#I also can't believe its been a year already dear god

[theroseyhues]

DAY 1 of hermit-a-day-may 2024!!!!!! I am so unbelievably happy to be participating in this for the second year in a row C:

Day 1 is Beef, and I have to say I absolutely love his current skin its very pretty and I enjoy the colors a lot :D

@hermitadaymay <- tagging for day 1 so yall can check it out! Take care!!

[writersmess]

DEATH WISH LOVE | EVAN BUCKLEY

gif credit

Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader

Summary: Buck never thought he could love someone like that. Especially not someone with the same death wish love as him.

Warning: Anxiety crisis, near-death experience, hospital, crying, ansgt.

Word count: 2.5K

a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.

Masterlist

................................

You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.

The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You weren’t used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.

That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?

You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.

To Bobby you were a cause of concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buck’s.

The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buck’s mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.

"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.

"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.

You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?

The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.

It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.

You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.

Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.

And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.

Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.

Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.

Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday ‘cause he knew you were going to do it alone.

Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.

*

It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?

"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.

You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.

You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.

"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, I’ve got you" it was Buck.

His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?

He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.

"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.

"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"

*

The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.

Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.

Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.

You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.

But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.

But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobby’s office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.

"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.

Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.

"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"

"I know"

"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."

"I know."

Buck couldn't lose you.

You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.

A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.

"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"

You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.

"Buck, I-"

Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.

I love you.

The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.

"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."

It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.

"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.

It was a call for help.

You could have sworn it was a call for help.

"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"

"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"

Your vision was blurred.

I love you.

You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.

It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.

I love you.

“It’s empty” you murmured at the radio.

Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.

I love you.

His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.

I love you too, Buck.

The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.

This couldn't be happening. No, no.

Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.

Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.

Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.

Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.

Buck couldn't lose you like this.

"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.

Buck's heart could stop any second now.

But the building was collapsing.

He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.

Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.

You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.

*

You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.

Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.

"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"

"I almost lost you today"

Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.

"I'm sorry"

Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.

"I was terrified of losing you. I'd die if I do."

"I would never leave you"

"Promise?"

"I love you, Buck. And I'll love you to death"

"Please don't let it be soon"

You smiled. No one had ever loved you like that.

"It won't."

[writingstoraes]

hello! for the ig imagine, can i request charles with a medical student reader? maybe she's in her final year before residency and even though charles has no clue about medic he still tries to help her with studying. thank you!

patient 🩺

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!medstudent!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: whew being a pre med student ngl this fueled my delusions a lil (jk) anyway i hope u like this, anon 🤍 thank you so much for requesting! i also tried to stick with ig posts since its been so long since i did one thats mostly ig posts hehe

about: supportive charles and his future doctor of a girlfriend!

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, isahernaez, franciscagomes, and 21,991 others

yourusername officially on my last hospital duty before graduation! can't believe i have spent 4 tiring yet meaningful years of medical school, still feels unreal. couldn't have done it without the love and support of the people i hold dear to me 🤍

charles_leclerc So proud of you, amoùr 😘 Je n'ai jamais douté de toi. I never doubted you

yourusername thanks for being my first patient, baby <3

pascale_leclerc Congratulations, dear! We miss you!

carlossainz55 The group finally has a doctor! That means unlimited recklessness 😎

pierregasly Remember how we always wanted to try riding a bike on the roof

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, arthurleclerc, carlossainz55, and 50,223 others

yourusername a seperate appreciation post for the love of my life — who's witnessed all my lowest lows and highest highs. despite his own busy schedule, he still managed to fetch me from uni/hospital, prepare breakfast for me, and even help me study.

i guess i owe you a ton for all the cancelled dates and postponed plans, charles_leclerc? 💋

ps. the second picture is charles asleep on my shoulder after he helped me study three subjects for a major exam that went on for HOURS. i think i underestimated just how much he loves me :)

carlosluvr GOD i need me a charles right now its bad enough my pre med is killing me

hamiltonmerc Charles out here setting standards ridiculously high there really is just one of him huh 🤨

charles_leclerc Would do anything for you and you know that ❤️ (Honestly got to a point where I memorized some of what you were studying)

carlossainz55 Woah there Mr. Doctor?

charles_leclerc I think I can give you an injection now, mate 😄

carlossainz55 No thanks I still love my life

charles_leclerc

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen, arthurleclerc and 1,445,211 others

charles_leclerc So incredibly lucky to be with someone as intelligent and hardworking as you. I promise to be with you every step of the way in full support and ready to shower you with love ❤️

Kinda afraid of needles but if you need to practice, I'm always available. Wake me up when you need someone to quiz you or make you coffee. I love you even when you're frustrated when you're practicing your sutures.

tagged: yourusername

charlossf23 You're telling me Y/N has Charles and all I got from medical school was anxiety

yourusername still need you when i study for the boards

charles_leclerc Working on the flashcards already, chèrie 😘

supermaxmax THE FLASHCARDS ARE SO REAL

pierregasly Carlos and I are on the roof tell Y/N to bring her medical supplies

yourusername please get down from there

charles_leclerc added to his instagram story!

-------

tagging: @slytherheign

notes: god pre med is hard wish i had someone like charles 😔 i hope you liked this, anon! thank you so much for reading 🤍

[0lshadyl0]

Hiya! I saw request were open! So hear me out. What if, the reader s/o, darling, whichever you may call it, what if the reader managed to act get unlucky enough to be bought by a Celestial Dragon? 👀👀👀? But more so, with Yandere Boa Hancock? (headcannons) it'd be interesting to see what you'd think she'd do, seeing her beloved go through what she did. Also would you mind adding yandere Sabo and Ace to that list? Tell me if you don't wanna write this, I'm honestly just tryna see what you'd think they'd do :P. Thank you and bye~! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o XOXO(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

 Yandere reaction of s/o bought by a Celestial Dragon

Since I'm feeling generous, I'll make it possible for the darling to be rescued and have a happy ending with their yanderes, but if you want the bad ending, send another request.

Boa Hancock

When the news reaches the Pirate Empress that her Darling has been captured and not only that, but that she has been sold to celestial dragons, she will feel as if the world is falling apart around her and flashbacks of how much she suffered during her years of slavery will come back to her head, which will make her collapse to the ground while being comforted by her sisters while she is consumed by helplessness after all she still has not overcome her traumas with those people. But when she manages to react again, she will have to be stopped by Marigold, Sandersonia and Gloriosa (you know, Grandma Nyon) because without thinking twice she will try to leave Amazon Lily alone to rescue her beloved.

When she comes to her senses again, because even if she wants to, she can't take on what is technically the entire world government alone, she will turn to the only person she feels could go against the Celestial Dragons and win, obviously I'm talking about the Mugiwaras (especially Luffy, well Boa was just thinking in Luffy)

And we all know that this little group is always willing to save whoever it is, no matter who they have to face, in fact, they would help even more because everyone hates the Celestial Dragons (remember Sabondy and Camie's kidnapping, Luffy's punch was epic)

So with the help of the Mugiwara (I'm thinking we're already out of the Wano arc), Luffy's army (because yes, all his followers that he got in Dressrosa would go to help his yonko) and all the Kuja pirates (only Grandma Nyon and the very young girls who can't fight would remain on the island)

All together they are going to Mary Geoise to do a raid of biblical proportions and while the Mugiwaras and the rest are breaking everything breakable in the government and its people, Hancok will be crazy looking for her dear all over the place while praying to the god Enel or whatever she believes in for her well-being (remember that except for Luffy, I don't think she is romantically interested in another man… unless it's Shanks but we all here know that he is irresistible, he's like Thanos, inevitable XD, I don't make the rules that's like a law in One Piece, I know, Oda told me in a dream)

In those moments she is not Boa Hancock, she is the demon of her fruit manifested in the body of a beautiful woman who will turn you into stone and kick whoever crosses her regardless of whether they are an ally or an enemy until they are less than dust, after all nothing matters more than her beloved, besides, everyone will forgive her because she is beautiful.

When he finds her, she will cry with joy as she will thoughtlessly free her beloved and shower her with kisses until her lips get tired. Then, when the euphoria passes, she will analyze the state she is in. If she is okay, Hancock will thank the heavens for such great fortune, but if she is hurt, her anger will be immeasurable and as she takes her to a safe place, she will have no mercy on any poor idiot who crosses her path.

Honestly, this raid will help take away some of the trauma the Pirate Empress has with the Celestial Dragons when she sees them fall into Luffy's crew hands.

If her beloved were to have a mark of slavery like her, Boa Hancock would cry and the two of them would console each other for the hard event that they both went through, but now that symbol would change in their minds, or rather, in Boa's mind, since it is a mark that unites them, a traumatic event from which they both survived and which is a sign of destiny that nothing can separate them, not even the government or the celestial dragons.

Oh yeah, after this Darling will never be able to leave Amazon Lily again, or even be more than 30 centimeters away from Hancock, she will be very afraid that a similar situation will happen again, good luck trying to convince her otherwise.

Well, I only did the Boa Hancock one, I was going to do the others but the post would be too long and I couldn't explain everything I wanted if I had to do the three characters in the same post, if you still want to know Sabo and Ace's reactions, feel free to leave me another request.

[soapssuds]

Infinity

Yandere ! Gojo Satoru x Female ! Reader

Part 4 | my life

Warnings | death , gojo starts to get a bit delusional , yandere gojo , gojo being salty about y/n's new life , mentions of su!c!de by poison , murder , grammatical errors , etc.

Notes | this fic will be using she/her pronouns for y/n. Also this is a reincarnation fic, so Gojo's name will not be "Satoru" in this part. And please let me know if you want to be in a taglist for this series !! ^-^

Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Infinity Masterlist

year 1120 AD

GOJO SHIRO, at the somewhat middle age of 30, couldn't believe his eyes. His six eyes, dulled a bit due to age, seemed to ignite with a sort of happiness as he looked down at a newborn that his dear daughter wanted him to meet. (As he got older, he was practically forced to marry someone from the clan elders despite him being the lord of the land and head of the clan now. He honestly didn't want to as he saw it as him betraying y/n, but alas, life must go on for the Gojo clan.)

"Her name is Y/n Gojo, isn't she cute?"

Life sure was cruel. Here he was still not dead from his second life and here y/n was already in her third, her second reincarnation. A sort of dark pit settled within him. A seed of pure rage entangled him and took root.

"She is cute," he muttered, but she wasn't supposed to start her second life without me. And she's a Gojo no less, so even if I reincarnated we wouldn't be able to be married together, we would be related to each other for God's sake!

He had to right the wrong.

So, he made a quick decision. A just decision.

"However, she's been cursed."

His daughter paled, "w- what?! Cursed?! But father-"

He held up his hand as y/n laid gently in his arms, "you know the rules as much as I do. That husband must of done something to you during childbirth, or when she was being conceived. You know better than anyone else that the Gojo clan has enemies lurking in the shadows."

"Minako would never hurt her! He loves our little girl!"

"And how can you be sure? You nor anyone else has the six eyes, you nor anyone else can see what I see, and this child is cursed. She'll bring the Gojo clan to ruin if she exists a second longer."

"But father-"

"Enough! If you do not have the will to end this cursed child's life, then I will take it upon myself."

"You can't father! You can't! There must be another way! We can save her!"

His daughter was in hysterics. All she wanted was for her father to finally meet her baby little girl. If she knew this was going to happen, then she would of run away with y/n and Minako in tow.

Urumei was summoned a moment later and had grabbed a tight hold of Gojo's daughter.

"Take her outside while I handle this."

"Of course, my lord."

His daughter could only kick and scream in Urumei's grip. Her wails being heard outside the door and down the hall as Gojo was left with y/n. His six eyes now focused onto the small baby in his arms.

"You're quite cruel for doing this to me, but don't worry y/n, my precious little y/n. I know you didn't have control over where you were born and who you were born too. But you must understand .. if I die and am reincarnated and you're not there, then how will I live? You're my world. And I'm your moon. You said so yourself. We made a deal. Its only fair that we be reincarnated at the same time so that we're together."

He activated hollow purple. And, for a moment, he was glad that she was still asleep. He doesn't think he would be able to go through with it if she were awake, and just as he was about to go through with it. She had opened her eyes. They were a brilliant, bright (color) and his breath faltered. Looking up at him, she smiled and giggled and held out her chubby, small hands up to him. Her fingers making grabbing motions.

He deactivated hollow purple and decided to just come up with the excuse to raise her himself and to "make sure she wasn't cursed anymore and didn't hurt anyone within the clan."

His daughter, when she was brought back in, could only weep and smile at the good news, grateful to her father for not killing her baby. Granted, since y/n was still "cursed" as she and everyone else within the clan were told to believe, then it meant she wouldn't be able to take care of her daughter and instead her father would look after her instead. But she was still happy nonetheless.

And that was how life went for the next fourteen years.

"Father, father, father!"

Now at the age of 44, Shiro could be found carrying y/n around on his back as she would point at the different food stalls, wanting to try all the different kinds of sweets they had.

Now, Shiro was, in fact, her grandfather of course, but he decided to blur the lines a bit on that since he was still young and because his daughter and her husband had passed away tragically in a cursed spirit attack when y/n was only two years old. Many found it odd how he didn't seem phased over their deaths but reckoned that he just needed to focus on caring for his newly made daughter instead.

And y/n simply didn't need to know. Besides, as he said, he was still relatively young so what was the harm in posing as her father figure instead? (Not to mention that he erased anything and everything related to his previous daughter and wife. Hell, he couldn't even remember their names!)

"You want to try that next?"

"Yes, please!"

Much to Shiro's delight, despite living under his doting care she still turned out the same as in her first two lives. Cute, shy, and super adorable. However, she was a bit chubby but that was only because he absolutely refused to see her in a sickly state as she was seen previously in her other lives. And it was nice seeing her so happy. He doesn't remember ever being so happy before with her first two families. Granted, in her second life her mother there was nice but y/n didn't have a father and her mother was always working. Not to mention those bullies were- he seethed a little, that's right. To y/n, this was the only life she lived, but to Gojo he was still in the life where those damn brats killed her.

He tried to clear his mind and focus on y/n instead.

The day went on and soon night fell which meant their usual routine. Y/n would wash up and immediately get dressed in her night clothes and come into his room. He would already be in bed and would pat the spot next to him as she would happily clamber in next to him.

But just before she would fall asleep, he would tap her on the nose.

"Forgetting something?"

She giggled a little as she turned towards him and lifted her head forward. Her lips gently pressing against his cheek as she gave him a tiny goodnight kiss.

"Goodnight, father! I love you!"

He kissed her forehead in return, and hugged her close, "goodnight my sweet angel."

And as she would fall into a deep sleep, he would find himself in discomfort. This was not the life he wanted with her. Not at all.

So he would find himself reaching into the cupboard next to his nightstand. His eyes glinting into the dark when he would find a dark vile. In it was a heavy poison. He knew what he had to do.

Uncorking the lid, he parted y/n's lips and let the liquid slip down her throat.

Now, this wasn't a rash decision, he's actually been thinking of this for quite some time. He couldn't wait any longer to die and to get reincarnated with y/n. He didn't want to be her father figure or even a father to her. He wanted to be her husband. But life was cruel.

It wasn't fair.

not fair

not fair

not fair

not fair

Thats what he always told himself, and he finally went through with it, and making sure that her heart stopped and she was truly dead. He, too, took a swig from the bottle and then promptly tossed the vile out the open window for someone to find while on patrol.

It wasn't fair. He deserved to have y/n as a wife, not a daughter, or as a granddaughter. It only made sense to finally start anew. Besides, she lived a decent life. A decent childhood. He could have killed her as a baby. Oh, he really could have. But he didn't. He let her live.

So, by doing that, he deserves to take that life away too and start again.

He knew they would be reincarnated together this time. Because they didn't end up together. This wasn't their happy ending.

Infinity taglist | @whore-for-hawks @esthelily @huicitawrites @flaming-vulpix

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 6) Chapter Sixteen

Father Figure! Lucifer Morningstar x Teen! Reader

Demon! OC x Reader

Chapter Sixteen: Adolescent Antichrist to Adolescent Deity

Summary: (Y/N) and Lucifer get to live and love.

Mouse Note: I can't believe it. Three years of this story, and it has come to its end. I can't believe. Red and Lucifer and Em and Leon and Olive and Noa and Marcel have been so near and dear to my heart for so long, it's hard saying go. But they have their happy ending. I couldn't be happier for them. And I couldn't be happier for all of you readers and commenters who supported my madness and my fun these last few years. You are all amazing, and I grew so much from the first chapter of Book 1 to this final chapter of Book 6. Thank you so much.

            “So I don’t have to go out like Muriel?”

            “No, you can have your own way of having fun and connecting with your interests,” said (Y/N). “Muriel is apparently a partier—there are other angels who like doing that. If you like quieter things more, then that’s fine. You can read, try tea or coffee, or just go for walks. Try joining a library book club if you’re lonely. Alright, Raphael?”

            “…I suppose that makes sense,” said Raphael. “Thank you, G—Deity.”

            “You’re welcome.” (Y/N) stood from the couch. “Are you feeling better?”

            “I am.” Raphael shifted nervously. “I-I thought you wouldn’t speak to me, but Andriel said you helped her.”

            “That’s what I’m here for,” said (Y/N), smiling. “Now, go and try something new but something that’s in your interests. You can go out of your comfort zone another time.”

            “Thank you. Goodbye.” Raphael smiled, flapped his wings, and disappeared.

            “Another successful therapy session?” said Lucifer, walking into the living room with a cup of tea.

            He handed it to them, and (Y/N) took a thankful sip and sighed happily. They liked helping the angels out—boy did they need a lot of help—but it could also be tiring. After all, (Y/N) was seventeen still. Not for long, but still. There was a lot resting on their shoulders, and it was a miracle (ironically) that they had been doing so well for so long.

            “Yes,” said (Y/N), smiling at Lucifer.

            However, despite it all, (Y/N) was satisfied. There was peace. The angels were only making minor chaos on Earth exploring their individuality (which gave (Y/N) plenty of moments to get rid of their irritation by scolding them), (Y/N) could interfere ever-so-slightly if it felt like the world was about to tip in a dangerous direction (though (Y/N) avoided it since that felt wrong and they refused to actually control anyone since they respected free will—even to make mistakes), and (Y/N)’s life had finally found a rhythm of calm.

            Or, near calm.

            (Y/N) also had graduation and their fashion project to go, and then it was their birthday, and they needed a university to go to, and the angels wanted some sort of coronation or something in the Silver City (which they had already paraded (Y/N) around), and (Y/N) was tempted to escape to another universe at times.

            “I’m glad things are going so well,” said Lucifer. “I admit, I was a bit worried.”

            “You were worried? I was freaking out,” said (Y/N). It was one thing to become the Deity in the moment, but after a long, well-deserved nap, (Y/N) woke up literally glowing and screamed.

            “And yet you have handled the transition with grace,” said Lucifer encouragingly.

            “Grace was telling Jophiel he should try to be more than a frat boy in his life?” said (Y/N) sarcastically.

            “Grace was telling him to find out more about himself,” said Lucifer.

            He was incredibly proud of all that (Y/N) had achieved. He had wanted to be God to protect them, and now…they had grown up. He would always be there for them and help them and support them, but (Y/N) had grown strong and independent. He didn’t need to worry as much. And he was more than happy that they held the power of a God. Lucifer didn’t know of someone more deserving or capable.

            (Y/N) smiled shyly and took a sip of their drink. “How is Michael?”

            “I think the therapy is helping,” said Lucifer. “I suspect it is about family issues—”

            “What else?” grumbled (Y/N).

            “—but he’s seemed…calmer.” Lucifer smiled. “I doubt we will ever be close, but I think he is going to be a better person than he was.”

            “The bar is pretty low,” joked (Y/N), but they were still glad.

            “Indeed.” Lucifer chuckled. “But enough about family—or, Celestial family. We have an event tonight.”

            “What?” said (Y/N), blinking.

            “…Your fashion show?” said Lucifer.

            “Shit!”

            Apparently, being the Deity of Creation didn’t mean they couldn’t curse anymore.

l

            “Okay, everyone’s makeup and hair is done, the clothing is ready, people are sitting down outside, the music is cued, what else, what else…” (Y/N) rambled as they walked around the backstage of their show.

            “Birdie.” Em caught (Y/N)’s hands and squeezed. “Take a deep breath.”

            (Y/N) looked at their partner and breathed in long and slow. They let out the breath, and their shoulders sagged.

            “There you go,” said Em. “It’s going to be fine. Better than fine. The clothes look beautiful. Everyone is going to be in awe. And do you know why?”

            “Because I can just use magic to make it better if something goes wrong?” said (Y/N).

            Em laughed as (Y/N) tried to joke to take the edge off. “Because you worked hard. You don’t need magic or powers or anything else. You worked hard. And that is what counts. Alright? You have overcome every obstacle put in your life, and no matter what the challenge or danger, you’ve risen to it. This is a celebration of that strength. It’s a celebration of you. My Birdie.” She kissed (Y/N).

            (Y/N) smiled and kissed back. “I’m so glad to have you. I know-I know it’s been a lot, me becoming…a deity, but I’m so happy I have you with me. Just like the others, but you—” (Y/N) swallowed. “Emeranne, I love you.”

            Em’s smile widened, and pure adoration was in their gaze. “I love you, too, (Y/N). For all that you are.” They always had.

            Em leaned in and kissed (Y/N) again. For a moment, the world was just the two of them in love. Everything was going to be alright. Because they had each other. Because they had love.

l

            “This is exciting,” said Chloe, smiling. “I’m sure you’re proud of (Y/N).”

            Lucifer nodded and smiled widely. “I am. And I haven’t seen any of the pieces put fully together, so I’m completely in the dark.”

            “Emeranne refused to tell me, her queen, anything,” grumbled Maze.

            “You need to have patience,” said Eve, chastising her girlfriend.

            “They were probably nervous to show you,” said Linda.

            “But I’m always proud of them,” said Lucifer.

            “Yes, but you mean a lot to (Y/N). They want you to be impressed,” said Linda.

            “Then I’ll grin the entire time,” said Lucifer.

            Amenadiel chuckled. “I’m sure they’ll like that.”

            “It’s going to be great. We all know how hard (Y/N) worked on this,” said Chloe.

            “I know.” Lucifer’s smiled softened. “They’ve grown up into such a capable person. I don’t know where they got it.”

            Chloe took his hand and squeezed. “I do.”

            Lucifer smiled at her and kissed the back of her hand.

            The lights of the room went off, and everyone sat up straighter. It was time for the show to begin. Over the speakers, dramatic classical music began. Red lights shot up around the room, casting mysterious shadows over the audience. White lights snapped on to face the stage.

            Marcel walked out first. He had redyed his hair, and the purple was wisteria light, gentle and handsome. On his face, highlighter shone with golden dust, an exaggerated, ethereal feel. But the clothes were what stood out, what everyone was there for. And Marcel wore them proudly.

            It was a suit of pure white. The pants were long and crisply sewn. The top was a button up with a high, lacy collar, and a corset cinched his waist. Overtop it all was a long white cloak, and down the edges were golden stitches. As it swept by, it was clear that the gold was stars, suns, and crosses. It matched the crosses dangling from his ears and the golden heels he walked in.

            Marcel reached the end of the runway and posed with his hands in a prayer position.

            Lucifer found himself grinning as he watched. (Y/N) had made their clothing be themed on their��life, the different people and beings they knew. Their family. Marcel was playing the angel.

            Olive was next to walk. Her blonde hair had been curled and pinned up so that the front fell messily around her face while the back was a bun of golden waves. The pins were gold with red jewels, glinting in the light. Ruby teardrop-shaped jewels hung from her ears and matched the dusting of red across Olive’s cheeks. Her eyes were dusted with pink eyeshadow, and their lips had the barest hint of redness. It seemed like she was supposed to be sorrowful, and her elegant, ballerina-style steps felt like melancholy drifted with her.

            The clothes hung around her with beautiful somberness. Red billowing sleeves hung from her shoulders and were attached to a halter neck but were free from the bodice of Olive’s dress. It left her collarbone free for a red and gold necklace to highlight the neckline. The dress itself had a simple red corset top with no boning on the outside. White lace died slightly black—as if rotting—lined the top of the bodice, and a similar fade of white-to-black appeared in the ribbons sinching the corset. The skirts of the dress were of the same scarlet, falling long in the back and shortened with stitching and ribbons in the front, achieving an exaggerated Victorian effect. Her exposed legs were clad in red, rose-patterned tights, and the Mary Janes she walked in were white dipped in ink, dripping in darkness.

            Olive reached the end of the runway and lifted a hand to drape it across her face with a sorrowful yet angry expression. With the golden curls and bare collar, Lucifer blinked as he recognized the picture she made. “Fallen Angel” by Alexandre Cabanel. Olive was the fallen angel. Luicfer.

            Lucifer felt his heart stir, and he held Chloe’s hand tightly with emotion as Olive walked back past him.

            Fortunately, the next model took his attention before he was too moved by (Y/N)’s design. They had their black coils of hair flowing freely, and they wore a black, dark-jeweled necklace across their neck. Gloves covered their arms, and an off-shoulder, lantern-sleeved dress of black lace fell from them. Gentle ruffles defined the shape and swayed with every step the model made. It was deceptively simple but beautifully made. The model blew a kiss at the end of the runway and turned with perfect attitude.

            Eve, thought Lucifer. He wasn’t sure how he knew that, but he just did. It was the gentle femininity Eve favored in her clothes, but it had the black and darkness that Eve had found herself enjoying as she finally got together with Maze.

            Eve herself grinned and held Maze’s hand tighter.

            Leon was next to walk. He had lines of gold eyeliner around his eyes flaring out and a black lip on. The simple design of their makeup matched the simple elegance of their outfit.

            It was a long and black. Thick borders lined the wrists and long necklace. The sleeves and bodice were translucent with gold and black designs stitched overtop. A wide belt defined Leon’s waist, and he had long, loose black pants. Similar golden designs sparkled on top of them. The back of the bodice flowed out into a black cape. It moved like shadows with every step Leon took. As he posed, they made sure to move just so the cape would fly through the air and billow like darkness.

            (Y/N)’s powers. Lucifer smiled.

            Noa walked next. Their braids were piled high on their head with a few hanging down around their face. Golden beads and a few fake coins hung in the braids. They had red eyeliner around their eyes and dark lipstick with red at the center of their lips.

            They had on black shirt with billowing sleeves and ruffled wrists. Sleek black pants were on the bottom, and though both were tailored incredibly well, the best part of the outfit was the corset. It was just around the waist and looked like porcelain—cleverly painted and put together. Gold bonding trailed up Noa’s waist and became an ornamental halter like armor. The part around the waist had red paneling that shone in the light. From the waist hung gold chains with black and gold beads.

            Noa posed with a smirk and a condescending, commanding look around the room.

            Maze.

            Mazikeen herself nodded with a smirk. She was pleased with how (Y/N) portrayed her and saw her.

            The next model wasn’t someone they knew, but the theme continued. This model had nude makeup, but that was because the outfit stood out enough to make it unnecessary to have any more definition.

            It was entirely red, from the jacket to the shirt to the pants. Red and dark scarlet jewels and beading were sewn into the lapels, around the collar, and onto the pants. As the model walked, the light glinted off the red, a beacon of hellish color.

            The Antichrist. Lucifer smiled. He felt it. It was (Y/N)'s signature color

            And now the finale. Em stepped out into the light and shone. Their red hair had slight waves despite its shortness, and gold dusted their cheeks. Her eyes were lined in white with golden eyeshadow, and simple metallic earrings were piercing their ears.

            But the dress. The dress. It was as golden as the light that shone in (Y/N)’s wings. As golden as the light that shone in them and their powers. As golden as a god.

            Em stepped forward. The dress had nude, transparent fabric across their neck and collar to allow for the dress to hand off their shoulders. It was beading around their neckline and became simple, wide sleeves. The dress fell around her like a waterfall of light, hanging asymmetrically down to their ankle. Golden heels glinted as Em walked down. From the straps hanging off their shoulders fell a long gold cape of tulle. It trailed as they walked, and Em glowed as they walked.

            Deity.

            It was breathtaking to watch (Y/N)’s work shine. Everyone just stared in awe as the golden magic of a dress passed by and returned backstage.

            And then each model came out again, one after another, to end the show—angel, the fallen, Eve, shadows, Maze, demon, Deity. (Y/N) emerged at the back. Everyone was on their feet in an instant, clapping. Lucifer grinned proudly alongside the rest of (Y/N)’s family as they walked to the end of the runway with Em at their side.

            They had on their usual outfit, but instead of black they had white. Their loose white pants had patches of red sewn on, and their red crop-top was over a white, translucent undershirt.

            (Y/N) grinned at everyone and bowed. They looked at Lucifer, and a huge pressure lifted from their shoulders as they saw him smiling. He was proud. (Y/N) had done it. They had made something beautiful.

l

            “So it was good?” said (Y/N) nervously.

            “Of course it was!” said Marcel

            “Everyone was entranced,” said Olive, grinning.

            “No one could take their eyes off your designs,” said Leon.

            “All your hard work paid off. The show was amazing,” said Noa.

            “Let’s get a photo,” said Em. “We need to commemorate Birdie’s first show.” Handing their phone to another student, all the models gathered in around (Y/N). “Say ‘Holy!’ ”

            (Y/N) almost glared, but as everyone cheered, they couldn’t help but laugh and grin.

            Click!

            A wonderful moment was captured.

l

            “That was incredible!” Lucifer hugged (Y/N) tightly as they came out as their friends changed backstage. “You are so so so talented! I’m so proud.”

            “Your work is beautiful, (Y/N),” said Chloe, smiling as (Y/N) was smooshed by Lucifer’s hug.

            “Badass is more like it,” said Maze approvingly.

            “I loved the black dress,” said Eve, smiling.

            “Your inspiration was clear, but the way you made it was just…magnificent,” said Linda.

            “It had a lot of love in it,” said Amenadiel.

            “Thank you, everyone,” said (Y/N), smiling at everyone. “I’m very glad you liked it. I really worked hard.”

            “It certainly paid off. It was pure art,” said Lucifer.

            “…I got an offer because of it,” said (Y/N) quietly.

            “What?” Lucifer looked at them.

            “I—Some of the people here work in the fashion industry, and they gave me a card and told me to come and speak to them.” (Y/N) looked at Lucifer. “They weren’t any of your—”

            “No favors here,” said Lucifer. “I have contacts in the industry, but this offer, this amazing skill you have, it’s all you.” Lucifer hugged them tightly as they smiled and teared up. The rest of their family watched happily. “I’m so proud of you, (Y/N).”

            (Y/N) closed their eyes as happy tears fell down their cheeks. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Dad.”

l

            “Getting a moment alone?” said Lucifer. He sat down next to (Y/N) on the terrace while the celebration of (Y/N)’s job/scholarship offer and their show continued inside the penthouse.

            (Y/N) smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Just wanted to get some fresh air.” They looked up at the stars above them. They were quiet as they sat with their Dad.

            “Is it going to change?” asked (Y/N).

            “What?” said Lucifer.

            “Everything. I’m…a deity. You can go to Heaven again. Your siblings are free to come and go from Earth. My friends and I are going to be doing Celestial things and university.” (Y/N) looked at Lucifer. “Everything is changing.”

            “(Y/N), you and all your friends are Celestial,” said Lucifer. “You can come and go from places as you’d like. You’re never far from them or your family.” He smiled. “And especially not me. Never me.”

            (Y/N) smiled and leaned on his shoulder. Lucifer hugged them.

            “Thanks, Dad,” they said softly.

            “You don’t need to thank me.” Lucifer smiled at them. “I’m your dad. I’m always going to be here for you. That will never change.”

            “It’s weird to think that just a few years ago I was just some kid you found,” said (Y/N). “And now I went from an Adolescent Antichrist to Adolescent Deity.”

            “And I went from Devil to Dad,” said Lucifer. He chuckled. “What a pair we are.”

            (Y/N) smiled. “When do you think we became a pair? Father and child?”

            Lucifer considered. “I don’t know. I think I knew you were important to me from the start. The labels…it just came naturally. But I knew I cared from the start.”

            (Y/N) looked back up at the stars with a happy gleam in their eyes. “I think I knew it, too.”

            “I love you, (Y/N),” said Lucifer. “Forever and always.”

            (Y/N) closed their eyes as Lucifer held them tightly and kissed their forehead. They were home. They had their greatest desire—love. “I love you, too, Dad.”

            And love would never change.

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[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, 3x10-The Winter Carnival Episode-Pt 3

Where have I heard an ever so slight variation of this brilliant pick up line before?

I see he's refining his moves. Adding some tweaks. It takes years of practice to turn into the Super Slutbag MegaWhore he will eventually become.

Oh. She actually believes he was talking about homework-homework and not Strip Homework.

Yes, dear. Upstairs. A place that one typically arrives at after ascending a set of stairs.

Maybe she's catching on. Time to bring back my favorite imaginary narrators, the two sports announcers, one is named Bob and one is named Bill. Take it away, fellas. Bill : Bob, I do believe Miss Gilmore thinks Mr.Mariano actually wants to help her with her calculus homework. Bob: Yet, we both know that Mr Mariano here is only thinking about division and subtraction. Bill: Subtracting clothes? Bob: Indeed Bill. But it's going to take alllllll day to remove all those layers! Can they beat the Cockblock?! Bill: Oh mercy! Here she comes barreling through the door! Will they make it upstairs in time?!

Bob: Looks like there will be no Closet Checkers for Jess and Rory today. Bill: His balls have gotta hurt, Bob. Bob: Neon blue, Bill.

You still can't make up your mind, can you? And yes they were until you came along. You ruin everything, you ruiner. Someone secured a day pass to leave The Bubble and went to the mall to buy ol Richard some junk for his birthday. A bathroom scale, a coin sorter, and a tie. A Happy Walgreens Christmas to all! Rory totally one ups her Mommy by revealing that she purchased a much more thoughtful gift for Grandpa. Take the small wins where you can get em, girl.

Here comes a gift that its parents wished they could return to customer service after its birth.

When have you ever been sorry about jack squat, you withered pine cone?

"I could have been doing HOMEWORK with Jess but now I'm here. I really like homework."

Well, you do live in a town of like, 46 people, so.

Mr "I casually strolled into your mother's kitchen unannounced at night to try and fufill my dreams of awkwardly nailing her for 15 seconds before you could catch us" here talking about how awkward it was to discover Rory was home at her own house.

"Getting coffee with Dean" is just a gateway drug to "Agreeing to talk to Dean alone at night in a dark alleyway" I'm afraid there's little hope for her.

How about Rory sits in a chair and you sit on a railroad spike?

Maybe Rory isn't neuro-different and this is just a defense mechanism to weird Dean out and get him to leave.

Sure, why not.

Well, you do kill women's appetites, buddy. (Except Lorelai's). Dean: You look incredibly uncomfortable. Rory: Oh, it's not you, it's just The Situation.

Yeah, it's never Dean, it's always just The Situation. That's a big word for Dean.

I can't be mad at Dean for aiming somewhere in the middle and trying to do something with his life. College, good for you Dean. I'm in favor of anything that will get him out of Stars Hollow.

Seeing he is a 6'4 blob with no personality and a rotating range of interests that come and go with the breeze, I'd be curious what he wants to major in. I mean, softball, reading, the motorcycle, and building cars have all gone by the wayside already, now it's going to be hockey? Mr McKellan writing to the college: Dear Sir: Get this fucknugget out of my class. He's your problem now. Please take him for the love of god.

Rory reacts with mild surprise upon hearing Dean’s four year college aspirations, especially since she thought he was aiming even lower (the two dirtiest words on Gilmore Girls unless it's Lorelai going there and then it's fine are: "community college") You lay off him! Doubting Dean’s academic and sexual capabilities is my job.

Wow Dean, you got to read a brochure? I heard that Rory once tried to read a Yale brochure and Lorelai grabbed it and threw in the trash while screaming SHES GOING TO HARVARD! It was weird. Also, you can read? R; What happened to community college? D: I changed my mind Rory:

The Gilmore Girlies really seem to have a hard time understanding this concept of "changing one's mind".

And he continues, "And all that talk about "you can do more". Jess would never describe Rory giving him books to read as "pushing all those crazy books on him". Dean makes it sound like "books" are some crazy foriegn concept to him, like not being human tree fungus. And she "pushed them" on him. Did she hold a gun to your head? (I mean, he was acting like she had a gun to his head when she tried to get him enthusiastic about visiting the book fair) And because of "all those crazy books" she forced him to read and her lukewarm "you can do more" encouragement, he's suddenly an Educated Dean now, now he wants to go to a four year college. Oh that Rory Gilmore, she's such a miracle worker. Meanwhile Jess is praying for a Miracle Handjob. Rory describes herself as "The Rain Man" of college application requirements and wants to help Dean apply to college, which is funny to me, because she had only just begun the process of applying to more than one college in the last episode because Lorelai had her in the Harvard Chokehold. Not her fault, but she really shouldn't be giving herself any accolades there. And you shouldn't be offering to help Dean with, like, anything. Let him figure it out on his own. Jesus, Rory.

Said literally nobody ever in the history of time except Rory this one time. Dean wanted to call Rory earlier to tell her about these mediocre dreams of his, but he couldn't, because of you know, The Guy. I'm sorry Dean, you need to make a friend who is NOT Rory and NOT her MILF Mom. Get a gerbil to talk to or something. You mean to tell me you haven't made any friends from all these sports and hobbies that you get involved in for 1-3 episodes? Let's see how Rory throws Jess under the bus to placate Dean! R:You still could have called me. D:I can't get over how weird it is. I go from seeing you every day to not seeing you every day. I got used to talking to you every day. It's a hard thing to let go of. R: (sadly) I know. Me too. D: Can we be friends? R: (perking up) REALLY? I want to! I really want to! D: Don't ask me how I'm going to deal with HIM. I have no idea. R: Okay. D: Let's take this slowly. "Dealing" with Rory's new boyfriend is something you're gonna have to work on, you skunk. Listen to me, you two sneaky dirtbags. You both SUCK. I feel like this conversation is so low down and dirty and disprectful to poor Jess, even though he may not know everything that happens and what is said when he's not around and even though Rory is just placating Dean like she always has. Enough is enough Rory. Grow a fucking spine already.

(As an aside: she’s always so concerned that random townies will notice her business and spread gossip, but she’s not concerned that someone will see her conversing cozily with Dean over custard pies at the bakery and this won’t make it back to Jess?) I do not like how Rory is treating Jess already, and their relationship is only three episodes in. Arghhh. Salty is pissed!

[bestworstcase]

do you think it will be significantly harder for oz to reconcile with salem’s cause than the rest of rwbyjnor? with the way things are going i can see how the kids could get there but i’m so curious to see how oz will react. even if he is opening up more now, it’s a whole other thing to go back on the mandate and shift his view of salem after how long it’s been.

honestly i think the hardest part is already over in that none of it is buried anymore. for thousands of years ozma wore himself deeper and deeper into this rut, methodically cutting salem out of history until he had nearly absolute control over the fact of her existence. and then he locked the proverbial tower and threw away the key.

he had no plan.

like, prior to the fall of beacon, ozpin was just rotting. he dissociates through all of V1 and only wakes up when qrow alerts him that salem has "pawns" at beacon. and—look.

beacon academy—the school ozma built—is modeled after salem's father's castle. the headmaster's office is in her tower.

what does that tell us about how ozma conceives of himself, how he feels about his task, about what he really wants?

then the lost fable happens. ruby asks what ozpin is hiding, and jinn tells his whole story. he's made to relive it all over again, see himself make these choices once more. (he sees himself tell the god of light no. he hears himself say "that world just isn't as dear to me without her." he sees her tell him the truth—the gods ended the world—and he sees himself choose to tell her nothing, because he didn't trust her, and keep making that choice for years.)

thennn he spends months boiling in self-hatred and guilt before finding the wherewithal to climb back up and try again. he returns with a narrative monologue about fear, and rising above fear:

"fear of growing closer to someone; a subsequent fear of loss. fear of failure. and, as more people depend on you, those fears can take on greater power. but... fear itself is not worthy of concern; it is who we become while in its clutches. will you be proud of that person? will you forgive them? will you understand why they felt the need to do the things they did? will you even recognize them? ...or will the person staring back at you be the very thing you should have feared from the start?"

i wonder

what he might be thinking about, there.

anyways, consider the lyrics of 'until the end':

To live free or die, it’s all the same The enemy was right, there’s no reclaiming In waves of shame We’re desperate to make amends But through a simple soul we lie complacent Love brings us dreams But grief makes the heart burst at the seams As light fills my eyes I’ll picture me beside her And pray that I’ll inspire I promise I’ll be here until the end I promise I’ll be here until… ...Our story has been told Til our bodies break down every door Til we find what we’ve been looking for And stare with pride into the face of fear In our finest hour, I’ll be standing here

and also consider the way 'fear' lists his, er, fears:

We live in fear that we might fail Fear that we'll succeed Fear that we may not provide The things our loved ones need

in waves of shame, we're desperate to make amends.

and, we live in fear that we'll succeed.

ozma believes that the only way to save the world is to destroy salem. the only reason he agreed to return to the world at all was because salem was in it. that world just isn't as dear to me without her.

he's been stuck and stagnating all this time because: 1. he believes everything the god of light told him. 2. he, like salem, believes that the gods will rule against humanity. 3. he's terrified of the world ending. 4. he believes the only way to avoid that is to destroy salem. 5. salem is, and has always been, his reason for living.

he cannot destroy salem because she can't be destroyed. but he also cannot destroy her because given the choice between losing her and losing the world, he would choose her. he already did choose her.

he's afraid to fail. but he's even more afraid to succeed.

the point of contention between him and salem, fundamentally—the reason they're in conflict and the reason they haven't been able to reconcile up to this point—is #1. ozma has faith in the god of light, regards him as the supreme creator, and does not believe that there is any possibility outside of the binary given by the mandate. salem rejects that, utterly.

shatter ozma's faith, and reconciliation becomes possible very quickly, because that is what he wants. it's less that he needs to be persuaded to reconcile with her and more that he needs permission, because right now he has it carved into his bones that doing what he wants will doom the world.

i think salem will actually be the one much more reluctant to reconcile, as opposed to striking a truce with the vacuo coalition, because ozma abused her trust in such a profoundly horrible way and she is very obviously not over it. like... as things stand right now, ozma is straight up pining for her while salem desperately just wants him gone. "why do you keep. coming. back."

[ac-liveblogs]

So I just finished fontaine in one go after I dropped the game mid meropide because it was unbearable...while the last act is better than that (which isn't hard let's be honest) the amount of padding they did in that last story quest is ridiculous...the characters say a whole lot of nothing and things that could've been explained in 3 minutes were drawn out to half an hour because they had Furina act out everything...like I understood what was going on even before that...I understood this must be painful for furina even before that...there wasn't a reason for that stage play. At least stuff actually happened in sumeru but this?!?! What was that just what the fuck...It doesn't help that Fontaine is just also super boring to explore, the entire land feels empty. They took the complaints of sumeru being too dense with chests, enemies and puzzles and went into the extreme opposite with Fontaine having nothing going on....its the first time I was ever super disappointed with Genshins overworld...I can't wait to leave Fontaine.....next year...in 8 months...I guess I will finish persona 5 and see what all the talk about star rail is about till natlan

Sorry this turned into a rant I'm just so disappointed with Fontaine as a whole

Yeah, Fontaine really feels like killing time until the stuff they really care about - Furina's suffering and how cool Neuvillette is.

And then how cool Skirk is.

I think what gets me about how sad Furina and how cool Neuvillette is... is that Genshin made their relationship one of the emotional pinpoints of act 5 without bothering to establish what they are to each other. Am I supposed to care that Neuvillette chose to help humanity after Focalors just looked directly and the camera and said "I planned to make you care about humanity" and that's all the buildup that payoff ever got? Why did Neuvillette even agree to come in the first place?

What else gets me about the Sad Furina On The Stage is that we got a long extended cut of her pretending to be the Archon doing things we mostly already knew she was doing, but... Genshin didn't want to spend time on how she met Neuvillette, the Oceanid-Humans as a concept, the Dubiousness (alleged) of the courts, Arlecchino or even much of all about the House of Hearth...

There was so much stuff in Fontaine that just wasn't paid off on that could've been, and I'm so disappointed by all of it. Fontaine is theoretically so cool and interesting, and this is what we get.

I really genuinely believe Genshin isn't very interested in anything except its lore and some of the characters directly connected to it. Because dear god, how else do you explain all of that.

[araneitela]

[META] + Violins

Prompt: [ Meta ] plus a word, equals a HC. // @findcasket

You mean the concept of humanity wrapped into an instrument? Alongside the piano, I swear that it's one of the most 'fragile' sounding instruments in terms of the level of emotion that it portrays alongside the accuracy with which it does it. Dear god, the moment that I saw this woman acting out her little violin performance while chaos was breaking out all around her, I knew that her fingers were already expertly wrapping themselves around me. Any way, I digress.

I'll forever remember looking into the notes of someone's playthrough of HSR's first scenes, which is just something I like to do because you never know what kind of little treasures you might find in there. And there was a violinist tucked away in there, who I'd also seen in the notes of her main trailer, commenting on the intense accuracy of the movement of her fingers in it. And then on top of that, how they've usually been let down by the details when other games have tried to simulate it as well, but it was more so done to iterate how intentional this must've been for Hoyo to have focused on its accuracy so much.

So in that sense, I think it's close to a given that she knows how to play it, similarly to how I believe that she is someone who also plays or has played the piano. Where I differ however, is that I don't believe that she actually owns a violin at present, nor is she seeking to obtain one by her own means. Moreover, what and where I think the 'mimicking' comes from, actually, is from her memories and the emotional attachment that she once held for these instruments in them. Kafka's character, to me, revolves around and thrives within two concepts, that of intimate longing and that of loss (the pearl earring, the broken winged butterfly pin, and Blade's character story to name some) which plays intricately into the former. Now for me, her connection to the violin and the piano (primarily the former) play wonderfully into representing both of these, and thus can be drawn into these prevalent topics across the board for her incredibly easily. In simple terms, I think that there is a sense of longing to play them. Now, I feel confident in noting that Kafka does not come across as one who, if she had access to (in this case) a violin of her own, that she would crave to play it so intensely all the time, that when drawn from it for even the briefest of time, that she would enact the part of playing one during her separation from it. No, I think she's actively choosing not to obtain one, for one reason or another. Perhaps it's a memory that plays into the loss that her character seems to stray towards, or perhaps it's a lack of something else; I don't quite yet dare say. But there's something oddly wistful about it, if you look past the surface. All in all, I think her little moments of mimicking and humming, makes for an incredibly interesting "little" tidbit to me. It reminds me of something I wrote in an older post last year:

(...) And yet, and yet, I actively think if she were to find herself in a hotel room, even on her own, and there would be a piano right there— I can see her fingers tracing over the keys so very clearly, even as if she were touching the keys to play and yet she would never press down.

I still stand by this to this day. It's the ache to do something again, and yet for one reason or another, you can't bring yourself to do it. Whether it feels wrong, or there's something missing, something or someone; it doesn't matter, it's a longing of some kind. It really is the overarching topic and/or concept that I see in her character, and the fact that she's tied to such an inherently fragile instrument, only further solidifies it in my brain. But in that, I also feel a deep sense of melancholy when I think of her and that violin. And it plays into all of this, of course, but also the fact that I genuinely see no evidence in canon at present that tells me that she has one, and we know she could obtain one if she so wanted to, but she doesn't. Which tells me, on some level, that she doesn't want one. Which then has me entertain the concept of... if one were gifted to her, would that be different? Would that offer the person who gifted it to her a glimpse that no one else could ever get? The answer is a very likely yes, but I can't see it being gifted by most by any means; it'd need to be by someone who could come to grasp the significance of one, put in the appropriate research, who would know where to go, who to speak to, where to find the significance. And that, isn't most people.

[black-rose-writings]

Watching Shadow and Bone Season 2: Episode 4 - I don't like how far we are in the timeline already

Last one, then I'm going to bed. Not worth messing up my finally normalising sleep pattern for this shit of a show.

Love the intro. Yes, please, tear Ravka down, if you wish to do so.

I hate Vasily, but that is a fair reaction.

I notice an interesting change in the dynamic here. This is Nikolai's turf and they're discussing it over dinner, insetad of being marched into the throne-room and looked down upon by the King.

Less than year... If I have the timeline right, it's been barely half a year.

Also, Zoya of all people is one to talk. I mean, she's tellingthe truth, for once, but like...

So... if the ugly uniform the Queen's idea? Like, sure, I guess, but why the fuck would Alina choose to wear it later?

And I see Baghra is back to being preachy.

Ah, yes, the Fold is the reason people hate Grisha. Definitely no pogroms happening before that happened. And Kirigan will definitelly stop trying to change the world if its gone.

And I see the "West Ravka" plot has been forgotten.

Alina "My responsibilities start and end with tearing down the Fold" strikes again. And Vasily is watching her... making out with her boyfriend. Dear Saints, if he's going to accuse her of being a traitor because she's kissed another guy, I think he'll have to execute his own mother, too.

I like this Alchemi kid. And Baghra's being preachy again.

"Endured years of abuse at your orders". Genya had her agency. Had being the operative word, because she unfortunately became popular and that necessitated that be removed.

"Everything I learned, I learned at your knee" Finally, someone said it.

"Redemtion" my ass. Still don't know what exactly she imagines under those words.

Well, that's a change from taking four whole episodes to kill a person.

I guess everyone believes in the Saints, now.

I mean, I guess we have to have a fake plague somehow without Nina being maimed by drugs.

Ah, yes, the two options: Evil villain and sunshine idiot.

Dear god, I wish he was a spy. Unfortunately, autistic people make for terrible liars.

"There's always a cost" he says as if he knows anything about it.

Dear lord... I... I think I know where the crows are headed.

The Crows are going to be heisting the fucking sword from Amrat Jen. Fucking calling it now. I have seen no spoilers.

Called it. It would have been more impressive if it hadn't been like 2 minutes later, but this show presumes the viewers have no concept of memory, so they can't really bring it up once and then bring it back an episode later.

I'm like 90% sure Nina is faking betraying him, but okay.

Now, that sounds like a trap if I've ever heard of one.

Or not.

This was a good scene in the book and they've made it good in the show. No complaints here.

Except maybe that I still have trouble deciphering the fucking Irish accent, but that's on me.

Wow, would you look at that, a previously unadressed plot point we're bringing back.

I mean, that's one way to distance Alina from the monarchy so her stance is not as dumb, but like... the show needs to pick its villains and stick to them. I hated getting constantly hit with "Well actually" in Fate and I will hate it here. I have absolutely 0 faith that the show will actually make this work out in a remotely satisfying way.

Oh, look, corsets suck joke.

Also, like... Alina, I don't think insulting the crown prince is a good idea. But given that we're deaing with Alina "I like to give big men with guns lip" Starkov, I shouldn't be expecting a sense of self-preservation.

Pekka's getting what he deserves.

Very awkward crush confession.

Oh, they did actually bang previously.

Wow, look at that, Kaz is being snarky about *checks notes* a slave he just freed being concerned about slaves.

Okay, nevermind, Alina really went for the first army chic on her own. She's really commited to Grisha assimilation.

I am not a make-up expert (in fact, I don't know jack shit about it), but I'm not a big fan of Alina's make-up in this scene. IDK what it is, it just kinda rubs me the wrong way. I think it's the lipstick.

"Coming from you that means a lot"... what? Why? What does she know about ruling? Like, yes, I just don't think her input in private is all that valuable.

Vasily deserves to get his arm ripped of by the Nichevoya. In fact, it can't come soon enough.

Just on time.

Yes, please, have the confrontation.

Baghra? Protecting anyone but herself? I mean, everyone else is being remade into a better person, why not her?

That's some weak-ass table, if she's able to break it.

"You obsession with the Fold is naive" my man is spitting facts.

"We're going to change the world" "That is never going to happen" So you do admit change is evil and only morally correct choice is perpetuating the status quo. I mean, I knew that already, but sure.

The Fold? The Fold is the only thing he has left? Okay. I personally think you're full of shit, but sure.

I personally prefer the book version of this confrontation... that one was intimate and she had a goal and an agency.

I didn't agree with that goal (sacrificing herself to destroy Aleksander), but it was a goal, it was intention.

I'm honestly angry I kinda want to watch another episode to see what more they fuck up, however... I should really go to sleep. I'm cooking tomorrow and I'd rather not hurt myself because I'm sleep deprived.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Don't Get in the Way” based on Psalm 133 and Romans 14:13-23

Every year when we prepare for World Communion, we ask ourselves where in the world our hearts are already extended. Which of our siblings in faith are we thinking of the most right now? Whose plight are we especially worried about? The whole world is hard to focus on – its just too big - but when we notice the reality of some of our siblings who are struggling, the compassion we send out to them helps us extend our compassion to the world.

This year we knew that our siblings in Western North Carolina and the whole swarth of the US Southeast impacted by Hurricane Helene hold our heartstrings. But so too do the Gazans, the West Bankers, the Lebanese, and those living fear in Israel. We hold the Ukrainians near and dear, but know was well that Russian citizens are struggling in the war path. Gaza and the Sudan are in the midst of catastrophic hunger, as are the Democratic Republic of Congo, Afghanistan, Yemen, and Syria.

So, given all that, we still listened to our hearts and let them lead us to our neighbors in the Southeast first and foremost. I looked up Western North Carolina bread and discovered Appalachian salt rising bread. It is a bread with a history of struggle – believed to be created by pioneer women on what was then the frontier who needed ways to help bread rise as they moved west. This is, of course, a story complicated by the fact that Native Americans lived in the lands they moved to – and there is an irony that the bread itself is made with ingredients that the European decedents moving west wouldn't have known about if not for their Native American neighbors (cornmeal.)

We set the table to reflect those without abundance, even as we believe in God's abundance. We thought about those who might not have tables, or whose tables likely lack tablecloths. We thought of those who now lack water, and may be drinking from bottled water for months.

Compassion has a way of leaking out. Because even as we think about those with damaged water systems, we thought of others who never had access to water, and of refugees trying to fill canteens along their way, and of those living in droughts, and of those whose water systems are unsafe... and the table expanded.

We picked one bread, even when sometimes we fill the altar and the table with bread and wheat in abundance, even when one bread can't represent all the breads of the world, because while God has made abundance, many can't access it. Some because of natural disasters, some because of human disasters, some because of the structures of human society. But also, one bread may represent all bread just as well as 10 or 20 do, because humans are SO diverse, and we make food in a lot of different ways. I didn't know about this Appalachian Salt Rising Bread, and I've lived in the Appalachians for almost all my life. (I'm told Western New Yorkers may be familiar with it in some cases.)

Paul, in Romans, admonishes the followers of Jesus's Way to avoid judgment and avoid hindering each other. I've always been particularly fond of this passage, and the way it acknowledges different places people may fall on their faith journey. Someone may need to avoid alcohol to be whole, if so, don't tempt them with alcohol. Someone may need to avoid meat to meet their moral conscious. If so, feed them without giving them meat. If possible, avoid drinking alcohol or eating meat in front of someone who needs to abstain. Let people be faithful as they need to be faithful but most importantly DO NOT GET IN THEIR WAY.

I like the pragmatism of it, and the open-mindedness. I also adore the reminder not to judge, including not to judge how someone chooses to be faithful.

It fits this World Communion mindset of remembering how different we are. Some denominations will set their tables with wine – we don't to make our table accessible to alcoholics, but each tradition has its value. Some will kneel at a rail, some will gather for actual meals, some will receive God's gifts in groups, and the words of blessing will be offered in so very many different languages. And yet, in all the differences, one table remembering God's love as known though Jesus.

Psalm 133 nails it.

How very good and pleasant it is    when kindred live together in unity!

Amen, and may God help make it so, and may we help too! Amen

October 6, 2024

Rev. Sara E. Baron 

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 

Pronouns: she/her/hers 

http://fumcschenectady.org/ 

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

[pain-suffering-even]

Hey um... 👉👈 do you have any other... uh... religious trauma hcs? Specifically for Izawa?!?! I definitely won't go feral if you post some :'3

hm... i don't have anything off the top of my head for him, but i'll whip up something real quick. i already have a few head canons for him, which i'll just mix into this, but i'll try and keep it as plain as possible for anyone to add on/be able to input what they think <3

content warning for religion/religious trauma and mention of oc character death and internalized homophobia/transphobia (very brief mention)

i would guess he's about 20, maybe 21 now - so he would be young when the gates appeared, 10 or 11. around this time he would maybe start leaning a bit harder into his faith since he's young and is terrified about what is happening. not to mention he would also be reawakened as an S ranker

for about several years, he'd ask god to protect his sister and his family - while he doesn't have a good relationship with his dad, he still sees him as a human being and values his life, and his step-mom has always been kind to him and gave him a sister, and later on, a brother

(if you really wanted to add in angst, his step-mom or step-sister could die in a gate break related incident - that could be the thing that really breaks his faith)

there are things that happen in canon, tragic incidents known world-wide because of the sheer amount of death and destruction. Kamish, Tokyo's Red Gate Incident (not canon; i whipped it up for goto ryuji's backstory), and all around any tragic stories involving people being lost or dying in gates would continuously shake his faith

coupled with the teenage angst hormones, his outlook on religion might do a 180 as he gets older - while he still believes in god/a higher power, its clear whatever he's praying to doesn't value human life

around this time he would be attempting to move out on his own, since his home life would be getting progressively shittier with time, only making him more and more frustrated

he would definitely feel guilty as well, because as an S ranker, he can definitely stop all of this death, but he can't do anything because he's still technically a child

(also - i headcanon ippei as being born intersex, which i know is out of left field, so i'm just going to mention it briefly - his gender/sex/all that would cause conflicted feelings about his faith as well, because he wants to trust god, but he also feels as though he's wronged him by being born the way he was - internalized homophobia/transphobia and all that)

in the present, he would probably hold grudges against god for not being there or not intervening. he might sit down for a prayer out of instinct/as a last resort before a tough gate or something similar - it would be tough for him to break old habits, as much as he doesn't like it

so... there you have it! growing up close to god, feeling betrayed and abandoned when shit got real, yet still reluctantly believing in god and praying/talking to him despite also feeling anger and resentment towards him. (and, an optional splash of internalized homophobia and transphobia or a dear family member dying due to a gate for maximum angst)

[lulupen2023]

Bells' secret diary 1/7

So far on ao3 this has been an epic fail, so let's try here, too:

this fic was born thanks to a challenge in an Italian group: choose a character and go introspective writing his diary. Two rules: it must start with a 1st April and it can't have more than seven entries. So... guess which is the character I picked up?

whichever could be the pairing then? ;P

it's 1992, welcome to Teignmouth: Summary:

What if Matthew kept a secret diary since his very first meeting with Dominic till the birth of Muse and all its consequence? And what if said diary wasn’t just about music? This work participates to the 'FirstApril' challenge of the group @Non solo Sherlock - FB multifandom events group

Disclaimer: I don't own/know Muse, least of all Matthew Bellamy (but it's fun trying to get inside his young, bwilliant head, lol), it's all totally invented (save for what it's true in Wiki, articles, interviews and books) and I earn less than nothing from it And, of course, the title of this fic is taken from the lyrics of the beautiful 'Unintended' by Muse I: 1st April 1992

Teignmouth, My house, 1st april 1992

If I write it then it’ll come true: I, Matthew James Bellamy, will have a band with worldwide success! Huh, did I say 'worldwide'? Planetarium, we will be the first band to play on the Moon!

After all, with you I can allow myself to talk big, right? You are my diary, starting from today, because I have decided so.

Finally what I thought was a useless gift from my brother Paul last Christmas makes sense.

You will be my confidant, dear Diary, that's what average people call you most of the time isn't that? I will tell you all my deepest thoughts.

And I'm just starting today because something epic happened.

I've been playing the guitar for a few years, the piano for practically more than half of my life and I'm still not part of any band, not stable at least... but today something has changed.

I mustered up the courage to go to Dominic Howard, who is so popular and can play so well, both drums and guitar.  

I've been so stupid for all these months, blocked by bloody prejudices that have turned out to be unfounded: I thought he was an arrogant, that he liked to show off, that he would be extra elusive ... but no, he's the most available and kindest person in the world.

I asked him if he could give me some guitar lessons to improve myself, I was sure he would refuse, but not only did he accept, with a big smile, (I'm starting to believe that boy always smiles and risks dazzling you when he does, next time I'll I'll meet him wearing sunglasses!) but he also said that he just needs one more guitarist for his band, Carnage Mayhem, isn't that a really cool name? And so, in a way, now I can consider it my band too, don't you think?

Well yeah, it's not like he's said yes yet, he just said he's looking for another member and he'll audition for me tomorrow after school... a real audition, like professional musicians, so cool! But I will try all my very best, he must understand that I am the right element to complete the band!

You know, I'm generally a cosmic pessimist about everything, but this time I allow myself the luxury of expressing some optimism and already consider myself one of them.

So… yes, let me say it: I will be part of a band, but this time in a serious way, I'm sure it will last!  

Today is the beginning of something important, I feel it.

Now I have to stop here.

Dominic said he's starting guitar lessons today and he's on his way here and I can't leave my room in total chaos, it’s already more than enough the one in my mind, but at least I can rearrange the room.

You know, Dominic is… I don't think I've ever seen a guy like that… he's blond, yes, but he's really sunny in his own attitude! Oh God… his hair is so long that… maybe he's gay, maybe I'll grow it too, to make him feel less uncomfortable! Arghh what am I doing? I said I had to stop writing to you, there's a devastated room waiting for me!

[kcdodger]

Ásatrú, Gender, Polyamory, and more.

A friend in Port Callahan asked about these things, prompted by the following image, and well. I suppose I can catalogue my journey with heathenry up to this point here, you know?

So, as you probably know, I am a practicing - and learning - Ásatraur. What is an Ásatraur, though? Well, colloquially we're known as Norse Pagans. We worship the Gods known as Odin, Thor, Tyr, Freyja, lots of Gods. Like there are a lot. Also, Loki! Loki gets a bad rep, but he's... Kinda' just a force of change? Like you can't really say "Odin bad Loki good" it does not work that way, that's a Christian-influence simplification. Loki does make for a great antagonist in narratives based on the Eddas though, haha. Anyway, let's get back to it. We mostly just vibe! We don't really actively recruit, we just let people pick up the phone, so to speak. That's what I did. I felt a pull to the Norse Gods as early as 11 years old. That was a... Jam packed time in my life, let me tell you. The first real piece of it was this funny little emblem from Halo 2.

"Valkyrie" This has been my go-to emblem for a looooong long time. The emblem isn't significant in its own way to my religion I don't think, but it stuck with me. What was another piece? Well, any number of things - growing up a curious young boy, curious about the world. The idea of pagans was interesting - and even as a young non-denominational christian, I didn't want to discount folks' religions. I didn't see any reason they couldn't coexist. My dad called me a Pagan for believing that, but, well he would be right eventually.

This is Van. Vanessa Thrace. She was my first attempt at a Truesona, back when I was dating a friend - wanted someone that was closer to me. Both of those things changed at some point, but keyword - changed! They didn't end! Because when I moved here to my dear wife @opashoo, I suddenly was in a Filipino household - a proudly Filipino household. These were second generation immigrants born here from a first generation immigrant. They'd brought back quite a bit from the homeland, culturally. The kids were raised American but the mother is anything but. And I... sort of felt out of place. Over the last few years I'd become immensely disenfranchised with how I was raised - simply American. No heritage. No traditions. Just American. What was my heritage? War, apartheid, glorification of war, consumerism, food, whiteness and an overbearing reliance on Christianity. Fuck that. Fuck all of that dude.

So I asked myself, what do I have? Can't just take any old culture, that's appropriation. But, then I remembered... "Hey, wait. My dad did a genealogy test. He came up mostly Scandinavian. We already knew this but we thought it was scottish ancestry - no, turns out it was Vikings. Huh."

And theeen a loooot of things clicked.

Now in this moment I need to detail something I skipped over.

Oh Kara Thrace, you crazy cunt. You crazy crazy bitch. Definitely one of my biggest fictional crushes ever - Kara Thrace was the baddest bitch on TV when I was a young boy. I'd had a handful of pilot idols, sometimes they were women and all that mattered to me was, "Were they good pilots?" - and Hel the fuck yeah they were. Especially her. Kara's the best pilot. The best fucking pilot ever. Luke Skywalker? Please. Wedge Antilles? As if. Darth Vader? IDK they're pretty supernaturally gifted both of them. Fox McCloud, Han Solo, Spike Spiegel, Hoban Washburn?

All great, but none of 'em are Kara Frakking "Starbuck" Thrace. After all, who could be? Well, that was a worthwhile question to answer. So... I took the name, Kara. I decided it would be my promise to myself. "Live up to the name. Be the best pilot you can be." Even if my Deuteranopia had other plans. For a little while there I was, actually, extremely good and known to be, extremely fucking good.

Oh boy was I ever. Firaxa-1 "Dodger". A name that's gonna' live in a lot of heads for a loooooooong time to come. But that's a story for another day. Well you see, choosing Kara was accidentally... prescient. You see, Kara, really Kára, is a name of Scandinavian origin. It is the name of one of the Valkyries - a particularly tempestuous one. I can relate. They say that it's Italian but... Nah, it's not solely Italian. Well, this was the name I picked. It pretty accidentally lined up with my faith-to-be, so that was really fucking cool. I think I sort of knew though, having played God of War 4 recently and beating every Valkyrie that wasn't named Sigrun. Anyway. With my love's permission - because... Well, we have a lot of loud racists in the Asatru community - I had to make sure sure trusted her new girlfriend with this exploration, and not to get weird and crazy with it. And she did - I got her permission and abandoned Christianity after many years of disillusionment, feeling unwelcome, unwanted, and uncared for by the faith. There's still so much I'm learning. I still haven't read the Eddas. I REALLY need to. But I've celebrated Midsommar, Yule, a couple of times, a couple of Blots, and I personally got my mother in law into Mead - she LOVES the stuff and she doesn't even drink. Anyway. That's how I ended up an outspoken queer heathen. So... What about the subject? Well, here's where Van comes back in.

Van was the one I targeted for heathening up - as, at the time, Sal was in a different kind of slot. So I used Van - who had been a somewhat cynical truesona (Unemployed, played gigs at bars, lived out of a Van, etc.), into something a lot more aspirational. Van stopped being just a Shark, and ended up a Ru, which are the shark folk of my own setting, Beacon.

It was certainly a choice to prominently feature Heathen imagery in Beacon as I continued to develop it, but it was, I think, the right choice. Through Van I explored Ru identity - and now they're Shark Orc Vikings who are kinda' fuzzy, in space. They're also huge. Like, 7 feet tall. (Hilariously, not huge by furry shark standards, but I'm not talking about my gripes with Furry Shark Twitter HERE... Not yet... Not today!) And out comes the chief representative of the people to the audience thus far, as a character. Van had become something more solid in my setting and was a... "Fully realized" me. She's loud, she's boisterous, she's hot as fuck, she's heavy but tough, she's a badass and she's a Valkyrie! She's just cool. And yeah, that's Van. But my relationship to heathenry does not stop there. Because, for you see, I am transgender. I am very very transgender.

And I make no effort to hide that I am a Heathen. I tell people, when relevant, that I'm transgender. At least when it feels safe to. I do not hide that I am MADLY in love with my beautiful wife who is very much not white. I do all these things in opposition to the bastards who try to steal my ancestors' symbols and use them for eugenics, bigotry, hatred, segregation - evil shit. Evil shit that they should NOT be safe for advocating.

There will come a day where someone gets the wrong idea. Maybe they'll think I'm a horrid bigot for wearing these symbols - I wouldn't blame them. I'm over six feet tall, pale as shit, blonde and blue eyed- I'm like, the PICTURE of what weirdos think Viking women should be. lol, too bad for those types, I'm transgender. But, also, like... There'll come a day where some other heathen who wants to stir shit up will figure out I'm not like them, and want to get into a scuffle. I'm ready for both of those things. One can be handled by talking, the other needs some fists. But, yeah. It's part of why I'm so outwardly, loudly, a heathen. Why I wear every single thing proudly. Because if I don't all we collectively are gonna' be known for is hate. We can't have that. Not when we're gaining more members every day, not when we can set good examples, not when we can CHOOSE to oust fascists, bigots, and other bad faith actors. We have to. We cannot let them own what is ours and use it for hate, when our own ancestors didn't give a single shit about genes, about where you were from, what you did - just who you were. And - when I say ancestors, I don't mean blood, I do mean ideological ancestors. I may have blood roots but Ásatrú is for all races, sexuality, genders. But not all politics or beliefs. No sir. Be whatever gender you want, date whoever you want, have as many partners as you want and it's completely fine for beating the shit out of someone who calls you a slur. That's what I, what we, believe in. The original post refers to Ergi, by the way - and it is not a term used lightly. It was a pretty grave insult and saying it made you fair game for getting an axe to the face, so if you did you... pretty much had to be ready to bite the dust. Dunno' about the polyamory, but I'm pretty sure our Gods aren't pearl clutchy about several partners. The Aesir and Vanir got busy wildly in the Eddas. Anyway, hope this is clarity enough. Glory to the Allfather - and that's ALL father, not SOME father.

[calmthefuckdownalright]

"A little bit of what I earned"

A/N: yes the title is that one creepy line that Wilbur hates singing in 'Your New Boyfriend'. Fight me! Also not all warnings posted will be in the specific post that is being read. No warnings might not be used in the part! They're there so you can know that this whole series experiences this throughout the parts if you're uncomfortable with reading them 👍.

Warnings (Full Series): Cursing, violence, abuse, PTSD, grief, kidnapping, gore, death, explosives, possession

Setting: Outside of Pogtopia

Time Frame: Immediately after Part 1

Genre: 🌷fluff with some 🍃 angst

Pairing: C!Wilbur Soot x Fem!Reader (confirmed Relationship)

AU: Front Lines of L'manberg Rewritten

Note: Also I have a HC that Wilbur uses certain nicknames for stages of relationships. 'dear' for the start out of a new relationship, 'Darling' once he gets especially comfortable with you since it seems like a more private or endearing term though he uses it freely, and 'Love' for his fiance or spouse. Ofc S.B.I being how close they are and the canon family relationship knows this system of his. I'll have a separate post explaining my full reasoning behind it out later.

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"Y/N I think I want to marry you..."

You pulled off of Wilbur's chest quickly. Quick enough to clip his nose with your neck where he rested quietly before saying the words that enacted your reaction.

"Owww" he rubbed the feature as you stuttered over syllables.

"Wh-wha-what do you mean?!" You panicked. Marriage?! "Why?!" You said alarmed. Was he okay? You pressed the back of your hand to his forehead. No fever.

"Because Darling," he gently grabbed your wrist and brought your hand to feel his beating heart. It was steady with it's rhythm. Not a single misbeat of fear or doubt. "I love you more than I ever thought was capable of happening to me."

Wilbur changed position to where one knee rested in the grass and the other was propped up as one would when proposing.

"When I thought of you dying today, of Schlatt taking you away, of even EXISTING without you," You stared into his eyes, tears threatening your own. "I couldn't breathe. God, Y/N, it was so painful." His voice cracked.

"I realized then that dying a thousand deaths would be a better option than being without you." Wilbur grasped both your hands now, the one he hadn't already had held had wandered up to your mouth aimlessly. "I love you F/N (full/name), and I couldn't bear letting you go."

"Wilbur," you choked on your words. "Wil you're gonna make me cry." You sniffed and couldn't help the smile twitching at your lips.

"You don't have to answer me now, but please Y/N, consider it." Wilbur pleaded, his brow turning upwards as his smile faltered ever so slightly.

"We've been together hardly a year Wilbur. If even half one!" You exclaimed.

"Please Y/N, I know this! Just think about it. You know how I feel now, and I can only hope that you feel just as passionately about me." Wilbur brought you to your feet as he stood. He brushed a thumb over your cheek and kissed your hand wrapped in his.

"Please." He said again, his voice cracking slightly before he cleared his throat and looked at you again. "I can't lose you again."

You hugged him then. Around his neck and he bent to make it easier on both you and him. The man gets cricks too you know!

"I'll think about it Wil." You agreed and felt his arms loop around your waist as the silent melody of nature guided the two of you in a slow sway of dance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morning broke above the leaves and you grumbled and curled tighter against Wilbur's side. His arm shifted against your back and an intake of breath raised his chest which only made you awaken more. You carefully sat up, cautious not to bother your sleeping boyfriend. Perhaps fiance as you thought about his offer from the night.

You almost thought it was a dream. Part of you believed it.

"it hasn't even been a year. How could he be thinking of marriage already?"

Your mind argued with itself over the situation.

"He had a child with a fish when he was hardly an adult. That's just how he is."

"At least he thinks you're the one for him and isn't afraid to say it."

"He's just reacting under pressure the war is getting to him. Schlatt is getting to him. He's acting on impulse only at this point. He can't actually be ready for this?"

"Don't you want it too though?"

You looked back on the memories of the fantasies you'd built up with Wilbur. Each walk and deep conversation pulling you further down into the pits of love. It was intoxicating to be around him. Exciting and like drowning each time he smiled or laughed or winked. There was no doubt in your mind that you loved Wilbur Soot with all your heart. Your soul. Your being.

There was no doubt you'd go to the ends of the Earth for this man. So why not to the altar? By the time you'd thought everything over again and again Wilbur began to stir beside you.

"Love? Everything okay?" He asked raspily. His rare in appearance sleepy voice rumbling deep in the air.

"God daaaaaaaammmmmmnnnnn it!" You thought and couldn't help the heat rising to your cheeks. If there was one thing you would enjoy immensely above everything else if you married him it was waking up to THAT every morning.

"Yeah everything's fine." You nodded and placed your hand on his, looking at both sets of fingers begin to intertwine out of habit. "Wil I've thought about what you said last night and-" Wilbur cut you off with his own rushed voice.

"Please, I'm sorry about that. I-I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or put any pressure on you-" Wilbur started rambling. You pressed a finger to his speeding lips.

"Wilbur I'm saying yes." You jutted in quickly with a light tired smile.

"What?" Wilbur said, his voice cracking through the sleepy rasp which only made you turn redder in the cheeks as you brushed a lock of hair behind your ear.

"Yes Wilbur, I accept your proposal." You said again and let out a laugh. Wilbur's lips twitched up and he seemed dumbfounded.

"Am I dreaming?" He said with a chuckle. You leaned and kissed him. When you pulled away you nipped his bottom lip playfully.

"Are you?" You said happily. Wilbur smirked, then smiled widely before leaping at you and tackling you back into the grass with a wild grin and a thousand kisses peppering you facial features and neck happily.

"Wilbur!" You laughed excitedly. His hair tickled your face as he covered you in his lips, even going as far as licking you once to which you swatted him away for. Spoilers: it didn't help much as he quickly just attacked you again with affection.

"You have no idea how happy you've made me Darling." Wilbur smiled against your cheek and kissed you fiercely on the skin. "God I could just devour you." He chuckled and resumed his scattering of kisses.

You laughed at each touch of his lips until the forest echoed with the joyous noise of both your voices. His showering you with affectionate words and his lips claiming every inch of your neck up.

"Wil you're gonna kill me!" You laughed as air became a thing of memory.

"Then shoot me in the heart my Dear, for there is no life without you." Wilbur panted and leaned over you with a goofy grin. The coat hung off his body creating a sort of halfway down wall, caging you under him and his dopey face. His hair hiding half of his face above you before your hand grabbed his collar and pulled him down on top of you as you kissed him deeply.

A smile spread across your lips as you thought of the future you agreed to. The smell of old coffee and gunpowder and stone. A voice like quiet thunder each time you fell asleep. A symphony of life under your ear every night and morning. Perfection at your side.

Wilbur gasped as he pulled away. Not dramatically, but enough to make you laugh again which made him laugh. He kissed you gently on the lips over and over until he was out of breath and rolled to lay beside you again. You huffed as he played with your hair falling around your head.

"We should probably get back to Pogtopia before Tommy comes looking for us and finds us like this." You turned your head to your new fiance.

"But why?" Wilbur's brow furrowed with disappointment.

"The poor boy will be traumatized if he sees us like this. You'll never hear the end of it from Phil if he tells either." You pointed out. Wilbur groaned pitifully and got to his feet, helping you up once he was balanced. He gave you another loving kiss before taking your hand and leading the way back.

~~

Wilbur, of course, still couldn't help himself from pulling you into him and sneaking rounds of happy kisses as you walked. You could see the hill that Pogtopia laid inside and he stopped behind you completely.

"Wil?" You said and kept your hands together. "Wil what's wrong?"

"Nothing I just," he blinked rapidly and something seemed to clear in his eyes. "I-I don't know. Just got phased out for a second there. Sorry love." Wilbur chuckled and closed the gap between you two till he was standing beside you as you walked.

Wilbur dug out the entrance and replaced it behind him once he walked through after you. Then he took the lead and guided you down the stairs and dark fireplace bridges until Pogtopia was below your feet solidly again.

"You're tense again." Wilbur said quietly and hovered over your jaw with a hand, barely grazing your skin as you folded your free arm over your chest. Pogtopia did make you uncomfortable but only through the memory of being trapped in Schlatt's basement.

"I'm okay Wilbur, really." You assured with a lying smile. He didn't seem convinced but continued on holding your hand and walking through the ravine base.

"And where have you guys been?" A teasing voice echoed above. Wilbur stopped and summoned a sword quickly, pushing you behind him before looking up to see his brother-in-anarchy, Technoblade, sitting on a ledge of the ravine.

"We went out last night. Fell asleep in the forest." Wilbur sighed and sheathed his blade. You tightened your hand around his and stepped out to his side. He squeezed your palm lightly in assurance that it was okay. Technoblade clearly wasn't in a fighting state of mind as of now.

"Oh uh huh." The pigman jumped down from his legs, skillfully landing without hardly a grunt on impact. "Yeah Phil won't buy that. Or Tommy really." The legend huffed a small laugh and folded his arms. The black and white fur lined cape swayed at his back softly as if a breeze blew by him constantly.

"Phil's here?!" Wilbur exclaimed.

"No, but Tommy's got him on call. He's been kinda freaking out and exaggerating everything. Y'know, Tommy stuff." Technoblade said calmly as if he didn't just drop the fact that Tommy was telling PHILZA MINECRAFT, your fiance's DAD, an exaggerated version of what he knew about last night. And lets be honest, its Tommy. He's gonna say some things he doesn't know about either.

"Oh and he's taken your diamonds." Technoblade added and you watched a smile twitch on his pig-like face.

"He's WHAT?!" Wilbur released your hand and darted to the small area Tommy had begun to dig out for himself on the other end of the ravine. Your body jerked after him from the strength of his release and you shook out your arm as Technoblade came and stood next to you.

"So how'd it go?" He asked gruffly.

"What do you mean?" You asked and watched at Wilbur vanished into the whole in the wall of Tommy's room.

"Y'know," Techno said in a teasing voice. "being with Wilbur ALL night." The pigman smirked at you 'knowingly.'

"You're disgusting Technoblade." You scoffed and folded your arms. "We didn't do anything like that. We talked mostly and for your information it was very nice." You explained matter-of-factly.

"Hmm...good." Technoblade said blatantly. "Wil got really worried when you weren't at the house after the election apparently. Tommy told me he punched through the first walls of Pogtopia when he couldn't find you."

You turned over the thought of Wilbur punching through the stone at the entrance and felt your cheeks flush. You hadn't even seen him shirtless but if he was able to do that? Holy Hell.

"Tommy you give me back my shit before I shoot you." You heard Wilbur yell and held back a snicker.

"Should we help them?" You turned to Technoblade.

"Nah...they'll sort it out one way or another." Technoblade insisted and the two of you watched the brothers chase each other over diamond blocks. You almost forgot no one knew of your plans to marry Wilbur by the time Philza showed up in auditory form to sort out his sons.

~~~~~~~

"C'mon mates, now what's happened?" You heard Phil ask. You had gone to Techno's potato farm and were pulling weeds and such. General tending things.

"Tommy took my diamonds so I shot him." Was the short version of Wilbur's story. "And now he's stuck in his own Redstone contraption.

"Wait what?" You exclaimed and came out of the side farm room.

"Oh hello Y/N." Phil exclaimed as your voice penetrated the call.

'Y/N's here too?" Tubbo's voice surprised you and you spotted the spy with a pick axe in hand. He must've shown up sometime while you were tending to the food supplies.

"Been here the whole time, now how has Tommy gotten himself stuck?" You chuckled and came to where Wilbur was standing with a dopey grin and red face from laughing.

"Love, it's so stupid. He was tryna make a piston door!" Wilbur laughed and leaned on your shoulder with his head resting against yours.

"'Love?'" Phil, Tommy, and Technoblade exclaimed in unison.

"What?" Tubbo said as the area became deathly quiet. You too were confused and you couldn't feel Wilbur breathing.

"Wil? What's wrong?" You chuckled uncomfortably. Techno was staring at the two of you with a slack jaw and a dumb smile. Tommy, from what you could see of his trapped form, was dumbfounded to speechlessness as well. Phil was silent as a mouse.

"Yeah why's it so weird that he called her 'love?' I think it's cute they have little nicknames." Tubbo stated.

"Because Tubbo," Phil's voice had a smile behind it, you could hear it. "Wilbur has a system of his nicknames."

"Any new girlfriend of his is called 'dear', then 'darling' for some reason, and then 'love' once he's fully head over heels." Technoblade explained.

"He's never called anyone 'Love' yet." Phil started to laugh.

"Wait, Wilbur you have STAGES for nicknames?!" Tubbo too began to laugh lightly.

"Oh shut up!" Wilbur's face turned a deep red as he growled at Tubbo. You smiled at him.

"No one's ever gotten to 'Love?' What about Sally?" You asked with a wavering smile.

"She left me before I could say it." He grumbled low enough for only you to hear.

"Awww Wilbur!" You said teasingly which only made his fave turn a darker red.

"Is this really how you wanna start off our engagement?" Wilbur said without hesitation which sent another wave of silence over the group before Tubbo broke it with Tommy in unison with him.

"YOU'RE ENGAGED?!"

"Wooooooahhh!!" Technoblade exclaimed with a smile. "I'm gonna be a brother-in-lawwww!!" He said triumphantly.

"Congrats you two. When did this happen?" Phil asked with his disembodied voice.

"I asked her last night under the stars." Wilbur admitted, staring far into your eyes. Tommy audibly gagged.

"That is very disgusting." He gagged again.

"Do you want to get out of there or not?" Wilbur turned to his trapped brother with a smoldering gaze and angry tone. Tommy apologized softly with a plead to yes let him out.

Eventually Tommy was freed and all the diamonds accounted for. Philza left to spend time with Mumza, or Kristin, and Technoblade vanished to go and search for something though he never said what. Just that it required a Nether trip.

Tommy removed himself from the equation and went mining for materials to build up Pogtopia and negotiate with possible allies over separate calls where he couldn't be disturbed or distracted.

That left you and Wilbur alone and although you could've taken advantage of the new opening for another affection war, the two of you opted for building off rooms to lead to storage and even an office for Wilbur to organize war plans. You yourself added a side room that was just big enough for the two of you to live in.

~~~Couple Weeks Later ~~~

Pogtopia was expanding. Allies flooding in like refuges in a storm. Niki, Fundy, Jack, and many others. Then a day came while you were crafting new tools to go Nethering with for Netherite and a new ally approached. One that was not entirely welcomed by you.

"Y/N, Love, we've got a new ally." Wilbur called out for you from his office. You'd long since built another off room from your shared quarters for you yourself to work in with its own separate Nether Portal straight into your Nether Mine.

"I'll go see them in a bit." You responded. No reply was shouted back. Between planning your wedding after the oncoming war and trying to keep up supplies for the growing resistance, you'd hardly had any time to talk with your fiance again.

Wilbur had grown so busy it was like talking to a wall of obsidian and the times he did respond it wasn't like he did. You heard him one time on the surface while you were gathering wood, talking with Tommy at the edge of the forest.

"Are we the bad guys?"

He had asked. Wilbur was doubtful of the war. Questioning his decisions and losing touch with you. He wasn't the man who proposed to you under the stars or had a system for his nicknames. You had hope still though. Everyone was stressed under the circumstances, you as well had changed in a way.

Since your kidnapping you'd trained with Technoblade and Phil (when he was around) in self defense. You mastered the cross bow and bow. A sharpshooter had emerged from the ashes of your trauma and a single arrow was all you needed to shoot down the one who wronged you. Schlatt was Wilbur's kill. No one questioned that. The tyrant had ruined everything the leader had built then turned his people against him.

Meanwhile a certain Vice President was in your sights. And you didn't miss.

"C'mon Love, even I have to attend this meet and greet." Wilbur came up behind you as you were scribbling down items you needed from your planned expedition into the firey Hell that was the Nether.

You sighed and set the quill into the ink pot before getting up and taking Wilbur's limp hand and leaving the study and office with him. You kept your crossbow loaded and ready in case an ambush occurred from the new 'ally.'

"Good you're both here!" Tommy seemed excited as he led the both of you to the surface and deep into the woods away from Pogtopia. A certain rendezvous designated for new recruits isolated and far from the Revolution base.

All the non-spies were present...Technoblade in other words. Everyone knew he was against government so it was pointless in trying to convince Schlatt's Manberg that he wasn't with Pogtopia.

As you emerged from the shade of the trees and spotted the new ally you stopped in your tracks and drew your crossbow within a blink of an eye.

Both Wilbur and Tommy flinched as you aimed.

"What the HELL are you doing here?!" You growled.

"Oh hey Y/N! Long time no see?" Quackity chuckled and held up his hands defensively.

"HE'S the new recruit?!" You looked at Tommy quickly before tightening your grip on the weapon in your hands, aimed to kill.

"Well yeah....he's gotten tired of Schlatt's disrespect. He wants to fight against him now." Tommy said rather confused.

"Why's he a problem Y/N?" Wilbur asked and side eyed the man in the suit.

"He's the one who drugged me and took me to Schlatt!" You hissed and readied your finger to shoot if Quackity so much as shuffled his feet wrong.

Wilbur's demeanor changed and the air cracked with a tension that could spark a thousand fires.

"Big Q," Tommy turned to the recruit. "Is this true?" He asked.

"Well y-yeah but I've changed I swear! Schlatt is a tyrant and he's killing Manberg! Even I didn't want this to happen!" Quackity pleaded desperately. Wilbur's boots crunched over the stiff grass as he made his way over to Quackity.

"Do you have any idea what you did?" You could hardly hear Wilbur's growl.

"Wil please I'm sor-" Quackity choked as Wilbur grabbed his collar and picked him up off the ground. Now you released your crossbow slightly and walked over to Wilbur.

"Do you KNOW what you did?!" Wilbur yelled at the Vice President of Manberg. Birds flew from the trees and a powerful echo bounced off the leaves.

"Wilbur-" you rested your hand on his shoulder. The General flinched and dropped Quackity before twisting around and grabbing your wrist with a strength you didn't know he had. It hurt and you jerked away.

Almost as soon as he did it Wilbur let go in a look of horror at his actions.

"Y/N Darling I'm-" Before he could finish you shook your head.

"It's fine Wil. We're all tense." You said quickly and flexed your wrist where he grabbed. You could already feel a slight bruise forming. The tension crackled as you approached Quackity, Wilbur stepping aside with his head hung low. You would assure him later that it was only an act of impulse and you were fine.

"Y/N I'm sorry again for what I did. I do regret it I do! You've gotta believe me!" Quackity pleaded with you. Deep down you could feel he meant it.

"I'll give you a chance." You said with gritted teeth. "But! If you even THINK of betraying us or hurting my friends, I will not hesitate to gut you like a fish. Understood?" You hissed and Quackity nodded.

"Yes yes I understand! Crystal clear!" Quackity's voice lifted in his newly earned place in the Revolution.

"Tommy, you recruited him. You show him around and get him suited." You instructed to Tommy and started your walk back to Pogtopia not daring to remove your hands from the crossbow you'd enchanted to perfection.

You heard a rustling behind you but didn't turn to see who it was. You already knew from the thump of the steps. Wilbur.

"Love please! Let me apologize!" You heard him plead behind you. You weren't angry at him no. Sure it was alarming for him to use such force on you but you knew the kind of stress he was under. No matter how much it hurt he was just trying to get his home back. A home you both could live in after this was all over.

"There's nothing to apologize for Wil." You kept on walking until he dashed up behind you and wrapped his arms tightly around you, thus stopping you in your tracks. Tears pricked at your eyes but you choked them down. This was wartime. There wasn't time for crying.

"Y/N please. What I did wasn't right. Let me apologize." Wilbur's voice cracked quietly in your ear and you couldn't help the lonely tears that slid from your face as you made th crossbow vanish and you settled your hands on his arms across your chest.

"It's fine really Wilbur. You're stressed, I'm stressed. Everyone is under a lot of pressure. An outburst-" Wilbur cut you off and turned you around to face him. One of his arms rested on your waist while the other cupped your cheek.

"Stop it! Stop saying that!" Wilbur demanded and a few more tears fell from your eyes. Some even welling up in Wilbur's own coffee brown iris'.

"Love, please. Please don't EVER accept that behavior from me." Wilbur's voice choked as he wiped your tears with his gloved thumb. The cloth was warm but you longer for his fingers. His skin caressing yours again. God you just wanted him back with you for once.

"I love you so so much Y/N and I am SO sorry for what I did. I don't know if it was impulse or stress but I don't care. You're my only and you will never deserve that treatment from me." Wilbur pulled you against his chest and you let out a sniff as you buried your face into his coat. He smelled of gunpowder and various explosive materials. Why?

"Please forgive me." Wilbur said into your neck and you pulled away, ignoring the strange smell of his clothes, and kissed him for the first time in weeks. Really kissed him. You'd both done small pecks on the cheek or head in passing but a real kiss hadn't happened since you'd been engaged which you still didn't have a ring to show for.

"I do Wilbur. I forgive you." You smiled at him and felt a wave of tension leave his body as he kissed you deeply.

"Thank you. Thank you thank you." Between each statement of gratitude he kissed you. On the cheek and neck he peppered you with kisses and 'thank you's for what felt like eternity.

"Wil we've got to get back." You laughed and pushed his shoulders away from you gently. Wilbur pouted at you before kissing you one more time and taking your hand to guide you back to Pogtopia.

There was the Wilbur you loved...the Wilbur you were gonna marry after this all was over.

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I hope you enjoyed the fluff because that's about all you're gonna get for a while 😂. Spoiler Alert: its about to get dark ladies and gentlemen.

Look forward to Part 3 and I'll see you all around!

Farewell <3