#I also have an ovarian cyst I was supposed to go get ultra-sounded in December but forgot to make the appointment

[thecowboykatsuki-anon]

My body is doing some FUNKY things on this new birth control and I don’t think I appreciate it

[genghiskhanmeleon-blog]

Kaths story

I’ve known Kath since i was a young girl, i could sit on her knee so that long, she was a great friend to mammy B. She is funny and kindness shines out of her. She has also had cancer, here is her story; I had known something wasn’t quite right for a bout two years but being a typical woman I just got on with it, I had better things to do and others to care for. I used to joke about having a tummy like a shelf and would out my cuppa on it. My tummy would swell and it got to the point where I couldn’t eat and I thought I need to do something about this. I was sent for an ultra sound my womb was swollen and I needed an MRI. After 5 weeks i chased it up with my doctor to find my referral was lost in the system, it happens I was told, but whatever was going on wasn’t getting better. A cyst was discovered on my ovary, they tried 4 times but couldn’t get a biopsy because it was moving around. They took blood, gave me a CT scan and the MRI. I asked if they were testing for cancer but because there was no family history and i hadn’t had any post menopausal bleeding they didn’t think it was . Then came the diagnosis; stage 3 ovarian cancer, i shouldn’t be here now, it was found at such a late stage, i know that. The nurse who told me looked at me in silence after i was told, i said if you're waiting for me to cry you will have a long wait, lots of people get cancer, this time its my turn. The day after the diagnosis i met my surgeon over at queen Elizabeth hospital to discuss the surgery and if i would be willing to take a cancellation. Of course i would. To this point i hadn’t told my family, i told my son by accident, he rang to ask where i was as i cane out the hospital with everything in my head and in need of a fag. He told me i needed to tell my husband. I had just got on with it. I got the call about a cancellation and i was to go the next day. A chest x-ray and 7 or 8 people explaining the 7 to 8 operations i was about to have in one. they took my womb , ovaries, fallopian tubes, 7 lymph nodes, they scraped away a thick band on my stomach wall that was my shelf, there were 4 tumours on my pelvis, some on my small bowel and kidney. I later found out they had nicked my appendix and cervix whilst they were in there. . I had a bad reaction to the epidural and my blood pressure went dangerously low. I had 22 staples in my stomach holding me together. A burse explained that it was like having 7 dwarf’s inside hacking away with pick axes and that’s why i wasn’t bouncing back because i really didn’t feel any better. There had been so much cancer my stomach had been squashed and that is why i couldn’t eat. All the biopsies came back as cancer, that’s what ovarian cancer is, it spreads. I had never had pain like it. They advised walking 100 yards but i could hardly move. I didn’t make things easy as i didn’t want the pain killers. Just after the op i got sickness and diarrhoea and i became so weak i couldn’t walk, i had to be half carried to bed by my husband. Then came chemo, i Had 2 different types and each session took 9.5 hours. I was first in and last out. At my second session my heart stopped, the nurse gave me 3 injections as my body was rejecting it and the session was stopped. I went back for my third and it started again, i became breathless and my heart began To race but i refused to give up, i just kept talking, i needed to get through it and i did. 4 times my bloods were low so the sessions were delayed. I had 6 sessions at 3 weekly intervals, well that was the plan until my bloods caused a delay. The last session was in the December and i did everything i could to keep my immune system up, i had a grandson due and i wasn’t going to let cancer stop me being a grandmother. During all this i used a lot of alternative therapies to help and i tried to laugh as much as possible. All my visitors brought cake that helped too. I wanted everyone to think i was well and hid the pain and discomfort until my hair fell out and thats when people realise your poorly. I think my husband was more upset than me when it started to come out in clumps. The chemo also made me lose my appetite and have a lot of bad heads. Every session i went to i had matching dresses, caps and scarfs. I needed the staff to know i was worth fighting for. The worst part was being told i was in remission, that i didn’t have cancer. I didn’t know what i was suppose to do, the oncologist said to get on with my life but how do you after all that’s happened. What is normal? I felt like i had been deserted, pushed out on a lake with a rowing boat without oars. Outpatients were great they had all the time in the world for me. I needed detail and they told me, hiding nothing. They explained that the chemo had dealt with the tumours on my bowel and kidney as they were less than 1cm which is amazing. In the first year you have 4 check ups, then 3 then 3 then 2 and then 1. I have 1 left to go. I remember being in Keswick and it was raining, it was just after i had been told i was in remission, i didn’t have my hair back and i went outside and took my scarf off and got soaked. All i could think was i was alive i am alive. Everything happened so fast i didn’t have time to think, and then one day it hit me, i had cancer. It was like it was happening to someone else. I think back on it and its still like it happened to someone else. I think about it coming back, it will never leave me, its just there. Thinks like scar tissue pain, twinges in my pelvic bine reminds you of it and makes you wonder if it will come back. That’s not all you are left with. My eyebrows are just coming back after 4 years and my leg hair which i could do without. I have numbness on my stomach and upper thighs. I still have questions about things like this. I get constipated but that’s down to them throwing my bowels back in after everything was removed and they just lay where they lay. Ive out in 3 stone and can only manage to lose a few lbs. I also pee myself. A lot. Its not even a little dribble it can be a full on pee, it embarrassing but i still try to laugh. They can offer me tablets to help but im still waiting for them or it could be another op. I’ve also went through the change of life for a second time. Physical side effects you expect but things like my husband still not trusting me because i hadn’t told him about what was going on wasn’t. If i rub my tummy he worries. Like I’ve said i tried to laugh, keep mu spirits up. The chemo department asked if i would go but i couldn’t. I kind of regret it now, because i wanted someone to talk to with the same type of cancer i had. To see if what was happening was normal. Google is not a friend when you have cancer. Statistics are scary and i wish i had never used it. The odd thing was they avoided the word cancer. They kept saying mass. That’s because cancer and death go hand in hand in peoples heads. I prove that that’s not true. My advise if for women to listen to their bodies, don’t wait, put it off, we know when thing aren’t right. Get checked out.