take over. But he does not come over to you, for which you are grateful.

The show begins with the usual fanfare, and you are surprised that even with everything going on in your head (or perhaps because of it), you still get swept up in the music, still sing the parts quietly that you have so diligently practiced. Regret hits you from another angle, one you did not anticipate. In leaving Vegas, you’ll also be leaving this—the show, the music.

Doubt creeps in in earnest throughout the show, putting your nerves even more on edge. You don’t really want to leave this opportunity, but the problem is you don’t think you have the fortitude to stay and to be able to resist Elvis.

The curtain closes and Elvis is surrounded, soaked with sweat, riding that post-show high that makes him nearly glow from the inside out. He wipes his face with the towel someone has draped over him, and you watch as he pulls Jerry aside with a glint in his eye, presumably to arrange your meet with him. But Jerry leans back and whispers something into E’s ear and that handsome face clouds with dark emotion. Then Elvis finds you past the crowd and his eyes lock on and you know. You know he knows by the hurt and angry look in his piercing blue eyes.

Sandy.

Goddammit.

As Elvis stalks over to you, pushing through musicians and instruments, it’s evident that Sandy has betrayed you. She told Jerry. And whether she meant for him to tell Elvis, you do not know, but your heart speeds up as Elvis crosses the backstage area in long, quick strides, with a wounded and feral look in his eyes that frightens you. It is not at all the same as the jealousy from the night prior; no, this is damage done on another scale.

You cannot help but back up as he approaches, nearly falling back over your chair, but he is on you in an instant, grabbing your arm firmly with one hand and your waist with the other, seemingly uncaring of the confused looks of his entourage that has been left behind so uncharacteristically. Luckily, Jack is nowhere to been seen, but you catch Red’s smirk before Elvis manhandles you into the hallway.

He doesn’t speak, not yet, though you see his brewing temper play over his face. Your heart drops because it is so obvious how you’ve truly hurt him, and he practically carries you back to the dressing room so quickly that you barely have time to register what that means. Once inside, he releases you and you tumble forward before he slams the door with too much force and flicks the lock.

As you straighten, you attempt to brace yourself for what you think you know is coming. Your nerves are on pins and needles, and you can’t help the lightheaded feeling that comes over you as you watch him fume. His chest heaves with both the exertion from his performance and his building fury, which makes for a dangerous combination.

You realize too late that perhaps you didn’t think this through.

“Is it true?” Elvis growls, rounding on you. “Are you trying to leave?” The pain is palpable in his stormy eyes and is layered with indignation.

The words catch in your throat. You finally force yourself to nod, attempting to find your voice in the meantime.

“What the fuck, y/n? What the fuck do you think you’re doin’?” his voice raises, as he paces the room like a caged animal. His eyes are icy now, glaring at you in such a way that you feel it to your toes. His white suit clings to him with the moisture of his sweat, which gleams off his tan skin, distracting you.

You finally find your voice. “I’m leaving, Elvis. For my sake and for yours,” you breathe out. Your heart threatens to shatter at the words.

“The fuck you are,” he flips back at you.

“Excuse me?” you huff.

“You ain’t goin’ nowhere, honey,” he points at you sternly.

“That’s not up to you,” you sputter, blinking rapidly.

“The hell it ain’t,” he glares.

Elvis’ eyes flash and he advances towards you. Your heart thunders in your ears and you counter backwards until he has your back against the wall. He grabs your chin with his hand, his rings cutting into you.

“I thought I fucked some sense into you last night, but it seems I fucked it out of you instead,” he purrs dark and low, but it is laced with threat.

You hold back a groan at his words. The sound of his voice and the look on his gorgeous face as he rakes his eyes over you sends both dread and heat through you all at once. You should have known he’d put up a fight. This is why you’d wanted to leave right away. Resisting him feels insane and futile.

“E, Red knows. He caught me coming out of your room this morning, and I just know he’s gonna make trouble,” you ramble out, trying to skirt around him. He boxes you in with his arms.

“Fuck Red. I’ll take care of him,” Elvis spits, eyes flashing but barely giving it a second thought because his sole focus is you. Then you see him eyeing his scarf around your neck. Wordlessly, slowly, he unties it, his calloused fingers brushing the skin of your neck and making you shiver. “Now tell me why you’re really leavin’, honey,” he commands, but the lilt in pitch betrays his sensitivity to those who know him well enough. And you do.

Oh, god, the way his smokey eyes bore into you, intoxicate you, has you frozen and your mouth dry. All the words you prepared to say are gone in an instant. You can’t tell him everything (you can’t), but his hurt and his need to dominate you because of it drives his actions, and you know he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

“Hmm,” he shakes his head, a darkness overcoming him. “Guess I gotta find another way to get it out of you. Give me your hands,” he orders. You are caught in his gaze and feel powerless to deny him. Begrudgingly, you obey, holding out your hands.

You watch as he ties one end of the silky scarf to your left wrist. It’s tight, but not uncomfortable. Your brow furrows in confusion as he pulls your arms up, and it is then that you notice the bar, which must be used as a clothing rack, attached to the wall above your head.

Your eyes widen and your heart thunders in your chest. “Elvis, what’re you doing?” you squeak out as he wraps the scarf over the bar and attaches it tightly to your other wrist. Your arms are loose and your feet remain planted on the floor, as the bar is not that high up, but you are effectively trapped.

“Well, honey, you keep tryin’ to run away from me and I need answers,” he glowers, amusement playing under his anger.

“Goddammit, this isn’t funny, let me go!” you say shrilly, yanking your arms but only succeeding in making the scarf tighter around your wrists.

“No, you’re right, it ain’t funny at all. Were you just gonna steal away in the dead of night without talkin’ to me?” he asks, the hurt back in his voice.

“No, I…no, that’s not what I wanted…” But it is almost what you did, and he seems to know it.

His eyes flash with realization at your unspoken words, then narrow as he moves closer. You look away, shamed. He grabs your chin again, his rings cold against your skin, and forces you to look at him.

“You are all I’ve been able to concentrate on, ya know that? You’re all I fuckin’ think about. I want you. I want you to be with me. Be with me.” He says it like a pleading promise and a stark demand all at once.

Oh, Jesus, it makes you ache for him in every way. You can feel your resolve crumbling around you, all your reasons for leaving melting into a puddle at your feet.

“We can’t Elvis. We can’t keep doing this. I’m losing my mind,” you say but Elvis has his head buried in your neck now, his lips and tongue dragging across your skin and setting your entire body aflame. Resisting him is like resisting gravity—an impossible feat.

“Why would you do this to me, lil’ mama?” he whispers in your ear, his hand brushing away your hair so his breath tickles against you. The sensation immediately has your body at attention, like a switch has been flipped. Your nerves tingle, your nipples stand at attention with just the temptation of that raspy baritone.

Despite yourself, despite the angel on your shoulder screaming at you, once again, that this is a bad idea, your mouth pops open with a sigh. His other hand cups your cheek as his lips travel over your face, so close that those long, dark lashes brush against you in their wake. This sends another thrill of sensation through you.

It’s agonizing that you can’t touch him, which you know is exactly the point.

Elvis presses you against the wall, and his thumb is dragging slowly over your bottom lip. It takes everything you have to not disintegrate right there and then. The way he makes you feel—it’s like you have no sense of reality when around him like this. He is your drug of choice. And you keep coming back to him again and again.

“Tell me why you don’t want me,” he asks in a boyish whisper, his bedroom eyes deadly serious, filled with anger and hurt and need and lust. All for you. Only Elvis could look so entirely innocent and completely sinful all at once.

His words cut you, as you think he intended. You wish you could make him understand, but your breathing is fast, too fast. You are dizzy from the scent of him, all sweat and musk. He’s dripping with it. Your eyes roll back.

“Dammit, E, of course I want you,” you breathe, “but when we get caught, which we are seconds away from, I’m the one who’s life blows up. I’m the one who’ll have to face the consequences. It all comes back on me, and…I don’t have anything without Jack.” You can’t let yourself forget it.

The way Elvis looks at you now is fierce. He grabs both of your cheeks roughly, his hands like fire against them.

“Baby, you have me, you’ll always have me. You’re mine, and I’m yours, and I’ll take care of you, no matter what happens.”

The sentiment hits you sideways, flooring you. He’s staring at you so intensely you feel completely gone, weak. There is nothing else but him.

“Let me take care of you,” he breathes seductively, nuzzling your nose. “Let me be your everything.”

Oh, sweet lord…

“Elvis…” His name escapes you like a hushed prayer. You are defenseless against him, your heart fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird, stealing your breath away completely.

The temptation of what he is saying is so strong that you want to give in to him immediately. It’s almost everything you want to hear, which is the problem. You think he’ll say anything to get what he wants. You love him, but you know he’s a master at manipulation—it’s how he’s so damn good at his craft. It’s how he so effectively hypnotizes the masses. You think half the time he doesn’t even realize what’s he’s doing, but knowing him as you do, you know he is too shrewd for ignorance.

But part of you refuses to believe him, what he’s saying, even now. Part of you is still reeling from the pain and the fear of your recently uncovered memories. And the fact is, he is still hiding things from you, and you are still married to Jack.

Elvis bows his head, his soft lips now mere millimeters from yours, his hot breath mingling with the heat of your own. But he does not close the gap. He’s waiting, waiting for you to decide. He’s impatient, nearly shaking with anticipation.

You came here to end it, you did (didn’t I?), but he’s like the sun, pulling you into his orbit. Desperate, you find your voice, doing your best to be strong.

“Elvis, I am still married. You know as well as I do how complicated it is with Jack, and he’s not going to take kindly to this when he finds out. And he will. We both know he will. He’s your friend. You can’t have it both ways, and neither can I. But I can’t be near you without wanting you, so something’s gotta give. That’s why I have to go. That, and all the secrets, the lies…It’s tearing me apart inside,” you plead with him. And I know you’re keeping something from me, but those words don’t make it out of your mouth.

His brow furrows and you can practically see the wheels turning in his head. Then something significant shifts, that dark look clouding his eyes once more.

“Jack ain’t shit. Fuck him. And, baby, I’ll tear your marriage to shreds and throw it in the trash, just like that,” Elvis snarls, snapping his fingers in your face, his endless eyes burning into yours. His vehemence has you shaking, your eyes going big. “I don’t care what I have to do or who I have to pay off. I thought I told you, honey—I always get what I want, and I think I’ve made it quite fuckin’ clear who I want.”

Holy shit.

A shocked beat, your breath held in a pause before it quickens again. Elvis is choosing you over Jack. Elvis wants you to end your marriage for him (or more accurately, wants to end it for you). This means that he is much more serious about this, about you, than you thought. Your heart plummets into your stomach and warmth blossoms over your body. You are both elated and terrified by what he is asking of you. All words escape you.

“Still need a little more convincing, huh?” His lip curls into a smirk, sending a coil of desire into your belly. Pushing you up against the wall, he grinds his hips into you, your arms straining against their bonds. You know now that this is his way, his way of proving to you the truth of his words. A whimper escapes your lips, causing him to grin even more. He has you right where he wants you, which is infuriating and exhilarating.

Elvis gets close, his full lips so tantalizingly near that you can almost taste their pillowy sweetness, but he still does not kiss you, only tempts you as his breath blends with yours. As much as you want to, you do not submit, you do not close the gap, your stubbornness and lingering doubt dampening your near-consuming desire.

All your churning emotions of the past few days keep you silent. Confusion, fear, anger, shock, love—all of it only fuels your passion for him, a love so consuming it eats you alive. But you also don’t want him to have the satisfaction of you giving into him. He’s right: he does usually get what he wants, but that doesn’t mean you have to make it easy on him.

Elvis watches your reaction carefully as he yanks your dress up over your hips. Then he groans, a deep, carnal sound as he grinds into you once more, his arousal evident and the metal of his ornate belt biting against your pelvis. You bite your lip to keep from making the noises that threaten to escape you, but your breathing is starting to become even more labored. There is an element of calculated control in his flaming eyes, combined with power and need. He doesn’t let you look away.

Elvis grabs the back of one of your thighs, pulling it up to his hip, running his hand over your bare flesh from your knee up to your panties, his fingers dancing just under the elastic. You hold back the hiss that wants to escape you. God, you want to touch him, to claw at his bare chest, but the scarf holds you fast and you grip its strong silk for dear life.

When he lets go just long enough to pull the zipper of his fly, pulling out his cock, your eyes widen, then fall closed. You feel as he tugs your underwear to the side, his fingers swiping through your folds. You bite your lip at the feel of his fingers prodding at you so roughly. But with your churning emotions desperately trying to keep your desire at bay, you are not nearly wet enough to take him yet.

“Look at me,” he demands, and you do. You are powerless not to.

Reaching his hand up, he looks you right in the eye as he spits in it, then reaches down to cover his cock, lubricating it fully. You gulp. A shiver of anticipation races down your spine. Taking a long moment to gather more saliva, he spits in his hand again before snaking it between your thighs to smear your pussy with it, watching your reaction carefully. You can’t help but moan at the sensation of the warm slick.

True to his word, nothing stops him from taking what he wants as he brusquely lifts your legs around his waist and enters you with a quick, hard thrust and a deep grunt.

You gasp loudly at how Elvis fills you so completely, both with surprise and with pain of the pleasurable sort. You are so tight, too tight, and while your arousal pools, it has not yet coated your walls, making his saliva the only lubrication to ease the friction. You claw at the silk scarf, trying to push back against the wall in retreat, but he chases you, pausing for only a moment as you attempt to adjust to him. He starts rocking into you, but his thrusts are not gentle—they are powerful, claiming. You continue to hold back the noises that want to escape your mouth, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of hearing your pleasure.

“Why ya gotta be so fuckin’ stubborn, baby? You really makin’ me take you this damn hard to remind ya just who ya belong to?” he growls seductively into your ear as he drives into you harder. Your head falls back onto the wall and your eyes flutter. This shouldn’t be so satisfying, but you can’t deny how it makes you feel, how he makes you feel. Your arousal pools around him at his words, at his audacity, and it gives you away as he slides more easily in and out of you. Then that damn lip of his dares to curl up again into a knowing smile.

His baritone rumbles in your ear as he fucks you more vigorously, each thrust punctuating his words, as if driving them deeply into your body and mind. “I’m not lettin’ you outta my sight after this little stunt of yours, honey, not for one damn minute. In fact,” he chuckles darkly, “you’re going on stage with me for the rest of my shows, starting tonight. Your debut performance.”

You can’t hold back your choked gasp at that.

“You’re all mine now.” Elvis’ hand comes up and wraps around your throat, just tight enough to let you know he means it. “Now, be a good girl and say it for me.”

Your brain fights against him—possession is not love! Sex is not love! it screams at you—and you don’t want to give him this, but you know the truth of it: you are his. You’ve been his for a while now. And you relish in it. You want so desperately for it to be more than that, but you are too weary of denying yourself of the obvious.

“I’m…y-yours,” you gasp out. He fucks it out of you.

The corner of his mouth briefly lifts in satisfaction before returning to his relentless railing of you and his ongoing, heated diatribe: “You’ll stay in my room, my bed, and we’ll fuck whenever we damn please, honey. I don’t care who fuckin’ knows. Let Jack try and come for you…see what happens,” he threatens, grunting as his thrusts become more erratic.

You don’t even recognize the moan that comes from you at that. The fact that he will take Jack head on for you sends an inexplicable rush through your system. The coil in your belly tightens rapidly now, but Elvis is too far ahead of you, too consumed with his lust and his need to claim you as his own.

“Tell me you’ll stay,” he says in your ear. It comes out more needy, breathless, pleading, than you think he intended, which tugs at your heart, telling you what you need to know, at least for now.

You have no choice, not anymore. Neither your heart nor Elvis’ will allow it.

“I’ll stay,” you whisper, finally conceding.

“There’s my girl,” he groans, then plunges in so deep and fast that the wind is knocked out of you. You both cry out as he pulses again and again, filling and coating you with his need, his teeth digging into your shoulder as he climaxes.

You both gasp for breath, him from his release, you from the shock of his words as they settle within you. After a moment of recovery, he unceremoniously pulls out of you, sets you gently back on the ground, and unties your hands. Your legs feel wobbly and your hands tingle with a burning sensation, rubbed a little raw at the wrists. Elvis kisses each wrist softly, making that unrelieved coil in your belly cinch even tighter as he wraps the scarf around your neck. You wince at the pins and needles in your arms as you shake them to regain circulation.

You wait to see what he has in store for you next, but he just looks a little jaded, uncharacteristically making no effort to alleviate your need. He turns and walks all the way back into the bathroom, and you follow silently.

You look at him questioningly in the mirror as he cleans off, that coil in your belly poised and ready, but unfed. He’s never left you unsatisfied before. But you also don’t want to push him right now. Things still feel too tenuous.

He finally acknowledges you in the mirror, looking over your mussed and flustered state and immediately gleaning the reason for your hovering. “Honey…I’ll deal with you later,” Elvis tuts in a reprimanding tone, his left eyebrow raising, his blues still chilly towards you.

He’s being petty, but you suppose you deserve that to an extent. You resist the urge to pout, instead choosing to wrap your arms around his waist from behind, pressing against the sweaty heat of his back. You want him to forgive you, want to be in his warmth, want him to love you as you love him. But for now, you’ll accept the relief of not having to leave him.

Let me take care of you…Let me be your everything.

The memory of his words sends warmth radiating through your chest, even if he just said it to get you to stay. Even if he didn’t really mean it.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly. And you are.

Elvis doesn’t move for a moment, just letting you cling to him. Then he turns, bringing you close, and he finally kisses you, his pliant lips pressing hard and fierce and wanting against yours.

“Don’t ever try to leave me like that again, baby,” he says, pulling away, looking deeply into your eyes. He is trying, you think, to be as possessive and demanding as before, but the edge of his anger has been tempered, quelled, and has turned into something more imploring. Then, with that quintessentially Elvispuppy-dog look on his face, he blinks slowly and quietly adds, “I need you,” as though just realizing it himself.

And, with that, you realize for the first time that despite all your doubts, despite what he is hiding from you, despite every obstacle that wants to pile against you, the shitstorm that is coming is still going to hit hard, but it will hit you two together.

Taglist:

@atombombbibunny @yesimwriting @uselessbutinteresting @mirandastuckinthe80s @dark-as-love

@domaniquessidehoe @im-lame-irl @allybrooke05 @hangmanswhore

@jazmin2211 @kvcssghbjbcd @coldonexx @dudinhahoff @whatstruthgottodowithit @tiredbuthappy @amiets2 @saintmagx

@kvcssghbjbcd @butlersluvbot @babydollie43 @vainbimbo @meladollsims @wstelandbaby @dre6ming @normatural @ash-omalley @xcallmetaniax @galvz-42 @thejezebel @fullmetal-falcon @robinismywife @dre6ming @seaweedbrain00 @amiets2 @mslizziesblog @heisatroubleinapinksuit @calusussss @dont-feel-so-good-peter @rainydayz101 @pizzaisrelationshipgoals

@liaaacantwrite @kittenlittle24 @kaitaesupremacy @butler-trouble @eliseinmemphis @russian-soft-bitch @tattywood

@sassanoe @re3kin @thella @suspiciousmidge @hiddlepiddlediddlewiddle @carolinesbookworld @juggernort @aesthetic-lyss @stitchattacks @donnamarie23 @ab4eva

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thecontumacious · 3 years ago

Note

Hello! Can I request a Vox x reader where both Vox and reader streaming fnaf together, the idea came from Vox recently streaming fnaf sister location so hopefully you won’t mind.🙏I love your headcanons, I just followed you and I am really glad that more people are writing for Luxiem!

Cheeky Little Things

Pairing: Vox Akuma x Streamer!GN!Reader a/n: thank you so much for requesting, dear! and i totally agree there's a slight shortage of luxiem fics out there ;A;) i'm so glad i was able to watch him win and be so happy about it live<3 also, i didn't know if you wanted the fic in a headcanon form or paragraphs--hopefully you like it nonetheless!

you were in fact another nijisanji streamer and have become very close with all the members, eyeing a certain demon as your favorite companion hereby charged guilty for favoritism

you and vox just hit it off so naturally and practically did collabs every week at this point

your fandoms adore your interactions so it's a treat for everyone!

food for the clippers

thus, here you were, invited once again by vox to his channel to stream together

today's stream: 🔴 getting the secret ending (fnaf: sister location) ft. you!

it's pretty casual like usual with of course, the occasional flirtatious comments and innuendos cue vox yabai content

you making fun of vox's surprised yelps and then him teasing you back for your own shrieks from a jumpscare

"god fucking dammit--hey, stop laughing, y/n. you literally shrieked at that tiny little sound!"

"well yeah, but i didn't scream like a surprised chicken when i did."

"surprised chicken?? oh you little shit, i swear if i catch you screaming at something, let's see who's the real heart stricken poultry." 🐓

the chat: clip that, clippers

and then, came that one final round

okay, okay, vox might've said he didn't allow backseating but uhhhhhmaybeit'sokayifitwasyou?( •_•)

"oh no, vox, we have 30% left and it's still halfway..."

"holy fuck, she was there, vox, careful!"

"oh my god, fuck off already, he's running out of power!!"

totally not vox following your commands lol but worry not, he's not annoyed by it at all

if anything, he appreciates the extra support!

as a matter of fact, your little complaints always made him giggle to himself and he becomes more and more smitten every time you do it again <333

after a while, vox decides to take a quick break and you proceed to excuse yourself

"hold on, voxie, bathroom break."

"don't think about me too much in there," vox teases.

you laugh, "fuck you, that wasn't even a good one."

while you were gone, vox decided to read some supas when he thought of you to idly chat about

"you know, chat, these streams with y/n in particular are the most fun, don't you think? the shit we come up with is absolutely ridiculous," vox grins, thinking of your previous streams together and the chaos that ensues every time.

yes, he loves collabing with the other members of nijisanji, but he just had a soft spot for you and somehow, he's more himself when you're there to accompany him play a game hereby vox also charged guilty for favoritism

continuation utc!

it didn't help that your commentary was just as hilarious so after streaming, vox is always tired from the laughing and smiling

he goes back to reading supas and finds a very... interesting message.

"milord, what do you think of y/n like fr?"

this made him pause.

what did he think of you?

vox hums and takes a minute to find the right answer before saying, "well, let's see. they're really chill to be around and if i haven't exposed myself enough, you all know how much i find them to be so fucking cute. okay, now i'm just calling myself out here but i religiously watch their streams. did you see their last fnaf stream?? goddamn that was some skill."

"so is this like a fnaf date?"

"chat, i'd flatter myself and definitely call it a fnaf date. nothing more romantic than sitting together in a discord call and shit talk animatronics together, right? fuck yeah. but well you know, i'm not sure if they don't mind me calling it that to be honest."

"dw, milord! they said they like you too!"

vox froze upon reading the chat as pink begins to dust his cheeks, thanking the universe the camera wasn't able to catch that.

you liked him too ... huh. that was quite something he had to absorb in properly...

well, yeah, sure. people thirst over him all the time calling you out, kindred but the thought of you gushing over him? it just felt different, the one person he was admittedly the most comfortable with compared to anyone else

vox then smiles, chuckling

"you really think so, chat? awee, guess i'll ask them later--oh? they're waking up from their nap, it seems."

"i heard some talking before i came in here. you weren't shit talking me now, were you, voxie?"

"oh of course not, my dear! are we good to go?"

"yep, yep, let's go."

and then it's back to the final stage of the game.

again, you're cheering him on and cursing out circus baby whenever she stayed at a door for too long

and while you meant good intentions with the "ganbakuma"s and "you can do it, voxie"s, it gave the exact opposite effect on the demon

the more you cheered him on, the more he felt distracted because obviously, you were just too fucking adorable for him

vox simply just could not resist you( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

"ah, nope, we're not gonna make it," vox finally denounces, the tension loosening just a bit as circus baby made her appearance on screen, ending the round

"doesn't like the battery in this one suck so bad though?" you comment

"oh totally. how the fuck are we down so quick?"

battery-kun slander

you giggle, "well, can't be helped, voxie."

"oh, we've been streaming a while. we'll stop until about... 12 JST."

"awee but that's like 30 more minutes:("

and vox absolutely lost it at your little whine--

did he just hear his demon heart break? 💔

okay, you can't imagine the determination he has now fired up to make sure he ends his stream on a good note today 🔥🔥🔥

impress you, that's what he means

but of course, he didn't make it this round and unfortunately it had already struck 12 JST

"awe, that sucks, voxie. that's the last round though, right?"

not vox losing it again--

"okay, okay, just one more round."

HIS HEART WRENCHED WHEN HE HEARD THE DISAPPOINTMENT IN YOUR VOICE OKAY >:( plus he wants to be with you just a bitttt longer

the screen reads 5 am and vox's power is at a very nerve wrecking 1%

"oh my fucking god, are we gonna make it??? is this it??" you whisper nervously

"i don't know i don't think we'll make it fuck. ahhh goddammit"

and then the screen turns black and vox is first to groan of annoyance, 1) because he had lost for the nth time today on the same goddamn level and 2) he hadn't managed to impress you

"WAIT VOX LOOK"

he turns to his pc again and see his winning screen

"OH MY GOD--YEAHHHHHHHH!!!"

"POG VOXIE POG!" you clap your hands excitedly for vox and he is even more hyped up, knowing that he won AND impressed you!!

"yESSSSSS" vox cheers once again and you're still laughing and cheering for his long awaited victory

"good job, vox!" you say

"i'm so happy! DID YOU SEE THAT, Y/N? OH MY FUCKING GOD DID YOU SEE THAT MIRACLE???"

"YES U MONKE I DID! SO POG!"

he's so precious omg

"well, there it was, kindred! i finally did it!"

"chat, he was actually super cool. did you see that happening what in the actual fuckkkk"

"i know right???? anyway, thank you all for sticking around, to accompany me here today. and you, y/n, thank you for all the lovely support. i mean, we won because of it! i suppose you're now my lucky charm, huh? i hope i get to have you as my future cheerleader again~"

you giggle, "voxie, i'd love to be your future cheerleader again one day. thanks for having me here too, kindred~ i had so much fun with vox today!"

"awe, isn't that lovely to hear? alright, i'll see you for tomorrow's stream for some old school runescape. have a lovely day, good bye!"

vox finally ends the stream on youtube, but he's still online with you on the discord call

"holy shit, i still can't believe that happened"

"i know right? i was just as surprised as you were! but rly, good job today!"

vox: (〃‿〃✿)

"thank you, you're too sweet." then vox suddenly remembers an earlier chat... "hey, y/n, what do you think of me?"

"hm? what's with that question huh?"

"oh, nothing. your chat may have ratted you out."

"ratted me out how, pray tell?"

vox grins, "someone did say that you fancy me. is that true, my dear?"

hsjwhjdwha

"oh what the fuck--th-they said that, huh? cheeky little things…”

“cheeky indeed,” vox chuckles. “care to humor my question?”

“w-well! i guess i do! you’re very friendly and super fun to be around. i like your funny commentaries and just… you know, i like being around you basically. i always have fun when i'm with you is all. i wish we could collab more too.”

“you know i wouldn’t mind that right?” vox beams. “i’m always about messing up my schedules.”

“you rly should do something about that. but if you’re up for it, i’ll set up a collab schedule too," you laugh.

“that’s it then. you should get some rest first, though. i’ll keep in touch.”

“no it’s alright, i’m off tomorrow.”

“oh? are you saying you want to hang out with me more?” insert sussy face

“v-vox!”

“i’m kidding! unless…?” insert sussy face (2)

“jesus christ, vox shut your trap!” then you mute on discord out of embarrassment but you chat him, “go do your chores or something you twat”

then vox just smiles and is about to log off when a notification comes in from you

“i’ll call you later okay? you rest up too, vox."

"you too, y/n."

(´• ω •`) ♡

bless this man omfg

Masterlist!

#luxiem #luxiem x reader #kinfiction #vox akuma #nijisanji #nijisanjien #vox x reader #vox akuma x reader #author chan’s delivery service ?

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violetlilysunshine · 3 years ago

Text

Plenty of Times

Boyfriend Chris Evans x Female Reader

Requested - Anon: Hey! Is it all right to request for Chris Evans where reader comes in after a girls night and just dotes on him and loves on him and its sickeningly fluffy and he’s like what’s gotten into you? and reader breaks down because one of her friends vented that her husband is abusive and neglectful and she sees how important it is to have a good man in her life 🤍

WC: 1,619

Warnings: Pet names [bubba, babe, honey], talk of a bad relationship [neglectful husband - but not about Chris/reader], mention of phone sex [but it doesn’t happen here]

A/N: I’m so so so so sorry this took so long, I’m working on clearing out my inbox though!

IF YOUR NAME IS SCRATCHED OUT I CAN’T TAG YOU - I’VE STARTED REMOVING PEOPLE, SO IF IT’S NOT WORKING AND YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED SHOOT ME A MESSAGE AND WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT

MASTERLIST - Join my TAGLIST

You haven't gone out with your friends in so long. You’re all busy with your own stuff - work and relationships, some with kids to care for. So, when the opportunity arises, Chris encourages you to take advantage of it.

The night was pretty simple, dinner, a couple of glasses of wine, and a few shared desserts before everyone was ready to head home. Most of your friends were not night owls like you by any standard, so when dinner wrapped up early, it was no surprise. At least that meant you got to go home to your man.

“Bubba?” you called as you walked through the front door.

“In here,” he answered.

You followed his voice to the living room, finding him lounging on the chaise sofa, Dodger soundly asleep next to him. Some movie played on the screen; you hadn’t paid attention to it long enough to know what it was.

You headed to the connected kitchen, dropping your keys and purse on the island, hanging your jacket on the back of one of the barstools, and slipping out of your boots before hurrying back to Chris.

He paused the movie when he heard you approach him from behind. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your hands splayed across his chest, as you pressed a long kiss to his temple.

He hummed at the contact, placing one hand over the top of both of yours, before turning his neck to meet your lips with his.

The kiss was sweet and simple, you could feel him smile against your lips as you lingered longer and longer into it.

He chuckled when you finally pulled away, a big smile etched across his face and a glimmer in his eyes.

You unraveled from his neck and stepped around the sofa. Dodger finally perked up when he heard you walking and you greeted him of course.

“Hey, bub,” you whispered, scratching Dodger’s head for a second before turning to Chris, “can we cuddle?” you asked quietly.

“Sure, babe, we can always cuddle,” he answered with a small smile, opening the blanket for you.

You slipped under, resting between his legs with your back on his chest. He wrapped the blanket and his arms around you, splaying his palms over your upper chest and rubbing gently, just as you had done to him. You ran your nails over his arm as light as a feather with one hand, the other rested on top of his clasped hands, tangling your fingers with one set of his as best you could in this position.

You tugged on his hand, pulling his arm further over your shoulder so you could place kisses on his bicep.

“How was girl’s night?” he asked, placing a light kiss to the top of your head.

“Fine,” you whispered, squeezing his hands for a second, “was nice to see everyone. They all seemed to need a good vent,” you ended with a breathy chuckle.

You felt his laugh rumble through your body, “don’t they always?” he asked, another kiss being placed on top of your head as he looped his legs around yours.

“Seems like,” you giggled, stroking his calf with your foot.

“Well I hope it was nice either way,” he said, “I’m glad you got to see them.”

“Mm, yeah, me too,” you answered quietly.

He slipped one hand from your grasp to grab the remote, causing a whine to leave your lips, disappearing into his skin as you had your lips placed on his bicep again.

He chuckled at the noise, “want me to start it over?” he nodded, making reference to the movie.

“No, it’s okay,” you whisper, pressing another lingering kiss to his arm.

“You sure? I’m not that far into it...”

“I’m sure, I won’t really be paying attention anyway.”

“Why’s that?” he asked, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Can’t focus with you wrapped around me,” you giggled.

“Mm, yeah, sorry not sorry,” he laughed, playing the movie again.

You giggled, bringing his hand up to your lips to give it a kiss.

He gave his other hand back to you and you entwined your fingers with it as well, giving both of his hands small squeezes every once in a while.

You placed random kisses on his arms, pulling his hands up every now and again to press kisses to them as well. You didn’t want to do it too often, so you wouldn’t annoy him, but you couldn’t help but give him a few.

You tilted your head to look up at him, his eyes focused on the movie before he looked down at you.

“What’s up?” he asked, his voice sounding a little tired.

“Nothing,” you whispered, passing him a small smile.

“You’re lying,” he said, placing a kiss on your forehead, “what’s on your mind?”

You sighed deeply, “have I told you how much I love you?”

He reached over and paused the movie, quickly tangling his hand with yours again: “all the time,” he smiled.

“And how great you are?”

“Plenty of times,” he chuckled.

“And how thankful I am for you?”

“More than once,” he answered, a sense of questioning coming into his voice.

“And how kind and good you are to me?”

“Never in those words, but you deserve it more than anything,” he said, “where’s this coming from?”

“Jenn was really upset tonight,” you started.

“And that has to do with me, how?”

“She was talking about how rough her marriage is. And I know everyone says the first year is the hardest, but he doesn’t prioritize her, and never really has, and if I’m being honest I always thought she could do better; and she feels so disconnected from him and he’s so distant and she’s just not happy,” you rambled, tears pricking at your eyes, “and of course the whole time she was talking I felt so bad for her, but I couldn’t help thinking that I’m so lucky to have a guy like you and that made me feel even worse. Ya know? Like guilty because I was sitting there thinking ‘well at least I’m not in her shoes,’ and, god, you’re so good to me and I appreciate and love you so much. Don’t feel like I tell you that enough, but, you’re the best,” you finished, taking a deep breath.

“Honey,” Chris soothed, “you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, first off. It’s not your fault he treats her like crap, and all you can do is support her with whatever she chooses to do about it. She can leave, or they could go to therapy, or she might just ignore it all together, but the only thing you can and should do is listen to her vent and offer support, or sometimes advice if she asks for it.”

You smile, “I know, but it’s just a shitty situation. Like I wish she wasn’t going through it, because she’s great, and I wish he was as good to her as you are to me.”

“Well no one’s as good as me,” Chris joked, trying to lift your spirits.

You laughed lightly in response, turning over a little bit and scooting up so you could lay face to face with him.

“Second,” he continued, “I’m only giving you what you deserve. Wish I could do a lot more sometimes, if I’m honest,” he said almost under his breath as he wrapped his arms around your back.

“Chris, you do more than enough! I should be doing more for you!”

“Babe, you give me everything I could ever want,” he smiles, “you’re amazing. Wish I could do more, like I wish I wasn’t away from you so much. Don’t like leaving you, ever.”

“You’re the best,” you lean forward, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth, “you do plenty for me even when you’re away.”

“Not nearly enough,” he says, “gotta come up with something new for us.”

“We’ve done plenty of new things while you’re away.”

“Yeah? You think?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hey, without you, I never would’ve tried phone sex,” you giggle, “love trying new things as long as it’s with you. Especially that thing...”

He lets out a breathy laugh at that, “I love you too,” he says, referring back to your ramble but also your willingness to try anything for and with him.

You giggle, this time pecking his lips, “I don’t deserve you,” you whisper against his mouth.

“No, you don’t,” he says shortly.

You pull away from him, not expecting that to come out of his mouth.

“You deserve better,” he smiles, a glimmer in his eye again.

“You’re so corny!” you laugh loudly, causing Dodger to grumble next to Chris.

“Sorry, bub,” you laugh at Dodge.

“Let’s go to bed, yeah?” Chris suggests.

“What about the movie?” you ask, tipping your head towards the TV.

“Eh, won’t be able to pay attention now anyway, and I’ve lost the flow,” he shrugs.

“Sorry to interrupt,” you whisper, stroking a few fingers across his cheekbone.

“‘S alright,” he whispers, “like you better anyway.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, eyelids heavy as they start to flutter closed for a kiss.

Chris closes the distance between the two of you, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, “I love you,” he whispers into your mouth.

“I love you too,” you whisper back.

Your lips seal in a gentle kiss, and he brings a hand up to rest on your cheek before pulling back: “you can always make it up to me anyway,” he says, a smile giving away his attempt at being serious.

You laugh at him, “alright, bubba, let’s get you to bed.”

TAGLIST: @hogwartsmarvelmommy @tulipholland @cupids-crystals @sunwardsss @mrspeacem1nusone @elishi03 @golden-hoax @patzammit @serrendiipty @katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict @high-on-darren-criss @gnemgn @amelia-song-pond @scorpiowidow @multixfandomwriter @wildxwidow @na-nou83 @fdl305 @gotbangtan @dumbhead1 @evansxchalamet

#chris evans #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x fem reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans oneshot #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans fanfic #cevans fluff #cevans #cevans x reader #cevans x female reader #violetlilysunshine #violetwrites

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hertzwritings · 3 years ago

Text

Between the pages, chapter 4

A/N: Friends, loves, babes… I love you. Simple as that. Thank you for your support and love, it means the WORLD to me, I can’t even say, honestly. Let’s get into it before I start crying because I’m a small, little, sensitive bitch. Love you and appreciate you all so much. You can buy me a coffee here, and I’ll write you a personalized drabble/one-shot/multi-chapter fic! It would help SO MUCH with the amount of bills I’ve got floating around my head.

Feedback feeds the soul and requests (and askbox) are always open – there’s no limits because I am me, and I have none.

MASTERLIST

BETWEEN THE PAGES MASTERLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

Pairing: AU!Henry Cavill x female reader

Warnings: Language, pining, fluff

Wordcount: 2.779

Previous chapter

Bookstore girl

Henry kept glancing at her as her eyes darted across the pages, reading all he had written over the last few weeks; her brows were furrowed a little, a crinkle just on the top of her nose and her lips a little open. The office was dark, the sun long gone and the outside world was dark from his windows. “What do you think?” He asked, a little nervously – he never really got nervous about his academic writings, but for some reason, he was worried about her opinion. She sighed and looked at him, the small wrinkle between her brows still present; he almost wanted to reach out and smooth it out with his finger. “Well… Uh, it’s…” “Oh god.” He sat down, ready for judgement, hiding his face behind his hands. She laughed a little.

“No, it’s not bad, it’s just… A little… Uhm, how can I say this… Cold? Oppressed?” Her fingers pried his away from his face. “It’s not bad, I promise, but it’s not what you set out to do.” He exhaled a hard breath. “I should give up.” He sighed desperately. “No, not unless you want to. I think it’s still salvageable.” She said gently. “Like… Maybe remove the parts about love being a state of mind brought on by the infatuation of classic novels and their…” She glanced at the paper. “Unobtainable, misguided standards.” She laughed a little. “It’s the truth. Classic romance is an unobtainable standard.” She shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Have you never felt the pull of your heart as you gaze at a person, you find intriguing? The way your breath hitches and your heart speeds up when they smile?” She smiled softly. “Or the way life just seems to fall into place when they touch your hand, even for a brief second?” He raised his eyebrows. “You really are a hopeless romantic.” He said with a grin. “Maybe I am, but that definitely makes my life a lot happier and more hopeful.” “Or it makes you constantly on the lookout for something more than you have.” He retorted. “Oh lord, let’s just leave the paper as is, I’m not going to be able to convince you of anything, am I?”

He grinned. The fact of the matter was, that he definitely did know those things, she talked about. He felt them around her, but he refused to think it was something like true love; it didn’t fit anything he’d known before. It couldn’t be true love. It was just… His age catching up to his heart, maybe. Or he liked her enthusiasm. “Probably not.” She rolled her eyes at him and ran a hand over her neck before fanning herself a little.

“Jesus, it’s hot in here.” She said in a low voice. “Oh, yeah. Er, I saw your hands and remembered that you were cold in the car, and I thought that it was too cold in here.” “Oh.” He glanced at her and felt his cheeks flush. “Thank you.” She smiled at him. “No problem.” “You know, maybe we should take a break from writing? I think we need food.” He nodded. “We do. Any ideas?” He asked, pulling his phone out and quickly shooting a message to Tom, that he wouldn’t be coming for dinner today. She didn’t need to know that he had other plans, and a part of him didn’t want to end the night anyway; he enjoyed her company. “Well, I want to educate you. On food and on love. So…” She beamed at him and stood up. “We’re going to my place; I’m cooking for you and then we’ll watch a movie. Maybe two.” He laughed. “Oh, is that so?” She nodded. “Have you ever seen the movies made on the books, you hate?” He shook his head. “Why would I? I mean, I know the storylines anyway.” She sighed and rolled her eyes at him.

“You’re wildly uneducated. We’re watching movies. Come on.” He grabbed his coat and followed her, turning the lights off as they left the office. The drove in silence, her wild driving sending his heart into his throat – she was definitely not a polite driver. When she pulled over to an apartment building and stilled the car, she was about to say something, but a coughing fit overtook her. He frowned, a little worried about her, because it sounded harsh and lasted too long for his liking. “Are you alright?” She nodded and wiped her eyes. “Yeah, dry spot.” She croaked and got out. Something about it felt like she was brushing him off and it worried him.

They walked to her apartment, and she opened the door with a smile.

As he stepped inside of her apartment, he was hit with the scent of her like a wall. Wildflowers, lilac and lavender seemed to permeate the air, and he drew a long breath in, savoring how much more intense it seemed to be in here. He looked around with a smile; it was a small-ish apartment, but it was very much her, as he had come to know her. Soft colors and candles were everywhere and the entire length of one of the walls in the living room was covered floor to ceiling with a bookshelf, that was overflowing with books. It looked like she’d run out of space, and started stacking the books on top of each other, cramming them in where se could. A pile of books stood next to the couch as well. The kitchen was small and cozy – nothing of what she owned, didn’t seem to come from the same place or time, as if she just piled together décor and furniture from several decades together – and it looked amazing. It was full of life, even the patina on the tables and chairs seemed to fit together with the older-looking pillow cases and mis-matched cups.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back.” She said cheerily before disappearing into a room, he guessed was the bedroom. He looked around the living room, his fingers dragging against the spines of her books. He grinned as he recognized several titles; she had good taste.

He sat on the couch, almost sinking completely into the soft pillows and grunted, as he pulled something hard out from his back; it was the book, he had given her on her birthday. He couldn’t help himself, letting it fall open and skimming through the well-worn pages. A single piece of paper rested neatly between the pages.

I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed. She had written it herself with pen, the ridges of the pen’s tip deeper in some places. It was a beautiful quote he remembered from A.S Byatt’s novel, Possession; he loved it himself and was pleasantly surprised that she knew about it. It was one of the books, he felt was criminally overlooked.

“I already finished it. Twice.” Her voice rang out and he closed the book to look at her. She looked happy and had changed from her work-attire to a pair of leggings, a loose t-shirt and an open sweater, that almost swallowed her. “It’s good.” He simply answered. She nodded and pointed to the kitchen. “I’m going to get started on some food. Join me?” He smiled and his heart skipped a beat when she turned, walking to the kitchen; her hair was thrown up, and a fleeting thought of kissing the bare neck came to him.

“What are you making?” “Oh… Well, I was going to make like a really great quiche and all that, but my eggs have gone bad.” She frowned and he again felt the need to smooth out the wrinkle between her eyebrows. “I guess… Order in?” she asked with a grin. “Not a problem for me.” She grabbed a few beers and her phone, scrolling through an app to find something to eat, while she handed him a beer. He took it gratefully. Something about this felt an awful lot like a casual date. “How about Chinese?” She asked. “Sure.” He pulled his head out of the thoughts of kissing her neck and if they were on an actual date and unscrewed the cap of his beer. “Cool. Now, sit down and let me find you a great movie so you can understand why we, as a people, love romance.” He followed suit, sitting down on the couch as she pulled out a DVD from a stack next to the tv. “I didn’t know people still used DVD’s.” He grinned. “I do. There’s something about owning it, that just makes me feel good.” She quickly put it on and sat down next to him, cross-legged on the couch. Her knee bumped his leg, and he felt his heart speed up and cheeks heat; this was beyond idiotic. He wasn’t a teenager. “We’re starting out strong with something sweet and funny, then we’ll move to heartbreak and longing glances.” She said with a wide smile. “And what’s that?” He asked, taking a sip of his beer, and leaning back. “The Princess Bride, of course.” She said as if it was obvious. “Also, I’ve been told I have no boundaries when I’m watching movies, so I hope you don’t mind me squealing, talking along and maybe using you as a pillow.” He raised and eyebrow at her as the opening of the movie began. “Allowed.”

------------------------

It had been quite fun. They had eaten Chinese food straight from the boxes, both completely enthralled by the movie, and it felt like he had blinked, and it was over. He had looked at her several times during The Princess Bride and had smiled a little to himself; she was so wrapped up in the movie, her eyes glinting and smile ever present on her painted lips, she didn’t even notice him looking at her. The movie was good – he hadn’t expected to like it so much, but the entire plot had kept him really entertained throughout. It had been surprisingly fun to watch, and he had appreciated it for what it was, although he hardly counted it as a romance.

And that movie let them to this one; they were currently watching Romeo and Juliet, a story he knew very well, having written his dissertation on it, when he finished his PhD, but he had never actually seen the “modern” movie. They were halfway through it, and Y/N had leaned against him, her eyes trained on the screen and lips silently moving along with the lines. He had a hard time looking away from her.

“This is one of my favorite lines…” She mumbled. “Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like a thorn.” She sighed happily and her body relaxed even more against his. “The way he says it just…” She sighed again. “He’s right, isn’t he?” He said in a quiet voice. “Love is too rough and pricks like a thorn.” She smiled. “Maybe. But Mercutio is right. If love be rough with you, be rough with love. There’s not love without a little fight, you know?” “Is that what you think? That love…” He frowned. “I’m not saying that love means fighting all the time and big arguments. I mean… Sometimes you have to struggle with love. You can’t just dance with it, sometimes… It throws you. Like with Romeo and Juliet, they had to fight to be together, and even then, it didn’t work out in the sense, we’d like it too. I think that’s love, too, not just the happiness and good times. I think love can hurt as it should, because if it didn’t hurt, how would you know that you truly loved?” She sat up to look at him, the sonnets from the TV their backdrop. “What’s the point of loving, when you know that in the end, somehow or another, it’s grief? You know it’ll end. Sometimes it’s going to be quick, because love fades, sometimes because life does.” She grabbed her beer and paused the movie. “Because you can’t go through life and shield yourself from pain, love and suffering and happiness. You can’t choose one and leave the other. They’re… Companions.” She sipped her beer. “I think we often mistake love for happiness, because you feel happy when you’re in it, but love is so much more. I’d hate for my life to end without having experienced love in all the ways it comes. Familiar love, love for friends and companions, love for love’s sake. Love is many splendor things, Henry, and you’d be amiss if you decided to live a full life without it, because it’s not a full life.” “How did you get so philosophical?” He asked, deeply impressed with her way of thinking and understanding life. “I realized a few years ago that life can end so easily. From one day to another, you can just cease to exists, you know? And how wasted would life be, if I were to die tomorrow, if I didn’t believe in fairytales and love?” “But…” He frowned again and brough the bottle of beer to his lips. “What if you die and all you’ve seen was heartbreak?” She smiled sadly. “Then I also experienced love. It was just a love that ended.” “With that thinking, how do you believe in true love?” She sighed and leaned back into the couch, tucking her legs under her. “I don’t know. Maybe my idea of true love is different to yours? He jests at scars that never felt a wound.” She pointed to the still movie. “Romeo says that at some point. Which is what you’re doing. You’re refusing to believe it, because you haven’t felt it.”

He scoffed. “I’ve known love, darling.” He didn’t miss the way her cheeks flushed. “Have you? Or have you just experienced a fleeting infatuation?” to that, he had no answer. “Just start the movie.” She grinned and pressed play again, scooting to his side and fell against it, his arm hovering above her side. “I won’t break if you touch me, Henry.” She might as well could, because he felt like he was at a breaking point. A tiny sliver of him felt terrified that if he touched her, he’d never want to stop doing it. She simply huffed and grabbed his wrist with cold fingers and placed it on her arm.

He couldn’t focus on the movie. The feeling of her steady breathing on him, her arm against his was enough to send him into overdrive. She was ethereal as she laid against his side, her head relaxed against his chest, feet scooched under the fluffy pillows at the end of the couch, and her hair falling out of place, the color contrasting his light-blue shirt. He forgot how to breathe, when she wrapped her arm around his waist and nuzzled closer. If she didn’t want him to fall in love with him, she was making it damn hard for him. There was something about her, he couldn’t quite place; something she kept behind lock and key, a part of her she didn’t dare show him.

“Can I ask, who hurt you?” She asked softly. “What do you mean?” His fingers moved on their own, drawing small circles on the part of er arm, that was bared from the sweater. “Like… Who made you distrust love so much?” He sighed. He didn’t know if he wanted to tell her. Maybe it would be crossing a line. “No one, really. I just grew old and cynical.” He said with a slight chuckle. “Fat chance, but I’ll let it slide.”

Not even thirty minutes later, tears were streaming down her face as the credits rolled. He had to admit, it was something to read it, but something else entirely to see it acted out – it was beautiful. He even had a lump in his throat and wet eyes. “God, it’s just so unfair. They were young and in love, and their families…” She wiped her eyes and hiccupped. “Roses can grow from dirty soil.” He said sagely. She chuckled. “One more?” she asked timidly. He glanced at his clock; thank god it was Saturday tomorrow. “Sure.” She grinned. “My favorite is coming up!”

And there they sat, Pride and Prejudice running over the screen, her body against his, the quiet of the night outside the windows, until they both drifted off to sleep; Henry half-laying, half-sitting, his arm slung over hers, and her steady breathing lulling him to sleep.

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