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slimy-vore-bog · 4 years ago

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Consuming Curiosity

Disclaimer: all my work is non-sexual N/SF/W interaction is not appreciated

Hi, this was the story I was talking about... It’s kinda boring, but it’s probably the last thing I’m going to be posting for a long time.

Um... This AU is a little weird to explain. At least, how I came up with it. It’s basically a pokémon AU with size-shifters and safe vore. I have a few posts about it, so if you want to read some about they are there. You don’t necessarily have to, but it can help.

Though, a couple thing to note outside of that is:

The confession in this story was written before s2 ep5

Luz has a flashlight, despite flash being a thing. So let’s just say that’s what the light around trainers are in caves.

The title is supposed to be silly, not serious.

I’m going to say a few more things under read more, just to avoid spoilers (for season 1) but here’s a summary:

Amity tells Luz she's a size-shifter, before asking to eat her, but Luz isn't too comfortable with the idea when it’s brought up.

Ao3 (sorry, you’re going to have to copy paste this, unless you check out my reblog to main) https://archiveofourown.org/works/32602456

Spoiler warning: I do talk briefly about s2 ep 5 on Ao3

Word Count: 7.4 k

It’s not a big spoiler, but in this AU Amity has never threatened Luz’s life, because she has never snuck into the school pretending to be an abomination. The duel also wouldn’t put Luz herself in harms way as much.

Also I use the word “fearmongering”, but I’m not sure it’s the right word, so feel free to correct me.

That was kinda the last thing I wanted to note... So onto the story.

***

Luz looked around, as her and Amity walked along the small forest path. A thought suddenly hit her. “You know, it’s really quiet out here! I thought there would be more people and pokémon training!”

Amity looked over at her unsurely. “Yeah, uh, that was why I took you here.” She glanced away. “For the quiet, I mean… And we’re not there yet, but I have something I want to talk about with you.” She locked eyes with Luz for a few seconds, but she couldn’t keep the eye contact. “I don’t want anybody else to overhear it.” She turned her head from side to side, before she walked off the path.

Luz’s curiosity was instantly piqued. A secret? More about Amity’s past? She jogged up to Amity, unsure where to start with her questions, or if she should keep them to herself a while. Amity did say we weren’t actually there yet. She pushed her questions down for the moment, but her curiosity about the girl was still strongly on her mind.

¨¨

Amity led Luz to a large clearing, before glancing over at her. “I think this place is quiet enough.” She said it more to herself than Luz. “I’m sorry it might take a while before I’m ready to talk about this.” She took her bag off her shoulders, placing her poké balls it, before slowly walked out into the clearing.

Luz looked out at the different sorts of plant life. There were a few trees starting to spread out into the open space, but they were still just saplings and small enough for any herbivorous pokémon to eat them and others to accidentally trample them. A few giant thistles were starting to bloom here and there, and a few bushes had snuck in too.

She stepped out into the clearings too, the grass nearly went up to her knees; she noticed how oddly beautiful the place was. There was something wild about it, it wasn’t a flower meadow or anything, but it still had a strong natural beauty. The thistles were blossoming pretty purple flowers and the sky was clear today, shining on everything in the gorgeous way. Luz looked over at Amity, as a thought popped into her mind. This would be the perfect place for a love confession.

Luz shook her head. Why would I want a love confession from Amity? She felt her heart sped up a little as she looked over at her friend. Why would Amity even give me one? We’re just friends. But the ‘what if?’ made her heart beat way faster than it should.

Amity looked over at Luz, when they were only a few feet apart. She took a deep breath, before she let out a strained sigh. “I’m…” she hesitated again, before she decided to spit it out. “I’m a size-shifter.”

Luz’s eyes widened in surprise, for a second feeling lured into a trap, before she shook her head. “You are?!” She took a step back, instantly feeling the fear creep back into her. “You’re dangerous?” she didn’t manage to cut herself off before she saw the pain on Amity’s face. It’s still Amity, why am I acting like this? “Don’t size-shifters eat people?”

Amity already looked like she was about to cry. “No!” she shouted at Luz. “Luz, why would you think I would kill someone?” She looked away from Luz.

Luz’s eyes widened once again. “I’m sorry! But I don’t really understand.” She thought back to all she had been taught about size-shifters. They are dangerous, they will eat you and don’t trust them. Luz had a realization she should have had a long time ago. It’s not actually true. It’s fearmongering! Luz’s brow furrowed. It feels like a strange thing to lie about. “Can you explain?”

Amity looked tired. “I guess I have to… You’re not going to get the right answer from anybody else.” She took another deep breath. “I know everybody always talks about how we are all murderous cannibals, but it’s not true.” Amity held her breath for a moment, looking unsure. “And I know there’s sometimes footage of it and ‘the rescues’, but-”

Luz cut her off. “Wait, the footage isn’t fake?” That had been her first thought after thinking it was fearmongering. She hadn’t ever wanted to believe the footage was real, but the way Amity said it and hesitated to say it made her think it was real. “So-” Luz was about to take a step back, before she shook her head. “But… Wait.” Luz couldn’t wrap her head around it. “How can the rescues be faked? And how do the people stay alive?”

Amity paused. “I don’t know exactly how the biology behind size-shifters work, but we can swallow people alive safely.” Amity had to think about her second question. “They aren’t exactly ‘faked’, but they aren’t what they seem.” Amity’s face suddenly fell into a sad grimace. “Haven’t you noticed that the size-shifters never hesitate to spit the people back up? If I was an attempted murderer; I wouldn’t just spit people up because I was asked to.” She shook her head. “My point is that size-shifters aren’t worse than anybody else.”

Luz had another question on her mind. “But… Why would they want to eat people, if it gets them in trouble?” It wasn’t like she had a problem with breaking unfair rules; she lived with a criminal who was broke laws, pretty fair and unfair. “What do they gain from it?” It wasn’t even a meal, since they wouldn’t be trying to kill the person.

Amity avoided Luz’s gaze. “Uh… I have heard it feels comforting, in a way.” She glanced over at Luz for a second. “But I have never really… I’ve never tried it, so I don’t know if it’s worth getting in trouble over.” Amity quickly changed the topic away from eating people. “But I really want to try holding you in my hands…” She looked expectantly at Luz. “Can I do that?”

Luz smiled, already feeling a lot more at ease. “Sure!”

Amity’s shoulders untensed, before she grew to a size where Luz was barely the size of her index finger. She carefully sat down and lowered her hand to the ground.

Luz looked at it for a couple seconds, intimidated by Amity’s new size, before she climbed up on her hand with an exaggerated huff. She could feel as Amity raised her up and closer to her.

Amity sat like that for a while, as they didn’t say anything to each other. She gently brushed Luz’s back with her finger, making Luz flinch in surprise. “Sorry,” apologized Amity, as she quickly pulled her finger away. “You’re just so…” she tried to come up with a good word that wasn’t ‘cute’, “small.” She gently grabbed Luz’s hand in her fingers, letting it rest on top her finger; it couldn’t even reach across the slimmest part of it. “It feels strange to hold you.”

Luz kept looking into her giant eyes. “It’s really strange to be held too.” She looked down at the ground. “You’re really big when you’re a giant…” Amity felt a little too big to be real in her mind. “I mean, obviously, but you’re so big, it doesn’t really feel possible.” She talked absentmindedly, as she leaned onto Amity’s finger, which twitched under her touch. “I’m not even the size of this finger.” Luz tried to wrestle it downwards, but it barely budged. “I’m not even as strong as your finger!”

Amity raised an eyebrow. “Did you expect to be?”

Luz shook her head. “Not really, but it’s still weird.” She leaned down on her finger again, but this time she just felt like lying down. “Man, today has already been a day, huh?” She chuckled. “My brain feels just as mushy as when I first got here…” She took a moment to take it all in, narrating some of her thoughts out loud. “You’re a size-shifters. Size-shifters eat people, but not really, so people fear and hate you guys for no reason…” Her brow furrowed. “I got scared of you too. I’m sorry.” She had a better idea of how much it must have hurt Amity to hear her freak out and call her dangerous after the whole explanation.

Amity ignored the last part of it. “Yeah, today has already been a lot.” Or maybe she didn’t… It was part of her day that she thought she was about to lose Luz as a friend from how she had reacted. She moved her finger away from Luz lowering her down to rest her arms in her lap. She sighed. “I don’t think it was all on you… Maybe I should have explained everything and if you caught on it wouldn’t be as bad.”

Luz felt even worse for her. “No, it’s not at all your fault; I didn’t wait to hear you out.” She looked up at Amity. “I should have trusted that you would never hurt me.” It was even strange, because she would have completely trusted Amity with her life just before she told Luz her secret. Why was my first thought she was tricking me? “I trust you so much and I promise that we are still friends!”

Amity gave her a small smile, and Luz was happy that her reassurance worked. “Thanks.”

It was silent between them after that.

Amity carefully stroked Luz’s hair in the silence, and Luz found it calming. She liked knowing that there was nothing wrong between them and neither of them hated each other over what had just happened. But it was strange with the sudden affection from Amity’s side. She usually veered away from physical contact with Luz. Maybe she just doesn’t like it when others touch her? Luz felt a bit conflicted. I hope it isn’t for a bad reason.

Amity shifted her fingers to brush Luz’s back instead, but her head was filled with other thoughts. It had been bugging her from when she picked Luz up in her hands, but it was even worse after Luz had told her that she trusted her. She couldn’t stop thinking about swallowing Luz alive. Her brain kept shouting at her that Luz needed to get somewhere safe, despite the lack of danger. I guess I know why others do it despite the risk now. She stared down at Luz, wishing she could just shove her into her mouth without scaring her. Should I bring the idea up? She decided not to.

Luz relaxed, as Amity stroked her back, but she did seem to be a little distracted. She decided not to ask about it. It wasn’t like she always paid attention when she was with people. She could get a little lost in her daydreams about her favorite shows and books from time to time. But what type of thoughts would Amity get lost in? Luz straightened her back, immediately changing her mind about not asking. “What are you thinking about?”

Amity hesitated. “I’m trying to figure something out…” She shifted her hands a bit, before she stroked Luz again. She looked like she wanted to say something more, but changed her mind about what. “It’s annoying.” That was what she left it at.

Luz tilted her head. “What are you trying to figure out? Oh! Maybe I can help?”

Amity laughed. “You could, but that is also the problem… It could solve it too.”

“That sounds like some weird cryptic riddle… Sooo what do you mean by that?” Luz watched her, while she thought about what to say next.

Amity tried to pick her words carefully. I think I should ease her more into it… maybe it won’t startle her as bad? “It’s just that… Hmm, no…” Saying it like that would be more ominous. Imagine hearing that… She shook her head. ‘I think have figured out why other size-shifters want to risk swallowing people whole’. Even thinking it to herself made her shiver. “I’m thinking about how it feels to swallow a person whole.” Amity watched Luz’s face for a reaction, but she didn’t see any fear yet, though she did make a face. “It has to feel good, right?” She tried to avoid the fact that she knew that was not the reason others did it, until she saw Luz’s reaction.

Luz felt a bit weirded out by her, but she decided it was better not to judge her too harshly. Maybe it’s some weird feeling she gets when she’s giant. “So… you were trying to ask if you can swallow me whole?”

Amity’s fingers twitched a little closer around Luz, before she nodded. “And, actually… I think I have figured out why-” she stopped herself abruptly. “I mean, not in a scary dangerous way, but I think I have figured out why other size-shifters risk so much to do this.” She paused again, as she watched Luz intently, making Luz squirm. “I don’t know why, but holding you like this makes me feel like I need to keep you safe from everything and never let anyone or anything get to you. And the same feeling is screaming at me to eat you.”

Amity was being a little overdramatic, but so were her thoughts. Or at least the feelings it gave her. It pressed heavily in on her mind, as she stared down at the relatively tiny girl in her hands. She tried to calm the thoughts, in case Luz said no, by reminding herself that if anybody or thing did try to hurt, she could still protect her normally. It obviously didn’t help, but that was also maybe part of the fact that she, even without the strange feelings, wanted to try swallowing Luz whole.

Luz smiled uncomfortably, glancing down towards the ground. It wasn’t as much a lack of trust, as it was an ‘I don’t want to be swallowed alive’. “Well, uh,” she laughed anxiously, “I mean… it’s nice that you want to protect me, but-” she wondered how to say it. “I think you should just put me down and we can go back.”

Luz could see Amity’s mood drop, before she replied. “I guess that would solve it too…” She placed Luz down on the ground, going back to her regular height, holding a hand to her forehead. “Okay, now I’m confused.” She stared at Luz with a weirded out look on her face.

Luz could guess what the problem was. “Maybe it takes a while for the feelings to disappear?” she guessed, hoping she was right. Or I would just have to deal with being swallowed alive. She shivered, trying not to feel too disgusted with the idea. “Wait, what if the feeling stays forever? Even after you’ve eaten me and let me back out?”

Amity’s eyes widened. I would not be able to handle that! Was what Luz said actually possible? It sounded like it. What if I eat Luz and never let her out? She wanted to get away from her ‘protective’ thoughts immediately. Her mind filled up with horrible images and scenarios. Both of them dying of hunger from neither being able to eat. Or her eating something and getting her stomach to work again. Her thoughts started spiraling into more horrible scenarios.

Luz noticed Amity’s distress, but she had no idea how to help. “It probably won’t! Uh…” Luz looked around, trying to find something to talk about that could distract Amity. “Sunny!” Luz grabbed one of her poké balls from her belt, sending the pokémon out. “Look at Sunny, hasn’t she gotten stronger?” Her shiny Luxio’s fur sparkled in the light, as Sunny looked up at Luz, before rubbing her head against her. “Can you go over to Amity?”

She listened, turning around to see Amity still looking alarmed. Sunny looked surprised, before she used her head to guide Amity’s hand to pet her.

Amity looked down at Luz’s pokémon, letting her shoulders untense a little. The thoughts were calming down a lot faster than she thought they would, both the eating ones and the anxious ones. She felt the thoughts about swallowing Luz slowly disappear. There were still memories of the thoughts when she looked at Luz, but nothing like what she had just felt. It was more like having said something completely seriously in a dream and then waking up to it being completely ridiculous. Amity smiled. “Thanks…”

“No problem!” Luz was happy everything had resolved itself so fast. She wouldn’t really know how else to fix this. “Sorry for bringing… that… up.” She hadn’t expected Amity to react like that at all, but now she could see how it would be worrying. “I promise I wasn’t trying to scare you.”

Amity petted Sunny for a bit. “It’s okay now.” A conflicted expression fell on her face. “I just felt like it was what was going to happen.” She sighed. “But luckily it wasn’t.”

It was strange… It was supposed to be a comforting feeling after she had swallowed Luz, so why did the thought of doing that so easily panic her? But then again… She wasn’t giant anymore, and she had just feared having thoughts about swallowing Luz for the rest of her life… And then thought about her death.

Luz looked at Sunny, as her pokémon walked back to her. It was good that Luz’s pokémon didn’t hold a grudge. It was good that Luz didn’t either, or she and Amity could never have been friends. She smiled at Amity as a strange feeling made her heart sped up again, like it had when she had thought about how oddly perfect for romance the place seemed.

Amity smiled back, before she spoke. “Well, we should probably be heading back.”

Luz looked at Amity unsurely. “So, you don’t want to try eating me?”

Amity looked a bit uncomfortable. “I’m not sure… Why are you asking? I thought you didn’t want me to do that?”

Luz returned her pokémon to her poké ball. “I did, but… I mean, how can I not be a little curious?” It seemed scary at first, but there was something about it that intrigued her. Even if she had to dig to find it. “It’s crazy that it’s actually possible to be eaten safely!” A thought suddenly hit Luz. “But, if you haven’t eaten anybody before, how do you know it’s safe? It’s not very obvious when seeing the footage of it.”

Amity shrugged. “It’s usually a thing only size-shifters know about. I don’t think other people would be so open to hear us out.”

“I guess that makes sense…” Luz hesitated. “But do you want to try it?” She felt a little hesitant herself, but maybe she could at least try it, just to see what it would feel like. Maybe it could be interesting?

Amity gave it another second of thought. If Luz wants me to, I guess she doesn’t think it’s that bad? And Amity had no reason to be scared. She wasn’t going to live with the urge to eat her forever, it would disappear after a few minutes. She made her decision. “Yes.”

Without any warning, Luz closed the distance between them with a hug.

Amity froze in Luz’s embrace. “Why are you hugging me?” It didn’t make any sense; Luz was doing something for her, so why did she also get a hug? At the same time, the closeness threw Amity’s heart into high-gear.

Luz felt Amity freeze in her arms, as she squeezed her tightly. She let go of her, seeing how red her face had gotten, before she replied. “I felt like you needed it.” Luz stared at Amity’s face, unsure of how to process her blushing. “And I wanted to hug you.” She took a step back from her. What do I do about her blushing? It wasn’t really hitting her what it meant, but she knew it would in a moment, because it was right there in her head. How should I react?

Luz is staring at me. Amity felt a rush of anxiety. She has figured it out. “Uh, well, I was supposed to grow, so I’ll just do that now.” She backed away from Luz, growing back to her biggest height again.

Luz stared up at Amity, as the words her mind was searching for fell into place. Amity has a crush on me. Luz couldn’t figure out what to do about it. Was she supposed to tell Amity that she knew or keep quiet about until she decided to confess? Would that make it more awkward? She played the scenario out in her mind. If I told somebody I had a crush on them and they- her thoughts were abruptly cut short as she was pulled up into the air. She shouted in surprise. “Amity!”

Amity gave Luz a fake smile. “Sorry, I’m just really impatient right now.” She was hoping Luz hadn’t guessed anything at all and that she could distract her. What exactly do I do, if she has guessed it? Wasn’t she supposed to let Luz know that she liked her as more than a friend? It doesn’t feel right yet…

Amity shifted her hands, so Luz could sit in them. “At least ask if you can pick me up.” She took a second to figure out what she had been thinking about, before she fell back into her thoughts. If somebody knew I had a crush on them, would I like them to tell me they knew or not? She tried to figure it out, but she didn’t know how Amity felt about it. “What would you do if you knew somebody had a crush on you?” Maybe that was enough to let Amity know that she knew.

Amity felt her pulse quicken even more. “Tell them.” She wasn’t sure she would have answered that, if it wasn’t glaringly obvious Luz had figured it out, but she needed to hear it from Luz’s mouth.

Luz could sense how uncomfortable Amity was. She already knew that I figured it out… That’s why she’s acting so much weirder. “Uh… well… I think-” she corrected herself, “-I know you have a crush on me.” Luz felt her heart pound quicker in her chest. “And… I think I might have feelings for you too?” Luz looked away from Amity. “You know… The first thing I thought of when we got here was that this place would be perfect for a love confession.”

Amity stared down at Luz, wide-eyed, before she blinked. She looked around the clearing, before she laughed. “It kind of is.”

Both of them stayed quiet for a few seconds.

Amity felt the feelings of wanting to eat Luz slip back in through her worry about her not returning her feelings. “So we both like each other…” she stated to herself, feeling unsure. Everything about this whole day seemed fake. First, she had actually told Luz she was a size-shifter, Luz had agreed to let herself get eaten and now… Now Luz had told her she had feelings for her. “Would it be weird, if I swallowed you whole now?”

Luz smiled awkwardly. “Not any weirder than it would be any other time.” She hesitated again. “But I would like it if I could get more eased into it.” Luz felt a bit embarrassed to ask, because of the absurdity of the situation. “Could you hold your mouth open, so I can look inside first?”

“Sure.” Amity raised her up in front of her face, opening her mouth wide.

Luz couldn’t stop herself from flinching back at the sight of it. Her teeth were way too big for Luz not to imagine her accidently getting something caught in between them and crushed. The sight of her throat was even more unnerving, with the thought of her having to go down it. Luz shivered from both thoughts, before she managed to calm herself down. Relax, nothing’s going to go wrong.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t expected it to be scary, but she thought her curiosity would have made it less scary. Still, she didn’t want to not try it. “I-” she cleared her throat to avoid her voice shaking, “I meant so I could lean in.”

Amity shifted Luz closer to her mouth after she said that.

Luz once again had to take a moment to convince herself everything was going to be okay, before she held onto Amity’s teeth and leaned into her mouth. Nothing’s going to be bitten off. She could feel the heat of Amity’s breath against her face, but it luckily didn’t smell bad.

Amity moved her tongue moved away from Luz’s hands, confusing her. “Uh, you know, if you want to swallow me whole, you have to touch me with your tongue.”

She could see that Amity hesitated, before she relaxed her tongue.

Luz cringed slightly, as the warm wet tongue hit her hands, but she relaxed shortly after. It’s not that gross, just a little weird. Luz let Amity drag her tongue up her arms, as she watched. I wonder if I taste like anything? She pushed her tongue back down when she was about to lick at her face. “I still need to look!” she called out, trying to make it clear she wasn’t that bothered by it and actually found it a little amusing.

Luz moved her hands on top of Amity’s tongue. It felt strange how it twitched under her hands, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Luz suddenly threw herself back out of Amity’s mouth. “Oh! Wait!” She took her poké balls of her belt shoving them in her bag. “Can you take this?” She left her flashlight on her belt, just in case she wanted to look around.

Amity carefully picked the bag out of her hands, before placing it by her own. “I thought something was wrong.”

Luz shook her head. “No, everything is fine! I just thought… I mean, you could get hurt, if I lost something in there.” She decided not to dwell on it. “Can you open up again?”

Amity did as she was told.

Luz leaned back in on her tongue, looking at Amity’s throat. The sight made her shiver, just like before, but it still wasn’t enough to make her back out of trying this.

Amity was having a bit of a different experience.

She couldn’t figure out why Luz tasted like she did. It wasn’t at all how she would have imagined a person to taste. She had expected them to maybe be a tiny bit salty, if they were sweating, but Luz tasted like her skin was made of sugar. She liked it, but it also weirded her out at the same time. Maybe this is just how people taste to size-shifters? She shifted her tongue under Luz’s hands, trying to get a bit more of her taste…It’s kind of like having a living piece of candy. She felt even weirder about it after that thought.

Luz turned her head to look at Amity’s teeth. The ones farthest in were the size of both her hands curled into fists. She leaned in a little farther, pushing herself up on her toes, to see if her assumption was right. She rested her elbows on Amity’s tongue, comparing the size of her fist to her teeth. Wow, they are! I am really tiny compared to her…

Luz felt a bit unsure of what to do now. Do I want to get swallowed yet? Her gaze fell on her throat. Something in her was telling her that she should tell Amity to stop, but she knew it was just her very rational fear of being eaten.

She sighed, before she relaxed her legs, sliding a bit backwards. Should I let Amity shove me in or crawl in myself? But she felt Amity pull her back out after a second to close her mouth.

Amity looked at her, but Luz couldn’t really read her expression. “Uh…” Amity started unsurely, “can I eat you now?”

Luz shrugged. “Sure, I’m done looking around.” She felt weird about phrasing it like that, but it didn’t matter too much.

Amity gently picked Luz up with her other hand, but put her back down when she saw her confused expression. “What?” she asked carefully.

“Nothing! I kinda thought I would be climbing into your mouth again, but this works too.” Amity nodded, picking her up once again. But Luz couldn’t help feeling a little uncomfortable with it. It can’t be not more uncomfortable than climbing in on my own…

Amity held her pinched between her fingers, still feeling that strange need for protecting Luz by eating her. Yet she also thought about how to do it. Should I tilt my head back and lower her in? She had no idea what she should do, but she felt that there was a right way to do it, even if there probably wasn’t. Would Luz find it weird or even scary? Her mind was getting impatient with her, yelling at her that it didn’t matter as long as she got Luz safe. Amity tilted her head back, hoping she didn’t look stupid doing that, before she opened her mouth.

Luz felt her heart pound quicker, but not in a good way, as Amity brought her legs down towards her mouth. Why is this so much scarier? She looked down into her mouth, feeling a much stronger shiver at the sight of Amity’s throat. She pulled her legs back, as she felt the jolt of fear. “Amity, wait! Give me a moment.” I just need a second to calm down and then everything is going to be fine.

Amity closed her mouth again reluctantly. Her mind was screaming to eat Luz even more severely than before, while she tried to push the thoughts down. She’s scared to be eaten; I won’t do this if she doesn’t want to. Yet that didn’t seem to calm down the thoughts at all. Either that, or it calmed down such a little bit, she could barely feel the difference.

Luz held her hand over her heart, feeling her heart beating under it. Should I back out? With how her heart was thumping; she strongly considered it. She looked at Amity, as she imagined going down the other girl’s throat. “Uh…” she didn’t know how to voice her sudden fright. “Just a moment more.”

Amity already felt let down. “Please…” She stopped herself, not wanting to make Luz feel like she didn’t have a choice. “Sorry.”

She was about to place Luz back on the ground, when she shouted, “Wait!” making Amity stop. “I still want to try it, I’m just scared.” It was pretty clear, giving how she was shaking. “I can do this; I don’t think it’s going to be as scary after I’ve tried it.” Luz looked up at Amity unsurely, fiddling with her hands. “Maybe it’s kinda the same fear that comes from anything scary.” She gestured something with her hands, but Amity wasn’t sure what she meant, or if it even meant anything. “Maybe a roller coaster or trying to climb a really high rock-climbing wall. Something that’s terrifying the first few times, but after that it’s fun?”

Luz could feel her heart still pounding away in her chest, but both not wanting to let Amity down and grasping on to that little bit of curiosity, she knew she had to do it. “Maybe those two aren’t the best comparisons, and it probably won’t be ‘fun’ in the same way, but you know what I mean.”

Amity smiled at Luz’s comparison, before she tried to figure out how to make Luz more comfortable. “You didn’t feel as scared when you were looking around my mouth yourself…” she thought out loud. “Would it help if you climbed in on your own?” Amity realized she was still holding Luz the way she had been before, putting her back down to sit in her hand.

Luz watched Amity’s mouth, feeling an uncertain chill run down her spine. “I think so?” It would feel better than being lowered in.

Amity opened her mouth again.

Luz didn’t waste any time, afraid to back out if she waited for too long. She pulled herself up using Amity’s teeth as fast as she could, feeling a little shove on her feet from Amity. Amity closed her mouth as soon as Luz was inside.

Amity grimaced at the feeling of Luz’s clothes against her tongue, as it sucked the moisture from her mouth. She felt embarrassed about having to roll Luz around her mouth before she could swallow her. Should I swallow her head first her get her to turn around? Amity wasn’t sure what would be best. She couldn’t picture what would be easier for both her and Luz. I guess I should just focus on getting her soaked enough to go down. With how Luz tasted, she guessed it wouldn’t take too long.

Luz squeezed her eyes shut, despite the darkness, as she felt Amity’s tongue move around underneath her. She couldn’t stop herself from feeling like she was a piece of candy. She felt Amity’s teeth grab her foot, before she swallowed the saliva around her. Despite her foot in between Amity’s teeth; she let her shoulders untense for a moment, feeling a little bit less scared. Everything is fine. She tried to reassure herself. Amity isn’t trying to scare me.

Amity could feel Luz becoming less tense, realizing that she was still scared, as she could feel her rapid heartbeat against her tongue. She didn’t know what to do… How scared was Luz? Should I let Luz back out? She didn’t want to at all. She swallowed around Luz again.

Luz squirmed uncomfortably, as her clothes became more and more drenched in drool. Her body was once again pressed up into the roof of Amity’s mouth. She felt the saliva disappear from around her, before she was lowered down again and pushed around.

Amity thought about how to swallow Luz again. Does it matter to her? Luz felt scared, but would one way be less scary? She hesitantly opened her mouth back up, hoping Luz wouldn’t mind needing to get back in.

Luz could feel a change in light behind her shut eyes, before she was pulled back out of her mouth. She uncertainly opened her eyes, seeing the string of drool between her and Amity, before she tried to slurp it in, before licking it away. She couldn’t keep herself from grimacing in disgust. That’s so gross. Both how it looked and how it sounded made her cringe and shut her eyes again.

Amity noticed Luz’s discomfort, feeling incredibly embarrassed. “Uh… I was wondering if you cared how I swallowed you?” She used her free hand to briefly scratch the back of her head. “I mean, head first or feet first?”

Luz opened her eyes hesitantly. Did she care? She pictured both ways. Being swallowed head first would probably be really uncomfortable… But is feet first any better? She tried to picture it. It doesn’t sound like it… But that was more about the whole being eaten thing not being very pleasant. At least I won’t be upside-down… “Uh… Feet first?” Luz knew that meant she couldn’t avoid Amity putting her in her mouth, unless she wanted to try turning around in her mouth herself, but she might as well let Amity do it. Maybe it won’t be as scary now. “And I’m okay with you putting me in your mouth.”

Amity’s brow furrowed. If she’s changes her mind, I can stop. She shifted her hands to hold Luz differently, deciding not to do what she did earlier. She lifted her hand up to her mouth, letting Luz’s legs slip inside, before she quickly, but gently, pushed the rest of her inside.

Luz didn’t get as much time to be scared as Amity pushed her in a lot quicker than she had tried to lower her in.

Amity’s tongue flipped her on her stomach, before she tilted her head back.

Luz’s fear sparked back up, as she slid backwards. Calm down; it’s not going to be that bad. She tried to keep that in mind while her legs slipped into Amity’s throat, before her tongue squeezed her down into it and her feet and lower legs slid down into her esophagus.

Amity felt her brain scream a loud ‘Finally!’, as she swallowed for the first time. But she could also feel how hard and rapid Luz’s heart was beating. She didn’t let herself dwell on it, as she swallowed again. She’ll tell me, if she wants to back out.

The tongue around Luz squash her up into her palate, shoving more of her into her throat. Luz wriggled, trying to feel less squished. It was a lot tighter than she would have thought.

Luz felt Amity swallow again, as her waist was pulled into her throat. Only her arms were still on her tongue, as the rest of her was falling into her throat, but she didn’t feel as scared as she did before. It’s okay… She comforted herself. It’s not that bad. Amity’s throat pulled on her, as she was squashed down farther.

As Luz felt the crushing pressure around her chest, she realized she should have taking a deep breath before Amity had swallowed her this far in. I can’t breathe. She could gasp a little bit of breath in, when she really tried, but it wasn’t easy.

Amity stopped swallowing, when she felt Luz wriggles become more intense. Oh… should I have let her out? It was too late for that now. She swallowed Luz’s arms and hands in one gulp, feeling jumbled, as feelings of worry and joy mixed in her head. I’m not supposed to be happy while Luz scared. But that didn’t stop that part of her from feeling like she had done something good.

Luz hated how tight Amity’s throat squeezed her, as she was pushed down. She couldn’t catch her breath at all. She wasn’t too worried about it, but it wasn’t pleasant. It felt like trying to dive to the other end of a small pool, except everything around her was crushing her and she couldn’t go up for a breath when she felt like it was too much.

Amity felt Luz slide down her throat, as her worry grew instead of lessened. Did I hurt her? She tried to swallow again, wanting to get Luz down faster, but she didn’t know if it would work.

Luz was eventually squeezed into Amity’s stomach, sliding down to the bottom of it. She began panting for breath, finally feeling the pressure of Amity’s throat let go.

Amity didn’t know exactly what to do. Luz didn’t seem like she was scared… She wasn’t screaming or fighting against her. “Uh… Luz?” she started hesitantly, “what was wrong earlier?”

Luz took another deep breath, appreciating her ability to breathe a lot more than she usually did. “I couldn’t breathe.”

It was quiet between them again.

Amity sat for too long trying to figure out what to say, before Luz spoke up again. “So uh… How does this whole thing feel?” There was a sharp jab from inside her stomach. “It better be as good as you thought.”

Amity couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “I don’t think it is.” She focused more on her question. “But it’s… something. I think I liked it more when I had you in my mouth, but at least now I don’t have those irritating thoughts about needing to swallow you.” She held a hand over her stomach, unsure of how to feel. “You taste like sugar.”

Luz stared up into the darkness around her. “Oh…” she muttered. “So I do taste like something. You know, I was actually thinking about that when you tried to lick my face the first time.” She felt around for the flashlight on her belt, before she got a hold of it, and turned it on, blinding herself for a few seconds. “Argh!” she shouted. That was stupid.

Amity immediately called out to her, before Luz interrupted her panic. “Don’t worry! I just blinded myself with my flashlight…” She slowly opened her eyes again, turning the brightness of the light down, looking around.

There wasn’t as much room as she had thought there would be, but she was more focused on how the walls around seemed oddly still. I guess that makes sense… Luz stared at the pink wrinkly walls around her. “Hmm…” I wonder what would happen if she ate something? “Do you really not know that much about size-shifter biology?” Luz wasn’t going to let herself possibly die inside Amity’s stomach just for an experiment either way, but she was curious. “What would happen if you ate something while I was in here?”

“I don’t know.” Amity made a weird squeaky noise. “And I don’t really want to find out.” She was quiet for bit, before she thought of something else. “Though I know that if you had eaten me and you ate something I would be safe… But it’s different.”

“Oh…” Luz wondered what Amity meant by that, but she probably didn’t know. “And I don’t want to try anything! I was just hoping you knew what would happen.” She shined the light up towards the entrance of Amity’s stomach, immediately distracting her from the conversation. Luz felt a strong chill run through her, despite the warmth of the body around her. “I am really inside your stomach…” Around Luz were layers of muscles and fat, and skin… and she was just sitting there, inside Amity, completely invisible to everything… Except for Luxrays, but they would only find her if they were looking for her. The thought wasn’t scary, as much as it was fascinating. I would really be completely safe in here… She could hide from everything if she wanted. Not that she did, but the idea of such a quiet place just with Amity… She felt a sting of disappointment. “I wish you wouldn’t get in trouble over stuff like this…”

Amity didn’t know how Luz came to that conclusion, but she agreed. “I know…” She brushed her hand over her stomach, despite knowing Luz couldn’t feel it. This was one of the only things that affected Amity and had all her life, besides her parents. She had never been one to break rules or get in trouble and she didn’t care that she could only use ground type pokémon for the rest of her life. Golett or Golurk weren’t the worst pokémon she could think of training. But being a size-shifter with the rules that were set in place? She was almost breaking rules just by existing ever since she was born. “It’s really hard.”

Neither of them knew how to continue the conversation from there.

Amity heaved a deep sigh. “I think I’m going to let you out now.”

Luz felt like it was a little soon for all the stress, but she didn’t have any objections. “Okay.”

¨¨

Amity had thought it would have been a lot harder to get Luz back up, but it barely took any longer than swallowing her, and it was far from as painful as vomiting normally got.

For Luz, it didn’t feel worse than first having been swallowed.

Luz slipped into Amity’s hands, before she was placed down on the ground, looking over where Amity had placed their bags. She cringed, imagining get Amity’s drool all over it too, but she knew she had to pick it up somehow. She didn’t really want to ask Amity to carry it.

Luz couldn’t stop feeling a bit awkward. She tried to avoid looking at Amity, as her face heated up. “Uh… I think we glossed a little bit over the fact that we both like each other?”

Amity seemed shy too. “Yeah…”

Luz headed back to where they had come from, picking up her bag. “Let’s just go back.” She yawned. “I’m really tired…” she mumbled, before she continued. “Maybe we can figure it out on the way back.”

Amity yawned too, but Luz was pretty sure it was because she had yawned. “Uh, yeah, we can do that.”

***

Thanks a lot for reading! I would really appreciate if you liked this story, if you enjoyed reading it!

Have an awesome day! <3

#T0H vore #safe vore #extreme cuddling #sfw vore #gt vore

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thedreadvampy · 4 years ago

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Ok please if you don’t mind saying - who is Stuart semple and what did he do? I’m so confused. Like I recognise the name and I think he might the an artist or something but I have no idea

He is indeed an artist! He’s a English multidisciplinary fine artist best known for his ongoing beef with English sculptor Anish Kapoor over the 2016 exclusive licensing on the process to make Vantablack colour coating, which meant Kapoor was the only artist allowed to use it. Then Stuart Semple made Pinkest Pink pigment and said it was available to everyone but Anish Kapoor, and there was a big blowup which there’s a lot of documentation of - it was very memed.

Since then, Semple has made a bunch more pigments, most of them with the available-to-everyone-but-Anish-Kapoor disclaimer, and the beef periodically flares up, although I will say as time goes on it seems to me to have got increasingly one-sided given that Kapoor has pretty much wandered off.

(I’ve used several of his colours, btw. Pinkest Pink is pretty good. Blackest Black, his attempt to make the blackest possible paint (as opposed to Vantablack which is a nanofibre coating) I was pretty disappointed in, I’ve honestly had better light capture from mid-range art shop paints. His other pigments vary in quality - some I really liked, some I was meh on, but I think Blackest Black is the only one I was actively unimpressed by)

Anyway. Where I come in is much less exciting.

A few months ago I reblogged a post on Tumblr asking about Semple from a discourse tag (my reblog did not tag or @ anyone), and I made a glib comment where I said (very truthfully) that while I thought he was pretty decent at pigments, both his paintings and his online persona came across pretty adolescent to me.

so it turns out Stuart Semple is an inveterate name searcher (hi Stuart if you’re reading this!)

(Side note: I actually should have guessed this from 2019 Twitter when he saw and commented on an untagged thread I wrote about him and Kapoor’s beef (which was because I’d seen an article in which Kapoor, a British-Asian man, said that the racist Prevent strategy was liable to drive young British-Asian men into the arms of terrorist groups by making it clear their country hates them reblogged on Semple’s account with a caption claiming Anish Kapoor was pro-terrorism, which, while tongue-in-cheek, isn’t a neutral statement for a white person to make about an Asian person and was a pretty phenomenally bad-faith reading of Kapoor’s actual words) and in my thread I pretty much said that when the story had broken, I, like everybody else, had found it very funny and been firmly on side with Semple’s bit, but I felt that a) after a couple of years it really wasn’t very relevant any more and it had started to feel less like Fighting The Power and more like bullying the amount of Semple’s web presence was devoted to talking about Anish Kapoor; b) that it was a shame that Anish Kapoor was increasingly only known as The Vantablack Guy given that I really like a lot of his work and c) that continuing to frame a Jewish person of colour as the Face of the Artistic Elite was a bit weird given how overwhelmingly white the high-end art world is. but I digress. Semple responded to that thread, I don’t really remember what he said, it wasn’t an acrimonious response but it was a bit Oh I Didn’t Do Anything To Tag You?)

so anyway he found my reblog and commented saying ehhh I don’t remember, something along the lines of not feeling like I was being very kind and that he was trying his best. also I think he said I had accused him of being racist? which again the actual Tumblr post literally just said I thought his art and persona came across as juvenile and I think in the tags? I mentioned that I thought it was time for him to step off the Kapoor beef.

then he screencapped my post, including my profile picture and username, and posted it on all his socials with a kind of :( people are so mean on Tumblr :( caption and um

idk if you know this about Being A Public Persona With Tens Of Thousands of Followers but. if you post someone’s identity and say ‘I do not like what this person is doing’ it. can get messy fast.

uh I don’t follow Stuart Semple (see the original post I made) but he commented to make sure I knew he’d posted my post on Instagram and “all my followers like your wig :)” which. according to my partner who did go and look at the time, the Instagram comments were largely about how I was an ugly non-passing trans woman aka “man in a wig” which. throw the whole suitcase out. There were a good few days where I got a lot of angry anons, ranging from ‘stop bullying Stuart Semple!!!!!’ to ‘die in a ditch graphically’ to ‘how can you claim to have opinions on art when You Are On Tumblr’ (I have been a freelance illustrator for 7 years and I have a Masters in art and design) to ‘your art sucks and you’re fat and ugly’ and my personal favourite ‘how can u be cis and use she/her pronouns you dumb snowflake’

(within that furore was a whole branch where someone was like ‘sex worker huh bet you’re bad at it’ and I was like ‘yep! that’s why I don’t do it any more! it’s hard work and it involves a lot of self-promotion and customer skills which I don’t like and am not good at!’ and this was a Whole Thing where they kept trying to insult me (much like today’s anon) about my supposed failures as a Slut Who Is Bad At Sex and I kept going like ‘ok but here’s how that just. doesn’t make sense in reference to what sex work actually is so like, ok?’)

and Stuart Semple and I were also having a conversation which, depending on your perspective I would call his attitude either conciliatory or passive-aggressive, there was a lot of ‘me and my followers would never say rude things about you :) keep up the art kiddo :)’ and being charitable I would say he was trying to be nice while being angry, and to avoid escalating (but with the added context I got later about the wig comment, I think that interpretation of his behaviour maybe. has some cracks?) and ultimately he took down the posts, we had a brief conversation about keeping pet reptiles (apparently he has a lizard) and we left it on, if not good terms, at least peaceable ones.

however I still periodically get messages about it from angry Semple stans. and I’m not sure the argument was resolved, in that I still very much think it’s fair to make criticism, including quite harsh criticism (which I’m not sure ‘adolescent’ is), on art which is put out for public display and enjoyment, and that it isn’t a personal attack to post a criticism of someone’s public-facing work and statements on social media unless you actively target it towards them (for example, @ ing them), and Semple still thinks there’s no difference between a random blog with under a thousand followers criticising a public figure’s work and a public figure with 100k followers on most platforms criticising that blog (out of context - he clipped out the post I was reblogging from and my explanatory tags, and looking at my blog you may notice that 90% of my nuance is in the tags) while giving his followers all the information to find said blog.

(also as multiple people have remarked. if you want to say it’s an unfair criticism to call your online presence immature, being a middle-aged artist who as far as I can tell has a net worth over a million who spends your time name searching yourself in order to get mad at untagged mild criticism from strangers on the internet and share it on all your socials for your followers to join you in Being Big Mad is uhhhhhhh. it uh. it’s not like. not super thin-skinned and immature)

(also also I just googled his net worth and unsurprisingly I can’t find a source on it I’d consider reliable, but I did find multiple articles about him getting in trouble for breach of contract and nonpayment for gallery employees, including two accusations of him writing a big defensive blog post then changing it after a few hours to a very short post saying I LOVE YOU so like idk how true that is but it does seem. consistent with the above interactions.)

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iinfortunii · 4 years ago

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rules: code of conduct.

BEGIN.

Before we start, I would like you to have certain things in mind when approaching me ooc. I am very shy and quite awkward, which results in me not being much of a talker; however, I will always try my best to be friendly to whoever wants to approach. I dislike pet names so please do not use them with me unless we are very close. There will be times when I'm just exhausted, so my wording could sound rude/aggressive, to which I apologize in advance -I never mean to hurt people’s feelings. I also reserve the right to interact with WHOEVER I want, and pestering me about it will only get you blocked.

Updates will be made as required.

I. BASIC.

A. This blog is: Selective / Independent / Canon Divergent / NSFW / Mutuals only / Singleship / Mostly iconless / Multiverse / AU, Crossover, OC, and Multimuse friendly / Vaguely affiliated with the OP RP fandom.

B. I am a very slow rper for many reasons —school, family, my ever-fluctuating mood —and I would appreciate it if you refrained from pestering me for replies. In return I offer as much patience as necessary. Think of this blog as low activity please.

C. English is not my mother language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.

D. I track the tag #iinfortunii, although mentioning me works just as fine.

E. Constructive criticism is always welcome but anon hate will be immediately deleted. I have no problems if you disagree with my portrayal, but it doesn't give you the right to harass me.

F. Mun and muse are both over 18, so there are chances that heavy content will be present; however I won't be writing smut. I can roleplay anything before or after the act if requested, but the moment things get far too explicit, I'll do a fade-to-black. I ask of you to not lie about your age or else you’ll be blocked indefinitely.

G. This is a heavily headcanon-based blog, and changes are likely to be made as more information is revealed about him, though I reserve the right to adjust the new information according to my interpretation of Deuce or simply ignore it, which is why I’m canon divergent.

H. If you'd like to turn an ask into a thread, you can turn it into a new post, or reblog from me, as I won't be using the Tumblr asks anymore due to the problems that come with formatting and such.

I. Ask box is open for everyone ic or ooc, but you aren't allowed to turn it into a thread and nor I will reply to it if we’re not mutuals. Please don't push me, because I won't hesitate to block.

J. No godmoding —only a minor is allowed if it moves a thread forward —or metagaming, please. Don't kill Deuce either, unless plotted beforehand, and most importantly, don't hold your muse back.

K. Discord is available for mutuals upon request.

L. Just because I write something it does not mean I condone it. Please have this in mind and again, do not pester me about it. Any and all nsfw matters will be tagged accordingly. There will be triggering topics present, and you can know more about this on the section below.

M. DO NOT involve me in drama or call-out posts. I’m heavily against both things. On this note, you’ll never see me rebloging a call-out post. This culture is so damaging and toxic, and I firmly believe no one should play the role of the judge for the good of the community just because you had issues with someone or don’t agree with the things they roleplay. Talk things privately, be mature about it, hard-block the person and move on. I am also very aware that a lot of people have done things that can’t be excused, but I like to believe that people can change for the better. If you try to drag me into it, I'll hard block any and all people involved indefinitely.

II. TRIGGERS.

A. They will be tagged as trigger tw, trigger / and trigger cw.

B. I do my best to stay up to date with my mutuals triggers. Your comfort is way more important to me than you might think, so never be hesitant to approach me via IM, (anonymous) ask or stop following me.

C. Triggers that are likely to appear, although some more than others: violence || blood || death || drugs || abuse || knives || body image || medical equipment || suggestive content || etc

D. I have no triggers, so you are free to go wild with your content. I only ask you remember to tag your nsfw (both written and visual), please.

III. INTERACTIONS.

A. Deuce won't like everyone. He might/will make wrong assumptions about your character. He will insult and bite back. He won't always be nice to those he likes. He does many things that serve his interests. You, as the mun, have no reason to take it personal, because I'm won't follow someone I don't like; if you DO take it personal however, and decide to rouse drama, then I'll be hard-blocking you. Goes for me as well —I have no reason to get angry for any of the things noted above.

B. My bonds page displays the relationships that have been built over time, not necessarily through interaction alone but over plotting as well. Refer to it for more information.

C. Interactions with OCs related to canon characters will only take place as long as said OCs have a detailed about page. Personally, I'm not interested in the idea of an OC being blood-related to my portrayal, so I apologize in advance.

D. Formatting isn’t a big thing across my blogs, save for the small text. Please don’t mix either sup/sub with small text when writing with me, as I have eyesight problems. Don’t use colored text either.

E. Non-romantic pre-established relationships are allowed! Just make sure to talk it out with me first, yeah?

01. Spade / Whitebeard pirates (canon and original characters alike that i am MUTUALS with) will have a pre-established relationship as long as the other mun is comfortable with such idea, though that relationship will be limited to merely crewmates, unless discussed otherwise.

F. You don’t need to match my writing length as long as I’m given enough to work with. If something about my reply bothers or doesn’t work with you, let me know and I’ll re-work it.

G. I really enjoy plotting scenarios or talking out about the relationships my muse could have with other muses, so hit me up if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll try to do the same!

H. Mun does not equal muse, so don’t go assuming I’m a jerk simply because Deuce is an asshole from time to time. I’m set on the idea that I’ll give people the same treatment they give me —which is always nice and kind. Kudos to everyone for this ♡

I. I don’t use a threadtracker because I rely on my memory (terrible mistake, I know), but I try to draft people’s replies as soon as I see them. If by any reason it seems like I lost it, then please let me know / send me a link with it and I’ll be deeply grateful.

J. I don’t do nor reply to greetings starters for matters of my own comfort, so I ask of you to never expect a starter or a reply from them.

IV. SHIPPING.

A. Singleship, with the spot taken by daadzi, which means Deuce is no longer open for romantic relationships.

01. Under no circumstances, I will accept more romantic relationships once the spot is taken. That being said, I won’t discourage your muse from falling for / hitting on him, although I ask you to understand he will never respond with the same interest or will never react gently if he’s pushed too far.

02. If my shipping partner is comfortable enough, I'll interact with duplicates with the condition that the relationship is strictly platonic.

B. Constant interaction, mutual interest, and chemistry are a must for the sake of better communication (both ic and ooc, preferably).

C. Please do not approach me if you wish our characters to have either a: one night stand or friends with benefits type of relationships. It won’t work out due to the nature of Deuce’s personality, and for that I apologize.

E. My ship has its own tag so you're free to block it if you don't want to see it on your dashboard. In addition, I'll also tag those posts with only the ship name for this very purpose.

F. Please do not force ships on me.

V. CELEBRATIONS.

A. First off, I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with dates, and to be frank, I am not the biggest fan of celebrating, which is why I think it’s necessary to say I won’t be partaking in any holidays, not even Deuce’s birthday (not that he has one, to begin with). Obviously I will still reply to any gifts received, and will send out things in return —you know, common courtesy.

B. I won't be sending out birthday gifts every year, and I might write drabbles for people once in a blue moon; it doesn’t mean they will be done for the specific date though, so please be patient.

VI. REASONS TO NOT FOLLOW BACK / UNFOLLOW.

A. Too much drama / call-outs / vague posts / sexual content.

B. Content makes me uncomfortable.

C. You are a personal blog without a visible rp sideblog. Please make sure it's easy to find.

D. You do not have a proper tag system.

E. Your blog doesn’t have a rules and about pages.

F. You lack the manners to deal with people respectfully.

G. I have no interest / lost interest.

H. I'm constantly / only used as a meme archive.

I. Other reasons may apply. I will soft block so we can both cease following each other and avoid any potential awkward situations. I won’t make a fuss if you decide to unfollow so I expect the same courtesy.

VII. ABOUT BEATRICE.

She is not a real person. Her concept as Deuce’s (toxic) pseudolover is my creation and was somewhat inspired from the real life Beatrice Portinari. Do have in mind that Deuce doesn’t talk about her so your muse can’t simply approach him and ask about her unless they can go through his memories / read his mind / any capability alike or he speaks about her, though it won't take a genius to figure out that she's a product of his imagination.

You can read about her by clicking here -link to be added.

She serves as a lie to shield himself from the internalized homophobia he deals with up until meeting Ace.

NOTE: As stated previously, Mun =/= muse, but I too have been dealing with compulsory heterosexuality for far too long, so I'd like to apologize in advance for projecting a bit of that into my portrayal. I'll work so that this part makes sense with what we've been given from Ace's novel.

VIII. MISCELLANEOUS.

A. I will never force people to follow me, so if by any reason you have to unfollow/block me, please go ahead. Your comfort matters and have every right to do what you must to ensure your wellbeing. With that said, I will not tolerate and will immediately hard block if you try to police my content.

B. I do not follow back immediately, and it can take me from a few hours to several days to follow back. Do not take it personally if I choose not to.

C. If I follow it’s because I am interested in interacting. I only ask you to be patient because it might take me a while to gather the courage to send something to your inbox or talk to you.

D. I have. ZERO knowledge about medicine. Don’t expect me to go full force and try to be 100% accurate, because I won’t.

E. I practice reblog karma (send a meme to someone if I’m rebloging it from them). If you see something you’d like to reblog but have no intention in sending something yourself, then please reblog from the source.

IX. FINISH.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! As you might have noticed, there’s no password to send. Make sure to check the psa tag for any updates, or don’t hesitate to send an ask if there’s anything unclear! I do my best so as not to post too much OOC posts, but sometimes it just happens. If it's nothing important, then I'll erase it whenever I have the chance/remember.

Keanu Reeves vc: You’re all breathtaking!

#pinned post.#long post #❝ —talking nonsense ; ooc #❝ —off to new adventures ; queue #ooc.#queue.#[ this is a very long post btw ]

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killjoy-loveit · 5 years ago

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Something You’re Not

A/N: Welcome to Spring Season Stories! This is the 18th of the daily stories in April, so be on the lookout for more! If you’re wondering what the posting schedule is, then search ‘Spring season Stories’ on my blog and the calendar should pop up. I would like to clarify that everything written in this story is complete fiction and isn’t to be taken as a true portrayal of reality. As always, the links for my masterlists will be in the notes, though I have come to find (after months of doing this lmao) that on mobile you have to click my reblog of the post to actually get the links- same applies to desktop. I am just going to add that I am planning on a part 2 of this, just so y’all don’t think I’m 110% out to crush your hearts.

Summary: Not everything is what it seems.

Word Count: 2,832

Genre: Spy AU, Angst, a bit of fluff in the middle

Light spilled in from the window behind you, easily illuminating the papers sitting out on your desk. Despite being easy to read, you wanted to slam your head against the desk in frustration. How is it okay to send so much paperwork, to analyze and go over, a mere hour from the meeting? Your boss must be out of his mind to think you’d be able to fully comprehend over a hundred pages filled with legal jargon in that short of a time frame. A scream of annoyance built up in your throat as thoughts plagued you to just toss the documents and finally quit. It sucked to be taken advantage of like this, over and over again.

All because your boss, Mr. Dunne, the eccentric government official he was, knew that you weren’t very good at saying no to more work. This was because you were desperate to prove your value as an employee for your government so that you might be promoted. There was no way in hell you were going to let your political science degree, acquired from one of the most prestigious universities in the nation, go to waste. Putting up with such harsh extremes was your duty as you, unluckily, were hired to assist him with his work, rather than his kinder associate Ms. York.

She was the one you were hoping to work for in all honesty. Ms. York was known for her high morals and consideration of the people, not to mention she was one of the youngest government officials in office and a woman at that. There were times you ran into her in the hallways and she always made sure to greet you politely, asking how you were doing, before moving on her way. Everyone spoke highly of her, even the terrible Mr. Dunne, whose approval was difficult to gain.

“Enough of dwelling on how Mr. Dunne sucks, these papers aren’t going to analyze themselves,” you muttered quietly.

Just like that, your mind focused on the task at hand, letting go of the heavy frustration and annoyance weighing on your mind. Words seemed to bleed together as your eyes flew over each page, taking brief seconds to highlight important parts. Little notes were written in the margins if a section didn’t quite make sense, while small stars indicated something that was written well. By the end of the hour, you had managed to go over approximately ninety percent of the papers placed on your desk. Which was an excellent job, if you must say so yourself.

At that moment a knock sounded on your office door before opening to reveal Mr. Dunne himself. He stepped in with an air of authority that would make anyone else afraid to question him. His demeanor was always something you had admired, despite his terrible personality, he always carried himself well and demanded respect wherever he went.

“Do you have the papers ready?”

A tight smile graced your lips. “I have almost finished all of them. If I could be admitted into the meeting later I can finish the rest and bring them to you then.”

“You couldn’t finish such a small task?” His tone dripped with disapproval.

“Sir, I sincerely apologize. I have only ten more pages left to go over. I can give you what I’ve finished and bring the rest into the meeting later if you allow me to.”

“Fine. Give me the ones that are finished.”

The smile you held firmly on your face was starting to feel painful. “Yes sir, of course. Here they are.” You stated politely, lifting the stack of papers and handing them to him.

Mr. Dunne let out an annoyed huff before turning and excusing himself from your office. Once you were sure he was gone, you dragged your hands down your face in frustration. Letting out a sigh you turned your attention to the remaining ten pages, refocusing in on the work.

Each place you went in the store was crowded with those who were doing their grocery shopping after getting off work. Normally you were aware of this rush and you tended to avoid it by shopping early on the weekends, but you hadn’t been able to make it this past weekend. Now you were stuck having to go during the store’s busiest hours, having to squeeze through the throngs of people just to get a few items. There were only a few things left for you to collect before being able to rush home: milk, bread, and cheese. Getting the last two items was no big deal, but as you made your way to the refrigerated section containing milk, it was clear that you might not leave the store with the half-gallon you’d wanted.

You were about to turn around, giving up on the milk entirely when you saw one left, sitting at the very back of the section. Quickly, you made your way to it, hand outstretched and ready to grasp the handle. But someone beat you to it. With a spin of your heels, you turned to face the person who had taken the half-gallon you were going for. The guy in question seemed to be oblivious that you had even been there, let alone reaching for the same thing as him. A small sound of frustration escaped you at the loss. It appeared you wouldn’t be having coffee this week, not unless you woke up earlier to stop by a cafe on your way to work.

“Are you okay?” A voice broke through your thoughts of having to endure Mr. Dunne without being properly caffeinated.

Your eyes locked onto the guy who had just barely managed to swipe the milk from you, all without realizing he’d done so. “Yeah… Yeah, it’s just that was the last of the milk and I need milk for my coffee. I’m now going to have to handle my boss without coffee. Let me just tell you, I have never known someone more frustrating than him!” You complain, hands waving in the air when talking about Mr. Dunne. A second later, after seeing the guy’s bewildered face, embarrassment crept up on you. “Sorry, you probably didn’t need all of that information. Umm, I’ll be on my way now.”

You had maybe made it a couple of feet before you felt something being placed into your basket. Tilting your head, you spotted the same guy you’d just been conversing with. The milk settled in your basket.

He gave you a small smile. “I figure you need this more than me, I don’t need it to put up with my boss.”

“I-Uh… Thank you. No, really, thank you so much!”

His eyes shone with a gentleness, this paired with the way he nodded at you before turning around had you calling out for him to wait.

“Yes?”

“Umm, well… Could I maybe treat you to coffee sometime to thank you?” You asked softly.

“I’d like that.”

It wasn’t until a week later that you were both able to meet up for coffee. Chan, you’d learned his name when exchanging contact information, was kept almost as perpetually busy as you were. Everything had started smoothly, a light chatter being upheld as you ordered your drinks and paid. But that chatter has long since faded and you felt awkwardness creeping up on the two of you. You, for one, were staring down at the table, every so often your gaze flickered over to Chan sitting opposite you. Wracking your brain for anything to start up the conversation anew was slightly frustrating. Any way you typically knew how to create a conversation had fled your mind, leaving you alone with frantic thoughts along the lines of ‘how do you converse with someone?’.

Finally, the silence was broken by Chan himself. “So, what do you do for work? I remember you mentioning that your boss is pretty difficult.”

The tension in your body eased off as you were freed from thinking about how to start a conversation. “Yes! He really is hard to put up with. My job is kind of odd, I work for the government but not in one specific area. The man who works over me, my boss, has duties in multiple departments and since I’m his assistant, I also technically work in multiple areas as well.”

“I’ve never met anyone who works for the government before. What’s it like?” He asks, tilting his head.

“Well, it’s not easy, that’s for sure. Right now I don’t exactly have high clearance so I deal with all the paperwork and subsequent tasks for my boss. Basically I do the grunt work, make reports and file things to make his job easier.”

Over the next year, the two of you grow closer. Near constant texting turns into spending practically every spare moment together. You’ve come to find you simply enjoy Chan’s presence, the stress, and tension held in your shoulders because of work lessening when he’s around. It wasn’t uncommon to spy the two of you together at a cafe in the early morning hours, or grabbing takeout before heading to your apartment to watch movies. During this time you learned more about each other than you think you’ve ever learned of someone in only a year.

If someone asked, you could tell them his favorite elementary school teacher, the way he likes his coffee, his favorite water brand, that he’s a sensitive soul, when he lost his first baby tooth, or how he broke his arm in high school; Not to mention so much more. The same could be said for him, even some of the more embarrassing moments of your life that you had spilled while drunk. Granted you weren’t alone in your ability to embarrass yourself while drunk, you had more than enough ammunition to tease him on the regular. However, you found yourself wishing for more, just a little bit. Your heart swelled at the mere thought of him, and the way your other friends teased you about him always managed to make you blush furiously.

It was hard to tell if he felt the same way, even though the few times your other friends had spent with the two of you had convinced them he was most certainly interested in you as well. They managed to hype you up to this point: inviting him over for dinner and telling him how you felt. Just the thought of having to say those words ‘I don’t want to be just friends’, made your heart hammer in your chest. Speaking of, Chan’s due to arrive any time now, meaning it’s time to double-check everything. Chicken bolognese was doled out perfectly on two plates, finished just a few minutes ago, joined by a sweet wine settled in the decanter your sister gifted you over the holidays.

Digging your teeth into your lower lip, you wondered if this was too much, or too serious. After all, neither of you had ever had a dinner like this together before. Thankfully a knock at the door put an abrupt dent in your harried mind.

“Is this too serious?” You ask after showing him to the small dining area. “It is, how about we just go eat in the living room?”

Chan laughs quietly. “Whatever would put you at ease.”

“Living room it is then.”

Moving the food was no difficult task, and soon enough you were settled on the couch, feet tucked underneath you. With the television on in the background, conversation flowed as per usual. Quick rundowns of your days before moving on to different topics, most of which were based on different articles one of you had read. Just as you finished dinner and were preparing to tell him, you received a text from Mr. Dunne - who was no longer your boss, since you’d gotten promoted a few months prior, but you still worked with him on important proposals - informing you of an emergency related to the new draft you were working on. Apparently an official from the country you were trying to work out an agreement with had sent in new demands.

After apologizing profusely and being waved off by Chan, who understood the importance of your work, you grabbed your laptop and proceeded to work in the living room. Despite having to work through quite a few new emails relating to the issue, the conversation continued in a relaxed manner. Until all the wine hit your bladder, and you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, setting the laptop on the coffee table and rushing off. You took a bit longer than usual, checking on your appearance, making sure not a hair was out of place. Maybe your cheeks were a tad pink, but it was hard to tell if it was due to the alcohol in your system or if you were preemptively embarrassed.

Neither option truly mattered it’s not like slightly pink cheeks suddenly made you unattractive. Taking a deep breath, you exited the bathroom, an anxious smile tugging at your lips. Normally Chan could always tell when you were coming back and he would call out to you before you even made it to wherever he was. This time he didn’t. This time, he was leaning forward, eyes glued to the screen of your laptop, fingers tapping away at the keys. A chill went down your spine. What is he doing? Did he need to look something up? Why didn’t he say something if he needed to use your laptop?

Creeping closer as silently as possible, you peered over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. At that moment you had the urge to throw up. Your stomach gurgled as the food you’d just consumed felt like it was souring in place. Why would he do this? Was he using me this entire time? To get information? How long has he been doing this? Your eyes stung with unshed tears, your lungs felt like they were on fire. You stumbled back, unable to stand behind him any longer, a choked breath alerting him of your presence.

Chan’s head whipped around, eyes going wide at the sight of you. “I didn’t hear you get back.”

“What were you doing?” Your voice came out shaky and you could feel your hands trembling at your sides.

He smiled nervously, his hand going to the back of his neck. “Nothing, I was just looking at the forecast for the week.”

You head spun. He lied to you. You caught him, he had to know that you saw, and he blatantly lied to you. “Don’t. Don’t lie to me. Why were you looking at my work files? You know those are confidential.”

He tried to play it off by looking embarrassed by his actions. “I’m sorry, I got curious. You’re always talking about it but you can never get into specifics.”

“Stop! Stop treating this as if it isn’t a big deal! I invited you over to tell you I’m interested in being more than friends, and you- you… You’re lying to me.” You back away from him, shaking your head, a stray tear sliding down your cheek.

“You want to date me?” He asked standing up, lips parted in surprise.

“Don’t change the topic,” you say harshly. “Tell me what you were doing. Is this the first time you’ve gone onto my laptop and accessed confidential files?”

It took a minute for him to answer, a minute that felt like an eternity. “It’s not the first time.” Your sob echoed in the room, causing him to move towards you with a distressed look on his face. “Wait, please, you don’t understand —”

“What is there to understand? You used me! I could get fired because of you!”

“Please,” Chan begged, stepping forward to grasp your hands in his.

You ripped your hands from him. “Was anything out of your mouth the truth or was everything a lie? Did you ever consider what would happen to me if it’s discovered I was the one you took information from? You know what, I don’t want your excuses, those are left to real friends. And that’s something you’re not.”

“Please, just let me explain.”

Shaking your head, you point towards the entrance to your apartment. “Get out.”

“Please,” he breathed, eyes watery as he stared at you. You felt your heart shatter.

“Leave. Get out. Now.” You set your jaw, looking away from him as more tears slid down your cheeks. “Don’t make me say it again.”

His footsteps sounded on the wooden floors as he walked away, getting softer with each step he took. Once the sound of the door being opened and shut echoed in the apartment, you felt your legs give out. You didn’t have the strength to get up, remaining on the floor as you felt the world crumble around you. A mess of emotions warred within you: disbelief, rage, betrayal, sadness. What are you meant to do now?

#spring season stories #a.c.e #a.c.e fanfic #a.c.e scenarios #a.c.e spy au #a.c.e angst #a.c.e yuchan #a.c.e chan #a.c.e chan fanfic #a.c.e chan scenarios #a.c.e yuchan fanfic #a.c.e yuchan scenarios

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grapefruitsketches · 4 years ago

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Chapter 8, Memory

Final part of my Songxiao post-canon fix-it fic series, started under the Untamed Spring Fest 2020 event:

Please see the reblogged version of this under the my-writing and songxiao-fix-it-series tags on my blog - will be a pinned post for the next little while - for links to previous chapters/the Ao3 version!

4,134 Words

“Remember your assignment, Xiao-daozhang!” Wen Qionglin said good-naturedly, although Song Lan knew that undertone well, the one that softly implied an or else if the kindly reminder wasn’t heeded.

And with a soft nod from Xingchen, and the requisite farewell bows, Wen Qionglin had gone.

The farm was quiet.

For the first time since Xingchen had awoken in Cloud Recesses, the two were truly alone.

It had been Wei Wuxian’s idea.

“You know,” he had said, chewing thoughtfully on a particularly tough piece of pork, “Lan Zhan tells me that your guqin playing has gotten pretty good, Song-daozhang. Right, Lan Zhan?”

Hanguang-Jun, apparently long resigned to his husband’s insistence on starting conversations not only during meal times, but mid-bite, nodded.

“I wonder if… now that you don’t usually even need an interpreter… if you two might want some… alone time?”

To Song Lan’s relief, Xingchen (having completely missed the combination of Wei Wuxian’s suggestive eyebrow raise and Hanguang-Jun’s silent mouthing of Wei Ying!, and the sudden flush Song Lan could feel rushing to his face) was able to, quite innocently, consider the idea, “Hmm… I mean, if you two don’t mind us being here alone, then it might be nice… I mean… it might be good to test how well this works, just the two of us… if we are to… to travel alone again.” Xingchen’s voice faded out, and Song Lan felt his heart quicken. They had not yet discussed what might follow their time at the farm. For months, it had seemed enough to imagine that where they were might as well have been where they always were, where they would forever be, even though both knew there had been a beginning and so there would be an end.

But now… Xingchen’s mental state had seemed to be improving steadily as of late. There were still nightmares, still outbursts. But they were more controlled. Xingchen seemed to be getting more comfortable with the idea that these emotions would rise from time to time, and, at least out loud, did not chastise himself so much for them.

“What do you think, Zichen?” and with this offer of a future, of a something that came next, of a return to something that looked like the normal of his life twenty years ago, of course, Song Lan caught the other’s hand and squeezed a quick, enthusiastic, Yes.

And so, after seeking Wen Qionglin’s approval of the suggestion, the date was set for the cessation of Wen Qionglin, Wei Wuxian, and Hanguang-Jun’s rotating visits. Letters were sent to the Juniors, who were liable to pop by at a moment’s notice, that the farm would be off limits until and unless Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen decided otherwise.

It would be just the peace and quiet that the two had wanted, had deserved, for so long. Just the right way to ease back into the peace and quiet on the road that so clearly characterized Song Lan’s favourite memories - the two of them alone, side by side.

Or so Song Lan had thought.

Barely five weeks in, he began to feel restless. He and Xingchen went about the daily chores, took boat rides, had picnics, cooked, cleaned, took walks, explored. But the farm was starting to feel exceptionally small without the ever-rotating collection of friends (did Song Lan dare acknowledge them as family?) to distract from the sameness of the scenery, the sameness of the limited range of activities. Fuxue seemed to whine at his back, Shuanghua humming comfortingly, but Song Lan felt that it too wondered, why, now that they were not held here by obligations to friends and family, they were not pursuing far more important matters.

But it was also Shuanghua that brought echoing words of Wen Qionglin back to Song Lan, words that reminded him that there was still work to be done. Here. Now. Work that needed this quiet alone time to work itself out.

Why does Song-daozhang still carry Shuanghua for you?

Remember your assignment!

Song Lan wondered what that assignment might be, but never dared intervene or ask about Xingchen’s solo sessions with Wen Qionglin. It had hurt at first, to be suddenly excluded from the meetings, but he had soon recalled what his early sessions had been like, and flinched at the thought of Xingchen being there. He had been grateful even then that he had been using sign language at the time. He didn’t even have to worry about Xingchen overhearing anything in a moment of lucidity from the spirit pouch that had never left his side.

If Wen Qionglin had taken the time to remind Xingchen of the assignment as he left, it must have been important. He was sure Xingchen had not forgotten, but knowing Wen Qionglin, it wouldn’t be anything easy.

It was clear Xingchen was working hard on his recovery. Song Lan did not think Xingchen realized how light a sleeper he was now, but every morning Song Lan watched, as Xingchen reached for the blade. He saw that, every morning, he flinched away. A full arm’s length still between his fingers and Shuanghua. He watched how Xingchen steadied himself before standing back up, seeming to conclude that today, again, was not the day. Xingchen would sigh, unconsciously letting his fingers brush the raised scar, the only spot on Xingchen that Song Lan tried to avoid looking at, before lying back in bed.

Xingchen would then let a hand drift over to Song Lan - maybe to his hair, his waist, his arm - before apparently falling asleep so the two of them would seem to wake up together just a little later (Song Lan always making a show of stretching not long after this morning ritual, Xingchen mirroring with a sleepy yawn, both doing their best so that the other didn’t realize they had been awake for quite some time by then).

But Shuanghua was not the assignment. At least, Song Lan didn’t think so. Instead, the hints came at the quietest of moments. While the soup bubbled. While they dozed in the sun on a nearby hill. When Song Lan stopped rowing for a while and let the stream carry them lazily downriver. Xingchen would sit up, maybe open his mouth, maybe raise an arm to meet Song Lan’s. Sometimes, he would even seem to start to say the words, “Zichen, I…” or “I need to…” before pivoting suddenly to something wildly different than his tone had originally implied, “…am hungry. Let’s go make dinner” or “…tell you this terrible joke Wei-gongzi told me.”

Song Lan’s heart ached for him. He was clearly trying, so hard. Xingchen was tired. His face drawn, strength returning but fortitude slipping. And there was nothing Song Lan could do except to play, over and over again, the chords, I’m listening.

It had been three months that they had spent alone at the farm. Xingchen knew he was running out of excuses. And while the excuses ran out, and his ability to resist weakened, the pressure within him mounted. There were nights where he couldn’t sleep, torn between his desire to just let go, and his fear of turning out to be too much for Zichen after all. He knew Zichen wouldn’t leave, but in a way, that made it worse.

But the peaceful days went on. And Zichen seemed only to get sadder. The notes of the guqin not intrusive, but still imploring.

I need to tell him. But I can’t. He had said.

You want to tell him. And you can. Wen Qionglin had corrected.

But what if he does not want to know? Xingchen had asked.

What would you want him to hide from you?

And even though it had taken months, and the pressure building to near unbearable levels, for Xingchen to realize, he finally understood that Wen Qionglin was, as always, right.

“Zichen… I need to… no, I want to… talk to you about, about Yi City.”

The words had come out of him in a rush. Xingchen honestly couldn’t believe he had finally said it. But there the words hung, heavy. Finally escaped from his lungs, his heart, unretractable.

A long, unbearable silence followed, and Xingchen heard the sound of urgent shuffling, the guqin being dragged closer to Zichen. The instrument had apparently been left with wheelbarrow as they dug up fresh potatoes. Xingchen heard a faint clapping sound, Zichen ever unwilling to let a speck of dirt touch the smooth surface of the instrument.

And the chords which finally came, ones so familiar, so commonplace, brought tears to Xingchen’s eyes when he heard them answer. I’m listening. But this time, they were followed by something more. No matter what.

And so Xingchen began.

Song Lan had known, or at least suspected, most of this.

He remembered vividly the way Xingchen had laughed when Xue Yang had teased him, had seen the quiet little home those three had shared. He also had heard directly from the now, thankfully, dead man what brutal manipulations had been imposed on Xingchen. And Song Lan knew only too well, though most of his other memories as Xue Yang’s puppet were dull and distant, what revelation had been Xingchen’s breaking point, remembered this moment clearly. Song Lan had internally screamed out, realizing only then that there would never be a way for him to break out of the control the needles in his neck imposed. Because if Xingchen’s grief torn face, his gut-wrenching scream wouldn’t let him do anything more than turn his head just ever so slightly towards his beloved, nothing would.

But he listened. Of course he listened. And Xingchen clearly needed to speak. He tensed, but was not surprised at the guilt Xingchen carried, at the I should’ve knowns, all the I’m sorrys, every if only I hads. Each one a punch to Song Lan’s gut, hearing the weight Xingchen had been carrying, but bearable in that Xingchen was clearly letting off some of the pressure that Song Lan had watched Xingchen undeservingly endure since he had awoken. Had felt this man turn on himself even as far back as when he first felt the squirms of a reassembling soul in the pouch he had carried.

A hand on his thigh, “Zichen.”

Song Lan looked up, startled out of the trance Xingchen’s words had put him under. He realized Xingchen had been silent for a few moments, waiting anxiously for Song Lan’s response.

Song Lan reached for the hand, carefully slotting his fingers between Xingchen’s and holding tight. Xingchen smiled, a smile which finally seemed to light up his face the way it should. And something, a pressure Song Lan hadn’t noticed until now, burst inside him as well. Tears flowed freely from his - from Xingchen’s - eyes.

Song Lan thought of the young girl Xingchen had described, that he himself had met so briefly. He thought of Xingchen’s soft smiles at the younger visiting cultivators, and Song Lan wondered, as Xingchen must have, how A-Qing would have gotten along with them if she had truly had the chance.

He thought of loneliness and grief, how they could each inspire such compassion, such horror, or both. He thought of life, death, renewal. Baoshan Sanren, Yi City, Baixue Temple.

He thought of all the ridiculous thoughts that had crossed his mind over the long twenty years they had spent apart. That Xingchen must hate him. That Xingchen must blame him. That what had happened to Xingchen was his fault. He had fought these thoughts for years. Wen Qionglin supporting him, then Hanguang-Jun, now Xingchen. But until now, until hearing the same thoughts mirrored in Xingchen’s voice: that Xingchen, Xingchen thought he could ever be hated? That Song Lan could ever truly think any of this was Xingchen’s fault? Only now did Song Lan truly understand how ridiculous he must have sounded, similarly taking on all the blame.

Wen Qionglin had had regrets. Hanguang-Jun had had regrets. Each of them had demonstrated to Song Lan that your darkest moments, your biggest mistakes, your worst actions, did not have to define you. They had shown him that forgiving yourself could sometimes be a selfless act. If absolving himself for actions he’d taken under another’s control, if acknowledging his own growth past lashing out at Baixue Temple, could present the possibility to Xingchen that he could forgive himself? If Song Lan telling himself that no matter what he had done - willingly at Baixue Temple, unwillingly as a puppet - he was still worthy of living a life with the ones he cared for and who cared for him, if that made it any more likely that Xingchen understood that he deserved at least the same? Then suddenly any further moral quandry dissipated.

But he had to say something. He reached for his guqin, wondering just how to explain this to his partner. Instead, what came out was a question that had haunted him since the moment Shuanghua had pierced his chest.

I have sometimes thought… what if I hadn’t found you? Would you be happier? If you had never known… who he was?

He braced himself for these notes to fall heavily on their mood, for Xingchen to freeze, withdraw, think that Song Lan wasn’t as easy a confidante as he’d thought.

“No.” That was all Xingchen said. A simple word, and a gentle laugh.

So Song Lan was instead the one who froze, surprised. After a few moments, Xingchen heard the volumes Song Lan’s stillness spoke.

Xingchen sighed, “The truth is important. I still missed you all those years apart, even if there were others, trustworthy or no, with whom I could temporarily relieve that feeling once in a while.” Xingchen leaned a cheek on his hand, tapping it thoughtfully, “I don’t even know for sure if I didn’t suspect even then that something was wrong with the man who turned out to be… to be Xue Yang…” Xingchen raced through the end of the sentence, the name hard to say even now, “I just didn’t realize… no, never mind.”

Please. Simple, not forceful. Enough.

Xingchen smiled weakly, “I know now this wouldn’t excuse anything, and it’s still a pretty silly conclusion to come to but… I suppose I just didn’t realize, didn’t even consider, that if this person wasn’t to be trusted, that if he was by my side, that he could still hurt people that weren’t ah… you know.”

That he could hurt people who weren’t you. Song Lan understood, and didn’t need to hear Xingchen say so, or guess the end of the sentence through the guqin to confirm. An easy temptation, to think that saving others could be as simple as sacrificing oneself. It was one they had each fallen into at some point, but one that, hopefully, they were finally learning to leave behind.

Xingchen rested a hand on Song Lan’s shoulder, inviting, warm. And Song Lan responded in kind, pulling Xingchen close. There would be no more gardening today.

The sun went down over fields that had only recently seemed so confining. The fields now seemed almost endless, comforting in their depth. The two cultivators lay side by side, enjoying the shade as they leaned against the trunk of an ancient tree. The warm pinks and oranges painted across the sky reminded Song Lan of the campfires the two of them had fallen asleep next to on so many nights, back when they were still dancing around the now obvious fact that they wanted to remain at each other’s sides for as long as they were able.

Song Lan absent-mindedly strummed the guqin, describing for Xingchen the swirls of fading light, the way the last bursts of sunbeams painted the leaves of the peach grove below them. He had been thinking of new ways to adapt some of his poetry into this auditory language, and realized with a smile he might just be getting it. He looked down at Xingchen, who was resting his head on Song Lan’s shoulder, breathing slowly, evenly. Xingchen shifted, the delicate features settling into a faint smile. Song Lan’s smile reflected Xingchen’s without a thought. There was no contest between the sunset and Xingchen’s peaceful expression. Song Lan knew from experience that not even thousands of sunsets could match the latter.

“Song Zichen,” Xingchen said, the use of his full name taking Song Lan aback for a moment, but his tone was still drowsy, if sombre, “I need you to know that I will never put you through anything like that ever again. I cannot change the past but I cannot, will not cause any more suffering. Not on anyone, but not on you especially.”

Song Lan’s answer came through powerfully, louder chords than those he had been playing until now coming through naturally, an effortless translation of his own feelings on the matter, And I need you to know that if you do, I will be there to help you fix it. Because I cannot allow suffering for you any more than you can for me.

“Zichen, Zichen. Always one upping me with your words,” Xingchen laughed, losing the serious tone he had held moments before, “Just you wait until I can spar again. Then we will truly have some justice.” Xingchen yawned and snuggled closer into Zichen’s side. Song Lan returned to his softer, melodic descriptions of the landscape. Xingchen fell quickly into a gentle sleep, one that Song Lan hoped to be a well-deserved deep and peaceful one.

Song Lan blinked his eyes open, the pale light confusing until he realized - it was the sunrise. Xingchen’s arms were wrapped around him, the other man sleeping later than Song Lan for the first time in a long while. Song Lan had no intention of moving, of risking rousing him, and in the moment, failed to see the problem with staying here forever.

Something tugged at his mind, though, a feeling that he was missing something important, something obvious. Not quite as urgent as the feelings he often had on the battlefield, those ones which had saved his, and sometimes Xingchen’s, life on more than one occasion, but something important nonetheless.

He blinked lazily, doing a quick sweep of the surroundings.

The garden tools still rested in the wheelbarrow, the remains of their late lunch turned dinner packed neatly in the basket nearby. The fields were empty. Fuxue rested on his back.

That was it. Fuxue.

Or rather, Fuxue’s near constant companion.

Having sat by the tree with the initial intention that it would only be a quick break, Song Lan had not bothered to remove the swords from his back. And now Song Lan realized that at some point in the night, as Xingchen’s arms had snaked around Song Lan’s waist, as Xingchen had pulled him closer, a hand must have landed inadvertently on a certain blade.

And though the sword was still sheathed, though the hand was nowhere near the handle on which it belonged, Song Lan thought he heard, clear as the early morning birds taking stock of their nesting grounds, Shuanghua sing.

And so the days passed, boredom slipped away as they found each other again, easily, even if slowly, now that the final walls had fallen between them. The nightmares became rarer, and the past more historical fact than vengeful ghost.

They were sitting on the edge of the bed, side by side, contemplating the same spot near the corner of the room.

“I think I will this time,” Xingchen said, smiling, sure, not needing Song Lan’s answer, just stating this as the truth.

And in that moment, Song Lan believed him, of course he did. Before Xingchen even stood up, Song Lan had seen him cross the room, grab Shuanghua by the hilt, wield it, stand ready to protect as many as he could, to vanquish evil where he must. Song Lan knew he would be there by his side. He knew that at the end of a journey, they would come back, to a place like this, but a place far less quiet, one full of people who needed and loved them and who one day the world would need and love.

The nightmares of the past may be rarer, but the dreams for the future were becoming far more haunting.

The Xingchen of the present finally did lift Shuanghua from the stand, and, even if somewhat more hesitantly than Song Lan’s mind had presented it, Xingchen once again stood, truly united with his sword. Watching Xingchen, but mind still racing weeks, years, decades ahead, Song Lan knew the first chords he played should have been congratulatory, celebratory, awestruck. But instead, the chords his fingers danced over without a thought were instead, We should start talking about our sect again.

And if the mere thought of Xingchen reconnecting with Shuanghua, had been dazzling, then the sight of Xingchen turning, laughing, sword in hand and exuberant agreement lighting up his whole face? The sight almost made Song Lan need to shield his eyes from the brightness. Almost. But then, how could he forgive himself if he missed even a moment?

There were more talks, more walks, more cooking, boat rides, gardening. A tension had been relieved, worries still lurking but temporarily eased, more nuisance than threat. And soon, the farm came to feel too small again, like a cozy sickroom occupied just a bit too long after the fever had passed.

They spoke of the sect they would build.

“Zichen, I was thinking… if you think it would be right, we could set our sect up where…”

At Baixue Temple, came the quick set of chords. And Xingchen had grinned, nodding. They could not bring back or replace what was lost, but they could certainly keep their memories close by as they rebuilt their lives and reclaimed the dreams they had long believed forever out of reach.

When Wen Ning appeared, months after he’d left, arms laden with carefully chosen gifts and treats from the various villages where his patients lived, he came upon a sight that brought an immediate smile to his face, a glow of pride to his chest.

The clashing of swords, sweeping robes, elegant but powerful leaps through the air. The Distant Moon and Gentle Breeze. The Distant Snow and Cold Frost. Swirling, dancing together in playful combat, like snow flurries on a winter’s day. Shuanghua in one’s hand, Fuxue in the other. And if there was still a hesitation in one’s step, unwilling to take an opening he had clearly noticed, or if the other sometimes struck a bit more gently than the teasing, taunting voice challenged him to, to Wen Ning, this was still success.

And weeks later, after the proper festivities were had, after Xiao Xingchen asked to see Jin Ling’s dog and Wei Wuxian accused him of high treason, after Ouyang Zizhen spent half a day in silence, before breaking and realizing if he was going to be remembered in stories or song, it would not be as a Song Lan or Hanguang-Jun silent type. After Sizhui taught Song Lan the word for “adorable” and Xiao Xingchen’s cheeks remained flushed the rest of the evening once Hanguang-Jun translated the chord for him, if after all that Song Lan held Xingchen’s hand, and Xingchen understood that that meant it was time. If Xingchen asked if Song Lan was sure, and if Song Lan made out the chords for Yes. If Xingchen said, “To Baixue Temple?” and Song Lan replied, “They would want us to rebuild.”

If after all that, as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji watched the two cultivators set off, they felt a little stirring of nostalgia for the moment they had first detected whispers that they might have what they had now? If those two cultivators left side by side, one in white, one in black, a sword draped over each one’s back, and felt a feeling of rightness descend over them in a way it hadn’t for decades? Well, that wouldn’t mean that everything was back to how it was, or even that the world was as those two deserved it to be. But perhaps it meant it didn’t matter. That for them, it was enough to have each other, their dream, and an open road ahead of them. That the road behind, arduous as it had been, could be left as something only ever behind them. Always there, maybe having left a stain of dirt on robes or shoes so that it could not be readily forgotten, but not nearly as present as the road under their feet now.

And certainly never more important than the one they each had forever by their side.

[END]

Thank you so much if you've kept up with/read this whole thing! This is the longest fic I've ever posted, and just thinking of anyone having read so many words I wrote is both terrifying but so nice <3

Thank you again so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this journey!!

#songxiao #the untamed #cql #xiao xingchen #song lan #songxiao fix it series #mdzs #my writing

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backofthebookshelf · 6 years ago

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some vintage season two magnus archives theories

(this is 1000% self-indulgence, ignore me)

Dec. 11, 2016 - I will bet you anything that [Jonathan (we always called him Jonathan back then)] had a serious run-in with a supernatural something early in life, and he’s…avoiding becoming the vampire-hunter guy, but only because he’s squeamish.

Dec. 16, 2016 - if grbookworm1818 is not someone at the Institute then nothing means anything / What do we think: Did Gerard kill his mother, or was she turning herself into a book and he just cleaned up the mess?

Dec. 29, 2016 - I kind of wonder if our antiquarian friend has any relationship to the guy in Amsterdam with the coffin. It can’t have been the same person, obviously - if nothing else it’s strongly implied that whatever was in the coffin ate that guy - but for some reason I keep expecting that story to come back, and not just Breekon & Hope.

Jan. 9, 2017 - Can we think of The Archivist as a title with meaning? I know Rusty Quill uses it to refer to Jonathan Sims the character since the writer decided to use his own name. But does it have in universe meaning as well?(@fedorasandstuff)

Jan. 11, 2017 - But the real question is…Are the tunnels under the archives also Michael? [Can't get 'em all right.]

Jan. 12, 2017 - Also of concern: I’ve been assuming for a while that some of the factions in whatever supernatural chess game/cold war is going on were assuming that Jonathan as Archivist was roughly on a par with Gertrude as Archivist (actually, I’m pretty sure that some of them are not totally clear on the difference between one human and another, but it amounts to the same thing), and Jonathan has basically just admitted to Michael that he has no fucking clue what’s going on, and if Gertrude meant to leave him anything, he didn’t get it. (Except possibly some kind of protection on the Archive itself, which may or may not be directly her influence.) And we still don’t know if Michael is part of a faction or what any of the faction’s goals might be, except that Michael thinks that “this place” has an interesting impact on things and it doesn’t want that to stop just yet. Basically Jonathan’s just lost a card he didn’t know he could have played, which is almost definitely not good. [At least we know Jon isn't trying to manipulate anyone, he couldn't if he tried.]

Jan. 12, 2017 - And I’m kind of screaming internally? I have a few more headcanons now, I suppose? But mainly, the lightless flame/closed eye cult, seems to have it out for anyone associated with the seeing eye (and also Gertrude Robinson). Considering that Johann von Württembergs tomb and book collection also had the seeing eye as a symbol, I wonder if the Magnus Institute is somehow connected to the seeing eye as well. I have no idea where I’m going with this, or if there is some connection, but yeah. (@flammenkobold) [There are literally two notes on this post, my like and my reblog]

Jan. 12, 2017 - But my strong suspicion is that most creatures in this universe, and Michael especially, are not one of a type, they’re their own thing. But I do think that we’ve seen more of Michael than is immediately obvious. (More to come as I progress through the re-listen, but abandoned houses are…definitely a thing.)

Jan. 12, 2017 - It would amuse me tremendously if the whole of the Magnus Institute boils down to a grant-generating machine for the Archives.

Jan. 13, 2017 - But Gertrude died literally THE DAY AFTER “Antonio Blake” came in to give his statement about his dream about her death…so who filed that statement? Was someone just cleaning up in preparation for the new Archivist and stuck it in a box? Or was someone else moving files around for some other reason after Gertrude’s death? [This one still hasn't been answered, wahey!]

Jan. 14, 2017 - I don’t think Gertrude was… arrogant enough, if that’s the word I want, to believe she’d live forever… unless there’s more going on with her than I’ve even begun to suspect. But she may have had a beginning Archivist box ready. (@fedorasandstuff)

Jan. 15, 2017 - [in response to a question about your favorite one-off character]: Julia Montauk. I love that she’s not in denial but she’s coping pretty well – both about her father being a serial killer and about the supernatural. She’s pretty sure there’s something fucked up going on above and beyond the serial murder, but she’s happy leaving it alone, thank you very much, she just wants to get it out of her head so that she can move on with her life. I hope she’s still doing well.

Jan. 16, 2017 - [notes on re-listening] I’m torn on whether the apparition Lensik sees in the house causes burning because Raymond Fielding died in a fire, or because it’s somehow connected to the what I’m referring to as the Fire Nation faction (see also: First Aid, Burnt Offering). / Honestly, Trevor is so damn cool that I’m willing to bet he never crops up again. / Is Jonathan being watched by the Beholders? (I’m becoming more convinced that the closed eye/open eye isn’t two different factions but two levels of the same faction: the bronze versus silver pendant would seem to support that.) / “I believe every word. I’ve seen what Leitner’s work can do.” Which, all things considered, is pretty strong stuff coming from Jonathan Sims. I wonder if it was a run-in with a Leitner that got him working for the Institute in the first place?

Jan. 17, 2017 - I was just thinking about the last episode and making myself sad because John was ready to physically fight Michael over Helen doesn’t even KNOW Michael took Sasha (@regulusly) #shit is gonna go DOWN when he finds out

Jan. 18, 2017 - You know, I’m starting to think that I really like Gerard Keay.

Feb. 3, 2017 - Is Jonathan’s sarcasm his only defense against the creeping influence of The Archivist in his life?

Feb. 9, 2017 - new theory: everyone working at the Institute is a pod person. They hire potheads and dropouts and people with weird academic backgrounds and as soon as they get close to anything real they get replaced by beings from an alternate dimension, just like Not!Sasha. They missed Tim because he was out on medical leave after the attack; it’s just a matter of time now. Martin’s secret is that he’s been working there since 2002 and kind of knows everything and is not yet a pod person.

Feb. 15, 2017 - Although what do they both expect? To find a tape where Gertrude says “No! Elias, you Fiend! You’ll never get away with it!” (@fedorasandstuff)

Mar. 1, 2017 - The new episode has me thinking again about the Observer - the presence in the Archives that Jonathan thinks has an opinion about what his opinion about statements is, also probably connected to the panopticon prison, the nurse who felt the thing watching her when Gerard Kaey was in the hospital, the open eye and/or the closed eye motif that keeps recurring, and whatever it was that caused Gertrude to cut the eyes out of pictures of people on her books. Specifically, it has me thinking about the observer effect - that sometimes things change when they’re seen. This is a major horror trope, although it’s not usually called out so directly: monsters that move only when you’re not looking at them, things that lose their power when they’re seen and named directly, things that can exist only in the darkness. (There’s a nice resonance with the Montorks for you.) Is there something Gertrude was doing that she didn’t want the Observer to know about, or that could only be done unseen? What is the Observer - is it a direct relic of the panopticon (it would make sense as a genius loci kind of like Michael) or was the panopticon built in response to it, or to summon it? Whose purposes does the Observer serve - is it allied with the Institute on the whole, or with any particular faction? Or is it like Michael in that it has its own purposes that everyone else has relatively little to do with? (That seems unlikely to me at this point; I think the Observer is one of the core story points of this season.) Is it watching for a reason, or does it watch simply so that things are seen and known? #the magnus archives #yep it's meta time #i'm becoming attached to the idea that the observer is there for the protection of the archivist #somehow

May 17, 2017 - As to the Archives and the structures it imposes…I’m starting to wonder if it isn’t just that the Archives won’t let them go, but if there is a specific set of roles that it needs filled. We know Gertrude didn’t have assistants, and I’m starting to suspect that that was intentional on her part. But what if the Archives doesn’t just latch onto people and refuse to let go of them? What if it needs there to be a skeptic, and a caretaker, and the paranoid one, and - is not!Sasha part of the Archives’ structure, or is she a disruption of it? I feel like finding out more about where not!Sasha comes from and what her goals might be will be a key turning point in our understanding of this whole mess.

June 15, 2017 - Theory for the finale: Jonathan goes down into the tunnels, gets himself in hopelessly over his head, Tim and Martin come to the rescue, not!Sasha is revealed

June 28, 2017 - I’m starting to wonder if the real division in the supernatural ecosystem isn’t between things that use humans as vehicles and things that don’t? [Hey, uh, are there Powers that don't have human Avatars? This might still be a thing.]

June 29, 2017 - I do like the idea that there are people who basically cannot be fucked with, but then - why go to the Archives? She isn’t interested in a followup, she isn’t trying to process anything, she’s just sharing data. That screams pod person to me: something is trying to get Jonathan’s attention.

#the magnus archives #i'm not that good at theories #this show is just this good at foreshadowing #not posted: a number of confused theories about the tunnels under the archives being connected to michael #i was really invested in that one for a while

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spnfanficpond · 6 years ago

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November 2018 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting with Rhi, @kittenofdoomage!!! Thank you so much for joining us!

We talked about getting readers, interacting with readers, and how Tumblr has made it more and more difficult with their changes for new writers to get noticed. Details from our discussion with Rhi under the cut, as well as notes on what we’re working on in the Pond!

Q: Do you wait until you are done writing a series before you begin posting, or do you post as you write?

I wait until I'm done writing a series. At some point, the idea will catch me and I have to write the entire thing, which will take about three days. Editing for another 1-2 depending on my betas and then it gets released in its entirety on Patreon (my patrons like reading the entire fic in one go, they're paying for it so I'm not gonna make 'em wait) and comes out in chapters on Tumblr about three-four weeks later. I hate feeling like I'm making people wait too long and then shit happens like it did with three of my permanently hiatused fics.

Q: Well, as for why we're here, Rhi, you get so many asks every day. How do you have such involved readers?

A lot of my readers who respond are regulars. I have those who pop up with the odd "this is awesome" and those who will write long involved reviews which I love!

Q: Do you think there's anything in particular that you do that encourages people to interact with you?

Yeah, I'm open with people and pretty approachable. I like discussing things, plot points, characters, anything really. There are very few things that trigger me, too. I have only three specific things that will turn me away from a fic. I think my lack of triggers helps with people who need someone like that to talk to.

Q: Do you ever ask around and try to figure out what people are looking to read to try and help boost your reader count or do you just draw inspiration from your own ideas?

At the moment, I'm mostly working on commissions, so it's other people's ideas. I'm lucky that most of my Patrons and commissioners are very patient with me and know up front that I have no specific time limits. I will write it but I can't force it. And I won't force it because that leaves everyone with a shit story.I never put an idea away forever though. I write them all down. If inspiration hits for something, I write it there and then because I never know if I'll get that mojo back.

Q: Has there ever been an Idea that has caught you by surprise when you start it as one thing but it ends up as something else?

Only about six thousand times.

Over The Hills And Far Away that I'm writing now, was supposed to only be a Dean x reader but my reader decided to go and have chemistry with Sam too.

Q: Have you noticed a bump in followers after you do anything specific?

I always have a bump in followers after Sinful Sunday. Unfortunately, I always end up with a bump in unsolicited dick pics and porn bots, too, so a purge usually follows. When I post new characters or fandoms, too. I've recently picked up a bunch of Marvel followers.

Q: As a big blog, you must also get some hate. How do you deal with that?

They don't like me because I play with them and their insults are like water off a duck's back with me. Unless they bring my kid into it. I shut an entire set of blogs down when that happened. That's also why I no longer post anything to do with my daughter. I will avoid using her name wherever possible. If I'm in a bad mood, I ignore it. If I'm feeling like an utter bitch, I'll tear them a new asshole.

Q: Rhi, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate with family, work, and writing. Is there anything in particular that keeps your creativity flowing so you don't burn out?

I try and do something different every day. Painting, gaming, going for a walk - it's important for me not to spend all my time on one thing. Even if it's just cleaning. I also listen to a lot of music - Classic Rock on Absolute Radio is my fav. Actually, my favorite time to think about fics is when I'm about to go to sleep.

Q: I'm not sure how to even ask this, but I came into the spn fic fandom a little late and so I'm finding it difficult to gather new followers. Do you have any advice? I have a master post with the few pieces I've written but I've gotten a lot of flack for writing OCs...

Tumblr is not helping with regards to gaining new followers lately. Tags aren't working if you're an NSFW blog, no one can search anything. The only thing I can suggest is reblogging, asking other authors if they'll read your work.

[Other suggestions from the chat included submitting fics to @dirtysupernaturalimagines and the Pond, joining other people’s writing challenges (The Pond’s S14 Challenge is here, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing is always running challenges, and @mrswhozeewhatsis has a tag #writing challenge on her blog). Also, “Tumblr loves porn” and the fandom loves Dean, in particular, so writing more Dean smut will get you more readers. Just adding “Dean x Reader” to the tags, even if the relationship is barely mentioned, will get you more readers. Sam will get you the same result, but to a lesser extent. Rhi got bigger writing ABO fics, and carved out a niche for herself with them to the point she’s considered the ABO expert in reader insert fics. Another tip was to strip OC’s of names and defining physical features, since OC’s don’t get a lot of love. Many “Y/N”’s are actually just OC’s without a name. Also, if you’re writing a story that will eventually have smut, list “eventual smut” in the tags.]

Q: Random question: a bunch of us smaller blogs have noticed a drop in reblogs over the last year or so, and I'd be curious to know if, as a bigger blog, you've seen anything like this as well?

Absolutely. A year ago I was getting about 10-20k notes a day. Now, if I hit a thousand, it's a good day and I'm expecting to take a massive hit because of Sinful Sunday, if they don't entirely delete my blog.

Q: Does anyone have any idea why the notes have all dropped so much? Is it a glitch in notes? People being more apprehensive to reblog nsfw things because of all the nsfw fear going on?

Community responses: The posts with outside links not showing up in searches is related to bots and porn blogs that only reblog posts to add a link to a sketchy outside web page. Several months ago, though, Tumblr started the “best stuff first” algorithm (which can be turned off in your dashboard settings, but not everyone knows this), and that pushed posts with few notes to the bottom of the dashboard feed. Since you never really get to the bottom, those posts never get seen. Tags and reblogs to build up note counts are the only way to combat this. Now, messing with the search functions means that there will be no new readers without blogs that just reblog fics, like the Pond and @dirtysupernaturalimagines and such.

[Editor’s Note: Rhi told us she’s working on a UPS Driver!Sam fic!! I’m excited. “What can Brown do for me?” YES, PLEASE!]

What’s coming up in the Pond:

Angel Fish Award nominations are due by the end of the month, so you have less than a week to submit yours and gain an entry for every nomination into the raffle! Win fabulous prizes just for spreading love! HOW COOL IS THAT? (Also, don’t forget to submit your own fics to the Pond so that other Pond members can easily find them and nominate them!)

Note: Please use the submission form to submit nominations. Asks do not allow you to include a link to the fic, and sometimes we can’t find what you’re nominating, especially now that Tumblr searches don’t work.

Design contest to find a Pond graphic! Entries are due by the end of the month, so less than a week away! So far, we have ONE (1) entry! (I mean, it’s a pretty fabulous entry, but still!) Winner gets their choice of swag with their design on it!!

SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge - Since we didn’t have a new episode this past Thursday, the previous week’s challenge is still collecting submissions. (Honestly, there’s no deadline on any of them. Post a fic using a prompt from any week, and you’ll still be added to the masterpost and reblogged on the Pond blog.)

New Member Spotlight Post coming soon! Check out last month’s post here!

Still accepting additions and discussion about the Warning Tag List (tags to be used to assist folks in avoiding triggers and protect their mental health, not be confused with tags to help people find or avoid preferences). Reply or reblog the post itself, or send an ask to the Pond with suggestions!

Plans are in the works to try and make the blog more app-friendly. Please be patient with us in the meantime!

Plans to expand the beta program to make it easier to find the type of beta you need are also on the to-do list.

Housekeeping Note: If you send an ask to the Pond and do not get a response in a couple of days, please notify one of the admins (Michelle - @mrswhozeewhatsis, Mana - @manawhaat, or Kale - @aprofoundbondwithdean) via IM and let us know!

Thanks to everyone who joined us this month and made it an awesome conversation!! Can’t wait for next month!

Next month’s discussion: Giving feedback to other writers and how a beta reader can help your writing! Joining us will be @littlegreenplasticsoldier!

Be there Dec. 15th at the usual time! (Los Angeles - 2PM, New York - 5PM, London - 10PM, Melbourne - Sunday 9AM)

#spnfanficpond #chat room #spnfanficpond live chat #THE CHAT ROOM #pond chat

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ratandphilgames · 7 years ago

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Our Lives Don’t Collide

{chapter 5: hey look ma i made it}

summary: Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what’s worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

chapter word count: 2873

total word count: 12809

rating: t

note: super thanks to everyone who likes/ reblogs/ sends me a message! the support has been amazing! also huge thanks to all the babes in the writing gc for motivating me to write! ily!

updates on thursdays!

tw for this chapter: homophobia

{read on ao3}

{read from the beginning}

{next chapter}

—–

“Do you like me Dan? Are you trying to say you’re a big old gaylord?”

Dan was shaking his head furiously, trying to find a way to make it out of the room without being killed. There was no way out, there was never a way out. The room had no doors, no windows, no hope for escape. Just rows and rows of lockers.

He was in his teenage body, but his mind was aged adequately.

“Have you got a big fat gay crush on me Dan?”

He was cornered in the school hallway, conveniently, no teacher in sight, whether that was on accident or by design, Dan would never know. Sometimes he thought the educators turned a blind eye towards moments like these, thinking the little gay boy needed to be put in his place. A shiner wouldn’t do him any harm. A bruise would heal but a message would last forever.

The boy had no face, he was slenderman esq in his school uniform as he walked closer and closer to Dan, leaving no option for escape as Dan backed himself into the corner.

“Please don’t hit me.” Dan begged, the boy just laughed. All he ever did was laugh and taunt and corner him.

Suddenly people were crowding around, watching, humiliating him.

“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” the audience was chanting, knowing full well Dan wouldn’t fight back. He never fought back, his limbs seemed to be made of cement but even if they weren’t he wouldn’t retaliate.

The boy with no face raised his fist, prepared to pummel Dan into nothing, his peers screaming their support for his attacker, losing their shit as the faceless boy prepared to attack.

Right before the faceless boy could hit him, Dan’s eyes shot open and he looked around to realize he was not in his old school hallway, but rather his lounge. He’d fallen asleep on his couch the night before after Phil had left.

His heart was beating a mile a minute as he tried to get his bearings on the world around him. He always woke up from nightmares feeling as though he’d just run a marathon, his heart working overtime trying to choose between fight or flight when all it really needed to do was wake the fuck up.

You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.

This wasn’t the first time Dan had a dream like this, the feeling of being trapped, cornered, and cowering in fear of the faceless boy. It was reoccuring, to the point where he’d talked about his therapist about it. She said it was just his way of coping with the shit he went through growing up, the intense homophobia that just fueled his depression.

Dan sat on the couch for a long time before he finally felt any motivation to do anything. He tried to regulate his breathing and get his nerves under control, once the initial shock had passed it was all about calming down so he didn’t ruin the whole days productivity.

After he had managed to chill out a little, he felt around the couch, hoping to find his phone. He didn’t really know where it had ended up as he spent most of the time before falling asleep avoiding his responsibility of picking out the pictures he would post of him and Phil. He’d tried, at first, but soon found it made his heart ache just a little too much so he put it off for a later time, a terrible habit that he would have to break one time.

When he finally found his cellular device the first thing he noticed when he went to unlock it was that it was 4 in the fucking morning, Dan was used to going to sleep around this time, not waking up (unless of course there was some sort of weird schedule for being on set for filming, in which case he dragged his butt out of bed at the asscrack of dawn, downing about 5 cups of coffee, and then trying his best. Those days were the ones that required the most takes to get the right scene.) The second thing Dan noticed about his phone was the fact that it was almost completely dead as he hadn’t been charging it all night.

With a big fat groan Dan got up from the couch, walked into his bedroom and plugged his phone in, giving it the sweet juice it so desired. After that business was out of the way, he shuffled through his dresser and found some pajamas, or rather some sweats. Whether he would fall asleep again was still up in the air, but Dan was still wearing the skinny jeans he’d been wearing yesterday and it was just too uncomfortable to deal with anymore. How did he even fall asleep with such suffocating pants on?

Falling asleep so soon after a dream such as the one he had would almost certainly result in having the same terrible experience again. It was still too fresh in his mind, he’d have to find a way to get the memory of it out his brain completely if he wanted to have a peaceful rest. That being said, if he just got up for the day now, at 4am, he could nap anytime during the day as he had literally nothing to do.

The bad thing about acting is that you worked a shitton for a few months or less and then you’d made your years salary and you could just fuck around for the rest of the time, but for Dan, that just resulted in a lot of lounging and playing video games and general unproductivity. Working was a constant, it required him to get up and have a schedule and he actually enjoyed what he was doing most of the time, even if the hours were shitty. When he had all the time in the world to lay around, Dan would do exactly that, not being able to coax his mind into doing something productive.

In the end Dan just decided to stay awake, he put on a pot of coffee and skimmed through twitter. The buzz around him and Phil was getting more serious, but some fans were adamant that Dan was secretly seeing his co-star Adam Devore, despite the fact that they hadn’t seen each other once since filming wrapped for ‘Switch Hitter’ and probably wouldn’t see each other until press for the movie officially started.

It was the way the trailers painted them that made people so sure they were together, people forgot it was for the movie and that they’d both been acting. Still, he couldn’t blame them, and soon enough the whole thing would blow over once him and Phil had officially made their debut.

There was definitely a lot of speculation over the nature of Dan and Phil’s relationship since the first photo had come out of Phil and the boy who looked startlingly like Dan kissing. Some people assumed it was Dan, some defended that it couldn’t be, and some just didn’t give a shit. It would certainly hit the news that Phil had stopped by his place by the time the sun rose completely and shortly after that the photos of them together would be on Dan’s instagram, making it ‘official’ so to speak.

Once Dan started thinking about the photos and the events of the night prior, he couldn’t stop. He was also reminded that he needed to call his mum, better to get it over now than wait for her to see the tabloids. She was constantly checking entertainment news sources for Dans name in the headlines, claiming he didn’t keep her up to date enough so she’d figure out what was going on in his life herself.

His mum was 8 hours ahead of him, meaning that if Dan did his calculations right it was just about noon back in Wokingham. The perfect time to receive a call from your son informing you that he was seeing a boy.

Truth be told Dan wasn’t really sure how his mum would react to the news. She was constantly hounding him about finding someone who was good to him, but that was just because he worried about him being all alone in such a lonely position. Sure, he had the people who admired his work, and a handful of diehard fans, but at the end of the day he was going to bed alone and spending the majority of his days by himself. True, in this relationship he would still be going to bed alone, but at least his mums mind would be put to ease.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about lying to her about such a big thing, but in the end Dan decided it was better for her health if she wasn’t so worried about her son, so really this was doing her a favor, right?

After his phone had a little while to charge, Dan unplugged it and proceeded to go to his contacts, found his mum, and tried not to put too much thought into it as he clicked the little call button.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Hello?” his mum greeted.

“Hi mum.”

“Oh blimey, Daniel isn’t it near 4 in the morning, what’re you doing up?” She was a lot quicker at her time zone math than Dan was.

“I woke up early and I needed to give you a ring anyways.”

This sparked her attention immensely.

“You needed to ring me? What about? Are you alright?”

“Yes mum, I’m fine, I just wanted to talk to you about something before the entertainment news got ahold of the story.”

“Oh, alright, well then, spill the tea, bear.”

There was so much for Dan to unpack in that one sentence from his mum. First of all did she just say ‘spill the tea’? She truly had been spending too much time reading gossip, it was getting scary. Second of all she called him ‘bear’, something that he’d actually quite missed. His childhood nickname held a soft spot in his heart, he felt waves of nostalgia and comfort from such a simple thing.

“Okay, wow, okay. Uh. I’ve started seeing someone.”

His mum gasped, actually audibly gasped.

“Dan! That’s fantastic! Is it that boy from the movie you just shot?”

Great, even his mum had heard the rumors about him and Adam fucking Devore. You film one movie with someone and suddenly your mum and everyone else on twitter thinks you’re dating, good god.

“No, oh my god mum. It’s not Adam.”

“Well then who is it?”

“Uhhhh, you remember how over Christmas we watched that romance movie, I think it was called ocean eyes? Anyways I’m seeing the guy who played the fiance in that film. Phil Lester.”

“Oh, he was lovely! I told you to find someone who treated you like he treated his girlfriend and now look! I practically got you two together.”

Dan had forgotten about the offhand comment his mum had made during their viewing but now that he thought about it, she did mention finding Phil ‘charming’. That was around the time Dan’s little crush on Phil had started. His mum was a psychic? Who could’ve seen this coming?

“Good job mum, you’re an everyday cupid.”

“Of course. Well, I’ve got to go, your aunt was supposed to meet me for lunch and she just texted, so I better get a move on.”

“Okay, have a nice lunch, tell her I say hi.”

“I will, and hey Dan, if things get serious, do you promise that you’ll bring this boy home for me to meet?”

Dan’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe this was going too far. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned anything to his mum. Maybe this was all a mistake. Everything was getting too real.

“Yeah, I promise.”

They said their goodbyes and his mum hung up to go have lunch with his aunt, leaving Dan to himself at what was now 4:30 in the morning.

The obvious thing to do would be pick out the photos he was going to post on his instagram later that day now to get it out of the way, but Dan decided to instead watch anime for 2 hours as he sipped his coffee and found some cereal to eat. Only then could he flip through the pictures he and Phil had taken the day previous.

They looked cute together, that was undeniable. It looked genuine too, not just on Dans part, they looked happy, in love, together. Most of all they looked extremely convincing.

Dan picked out one photo from each pose, one with them smiling, one with Phil kissing his cheek, and one with Phil nuzzling into Dan’s neck.

He made sure they both looked nice in each of the photos before finding a black and white filter (he had an instagram theme to uphold) and making final decisions.

Out of all the pictures they took, one was by far Dan’s favorite, but it wasn’t post worthy. He’d managed to snap a picture the moment Dan realized Phil’s lips were pressed against his cheek, the look on his face was absolutely priceless.

After thinking about it for awhile, Dan decided that maybe he should send the pictures to Phil, get his approval before posting and all that.

Don’t overthink it, just send him the photos and move on with your day. Don’t hyperfocus on this one message to the point of not being able to do anything else with your time. Just don’t do it.

Trying not to think too much about it, Dan went to his contacts, started a message with Phil (or the number Phil had put in his phone, he really hoped it was his personal number and not like his publicist or something.) and send the 3 photos he’d picked out along with a short and sweet “caption?” as Dan hadn’t yet decided what he would caption the post and was hoping Phil had some sort of idea.

He put his phone down after that, knowing that if he stayed on it he’d end up refreshing his texts every few seconds and that just wasn’t healthy. Instead he spent his time doing literally anything but that, he went through his closet, organized his movie collection, showered, and vacuumed.

By the time his anxious productive energy had worn off it was nearing noon for him. He finally decided to grab his phone again.

3 new messages.

One was from his mum, telling him that lunch with his aunt had gone well, the next was from Shannon the momager, asking if she needed to arrange a car for Dan for any reason today, and then the third. The third message on his phone was from one Phil Lester.

He was too nervous to open it. After a whole day of ignoring his phone for this exact reason, he couldn’t bring himself to look at the text he’d gotten.

Eventually (too long for Dan to admit) he decided to just do it, to open the notification and see the doom that was waiting for him.

From: Phil

caption it “the cats out of the bag” or something

we look cute ;)

The sexual tension was too much for Dan as he stared at the winky face. That was flirting right? That was definitely flirting. There was no such thing as a platonic winky face, then again maybe Dan was reading too much into things, that was something he tended to do.

Just calm down you chicken nugget.

With Phil’s blessing Dan focused his crazed energy on formulating his instagram post. But then he thought ‘maybe I should give Phil a heads up before posting this’ and then he wondered if he was supposed to tell Shannon or Sam that he was going to post this. How much was he really supposed to do and where did Phil’s publicist step in?

Against his better judgement Dan formulated a text to Phil asking him if it was okay if he posted the photos, and then he wrote out a similar one to Shannon.

An hour later he had an answer from both of them.

From: Shannon the momager

all this stuff is up to you bby, this isn’t like acting, you don’t get a script.

And

From: Phil

yeah! I’m okay with that, thanks again <3

A heart? A HEART? Dan was literally going to have a heart attack, why did Phil have to be so damn flirty? It was too much for him to handle.

With the final confirmation from both sides of the story, Dan made the final instagram post, captioned it with ‘guess the cats out of the bag now’ and clicked share, before all his anxiety could manifest into a person and physically beat him up.

Emotionally drained from all the intense feelings and physically drained from waking up at 4am, Dan plugged in his phone and crawled into his nice comfy bed, ready for a nap.

As he drifted off his thoughts were warm and positive, any trace of the horrid dream he’d woken up from earlier vanished.

He was nervous, scared, but most of all, he was happy.

#our lives dont collide #dan and phil #phanfiction #phan #please like/ reblog if you enjoyed!#dnp

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from-the-clouds · 3 years ago

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Hi, I was wondering, if you had any advice on posting? I Have this blurb-like thing for Kendall I really would like to post, but I'm not sure what I'm doing? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

omg of course! i don't know if you are asking about like...logistics-wise or what so i will go over everything!

this got really long so i'll put all my advice and everything below the cut haha

before i post i always try to proofread my fic 1-2x. i still always miss stuff because it can be easy to not find them when reading your own writing. so you can always have someone ELSE proofread. i find mistakes in my own writing and in other people's all the time, but in general it's not a huge deal as long as it doesn't distract from the content/plot

within my writing i also find it important to avoid giant paragraphs/blocks of text as that can be intimidating to the reader. leave spaces in between new paragraphs, and never have two different people speaking within the same paragraph. that's just like, general grammar/writing rules but i've still seen a lot of fics do that as a fanfic reader it definitely turns me off and even can make a fic difficult to read.

whenever i post fics i generally like to find a gif/photo/make a graphic of the character i am writing about about to put at the top of the post. it helps grab the eye. then you can put like a summary-whatever the fic is about, content warning - any potentially triggering topics in the fic (i'll usually tag any mental health issues discussed or drug/alcohol use/abuse), and an authors note (optional, unless you have any comments you'd like to make) and the rest of the fic.

depending on the content of the fic/length i'll usually do a 'keep reading' button so people who follow me aren't forced to scroll through a long post if they aren't interested in the fic, or if there's any potentially triggering content.

the most important thing will be what you tag it with at the bottom. there are probably better people to ask on here about how tumblr's tagging system works, but in general this will be the best way to have other people outside of your followers see your stuff. so tag the character, the type of story it is, anything you think is relevant. if you want to look at thinking of a place pt 1 for an example of what to tag, scroll to the bottom and you can see what all i did. that would be a good place to start with a kendall fic, and then you can add on from there based on the content. i had almost no one following me in the succession fandom before i posted that fic, and so the tags helped it get more eyes on it.

the time of day you post also has an effect too. I am in PST, and usually try to post my fics in the early evening, as it seems like that's when people are generally most active on here. or you can post in the morning and reblog it with tags again at night to 'signal boost'. down at the bottom of the post editor, if you click the little arrow, there's a drop down menu that let's you schedule when something posts.

some people have separate blogs from their personal ones that are just for writing. i have never done that. but it's something you can consider if you think it's a good idea. i'd also post it to Archive of Our Own (AO3). whether or not you have an account, it's free to join after a brief waiting period, but definitely worth it. There are people on there who don't get on tumblr, but there's also a lot of crossover, so just another way to get more exposure. I know some people also use Wattpad/Fanfiction and I have too, but i don't love their format too much.

and last but not least have fun! It can be somewhat scary/vulnerable to post something you've put a lot of yourself into on here at first, but i've found everyone to be generally supportive and kind. when i first started writing i was SO BAD, i literally look at my old fics and cringe, but the more i keep writing the better i feel about what i put out, and i can tell i've improved over the years. in general, i don't write fic because i'm trying to get the most amount of followers or attention. don't get me wrong, i love when people engage with my writing and leave me comments, etc, but it's not the ONLY reason i write fic. i do it because it's a way to explore different characters and a fun creative outlet. when you write/post with that mindset i think it takes a lot of the pressure off.

also, feel free to tag me/send me the blurb once it's posted and I can reblog it! there's very few people on here writing for succession, so i always try to support the ones who do as much as possible!

i'd also say don't be afraid to talk to people on here and engage with people who read the same stuff/write the same stuff/are apart of the fandom. being apart of the community can help get your stuff read/get feedback!

i know this was SUPER long-winded, but i hope this helps? let me know if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me a DM if you do :)

#asks #writing advice

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killjoy-loveit · 6 years ago

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Solar World- Part Two

A/N: I would like to clarify that everything written in this story is complete fiction and isn’t to be taken as a true portrayal of reality. Also, this is a story I had started writing but completely forgot about and thought I could convert it to fanfic so that I might actually finish it, lol :) This series has an unknown finish date, as I’m still trying to set up the layout of the series. I’m going to try doing something different, I’ll be including links to the other parts in the notes by a reblog (to access the links I think you might need to click on the reblog itself)

Summary: Sunni and her team have learned Valis Havens did not hold the last of humanity as they thought.

Word Count: 2,170

Genre: Post-Apocalyptic AU

Introduction | Part One | Part Two

Sunlight twists through the branches of trees towering above- at maybe a hundred feet, if I had to guess. The plant life in the area surrounding the hatch seems healthy upon a brief glance, the vibrant foliage leading me to this assumption. It’s so much more beautiful than I imagined, or than anything we have in Valis Haven to give us an idea of what the surface looked like. Nothing could properly give it justice in a mere reproduction, not when it looks like this. I’m even a little short of breath just taking everything in, not because the air is bad but rather my excitement is making it difficult for me to take a deep breath.

It appears as if the hatch opened up in the middle of a forest, one that wasn’t present three hundred and fifty years ago. As my team climb out of the clean room through the hatch one by one, I have a tough time trying to focus on the questions they’re asking. But it’s apparent I’m not the only one enamored with the environment around us. A breeze rustles the leaves resulting in everyone jumping slightly. Reminding us that while this is an exciting experience, we must be cautious and not let our guard down.

“Sunni, it’s… It’s beautiful.” Jae murmured beside me.

His words break me free from the trance I’d been in, and I nod in response. “Yes, it most definitely is beautiful... We can’t just stand around here though, we need to look for a place to set up camp.”

“Sure thing, Sunni. Just lead the way.” Gil replies giddily, his feet bouncing with energy.

I step off the platform that leads to the hatch after sliding it closed. Twigs snap under my feet as I move forward, determining which direction we should go. Based off the fact that a forest wasn’t present before, I’m going to assume that the maps I studied are inaccurate and useless now. Our camp should be near a water source, and if we can find animal tracks they could lead us to the closest body of water.

“Look for animal tracks, shout if you find anything.” I say calmly, wandering farther from the group.

At this we split up, some going in pairs or solo, like myself. I walked to the left of the hatch, going past a few trees to look for tracks. As I searched the ground something in the dirt seemed odd, I crouched to get a better look at it. It was a track, that much I was aware of, but it was unlike any animal I’ve studied. Instead, as I moved leaves to the side to analyze it, the track appeared human. But that can’t be, nobody could have survived those disasters. Could they? I mean, is it possible that somehow people managed to survive and their descendants have been roaming the surface while we’ve been stuck underground?

Shooting to my feet from my crouched position, I move to yell out for the team but a movement in the corner of my eye makes me freeze. It was fleeting, almost imperceptible, but it was enough to bring me pause. Breath frozen in my lungs, I turn my head to where I saw the movement. I scan the trees carefully, and to my disappointment or relief I’m not sure, nothing’s there. Shaking my head to rid myself of intrusive thoughts screaming that I’m not alone, rather, we’re not alone.

These thoughts are proved correct though as a body presses into me from behind, an arm wrapping around my waist to restrain me and a hand moving to cover my mouth. Even knowing it won’t be of much use I try to scream, and as expected the sound is muffled by my assailant’s hand. Twisting and yanking my body in a futile attempt to free myself only results in being held tighter, the arm constricting painfully around my waist. Hot tears start to build in my eyes, threatening to burn their way down my cheeks. I’ve only just made it to the surface and now I’m probably going to be killed by someone we had no clue existed.

Words were spoken into my ear by a low voice in a language I didn’t recognize and the hand was removed from my mouth. A minute passed in silence as the person waited, I assumed it was a male at this point based off the voice. Maybe he was waiting for me to respond. I chew at my lip trying to determine if it’d matter if I told him that I didn’t understand him if he couldn’t understand me either. Screw it, it’s worth a shot.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” I whisper softly.

A huff of breath hits my neck, sending chills down my spine. “Do you understand me now?” My eyes go wide at his words and I nod frantically. “Good. Where did you come from? Why are you here? What are your plans?”

“U-Um, well, I’m from Valis Havens. I’ve been sent up here with a small team to solve a problem. The plan is to find the problem and a solution.”

“What is Valis Havens?”

“It’s an underground facility that houses what we thought was the last of humanity.”

“You said you have a team? All of you are unknown threats on our land, I have to take you to the Superior.”

“Superior? Will-will we be killed?” I stutter out, heart pounding.

“Only if you’re deemed a threat.”

Surely that shouldn’t have comforted me, but for some peculiar reason it did. While, yes, there were those on my team that could pose significant threat for the people that lived here, none of them would do anything unless I gave the go ahead. I wasn’t about to give permission to go to war with people we had no clue existed until now.

“Call your people here.” He demanded.

“Are you sure?” I question. “If I call them here with you holding me hostage, they won’t listen first, they’ll attack. I promise I won’t try to escape, it’s no use when I know nothing about the terrain.”

“Fine.”

With that single word the arms holding me in place released me. Before calling out to my team, I figured I deserved to see the face of the man that had been holding me as leverage. What I saw was not what I was expecting. Although, I’m not really sure what I was expecting, just that this was not it. The man standing before me is handsome, with a sharp jawline, high cheekbones, and rounded lips. His tanned skin shone in the sunlight, and his dark almond shaped eyes held a dimmed fire within them.

“Call them, now.” He ordered, eyes narrowing.

I pause a second longer to regain my composure. “Guys! I need you to come over here.”

In the following minute countless shouts ring out into the air, confirming they’re moving my way, joined by sounds of leaves crunching underfoot. Gil and Nia appear first, followed shortly by Bo and Bren, next comes Jae and Vera, then finally Ves shows up. As each group finds me, they pause in place upon seeing the man standing beside me. Bo’s mouth keeps opening and closing, giving him the appearance of a dumbfounded fish. Ves is the only one to speak up amidst the dead silence surrounding my team.

“There were survivors. Interesting.” She murmurs, a calculating look taking form on her face.

“Yes, and apparently we’re on their territory.” I sigh lightly, glancing at the man beside me. “Now we have to go with him to meet his Superior.”

“Sunni…” Vera draws my name out, her tone showing that she’s uncomfortable with the situation.

I grit my teeth. “We don’t have another option, either we go with him or we start a war. I would prefer not to go to war.”

With these words, any protests that my team had been forming died on their lips. It was evident in their eyes, how they widened in realization and fear, that initiating a war was to be avoided at all costs. None of us had ever lived through anything similar to that, the only wars we knew of were in history books. Each war in those books was devastating, with body counts higher than our population, it was difficult to imagine being okay with such loss.

“We must move out now, so that we aren’t out when the sun sets.” The man beside me spoke up.

A quick head count and we were on our way, following the mysterious guy through the forest. He never really spoke, except for telling us to avoid certain plants. One plant in question being a deep purple, almost black color, with large heart shaped leaves harboring small spikes that contained a deadly poison. If I’m being honest, I truly wanted to take a sample of one and examine it, potentially run a few tests. Maybe if I could figure out it’s genetic makeup, an antidote could be made for the poison, if one already hasn’t been developed that is.

Though it wasn’t just the plant life I was curious of. I mean, how could anybody possibly survive the massive solar flares and tsunamis that happened three hundred and fifty years ago? There’s the potential that maybe if they had a bunker people could survive for a few years before facing the surface again. Except I don’t understand how the radiation wouldn’t have killed them upon surfacing, it certainly should have been deadly at that point. Everything I’ve been taught goes to say that nobody should have been able to survive. Thus, it’s mystifying to find out that people somehow managed to make it through the calamity.

Surely the Earth would have been a mixture of scorched grounds and raised sea levels, which makes it even harder for my brain to comprehend. Quite honestly I would love to learn of their history, what they’ve been taught and how they’ve progressed. Has their society regressed in terms of development? Or has it gone beyond any expectations we may have down in Valis Havens? While I have one member of the society leading us, he is remaining quiet and elusive regarding sharing any information. I do know one thing, they must speak multiple languages, seeing as how he didn’t speak English to me at first. Scratch that, make it two things, because I am certain that the language he spoke first is new or a derivative at the least.

Granted, I am not well versed in linguistics, I only ever managed to learn two other languages fluently. Though I do know basics of a few others, most of which were spread out regionally. Ves and Nia are the best with languages in the team, both speaking upwards of five different languages, not including English. One of them could potentially identify the origins of the language he spoke, if it was a derivative that is. It wouldn’t be surprising if Ves was the one who could identify it, seeing as she is a bit of a wild card.

See, there’s no telling what Ves knows. She’s the type that values secrecy and never shows the world anything but a face of stone. If I’m honest, Ves scares me just a little bit. Not because I feel that she would ever go against the team or harm us, but mainly for the sole fact that you can never guess where her thoughts are. And since she rarely talks, everyone goes quiet when she does.

Everyone else on the team is a bit easier, well, a lot easier, to read in comparison to Ves. Gil’s emotions are always plain as day on his face, he’s probably most like Ves’ polar opposite in that regard. Most of the others tend to have control over their expressions and body language, though there are times when they have an extreme reaction to something and that control slips.

Sometimes I get so lost in thought that I lose track of my surroundings, this was one of those times. I slammed right into the back of the guy- I really should learn his name- that was leading us as a result. Yeah, I’m quite aware that I should’ve been paying attention so that incidents, such as this, wouldn’t occur. Well, it’s too late to remedy the situation. He turns slowly to face me, a blank look on his face. All I manage to do is smile sheepishly and whisper a quick apology.

He shakes head lightly, a small smile appearing briefly. “We have arrived. Stay quiet and try not to attract too much attention. There’s no telling how the others will react, so it’s important to get you to the Superior as quickly as possible.”

I stop him as he turns back to lead us further. “Wait, what’s your name?”

“Minho.” And with that he turned on his heel and continued forth.

At least now I know his name.

#shinee fanfic #shinee scenarios #shinee minho #shinee minho fanfic #shinee minho scenarios #choi minho fanfic #choi minho scenarios

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clothestop · 7 years ago

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amarilloo: rgfellows: rgfellows: kanyewestboro: calanoida: Su...

Susanna and the Elders, Restored (Left)

Susanna and the Elders, Restored with X-ray (Right)

Kathleen Gilje, 1998

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the-mulligan-wizard · 8 years ago

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Samurai Jack Meets the Scotsman Scene Analysis

youtube

(From S1E11 of Samurai Jack) It’s gonna be a long one.

Hello! Welcome to my second scene analysis. Always like and reblog if you enjoy these :3 The scene I’m analyzing is shown through these two videos. I’ll mention when to switch videos!

(VIDEO ONE)

0:00 There’s a lot of walking before this scene to get a feeling and set the tone. I chose not to include them because honestly the wide-shots and establishing shots Samurai Jack uses deserves an analysis of their own. Maybe another day. A few seconds in Jack hears the distant bagpipes of the Scotsman. He tilts his head up so that he can see, which means before his hat covered his vision of far ahead of him. Either Jack was looking down at the pit below, or he was so confident he could sense a threat approaching that he didn’t need to see it coming. I’d bet the second one, considering that Jack has been walking on this bridge for a long time. Jack stops moving, telling us he doesn’t want to walk into danger if he can avoid it, but doesn’t want to turn around. It’s a tad indecisive on his part, but not much. One more thing to note hear, Jack hears the bagpipes well before the Scotsman is even visible. These boys are LOUD.

-Let’s consider what this all says about the Scotsman. He has been walking on this massive bridge for probably hours or days, and he has been blaring these things. This tells us he is proud of his heritage and likely plays them a ton. BUT it also tells us that even though he’s wanted by Aku (which we learn later) he isn’t afraid to draw attention to himself.

0:30 As the Scotsman approaches, Jacks face of pain turns into one of regret. As much as Jack hates the sound, he doesn’t recognize the Scotsman as a threat anymore, and wants to avoid hurting his feelings (as Jack always does) He may have also adapted this modest face because the loud sound came from another human, something he doesn’t want to hurt.

0:44 We get a very nice pan of the Scotsman. This is mainly meant to show us the Scotsman’s machine-gun leg. Immediately telling us he has suffered wounds (likely from combat) and still fights regardless. Starting from the bottom of the Scotsman to the top, the viewpoint we view the Scotsman from is as if we are kind of below him, a common angle used to show something in power, and the Scotsman definitely is a worthy opponent, so this matters.

0:50 Jack’s hat is tilted down, to avoid showing his face of discomfort, but also telling us he isn’t scared of the Scotsman as he cannot see the Scotsman now.

0:54 Similar to how a below-the-object shot shows power, this over-the-object wide-shot shows weakness. Jack, in a way, is helpless to the Scotsman. This shot also shows us the massive area around them (the emptiness) and that they are finally going to meet. Afterwards, the 3-bar-cut-thing is a nice way to keep tensions high for the viewer.

1:01 The Scotsman stops. He was aware of Jack’s location without taking a moment to open his eyes. Strange, that he never tones down the bagpipes as he approaches Jack. Not really, as we know, the Scotsman is very loud and very proud of himself.

1:09 The Scotsman looks down at Jack. Looking down at him? That’s sort of like how we view characters who are helpless! That’s for a reason too. :p The Scotsman notices Jack’s discomfort, and finishes his tune.

1:17 NOTE. FIRST WORDS ARE SPOKEN WAAAY UP HERE. SAMURAI JACK IS GREAT AT SHOWING AND NOT TELLING. The Scotsman starts off with a sarcastic remark about how uncomfortable Jack looks, then starts a new song while looking at Jack with an angry face. Although, maybe he has a resting bitch face?

1:31 Note the posture here. The Scotsman is tall, and has a lot stuff on him. His eyes are open and he is alert. Jack is hunched over with few items and clearly in pain. This is a nice analysis of the characters through their design. Where the Scotsman is arrogant and loud, Jack is modest and considerate. Jack raises his hand, as his way of requesting the Scotsman to stop. Jack, regardless of the Scotsman’s arrogance, politely asks how close he is to the end of the bridge. The Scotsman mentions he has been walking on the bridge for days. Has he been playing the pipes this whole time? Given his personality, I’d say yes! Jack says he seems to still have a long way to go. Of course, mentioning leaving is Jack’s way of saying “Okay, time for me to go”

1:56 Jack approaches the Scotsman, as the Scotsman remarks that he doesn’t want to risk falling off the side for a stranger. This is reasonable of him (although kind of rude in the way he does it) because there are goons out here looking to kill the Scotsman for Aku. Again, the Scotsman is proud of himself and has a high level of self worth. As the Scotsman suggests Jack walking back to the other end, Jack begins to lose patience with the Scotsman. Not only does Jack not have that much time to waste, but he would hate a walk with the Scotsman. He needs to find a way paste him

(VIDEO 2. VIDEO 2)

0:00 The Scotsman reads Jack’s remark about time as saying Jack is better than him. This is just like somebody with the level of self-worth. He reads people who disagree with him as people who think they are better than him.

0:21 Even after all this, and being called rude, Jack still prioritizes being polite and reasonable.

0:30 Jack suggests putting his own life in danger so that the Scotsman may cross. This tells us that Jack recognizes the Scotsman’s arrogance as something OTHER than a threat. Which is true! Jack probably noted the sword and gun and figured if the Scotsman actually wanted to fight, he would have already started. The Scotsman, like usual, misunderstands Jack’s modesty as deception. “So you get a peek up me kilt?” To be honest, he has a machine gun leg, so whatever is going on up there would be pretty interesting tbh.

0:38 Jack saying “What did you call me?” Is either aggression or actual confusion. I don’t know what the Scotsman said, but he continues with some insults before suggesting they fight. The Scotsman probably reads Jack’s modesty as weakness, and also thinks if they have a contest it should be something he is confident in, combat.

0:59 Again. Note the stances. The Scotsman leads forward in confidence, while Jack stands still, holding his ground and no more.

Everything till 2:13 is the Scotsman insulting Jack. Jack’s lack of response fuels the Scotsman into thinking he is going to win the fight. I could talk more about all of the Scotsman’s insults, but there’s already a post on here that does that better than I probably could, lol.

2:14 Now things get interesting as we go back to analyzing actions and not words. Note that Jack’s shaky hand during the insult sequence is NOT him wanting to strike the Scotsman, but him being read to block if and ONLY if the Scotsman attacks. When the Scotsman does, Jack blocks his attack and with a still face, the Scotsman’s sword goes as low as to cut Jack’s hat.

2:47 It’s a bit unusual that the Scotsman doesn’t block this attack, but Jack stabs the Scotsman’s bagpipes. We know Jack doesn’t want to kill or hurt anybody, but he needs something to knock the Scotsman off his soapbox. If Jack didn’t mind hurting people, the Scotsman would get stabbed in the abdomen, so this should say a lot about Jack.

(VIDEO 3. VIDEO 3. VIDEO 3.)

0:00 Naturally, the Scotsman strikes first. Note the battle-cry. Just like with the bagpipes, the Scotsman always makes his presence known and doesn’t seem to like being sneaky. To be fair, Jack usually has a battle-cry too.

Note: I’m not gonna talk much about the action unless it says something.

0:26 When Jack begins attacking we turn to see the Scotsman is happily blocking his attacks with his sword in, essentially, one spot. Jack is literally just attacking the Scotsman’s sword. Again. He doesn’t want to hurt the Scotsman. He is either just trying to scare the Scotsman, or maybe setting up the “Tremendous Horse-Cut Technique” if it needs any set-up like this.

1:09 the “Tremendous Horse-Cut Technique” A move Jack uses with the intent to disarm the Scotsman. Again, he does NOT want to hurt him, so destroying his sword is a great way to attempt this.

1:29 A pan away from the action draws our attention to the only visible object, the sun. It changes from day to night to day to tell us a day has passed, all the time they’ve fought (as we hear from sword clashing that we’ve become familiar with through the combat)

1:47 A lot of people have regarded the Scotsman as an equal to Jack. I don’t think this is true. Nobody has won, I believe, because Jack doesn’t want to hurt him.

1:56 The Scotsman attempts to cover up his inability to fight as him being kind to Jack and giving him a second chance. Another way the Scotsman would say “I can’t win, but I refuse to lose”. Jack responds with a neutral and modest statement about how Jack doesn’t want to lose either. He doesn’t threaten the Scotsman because Jack not being “defeated” probably more means he hasn’t actually attacked the Scotsman.

2:19 Jack turns the Scotsman’s insult back around at him, finally knocking him off his soapbox, leaving him speechless.

2:40 Those are odd vehicles! Perhaps this bridge exists to capture those who are wanted. Why else would somebody drive that other than to close in on a bridge? Also, we don’t need much more than a “Yeee-haw!” to tell us this isn’t the first time this guy has had to do this to wanted people.

2:52 Nothing like comparing two characters by having them say the same thing, eh?

3:16 Even in a tense and time-sensitive situation, the Scotsman finds time to insult Jack.

3:18 Look at that wide-shot. It’s a lot like the earlier one but it’s level with the viewer, unlike the previous one. Both shots exist to demonstrate the distance between characters on the bridge. I believe this flat angle was used because the distance shown is larger, and Jack and the Scotsman still need to be visible.

3:34 Jack interrupts the Scotsman’s ramblings by cutting the bridge himself. If Jack let the Scotsman finish, maybe we’d never see S2-5

3:38 What did they think was gonna happen? Maybe they don’t do this often...

3:48 Nothing like the classic they-landed-in-water-so-lets-pretend-they-wouldnt-die bit, eh?

3:54 The Scotsman blames Jack for getting them in a swamp. If only we listened to the Scotsman! Too bad he didn’t suggest anything. This is the Scotsman saying “Sure, I didn’t suggest anything, but your suggestion sucked!”

4:00 Jack, again, offers something neutral and constructive.

Of course, it ends with a classic joke. Remember, we only get a smiling Jack once in a blue moon. Also, if you pause right at 4:20 you can see Jack is still smiling with his eyes closed.

Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to like or reblog if you enjoyed! If you didn’t send me an ask or comment about why you didn’t. If there are any typos, message me and i’ll get on fixing them. :33

#samurai jack #samurai #jack #the scotsman #scotsman #sj #s1 #season #1 #scene #analysis #scene analysis #s1e11 #young pup #cartoon #cartoon network #long post #lotsa words

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