#I already know I am not going to have a good day tmrw | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maximumkillshot · 10 months ago

Text

You Earned It!

Warnings: Fluff, of the tooth rotting variety

Pairing: None

Characters: Chan, Felix, Kate, Minho, Yeji

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

A/N: idklols asked:

Hey so my best friends bday is tmrw (Jan 17th) and so I don’t have any money so I’ve resorted to this (no offense I’ve read a story from u and it’s rlly amazing) but my bsf is in love with bang Chan (she also likes Felix) so i was wondering if you could make bangchan give her a surprised bday? (Also her name is Kate!! Tysm ig you get around to it!!)

Chan POV:

I have been trying to set this up for weeks and finally it’s happening. I hear my phone ring and I answer, balloons in hand.

“Hey, have you heard from Kate yet?” I heard Felix ask. I could hear the background filled with activity as I loaded the car.

“Nothing aside from a good morning text, Yeji said that they were going on a shopping spree for her birthday, the others in Kate’s group are with them too. All Kate knows is that you, I and the boys are going to have a birthday dinner for her.”

I could hear the smile on his face as he said, “She has no clue this is going to be great,” I laughed with him as he said, “I just called to say the cake and brownies are almost done and Minho is getting started on prepping for dinner. So we are all on track over here.”

I breathed a sigh of relief as I said, “Ok thanks Lix. I still have a few things to do. Then I’ll head over to decorate with Hannie and Hyunjin.” After I hung up I started the car and went on my way to grab some party favors. Kate has known us for a while. She was very young when we met, Barely past 10 years old. She was an aspiring idol. Just after we debuted, Kate came up to me in the practice room one day and introduced herself. I remember thinking how mature she was.

She spoke with authority and confidence. She knew what she wanted. She wanted to learn, mature, adapt, and make it in this industry. I have always loved cultivating and teaching idols to do what they love, so when she asked me to mentor her, I was more than eager to help out. I can’t believe it’s already been 5 years. Now she has her own group that she leads. Their group is honestly astounding. The music is positive and uplifting, the moves are addicting, and much like my group, 98% of it is done by the members.

After I pick up the favors I head to the DanceRacha house. The minute I park I am met with the members opening doors and grabbing items. I make my way in to find the space transformed into party central. The music is on low and Felix is filling a little table to the side with the sweets, including a cake that looked amazing, done by him, of course. Off to the other side of the living room are the beverages, and dead center is the dining table decorated in Kate’s favorite color.

We also had a giant present pile over to the side. I made sure to put mine a little more forward in the pile.

After I helped with the balloons I sent out the text to remind everyone that they had to park a little farther away to keep it a surprise. I had no clue why I was nervous. Maybe it had to do with the present. So many gifts were lavish, Louis Viton and Givenchy being bigger names in the pile. I don’t know if what I got was enough.

Finally, once everyone was in it was time to have Yeji bring Kate back to the dorm. At the five minute mark we all took our positions, hiding well out of the way. The anticipation ramped up, to the point of us giggling every time we heard a car pull up. We get a knock at the door and Minho goes to open it non-chalantly. As soon as Kate walks in everyone pops up yelling “Surprise!!” That part took Kate off guard but she was tearing up and thanking everyone as she walked in. I was so excited for the presents. I really think that she’ll like it.

After a few hours of food, dancing, and chatting, we got to blowing out the candles on the cake. After everyone got a slice she started opening presents. Some of them were amazing, designer purses, wallets, and glasses to match (Obviously Felix’s), all the way to designer belts, dresses, red bottom heels. The more of these I saw the more I wanted to just put my little envelope of a present back into my pocket and hide in the back.

Before I could, she opened it. Minho demanded that she read it out loud. She started.. “Happy Birthday Kate!, I remember when I met you 5 years ago. You were a 10 year old promising talent. I remember you asking me if you had what it took to do what I do. I could see immediately that you had it. You work hard, you strive for perfection, and most of all, you always are willing to learn. I am so proud of you. You are a fantastic leader..” At that point I saw tears forming in her eyes as I smiled.

She kept going, “You have an amazing heart, eye for talent, and not not mention you always are focused. You told me at that time, you wanted to be mentored by me. That you wanted to know if you made it or not from me only…” She looked up at me and I was fighting tears myself.

“That’s why I am happy to tell you that come your legal age, your group will be signed under our label. All you have to do is sign on the dotted line. Congratulations Kate! You made it! Happy Birthday!-Chan” She started sobbing along with her group. She didn’t know but I saw every move she made, and she’s ready, all of them are. That’s why I was rushing today. I went to my manager yesterday and we found the perfect manager for her group. We drew up the contracts today, which left me not a lot of time to finish the decoration hunt.

A few seconds later I was taken out of my reminiscing by Kate thumping into my body, wrapping her arms around me as she said thank you… All I could say was “For what? You earned it!”

It was true, she did earn it. The hours of practice, the drive to succeed. That was all her. Now comes the hard part, I know she’ll be fine though. I’ll always be here for her, I know she’ll be okay. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Like what you see? TELL ME SO

Want in on the tags? SHOOT ME AN ASK AND CONSIDER IT DONE!

#skz #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfic #bangchan #seo changbin #lee felix #lee know #stray kids fic #stray kids #stray kids scenarios #seungmin #changbin #han jisung #stray kids fluff #skz felix #skz bang chan #skz scenarios #skz fluff

57 notes · View notes

foster-the-world · 2 months ago

Text

Ready

Ready for the weekend. I put in some overtime this week so I already felt like yesterday was Friday. Working hard to accumulate 40 hours so I can take the girls on a fun vacation next summer.

Wishing we had off work so we could be at home enjoying our children instead of paying a lot of money for a sitter. He's going to take them to see Wild Robot today. I wanted to see it but we can go again if they like it. All day alone with all three is tough so I'm glad they have something to do. We also left out the girls bike/baby boys scooter.

I'm getting my hair done tmrw. Alone time = wonderful. Sunday the girls and my husband are going to a cool museum. His cousin got them tickets for Bee's bday. I'm thinking I'll take baby boy somewhere fun outside. We are both scheduled to get the Covid/Flu shot on Sunday night. Bee has an annual physical on Tuesday. We called to see if she could get the Covid shot. They said they won't know until the day off. =Annoying.

We are checking in with the doctor about Bee still wearing a diaper at night. The internet and past visits tell me no one worries until 12yos. She just turned 8. We assumed eventually the problem would disappear but it has not. She has had constipation issues in the past. We have recently started having her stop drinking an hour before bedtime, go to the bathroom right before and then my husband has her go again around 11pm. Her diapers are still full. She doesn't seem bothered. I'd totally leave it alone if it wasn't for sleepaway camp. I didn't even think about it when we signed up. We may try the drug to see if it works. I think we would only do it for camp and a test run beforehand. The internet tells me some kids are able to put a diaper on right before bed without anyone noticing. Not sure we want her to do have to feel like she has to hide. But also don't want kids making fun of her. Let's see what the doctor says.

I've been listening to the ADHD Dude podcast. Personally, I think I am more into their philosophy then the idea of "kids do well when they can, don't force kids, plan C everything for as long as needed" philosophies. The two can come off as obnoxious know it all's but when I get past that I think their authoritative/loving parenting style fits more with my personal ideas. Maybe its a Midwestern thing - my parents were def a little tough but extremely loving with us. I believe it has served me well. I def find the balance really difficult - especially with baby boy who has some very real challenges. But for now I'd like to have high expectations for all three of them. They don't believe in PDA at all. They believe the social media PDA people are preying off parents who are seeking any answer. Baby boy doesn't present with those PDA symptoms so luckily I don't have to worry about it. At least not, yet. He will completely ignore our request but he's not very oppositional. They also brush off sensory processing disorder. Or rather it as a stand alone diagnosis. They say its just a part of autism or ADHD. Which I can agree with.

After a rough month with him he's now been doing really well. Although he has been fighting sleep at night. I assume getting back to the normal school schedule is good for him. We've been running the track most nights. He zooms past so many people. I started putting the cones out - so he can jump over them.

14 notes · View notes

yourlocalghoulette · 9 months ago

Text

Chapter 2~ Take On Me

Series Masterlist~ Main Masterlist~Meet the horses~

Warnings- eventual smut so MDNI! pretty much just fluff, reader has trauma, language, slow burn, flirting, relationship building

w/c: 3k

A/N~ part 2 is hereee! im literally so excited to be writing this story. part 3 is already in the works! please reblog, it always helps! Lmk if you want to be on the taglist:))

It was only when you got Joel’s number and scheduled your first work day that it started feeling real. Doing this, being around horses again, the thing that hurt you more than anything.

Well, it wasn’t the horses that hurt you. It was the way you were forced to push your limits with them. The way you were yelled at if you didn’t do something right. The way your stomach sank every time you were forced to use an unneeded pair of spurs on a horse.

Sleep doesn’t come easy Thursday night, the night before the long-awaited first day. You toss and turn in your bed, palms clammy and forehead sweaty. You kick off the matcha-colored bedspread you were wrapped in and sit up in bed, trying to take deep breaths to clear your head. You glance at your phone. 2:00 AM. If you know Sōl well enough, she’s probably at a party. She definitely won’t answer until morning.

So you text the one person who also might not be awake but still understands. Joel.

You click on the chat that only a few formal messages have been exchanged in and wonder if you’re being too impulsive. What is he going to think about you texting him at two in the morning? Your mind clouded with sleepiness and delusion, you text him anyway.

You- sorry for texting so late. having second thoughts about tmrw.

To your surprise, the ‘read’ icon pops up as soon as you send it.

Joel- i understand how you feel. are you wanting to cancel tomorrow? i was looking forward to it.

Did you want to cancel? Your brain is in a frenzy. He’s looking forward to it, you think over and over.

You- idk. i think still want to come tomorrow but I’m gonna take it slow:)

Joel- that makes sense and it’s totally good with me. can’t blame ya for feeling reluctant. you can pace things as slow as you want, ok cowgirl?

The nickname jumped off of your screen at you and butterflies take off inside your stomach.

You- ok cowboy;) thanks. excited to see u and the horses tmr!

Joel- likewise. now get some sleep, cowgirl.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you turn off your phone. The conversation was short but sweet and oddly comforting.

You silently pad over to the kitchen and quickly make a cup of chamomile tea with lots of honey. While you drink it, you shamelessly open the stable’s website and scroll to the picture of Joel and Sarah. You look closely at Joel’s left hand, resting over Sarah’s shoulder.

No ring.

Ok, he wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean much. He could still be dating, you tell yourself. Even with that possibility, you catch yourself smiling softly at the photo, staring into Joel’s dark brown eyes. Soft and comforting, like the tea you’re drinking. You sigh and walk slowly back to bed, rubbing your eyes which at this point are bloodshot from tiredness.

With Joel’s messages imprinted in your head, you quickly fall asleep.

“Un-fucking-believable. I gave you one. Job. ONE job! To win the goddamn gold medal. And what did you do? You knocked over FOUR jumps. You are a dissapointment to this team. To the profession of jumping.”

“Please- I-I’m sorry, the horse was acting weird! Probably because you made me whip him when he doesn’t need it!”

“Don’t use those goddamn tears on me. Maybe I should show you how a whip feels.”

You wake up three hours later in a cold sweat, your face streaked with tears. You breathe heavily, your hands shaking with each breath. You run your hands over your face.

“It’s just a memory,” you whisper over and over to yourself. You try to breathe in through your nose and out your mouth, calming yourself down.

Sometimes you wish you don’t have to wake up in an empty bed, no one by your side to comfort you. It stings when you think about the last time someone was in your bed.

You shake the memories away for right now. Taking one last deep breath to attempt to ground you, you climb out of bed. You skip breakfast, not sure if you would be able to keep any food down with the amount of nerves flitting in your stomach.

You brush your teeth and throw on some mascara quickly, your hands still shaky and making it difficult. You put on a black tank top and faded boot cut jeans, along with a loose red flannel because it can get cold in the early Texas mornings.

It’s 6:00 on the dot when you slide on your steel-toed work boots, tucking them under your jeans. You grab your keys and a granola bar just in case and head out the door.

As you struggle to start your old pickup truck, second thoughts and anxieties start to fill your mind once again. You struggle to push them out of your head, filling it instead with the thought that you get to see Joel again. Nevertheless, your hands shake around the wheel as you drive the short drive to Sarah’s Stables.

When you pull into the driveway, Joel is sitting outside the barn on the concrete bench, shaking his leg with a nervous expression on his face. You step out of your truck and stride over to Joel as he stands up, trying to put on a confident smile even though the last thing you feel is confident.

“Morning,” Joel grins, shaking your hand firmly. His hand lingers on yours a little longer than it should before he pulls away.

“G’morning, cowboy,” you tip an invisible hat, and he returns the gesture. He leads you into the barn, gesturing you to follow with his hand.

“Did’ya get any sleep last night?” He asks with a hint of concern in his voice, making your heart melt.

You shrug. “Kind of. And I’m really sorry for texting you so late- or, early? I didn’t really have anyone else to text.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Joel waves it off. “I liked it, having someone to talk to even for a bit. I’m always up past 2 doing paperwork and ordering feed and all that shit.”

“Good to know,” you grin, trying to hide the flustered expression on your face. You enter the barn, immediately walking up to the small Shetland pony’s stall. “Hey, buddy,” you coo, gently tracing the long stripe down his face. “And to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

Joel chuckles, leaning next to you on the stall door. “That’s Orion. Rescued him along with the percheron, Amadeus, from an animal hoarder.”

“So you’ve had a rough time with humans, huh, bud?” You nod understandingly. “I get it.”

“Very. I get it too,” Joel says softly. “So. Let’s get to work, huh? I’m gonna show you the different feed mixes for each horse. Not sayin’ you’ll have to feed ‘em every time you’re working here. We’ll feed the horses then I’ll introduce you. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds perfect. It feels weird, being at a barn after so long of avoiding horses, y’know?” you sigh softly. “Is it too soon to say I have a good feeling about you and this barn? Like…I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels different.”

Joel nods knowingly, toying absentmindedly with Orion’s forelock. “Not at all. I get it,” he says understandingly. His eyes soften as he watches you interact with Orion, a slight faraway look on your face. “You doin’ okay, cowgirl?”

You nod, straightening up. “Yeah. Sorry. Just…zoned out.”

“No need to apologize,” Joel smiles softly. A tall cinnamon colored Tennessee Walker down the aisle kicks his stall door in impatience. “Let’s do this.”

In less than 20 minutes, the horses are fed and happily nickering into their feed buckets. Joel had written down the feed mixes for each individual horses with care and posted it on the wall so you didn’t have to memorize them right away. You can tell how much Joel Miller cares for his horses.

“We can turn the horses out now.” Joel tosses you two halters, a purple nylon one and a teal rope one. “Think you can handle two horses at once?”

“Totally.” You sling the halters over your shoulder.

“The rope halter is for Whiskey, the Tennessee Walker and the nylon is for Dottie, the Appaloosa mare. Stalls 5 and 6.”

In no time, you worked together to get all six horses out to the pasture. It’s picturesque, a large green field with a tall white fence surrounding the perimeter. It feels like a daydream watching the horses frolic aorund with eachother, enjoying their taste of freedom after being caged in a stall for the night.

You and Joel sit on the lower bar of the fence, arms resting along the top piece with your head on top. Observing the horses’ behaviors carefully, you can see with the way the chestnut Quarter Horse gelding pins his ears and threatens any horse that gets close to his pile of hay that he’s top dog. The dominant horse, the leader. A comfortable silence falls between you and Joel, as you both let out a collective sigh of relief as the stress of morning feeding washes off.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Joel sighs, breaking off the silence.

“Gorgeous,” you agree, glancing over at Joel. His soft brown eyes are full of adoration for his horses.

He gestures towards the chestnut Quarter Horse. “That right there is Magnum. Total powerhouse. Used to be a ‘coon hunting horse.”

You giggle, staring over at Magnum’s solid build and shiny coat. “People still hunt for raccoons?”

Joel shrugs incredulously. “I guess. His owner gave him to me because he wasn’t getting enough attention. He was ridden twice a week and left to rot by himself in a field the rest of the time. He’s obviously dom, as you’ve probably noticed.”

“Mhm,” you nod. “I noticed. I can tell he has a strong personality, too.” You grin, looking over at Joel.

“Sure does,” Joel smiles back proudly. Your shared gaze lasts a little too long before you turn your head away, looking back at the horses and trying to hide the flustered expression on your face.

Joel introduces you to the rest of the horses; Amadeus, the percheron, Dottie, the petite Appaloosa mare, and Arizona, the gorgeous flaxen-colored mustang/Arabian cross.

“Say, have you eaten anything for breakfast yet?” Joel asks, holding out his hand to help you up from your perches on the fence.

You’re sure this man is going to be the death of you. You shake your head sheepishly, gently grabbing his hand as you stand up. His grip is soft and warm, hands calloused from years of hard work. “Not really,” you say as you let go of his hand. “I was too nervous.”

“What, am I that scary to ya’, cowgirl?” He grins cheekily, nudging your shoulder playfully as you both walk back into the barn.

“Pfft,” you roll your eyes as you nudge him back. “No, not scared. Terrified.” You stick your tongue out at him.

“Ha, ha, darlin’. Why don’t we go get some breakfast? Gotta fuel up before cleanin’ the stalls.”

You shrug. “Sure. Where were you thinking?”

“Home Grounds is a good coffee shop, good bakery stuff too,” Joel offers.

“No fucking way,” your eyes widen in surprise. “I work there! How have I never seen you there?”

“You must not be on the clock when I go. I’m sure I’d remember a face like yours,” Joel says softly, then catches himself, clearing his throat. “Sorry, that was-”

“It’s fine,” you wave it off. “Let’s go. We can take your truck. Mine’s a little…messy right now.”

Joel chuckles. “Sure as hell can’t be as bad as mine.”

Soon, you’re driving with Joel to the coffee shop, Take On Me by A-ha playing quietly through the speakers.

“I love this song!” You smile widely, opening the window and resting your arm outside.

“Me too,” Joel turns up the stereo. “You sing at all, cowgirl?”

You shake your head quickly, eyes wide in mock horror. “Not at all. Do you, cowboy?”

“A bit. I play a smidge of guitar, too,” he smirks.

“Oh, really? I’m gonna have to hear some of these Joel Miller guitar skills sometime,” you grin.

Joel shakes his head, a smile growing on his face as he pulls into the coffee shop driveway. “Believe me, I hype up my skills wayyy too much.” He turns off the truck and quickly runs around to your side of the truck to open your door. Butterflies take off in your stomach as he does this.

Hiding your flustered look, you deadpan him, eyes rolling. “Dude,” you grin, climbing out and he shuts the door behind you.

“What?” He opens the coffee shop door for you too. “Momma always taught me to be a gentleman.”

“And my mom always taught me to never trust men,” you grin cheekily.

“I can change that,” he side eyes you.

Trying to ignore his words, you wave at a coworker. “Hey, Jess!” You call to her, walking up to the counter.

“Hey, girlie. Who’s that?” She asks slyly, eyeing Joel. “New boyfriend?”

“Uh, no,” you say quickly before Joel can hear. “I’m working for him. He owns a horse barn.”

“You’re back to horses?” Jess inquires, cocking a brow.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, okay?” You spin around to face Joel. “What are you getting?”

“Just a black coffee and blueberry muffin, but don’t worry, cowgirl. I gotchu.” He starts taking out his wallet but you playfully swat his arm.

“Don’t. Please. I get employee discount anyway.”

Joel sighs in defeat, holding up his hands in mock offense. “Fine. But I’m paying next time.”

Next time, next time, next time….

After you order, the black coffee for him and a cold brew for you, you go to put your card in the reader to notice Joel’s card is already there. “Joel!” You mutter, giving him a disapproving look.

“Hey, I’m tryna be nice, okay?” He chuckles.

You roll your eyes. “Whatever. Thanks, really.”

The atmosphere felt charged with an unspoken tension as you both sat at a small table by the window, the warm sunlight filtering in. Joel's eyes seemed to hold a certain depth, a familiarity that stirred something within you.

"So, tell me about yourself, cowgirl," Joel said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you.

You took a sip of your cold brew, gathering your thoughts. "There’s not a whole lot to tell. Well, there is, but not a lot I want to go into right now. I fell in love with horses after riding a pony at a fair, and it kind of exploded from there. I started off riding Western and doing gymkhanas, then switched over to hunter/jumpers. That was obviously a huge change. I exelled really quickly in that, but as you probably know, being the best doesn’t mean you’re treated the best. A lot of shit happened at those barns, and I quit when when I was 18. People called me selfish and self-absorbed for quitting, which is what i believed for awhile. But my mental health imrpoved a lot after quitting and I came to accept the fact that it was a good thing.”

Joel nodded, his expression understanding. "I get that. Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and we need to take a step back to reassess things."

"Yeah, exactly," you replied, feeling a sense of relief wash over you at his understanding. "But now I'm back, and I'm hoping things will be different this time."

"I'm sure they will be," Joel said with a reassuring smile. "You've got a good head on your shoulders, cowgirl."

You felt heat creeping up your cheeks at his compliment, quickly taking another sip of your cold brew to hide your reaction. "Thanks, Joel. I appreciate that."

The conversation flowed effortlessly between you, covering everything from your favorite books to your shared love of old John Wayne western movies. With each passing moment, you found yourself becoming more and more drawn to Joel, his easygoing nature and genuine kindness pulling you in.

Before you knew it, your cups were empty, and it was time to head back to the barn. As you walked side by side with Joel, the familiar feeling of nervous excitement bubbled up inside you once again.

As soon as you walk back into the barn, he turns on a 70s playlist and tosses you a mucking fork. “Ready to muck some stalls, cowgirl?”

The music fills the barn with a nostalgic vibe as you take the mucking fork from Joel with a grin. "Born ready," you reply, matching his playful tone.

Together, you fall into a rhythm of cleaning the stalls, the repetitive motion oddly soothing as you work side by side. Joel hums along to the music, occasionally breaking out into a soft whistle that echoes through the barn.

As you work, you can't help but steal glances at Joel, admiring the way his muscles flex beneath his shirt with each movement. There's something comforting about his presence, a sense of safety and warmth that you haven't felt in a long time.

Before you know it, the stalls are clean, and the horses are happily munching on fresh hay. You wipe the sweat from your brow, feeling a sense of satisfaction at a job well done.

"Thanks for your help, cowgirl," Joel says, giving you a grateful smile as he leans against the stall door.

"No problem," you reply, returning his smile. "It was actually kind of fun."

Joel chuckles, pushing himself off the door. "Glad to hear it. You've got a talent for this, you know?"

You feel a swell of pride at his words, a sense of validation that you haven't felt in a long time. "Thanks, Joel. That means a lot coming from you."

He gives you a nod of appreciation before glancing at his watch. "Well, I hate to cut this short, but I've got some paperwork to take care of. Think you can handle things on your own for a bit?"

You nod confidently, eager to prove yourself. "Of course. I'll hold down the fort."

"Great," Joel says, giving you a pat on the shoulder. "I'll be back in a bit. And hey, if you need anything, just give me a shout."

With that, he disappears into the office, leaving you alone in the barn. You take a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination coursing through your veins.

You may have started the day with doubts and anxieties, but now, as you stand in the quiet of the barn surrounded by the gentle sounds of the horses, you feel a sense of purpose wash over you.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #mrs ohara writes shit #pedro pascal #the last of us

22 notes · View notes

taegularities · 10 months ago

Note

Hey bubs!!! How are you doing?🥹

Celebrating my 5 months unemployed ass today. Happy monthsary to myself🥰🥰🥰. More seriously I am in the verge of breaking down actually I am already. Getting a Master Degree and yet not finding anything cause all of them said « very good profil but unfortunately lack of experience blablabla » like duh if you don’t give me a chance how do I get experience huh. I AM GOING CRAZY HERE.

Also I am feeling lonely af. And want to be loved so much too, to give and to receive. Saw your deleted post earlier. Tried dating app but guess what? Deleted it right after I donwload it. As you know I have comitment issues too, think I am not ready for that. Genuine question tho, where do you guys find nice and sweet guys? I still believe that I will have a YN moment in this world…

Oh and why do I feel that everytime I slide to your inbox I am always complaining? I really need to be fixed and change that.

A year ago : kookoo first weverse live after 2 full months being mia. Was on my way back from ytc screening in theater that day. Miss him a lot lately </3

Okay from now on I will only spread positive vibes in your inbox!!!!!!!! Hugs ans kisses 🤎 oh and can’t wait to listen to your cmi audio commentary <3

hi, beloved!!! i'm doing okay! i'm off work for a weeeekkk after tmrw + the uni semester's finally over (kinda bummed i didn't get the A in one of my classes but the others got C's, so.. i'm happy about that B :')). so i'm looking forward to relaxing lol :')

i'm so sorry for what you've been dealing with, though :(( that whole cycle of hell is a true mystery... they need employees but experience, too 😦 i'm crossing my fingers and manifesting that you land a job soon, though, babe!! please keep trying, bc it'll be worth the effort [gonna be the first to celebrate with you. i better be >:)]

and i know :(( it can get lonely for sure. i was a bit overwhelmed this morning, so i kinda vented a lil jejdjdhsh but yeah, love isn't easy to tackle and find. and i think we shouldn't look for it anyway!! i always "preach" lol that the best things come to you when you go with the flow and don't seek them too desperately.. so let's hope for that y/n moment to arrive as a surprise and when we least expect it, and just heal and vibe in the meantime. for now, you have my love, if it means anything 🤍

it's okay!! honestly, you can talk about whatever, whenever :') i'm just happy to hear from you. besides, it shows that you trust me and feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, and that's a top tier compliment. always gonna inhale your positive vibes, too, though 🥰 (also, will you believe i shed an actual freaking tear when i saw that pic like i miss my sleepyhead bunny baby so much it hurts 😭 GIVE HIM BACK TO ME)

#but honestly tho to those who have found love.. i wish y'all the absolute best fr #and agghhh i saw your submission for the commentary 🥺 tysm and i can't wait to record it 🤍#notes for rid 🌹#axelle <3

2 notes · View notes

pokeythegreat123 · 1 year ago

Note

Season 3 wasn’t so bad actually.

I mean, I don’t like that Tim died, but it wasn’t a surprise. Daisy was certainly interesting, so it’s sad to see her go too.

bUT THEY KILLED MICHAEL! AND GERRY! TWICE EACH!!! and the other Michael. And ALMOST Jon, but he’s thankfully not dead.

I’m really glad we got a full grasp of what entities there are, and why, that just makes me happy lol. The more I listen to this the more convinced I am that I wouldn’t mind this job TOO too much. I probably wouldn’t, y’know, SURVIVE, but I think I’d be good at the rest of it. I also really liked getting to see all the different characters, like Trevor, Julia, Gerard Keay (r.i.p. v_v), and Helen once she became the Distortion. I can’t believe she literally asked Jon for help and he was just like “gEt OuT”, like SIR. STOP PICKING FIGHTS WITH ENTITIES THAT DON’T WANT TO KILL YOU!

I gained some healthy respect and admiration for Elias this season but while I appreciate how absolutely killer the man is, hE MADE MELANIE AND MARTIN ***CRY*** AND THAT IS **NOT** OKAY WITH ME!!! I loathe that he was like “well, if I had more time I’d tell you about how your crush despises you and break your heart THAT way, buuuuuuut since I’m a very busy man I’ll just go with shattering your entire sense of self-worth instead. :)”Watching Martin snap at people is probably one of my favourite things though because yes bby, stand up for yourself! Stop taking shit from people! You have a right to be angry and optimism is not a bad thing!

Oh my gosh though, when Jon was in Georgie’s house and all the lights went out and Nikola came in and talked to him I almost died. My sister had showed me TikToks and YouTube Shorts that she liked, usually cosplayers, using the audio of “You don’t sound Russian??” “How can I sound ANYTHING, silly? I’m Plastic! :D I don’t even have a vOiCe BoX, I had to bOrrOw this one!” And she’d literally shown me one like, THE DAY BEFORE, and I have no idea how I didn’t pick up on Jon’s voice, but once the scene was playing on the episode and then hit that part I was like OH MY GODS NO WAY ITS FROM MAGNUS ARCHIVES NO HEKKING WAY!! I played it for her and she got the exact same look on her face, though since I started the scene earlier than most audios do (for context) she already had the look because she recognized the voice lol.

But yeah, pretty good season overall. Listening to Basira and Melanie go “oh my god nobody has ever had a bigger crush than Martin has on Jon” was absolutely brilliant, I couldn’t stop grinning for a solid minute. Then Elias made her CRY but that’s not the point here. I also love that they invited Martin out for drinks, and that Jon is a Cat Person(tm).

I’m excited to see what season 4 does with Jon’s essentially-a-coma-but-he-has-no-actual-vitals and dreams, and whatever the ritual for the eye is, since that was supposed to come after the Unknowing. I can’t remember what Gertrude called it, but I know it had to do with crowns.

Anyways, thank you for listening to my rambles, luv you so much, and enjoy the beginning of yet another school year! :D <3

AHHHHHH season 3 my beloved. Also you may judge me but one of my favourite scenes is Elias making Martin cry because the two things I love in this world are Elias Bouchard and angst. Season 3 is so much fun bc u get to meet so many cool people. I love Daisy sm, she’s such a cool character. I’m very excited I think you’ll love season 4. Anyways have fun I’ll probably see you tmrw <3

#tma

3 notes · View notes

rosegoldendaydream · 1 year ago

Note

have any artist/album/somg recommendations to share? im going a roadtrip tmrw so im asking around bc i’ll have a lot of time to listeb to new stuff

oh god, i think i might not be the best person to ask, because my taste in music is kind of mainstream, so you might know all of it already.

i listen mostly to taylor swift, and, based on your profile, i'm pretty sure that you already know her music, but anyway i'm going to tell you what are her songs that i think are underrated: the lucky one, begin again, i know places, clean, so it goes..., new year's day, mad woman, epiphany, the lakes, paris, bigger than the whole sky, you are in love, and ONLY THE YOUNG PLEASE LISTEN TO IT IF YOU DON'T KNOW IT YET I FEEL LIKE NO ONE ELSE KNOWS IT (i know that basically every single one of her songs is kind of popular, but i just wanted to share my thought that these songs deserve to be more popular).

i also listen to conan gray, i think that his newest song (never ending song) is very different from the older ones, so don't judge him based only on it, he has a lot of sad songs too (like summer child for an example). (also don't take it as me saying that i don't like never ending song, i like it, but i just think that his older songs are better.)

also, girl in red. i don't all of her songs yet, but she's pretty cool too.

there is this polish singer, he won the voice kids poland or something like this. i don't think that he's really really good but i'm very sentimentic towards his songs because i used to listen to them a lot of time, his name is marcin maciejczak.

i also really like mäneskin.

oh, and obviously ABBA.

i think that there is also a list of songs that i listen to, but don't really have a strong opinion about the singer, so i'm just going to put it here by title:

matilda by harry styles

tired of california by nessa barret

pink skies by LANY

dancing in the kitchen by LANY

30/90 by andrew garfield, it's from a movie i think

ceilings by lizzy mcalpine

why am i like this by orla gartland

fourth of july by sufjan stevens

the village by wrabel

cure for me by aurora

what a perfect day for crying by iamnotshane

boys will be bugs by cavetown

labour by paris paloma

gladiator by jann

can ghosts be gay by carpetgarden

skeleton by DAMONA

there is also this song made by a polish group that makes fan covers of songs from a game (i don't remember the name of the game) and they made this cover named "idol" and i suprisingly really like it. they're named NanoKarrin, you can listen to it too if you want to

sorry for this answer being so long, have a wonderful day and i hope that your trip will go great <3

5 notes · View notes

summertimeskinney · 2 years ago

Text

lol just ranting

anyone else at the point where they are just maintaining even tho they arent even close to their ugw? bc im 130 rn and maintaining it but my ugw is at least 74/75 but im just at the point where im not always completely disgusted by my body because im looking at it more subjectively and i dont think i would look good skin and bone.. honestly i dont even know why im doing this anymore. Like i dont even remember why i started doing this in the first place. my hw was like 150-160 and the only reason i became aware of my weight was because authority figures in my life were pointing it out (according to my bmi i was only slightly overweight) I started losing weight rapidly in freshman year because i discovered proana and found a community of people who were in the same situation. and i was praised.. by everyone? i was starving, then i was binge/purging. how did i even end up like this? i mean ive never really had the best relationship with food but i was only overeating a bit. now i eat until i feel so sick that i puke or am in physical pain. i can make myself throw up on demand now? ive gone literal days without eating anything. like nothing at all besides diet soda, sugar free monster, and water. im at the point where my brain is in a constant battle between the decision to binge or starve. i'll just be minding my business than my brain will be like "if you were 80lbs it wouldn't be this way" or "you're so fat, it wouldn't even be hard to be 100lbs or less. like. what are you doing? why are you so heavy and gross?" it won't stop. and instead of starving like i used to i just binge, like all day. and i dont purge either.. i don't even know whats going on anymore. im not depressed like i used to be, but i can't get the thoughts out of my head. i guess you really are in it forever? i never really believed all the warning posts about how bad eds are and how you can never go back, or maybe i just ignored them. i cant even fathom what i really look like. i have body dysmorphia in all the ways. not only do i think that despite being 5' tall and 130 lbs i would fit into anything bigger than a small. i feel gross, but ik that when i go to the doctor she's going to say that i need to lose more weight because im 2 lbs from being in a normal bmi rage. despite my titties literally weighing almost 10lbs. but then i already have troubles fitting into clothes, most places don't carry more than a small or xs in person and almost never go over a small online. i am already an xs - small as an "overweight" person. I cant imagine how hard it would be to find clothes that actually fit me at 75 lbs soaking wet. i saw a video by jesse page today talking about how she always thought that to be a princess she had to be as delicate as possible and never take up space, but then how after gaining weight she fit her princess dresses better and relearned how to feel beautiful. i want to be a delicate little doll that you could toss around and never took up a whole seat. a pretty little doll that you had to be extra careful with because you didn't want me to break. ik its not good to feel this way but i can't change the temptation to forever be empty, live off candy and diet coke, and never eat real food again. to be more of an object than a human being. but then the logical side of my brain pipes in and is like hi, i dont care what i weigh but i want to have a strong healthy body with some good biceps. i dont know how to help myself or be normal.

anyways

im fasting n laxing tmrw bc i need a cleanse. lol bye

4 notes · View notes

chososcamgirl · 27 days ago

Note

HIHIHI IYA DAILY CHECK IN HRUUU⁉️

IVE BEEN LACKING ON MY TUMBLR ASKS LATELY BCUZ IVE BEEN GETTING MORE SUN IN (due to recent events) BUT IM HEALING AND THINGS ARE MAKING PROGRESS ��🤗 IM SOSOSO SORRY I HAVENT CHECKED IN ON U RECENTLY BUT IM GOING THRU UR PAGE RN AND TRYING TO CATCH UP🙏💯 (UPDATE ME ON ANYTHING/EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENED 🙏🐺)

IM TAKING A BREAK FROM SCHOOL RN BECAUSE I NEED TO MEET CERTAIN CONDITIONS TO BE ABLE TO COME BACK ON CAMPUS 😭😭 AND I MIGHT NOT BE ON TUMBLR AS MUCH SO HERES MY DISC (mikikoo.o) AGAIN IM SO SO SOOO SORRY FOR NOT CHECKING IN AND STUFF I PROMISE IM TRYING TO BE MORE ACTIVE 😔💔

I STARTED WATCHING MOB PYSCHO AND ITS SO GOOD OMG⁉️⁉️ TBH WHEN I GOT BACK INTO ANIME I THOUGHT I WOULD ONLY WATCH JJK BUT NOW IM GETTING INTO OTHER SHOWS🤗🤗

AND I GOT BACK INTO ARTTTT YAYYYY CUS I HAD A HUGEEE ART BLOCK BEFORE BUT IM GLAD IM DRAWING AGAIN 🙏🙏

ALSO YES I KNOW ANON IS OFF CUS THIS IS AN ALPHA ANON REVEAL 😈🐺 ALSO I WANNA GET INTO POSTING STUFF BUT IDK WHAT TO POST 😔💯

SO EXCITED FOR SJAP WEEKENDDDD OMFJENEBDNEJEBE ‼️‼️ BUT MAKE SURE UR NOT TOO TIRED ITS OKAY IF WERE EDGED 💗💗🤗

ALSO HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL PURPLE EYED ONIGIRI SPEAKING BF TOGE 🤗💗🤤

SORRY THIS ONE IS SO SHORTTTT ‼️‼️💯 ILL MAKE SURE TO DO A LONGER ONE TMRW + I BELIEVE I HAVE ONE IN UR INBOX⁉️⁉️ UNLESS I FORGOT TO SEND THAT ONE 😔😔

ALSO AOTD… NONE TODAY 😭😭 SORRY I REALLY NEED TO KEEP MY ASKS UP TO DATE 😔😔😔

QOTDDDDDD WHAT ARE U GONNA BE FOR HALLOWEEN??? (Idk if I did this one alr or not if I did then sorry 😢💔)

OKOK I HOPE U HAVE A VERY VERY SKIBIDI AMAZING DAY SIGMA ILYSMMMM TAKW CARE🤗🤗🤗 #BLESSUP😇‼️

MIKO!!! <333

hi lovely i meant to answer this last time but i completely forgot and the ask ended up glitching😭 hi hello how are you angel i hope you are well!! <3

btw NEWS GUYS!! miko is alpha anon🙂‍↕️ if you can’t tell already… HOORAY!! another anon revealed!!! i’m so glad you’re healing and taking precautions on getting better lovely! i’m so glad you’re here with us again :) ERM SO!!!! i’ve just been working LITCH that’s it. my life is so boring atm i honestly just want to start uni so i can have something more FULFILLING but omg i’m meeting up with my long distance friend VERY SOON so i’m sosososo excited like i miss her BAD😭 it’s been 551 days since we last saw eachother 💔

OOOOO okay i’ll add you on discord after i send this ask but that’s totally okay!! do what you need to do to get better🙂‍↕️ we’ll definitely talk more on there too! OOOOO mob psycho is def on my list after i finish aot and bsd🙏 i wanna start demon slayer again TOO rahhh so many things to do!!!! YAY FOR ART BLOCK BEING OVER!! blocks in general SUCK but the relief after is SO GOOD🗣️🗣️🔥 WHOOP i’m glad you can post pictures now.. heh… 😈

IM SUPER EXCITED FOR SJAP WEEKEND AND SJAP HALLOWEEN!!! i’m like shaking in my boots.. DONT WORRY ITS DEF GETTING POSTED THIS WEEK🤫🤫🙇‍♀️ also i litch missed my favs birthday too😓 the ONE day i wasn’t on tumblr it was his birthday KMS💔💔 HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY THO KING!! UR FINE!! DONT STRESS!! also i do not believe i have any other of ur asks in here 😭 UNLESS MY INBOX IS GLITCHED OUT BUT I’LL DOUBLE CHECK!!!

AOTD‼️ I AM DRESSING UP AS MAXINE MINX !!!! i am sososoos excited for it to debut i did a practice run and god it looks so fire HBY🫵

ILY TOO MIKO/ALPHA!!! <33 HAVE A SUPER SKIBIDI DAY😏😏

#៵ 🐇 ࣪ ִֶָ ⋆ 𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓶𝓪𝓲𝓵 #🐺 check in #miko 🐺

1 note · View note

swanscumz · 2 years ago

Text

night besties

I am going to wakeup tmrw and I already know I am not going to have a good day. /srs /neg

6 notes · View notes

hyunverse · 2 years ago

Note

yep yep yep ! i feel like that mv was such a turn for skz’s usual stuff like it was just DIFFERENT

samsung ad changbin brought out a side of me that i wish to keep in 😇 the ending part where he was pretty much scolding us in the suit had me all 🤭🤭🤭🤭

AHH THATS COOL AND YAYYYY !! i cannot find oddinary anywhere 😩 hopefully one day tho ! what were ur pulls ??

I LOVE IT SMMMMM ITS SO CUTEEEE !!!! the hyunlix pic 🥲 so soft. i think i’m seeing some lee know on there too 😏😏

kisses for u my love <333 i’m taking a day off from life tmrw LOL i’m rly excited to just do absolutely nothing for once 😎 you up to anything fun ??

- 🐈‍⬛

talking abt god's menu era be making me daydream abt long-haired blonde hyune god... god I am not your strongest soldier i need to stop!!! i just wanna play with his hair </3 his cute blonde coconut hair for maxident was so short lived too :( he looks like vanilla ice cream with that hair, i miss it sm. i miss blonde hyune.

they spiked that ad with something man... i'm thinking it's the fitted black shirt. i would let him absolutely demolish me with insults. like yes! insult me in that tight fitted black shirt! i will listen to u sir!

can we also talk abt superboard minho doe? please... please let's talk abt it. let's talk abt the messy hair and the lazy look and the way he was staring at the camera ONCE AGAIN GOD I AM NOT YOUR STRONGEST SOLDIER! I AM WEAK! WEAKENED BY THE LOOKS OF THESE MEN 🤌i want superboard minho so badly like b my Skater Boyfriend pls i am BEGGING.

I PULLED THE AUSSIE LINE FOR MY POB, AND A MINI FELIX POSTER AND AND CHANGBIN AND CHAN!! the trading pcs i got mainly the ones with han in it lol. i will show u a pic tmr maybe!!! too lazy to get my binder out zzzZZzz. i'm planning to buy another album with my bff too! i'm thinking maybe go live or another version of noeasy.

hehe yep there's lee know there!!! love that man with my heart and soul (if u cant tell already) i swear the hyunlix pic is my luckiest pull. i love it sm!!!

THATS SO GOOD URE TAKING A BREAK!! im thinking i need one too but too busy </3 i have absolutely nothing fun planned T__T maybe i'm gonna online shop LOL i wanna buy a rare beauty blusher so bad!!!!

how's ur day off from life going? hugs 4 u my love!!

#rin's lovemail!#🐈‍⬛ anon 💌

0 notes

dgaftilwedie · 5 months ago

Text

my yearning to answer questions is fucking insatiable oh my god

ok well what if my favorite character WAS a bad guy :'(( to be fair, violet baudelaire isn't evil but

my hands are freezing half the time so i get that a lot

i don't know actually

yeah ☹️ *stares longingly in the direction of snow white's poison bite*

dark grey i think?? it's been a while since i've worn a coat so i don't know

kinda?? thicker pasta tastes different than thinner pasta but i can only tell the difference when they're raw

not that often i don't think........... idk i have rock on a lot of my playlists but i usually listen to either heavier stuff or kpop

sometime in the first week of june. pretty sure the last classroom i was ever in was my hot bio teacher's........... sigh..........

it depends??? idk i don't play very many roleplaying games but being evil is funner in my opinion

orange

years ago and i wanna keep it that way 😭😭

trombone.......... (i actually think it sounds cool but im a trumpet player)

i've never had one in my room but i want one so fucking bad you have no idea

frozen chicken nuggets :3 i had them for dinner they were delicious

i gave myself a fugly pixie cut during quarantine oh my god 😭😭 the only good thing that hairstyle did for me was make me realize i did NOT wanna be a girl LMFAO

i do NOT remember the author's name

im holding my phone with both of my hands so i can type easier but it's primarily resting in my left hand

i think?? so?? my mom got me a bracelet so i coukd sponsor a shark :3 his name is thor i haven't checked on him in a while but i am the proud parent of a shark

sea turtle :3 i like the ocean

my bedroom cuz i have everything i need already in there

i don't listen to coldplay :(

i have never flown before either

over the summer, i sleep way too much

i have two keyboards - the samsung one that comes with my phone and then my facemoji one that i use all the time :3

YEAH those little japanese jewel beetle things........ idk i think they're really cute i really like them :3 also idk if spiders count as insects but i am the biggest fan of spiders ever i fucking LOVE SPIDERS

no :P but i've wanted to

not very often but i have a lot of really cute heels that i should break out more often

i don't think i have a favorite episode of futurama but the first one that came to mind was the one where amy and bender hook up 😭😭

maura?? i think??

white and blue and green

i think i'd have a normal sized snout :3 not borzoi-long but not pug-short ......... somewhere in the pitbull to husky range

i've never gone ice skating at all, let alone by myself

i can hear two of em if i really concentrate

nope, it's too late for the birds to be awake rn i think (it's 2:30am)

like a solid foot long

white :3 popcorn ceiling :3 i love it

i do but i refuse to touch it LMFAO i fractured my wrist scootering once and i've been on edge about it ever since

pink obviously............ or purple......... or maybe like minty green

ehhhhhhh i have however long i don't have anything to do tmrw

a couple days ago, it was super mario 3d world for the switch

yeah :3 it's green with blue stars on it

over 100 (it's mostly numbers)

eleven.............. i think

i do NOT remember but it was recent

baer

toblerone fudge

ghoulology (no)

half of our outlets were sealed with glitter glue

i know more about asian languages cuz i actually to study them ☝🤓 so im gonna go with that

long :3

SURVEY 19 💛

length: 50 questions

----------

Who is your least favourite character from your favourite book? (no villains/bad guys allowed)

Do people tell you you have cold hands?

When was the last time you held an umbrella?

Do you still listen to any disbanded bands?

What colour is the last coat you wore?

Do you feel that the shape of the pasta alters the taste?

How often do you listen to rock music?

When were you last in a classroom?

In games, do you like to roleplay as good or bad?

What was your favourite colour when you were 10?

When were you last in a hospital?

Is there an instrument you don't like the sound of?

When was the last time you had a lava lamp in your room?

What was the last frozen food you ate?

What is the shortest haircut you have had?

How many letters are in the author's name of the last book you read?

How are you currently holding your device?

Have you ever sponsored an animal?

Would you rather be a kangaroo or a sea turtle?

Do you like to get ready in the bathroom or the bedroom?

What's your favourite Coldplay song?

What do you think about turbulence on a flight?

Normally, do you sleep too many hours or not enough?

How many keyboards/languages do you have on your phone?

Do you have a favourite insect?

Have you ever worn coloured contacts for Halloween?

How often do you wear heels?

Do you have a favourite episode of your favourite show?

What was your first teacher's first name?

What colour are your toothbrush's bristles?

Were you a dog, how long would your snoot be?

Have you ever gone ice skating alone?

Can you hear a clock ticking now?

How about birds tweeting?

How long would your ideal magic wand be?

What colour is your ceiling?

Do you own a scooter?

Which pastel colour is the nicest?

How many hours until you have to get up next?

When did you last play a Mario game?

Ever owned an actual piggy bank?

How many words of Spanish do you reckon you know?

How many rugs/mats/carpets are in your house?

When did you last swing on a swing-set?

Do you have a favourite Haribo shape?

How would you describe your favourite singer's voice in 2 words?

Do you study any subjects in your free time?

Any interesting or unusual facts about your house?

Would you rather become fluent in 3 European languages or 3 Asian languages?

Are your bedroom curtains long or short?

#kira's answering questions. again.

7 notes · View notes

onceupon · 3 years ago

Text

London Boy - Part 4: Just friends

summary: You wake up to find Rafe Cameron in your bed. Even though nothing happened, you’re still left trying to make sense of it all.

pairing: Rafe x reader (slowburn)

warnings: swearing, drinking

word count: 5k

a/n: thank you so much to all of you who have been reading along <333 sorry in advance if you want this to progress faster haha, it simply must be this slow, sorry I don't make the rules (even tho I do lol). Not canon Rafe!!

masterlist

Your eyes slowly flutter open as the early morning rays wake you up. You didn’t even remember falling asleep. As you slowly gain consciousness you’re startled by the weight of Rafe’s arm draped across your body. What the hell? When did that happen? He spent the night in your bed?

Your mind races at a million miles an hour as you slowly slip out from under his hold. You were careful not to wake him up, not wanting to face any awkwardness. You throw on fresh clothes and grab your backpack, desperate to make your escape. You had wanted to get to school early today to work on some homework anyways, never before so eager to trade in the comfort of your bed for the library.

After a quick pit stop to pick up a coffee and a croissant, you swing the heavy wooden doors open. You liked campus at this hour, the morning light still soft, the air crisp, and the atmosphere silent. As you scan your eyes for a spot to sit, you notice the unmistakable sight of fluffy brown hair hunched over a table.

“Liam?” your whisper. “What the hell are doing here?”

That classic cheeky grin spreads across his face as he looks up to find you standing in front of him. “I go here, Y/n. Forget already?”

You roll your eyes, “I just didn’t know you were the studious type.”

“Not gonna lie to you babe, I’m not. But Rogers is already all the way up my ass over this class, and I’m not letting that prick hold me back a year.”

You pull out the chair across from him and go to sit down, spreading your books out on the table.

“Who said you could sit with?” he asks, and you shoot him a look. You’re not in the mood. “Geez alright, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed… you good Y/n?” he slows, taking in your disheveled appearance. You hadn’t so much as brushed your hair.

“Can you promise not to tell anyone,” you stare dead into his eyes.

“On my life,” he extends his pinky, and you accept.

“Rafe… slept over last night…”

“Oh shit!” he exclaims, and your eyes widen at his echoing voice.

“Not like that,” you hiss, not wanting to draw anymore attention to the two of you. “Nothing happened… like he just came over to watch a show and then we talked for a while and just accidentally… fell asleep. I panicked when I woke up and realized he was still in my bed so I ran out of there as fast as I could and now…. well now I’m here.” You nervously chug your coffee, heart racing.

“So he hung out with you all night and didn’t make a move?”

You nod, nervously awaiting his analysis as you take a bite of your croissant.

“Damn, boy must really like you,” he muses.

“What? Definitely not,” you scoff.

“Y/n, let me tell you a little something about guys. If we really like you, we’re gonna make the time to hang out with you, no matter what. The fact that he’s coming over your room to watch a show and hanging out with you until he physically can’t stay awake - I mean I can’t make it any more obvious to you.”

“I don’t know I just don’t think so… You don’t know Rafe like that, he’s a total player back home. He can pull any girl he wants, so if he liked me like that he would’ve done something by now. This is probably how he is with all his friends and I’m just reading too much into it. I’m sure Lily Colts will be in his bed soon enough,” you mumble. That last part stings in particular, you had already thought it, but saying it out loud made you feel… icky.

“I may not know Rafe like that, but I know guys like him. I am guys like him. He likes you Y/n. So what if he pulls a lot of chicks, he doesn’t actually care about them. But he cares about you, probably can’t even understand why, and now it’s like bam Uno reverse. He can’t pull the cards he normally does, and now you’ve got him confused and he doesn’t know what to do. Man’s down bad. Give him time though, he’ll come around,” he explains to you calmly, stealing your coffee cup from you and taking a sip.

“Honestly can I just start paying you to figure my life out for me. You make everything seem so simple.”

“Because it is simple. You insist on complicating it. But I know how you could pay me,” he adds with a wink and you shoot him a glare. You know he’s just joking (partially), he loves pushing your buttons.

“Well whatever. I’ll believe it when I see it,” you resign on the Rafe matter. You wanted to believe what Liam was saying but it didn’t quite make sense to you. You were only going to drive yourself crazy trying to read between lines that you weren’t sure existed. Rafe was just used to situations like this with girls. To him last night was probably no big deal. It was to you though. You would never let ‘just a friend’ stay over like that, with his arm around you no less. But Rafe didn’t need to know that, you decide.

—-

You manage to avoid Rafe all day, not having any classes with him on Friday’s. As soon as your last class is over, you sprint home, relieved when you’re the first back at the flat and can quickly slip into your room undetected. You set down your bag and sit on the edge of your bed. Your hand slowly runs over your comforter, still ruffled from where Rafe had been laying the night before. The indent of his head is still on your pillow; you can almost smell the scent of him lingering in your room and hear the sound of his soft whispers. You wonder what his first thoughts were when he woke up in your bed alone - was he confused? Embarrassed? He probably thought nothing of it at all. You can just picture him casually getting up with a stretch, like it’s the start of any typical day.

You slip into the shower and let the water wash over your body. It’s warm and soothing, and it’s reminding you of Rafe laying next to you, of his arm wrapped around you. God if there was only a way to shut your brain off once in a while. As much as you tried to suppress it, there had been a tiny part of you that was happy to have woken up in his embrace, giddy like a school girl with a crush. You’d always wondered how a moment like that would feel, or how a moment like that with him would feel. You had conveniently failed to mention the “arm” detail to Liam, maybe because in the back of your mind you knew it would only help prove his theory right.

When you make your way back to your room, your phone buzzes and the Royal Fam 🇬🇧🇺🇸 group chat appears.

Olivia: who wants to go out tonight 😈

Topper: me and Rafe have to be up early tmrw for soccer - rain check on this one ladies

Olivia: :(

Olivia: girls night out??

Millie: you know I’m there!

You’re a little bummed that Rafe won’t be there tonight. But a girls night sounds like just what you need to get him off your mind.

Y/n: I’m in :)

Not even a few minutes later Olivia and Millie are barging into your room, causing you to let out a startled yelp.

“My god, heard of knocking,” you exhale with your hand coming to your chest. Your statement falls on death ears.

“Which jeans with this top,” Olivia asks, holding the clothing items against her body.

“Should I curl or straighten my hair with this,” Millie follows, holding her outfit up.

“Uhh,” your mind scrambles, “those jeans Liv. And straight, Mills,” you reply, shocked by your own decidedness. “But now you guys have to help me, I have no clue what to wear.”

“Say less,” Olivia flashes a smile.

Within minutes they tear through your closet, picking out your outfit. Things were always much more clear with a fresh set of eyes. The three of you discuss the night’s logistics before making your way to the kitchen - couldn’t go drinking on an empty stomach. Rafe and Topper are already there, and you try your best to act natural even though your stomach ties itself in a knot the moment you catch a glimpse of his face. You haven’t seen him since you ran out this morning.

“Uh hey I’m gonna run to Sainsbury’s real quick, I wanna get a chaser, anyone need anything,” you ask, avoiding eye contact with Rafe. Your nerves get the best of you and in terms of fight or flight, you were ready to flee.

“Hey wait I’ll come with you. Gotta pick something up for dinner,” Rafe stands grabbing his jacket, and before you can interject, he’s leading the way down the hall and out your shared flat.

“So what are you chasing tonight?”

“What?” you ask startled, his question pulling you back to reality. Your mind had been running in a loop, trying to read him and the thoughts in his head. You wished now more than ever that you knew what Rafe was like behind closed doors back home, so you could somehow make sense of it all.

He chuckles at you, lost in your own world. “You said you needed a chaser?” Those intimidating blue eyes have found their way to yours again and you hastily look away, focusing in front of you instead.

“Oh yeah- uh just for the vodka,” you laugh nervously.

“Basic,” he mocks. You scoff in surprise and lightly hit him on the chest as the laughter leaves your lips. He’s sporting a shit-eating grin, having successfully egged you on.

“You’re funny if you think I’m gonna do shots of whiskey before going to a club.”

“Well you do owe me one…” he says.

“Oh so he remembers?” you reply, amused.

“Of course,” he states so calm and so sure. Your head swirls at that, his cool confidence making you melt. The automatic doors slide open in front of you, fluorescent lights stealing your attention from the boy you were finding dangerously more attractive by the second.

“I thought we’re supposed to take it together? But someone’s being lame and not coming out tonight,” you say sarcastically, playing it as cool as you can manage. Rafe’s confidence seemed to come naturally, but you were more of a fake-it-till-you-make-it kind of gal.

“Hey you know I have soccer,” he defends. The Kook Prince was not one to turn down a party without cause.

“Excuses excuses,” you shake your head.

“Actually, speaking of soccer, you uh- you and the girls should come tomorrow. If you’re not doing anything. Or not too hungover I should say. Game’s at 12.”

“Can’t make any promises Cameron, but we’ll see,” you smile, earning a satisfied smile from him in return.

You make your way to the frozen food aisle, Rafe explaining to you how they call a soccer field a football pitch here, as you laugh at him grabbing 5 frozen pizzas (dinner solved for the next week, of course). You ask him which chaser you should pick. He points out a cola, so naturally you decide to get blackberry seltzer water, Rafe twisting his face in disgust (who would voluntarily drink that tv static). You always felt so nervous at first, to be in Rafe’s presence, but all it ever took was a few minutes for you to completely relax around him. He was intimidating, yet inviting. Mysterious, yet open. He was somehow the cause of your anxious nerves and yet the source of your comfort. The fear of facing Rafe after running out this morning had paralyzed your thoughts all day, and now you could hardly remember why. He hadn’t mentioned it at all, as if nothing happened. His normalcy confirmed for you that him sleeping over was in fact no big deal, and you almost want to laugh at yourself for how much you had worked it up in your head. You two were just friends, and perhaps Rafe was used to being… a friendlier friend than what you were used to. But that was okay, you could learn to be friendlier too.

—-

Rafe and Topper had decided to accompany you guys in the kitchen as you pregamed. They slowly sipped beers as you, Millie, and Olivia pounded back shots, laughing at the way you guys got progressively drunker and progressively louder before finally heading out. And much to your surprise, the boys were still seated in the same spot hours later, when the three of you stumble back into the flat, McDonalds in hand.

“Oh look who’s still up,” Olivia slurs, taking a bite of her cheeseburger.

“We can’t go out, we have soccer,” Millie mocks, almost falling to the floor as she trips over her heel, Topper and Rafe not making any effort to hide their clear amusement.

“Fun night huh?” Topper quirks his brow.

“The funnest,” Millie holds her head high, sinking down against the wall until she’s sat on the floor. You had made a beeline for the dining room table, silently admiring your chicken nuggets. In that moment, they were the best thing you had ever tasted.

“I want Jake,” Olivia pouts, and before anyone can say a word she’s turned on her heel, burger in hand, off to crawl into her boyfriend’s bed.

“Alright you drunk, let’s get you to bed,” Topper laughs, scooping an incoherent Millie up to her feet by her elbows.

“M’not drunk,” Millie protests, even though she’s leaning her full body weight against Topper who sarcastically nods at her, escorting her down the hallway. Rafe sits on the couch, silently playing with the cards in his hand again, not the least bit uncomfortable with sharing your company in silence.

“I’m mad at you,” you say matter of factly, taking a bite of a french fry. At this point, the alcohol is doing the talking.

“Mad at me?” Rafe stops shuffling the cards and raises his head to look at you, intrigued.

“Yeah because you didn’t come to the club,” you furrow your brows, chucking a fry at him. He catches it instantly, laughing to himself with a shake of his head.

“Don’t worry I saw all your guys’ snaps, I feel like I was practically there.”

“That’s not the same,” you frown, throwing another fry which he catches yet again.

“I’ll try to be there next time,” he laughs.

“That’s better I guess,” you grumble, eating another chicken nugget. The room grows quiet, Rafe training his attention back to the cards.

“When are we watching the next episode Cameron,” you break the silence, chucking another fry. He barely has to look up to catch your latest throw, shaking his head with a chuckle. He puts the cards down and makes his way over to the dining table, standing right above you now.

“Come on, time for you to go to bed,” he beckons you toward him with his arm, to which you only furrow your brows in indignation.

“I’m not done with my food,” you protest.

“Now you are,” he says, grabbing your last fry and finishing it with one bite. “Now c’mon.” You reluctantly grab onto his extended arm to help you get up. You walk down the hall together and he opens your door for you, letting you in as he leans against the frame. You immediately fall back and collapse on to your bed with a gasp, you didn’t remember it feeling so soft when you were sober.

“Goodnight L/n,” Rafe laughs, staring down at you.

“Goodnight Rafe,” you mumble, seconds away from passing out. He smiles to himself at the sight of you still in the outfit and shoes you had been out in, bent in surely the most uncomfortable position possible, legs half way off the bed, yet somehow already asleep. He’s about to head back to his room, but he hesitates, turning back to you with a sigh. As slowly and quietly as he can, he pulls your shoes off for you, lifts your legs onto the bed, and covers you in your blanket. And just as quick, he slips out of your room and back into his.

—-

You wake up the next morning, letting out a groan when you realize you’re still in the outfit you had worn clubbing. Your head dully aches and your throat is desert dry so you force yourself up and to the kitchen. When you see the aftermath of McDonald’s containers on the table, vague memories start flooding your brain in horror. You couldn’t have… could you? Did you actually throw french fries at him? You close your eyes and slowly run your hand over your face in realization. Great, you think to yourself, Rafe probably thinks you’re an annoying idiot. Good grief.

You hear the door of the flat opening and Olivia appears in the kitchen, holding a plate of breakfast sandwiches, your mouth watering at the sight.

“Thank the lovely lads in apartment 4E,” she laughs, placing them on the table. “Oh god, we went hard last night didn’t we,” she says, taking in the sight of the flat.

“A little too hard…” you remark.

“No such thing, darling! Now eat up and get dressed, we’ve got a match to catch,” she declares before disappearing down the hall where you can hear muffled groans of Millie being reluctantly dragged out of her bed. You sigh and sink down into a chair, grabbing a sandwich and taking a bite. Heaven. You make a mental note to thank Jake for his chef skills. You had completely forgotten that you and the girls were supposed to go watch Rafe and Topper’s match today. Your worries about having to face Rafe yesterday had been quick to melt away, but today they were back with a new vengeance.

—-

“Okay no one wander off when we get there. Y/n, fair warning, these games get… rowdy,” Millie says, as the three of you walk toward the field, arms linked.

“Things get pretty crazy at Kildare too,” you laugh, “so yeah, don’t fucking let me out of your sight.”

The three of you shake off your fits of laughter as you stumble toward the stands, finding a spot amongst the already packed crowd. You’re finally able to take in your surroundings, glancing at the field ahead. The opposing team is warming up on the pitch, clad in red. Westheath’s team is off to the side, the boys stretching and getting ready in their white uniforms. The dirty blonde immediately catches your eye. He’s jumping and jogging in place, headphones in as though he’s tuning out the physical noise around him, and probably the mental noise too. You wonder if he’s listening to one of the songs he showed you the other night.

He pauses his jogging to stretch out his arms, his eyes glazing over the stands, when suddenly they lock with yours. Your cheeks flush pink, embarrassed at having been caught staring, but his face just pulls into a wide grin and he gives you a wave. You wave back, and he does a quick hand motion that everyone does at Kildare games back home. You laugh and do the responding gesture, as he smiles cheekily at you before a teammate comes up to him, pulling his focus away. The exchange was brief, but oddly intimate. There was a whole field and a couple dozen people between you, and yet you two were the only witnesses to the interaction. You smile to yourself, relief in the fact that maybe getting a french fry chucked at him wasn’t enough to make him hate you after all. You wonder briefly if Rafe spends half as much time overanalyzing things the way you do. Liam was right, you do insist on overcomplicating things.

“Hey, earth to Y/n!” Olivia laughs, waving her hand in front of your face. “The game is starting!”

—

The final score flashes on the screen: 4-2, a win for Westheath. The students are going nuts, rushing the field. Olivia and Millie lead the way, pushing through the crowd until you guys reach Rafe and Topper.

“Let’s go boys!!” Olivia yells, jumping up and down with the sea of bodies and beer around you. Rafe and Topper react with equal enthusiasm, pulling each of you in for a hug. You and Rafe are the last to hug, him pulling you in brief but close against his large sweaty body, arms wrapped around you. You don’t even mind the stickiness of the hug, feeling deja vu at the warm feeling of being in his embrace again; a feeling that is foreign yet familiar, one you hadn’t felt before.

“Did you guys see Rafe’s goal in the second half!?” Topper asks, clapping his friend on the back.

“Of course we did, super star!” Millie cheers, giving Rafe a high five as he humbly shakes his head and laughs at his friends. The mental image of his goal was burned in your head, one that your mind would certainly play for you involuntarily over the next coming days.

“Alright we gotta go do some stuff with the team, but everyone’s going to Central Bar later. See you guys there?” Rafe asks.

“You got it,” Olivia replies, and they jog off with quick waves, you meeting those blue eyes in silent acknowledgement once again. It was that gaze that always made the rest of the world seem to disappear while his eyes met yours, making your heart skip a beat. He’s just a friend, you remind yourself. Just a tall, attractive, soccer-playing friend…

—

“Y/n! Liv! We’re doing a round!” Jake calls you and Olivia over to where him and Liam are already at the bar, four shot glasses ordered and lined up.

“On three! One, two-“ Liam chants, as the four of you down the alcohol. Central Bar had been buzzing with what felt like half of Westheath’s student body all day. After the game, you and the girls had gone back to your flat to nap and eat, before meeting up with Jake, Liam, and the rest of their boys to head to the bar. Rafe and Topper were already pretty buzzed when you guys got there, playing a round of table tennis with you before the rest of the soccer team and their other friends pulled their attention away. You couldn’t help the way your whole body tensed when Rafe greeted Lily with a tight hug, humbling you with the confirmation that Rafe’s actions toward you weren’t anything special. You resolved yourself to a night of drinking and dancing your worries away with Liv and Liam instead.

“Alright, round of table tennis? You two against me and Y/n?” Liam challenges.

“Please, I saw Y/n playing before, you guys have nothing on us,” Olivia flashes an evil smile, her competitive side coming out.

“Oh it’s on Liv,” you laugh, as your foursome stakes your claim at the pong table. While Olivia and Jake gather the balls and paddles, you notice Liam grimacing off into the distance. You follow his line of sight, landing on Topper and Millie drunkenly dancing together across the bar, a bit too close for comfort.

“What is she doing with that geezer,” he mumbles.

“Liam! Jealousy is unbecoming of you,” you gasp in mock disbelief.

“I’m not jealous,” he scoffs, and you quickly realize that he actually is, even though you had just been joking. Your jaw falls slack as you put two and two together. Liam and Millie were always by each other’s side, at school, at the pub, when you were all watching a movie at his apartment a few nights ago. He would tease her relentlessly and his own words rang in your ears If we really like you, we’re gonna make the time to hang out with you, no matter what.

“Shut up! Shut up!,” you whisper yell, hand coming to your mouth. “I should have realized this whole time… of course you like Millie! Everything you’ve been telling me you think exists between me and Rafe has actually been about her! She’s your Uno reverse card!” You’re shocking even yourself at these revelations.

“No no no, you can’t use my own words of wisdom against me, that’s not how this works Y/n. So what, maybe I slightly give a shit about Millie? Who cares. Her and I both know that’s never gonna happen. I still stand by everything I said about you and Rafe so don’t think your getting off so easy on that.”

“Then tell me why you’re staring at Millie while Rafe hasn’t so much as glanced my way since the minute Lily Colts got here, hmm?”

“Oh Y/n, Y/n Y/n Y/n,” Liam tuts, shaking his head laughing as he turns to the game your group of four is about to begin. You don’t have the energy to argue with Liam over the matter right now, oblivious to the fact that Rafe had indeed been glancing your way, several times. In fact, he was glancing at you right now, as Liam reached his arm over yours to help you actually hold the paddle the right way. You just hadn’t been glancing back to notice, scared of what you may or may not see between him and Lily if you did.

—

The night dies down and it’s time for the pilgrimage back to your building. You’re walking with Millie when Liam quickly falls in step with you two. You give him a knowing smirk, to which he responds with a glare behind Millie’s back, but you let the two banter as you fall behind, now walking alone. You stare ahead, eyes mindlessly settling on Lily walking in between Callum and Henry at the front of the pack. You don’t notice the pair of legs that begin moving in pace next to your own.

“Tonight, by the way,” Rafe’s voice startles you as you jump next to him. He chuckles at the confusion written all over your face. “You asked last night when we’re watching the next episode. And my answer is tonight, L/n,” he states.

“Haven’t you been up since like the crack of dawn? Aren’t you tired?” you ask incredulously.

“Too tired for Game of Thrones? Never,” he scoffs, Liam’s words ringing in your ear. If we really like you, we’re gonna make the time to hang out with you, no matter what.

“Well then tonight it is,” you smile. “Sorry about the french fries last night by the way,” you say meekly, looking down at the sidewalk in front of you, cheeks burning.

“Seriously L/n, talk about a horrible throw. Room for improvement,” he jokes with a comforting smile, saving you from yourself.

“Good game by the way,” you add, grateful for the way he was letting you off.

“Thanks,” he looks at you, shoving his hands in his pocket. You turn to look at him too, and after a few moments laughter is taking you both apart. Nothing funny was said. Neither of you knew why you were laughing. And yet it felt natural, not an ounce of awkwardness in the air.

As your whole group walks into the building, people begin to peel off, splitting towards staircases and off elevator stops.

“I’m fucking beat,” yawns Topper, as you and all your flatmates file into your hall.

“I’m gonna sleep like a baby tonight,” Millie yawns in agreement. One by one everyone files off into their rooms. You open your door, backing into yours, Rafe across the hall from you backing into his. Laughter tugs at both your faces once again, as you let your doors close. You manage to change into your sweats and brush your teeth before you hear the light rap on your door. Rafe enters, in a t-shirt and gray sweatpants, your weakness. But you feel comfortable being alone with him now. The Rafe jitters had finally began to subside.

“Alright L/n, episode 4, you ready for this?” he asks, plopping down in his spot next to you.

“Oh I’m very ready,” you reply, sitting up to reach for your laptop which was resting by your feet. As you lean back, you find yourself in Rafe’s arm. He had extended it out before you sat back, effortlessly catching you against him. His hand rests casually on your arm, and you gulp, pressing play. You pray he can’t feel the way your heartbeat quickens and your body flushes. So much for those jitters being gone.

The episode plays, you and Rafe making comments here and there before your chatter eventually dies down, leaving just the sound of the show to fill the room. You can feel Rafe’s body lean further and further down, becoming heavier and breathing slower. You very slowly turn to check, and sure enough he’s fast asleep. You sigh, and shut your laptop, careful not to stir him. You could easily shake him awake, tell him to go to his bed, but for some reason you don’t. You don’t mind him here. In fact, you almost prefer it, his body heat keeping you warm. He had already slept over once before and it clearly hadn’t been a big deal, so what was the harm in letting it happen again? You’re just friends after all, you remind yourself, not sure who you’re trying to convince. And so, the two friends fall asleep in the same bed again.

---

🏷: @hopebaker @pogueslandia @mardema

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine

112 notes · View notes