#I also like not having to fucking CHARGE the things I’m listening to stuff with

[citricacidprince]

Was forced to get a new phone today

[fisshbones]

Obey me nsfw hc’s! Ft: Thirteen, Belphegor, & Asmodeus

Warnings: Nsfw, cursing, somnophila mentioned in Belphie’s (not super detailed,) Thirteen refers to her strap as her “cock,” impact play, Oral (giving (Belphie,) Mommy Kink mention, Degradation, Belphegor is lowkey a freak, choking mentions, maybe ooc, watersports (Belphie,) gn!reader.

A/N: First time trying actual smut so sorry if it sucks lol, also haven’t written in ages 😭

Thirteen!

She’s definitely a switch, though she leans more towards being on top.

When she bottoms she’s pretty bratty, please put her in her place!!!

I personally think denying her would be the best way to punish her.

She would definitely beg and plead to cum ♡

She definitely has a mommy kink (receiving)

She’s also very into temperature and wax play.

When she’s on top, she’s bossy af and expects you to listen to her every whim (within consent ofc) if not, get ready for a good bad time.

She prefers to overstimulate you as punishment, sometimes she likes to deny you of your orgasm as well.

She’s big in dirty talking, she likes to degrade you and praise you at the same time.

Think “such a good little slut, you take mommy’s cock so well.”

Aftercare: is very important to her! Afterwards she makes to gently wipe you down, kissing any marks she left behind. Always runs you both a bath afterwards.

Belphegor

Okay I’m gonna be so fr you’re likely to be on top like 90% of the time.

That being said he’s still the one in charge for the most part.

Man is also a dirty talker, pretty much exclusively degrades you. Unless he knows you need a little extra love rn. (Don’t ask how he knows, he’s more in tune with your wellbeing than he lets on.)

When he subs for you he’s the biggest brat in the history of brats.

He likes his sex feral: let him choke you, or you can choke him, let him pull your hair, smack him, let him bite and mark you everywhere. Honestly all of these things could go either way and he’d be down.

Belphegor is definitely into somnophila, that being said if you don’t want to participate in it (whether it’s giving/receiving/ect) he won’t be upset. He’s cool with whatever, but he wouldn’t mind waking up to some good ol’ sloppy toppy.

This man probably freakier than described here. I could definitely see him being into water-sports, specifically on the giving end. Something about marking you with his piss really fuels his more possessive tendencies. If he was feeling particularly lazy and mean he might just straight up pee in you. 😖

Aftercare us kinda meh with him. He’ll hastily wipe you down with a damp rag before throwing it back into wherever he got it from. (Dw he’ll take care of it and put it in the laundry when he gets back up.)

Belphie does like to engage in pillow talk afterwards before he falls back asleep.

Asmodeus

Switch of course.

You want him to bottom? Done. Want him to dom? Done. Wanna fuck him till he’s too cock drunk to think or vice versa? Done and Done ✔️

Your pleasure is his pleasure ♡

He really doesn’t have a lot of no’s during sex, but he is not a fan of anything that could leave permanent marks on himself.

He would be hesitant to do the same to you, but if that’s what you really want he’ll do it, just don’t expect to do something like that to him next.

Moving on from his no’s , besides praise, I think lingerie would be one of his biggest turn ons.

Asmo loves to go shopping for all sorts of new lingerie sets, both for you and him. There’s just something so classy about it. Lingerie is like the gift wrap on a present, you and him being the gifts.

You can expect aftercare to be nothing short of lovely. He cleans you up with a very soft towel, then starts running a bath the perfect temperature. He has drinks/water in his room so you guys can rehydrate after y’all’s marathon sex.

If you’ll allow it, he will carry and lift you into the bath. He’ll kiss any sore spot and apologize. Normally during this time he likes to talk about stuff, (mostly more intimate/personal esque conversations.)

While you guys are talking he takes his time to massage all the knots in your shoulders, neck, and generally sore areas.

If you enjoyed please consider liking and/or reblogging!

Please Do Not Repost, Translate, or Plagiarize.

[bunnivez]

Modern! Zoya…

Her first job was as a tattoo artist. Most of her costumers were women, they would specifically ask for her to do their tattoos; both because of her amazing work and the other… to get a close look at her. Whats better? Zoya is aware of the many women she is pulling (๑>؂•̀๑)

Imagine you two meet randomly bumping against each other and turns out you work at the shop right next to the one she works at!

Or you got recomendad by your friend to go to a certain shop to get your tattoo done, telling you to specifically ask for a woman named Zoya since her work is more professional and she is more trusted to give you great results.

She used to live in an apartment until she got a husky… I mean she it wasn’t like she couldn’t afford an average house but damn, she now has to pay more…

Has a love-hate relationship with her dog TRUST. Often complains of their sudden howling and the amount of hair they shed.

“It’s 1:30AM why the fuck are you howling like that!? You sound like you’re dying!” “Oh my f… You know i’m tempted in leaving you bald so I don’t have to deal with having your hair on the couch.”

At the same time however, they are also her best buddy and friend. There are times where she even lets them sleep with her on bed… For at least an hour before Zoya falls asleep and accidentally pushes s them off the bed in the middle of the night.

Yes she is a messy sleeper, god knows how the heck she ends up with on leg on the headboard and the other hanging on the bed. She snores like a dad…

Like even her huskey got scared for a second and kept barking until she woke up.

Listen, when going out she has this whole badass outfit, rings on her fingers, chains, unbuttoned blouse, a whole ass fit that screams “DADDY”

And then there are times where she just pulls up to the grocery store with an “Idgaf” outfit… Yet somehow she still looks hot. Jorts, a black baggy shirt, socks with the damn sandals or crocs combo (ಠ_ಠ)

Has a tongue piercing and you cannot tell me otherwise. If not, it is definitely her nipples.

Dark or alcohol filled chocolates girly. She isn’t a fan of overly sweet stuff.

Once choked on boba balls.

Honestly she can be romantic at times. She takes you to dates often— if not she plans something you two can do at home. Like cook, watch movies, play games or something.

Motorcycle rides with her are very common, more so with the fact that she doesn’t really own a car… Which she did confess that she may or may not be the best at driving.

Who knows how the heck she managed to stay alive with the many incidents she’s had while driving.. I guess she’s immortal.

Has an electric guitar, she posts videos on TikTok playing it and they get pretty high views! Like 406.1k views or something.

Her reposts mainly contain of two things; brain rots, lesbian.

Takes the most silly pictures of you and posts them on her story.

Source ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

HAHAHSGSBSGAVAWHABE, IMAGINE HER LAYING DOWN WHILE YOU SIT ON TOP OF HER TO DO HER MAKEUP.

Holds you like a stuffed animal when sleeping. It’s actually so cute but it’s kinda hard to break free from her hold.

YOU GUYS PLAY ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, AND WHOEVER LOSES IS IN CHARGE OF COOKING.

Her cooking is actually pretty damn good! I feel like she is especially a specialist when it comes to cooking meat.

If you are too shy to order your food whenever you two are out, or pay, DO NOT WORRY, SHE LITERALLY IS YOUR SAVIOR, NO KIDDING. This woman gives no fucks at all, too shy to order? She’ll do it, hot your order wrong? She’ll go up and tell them.

Have I mentioned she gets up at 5AM just to do pushups?…

The type to randomly smack or grab your ass, she doesn’t care about the size.

I don’t recommend watching romance movies with her… she will cringe at any kissing scenes acting like she wouldn’t or doesn’t do that with you 24/7.

Not the best at dancing… Girl is STIFF.

I have the feeling she is the type to not admit that she is in pain during her period. She will act all tough and all until she can’t anymore.

(We need more comforting the ptn women on their period instead of the other way around, they also need comfort 😔)

Oh yeah did I also mention she was close to breaking your phone once? It all happened when you were scrolling through TikTok and saw a thirst trap (*cough* Rhea Ripley *cough*) and when I tell you grabbed your phone and threw it… IT HAPPENED.

Says she hates kids but has a soft spot for them actually. They remind her of Horo when she was wayyy younger.

Randomly sends you weird TikToks…. Like it’s so random and she says nothing about it.

She isn’t a fan of dresses, but she once tried it for you and it was a sight. It hugged her curves right and she kept flexing her muscles. If you take any pictures she seriously will kill you. (Especially if you send them to her friends).

If you are out she WILL text and call you every 36 minutes if she can’t come with you. And if she is too busy to pick you up she will face time you on your way home.

Has like so many posters of her favorite bands, korn, kiss, Deftones, ect.

Randomly gives you kisses when you least expect it. They are so random, you could be distracted and she will kiss your cheek, or your forehead, or the top of your head.

If she sees anyone eyeing you while in public she will pull you close and give the person a nasty look.

[queenofallimagines]

Blue Lock boys and having a S/O who has a sex toy collection

A/N: This is extremely self indulgent and came to me while browsing the internet. Part one of 2 and These are also all real toys so if you know exactly what I’m talking about lmao kudos to you✌🏿

Isagi:

- lmao oh boy

- Brand new to this world

- Only has the blue flesh light you got him as a joke for Christmas

- He uses it more often than he’d like to admit…

- So when he comes to your place and he’s in the mood to get nasty

- You gotta hold his hand bc he’s gunna be a little nervous

- You ask him if he’s cool with toys and he’s like ofc

- Very excited to see what you use to make yourself feel good

- Then he is taken aback to see a box of sex toys ORGANIZED BY COLOR

- “We in for a more rough mood today or like a quick thing?”

- “YOU USE THEM FOR DIFFERENT SCENES??”

- Let him take a look through your treasure chest(pun intended)

- And he’s like 🙂 bc how does he use that

- “So whats this?? It’s like flat but it has silicone flowers on the top??”

- “Oh that’s a grinder you strap it to a pillow”

- “….and it’s supposed to be green and blue?”

- “The colors on this one were pretty 😤 aesthetic matters too!”

- Best way is to just dive in and let him test out each one

- His favorite so far is this pretty little one called CLAUDETTE and he likes grinding on it while he kisses you and fucking into it

- Likes how the colors look all funky and fun

- “Is that-“

- “A football colored one yes it is.”

- “…..you didn’t have this before you met me did you?”

- “Listen it’s not MY fault that you be away on games a lot and this just so happened to be in your girth!”

- He will indulge you and do those dick mold cast things and will demand to see videos of you fucking yourself with it when he’s away

- Nothing would make him rush home faster than seeing a video of you moaning all pretty in nothing but a spare jersey of his bounding up and down on an exact replica of his cock begging him to hurry home

- Fuck the game he’s on the first fight back to Japan IMMEDIATELY

- LOVES to use them in punishments!

- When you’re acting all bratty he’ll pretend he’s not on his very last nerve

- Not super good at controlling his true emotions but when he’s calling you pet names making you feel all flustered can you really tell he’s upset?

- So when he flips a switch and tells you to “hold fucking still or I’ll tie your hands to the headboard” and he’s in between your legs holding you down it’s definitely a surprise

- Has one of the vibes that are controlled by phone

- He’s not so cruel as take you for a stroll in public

- (Also he really doesn’t want to get slammed with a public indecency charge because you can’t keep quiet)

- He’ll make you wear it as he goes about his business in the house

- Ignoring you without a care in the world as he’s relaxing on the couch and you’re begging him to bend you over anything

- “Hm? I didn’t hear a ‘I’m sorry for being a brat Yoichi’ so all that crying ain’t doing nothing”

- He has really good control when he’s pissed

- Usually that glassy eyed look while begging him to ruin you would be enough to have him on you like a dog in heat

- Buuuuuy unfortunate for you upset yoichi is some cold

- He’s literally not even flinching as you grind in his thigh making a mess all over his pants

- Rolling his eyes before shooting you the most annoyed look

- “You gunna keep making a mess on my pants or you going to fucking apologize already?”

- “I-I’m sorry Yoichi… please I need you so bad.”

- “Fucking finally.”

- Throws your legs over his shoulders but he’s still mad so he’s gunna edge and then overstimulate you before he even pulls his cock out

Nagi:

- oh he’s so silly

- Like he’s definitely like??

- Probably accidentally finds your stash before YOU show him

- “Oi, what’s this thing over here?”

- And you walk in and he’s messing w a silicone octopus cockring

- Boy if you don’t stay out my mf closet-

- Wants you to show him all the cool weird stuff you have

- “How do you even use this?”

- “Like any other toy???”

- “This tentacle is NOT like a regular sex toy.”

- Does it again by laying down on some of your stuffies and sees one w a obvious zipper

- Opens it to see a dildo inside

- “Why is this IN here?”

- “So nosey mfs like YOU don’t just come in my room and find my shit.”

- “…..that’s fair.”

- His fav for you to use on him is this gold and grey silicone stroker that has skin like texture

- When he’s too lazy to move he likes you being on top of him kissing and biting his neck while you slowly move the toy on his cock

- Will have him squirming and moaning loud as hell like you’ve never seen before

- Nagi isn’t the most vocal but he’s moaning like a pornstar

- “Ohhhh fuuuck pretty keep stroking me like that.”

- No better way to get him to fuck you like you want then to slow stroke him with a fleshlight or stroker

- Asks you to make a cast of your pussy

- When you actually make him one it’s like never brought up again until one night you get a text around 2am a few hours before nagi is set to touchdown back in Japan

- Of him fucking it like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

- Not sure who the fuck recorded that for him🤨 bc it’s too good and so are the angles to be a shaky one handed quick video

- Moans about how he can’t wait to feel you cream on his cock

- As the most obscene noises play from your speakers with the image of seishiro fucking into a fleshlight of your likeness all messy with lube and cum

- From the way the video starts off he had to have been at it for a while already

- You catch a glimpse of his hazy eyes as he’s mercilessly pounding into the toy

- When the video ends you get another text from him

- ‘Just got out the airport be home in 25’

Hiori:

- you’d think he’d be like weirded out

- Or confused

- Nah

- He’s seen all the gamer porn there is to see

- Monster and fantasy themed sex toys are a walk in the park

- “Woah, they like make dragon dicks that you can actually ride?”

- Favorites are Ophiuchus the Forgotten, Spyro Slim, and the twilight Moon

- He likes textures so anything with more ridges and bumps the better!

- Likes ones that seem normal. He’s a sneaky fucker so hidden in plain sight is great

- Like oh you thought this was a regular lipstick? Nope! A bullet vibe

- Has like 6 of these in your purse at all times

- Annoying as will pull a “hey can I talk to ya for a sec?”

- And then lead you into a secluded area and shove a toy in you while having his mouth do the heavy lifting

- “Mmm~ taste better when you’re this scared.”

- Someone get his ass 🙄😒

- Let’s you fuck him but like you’re a service top at most

- Not very try willing to give up power because that means he looses the game

- Will tie you up and ride you

- Puts on his most slutty performance and really lets himself get whiny

- As soon as he unties you it’s a chance to get him

- Like oh so anyway we’re not done🥰 now you can’t touch

- Will send you links to stores asking you what you think

- “Check out this dark souls one”

- “Yo, baby who the FUCK is that going to fit inside”

- “:((( but it glows in the dark”

[confused-gender]

Monsters 2.5

Summary: You survived for so long. The yautja came to clear out the xenomorphs and to find you.

Months passed after I moved all my stuff back into Du’sa’s house again. We’re currently on a hunting trip which leads me to now. I have no fucking clue where I am. “How th-.” Something buzzed by me and straight into the tree next to me. I turn to look to see a makeshift spear in the tree next to me. What could have made that? Du’sa said we’re just hunting animals. Did he forget to mention other life to me? I heard a twig snap and I quickly turn in the direction. I listened carefully and could hear footsteps coming towards me. I pull my weapon out and also get ready to press my location device just in case I need Du’sa to find me. I get into a fighting stance but lower my guard when I see a man coming at me only to stop in his tracks. “Wait you’re not one of them?” He asked me confused. “What are you talking about?” I ask. I stare at him confused. “Them! The huge aliens that hunt us for sport!” The man yells at me. I look even more confused. “Huge aliens?” As far as I’m aware the only… No he didn’t.. “Can you describe those aliens?” I ask kindly. If this is what I think is I’m gonna be pissed. Before he could answer clicking could be heard. I was so caught off by the clicking i didn’t realize the guy grabbed my arm and started pulling me with him. “Come on!” He yells. I begin to run with him. “Where are we going?” I ask him. “Some where safe.” He said. Finally we come to a stop in a clearing. “This isn’t a safe spot there’s to many places for them to hide.” I tell him lowly. I go to touch my location device and it gone. I pat my body down in a panic to see if maybe I slipped somewhere. “No.. no…” I say quietly to myself. That’s when I hear a twig snap. I immediately grab my weapon pulling it out and pushed the man behind me as I look to where the twig has snapped. “We gotta move and we gotta move now.” I tell him. I begin to move backwards with him. “Run!” I push him further away from me as I’m tackled and feel a shooting pain in my leg. I manage to get my attacker on their back and I quickly grab my staff. I bring it back over my head before bringing it down on the arm of my attacker. Clicking fills my ears but i didn’t care. “Oman-di..” I froze. No it can be him. He wouldn’t have attacked me. I quickly put my weapon down and go to pull the mask of the person I’m on top of. As soon as the mask comes off I sigh as I see it’s not Du’sa. I’m soon thrown on my back with a roar. I roll out of the way before they could slam their foot down on my head. I quickly get back on my feet and wince as I put pressure on my left leg. “A challenge? A puny human like you challenging me?” The yautja said. I smirk and nod. Before I know it I’m falling into perfect step with this yautja. I dodge his fist and hear woosh past me. I back up from him and spit the blood out of my mouth. “You hit like a Youngblood.” I laugh dryly. He charges at me and I take notice that the arm the I impaled is just dangling a bit. I sweep his legs out before taking the moment he falls to grab his already hurt arm and pull it tightly behind me. “Oman-di!” I hear again. I don’t let my guard down before I feel myself get pulled off. On instinct i pull my knife out and stab one the hands on me. They instantly let me go. Clicking once again fills my ears. “Two against one isn’t fair. Yet again who said you were. You’re hunting pray that are pathetic compared to the other things your kind hunts.” I say angrily through gritted teeth.

Tag list: @sophiaj650 @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @yondus-girl @vintage-bumblebee

[aphroditeinthesea]

I love your work so much omg 😭 🙏🏻 you’re such a good writer 🫶🏻

I saw you were looking for requests 👀 and I was wondering if you’d be willingly to do Leo Valdez x f!reader where they are kinda rivals (yk they just bicker all the time) both working on the argo together or making weapons with a team in the forge. But then some guy joins their team and starts mansplaining the basic equipment. There’s just situation after situation where the reader will explain something to the guy and he won’t listen but then the second Leo says it he gets it. And at first Leo kinda notices but just thinks it’s because he’s in charge and stuff. At some point though he overhears the guy showing her how to do something (the wrong way) and he’s like “yo back off man, she knows what she’s doing”. Maybe he even protects her from open flames when the guy almost burns her handling the equipment wrong (something she’d told him a million times before)?? Maybe both happen idk?? The two just become close after that and he ends up confessing or something

Sorry about how much I wrote 😭 your request rules said you liked the requests to be specific and I wasn’t sure how in-depth to write… so if that’s too much you can totally take a bunch of it out lol (I work with power tools because I’m an arts major and I’ve had so many guys trying to explain basic power tools to me… so this has been on my mind for MONTHSSS)

“ i’m a feminist, obviously (but i wouldn’t really mind him saving me) ”

leo valdez x fem!reader 🔨

⚠️ o/c being creepy, mansplaining, almost getting set on fire

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

“That’s not,” Y/N stormed over to the boy. She grabbed the wrench out of his hands and began turning it, “righty tighty, lefty loosey.”

“What did you just say to me?” He scoffed.

“You were turning your wrench the wrong way, Valdez,” she replied, handing the tool back to him.

He grabbed it from her, crossing his arms, “for your information, that’s exactly how I wanted it.”

She rolled her eyes, “did you sleep, like at all?”

“A little.”

She huffed, “get some sleep, I’ll clean up.”

“No,” he defended, “I just need to finish this up-”

“If you try to use power tools why you're half asleep, you'll end up getting yourself killed,” she grabbed the wrench from him again, “and you know who’ll have to clean up your dead body? Me, and that’s gross.”

“You're too good to me.”

“Fuck off.”

He chuckled, wiping his forehead, “okay, fine. I’m heading out.”

“Bye,” she waved him off.

“See you later, sweet cheeks.”

“Shut up!”

He closed the door of bunker nine behind him, leaving her alone. She sighed with relief, tightening a few loose screws.

She hummed to herself as she began cleaning the mess around her. She picked up some tools, placing them back on their shelves.

“Nice song.”

She jumped at the voice. She turned around to see a boy standing by the stairs. “What are you doing?”

“I’m Marcus,” he replied, walking closer to her, causing her to slowly back up, “son of Hermes.”

“Well, what are you doing here?”

He put a hand on the ship, “heard you're working on this Argo thing, figured I could give a few pointers.”

She grabbed a toolbox, quickly walking away, “we don't need any help, thanks though.”

“Come on,” he smiled, following her, “you can always use some help, the more the merrier, right?”

“Take it up with Leo,” she answered, avoiding eye contact with her. She rushed to collect her things and made an escape to the door.

“I’ll walk you back.”

“I’m fine,” she sighed, opening the door and walking out.

She almost forgot about the incident the next day when she walked into the bunker. She found Leo with an annoyed look on his face, digging through a toolbox.

“What’s up with you, Bernard?” She commented as she walked towards the son of Hephaestus. She knew it was a stupid name, but she did love how much he hated it. She also loved the fact that he didn't understand it (she started using it more after finding out he had never seen the Santa Clause movies).

He sighed, “Mr. Macho over there,” he nodded his head toward the boy from the night before playing with a blowtorch. “He convinced Chiron that he should be working on this, too.”

She scrunched her face, “he gives me the creeps.”

“You know him?”

“He came in here last night after you left,” she explained, “I think he has a thing for me or something.”

Leo’s face tensed, his fist clenching around the hammer he held, “you think?”

“Hope not.” She took a deep breath before walking past the tall boy to grab some extra wood.

“Hey,” he grinned at her, “miss me?”

She forced a smile, walking away from him, “you know it.” She cursed herself for trying so hard to be nice to the little fucker, but she really didnt feel like starting something right then.

The day went on with her desperately trying to ignore his comments towards her. She found herself staying by Leo’s side in hopes that Marcus would think they were dating. As much as the idea grossed her out, it was better than some weirdo thinking he had a chance with her.

“I’m gonna head out,” Marcus mentioned, wiping off his hands with a rag.

“Bye,” Leo spoke flatly. Y/N stayed silent but let out a breath of relief when the boy walked out.

Leo looked up at her, noticing her change in demeanor, “are you okay?”

“What?” She met his eyes, “yeah, yeah,” she nodded, “I’m fine.”

He raised an eyebrow, “are you sure? Because I can figure out a way to get him out of here, if you want?”

She shook her head, “thanks, Leo. But, I’m fine, really.”

“Okay,” he breathed out before looking back to continue what he was doing.

She grabbed the blowtorch Marcus had formerly been using. She began using it (i don't know how they work i’m sorry), when Marcus walked back into the bunker, he immediately rushed over to her.

She rolled her eyes as he wrapped his hands around hers, “you're using it wrong.”

“I don't think I am.”

“No, you hold it like this-”

“She knows what she’s doing,” Leo called over.

Marcus just shook his head, “see when you do this,” soon the flames blew back towards them. Marcus threw the blowtorch down in the direction of Y/N in a panic. The flames spewed out and before Y/N could react, she felt herself pulled into a corner, tanned arms wrapped around her.

“What’s the matter with you?!” Leo yelled, his arms tightening.

“Look, it was her fault,” the son of Hermes motioned his hand towards the girl.

“Are you kidding? Since she’s been here, nobody’s almost died (italic). Then the second you walk in you almost turn her into toast!”

She nervously sighed. She slowly reached her hands up to hold onto his forearms, brushing her thumb against his skin.

“You shouldn't have a girl working on this in the first place, there's no way she knows anything about this!”

Leo took a deep breath before yelling once again, “get out!”

“What?” The boy scoffed.

“Get out!”

Her heart rate quickened. Despite all her fighting with him, she had never seen him this angry. She watched as Marcus shook his head before stomping out of the bunker.

Leo’s grip on her loosened, letting turn around to look at him, “are you okay?” He asked, briefly looking her up and down for any wounds.

She nodded, “I’m okay,” she looked up at his face, yet avoiding eye contact, “thank you.”

He softly smiled down at her, “yeah, well, that guy was an ass.”

She giggled, nodding in agreement.

“Don't worry, I’ll set him on fire next time I see him.”

She wrapped her arms around his torso, “thanks, really.”

“Of course,” he nestled his nose into her hair, “if anything happened to you, I think I would have actually killed him.”

“Good to know.”

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Protecting You Forever

(A/N- We need more comfort fanfiction about RL so I’m here to provide. Also I’m proofreading this late at night so misspelling is probably there)

RL! Bela Dimitrescu x FEM! Reader

(Warning: Mild NSFW mentions about you and Bela, partying, alcohol, swearing, sexual harassment but nothing major, BELA COMFORT)

Now playing: “Everything I Wanted” by Billie Eilish

You and Bela have been dating for a few months now but it feels like it’s been forever. Bela was perfect for you, always treating you well, taking care of you, you name it. Before dating you Bela just worked on paperwork, she had no time to have fun. It’s not like she cared though, when it comes to the school counsel what has to be done, has to be done no matter what. Then you came along and became her world.

She had promised herself that she’ll take some time off for you. To make sure that you feel loved and treasured like a priceless gem. Usually she’ll take you on dates or spend time in her dorm and it leads to other delightful things. Though today you were invited to a party by one of your good friends Angie and wanted to bring Bela along.

Bela is not the party type and she rather spend one-on-one time with you but if this party is another way to make you smile then she’ll go.

....

You’ve been at the party for about an hour now, chatting with friends and acquaintances, doing chaotic shit with Angie while Bela almost has a heart attack for y’all’s recklessness. And of course a Angie-style party is never complete without alcohol. With a bunch of drunks in a large room together stuff is bound to go down.

Everything was all good until this girl came up to you when Bela wasn’t around. At first she started some small talk asking your name and how your day’s been. It was clear that she was drunk from her movements to her speech. She was close to you, a bit too close for comfort. During your conversations she would pat your back and hit your thigh multiple times. The first few times you brushed it off and ignored it but as time went by you began to feel uncomfortable.

You could tell that the touches wasn’t just a casual friendly gesture, it had an ulterior motive to them. You can just sense it. You wondered where Bela was at, she couldn’t have gone far right?

All the sudden you hear loud footsteps coming from behind, in no time you see someone appear in front of you. It was the goddess herself, your girlfriend Bela with fury burning in her eyes.

“What the hell is wrong with you. Can’t you see that she’s uncomfortable?” Bela says to the drunken woman with such hostility.

The intoxicated woman stood straight up and clenched her fists, trying to intimidate Bela. Which failed and only made her even more pissed. You quickly grabbed Bela wrist, turning her attention to you and softened her gaze a bit when she saw the discomfort in your eyes.

“Let’s get out of here, I want to leave.” You say, hoping that Bela will listen and not catch a charge for beating a bitch to a pulp.

She thinks for a moment before exhaling, turning to face the woman behind her. “If you ever fucking think about touching her again I will make sure you’ll regret it.” Bela states with pure disgust evident in her eyes. She can’t wrap her head around why someone would commit such an act like this. It’s disgustingly inhumane.

The woman huffed in annoyance before walking off, leaving the both of you. Bela turns and holds out her hand for you to hold, in which you do so and she swiftly leads you through the crowd all the way to the exit. As soon as you got outside, a breath of relief came out of your mouth.

Thankfully there wasn’t anybody close by, finally some peaceful and quiet.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner.” Bela says, she wants to pull you into a tight hug but she doesn’t want to make you even more uncomfortable considering what you had just experienced.

As Bela patiently waited for a response, she saw you come closer to her and wrap your arms around her waist. “Yeah just a bit uncomfortable. I can still feel her touch linger on me, but I’m fine now that you’re here with me.” You say as you nuzzle your face into the crook of her neck.

After you spoke those words she reciprocated the hug and rubbed your back up and down in a comforting way. The two of you stayed there for a moment, enjoying each other’s warm and comforting aura, while the cool midnight breeze hits your skin.

Bela pulls away to look you in the eyes before speaking, “It’ll be practically impossible to protect you from all of the cruelty in this world, but listen to me, no matter what you experience I’ll always be here to save you from it.”

You gave her a small smile before saying a quiet thank you just above a whisper. A light blush appears across Bela’s cheeks and pulls you back into her comforting embrace, kissing your temple.

“It’s no problem, I’ll protect you forever my love.”

Masterlist

[sturniolo-rat]

✨Chris Sturniolo Headcanons✨

For Black Girls✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

💋 Chris loves black girls

I’m sorry but in my head Chris prefers black girls. Like Atlanta Georgia black girls… thick, dark, dressed to the nines, hair done, acrylic nails 💅🏽💅🏾💅🏿absolute fucking queens. Like I don’t describe Y/N in any way but best believe if it’s a Chris fic she’s black to me.

💋 He sees fucking hates racists

This doesn’t actually need to be said but I figured We’d get this out of the way first. Chris definitely listens to you when you talk about race issues so he knows all about micro aggressions. He always notices them and stands up for you every time. “Baby, if anyone says that shit to you again I’m gonna catch an assault charge!”

💋 He owns silk sheets

This man most definitely would buy a full set of silk sheets after you sleep over his house for the first time and he notices you brought your own satin/silk pillowcase. He doesn’t realize it’s for your hair until he surprises you with them the next time you sleep over and you tell him. “Oh, I just thought you were being bougie.” Then he buys more sets of them because he decides to throw away all his cotton sheets.

💋 He learns your hair care routine

Chris is the only white person you trust to touch your hair. He makes taking care of your hair into a really loving and intimate experience. If you’re in the bath he adds epsom salts, sets up candles, and does a bunch of stuff to set the mood. “You have any music requests, Mama? If not I’m probably just gonna put on the sexy time playlist.” He sits out side of the bath and takes his time washing and conditioning your hair making sure to detangle and section it the way you taught him. He does the same thing when you’re in the shower except he stops occasionally to pull you close and feel you up. “Come here, Baby. You’re so fuckin’ pretty and you smell so nice and clean. I just can’t resist.”

💋 He sits with you when you’re getting your hair braided and brings you snacks

Before your appointment he packs you a lunch bag full of snacks for the both of you because of course he’s coming with you. “Alright, Baby, we’ve got Doritos, McDonald’s chicken nuggets, and a shit ton of candy. We’re all set to go.” If you think he’s not gonna come when you’re gonna be in the chair unable to get away from his yapping you are sorely mistaken. He’s always keeping everyone entertained and happy. “What’s up ladies! You have any tea for me today.” It’s just him feeding you snacks and having silly conversations with you and the person doing your hair. If you ever show up to your appointment without him everyone misses him.

💋 He pays for your acrylics

He insists on giving you the money every two weeks because he’s just “helping to keep his princess feeling pretty” He also likes to help you figure out designs and themes nails. He sends you random texts with nail inspo all the time. “I know a zoo theme seems extra, but let me cook, Mama!” I’m certain that he makes you get a C for Chris on one of your nails every time you get new set. This probably isn’t exclusive to black girls but like as a black person who gets their nails done I like to go all out on the designs and shit gets expensive.

💋 You convince him to wear a durag

He only agrees to do it one time in the house. You use the situation to teach him its use and significance in black hair care. It takes him a few tries and you have to demonstrate it a lot but eventually he is able to put it on correctly and he looks super cute. Not cute in a “this is a good look for you” kind of way, but in an aww “the little white boy is engaging in cultural appreciation” type of way. “I think if anyone saw me like this I would get cancelled.”

Taglist

Masterlist

Idk if people put their tag lists on headcanon posts??? Pls advise

@daddyslilchickenfingers2 @mrsmiagreer @rafecameronsbitch @lovergirl4387 @gdsvhtwa @ashley9282828 @j-worlds-blog @stephanienwf @achrisgirly @draculaura123 @abbypost @cind2224 @crazychrisl0v3r @ryli3sworld @bkwrld @chrattstromboli @pinkishpearls @pepsienthusiasts @stunza @sturnssmuts @angelic-sturniolos111 @69isabella69 @maryx2xx @sturniolo04 @bigbeefybitch @klaus223492 @r93339 @sturnzsblog @spotconlon55 @robins-scoop @junovrsmp4 @sturnlover4eva @blahbel668 @lilahnowheretobefound @luxy-nyx @tuffsturns @m0r94n @sturnstvs @pepsicolapussy333 @maddyslifesstuff @dogblof @honeymoonxxz @xplr-sturns-e-m @hayhjelmstad15

[hotluncheddie]

New anon here... I've been thinking about the government shoving Eddie into witness protection without letting him say goodbye to the rest of the group, which is a real bummer Steddie-wise because they were definitely headed towards something. So Eddie is like, in the suburbs of Chicago or somewhere under the new name Nathan Edwards or something, gets a slave wage job at a Scoops Ahoy, and proceeds to eat his feelings.

A couple years later, Steve is passing through the area, sees the Scoops, and thinks what the hell, he's doing pretty well for himself these days at whatever "fuck you dad I can make it on my own" career he ended up choosing, he can go in and tip some fresh outta high school kid the way he'd always appreciated back in his Starcourt days. And wow, the guy behind the counter definitely isn't a teenager, but he does look familiar...

:0 anon!!!!!

i’m hoping by saying he eats his feeling in the ice cream shop that we’re on the same page here… (bc oof 🥴👹)

but ugh witness protection is so sad omg but big hurt/comfort possibilities maybe i think i think

they make them leave straight out of the hospital, him and wayne and one box of stuff each. they give them new names, a new place, set wayne up with a new job. but it’s not the same, nothing is, never will be. eddie has to cut his hair, thankfully not a buzz cut but he hasn’t had his curls sit above his ears in years. it’s the thing that makes his feel most strange, he thinks - not recognising himself in the mirror.

recovering physically took a long time, mentally, just as long. but eventually he needs to be around people again, needs money, a routine. the scoops job started as kind of a joke and then he realised it was the place he applied with the easiest commute and the owner was a really chill dude at the interview and then it really wasn’t a joke anymore. eddie worked a scoops ahoy. the pay is whatever but the work is fine and with wayne’s wage they more than get by and while it’s boring, it also kind of feels like breathing room, time to slow down and learn about himself again, after everything.

after a while eddie is actually kind of digging the sailor outfit, gives him an excuse to be kind of silly and get away with way more with customers that he should. like you can’t really get mad at him, not dressed like that, not when he still gets the orders right. it feels like a character, he’s the bard, the jester, and one day he’ll break free but for now - he enjoys the free icecream.

it started small, employees are allowed one item in break and he usually went for a soda, then that changed to a milkshake or a cone. and then one night he was closing and it was right by wayne’s birthday and there was a quarter of a tub set to be thrown out. and, well, eddie thought, why not take it home?

then the new monthly schedule comes out and since most of the part timers are younger and he has his (new) van it’s got him set to closing alone most shifts. fine by him, one hour of pay where he can blast his walkman while he cleans, best case scenario even.

he was also in charge of making sure the tubs were correctly filled ready for the openers and that meant throwing out the near empty ones. so near empty that that kid in eddie seems to rear up and remind him of all those times they couldn’t afford icecream, why let it go to waste? he always did have a sweet tooth.

so most nights his routine after work is to get home, have dinner with wayne, get high, watch some tv or read or listen to music and most notably polish off whatever ice cream and ‘only just out of date so still definitely good’ toppings he’s managed to squirrel home.

that last bit is notable because it’s been a year of working there, just under a year of this new routine, and eddie’s had to size up his once baggy uniform.

he’s kept definition in his legs and arms since his job is running around and scooping frozen shit. but now he’s padded with a layer of chub and his stomach is padded with a lot more than that, having bared the brunt. his cheeks have also rounded and his thighs and ass are honestly looking better than ever.

and with everything so new that’s been forced on him, this new at least feels like his. he knows how it happened, he’s not dumb, and yeah sometimes he ate just to wallow but he enjoyed every fucking bite of that ice-cream. and yeah he knows the red stripes that streak up his sides and push agains the waistband of his shorts aren’t everyone’s idea of desirable but, this is him now. everything else in his life is new, may as well have a new body to go with it. and to be honest he finally feels like he’s recognising himself in the mirror now. this new guy he’s had to become, there are ways that it’s still his.

but god does he miss everyone. not a day goes by he doesn’t think of home, his friends, his life, the people he almost died with. steve. so every night he gets high and eats ice cream and feels his belly swell that little bit more. sometimes he cries, sometimes he laughs but he’s alive and he has wayne and they’re safe. so every night he eats icecream.

-

steve moves to chicago with robin. he’s in school to be a physical therapist, robin studying italian. they moved just outside the city because it’s cheaper, a nice little neighbourhood. hes getting by, he works at a gym and helps with some of the classes, it’s decent pay and fun and he’s getting more and more days where that darkness feels far away, his rain cloud isn’t so thick. he’s doing it, surviving. living, even.

but, every day he misses eddie munson.

he’s out jogging when he spots it, taken a new route and made it to a strip of stores he didn’t know were there. with a scoops ahoy. just like summer of ‘83.

he laughs.

for old times sake and knowing robin will get a kick out of it he head in inside. thinks the 20 in his sock is more than enough to have spare for a tip that should brighten whatever kid is working the counter. surely they don’t still have the same unifo- nope, they do, and the guy at the counter looks much closer to steve’s age than the high schooler he expected. he’s cute. big eyes, nice hands.

-

eddie’s frozen. there’s a spectre in his store. steve’s staring at him. eddie’s stares at steve. eddie’s suddenly filled with anxious energy, unsure how to process what’s in front of him. tugs at his shirt out of habit, smooths the fabric down over the plush of his stomach, readjusts his hat that doesn’t need readjusting, bounces on his toes. what the fuck.

and eddie sees that steve doesn’t quite recognise him with his rounder features and shorter hair. he can’t wear his rings to work (they’re different, gold but still chunky) and, obviously steve’s never seen him dressed like this, also probably never imagined eddie would have a belly like that.

the second thing that registers in eddie, after the initial shock, is feeling his stomach drop out in fear. for wayne. for their place. for his job… for steve.

he doesn’t remember what the rules were about contact with his past. but he’s pretty sure there were rules on it.

but then something flickers across steve’s face, a flash of lightning, and he’s moving, leaning across the counter and enveloping eddie in a hug. ‘oh thank god.’ eddie hears steve breathe, strained and relieved and so full of emotion eddie feels his throat close and his eyes burn. steve’s here. eddie squeezes back and breaths deep, he smells like sweat and hairspray and home.

his steve is here.

and all eddie can do is cling back.

they’ll have to figure something out. he can’t let go of this again.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

I feel like Night Terrors is just old and odd. Friends or partners, his show of affection could be old fashioned sometimes,, ex. draping his jacket around you when you shiver or opening doors for you. I have a feeling he’d be a “ladies first” type of gentleman. (if you could even call him one).

I also feel that he always has a unreadable grumpy expression on his face, like, all the time, no matter the situation. I’ve been starting to think that that’s just his relaxed face. And as someone who really pays attention to people’s facial expressions, I would probably mistake him and think that he’s upset with me or something—especially if he’s very silent.

Like you said, about him not really socializing and knowing how to talk or act with people, i feel like he’d be quite hard to understand what he means with his words, i feel that he would be very enigmatic with the people he does talk to—always with the side stepping replies, if you ask him; “Do you like being/hanging out with me?” he would probably reply with; “I don’t mind your company.” or; “Maybe I do maybe I don’t.” I feel like he would be THAT person, or if he asks you to go somewhere with him, since he probably rarely does this, you’d be a little teasing with him, “and would this be a date you are asking me out on?” I feel like he’d reply with, “if you want it to be.”

But i ALSOO feel like he’d be a really like, serious person. hmm very straight forward too. and always meaning exactly what he says. like if he asks you to sleep with him, he’s not leading on to sex, he literally just wants you to sleep next to him 😭.

Last one I promise 😔..do you think he’d be either purposely or accidentally demanding? i mean with his past and stuff, i feel like he could come off as harsh with a lot of things he says. meaning it or not.

I know he’s not a main character on your blog.. but i can NOT get over this man. i’m blaming the anons that got me into this pit

OKK… i’m just rambling atp. i’ll stop and save you the pain, this has already gotten too long,, but PLEASEE give me your thoughts and input on this stuffs.!!

Listen I love both Candy AND Terrors and I am more than happy to ramble about them any fucking time. Any characters that aren't popular I love giving extra attention. But you're right!

Starting from the top, he probably is pretty gentlemanly, even is he's gruff about it. He holds open doors for you, if you're cold he'll give you his jacket, he'll order for you at restaurants, he'll pay for you. Part of it is because he's a bit gentlemanly, but also I feel like he just views himself as the one in charge between the two of you, and since you're so important to Candy he does his best to take care of you for him.

He totally has resting bitch face. It's not intentional, but he's just naturally a frowner, even if he's in a relatively good mood he doesn't really smile all that often, if anything he just frowns slightly less. Get super duper close to him over time though, and he'll spare you a few small smiles every now and then.

Also, you're very correct with his replies. He doesn't want to seem too excited about things or appear more enthusiastic than he is, but he also has no idea what a normal reply would be. "Do you like this food?" "It's alright." He says, meaning that he actually really DOES like it, but he doesn't know how to express that. Ask him a "Does this outfit look good on me?" though and he ends up standing there for a few moments trying to think of what to do. He answers you with a "I think it's nice." said quite softly, meaning he thinks you look lovely.

And he also totally does mean things literally. He would absolutely just mean for you to share a bed with him and sleep if he asks "Would you like to sleep together/would you like to share a bed with me" he does not mean anything nefarious, and he'd probably be much more obvious if he actually wanted to do something more adult.

When it comes to being demanding... I think it's usually accidental. Like with him not knowing how to be polite and sociable he ends up making demands when he means a request. "Get me a soda." "Come sit over here." "Stop what you are doing and come here." "Bring me that." He's not even trying to be demanding but the man has never had to say the word please a single time in his life before so everything comes out as a statement instead of a request. If he is being intentionally demanding though, you can tell the difference in his tone of voice. Also, you could train him to say please, but he'll only do it for you and it's very begrudgingly at first.

[possibilistfanfiction]

Surgeons AU - when they first meet 🫶🏼

[just a tiny bit of bea's pov, maybe i'll do ava's too tomorrow]

//

it would be both stupid and irresponsible to not know at least the basics about the interns you’ll be in charge of before they get there, so you know: ava silva, md, phd is quite impressive on paper. 

however: ‘silva, you’re with me,’ you say after you’ve introduced yourself to the small group and given the other four their assignments. as you take off down the hallway. dr. silva — beautiful, although that’s not a very professional thought as their boss — is wide-eyed and enthusiastic, far too talkative for you to really engage with at 4:30 am.

‘anyway, you don’t have to call me dr. silva. that sounds so serious. ava is fine, he/she/they pronouns, i don’t really care, it’s all fun to me.’

you nod, making note, but, ‘i’m going to call you dr. silva.’

he just laughs. ‘for now.’

you fight the urge to roll your eyes. ‘you worked with dr. salvius, for your doctorate?’ you ask while you wait for the elevator, for no reason other than that it’s the most normal thing to say and sometimes the way you were raised — polite smalltalk is better than silence —still overpowers.

dr. silva nods. ‘yeah. biotech stuff, neural interfacing, all that jazz.’

‘i read your research that came out this summer in the new england journal of medicine. it was quite fascinating.’ you refrain from saying amazing or incredible or groundbreaking or bordering on miraculous because dr. silva is grinning already. 

‘pretty cool, yeah? i want to go into neuro, mostly because i would hate for all that research to just get stuck in the lab.’ 

‘well, dr. superion is the best in the world.’

‘oh yeah, i know. she and jillian have a thing; it’s actually why i wanted to match here so badly.’

you ignore she and jillian have a thing for your own sanity, pushing the button on the elevator for the fourth floor, cardio. ‘it’s a great teaching program,’ you say, because it really is, all things considered. ‘if you need anything, these first few days especially, don’t hesitate to ask. i’d rather you reach out than do it wrong.’

her grin softens into a smile, singularly for you. ‘you’re much nicer than your vibe let on at first, you know that?’

you’ve spent your whole life trying to be kind, amidst a lot of cruelty. you know you’re contained, exacting, aloof, but you liked medicine in the first place because those things — your focus and your quiet — never stop you from being able to care for people well; dr. superion, especially, has taught you that those things can make you listen better, comfort more, explain procedures more clearly to your patients and your interns both — those things can be good.

dr. silva isn’t thrown off by your silence, which is both annoying but also something you appreciate. it’s going well; he’s talking about his research and the outdoor cat who lives by her capital hill apartment, but then she’s looking at the tablet — giving you your patient’s latest vitals like you asked, getting her back on track and focused at the task at hand — and runs right into lilith, rounding the corner.

lilith’s coffee goes everywhere, all over her the floor, and dr. silva’s tablet. 

‘god fucking damn it,’ lilith says, and dr. silva just looks on a little startled but also like they’re trying not to laugh — a horrible idea, if lilith’s pinched expression is anything to go by.

you apologize to lilith, which prompts, thank god, dr. silva to also apologize. lilith hurries off, cursing — not too quietly — at her ruined scrubs, and dr. silva turns to you, a little sheepish.

‘she’s hot,’ he says, then clamps his mouth shut. ‘my bad; it’s so early.’

you roll your eyes. ‘wipe off that tablet off. we’ve got rounds.’

[mousetoe-wc]

The Medics of the Clans

I’m planning a rewrite of warrior cats so I’m messing around with how they work, nothing too out there but I like what I got going on.

Ok so somethings I’ve changed is the hole thing of you are an apprentice until your mentor dies, that’s silly and I’ll get to that in a minute.

The second thing I changed is the name, medicine cat as it’s an appropriation of North American indigenous cultures.

A lot of people have changed the name to Healer but personally I don’t like it, nothing against I just don’t care for it. So I’ve changed it to Medic because so much of warrior cats is fighting and battles, it makes sense to me it wound keep with that theme.

Different titles

I’ve gone and made little “titles” for different types of medics. These are the most common titles.

First is Medic Apprentice could also be known as the Medic’s apprentice or Medic in training, it’s exactly what it sounds like, a cat that is learning how to be a Medic.

The Second Medic is a fully trained medic who, most of the time is the youngest fully trained medic, it’s custom for there to be at least two Medics in the clan, the second is to listen and help the head medic

The Head Medic is the one who is in charge of the medicine den and everything that is going on, in and around it. The Head Medic takes on the role when the previous Head Medic retires or dies.

Senior Medic the oldest, most senior medic in the clan. Is normally retired but not always.

A chart of Leafpool’s history as a Medic, going from bottom to top, just to give you an idea of how this kinda works.

A Disgraced medic is a cat that broken the code severely and has been stripped of the medic title (even when that code is severely unfair).

Field Medic are warriors that have basic training in medicine and healing, they are normally sent on battle patrols or patrols that have the possibility to turn violent.

Hollyleaf and Brightheart are examples of Field Medics!

Also important to remember that Senior medic does not always mean their the head medic!

Example of this is while Goosefeather was the senior medic of Thunderclan, he was retired and Featherwhisker was the Head Medic who was in full control of the Thunderclan medic den.

History of Medics

Ok this is very much a work in progress/ has ver little done and I’ll definitely be revisiting this later with a more in detail post, BUT, until then this is what I got so far-

I dont like a lot of stuff in moth flight’s vision, so much of it dose not make sense like, why would you split up your young kids when you didn’t have to? Why did any of the other medicine cats agree to such a dumb rule proposed by a very young, new to this job cat?? Wtf is going on here??

I really like the direction bonefall’s going with their rewrite of moth flight, it makes sooo much more sense to have the kits be older and have training in medicine and that’s why they were split up. I still don’t know how I’m going to tackle moth flight’s vision tho, but moth flight will definitely have a lot of Importance in the clan’s history.

Such as below! After a cat finishes their Medic training they receive a Luna moth wing.

I will be doing a post on Starclan so hopefully she’ll show up there.

The Medic role will be invented in dotc.

The no mate no children role may not be invented until later in the timeline?? Maybe??

At the end of oots/avos the clans are going to get a bit of a soft reboot and the no mate no children rule is going to fuck off, much to the dismay of a handful cats who think the code is a vital part of clan life

Which brings us to the broken code where shit is hitting the fan but that’s for another post

Like I said it’s really a work in progress but I’ll put a link down here when I post more stuff about it!

[livwritesstuff]

2002, established relationship, dads!steddie living in boston with their 1yo daughter, another excerpt of this bc i think it's my actual fav part

“I’m done with this goddamn city,” Ed yelled up the stairs, “So fuckin’ serious, Steve. I’m out.”

Steve sighed, well-acquainted with this one of Ed’s many tirades.

Just as he was standing up from where he’d been sitting at his desk looking over some notes and prepping for a counseling session later that afternoon, he heard the door shut loudly (though not a full slam, he noted, because Ed had Moe with him). He headed out into the hallway in time to see Ed coming up the stairs, Moe balanced in one arm.

“What happened now?” Steve asked.

“An idiot BU kid driving Daddy’s Lexus almost T-boned me with Moe in the backseat because — apparently — red lights are just a fucking suggestion here.”

“I mean…I’m pretty sure you ran every red light in Hawkins when you were nineteen.”

It wasn’t a helpful comment, per se, and Steve knew that, but when Ed was riled up like this, there really weren’t any helpful comments available.

“That’s entirely different,” Ed countered, passing Moe over to him so he could pull off his own jacket, “There’s, like, six people on the road at any given moment in Hawkins, and two traffic lights.”

“Okay, well, we can move, love,” Steve said tiredly, steadily approaching his limit for how many times he could listen to Eddie rant about this particular issue without taking any sort of real action to solve it, “Nobody said we had to stay in Boston. Also — we can actually afford to buy a house now, so…”

“Wha— we can?”

“A down payment, yeah.”

“The fuck is a downpayment?”

“Uh…” Steve paused. He’d long since become comfortable with his role in his and Ed’s finances — being that he’s almost entirely in charge of them. He knew that Ed had grown up worrying about money in a way that Steve never had to so he actually liked being able to take over that part of their life together. He liked being able to let Ed not think about it (even though sometimes it meant that his thirty-five-year-old life partner asked him what a goddamn down payment was), “It’s kind of like putting a security deposit down on an apartment, except instead of for securing a lease, it’s for securing a loan — sort of. That’s…there’s better ways of explaining it, and there’s a lot more to it, but it’s sort of like we’re paying a certain amount of the mortgage upfront to prove that we’re committed to paying it off month-to-month.”

“How much is it?”

“Depends,” Steve shrugged, running a hand over Moe’s hair as she started to doze off, her head drooping down to rest on his shoulder, “Pretty sure twenty percent is considered, like, ideal, or something, so it all comes down to what our budget is.”

“What’s our budget?”

Steve leveled an eyebrow at him.

“What?” Ed asked.

“Do you actually wanna know? Because when I tried to show you our electric bill last week you pretended to be asleep.”

“Uh — buying a fuckin’ house together is totally different from you reprimanding me about leaving the heat on too long.”

“I don’t think I’d have to reprimand you anymore if you saw the electric bill.”

“Okay — yes, Stevie, I actually would like to be involved in our finances just this once because I care very, very deeply about us buying a house. I really do.”

“Alright,” he replied, knowing he still sounded a tad skeptical, “I mean, if you actually wanna know about this stuff, I’ve got some spreadsheets I’ve been using to keep track of that kind of thing, and we can—”

“Baby, if you wanted to talk about spreading sheets, all you had to do was ask,” Ed grinned wickedly, an expression that slowly began to fade as his eyes slid off of Steve’s and onto the opposite wall, probably as he considered how wise a comment that had been to make.

Steve stared at him for a long while.

“Okay,” he finally said, “I’m gonna go put our child down for a nap. If in that time you decide you can be a grownup while we talk about spending a fuck-load of money on property we’ll own and be entirely responsible for, let me know.”

“You got it, man.” 

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 37 part two

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)  (whole thing on AO3)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Inquiring Minds

Wei Wuxian asks the kids if any of them can perform inquiry so he can ask Song Lan who fucked him up like this. Sizhui does a good job, but he has to whisper to himself while he plays, because he is not a mensch like Lan Wangji (yet).

Song Lan says that Xiao Xingchen is the culprit, and the kids immediately ignore apparently-murderer Xiao Xingchen who's sitting next to them, and instead have a seminar on how inquiry works and the niceties of guqin-language translation. 

During the whole conversation, they talk about Song Lan being killed, not just mostly-killed, incidentally. And that's not a translation error; I'm actually able to recognize the phrase "shale ta." (My small collection of Chinese-words-I-can-recognize-when-I-hear-them is entirely Wuxia-based, including useful words and phrases like wo shale ni (I'm going to kill you), dianxia (prince/lord), and dalisi (the court of judicial review).

They all continue to ignore Xiao Xingchen while Sizhui asks Wei Wuxian's third question, which is "who controls you." Song Lan's answer this time is "that dude behind you." That dude, who we are perhaps beginning to suspect is not really Xiao Xingchen, smirks and snaps his fingers.

Song Lan responds by breaking out of the rope and summoning his sword and fuchen (horsetail whisk) to his hands.  

He brings his sword to Wei Wuxian's neck and Wei Wuxian tells the kids to back off, saying that all of them put together are not a match for Song Lan. Which is true, judging by the juniors' sword moves, which consist entirely of standing still and pointing.

Not-Xiao-Xingchen says that the adults are going to talk so the kids should go outside. Wei Wuxian tells the juniors to scram, and reminds them not to breathe in a lot of poison while they're out there. Gee, thanks, Laoshi. 

(More behind the cut!)

Sizhui lingers, and Wei Wuxian tells him he's the most sensible and that he should take charge of the others. He tells Sizhui not to be afraid, and Sizhui says he isn't. 

He also says that Mo-qianbei and Hanguang-Jun are alike. Wei Wuxian denies this, saying they're opposites. Almost like yin and yang, in fact, needing each other to create a balance. 

Sizhui thinks in a voiceover that he doesn't know why, but he thinks they're alike; that if either one of them is there, he doesn't need to be afraid. They are mostly not alike, I think, but they are both devoted parents to Sizhui, so he's right about that. 

His recognition of Wei Wuxian is growing, and I like that he's able to ponder this stuff in the midst of all these life threatening situations. It's actually fairly accurate to life as a teenager, in which the big work of figuring yourself out is always going on in your head, no matter the circumstances.

Dear Slim, I wrote you

Once the kids are gone, both of the adults can drop their aliases, and speak demonic-cultivator to demonic-cultivator. 

They stand around while not-Xiao-Xingchen, who is obviously Xue Yang, delivers a heap of exposition about making zombies and his new Yin Tiger Seal and...*yawn.* 

Anyway, he lured Wei Wuxian here so he could resurrect someone for him. Wei Wuxian says nope, listening briefly to the spirit-trapping bag that Xue Yang hands him and saying that this person is super duper dead, and wants to stay that way. 

Xue Yang insists, reminding Wei Wuxian that the kids are hostages.

During this whole conversation, Song Jiyang, who plays Xiao Xingchen, does a great job playing Xue Yang - possibly helped along by using the same voice actor for overdubbing? - including by embodying many of Xue Yang's annoying mannerisms. 

On my first watching, I found Xue Yang very very annoying, right up until the point that the show flips the script and manages to make him sympathetic and tragic, which is quite a trick, considering that he's a psycho and also a dick. On subsequent viewings I still find him annoying but I like his fighting style a lot, and what he brings to the story generally.

When Xue Yang starts cackling, Wei Wuxian greets him by name and tells him he should stop pretending to be someone he isn't. Xue Yang responds by taking off his eye cover and then by taking off his face, which is a mask that's way more convincing than poor Mo Xuanyu's craft-store paper-mache thingy. 

Xue Yang picked up some good disguise tricks during that summer he spent in Changsha interning for Zhang Rishan.

The mountain of exposition continues, covering a wide range of topics

Skull nails

how Wen Ning is hard to control

Yin Tiger Seal 1.0

Yin Tiger Seal 2.0

other pieces of Yin metal

Xue Yang's mysterious friend who is good at acting, i.e. Jin Guangyao.

Wei Wuxian being the founder of demonic cultivation

Xue Yang murdering the Chang clan

Xue Yang murdering Song Lan's sect

Murder Turtle

The Yin metal sword

The conversation does clear up some confusion about the Yin metal pieces from back in the day. Everyone thought there were only four, but Xue Yang is a Wuxia fan and knows that whenever something from a previous generation is hidden away for the good of the world and then is found by a later generation, there are always five of it. (See: Legend of Fei, Word of Honor)

During this conversation, Xue Yang shows a sincere admiration of Wei Wuxian, saying that he himself only figured out some things about Yin metal, but Wei Wuxian was able to learn without a teacher and create the Yin Tiger seal. It's...kinda sweet. He follows it up by explaining his "murder everybody" philosophy, which makes it a little less sweet.

Fight Club

Mercifully, this near-endless conversation is interrupted by Song Lan crashing through the wall like the Kool-Aid guy, followed by Wen Ning in full multi-punch-man mode. 

Wei Wuxian tells the boys to take it outside, and then he and Xue Yang go out to watch the fight. Xue Yang was never able to control Wen Ning, he says, because "some things recognize their masters too well." Wei Wuxian says that Wen Ning is not a thing. He doesn't deny that he is Wen Ning's master, however. As if he could.

Xue Yang responds with some linguistic subtlety that is lost in translation and then draws his  Xiao Xingchen's sword and takes a swipe at Wei Wuxian, who easily ducks the blow. 

Xue Yang explains that he doesn't want to kill him, just capture and enslave him. Then the fight is on, with Wei Wuxian dodging, blocking, and spinning, while whining about having low spiritual energy in his new body. 

Wei Wuxian calls for a substitute to do his fighting for him. Xue Yang says that Hanguang-Jun is busy fighting his little friend. (I find it hilarious that Xue Yang consistently refers to Su She as his little friend.) He's barely finished saying this when Lan Wangji comes sailing in, deflecting his blow and striking a pose for Wei Wuxian.

Sometimes you succeed in recoloring a super foggy, blue-tinted gif, and sometimes you just give up.

Lan Wangji immediately yoinks Xiao Xingchen's sword off of Xue Yang, and tells him he doesn't deserve this sword. Boy howdy, Hanguang-Jun, you don't know the half of it. 

Xue Yang summons his own sword out of thin air and Sword Superfan Lan Wangji says "Calamity Befalls" because he knows the names of ALL the swords. The guys in his Discord are going to be so excited that he got to cross blades with two famous swords in one day.

Before the fighting starts, Lan Wangji tells Wei Wuxian to hit the bricks, saying "you are not needed here." I love that grown-up, mellower, affectionate Lan Wangji is still a salty bitch. 

Wei Wuxian bails while Lan Wangji and Xue Yang bust out a bunch of their best moves, with the actors doing a lot of the stunt work themselves.

This sword move by Wang Haoxuan is pretty great. Useless, like Wei Wuxian's spinning, but hawt.

And Wang Yibo is grace personified when he’s on wires.

While the sword fight is going on, Wen Ning and Song Lan are having a frowning contest.

They are also beating the crap out of each other.  

The juniors watch the punch-up with keen interest; Jingyi is particularly happy about it. Jin Ling isn't smiling but he seems pretty entertained for a guy who's dad was killed by one of those same punches.

Wei Wuxian sees the fight and reflects that he's not needed there either. But that the juniors do need him, and he gets a happy little smile, finding a context in which he can be useful. 

The juniors all flock to him like ducklings and he teases them about his terrible congee.

When they see Lan Wangji fighting, the little Lans all preen. Jingyi announces that Hanguang-Jun is the best, and asks Wei Wuxian to confirm it. Wei Wuxian is surprised to be asked, given that he's just a random guy who is obviously fucking their favorite teacher. 

Jingy is offended when Wei Wuxian doesn't immediately agree, but Wei Wuxian contemplates for a bit, thinking about all the ways that Lan Wangji is the best, particularly his dick, and chuckles to himself while agreeing with Jingyi.

Lan Wangji backs up these assertions by pausing for a moment in his fight to knock out a whole group of zombies with one strum of his invisible guqin...zombies who dared to menace Wei Wuxian. 

Grave Disturbance

Wei Wuxian collects the kids and goes to find A-Qing, saying she has something important to communicate, and that she's not on Xue Yang's side. He also tells the kids that the dude fighting Lan Wangji is Xue Yang. He doesn’t explain why or how, though. 

They all go into the coffin house/morgue, where Wei Wuxian says they're safe because they haven’t seen any zombies since, like, four minutes ago. Seems logical.

A-Qing pops up from behind a coffin and starts tapping it. She makes it super incredibly obvious, through hand signals, that she wants someone to open the coffin, and most of them, including Wei Wuxian, are too dumb to understand this.

Fortunately Jin Ling is paying attention, and explains what she wants. Wei Wuxian tells everyone to back up, in case the coffin is trapped, and then opens it by leaning directly over it.

Xiao Xingchen is in the coffin, and this time we know it's the real Xiao Xingchen because Wei Wuxian has a flashback about him. 

A-Qing somehow knows it's him in the coffin, despite being blind and not reaching in to touch him. She cries tears of blood because that is exactly how human tear ducts and eyeballs work.

Since she's mute, Sizhui suggests using inquiry to talk to her. She's...alive? Does inquiry work on alive people? Whatever. Wei Wuxian says that Inquiry won’t help, and that he's going to use Empathy instead, because what this show needs right now is a two-episode-long flashback. Jin Ling objects, saying it's too dangerous, but Wei Wuxian says to STFU and let's get cracking.

Then he tells us about his favorite mango drink. At least, if you are watching on Viki, where some of the original ads are included with the episodes. The combination of an abrupt, somber episode ending, followed immediately by a cheerful in-character advertisement, is never not hilarious.

Soundtrack: Stan by Eminem

[lucy-sky]

Loving You Easy (Shane Walsh x f!Reader)

Scandalous Sunday prompt - being caught

My last story for @bernthirst-events​‘s Bernthirst Palooza, woohooo! I did it :DD

Sometimes a little bit of music can bring miracles into your life. Even in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

Warnings: flirting and sort of mutual pining; ALMOST smut

A/N: this is a request from my dear friend @skvatnavle​ - I’m not sure if that’s exactly what you expected, but that’s what I came up with :) Hope it’s fine and you enjoy it.

Words: 1709; AO3 link if you prefer reading there.

When you noticed this little thing during another supply run, you could hardly believe your eyes, even though there was nothing extraordinary about it. Just a little MP3-player with small earbuds. As you pick it up from the dirty floor, you were wondering how it ended up here. Maybe some of the customers dropped it as they escaped the store, panic stricken, someone kicked it and it stayed there behind the counter until you found it. Or maybe the device used to belong to the cashier, and they listened to it during the dull night shift hours when there wasn’t much work to do. This thing had a history you’d never learn, but you couldn’t have left it there. So you put it into your pocket before answering Shane’s voice calling for you.

Later at night, lying on your bed, you put on the earbuds and press the play button on the little device. The screen lightens up, but only to show you the low battery sign before going dark again. You sigh. What did you expect? This thing was covered in dust, it’s been lying there for… Months? And of course there are no new batteries among your supplies at the moment. You got up and checked the drawers in your room, also with no success. Shit. Oh, wait a second. What if Shane got some during today’s run? Asking won’t hurt, right?

Walking out into the corridor, you glance at the door of his room, relieved to to notice the light pouring from the chink at the doorstep. So you tap gently on the door, before gingerly opening it and looking inside.

“Hey, Walsh,” you ask quietly. “You awake?”

“Hey,” he yawns, putting aside the book he was reading. “What’s up, darlin’?”

There were times you used to hate him calling you “darlin’” or “princess” or “sweetheart”, but at some point you got used to these nicknames, as well as you got used to him. He can be an asshole sometimes, but he has never hurt you in any way possible, plus the smug bastard is pretty attractive, you have to admit. You know the reality you live in is not the best place for flirting. You also know the man had history with Lori, and probably with Andrea as well, but somehow it doesn’t repulse you. You all are only human after all, trying to survive in your own ways.

“I was just wondering, did you grab any batteries today?”

“I think so, yeah,” Shane gives you a curious look. “What’s that?”

“Could I uh… Borrow a couple? My flashlight is dying, so…”

“Right. Okay, sure,” he sits down, reaching for his backpack, fishes a set of batteries out of it. “There ya go.”

“Thanks, Walsh,” you smile. “I owe you for those.”

“‘S okay. You keep trippin’ on stuff in the daylight, I don’t want you to break your neck in the dark,” he chuckles.

“Oh fuck you, Walsh,” you huff.

“Good night to you too, sweetheart!”

You don’t know exactly why you lied to him about that flashlight. Somehow the MP3-player didn’t seem like an… important enough reason. Walsh would definitely make even more fun of you if he knew what you really need those batteries for.

The next day you’re in charge of washing the dishes after the dinner. The farmhouse is empty - everyone went out to do their chores. A perfect opportunity to turn on the music.

Once you switch the player on, you instantly realize how much you’ve missed it. Not some song or band in particular - just music. Any music in general.

♫ “No makeup on and shining so bright

My old sweatshirt never fit so right

Dancing around to the radio

Humming the words that you don't know” ♫

Zac Brown sings this cheesy love song in your ears, and if you close your eyes, it’s somehow so easy to imagine that none of this has happened. No walkers, no deaths, no goddamn end of the world - it was just a really long nightmare, and now you’re in your kitchen again, humming to familiar tunes from the radio. 

Smiling to yourself, you start working, swaying to the music and singing to yourself as you’re done with another bowl. Too lost in the music, you almost drop the plates you’re holding as your back bumps into someone. Swiftly turning around, you meet familiar brown eyes and a cheeky smirk.

“Shane, what the fuck? You scared the shit out of me!” you groan, pushing him in the chest.

“So that’s why you needed those batteries, huh?” he raises his eyebrows, clearly amused. “I knew it’s not the goddamn flashlight!”

“Yeah, so what?” your cheeks start to burn, but you refuse to admit your embarrassment. “I deserve a little something that makes me feel happy and alive, and I’m not gonna apologize for that!”

“Whoa, easy, darlin’,” Shane chuckles, raising his hands in a surrender gesture. “Didn’t say you should apologize for anything, did I? I actually really enjoyed seeing you dancing like that.”

“Oh, so you enjoyed it, yeah?” you smirk back at him. “Well, you know what? It’s not some kind of a show for you, Walsh. C’mon. Join me.”

With this you take one of the earbuds off and hand it to him.

“Hate to disappoint you, sweetheart, but I-I’m not really a good dancer.”

“I don’t give a shit. You already saw me being silly, now it’s your turn.”

“Alright,” he nods, stepping closer and putting the earbud on. You press play and Zac Brown’s voice continues singing his song.

♫ “You make loving you easy

You make loving you all I wanna do

Every little smile and every little touch

Reminds me how just how much it all makes

Loving you easy” ♫

“Come on, man, relax. Feel the rhythm!” you encourage playfully, grabbing his hand. “It’s easy, right?”

You both move a bit awkwardly at first, but then the magic happens. Shane’s free hand finds your waist, pulling you closer as you sway to the music together. There’s something so intimate about sharing a pair of earbuds and dancing around the kitchen like that, something way too romantic for this whole setting, this new reality. Romantic, but also the closer he gets the more your cheeks flush, and your heart beats a little faster when your eyes meet.

“See, you’re not that bad,” you say, trying to play it cool, to not give away how flustered you really are.

“Yeah, you think?” his voice is a little raspy, it somehow gives you shivers. “You know what, sweetheart?”

“What?” you breathe out as his thumb gently reaches your chin, tilting your face up.

“You still owe me for those batteries, remember?”

“I remember you said it’s fine.”

“Changed my mind, I guess,” he chuckles softly and leans in. The touch of his lips is unexpectedly tender at first, but as you open up to him, the kiss becomes deeper, way more heated and passionate. You let out a quiet moan as his tongue slips past your parted lips, shamelessly exploring your mouth. You respond with equal eagerness, your hand reaching the back of his neck as you gently nip on his lower lip. It’s been so long since the last time you had a make-out session like that, it was somewhere in previous life, and now you can’t get enough. Neither of you can. 

The earbuds already fell out of your ears, your sighs and barely heard moans the only music left. Shane keeps gently pushing you until your butt hits the cabinet next to the sink, and he urges you to sit on it. His lips are already trailing down the curve of your neck, warm breath tickling your skin, while his hand squeezes your bare thigh - you mentally thank the summer heat that made you wear a light dress today. But when his fingers find a way under the skirt of the said dress, it suddenly hits you.

“Shane… Shane! W-wait…” you whisper frantically, pushing him away. He pulls back frowning, dark eyes examining your face.

“I uh… Don’t think it’s a good idea. Someone can walk in,” you tell him in a shaky voice, heart still racing.

“Nah, c’mon, sweetheart… No one’s around,” he leans in again, pressing a kiss against the side of your neck, then right under your ear. “I know you want that as much as I do…” 

You shiver as his fingers reach your underwear, pressing against your already shamelessly wet center.

“I can feel it.”

Your eyes flutter shut as he carefully strokes you through the fabric of your underwear, his lips back on your neck - shit, he’s gonna give you a hickey if he keeps going like that… But damn, it feels too good. So you surrender. You let those curious digits get under the crotch of your panties, dip between your folds, find a little throbbing bud there. Your toes curl in pleasure when he touches you where you need it the most, your head spinning. In the heat of a moment you blindly reach between his legs, palming him through his jeans, causing him to groan into the crook of your neck.

“Hey, y/n!”

You’re quick to push Shane away the moment you hear Beth’s voice.

“You need any help with those di-” she stumbles, surprised to see someone else with you in the room.

“No, um… Shane’s already helping me,” you reply, quickly grabbing the nearest pyramid of plates and shoving it in the man’s hands. “Thank you, Beth.”

“Oh… Okay,” she gives you a slightly awkward smile, “See you later than.”

“Uh-huh,” you nod, smiling back. 

As she leaves, you finally glance at Shane, and his baffled expression makes you snort a laugh.

“Oh, you find it funny, do ya?” He tries to sound angry, but his voice cracks with laughter as well.

“I told you it's a bad idea,” you shrug innocently. “Guess you’re helping me finish the dishes now, Walsh.”

“Yes, ma’am. But hey, you still owe me though.”

“Okay,” you grab him by the shirt and pull him into another passionate kiss.

“Come get the rest in my room tonight,” you smirk as you pull back.

“Got it, darlin’,” he grins, licking his lips.

Thank you for reading!

additional tag: @munsonownsmyass​

[spidereggs888]

Miguel’s new secretary ooh-la-la

(lol /j 💀)

Miguel O’Hara & y/n, any gender or non gender. Very casual writing style. TW Dark humor, dangerous situations, 18+. Y/n are sorta attracted to Miguel (why else would you be here?) but he doesn’t know you lol

This is a loooong read so make sure you have time or something. Also, there’s an illustration in the middle of the chapter! Enjoy

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

MIGUEL & YOU

ACT 1 | ALGORITHMIC LOTTERY

It's the year 2110.

You are maneuvering through traffic in a sputtery fashion, the lifter problem in your engine getting so bad it almost sounds like you got rocks under the hood. The podcast is going on about alligators in Nueva York sewers.

“Couldn’t be more wrong,” you mumble, “there’s CROCODILES in the sewers, not alligators.”

You aren’t looking forward to this interview. How the heck did you manage an audition for office secretary to the CEO of Alchemax?!

“I don’t know,” you say aloud to your other self, “but if I get the job, Imma upgrade to a better ride than this heap of Maglev shit…”

But there’s other bitches who want this position. Two of them you are aware of: Syd and Brody. Syd is a real suck up who will say any damn thing to get the position. She out-groveled you and got the lead PR accounting job you wanted. Suck-up Syd is what you call her around your friends. Brody on the other hand is opposite; he thinks he can strong-arm his way into anything and he pretty much has. He’s kicked people down, screwed people over, and there’s a rumor he filed a sexual harassment charge on his friend Ashton just to get the promotion before Ashton could.

These two skanks are gonna be tricky, but that’s the least of why you loathe this whole thing. You also heard that Miguel O’Hara is a hard ass. When he came into power a few years ago, he immediately fired the former secretary for talking about his father in a positive light. Then he proceeded to chew and spit out people who ever had the misfortune of being in that job position.

“Or maybe they just cut their losses after raking in half a billion,” your friend Speshall guessed the last time you seen her, “they prolly couldn’t take the heat for that long so they waited until they were set for life then said something stupid on purpose to get him to let them go. What a retirement plan! To work for the sexiest man of the year then have him berate you on your way out!”

She was always like this.

Anyway, now your car is not being validated in the automated parking center.

“What the HELL?!”

“Sorry, your credit has been declined.”

“Oh fuck me-“

You fumble your lanyard of data sticks. You are looking for the green one, which has a small amount of credit you procured from test playing phone games. You lean out of your car window to bring the green stick drive near the wireless reader.

“Sorry, we cannot accept credit from online gambling. Please use another method of payment.”

“Oh fuck you!”

≋ ≋ ≋ ≋

Now you are walking. You had to park where they don’t give a shit about where your money is from. Alchemax is trying to create a good precedent by not accepting dirty money, but Alchemax, as far as you know, does dirtier stuff for pay. Why the hell is “gambling money” any different?!

Scowling so hard, you almost didn’t notice there’s some douchebag trying to walk close behind you. He probably saw the lanyard of data sticks around your neck, so you fluff your scarf around until they are covered.

“I don’t have any money, muh guy” you say in your heaviest Nueva York accent along with this generations lingo.

“Oh I’m not afta you. I was tryna tell ya there’s this otha weirdo following ya. I’m tryna group up here.”

You know better than to look back. That’s what this fucko wants you to do. He’s probably a flasher, so you walk into traffic.

“Hey that’s dangerous, yo!”

You don’t listen. Cars flying past is not as scary as going up to see the freakin CEO of Alchemax.

No cars hit you, so now you have to face reality. You walk into the Alchemax Business Bureau building (one of hundreds), and wave your ID at the receptionist in the lobby. The receptionist is preoccupied with a lady who has one hand on her hip and the other holding out a holo watch. It’s projecting a screen with a giant hourglass animation flipping over and over.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a damn cup of coffee around here, I just don’t!”

“C’mon it’s not necessary to bring security here, ma’am.”

He remains standing behind his desk and grimaces at you. You really need to get him to validate your ID so you won’t be stopped by security, so you pull up your phone and say to the woman, “you want some coffee coupons for Dunkin Donuts?”

“What?”

You open your savings app and hastily air-swipe several coupons to her holo device like someone flicking bills at a stripper. She stops to look at them.

“A regular frap for half off? Oh woooow, how- will they really honor this?” She asks.

“Yeah! It’s good for two more days, so you may wanna hurry over to the kiosk at the west end.”

“Really?”

“They sell all brands of coffee, they’ll honor it.”

“Well, nevermind, then,” she says curtly to the receptionist as she turns her shoulder away, “Didn’t want hours-old coffee anyway.”

She turns on her fancy heel and trots away. You grin stupidly at the receptionist who rolls his eyes and snatches your ID card from you. He swipes it near his card reader then flicks it back without a word.

After a nod, you swiftly leave down the lobby to the elevator area. You round the corner and see an open elevator closing. It's the only one since the other two are under construction. You rush forward as fast as your legs will allow.

"Wait wait WAIT WAIT!"

The doors are closing and you see the face of Suck-up Syd with her smoky eyes and faux fur capelet. She smiles and does nothing as the doors close.

"Shocking typical," you grumble. But you know where the other elevator is. You take off to the other end of the building for the second set of elevators.

You make it onto the elevator with two other people, some white chick and an Indian dude. The lady sees your pass.

"Going for the secretary job?" She asks.

"Yeah."

“Me too. If I don’t get this, I’m going to jump from this building,” the lady jokes.

“If I get this, I WILL jump from this building,” you add.

“Either way, it's gonna be job security for the custodian department,” the Indian guy says. All three of you chuckle politely.

The elevator lets more people in. You check your phone. You are fucking late by 20 minutes, but so is the lady who wants this job or else. You assume it would have taken a while anyway, since there was about 15 people going in for this very same job. Could it be you?! Could you land this job?! What if your mom was wrong?! And what if O’Hara says yes? What if you are set for life?

The final floor of this elevator is reached. You wobble on your way out. The lady doesn’t move.

“Actually, I can’t do this. I’m going home.”

The elevator doors close and she goes back down. You hear a faint byeeeeeeeeeee as the elevator descends to lower levels. You pay no heed and follow the Indian man into the massive hall.

There’s already chaos. One guy is being escorted out of the lobby by his shirt collar, and he's spouting obscenities. Some lady had dropped all her paperwork and she’s too numb to pick it up again. Two ladies near her are sarcastically wishing each other luck, one of them is Suck-up Syd. She looks 10x more desperate today with her tight-fitting outfit and belt buckle the size of a plate. Her overly fake smile gives you no esteem or hope. You almost sit but realize there’s barf on the chair.

Okay, surely everyone is overreacting in here.

“Man I’m not scared at all. There’s a trick to facing down Alpha males,” says a guy who you didn’t ask.

“Ah, cool.” you say through a grin. It’s Brody. You don’t even have to see him to know he’s there with his overwhelming presence of snobbery.

“See, as a Sigma male,” he continues, leaning on the back of the barf chair to talk to you, “I don’t adhere to the Alpha’s orders. That’s how the pack survives! One guy is an outlier so like if the Alpha fails in his role as leader, the Sigma will show by example and the rest of the females and Betas will follow him-“

“BRODY!”

You and Brody see Ashton in the doorway you came from. Ashton beelines across the room with his briefcase raised high. He brings it down on Brody with a loud clunk and they grapple and exchange blows. You go ahead and sit down perfectly still.

"Oh my GOD!" Suck-up Syd muses. She only sees this as two less competitors. You wince as the men start yelling obscenities at each other in their struggle. The guards who took out the last guy come back in and see this happening and they both huff angrily.

"Next!"

"Ah, that's me!" Syd says, “you guys are welcome to leave, I probably got this in the bag.”

She gets up and thrusts her capelet onto the lobby assistant.

.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳ ˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.

Four hours pass. Brody and Ashton were escorted from the building, those bozos didn’t even get an interview, but it was funny watching Brody get dragged down to hell by a demon he wronged.

Suck-up Syd walked out in tears and a forced smile. You felt bad for making fun of her in the past. She’s just kinda desperate and a little pathetic. You assume groveling doesn't work on the boss.

Other people came and went swiftly. The cheerful Indian man from earlier left looking surprised at his failure. The lady who dropped all her crap earlier apparently already had an interview and was reeling from her bad luck. You understand their disappointment since being chosen for this position was like winning the lottery, except you don't know if you won or not.

“Next!”

Your stomach twists but you refuse to be like them. This is just a job. You’ll be answering phones, emails, and possibly even mailing some dry cleaning. No big fuckin deal.

You thank the lobby assistant but she ignores you and walks away. She is just doing her job. She looks very tired of everyone else’s shit and is probably glad it's over. You walk to the elevator where the second to last person is taking baby-steps, talking on his phone with someone nursing his wounded pride. That could be you in a minute.

I'm probably not gonna get it either, you think, but I'm going down with some dignity.

You work yourself up as you step into yet another elevator, this one glass paneled. You stare across Nueva York as you ascend, contemplating your future. So what if you don't make it? You will simply fall back to your job and go about your life. Your mom will say she's right about the invitation being a fluke. You will go back to paying off debts and supplementing your food budget by testing mobile phone games during work hours and before you go to sleep. You see your own reflection, no longer as young as you used to be, and you sigh.

The glass doors open behind you. You walk through another set of foggy glass doors. Despite your self pep talk, you are still not looking forward to this. You've seen pictures of Miguel O'Hara before; over 6 feet tall, wide shoulders that could support an ox yoke, and a presence so large one would think he could go toe to toe with Godzilla. How will the interview go? You imagine fire. You expect a demon sitting behind a black marble desk in the darkness, a horrendous mob boss wearing Scarface attire, spitting fiery facts and passing cruel judgment, his horns ascending at the heavens with searing indifference and contempt for mercy. You expect a fax machine in the corner that will print out your death.

This is not what you see.

There he is, in this meager temp office sitting behind a tiny desk covered in empty water bottles. His shoulders are wider than the desk, but he's scrunching them in to seem normal. He's wearing a regular dress shirt, no tie. No fancy jewelry either, just some off-brand oversized watch on his left wrist. He looks disappointed already, but not at you. He’s squinting down at some of the tiny desks’ interactive holo-projections. You see your name on one of the files he’s peering at through comically large anti glare glasses.

You don’t sit. You are too stressed. He hasn’t noticed you. He picks up one of the water bottles and carefully opens it with his monster hands. They look travel-sized compared to him. He sips it and notices you.

“Hello!” You greet.

He finishes it in two gulps and sets it down slowly, as to not disturb the other bottles.

“Okay I don’t have a lot of time left, so let’s cut through here… you work for the guys in the PR department-“

“Ah yeah, they are a very friendly bunch down there! That is until you get to know them!” You blurt out. He looks up at you with tired eyes and swipes through the files without looking at them.

“Says here you were demoted from vice head PR accounting a while back, but you attached a note saying you have an alibi? Let’s hear it.”

“Uhhh.”

“C’mon I don’t have all day.”

“There was a payment discrepancy, uh, I was given a raise but I noticed my boss didn’t update it for a whole month. He was on vacation and wasn't answering my calls, so... since he left the finances to me I updated it myself… And I got into trouble BUT it was technically not embezzlement, so I was given an ultimatum to either move to a lower department or get fired, so-“

“Self-reliant. Got it. There's a note from your current department head saying she's been notified anonymously that you've been paying for Alchemax home services with gambling money, what do you have to say about that?"

"I- that is a th- thing with SoloGameMedia, ah, they are a parent company to a gambling franchise, therefore every transaction from them is registered as gambling profit- but I test games with- from them directly! It's a side hustle- thing, I- that, I DO NOT playtest games during work hours! Only on-"

"Why do you think I should hire you?”

You are caught off guard by the most basic interview question.

“Hhhhhh WELL… because you need a secretary now?”

He’s already looking back down at the files again. You can see NYPD files, apparently he’s now looking at your small criminal record. You also notice his shirt is unbuttoned on the top. For curiosity's sake, you discreetly raise up on your toes to see down his cleavage. It's deeper than you expected. One mighty flex and that shirt will send buttons flying everywhere. He looks back up as you quickly drop back down on your heels.

“Yeah. Mmm. Ok. So you are way in over your head in college and credit debt, you have been gambling as a means to get by- really don’t care about that, and you did not dispute your boss's ultimatum when you had the chance."

"Wait, what?"

"Four years ago, when your boss gave you the ultimatum to get demoted or get fired. His proposal was ILLEGAL."

Your gut twists.

"That- that was illegal?!"

"You had six months to report him and you didn't. Why?"

"Be- because I just thought he was being fair, I-"

"I'm sorry, but you got screwed."

He looks sincere behind those nerdy lenses with his pout lips. You really want to throw something right now.

“I… oh…”

"Look, the most I can do is re-open your case," he says as he pushes his glasses back up his nose bridge, "You might get a small settlement out of it, but even that isn't guaranteed."

"So... I'm not getting the job?"

"How do you expect to get hired with such an unexceptional history of white collar crime and a meek attitude that's gotten you nowhere? Hey Lyla? Is this all we have?”

An AI assistant pops up from the interactive desk.

“This is the last one, sir.”

“Okay, cool. Look I’m sure you’re actually great at your job, but I have places to be-“

“Wha- well so do I!”

“Uh huh, nice talking to you,“ he scoots his chair back and hits his knee on the tiny desk, sending empty bottles scattering all over the room. He cringes.

“Well if I’m so unexceptional, why was I accepted for an interview?!”

“I’m gonna guess because of some algorithmic lottery? Probably to do with the amount of experience you have in your department, I dunno,” He guesses as he attempts to gather the bottles by sweeping them under the desk with his shoes, “If you wanna blame someone for the short interview time, thank those other time-wasters who came before you. I gotta go.”

“Now WAIT a… minute”

He stands up from his tiny desk as you say that. He’s towering over you with a tired expression and loose strands of hair about his face.

“What?” He asks, all friendliness gone.

“Can we continue this interview at a different time? You obviously haven’t found a secretary you want, but you still need one, right?! I could be the one you need even if I’m not the one you want!”

It takes every inch of your being to not slap yourself on the forehead. He is scrunching his nose, squinting down at you with mild contempt. You get a good look at his sharp, broad temples and cheekbones, complete with a hardened jaw. His thick dark lips are pulled to one side in annoyance and are accentuated with a pair of jowls that look poised to bite at any time like some kind of deep sea angler fish. His eyes are very dark. They almost look red…

His expression goes blank as he sighs.

“Okay.”

“Great! Ah, when?!”

“Tomorrow, same time.”

“Grabsolutely- Great- fantastic! I won’t let you down!”

“Uh huh.”

He leaves. You assume you should leave too. You awkwardly follow him. He grabs his coat off a nearby chair, and you get a brief display of his amazing body shape as he flips the coat over his shoulders. You avert your attention to the floor, already feeling disrespectful after having looked down his shirt. Now you are both in the elevator. You are doing all in your power not to pass out over your small lucky break.

O’Hara pretends you aren’t there as he looks at his phone and chats with his AI assistant.

“Lyla, push the evening meeting to tomorrow as well, except an hour earlier.”

“Roger that!”

“I need coffee.”

“Roger that also!”

“Please, PLEASE tell them to not add cream. I really hate when they do that.”

You wanna ask him if he’s lactose intolerant but you already pushed your luck today.

Apparently he is exiting the building in the same way you are going, but he's booking it with long ass strides and it's difficult to keep up. You both end up on the same elevator again, this time with other people. He awkwardly acknowledges you with a blank smirk and brow raise, then promptly looks back down at his phone. Everyone else is trying not to bother him.

"Hello, Mister O'Hara, I didn't realize you were here! Hi!" says a lady who is shooting her shot at a social connection (she totally knew he was there.)

"Ah, hey. Miss...?"

"Stacy Brian! We met at the Student Festival earlier this year."

"Oh, right, right! Miss Brian, how are you?"

"Doing well! I didn’t know you wore glasses!"

"Oh- I totally forgot these were on my face," he admits while taking them off and trying to find a place to stash them, "I actually don’t wear glasses, it's- um, I have issues with bright computer screens."

You discreetly watch him in the elevator wall reflection as he quickly swaps the lenses out for a pair of red sunglasses. The elevator doors open and everyone flows out into the foyer. You realize you never got his card.

"Hey one more thing, sir!" You call out to him.

"What?"

"I don't have your number! What if we need to reschedule?!"

"Ah, right. Get your phone out, please."

He turns back around and searches for something on his phone. With a swift flick of his hand, he air drops his ID and number to your device.

"Thank you!"

"¡De nada!"

He swiftly leaves through the front doors and trots down the steps. You watch this huge marvel of nature hail a cab. The automated transporter car is so small that he has to bring his shoulders in tight to fit through the doorway. This seems to have more to do with him not wanting to snag his nice jacket.

A man of this position and wealth... hailing a cab? Must be in THAT much of a hurry. You look down at the data he sent you. His ID photo looks like they took his picture after pulling an all-nighter, and his half-hearted smile reveals his crooked teeth. But somehow he still looks great in an unconventional way.

•°《💀》°•

You drive home, feeling both anxious and also deflated. Miguel O'Hara was a mixed bag of what you expected. Speshall hyped him up as a sexy hunk of the year and Brody felt so intimidated that he went on an unwarranted Alpha Male rant, but the guy was so awkward with his tiny desk and water bottles and weird glasses, and he was whining to his AI helper about his coffee. He’s a large… finicky… lactose-intolerant nerd, but he's also got the moxy to move mountains. What’s more, now ya gotta think of what to say to him in the next interview. What could be expected of a guy like that? What if he cancels the meeting and your chance is lost forever?

Your car makes it home and you sit in it for a moment. Speshall left you a text asking about the interview.

Went weird, you text back.

"Welcome back, tenant 27," the AI apartment valet greets.

You open your car door and notice you've been parked over the grates again. You remember when you last dropped your phone in this spot, the fucking thing went right in between the grate holes and you couldn’t get it back for a week. You have the presence of mind to upload the latest bit of information (O'Hara's phone number) to your data cloud.

You walk through the parking garage. You know all the safe routes. It didn’t matter who you were, Nueva York was never safe at night.

You hear footsteps to your left but it’s just a couple of people walking together, a man and woman trying to huddle. The garage opening is just ahead. You go ahead and march out, not looking back.

You step out into the warm breeze of middle-class Nueva York. The wind is artificial, billowing from the hydro-electric plants that keeps this city running. It took you forever to get here, a lot of cheap-skating, white lies, and debt piling to maintain this life, but you are here! Unapologetic holo screens buzz near you as you walk, begging you to spend money as they light up the way to your apartment. There's no point in tapping their "no" buttons since that just wastes your time. The screens showcased brand-new cars, beautiful clothes, and radiant health. If you had more money, at least some of that could be yours. You hate that people roll around in all the wonderful things this world has to offer while you have to make do with decade old clothing and over-processed food. Where the hell is everyone getting it all from? When the hell will you get yours?

“Hey! Wanna buy a shared data cloud?!”

You are now being bothered by a salesman. You say nothing and keep walking. Even saying no opens more dialogue. He gives up but another comes at you.

“Wanna be a part of the elite task force that edits any and all articles about Thor?! It’s a paying job! $100 an hour!”

As dystopian as it sounds, $100 an hour won’t get you far in Nueva York, not in this era of quadrillionaires.

“Hey, I saw ya on da street earlier! Ya walked into traffic!”

You accidentally glance over at the familiar voice talking about the familiar subject. He’s got you. Your eyes are fixated on a creepypasta face, his irises flashing in a hypnotic pattern. This was way worse than the idea of the guy being just a flasher.

He’s a black market demon. The worst street hawker known to man.

You can’t remember much else besides him taking you by the hand and leading you away.

_________________________________________

Next: ACT 2 | BLACK MARKET DEMONS