#I also see Eddie as such a wife guy because he would literally do anything for Steve

[strawberryyyenthusiast]

I like to think that Steve would just put his cgm on and leave it at that. But once him and Eddie start dating (three weeks in), Eddie orders custom made patches from etsy that have super cute designs on them.

Some have books, bees, leaves, flowers, lots of nature stuff that Eddie knows Steve would love. Then there are the ones that are black, have bats on them, basically just the whole “metal aesthetic” that Eddie gets for shits and giggles.

Eddie gives these to Steve and Steve just starts sobbing. Full on ugly crying because no one had ever gone the extra mile for him until Eddie. Not until their chance meeting at that stupid Dairy Queen and Eddie’s monstrous blizzard. Steve immediately has Eddie put one onto the dexcom that’s on his left arm, which kind of feels like a huge step in their relationship.

Steve kisses Eddie stupid and doesn’t even deny that he got snot and tears on his face. He’s just too happy.

Steve is kind of gross (but in an endearing way) and saves each sensor cover in a little binder. Eddie is so in love and Robin is kind of disgusted.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Orange Blossoms

Pairing: Buck x reader

Word count: 4.3k

Notes: I don’t put safe sex warnings because if you’re old enough to be reading my work you’re old enough to know how irresponsible it is NOT to practice safe sex. That being said 🤣🤣🤣 don’t share makeup. That’s my warning, especially face makeup.

Chapter 4: Strawberry Crush

It is a lot harder to hide the fact that Buck is going on a date than he thought it was. 

Hen is the first to notice he’s wearing his good cologne to work, Chim notices he got his hair trimmed and Bobby notices that all too telling little strut he gets when he’s feeling himself 

Eddie points out he totally got a manicure, just to not seem suspicious. 

“Who is she?” Chim asks as they’re restocking the truck together 

“Who’s who?” Buck pretends to be nonchalant, not even turning to face him 

“The girl. You’ve been way too giddy the last couple of days… there has to be someone” 

“Oh, so a guy can’t be happy?” He scoffs and Chimney rolls his eyes 

“You don’t get like this unless you’re going on a date, Buck. Face it, we all know it!” 

“Even if I was going on a date, which I’m not!!! I wouldn't tell you guys. You’d have her checked out every which way by Athena!”

“We just want to make sure they’re good for you okay?! We care about you”

Buck sighs, looking down at the floor before turning his head to look at Chimney 

“You have to promise you won’t tell” He whispers, there’s no point in not telling Chim… he knows for a fact Maddie probably already has 

“I can’t tell you who she is, I just can’t. But I am going on a date okay? And she’s everything I’ve ever wanted in my entire life and I’m so nervous I’m gonna screw this up”

“Y/N is a sweet girl, Buck, I highly doubt you’re going to mess anything up. Just be yourself okay? Just be the sweet guy we all know you are and it’ll be okay” 

“Are you sure?” He’s starting to wring his hands now and Chim rolls his eyes, putting his hands on Buck’s shoulders and making him look at him 

“I was this scared when I started dating your sister… and look how things turned out for us! Uncle Buck” 

It’s reassuring to hear from someone else and not just Eddie that things will go smoothly, he kinda wishes he could tell Bobby, he’d love some advice. But it’s also just the tiniest bit exciting to be hiding it from him. Which is bad he knows but it’s fine it’ll work out, or Bobby will light him on fire.

He takes a deep breath, relaxing into the truck. He leans his head against the cool metal and looks at Chimney 

“She couldn’t have not told you it was Y/N” 

“My wife and I thoroughly enjoy the tea Buck, especially if it’s big about us!” 

May is helping you get ready, you both tore the room apart trying to put together the perfect outfit. Now she’s got you sat down at the vanity as she helps finish up your makeup 

“I was so confident with him in the beginning, but like… he likes me, likes me. And he’s so flirty-“You sigh and she holds your head still 

“Yeah that sounds like him,” She says as she carefully draws a white wing on your eyelid 

“Do you remember what I told you about what he said about the closet?! I should have said bet” You watch her grab another pen from the table 

“He literally would have died, he’s dramatic as hell I would have loved to see that” She chuckles 

“I know! I should have…” You start to pout and she smirks, spraying setting spray for you 

“I don’t know. What if I mess things up? I’ve never….I’ve had dates before you know?… but none like him”

“Do you like him that much?” 

“I think so” You blush and she smirks, stepping backward and handing you a pretty mirror to look into 

“I think you’re going to have that chance to knock him dead” She turns you around in your chair to face the mirror and you gasp, squealing and hugging her to you

“This is perfect”

Buck hates that he has to pick you up down the street. He wants to come up to your door, ring the doorbell, and hold your hand as he walks you to the car. But he’ll have to settle for leaning against his jeep and waiting for you to come down the sidewalk 

You’ve both agreed…Bobby doesn’t need to know about this just yet. 

He’s messing around on his phone, frantically texting Eddie when he hears you coming. Your black Mary Jane’s are tall. They make your legs look so long, he could just stare at them forever. His eyes trail up the black tights you’ve got on, to the tiny little mini skirt with a small slit in the thigh. Your red shirt is so romantic, the material is so soft and pretty. The sweetheart neckline just does things to him. Your collarbones are highlighted and he loves that, he loves the light glittery sheen on your chest again, it catches the moonlight perfectly, really all of your makeup is nice. And that sweet white bow in your hair sends him. You’re too sweet for him, it's official. 

He’s literally delirious… okay maybe not literally but he’s close. 

“H-hi” His voice cracks and he internally groans. So glad that’s back 

“Hi” You give him a little wave and he pushes up from his spot on the jeep. He walks up to you and hugs you, taking a deep breath just to calm down. It’s not helpful in the least, he knows that scent, he’s smelled it before when Maddie’s dragged him to bath and body works. It drove him crazy just from the bottle… and now his favorite girl is wearing it. 

“You uh- you ready to go?” He asks as he opens the door, taking your hand and helping you in. He carefully shuts the door and takes his time walking to his side, just trying to gather his thoughts. 

“I’m sorry we have to meet like this,” you say shyly and he shakes his head, leaning in and kissing your cheek 

“I’d meet you at the restaurant if I had to… me wanting to drive you is just me being selfish. I want as much time with you as possible” 

“I know what you mean,” you say, your cheeks flushing when he kisses you. He pulls your seatbelt a little tighter and you’re off, he keeps one hand on the steering wheel and the other in your lap, you hold onto him, playing with his fingers and he’s trying not to crash the car because you’re too cute. 

He makes small talk on the way, most of it’s just him rambling awkwardly because he’s so nervous, but it’s making you laugh and he loves that sound so he doesn’t mind. Okay well, he does mind the part where he let it spill that he had to take two showers because he was so nervous the first time he showered he forgot to wash like half his body. But the rest he can deal with 

He pulls into the parking lot of a fancy restaurant, it’s a nice place and your eyes widen for a moment 

“We’re eating here?” You ask and he takes your hand and helps you from the Jeep 

“Yeah? I-is this okay? We can go somewhere else if you want. I probably should have okayed it with you first I’m so-“

“No! No Buck this is perfect. It’s- I'm just” 

You’re starting to get nervous and that kind of calms him down a bit, he puts his hands on your shoulders and smiles softly 

“Hey, what’s wrong…is this too much for you?” His voice is soothing as he watches you 

“I…I feel kind of underdressed” You gesture to your outfit and he scoffs, taking you inside anyway. 

“Reservation for Buckley,” He tells the maitre’d and the man nods, grabbing two menus 

“Mr. and Mrs. Buckley if you’ll just follow me” he leads you both to a more secluded area, It is quieter over here, away from the majority of the chaos of the restaurant, and its calming

Buck pulls out your chair for you and you smile, sitting down. He sits in his chair and bites his lip 

“You look…” he gestures awkwardly and you smirk, your nerves finally quieting a little. He knows he should have complimented you earlier when he first saw you. But you just kind of… broke his brain 

“I look?” You trail off and he shrugs, his cheeks are so flushed and he can feel his palms sweating 

“G-good. More than good, so crazy, wonderfully, deliciously, good. Please don’t worry about if you’re underdressed because you’re not… Mrs. Buckley” 

You giggle and shake your head, kicking at his shin lightly under the table 

“Not gonna correct him huh?” 

“Oh hell no, I quite enjoy hearing “Mrs. Buckley” don’t you?” 

You raise an eyebrow and grab your menu, purposely holding it in front of your face so you can’t see him

“Hmmmm how does chicken Alfredo sound?”

You don’t get an answer from him at all and you put your menu down 

“Buck I was just-“

He’s giving you the biggest, sweetest, saddest, puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen and your heart melts instantly for him 

“Oh come on!!! That’s not fair!! You look so cute oh my god” You reach across the table and cup his face in your hands and he snickers while you baby him 

“Chicken Alfredo sounds delicious, baby,” he says and you kick his leg again 

“I hate you!!”

“Hmm no you don’t” he winks “I kiss you too good”

You roll your eyes at him, putting the menu back up in front of your face so he can’t see how badly he’s making you blush

“You um…. You don’t look so bad yourself you know” You’re mumbling and he’s smirking

“Oh?” He bats his eyelashes playfully and picks up his menu. He can tell how frazzled it’s making you to compliment him and he’s over the moon 

“Maybe I’ll get a steak,” He says, peeking over his menu, he can just see your eyes… you pretty, pretty eyes. There’s glitter there too, your red eyeshadow looks expertly done and he even notices little white hearts dotting your eyelids 

“Steak sounds good,” you say, as he watches you nervously biting the inside of your cheek. 

“You look really pretty, did you do your makeup?” 

Your eyes shoot up to his and you realize he’s been staring at you the entire time 

“M-May helped with the finer details, she’s got a very steady hand”

“Oh, did she do the hearts? I like those” 

“Actually it was a stamp!” You tell him excitedly and he loves the way your eyes widen 

“Wait I have it-“ you do through the small white purse May lent you and pull out the little stamper 

“See?” You hand it to him and he grins, looking it over 

“Can I use it too? So we can match?” 

You nod eagerly as he opens it, twisting the bottom and testing it on his hand 

“Oh this is cute, maybe you and May can do my makeup someday” He chuckles and holds it out to you

“Do it for me?” 

“R-right now?” You look around, and there’s only a couple other people seated where you guys are 

“Yeah, why not?” He waves the pen in front of you “Please?” 

You get up from your chair, your cheeks burning as you stand in front of him, he opens his legs, pulling you closer to him and you blink rapidly, stumbling a little. 

“Careful…” He mumbles, looking up at you. Your hands are a little shaky as you put little hearts all over his face and he hums softly, his eyes closing. 

“Feels nice,” He says his eyes flutter open when you’re done. You bite your lip and put the cap on the little pen

“Looks nice too” you mutter and he grins, smoothing his hands over your hips 

“Can I have a kiss?” 

You nod, your cheeks burning and bend down, cupping his face in your hands and kissing him. He lets out a gleeful little sigh and kisses you back, his hands slide up your back, pulling you closer to him 

“Tastes nice” He purrs, his head is spinning and he just wants you. He’d take you right now if he could. “Like strawberries”

“It’s the lipgloss” You pull away from him some and he pouts, still holding onto you 

“Buck, behave” you scold him playfully and he whines quietly, letting you go reluctantly. You sit back in your seat, put your makeup back in your purse, and look at him, he’s covered in little white hearts and the glitter from your makeup, and he looks heavenly. His eyes are slightly dazed from the kiss and he looks absolutely smitten 

Dinner goes smoothly. Buck is asking so many questions, he just wants to know you inside and out. He seems to hang from your every word and eagerly answers all of your questions. He tells you all about Maddie and gushes about being an Uncle and about how much he loves Jee-Yun. He wants you to meet her so badly, he wants you to meet Maddie too 

“As just a friend thing!! Not like… a girlfriend thing” He blushes and takes a bite of his steak “I want you to have more friends! And Maddie is the best friend you could have! And you know maybe I’m a little biased but she’s really amazing”

“I’d love to meet her, and Jee-Yun!!” You say eagerly. You’re almost as excited as he is about the whole thing and it makes you kind of giddy about things with him. 

Buck pays and you fight him to leave the tip at least, literally fighting him off to leave the money on the table. 

He takes your hand as you two walk out, swinging them playfully 

“The night is still young, do you wanna do something else?” 

“Yeah, sure! Whaddya have in mind?” You ask as he pulls you along, towards his jeep. He’s walking backward, just staring at you with a cute smile on his face. He loves to look at you, to experience you. 

“Well… maybe we can head back to my place?” He opens the door for you and helps you in and you give him a skeptical look, he chuckles and shuts the door, walking around the jeep to get in on his side 

“It’s not like that! I swear! I’m just trying to beat this one level of Super Mario Odyssey and I really need a Cappy… Will you be my player two?” 

Buck comes down the stairs with an old t-shirt that he….may or may not have sprayed cologne on. He’s changed into a pair of sweats and a cropped T-shirt

“There’s a bathroom over there” he points while handing you the shirt and you look at him, your eyes widening at his bare torso…

“Are you sure you don’t want anything more?” 

“Yeah, I’m sure! It’ll be long enough don’t worry” You scamper off to the bathroom and Buck whips out his phone, speed dialing Eddie 

“What?” Eddie answers, putting him on speaker 

“Did you clean my house??” Buck gets busy setting up the switch, grabbing the extra Joycons for you… he may have gone out and bought the special princess peach pink just for you

“Maybe…” Eddie shrugs “I just sort of…guessed? it would end in you taking her home and I wanted to make sure everything was good” 

“Eddieee” Buck whines, fake sniffling and Eddie chuckles “Thanks man, I saw you uh changed my bedding” 

“I doubt it’ll go that far,” He says, and Buck can hear him washing dishes “But if it did, I just thought it would be nice”

“You think she’d ever wanna go that far with me?” Buck asks quietly, looking at the bathroom “And I mean in the future… not you know our first date” 

“You don’t want to score on the first date?” Eddie asks, he sounds like he doesn’t believe it 

“No…for once I don’t. I mean I want to tease the hell out of her, I love watching her blush… but no I want to take my time with her”

“That’s really romantic Buck” 

“I love you too Eddie” Buck grins widely as they both laugh, Buck hears Eddie close the cabinet door and sigh 

“I’m still gonna ask her to be my girlfriend though haha” 

“There’s the Buck I know”

Buck hangs up, promising to call Eddie back as soon as he drops you off at home. He sits on the couch, waiting patiently for you to come out. He starts up the game, nervously chewing his lip, you were taking a bit… should he come check on you?

“Oh…wow” 

He stares at you as you walk towards him, you had said you were gonna keep the tights on but you didn’t. He’s drooling, he knows he is as he watches you fold your clothes nicely and put them in the corner of the couch. You stand in front of him, your hands on your hips

“T-tights?” His voice squeaks out the word, Sabrina was right again. He’s definitely talking nonsense 

“Oh I figured I’d get too hot in them, it’s still long enough though” You look down at the shirt, pulling at the hem of it

“Are you cool with this? I can totally put them on anyway”

He could scoop you up and run you upstairs so easily, he knows it. He could pull you down and take you right there

“Uh-huh,” he says rather dumbly and you bite your lip, looking away from him and then back, just like he does to you 

“You okay?” You ask, stepping forward between his legs and he leans back slowly onto the couch 

“Uh-huh” 

“You ready to play?” You nod at the joycon's on the table and pick them up, sitting next to him on the couch and propping your feet up on the table like he did 

Oh, your toes match your nails. That’s cute, that’s really cute.

You lean back against the couch, putting your head on his shoulder 

“I can wait” 

It takes a minute, but he finally snaps out of it, his cheeks flushing deeply as he shakes his head

“I’m good, sorry. You- you’re just… you’re really pretty”

“I’m just wearing a plain t-shirt Buck” You laugh lightly and he groans 

“Yeah, I know! That’s the embarrassing part” 

“It’s okay. I think you’re really pretty in that shirt too”

You may be on a team together but that doesn’t mean Buck isn’t going to shove you off a cliff just to laugh about it after the fourth time you start to fight him 

“I can’t stand you,” You say, laughing as you push him over and he pushes you back.

“Then sit on my face” 

Your heart stops completely when he says that and you freeze up, your hands gripping the controller as your mouth drops open

He’s giggling a little as he looks at you 

“I’m a slut for a dirty joke”

“I can tell,” you say biting your lip 

“I can stop, if you want” He looks at you with a sincere smile, he pokes at your thigh playfully and you shake your head 

“No it’s okay, they’re funny…” 

“Good. But just let me know if you want me to stop…. You know since we’re on the topic, I want you to know I’d be happy being smothered by your thighs”

“Buck!” 

The two of you play together for a couple of hours, getting him past a lot of stuff he didn’t want to do alone, and he promises to not play without you. You yawn a little and settle back into the couch, you look cute when you’re sleepy, he thinks. He pulls you into his arms for a moment, rubbing your back. You nuzzle into him and pull your legs up into his lap and he smiles, kissing your nose. 

“Can we talk?” He asks softly, and you look up at him, a little smile on your face 

“Yeah sure, what’s on your mind?”

“Trust me when I say, I know that… that it’s so soon” He whispers as he pushes you gently back onto the couch, you let him, opening your legs for him to lay on you. 

“But… will you be my girlfriend?” He asks sweetly, his heart clearly on his sleeve. His eyes are so wide and hopeful. Your heart pounds in your chest as you look at him, those pretty blue eyes shining just for you. He lays his head on your chest and your cheeks flush. Of course, he’s a cuddle monster, he’s a little hesitant before he turns his head, placing soft kisses along your breast before putting his head back down. Oh, he’s definitely trying to butter you up and it’s working. 

“Four dates” You card your fingers through his hair, enjoying the way he melts into your hands and chest. He nuzzles his head into you more and you giggle, hugging him to your chest “Four more dates and then I’m all yours. We gotta get to know each other you big baby” 

“Deal,” He says excitedly, leaning down to kiss you, his body settles between your legs, he’s heavy and warm and you can feel those little butterflies flutter underneath him. He takes his time with you, enjoying the way your lips feel against his. You blush as you feel his hips push down into yours slightly, your thighs tighten on the sides of his waist and he grins 

“You good?” He asks. 

He’s such a little shit too with that cutesy little smirk like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing to you, what's currently happening to him, what you can feel between your legs. 

“Yeah I’m good” you mutter shifting your hips a little nervously, you feel his cock twitch against your panties and you squeak. He chuckles into your neck and props himself up on his arms, looking down at you 

“Are you ready to go home?” He’s biting his lip so playfully, appreciating the way you’re squirming nervously underneath him 

“Uh huh…I should go change” He falls to your side, letting you sit up for a minute 

“You could just go home in that, like seeing you in my clothes” He kisses your shoulders where the shirt has slipped down 

“Yeah I can go home and walk through the front door in just your t-shirt,” you tell him sarcastically, leaning into his chest. He nuzzles your neck, nipping at it “Bobby would love that” 

“Sorry I can’t understand your accent” He bats his eyes sweetly and you elbow him in the stomach before getting up 

“Take it home with you, please? You can use it as a sleep shirt or something”

“That I can do,” you tell him, grabbing your clothes from the corner of the couch 

“Anddd maybe you can send me pictures in it sometime… if you want!” He looks down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs 

“Buck, did you just ask me to send pics??” You scoff as you walk towards the bathroom, biting back a little smile.  He sighs behind you, shamelessly watching your ass as you walk. Those hips he just can’t get enough of 

“Maybe. But you know, in a classy kinda way” 

Buck pulls up to the same spot he picked you up at, he takes your hand, kissing the back of it 

“Can I walk you home?” 

“If you don’t mind parking here, you’ll have to leave me a couple of houses down”

“That’s not a problem”

He gets out of the car, comes around, and opens the door for you. 

“Who knew you were such a gentleman?” you tease as he puts his arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his chest. You put your arms around him as you two slowly walk back to Athena’s 

“I uh…. I have an extra key to my apartment” He says, toying with the keys in his pocket “And I know like…. It’s probably not easy sharing a room with May” 

“Okaaay…?” Where the heck was he going with this? 

“I’m just, I’ll send you my work schedule…I have to anyway, you know in order to plan four more sweet dates” he chuckles nervously and you look up at him 

“I’m just… offering you a place to hang out if you ever need space okay? It can’t be easy having the share a room, like you’re both adults with your own lives” 

“Buck you don’t have to do that,” You tell him, hanging onto the front of his shirt “I don’t want to impose” 

“I swear it’s not a problem! I want to do this for you… I mean me and Eddie have keys to each other’s houses! This is just like a cool friend helping a friend, okay?” 

You stop two houses down from Athena’s and he reluctantly lets you go. He takes the keys from his pocket and takes it off the ring, handing it to you

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to…. I just want you to feel like you’ve got a place to go, okay?”

You stand on your toes and he smirks, bending down to your height and tilting your chin up towards him. He kisses you, letting his tongue slide over your teeth before dipping into your mouth, you moan quietly against his lips and his arms snake around your waist. He pulls you up a little taller, your toes just barely touching the ground, 

He’s strong and he wants you to know that. 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?” He pulls away slowly, that little dazed look in your eyes turning him on. He wonders what else would give you that same look 

“O-okay” 

He sets you back down and pats your butt, giving it a little pinch

“Go on, go home”

You squeak and put your hands over your ass, turning around and glaring at him 

“Goodnight, Buck”

“Goodnight, Doll” 

[disappointmentthemusical]

Eddie was taking his break up with Ana hard.

On one hand, Buck got it. Like, Ana was nice, and she was objectively hot, and she was also the personification of that one Ryan Gosling meme about his sweater being boyfriend material, except her sweater was wife material. She was the definition of perfect.

So Buck understood why Eddie was upset. He saw it as a personal failure – to himself, to Chris, to his parents and society at large – that he managed to fuck up another relationship. This wasn't accurate, of course. Eddie was, like, the best guy ever, and, sure, maybe his relationship with Shannon hadn't been the greatest, but he'd evolved from that place. Fuck what his parents thought. Eddie deserved to be happy.

And Ana didn't make him happy.

That right there was enough, in Buck's mind, to disqualify her entirely. Who cared if she was gone? She didn't make the meals Chris and Eddie liked; she wasn't adventurous, not enough for Eddie (and most certainly not for Chris who would be damned if he didn't at least get to try skateboarding or surfing or rock climbing); she wasn't willing to risk everything – her life, career, status – to make sure the Diaz boys were happy. She wasn't Buck.

And that was the crux of the issue wasn't it?

God, he was such a shitty friend, wasn't he? That as they sat on the couch while Eddie cried into his shoulder, it was all Buck could do not to laugh with relief. Because Ana was gone, and he was still there. He was still there, and he got to hold Eddie as he cried with the knowledge that he would get over this, one day, and Buck would be there the whole way through. He'd be there for the ups and downs and all the vulnerable bits that Eddie showed no one, except for Buck.

"All I want," Eddie said thickly, his voice catching on a shuddering breath, "is a wife; someone to lean on and take care of. Is that so much to ask?"

A wife, a partner, an equal. Buck's heard it again and again, and every time it hurts like a physical blow. Because what's a wife that Buck isn't for Eddie?

They're quite literally partners at work, he cooks meals for Chris and Eddie at least twice a week, and when he's at the house, he cleans and does laundry and helps Chris with his homework. For fuck's sake, the amount of times Chris has slipped up and called him "dad." (And every time, Buck has to take a deep breath to prevent himself from bursting into tears because come on.) He loves the Diaz boys with every inch of his being, and Eddie knows he does. It's, like, a regular topic of conversation among the 118, how Buck should give up on his apartment 'cause he hardly sleeps there anyway in favor of Eddie's shitty fucking couch. Buck could be a good wife to Eddie.

He is a good wife.

But Eddie will never see it, and that knowledge – the knowledge that Eddie is straight and doesn't feel that way about Buck – twists up something mean deep in his chest and weighs like a ton of bricks. He can't breath for how much it fucking hurts. And he can't say anything about it 'cause he can't – won't – risk losing the little that he has.

So this is good enough. This, with Eddie sad, exhausted and half-drunk off top-shelf whiskey that Buck'd been saving, is enough, and Buck will have to be content to love Eddie quietly at his side.

Theirs could have been a could life, he knows. Eddie just never will.

[friendly-jester]

honestly considering how last episode went i feel like it could be possible that one of the two of them realize their feelings in the finale and that becomes a major storyline for next season. like all season buck has been talking nonstop about eddie and his entire sexuality arc and the buck x tommy stuff has been basically haunted by eddie. i thought i was losing it or something fr because i went back and rewatched and literally EVERY. SCENE. BUCK AND TOMMY HAVE EDDIE IS EITHER THERE OR MENTIONED. THEIR FIRST KISS SCENE I COUNTED THAT BUCK SAYS EDDIES NAME EIGHT FUCKING TIMES. tommy even said “my attention?” like he was shocked and thought it was about eddie 😭 and maddie saying “you seem confused and if you have anything you need to tell eddie you will when you’re ready” felt SO pointed too. idk if they’ll do a full blown triangle with them but i do think a potential breakup with buck and tommy will be about eddie tbh. they made such a point to put eddie in the narrative when they really didn’t have to. im trying so hard not to get my hopes up but when the dots make a clear picture you cant help but connect them

also this sounds so crazy but the shannon clone has a birthmark in her hair. the white stripe? its the most noticeable in the boat scene but once i saw it i was like 😀 hey why did they do that. one of my friends back in high school had one. and then making buck meet her……. and then EDDIE only comes clean once BUCK lightly asks him about it and says hes worried……….. i feel like im that one meme from its ways sunny in philedelphia

also im fully convinced bobby isnt retiring and he’ll be fine and have some sort of wakeup call idc im in denial

also holy fuck @ the hen and karen storyline??????? when will the writers let them keep their foster kids its been years let them be happy and have their family 😭

anyway sorry for the essay in ur inbox i have so many thoughts about this show and idk where to put them. my friends are probably so sick of me because i cannot shut up about it -ebd anon

i would actually lose my mind if it happened in the finale asdfghjkl. i'm also trying not to get my hopes up (i've been burned so many times 😭) but i could totally see buck telling tommy about the whole doppelgänger wife thing and talking about how concerned he is for eddie and tommy being the one to realize "this doesn't sound platonic" and points it out to buck. tommy's whole role has been for buck to discover things about himself and i would love if tommy helped him realize he has feelings for eddie. i honestly think buck and tommy are really cute together but they just don't have the chemistry buck and eddie have and i just think it would be neat if tommy's the first one (besides maddie lbr) to notice it and bow out gracefully. that's just the kind of guy he is 🥺

WAIT i didn't realize it was a birthmark i thought it was just a gray streak but!!!! that FEELS SO INTENTIONAL *screams*

i am also in denial we can be in denial together 🤝 if he does retire there's no way he'd be gone from the show. not just because he's athena's husband but because he's dad!!! he's got too important of a role to leave!!!

FOR REAL JUST LET MY GIRLS BE A HAPPY FAMILY!!!!! they have to get mara back. that whole scene made me want to cry. she finally got a family and they finally got a daughter and denny finally got a sibling LET THEM BE HAPPY 😭😭

feel free to drop by and ramble anytime! my only other friend who watches 911 isn't caught up so i have no one else to talk about it with besides my mom who is not in as deep as i am lmaooo

[hellfiremunsonn]

you look so pretty i didn't even notice the size difference for a second. Like, mine aren't that noticeable, but I guess cause my nips don't line up on a horizontal line it has to be mentioned?

Yeah, I was pretty sure these men weren't shit but also...like it felt good to be flirted with? To be seen as desirable? I have never really been in a "relationship" always the let's not label it or the "oh im talking to a guy who showed interest in me and- oh he's married well im blocking you now" (which the married thing has happened more than once, making me feel bad. Like, if they were in an open marriage or poly or whatever, I wouldn't care. But its like im like "isnt that...your wife?" And they get upset i find out like obviously you don't want her to know).

I know my friend didn't mean anything by her comment, so I'm not really mad at her. I think its moreso the guy who said it was a handful (I am a b, maybe c cup depending on the bra (usually its the band) but I think that because I have broad shoulders and a big rib cage, I am big boned i guess cause I am tall, they expect more??)

It just really fucked me up cause I was sitting here and I thought okay he was a piece of shit, and so I started scrolling through Tumblr and reading fanfiction because why not escape reality for a second, and it ended up being smut and I was like ah....my body doesnt...do that normally. And then it made me spiral thinking about every fic I've read (for example, Steve or Eddie) and how its all similar, and then I was like shit maybe I am weird? Like I get i shouldn't let fictional stuff bother me, cause it is fictional, but then I am like hm the men irl suck so why wouldn't it translate (I am not making it make sense like the characters would be fine I think but its like the fics all have similar anatomy i dont have making it seem as though it is normal, and the guys irl suck so they probably also expect that idk im gonna stop this sentence now).

I think the thing that truly bothers me is the fact that, if I am getting close enough to you to feel comfortable topless, because typically I am not, then that means I'm vulnerable and you really just basically stab me. You basically get me in a vulnerable state and go straight for the jugular

Ohgod, yeah I used to never take my top off or my bra off cause I was like nOPE YOU CAN'T SEE MY BOOBS!!!!!

Now I don't care as much because I've thankfully had more positive reactions?

And with fan fic, I try to write sex for reader how I enjoy sex? Which too be fair isn't much because I haven't had a lot of GOOD sex. I've had good moments in sex but never the whole thing. So I don't include a lot of nipple play or stimulation, because I personally don't get much pleasure from it, but I know my partners have so I let them do their thing, thus briefly adding it into fics just cause a mouth on a tit is a common occurrence for the most part.

I also always make sure to get reader to cum from clit stimulation because most vagina havers cannot cum from penetration alone. And I also add it hurting at first, because for me OFTEN times it's really uncomfortable at first, and sometimes it has felt like I'm losing my virginity all over again.

ANOTHER THING. This helps me when reading fics, but (Y/N) isn't me but she is me... Like she's a version of myself I have created to fit these fics, but it's not me me, she's her own character but she is MINE. if that makes sense? Like I have no interest in anal or anal play, but like (Y/N) ??? she'll do anything, and I love her for that.

ALSO, My titties literally get stuck in my armpits when I lay down and I have to pull them out before I get comfy. They be doing what they want I swear.

MEN ARE SHIT

But also voicing your insecurities, and just laying them out on the table sometimes helps! It's something I started to do unconsciously, but I would basically point out these things before someone else could do it, and do it maliciously. Like if I did my eyelashes wonky, I'd point it out right away, or maybe if my ass looked extra flat, or my hair was greasy. Because all our lumps and bumps and ridges, and dips, hairy, smooth, discoloured bits are all part of us, and make us each our own person.

idk where I was really going with this again, I kinda just started typing. But I hope you at least find the tiniest bit of comfort from talking it out with me.

[hmslusitania]

I know a lot of us think that Hen, Chim, and Bobby (or some combination) know and are waiting for Buck and Eddie to figure it out. But what if they don't because they've just been there the whole time for this and so Buck and Eddie have always been buckandeddie to them. So then Ravi comes in and is like "what's up with these two?" and everyone else is just like "what do you mean?" and he gives example after example and they say "oh that's just buckandeddie means nothing" and Ravi is just like???

There's definitely a text post like that going around somewhere and I for one find it hilarious as a concept.

Ravi just -- okay, so he starts as the B shift probie, gets scolded for using the dreaded q word by the one hot guy on A shift who may or may not be Cap's son (???), and then manages to avoid A shift for a while, until there's the city wide treasure hunt, right, and he thinks he's having fun with this, until Hot A Shift Guy and his partner, Even Hotter A Shift Guy, gang up on him in the locker room to pick his brain for information and there's something in the way they exchange looks that's very -- well, it's just really something, right? And then the next time he sees them, they've shown up together at the final treasure location because they...live together???

And then, Even Hotter A Shift Guy gets shot, and so Ravi gets bumped up to A shift to cover for him, except how the fuck is he supposed to cover Hot A Shift Guy's back -- not Cap's son, at least not technically, as it turns out -- when he's so torn up by grief at the loss of his partner and while he has to go home alone to take care of their son that he's throwing himself into really stupid danger all the time?

Anyway, Ravi avoids taking shift trades to A shift as soon as Even Hotter A Shift Guy gets back, because all of that nonsense is deeply chaotic and he just wants to get through his probational term in one piece, right?

But he stupidly covers for McKinney one night, because she was like "oh it's just a half shift so that I can go to the opera with my parents who are visiting from out of town!" and he's a probie so he's doing what he can to get all the hours under his belt possible and, y'know, time and a half doesn't hurt, and so he's with A shift when all the GPS systems start telling people to literally drive their cars into the canal??? He still doesn't know how Buck and Eddie work together like this when they're married and have a son, like, wouldn't they be constantly worried about this?

And then the blackout hits.

He learns on day one of the blackout that Buck and Eddie actually are not married to each other, that Buck is dating some reporter or something, that Eddie has a serious relationship, but like? They're still Buck and Eddie, except Eddie's avoiding Buck for some reason while they're all locked into the station and so Ravi ends up being assigned as Buck's assistant and Buck is a little power mad with the clipboard and okay like it's not awakening anything because like he knows where he stands on that particular scale but it isn't helping and RIP to Eddie who's avoiding Buck but if Buck had that clipboard and asked Ravi to tell him anything or do anything Ravi would do it, RIP but he's different, whatever it's fine, he's not going to because apparently Buck and Eddie both have girlfriends but that's also super confusing because they're clearly married to each other or --

He figures out they must be divorced about halfway through the blackout when Eddie's not wife who he doesn't introduce shows up with Eddie and Buck's kid and yeah, Ravi gets it, that must be super awkward because like. New girlfriend, ex-husband, kid clearly very attached to both his dads.

He asks Hen about it the next time he pulls a day with the A shift, if things have been awkward on the shift since Buck and Eddie got divorced and started dating other people. He's not expecting the blank, "Since they what?"

He does his best to elaborate, pointing out that the way they clearly still care about each other -- and now Eddie's broken up with his girlfriend again so like maybe Buck and Eddie are just separated? Maybe there's still a chance they can salvage their marriage? -- and the longer he talks, the wider Hen's eyes get. Because it's that metaphor about frogs in boiling water, right, Hen and Chim and Bobby have been sitting in the pan while the water heats up around them, not noticing until it's too late that the water is boiling now, but Ravi's new and he'd just jumped in when it was already scalding, and also, yeah, Buck and Eddie are extremely in love and Hen's kicking herself for not seeing it sooner.

The real question, of course, is if Buck and Eddie know, and well. Boiling water slowly heating around them etc.

[bowiebond]

Do you ever think about the idea of Jason being so repressed and in denial about liking men the he marries a girl, has 2.5 kids and is firmly convinced he's straight until years later he's divorced and one of his kids comes out and Jason tries to tell him "oh don't worry its normal to have fantasies of men but that doesn't mean you're gay" and then his kids are like 😮 and the other son says "dad I've literally never had an attraction to men, thats not a straight thing" but Jason still doesn't fully believe it. He wants to at least try to be supportive of his kid but he has a lot to unlearn so he goes to a pflag meeting and that's where he crosses paths with Eddie again and has his sexual awakening as an adult in the late 00's/early 2010. Like so much angst of all the years he was repressing everything but also the struggle to explore when you're in your late thirties/early forties and the gay club is filled with 20 somethings who have more experience than you, I mean he'd need someone like Eddie, someone with more experience in the local lgbt scene to help guide him

Wow, Anon, thanks for hurting my feelings 🥲

The worst part is Jason would refuse for a little while that his kid is gay until he realises he’s losing his son because of his own prejudice and decides to learn more. Goes to meetings and talks to other parents of gay kids, the gay kids and older queers who come to share their own experiences.

Then one day, it clicks and his entire life would probably fall apart honestly. He’d end up in a divorce with his wife, who’s only kind enough to allow him partial custody despite her scorn at being stuck in a loveless marriage for decades (he does love her, dearly, just not the way they had wanted. Maybe a few years down the road she’ll forgive him and they’ll realise they truly are platonic soulmates, but for now it hurts).

He’d move out, pays for anything his children and ex wife need still because he does love them dearly, but she can’t have him there while she mourns their relationship.

It’s probably after he moves out that his kids still to get a peak at who their dad really is, and Jason is a good dad when he starts to unpack all the toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia. He’s too scared to join the dating pool, but shortly after the divorce, he bumps into Eddie again at a meeting and it’s crazy to think Jason’s like him now. Kind of a freak. It’s daunting for Jason who’s confronted with the boy he used to scorn, who’s now…very much a man. Older. A tad scruffier. Still has long hair but tied back often, greys peaking through that he admits to dyeing with a chuckle.

It’s an awkward, tentative friendship on Jason’s side, but Eddie is happy to put the past behind them because he’s been in Jason’s shoes. That stage where you know but you’re scared of what that means, nervous to explore it. He sticks to Jason’s side like glue for months, teaching him little things that keep him closer to his kid, helps him understand, until eventually he invites Jason out to a gay club. Just to check out the scene, see if it’s for him.

A few younger gay guys approach Jason, because he’s older and standing next to Eddie who’s a frequent visitor (people love him because he can talk about anything for ages to make you comfortable or take you back to his place for crazy fun. The duality is a part of his charm). It’s apparent to Jason quickly that younger isn’t his type and he’s not really interested in being any twenty somethings ‘Daddy’ when he has his own kids at home who he cooks for most nights and helps with homework.

Mostly, he just feels out of place. It’s loud and the music isn’t his taste and it’s humid. He feels dressed down and awkward, sipping a scotch, and he just…doesn’t fit in. He’s too old for the scene and it strangely makes him want to cry because he would have enjoyed this when he was younger. Loud music and bumping and grinding. Liked it well enough at non-gay clubs with his friends.

He missed out on so much because he couldn’t accept himself, but he got a life with a good wife and three amazing children at least. He wishes he knew earlier, to save them all the heartache, but he could never regret his life when it gave him his kids who he adored.

Eddie takes Jason back home after that, and they drink cheap beer and watch TV instead and that’s good. Jason likes that. He’s older and he likes watching TV on his day off. Likes watching it with a cold beer and with Eddie’s arm pressed against his.

He falls asleep there and neither make a big deal out of it. It’s natural. They’re older, wearier, and falling asleep while watching TV is nice. Especially with each other.

Maybe they make a routine out of it. Jason goes to Eddie’s place when he doesn’t have the kids, goes there so often that his stuff starts to migrate their on accident until Eddie suggests Jason just move in, Eddie’s got more than enough space for the kids. Hell, Eddie likes Jason’s kids, they like him, the eldest thinks his music is amazing even if he retired from touring just two years prior. They’re still making music, but CDs are a hit and their knees need a break, so shows have become less necessary.

They aren’t even dating, they just share a place because it’s easier. They share a bed sometimes because Jason gets lonely and slept with a body beside him for almost two decades.

They’re friends. Teetering out of friends slowly with the way Jason looks at Eddie when he spills his coffee on his freshly washed white shirt, or with the way Eddie smiles when Jason snores against his shoulder after dozing off during a movie.

Either way, Jason’s not gonna be alone. He’s got Eddie to guide him through this new life, the complexities of it. He’ll teach him everything he wants to know about queer love, about pride and history, about sex that makes him feel complete rather than finished.

Eddie gets the kids and maybe even husband he never thought he wanted, and Jason gets the love he never knew he needed.

Jason’s in good hands, and Eddie’s pretty sure he’s in Jason’s too; and they feel strangely safe despite it all.

[kikyan]

I know it’s not on your list of fandoms, but would you consider writing some hcs for Eddie Gluskin (Outlast)? Both SFW and NSFW would be appreciated! Thank you so much!!!

Oh lord....this is gonna be intense. I had a LOT more to say but in all honesty, I think I am better off keeping my mouth shut for MANY reasons. Anyway here you go!! 

TW: NSFW THEMES MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! Mentions of blood, gore, murder, death, kinks(BDSM, spanking, breeding, humilation, piss kink (I MENTIONED IT DID NOT WRITE IT CUZ IT’S ON MY RULES I DON’T WRITE FOR THAT)) I think that’s it. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!! 

SFW

The yandere type that I see him as would be sadistic, manipulative, obsessive, over-protective, and possessive. Please I love him but not that much-

Obsessive. So, like we just gonna ignore this man chasing Waylon Park throughout his entire level for no reason? Nah, that man was OBSESSED and he would gladly be obsessed with you <3. He would instantly be hooked when you decide to seek refuge in his floor or accidently stumble into it. It's a cute moment and in all honesty, who knows when it began. Maybe you were a psychiatrist/psychologist, another government worker, maybe part of the experiment, or even another journalist interested in the asylum? Who knows, but when he sees you, he's attracted. He's obsessed. You can NOT tell me he would literally chase you around to get anything that you dropped or to try to bring you to his level. Whatever it is, he's hooked and he won't stop until he gets to see you or talk to you.

Overprotective and possessive. When he finally has his darling in his possession, he's not going to look away for a second. All over them. Won't let them out of their sight so escaping will be hard as can be. Literally throughout the game I was on the edge of my seat because I can not stand chase scenes. Jump scares? Child's play. Eerie music? Eh, whatever. Chase scenes? HELL NAH. Regarding the whole series, he would not only do what he can to keep you because while DELUSIONAL as he is, he understands that you probably do not want to be there. He understands that you want to leave and not be there with him, but that won't happen. You're better off wandering in his level than anyone else because you will die by their hands. He can protect you since no one wants to mess with the groom. You'll be safe from the filthy men who have impure thoughts of you. He'd ensure that he can accommodate you and your new living arrangements, but he can't do that much.

Manipulative and sadistic. Yeah, so you know a wife beater? That's Eddie. Like all jokes aside, he'd probably be the type to get off on that power dynamic of him being the man of the house and that you should obey. While he means well, he can have his moments where he wants to be the alpha. He wants to be the one in control, he isn't above manipulating you. Hate speech, guilt trip, any and all to make you upset and want to stay. It's the, "you're so this and this that no one could and would love you, but I do...". If that doesn't work or his darling is like, I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me. he would resort to beating and physically hurting you. Worst case scenario, you get your legs cut off or smth. Put that saw to use I guess, but yeah. He likes it when you fear him because you won't oppose him, but he still wants your love and affection. He's a very dangerous yandere and I rank him 10/10 because as much as I love him, there are some things I KNOW HE WOULD DO that aren't at all okay to ensure we stay with him. It's really scary because in the end, I don't see him opposed to killing you off. He has that, if I can't have you nobody can mentality and it's sad. Sad as much as scary he is. ALSO HE A WHOLE ASS MYSOGNISTIC SERIAL KILLER MY GUY LIKE??? I KNOW THIS MAN MEANS DANGER.

NSFW

Control so for sure some BDSM. That man for sure would love to dominate you in any way possible. Rope play and bindings. This is a mental hospital so you kinda have to work with something and in this case rope. He would tie his darling up and fuck their brains out. He also radiates big dick energy along with being an incel so...idk do what you will. Aside from that I firmly believe he wants to be called 'Daddy' and this kinda stems with the breeding kink that I JUST KNOW HE HAS. Aside from DOM/SUB, he would for sure be into the control aspect so spanking, punishment, and humiliation because you've been a bad 'bride' and he can't have that. Like this man goes FAR, there is no line he wouldn't cross with humiliation. Fucking you in complex poses and in front of a mirror, making you lick his dirty shoes because you're his bitch, literally any and all. Lowkey think he would have a p!ss kink because it's all about the humiliation babes. (I know that this is one thing I said I wouldn't write for since I'm not that knowledgeable about it, I won't write about it in detail, but I'll mention it here and there)

Breeding kink. That's a given. A misogynistic man sees humans as one thing and one thing only, breeding factories. It doesn't matter if you can or can't conceive, you'll be stuffed full of his cum and he will literally fuck you for hours to ensure that you're stuffed full enough. Don't spill a single drop because he'll fuck you even harder to the point he overstimulates you. He wants the perfect family so a child will be ideal but if not it's whatever, as long as he has his bride that's all that matters.

This man is not a good man at all yall.....did I fall out of love with this man when writing this? No probably not, but trust me, this man wouldn't dream of laying a hand on me because my Mexican ass was taught to NEVER take abuse from anyone, MUCH LESS A MAN. AN INCEL AT THAT.

[wolffnichols]

Okay but I am not over how Buck was so clearly framed as the "person who had to watch their love almost die right in front him but now has to take the full responsibility of taking care of their son and continue to work all while being a complete and emotional wreck".

Like when Buck had "the hardest job" - Chimney perfectly put it- and went to tell Christopher about Eddie and was trying to reign in his emotional turmoil, once he saw that Eddie had made it through surgery he just could not keep it in anymore. He completely broke down and CHRISTOPHER was the one to comfort BUCK before they both comfort each other. Which I always go absolutely feral about bc even though Buck wears his emotions on his sleeves we all know how he tends to put others first. We saw how he was trying to reign in his own grief so he could be there for Christopher. Because being there for Christopher was the most important thing in Buck's eyes, his own emotions be damned. An yet once that he saw that Eddie survived surgery and was going to be okay, he could not control it anymore.

And then we see him staying at the Diaz house and taking care of Christopher. However, Chris is the one who has to wake up Buck to school. That lil moment reminds me so much of a scene in Practical Magic where Sandra Bullock's character, Sally, is grieving the death of her husband and her daughter tries to wake her up to take her to school while Sally is numb just completely overtaken by her grief. We see Buck be the same way. And even though he does get up and takes care of Christopher and goes to work, we see how not okay he is. so much so that he wants get shot by the sniper as well

Which leads me the integral scene with Buck and Bobby. We all talk about the BLATANT parallels between Buddie and Bathena that this episode beautifully showed, but I gotta talk about it again. Right when Eddie had gotten shot, Bathena had the biggest fight of their marriage. But once they got their feelings out from the fight and was effected by the shooting, they had a honest conversation about what was bothering them. Which hugely consisted of Bobby talking about what it was like to witness what happened to Athena and how it effected him. Which brings me back to the scene with Bobby and Buck. When Bobby tells him that what happened to Eddie wasn't his fault, we get a DIRECT parallel with Buck saying "No but I was just the guy standing there who couldn't do anything about it" to which we get Bobby just staring at him in what seems to be a knowing look mixed shock and recognition. Because that was what he was literally what he was talking about with Athena. In the end of s3 with what happened to Athena and then in this season as well (especially this season) we see Bobby talk about and deal with witnessing HIS WIFE having a traumatic near death experience. Which was blatantly paralleled with Buck's trauma and grief with Eddie. (Two ppl having to witness the person they love most/their spouse almost die.)

But the parallels don't end there folks. No sir.

Not only do we get a hospital scene with both Bathena and Buddie but there are so many parallels in the Bathena hospital scene with Buddie. First we have the obvious of Athena sitting at Bobby side like Buck sat by Eddie's side as they both have emotional conversations. But whereas Buck mentions how he thought it'd been better he had been the one who had gotten shot instead of Eddie, Athena talks about saving Bobby.

Which I would like to point out the parallel of Buck helping Athena save Bobby and his knowing look when she said that it had to be her to save her husband. He understood that need and helped her be the one to save Bobby and not the actual firefighters (of course there's other reasons for Athena being the one like the guy having a gun but still).

But back to the hospital scenes parallels. In Bathena's hospital scene and the second one for Buddie (aka the Will™ scene), both relationships have a certain... shift if you will. Bathena's issues are fully solved and their relationship has grown even more for the better. And with Buddie the shift is also a growth in their relationship, just in a different way.

Because seeing how Eddie getting shot effected Buck and made him think so lowly of himself that he thought it'd be better if he was the one who got shot but also saw how Buck to continued to take care of Christopher despite of it, Eddie decides to finally tell Buck about the will. It's not only a shift of finally acknowledging the will after keeping it a secret for so long but a shift in how they're relationship is going to be for now. Sure, they already planned to always be in each other's lives but this seals it.

And what helps both relationships shift as all is what Athena and Eddie tell Bobby and Buck, respectively Athena tells Bobby that she couldn't let a little fire keep her from saving her partner. That right there is Athena reaffirming that Bobby is her partner, that she acknowledges the issues they had talked about previously about not acting like equal partners and reaffirms that they are fact partners. But then she also shows how much she loves Bobby. He's her partner in every way and she would (and did) walk through literal fire for him (which in LS we saw Judd use an example to show how much he would show Grace how much he loved her). Athena not only reminds Bobby how much she loves him, how she feels, but also tells him what he needed to hear that moment with what they were going through (especially with his lingering issues with what happened to Athena s3).

Now, with The Hospital Scene™ with Buddie, we get Eddie telling Buck about the will (which, given the fact that he kept it hidden for a year ass year indicates that it was a pretty big deal for Eddie to finally tell him) and Eddie does it because of what he also tells him. That Buck, Evan, in fact not expendable. That he knows Buck's perception of himself is that he's expendable, that Buck thought it'd be better if he was the one who got shot.

So how does that parallel the scene with Bathena? Well, Eddie shows Buck just how much he trusts him with Christopher (aka his heart and soul). They are partners already, but this just takes their partnership even further bc yeah, Eddie had already told Buck that 'there's no one else in this world I trust more with my son than you', but this both reaffirms that and takes it a step further. Because he made it legal that he'd rather Buck take care of his son more than his family. This reaffirms his trust in Buck, their partnership. Just like Athena reaffirmed hers and Bobby's partnership. Just like how she showed Bobby just how much she loved him by walking through literal fire for him, Eddie shows how much he loves and cares for Buck by entrusting Buck with the most precious thing in the world to him aka his son. And just like how Athena telling Bobby that is what he needed to hear, Eddie telling Buck about the will and showcasing the biggest insecurity that Buck was going through at the moment, that he's thinks that he's expendable but he's wrong.

Both Eddie and Athena saw how what happened to them effected their partners and they both have these things to help their partners with it (and themselves).

In conclusion, all of this shows the framing of Buck being the "grieving partner who had to deal with watching the love of their almost die". Because almost all of those Bathena parallels dealt with what Bobby had to deal with witnessing Athena almost die and how the aftereffects which directly paralleled with Buck was currently going through in that episode. And the of end episode (as well as Buck's season arc) getting a reaffirmation from his partner and consolation of how what happened to them effected him. Just how Athena did with Bobby.

Say it with me folks: Choices were made.

Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk.

[woodchoc-magnum]

Lone Star Hate Watch 3x04

Sorry for how late this is - I was just delaying the inevitability of having to watch it 😅

Disclaimer: I hate this show, you love it - that's great! Please don't read, keep scrolling, and have a wonderful day

Eddie Diaz, as always, to remind us that the OG exists and is superior in every single way:

I can’t believe I have to sit through another episode of this fucking snow storm

I am slightly mollified because Billy's here

I'm really gonna need Billy to get a redemption arc here

Or do I even want that? I kind of like that he's a little bit villainous

Oh TK's still in a coma and I already know he doesn't die so everything is terrible

Ronen still can't act

"oh wow" TK says in a monotone

"Am I dead?" TK asks in a monotone, but god I wish you were dead

Don't tell him to stop dying - what are you fucking doing? Just let him go

These nurses are… I'm sure this is a pretty accurate portrayal of what nurses are like and you have to be kind of dry and unfeeling, but like, maybe check to make sure you're alone before talking about how TK's definitely going to die

I mean obviously I want him to die, so I'm fine with this entire conversation

You could do better Carlos

Do you think when Rob Lowe gets there he'll remember he has a son or will they have to remind him?

Oh my god Owen's SHAVING HIS DEPRESSION BEARD

Wow what a poignant and moving scene

Judd your wife is currently having a baby in a car in the middle of the snow

Marjan missed everything and instead of just telling her what happened, the show subjects us to Mateo talking in circles

There's going to be a bit of TK-and-Carlos rant in this whole thing so get ready

"I'm holding vigil for a man who doesn't even want me in his life" – Carlos. You could do better. Why are you settling for this piece of shit??

Nancy – "TK loves you." Does he? Really? Is TK capable of human emotions? Because I don't think so

I know people like Nancy but I'm going to be honest and say that I don't, and I find her character entirely forgettable and if she suddenly disappeared from the show I would just simply move on with my life and forget she had ever existed

Also she's a terrible friend. Does Carlos have any other friends? Who could be like, "Hey, you're a total catch, you don't need TK fucking you over like this?" Apparently not

I hate this relationship so much because Carlos deserves better

If I keep eye rolling my eyes are going to gain momentum and never stop

"If he loves me so much, then why did he break my heart?" BECAUSE HE SUCKS

HE FUCKING SUCKS

HE'S THE WORST

AND NO ONE CAN SEE IT

I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS

Is Tommy going to accept some responsibility for the fact that TK is dying in hospital? They literally didn't do anything to help him is all I'm saying

Oh Owen remembers he has a son, that's amazing

I hate this show

I'm ONLY NINE MINUTES IN YOU GUYS FUCKKKKKKKKKK

Owen sucks, everyone sucks, I hope everyone except Carlos, Judd and Grace die

"my boy to wake up" oh you remember you have a kid? But only when he's dying, right

I mean I love Grace but like I could do without the constant praying

Let me guess, are Carlos and his mom going to do some praying now? Because I can think of one thing we need and that's more praying

Oh Carlos you deserve so much better than TK (Please note - I realise I've said this multiple times through this but it bears repeating)

At least Carlos' mom is on his side because NO ONE ELSE IS

He needs a sassy best friend

Billy's my favourite character and I don't care what anyone says

I'm only fifteen minutes in, I'm going to eat some chocolate

They should not have dragged this shit out for four episodes

"there's something you could've done differently" – yeah like I don't know, trying to warm TK up after he nearly froze to death? Just my two cents

If Billy goes through all this shit and no one fucking thanks him, I'm going to scream

Is he perfect? No. But he's trying

My desktop background is a slideshow of pictures of Buck and Eddie and when I get bored with the show I just watch that for a little pick-me-up

So I'm watching my desktop background a lot, is what I'm saying

Billy's a big DAMN HERO

OH MY GOD BILLY NOOOO HE FAINTED

Judd's figured out that Grace is missing and this is the only thing I care about, but of course we flick right back to TK

Can he just die already?

Cannot BELIEVE TK broke up with Carlos

Carlos deserves so much better than this, I know I keep repeating that but I don't know how anyone can look at this relationship like it's a good thing for anyone but TK

Because at the end of the day this is all about TK, none of this is about Carlos

"Believe people when they tell you who they are" – YES CARLOS????!!! WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO YOUR OWN FUCKING ADVICE??????

HE'S SUCH A WHINY LITTLE FUCK I HATE HIM

Okay so let me get this straight. TK fell in love with an apartment, they couldn't rent but it had to buy it, and so as an act of love, Carlos bought him the apartment he fell in love with.

And this was an apartment they both liked – this wasn't Carlos picking a place for them to live, this was something they both loved

And TK breaks up with Carlos because of that.

Wow.

Who the fuck am I meant to feel sorry for here? Like, I am honestly asking how this show wants me to feel about this situation because all I feel is righteous indignation

"It's a total power move" TK says – THE FUCK? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU ASSHOLE? He bought you the place YOU LOVED!!! ARE YOU FOR REAL? YOU FUCKING AAAAAAHHRHRHRHRHRHHRRH

Pausing I need more sugar holy fuck I'm so mad at this FUCKING SHOW

Okay I'm back and trying to think about it in less of a "TK is a narcissistic monster" kind of a way and more in a "how a normal person should react to this" way

And like – they've been together for like, over a year officially on the show, right? Maybe closer to two years? And if you're in a relationship with someone for that long you should have already talked about where this is going and what you both want out of the relationship. Communication, I guess? It seems to be a key component to any happy relationship

So thinking about it like that, should Carlos have asked TK? I guess, maybe – but it was a place they'd looked at together, they both liked it, and so he could make the assumption that if he bought it for TK, that was a gesture for them as a couple, going forward in their relationship, and it shows a level of commitment and love that you think would be somewhat appreciated, right?

Right.

In conclusion, TK is the fucking worst and I hope he gets syphilis and his penis falls off.

I've never hated a character more and I just sat through ten episodes of Che Diaz on And Just Like That

Okay Billy's fine, he's all good, he just fainted, we're fine

I only have fifteen minutes left

Tommy's going to deliver the baby!!!

This is the only storyline I care about

JUDDDDD

God damn it these two fucking kill me

Oh great TK's awake

Way to ruin a perfectly lovely moment in the show

Oh my god Owen just collapsed to his knees in the snow?? What the actual fuck

That baby is six months old

You know, in a movie TK would've died as the baby was born? The circle of life kind of a thing

Really wish they'd done that

Is the OG this heavy-handed? No, right?

Carlos you deserve better than this pile of trash disguised as a human

Oh great they're moving in together

Wow that's love you guys

He deserves fucking none of this

Not a single fucking thing

I hope this house burns down too, with TK in it

"you're the world's biggest control freak" – well you're the world's biggest piece of shit

That baby is a fully grown, six month old baby. It's practically old enough to drive

Their GoFundMe to save the 126 just got fully funded, wow, a fucking miracle! Who didn't see that one coming???

I thought it was finished but no. The rich family saved the 126. How wonderful.

Nice of them to invite my hero Billy to the ceremony

Are Billy and Judd mending fences? I'm really going to need Billy Burke to stay on the show, because he really brightens my day

God I miss the OG so much

In conclusion, I hate this show more than anything. How long until the OG is back?? 😩

Eddie Diaz because WE FUCKING NEED IT RIGHT NOW:

Bonus Christopher! We've earned it, you guys. I'm going to eat some more chocolate.

GREAT JOB TEAM

[lovecolibri]

I am just...so tired of the takes that Owen is “the main character” and that people are unreasonable for expecting more balanced screen time (he’s not actually, it’s supposed to be an ensemble show), and especially the take that wanting to see more of Carlos is somehow the same thing as Owen being every scene.

Wanting less Owen centricity, and wanting to see more Carlos are not opposing thoughts that live in a vacuum. They are so often tied up in each other because Owen gets a scene that narratively makes no sense for him to be involved in, specifically BECAUSE it makes narrative sense for Carlos to be the one involved. Wanting Carlos in more scenes is not the same as Owen BEING in more scenes than anyone else, at times that he doesn’t need scenes, or doesn’t need to be in that scene. 

As much fun as I had with Red vs Blue, the fact that Carlos wasn’t playing or even involved in the storyline with the police is insanity. As someone else pointed out (in a post I cannot find, of course. Forgive me), people would be pissed if the OG had an episode like this and Athena was just...sitting on the sidelines, or if it was dispatch vs fire and Maddie for OG or Grace for LS weren’t involved and were just the “messenger” about a rivalry and played no part in the actual game. Carlos is THEE police character for Lone Star, AND he’s friends with everyone on the team, they have regular hangs and his place, and he’s dating TK! If they wanted to have a softball game involving fire and police, Carlos should be the “in” character, not some random officer we have never seen before! And even IF they wanted to have it start with that officer, it could have been Carlos that mentioned he played on the department softball team, and suggests the 126 join the AFD team/create an AFD team and get on the schedule. He should have been in the middle of the rivalry and we should have seen him and TK taking good-natured shots at each other, and enjoying being competitive, and maybe after the all-out brawl at the end we still could have seen Owen saving the other guy, but we should also have seen Carlos at that call, because if they are going to involve the police at the center of a storyline, Carlos is the one who should be the linchpin. Even when we saw him doing the entire investigation in 3x05, Owen was the one who actually caught the person?! Why?! We had to spend so much time on that date just for him to be there to stop the car when we didn’t need any of that!

Wanting to see more of a character or characters we SHOULD, at three season in, know so much more about is not the same as ALREADY knowing more than any of us wanted to about Owen’s sex and dating life while several main characters are so underdeveloped. With the OG, by season 3 we already “met” Bobby’s wife and kids, Hen’s wife, kid, and ex (unfortunately), Eddie’s ex wife, parents, aunt and abuela, Chim’s dad and the family he lived with after his mom’s death (and in season 3 his half brother), Maddie’s ex husband, Athena’s parents plus time on her ex husband, kids and their whole family dynamic, and we are given a pretty darn good reason for why the Buckley parents (hate hate hate, loathe entirely) don’t show up at all until season 4. But Lone Star? We meet Paul’s mom and sister, Tommy and Michelle’s families, and Grace’s parents, and Judd’s dad, but we know Judd has other siblings but know literally nothing about them, and we know basically nothing about Marjan’s family, or Matelo’s family. We don’t see much if anything of Paul outside work since his one date back in season 1, Mateo gets seen out of work only because he’s living with Owen and his scenes are about Owen, Marjan had the roller derby stuff but that’s it, like....I just want to know so much more about everyone BUT Owen at this point, and while it looks like we are going to be getting it, finally (Paul/Marjan centric storyline I am so excited!!), season 2 left a really sour taste in a lot of fans mouths with regards to Owen and how the other mains feel so underutilized because of the screentime imbalance. 

So no, wishing for Carlos to be “in every scene”, and wishing for less of Owen in every scene are not in fact saying opposite things, because the show up to this point has already been so oversaturated with Owen that getting more screen time for anyone else is always going to be a win. Also, Rafael has been delivering consistently stunning performances even when he as has very little time or lines to work with, and Tarlos are one of the main ships. Of course people want to see more of him! 

Anyway, rant over, stepping off my soapbox and all that. Let’s enjoy this episode and cross our fingers for more balance moving forward in this season.

[luv-eddiediaz]

Hi. Me again, with my obsession of cowboy Eddie and city Buck. 

I was driving around the country last night looking for some cool rocks to put in my yard (I live in town, but like 20 minutes from all the ranches and wide open spaces), and I had like a Buddie version of a Hallmark movie playing in my head the whole time. 

Imagine with me:

Buck has been living in NYC. He’s been working at some art gallery and dating Abby and living with her in her fancy loft while she sculpts, but something happens and she still needs to go find herself, so off she goes to abandon our boy, who, after a couple of months, and some conversations with his friends, realizes she isn’t going to come back, and he sets off to start over. 

He basically throws a dart at a map, and it lands on El Paso, and so that’s where he packs his bags to go. He gets a job at a local bar, and rents a room in the back. He doesn’t think El Paso is going to be for him, so he’s just going to work a few weeks until he can figure out where he wants to go and has some more money saved up to get there.

He notices that every other night, a dark haired man comes in and orders a whiskey, neat and two beers. He sits alone and doesn’t talk to anyone except the girl who works at the bar with Buck at night (I’ve named her Desiree). To Buck, he seems kind of sad. 

One night, Desiree is off, and it’s Just Buck. The guy comes in and Buck brings him his whiskey without him having to order. The man tips his hat, and Buck smiles, but they don’t say anything. When he’s finished his whiskey, Buck goes back to him with his draft of Budweiser, and again he tips his hat, and Buck smiles. They don’t talk until Buck brings him last beer. 

“It’s Buck, right?”

“Uh, yea, how did you know?”

“Desiree is my cousin. She’s mentioned you a few times. Doesn’t like you very much.”

Buck laughs, “I didn’t think she did.”

“It’s your shoes. They’re too shiny, and she says you smell too nice.”

“How does someone smell too nice?”

“Girls here are just different than where you come from.”

“Everyone here is different than where I come from.”

And the man laughs so quiet Buck isn’t even sure he’s laughing, and then he holds out his hand, “I’m Eddie.”

“Nice to meet you.” Buck meets his hand, and it’s softer than Buck would have thought given his dirt stained jeans, and his small drawl, and the cowboy hat he never seems to take off his head. 

So, now whenever Eddie comes in, Buck waits on him, and as the customers dwindle down, Buck ends up sitting in the corner booth with him, and they talk. About New York mostly, about Abby and art, Eddie’s son, and how Buck thinks he might do better in Austin if he was going to stay in Texas. 

“If you change your mind, and want to stay,” Eddie says one night, “I have a shed I converted to a guest house. I’d be more than happy to rent it out to you.”

Buck isn’t sure why, but the thought of Eddie wanting him to stay makes him feel good, and so he decides to take him up on the offer. He meets Eddie at his place one Sunday afternoon, which is this sprawling ranch, and a large, gray stucco house. Eddie shows him around the grounds.

“So, these are Greg and Elizabeth,” he says of two goats nosing at Buck’s shoes, “those are the three Rosies,” he points to three brown cows, “the chicken coop is in the back, but you’ll have to ask Christopher their names, because honestly, I don’t know. I think he keeps changing them.”

“All these animals are yours?”

“Uh, the goats and chickens, yes. One Rosie is a boarder, and the other two are ours until I find them somewhere else to go.” 

“Do you like rescue animals?”

“Sort of. I’m a large animal vet.”

“How did you not tell me this?”

Eddie shrugs and smiles this little half smile Buck has come to adore, “I don’t like talking about myself. And you love talking about yourself.”

“Do not.”

“You really do.”

Then Eddie shows him the shed/house, and Buck decides he’s going to stay there. Eddie also asks if during the day Buck wants to help out answering phones and stuff in the clinic.

Hilarity would ensue with Buck in his fancy sweaters and nice shoes trying to help wrangle the goats and the cows. Sweetness comes when he’s out feeding the chickens with Christopher, and eating sandwiches with him at the reception desk of the vet clinic. 

At some point, he starts wearing flannel shirts, and faded denim. Eddie even buys him his own cowboy hat the day he takes him out horseback riding. 

That same day, they sit by a creek, underneath a tree while their horses graze, and have a more serious conversation. Eddie opens up about his wife’s recent death, but how they had been on the rocks for a while, and Eddie thought maybe they were going to work things out, but she said she didn’t want to and then she had an accident in town. 

Buck doesn’t think he’s crazy when Eddie puts Buck’s hat back on his head and he feels this electricity as they stare at each other, close enough to smell what the other had for breakfast on their breath. He thinks maybe Eddie is going to kiss him, but he doesn’t. And it leaves him disappointed. 

So, of course. with the two of them on this precipice of something, Abby comes back! 

She finds out where Buck is, and goes down to Texas. It’s a Saturday night, and Buck is working at the bar, and it’s a little bit busy, but Christopher is staying the weekend with his aunt and cousins, and Eddie is down there, and between serving Buck lets Eddie try and teach him to line dance, and they shoot a round of pool that lasts forever because Buck keeps having to go work, but it doesn’t matter, because he is having the best time, and he’s seeing Eddie laugh with his whole face, and he knows, he just knows he is falling in love with this man, and only hopes he’s falling in love back. 

They are literally just about to kiss in a dark corner when Buck sees Abby in the middle of the bar, and says her name. He doesn’t forget Eddie is there, but he kinds forgets Eddie is there and walks over to her, gives her a hug.

“What are you doing here?”

“I missed you too.”

“Can we talk?” she asks, “are you busy?”

“I’m working, but I can take a minute; here.” He leads her to a small booth and slides in across from her.

“Look,” she starts, “I’m not sorry I left, because I had to. I was feeling suffocated.”

“By me?”

“No, well, yes, but not you. Just my life, and you happened to be a part of that. I needed to get lost to find myself again.”

“And did you?”

“Yes.”

“It’s been five months, Abby. I left us. I left New York; I started over.”

“I see that. Kind of a weird choice.”

“I like it.”

Because he likes Eddie. 

Shit. Eddie. Buck looks around the bar and sees that he’s gone, and he doesn’t blame him for bailing. He looks back at Abby; at the beautiful curve of her face, her bright green eyes that still pop through the lenses of her glasses. He remembers what it felt like to kiss her lips, and feel her hands through his hair. He never loved anyone the way he loved Abby - she was the first real thing in his life, but he knows now, that Abby never loved him the way he deserved.

“Buck?”

“Thank you for coming here to explain yourself.”

“I was kind of hoping I could talk you into coming to New York with me.”

“Nah, I’m good here. I’ve got all these flannel shirts now, and the concrete would just kill these boots.”

Abby laughs, “not to mention the cowboy.”

“What cowboy?”

“The one that’s been staring at us like he’s ready to pull my hair.”

Buck looks to where Abby is nodding and he wonders how the hell he missed Eddie sitting there.

“Yea, and the cowboy.”

She smiles and kisses Buck on the cheek as she gets up to leave. Buck waits a few seconds until she’s walked out the door and saunters over to Eddie with a woeful look on his face. He sits on the barstool next to him 

“I’m sorry about that,” he says.

“Oh, you’re sorry for dropping me like a dirty rag as soon as you saw your ex-girlfriend? Or is she still your girlfriend?”

“No. She’s my ex. There’s uh, there’s someone else I’m kind of interested in.”

“Anyone I know? It’s a small town after all.”

“I think you may be familiar with him.”

“Him? That could be a dangerous thing here.”

“I like a little bit of danger.”

Eddie smiles, “what time do you get off?”

“About another hour.”

“Hmmm, I’ll come back and pick you up.”

Eddie tips his hat and leaves the bar, and Buck thinks the last hour of his shift drags on forever, but finally he’s cashed out and collected his tips and he goes outside to find Eddie sitting in his truck. Buck gets in, and they drive out past the town lights, past his ranch, almost right up to the border to Mexico, and park. 

Buck feels like he’s in a country song as the radio hums in the background and Eddie leans over the console to touch his fingertips to Buck’s chin and pull him towards himself to give him a soft, slow kiss. 

It’s the best kiss Buck has ever had, and he can’t help but smile the entire time. It’s the beginning of what Buck knows is going to be the rest of his life. 

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

[cc-tinslebee]

I'm back on my Cobra Kai/Kickin It bullshit, but imagine how interesting a crossover AU between the two would be. (For all intents and purposes, I'm imagining this as the Cobra Kai kids have travelled to Seaford for a karate tournament or something.)

Here me out:

Daniel and Johnny simaltenously respect and detest Rudy. Daniel is like, "inner peace!! yeah!! :D" and respects how much he cares for his kids, but Does Not like how self-centred Rudy can be. Alternatively, Johnny can totally get behind all the movie memorabilia, but is probably like "but he's a nerd :/"

ALSO, imagine the hilarity that would ensue with Phil. Daniel is CONVINCED that Anoush is playing a prank on him, because come on, Phil’s accent and disposition are just... A Lot. I can see the two dojos crossing pathes BECAUSE of this confusion, because you know Rudy would be immeditaely on it like, "hey, that's my emotional support falafel man >:("

KIM AND SAM SOLIDARITY. They're both dating their respective dojo's champions (who, let's be honest, are both dorks) and they have to put up with these stupid boys. They both deserve to talk to another like-minded, experienced karate girl.

I just want Miguel and Jerry to accidentally discover that they both speak Spanish and jestingly talking shit about people in it--

Double fight between Kim/Jack (or Milton/Jerry) and Eli/Demetri,,, We've seen both pairs fighting together as a unit in fights and I think it'd be curious to see who'd win.

Jerry thinks Eli's mohawk is SUPER cool (and possibly is just in AWE if/when Eli calls him "the cool one.") Cool dorks admiring each other for the win.

In addition to that, Demetri and Milton vibe with each other really well. "UGH, it's EXHAUSTING being the only ones with any braincells." (Chris, the person who actually has the group's braincells: 👁👁)

Cobra Kai's also there and they try to recruit the Black Dragons, but they just end up full out brawling each other. Robby got separated from the group sometime before and when he finds out about that he's like, "not aGAIN, GUYS." (Let's be real, Robby's babysitting all of them.)

Eli and a few other people decide to interfere so the Bobby Wasabi dojo doesn't have to go through what they did, and Demetri just acts like the wife of someone going off to war. They're all sappy and he makes Eli assure him that he won't get hurt.

(They smooch and both Milton and Jerry are just like, "that's a thing you can do??" because Disney Channel Heteronormativity.)

Eddie and Aisha are actually there, because I said so. Bonus points if they and Chris just band together being the sweet and loyal kids they are.

Aisha: I’ve only known Eddie and Chris for a day, and if anything happened to them, I would kill everyone at this tournament :)

I haven’t talked about Jack at all, I’ve realised- I think he’d probably vibe fairly well with Miguel, to be honest. Like, they’re both into strong women, are the running champs, and are himbos. What more can I say?

Also the Bobby Wasabi and the Miyagi-Fang kids talking about their trauma ,:) The Wasabi Warriors are just like, “yeah, we regularly have to prevent crimes and were in a spy organisation.” And Miyagi-Fang’s like, “Jesus crisp, okay, you live an exciting life. A lot of us have committed crimes and have trauma as a result of a literal war criminal weaponising children :/” and the Wasabi kids are like, “WHAT??”

This concept just amuses me greatly. Maybe I should actually write a fic?

[milenadaniels]

On Eddie/Shannon (and Ana and Buck)

So I was rewatching Eddie Begins for a thing I'm working on and I noticed almost a throwaway line I hadn't heard before. I've seen fandom talk a lot about Shannon as a mom but I've seen next to nothing about Eddie/Shannon as a couple and y'all, from what evidence we have, it was a pretty horrible relationship. I mean just god awful and irredeemable.

(Cut for length but as a teaser, I've been firmly on the Bi!Eddie boat since I fell into this trash bin but by the end of writing this I'm actually wondering if they don't mean to reveal him as gay instead because his relationships with women are nearly identical in the worst way.)

Obviously, we saw the fallout/arguments both times he came home and Shannon ended up leaving but there's a one-liner that points to how they were before Christopher was born too. Right at the start of the argument about Eddie re-enlisting without telling her, Shannon says, "Again. Without telling me. I got pregnant and you signed up. Surprise!"

This man literally heard he was about to be a father and went "how can I both provide for my growing family and not have to deal with this at all?" and joined the fucking army on the spot. And then he kept re-enlisting even though his continued absence was hell on his wife.

Honestly, from my POV, mad props to Shannon for dipping as soon as she could. Absolute dick move as a mother (she for sure could have taken/come back for Christopher) but as a wife I'm so on her side here. They got pregnant and Eddie bailed repeatedly and not only bailed but left her in El Paso with his family (her mother is implied to live farther away), and we don't know all the circumstances of her situation but we do know that A) she was very familiar with the Diaz' parents' criticism, and B) she had no life of her own to speak of!! She had no job, never mentioned anything other than her mother, and in their big fight Eddie even stresses that no, she can't get a job, her place is in the house raising Christopher.

I love Eddie Diaz an unhealthy amount but much like Buck 1.0 was painful to watch, Eddie pre-Shannon-leaving was a dick. Which is super telling me to me. Because Eddie's canonically an amazing father.....once he's a single father!

I still have a few important episodes of season 2 to watch that might provide more context but yeah, I think Shannon/Eddie were one of those couples that just were together cuz they had some interest (I always think of Sk8r Boi - he was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious?) but ultimately didn't really connect much? But they either got married because it was the Next Thing to do or because she got pregnant, it's not clear. And their relationship seems to have degraded with each milestone because they just weren't right for each other, they were just stuck.

Literally on the beach, they're admiring Christopher and his constant happiness and Shannon goes "yeah, I don't know where he gets that" ...maybe because happiness is not a defining trait of their relationship? And Shannon is also literally asking, bro what is this? What are we doing? What am I to you? And he can't answer! He can't say, "you're the woman I'm in love with". He just knows that he's supposed to be with the mother of his kid so there we go! :)

Throughout the entirety of Shannon's arc on the show, Eddie repeatedly is ambivalent about whether to get back with her. There's no consistent "I love her so much but X" or "I have no feelings for her anymore but I should try for Christopher", there's a consistent "I don't know, I don't know, I'm waiting for a sign I guess? I don't know".

WHICH

I think it's super interesting when it comes to Ana because our boy has learned precisely 0% of his lessons when it comes to romantic relationships. He's still operating under Sk8r Boi rules and looking for a vague cutout of what a "mother for Christopher" is supposed to look like, connection and shared values be-damned! And with Ana it's like ":) it's nice?" and correct me if I'm wrong but we haven't seen any actual kiss, or like big gesture or anything towards her, right? It's just more of the same "sure? I guess? waiting for a sign" kind of energy. And for those few who didn't see it very clearly from acting choices and writing, we have Carla stopping by to say "look at your life, look at your choices."

And it's so absurd because if this was any other show you'd just be like "aw, this poor guy really struggles to connect with people" EXCEPT HE DOESN'T. Eddie is shown very much connecting emotionally with other people - primarily Buck (and Bobby), then all of the 118 and Carla and his Abuela/Pepa. (Obviously Christopher is #1 but I'm talking connecting on equal footing as adults.)

And looking at his relationship with Buck...it's literally the opposite of ambivalence. As noted here, it literally took 1 whole day for Eddie "Mr. Broody, according to Shannon" Diaz to be dancing like a dork and throwing himself into Buck's space. He introduced Buck to Chris (offscreen) pretty much right after, made Buck a part of their Christmas when he didn't want to include Shannon. And yes there are more dynamics at play here (reintroducing a lost parent is a lot more disregulating to a kid than introducing a new coworker).

But I'm talking about active passion here vs passive indifference.

About pulling this coworker into his life to the point that Buck becomes a staple of the Diaz home, to the point that as Eddie's dying, he thinks of his son and half the memories include Buck too (and Shannon's there literally as a 'hey you can't leave him too' warning, there's not a single happy memory of her in that whole montage, not even at the beach which was super cinematically shot).

About the fact that when Shannon got pregnant, he signed up for the army without telling her.

The Big Thing he hid from Buck? Making him Christopher's legal guardian, tying him to his family legally for all time.

In conclusion, Shannon leaving was the best thing for both of them to have a chance at happiness (though healthy, well-adjusted people might have figured a divorce and living nearby would have been better for Christopher but alas). And now Eddie is repeating his pattern of not looking for or choosing his happiness with Ana. It's the exact same relationship dynamic, and I'm looking forward to him understanding that and moving on from it.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Most Hated Characters

As y’all can see, this week’s T5F is a request sent in by anon. I picked it because I guess at the time I thought it would be fun to explore some of TWDG’s least popular, and most hated, characters while also taking into account characters that I can’t stand. 

These are characters that the vast majority of us don’t like or downright despise for many different reasons. None of us are going out of our ways to defend most of these bastards, and anyone who is I get the impression they’re doing so for the sake of being Different™... though while looking around for info about these characters and what people were saying about them, I did find myself in some odd places.... come across, eh... odd fanart. 

But I guess this is the part where I say this is all in good fun and if you happen to be a legit stan of any of these people, that’s cool. Maybe you can answer some of my questions as to why??

5. Nate 

Okay, when I said that I found myself in odd places, it turns out that Nate actually has a bit of a fanbase. It’s not big or anything, from what I can tell, but big enough for me to question why because I was under the impression that we all agreed that this dude sucks.

Seriously, I would’ve put him higher on this list if I hadn’t discovered this handful of people making fanart for him and claiming him as a comfort character. While I find that an odd choice, you do whatever makes you feel comforted, y’know? Just would like to understand why. 

As for the rest of us, he’s terrible. Every time I go back to 400 days, he’s someone I never look forward to seeing. I’ve even tried not getting in the truck with him while playing Russell’s story, but in true Telltale fashion, you’re forced to drive along with this creep. 

Red flags start going off when Russell’s sharing his story about his previous group, something you can tell left some trauma with him, and Nate is just weirdly fixated on the girl Russell liked. Like yeah okay dude, I get it, it’s the apocalypse and you haven’t had any action for a while but oh my god. 

Then the whole walker thing that almost gets Russell chomped is annoying. Oh, and how could I forget about how it’s implied that he attacked the old couple before and was there to finish them off, which he does no matter what and it’s not great. 

Hell, he even uses the line Russell gave him but it’s worse because crazy eyes. And if you don’t say anything, Nate murders them right there without a thought and then continues to be a real creep. Fuck this guy. 

As the wise Eddie once said, “I don’t what that guy in my life, man!” 

4. The Stranger

Hey, have I ever mentioned how much this dude sucks? 

I don’t even have to tell you why he’s on this list. We all know the obvious reasons-- manipulated and kidnapped Clementine, which caused Lee to get bit by a walker and fucking die. No one here is white-knighting for this dipshit. 

Sure, it sucks what the Stranger went through. He lost his family and that would be enough to drive anyone up the wall. I mean, just look at Kenny. But this dude, okay. Look. Listen. I can only feel so bad for you when you lost your son on a hunting trip that your wife told you not to go on, then when you went looking for him, you literally left the car unlocked and running for anyone to come across. Then you come back and gasp. So your wife leaves you for being a moron... then when you find her dead, you cut off her head and keep it like a damn bowling ball because...??

At least that’s what I get from it. The writers probably should’ve done a better job with explaining what the hell happened but y’know. 

That’s not the only reason no one likes this guy. Oh no, you also add to the pile that the Stranger himself is dull. As a character, the dude is just.... boring. And I get that’s probably what they were going for with the whole “I’m just a guy, but you ruined my life and made me this way.” 

However, when you set him up the way you did with the talks over the walkie and the stalking, I was expecting a bit more personality outta this loaf of soggy bread. But no... boring yet crazy. Interesting combo and I’m afraid it doesn’t work. 

3. Larry

Larry?? On a list of most hated characters?? Nooo...

Yeah, surprise. Larry also sucks. Stop the presses. 

Larry is a pain in the ass to deal with for two episodes, constantly belittling the people around him and treating his daughter like shit. Oh, and don’t forget how he behaves towards Lee even if you try to be as nice as possible. Nope, he doesn’t care, he still thinks Lee is garbage and will continue threatening to reveal Lee’s secret to the group. Who cares if that could fuck up the dynamic and endanger the group? Larry sure doesn’t. 

Until the very end, this dude is just a splinter in the foot. By the time you get to the meat locker and he has a heart attack, you’re not gonna save him because you think he’ll be better if he survives. No, you’re attempting to save him for Lilly and Clementine’s sake, and if you don’t even care about that, you siding with Mr. Family Man to smash his head in. 

Not only is he a soiled diaper, he also don’t have much personality outside of asshole. He has maybe two moments where he’s shown to be just a bit chill? I mean, Lilly tells us that he has a lot of pain and that’s why he’s like this.... but that doesn’t excuse his behavior. 

Oh, and can’t forget that apparently he was obsessed with Lilly leaving the lights on so he let the power get cut, so Lilly couldn’t eat ice cream and had to let her hair air dry like a heathen. Unforgivable. 

So yeah, fuck Larry. 

2. Troy

Ugh, Troy. Fuck this guy. 

No really, out of all TWDG characters, this dude and my #1 pick are my most hated. Can’t stand Troy and the only reason I didn’t do a tie for #1 is because for a split second, Troy does show a tiny bit of humanity when Carver is beating down Carver, but blink and you’ll miss it.

Which had me a little concerned to find a handful of posts about having crushes on Troy and drawing fanart but.... again, I guess you do you? And if you can, please explain why because I honestly don’t understand. 

Just looking at the screenshot of him annoys him. He’s got one of those punchable faces, y’know? 

Anyway, when playing as Clementine, I’m always worried that he’s gonna pop up outta no where and grab her by the neck like he does later in ep3, even though I’ve played s2 a bunch to know that he’s not going to. 

But hell, he doesn’t need any excuse to smack anyone around, and there are a handful of times he can really hurt Clem depending on her choices. 

Not great, dude. 

Can’t say I’m too sorry that Jane shot your dick off. 

1. Badger

Yeah, you guys remember Badger. Y’know.... the man who murdered Mariana then laughed about it, claiming that he enjoyed watching her head explode and would do it again and again if he could? 

That’s what puts him at #1. He may not have the most screen time like Larry or Troy, but when he is around, he’s fucking awful.

He gets joy from killing Mariana, like it’s some sort of sick thrill for him to go around murdering children and other innocent people. 

Remember Francine? Caught her and used her as bait to try and get Javi to come down, and even went as far as to have some fingers cut off. Like, he gets off on destroying people, entire communities.

Shit, he seems to even get off to his own beat down. 

He’s fucking gross and outta everyone on this list, I haven’t found a single person being like “Yeah, he’s garbage but I like him kinda?” like no, you’re such garbage that even the Different™ crowd don’t want you. 

Fuck Badger. 

By the way, if you’ve never had Conrad kill him in your game, I suggest looking it up. It’s pretty good. Gives Conrad a little bit of closure after what happened to Francine, as well as give Javi some closure for Mari’s murder. 

Not a single soul wept for you, Badger. 

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Dishonorable Mentions

-Joan. She’s boring, forgettable, and no one is out here gushing over her because most of the time, we can’t even remember her name. -Danny from Vince’s story in 400 Days. Y’know, the dude going to prison because he was convicted of SA. I’ll never understand why people go with him over Justin. Justin sucks, too, but not the same level Danny does.  -Lilly in S4. Ugh. That’s a whole other topic for another day. -Arvo, though I guess he has a bit of a following, too

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Well there ya go. Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

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Next week’s T5F Top 5 BROTPs