#I already saw a burrito place called Little Ass Burrito (with a donkey on the front door of course but I still find it clever and funny XD)

[drama-glob]

I serious want a company to consider labeling their original/unflavored/plain products like this. ;) XD They'd probably see higher sales if they did. ;)

[reddie-fangirl24]

"I'm a blanket buritto" With Reddie that would be so adorable 💛💛

NOTE: This is based on a famous scene from The Money Pit. I hope you enjoy!

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“So you’ll pick me up at the train station tonight after my shows finishes?” Richie asked once he arrived at the theater. Traveling gigs were picking up more. At least he could take his mind off the new house that was crumbling right under their feet for a couple of hours. 

Trying to open the door which had already fallen off its hinges, Eddie heaved a sigh as he stepped inside. The construction workers really did a number. Heaps of wood and dust covered the floor. Not mention, the floor was scratched up from the workers obviously dragging it along the floor. Did they know how to do anything? “Yeah, Rich, I’ll be there.”

“Is everything okay, Eds?” Richie asked his husband. Ah, he loved saying that. Had they really only been married for just a month?

“Yeah, I’m just tired. Everything with the house is just making me stressed,” Eddie told him, taking a deep breath. One of the windows was shattered, so they had to replace it with a trash bag to shield it. All Eddie wanted to do was take a hot bath and got into some comfortable clothes. He could hardly concentrate at work today, dosing off at one point.

“Hey, if you want I could just call for a taxi or something so you can get some sleep,” Richie told him. A lot had been on his mind with the house, too. He and Eddie hadn’t spent much time together. Sleeping arrangements were awful in the house. With how weak the floorboard were they had no idea if a bed could hold the both of them.

“No, I’ll be there. I need to call the permit guy to get everything straightened out. I wish I could be there to see your show tonight,” Eddie told him. He felt so guilty. Ever since they got together, he went to all of Richie’s shows if the time allowed it.

“Don’t worry, Eddie. You’re always in the front row in my book - picking your nose this is!”

“God, do you always have to be so disgusting?”

“They don’t call me trashmouth for nothing!”

Shaking his head, Richie’s humor cheered Eddie up a bit as he headed towards the ladder to go upstairs. “Okay, I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Richie told him before hanging up the phone.

Now for just one more task so he could scratch it off the list. Afterward, he could relax. His therapist requested relaxation for the evening. Most nights, he snuggled up with Richie on the couch watching whatever they found on Netflix. He was so comfortable. 

“Hello, are you the permit-” Eddie was cut off in seconds by the disgruntled who clearly did not have a lot of patience. “Hi, This is Eddie Tozier... yes I am in the McDermot Mansion, I was wondering if you could schedule an appointment for the permit... you could be here in half an hour? Uh-huh... cash? That’s not a problem. Thanks, bye-” He was cut off. “Asshole.”

Taking out his wallet, Eddie walked a few steps until he found himself sinking into the floor. “Huh? Wha-?” Disappearing with the carpet into the floor, Eddie just stopped at his chest. His arms were barely free, constricted by the hole.

What the hell? Did the construction workers make a hole in the floor and then place a rug over it thinking that nobody would notice? Clearly, yes.

“Fuck! Help! Shit!” Eddie struggled to free himself. He couldn’t move. The rug was stuck. Oh great, this was all he needed. 

What to do? What to do? His phone... was in his pants pocket in which he couldn’t reach. Okay, relax, relax, the permit guy will be here soon so he’ll be able to help. Until then he just had to wait. 

Yeah, like this was the best way to relax. He wasn’t doing anything. Okay, that was a positive, good!

To pass the time Eddie went through his wallet counting his money to make sure that he had enough to pay the permit guy. He even sang a little tune to himself. Oh, there was that picture he was looking for. Oh, and a bill that was coming up towards payment. Card, card, aw the picture he kept of himself and Richie.

 Which reminded him, Richie was never to find out about this embarrassing incident. It was only going to go to one of his sketches.

“Hello? Mr. Tozier! Hello?” A voice called from outside.

Eddie had been stuck in the floor for so long that he was feeling the constraints of the floor against his chest. It hurt. “H-Help, pl-please!” God, he must have been going out of his mind because he startled giggling hysterically over the situation. 

“Are you laughing at me? Nobody laughs at me! Forget about it!” Eddie heard papers ripping in half and then a revving car engine. 

“No, no, please, don’t go! H-Help me!” Oh, he was going to kick his ass the next time he saw him!

Later that evening, a taxi pulled up to the house. Richie’s mouth dropped at the sight of the demolished place. The wood was falling off the house and there were gaping holes everywhere. Not to mention, a gigantic hole dug up in the ground was right in the middle of the entranceway. It didn’t even resemble a house!

“Wow, looks like a missile blew up here!” Ther cab driver exclaimed as Richie got out. He was lucky to get a cab after waiting for Eddie to show up for an hour. Worried that something may have happened, Richie told himself that Eddie must have fallen asleep. He was very tired as he claimed.

“The house will look great once it’s finished,” Richie told her somewhat tersely, getting out of the car. He was so tired from everything with the house that he yawned so many times during his own performance. Hopefully, his fans took it as a joke. 

“You mean when it’s an exhibit?” That was the woman’s attempt at a joke as she cackled in this ugly laugh. She beeped her horn loudly.

The horn awoke Eddie who had fallen asleep in the hole. How long had it been? For hours he had no water, food, nothing!

Once he paid the driver, Richie went inside turning up his nose at the mess. What kind of construction workers did they hire? And he thought him destroying the staircase was bad enough.

“Eddie?” Richie called out, his voice echoing throughout the house. It was best not to wake Eddie, but he had to know if he was okay.

“Rich? Oh, Richie, thank God it’s you, man!” Eddie’s voice was raspy, stuttering his words. He was so out of it that he started laughing again, cackling like a hyena. 

“Eddie?” Richie questioned, concerned. Oh dear, did he trip and fall. “Is that you?”

“Is it me? I’ve been trapped here for so long that I thought My Little Pony and her friends were having a tea party!”

Was he drunk? “Eds?”

“Are you going to keep shouting my name or are you going to come find me?”

“Eddie?” Richie called out again searching left and right, running through the living room. He didn’t even see the wiggling rug above his head, protruding through a hole in the ceiling.

“UPSTAIRS YOU DILLHOLE!” Eddie hollered, unable to stand any more of this.

Richie ran up the ladder. Uh, he never liked going up this un-sturdy ladder. They needed their stairs back, and now! “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m in a pickle!” Eddie called out not sure whether to laugh or cry at how ridiculous this situation was. He heard Richie’s pacing feet in the hallway. Barely able to turn his neck, he saw Richie peak into the room that he was in and then turn back out barely even searching the room for him. What a hero. 

“Where are you?” Richie called out, pacing the halls.

“You’re very hot.”

“What? Eds, stop joking! Where are you?”

“I’m in the den!” Eddie called out, shutting his eyes tightly so as not to lose his mind. Too late.

“No, you’re not! I was just in there!”

“Richie, just come back into the den, I swear I am here!”

Richie sighed, slapping a hand to his face. “Eddie, I was joking around all night. I don’t need...”

“I’M RIGHT HERE, YOU ASSHOLE!” Spit flew out of Eddie’s mouth. He really didn’t want to shout again. He was cooped up so tightly to the point that he couldn’t breathe. 

Finally, Richie retraced his steps back into the den, turning on the light. Eddie was hidden by this big chair but he could see the top of Richie’s head.

Richie placed his hands on his hips. “This game of hide-n-seek is really getting old, Eds.”

“I’m in the floor behind the chair,” Eddie said as patiently as he could.

Richie looked around the chair and found him. Eddie did a little sarcastic little wave. It didn’t take long for Richie to crack a smile. 

“If I see you laugh...”

Richie cracked up, laughing like a donkey. He even pulled out his phone to grab a picture. Yup, this was definitely going in one of his shows. 

“You’re a blanket burrito, Eds!” Richie fell to his knees crawling over to him.

Eddie rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “I’m a blanket burrito,” he repeated his disbelief. “I’m stuck in a carpet!”

Richie went to work trying to figure out how to get him loose. “How long have you been like this?”

“I don’t want to think about anymore, Rich. And you know what, tomorrow I am taking off work, marching down to that permit guy’s office and I’m kicking his ass!”

Right then, the carpet loosened and Eddie went falling down to the floor at least more than ten feet. Well, at least he was finally free.