#I already don't wann
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myth0mani-art · 19 days ago
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Okay last day before I'm 20, I think I should do something but I'll probably end up sitting on my bed all day being the loner I am
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femininelookingmale · 2 years ago
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thank you so much @angelinsects for tagging me!! x-) i hope you're having a beautiful time
so. a song for each letter of my url.
F francesca - hozier
E enamorado tuyo - cuarteto de nos
M my nocturnal serenade - yohio
I i wish i was a riot grrrl - destructo disk
N not allowed - tv girl
I i threw glass at my friend's eyes and now i'm on probation - destroy boys
N new magic wand - tyler the creator
E el triste - josé josé
L labour - paris paloma
O o quizás simplemente le regale una rosa - leonardo favio
O on guard - le tigre
K kosmoskost - ifa wartburg
I i bet on losing dogs - mitski
N nice nice - dazey and the scouts
G gender is boring - she/her/hers
M marsha, thankk you for the dialectics, but i need you to leave - will wood
A alrighty aphrodite - peach pit
L le monarque des indes - pierre lapointe
E equal sign - j-hope (warning: flashing colors)
tagging @normal-looking-male @imglowinginthedarkness @discogothic @kittydelight @toasty-self-shipping @sfiltron and whoever would like to share some beautiful songs with us <3
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mind-intheclouds342 · 6 months ago
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Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly
Previous - Part 14 - Next
"Today you look much better."
You mentioned Curly smiling at you and resting your forehead against his.
"You've stopped smelling like a cremated corpse, it must feel so good to have clean bandages and your wounds disinfected."
You closed your eyes with a smile, enjoying being close to him without having to move away because of the overwhelming stench he used to emit.
Curly: "...I...wa...wann..."
You suddenly opened your eyes upon hearing the sound of a voice, leaned back, and fell backward to the ground with the chair and all.
"No! Don't you dare! Don't do that again! That scared me!"
You stood up and quickly adjusted the chair to sit back down in front of him.
You opened his jaw to see his tongue and pressed it with your thumb to be able to see his throat.
"Nu-uh, your throat is still damaged, don't talk, I don't care."
He let out a huff when you said that.
"Did you just huff at me??? In these conditions, are you giving me an attitude??"
For some reason, it seemed like he was enjoying your reaction.
"Oh, you like seeing me angry now?? What are you trying to do?" 
You raised your hands when you asked that question, and he kept staring at your left hand, letting out a murmur upon noticing the rings on it.
"Mm? This? I found it when I tried to see if anything could be useful from the cockpit..."
You looked at your hand, seeing the rings, you had almost completely forgotten that you had his with you.
You took it out slowly and showed it to him up close.
"Now I'm not so angry about the fortune you spent on these rings, if they withstood an explosion they are of very good quality."
You smiled at him, lovingly observing the ring, remembering the day he proposed to you and knowing that from that moment your life would change forever.
"Who would have thought we would end up like this? Mm? I can say it, when I was little I never imagined I would go to space. Although i did dream of a handsome husband"
You could notice a hint of sadness in the sigh he gave, quite aware of his current state and that he would never be the same man as before.
"Do you still have doubts? If I will still be by your side when we return home?" 
His gaze turned to you when you mentioned that, it wasn't a lie, he had been thinking about that possibility.
"Do you think the only thing that made me fall in love with you was your pretty little face? Can't you believe that I can still love you seeing you like this?"
You smiled, resting your forehead against his again, looking directly into his eye.
"I didn't believe it either, when you met me, I was a mess, a drug addict, disheveled, stinky, and with a terrible attitude, I have to admit it... But that didn't stop you from falling in love with me, did it?" 
He rolled his eye to try to avoid your gaze.
You put his ring back on your ring finger next to yours.
"The day he wants to leave you, I'll take off this ring, okay? Until then, I don't want you to worry." 
You kissed his forehead, ready to go get the rations for the day.
Curly: "...I... I- I'm sho-.rry..."
"What did I just tell you a few minutes ago?? Nothing to talk about." 
You crossed your arms and shook your head.
Curly: "...I lo..ve you..."
Hearing those words again after so long, your cheeks began to burn, you turned your face because you didn't want him to see you with tears in your eyes, about to cry from joy.
"Me too! Don't forget it!"
You mentioned loudly, quickly leaving that room, took a deep breath, and leaned against the wall, unable to believe you were reacting the same way as when he first told you.
Daisuke: "Captain, are you okay?"
"Ah-! Daisuke, don't just show up out of nowhere! What do you need?"
Daisuke: "Do you want to swap my meat noodles for your cheese ones?"
He smiled, showing you the package of his food; it seemed that Swansea had gotten ahead and had already distributed the rations.
"Sure, sure... Go change it."
Daisuke: "Thank you! You're the best!"
You sighed, resting your head against the wall.
"Just a little more... I'm already getting sick of that food... I need to cook something real..."
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doyoulikethissong-poll · 3 months ago
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Kelis - Milkshake 2003
"Milkshake" is a song by American singer-songwriter and chef Kelis, released as the lead single from her third studio album, Tasty (2003). It was written and produced by Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo, known collectively as the Neptunes, and was created when Tasty was chosen as the album's title. When making the song, Kelis "knew right away that it was a really good song", and she wanted it to be the album's first single.
"Milkshake" received critical acclaim upon its release, both for its production as well as Kelis' vocal performance. It peaked at number three on the US Billboard Hot 100 in December 2003, becoming Kelis' highest-charting single to date. Elsewhere, the single topped the charts in Ireland and peaked inside the top 10 of the charts in Australia, Denmark, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Sweden, and the UK. It was nominated for a Grammy Award for Best Urban/Alternative Performance in 2004. In 2023, Kelis released "Milkshake 20" (Alex Wann Remix), which she co-produced.
The Observer named the song the best single of 2004. On Pitchfork's list of the top 50 singles of 2003, the song got listed at number eight. In 2005, Pitchfork made a list of the top 100 singles of 2000–2004, listing "Milkshake" at number 21. Stylus Magazine named the song the 13th-best single of 2000–2005. In September 2011, VH1 ranked the song at number 61 on its list of the 100 Greatest Songs of the '00s. In October 2011, NME placed it at number 136 on its list 150 Best Tracks of the Past 15 Years.
"Milkshake" received a total of 64,9% yes votes! Previous Kelis polls: #175 "Trick Me".
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daisymbin · 6 months ago
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Hi!!
Can you please write a drabble for jeonghan using the fluff prompts #23 and #39?
hi love!! I'm sorry again, my mistake 😓 if I had checked my ask earlier that I could ask which prompt so you don't have to wait so long 😢 hopefully this slightly longer fic makes up for it!!!! thank you for waiting 😽🤍
request your own: full prompt list!
check out my masterlist! // hannie's m.list
fluff prompt #23: "you stayed up all night taking care of me?" +
fluff prompt #39: "you talk about me in your sleep, you know?"
jeonghan woke up to the soft hum of sunlight filtering through his blinds and the faint rustle of movement nearby. his head throbbed, his mouth felt like cotton, and the events of the previous night were a blur. blinking against the bright light, he groaned and shifted slightly, immediately regretting the motion as nausea crept in.
“you’re awake,” a familiar voice said, cutting through the fog in his brain.
he turned his head toward you, sitting in his desk chair with your arms crossed, looking both relieved and annoyed. your hair was slightly disheveled, and your tired eyes met his.
“morning,” he croaked, his voice hoarse. “what happened?”
you raised a brow, clearly unimpressed. “you got drunk. like, really drunk. i had to bring you home because you kept whining that you felt sick.”
he winced, his memory offering little more than flashes of the night. “oh.”
you stood up, walking over to his bedside with a glass of water and some painkillers. “and then you wouldn’t stop complaining, so i stayed up to make sure you didn’t choke on your own stupidity.”
“you stayed up all night taking care of me?” he asked, his voice quieter now, laced with something he wasn’t sure he wanted to unpack.
“someone had to,” you replied, handing him the glass. your tone was matter-of-fact, but the way your eyes lingered on him, soft and full of concern, made his chest feel strange.
he sipped the water, trying to ignore the way his stomach flipped. “did i… do anything embarrassing?”
you leaned back against the wall, crossing your arms with a smirk. “oh, plenty. but my favorite part was when you started talking in your sleep.”
jeonghan froze, his hand hovering mid-air. “what?”
you raised an eyebrow. “yeah, you talk about me in your sleep, you know?”
his heart skipped a beat. “what did i say?”
your smirk widened. “you don’t remember?”
“obviously not!” he shot back, feeling his face heat up.
you tilted your head, pretending to think. “hmm… let’s see. you said my name a lot, for one. i lost count after the fifth time.”
his stomach flipped. “just your name?”
you leaned forward, your grin turning teasing. “oh, no. you said other things, too.”
jeonghan groaned, covering his face with his hands. “what kind of things?"
last night
you had just managed to guide jeonghan into his bed, his arm slung heavily over your shoulders as he half-stumbled, half-leaned on you. “come on, jeonghan. you’re almost there,” you huffed, trying to keep him upright.
“you’re so strong,” he mumbled, his words slurring. “like… really strong. you could probably carry me, huh?”
“i’m already carrying most of your weight,” you muttered under your breath, ignoring the way his words made your cheeks warm.
as soon as his head hit the pillow, jeonghan let out a long sigh. you thought he’d drift off immediately, but instead, he mumbled, “you’re so nice to me. always so nice.”
you froze, hovering by the edge of his bed.
“you smell nice, too,” he added, his voice muffled by the pillow. “like… flowers or something. but not too strong. it’s just… perfect.”
your heart skipped a beat, and you slowly lowered yourself into the desk chair, unsure if he was fully asleep or just delirious.
“wish i could tell you,” he mumbled, his voice so soft you almost missed it. “wish i could say how much i…” he trailed off, his breathing evening out as he falls asleep.
you thought he was done for the night, but then, an hour later, he added, “want to take you out sometime. somewhere nice. you deserve that. wanna take angel out on date.”
angel? but that's his nickname for you...
your heart raced and ached at the vulnerability in his voice. you sat there in silence, watching his peaceful face, the weight of his words settling over you.
“you’re too good for me,” he whispered, the words barely audible. “but i’m selfish. i want you to be mine.”
[-]
“so,” jeonghan said now, dragging you back to the present, “what exactly did i say?”
you shrugged, playing it cool despite the way your heart raced. “oh, just that you think i’m nice and smell like flowers.”
he blinked, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to process your words. “i said that?”
“mmhm,” you hummed, biting back a grin.
“and…?” he prompted, clearly fishing for more.
“and you said you want to take me out sometime,” you added, your voice casual but your cheeks warm. "on a date." you added softly.
jeonghan stared at you, his expression unreadable. then, slowly, a smirk tugged at his lips. “sounds like me.”
you rolled your eyes, pretending to be annoyed, but your heart betrayed you, hammering in your chest.
he shifted closer, resting his chin on his palm, his grin playful but his voice quieter. “so, how about it? i’m free this weekend. dinner, your pick. i owe you for, you know, saving my life or whatever.”
“is this how you ask someone out?” you teased, raising an eyebrow.
“well, it’s not every day i find out i confessed in my sleep,” he countered, a nervous laugh slipping through. “but… you’d say yes, right?”
you faltered, his unusually earnest tone catching you off guard. “you’re lucky you’re cute,” you muttered, avoiding his gaze.
jeonghan’s laugh was immediate, light and relieved. “i’ll take that as a yes.”
“don’t make me regret it,” you warned, but the smile tugging at your lips betrayed your words.
“trust me, you won’t,” he said, his confidence returning. “and for the record, i’d totally carry you to bed if the roles were reversed. just saying.”
“jeonghan!”
he grinned, leaning back against the pillows with a smug expression. if his heart was racing, well, that was for him to deal with later.
his signature smirk firmly in place. "what’s wrong? cat got your tongue, or are you just mesmerized by me again?" he teased, his voice low and honeyed as he moved closer. the confidence he exuded was disarming, but you caught the flicker of something softer in his eyes — a nervousness he couldn’t quite hide.
you rolled your eyes, though your pulse quickened as he closed the distance. "you wish," you muttered, but your breath hitched when his hand brushed against your cheek, his fingers ghosting over your skin.
“oh, i know,” jeonghan said, his grin widening. yet, as he cupped your face more firmly, his thumb brushing the corner of your mouth, his playful facade cracked. his throat bobbed in a swallow, and you noticed the way his eyes darted between your lips and your gaze, like he was trying to decide if he was allowed to take this leap.
“you’re awfully quiet now,” he murmured, though his voice lacked its usual bravado. “nervous?”
“are you?” you shot back, emboldened by the faint tremor in his hand.
“terrified,” he admitted, almost inaudibly, before he leaned in.
the first press of his lips against yours was tentative, a soft, testing thing that quickly gave way to something hungrier when you didn’t pull back. his hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer as his confidence returned in the way he kissed you—playful, teasing, with the occasional nip at your bottom lip that left you breathless.
you fisted the fabric of his shirt, grounding yourself as the heat between you grew. his smirk returned when he pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “i told you, you can’t resist me.” but his pink cheeks betrayed him, revealing just how badly he’d wanted this.
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deja-yu · 2 years ago
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Am I your favourite? Pt 2 - Choi San
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Genre: angst/fluff
Part 1
Warning: a lil angsty as San does not remember last night. Jealous San and instigator Yunho.
Note: I rewrote this a couple of times, I didn't expect part 1 to get so much love. I felt like I had to deliver something good and I got stressed about it lmao. I hope it will suffice &lt;3
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After the commotion the boys settled again and the teasing also died down fairly quick, you blame the alcohol in everyone's system. San was seemingly unfazed and had continued to peacefully nap on your thighs. 
You were staying the weekend in a rented house with the others. And eventually the night became too dark and collectively you decided to call it quits. 
You could feel eyes on you as you tried to wake San. Some gentle rocking and calling of his name did the trick. As soon his eyes opened they meet yours, a smile immediately found its place on his face. "Go to bed Sannie" you whisper softly which causes the smile to turn into a pout, "but I am comfy" he mumbles making you roll your eyes. "I want to go to bed San, please" he reluctantly gets up from your lap.  San sees everyone looking at you two before they suddenly try to look occupied with other things. He gives you a questioning look but you just laugh and shrug. 
Seemingly still drunk San stumbles when he gets up, you get up to help him but your legs also protest. Having fallen asleep as a result of San lying on them for over an hour. Yunho is quick to steady you and surprise you with his sudden appearance. "You still want to share a room with me?" he asks in a teasing tone. Which doesn't get missed by you but for San the teasing went right past him and jealousy once again blossomed in his chest. "Noo.. I wanne cuddle y/n" "ohhh since you're a favourite you think you can just steal her away from me?" Yunho quips back at San. Slowly blinking the latter seems confused "I am you favourite?" He questions with a blush. "You don't remember?" he tilts his head in question and shakes his head no. 
A little pang of hurt shoots through your heart. Maybe you took his confession a little too serious, he was drunk after all. But you can't help feeling hurt about how he doesn't remember. It was just a peck but you've been crushing on San for a while. Probably since Yunho introduced you to his friends.
You turn to Yunho wanting nothing more than to leave the situation. You watch Yunho's eyes flicker to you with surprise at San’s statement, concern flashes before he looks back at the reason for your hurt. "Sober up and try to remember" is all he says before taking your hand and tugging you along. You can hear Wooyoung calling San a dumbass to which he just sounds even more confused but the argument quickly moves out of earshot and you don't look back.
There were two single beds in the room you and Yunho share. Which meant you could sleep separately without an issue. Because sharing a single bed with Yunho hasn't been a thing since his growth spurt. After which the two of you couldn't comfortably sleep in his lightning mcqueen bed anymore. Yunho refuses to sleep without talking first, struggling to keep his eyes open as he looks at you from the other bed. It has been quiet for a while. "He was just clingy drunk" you mumble softly after his eyes were closed for a while, half expecting him to already be asleep. But his chest rumbles before he answers "Still.. I get that you're hurt. But he probably wouldn't have done it if he didn't like you" you snort "probably" Yunho sighs at your sarcasm "You know what I mean. Like drunk words are sober thoughts or something?" humming as a response you wonder how you will face San tomorrow. Maybe you could get out the house before breakfast and just go home early. But you doubt that would go unnoticed. Seonghwa might call 911 for possible abduction. 
It's a comfortable silence between you and Yunho. His presence helps calm you down enough for the tiredness to creep back into your body. Soon you hear little snores coming from his bed, indicating he was off to dreamland. You got up and turned off the lights before getting back in bed. 
Sunlight peeking through the curtains wakes you, Yunho is still sleeping peacefully in the other bed. The grumble of your stomach is enough for you get up and go to the kitchen. You find Seonghwa on one of the bar stools, his face lightens up at your arrival. "Did you sleep well?" shrugging you complain you're still tired which makes him chuckle. "Me too. I wasn't too sure if I should make breakfast already since nobody else was up" he says as you open the fridge. "Well, some did look pretty messed up last night so you might be waiting a long time. We can make pancakes and the rest can use the batter to make their own if they don’t show up in the meantime?" easily agreeing to your plan, Seonghwa gets up to help you in the kitchen. 
Not long after you both turn your head to the sound of footsteps. San is standing at the bar, face puffy with sleep and a content smile on his face, growing in size when he spots you. Heat rushes to your cheeks making you quickly turn back to the stove. He greets both of you and he can barely hear the mumble of a reply you let out. He blames your coldness on your possible hangover. He sits at the bar and questions what you two are making, "Pancakes" you murmur trying to grasp together strands of courage. If he didn't remember, was it fair to make a big deal out of it? Should you pretend it didn't happen so it doesn't become awkward? In your worries you didn't hear the other boys arriving. Most of them crash on the couch but Yunho's eyes go from your slumped shoulder to San. Nobody sees the mischievous spark ignite in his eyes. San is a Jealous man, everyone knows that.
Yunho walks over and wraps an arm around you, head coming to rest on your shoulder. Stiffening under the touch you only relax when the sound of Yunho's voice informs you it is him. "Ohhh pancakes?" 
Seonghwa turns around to prepare plates on the bar which means he is the only one who can see San. Jaw clenching in clear annoyance at the interaction between you and the taller man. Giggles coming from you as said man steals a pancake from the stack you were making. Yunho is getting the rise out of San he wanted. "Get a room" San mumbles quietly, but Yunho hears. Of course he did, he was waiting for it. Letting go of you to turn to the accuser with a challenging grin. San opens his mouth but words don't come out, unsure of what to say he instead looks away in annoyance. 
Once everyone has their plate, the ones whose head is still pounding took their plate back to their rooms. It leaves you, Seonghwa, Yunho, San, and now also Mingi scattered around the kitchen. San still sitting at the bar with Mingi next to him. Hwa was shifting uncomfortably at the tension between San and Yunho on the far side of the kitchen. And Yunho was standing right next to you, continuing to hog your attention. “Why are you looking so angry” Mingi asks, a little clueless to the situation. But when his eyes follow San’s stare he snorts. “Why are you jealous, didn’t you guys establish your relationship last nigh?” Suddenly all eyes are on Mingi who raises his eyebrows in innocence. Hwa is trying to signal him to shut up, your face is getting hotter by the minute, and Yunho is just grinning. San is the first to speak “What do you mean?” it has a sharpness to it, sounding more of a demand. “We… well… ju.. just like you made a big deal of those two last night…” His eyes shift from San to Yunho’s and he hesitates for a moment. “And?” San prods. “You!! You kissed them last night” Mingi says in defence, feeling San’s bad mood hang heavy in the air. Seongwha sighs heavily which makes Mingi continue to ramble on as a means to defend himself.  Yunho laughs and tries to get him to stop talking but for you and San it’s like the world stops, his eyes found yours after Mingi spilled about the kiss. “I kissed you?” he questions you, and it was barely a whisper, but you’re so zoned in on each other that you hear and nod. In response San shoots up from his chair, face reddening, mouth opening and closing as he tries to find the words. His abrupt movement made the other 3 shift focus back on San. “Let’s leave you guys to have a talk” Seongwha says and Yunho agrees who in turn drags along a complaining and still hungry Mingi.  
You shuffle uncomfortably under San’s gaze. “I…I am sorry?” he ends up saying, as he steps closer before taking a step back again. San always has this aura of confidence around him, at times the kind that makes you roll your eyes as he sends a wink your way. Most times though it was more subtle, no matter what room he walked into he looked like he belonged. Now however he looks like a kicked puppy, fidgeting on the spot unsure of what to do or say. “Please… don’t say that” You manage to croak out. “Let’s just move on, you were drunk and it was just a peck” looking up from the floor to him he manages to look even more hurt than before you opened your mouth. “I… don’t. I just…” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes to gather his thoughts. “Even if it was just a peck. I did it without your permission, I am sorry. But… I don’t want to move on like it didn’t happen. Make me remember?” He asks while taking one of your hands in his with some hesitation, but as you don’t pull away from his touch, he grows a bit more confident again. “Tell me” he asks again and your breath hitches as he leans ever so close to your face. You look away from him before replaying the scene from last night. “I let you lay on my lap since you were… pretty out of it.  I thought you were already asleep and talked with Yunho when you suddenly popped up right in my face” It’s not much more than a mumble and when San grabs your chin to make you look at him you wish you could sink through the floor and disappear. “You… you asked me if you were my favourite, when I said yes you suddenly kissed me” His eyebrows raise in surprise “Then you unceremoniously passed out again on my lap” you say your heart is attempting to beat out your chest. San eyes crinkle as he smiles, it confuses you causing you to pout. “I remember… Now I have one last question, and this time I will give you time to think before you answer” eye contact so intense you squirm from it. “Am I your favourite?” the hand holding your chin shifts to cup your cheek, and his gaze is full of love. You know he is asking for permission with this question so you respond with a small nod. “Say it baby” he says as he breathes out a chuckle. “Yes, you’re my favourite” and his lips find yours, your eyes flutter shut and butterflies spring to life in your stomach. It’s a contrast to the kiss from last night, it’s not quick and it has a whole other level of tenderness to it. He takes another step closer and you melt into his chest, hand wrapping around his neck as he deepens the kiss with a swipe over your bottom lip with his tongue. His other hand is wrapped around your frame attempting to pull you impossibly closer.
“Oh my god, I think it’s time for you guys to get a room” Yunho says with a laugh. Making you break apart from San to face your friend with red cheeks. But San doesn’t look away from you, his hand brushing over your cheek. “You wanna go out with me” You laugh as he pulls your attention back to him with his words. “Thought that was clear” “mhhmm, I think you need to convince me a little more” He replies cheekily before reconnecting his lips with yours. Easily making you forget about anyone else in the house.
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stylesispunk · 1 year ago
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"The not so invisible string" | part 2
Not outbreak! Joel Miller x f! Reader
previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist
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summary: you and Joel were made right for each other at the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?
chapter summary: You and Joel had a "lunch" together and some things were said, and the past between you both is meeting the present.
word count: 5k.
warnings: angst, implications of cheating (emotional). I probably made some grammar mistakes because I write things fast. Not proofreading, ups. Italics are flashbacks <3
a/n: Chapter two is here!! Thank you so much for your nice comments and appreciation for the previous chapter, I didn't think it would be good enough but thanks for appreciating. This one is less intense than the first one, but we still have a story to develop. I'm on my summer break from work, so I hope to have time to keep writing. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading 💌 p.s if you wann be taglisted, please I'm so shy so I feel asshamed of tagging people if you don't tell me 😳 and if I forgot someone, sorry 😭
dividers by @/saradika
"Are you waiting to see her again?" Sarah asked when Joel was parking outside school before driving to his job.
"Who?" He asked, trying to dismiss the nagging feeling settled in his stomach at the minimum possibility of seeing you again.
"Tara's mom?" She said, leaning toward his dad, "What's the issue with her, by the way? Was she your ex or something?”
"No,” he said immediately.
“So why did you get so nervous?"
"She is the love of my life," he confessed, not turning his face to Sarah in shame of being seen in such a vulnerable state.
When you were a parent, you never showed yourself vulnerable in front of your children; you never allowed them to see that part of you that’s beneath what they knew. But when they grow up, they understand you would never be a hero, but a human living life for the first time too.
Sarah's eyes widened at Joel's unexpected confession. The revelation hung in the air, leaving a palpable tension inside the car.
"The love of your life?" Sarah echoed, her voice a mix of surprise and curiosity. "But you never mentioned her before."
Joel sighed, his eyes fixed on the steering wheel as if it held the answers to a long-buried history. "It's complicated," he finally admitted. "We were each other's first love, but things didn't work out. We went our separate ways, and I thought I had moved on."
"But seeing her again..." he continued, his voice laced with a hint of vulnerability. "I never expected her to be here again."
Sarah studied Joel's profile, recognizing the struggle in his eyes. "And what about Tara's mom? Does she feel the same way?"
"I don't know," Joel confessed, a heaviness settling in his chest. "It's been thirteen years, and a lot has changed. She has a daughter now, and I have my own life."
Sarah reached out, placing a comforting hand on her dad’s shoulder. "Well, life is surprising," she said. "Maybe it's a chance for both of you to find closure, or maybe even something more. Who knows?"
Joel nodded, the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the future swirling around him.
“Perhaps” He said, “Okay, now go to class before you get late.” He hurried Sarah, but before she closed the door, a bolt of thought invaded his mind before he could even think.
“Can I ask you for a favor?”
She nodded.
“Ask Tara for her mother’s number, please.”
Sarah grinned, nodding her head and blowing a kiss to his father.
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The days had passed, and life had settled into a new routine for you, unemployed and doing house chores, feeling just as the same twenty-two-year-old you once were.
But that wasn’t your only thought in the back of your mind. Since the day you had seen Joel, you hadn’t been able to take him off your mind, and as if it weren’t already difficult, Tara and Sarah were slowly becoming best friends, just as you and Joel were someday back when you had anything to lose.
For Joel, things weren’t different. There wasn’t a second of the day since he had seen you that he hadn’t thought about you. About how gorgeous you still looked and how much he had missed you for the past years. Despite the investable passing of time, the past seemed to cast a long shadow over the present; he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that had resurfaced since he saw you.
Late one night, he found himself staring at his phone. Since Sarah got your number from Tara, he has been doing the same, contemplating whether to send a message. The words formed in his mind, but typing them out was a whole different thing for him. Trapped between the enormous desire to know about you or to let go of the best thing that had ever happened to him.
But before he could even formulate the thought, he pressed send.
Unknown number
"Hi, it’s me, Joel"
Your phone vibrated on your side of the bed.
"Honey?" Dwight called out,
“Yes?" you asked from the bathroom.
“Why is a Joel messaging you at this hour?”
You paused, the sensation of cold cream on your fingertips suddenly forgotten. The name "Joel" seemed too foreign on Dwight's lips; you even felt guilty.
"It's probably just something about Tara," you replied, forcing nonchalance into your tone. But the unease crept into your voice, betraying the facade.
Dwight's curiosity lingered in the room as you picked up your phone. The screen illuminated with a new message, and the familiar ache resurfaced in your heart.
Unknown number
Sorry for sending this at this time, but I've been thinking a lot about you since our unexpected meeting, and I was wondering if we could talk. No pressure, just a conversation.
You felt a mix of emotions—surprise, apprehension, and a tinge of curiosity. The late-night timing added an unexpected layer of intensity to the message.
"Honey, is everything okay?" Dwight's voice carried a note of concern.
"Yeah, it's probably about Tara or something. I'll go better call him,” you replied, forcing a smile. But deep down, you knew that hearing his voice through a phone would do enough damage to you.
“Hello sunshine! How it’s my best girl doing?” he exclaimed, his sleepy voice from this time in the morning melted you.
“I’m better now that you called”
“Remember I’m always just a call away from you, doe”
The hallway felt colder as you left the room, and the phone gripped tightly in your hand. Your heart raced against your chest, its rhythm echoing the uncertainty of the moment. As you pressed the button to call Joel, each second felt like an eternity.
The phone rang once, twice, and on the third ring, Joel's voice filled the air. "Hello?"
"How did you get my number?” you asked
"I... "I... uh, well," Joel stammered on the other end of the line, a hint of unease in his voice. "Sarah got it from Tara.”
Your mind raced with a mix of emotions—surprise, frustration, and a touch of understanding due to your daughters’ becoming friends.
"You could have asked," you replied, the tension evident in your voice. "But fine, what did you want to talk about?"
There was a pause, and you could almost hear Joel gathering his thoughts on the other end. "I've been thinking a lot about the past, about us," he admitted. "I never got the chance to properly apologize for how things ended. I just want to talk, to understand, and maybe find closure."
Closure. The word hung in the air, heavy with the weight of the years gone by.
You didn’t want to have closure with him; you didn’t want to forget.
"Joel, it's been thirteen years," you said, a mix of weariness and frustration coloring your words. "We've both moved on. What's the point of digging up the past now?"
"I know, and I respect that," Joel responded, his tone earnest. "But I've carried the weight of what happened between us for a long time. Maybe talking about it will help both of us. Besides Sarah and Tara, we could talk about them."
You sighed, the complexity of the situation settling around you. "Fine, let's meet. But just this once. I have a life, Joel, and I can't afford to let the past disrupt it."
"Thank you," Joel said, a note of gratitude in his voice. "I appreciate this, truly. Let's find a time.
"Tomorrow,” you said, interrupting his rambling.
Tomorrow? It seemed like too soon you were conflicted between the desire to see him again and the guilt of not being able to erase that part of your life.
“Okay, tomorrow at lunch” he spoke after what it seemed like minutes “I’ll send you the address.”
“Okay.” You whispered, “Have a goodnight, Joel”
“Good night, doe” he replied, before realizing how he had called you, he ended the call leaving you with no chance to answer back.
You were speechless, and the hallway felt emptier than before. Nobody had called you “Doe” since you parted ways with Joel, as if the nickname was forbidden from the lips of any person who wasn’t him, carrying a reminder of a time when the two of you shared your own language.
“From now on I’m calling you, Doe”
“Why?” you asked, tilting your head
“Because you looked so innocent with those bright eyes of you and you remind me of Bambi but I don’t want to call you that”
“What’s wrong with Bambi?”
“Nothing” he replied, “We could actually be like Bambi and Thumper”
As you walked back into the bedroom, Dwight looked up from his book, sensing the turmoil in your expression. "Everything okay?"
You nodded, forcing a smile. "Yes, just Joel wants to meet tomorrow to talk."
Dwight raised an eyebrow, concern etched on his face. "Are you sure about this? You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. I can go."
"No, I know," you replied, sinking onto the bed. "But it’s nothing bad... I actually know Joel from before. "You confessed without looking at Dwight.”
Dwight's expression softened as he processed your confession. "Before we met?"
You nodded, finally meeting his gaze. "Yeah, Joel and I have history. We were close—really close. We were actually best friends,” you said, omitting the “he is the love of my life” part.
Understanding flickered in Dwight's eyes, and he reached out, gently cupping your face. "You don't have to go through with this if it makes you uncomfortable. I trust you, and I trust whatever decision you make."
A mix of gratitude and guilt welled up within you. "I appreciate that, Dwight.”
He nodded, offering a supportive smile. "I'll be here for you, no matter what."
After that, Dwight closed his book and said goodnight to you, falling asleep a few minutes later. It seemed odd for you, but you couldn’t help but feel weird because of his attitude, as if he didn’t care about you meeting with another guy.
Dwight's seemingly indifferent response to your revelation about Joel left you feeling conflicted. Was it a sign of trust and confidence in your commitment to the present, or was there an undercurrent of something else?
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As you drove to the restaurant Joel had suggested, your mind buzzed with memories of your shared past. The streets seemed to echo with the laughter and conversations of your younger selves. Navigating through familiar lanes, you couldn't escape the gravitational pull of nostalgia.
The restaurant's entrance loomed ahead, and you found yourself hesitating. The realization struck—this wasn't just a casual meeting; it was a reunion with someone who had once been the center of your world.
Once you stepped inside the restaurant Joel told you about, you were faced with reality. You were a married woman, going to have lunch not with another man who was your ex-boyfriend but with the love of your life. Your heart was beating so hard against your ribcage that you almost felt how your bones crashed at the impact.
You stopped at the entrance; your face was heating up. You wanted to leave, but before you could even make up your mind, those brown eyes found you, and you couldn't turn away.
Breathe in, breathe out.
One step, then another step.
It seemed like hours, but there you were, in front of the boy with brown eyes who put a bandage on your knee when you fell on the pavement at 5 years old. You were there in front of the teenager who kissed you at seventeen on a random night after doing homework in your bedroom.
You had decided to conquer the world—or at least the little corner of it that belonged to your shared imagination. As you ran through the streets, giggles and laughter echoing, it happened—the inevitable collision with the ground. Your knees met the pavement, and the sting of scraped skin sent tears streaming down your cheeks.
That's when Joel appeared, like a knight in a tiny superhero cape. His mom, hearing the commotion, had rushed him outside to play. In his hand, he held a box of colorful, cartoon-themed band-aids. With the unwavering confidence of a five-year-old, he approached you.
"Don't cry, okay? I've got something to fix you up," Joel declared, his eyes wide with sincerity.
As he carefully placed a band-aid on your scraped knee, something shifted. It was more than just a simple act of putting on a band-aid; it was the beginning of a connection that would thread through the fabric of your lives for years to come.
"See, all is better!" Joel announced, grinning proudly as if he had just mended the universe. “I’m Joel,” he said happily. “What’s your name?”
You were surprised and speechless; you felt enamored by the kid in front of you, but in your brain, the boy was still gross.
Joel's expression mirrored a mix of surprise and recognition. For a moment, the world seemed to pause as you both stood there, caught in the gravity of your intertwined past.
But it seemed to be the night you were back in the house he had bought with the help of his parents, where you were supposed to grow old together. It looked like that night you came back, hoping to begin again.
But it wasn't, and time didn't stop because two lovers couldn't survive in the currents of the sea.
"Hi, doe," he greeted you, standing up from his seat.
Doe.
"Joel," you greeted back, gracing a small smile.
"Lovie" is forbidden now.
"Please, take a seat," he said, signaling at the seat in front of him.
You didn't know how to react, what to do, or what to say, so you sat on the chair, trying to ease your heart's beating.
Joel's gaze never left your form; instead, it traveled down your figure, but the golden band on your finger stopped his curious gaze, and somehow he felt the urge to cry.
He had always pictured the shiny rock he had bought for you back those years ago, wrapped around your finger.
If he had told you he spent those late nights doing extra work only to buy that piece of jewelry for you, perhaps you would be the one wearing it now, and in this situation, it would be one of those moments you share lunch between your work schedules.
But that shiny ring wrapped echoes of missed opportunities, and the haunting what-ifs painted a poignant portrait of a love that had slipped through his fingers.
You had been waiting, the anticipation mingling with worry as the hands of the clock inched forward. The scent of a hastily prepared dinner lingered in the air, growing colder with each passing minute. Joel's absence, became a palpable presence in the room.
As the door finally creaked open, revealing Joel's figure in the dim light, a wave of emotions crashed over you. The relief of his arrival was quickly overshadowed by the frustration that had been building within.
"Joel, do you have any idea what time it is?" you snapped, the words escaping before you could temper the edge in your voice.
Joel's expression shifted, caught off guard by the sudden confrontation. "I lost track of time at work. I'm sorry," he offered, attempting to diffuse the tension.
The apology, however, fell on ears numbed by the repetition of similar excuses. The words that followed, laden with accusations and frustrations, transformed the night into a battleground of emotions. The promises made in the glow of love were replaced by the harsh reality of unmet expectations.
"I can't do this, Joel. I can't keep waiting for you every night," you uttered your voice a mix of exhaustion and hurt.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair in a gesture of frustration. "I'm doing all of this for us. I'm working hard to provide for our future."
He had never sold the ring; he couldn't do it, thinking you would have come back to your home and built your story from the cracked fragments.
But he had made a mistake; however, that mistake that made you slip through his fingers brought his daughter to him, and he couldn’t find the strength to blame that night anymore.
And he thought that for you, it may have been the same; you have had a daughter too, and he knows that you love her more than life itself.
It was almost poetic; the mistakes that had separated you had, in a strange twist of fate, become the catalyst for a reunion. The bond between Joel and his daughter, the same bond you had with Tara, seemed to mirror the intricate threads that wove your lives together once again.
“So, how have you been?” he began asking.
“I thought you wanted to talk about our daughters,” you replied, deflecting the conversation to the common ground that had brought you back together.
Joel's eyes held a glimmer of nostalgia. "Come on, Doe, you know I care about you."
“Please don’t call me that,” you pleaded in almost a whisper.
Joel's expression shifted, a mix of realization and regret flickering across his features. "I'm sorry," he apologized, the sincerity in his voice evident. "I didn't mean to.”
“But I’ve been fine.” You finally said that, looking at him.
“I’m glad,” he said. “I can’t help but be surprised about you being Tara’s mother."
“Why? Is it too hard to believe I’m a mother?”
Joel's eyes softened, and he shook his head. "No, it's not that. It's just... it's surreal, you know? Seeing you as a mother, I mean, Tara is the same age as Sarah.”
“I got pregnant a few months after we..."
“We broke up,” he said, ending the sentence for you.
“Yes. I met Dwight one night, and I got pregnant.”
“You got over things soon, then,” he added in an undertone.
“What does that mean?” You asked in a defensive tone.
Joel sighed, a mixture of emotions playing across his face. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just... seeing you move on so quickly, it's
"No, tell me!” you exclaimed. “Do you think it was going to be easy for me to stay with you while you take care of another woman who was carrying your baby? 2
“Yet, you still had a daughter with another man.”
“So what? It was forbidden for me to hook up with a guy because I was fucking broke. Yes, I ended up pregnant, but...
“But what?” he inquired.
“It should have been you!" You cried, not knowing why you were acting so childish. "It was always supposed to be you." You repeated, calmer, "Since we were seventeen, I picture you being the father of my child."
Joel's gaze held a mix of surprise and remorse, realizing the depth of your emotions. "Doe, I never meant to hurt you. I had my own struggles, and I made mistakes."
"It's not about the mistakes, Joel," you said, wiping away a tear. "It's about the dreams we had and how they shattered. I loved you, and I imagined a future with you.
The silence that followed was suffocating, filled with the weight of unsaid words and the echoes of a shared past. The restaurant seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in a bubble of unresolved emotions.
“You know this is repeating again,” you chuckled between tears. “I’m here with you while I’m crying all over again. I had to leave my job and move back to the city that throws the past in my face, and I can’t find a  job."You covered your face with your hands.
Joel's eyes held a mixture of empathy and regret as he listened to your words. The ache of the past lingered in the air, a haunting reminder of the dreams that had slipped through your fingers.
"I wish I could change it all," Joel confessed, his voice heavy with the weight of shared regrets. "I never wanted you to leave, and seeing you hurt now... it hurts me too."
"But we can't go back," you replied with a resigned tone in your voice. "We're both different people now, living different lives. Maybe it's time to accept that some wounds don't fully heal."
“But we can be civil to each other, at least for our daughter’s sake,” he said, his voice soft.
You looked at him, your tear-streaked face reflecting a mixture of pain and acceptance. For a moment, you considered his words, acknowledging the shared responsibility of raising daughters who were connected by a blossoming friendship.
"Yeah," you agreed, a weary smile on your face. "We owe it to them to be civil, to show them that even when things don't work out, people can still be respectful and caring."
Joel nodded, a somber understanding passing between you. At that moment, you both recognized the importance of setting aside personal grievances for the sake of your daughters.
“You know? About the job, Tommy and I need an assistant.”
Your eyes widened at Joel's unexpected offer; the surprise was evident on your face. The mention of a job opportunity brought a glimmer of hope amid the emotional turbulence. It was as if a door, long thought closed, cracked open with the possibility of a new beginning.
"An assistant?" you repeated, the idea taking a moment to sink in. "Are you serious?"
Joel nodded, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, I am. We're expanding, and having you would be nice.”
"I appreciate the offer," you finally said, your voice cautious. "But-
“Just think about it; if you want the job, you can call me tomorrow or go to our office," Joel added, his tone sincere.
“You know what? He asked after your silence, leaning into the table, "You are still looking at me with the same eyes you did before.”
You blinked, caught off guard by his observation. There was a moment of vulnerability in his eyes—a flicker of the past that hadn't entirely dissipated. The connection between you, despite the years and the changes, lingered in the unspoken words that floated in the air.
"I don't know what you mean," you replied, attempting to mask the emotions that swirled within.
Joel chuckled softly, a nostalgic warmth in his gaze. "Doe, you always had this way of seeing through me. Even now, those eyes of yours... they haven't changed."
"I'm married."
“So what? Can’t you have friends? He asked.
“What about Sarah’s mother? Wouldn’t she get mad at you for being with your ex-girlfriend?"
“That’s funny because we’re not together,” he confessed with a weird smile on his face. “We never were together. After Sarah was born, she left us.”
The revelation hung in the air, a mix of surprise and confusion settling between you. The complexity of his past mirrored your own, and in that shared vulnerability, there was an unspoken understanding.
"I'm sorry to hear that," you offered, genuine sympathy in your voice.
"It's okay," Joel replied, a shrug accompanying his words. "She is married to another man, and she had a son, but I won because I had Sarah.”
“It’s fun how our daughters brought us together,” you said calmly.
"It's true," Joel acknowledged, a wistful smile playing on his lips. Our daughters seem to be the common thread weaving through our lives now."
You smiled, feeling butterflies dancing inside your stomach. The closeness to Joel felt foreign yet so familiar, and all the sentiments making your way through your heart were there again, suffocating you.
“I should get going,” you said, out of the blue.
“But you haven't eaten yet.”
“I know, but it’s getting late, and I have to go back to my house.”
"Okay,” he said, knowing you were making a lie to run away again, yet he didn’t pressure you.
"I appreciate you taking the time to talk," Joel said, breaking the silence. "And about the job, just think it over. No pressure. Whatever you decide, I'm here for you, even if it's just as a friend."
“Thank you, Joel,” you smiled.
And when you walked away to leave the restaurant, you stopped by the door just to have a second look at him, and when you turned, he was looking at you just as you knew he would.
You smiled at him, and he smiled back at you, mouthing a quiet "take care" in a language only your interlocked gazes understood.
And once you stepped outside, he was left in the restaurant, following you with his eyes.
You weren't the mother of his friend's daughter, but the girl in two ponytails was crying because of a scratch on her knee.
You were once his best friend,
You were once his lover, but that word was a small portion of what you were to him. No, you weren't his lover, but his twin flame that painted every single day of his life blue—the flame that never allowed him to dream about anybody else but you.
And you were the love of his life.
But Joel would do anything to get back on the first step, just to keep you close. He would rather have you back as his best friend than not have you anymore, even if his heart hurts in the process.
You were never his, but he felt the string pulling you together, just like the unbreakable chain you had hanging around your neck since he had memories of you, and he was going to do things right this time because he wasn't able to play pretend knowing there was no gap between you anymore.
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You drove around the city for an hour straight, navigating through the streets. Joel used to drive you around when trying to ease your mood after fights with your parents.
You had taken your love and packed it in a tiny little box to protect your heart from breaking.
And when you stopped outside your house, you cried. You sobbed like a little girl waking up from a nightmare. Joel still echoed in your mind, and you accepted that you would never be able to let that part of your life go, so you sobbed, and in that moment of vulnerability, you allowed yourself to grieve for what was lost.
“Pretty girls shouldn’t cry,” Joel said when you didn’t say your name after his introduction.
As the tears subsided, you took a deep breath, the weight in your chest easing slightly, and you stepped out of your car and walked to your house.
The key turned in the lock, the door creaked open, and you stepped into the coldness of your home. You thought about the offer Joel talked to you about, but accepting would be a suicide, and as tempting as the invitation seemed at the edge of your consciousness. However, spending more hours of the day seeing him seemed like being unfaithful to your husband.
As you walked into the living room, Tara glanced up from her phone, and you noticed the concern in her eyes.
"Hi, mom," Tara said, greeting you with a smile on her face.
"Hey, sweets," you said, smiling back at her.
"How was it with Joel?" she asked, setting aside her phone.
"It was... complicated," you admitted, sinking onto the couch beside her.
Tara placed a supportive hand on your shoulder. "Complicated how?"
"He offered me a job," you explained, "and it's not an easy decision to make."
"A job? Why?" Tara asked, her curiosity piqued.
"He thought it could be a good opportunity for us," you replied, choosing your words carefully.
Tara's eyes widened in realization.
“To rekindle our friendship,” you said, before she thought badly of you.
"Are you considering it?"
You sighed, grateful for your daughter's understanding. "I don't know, sweetheart. It's a lot to think about. It's not just a job; it's a connection to our past, to him."
Tara nodded thoughtfully. "Well, whatever you decide, I'm here for you. Just make sure it's what you want.”
“And what about your dad?” you asked
“He is not your boss."
Tara's straightforward response made you chuckle. "No, he's not. But he's my husband, and I should consider his feelings too."
Tara rolled her eyes. "Mom, you're allowed to have a life outside of being a wife.”
You admired Tara's maturity, appreciating the clarity in her perspective. "You've grown into a wise young woman, you know that?"
A hint of a smile touched Tara's lips. "Well, I've had a good teacher." She leaned in for a hug, and you embraced her, thankful for the bond you shared.
You found yourself alone with your thoughts. The house was quiet, and the decision about Joel's job offer lingered in the air like a delicate whisper. You knew it wasn't just about work; it was about revisiting a past that had shaped you in ways you couldn't deny.
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Later, after Tara had gone to do her homework, you found yourself alone with your thoughts. The house was quiet, still not in sight of Dwight coming home, and the decision about Joel's job offer lingered in the air like a delicate whisper. You knew it wasn't just about work; it was about revisiting a past that had shaped you in ways you couldn't deny.
Taking a deep breath, you picked up your phone and dialed Joel's number. The call rang for a few moments, and then his voice filled the silence. "Hello?"
"Hi, Joel. It's me," you said, the hesitation evident in your voice.
"Doe?" he responded, surprised.
"What did I say about calling me that?" you asked, with a tiny smile on your face.
“Right. I’m sorry”
"I've been thinking about your job offer. Can we meet tomorrow at your workplace to talk about it?"
A brief pause followed, and then Joel replied, "Of course, I'll text you the address.”
"Okay,” you said. “See you tomorrow, then.”
“See you tomorrow,” he replied. “Take care.”
The call ended, leaving you with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty about what was coming into your life again.
Towards the end of the conversation, Tommy glanced at Joel with a skeptical smile on his face. "Do we really need an assistant?" he inquired, unaware of his brother's hidden intentions.
"No," Joel replied, a smile playing on his lips. "But we're going to have one."
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tags 💌: @joeldjarin @missladym1981
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ixiot-ghostrebel · 1 year ago
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La~La~la 🦇 anon here with a sagau idea!
I don't play genshin with sound on, I always have my headphones on and sing to some songs while I play witch got me thinking.....
What if reader started singing viva la vida/once upon a december or another song really well and it just so happened that they had characters who are really musical like venti Barbra and xinyan in their party?
It would start out really sweet like them complimenting their creators voice and vibing along, then turn into them trying to write songs that are more like our modern ones!
Venti accidentally inventing an acoustic ballad or smthn (I used almost all my spoons for the first half..)
xinyan making an unholy amalgamation of classic and rock
And Barbra trying out new scales while writing songs about the creator who has the voice of an angel and godly pitch
For a good idea of what I'm thinking try listening to, Viva La Vida (orchestral version) from annapantsu!
(Feel free to add )
OHOHOHOHOHO, 🦇 ANON YOU ARE COOKING.
I need to start crawling out of my hole and listen to the song you're recommending to me ASAP—holy cow, I live under a mountain at this rate (I'm like Azhdaha bro this is NOT good 😭 Watch me run with this blindly bc I keep FORGETTING to listen to the recommendations 🦇 Anon is sending me—)
I won't add any other characters, since the selection you have is already good!
Venti, Barbara, and Xinyan Wanna Jam, Too!
(Warning: Might be OOC!)
Venti
WISP BOI SHOOKETH. HE IS WHOOPING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. MONDSTADT IS GOING CRAZY WITH THIS BARD IN TOWN GOING AROUND ABOUT THE CREATOR—
All jokes aside, he's over the moon to know that about your singing and your song preference. I feel like Venti would try to make his version of the songs you sing :D
By the time you meet in person, man's hands down worshipping your singing like his LIFE depends on it.
"Oh, Your Grace! Please sing your songs for all of Mondstadt to enjoy!" You can hear the literal excitement practically radiating in his voice.
He's very stoked and will sing along if you do decide to sing. Watch him brag this to the other archons (cough Zhongli and Ei mainly cough)
Barbara
The moment she heard the Almighty Creator sing, she thought both you and Barbatos blessed her. I mean, the winds, carrying your voice, to her?!
She's utterly shocked. She doesn't know if she's worthy of hearing your voice—But Barbara loves your voice! Of course the Almighty Creator would have the best voice of all of Teyvat!
She once caught herself humming the song you were singing to previously in the Church of Barbatos. Barbara was so embarrassed because the others managed to catch her humming that strange tune.
When you came around, Barbara was immediately the first one to ask you to sing—albeit a little timidly.
"Y-Your Grace! Uhm...Is it possible if you allow us Nuns at the Church to...hear you sing? Of course, you don't have to agree! We can sing the song ourselves if you wish!" Barbara just really wants to let you know that Mondstadt worships and adores you.
She would definitely make a choir version of the songs you sing. Be prepared to be invited and no, you're insisted to come. By everyone. :)
Xinyan
The first moment she heard you jam, she was loving it! Utterly loves the genre of music she hears from you!
From where she grew up (Liyue), there were some people that were very picky with their taste in music and usually called her rock'n roll a ruckus. To hear you sing something without a care in the world to a song that doesn't really fit to the usual old geezer's standards was utterly refreshing!
Sometimes, when she's given the honor of the stage, she would perform some performances to you and perform a rock'n roll version of the songs you sing. She has a musician's ears after all, she would remember how the riffs go and remix them to fit her style.
When you arrive, you better go out and listen! Xinyan would absolutely credit you and (if your up to it) sing alongside you!
"Haha, Your Grace! You're here—wanna hear my rock'n roll version of your songs?" She's good at remixing, it's almost unfair—
Yeah, none of them realize any of the songs you sang weren't your creation. Good luck explaining to them :)
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Ghost Rebel Side Notes: WHY AM I TAKE 3 ETERNITIES TO WRITE EVERYTHING SOBBING. WHERE IS MY MOTIVATION OFF RUNNING TO ISTG—
Ahem, anyways—I hope you guys liked it :D I'm currently facing a bit of a time crunch atm so my response to requests will be even slower than it already is :') Sorry about that. I hope you guys love this post, though!
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
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bodyexchangeman · 1 day ago
Text
Ok. For those that enjoyed part one, here is what happens next for Harry and Keiran. It's quite long again but hopefully worth it. I have an idea where this might head but don't know how many parts there might be. I should try and find some pics as well to be fair. Next episode maybe.
Trading Places
Part 2: Lager and Real Talk
The pavement outside the hotel shimmered faintly in the late afternoon sun as Harry and Kieran stepped out. Harry’s newly-acquired tracksuit clung softly to his frame, the hoodie slightly oversized, the trainers springy on the concrete. His baseball cap shadowed his eyes, and the crossbody bag slapped lightly against his hip with every step.
It was strange. He felt invisible in a way he never had before—like he could walk past someone and not be seen as Harry. Not as the guy with the watch that cost more than some cars or the blonde-haired student destined for a top firm. He felt... casual. Unguarded. He glanced at Kieran, now in Harry’s fitted polo and chinos, looking like he’d stepped off a country club golf course. He even held himself straighter, chin up, his hands tucked neatly in his pockets.
“Still can’t believe how comfortabke I feel,” Harry said, nodding down at his trainers. “I feel like I could sprint down the street if I had to.”
Kieran laughed. “Mate, that’s half the point. You never know when you need to leg it.”
Harry smiled. Just hearing that had given him a warm thrill. 
“Tell you what though” Kieran continued, “these shoes ain't made for running! Don't half rub” he said, nodding down at Harrys loafers in which Kieran was striding down the pavement. 
They rounded a corner onto a quieter street where a pub with hanging baskets and a faded sign came into view. It didn't look rough, but definitely local. The sort of place where regulars greeted each other by nickname and bar staff knew your pint before you asked.
Inside, the pub was quiet, a few older gents watching sports on a muted screen, and a couple leaning in close over a table. Kieran led Harry to a corner booth where they could talk without raising eyebrows.
“I’ll grab the drinks,” Kieran said. “You sure?” queried Harry raising an eyebrow. “Course mate” Kieran replied. “What you ‘avin?”
“Pint of blonde please” Harry replied, nodding at one of the real ale pumps, but Kieran was already making for the bar.
Harry sat, fiddling with the hem of the hoodie sleeve. He felt awkward, almost exposed in a way that had nothing to do with the cut of his clothes. People weren’t looking at him with curiosity or respect. They weren’t looking at him at all. And weirdly, that felt freeing.
Kieran returned with two pints and a grin.
“Cheers,” he said, sliding the colder, paler glass toward Harry before plonking down into the seat opposite.
Without thinking, Harry took a sip—and nearly gagged. “This is lager.”
“Yep,” Kieran said with a smirk, already several mouthfuls into what was obviously a real ale. 
“You gave me yours?”
“Course,” Kieran said. “You’re dressed for it.”
Harry narrowed his eyes, then chuckled, raising the pint. “To immersion, then.”
“Exactly.”
As they drank, the conversation deepened. Kieran talked about life on the estate—his mates, the vibe, the constant posturing. “There’s this unspoken thing, right?” he said. “Like, you’ve got to act hard even when you’re not. Can’t be too soft, too different, or they’ll rip you for it. And me... I started realising I liked lads, yeah? But you can’t exactly say that down at the youth centre. So I started thinking, maybe if I was someone else—like one of those clean-cut blokes at uni—it’d be easier.”
Harry listened carefully, leaning forward. “Funny. I always felt pressure the other way. My family’s full of lawyers and investors. Everyone acts like we’re above it all, but we’re trapped in our own bubble. Image is everything.”
“So you wanted out too.”
“Maybe not out. Just... perspective.”
They both paused, letting the silence sit between them for a moment.
Kieran drained the last of his pint. “Wanna head back before food?”
Harry nodded. “Yeah. I want to change my socks before I forget they’re yours.”
They laughed, slipping out of the booth and heading for the exit. As they stepped into the cooling evening, a group of lads clustered near the alley beside the pub caught their eye—hoods up, cheap cider in hand, laughing loudly and jostling each other.
Harry braced instinctively. But the group barely glanced at them. One of the lads even nodded at Harry like he was one of them.
He blinked. “They didn’t... look at me.”
Kieran raised an eyebrow. “That’s the tracksuit talking.”
Harry looked down at himself and then back at the group. “If I were wearing my own clothes, I know they'd have looked at me different. Made some comment between themselves.”
“Yup,” Kieran said. “Funny how that works.”
And as they turned the corner, heading back to the hotel to prepare for dinner, Harry realised that changing clothes had done more than disguise him. It had let him live, if just for a few hours, in someone else’s truth.
The two arrived back at the hotel and headed up to their rooms. Harry had booked everything and arranged adjoining rooms. As they headed up in the lift they agreed to freshen up, grab a shower and then head out for some food in an hour or so. Then see where the evening took them. 
Harry arrived at his door and fished his room’s key card out of his teaksuit pocket as Kieran hovered behind him. Harry tapped the card on the room lock and was already pulling the handle and pushing the door but the lock buzzed and flashed red, refusing to budge. Huffing to himself Harry had another few goes but to no avail. He turned and was about to say to Kieran that they'd have to go back to reception, only to find Kieran laughing silently.
“Wrong room mate” Kieran sniggered and pointed to the next door along. Harry was about to respond but realized that when the pair had swapped clothes, Kierans tracksuit bottoms still had his room key in the pocket. 
It made sense he guessed. If he was gonna be Keiran then he should probably stay in Keiran’s room. 
Harry stepped along and swiped the key card at the next door. A buzz and a green light. Harry pushed the handle and opened the door, pausing in the entrance. “Wanna hang out for a bit?” He asked, glancing across at Kieran. “We've got plenty of time and it won't take me long to get ready”.
Kieran looked at his watch. Well, the watch he was wearing. It was Harry’s large silver plated divers watch. At that moment Harry realized how much trust he was putting in to someone who really was a stranger. What if Keiran made a break for it? Disappeared with Harrys stuff once they were alone? But at the same time Harry realized he didn't care. Not really. He could replace the stuff. Plus he trusted Keiran. Somewhere he recognized the bond they had already built. 
“Sure” Kieran replied, “can have 15 mins. Check your room out.” Kieran flashed that grin again as Harry held the door open and Keiran wandered in. 
The door shut behind the pair with a thud and Harry found himself stood next to Keiran at the end of the pristinely turned down bed. Harry realized that Kieran was playing his part, waiting to be invited to sit down like it wasn't his room. 
“Grab a seat” Harry motioned and Kieran slid himself into the rooms one easy chair. Harry looked around. The room was almost identical to ‘his’, the only difference being a large gym bag dumped by the window and a phone charger and some loose change on the bedside table. Harry sat himself on the bed and kicked off his trainers, stretching himself out. Harry flexed his toes, watching them move inside the white sports socks he was wearing, the cuff of his tracksuit sliding up his legs exposing the full length of those socks. Harry realised they were quite damp. Some of it was his him but Harry remembered that they had felt pretty damp when he first pulled them on. He found himself wondering if Keiran's socks smelled. Harry guessed he would find out soon enough. 
The two chatted for a while. They talked about how different they had felt in the pub. How exciting this had all been so far. Then, after a while,  Keiran stood up and stepped across the room. “I'd better make a move and get freshened up if we're gonna head out at 6.30.”
Harry instinctively stood up and stepped forward to see his guest out. As he got close to Keiran the other man did not move but allowed Harry to stand close up to him. The two looked into each others eyes in a moment of electricity. Then instinctively Harry moved forward, his face closing in on Keiran's. He could feel Keiran's breath drift across his cheek before their lips met. Their breath intermingled as they pressed their lips together, both of them almost shivering in anticipation. Harry could feel Keiran's tongue snake out and descend into Harry's mouth. It brushed Harry's teeth and slathered across his own tongue.
Harry could feel Keiran's hands running over him. Rubbing on the cotton of his tracksuit. He felt Keiran's hand instinctively cup Harry's crotch and gently squeeze. There was no hiding how hard Harry was right now. 
Then Keiran pulled back and the two gazed into each others eyes for a split second before Keiran gave Harry a peck on the cheek. “See you downstairs in about forty minutes then?” Keiran called over his shoulder as he headed to the door. 
“Sure, see you then” Harry replied as he sat back on the edge of the bed, his head buzzing with the afternoons events.
The door clicked shut again and Harry let out a long breath. 
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exhausted-think-bucket · 5 months ago
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I'm having breakfast in my hotel and most people around me were also at Paul's concert last night. Everyone is comparing notes, some people even attended both shows, some people were long time fans, others more Beatles than Paul fans, but the consensus I'm overhearing is the man was Incredible.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting here staring at my coffee cup still trying to process that this happened.
This post was put together in various stages throughout the day, I'm sorry if it's a complete mess. In my Defense (hello venue pun I didn't plan), so am I.
I'll put the rest under a cut, because it's A Lot.
No, really. Proceed at your own risk, what follows is a lot of words. Is there a character limit to Tumblr posts? Guess I'm about to find out.
I hadn't traveled to another country for a concert in years. My body will be protesting for a few days, but let me tell you: it was totally worth it and I would do it again a thousand times over. It was my birthday this week anyway, I already knew I'm getting older.
Speaking of getting older, do you know who ISN'T? Paul McCartney. The man has been performing for over sixty years, and he's still on stage with all the energy of his 22 year old self.
He had no support act; understandable as I can't imagine anyone opening for Paul McCartney. Except for Paul McCartney himself, which is kind of what he had going before the concert: a dj playing The Beatles covers (he included a bunch of french ones, the people vehemently approved). Leading up to his entrance on stage, someone (I wonder, was that you Charlie Lightening) had put together a colorful montage of images from throughout The Beatles and Paul history set against their songs and the images were building up around a tower that was moving ever upwards to end in: Paul's Hoffner bass.
At this point the crowd is already moved; songs that aren't on the setlist (like Twist and Shout, I Wann Hold Your Hand, Oh Darling!) have already been heard and the people are buzzing.
And then. The man himself comes on stage and it's like. He is real. He's here. He's speaking in French. The crowd soars.
He opens with A Hard Day's Night, and I'm once again floored that this one opening chord immediately drives everyone to delirium. It's been literally ten seconds.
He played a mix of Wings and The Beatles with a few Paul solos thrown in there and I could talk about every single one of them, but I don't know if anyone's even made it this far. Since this is basically a diary entry, and I have a lot of feelings, I'm going to talk about most of them anyway, so here goes:
Got to get you into my life: I'll admit this has never been a favorite of mine despite its popularity. Something about the mixolydian key I think, but that's just me (sorry to my other idol Leonard Bernstein, who loved this song). But hearing it live was definitely one of those cases where I much preferred it to the recording for what the live experience added to it.
Let Me Roll It: oh man. This is my favorite song of his. It's sexy, it's tender, it's intense. It's the kind of song the word 'eargasm' was coined for. And I had multiple. (Also @i-am-the-oyster he was totally doing a strip tease with the whole rolling up his sleeves the absolute slut of a man. Where do I sign for my old Paul fucker membership).
My Valentine: he sounded so good during this one I had goosebumps the whole time. He was probably really feeling it cause Nancy was in the audience.
Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five: a song hot enough to set me on fire on an average day, experiencing it live was extraordinary. Paul absolutely shredded on keys and his voice, OH MAN. Was he belting it like on One Hand Clapping? No. But damn near close enough. The man is 82 years old. My voice is shot to hell after just singing along last night. He sounded incredible, end of.
Maybe I'm Amazed: arguably one of the best love songs ever written and he absolutely killed it. Tears in my eyes the whole time. When Paul really loves someone he damn makes sure to immortalize it in the most beautiful way. Sigh.
And speaking of people Paul loves. If you're still here, the worst is yet to come.
In Spite of All the Danger: I cannot believe Paul wrote this when he was what, sixteen? To be performing this live in front of thousands, when at the time they could barely scramble the fifteen shillings needed to record it feels monumental. And that's to me. I can't imagine how Paul feels.
Love Me Do: iconic, no further notes.
Michelle: most likely added for the French audience (though I haven't checked the earlier setlists), it was a very sweet performance. Teenage Paul who wanted to sing in French so he could pick up girls, is now, still, singing to people who know his words by heart. What if I cry.
Oh, but I did cry. Because what comes soon after is The Worst I mentioned earlier, namely Blackbird, followed by Here Today followed by Now and Then. Which. Is evil. I thought we were here to have FUN Paul, or so he kept saying. I can't see the fun through my tears Paul.
The last forty five minutes of the show were all the iconic crowd pleasers that really makes me feel we were robbed The Beatles never performed in front of audiences together: Let It Be, Hey Jude, Helter Skelter (to name a few).
Live and Let Die was second to last with the whole firework extravaganza, which was only made even more spectacular by Paul covering his ears and acting scared, the drama queen.
He closed off with the usual Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End which was just a magical end to a magical night nobody wanted to end. Hey Jude is still echoing the halls of the arena, I'm pretty sure it will never stop.
Other comments: his little awkward dances in between songs were just adorable. You really are a dork Paul, thank you for the reminder. It's good to see that you are not, in fact, this perfect apparition that enchants everyone it comes across.
His band is awesome. They deserve their own few lines, they really give it their all every time and while they are not John, George and Ringo, they are dear to Paul and The Best Band in the World as he always says. So grateful he found them.
He did a lot of songs that require a lot vocally. I am extremely impressed at how good he still sounds.
The footage playing in the back: for George, for John, for all of them really. Heart wrenching yet beautiful stuff.
I realized just now I didn't talk about I've Got a Feeling. I don't know that there is anything I can say that could describe it. I knew it was coming (still cried), but I genuinely think a lot of people didn't, given that a lot of the fans last night were older and not likely to be following the setlists like the more...dedicated of us do. You could feel it from the audience's reactions, I think it was a real surprise for many of them. I couldn't stop thinking about how in two days it's the anniversary of John's death and yet people are able to see him on a stadium screen, almost singing with Paul decades later. As a way to be remembered (and John will always be remembered many ways), it's a rather incredible one.
The sweet moment when Paul stepped off the stage and Nancy was there with his jacket and a kiss to whisk him away. Stooooop at this point.
On that note, I will wrap this up. I'll probably ramble more about things as they come back to me, but for now. I'm spent.
If you made it, thank you for reading till The End.
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wanderlust-in-my-soul · 10 months ago
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Currently Watching - August
aka The Masterlist
Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊
Regularly updated during the month, latest update 29.08.2024
A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙
gif-requests are currently closed🌼
Here you can find all of my gifs.
At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in August with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).
This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!
1. 4 Minutes 🇹🇭 (4/8)
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Okay. I catched up. I wasn't in the mood for this series, but now I am a little bit hooked. We have a really cute couple here with a really nice love-making-scene. We have a totally messed up relationship of three people, two love each other, two hurt the other one and two are horny for one with very graphic scenes. And yes, I saw it too. Oh, the story itself? Confusing, yet interesting.
2. Cityboy_Log 4.2 🇰🇷 (17/23)
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This week was... okayish. They were mostly bonding at a group and doing stuff together. Nothing really happend. They played games, the trouple was cute and JJ tried to act, but really, those moments were more cringe than anything else...
3. First Note of Love 🇹🇼 (4/12)
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The looks they gave each other! The constant bickering! The compliments! The necklace as a gift! I see you! I like them. They get more comfortable together and are now forming a band. Hopefully Sea can help Neil getting back on stage without fainting or having a panic attack. I am curious how this whole series will move on, but I am intrigued. But what is that age gap?
4. Hidamari ga Kikoeru 🇯🇵 (10/12)
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🥲 I'm fine... the only thing that helped me in the end was the preview for next week. How could he listen to Maya? How? I know why, but still... why? And now Taichi thinks he was just a replacable someone who doesn't mean anything to Kohei 😭 I really don't like it here! And I hope Maya chokes on her words! I don't care that she's going to cry next episode. Right now I still don't like her. Boys! Get your shit together and talk to each other! Please!
5. I Saw You In My Dream 🇹🇭 (7/12)
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THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS SO DAMN CUTE!!!!! I like them! And Yu finally collecting his courage to tell Ai, he likes him. I need Ai to tell him he likes him too! But the preview for next week! I can't wait! The best start in my vacation! Do I feel bad for Wann? No, not really. He saw the signs, he got the vibe between Yu and Ai, but he still tried. I guess he is a good guy, but he is not Yu.
6. Seoul Blues 🇰🇷 (3/8)
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Well... Our bad boy got together with their mutual friend. Little Mr. Angsty likes our bad boy, but is to afraid what might change, so he didn't take his change when bad boy confessed to him. And of course he now is unsure about bad boy's feelings. And our lady in denial knows that her bad boy doesn't like he like that and I guess she can feel those two are very much into each other, but she still wanna try it and give it a shot. Well... good luck. And while she is thinking about her bad boy thinking about someone else while kissing her, her bad boy is now kissing little Mr. Angsty. I don't know how this friendship can be fixed. There is so much wrong with their entire realtion-/friendship... and I love it!
7. Takara no Vidro 🇯🇵 (9/11)
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I started with mixed feelings about this series and I ended up totally loving it! I enjoy this series very much! They talk with each other and they understand each other. They have such a good relationship at this point and I love how Takara is opening up and questioning his plans for the future. Life is unpredictable, love is unpredictable and there can be people who change your plans for the better or worst, but that is something for other shows.
8. The On1y One 🇹🇼 (4/12)
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Best chemistry! I love them! I love pounting Wang and this absolutely smitten boy Tian so much! Tian was everything this episode. He couldn't stop looking at Wang and couldn't stop smiling. He is already in love. And Wang uses Tian for learning, but he is slowly falling. And I hope it will be this: he fell first, but he fell harder! Good series!
9. The Trainee 🇹🇭 (8/12)
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This was one of the cutest episodes ever and at the same time one of the saddest with the most wholesome break-up ever. Ba-Mhee did something wrong, she apologised and Tae realised that he is part of the problem. I am cusious how they work around this whole story. But Jane and Ryan. Oh the cuteness! I loved every scene with them. And I loved that Jane was jealous and Ryan reassured him. I am a little bit anxious about next week. Guess this was my favorite episode so far!
10. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (20/36)
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Those two flirt a lot and are a married couple. Everyone knows that. And I love and enjoy that! Overall this is such a fun watch and the different sects and intrigues are sometimes a little bit confusing, but interesting. I love this world of martial arts and I love how protective Wen Kexing is over Zhou Zishu. I haven't felt like watching this lately. I wasn't in the right mood.
Finished in August
Series
His Man Season 3 🇰🇷
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What was that? I enjoyed the first two seasons so much! And this one felt very manipulated by the production. The secret missions were just there to cause drama and misunderstandings. And othe rparts really felt just boring. I was not really invested in the couples this time. I wish we would have seen more of their friendships. Perhaps that was because the fight between JY and MK was so centred. In the end I am happy MS and MK made it and became a couple. And it is nice that SM and JS got together too. But who thought it was a good idea to keep that "break-up" between YJ and HM in the show? That was just awful to watch! I never saw them vibing together, but a short notice that they decided to stay friends would have been enough. I don't have to see that Hanmin gave the ring back, they made together. I get where he is coming from, but I wish they could have talked about this in private! There were some bad coices of the production which was not favourable for the show! If there is a season 4 I hope it stays away from artificial drama! Just a 7 out of 10 for me.
Century of Love 🇹🇭
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We got a happy ending. Hm. Great. I don't know. I guess I wouldn't have mind if San had died. It was a little bit too constructed with the little piece of that stone in the end and the change of heart from the fake Vad... So I am a little bit dissappointed with the ending. Yes, I cried, because I have feelings, but at some points I had to skip parts because there were just too many emotions that clashed in my face. But I am happy for San and Vee. Overall a good 8 out of 10.
Bad Guy 🇰🇷
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Honestly? I like cheating stories when my couple wins. In conclusion, I liked this short series. I am curious if we get a second part like with Blue Boys. I would be happy if we could just end it here. The two sad boys finally got their happy ending and can now be enough for each other. I like that. Wish we could see a little bit of their everyday life or how this decision impacts their lifes. I liked it. I give it a 8 out of 10.
Cosmic Playlover 🇯🇵
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I enjoyed the show. It felt a little bit rushed, but over all, I enjoyed the plot and the love story. Two men working in the beauty industry and both go their own way and just loving what they do. That was also really good to see! I especially enjoyed the dynamic between these two. And they talked! Sure there was drama, but in the end they talkes to each other and listened to each other and could solve their problems. Such a nice little show. I give it good 8,5 out of 10.
Movie
Short Film
Dropped in August
My Love Mix-Up! 🇹🇭
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I guess I've dropped this one. I don't know why exactly. I think it was a cute story and I liked watching it, but right now I don't have the energy to keep going. I will come back to this one when it is finished and when I am in the mood for some fluff.
Looking forward to in August
The Last Time - Trailer (Aug 16th)
The Loyal Pin - Trailer (Aug 4th)
Sugar Dog Life - Trailer (Aug 4th)
Summer Night - Trailer (Aug 5th)
Cosmetic Playlover (Aug 6th)
Monster Next Door - Trailer (Aug 8th)
First Note Of Love - Trailer (Aug 12th)
Addicted Heroin - Trailer (Aug 13th)
Love Beneathe The Stars - Trailer (Aug 16th)
The Paradise Of Thornes - Trailer (Aug 22nd - Thai Cinemas)
The On1y One (Aug 22nd)
Affair - Trailer (Aug 30th)
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just-my-latest-hyperfixation · 10 months ago
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hi!!! congratulations on your 1k followers!! your blog is so great and you deserve each one of them!! i wanted to request a ficlet with the following picks: P, zombie apocalypse au, hurt comfort and 🔪!! can't wait to see what you come up with, congratulations again!! -@steveseddie
Aw, that's so lovely, thank you! This one was a lot of fun to figure out, and of course it has grown a little plot already. 😅
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My world ends (without you)
Rated: E (for blood and violence)
Words: 997
Tags: Zombie Apocalypse AU; Established relationship; Blood and violence; Steve Harrington whump
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One time, shortly after they lost Eddie, Max asked Steve if he never got mad. She didn't look at him, just continued staring ahead, knees hugged to her chest. Her face was dotted crimson from their latest run-in with the dead, like a smattering of extra freckles.
“Do you even care at all? About what happened to Eddie?” 
“Of course,” Steve said, fingernails digging crescents into his palm. “He was my friend.” 
She huffed. “Friend, yeah. Whatever. Point is, I'd be furious at these undead fuckheads, but you? You're so calm. I don't get it.” 
Steve hummed, thinking about how to explain. 
“Of course I'm mad,” was what he settled on. “But you gotta keep a level head, or you'll do stupid things. I got you kids to protect. And besides, you think those undead fuckheads asked for this? It's the damn virus that's screwing us all over.” 
It's funny how he remembers this now, months later, huddled into the shelter of a tree and peeling his pants away from his bleeding leg. Part of him is still hoping it's something else - that he cut himself falling through that window, that one of his last bullets ricocheted and got him, fuck, please anything but this. 
But it is. 
The teeth marks in his flesh, the way the wound is already festering and turning black, tell him all he needs to know. 
“Fuck!” he swears, falling backwards and staring up at the darkening sky through stinging eyes. His hand twitches for his gun - he'd rather end it now than happening upon Robin or the kids later - but then he remembers he's out of ammunition. There's nothing he can do. 
Nothing but lie here and let the fever take him and hope that whoever finds him puts a quick end to it. 
*
He doesn't expect to wake up again, not as himself. When he does, his head is cradled in someone's lap and for a moment, he thinks he's back at their camp with Robin, that it was all a nightmare. But then he realizes he's still in the forest and the pain in his leg hits him like a ton of bricks. 
“-quite the number on you, huh, big boy?” 
Steve's groan turns into a gasp. 
“Eddie? This isn't real, you're dead.” 
Eddie grins, briefly. It tugs on the big, gnarly scar covering his jaw and the side of his face, just where Steve saw him get bitten. Then, his face settles back into grim determination. 
“How long?” 
Steve blinks against the confusion and the fever. “Huh?” 
“Your leg, Stevie. How long since the bite?” 
“I … I dunno,” Steve slurs. His head is pounding. He's burning inside. “Few hours?” 
Eddie nods. “Gotta be quick then. Sorry, this is gonna hurt like a bitch.” 
He places Steve's head on the ground, bustling around with something in the fire he has built next to their spot.
“What’re you-” Steve starts to say, trying to sit. That's when he realizes his wrists are tied above his head and panic kicks alive behind his ribcage. “Eddie?” 
When Eddie turns, he's holding a knife. The blade is glowing orange.
“No,” Steve breathes, feebly straining against his bonds. “Nonono, Eddie, please!” 
“Hey,” Eddie says. “Remember when we first met?” 
The question comes from so far out of left field that Steve forgets to struggle. Eddie’s eyes are dark and serious in the firelight. 
“You said to make it outta this, we gotta trust each other. You trust me?” 
Steve doesn’t even hesitate. He nods. Eddie smiles, brief but pleased. 
“Then let's go.” 
Something nudges against Steve’s lips, something dry and leathery - a belt. 
“You'll wanna bite down on something,” Eddie says, regret in his eyes. “Believe me.” 
Swallowing down the humiliation burning in his throat, Steve opens his mouth. 
“Atta boy,” Eddie praises, but the joke falls flat between them. “Let's fucking do this.” 
And Steve's world disappears behind a wall of pain. 
*
“Y’know,” Eddie murmurs. He's propped them up against the tree trunk, Steve’s head tucked under his chin, fingers combing Steve's sweat-soaked hair from his forehead. “I'd be lying if I told ya I never thought of tying you up and gagging you with my belt, but this was not what I imagined.” 
Steve scoffs weakly, eyes straying down to his bandaged leg. “Did it work?” 
Eddie shrugs. “Think so. Henry says you gotta cut the infection out before it spreads, but how much time you got depends on a lot of factors. Your fever seems to be under control , so that's good, but lemme know if you develop any unusual cravings. Brains, raw meat, that kinda-” 
“Woah, hold on, who's Henry? Did he …” 
Eddie interrupts his ramble when Steve’s fingers find the new scar on his jaw. He allows Steve to map the shape of it for a while before catching his fingers and pressing a kiss to them. 
“Yeah. He's head of a safe zone, about twenty miles north from here. He's a scientist … well, used to be, and … Stevie, he thinks he knows how to cure it.” 
“What? Eddie, that's incredible, where- We gotta tell the others, we gotta-” Steve has hardly startled upright when Eddie guides him back down. 
“Right now, honey, all we gotta do is let you rest. Plenty of time to break the good news to the others tomorrow.” 
And maybe it's the pain, or maybe it's the blood loss, or maybe it's the overwhelming bliss of having Eddie back, but Steve doesn’t find it in himself to argue. 
“Alright,” he whispers, letting his head sag against Eddie’s chest and allowing the gentle rhythm of his beating heart to lull him to sleep. “Just … don't leave again.” 
Eddie kisses the top of his head. “Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.” 
He's broken that promise before. There's no guarantee he won't break it again, not in this fucked up nightmare they live in. But Steve trusts him. 
That has to be enough. 
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Man, that Henry sounds like a swell fella, I'm sure nothing will go wrong.
More celebration ficlets
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tumblerlove · 1 year ago
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"Love you wanna smoke a joint with me" Eddie calls from the other room "OH yes I'm coming" you exclaim while running to the bedroom to join your boyfriend
He's already rolling up a joint in his lap on the bed when you come in "I wanna try this new strain with you" Eddie says happily while patting the bed next to him silently asking you to sit "I'd love that...I always love smoking with you or doing anything" you tell him as he finishes rolling
He reaches over to your face, pushing a strand of hair back from your face, saying, " I love doing anything with you too" he pulls back reaches for the lighter and hands you the joint saying "You get first hit love" smiling at you as you put the joint in your mouth while he lights it
You take a hit, and it's a really nice strain it tastes and smells pretty good to, and by Eddie's face, he agrees with you
You both pass it back and forth for a few hits "Mmm...I think im feeling it a bit...it's nice i feel really relaxed but happy too" you tell Eddie with your eyes a little lower now then before the smoke session
"Me too love...and honestly Im getting a little horny for you...not gonna lie" he says with a laugh making you laugh too before you start crawling toward him and into his lap avoiding hitting the joint out his hand
"I think I can help you with that Ed's" You shimmer off his lap until you're standing on the floor and start getting out of your clothes, and as soon as you're bare, you hear Eddie groan
"Fuck...your so hot love I'm so fucking lucky" he groans out while you step closer in between his spread legs grabbing the joint from his hands taking a hit from the joint breathing the smoke out and inhaling through your nose doing a ghost
"I wann see you too Ed's...take your clothes off too," you tell him, and he does just that standing up, taking his clothes off
The joint is done by now, Eddie, and you are both high and really horny at this point
Eddie steps closer to you playing with your nipples and kissing you causing you to gasp out and moan into his mouth "I want you to bend over the bed now and show me your pussy love" he says too you so softly like he didn't just say something dirty
You do just what he asked, walking to the bed and laying your upper body on the bed, with your legs holding you up on the floor
Eddie starts walking up behind you, putting his hips to your ass you can feel how hard his cock is making you whine for him
He starts kissing you across your back and starts moving all across it while his hands are rubbing all over your ass and then the kisses stop...a spilt second later he smacks your ass making you yelp...the weed is making everything sensitive right now you can feel yourself starting to get wet
"Ed's..." you say his name whiny."Mmm... you gotta tell me what you want love" he's soothing your ass while saying this...but not for long before he smacks not your ass but your cunt instead..."Shit Ed's...mmm" your eyes are starting to water with need "Tell me what you want love" Eddie says with another slap to your cunt
"My clit...I want your tongue...please" you can't stop rocking back and forth wanting more friction on your cunt even if it's another slap
"It's really a good thing im starting to get hungry then" are his words as he kneels onto the floor and without warning spits onto your hole
"Ah" you can't help but moan out fuck you can feel his spit going through your slit going to your clit, he dives into your cunt licking up his spit and your slick onto his tongue
Your face is shoved into the mattress consuming your moans as Eddie keeps licking you up and down..suddenly pausing once he notices the muffled moans...he pulls his hand out and slaps your ass twice fast "FUCK Eds" you yell out
"Don't muffle those sounds, sweetheart. I gotta make sure I can hear how good I'm eating you" he quickly says before returning to your cunt
Your holding up your face making sure to let Eddie hear you...he's got your clit between his lips sucking on it making your clit feel hot he's keeping the same steady rhythm making it feel so fucking good your getting close to your orgasm
"Eddie...I'm gonna cum soon" your pleading hoping he keep the same rhythm...he does...not even taking his mouth off your clit for a second...even while his hand shoot outs to smack your ass making you completely fall over the edge
You're moaning and can feel the heat crawling up your chest from your orgasm... you feel so warm and relaxed from your orgasm and the weed
You hear Edddie stand up from behind you, he keeps soothing your ass with his hands "Roll to your side sweetheart," he says while helping you move to that position
You're on your side while he still stands at the edge of the bed, grabbing your right leg and holding it under his arm so you're spread wide to your side exposing your pussy to him and and both of you seeing eachothers faces
"I feel like I'm gonna burst if I don't get inside you soon" Eddie is saying while sliding his cock through your slick coating his dick with your wetness
Your whining as he keeps doing this for a second "I really like this weed" he says just before he pushes into you halfway letting you take a second "Oh oh..me too" you try to say throughout your moans
He pushes in fully now all the way inside you and starts rubbing your clit letting you get used to him for a second "Ed's please...move now" you could cry if he doesnt
He starts moving out completely to his tip and then plunges in "Oh fuck" you exclaim gripping onto the sheets
He keeps plunging into you so deep you can hear the combined wetness off you too throughout the room
Eddie's groaning as this point trying to not cum before you
He's keeping a good pace from circling your clit with his fingers to his cock hitting your g-spot from this angle he has you in
You can feel your orgasm approaching, feeling it spread throughout your core "Just like that Eddie...don't stop," you're pleading. "I won't... i won't" Eddie's breathless at this point excited to cum in you as always
"I'm gonna cum honey" he says to you just as you were going to say the same thing
His fingers speed up on your clit making you gasp out and start orgasming feeling yourself convulsing around Eddie's cock and his hips stutter as he cums inside you
He pulls out and watches his cum come out your pussy and a groan escapes his chest he can't help it
You feel dazed and so relaxed as Eddie goes and brings you a washcloth to clean you up while you lay on you back against the pillows
As Eddie cleans you up he says "If that strain does that everytime I might need to get us more" he says laughing
"EDDIE" you laugh out covering your face as he comes up to you and helps you put on clothes while he's still laughing....
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ancha-aus · 9 months ago
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Ghosts & Medium AU Drabble - First Encounter
Because we all know. I have no self control :D
I don't know if this will become a serie like RealAgeAU.
This drabble is more of a thank you to all the lovely people who interacted with me over this idea and added their own little ideas and headcanons <3 So this is for all of you <3 (also i named Ghost Papyrus Ash because I like the name combination of Dust and Ash. Dust to dust and ashes to ashes kinda deal/joke)
*---------------------*
Dust taps the steering wheel as he drives through the town. Many people shoot his van worried and suspicious looks but he really doens't care that much.
Ash does not agree.
"If they know what is good for them they will stop this idiotic behaviour!" Ash huffs and grumbles as he floats around the top of the van, only his skull and hands available to him in this phantom form. "They are already lucky we are willing to give them our presence!!"
Dust hums as he follows the road "It isn't big of a deal."
Dust stops their van at the end of the road and grabs his laptop. a beat up old model but it works for what he wants. He only uses it for work stuff anyway. he opens his email and checks the address "We are here." he looks up and spots the house the email describes.
Ash huffs but floats near his shoulder "stupid white family who moved into an obviously haunted house again?"
Dust snorts and shrugs "Maybe. The man didn't specify. still." he grins at his brother "wanne bet?"
Ash looks unamused "I don't bet with you anymore."
Dust shrugs "your lose. Either way. I bet that this is the same old story. a white family moved to this very cheap mansion because the father was convinced this change of environment would solve all their issues, which are mostly that he cheated on his wife with his twenty year younger assistant."
Ash huffs unimpressed and just points pointedly at the house "Do your job. What can we expect here?"
Dust sighs but focusses on the house in the distance as he slowly opens his aura and soul for influence. Doing this near a lot of spirits leaves him at the risk of being possessed. which is why he does this only from a large distance and when he doens't sense other spirits nearby.
Dust hums as he focusses "okay... I think this may be a poltergeist? Though a very powerful one." he shoots Ash a look "best you dont go on a recon mission." he turns his driver's chair around and gets up to look through his shelve.
Ash grumbles behind him but doesn't fly off to investigate on his own. Ash as phantom is very stealthily and able to get anywhere he wants. But it leaves him weak to other spirit types.
Dust first grabs the pendant to strenghten Ash, which he tugs away in his scarf. Next he grabs a notebook and pen. An ouija board. a ghost radio.
He considers his tools before also grabbing the EMF meter and a handheld thermometer.
Ash laughs "You don't need those. if you are right and it is a poltergeist you just need to follow the floating and throwing objects to find it."
Dust shrugs "They may not be active. and stop calling your fellow spirits 'it's. it is rude." he gets out of his van and locks it before walking the last bit of the distance towards the house. Ash grumbles unhappily but follows him.
They get to the mansion together and find the family out in the garden. camping. huh. Honestly good idea on their part. just camping just outside the house.
The man had been holding a sniffing girl before catching sight of him.
The man looks excited as he hands the girl to the grown woman. the wife then it seems.
The husband rushes over "You are here! please help us!"
Dust tilts his skull and studies the scene before looking back at husband "hello. How long have you been having this spirit in your lives?"
The man sighs and moves to speak but the wife gets to his side "please love. lets first let our guest sit and we can all tell him what we saw."
Dust tilts his skull at her "Normally people don't believe in what i do."
the wife laughs but looks tired "I didn't believe in ghosts before until my house suddenly got haunted out of nowhere. And the priests we hired started to lose their minds. You get more openminded after that experience."
They end up sitting together in the grass as they explain that this was a house they bought about ten years ago. and that they never had these problems before until a month or so ago. that knives started flying and attacking them and how they couldn't feel safe anymore. How many had tried to demand the ghost to leave or tried to make it leave but nothing worked.
Dust looks at the small list he made and nods "i will need to find out why they dont leave." normally something keeps a spirit anchored to this realm and reality. it is strange that this spirit moved in without having a reason.
or at least it seems like that.
Dust asks if there seems to be a room where the spirit is most active and the family tells him it seems to be the living room though they have also been haunting the master bedroom a lot.
Dust nods and walks towards the front door. Already noticing the presence of the spirit as he gets near. He opens the front door and waits for a moment.
silence. No movement. an unnatural darkness.
Is the spirit taking energy from the environment to get this powerful? Normally they tend to feed on fear or memories. taking it from the environment is rare but not unheard of.
Dust makes sure to keep his voice calm and even "Hello. I am coming in okay?" he waits for a moment before nodding and stepping inside.
The door slams shut behind him and Dust nods "fair enough. can't have a draft form." he glances around. He needs to make a choice. living room or bed room.
He goes towards the living room. That one is generally more socially acceptable to visit on a first visit.
He gets to the room and looks around. It is a mess of furniture thrown over and broken things. The TV is static and everything is lit up with that greyish light.
Dust takes a moment to get comfortable at the coffee table as he sits with his legs crossed on the ground "Hello. I would like to ask you some questions if that is okay."
More silence but no hostile auras around him.
Dust nods and takes out the ways to help the spirit communicate "Do you have a prefered way to speak?" he points at the notebook, the radio and the ouija board.
A laugh in the air and Dust searches for the source. The longer he is near spirits the easier for him it becomes to hear and see them. He can see the outline of the spirit and watches them.
The laughted stops and the spirit floats closer to the offered items. they seem to nudge some of them before huffing.
Dust nods "no preference? we can try to just communicate as is then?"
The other stops and turns to face him. More details are becoming clear to Dust as the spirit remains near. They seem to have been a skeleton before, or they just prefer that form now.
The spirit chuckles and leans on their fist as they lay on their front in the air "sure. sounds fun."
their voice is still a little hard to understand but Dust can manage. He will have a headache after this however. That always happens when he communicates like this with new spirits.
Dust nods before putting the offered tools away before grabbing his own notebook for his personal notes "Hello, do you have a name that i can refer to you with? and do you have a preference in pronounce or gender to be referred with?" and he waits.
The spirit, becoming more and more clear to him, stares at him before speaking with that crackling and static voice "Killer. I am a guy."
Dust nods and notes it down "Killer. Hello. I am Dust. I was hoping you could answer some of my questions." more of a statement but an important one to make.
Killer nods and shrugs as answer. Okay that is good. no obvious hostile air just yet. Killer is also becoming more and more visible the longer he is not hostile. Dust can make out the skeleton with a bright red target in front of his sternum. the sweater and pants he is wearing. most telling however? the dark and empty sockets adn the black tears.
spirit forms usually say a lot about how a spirit died. The best way to make a spirit leave is to help them move on which is about 9 out of 10 times connected to their death.
So... no eye lights... hopeless situation? black tears. very traumatic? that is all he has so far and that is just speculations.
Dust asks his first question "How long have you been a spirit?"
Killer blinks before shooting him a grin "Checking if i am legal? Don't worry! I am well beyond the legal age." and he winks.
Dust blinks as Ash is silent by his side. okay. not the kind of answer he had been expecting. but better than being hostile...
Dust gives a slow nod as he makes a note "so you have been a spirit for a while. how long have you been at this place specifically?"
Killer shrugs as he thinks "little while. a month ish? so i am open to running away wiht you." and he grins at him again.
Ash grumbles angerly behind him "I think a murderous spirit is better than whatever is going on here."
Dust decides to not pay much attention to the flirsts and stay on track "Where were you before you moved here?"
Killer grins "In some other house with other people."
dust nods and continues "Why did you leave that place?"
Killer grins as he leans on his fist. staring at him "They moved and no one new moved in."
Dust frowns and asks "isnt that your aim? By haunting them? To make them leave? To have your own place for just yourself?"
Killer freezes for a moment and seems to grow a bit more static. Then he grins wider and leans closer to him "I mean. I would love to have my own house! Especially as that is seen as hot right? Having your own place." Killer winks at him again "Make sure no one interrupts our alone time?"
Ash makes gagging sounds behind him as Dust notes down 'doesnt want to be alone.'
Dust thinks for a moment before speaking again "You seem very focussed on being near others. does that mean you regret being alone?" just get more information.
Killer grins "The only thing i regret is not meeting you earlier."
Dust hums as he thinks. He doesn't seem to have any regrets. So his death and lingering isn't regret related.
It goes on like this for hours. Dust asking Killer questions and Killer replying with somekind of pickup line or other flirt with tiny bits of informations within those answers.
By the time it is evening Dust has a small list of things that seem to be trauma related but not any closer to actually getting the spirit to move on.
Dust says his goodbye as he moves towards the door only for the door of the living room to slam shut. Dust looks at it before turning back to Killer "Yes? Was there something?"
Killer looks downright panicked "Where are you going? Don't leave!"
yeah that is very obviously trauma related to being alone. maybe left behind? abandoned by someone Killer cared a lot about? Maybe that explains the flirting?
Dust speaks "I was going to go eat and sleep. I need to it to live." and he waits.
Killer frowns as he rubs his arms and eyes the door "And you will be back?"
Dust nods "I was planning on it. If i am welcome."
Killer thinks but nods. the door behind him unlocks and opens and Dust hears a second door do the same in the distance.
Dust nods and leaves the house. he gives the family a quick update that it may take a while longer as he tries to figure this out. then he goes to get his van and park it closer.
This may be a bit of a tricky case after all.
*---------------------*
and then in the end dust never managed to get killer to move on and killer ended up stalkign him instead <3
A drabble for this silly au!! I love seeing everyones ideas and headcanons and i hope this helps you guys to also keep interacting with me about this :D <3
part 2 - New Haunting
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ivy-loves-chocolate · 2 years ago
Note
If you're still doing the kink prompts, perhaps Leon Kennedy or Chris Redfield cum flation if you haven't done it yet? 😶
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Note: I’m still doing the kinky prompts, they’re fun! And I’ll start with Leon and then write for Chris. Hope you like this anon!;
Pair: Leon Kennedy x F!Reader;
Word count: 1.185 words;
Tags: cum inflation, overstimulation, smut, 18+;
Ko-fi || Patreon
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Leon came from his mission in a mood. Literally, he started to take off his clothes the moment he stepped inside the house, and by the time he reached your bedroom, he was only in his briefs.
"Someone’s in the mood." You said it with a smirk. Seeing his visible bulge made you toss away your phone and open your legs for him.
"You have no idea." He said this while coming on top of you and showering you with kisses. His soft lips covered every inch of your body, and his ears were blessed with sweet giggles once he reached your neck. His nose gently brushed against your warm skin, which tickled you a little but was a pleasant sensation nonetheless. He smelled so good that it made you want to stay in that embrace forever. It was a mix of his cologne and natural scent, something that belonged to Leon alone and that gave you butteflies whenever you'd smell it, on both his skin and clothes. 
As he kept biting and licking various portions of your neck, his crotch began to rub against your core. The hard bulge made you whine and roll your hips, desiring more contact and rubbing. You hugged him tightly and pushed his head deeper into the crook of your neck, almost suffocating him, but he didn't mind. Instead, he started to bite you harder.
"Leon..." you yelped once his teeth grabbed a good portion of your skin. that will leave a mark.
"Yes, my love?" he asked in a muffled voice.
"I need you."
You both kept rolling your hips and rubbing your sensitive areas until both of your underwear were soaked. It felt sticky and wet, and you both knew that you'd eventually cum. So, Leon eagerly removed both his briefs and your panties, leaving you both naked.
He was standing at the edge of the bed, ready to climb on top of you again. His cock was just amazing, and you had a hard time taking your eyes off it. It was thick, a little above average, with a very red and swollen tip.
"Hey, my eyes are up here," he teased, seeing that you were almost drooling.
"Sorry, I got distracted." You chuckled and grabbed his arm to guide him between your legs.
It didn’t take long until Leon started to pound inside you like an animal. His needs took over him completely, and he was driven by his most primitive urges, which were to breed and obtain release. The first orgasm was fast but not enough to satisfy either of you, so he kept pumping inside over and over.
The thing is, Leon never pulled out. He kept himself buried in you until his shaft hardened again, and then he would start thrusting inside your swollen cunt. He kept you plugged, so all of his load was kept inside you nicely, with a few leaks while he thrust.
You felt full already and didn't know if you could take another load, but goddamn it, his cock felt so good inside of you.
Leon didn't switch positions as he began to enjoy staying on top of you, pinning you down to the mattress. He was heavier than you and much stronger, too.
You felt another load being shot inside of you, a warm and long one followed by a few shorter ones. He weakly pumped inside his cock, and a few drops were released. However, your belly began to form a tiny bulge, and it was noticeable.
"Would you look at that?" Leon said as he rose a little to watch the little bulge, poking it gently. His cock remained inside you like a plug.
"Yeah, it's...nice, I guess." It didn't hurt or anything, but now it was impossible to ignore the feeling.
"I wonder....I wonder how much you can hold," he said, a smirk forming on his face when he finished the sentence.
"I...I don't know either..." you said, unsure. You wanted him to continue, but you didn’t know if you could handle it.
"Wanna find out?"
You nodded, and thus he began to thrust again. It was an unusual sensation; you felt stretched near your limit, but it was also nice. Because of the pressure, he rubbed that spot inside you very nicely, and you started to feel horny again.
"Hmm yes, just like that." You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. You felt some of his cum leaking with each pump, but you didn’t mind.
With each round, Leon lasted longer, but because of the pressure on your spot you came before him. You announced your orgasm with a shaky moan, a moment in which Leon pressed himself over you.
"You’re taking me so well, babe. Can you hold it for me a little longer?" He asked as he took your earlobe between his teeth.
"Leon, I don’t know…"
"Please…" He started to bite and kiss those spots on your neck that he knew would get you in the mood.
You began to feel that pressure again, which made you whimper and hug him tightly. He picked up the pace, stimulating you even better than before.
"I’m so close, babygirl, so close. You’re doing an amazing job."
Your breath became rapid and your moans louder as you felt your orgasm coming once again. You couldn’t feel his throbbing cock, but you knew he was close by the fact that his thrusts became sloppy.
With a whimper, he came inside you for the last time, releasing a huge load inside your tired and stretched cunt. You didn’t know that was even possible.
Your bulge increased significantly, and Leon got up on his palms to see it. A smile appeared on his face, and he started to poke it with his finger.
"It looks so weird, but I like it."
"I-I kinda like it too." You giggled and watched him play with your bulge. He palmed it and massaged it. Overall, he was proud of what he did, but he knew he couldn’t stay like that forever. So he pulled it out, and a thick, white fluid started to flow out. of your hole.
"Oh my God, this feels nice." You said after that, pressure was released.
"I bet." Leon chuckled and laid beside you, starting to caress your cheek with his fingers.
"You came in a kinky mood, mister."
His laugh echoed in the room.
"It’s all you, babe. You make me like this." He pulled you into his arms, closing the distance between you. His mouth started to kiss your face while his hand caressed your back.
"I wonder what else is hidden in there." You teased him and pressed your finger on his forehead.
"We can find out tomorrow," he said with his eyes half-closed.
"Sounds good; I bet you’re exhausted after cumming so many times." Your hand began to caress his cheek in an attempt to help him fall asleep.
"I’m glad. My balls are on fire, tho," he said with a sleepy voice.
You both chuckled and fell asleep quickly. This has tired you both.
Tag-list: @lunarastrobabe @alewesker @shadow-wolf510 @skylar-todd @rokurodokuro.
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mysadblacksoul · 1 year ago
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Backslide - 3/13 of the Clancy album
Grab a coffee and let's start this madness
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MV
Tyler is wearing the same clothes that he wore in Overcompensate MV to I would assume that this MV takes place right after
Let's break down the signs first
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We see the return of Ned Bayou as well as FPA, now standing for Food Petrol Etc.
You can buy 9 buns for $21, love the symbolism
There is a Jim sign omg. Baby is having his own bubblegum business
Of course the Bishops sign with 9 lines marked on it
I could've sworn that the black sign says "Dema Vapes", but looking closely I believe it's "Velma Vapes" lol
What is more, the cones (?) are yellow and I'm pretty sure that the fact that there are 5 of them is not an accident
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They sold him bread that went bad lol. Nah for sure it's not the case since he gives the same bread to a child
But I believe that the scene and the lyrics are closely tied with Stressed Out
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Now the next scene is interesting
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I think that the bad weather is a simple metaphor for feelings of anxiety or fear
We can see that Tyler was contemplating then he was suddenly pulled from his thoughts
This is when the scene changes to normal, right? Exactly on the line It's over my head
Then we move to the scene with the kid
And I really believe that this little lad is personification of Ned
Like he has the same boba eyes lol
No but for real, this is parallel to Chlorine - kid is giving Tyler a cup just like Tyler gave to Ned. Yet he accepts it and drinks whatever is inside and Ned just shudders
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Another interesting thing, that could make my point more valid is that the kid literally asks Is that a stain? You should change / Are you doin' good? / Did you solve all of your problems? like he knows Tyler very well and is in a way looking out for him
It's like he's keeping Ned by him - okat I'll stop
It might be a stretch, but the N kinda looks like a mirrored band symbol, do you also see it?
If 0.75c is equivalent to the cost of one bun than Tyler is being ripped off since he paid $21 for the pack instead of $6.75 lmao
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Something is really wrong with those buns lmao
Then the mood changes again, but this time is even worse. Like his mental health is declining even more and even faster
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The bread is wet, the day is ruined, thanks Mr. Joseph
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You killed it Josh, love your creative mind
*funny music stops*
Now let's talk about the way how the MV is looping itself
I would say that it is a demonstration of the twisted circle that is life
Maybe it's a very basic analysis but I think of all the complicated lore-oriented MVs this one is uncomplicated
What is shown here is how our psyche can play tricks on us and how we can complicate a rather simple situation ourselves
If Tyler hadn't had dark thoughts then nothing would have happened to the bread, so he would have just gone and given it to Josh
This shows how our psyche itself can abolish the situation in which we find ourselves
Looping, on the other hand, shows that as long as we don't do anything about it ourselves, we will be stuck in this fishbowl (see what I did there?)
Maybe it's one big AD to check your mental health and a sign to try to get better
Lyrics!
Rat race, place to place, adding weight / Tendencies on repeat, innit? - rat race for sure happened in Dema, and repeat is literaly the loop, innit meand that Clancy is canonicaly British
Benefit from a shoe with no lace - shoe with no lace would make you fall back on the behaviour that you are running from
Take the seat with the crease in it - seat of someone who already tried to change their life, or even who had the same dreams and hopes for better future like Clancy
This could be parallel to When I leave, don’t save my seat/ I’ll be back when it’s all complete from Chlorine
I don't care, you control me / Leading me anywhere - well, all I should say is Dema don't control me and we all know the rest of the story
I don't wanna backslide to where I've started from - he doesn't wanna go back to his back habits as well as doesn't wanna go back to his life before he tried to escape
There's no chance I will shake this again - if he falls back one more time that will be the end of him. His psyche won't take it anymore and his plans will be buried
'Cause I feel the pull, water's over my head - this is parallel to Fall Away And I, I can feel the pull begin. But it also gives me the parallel to Holding On To You MV, the scene with the rope
Strength enough for one more time - like I said, this would be the last attempt to change everything
Reach my hand above the tide - it could indicate that his physical strength is also wearing out
I'll take anything you have / If you could throw me a line - again with the line. But it also can mean that he can endure anything now, he just needs a little helping hand
I should've loved you better - this line can be directed both to himself but also to the person who extends his hand to help. He might not have appreciated both parts before and now regrets it
Do you think that now's the time / You should let go? - This line is like both a request and an apology. As if he wants to say “I'm sorry I treated you badly before but please don't leave me when I need help”
Bad place, on a hundred-dollar bass - this line is also giving me Stressed Out. You can imagine the cheap bass being transported on the bicycle right?
Kinda wishin' that I never did "Saturday" - I think that he doesn't mean the MV irl lol, but the regret of taking part in Bishops' manipulation altogether
Is that a stain? You should change - a play with mentioning Saturday and the lirycs She said that I should change my clothes
Are you doin' good? / Did you solve all of your problems? - like I said before I believe that this is Ned looking out for Clancy, wishing him well
Thanks for asking, in a way, but / Accidentally uncovered a new one yesterday - safe to say that he is not doing better lol
What happened to what I brushed under the rug? - what happened to how well he used to be able to hide his problems and true feelings
I used to be the champion of a world you can't see / Now I'm drowning in logistics - if viewed as a fact that he created this world it now looks like he wants to regain all control over it. Logistics is to take care of the management of planning. And once again we see the mention of drowning
The bridge is acting as an externalization of his myhs and fears that even if he is outside the Dema, the Bishops will still have control over him
The entire song is about both regaining conrol over the world of Dema but also regaining control over himself, his psyche.
The main theme is about not going back to old habits.
The most important thing here is progress and pushing forward.
Because one wrong move can make all the work in vain and we will sink to the very bottom.
Safe to say that I liked it haha
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