#I also kinda want to go out to California or maybe Washington. I just want to travel as well.

[foxgloveinspace]

Re: your desert tags:

This is how my heart feels about the snow right now and I’m so so distraught I won’t be able to see any this winter… I hope you see the sand soon dear 🫂✨ sending some dry air your way today

@a-little-lynx

🫂

[possum-quesadilla]

Chapter two of Time’s Arrow is out! I’m so tired. Please read the warnings carefully! As always, here are the fun extras!

Chapter two:

- The lyrics for this chapter’s title are from “Mt. Washington” by Local Natives. Both literally relevant and thematically relevant! I am too tired to dive in here. I plan on maybe doing a deepdive on a bunch of the songs for LoopJuice at a later date, if anyone is interested.

- “It was only when she told him that secret phrase that he finally seemed to accept it all. During one of their many repeats of the same discussion during that year they were in the loop, Lydia had asked him for a code, for something she could say that would convince him without question.” - PRO TIP; always have a time loop code! It’ll save you a lot of trouble. Me and my coworkers have one.

- “Of all of the business majors I’ve met in my time, you have to be, by far, the least fashionable. But you’re also the cutest.” - She was a goth English major. He was a business major. Can I make it anymore obvious? /ref. My own little version for how Emily and Charles met! There may be more on it later.

- “Explaining over and over about the time loop, the Netherworld, Juno, Beetlejuice. What he was, what happened, what it all meant.” - To clarify, they did not spill all of Beetlejuice’s beans! They left quite a few things up to him to decide if he wanted to share.

- “Something tugged deep inside her in a particular direction. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she trusted it. She had to.” … “(Somehow, some way, deep down inside, a voice whispered in her ear. An invisible thread tugged in a particular direction. She would pull at that thread later. More important matters were at hand.)” - Hmmmm! I wonder if this will come back and/or be important.

- “Of course, the moment he’d woken up, he’d jumped out a window and gone God/Satan knows where.” - Like with Beetlejuice, Lydia is having her BFFF’s lingo rub off on her as well!

- “Careful when you lift your eyes, for you may just be met with the edge of the blade that swings over your head.” - TO CLARIFY: the bold is Beetlejuice’s thoughts. He’s still kinda fuzzy from his long sleep, so he’s still being weirdly poetic. He is referencing the sword of Damocles here.

- “Her suspicions were further confirmed when she could hear the demon’s absentminded humming as she drew closer. (What was it now? It had been some pop song Barbara had sung while they cooked together for months now. It was a different melody.)” - Barbara was singing “California Girls” by Katy Perry while cooking with Beetlejuice one time, and it got stuck in his head. One of his stims is repeatedly humming certain tunes to himself! It won’t be mentioned, but here he is humming “You Always Hurt The One You Love” like Ruby Lane in the “Fear Street” trilogy.

- “The demon let out a loud ‘mrrrp’” - Yes, once again, Beetlejuice makes a cat activation noise on occasion!

- “(His fingertips and ears still had that horrible dull purple-blue shading to them. Would that ever go away? She was worried it wouldn’t.)” - Yes, this piece of fanart called it! Some of the coloration from the Frost is permanent. I’m still impressed! <3

- “Oh, how horrendous it would’ve been to lose you. How much joy and light the world would’ve lost. It would’ve been a tragedy unlike any other.” - This is from both Beej and Lydia at once, since they both almost lost the other to suicide.

- “But oh, the words were so hard. Especially as they chewed their lip and stared into his confused, glowing yellow eyes. Why was it so hard?” - TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS IS HARD… Lydia is no expert and neither am I!

- “… it’s… y’know. Moss!” - Moss! Yeah, he was avoiding confronting emotions and his loved ones, but also… moss!

- “Pluto. Her name is Pluto.” …“… really? That’s a little on the nose.” - This is a bit of a callout on myself. It is a bit too on the nose.

- “Pluto’s purr is nice and smooth, like a car engine. Yours sounds like a fifty-year old lawn mower that’s fueled by sugar water as it’s driving over the wettest, muddiest lawn in the world.” - Beetlejuice’s purr is all fucked up like his voice, of course.

- “(She already had a list of name ideas. Gomez, Lisa, Wybie, Lenore, etc.)” - of course, these are all ideas from some of Lydia’s favorite stories. Gomez from “The Addams Family”, Lisa from “Lisa Frankenstein”, Wybie from “Coraline”, and Lenore from Edgar Allen Poe’s “Lenore”.

- “Idiots.” - Yeah, Lyds. That’s how we all feel, bestie.

- “(Lydia could swear she felt her arm burning under the bandages, under her sleeve.)” - I WONDER IF THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER

- “ “Teeth grow back. (Lydia caught sight of a doubtful look on Adam’s face.) …” - While, yes, human teeth does not come back, Beetlejuice’s teeth do!

- “Lydia tightened her grip on Pluto, staring at the ghost intensely in a way she hoped was encouraging.” - Autism to autism communication… I will simply stare at you and hope you feel the good vibes I am attempting to send

- “ “I’m serious. You stood up to your abuser for us, Beetlejuice. That must’ve been very hard.” The demon sat very still, aside from his eyes gently flicking between Barbara’s own. Slowly, the pink washed away to a navy blue. ” - This is the first time someone has ever acknowledged to Beetlejuice, out loud, that his mother is an abuser. It causes a lot of emotions, of course.

- “It’s real late, and I know you three are probably bushed, so I’ll just head down to-” - Beetlejuice wanted to back down to the basement to hide from all of the humans.

- “I… don’t know. I guess I… thought she might have meant well, at some point.” - this is a sentiment a lot of people abused by their parents express, me included. It’s hard to let go of all of the things they have said to you, because they must have meant well, right? They’re your parent. Unfortunately, that often isn’t true.

- “ “It doesn’t change the fact that she does and says things that hurt you, and continues to hurt you. That… discredits most things she says.” The demon bit their lip with a light nod, their eyes darting about. “Y-yeah,” they eventually mumbled. “Th-… that’s… true, I guess.” ” - I HAVE THIS REACTION TO PEOPLE ACKNOWLEDGING MY PAIN. What the heck. Why are brains so awkward?? ‘Okay i guess that’s true thanks’ is a real sentence I’ve said to my therapist so many times. Ugh.

- “Sucks to suck, buddy.” - this is a phrase I say often. I’ve had people be confused about it, so I suppose it’s not that common?

- Beetlejuice and food - this is a bit of a warning now, BJ’s relationship with food is not very healthy and it will continue to decline from here. Food aversion is an unfortunate possible side effect of burnout, stress, overstimulation, etc.

- Barbara’s explanation - If you look back, you can see how suspicious Barbara was of Beetlejuice’s plan from the moment they brought it up. She was doing some plotting of her own!

- Call of the void - this is a genuine phenomenon some people experience, although this is obviously not the only cause of Lydia’s attempt. Just a fitting name for it.

- “Lydia could tell, then, that she certainly had a heart.” - this is a reference to Penelope Scott’s “Feel Better”, which is a song that fits both Lydia and Beetlejuice imo!

- Oop the poem

- This poem is sort of… non-diegetic. Like stated before, the bold is Beetlejuice, the italics is Lydia. It is meant to reflect their thoughts in this scene and chapter in general, it is meant to be read both as a conversation and as disconnected thoughts they are separately having. Do you ever have such good emotional development that you psychically write a poem with your bestie?

- “Just for a moment, your life could be just what you wanted.” … “Just for once, just for a moment.” - this is a reference to the song “Just for Once” from “Nerdy Prudes Must Die”, because that song goes SO HARD and is very thematically relevant here.

- “You give your all, and you get so much given back.” - this is a reference to “When He Sees Me” from “Waitress”, because, again, it goes so hard and is so relevant.

- “At the end of everything, hold on to anything.” - This is a reference to “Night in the Woods”. I’ve said it before, Beetlejuice and Mae Borowski have a lot in common.

- “The things you do for love come back to you one by one.” - this is a reference to “Love Love Love” by The Mountain Goats. It is one of the gentler songs on the LoopJuice playlists, and reflects more feelings of acceptance and uneasy peace.

- “… it burns out bright and blinding like a dying star.” - Hmm. Perhaps this is foreshadowing? Nah, that’d be crazy.

- “No one is gone, the love they felt and received does not fade. It is simply held in those they loved, or redistributed once more.” - Lydia is, of course, talking about her mother. I know it’s obvious, I just wanted to make sure it is highlighted. Since this story is mostly from Beetlejuice’s POV, we don’t get to really see the other characters’ emotional developments clearly, so I try to highlight them as often as I can.

- “She.. understood? I know less about Barbara than I thought.” - Barbara lore hints! Put a pin in this.

- All the little reasons for Beetlejuice to stick around - it’s one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received. Make it to your next sunset, make it to this new movie premiere. You have to taste this new food, see this sight. Start with little things, little reasons to stick around and enjoy life.

- “(Lydia felt like perhaps she shouldn’t be seeing this.)” … “I definitely feel like I shouldn’t be here for this.” - you ever witness your ghost parents and your demon brother having a romantically charged moment? Lydia certainly wishes she didn’t.

- “Oh! Don’t forget all the skirts and dresses I wanted to go through with you in the basement!” - I PROMISE WE WILL GET SKIRT AND DRESS FITS FOR BEEJ LATER

- “… will you?” ... “Will I what?” … “Give yourself a chance. Stick around.” - this is another reference to Stephen King’s “Laurie”. I love it to bits.

- “Well, except for his tail. It was quivering. (Lydia had only seen it do that a handful of times, when Beetlejuice was really excited, like when he was waiting to leap out at an unsuspecting Mormon knocking at the door.)” - sometimes, when cats are very excited, their tails quiver like this! It happens when they’re playful, like about to chomp on the arm of a door-to-door solicitor, or when they’re very happy, like when they receive a little forehead kiss.

- “Barbara and Adam exchanged a look then. They seemed… amused, excited, and - eugh. Those three better sort that shit out soon. It’s basically torture to have to witness it.” - Lydia is with y’all. Do not worry.

- “… I’m not.. the most graceful with exits, you guys know this-” - this is another reference to the failed smoke bomb trick he does in the show!

- “Thank you, love you too, kiddo.” - Adam sounds a little dismissive here because he is concentrating, but Lydia knows that!

- “Adam is switching on the “electric blanket”, Barbara is making some sort of joke as she once more plants a kiss on his forehead. He thinks he hears the word ‘hot’.” - Beetlejuice has no idea what some things are, including electric blankets. He is so lost in the sauce he didn’t hear Barbara call him hot.

- “Who could ever really want you? You wear out your purpose eventually. You overstay your welcome. Sharp, sudden pain washes over him from the old scar in his side. Honestly, Betelgeuse, I don’t know why I’m disappointed. Everyone knows how pathetic you are.” - Callback! And more dialogue/context to this hinted scene. Maybe we will see more of it later!

- “His heart, his own personal heart is broken over and over and over again.” - yet another “Asteroid City” reference! Also reflects a bit how I feel writing at times.

- “He has been emptied out. He is so tired, so drained. His whole body aches, and his mind still thrums.” - All my burnt out besties say… eughhhhh…. Emotional conversations are super draining!

- “It isn’t the start of something. Isn’t it? It isn’t. It isn’t.” - What’s that? By god, it’s “Asteroid City” once again! The context of this scene is two characters discussing whether or not they’re at the start of a new relationship, like how Beej is arguing about the same thing with himself.

- “You are a fox being allowed to stay in the henhouse.” - in a way, he still views himself as an intruder, as something harmful. It takes a while to get rid of harmful thinking, even after coming to the realization that it’s wrong.

- “The sword still swings. The thread is thin.” - another sword of Damocles shout out!

- “The perfect visage of a reformed villain, of a tamed demon.” - He feels a pressure to be good right away, to fit the stereotype of a reformed villain. A lot of those characters are depicted in unrealistic ways! Except Zuko. Zuko is perfect.

- “Don’t be too much. Heavy is the cost.” - this is a partial reference to “Personal” by Stars!

- “Parts of you are already gone.” - This is a partial reference to “Please Eat” by Nichole Dollanganger.

- “If you are not a jester, you are The Fool. Wear the bells well.” - The Fool is capitalized because he is specifically thinking of the tarot card. Also, Fizzaroli reference! That little guy is a strong contender for favorite Alex Brightman character.

- “It’s like they said; don’t stop dancing until the curtain’s down.” - Yet another “BoJack Horseman” reference, and a very poignant one! Beej is, in his mind, a performer on a stage, and he cannot let the audience see him falter.

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job Post 303: The Pink Wave, p1

Okay, first off, I am not going to tell you how I voted. I don’t even really want you knowing what state I’m from. No, I’m not from California, where a reality TV star had surged into politics, or Texas, where a dental hygienist with a massive rack was looking to unseat the long-time male incumbent and ride the new wave of female pride into office. Shit like that was apparently happening all over the place. But I can tell you that I did vote and that we here in my midwestern district also had choices from both traditional parties and the New Women’s Party, all up and down the ballot. From U.S. President to City Comptroller, every office had someone from the NWP looking to unseat the incumbent. Or, in some cases, the incumbent had switched parties and was running under their new flag, with a new platform. Women, all of them, of course.

I hadn’t paid too much attention to polls - they don’t know what they’re talking about, most of the time - but I did know that this new female-led third party actually kinda sorta sounded like the real deal, and might shake things up a bit, at least locally. The girls at the office were all certainly pushing for their candidates, including Maura Weisman, a gal from our state that women wanted to send to Washington, to Congress. Olivia was working with her as a consultant, my ex-wife Sheryl had become involved in the campaign, and I do have to admit I checked the box for her. I mean, I did feel a little bit of loyalty, still, to Sheryl. And Maura, at the last press conference I’d flipped though on my new TV, cut a striking profile in a blouse. It actually gave me a little submissive thrill, standing on the booth in my top-big scrubs, checking her box, knowing I was doing it for the tits and maybe helping put them in power. Maura, Olivia, Sheryl. Tits. 

Was there something wrong with me? You have no idea. Well, I dunno. Maybe you’re starting to figure this out. 

I had wanted to vote during my lunch break, which Olivia had now set as one o’clock. She’d done that, been slowly changing policies and schedules; even though we hadn’t seen her at the office in a while, her influence was being felt. So now I ate at a set time, when she told me to. It ranckled me a bit, yes, but there were bigger things to worry about, I guess.

Whatever the case, I’d planned to run out quickly during the break to the middle school where they’d set up the polls. It was close, just a ten minute walk, and I figured I’d be able to get out and back in time for my first patient of that Tuesday afternoon. But dammit if my stomach didn’t start acting up again just a few hundred yards out, and I had to turn around. Weird. What was it? Anxiety, from being away from a familiar place? That wasn’t like me. Anyway, seeing me return, the girls fawned over me a bit until I (quickly) recovered and they promised they’d drive me to vote later, after clinics were done. Then they’d be taking me out to watch the election results at a new bar down on Haverford Street - and, no, haha they laughed playfully…I didn’t have a choice. Melissa had insisted. I thought back on yesterday, the Monday after the painting escapade. There was the handjob she gave me while I sat suspended in the air on her thigh in her office, and then the one before she sent me up to bed. It made me realize I hadn’t jerked off all day today and I could tell. I was trying to hold on, for some reason, hold out. But it would be nice to, uh, see her again, today. If she was going out for the night, and they’d dropped me an invitation…

Okay by me, I guess..!

=====================================

Patreon!

[myolympusgarden]

i think i have summer depression rn

idk, i think it's probably so well known that during summer you "hang out with all your friends" and "go on a million vacations!!" and stuff like that. and like, not a lot of people can go on vacations in this economy but i think people still have other people to hang out with or spend most of their summer with and like, idk

i visit my sisters a lot, but that still isn't the same of what we used to do. like, we just, WENT to washington D.C. or to california

but it's really hard rn bc two of my sisters have kids and my third sister doesnt rlly have the ability to go a lot of places with just "us"

can't ask my one friend bc she's has other friends that i know she'd very much prefer to hang with and also i dont have a car so i cant take her anywhere, other friend is in another state for half the summer and he's also busy being a career man, other other friend i only know because of my first mentioned friend so that'd just be awkward (kinda maybe)

dad and step mom aren't also really options bc my step mom is a career woman (get that bread, girl!! help me pay my tuition!!) and my dad is... my dad (he acts and probably feels 20 years older his age, it's the depression that he doesn't want to treat)

idk, just wanna feel like a college kid during summer instead of a wage slave who learns art sometimes

[emlovesstates]

Just Montana!!

Trigger warning this is a very dark song

I'm not gonna change all the lyrics so let's just say it's gender swap and California stays the same gender

I would also like to say you probably should watch the video above to know what's kind of what's going on:

——-

Oregon: i'm so glad to joining the literature club

Cali: Hey, I never agreed to join...

Montana: Oh wow, Oregon! Who's your

friend?

Oregon: He's our club's newest member!

Cali: That's...not set in stone..

Oregon: this is Montana, Washington and Nevada and you already know me!

Montana:Welcome to our meeting!

Washington:Are you into reading?

Oregon:No need for being coy!

Montana:We'll improve your uptake!

Nevada:Have a friggin' cupcake and must you bring a boy?

Montana:Time to write some poems!

Montana:Don't be scared to show 'em! The festival's days away!

Nevada:You could help with baking!

Washington:Or with banner making!

Oregon:And I'll walk home alone today

Oregon:Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more How could he love a simple girl next door?

I'm just not the type he's looking for!

Montana:Hey, Oregon, you doing okay?

Oregon,I'm having a difficult day

Montana: I'd say! You seem pretty lonely!

Cali:I wish I could make her grin

All she wants are things back the way they've been

Oregon:She's depressed and stressed and she's Feeling blue, so I don't want Oregon hanging around you!

Just Montana, just Montana, just Montana, just Montana

Just Montana, just Montana , just, just Montana , just Montana

Nevada:Manga is my passion, don't you dare be bashin'!

Nevada:The writing's got finesse!

Nevada:Maybe you should borrow these until tomorrow

Nevada:Were you looking up my dress?

Montana:Let's go read a story!

Cali:What about Oregon?

Montana:Let's talk about me instead!

Montana:I've been learning piano!

And I sing soprano! And I can't get you out of my head!

Washington:Can't look away, can't help but blush

Washington:Where did I get this overwhelming crush?

Washington:It's sharp as a knife and twice the rush!

Nevada:Yo!

Nevada:There's something I think you should know! I've never seen Nevada:so-

Washington:Sane and chill and still kinda sweaty

Washington:And I don't mind cutting to the chase

Washington:I'm in love with you and you're gorgeous face!

Montana::That's a sentiment I can't allow!

Montana:So my dear friend Washington is getting the point now!

Just Montana , just Montana , just Montana , just Montana

Just Montana , just Montana , just Montana , just, just Montana

Montana:Could you have guessed? Maybe you knew? Nevada is next

I'm deleting her too!

Montana:We don't need cupcakes or poems or tea, I only need you to love me!

Montana:Hey, there's no one else in our way

Montana:So look at me and just say, right here, my dear that you love me!

Montana:And we'll sit here 'til the end of time 'cause I've earned this and

Montana:You're finally mine!

Montana:And I'm sorry what you've had to see, but it

Montana:No longer matters, 'cause now you belong to me!

Forever, forever, forever, forever (just Montana ...)

Forever, forever, forever, forever (just Montana ...)

Just Oregon, just Oregon, just Oregon, just Oregon

Just Oregon, just Oregon, just Oregon, just Oregon

-I hope you enjoyed this

[stayatsam]

just a rant about journalism bc i see a different tweet about it every day

im begging ppl to pls understand how basic journalism works bc 90% of the time ppl who yell about article titles of like “California woman cures cancer” and go “HER NAME ISNT “WOMAN,” ITS SARAH. (5000+likes on this quote retweet)

like pls pls pls AP style dictates that unless you are a well known figure like say, joe biden, you need to use a descriptor as a title or else people wont click. No one will rlly care of an article of “Samuel Bradley spotted in Brine Pool,” instead itd be something more of “North Carolina Man Spotted in Brine Pool” which will draw in a reader from a variety of areas like: People from North Carolina, Americans (if its an American journal), Scientists (study brine pools), etc.

also, i see the argument from ppl on twitter that maybe start the article with the name like “Sarah Bates, Scientist from California Cures Cancer”. but thats too long, AP style and journalism is about short and sweet headlines. by the time youre through the words “sarah bates” most people will be too mentally tired to read the rest

this is THE first thing you learn in any communications field.

95% of the time, the figure’s name will be in the first sentence of the article. “Scientist Sarah Bates cures lung cancer using a variety of new techniques including....” will probably be the first sentence. im rambling but like yes there is nuance. something like a conservative or far right article from the daily stormer will not do this, but things like the NYT, washington post, or LiveScience will probably follow general AP style. AP style is made specifically to draw people in, but you can tell people dont read the article when under the tweet are comments like “whats her name though!” u just have to click on the article pls...

and im not blaming ppl for being mad, i can see why the first thing a more progressive reader would be like is “well what’s her name!” but that’s also, exactly whats supposed to happen. youre supposed to be like “WHO is this california woman, im going to click on the article and find out more!” except for some reason now theres this reacharound effect of people not wanting to click on the article to find out why  and idk maybe its because i work for a university newspaper and am interested in scientific journalism that i get kinda peeved at this thing but whos to say

[freebooter4ever]

ive been considering my options, and started looking into moving - not all the way back to washington (where admittedly a little shack house at the base of mt rainier somewhere is sounding better and better)(but if i left california now i dont think i'd ever return and even if imag*n**ring is no longer in glendale im still clinging to the notion that being here still means something) - but somewhere in the more 'rural' areas of socal (if desert can be considered rural?)

My friend here who owns the house on the brush covered hill in the city also has a cabin up in big bear so im imagining something like that. Somewhere to hole up in for a year or so to just escape everything for a while. I can work remotely, as long as i have internet, and rent is certainly cheaper outside the city. And right now just disappearing for a while seems like a relief when i feel like i keep hitting walls and rejection from all corners even people i thought were friends. And the one friend - parent like - figure i have here, i am clinging harder and harder to and i am terrified of the day i push them over the edge and they stop talking to me too. Hence hiding until i feel confident people are no longer sick of me.

But then i think about how i very nearly went crazy house sitting in the artist's house alone on the canyon ridge for two months straight (and called nick way too many times to stomach it)...and i dont know if i could do it. Live alone in the middle of nowhere. Nick did it - moved to the canadian wilderness after a traumatic period in his life. Maybe a part of me wants to try just to prove that i can. Cause for all our similarities that was our fatal flaw - his introversion and my constant tendency to cling to people. He could - and did - pack up and leave at a moments notice, move to a new city, and start over again fresh. I kinda can too, its why i dont own any furniture and anything i want to keep i make sure it can fit in my little car. But instead of cutting ties i hold onto people until i suffocate them.

But thats why i worry i wouldn't be able to actually handle living hours away from anyone i know - no matter how appealing it might sound as a solution to the emotions dogpiling onto my back these past two years. If there was one theme between nick and i the entire time we were together it was always me going out - dancing, music, art events, parties - and asking him to go with me and him always saying no - he'd rather stay in rather be alone. And its not that i minded going out alone - i was used to it and there was always naeem hanging around events and the burgh was small enough i was bound to see someone anyone i recognized. It was the realization that what attracted me to a certain type of personality was almost incompatible with my own. Nick had all the charm and charisma and magneticism i so admired and which i never had any of...yet i was the one who liked people, i liked being around people. And he really didn't. And i guess i never really understood having this type of urge to cut off all ties, disappear, leave without a goodbye and without looking back till now. There's a lot of shame involved in my case.

So I'm looking through ads for weird secluded woodsy cabins and wondering if i would be able to survive a year disconnected except by internet, or if maybe i doubt that i could and that maybe i should be able to - learn to. at least once. to understand better? and maybe i should try now while it seems possible.

anyway im also pretty sure the pandemic has regressed me back to like...middle school levels of social anxiety because im terrified of everyone including any of you guys on here reading this - if i stop messaging you there is a good chance ive convinced myself that you hate me, im sorry in advance. I asked my coworker to lunch the other day and he said no and i havent been brave enough to ask again cause now im certain he's finally realized what a non-artist loser i am and its more productive to work through lunch anyway right? \o/

[jacepens]

1: HamilTurn(you can differentiate if needed) or MCU, 2: Washette, 3: Anna Strong

And generally a fandom list would be nice to know what to pick from ;) (Love you♡)

You said HamilTurn or MCU and I say both, I'm going to try my best haha. But anyway, thank you!:) Apologies in advance if this gets rambly, but that's the point of this right? Anyway, for ease of scrolling sake, I'll probably put a cut if this gets long but don't worry, it's just me talking a whole bunch lol. Ok, thank you again!! <3 (love you too!)

1. Hamilton/Turn (fandom)

Favorite character: I have to say Lafayette for both. Oh and Mary

Least favorite character: I have no real reason behind this so sorry but Burr, and Simcoe for many reasons

5 favorite ships: washette, lams, hamliza, benwash, whamilton

Character I find most attractive: ...all. But I have to say overall Brian Wiles as Lafayette. That face just…🥺

Character I would marry: Mary Woodhull or Eliza

Character I would be best friends with: you know I'm not sure, but in an ideal world Lafayette (both versions) or Ben but I feel like we wouldn't be best friends. But also everyone, is that an option? Even some of the "villains" would have good stories to tell

A random thought: I feel like most people in the fandom now are so new (they joined in with the movie release!) and unaware of the uh atrocities of back in the day. And y'all are lucky, but those of us who know. Know. (yes, I was unbearable but that's ok because I was having fun, and despite what I just said: have fun in your fandoms even if you're "unbearable", just keep it welcome to all and enjoy the enthusiasm you have for it:))

An unpopular opinion: Oh boy. Maybe stop making quick judgments about people based on what they write/who they ship? There is a line, but I've genuinely never seen it crossed by anyone at least openly sooo just let people have fun? And don't say anything about something? Unless it's actually harmful but even then, keep it to a dm or something and have an open discussion. Just let people vibe, please? Especially younger fans. Just, I’ve seen a weird amount of negativity towards them. They’re kids having fun, we all used to be like that so please, be kind and patient. They’ll learn if they make a mistake. Ok? Ok cool:) (maybe not unpopular but still I wanted to say it)

My canon OTP: Am I allowed to say lams?

My non-canon OTP: washette, wow, who would've guessed? xD

Most badass character: Mary my beloved

Most epic villain: Robert Rogers hands down

Pairing I am not a fan of: no one murder me, but in general I'm just not a fan of jamilton. also whatever was the deal with Anna and Abe

Characters I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): um. Where to begin? Honestly I think every woman in Turn at one point or another, except perhaps Peggy in my opinion. Oh but especially Anna. Also Simcoe. With Hamilton, probably again everyone at some point, but the way Angelica was written just feels so overwhelmingly fictional it bugs me. (But at least Hamilton had some genuine relationships between women, not great but still)

Favorite friendship(s): Ben and Caleb, Washington and Lafayette (what?? yes, you fools. lol). It may sound a tad ~cringey~ but I generally like Hamilton's vibe with the boys, maybe it's just the gender envy, but it's kinda cute and fun.

Character I most identify with: well jeez, I won't lie but Washington. In both versions, except god knows I could never be that chill. Also a dash of Laurens.

Character I wish I could be: wow what a loaded question ummm. I don't want to be like him, but I want to be like in his position so Hamilton lol. Playing an active role but I know personally I am not cut out for a battlefield, so a desk suits me well.

2. MCU (fandom-that I am so out of date from, please take all of this with a grain of salt)

Favorite character: so when I was younger it was Tony Stark but now it’s definitely Wanda and T’challa

Least favorite character: ummm. I genuinely couldn’t tell you, I’m very out of date

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): wandavision, …ngl I can’t think of anymore, I honestly never shipped many and wandavision was like the only couple I remember really liking. Oh, I don’t know them but Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie

Character I find most attractive: embarrassing confession time, Loki was my first bad celebrity crush. Wanda now and Shuri is cute. Also Sylvie

Character I would marry: if I could, Wanda 

Character I would be best friends with: Vision and Peter Parker

A random thought: y’all it’s been so long since I’ve touched MCU I should catch up/refresh shouldn’t I?

An unpopular opinion: I don���t know if this is an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. Personally, I really don’t like the movie Civil War, I think it’s what sorta made me disinterested in mcu. It’s been years since I’ve watched it so maybe I would have a completely different opinion if I saw it today, but at the time it just felt so...wrong? And childish? I literally don’t even remember why they were fighting or how that movie even ended (I feel like it just wasn’t satisfying??) but I think also, as a kid or teen watching that, it reminded me sooo much of the dumb drama that, you know, kids get into. I mean, getting your friends on someone’s side like that?? Like, I know they were mad but- but there are other ways of dealing with emotions??? And involving everyone's friends too? So yeah, it just felt off to me at the time, and looking back now, from what I remember, it just frustrated me. Especially as a kid who deals with dumb drama like that all the time, kids would want to see a better example especially from adult superheroes or at least not be reminded of the bs they have to go through sometimes. But, rant over, that’s all just my opinion:) 

My canon OTP: wandavision

My non-canon OTP: ummm. I guess just Loki/Mobius and/or Sylvie lol

Most badass character: I have to say Natasha but actually there are many

Most epic villain: when I was younger I liked that Ultron was voiced by Robert California from the Office lol

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t know if it’s popular but I never liked Tony and Pepper. What happened with her?

Characters I feel the writers screwed up: I guess I’ll say Thor because I just felt such a weird difference in his personality that did not make sense to me

Favorite friendship: Wanda and Pietro!! Honestly I think a lot, there were a lot of good friendships but I can’t think of which ones are my favorite

Character I most identify with: ummmmmm. 

Character I wish I could be: My gut says Thor

3. Washette (ship-bless you<3 get ready for rambles oh no)

When I started shipping them: So I first had the thought in 7th grade while my history teacher was talking about them and my little brain went: haha that’s pretty gay. (teacher keeps talking about them) wait a fucking minute, that is pretty gay! But it wasn’t until I got sucked into Hamilton that I really started actively shipping them by reading fics and what not, but something about them became an instant favorite. And later (little personal story time) I pretty much completely stopped reading fic and being active in fandom for years and actually, when I got my first panic attack that - no joke - lasted for 5 hours, for some reason my brain (as it’s decaying lol) said I want to go and reread all my favorite washette fics and also do what I was I always too scared to do. Write!! So that night I binged the fics and found myself falling in love again, feeling all the old passion I had for them again, and the next night (still very shaken) I wrote an outline of a good ol washette confession + kiss that was extremely thoughtful and good, and honestly, I have not actually used that outline yet! Maybe I’m saving it. But yeah, this is a long answer, but I have a weird amount of attachment to them and this ship, I wish I knew why too. <3 

My thoughts: so many. Too many. First of all, I love that I have so many versions of them in my mind, right? When I started writing, I had never watched Turn but then I did and then it was like: hell yeah, another washette set. At this point, my brain has created it’s own unique version of them but it’s like, they’re so versatile! That’s one neat thing about this fandom as a whole, we get more than one character and personality and that’s just fun right?! More specifically on washette I mean, they’re just so sweet. Historically, their relationship is unique and cute, and you’d have to be a fool to think that to Washington Lafayette was just another friend. Even strictly platonically, it was something special and it’s so obvious I just love them. Ok. Enough thoughts for now <3

What makes me happy about them: the loooove, the comfort they found in each other, the fact that like every person at the time documenting them knew and understood they were special to each other like, they were just that in love. 

What makes me sad about them: oh so much that I try to ignore lol. There is the one year when Lafayette went to France and all his letters to Wash are like: “I have not received one letter from you, but it’s ok, I love you and I know you love me too :)” WHO WAS NOT DELIVERING THESE LETTERS, I HAVE NAMES, NOW I WANT ANSWERS. Anyway, also just most things that happened when Laf went back to France. And then when he visited America in 1824 and visited Washington’s grave. Yeah. ow. (also, you know what, I have done too much research on this event. lmk if you would like a post)

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: Generally, I’m not annoyed by much in fanfic at least with them and what I’ve seen. I’m still nostalgic for the old school nonbinary Laf fics, so it ain’t those. Literally maybe it’s because I’m starved for content but I can’t really think of anything, I love it all.

Things I look for in fanfic: back to the whole starved for content thing, I am a library of washette fics but I think if I was to pick a certain thing that I would love it’s just um fluff? And honesty, if that makes sense. Love confessions are very good as well. Canon era, please :) pining but not too much that it hurts me lol

My wishlist: literally all my wips. If I could whisk them into existence I could die happy and knowing I have put a variety of washette content in the world. Something else though, more fics :’) I love writing but sometimes I want to curl up with a cozy, new washette fic like a cup of hot chocolate and be surprised and learn something new and just..yeah:)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: what. Ok but actually, Martha and Adrienne because they are both honestly perfect for them and I love them too (I’m going to be biased, especially Adrienne)

My happily ever after for them: Can Lafayette just move the family to America? But also, it’s sad, but like I know Laf would be sad in America while France suffers. So...maybe a world where things in France go better and Lafayette gets to visit Washington more often and bring the family!! (Washington visit France too??)

4. Anna Strong (character)

How I feel about this character: I like her! She’s fun and…strong (oops lol) and she’s made some mistakes sure, but I feel like she did her best to learn from them and move on

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly, I know they didn’t have a lot of interaction in the show but Anna/Mary has potential. And Anna/Edmund

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and Ben and Caleb

My unpopular opinion about this character: I really can’t think of anything unpopular

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in general, her having more screen time with less men you know? I mean like one-on-one kind of scenes. Also I would’ve liked to see at least her and Selah talk. Like, really talk. They never really did that, right? I just have so many questions about them

Favorite friendship for this character: Anna and Ben

My crossover ship: I have no idea

And well, I know it’s been a few days but for a fandom list, I’m just a weeb lol but here

Octopath Traveler (my beloved)

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Star Wars

Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812

Persona 4

Zelda (to a point)

Pokémon

What We Do in the Shadows

Sailor Moon

Literally anything historical

Ok!! I tried to add a lot because I’m not sure what you might know or not haha. But thank you again!! I had fun <3

[stxrrywildflower]

out of the old (2)

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - you think about leaving the bau while the team focuses on trying to get you back

warning - cursing, slight smut but not really

series masterlist

after your mom opened the door and you greeted her, you were pulled into a tight hug. your dad came down the stairs next, also hugging you.

your sister and brother-in-law and brother and sister-in-law were next. you had greeted all of them before speaking up.

“is everyone home?” you asked, shocked that your entire were all home.

“first week of surfing season sis, none of us wanted to miss it,” your brother spoke as he came up beside you, ruffling your hair. being the youngest, you were used to it.

at that moment, your sister noticed that you didn’t exactly look okay. plus the fact that with your job you didn’t get to visit much, it was suspicious that you showed up with no warning and a suitcase. “mom, dad, would you mind giving us a moment?” your sister asked. your parents moved into the kitchen to make a cup of tea while everyone else moved into the living room. you collapsed on your couch and tossed your badge onto the table. it had become uncomfortable in your pocket. you sat criss-crossed and looked around the room.

your brother and his wife took the loveseat while your sister sat next to you and your brother-in-law was on the floor. “so what’s going on?”

you took a deep breath. “do you remember the name erin strauss?” you first asked. after seeing nods from everyone in the room, you continued. “she has made work horrible. she told me in not good enough to be in the fbi. plus, after this last case, she said i would be suspended next time i made a mistake. i just kinda snapped and asked my boss for a resignation form. he convinced me to take a few days off before i made my decision. so i came out here,” you revealed.

the room was silent for a moment before your brother-in-law mumbled ‘that bitch!’ under his breath causing everyone to laugh. that made you smile and cheer up slightly. then your brother spoke up, “what about spencer?” you pressed your lips together at the mention of your boyfriend.

“i left him a note at my apartment. everyone is still at work so he hasn’t seen it yet,” you spoke as you looked at the time on your phone, mentally calculating the time difference.

you rubbed your head slightly, not really wanting to think about the situation anymore. your sister-in-law noticed this and stood up. “well it’s still pretty early in the day. why doesn’t everyone go get changed and we’ll head down to the beach,” she suggested.

everyone quickly agreed to that and rushed upstairs to the rooms they were staying in. you loved your childhood room. your parents had gone through and painted it grey as well as keeping the minimalist layout you always had. and then there was a view.

you were incredibly fortunate that your parents had steady jobs and been able to purchase a beachfront house. you and your siblings were practically raised on the beach. your room had overlooked the ocean. you spent a few moments looking out the window before going to get changed.

you changed into a swimsuit and grabbed an old backpack, filling it with necessary things for the beach. after that, you grabbed your wetsuit which was hanging on a hook. your brother reappeared a few moments later holding your surf board. you took that, met up with your siblings, and went walking to the beach.

____

on the other side of the country, the bau team had a tough time focusing on their work. as soon as the clock struck five, spencer was in the elevator and in his car, driving to your apartment.

once inside, he had a spare key, he noticed a note sitting on the table. spencer delicately opened it and read the message you wrote. he smiled at your words before pulling out his phone to text you.

y/n,

just saw your message. i love you so much sweetheart. take all the time you need.

with that, he took the note and left your apartment, driving to his own with the intent of getting ready to meet the team later. at 6:30 he left his apartment and began his drive to rossi’s.

after arriving at 7 on the dot, spencer noticed that almost everyone had already arrived. however, a car pulled in behind reid. out came derek and garcia who waved slightly at spencer. the three walked up to the front door of the large house. derek quickly knocked on the door and it opened a few moments later to reveal rossi who ushered the group in. after walking into the kitchen and receiving a drink, spencer sat down at the table with his team.

“first off, i need to stress that what we talk about doesn’t leave this room. it sounds extreme but it’s for the best,” hotch stated. 

“as some of you know, strauss has been extremely out of line with y/n. after the last case, strauss told y/n that she does not deserve to be in the fbi and is not a good enough profiler to be on the team. next time she makes a mistake, no matter how big or small, she will be suspended. after telling me this earlier today, y/n requested a resignation form,” hotch revealed. 

“so strauss is bullying y/n into quitting?” emily asked and scoffed when hotch nodded.

“i convinced her to take the rest of the week off and give me her final decision on monday. i haven’t heard anything from her and currently have no idea where she is.”

this time spencer spoke up, “i went to her apartment after work. she left me a note saying she’s okay and just needs some time to clear her head.”

hotch turned to garcia who had her laptop open. “can you track her cellphone?” garcia chuckled and made a remark before typing. after a few moments, she spun her computer around to reveal a map of california. there was a little red marker on the coast of san diego.

“that’s her parents house. i guess she went home. are there any security cameras? i know she said she was okay but i just want to see it in person,” spencer asked. this time it took garcia a minute but when the screen was shown again, it was of a security camera of the sidewalk and the houses on the street. it was taken a few hours ago but it was still better than nothing.

walking down the street was you along with four other people. you had your wetsuit unzipped and the top part was down around your waist, revealing your swimsuit top. your surfboard was tucked under your arm as you laughed at something one of the other people in your group said. the team noticed how happy and carefree you looked in the short time you had been away from work.

“who’s she with?” j.j. asked.

spencer leaned closer to the screen and narrowed his eyes. “that’s her sister, brother, sister-in-law, and then her brother-in-law,” he explained. the team nodded, happy with the results and garcia exited the screen.

“now that we know she’s safe, what are we going to do about strauss?” derek asked. hotch glanced at rossi. “there’s only one thing to do but it is going to take a lot of effort on our side and potentially affect the team,” rossi spoke.

“we would need to file a harassment charge against strauss which would then go to her higher ups at the fbi,” hotch explained. the team looked at each other. to go to strauss’s higher ups could be risky.

“before we do anything, i need to know if you are all in. i have faith that we could put a case together and get y/n back but it’s going to talk a lot of effort,” hotch added. just as the team was about to respond, everyone’s phones buzzed. surprisingly, it was a text from you.

i know you have garcia tracking me. i’ll call on friday at 9, your time

the team was satisfied with your text and set their phones down. for the next hour or so, the team went over different security footage garcia obtained from the bau building in an effort to put a good case together.

____

on friday at six, nine washington d.c. time, you logged onto your laptop. after clicking on dial for garcia’s computer, you sat back in your seat. a few moments went by before the teams faces appeared, all on the same screen.

from the other side, spencer took in your appearance. you already looked more tan, your hair was curly from the salt water and you looked a lot happier.

“hi guys,” you greeted softly. after seeing the teams smiles, emily spoke up, “y/n! how are you?” you thought about that for a moment before responding.

“i feel a lot better. i think being home and being in the sun without having to really worry about anything or anyone is doing me good,” you smiled. you then observed the team looking around at each other. “what’s going on? i already know you tracked me so you might as well tell me.”

hotch pressed his lips together. “we have enough evidence to file a harassment charge against strauss. that way, you can return and her position will most likely be altered.”

“you what?” you spoke, voice dangerously low.

“y/n we can get strauss out of the fbi for good,” morgan spoke up. you rubbed the bridge of your nose with your hand. “why would you do that. this is compromising all of your positions. at this point i really don’t even know if i want to return, and strauss isn’t the only reason,” you revealed.

“we want you back at the fbi. like i said, strauss can be removed from her position and you don’t have to deal with her anymore,” morgan responded. you pressed your lips together. “don’t,” was all you said. j.j. looked at her team before responding, “y/n we need you. we’re just trying to help.”

just as j.j. finished saying those words, you snapped. “maybe i don’t want your help, okay? i’m really happy with my family. i really don’t know if i want to return for multiple reasons. please, just leave me alone. i don’t want or need your help,” you pleaded before shutting your screen, thus ending the call.

you stood up and began to move out of your room, pushing past your various family members who were lingering in the hallway and in the other rooms in the house. once making it to the back door, you stepped out and began walking the twenty feet it took you to get to the beach.

once reaching the sand, you sat down, pulling your knees up to your chest. you looked out at the ocean, feeling a sense of calm from it. you couldn’t believe that your team wanted to put a case against strauss. it would put their positions in jeopardy and for what? you didn’t even know if you wanted to go back to d.c. plus you were sure strauss could manipulate the case somehow.

the more you thought about it, the more you realized how much you missed your family and your love for san diego. you were sure that if you requested a transfer to one of the offices on the west coast, closer to home, strauss would be happy to write you a reference letter. she would be overjoyed that her least favorite agent was finally gone.

constant thoughts and scenarios swirled in your head. you leaned back into the sand, now looking at the sky. the tears formed in your eyes and with the positon you were in, they began to leak out, going directly into the sand. you had no idea what to do.

the team was obviously a little shell shocked at your response. hotch and rossi looked at each other, unsure of what to do. garcia was close to tears. j.j., morgan, and emily noticed the youngest agent stand up, grab his bag, and put on his coat.

“where you going spencer?” emily asked.

“san diego,” was all spencer responded before he handed her his gun and moved out the door. once reaching his car, he pulled up an airlines website and booked the first flight to san diego, thankful that he had a go bag in his car.

you had stayed on the beach until close to 11 that night. you were lucky that you remembered to bring a sweatshirt which kept you warm as the temperatures dropped. being on the beach with no one to bother you really calmed you down and left you time to think.

after walking back up to your house, you noticed that your parents were already asleep in their rooms but your brother and sister were sitting at the tv. your brother-in-law and sister-in-law were most likely upstairs. they offered you smiles.

“hey baby sis, how are you feeling?” your brother asked.

“a lot better. still have no idea what i’m going to do with the news i received from my team earlier. it’s confidential before you ask. but i think being on the beach gave my time to think,” you explained. your siblings were content with that answer and went back to watching tv.

your brother had gone to his room around midnight and your sister about thirty minutes after that. you kept the tv on, watching a random documentary that mad managed to capiture your mind for a few hours. when you looked at the clock, it read 2:07. you stood up with the intent to go to bed but a knock on the door stopped you.

‘who the hell is knocking on our door at two in the morning?’ you thought to yourself, mentally cursing yourself for not having your gun on you.

you grabbed the next best thing which happened to be an empty beer bottle your brother had drank. you opened the door slowly, keeping the bottle at your side. however, at the other side of the door was who you’d least expect.

“spencer?” you asked, rubbing your eyes to make sure your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you.

“hey,” he breathed out. you opened the door more, allowing for him to come in. you noticed he was in the clothes he had worn when you were on a call with the team and had a go bag in hand. “how are you?” was all he asked.

you rolled your eyes before you moved past him to throw out the bottle and point to the stairs. “we can talk about this in the morning. you know where my room is. i’ll be up in a second,” you spoke, rubbing at your temple.

after refilling your resuable water bottle, you too made your way up the stairs. the door to the bathroom was shut, you assumed spencer was inside because no one was in your room. you quickly got changed into shorts and a t-shirt before making your way back towards the bathroom.

the door opened after you knocked quietly. inside was spencer, true to your suspicion. he had on shorts and a simple plain grey v-neck. you would be lying if you said he didn’t look good. he had his glasses on and was in the middle of brushing your teeth. he shot you a small smile before you grabbed your own toothbrush.

close to ten minutes later, you were both done. spencer grabbed his clothes and toiletry bag before following you back to your room. he tossed his clothes in the hamper after you motioned for him to do so. you shut off the major light in your room, leaving a night light on in the corner, knowing spencer’s discomfort with the dark.

as you crawled into bed, you turned away from him, keeping your focus on the wall. you knew spencer was laying beside you, staring at the back of your head and waiting for you to turn over but you didn’t just yet.

“i’m really mad at you, you know,” you spoke, breaking the silence.

“i know, i’m sorry,” spencer spoke. the sadness in his voice almost made you cry. “technically i have today and tomorrow to still make me decision,” you informed him.

“what happened to talking about it in the morning?” he teased. with that, you turned over so the two of you were now facing each other. neither made a move towards the other but just looked on. once making eye contact, you noticed his puples dialate. spencer could barely make out your features in the low light but he knew you were trying to hide a smile. he thought you looked gorgeous.

much to his surprise, you moved forward and pressed your lips to his as your hand made your way to his cheek. spencer pulled you closer, arms wrapping around your back as the moment went on. the mint flavor of your toothpaste was still very much there.

you pulled away after needing air but you both didn’t move. you pressed your head deep into spencer’s chest as he adjusted to get more comfortable. “i’m sorry for leaving you,” you mumbled tiredly. spencer placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“try and get some sleep,” was all he responded. you shut you eyes, very content laying with your boyfriend. both of you fell asleep quickly and neither wanted to admit that it was the best sleep you had in awhile.

you woke up the next morning to two things. the sunlight that streamed through your blinds as well as the smell of pancakes from downstairs. you removed yourself from spencer’s grip and sat up as the events of the early morning came back to you. you smiled slightly when you thought about the slight make out session the two of you had. as you looked at the clock on your desk, 9:00 blinked back at you.

then, you turned to spencer who was still very much asleep, curled up in the position the two of you had slept in before you sat up. you moved your hand to brush some of his short hair that had fallen into his face.

“morning,” he mumbled, morning voice shining through. you leaned down close to his lips as his eyes slowly opened. “your morning voice is hot,” you complimented. spencer grinned slightly, slowly sitting up. you got out of bed and stretched, smiling at the sound of your joints cracking.

“i’m going to go brush my teeth and then head downstairs. don’t bother getting changed yet because we’re going to the beach but i’ll see you down in a bit?” you asked your still sleepy boyfriend. he nodded before collapsing back down on the pillow.

after brushing your teeth, you practically bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen. “someone’s happy,” your brother-in-law noted. you simply smiled and shrugged.

“mom and dad at work?” you asked as you sat down at the bar seats and were then met with four nods.

just after you had stood up again, about to ask if you could help your brother cook, the sounds of someone coming downstairs stopped you. before you could turn, spencer had wrapped his arms around your waist and placed a delicate kiss to your cheek.

“spencer? when did you get here?” your sister asked confused. none the less, she moved over to hug your boyfriend hello, as did everyone else in the room.

“around two this morning,” he chucked, accepting a plate of pancakes. your sister smiled at that, mumbling something about no wonder you were in such a peppy mood. after eating and cleaning up, the two of you made your way back upstairs. you made sure to tell everyone that you would be at the beach in an hour or so.

spencer took a seat at your desk chair while you sat on the newly made bed. “y/n,” he started but you stopped him. “can i just say something first, please?” you asked. after he nodded you continued, “i really don’t like that you and the team are risking your jobs for me. i know all of you would be willing to do it but it just doesn’t sit right with me. being out here has also made me realize how much i miss home. i hate to say it but i wish we got my cases out here. just being around my family in the beach brings back feelings i just don’t get in virginia. i don’t know, it sounds stupid.” once finishing your rant, you stood up and looked out the window.

spencer sighed. “i understand love. but this team is a family and we would all do the same if it was for anyone else, you know that. and with the family thing, i’m sure hotch would be open to give you more vacation time,” he suggested. you thought about that for a moment and you turned back to him.

“force me to make a decision tonight or else i’m just going to keep pushing it off. this way i’ll know what i’m going to do and be able to have fun for my last day,” you told him. spencer smirked slightly and stood up, “i have all the power over you? i like that.”

you turned to him, eyes flicking down to his mouth. you felt his lips brush up against yours but just before he could fully kiss you, you whispered, “you wish,” before grabbing your bathing suit and moving towards the bathroom. spencer groaned at your antics before grabbing his own swimsuit and getting changed for the beach.

spencer had sent a quick text in the teams groupchat, without you in it, confirming that you were okay. ‘just woke up. she’s making her decision tonight. going to the beach but i’ll keep you updated,’ he had sent before grabbing his bag and meeting up with you in the hallway.

after a long day at the beach. you and spencer offered to take the outdoor shower and leave the indoor ones open for the others. thankfully, your family had invested in nicer outdoor showers that had actual stalls.

you would never admit to anyone that you and spencer had a pretty intense make out session in the outdoor shower.

spencer finished washing the conditioner out of his hair as you were stripping of your swimsuit and wrapping a towel around you. you hung your bathing suit up on the hook to dry before sending a wink to your boyfriend and heading inside.

you got changed into lounge clothes and laid in bed, spencer followed soon after, a towel around his waist. you tried not to make it obvious that you were staring but spencer had obviously noticed as he was walking out of the room and into the bathroom.

you moved to sit at your desk, opening your laptop to your email to see if you had anything from work. “still checking your work email?” spencer whispered in your ear causing you to jump. you slapped his shoulder playfully before you scooted forward allowing for him to sit behind you. he rested his head on your shoulder as his arms were around your waist.

“i think i want to go back to d.c. but only if strauss does get her position switched or fired. if not, i’m staying here,” you concluded after a few moments of silence. you stood up and paced your room.

“i joined the fbi in the first place because i wanted to help people. with the bau, we help so many people across the country. if i stay here, i’m confined to one city. if hotch thinks he has enough evidence to prosecute strauss, i’m in,” you added. spencer pulled you into a tight hug. “plus a really don’t think i could leave the person who jumped on a plane just to make sure i’m okay.”

spencer smiled at your words and kissed you on the cheek

“i’ll call him now,” he whispered into your ear. you exited the room once again to give him some privacy. you really hoped you were making the right decision with this. during the time spencer had called hotch, you went downstairs and got something to eat. after that, you figured that enough time had passed so you went back to your room. however, the door was still shut but you could hear the endings of the conversation on spencer’s end.

“i know hotch - yeah she was happy to see me - alright i’ll let her know” was all you could hear before the door opened again. thankfully, you made it look like you weren’t listening in. “conversation go well?” you asked as you went to sit on your bed. “yeah, hotch is filing the case tomorrow,” spencer informed you. those words made you rather emotional. spencer noticed as your eyes welled with tears and you bit your lip. “but in better news, hotch said we can leave here early monday morning and go to work in the afternoon.”

spencer noticed your lip quiver as you looked over at him.

“what’s going through your mind sweetheart?” he asked, moving you so that you were practically sitting in his lap with your legs around his waist. “if this works, the woman who has had it out for me ever since i got to d.c. will finally be gone. i don’t have to worry about making small mistakes and being called into her office over noting. it’s just really crazy to think about. it’s almost like it’s all i know,” you replied, placing your head on spencer’s shoulder.

he rubbed circles in your back as the two of you layed there. “we’re going to get her, i’m sure of it.”

_____

the following morning, hotch, as well as the rest of the team who were still in the city, arrived to rossi’s. they would be going over evidence one more time before filing the charge to strauss‘s superiors.

“how’s y/n?” emily asked when hotch walked in, knowing her boss had talked to spencer.

“reid said she’s doing really good. she was happy to see him and from what he told me, she just kinda blurted it out that she wanted to return to the bau”, hotch informed. the team was overjoyed that you had agreed to come back. 

“i still think it’s crazy that he dropped everything to go see her,” derek spoke up. j.j. turned to him, “they love each other, you do crazy things like that when you feel that way,” she replied. derek smirked and shook his head.

garcia pulled out her computer, typed for a minute before showing the team. they had multiple security clips of strauss and her behavior towards you as well as complaints from other employees. they seemed to lessen when you had joined the bau which fuelled the fire that you were her verbal punching bag. “i also came in contact with her superior, they said to send the file over as soon as possible and they would look into it,” hotch informed his team.

garcia compiled the footage and was ready to hit the send button. she looked around at the team who sported nervous but also confident expressions. “ready?” garcia asked timidly. “do it,” emily confirmed. she hit the send button and the team exhaled. now all they could do was wait.

........

tags

@winterscaptain @thicclasanga @reidswords @5sosxplr @nanocoool @nerdgirljen @baby-iyania @baby-i-am-fireproof​ @yourssincerelyj​ @benji-booxx @eternaleviee

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Opportunity Knox and Cameo

We’re treated to something a bit special this episode! No, not the art and animation quality, as that’s…kinda weak this time. Or maybe I should say Brain is drawn and animated kinda nightmarishly in a lot of parts? Well, you’ll see.

No, the special thing about this episode is that it’s written by Tom Minton, the writer at Warner Brothers who was the original inspiration for The Brain! The general idea for Pinky and the Brain as characters and as a show came from Tom Ruegger having an office close by to Tom Minton and Eddie Fitzgerald, two writers and storyboard artists who he would often hear laughing and joking around together but usually couldn’t make out what exactly they were saying. Minton usually spoke low and quietly and was more introverted, while Fitzgerald was much more outgoing and loud…basically already like a cartoon come to life (Eddie actually did exclaim things like ‘Narf’ occasionally in reality, which was an aspect that was added to and exaggerated in Pinky’s character). The fact that these two guys who were viewed as total opposites by their colleagues were good friends and spent so much time working together in secret lead to everyone joking that they were secretly trying to take over the world.

That isn’t to say that Pinky and Brain are 100% cartoon copies of Eddie and Tom—our mouse duo definitely veered off into their own distinct personalities very quickly—but the basic bones of their characters came from these two real life men. That makes me wonder about how surreal it must have been for Tom Minton to write for episodes starring Pinky and the Brain. He only did so four times in Animaniacs (and Eddie Fitzgerald never directly worked on Animaniacs or Pinky and the Brain, to my knowledge).

In any case, let’s move on to the actual episode.

We open to a multitude of bubbling beakers of mysterious liquids and one scientist working alone at night in the Acme Labs. She sneezes a few times, and then exclaims that she’s only a few steps away from curing the common cold.

…Man, Acme Labs is a total shitshow when it comes to their work, aren’t they? In addition to all the blatantly cruel experiments on animals that they do, just look at how lax this scientist is about lab safety. I’ll give her props for at least wearing her lab coat properly and tying her long hair up, which is something most media usually gets wrong. The fact that she’s doing this medical experiment while not wearing gloves or proper eye protection or a mask is very troubling. Not to mention that she’s doing all this while being very sick, if her violent sneezes are anything to go by.

Hmm, that cage is looking suspiciously empty.

Well, well! Looks like our mousey duo is up to something.

“Ahehehehe, oh this is gonna be great, Brain! Narf!”

“Quiet, Pinky!”

OH LORD, SHE JUST CHUGS IT HERSELF! Lady, PLEASE! The fact that this “cure” is piss-coloured only makes it worse.

Sweetie, I think this needs more peer-reviewed, double-blind tests before you can truthfully say that you’ve made a cure for the common cold. You have no proper safety gear on and you’re doing this experiment all alone at night with no one to check up on you.

Oh no. Boys, what are you doing?

So they catapult some powdery substance on her and she goes into a more violent sneezing fit than before. She leaves the room to go “back to the drawing board”, but honestly I’m hoping that she just goes home and isolates herself for a while.

“Success, Pinky!”

“Egad, Brain, what is this stuff?!”

“A new strain of pollen I created myself, Pinky. It causes a temporary but uncontrollable fit of allergic sneezing in man.”

Pinky looks very disturbed by this (although I suppose it doesn’t help that Brain has that very smug and devious look on his face) until Brain says that the effect is temporary. It’s a nice little detail that shows us approximately where Pinky’s lines of morality are. Brain makes his own strain of pollen to cause humans to have severe sneezing fits? That’s amazing but horrifying! Oh, it’s only temporary? Well okay, then. It’s fine if it doesn’t cause any lasting harm.

“No human is immune.”

AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Holy fuck, show, don’t give me a jumpscare like that!

“Do you realize what we will do with this pollen, Pinky?”

“Umm… Open a boutique?”

GAH! I told you to stop doing that! Seriously, what’s up with the way Brain’s draw in this episode?

“Yes, that’s it. We’ll open a boutique and sell ladies’ clothing and pollen.”

“Egad, Brain, what fun! I like this idea, I do! Hehehahahaha!~”

Of course he would. Of course he’d like working in a more domestic setting and selling ladies’ clothing.

…Say, now that I think of it, I think this might be the first time we get a hint as to Pinky’s love of what’s stereotypically thought of as women’s clothing. Hmm.

BONK!

“Focus, Pinky, FOCUS!”

Brain, sweetie, not everyone goes into tunnel-visioned hyperfocus like you do.

“We shall do no less than go to Fort Knox, Kentucky: keeper of the nation’s gold supply. There, we will expose the guards to our pollen…”

Despite the general awkwardness of the animation this episode, I like the way Brain is drawn here from over the shoulder. Very nice work.

Also…”our” pollen? Brain, you made that yourself. I guess this is just another example of Brain subconsciously including Pinky in everything.

“…and while they’re sneezing uncontrollably, we’ll move into the vault and take the gold!”

Brain’s plan blueprints are such a treat. Gold! Gold! Gold!

“For he who controls this nation’s capital, controls the nation!”

Okay, this close-up is a little better.

“Off to Fort Knox!”

“Oh! Wait! But isn’t the nation’s capital in Washington, DC?”

BONK!

“Capital as in money, Pinky!”

Oh come on now, Brain. It was an easy mistake to make. Also “capital” in this instance can mean more than money if you want to get semantic about it.

Brain grabs Pinky’s tail to drag him away again. It’s a wonder that Pinky’s tail isn’t as kinked up and injured as Brain’s is by now.

Ooo, improvised tools time!

“But how are we gonna get to Fort Knox, Brain?”

“We’ll simply borrow one of the lab’s technological resources:”

“The minivan!”

Pinky, are you mildly swooning over Brain acquiring a minivan? I…

This does bring up a point I wanted to make, though. Sometimes fans will question why Pinky and Brain stay at Acme Labs despite being put through so much inhumane and humiliating bullshit. While it’s true that Brain doesn’t much like the experiments he’s subjected to (Pinky is…another story entirely), I’m pretty sure he keeps the labs as his home because it’s incredibly convenient for his world domination plans. These are ACME labs, after all, and regardless of how terrible the experiments are, Acme has access to just about every bit of technology in the Warner Brothers cartoon universe. Brain can find or order whatever parts he needs for his latest world domination plan whenever he wants, and no human bats an eye at mysterious bits and bobs showing up because, well, it’s Acme. Acme is in the business of doing absolutely everything. No matter what daytime tortures Brain goes through, the lab is an incredible asset to him, and he’d be foolish to give that up.

Hello again, Warner siblings! I hope you’re having fun tonight.

That’s an awfully tiny sack of pollen to take for this trip…

“Won’t we get in trouble, Brain?”

“’Get in trouble’? Pinky, we’re going to take over the world!”

I just like the tiny silhouettes in this screencap.

“Besides, we’ll have the van back here by 8 am.”

“Oh! All right, then!”

[Quickly googles how long it would take to drive from Burbank California to Fort Knox]

…Are you sure about that, Brain? Are you really, positively sure?

Oh my goodness, a little winch and pulley system! That’s a little convoluted, but it’s adorable.

“Oi! Nice threads, Brain! But, err, why the disguise?”

“If we are to succeed in our mission, I must pass for an average, non-descript motorist, Pinky.”

I agree, Pinky. Brain always looks good in a suit.

Also he’s on a literal soap box, holy shit.

“So while we’re driving, call me Mr. Perkins.”

A trillby?!? Put it back! Putitbackputitbackputitback!

“Say no more! Brilliant, Brain!”

“Mr. Perkins.”

Oh no, he’s threatening to punch the audience now!

“Ooo, right, right. Narf! Heh, Mr. Per-kins.~”

“Pinky, start your engine!”

So Pinky tugs on a rope tied to the car keys to start the minivan, and I bet we can all already tell that he’s going to be doing most of the hard work for this roadtrip.

“Now depress the brake!”

I half expected a joke here where Pinky would say depressing things to the brake, but that didn’t happen. It’s just as well, I suppose. Pinky’s not usually the type to be mean to anyone or anything.

Instead, he pushes himself into the brake.

This made me curious about how strong real mice are. According to this scientific article, the average mouse can lift approximately 70 g in weight.That’s not a lot compared to us humans, of course, but seeing as the average weight of the common house mouse is 19 g (and common wood mice are on average 23 g), that’s really impressive! Still, for Pinky to be able to depress the brake is quite a feat that’s worlds beyond what the average real-life mouse can do.

Yes, yes, I know. It’s all cartoon logic and physics. That’s not going to stop me from having the headcanon that Pinky and the Brain have both been modified so much by Acme Labs that in addition to becoming sapient and intelligent, they’re basically little mouse superheroes in strength, too.

“Yes! Now I’ll shift the transmission into gear and…you give it the gas!”

Man, Pinky just slams his entire body onto the gas pedal with all his mousey might! You can hear him physically strain against it. Well done, Mr. Paulsen!

“Now Pinky, let us, in the vernacular, ‘take this hog out on the road and see who’s boss’!”

Oh lord, Brain’s on a slight power trip just from being able to drive a vehicle. If he ever does rule over the world one day, I fear he may explode from the sheer ego-high of it.

Anyway, on the way to Fort Knox they get stuck behind a rather slow transport truck. Well, Brain can’t have that! He’s got to get back to the lab by 8 am after all!

“Pinky! Prepare to pass a slow-moving vehicle!”

“Righty-o, Brain!”

Again, Pinky, I’m pretty sure you really aren’t supposed to stick your ass and chest out while saluting. You’re supposed to keep your posture straight.

…What am I saying? Pinky can’t do anything straight.

“Call me Mr. Perkins! Activate left turn indicator now.”

Aww, a little hop!~

Unfortunately it’s the wrong lever.

“…Let’s try that again, Pinky.”

“Narf! Wrong switch.”

He sits down to think and of course he gets it right that way.

Anyone else enjoying a lesson on how to drive from Pinky and the Brain? No? Just me? I mean, I already know how, but this is super cute.

“Exemplary work, Pinky!”

Brain, he just…he just pulled a switch. By accident. The fact that he’s so sincere about complimenting him for this is very cute but also very odd. I guess Brain’s in a good mood tonight.

“But we’re slowing down. Quickly, step on the gas!”

“Gas, check!”

Pinky, no!

Oh lord, he just lets himself fall directly on the gas pedal. You okay there, dude?

“Maintain pedal pressure, Pinky!”

I don’t think he has much of a choice, Brain.

So they get beside the freight truck and the driver of it picks up his CB radio mic.

“Hey, breaker breaker one nine, this here’s Big Red. Eh…what’s your handle, good buddy? Over.”

“The name’s Perkins. MISTER Perkins. Just an average, non-descript motorist.”

Wh—Why is there a CB radio installed in the Acme Lab minivan?

Pinky chooses this moment to lift himself off the gas pedal and then jump back on it in a weirdly showy, semi-acrobatic way. The first screencap has the tip of his tail almost in the shape of a heart, so I had to include it.

Our duo pass by the freight truck. Needless to say, the truck driver is still pretty rattled by his run-in with “Mr. Perkins”.

“I gotta quit eatin’ them double onion chili dogs!…”

Usually people just run with it on this show, but this is one of those rare moments where a human being doesn’t inexplicably fall for one of Brain’s horrible human disguises.

The minivan’s grill looks like teeth here and it’s almost menacing.

Uh oh, Brain’s getting dozy.

“Pinky…I’m in need of some music to keep myself raptly alert. And use the cruise control this time so we don’t lose speed!”

I don’t know why I’m so charmed by Pinky pressing the cruise control button like this, but it’s very cute.

“Cruise control on, Br—aaaerr—umm, Mr. Perkins!”

He is trying his best. :3c

“[yawn] Stellar, Pinky. Now see if you can locate a local radio station frequency.”

“Narf! Wrong knob…”

Smacking the hell out of the right knob make the radio explode into a loud yet incredibly mild generic rock tune. I’m surprised Pinky’s so alarmed. I wonder if Brain—

JEEZUS FUCK! You gotta stop giving me a heart attack with these sudden messed up close-ups of Brain, episode!

“Turn off the radio, Pinky!”

“Heeey! This knob’s loose!”

Aaaand there he goes.

“Oohoo ahaha! What’d’ya know? The lighter works!”

I wonder if Pinky knows what that’s actually for at this point, considering his utter disdain for smoking later in the spin-off?

“The radio, Pinky!”

“Ooo, right. Almost forgot!”

Uh oh.

“Whew. Suddenly I feel downright feverish, I do…”

Pinky has become a Charmander, and he’s not happy about it.

So he’s screaming and shouting his verbal tics all over the place and what’s Brain’s reaction?

“There’s no need for you to entertain me personally, Pinky. I’m quite awake now.”

BRAIN! You wipe that smug smile off your face right now, you little jerk! I know Pinky will be okay because he always is, but still.

One screen wipe later…

“Kentucky, Pinky! We made it!”

“All right, Brain!”

“Mister PERKINS!”

Brain, I think Pinky’s just not into this roleplay tonight. Or it might be your trillby. Lose the damn trillby.

“Fort Knox is mere miles away. Nothing can stop us now!”

Well, looks like you jinxed yourself.

I’ve got no love for cops, but his “what the fuck” expression here is choice.

“Good evening, officer. Was I exceeding the speed limit?”

“By about a hundred miles an hour.”

Oh, is that all? They’d need to be over by, like, a thousand or so miles an hour to make as good of a time as they did getting here.

Maybe this guy is going to arrest them for breaking the laws of time and space.

“I’m sorry, y’see—“

Shining a flashlight directly into your eyes? Yup, this is definitely a cop.

“I’m Mr. Perkins, an average, non-descript—“

“Can I see your license and registration, please?”

And then Pinky immediately interrupts the shakedown with a happy, matter-of-fact “We don’t have any! Zort! :D” and now my mind wanders off into let’s-overanalyze-the-shit-out-of-this-joke-scene territory because… Look at this. A cop pulls over a vehicle from Acme Labs doing about a hundred miles over the speed limit and finds Brain, a mouse in a suit trying to pass as a human driver. Then Pinky, who is dressed in no such disguise because why would Brain ever think of an obviously important detail ever in one of his plans, pops up to say that they don’t have a driver’s license.

…So what does this scene look like at this point from the cop’s perspective? Besides the very rare outlier like the truck driver from before, humans usually take Brain’s word for it that he’s also human, no matter how shoddy his disguise is. There are a few possibilities here, and I honestly can’t decide which is funniest:

1.      The cop can see through Brain’s poor disguise just like the truck driver from earlier can, and knows that these are actually two mice that have stolen a truck and have been speeding down the highway with it.

2.      The cop thinks Brain is a very odd-looking human without a driver’s license who’s been driving down the highway at insane speeds with his loose pet talking mouse by his side.

3.      The cop believes that Brain really is an odd-looking human who has no license and has been wildly speeding down the highway and also there’s an equally odd-looking human man with him who is stark naked for some mysterious reason.

I’ll let you decide which one is the most likely canon scenario as we continue as Brain tries to clear up this scenario.

“If you must know, we are two lab mice out to control the world by seizing its gold assets. But when we assume power, rest assured our budget will result in substantial new funding for law enforcement.”

…

Leave it to Brain to truthfully spell out his global domination intentions for no good reason and then lie his little mousey ass off to try and bribe his way out of going to jail.

Also, again, it’s “when we assume power” and not “when I assume power”. Hmm.

“…Oh.”

“Bwuhyuube… Be--best be on your way, then.”

“Thank you, officer.”

I’d say I was surprised that white privilege extends even to white lab mice here but…that would be a lie.

“Oh man, I do miss them witless teenage speed demons…”

So they finally make it to Fort Knox.

…And I guess the Warner siblings do, too!

The two mice have parked on a hill overlooking their target and gosh Brain, you’re looking extra pudgy here.

“It’s time to make our move, Pinky.”

Judging by the look on his face here, I think Pinky just noticed how thicc Brain’s behind has suddenly gotten.

Nevertheless, they begin their pollen assault on the guards.

Finally, the moment has arrived!

Brain’s head is shaped like a football and is almost as wide as Pinky is tall here, but besides that this is a cool shot.

This bit was also used in the spin-off’s theme for some reason, but now it will forever remind me of the absolute chaotic laughter that erupted when I got some friends to sit down and watch an episode of PatB. The stream decided to stop on this specific shot for buffering and they all just lost it. Most of the reaction was through voice on Discord, but luckily there were some friends using text chat too:

I live for moments like these when we’re streaming shows and movies.

“Egad! This is even better than a Ducktales episode, Brain!”

That’s pretty high praise, Pinky. I love the shadowing done on him here as well.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Wha—I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career? Oof, it’s all too much for me!”

Pinky did…did you see all this gold and immediately begin envisioning yourself using the money to settle down and start a family?!? And so far in this series you aren’t dating anyone and you probably don’t even know anyone besides Brain and…

Okay, listen, I know it’s established later on that Pinky has wishes and daydreams about having a very domestic life, culminating in that one “Somewhere That’s Green” parody fantasy where he and Brain live together like a 50s couple in the Elmyra spin-off but… But…!

Well, you’ll kind of get a family along with your world domination “career” in a few years, Pinky. It’s probably not going to be quite how you envisioned it, though.

“The gold, Pinky! It’s all ours. Let’s move it out!”

Umm…

“One…two…three…and lift!”

I just realized that out of context the poses and faces in this screencap could look, uhh, questionable. But will that stop me from sharing it? No.

“I believe my plan has a…fatal flaw…”

About 27.4 pounds worth of a fatal flaw. You two might have super strength in comparison to other mice, but it looks like you both have a hard limit.

“I am in intense pain, Pinky.”

“Ditto, Brain. Zort!”

Well, okay, I guess it’s good that you are both cartoons, then. You boys should be able to shrug this off pretty quickly, especially Pinky.

OH GOD!

Is this what all those nightmarish close-ups of Brain were preparing me for?!?

“Fear not, Pinky, for the unwieldy atomic weight of gold will not thwart us tomorrow night.”

“Why? What are we doing tomorrow night, Brain?”

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky… Try to take over the world!”

You know, most cartoons would settle for them just being covered in bandages. Not Animaniacs, though. In Animaniacs were have to know that their removal from under the gold bar was so difficult and painful that fur was pulled out and they were left with bare, raw patches of skin. T-thanks, Warner Brothers?

Let’s end with a somewhat longer cameo appearance, as I suspect at this point Tumblr will have another fit if I try to combine two full episodes again.

The very next episode of Animaniacs has a skit called Hercule Yakko, which is a vague parody of Hercule Poirot mysteries. We get a good handful of cameos from the stars of other Animaniacs skits as passengers on a luxury cruise boat on the Nile.

The basic premise is that the Marita, one of the Hip Hippos, awakens in the middle of the night to find her comically large diamond necklace missing. The Warner siblings are a detective team who happen to also be onboard the ship and offer to help the hippo couple find it.

Before you ask, yes, this is the same episode as the infamous “fingerprints” joke.

Eventually the Warner siblings begin to go around knocking on the doors of the other passengers’ rooms to ask questions. They come across Slappy Squirrel first, who knows nothing about the missing diamond and just wants to be left alone to sleep. Then they meet Minerva Mink and, well, you can guess how that went. Then Yakko knocks on the last door.

“YES?”

Smol.

Look at them in their matching lederhosen! That’s absolutely adorable. Bravo to whichever of the mice had the idea for these “disguises”.

“Did you steal a big diamond?”

“No. We are Swiss hikers on holiday.”

Okay so maybe I’ll deduct a few points for wearing lederhosen, which is more associated with Bavaria and Germany, but claiming to be Swiss. Not that people in Switzerland didn’t also wear it, but you’d probably want to make your cover story as unsuspicious as possible, right? And that’s not even going into the idea of wearing a garment made from leather in hot, hot Egypt. These mice must be drenched in sweat…

“Look at me, Brain! I’m Heidi! Yodelehe-NARF!~”

Well at least someone in this duo is trying his best to reference things from Switzerland.

…Brain is the one that fucked up the lederhosen cultural background thing, isn’t he? Goddammit, Brain.

He just bonks the hell outta Pinky and silently slams the door in Yakko’s face.

After briefly talking with Marita, Yakko exclaims that he knows where the diamond is and asks that everyone assemble together in the state room. And so they do!

Aww, they’re sharing a chair because they are so, so tiny. :3c

“You’re probably all wondering why I called you here!”

“To reveal the thief?!?” says everyone in unison.

Minerva, you’re looking kind of weird in that second pic.

“No. It’s because you can’t play charades with three people.”

“That’s it! I’m goin’ back to bed.”

“So am I. I didn’t take the diamond!”

Man, Minerva really got a raw deal in the 90s. She only has two episode skits of her own and makes a few tiny cameos elsewhere, like in this one. I get that she was put on the back-burner as a character because her skits were considered “too suggestive”—and to be honest they were a bit over the top—but there are certainly ways that you can write a character who uses their sex appeal for comedic effect without it being disrespectful. It’s a shame they never tried to tweak the tone of her episodes just a tad.

But anyway, mice!

Brain is looking at Minerva with…worry? Concern? Confusion? Which is a very atypical reaction to Minerva. Gee, I wonder why.

Pinky is Looking Respectfully.

I’m never going to get over how cute they look in these outfits.

“I also am innocent.”

“Umm… I may have done it! I walk in my sleep, you know.”

Pinky, sweetie, I know you’re trying in your own odd little way to help but there’s no way you’d be able to carry a diamond of that size.

BONK!

This is the very last clear shot that the mice are in and it’s not very significant but I liked the angle of it.

Oh, you’re asking who took the diamond? No one did. The diamond was lodged in Marita’s butt fat the entire time. It’s the typical style of “humour” from skits with the Hip Hippos. Now you all know why no one is clamouring for their return in the reboot.

That’s it for this post, though. I should have the next episode that I promised would go with this one up in a day or two.

See you next time, folks, when we go off to the races!

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Hit Or Miss || Morgan & Bex

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @inbextween & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Morgan tries to get to know Bex over a game of Battleship. Explosions may or may not ensue.

CONTAINS: brief references to transphobia

There were a few things that death couldn’t take away from Morgan: love, the view of a January day, and board games. She had never been much of a fan as a kid, they were bulky, hard to pack in a hurry, and as soon as you lost a couple pieces, all that mess became worthless. But at Karen’s house a lifetime ago, the novelty special editions of Monopoly and Life and the varnished wood sets of checkers and parcheesi had seemed like treasures from another world; one where the ground was steady beneath your feet and it never occurred to you that the nice things you loved would fall apart. Today, she ran her fingers over a battered edition of Battleship: Classic (was there a Battleship: passé somewhere?) and brought it down to the table by the window she was bogarting at Board to Death, grinning affectionately at the scuffed pegs and stained ships hiding under the lid. It was the only coffee shop in town that anything to offer besides food she couldn’t taste. Her triple espresso had a soothing bitter taste, but all the icing in the world on the danishes or dipped vegan scones couldn’t bring back her old sense of taste.

She sipped the just-below-boiling mixture and watched the living world shuffle by in their puffy coats and bright scarves. When she saw a nervous looking girl approach the window she smiled, nodding in case it was her. When she entered the cafe, Morgan held out her hand. “Hey, you’re Bex, right?”

The strangest part about being back in White Crest was that it felt so nice. There was something about this place that felt enough like home that Bex almost didn’t altogether mind her overbearing parents controlling her every move. Almost. They’d delighted in the fact that she was being scouted by a professor already, and she’d opted to not mention the part where said professor was gay and also recommended by someone who thought they were a witch. For some reason, Bex trusted Nell’s judgement, and Professor Beck seemed really nice. And, well, Bex couldn’t help but leap at the idea of meeting a real life queer person. Especially a woman. Who was out! And open! Even if she couldn’t really ask her about it today. The concept was novel. And so Bex really wanted this meeting to be good.

Therefore, she kept an excited demeanor about herself as she made her way to Board to Death, trying to push the anxiety away. Put on a smile when she opened the door, and glanced around for Professor Beck, seeing her through the window. She scooted herself over, taking her hand. “Hey! Hi, yes! That’s me! I’m Bex! That makes you Professor Beck, then! Unless you’re not, which would make this very awkward,” she chuckled, then stopped, clearing her throat. “S-sorry. Um, hi, thanks for meeting with me!” Glanced down to look at her refreshments on the table, then back up. “I never really knew Board to Death had food! I’ve only been here a few times. Do you come here a lot?”

“I am Professor Beck, yes, but you can just call me Morgan. Pretty much everyone does.” Morgan took another sip of her espresso and gestured for the girl to sit. It wasn’t every day she could tell someone she’d spoken with online just from their demeanor, but Bex was nearly vibrating out of her skin with anxiety. It was an excited kind of anxious, like her face might hurt from smiling so much, but it still gave Morgan some pause. This was a girl who had wrecked a whole computer lab with just the force of her emotions. Even if she couldn’t accept magic yet, some kind emotional release would probably be good for her. “I don’t come here much, no. Coffee tastes pretty much the same to me anywhere, and at least here it comes with something fun to do. You’ve played Battleship before, right? It’s only one of a couple of two player games I’m familiar with that doesn’t make you think too much.” Grinning at her, Morgan lifted the top from the game and started assembling her board.

“Oh, um--” Bex started, feeling that anxiousness already bubbling in her throat again, “-- I’ll try, but no promises. My parents sort of drilled it into me that it’s ‘Mister’ and ‘Misses’, or ‘Doctor’ and ‘Professor’ only!” Her face scrunched, as if she were trying to be angry and she lifted a finger to waggle. A poor imitation of her father. “You are a child, Odelia, and you will address your elders properly!” Not realizing she’d let slip her real name, she looked back across the table at Professor Be-- er, Morgan. “Oh, yeah, I’m much more of a tea person, myself. Coffee makes me jittery and anxious and I think I’m plenty of that all on my own, you know?” She watched as Morgan began assembling the game, not saying too much. Her father had made her play old strategy games like Risk and Chess for hours on end as a child, but Battleship had never seemed to reach their table. “Um, once, at school. You just kinda guess coordinates, right?”

Morgan couldn’t hide the arch in her brow as Bex gave a different name as she impersonated her parents. Did they not address her the way she asked to be? Did she keep the name she gave out to acquaintances as a secret? Still, she snorted kindly and finished setting up her board. “It’s good that you know yourself at least. I’m not sure if the world is ready for a caffeinated Bex just yet.” She finished setting up her board and started on her ships, keeping them mostly spread out from each other. “And yeah, it’s just a fun guessing game! If you know your opponent well, you can try and guess their methodology, but it’s, you know--” She held up the box lid, “Ages 6 and up.” With everything set aside on her end, she could lean back and relax. “So, I do hope you’ll take one of my seminars. My syllabus is way more fun than the other professors’, not to knock my colleagues, because they’re amazing, but I hand out movies and, occasionally, video games too. We look at what speculative and fantastical stories tell us about humanity, how we see ourselves and each other and why changes in those perceptions matter. And, you know, with all the writing homework, you’ll probably get a leg up on your fellow pre-law students. Anyone can have an idea or a feeling, but it takes work to give voice to it. But, that’s my one and only pitch. I’d much rather get to know you. Sometimes strangers can be easier to open up to than others.”

“Oh, it’s definitely not,” Bex agreed with a chuckle. She watched Morgan set up her side-- without peeking, of course!-- before working to set her own side up. She didn’t entirely know the best strategy for Battleship, but she decided she wanted to go for an out there one, sticking all of her ships right in a square in the middle of the map. “Well, I’m definitely six and up, so, I think we’re all good. Who goes first?” She looked across the table to Morgan as she continued to fuss with her pieces, wondering which formation was better, listening to her description of her course. “It sounds like a great class,” she said when the older woman was done speaking, but there was something vibrating inside of her. Something about the description, something about how free and open the course sounded, made her realize something else was going on here. Bex might have been closed off and insecure, but she was observant as well. It was one of the qualities that made her an actual decent law student. Her gaze dropped to her board and she pulled her hands away. “I’m ready to start, then,” she said, lifting her eyes just enough to gaze over the top of the board, the double meaning of her sentence not lost on either of them.

Morgan watched Bex thoughtfully, from the tightness in her shoulders to the shrill chirp of her voice. She was trying, eagerly, desperately, but for what? Morgan wanted to tell her to relax, there were no quizzes or grades handed out at the end of this meet-up. But having been that anxious herself more than once, she knew drawing attention directly didn’t always have the desired effect. “A-10?” She called. “Why don’t you tell me about why you like it here? I thought I saw you mention something about ‘coming back’ on main and I gotta say, I haven’t heard of too many people returning after they’d left. Well, not often by choice anyway.”

“Miss,” Bex said quietly, sticking a peg into A-10. “E-6?” she tried, waiting for the response. She chewed on her lip at the question, thinking a moment. It wasn’t that she really liked it here, but White Crest was home and she knew she had a place here. And even if she hadn’t gone to school here, or grown up with the other kids, or become a regular at all the diners-- she still felt like she fit in here. More so than at Penn State, where the kids looked at her with those eyes, and whispered behind their hands, and posted her private life online. “It just...feels like home, I guess. I went to private school as a kid, so it’s not like I really have any sort of connection to the town, but I just feel right here,” she explained softly, neither smiling nor frowning. She stuck a peg into the missed slot. “I came back because I had to.” Where she really wanted to be was far away from the East coast, maybe in Oregon or Washington or California. Somewhere she could start over brand new and be whoever she wanted to be. She cleared her throat. “How um-- how long have you been in White Crest?”

“Miss,” Morgan called. She let a round pass unremarked, taking in as much as she could. She was just bundled up so tight, it was no wonder she’d exploded in front of Nell. That much repression might do the same even to someone without magic. “Private school, huh? Like boarding school? I didn’t realize those were still a thing in this country.” She made another call, D-6, and took another sip of espresso. “I’ve been here for a year now. I’m starting to see how somebody could feel like they belonged here, even with all the terribleness. It’s not an easy fit, but I don’t think I could leave on a dime, not by myself anyway. But what--is it okay if I ask what made you have to come back? Or if not, maybe tell me about someplace else you dream of being. Those are good ideas to hold onto. The future, I mean.”

“Yep,” Bex said dismissively, “I went to a private boarding school. And they definitely still exist here.” And they suck, she wanted to add, but held her tongue. Uniforms and strict schedules and forced rules. Secrets and hush money and skirting around the fact that Bex was not born a girl. “My parents paid good money for it, it was a Jewish Orthodox school, a really good one, too,” she went on, swallowing down the hard feelings. They didn’t matter anymore. “The town certainly has a charm to it, doesn’t it?” She stuck a peg right between two of her ships as a miss. “Miss. Um...H-7?” She looked up again, contemplating which question she wanted to answer. They both would give away too much, and she was bad at lying. “There was an incident at my old school,” she finally said, the waver in her voice coming through, “my parents thought it best I come back home.”

“It’s okay, Bex,” Morgan said softly. “I want to know you, but you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t really want to. But I am sorry about whatever happened to you over there. It doesn’t seem like something easy.” She tilted her head, trying to meet the girl’s eyes. There was something there, something awful. Bullies, maybe? Did kids chase Bex and lock her in storage cabinets and call her names like they had Morgan? Or was there some kind of accident with her magic? “What do you want, Bex? However important your parents are to your life, however close you might be, your life is still yours. Your future should look like what you hope for. Why don’t you tell me more about that, huh? Or how the law firm fits into that idea.” Another sip of espresso. “Miss, by the way.” She scanned her grid and made a guess toward the middle. “F-6?”

Bexley swallowed hard, trying to make the worble that was building in her throat go away. “It’s okay, it’s kind of public information, anyway,” she stated matter of factly, moving away from the topic enough to not feel too overwhelmed, and thankful for Morgan’s offer. But the next question felt even harder, and Bex could feel the anxiety building in her stomach again. Her hand shook as she went to plug in the peg next to her ship, one hole away and she had to grip it with her other to make it stop. “I want to make my parents proud,” she stated, as if reading from a script, “I’m the sole heir to our business and fortune. That’s all there is to it. M-my future. That’s all I want. To be the perfect daughter for them.” And stop messing up. Since she couldn’t be their son. Since she couldn’t be the best. “Miss,” she said and her voice cracked. “F-5?”

“Miss,” Morgan replied. “And you don’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect. Perfect in terms of being flawless and incapable of improvement isn’t even a real thing. And your parents--” Morgan frowned. She had a lot of fairy tales about what parents should be like, but the more people she met, the more she wondered where she had cooked that one up. “The best way to love someone is to enable them to be the most themselves. The best, freest version of themself. And asking yourself those questions is the best way to find yourself loved better. I don’t know what your situation is, Bex, but you shouldn’t live to be an object in someone else’s story. You’re more than that. What is it that really excites you? What do you hope for?” Morgan waited, peering at this small glimpse of Bex’s pain with growing concern. Then, suddenly remembering that she had yet to call a move, she distractedly mumbled something a few spaces out from her last one. “E-5?”

Bex didn’t like this anymore. Morgan was saying things she already knew, but she also already knew that they were things she couldn’t have, so what was the point in thinking about them? In talking about them? She didn’t even bother putting a peg in this time. This was supposed to be a fun, easy meeting, not a deep dive into her extremely painful situation. “Please stop,” was all she said, hands folded tightly into her lap, “just...please?” Fingers began to pick at nail beds, still red and raw from every other time she’d done it. “All I hope for right now is to make it through each day without messing up or embarrassing someone,” she admitted quietly, but her voice was stern, an anger stewing inside of her that she rarely let to the surface, “And I just hope that I can make it through the week without some shit happening. And I hope that one day I’ll be able to look back on all this and put it behind me, but that’s not feasible right now so I really need to just not think about it and keep trying my best for my parents because they’re all I have.” And she owed them everything. Shakily, she lifted the peg and placed it on one of her ships. “Hit.” A loud whistle behind the cafe counter signaled steaming water and Bex startled. She let out a long sigh. “A-2.”

“I’m sorry,” Morgan said quickly. “I don’t mean to-- I am being sincere in what I am saying and whatever me or my life looks like to you or anyone else peeking on main apparently, it’s-- I do know what it’s like to feel like your life isn’t yours and what you want doesn’t matter and keeping your head down and being small and left alone is the best you’re gonna get. I am deeply, intimately familiar with that feeling. I can only imagine what kind of suffering you’ve been through, but you were meant for more than that, and I’m sorry. I’ll stop, okay? Do you--” Morgan stopped as another kettle trilled, glowing with sudden heat. She made a note of the hit, but didn’t put the red peg on the board. Flustered and desperate to recover the afternoon, she pawed her pockets for her phone. “I have cats. Three of them. Do you want to see pictures of the cats? Or ask me something? This isn’t an interview. If there’s something you want to know you can--” The phone clattered onto the table. Deirdre and Anya’s faces bloomed on the lock screen. “You can do whatever you want, Bex, you don’t even have to stay.”

Everything Morgan was saying just made Bex tense up more and more. Kettle’s started shouting, left and right, even the baristas were beginning to panic, running around and removing them, but finding them still screaming, louder and louder, despite the lack of heat. A crack formed in the window next to Bex as she screwed her eyes shut and clenched her entire body. She didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her or tell her how much they understood or tell her how sad it was-- she wanted to pretend like how she was living was okay and fine and that one day she’d make it through and suddenly everything would feel okay. And just be okay. She unclenched and the whistles seemed to die down. Looked at the phone that had fallen to the table and saw the happy woman on it, smiling and beautiful. And the cat, so peaceful looking. Tears welled in her eyes. “I have to go,” she said suddenly, standing up. The chair scooted back and toppled over. People turned around to look at them. Her heart seemed to leap into her throat and the mug on the table shattered. “I’m sorry! I have to--” took a step back and all the teapots wailed again. Bex looked around frantically. “It-- It was nice to meet you, Professor Beck, but I--” she didn’t get to finish her sentence as one of the pistons on the espresso machine shot off and shattered a nearby tower of cups. Bex turned and ran before anyone had a chance to ask her anything.

“Bex, wait! You need to--!” Whatever half-assed plea Morgan was working on fizzled out under the crash of falling furniture and screaming machinery. Someone’s baby started wailing, the window buckled like it had been gut-punched, and the steam whirred louder. Morgan grabbed her coat and bag and phone. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen to downtown with Bex like this, if she could talk her down or if following would only make things worse. Shit, probably worse, right? But by the time she stumbled out the door, the girl was long gone and all Morgan had left were more questions. At least she would be able to tell Nell one thing for certain: Bexley was not okay, and under her nerves lay a sadness too deep for her to contain, especially in White Crest.

[redbeardace]

Between Panic and Indifference

Okay, serious post time.

As you may know, I live near Seattle.  And if you’ve been paying attention to the news (in between the politics), you’ll know that we’re currently going through a bit of something.  I’ve been making jokes about it, but I sort of want to talk seriously about some of what it’s like here right now.

Quick recap:  About a month ago, it was announced that the first case of COVID-19/coronavirus had popped up in Everett, Washington.  Everett’s one of the larger suburbs of Seattle, home to a Boeing airplane factory, FunkoPop HQ, and Half-Price Books that I go to once in a while.  It was someone who’d been to Wuhan in China and got sick after returning to the US.  He went to the doctor, got quarantined, and that was it.  The system worked, the disease was contained, the guy got better.  And that was it.

Until last week.  Last week, they closed Bothell High School “out of an abundance of caution” in order to clean it, because a family member of someone who works at the school had gotten sick after returning from overseas travel.  Bothell is a smaller suburb than Everett.  It’s largely unremarkable, one of those places that takes up three exits on the freeway, but no one really understands why.  It’s also where I live, so hearing that the high school was closed was a bit unnerving, but also a bit ridiculous because it was all speculation.  It was a family member of a school worker, and that employee was staying home.  And it turned out that there was nothing to it, that family member did not have COVID-19.  But at least the high school got cleaned.

False alarm, back to your regularly scheduled--

Scoop Jackson High School in Mill Creek is closed on Friday, this time for a confirmed case.  Mill Creek is an even smaller suburb, sandwiched between Bothell and Everett, and it’s where my post office and a grocery store I go to is. A student had the “flu” earlier in the week, went to the doctor, the doctor said go home, get better.  So the student did that.  They got better and went back to school on Friday.  Unbeknownst to them, their doctor had performed a coronavirus test.  The student hadn’t been out of the country, hadn’t been around anyone who’d been out of the country, so they shouldn’t have had it, the doctor was just performing the test as part of some study.

It was positive.

They hadn’t been out of the country.  They hadn’t been around anyone who had been.  The only known case in the area had been contained.  There were a few cases in California that were mysterious, but at least those were linked to a possibly mismanaged quarantine situation.  But in Mill Creek, there wasn’t any of that.  Sure, it’s next to Everett where the first case was, but that was contained.  So what the hell?

Later that night, there was another case of “possible coronavirus” in Bellevue, the city where I work.

Then Saturday happened.  The first confirmed death, in Kirkland, Washington.  You know Kirkland as the Kirkland from “Kirkland Brand” at Costco.  I know Kirkland as the place I drive through on my commute that’s between Bothell and Bellevue.  Several more hospitalizations.  A news conference talks about the death and the hospitalizations and, almost as a side note, mentions 50+ people connected to a nursing home, also in Kirkland, as showing symptoms.  Fifty people.  I’m going to come back to that.  None of these people had been to China or Italy and I don’t think any of them knew anyone who had.  So what the hell?

Later that night, a scientist from a local research facility posts a short Twitter thread that potentially could have gone unnoticed.  It’s a Twitter thread for crying out loud, who knows what kind of crackpot this could be?  But it’s not a crackpot.  It actually is a local research scientist.  The thread kinda gets right to the point.  An analysis of a sample of the virus from the first patient genetically matches a sample of virus from the Mill Creek student, therefore it is highly likely that the virus has been circulating around the area, on the loose, for six weeks.

Oh.

That deadly disease that we’ve been watching cripple other parts of the world, killing thousands.  That’s here.  Now.  And it’s been here for weeks.

And by here, I mean HERE.  You may have noticed that all those cities I mentioned are places that I go regularly.  “Here” is literally right outside my door.  I am in the bright red bullseye of the hot zone, as this virus swirls around me.

After Saturday, it’s a bit of a blur what happened when, but the specifics really don’t matter.  More cases, more deaths, a Seattle skyscraper closes, Amazon closes, Microsoft closes, more schools close, including the entire Northshore School District (the district I live in), which closed today for the next two weeks.

--

So that’s the recap.  That brings us up to now.  But you could’ve gotten all that by watching the news.  I’m really writing this post to talk about what it’s like here at the moment.

I think the scariest thing about it all is that we don’t know how scared to be.  We’re used to thinking of disasters in terms of a concrete event.  Something happened, you can see the impact.  An earthquake, a school shooting, a hurricane, a terrorist attack, a volcanic eruption, a nuclear meltdown.  Most of the time, it ends, you can count the bodies, tally up the damage, and that’s that.  Even in a longer term event, you can see the lava coming and get out of the way or look at a map of the Chernobyl or Fukushima exclusion zones and avoid those places.

But this is an invisible disaster.  It’s literally in the air around us.  It’s on door handles and shopping carts and library books.  Your coworker or neighbor or roommate could be The Thing, and you have no way of knowing.  We’re playing a dangerous game of tag against an invisible opponent, and you have no idea you’re it until way too late.  

Even worse, we have absolutely no idea whatsoever how bad it actually is.  The latest official number I can find as of this writing is that there are 39 confirmed cases, and ten of those have died.  A significant number of those cases are associated with that nursing home I mentioned earlier.  So 39 isn’t bad at all, out of a couple million people in this region.  Even if you limit it to just the “bright red bullseye of the hotzone”, that’s several hundred thousand people.  So 39 out of that is nothing.  But you’ll remember that I mentioned that there were 50+ people connected to that nursing home that were sick, and only some of them are counted in that 39 number.  Then there’s a bunch of firefighters in the area who went to that nursing home, who are sick.  Family members who are sick.  And that student in Mill Creek and the first guy who died got it from somewhere...  And other random people just popping up here and there who had to get it from somewhere.  You add those all up, and it’s probably 100+ cases, but for some reason, they’re not yet confirmed (or even tested), so they don’t show up in the official counts yet.

They weren’t really testing people who hadn’t been overseas or been in contact with someone who had been, until this week.  It’s been here, on the loose, for six weeks.  There are probably thousands of cases that have gone undiagnosed.  For most people, it’s like the flu.  So how many cases of the “flu” were really COVID-19?  They’re retroactively discovering people who died prior to Saturday who had it.  Their deaths had been chalked up to some other respiratory disease.

So it’s here and it’s killing people.  But...  It’s been here for six weeks and we’re not all dead yet.  So what does that mean?  Is the disease not actually as bad as people feared?  Sure, it sucks if you get it and it’s really bad if you’re old or already sick, but so’s the flu, and we haven’t panicked about that since Seattle made it to the Stanley Cup.  If that’s the case then maybe this is as bad as it gets, which, frankly, isn’t that bad at all and we’re all overreacting.  Or are we just at the start of the spread and it’s about to go Beast Mode on us and lay us flat for two years?  We don’t know.

Everything’s shutting down except huge gatherings like ECCC and the Sounders games.  King County just bought a motel to use as a quarantine site.  Stay in your car on the ferry.  Awkwardly jab elbows instead of shaking hands.  But only ten people have died out of 4 million, and all of those ten had “underlying conditions”, and it hasn’t been bad enough for anyone to notice until now, so...

So what are we supposed to do about all this?  Raid every store for every last bottle of Purell and every last roll of toilet paper and hunker down in our homes like it’s the end of days?  Or do nothing in particular because enh no biggie?

It’s like we’re standing on a beach and we’ve been told that maybe a tsunami is coming.  We’ve been standing here for a month and a half, and the water is up to our ankles and we’ve just noticed our feet are wet.  Is the tsunami still coming?  Is this the tsunami?  Or is this just the tide?

It’s weird living like this.  You find yourself doing things in different ways, noticing things you never noticed.  Every morning now, I’m checking my work email before driving in, just in case we’ve been told to work from home “out of an abundance of caution”, or worse, told that we need to self-quarantine because someone in the office tested positive.  Every night, I bring my laptop home in case this is the last day I’m in the office for a while.  Everyone’s telling a lot of morbid jokes.  Traffic is amazing.  There are even spots on the second level of the parking garage and there are NEVER spots on the second level when I get in.  Every cough is treated with suspicion, and your coworkers cough a lot.  Every door handle is treated with suspicion, and there are a lot of door handles. No one from the other offices is allowed to travel to our office and we’re not allowed to go elsewhere.  I’m getting targeted ads for hand sanitizer and Windex. I had a slight tickle in my throat that might just be allergies, but I started mentally doing contact tracing of everywhere I’d been and everyone I’d talked to over the past two weeks.  I’ve never even considered that I might have allergies before.  I have a day off tomorrow, so do I risk going to the store to make sure I have at least three weeks of supplies, instead of only the two weeks I currently have, just in case?  Or do I go to the store just to see the circus of empty shelves?  Or do I go to the store to buy an Xbox One X so if I do get quarantined, at least I can be quarantined with True 4K Gaming?

--

I was listening to the radio this morning, and they were interviewing musician Dave Matthews about the coronavirus.  He was talking about touring while this is going on, and how he might come home to Seattle between the legs of his tour, and he said something like “We’ve got to find a balance between panic and indifference”.  And I just felt like that’s the best possible way to describe where we are right now.

Seattle:  Somewhere between panic and indifference.

[cheile]

Found on Facebook, kinda funny!

(FYI kinda long!)

**

*A RECAP OF THE LAST TWO MONTHS*

(by James Tabbek & Joseph Walker)

AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?

CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.

NEW YORK: Shut down your state.

AMERICA: Wait... what? Why?

CALIFORNIA: Because 40 million people live here and we did it early, and it’s working.

NEW YORK CITY: Because 20 million people live here and not doing it early is costing lives.

WASHINGTON STATE: Social distancing works.

TRUMP: Don't talk to that snake.

ILLINOIS: Tired of waiting. We're buying our own PPE's

TRUMP: i need those for the nation's stockpile.

ILLINOIS: Say hi to our national guard.

IOWA: Whoa... whoa... let’s not be hasty now. The president said that this whole coronavirus thing is a democratic hoax & he'll stand by us.

TRUMP: Actually I said I will stand by & watch.

LOUISIANA: That's New York's problem.

COVID-19: Now it's yours.

ALABAMA: We are not Louisiana.

EVERYONE: Well bless your heart.

TRUMP: I want to reopen for Easter.

GEORGIA: When they show symptoms, shoot.

W.VIRGINIA: For crying out loud, go eat & shop

OKLAHOMA: Go out to a restaurant.

FOX NEWS: Glad you've been watching.

NEW YORK: Don't be stupid.

FLORIDA: Hold my beer. It's Spring Break!

NEW MEXICO: Don't put a cart before the horse

LAS VEGAS: Our workers can be a covid-19 control group.

OHIO: Delay the primary.

WISCONSIN: To hell with that, I'm voting.

MISSISSIPPI: Open the churches!

GOD: You do know I'm not only in your building.

PUERTO RICO: All night curfew.

TRUMP: Whiners.

FLORIDA: It doesn't affect kids.

EVERYONE: Face plant.

TRUMP: I'll decide when to ease restrictions.

U.S.CONSTITUTION: States Rights

NEW YORK: We cant do it without federal help. Pass some bucks our way.

TRUMP: Stop passing the buck.

NEBRASKA: It is critical to get back to work and slow the virus.

FAUCI: Pick 1

TENNESSEE: We're heading in a good direction.

EVERYBODY: Ass backwards is not a direction.

NEW YORK: Does anyone have ventilators.

TRUMP: We sent you some. The nurses must be stealing them.

TEXAS: But the president said that we only have 15 cases and soon it'll be zero.

CALIFORNIA: The president can’t count to fifteen. Nor even spell it. Shut down your state.

NEW JERSEY: Us too?

CALIFORNIA: Yes, you guys too. Just like when Christie shut down the bridge, but it’s your whole state.

NEW YORK: Does anyone have spare doctors?

HAWAII: Welcome tourists, swimmers, surfers & joggers.

GEORGIA: Joggers? Are they black? Get my gun.

FLORIDA: But what about all these kids here on spring break?? They spend a lot of money here!

CALIFORNIA: Those kids invented the tide pod challenge. Shut down your state.

LOUISIANA: But wait let’s have Mardi Gras first. It entertains people.

CALIFORNIA: It also kills them. Shut it down.

NEW YORK: Anyone have masks or gloves?

GEORGIA: Ok well how about we keep the state open for all of our mega churches? Maybe we can all pray really hard until the coronavirus just goes away!

CALIFORNIA: Which is working like a charm for mass shootings. Jesus told us to tell you to shut down your state.

OKLAHOMA: What about the tigers?

TRUMP: I put Carole Baskin in charge.

WYOMING: Hold up, maybe we should go county by county like the president said.

CALIFORNIA: Stop acting like there are counties in Wyoming. There are no counties in Wyoming. Wyoming is a county. Shut it down.

PENNSYLVANIA: But big coal.

CALIFORNIA: But big death. Shut it.

WEST VIRGINIA: But we were the last state to get coronavirus!

CALIFORNIA: And don’t make us explain to you why that was. Shut it down.

NORTH CAROLINA: But the republican national convention is coming here!

CALIFORNIA: SHUT... ok fine do what you want.

[chaoticdisater]

Reading a book called the wrong side of right and trying to sympathies for the republican characters because about 75% of the characters are Republican,

each part of this series will end with me getting so done with the republican party that i have to re-read the scene in red white and royal blue where Alex kisses Henry ageist the Alexander Hamilton porti, 

(here the book discripiton for anyone who cares 

Kate Quinn’s mom died last year, leaving Kate parentless and reeling. So when the unexpected shows up in her living room, Kate must confront another reality she never thought possible—or thought of at all. Kate does have a father. He’s a powerful politician. And he’s running for U.S. President. Suddenly, Kate’s moving in with a family she never knew she had, joining a campaign in support of a man she hardly knows, and falling for a rebellious boy who may not have the purest motives. This is Kate’s new life. But who is Kate? When what she truly believes flies in the face of the campaign’s talking points, she must decide. Does she turn to the family she barely knows, the boy she knows but doesn’t necessarily trust, or face a third, even scarier option? Set against a backdrop of politics, family, and first love, this is a story of personal responsibility, complicated romance, and trying to discover who you are even as everyone tells you who you should be. (taken from the penguin random house website) 

- alright here we go, waring all of these thoughs are random and may not make much sense out of book context but i will try, 

chapter one 

- over all a good set up chapter we meet Kate whos got ~ trauma ~ due to having a dead mom, 

- she is a fine if bland ish character so fair, shes a smart jr in high school whos moved from California to south Carolina because her mom died in a car accendt 

- shes to scared to make friends and now the press is surrounding her house, 

-wOw shes the daughter of the senter maybe

- wouldn't it be funny if it was actually just a rumor like i know its not because there’s 390 in this bitch but 

chapter two 

- wow i would hate to be in that living room seems tense and crowed, and like this high ranking member of palrement essentlay when to this poor couples house and ruined there day

- Kate sweetie, i know ive only know you for 8-9 pages but like run these people do not have your best interests at heart. 

-why are you grilling her NANCY she clearly has no idea whats happening, 

- NO CLEARLY SHES JUST AN AMAZING ACTOR, NO BITCH SHE DOESNT KNOW WHO HER FATHER IS, 

- hades give me strenght, 

-these people (the senter and his staff i guess) barge into these peoples (kates uncles and aunts home) house force her to take a blood test (they never actually ask if she gives consent for the blood test and don’t give that shit of her uncle consented for her, shes 16 witch means she is in south Carolina over the age of consent,) then leave with out answering any of her questions like they haven't just changed her whole world. 

-her mother NEVER told her who her father was and now the whole world knows. 

chapter three 

- feels like a weird chose to describe what our charater looks like sixteen pages in but im not here to harp on the authors writing since it is actually pretty well written

- so i have to lisan to something while i am reading to focaus and ive got ‘a playlist for hopeless romantics’ on youtube made by melontarts and that has nothing to do with the books execpt that i really like there playlist videos. 

- so this Revelation kinda comes later i guess but its importen for me to tell you that Kates mom died at 35 which is only supost to be a year back and the book has just told me the senator is 47 and kates mom was in collage when she was in the campaign meaning kates mom was 19 when she had Kate, also meaning the senor was 30, which isn't illegal but it upsets me

- so she wakes up at 6 is in the bathroom having what seems to be a panic attack of some sorts until 6:22 then she goes down starts to google her father and after some very light googling the whole senors crew is at her house at what 7 

- these people are low key rude to Kates uncle berry, like he doesn't deserved to get bossed around by them

- kate is pro-choice, like she says she doesn't know if shes pro-life or pro-choice but why wouldn't she tell stupid asshole republican man if she was pro life, like her thoughts are ‘i defenty did have an opinion in this question but i knew what he wanted to here’ 

- i dont trust Nancy but im not sure why, 

- i just need to get to then end of this chapter and i can read some red white and royal blue, 

- this poor girl believes that everyone in her life is just stuck with her and the sad thing is she can justify most of it, 

- okay so shes going to washington with them to be there little puppet. 

and i just realised my copy of red white and royal blue was packed away because im moving to collage soon so i cant get it. 

welp until next time

Next part

[dailyaudiobible]

06/15/2020 DAB Transcript

1 Kings 14:1-15:24, Acts 10:1-23, Psalms 133:1-3, Proverbs 17:7-8

Today is the 15th day of June welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is great to be here with you as we move into our week, continue our journey through this month of June, and continue our journey through the Bible. So, we’re in the book of first Kings in the Old Testament and things have kinda fallen apart. So, Solomon had his reign, brought Israel to its apex. His son Rehoboam succeeded him as king but 10 of the tribes defected or rebelled or abandoned Rehoboam’s rule and…and abandoned the house of David, for that matter and have appointed their own king's name is Jeroboam. He’s the King of Israel while Rehoboam, Solomon's son is king of Judah. Rehoboam is…it would be good…Jeroboam and Rehoboam sound very similar. So, it's easy for us to get kind of mixed up. It would be good for us to just know who we’re talking about here. Jeroboam the King of Israel, the 10 tribes of the north has lead Israel into idolatry by setting up golden calves in Dan in the north and Bethel in the South. Those are the borders of his kingdom. And now a nation that was once one chosen people has been divided into two different nations who have animosity for each other. So, we pick up that story. We’ reading from the New Living Translation this week. First Kings 14:1 through 15:24.  

Commentary:

Alright. So, in the Old Testament today in the book of first Kings, now is the time that we've gottta…we’ve gotta pay attention to the fact that these 12 tribes that we watched form…I mean we watched the 12 sons who whose offspring became the 12 tribes of Israel, we watched them be born and we watched them in slavery, we watched all of the things that they did, including the wandering in the wilderness but they unified as a people, as a family. And this family was united under King Saul. But then…well…we know the story that happened there. And, so, the house of David rose up and the tribes had all ratified this. This king who was from Judah was going to be king of Israel. They all had to get behind this. And, so, they got behind David. And remember the story of David. We see why they got behind David, because everybody knew he was running from Saul and everybody knew he was a great leader in Israel. So, when David died Solomon ascended to the throne, although there was…there was some drama, some significant drama involved in that, but Solomon ascended the throne and brought this unified Israel, this unified monarchy to its apex. And then Solomon drifted away from God. And it…you know…it was a brief description of what happened. The wives and concubines that he had, he started trying to pacify them and let them worship their own gods and he was seduced away. We’ll…we’ll hear more about these things as we continue through the Bible, especially when we do the book of Ecclesiastes. But after Solomon's reign things fell apart. So, Solomon's son, David's grandson, Rehoboam became king of Israel and everybody came together to ratify that he would be the king over all the tribes of Israel, but he was arrogant and he told the people, especially of the northern tribes that he was going to make life even more difficult for them than his father had made. And, so, they rebelled and made Jeroboam their king. And now there are 10 tribes in the north, the nation of Israel and two tribes in the south, the nation of Judah. I say all that by way of review because we are in the books of the Kings, the books of the kings of Judah and Israel. And they…they weren't born and they didn't die on the same day. So, there's gonna be plenty of overlap. Like even in today's reading, Jeroboam the King of Israel in the North has been prophetically rejected by God, but his reign went on for a couple of decades. In the meantime, Rehoboam lived and reigned and his son succeeded him, and his grandson succeeded him, and we see…we should note that the kings of Israel and Judah, after Solomon's reign, they were not loyal to their covenant with God until king Asa of Judah, which we briefly read about today, began to turn things back around, began to serve God as his ancestor King David had done. So, in so many ways it is like we’re repeating the book of Judges only in a very organized political military. Again, in the book of Judges everybody's doing what's right in their own eyes and now everybody can’t do what’s right in their own eyes. The king can. But this thing that they thought was gonna unite them and make everything better was just a brief temporary fix. The thing that will hold them together is their covenant with God but seems to be the thing that’s disposable. And we will continue this journey as we move through many, many generations and centuries of Kings who ruled in Israel and who ruled in Judah.

In the New Testament some pretty significant developments are happening in the book of Acts, things that have implications that are far, far, far reaching and actually craft the story of the early church. So Cornelius, Roman centurion, is a God-fearing man. And this is what the Hebrew people called a Gentile person who wasn't converting to Judaism but was attempting to live among the Hebrew people and worship among the people and honor the God of the Hebrew people. They were God-fearing and respected, and this was a respected man who had a vision telling them to send for Peter. Like just send some people south out of Joppa and get Peter and bring him back because he had some things to say. So, he does obey that. Meanwhile, Peter’s on the roof of a house in Joppa having a vision of his own – a sheet coming down full of animals that are, under the Mosaic law, unclean. And Peter is being told to eat those animals, like…like to disobey the law. Like something new is afoot and Peter is confused. He's like, “I've never…like I can't. I've never done anything like that…like this. I've never let anything unclean touch my lips to eat them.” And then in the vision he’s told what God has made clean is clean. Like, so something new is happening. And then these people arrive to…to pick up Peter and Peter’s told to go with them. We have to remember that Cornelius is not a Hebrew, he’s a Gentile. And the things that Peter’s seen in this sheet; those are the kinds of things that Gentiles eat. They’re unclean. And we are beginning to practically see that this new thing that God is doing in the world through Jesus, this thing that's forming in the world called the church that is evolving right after Jesus ministry may in fact be a little different than anybody was thinking because up until this point, Jesus was considered by some to be the Hebrew Messiah, pretty much rejected by most. That could be true. But everything Jesus had done was in a Hebrew context, and His ministry was in a Hebrew context to mostly Hebrew people and His message was very, very much in the Hebrew context. He was a rabbi who commented on all on the customs and on the Hebrew people. So, what's going on here with an angel telling a Gentile to go get Peter? And what's going on here with Peter seeing unclean things that are now permitted? A vast shift with far, far reaching implications is afoot in the early church in the book of Acts. And we will watch that come to fruition in the days ahead.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your word. We thank you for your faithfulness to us in our lives. And father as we come to the Scriptures each day, we ask that you would lead us into all truth. This is a promise one that we hold onto. And, so, we continue our journey forward believing that you will continue to lead and guide our steps through the Scriptures, through our understanding of them, and through the way that we live our lives because of them. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

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And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the hotline button in the app, little red button at the top. And just…yeah…I love that thing. It’s like, if you’ve got the Daily Audio Bible app you…you got a hotline and a hotline to people who are gonna pray. And, so, I love that. So, hit the hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello DAB this is David the beloved child of God in Northern California it’s been well over a year since I’ve called in. I’m still involved with young life doing ministry to adolescents and you could be praying for that community all over the world. It’s been especially hard in the COVID-19 pandemic. And young life camps are closed throughout America this summer. So, pray for creativity for young life leaders. Also, I just want to say, Jesse from Washington. I don’t know what it is about you brother but every time you call in I just…you’re on my heart. You’ve been on my prayer list for many, many months and I’m praying for you. Just know that. I’m not very good about praying a lot of the phone here but for some reason you’re the one guy that I just continually…every time I hear you call and it just piques my ears and I pay attention. Praying for faithfulness. Praying for you specifically to stay faithful to your wife. Stay strong stay encouraged. And then finally family, I would ask that you would pray for my neighbors Randall and Debra. Randall has stage IV cancer. Doctors aren’t given him much prognosis for a healthy lifestyle going forward and maybe two years to live at the most. First off and more than anything I ask that you would be praying for a miracle. My wife and I are praying for him and his wife is really losing hope. So, pray for Deborah that she would have hope. Pray for a miracle for Randall who is also having trouble sleeping. Jesse also just want to let you know I’m praying against all the attack of gossip that your wife is experiencing. Stay strong family. Love you. Bye-bye. This is David the Beloved from Northern California.

Good morning DABbers this is in response to Abby who called in and to the mothers who are weary of being afraid of what might happen to their children of…and for the families who have lost members to violence. I don’t have my own wisdom other than to say I long Lord to be a part of the solution and not the problem. So, I want to pray for Micah 6:8. What does the Lord require of you? To do justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. So, Lord I pray that You would work justice in my heart, in my thoughts, in my words to others, and my actions. Open my eyes to see injustice around me and give me the courage to speak and act against it. Lord, let me show kindness to all I encounter, to remember that they are made in Your image and so treat others as Kin. And Lord let me walk humbly with You, banish pride, and to love in Your name. I pray wisdom and humility in our leaders. Oh Lord, help our country Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name. Amen.

I am a longtime listener and a first-time caller and I’m just going to call myself Virginia from Dallas because that’s who I am. My name is Virginia and I’m living in Dallas Texas. And at the beginning of the year, Daniel the Kingdom Seeker sung a song and…and he released a word and it said “rest, trust and worship.” And I realized how much we were going to need that as we began our journey through 2020 - the rest, the trust in our God, and the worship that will get us through. And, so, daily when I…when I start my work day of course it’s at home now and part of the prayer that I pray it says rest trust and worship and O Lord even in this day’s most stressful moments may I rest in you. Increase my love for Your word and Your people and let passion rise within me. Let the fire of the Holy Spirit rise inside of me in the mighty name of our Lord Jesus, in the matchless name of our Savior. And I just wanted to say to my brother how much I appreciate that word and how it has carried me through the tribulations of 2020. I love you DABbers. I listen and I pray along with you. I remember you. I love you. And I thank God for community that understands the power of love and prayer. Brian…

I would just like to ask for prayer request. I’m in a marriage. I accepted Christ about six years ago and my husband has not, and this causes me to struggle with my faith. So, right now I’m just struggling really hard trying to believe God’s word and deal with my husband at the same time. It just keeps putting doubts in my head. So, I’m just…just requesting prayer for me for like God to strengthen my faith and pray for my husband that isn’t saved. Thank you so much. I just joined this about a week ago and I’m loving it and I wish that I joined it so I could have been a part of this from the beginning of the year, but I’m thankful that it is now part of my life and I’m getting in the word more. So, I’m thankful for that and if you could just please lift me and my husband up in prayer and most importantly pray for my strength in…in God and these doubts from the enemy just stop because I feel like I’m being attacked right now. Thank you and have a great day.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family this Taria calling from Chicago. I’ve called in a couple of times before with prayer requests for my family and to offer encouragement to others but today I’m calling because I just learned that a gentleman that’s done some work with me around my house for the better part of 10 years now just shared with me that his son and his wife have recently passed away. He lost his son earlier this year and lost his wife just not even a month ago. He and his wife came to America over 40 years ago to build a better life for them and their small family. He is now here separated from the majority of his family from his home country and his support system and it just breaks my heart that such a wonderful hard-working loving person is just dealing with so much on top of everything else that’s going on in 2020. So, I’m just asking for the Daily Audio Bible family to pray for Mr. Batista, that he can get through this extremely difficult time and just be surrounded by all the love and faith and endurance that it’s gonna require of him to…to stay strong. Thank you very much.

Good morning prodigal I’m glad to hear your story. You know what? Israel fell to pieces because they didn’t know who they are. America falls to pieces because she’s been torn apart by her internal strife. My family was torn apart because we didn’t know who we were and that’s how it’s been. But I know I’ve got a Father who cares about justice. I’ve got a God of hope as it says in Romans. It fills me with all joy and peace as I serve Him. And I know that He cares to put good food on my plate, He cares about who I am because my Father is the prize…kind of person I want to be. My Father walked here on earth in the person of Jesus Christ. He showed exactly what sort of family I’m a part of. And prodigal I’m proud to be in your family. I’m proud to call you my brother and I’m also proud that we have a Father that cares to do justice in the courts of heaven. And that’s exactly where we belong. Even on this moment on our knees while were waiting for revival to break out in America where there’s fighting and violence on the spirit of consternation and if frustration and of anger has its way, I know that the Holy Spirit is on the wave behind that. I know that my God is great and just, greatly to be praised. His Angels are mighty and waiting for us to pray the word and to release them into the atmosphere around these cities. He’s waiting for us to be strong in Him not in who we are here in flesh but in Spirit. And I praise the Lord for watching over ...

Convicted Beyond Measure what a glorious and beautiful name. I heard your prayer, your plea this morning and was overwhelmed with the heart of the Lord for you. A sweet and soft kind love, the embrace of a loving parent who weeps over their child in sadness and in joy. And what a wonderful name Convicted Beyond Measure, for conviction in Christ is the realization of how much we are loved. Lord I ask for my sibling that you give them peace, peace not in their emotions but peace in their soul knowing that You are in control. Lord, open their eyes to Your work that they might not be distracted by their own faults and flaws or distracted by the works of the enemy but see Your hand in all things and hold fast to that so that they may follow You and bring healing and love and joy and peace and kindness and gentleness wherever they go just as their Father and their brother Lord Jesus Christ did before them. Amen.

[saltwaffle]

For the Writing prompt meme, 76 & 63 or 55 & 49 with any ship ( preferably courtship )

i am doing both because nobody can stop me, both of these are courtship

76.) Did They or Didn’t They?

63.) Everybody Knows/Mistaken for Couple 

this definitely happens in canonverse if they come to earth. to the humans, they’re so similar yet so complimentary and play off each other so well that they have to be sisters, girlfriends, wives, SOMETHING. everyone knows THAT. so nobody bothers to bring it up how compatible they are even though they’re constantly arguing because duh, they’ve started living in the same apartment, they go everywhere with each other, they even try to get court cases against each other. they’re totally doing this on purpose they’re totally fucking

even though like? it’s not even really on purpose. they live together because back on homeworld, all zircons in a facet lived together in the same apartment complex, it’s force of habit. they go everywhere each other because they’re both shit-awful introverts and any introvert worth her salt knows that hanging with someone you can’t stand is better than hanging with someone you don’t know. and why wouldn’t they try to get court cases against each other it’s what they’ve always done

except that one day BZ and YZ are out on one of their “business dinners” in a private suite of a fancy restaurant and someone gossipy like yellow pearl eavesdrops on their conversation expecting to hear mushy romantic shit but instead theyre just???? discussing points of law and insulting each other?? so she maybe-kinda follows them home because curiosity killed the cat you know and expects to hear sex talk through their window but no they just keep arguing about constitutional law until they both go to bed

cue an elaborate scheme to catch them both in the act which draws in more and more curious gems and humans who all want to know, do the gem lawyers fuck or do they not, until the entirety of beach city is in on it and BZ and YZ are just so fuckin confused. they know something’s up but they’re not sure what. so they in turn start poking around and, united against the common enemy of a mystery, both start developing feelings for each other. everything resolves with BZ and YZ having their first kiss and then immediately like 20 gems burst in on them and go “AHA!” and now the zircons are like double confused

55.) Established Relationship

49.) Fake Married

now this is something that happens in the bluebell field verse! 

so after the epilogue of bluebell field, yana and bell date for the rest of high school senior year, but go to different schools — bell goes to pomona college in california, yana travels across the country to georgetown in washington d.c., both incredibly good schools where they both have an amazing time! however their relationship weakens and they break up midway through freshman year, unable to stay long-distance. bell continues to date other women and yana experiments more, even getting engaged to a man at one point before calling it off.

they graduate in 2002 and both return to L.A., both with plans to take a gap year and work before law school. however, later that year, yana is accidentally outed to her homophobic parents and is forced to leave home. she reconciles with bell and bell’s family welcomes her into their home with open arms. after such a long time, it’s kind of awkward for them to begin dating right away, but they slowly begin to rekindle their relationship and are officially dating by the time they both begin 1L at harvard law school. they are quiet about their relationship but not secretive, open to their close friends and people they trust. 

at the end of their first year, massachusetts legalizes gay marriage and they’re both quite happy for that, but since their relationship is still kind of tender, they decide not to make any fast moves. during the summer, they return home to L.A. and yana tells bell and her family about wanting to reconcile with her parents so she doesn’t have to keep taking up space in her home. 

worried for yana, mama zarcero hatches a plan to truly test yana’s parents’ loyalty — when yana goes back, she should introduce bell as her lawfully wedded wife. yana’s parents now cannot play the “we’ll love you again if you stop being gay” manipulation card without violating a lawful marriage, or at least what they THINK is a lawful marriage in the state of massachusetts. if they further refuse to support yana, then nothing has changed and the act can be dropped.

except that something DOES change. when yana introduces bell as her wife, yana’s parents actually relent. they confess that they had wondered if such a thing would happen, and that even though they knew that yana was probably off screwing ladies in cambridge, they missed her anyway. they tell yana that even though their public policies haven’t changed, they will tolerate her choice and would acknowledge bell as their daughter in law.

this sends bell and yana and bell’s parents all up in a tizzy because they actually hadn’t expected that to work??? like what the fuck??????? but now yana’s parents are actually kind of getting into it, they’re curious and they want to know what the wedding was like, what did yana’s dress look like, did bell wear a dress or??? what are lesbian weddings like???? and whether or not they’re buying a house and settling in cambridge or what. and it could all be solved by yana simply confessing “hey we’re not actually married we were just testing you” but she REALLY LIKES having her parents actually be interested in her life, and she doesn’t want to make them mad by confessing that she lied to them. and also because mama and papa zarcero are both having a lot of fun making fake wedding pictures and making yana’s parents uncomfortable with their much-too-loud punk rock music. “we can only do this if they think we’re in-laws!! if we’re just the girlfriend’s parents, we can’t, but now they think they’re stuck with us!”

cue chaos. 

send me two tropes and a ship!