#I also have a lot of feelings about how Sullivan correlates to her father during the start of S2

[mayabishopgold]

Maya & Sullivan | Station 19 - 2x03 "Home to Hold Onto"

[libra-stellium]

*currently reading Venus & Jupiter - Erin Sullivan*

She mentions the relationship between creativity and pregnancy when talking about the origin of the myths about Venus:

“There are many times when we feel full of ourselves and complete, as if we are ready for something new, a new creation, but it’s very uncomfortable, for it simply isn’t happening. It’s often at this time we are most uncomfortable with our sense of completeness, that we are, in fact, most aware of our need for a new experience, and something does actually get born out of that sense of fullness …. Often creation is preceded by depression.”

I’m having so many thoughts about this! This makes sense why spiritually we see indications of pregnancy and birth as new opportunities and new cycles. Especially if you’re not pregnant and you have a dream about it! Also shows how the process of creating is usually uncomfortable. Some people spend months on one painting! The learning process is also uncomfortable bc of how many times you have to try before you finally get a technique. Singers taking classes to learn new techniques go through the same!

I can also see the correlation between giving birth and feeling like you HAVE to get a thought or a feeling out creatively and it just consumes you and you can’t think about anything else the same way it feels during contractions like this baby needs to be out NOW!!

The sentence that creation is often preceded by depression is really hitting for me bc I was telling someone this over the weekend!! When my narc mom moved closer and I was now dealing with her antics almost 24/7 I was literally depressed and I couldn’t do the creative things that I would usually be doing. After going no contact with her it felt like I needed to scream or something 😂 Mentally it feels like my brain is able to come up with creative solutions to any problems I have and I've done so many creative things since!

She also wrote that “there was a time when there was no concept of paternity” so I had to look up when it was introduced and I could not find anything lol there’s just so much about paternity law 💀 but anywayyyyy the way I understand it is that before the concept of paternity the whole pregnancy process was only Venus focused in the sense that the focus was on the beauty of the process bc there were no expectations in the outcome. (I’m a lawyer) To me paternity is about ownership and responsibility like is that child yours? Are you claiming them legally? I feel like the introduction of paternity adds more pressure and more focus onto the outcome bc it depends on it. If there is no baby at the end there is no paternity you know?? But the outcome of no baby doesn’t erase the pregnancy/process that a woman just went through.

I can see how this relates to creativity bc when you’re in the creative process just to be in it you’ll be satisfied with whatever the outcome is but when you have rules (personal or institutional) about what a satisfactory outcome is the creative process is not the same bc now you depend on that specific outcome to feel satisfied Lmfao idk if that makes sense but it does in my head!

And I can’t think of processes without thinking of saturn! It makes sense to me that saturn is exalted in a Venus sign (libra) bc they’re both about the process and journey and less about the outcome. When I think of Venus and Libra I think about beautifying things and people like the makeover scene in a movie lol everything has the potential if they go through the process and sometimes that’s the most satisfying part! A lot of times when you’ve been in the process for a long time and you get to the outcome you’re like alright! Cool!…….now what 😅 lmao

Also back to the paternity thing, there's no "paternity" in the rulership book but father is ruled by the sun and saturn and this may be a reach but stay with me lol I feel like viewing the father in a saturn way would be about the one that took on the role during the pregnancy instead of their role starting after birth and viewing the father like the sun would be about when birth happens and the dad doesn't drop the baby and people act like he just achieved the unimaginable and mom is just there like where's my praise??? Bc saturn is in detriment in leo and bc sun is in its fall in libra it's like the process has a hard time getting the proper recognition compared to the outcome you know??

Thank you for reading if you made it this far lol