#I almost feel bad for tagging this one proper you guys don't deserve this

[prettyboykatsuki]

✮ tags ; gn!reader, usage of honorfics (-senpai once, -san), submissive ish nanami, blowjobs, anal fingering, 18+

✮ wc ; 1.7k (???????????)

✮ a/n ; i dont know what happened. not even a nanami girl. but. i see a man in need. nanami sorry for what every does to you.

It's so easy to get Nanami to bent out of shape.

He tries his best, you think. He tries hard, and he's a good guy. You always feel bad being around him and pulling your pranks and antics. You're not like Satoru - he's told you, because you're much more conniving. Unlike Satoru, who Nanami finds dishonest - he thinks you're too direct. Too plain in your admission, your admonishment, your praise.

He deserves a break, for all the tremendous pressure he puts on himself to do well and protect. to make something out of his life. There's some part of him you feel a lot of sympathy for, and another part that sees him for what he is. A man under duress who's practically begging for reprieve. He wants to vacation on a beach somewhere, but he can't.

You think it's natural - inevitable, that Nanami will give into your flirting. You lay it on thick every time he comes by. he's only unaffected in the brief stretch of time where he thinks you're teasing him. Because he's older than you, jaded, easy. When he realizes there's even the slightest bit of sincerity in your words, he suddenly can't look you in the eye.

It's a troublesome affair for him to have feelings for his junior. It's inappropriate, and he can't approach you in the way he likes. The way he likes being controlled and practiced. He's quite the gentleman. Later, you'll sure he'll wine and dine you nicely as a proper thank you. A man like that leaves no good deed unaccounted for.

But for now, you don't really want to let Nanami do anything for you. You've always wanted to do something for him. Break him down. Maybe it's your problem, since a man with that kind of neuroses always turns on the worst in you.

Still. Still. You can see something in him that no one else does, a desire to forget himself. You can give that to him without trying that hard at it, but it does take a lot of convincing.

He's got the handsomest face when he's embarrassed out of his fucking mind. He gets red. You've never seen it before - but his face is lit up. Pink up to his ears.

He's haphazard. Shirt unbuttoned but not off, tie loosened. He took off his pants but couldn't manage his boxers. You've been riling him up all evening, teasing and testing and pushing. When he finally kissed you later on in the evening, an expression close to a plea - you knew you had him where you wanted him.

So you made it to his apartment, kissed in his hallway, pulled him onto the couch and dry-humped like two idiot teenagers. He can't see him to control it after all your meticulous bullying and he looks so much better that way. Loosened up and picked apart.

He's so easy. It's unimaginable for you in some ways, that your cool and collected senior could break apart over something like this. He's normally so reserved, but you've breached some upper limit and now he's like this underneath you.

The muscles of his thighs are tense as you sit patiently between his legs, a hand on his knee with another wrapped around his shaft. you laugh a little at the state, the pre-cum dripping down your fingers and

"Nanami-san," you punctuate the honorifics "You alright up there?"

He lets out a sigh like he's been holding it in all evening. He tries so hard. So hard. You respect it, admire his endless resolve. He chokes down a sound as your hands grip around the base of his cock.

"Yes," He says, only barely masking the thin veil of desperation in his voice. He's almost begging you. You think you're probably awful enough to get him there "I'm fine."

"You sure? You're red in the face. Been a while? You seem like the serial monogamist type. When was the last time you got laid?"

In an act of unbelievable cruelty, you decide the best time to blow him is now. You open your jaw wide, stick your tongue out and let the spit pool onto the tip of his length. He hisses, almost bites a hole in his lip looking down at you in disbelief. His cock throbs painfully in your hand and you giggle - which makes him look down at you ashamed.

You blink innocently, silently imploring him to keep going. He sighs, an arm thrown over his eyes and his hand closed into a hard fist. You close your mouth around the head, minding your teeth. Nanami tastes like skin and salt and musk, but not unpleasant at all. His pre-cum taste clean, just like the rest of him is so prim and perfect. You dip your tongue into his slit, watching him squirm before taking him down even further.

"Could you please—for the love of—"

You slide off your mouth of to talk. You can't help but want to press his buttons.

"Come on, Nanami-san. You can withhold a little bit. You're so sturdy, y'know, more than I thought. Tell me about your sex life."

Nanami can recognize your words for what they are, because he knows you and the games you play with him. He frowns hard, meeting your eyes and closing his own with a sigh.

"I don't remember," Nanami tells you, honest - nearly biting a hole into his lower lip as you massage his balls with your hands, soft as you kiss down his shaft and lave your tongue over the thin skin "It's been a long time. Years."

"That so? You deserve an orgasm, Nanami-senpai. A good one. You really work hard," You punctuate every word with a touch, a squeeze before he shivers himself into a mess. "Every had anything up there?"

His eyes widen in shock and dismay, but not disgust.

"....A very, very long time ago."

"You okay with it?"

"....Well, yes. I guess so."

"Any lube?"

"There's uhm," Nanami stutters, rubs his eyes like he doesn't know where he is "Oil. In the drawer."

"Kay," You say, casually, patting his thigh as you reach over to get it and return to him no problem. He looks at you awestruck and you look back at him with nothing more to offer "Try and relax,"

You warm the oil up in your fingers first before you pull his cock up enough to touch his ass. The rim of muscle flutters as you touch it, slick thumb drawing circles around. He makes a noise you can't identify, followed by one you can. A moan, slight and quiet enough to go undetected. You grin silently as you ease a finger in, a thumb first then your pointer. Nanami breathes through the motion, and you move slow enough to get him to relax.

Once there's one, you go back to blowing him. He loosens up immediately when he feels the warmth of your mouth, hot and slick, suctioned around his cock. You relax your throat taking him deep, opening his ass at the same time.

It's more attention than he's had in a while. There's an unmistakble quality of lust, gargled words and sounds and shuddering. His chest is so flushed in the bare light of apartment he almost glows. You start with one finger and keep your blowing steady - start him easy with stimulation.

You get another, then another - and when your three fingers in, you decide you have some room to be relentless. Ruthless. You curl your fingers and search for his prostate. You know when you've found it because the sound he lets out is debauched.

It's easy - too easy, to get Nanami completely bent out of shape. Getting him this broken this fast almost feels like a trick of light - his dark brown eyes rimmed red and shaking. Such a composed gentlemanly sort moaning a fucking mess.

His strong chest is trembling as it rises up and down trying to catch a breath. You know when you find the spot because he nearly jerks his hips, but shows enough restraint not to do it. Not to fuck up into his throat animalistically like he wants so badly.

A well-trained man he is. You suppose all men can be a little like dogs.

So you reward him by deep-throating him. It takes all of your willpower and expertise but the reaction is more than worth it.

So polite, he doesn't even swear when he breaks underneath your ministrations. Doesn't cry, doesn't even scream when he wants too. His cock shudders and twitches and pulses against the warmth of your mouth, pre-cum streaming into your throat like a broken faucet. But he doesn't let himself cum, doesn't do anything but let you have your way with him.

No, he wants you to have your way with him.

You pull off and he whines. Whines. His voice, thick and deep, so pitched with need you almost want to laugh. You kiss his cock affectionately.

"You can cum when you feel like it. 'Kay?"

He just nods, speechless. Needy. You feel so good and a little sorry for him at the same time. But you're urged by a silent desire to ruin him at his very foundation.

So for the last time, you let your mouth come down on him and fuck him with your fingers. You give it everything, bobbing your hand and timing your rhythms well enough that your wrists hurt. It's a game of balance, but you manage it - because with even the slightest gestures or veritable movements, Nanami folds.

He caves in on himself, breathing ragged and practically drooling. Poor Nanami, you think. It's just so easy to get him this way, and it's fun too.

The words barely get out of his throat before he can warn you, frantically that he's going to cum. But you don't move, pushing forward and barrelling your way towards his orgasm. You can feel it happen on your tongue, cock twitching hard and he unloads deep into your throat.

You don't taste it so it's easy to swallow, and you swallow hard as you milk him making him pull you off in a desperate plea for mercy.

You laugh as you pull away from him, watching as he stares down at you awestruck and a little afraid. You wipe the corners of your mouth and smile.

"You're so sexy, Nanami-san,"

He groans in shame and embarrassment, still red to the tip of his ears.

"Enough out of you."

[blmpff]

Getting to know your BL mutuals - 2022 Edition

Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answers!

Thank you kindly for the tags @lelephantsnail and @gillianthecat ❣️ I enjoyed reading your posts as well! ❣️

(I got tagged on my main account @asdfghjklmpff but I'm answering here as I've made it my bl dedicated side blog 😊 Sorry for the wait!)

(just a heads up, I don't keep any lists nor master spread sheets or anything, I'm just writing down what comes to my head as I read the prompts)

What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?

First that comes to mind is Eternal Yesterday that's ending this friday, I completely wasn't expecting to be so into it, as I'm more of an action packed, and fast paced shows fan, but every week I am sat with my eyes glued to the screen.

Also Big Dragon, because I was expecting it to be like The One That Shall Not Be Named Fahlaruk level of toxic and trash, but it was surprisingly layered and meaningful, with lots of nuance.

Ghost Host Ghost House started slow for me, and I even considered dropping it, but when the main couple got together their chemistry blew me away and it made me appreciate the show more. I think the show didn't do a proper build up to the second conflict, but the couple ended up talking about the issue and it kinda made it up for me. Kevin and Pleum's chemistry is definitely one of my favorites this year.

Honorable mentions: Semantic Error, Old Fashion Cupcake, Minatos's Laundromat, DNA Says Love You, Blueming, My Only 12%, More Than Words, My Tooth Your Love, My Ride, To My Star 2 (bc we all know that sequels more often than not don't live up to the previous parts, but oh god was it good)

What has been the BL that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

Plus & Minus, I did genuinely like the show, but it really threw me off with that random break up at the end, and now I don't want to rewatch it at all, even up until those last two eps....

Check Out and Fahlanruk bc yeah... (hopes and prayers that P'Jojo gives us the proper enjoyable messy show we all want and deserve, and not the annoying (gestures everywhere) whatever these two were),

Ocean Likes Me I was really looking forward to seeing Holland act, and surprisingly I did like his acting, but what I had issues with was that it felt like half the plot/story ended up on the cutting room floor and it didn't feel put together enough to draw me in. Also, idk if it was the make up, lighting, or what, but the other guy looked so pale and sick all the time to me.

The Tuxedo!!! The actors had such great chemistry in all the bts footage I saw on my socials leading up to the release I was so hyped, and then the show came and I was so let down... The story made sense, but the execution wasn't there, and the directing/scene choreography was also lacking, and overall I ended up so disappointed... (funnily enough, it was my second time seing The House that's everywhere now lol, I had no idea it's going to be in half the thai productions this year)(The first time was in The Player, and the rest is history),

Love Class, I truly enjoy kbls, but I really didn't feel that one, and I'm surprised they got a second season confirmed.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

It's impossible to choose just one ;-; also it's almost all the same as the ones that surprised me, probably that's why they're one of my favorites

Korea: Semantic Error, Blueming, and Choco Milk Shake.

Thailand: Big Dragon, Between Us (duh), Ghost Host Ghost House, Bad Buddy and Not Me (they finished airing in 2022 it counts shh), Something in My Room (yes I know it's slow as hell, but somehow it charmed me and I ended up binging it till late am on a work day. also wtf was up with that alien plot)

Japan: More Than Words, Old Fashion Cupcake, Minato's Laundromat, Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai, Seven Days,

Taiwan: DNA Says Love You, About Youth (fuck those parents tho, and the father in particular)

What are your favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

(not the order of favoritism, just who comes to my mind first)

Pat x Pran - Bad Buddy

Da-woon x Si-won - Blueming

Nozue x Togawa - Old Fashion Cupcake

Jae-young x Sang-woo - Semantic Error

Seo-joon x Ji-woo - To My Star & TMS2

Jin Xun An x Bai Lang - My Tooth Your Love

Win x Team - UMWA/BU

Choco x Milk x JungWoo - Choco Milk Shake (not a couple I know, but try and tell me I'm wrong, I dare you)

Kevin x Pleum - Ghost Host Ghost House

Cake x Eiw - My Only 12%

Qiu Zi Xuan x Xia Yu Hao - History 2: Crossing The Line

Meng Shao Fei x Tang Yi - History 3: Trapped

Igawa Shun x Hibino Nagisa - His (2020)

Dan x Yok - Not Me (it's criminal how little time they got. hehe get it?)

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

This is going to sound the same as 99% of people I saw doing this, but it's true so here goes:

Softer ones: Semantic Error, Bad Buddy, Seven Days, Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai, Light On Me, Be Loved In House I Do, About Youth, We Best Love, Life; Love On The Line, To My Star 1 (then 2 if they're invested).

And more action packed: History 3: Trapped, Manner of Death, Long Time No See, 3 Will Be Free, KinnPorsche The Series (for VegasPete).

What's your non-BL favorite for this year?

Weak Hero Class 1, At a Distance Spring is Green (when I tell you I bawled my eyes out, and I don't cry like at all)

The Sandman, Bastard Son and The Devil Himself (recommended for all you 3 Will Be Free enthusiasts, like myself), Wendel and Wild (bc I love Coraline and it's by the same guy, also the rep)

Barbaren

I probably missed a lot, but it's long enough already 😅

As for the tags I feel like everyone's done that already, but if someone haven't yet and would like to, consider yourself tagged! <3

@loooreleii @seung-sung and @varis-world maybe, if you want to? 😊

[validtrollnames]

Whatis Thesex Iestna Meinth Eworld? is a valid troll name 

No, really, what is it, I’m curious. 

[imasimpforstevengrant]

Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

[dr-dean]

Natural Nesting

AO3 Link   Square Filled: Nesting Ship: Endverse Castiel / Dean Smith Rating: Teen Tags: Alpha Castiel, Omega Dean, Drug Use, Past Homeless Cas, Rehab,  Summary: Cas is working thru his issues as he goes to rehab and starts nesting. Dean is supportive and impressed. Word Count: 2,239 Written/Created for @spnabobingo

A/N: Part two of my Endverse Cas/ Dean Smith series, find part 1 here. Many thanks to my lovely betas @blue-reveries and @paperannxo

When Dean came home from work, his apartment smelled better than it ever had. Cas was lying on the couch surrounded by blankets and pillows with the laptop and a notebook.

“Honey, I’m home,” Dean sing-songed.

“Dean!” Cas smiled and looked up from the computer. “I did a lot of research and have some good rehab options. I also made dinner. I know that you don’t want to eat carbs, so I made lasagna with veggies instead of noodles and lean chicken instead of ground beef, but there is still some cheese in it. I used the low fat kind though. Is that ok? Will you eat it? I also got stuff to make salad if you want.”

Dean took off his suit jacket and tie, went over to the couch, removed the laptop from Cas’ lap and put it on the coffee table, and took the laptop’s place on top of Cas. “That sounds great, alpha.” Dean scented Cas’ neck. The opioid smell that had clung to him since they met was not as bad, but the pot smell still clung to him. “Did you smoke in my apartment?”

“No, Dean!” Cas sounded offended, “I would never do that! This is our home! Our nest! I want to keep this place safe for you, for us. I went outside to smoke. But I haven’t popped any pills today. I want to get clean for you.” Cas looked away from Dean and stared at the floor, “For us.”

“You smell better today.” Dean relaxed back onto his alpha.

“I do?” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean to pull him in even closer.

“Yeah, you smell less like the drugs and more like you.”

The oven timer beeped. Cas sighed, “As much as I would like not to move right now, I don’t want dinner to burn. Are you hungry? Do you want to eat right now or wait a bit?”

Dean stretched and got up off of Cas and helped him off the couch. “Now sounds good. Then we can hop back into your nest after dinner.”

~~~~~

Cas started rehab on Monday. Dean went down there after work to see Cas and meet with his counselor.

Cas’ counselor Garth was a pretty happy go lucky type of guy.

“Dean! It's good to meet you, man. Cas and I have been talking a lot about you. Here are some informational brochures about our rehab center, the process, dos and don'ts during recovery, and what to expect. Read them over and if you have any questions call or email me. Castiel here has a great shot at making a full recovery with you on his side. Because he was recently homeless there is going to be some added psychological issues. Just know that nesting is a perfectly normal stage of recovery, and it's important for you to not discourage any nesting behaviors and to go along with it.”

Dean nodded, he was going to do everything that he could to make sure that Cas got better. “He’s already started nesting. From the first full day he was in my apartment. We spent the entire weekend in a nest he made on the couch looking at different rehab programs.”

Garth smiled. “That's good! It’s important for him to feel safe and secure. And with finding you less than a week ago, I agree with your decision to do an outpatient program. It’s important for Cas to feel like he’s not going to lose you. However, because he wants to quit cold turkey we are going to have to keep him here as an in patient for a leat a week to keep an eye on his withdrawl symptoms. You can still come during visitor hours everyday and I would recommend doing so. You’re his number one motivation for getting better, Dean. He wants so badly to be an alpha who deserves you and can take care of you. Having a reason to get clean like that, it's the best thing we can hope for in a patient. When they want to do it for themselves, and not because someone else is making them do it, is when we get the best results. And Cas seems very motivated.”

“So you think he has a good shot a beating this?” Dean asked hopefully.

Garth leaned in like he was going to tell Dean a secret. “I think if you stick with him, he has every shot at beating this.”

~~~~~

Dean went to visit Cas everyday after work. Cas seemed positive, but he was having a hard time sleeping thru the night. They were able to retreat to Cas’ room (with the door open) and Cas was able to get an hour of uninterrupted sleep if he curled around Dean with his nose in Dean’s neck scenting him.

The drug cocktail of clonidine, dicyclomine, klonopin and pot was helping keep the withdrawl symptoms manageable, but Cas still had a major addiction to kick. He was still having night sweats, waking up in the middle of the night and having problems keeping food down. Garth said it was all normal and that Castiel was dealing well. Dean still worried and couldn’t wait to bring his mate home.

~~~~~

When Castiel was finally able to come home with Dean his nesting only intensified as time went on. Now Dean couldn’t even see the couch, it was covered in so many blankets and pillows. His bedroom was even worse, Cas had taken the mattress and boxspring off of his frame (and dismantled the frame so that there was more room for the nest) to put it on the ground, and covered it with blankets and pillows as well.

“Where are you getting all this stuff Cas?” It all smelled clean and new, but Dean still had to make sure.

Castiel looked a little guilty. “Well, I’ve been cutting coupons to make the money that you give me for groceries last longer. Then I’ve been going to HomeGoods to see what they have on clearance that is nice and soft. Garth has reassured me that it is normal part of recovery and that I shouldn’t stifle my nesting instincts.”

“So you’ve been penny pinching with your allowance to be able to afford this?” Dean was impressed, he’d never been one for coupon cutting but it must be saving a ton if Cas can afford all of this. It wasn’t as if Dean gave him much money to start with, but Garth had said it would be good for Cas’ recovery if the alpha could feel like a useful part of the household, and feel like he was taking care of his omega.

So Dean gave him an allowance and Cas took over the grocery shopping and cooking. And now Dean came home to a healthy home cooked meal every day; Castiel even packed him salads to bring to work for lunch. They had their routine with Cas going to rehab when Dean left for work every weekday. Then Cas would swing by the grocery store to pick up things for dinner and lunch the next day for Dean and cook dinner each night to be ready by the time Dean got home.

“I also haven’t been spending money on drugs, even pot. I can’t, I need to save all I can to build a proper nest!” Castiel looked proud. Before meeting Dean he would have been spending all of his money on drugs and not nesting supplies.

Dean pulled Cas in for a hug. “I’m so proud of you baby.”

The next day at work Dean may have bought a ‘nesting set’ of matching fuzzy blankets and pillows that was on sale on Amazon.

Dean used to be a neat freak. He liked everything in its place in his sleek modern apartment. But he has gotten used to the comfort of a nest, and he’s not sure if he can go back.

Castiel’s nesting has gotten so bad, that Dean had to give him a low limit credit card (so what if it was the store card to HomeGoods, he was spending so much money there he might as well get the points for it). And almost every day Dean came home to something new in the nest (he’s stopped calling it his apartment, even in his head. Cas has turning it into their nest, and he could never go back).

Garth said that it was doing great things for Castiel’s recovery.

Cas hadn’t had a single opioid pill since he entered rehab, and his withdrawal symptoms had been minimal. He still smoked pot, but it seemed like he was just bumming hits off of others in his rehab program, never spending money on it or bringing it home. Apparently, smoking pot at the rehab was encouraged, as they could do it in a controlled environment where the staff could make sure it wouldn’t spiral out into other bad behavior and it would help keep some of the worst withdrawal symptoms at bay.

Other drugs where used to wean people off depending on their addiction (Cas continued his lessened prescriptions of on clonidine, dicyclomine, and klonopin because of the positive response.  When the withdrawal weaned and with the go-ahead from the doctor, hopefully in the future the only medication he'd need was to treat his anxiety.  Even with his soulmate, sobriety was daunting but he was on the road to recovery), but pot seemed to be the drug of choice as it was non habit forming itself and patients weren’t at risk for trading one addiction for another.

After being in rehab for a month, it brought a whole new level onto Cas’ nesting. They started painting as a safe way to express themselves and decompress. Dean let Cas spend extra money to buy canvases instead of painting on the paper that rehab gave them. Cas’ canvases were good. They were bright, cheery and hopeful. Cas painted fields of flowers with honeybees. Or a clock shop filled with little fairy workers. Or a classic muscle car out on the open road. Or pictures of Dean and Cas looking into each other's eyes and smiling.

Those ones were Dean’s favorites.

He even painted one of them hold hands, showing off their soulmate marks. They had completely filled up the wall space in the living room, and now were slowly creeping in the hallway towards the bedroom. Dean hoped that Cas would be done with rehab before there was no more wall space left in their nest.

Luckily for Dean (and their walls), the following month the counselors encouraged Cas to try to get a job again. Dean even helped him with his resume and his LinkedIn page. They set up meeting with recruiters who specialized in accounting and by the end of the month he had a full time job and graduated from going to rehab full time, to just one day a week after work for counselling and a checkup to make sure that he hadn’t slipped up.

Once Cas started working, the nesting eased up. He no longer brought home things everyday. He even returned a few thing that still had the tags on them. A month later Cas put the bed back together and got Space Bags for many of the over fluffed blankets and pillows.

“You ok, Cas?” Dean asked when he came home from work to find that the livingroom was no longer overtaken by blankets and pillows. Dean could even see the couch for the first time in four months. Granted, it still had way more pillows and blankets then it had on it before Cas moved in, but still...it felt a little off.

“Yes, Dean. As much as I was nesting, I think it's time to get our lives in order. I still want the apartment to be comfortable, but it was getting hard to walk around and move. It's much easier to get up in the morning when the bed is on the frame. And it's much easier to move around the apartment when you are not tripping all over blankets and pillows. Only the kitchen and bathroom were useable rooms. I apologize for going overboard with my nesting and overtaking your entire apartment with it.”

Dean shook his head. “It was fine, baby. I didn’t mind. Anything to help with your recovery. But if you are ready to clean up, I can help. Where did everything go anyways?”

“Space Bags are very efficient at making things take up much less space. So far I have been able to fit everything into the linen closet. That way if either of us gets hit with a nesting bug again, we won't have to spend anything to get a nest built up again.” Cas seals a bag and uses the vacuum to suck out all the air and show Dean. “See? It's now 1/10th the size.” Cas stood up and smiled, he looked proud of what he had done.

“That's great Cas. I didn’t know that those things actually worked.”

“Oh yes, Dean. I’m almost done cleaning up here. But maybe if you could set the table? I already have dinner in the oven. It still needs another 20 minutes. But I should be done here in that time. You can get out of your suit, set the table, and open a bottle of wine. Then we can have dinner.”

“Sounds great Cas.”