#I agree but also hush 🥲

[luveline]

begging on my hands and knees (if you haven’t already) for you to write something about Aaron during the birth of your child 🥲🥲 and jack’s reaction to meeting his new sibling

You suffer through labour, Aaron dotes, and Jack meets his baby sister. fem, 2k

cw for labour/delivery, no graphic imagery

For some people, giving birth is a fast affair. Dilation occurs quickly, and after twenty or so pushes, a baby is born. Some people can go into labour and be finished within the hour. 

You, unfortunately, have not had that kind of luck. And that’s okay —it’s also entirely normal for this process to be difficult. Doesn’t make it hurt any less to watch, but Aaron has thick skin. Who cares what he’s feeling? You’re about to have a baby. 

He stands at the head of the bed with his arm over your pillow, tired despite himself, a styrofoam cup of ice chips in his hand. He presses it to your cheek, and every couple of minutes he changes it to the other one. Your forehead is wet with sweat, your face puffy with sobbing tears, but you’re beautiful in your sleep. Beautiful to him. 

He leans down to press a kiss to your forehead where he stays for some time. Your heart monitor beeps. 

A few minutes later, your heart monitor jumps. A strike of pain to warn of an oncoming contraction. 

You drag yourself from sleep to find his eyes. “Hi,” you whisper. 

He doesn’t know what to say. What can sum it up? Aaron doesn’t think he’s felt this many emotions in his life; he thinks of Jack, his baby face, and he thinks of Haley squishing his pink cheeks; he thinks of your hands, how chapped your palms are, how much he hates to see you crying like this; he thinks of your little baby so close to being here, and all your months of triumph and love and good luck to get to this moment. 

This is the biggest privilege of his life, in line with Jack’s birth. 

He doesn’t feel like he deserves it, but he makes himself a man who could deserve you. “Hello,” he says, pressing the back of his hand to your raging forehead. “How are you feeling?” 

“It has to be time soon.” 

“You think so? Should I find someone?” 

He speaks in solid but hushed tones, as though a raised voice might hurt you more. You find his chest to press your hand to space above his heart, where you give him a little rub back and forth. “No,” you say, tears welling in your eyes as the monitor spikes, “not yet.” 

He helps you into a sitting position which quickly becomes a bent over and keening position. Aaron obviously doesn’t know how childbirth feels, but he has experienced his own scar tissue ripping apart inside his abdomen as his organs flooded with his own blood. By the looks of it, you’re hurting worse than that. You don’t even speak. Your moans turn to panicked shouting before you get so scared your voice disappears. 

He doesn’t like it at all. He waits a good long minute with you for the pain to pass, his hand in yours as you squeeze it to mulch, his nose pressed remorsefully to your cheek. It fades like all the others. 

“I know,” he says as you start to cry in earnest, “it’s over. It’s over.” 

“It’s not over,” you snip, sniffing. 

He leans over your lap to press the button that asks for help. “You’re doing amazing.” 

It’s a hard night. At nearing one in the morning, they measure your dilation and agree it’s time to push. You tolerate it well, but it still takes two and a half hours of agony and tears. Aaron doesn’t cry, but he does feel an acute ache for you, and an excitement you probably can’t feel yourself. Every push is one step closer to the baby. 

Just after three hours, when the midwives are whispering to one another in concern and Aaron is sure he’ll never feel his left hand again, you have a baby. 

She’s snipped, cleaned up, and laid gently on your chest within seconds. You’ll never know how whole and brimming Aaron’s heart feels in that moment, to see you crying against the little forehead of your baby, to watch your arms cradle her body tenderly. 

He’s sure everyone in the room will forgive him for crying too. Just a couple of tears, smiling as you look down at her in pure joy. No shock, no sign of all that pain. 

“Oh, fuck, Aaron,” you say suddenly, to the delight of everyone in the room, “she’s got your frown.” 

She’s screaming, as babies tend to do. Aaron presses himself as close as he can to confirm the wrinkle between her brows. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, kissing your cheek. 

You breathe out deeply. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” 

Sorry for the pain and gunk. You forgive him for everything. 

You’re feeling nearly yourself again when morning comes, Aaron can tell. Showered, changed, swaddled with post-labour padding and with half a sandwich in your stomach, he can nearly forget the sound of your panicked crying. You’re hoarse as though you’ve been out for the night with friends, whispering clumsy love notes to your daughter where she naps in your lap. 

“So pretty,” you say, running an awed fingertip over her nose, “so beautiful, baby. You’re so beautiful. Look at your liccle nose.” You dip into sugar. “Aw, look at your nose.” 

“That’s your nose,” he says. 

“I think so.” 

She’s a baby so it’s hard to say for sure, but Aaron hopes she has your lovely nose and that she looks exactly like you, if she only keeps his wrinkled brow. 

You lean back. The bed has been wiped down and changed, your pillow from home propped behind your shoulders. Jack’s good luck talisman sits on the night table, waiting for him to visit. Aaron has been away for weeks, sometimes months at a time, and still he misses him after not seeing him these last eighteen hours. 

“He’s on his way, right?” you ask, noticing Aaron’s quiet. 

Aaron picks up Mr. Bear where he sits on the nightstand and massages the teddy’s arms and stomach. “Can’t you hear him?”

“My sister!” Jack is saying, words too fast to pick up each one, “Jess, we have to be faster!” 

“I’m going as fast as I can, sweetheart!” 

Aaron meets him at the door. Jack sees his father, probably just the shape of him, and starts to run down the hallway. He slams into Aaron’s legs, who pulls him up against his chest for a two-armed hug that he couldn’t need more. 

“Jackers,” he says in relief.

“Dad, put me down!” He must see you over Aaron’s shoulder. “Y/N! You’re okay!” 

“I’m more than okay, handsome! Were you worried about me?” 

“Is that my baby?” he says, rubbing his eyes with both hands.

You, Aaron and Jess all laugh. “Your baby sister. Are you gonna come and say hello? She’s been waiting for hours for you to wake up,” you say.

“I was waiting for her for hours first,” Jack says, climbing over Aaron’s shoulder, and then slipping back down as his father walks him into the hospital room to stop by your bed. 

Jess stays by the door. 

Aaron puts Jack on the bed beside you where there’s not much room for him, hands clasped around his arms just in case he does something sudden. “Oh,” Jack says, breathing out slowly. “Wow, dad.” 

“Wow,” Aaron echoes. 

“Can I touch her?” 

Assured he’ll be careful, Aaron lets Jack loose, and the boy waits for your signal before he pokes at the baby’s fisted hand. 

“She’s really little, huh?” you ask quietly. 

“Was I this little?” 

“You were smaller,” Aaron whispers. 

“She’s a real baby, dad.” 

“She’s super real. Does she look like you pictured?” Aaron asks. 

“No, I thought she’d look more like me.” 

This is really funny to you. Careful, you hold the baby to your chest and free an arm to cup Jack’s shoulder. “Buddy, I missed you. Aunt Jess says you stayed up past your bedtime, how are you feeling?” 

He smiles and goes shy at the same time. “I’m okay. I missed you, too.” 

“That’s good, I’m feeling good too.” You sniffle. 

“Are you sure?” Jack asks. 

“This is the best day ever. My little girl meeting her big brother.” You take a steadying breath, and you turn the baby toward Jack gently. “Do you wanna hold her?” 

Jack sits against your pillows and waits with pale terror on his face for you to pass him the baby. He bends over her as soon as she’s been placed, worried she’ll tip out of his lap, and you stroke the short brown strands of his hair, crops of it moving shiny under your touch. 

Aaron takes his phone from his pocket. In his rush, he struggles to find the capture button, recording a video instead that will take up most of the memory on his old phone and that he will refuse to part with. 

“Did she look like this in your belly?” Jack asks you, frowning. 

“Not the whole time. Why, does that bother you?” 

“Was she squished?” 

“No, she wasn’t squished. ‘Member how big my belly was?” You laugh warmly. “How big it still is.” 

“Will it ever be small again?” 

“Maybe somebody. I don’t mind.” You stroke his hair again. Baby makes a wet noise. “What do you think, lovely?” 

“About your belly?” 

“About the baby.” 

“I wish I was her.” 

You stroke behind his ear. “How come?” 

“I’m so tired, I wish I was sleeping too. But she is really small.” 

Aaron catches your relieved smile before he puts down the phone. “Do you want a nap, buddy? We can take a nap.” 

“I can take him home?” Jess suggests quietly. 

Aaron thanks her for everything. When you’re feeling better, he’s sure you’ll want to introduce Jess to the baby as well, but Jess doesn’t want to impose, and Aaron lets her go without fuss. Perhaps it’s a little hard on her to see. He doesn’t know. 

But Jess is a good woman, and he knows she’ll want to meet your baby whenever you’re ready. For now, it’s just you, Aaron, Jack, and the baby Hotchner.

Aaron sits in the plastic wrapped chair by the bed and leans back to accommodate sleepy Jack, who falls asleep with little more than a back rub and his family’s proximity. You look like you could sleep, too, but you won’t put the baby in the bassinet. You hold her and watch her for a soothing stretch of time, Aaron watching you both. 

“He’ll be more enthusiastic after he’s slept,” Aaron promises. 

You pucker and press teeny kisses to the baby’s ear. “He was perfect,” you murmur. “He was so gentle. We’re so lucky.” 

Aaron reaches over to hold your hand. You indulge him with an open palm, the two of you shushing in tandem as your children rouse, both of them perfect, and both parents very lucky. 

[luffysinterlude]

Could you write a drabble of Luffy excited to see reader again in Zou?

BITTERSWEET LOVE CONFESSIONS. . .

★ summary: luffy’s so excited to see you again on zou. (gn!reader)

★ warnings: one piece antics, pre-wci spoilers kinda, sorta ooc! luffy, a lil angst, reader’s an overthinker (wc: ≈1100? is this considered a drabble?)

★ an: ty for allowing me to whip up something to feed my creative side!! i rushed through this though i’ll admit 🥲 but i hope it’s somewhat close to what you were expecting, anon! i’m still trying to get back into writing, so please excuse any grammar/spelling errors TT…also, happy nami day!! my favorite girl <33

luffy’s so so excited.

he’s excited to continue his journey on the grand line, in the new world, his next stop zou to pick up the rest of his crew and hopefully enjoy a nice meal. he’s excited to tell the rest of them about his reunion with sabo, what he’s learned on dressrosa, and to catch up on what’s been happening while he was dealing with business.

but more importantly (though he might never say it out loud, because it’s obvious) he’s excited to see you.

it feels as if the two of you haven’t gotten alone time together since reuniting at sabaody. you promised him you’d tell him all about your training during the two years the crew was separated, but there’s just not enough down time to do so.

as soon as the poorly drawn dragon made its way up the elephant’s leg, luffy wasted no time in his search for you. he was eager to see your face again. to hear your voice. to feel your presence. robin giggled at her captain’s behavior, mentally agreeing with him: wanting to see you and nami again (and her chopper and the crew’s skeleton, too).

“YNNNNNNN!!! where are you?” usopp’s eyes shot out of his head as he looked up and saw his captain standing on a tall wall. “CHOPPER!! NAMI!! SANJI!! BROOK!! YN!! DRAGON BOY!!”

“LUUUUUFFY?! GET DOWN HERE!” usopp screamed. “you’re going to draw attention towards us — we don’t need it!!” law watched as the four of them — zoro, robin, franky and usopp (despite just scolding him) — sighed and continued walking forward. what an odd group of individuals. he must be a handful. the doctor decided to follow the rest of the straw hats, choosing to ignore their captain’s loud antics.

+x+

nami’s voice shook you awake from your slumber, your eyes blurry as you rubbed your forehead. you’re grateful to have been able to get some sleep, your mind still trying to process what’s been happening these days. too much thinking. miss him so much.

“let’s go outside,” nami suggests. “i think they’re finally here.”

upon hearing the words you’ve craved to hear since you’ve arrived on the walking elephant, you jump from your spot and rushed outside. you’re greeted with the crew mates you left on dressrosa, eyes taking in their forms searching for any injuries. after you’ve decided that they’re all in pretty good shape, your attention returns to the loud boy who stood before you.

“LUFFY!” you shout, legs moving towards him without hesitation, almost as if he was magnetizing. you throw your arms around his frame and jump into his embrace, the warmth of his skin meeting yours. his right hand immediately grabs hold of the back of your head, the other steadying your waist in place. he’s about to tell you how much he’s missed you, until you beat him with a hushed whisper in his ear.

“i’m so, so sorry, Lu. sanji…” you start. “we couldn’t stop him.” you’re standing a foot away from him now, head hanging in shame as luffy processes your words. his hands rest on your shoulders, your eyes ignoring his gaze.

the others who joined him on dressrosa collectively let out their confusion, wondering what could’ve happened in the short amount of time they’ve been on dressrosa. you feel luffy’s left hand move from your shoulder to under your chin,

“tell me, yn.”

+x+

you’re all sat in a circle as your captain listens to everyone explaining what’s happened since the twirly hat’s arrival on zou. luffy’s right beside you, digging into his food as your mind fills with memories as nami explains the whole situation regarding sanji. you feel luffy shift slightly, his left arm wrapping around your waist, the other still indulging the meal set in front of him. his attention remains on nami, but the grip on your waist tightens at every mention of you.

after eating, the two of you are able to find some alone time. it’s awkward at first, sitting side by side on a brick wall that guarded the cat viper’s castle. you feel small in his presence as both of you watch the sun set.

“i’ve missed you,” you break the silence. “it’s been a while since we’ve been together.”

luffy’s cheeks are painted with a light blush, a smile forming on his face. “i missed you too yn! been thinking of you ever since you left me on dressrosa — actually, haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since two years ago!”

you return the smile, gaze locking in on his as he brings your body closer to his. his warmth meets your chilled skin, a kiss pressed to the top of your head as you lean into his shoulder.

“have you been okay? doflamingo wasn’t too harsh on you, was he?” you pry. you’ve researched the warlords and came to the conclusion that donquixote doflamingo is — or was — the worst of the seven. when it clicked on punk hazard that doflamingo would be the next victim to fall to luffy, you weren’t sure how to feel. a ton of emotions hit you all at once, but then again, this is the new world. you have to expect the worst.

“oh, mingo? he was this big shot and i’m glad i was able to bring him down. he was doing some really terrible things on the island. but! i did get to see my brother, sabo! you remember me telling you about him, right? turns out he’s been working under my dad for some time now! it’s crazy how the world works,” he eagerly tells you. “he was really hoping to meet you, you know? but i told him you were dealing with business over here — so maybe next time. he also made me a vivre card! it’s in robin’s bag but i’ll be sure to give you a piece when we go back in. hmm, what else?”

you smile as you watch the boy place a hand under his chin and think of events to tell you. you watch as his face changes into many different emotions, and you can’t help but sigh lovingly at the sight.

“hmm? you okay yn?” you shake your head no at the question, inhaling deeply before replying,

“just happy you’re back. missed you so so much. thinking about how much i love you,” warmth filled your face as you realized your last sentence was the first time you’d ever said that to him, eyes darting back to the open sea in front of you.

“huuuuuuuuh?! finally! i love you too, yn. maybe even more! sanji told me i should wait for you to tell me first, but i realized i loved you a long time ago!” luffy’s words were accompanied by his arms wrapping around you once again. he’s always been physical, but this time, you can feel the love radiating off of him. he pulls away and suddenly, your lips are on his. you kiss back instantly, something you’ve craved for a long time; before, luffy’s kisses were always mere pecks. your reunification on sabaody proved that luffy had matured a lot the past two years, but this kiss seals the deal.

“i’ll never leave you, y’know? i kind of wanted you to stay with me on dressrosa,” luffy says as he pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. “but i came to conclusion that you’re strong! which is why i put you in charge. you all made it safely, which was what i told you to do, right? despite what came after…” make sure you and the others arrive on zou safely, yn! you’re now both facing each other, with legs crossed. you quickly think about how high up the two of you are, but the wave of worry vanishes when you remember the bright boy that sat in front of you.

“we’ll get sanji back. we’ll have all our friends together again, so don’t worry. we’re in this together, right?” the words sounded so sweet falling from his lips, and you felt like crying. “it’s a goal of mine to watch you achieve your dream, and so far it’s been a pleasure. don’t plan on missing out!”

seeing the sparkle in his eyes despite the sun setting, made you grab his face with both hands and bring his lips to yours. you poured all the love in your body into the kiss, hoping he’d experience the same feeling you felt when he had kissed you earlier.

“and i’ll be there for your coronation, King.” you smiled at him, turning your body back to the open sea, one you were once afraid of. luffy helped you overcome it; you loved voyaging and the thrill that the ocean offers. you can’t wait to see everyone reach their life dreams, knowing that it’ll happen with the help of the man who sat next to you.

minutes pass you both watched as a pretty shade of dark blue painted the periwinkle sky, in a comfortable silence accompanied by waves clashing against zunesha’s legs.

“….so does that mean we’re technically married now?!”

“luffy..”

+x+

★ an: ty for reading!! please lmk what you thought! constructive criticism is always welcomed! :)

[iz-nomewrites]

Goodness gracious! The boys are fighting *squints* wait... no… It appears I was mistaken they’re… oh gosh… oh my

To and for @brainrotwriter @brainrotgoverner , take your gay cowboys with you. Oh, farmer Chase and warlock Buddy 😂 damn, thats hot

A fic I would’ve posted if I still had ao3 🥲.

———————————————————————-

The cool midnight breeze passes between them two as they rested on a stack of hay tucked into the corner of the barn. Chase was busy, playing a slow, gentle tune on the banjo, humming to himself, and Buddy drinks from the single flask of whiskey the boy had brought a while ago.

He was a runaway, and he had just managed to escape from the clutches of Ex Libris, Chase helping him with the aid of his trusty noble steed. And now he was in hiding, unbeknownst to Chase’s grandpa as he lived right under his nose with all his other livestock.

Chase was supposed to tell the senior, but Buddy had pleaded him not to yet, in fear of being shunned by the old man. Chase tried to convince him that his grandpa wouldn’t, but seeing the look of Buddy’s face as he begged in a quiet whisper, he agreed that in the meantime, it would be their little secret.

The moonlight bleeds through the wooden planks that haven’t quite covered up the hole in the roof, illuminating the handsome features of the blonde, the smooth curvature of his nose, the slight prominence of his cheekbones, and his soft golden bangs that hang above chestnut brown eyes which shined like a million stars.

His gaze was steady as he plucked the strings with the precision of a beginning apprentice on the lute, but his focus was like that of a trained musician as his fingers moved from fret to fret.

It was intoxicating.

He takes another swig from the flask, savoring the liquor from the rim of the bottle where Chase also drank from a while ago with an agonizing slowness. He runs his tongue over his lips, wiping the corner of his mouth with his thumb.

How he wished it was his lips on his rather than the cold steel of the whiskey flask.

…But then again… he doesn’t really have to wish does he?

He leans forward on one arm where he sat on the haystack, taking the boy’s chin with his other hand, turning it to face him. Chase’s eyes widened as his chestnut eyes met his own piercing icy blues. An adorable blush made its way onto the blonde’s cheeks, dusting his sun kissed skin a pale pink.

“Uh.. Buddy—”

”Shh,” he hushes him, resting his palm on the boy’s cheek, cradling his jaw. “I never gave you that reward for whisking me away didn’t I?” he says in a low and sultry tone, shortening the distance between them with the slick ease of a cat, but before he could connect their lips together, he whispers, breath hot, fanning over his lips and he could smell the whiskey clogging through his nose. “So what will it be lover boy?”

Whether it was in the heat of the moment or inebriation, Buddy doesn’t know, but Chase manages to close the gap between them, mouth slotting easily into his and when he closes his eyes, he can still taste the whiskey in the boy’s mouth, and it’s sweeter than he remembers it was before.

[iluvchick3nz]

I feel like all my asks are leo centric I’m sorry 🥲🥲 I JUST LOVE HIM! Anyway I’ve always been fascinated with the gray streak in Leo’s hair and the scar on his head if you think you can write anything about that!

No apologies necessary. Leo Knut deserves to be loved like that! O'Hara and Tremblay are the presidents of the Sunshine Fan Club after all.

Have some contemplative Dad Wyatt, some snarky Eloise, and (as usual) some Leo-obsessed FinnLo!

All credits to @lumosinlove !!

Leo was an active 5-year-old. In many ways, Wyatt was grateful for that. He was always willing to go for a swim, a walk with Eloise, skating at the rink, basketball in the park. He was an easy-going kid, too; he wasn’t fussy, was very polite, friendly and a bit shy. All in all, Wyatt counted himself lucky to have such a wonderful son, such a wonderful wife, such a wonderful life.

This day, however, was testing his patience. 

“Leo, honey,” Eloise was saying, a bit exapserated. She had driven them out to a cove on their motorboat and was sat on the high stool near the wheel. “Please be careful near the windshield, I don’t want you to hit your head.”

Wyatt could tell Leo was also exasperated, but he nodded anyways. “Yes, mama.”

She leaned down to frame his head with her hands and kissed his blonde curls. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“But it’s easier to grip there if I move the ladder!”

Eloise sighed and looked over at Wyatt. “Then have your daddy and I help you on further down the side, okay? Please? Just until you’re older and your arms are longer.”

Leo bit his lip. Even as a young boy, Leo was very careful with his words, just like his father. Wyatt smiled at him and nodded encouragingly. 

“Okay,” Leo said. “I’m sorry, mama.”

“Don’t be sorry, baby,” she replied gently. “Why don’t you hop back in, huh? Then we’ll go back home. Daddy’s going to grill some steak.”

Wyatt sat up. “You wanna help me bud? I’ll teach you how to use the grill. We can make the steak sauce together, too.”

Leo nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!” He scurried to the ledge, stood with one foot up, and yelled as he jumped off into the water. 

Eloise laughed and came to sit on Wyatt’s lap in the shade of the canopy. “You know, we’ll make a chef out of him, yet.”

Wyatt rubbed a hand up and down her thigh. “Or an athlete. He’s got enough energy for an entire army.”

“Eats enough for one, too, my Lord.” Eloise blew out air through her cheeks. “He’s going to cost us a fortune in food when he’s older.”

Wyatt just took her cheek in his hands. “Hey,” he said. She turned and smiled at him, leaning in for a kiss. “We did good.”

“Yes.” Eloise’s teeth were white against her tan skin, her blonde curls, exactly like their sons, bobbing as she nodded. “We did.” She pressed their foreheads together. “He’s a very special boy, our Leo.”

Before Wyatt could agree, Leo was calling out for them.

“Mama, daddy! There is this huge plant that’s growing from the bottom, come-” 

There was a clunk, and a cry, and then Eloise was looking up abruptly and pulling out of Wyatt’s arms, rushing over to where Leo was lying on the floor of the boat. There was blood, stark on the white paint of the material, and Leo was curled up and whimpering. Eloise jerked her head to Wyatt. “Get me the First Aid Kit! We gotta go back to shore.” She hushed Leo gently, elevating his head in her arms while Wyatt scrambled for their emergency bag. “Sh, sh, baby it’s okay. Mama’s got you, sweetheart, you’ll be just fine.” She placed a kiss right beside the cut just as Wyatt kneeled down beside them. “The gauze please, Wy.”

Wyatt didn’t know how his wife was so calm, cool, and collected while he was inwardly freaking out. His hands shook as he opened the case, pulling out a roll of the white fabric and handing it to his wife. She thanked him, holding Leo in the crook of her elbow with one arm to press the material to her son’s head. When Wyatt still didn’t move, she turned to him. 

“Wyatt, to the shore. If we need to go to the hospital, we need to be on land.”

Wyatt scrambled up. “Right. Right, okay.” He took the key from the seat and turned on the motor, muttering to himself. “Right, the shore. The land, then the hospital.”

And with Leo’s whimpers as their background music, he turned them towards the boat launch.

***

“When did it start going gray like this, Le?”

Leo looked up at Finn and then to his father with questioning eyes. “I don’t know. Dad?”

Wyatt walked over to find Leo and his boys sat on the couch in their living room, where Eloise had once again brought out a photo album for them to peruse. The particular photo they were looking at was Leo in the hospital after he’d banged his head. He’d gotten a few staples, the scar not incredibly visible now due to the sheer quantity of hair he had, and the photo showed him with a bandage wrapped around his head and smiling with a lollipop in his mouth. Eloise was sat beside him, laughing, and stroking his hair back from his face. 

“I don’t know,” Wyatt answered. “Not for a couple of weeks.” He chuckled softly. “I remember when you first noticed it. You got really freaked out that you’d been possessed or something.”

Leo rolled his eyes and blushed when Finn laughed. “Did a New Orleans monster of the deep possess you, baby?”

Wyatt smiled fondly. “Let’s just say he had an active imagination.”

Logan reached up to play with the gray strands. Wyatt couldn’t count the number of times he had done the exact same thing during Leo’s childhood. It jolted his heart, still, to see someone newer doing that to Leo. Finn and Logan were gentle with him in a way not many other people were. Mostly, people tended to look over Leo, or used his sweet disposition to their advantage- Wyatt didn’t know all of the details of his high school relationship, but he knew that Leo was treated unfairly. He and Eloise had noticed him retreating in on himself, and they were slightly worried when he’d gone off to the NHL, alone and newly out to them. But then he’d call them and talk about his roommates, at home and on the road, smiling and laughing and with a twinkle in his eyes that had Eloise and Wyatt exchanging knowing looks. It hadn’t been the plan, their Leo dating two of his teammates, but though it was a surprise, it was also a joyful revelation. He smiled more easily now, laughed harder than he ever had anywhere else, except for maybe in their home. And he was obviously in love and committed for the long haul. Wyatt remembered that exact feeling when he’d brought Eloise home for the first time to his parents. They were out in the country, a typical Cajun household, and were overjoyed that Eloise wanted to know them, to cook with them, to speak French with them. He remembered feeling so in love the first time she’d gone fishing with him and his father, prepared crab with his mother and older brother. He felt proud of Leo for finding that love, even if it was in an unlikely place.

“I think it suits you, soleil,” Logan said, interrupting Wyatt’s musings. “It’s like a ray of sunshine.”

“Yeah!” Finn agreed. “Sunshine for our sunshine.”

Leo was blushing really hard now. “Guys stop that.”

“Don’t you dare,” came Eloise’s voice. She came in from the kitchen with a plate of butterscotch cookies, and Logan’s eyes widened in excitement as she set the it down. She took Leo’s head in her hands, just as she had the day he’d fallen on the boat, and every day before that, and every day since, and kissed him hard where the gray streaks grew from his temple. “Don’t you let them stop, you hear me, sweetheart?” She patted his head. “And please still be careful near the windshield.”

“Mama, I’m six foot three, I can get on the boat now.”

Eloise smiled mischievously. “Well, then make sure Logan is careful near the windshield.”

Logan choked slightly on the cookie in his mouth as Finn burst out into laughter, his entire body shaking. “Oh man, Eloise. You should hang out in the locker room more often, the boys would get a kick out of you.” He reached across Leo’s body to scuff Logan’s head. “Way to take him down a notch.”

That made Leo laugh and turn to look delightedly at Logan. “That’s what Kasey said to me the first time I made fun of your height in the locker room.”

Logan rolled his eyes so hard Wyatt thought they might permanently stay back in his skull. “Va te faire.”

“Language, Tremblay,” Finn scolded.

Eloise tisked. “Oh, we’ve heard it all, don’t you worry. We’re a hockey family.” She turned her raised eyebrows to Leo. “But Leo knows not to repeat those words.”

Leo’s mouth hung open in surprise, which set both Finn and Logan off into laughter once more. “Mama, I’m twenty-two-”

“And you will use appropriate language in this household, I don’t care what your boyfriends do.”

“What? How is that fair? Dad swears all the time-”

“Leo.”

Wyatt knew she was just teasing, but he still couldn’t help but be amused at Leo’s narrowed eyes. “Sorry, mama.”

Eloise nodded. “Very good.” She clapped her hands and wrapped her arms around Wyatt’s waist. “Now, how about we have some cookies and then we go for a boat ride, hm? All this talk makes me want to get on the water.”

“Ouais, sounds good,” Logan said, swallowing what must have been his third cookie. He and Finn both gazed up at Leo adoringly. “Will you drive the boat?”

“If you want, sweetheart sure,” Leo replied. He pressed a kiss to Logan’s forehead. “Since I’ve got older I’ve basically become a chauffeur.” 

“A very handsome chauffeur,” Finn corrected. He gently brushed the gray tuft of hair. “Very handsome.”

As the boys continued talking, Eloise nudged Wyatt’s hips. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and turned to look at her.

“We did good,” she said in soft French. “We did so good.”

Wyatt pressed their temples together and kissed her lightly. They both turned to look at their son, who had an arm around each of his boyfriends, Finn with a hand on his thigh and Logan with his on Leo’s chest. They were laughing, and Leo’s gray hair bounced with the shake of his body. Wyatt smiled. “Ouais. We did good.”

[nightimedreamersworld]

Thank you for the tags today my lovelies @artsyunderstudy @martsonmars @forabeatofadrum @prettygoododds ❤️ sadly I still haven't had the time to take a look at your snippets (uni is killing me 💔) but I'm sure they're lovely! I can't wait to read your wips.

As for my own, well... I gave myself a head start on chapter 5 of wftbb (ew ugly acronym) and I thought I might finish it this week, but that was before I found out I have not one but TWO exams this week. Wednesday and Friday. RIP writing 🥲

Anyway. Hopefully next week will be calmer. Here's a snippet from chapter 3:

“I don’t see how quoting the Odyssey would help,” Penelope says as we walk along the edge of Victoria's park. “The whole story is about how some guy can’t seem to ever get home.” “But he does get there in the end,” Shepard chimes in.  “After ten fucking years,” Simon grumbles. He’s obviously not happy about the prospect of staying here so long.  I’m starting to share the sentiment.  “Odysseus faced a lot of shit in that time,” Bunce says. "Luckily it will be easier to send you back.”  “To another universe?”  “Have a little faith, Simon.” She says it without magic, but I think we could all use a little motivation boost.  So far, all our attempts—my attempts, specifically—have led Simon back to his flat in Hackney Wick. No matter if we were standing just outside his building or several streets away. Bunce even made me try out the spells she’d already used, but the outcome was the same.  “Maybe the spell can’t differentiate between universes,” she mused. “It’s taking Simon back to his home, the place where he lives, but in this universe.” We all agreed that made sense. So, we decided to go further away—Victoria’s seemed like a good place, full of secluded spots to do magic away from Normal eyes. We tried all the spells from Bunce’s list—including Home is where you hang your hat, and Home is where your heart is. (Simon didn’t go anywhere for that one, not even when I cast it.)

Also, basically all chapters of this fic + the title were named after lyrics of this song

(It's basically the theme song for this fic lol)

Tagging some friends: @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @larkral (just realized yesterday that ADA is done!!! Congrats and can't wait to read the ending!) @captain-aralias @palimpsessed @whogaveyoupermission @aristocratic-otter @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @stitchyqueer @confused-bi-queer @ivelovedhimthroughworse see yall Wednesday! (Or whenever I can lol)

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Wonderful World - Part 15^

FINALLY!

Series Masterlist

Warnings: some angst between our favorite couple 🥲

WC: 15.4K

Celeste was bummed out, she went straight to her room when she got home and got ready for bed before just looking over her phone and wondering if it was stupid to reach out to Ben. She wasn’t worried about not seeing him, she knew she’d see him at band camp in a few weeks, but whether she wanted to see him or not was the real question. She decided to text Geri to see if she was still up and willing to hear her out. Once she confirmed she called her and the line rang once before she answered.

“Hey.” Geri’s hushed voice sounded over the speaker, “What did you want to talk about?”

“It’s a Ben thing.” She said and Geri gasped.

“Oh, good did you get in touch with him? He asked me where you had gone off to because he saw you with Dr. Styles so he went to greet his cousins who had shown up and-” Celeste’s groan interrupted Geri’s speaking, “What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m an idiot.” Celeste said and Geri sighed.

“No, don’t say that.”

“It’s just that I saw Ben hugging a girl for like a long while and ummm…I thought it was another girl he was talking to so I just…bailed on him.” She explained and Geri winced.

“Ooh…OK that’s bad.” She said and Celeste whined.

“Don’t tell me that.”

“He seemed pretty bummed out. Have you tried talking to him?”

“No, I left him on read…I was upset, for no reason obviously…” she mumbled.

“Well maybe it’s not too late?” Geri consoled.

“He’s gonna think I’m so immature…” she groaned lowly and Geri sighed.

“Well this is kind of the first person who you’ve had a really serious crush on, you know? Tyler from 7th grade doesn’t count!” She said and Celeste laughed, “If he doesn’t want to try to go out with you after this well then you at least learned something right?” Geri asked her and Celeste huffed.

“Yeah, I guess so…”

“Just apologize for the mix up. Ben’s nice, I’m sure he’ll understand.” Geri assured her.

“Yeah…ugh, I’ll try at school tomorrow. Best thing to do during the last day I guess.”

“Our last day as freshmen…” Geri reminded and Celeste grinned.

“That’s true! Are we still going to get ice cream after?”

“Of course! It’s tradition, my mom said she’ll pick us up around 3:15 so we have time to say goodbye to our friends.”

“Cool. Well thanks for hearing me out, Geri. And for your advice.” Celeste said with gratitude.

“Of course, what are best friends for?” She asked and Celeste smiled.

*********

After she’d gotten home from that dinner with Celeste and Harry Diana’d started to reserve the spots for her and Harry’s vineyard date on Saturday evening. She was excited to spend time with him one on one and to sing and dance along to the swanky jazz music that just itched the right spot when it came to her live music preferences. She knew he was eclectic in his tastes and was sure that he would at least appreciate the musicianship of it if he didn’t really like the genre. She was excited that he had agreed to this because she really wanted to show him her intent to move forward. They’d kind of jumped the gun and confessed their actual feelings for each other, but this was her reassuring him that she wanted to have more with him.

Diana also wanted to talk to someone about how this affected Celeste. Was it even a good idea to talk to her about it yet? Would she ever stop feeling guilty for forcing a change in the dynamic for Harry? Would Celeste be so hurt that she’d resent her forever? There was a lot up in the air and she needed to make sure that she wasn’t risking so much for just a man. But Harry wasn’t just a man, he was a man. Mature, responsible, kind, intelligent, patient, funny, open minded, hot as fuck. So unbelievably hot that she was surprised her saw wasn’t literally on the floor when she first met him.  He made her feel things she hadn’t felt in ages. She felt like herself around him. She felt happy around him. He made her feel so abundantly happy. She knew she deserved it, she had been patiently waiting her turn. And truly, in the depth of her soul, she had a feeling that he was everything she had been waiting for. She didn’t want to miss him.

*********

The next morning at school most students were just cleaning out their lockers for the end of the year. They didn’t really do much in terms of class, they had the chance to meet with the guidance counselors and advisors if needed and mostly just had activities that they could get through the day and well, the seniors did their final rehearsal for graduation, so there were plenty of people roaming the halls in their high heels to get accustomed to the feeling. Celeste hadn’t seen Ben yet, so after lunch she decided to go to the band room to see if maybe he was in there and thankfully he was. He was taking apart the drum kit and storing it away for the summer.

“Hey.” She said with a wary smile as she approached him and he looked a bit confused.

“Hi, ummm…I tried calling you yesterday? Did something happen?” He asked and she sighed and looked away from his eyes out of sheer embarrassment.

“Yeah ummm, first off I’m really sorry for bailing on you and leaving you hanging that wasn’t cool of me.” She said, “But ummm, when I went to look for you I saw you hugging a girl and I thought that maybe you were with her or whatever and I got upset-”

“That was probably my cousin, she’s visiting from Costa Rica.” He explained and she nodded.

“I know. Geri mentioned something about that to me and I just…jumped to conclusions and I’m really sorry about not saying anything to you. It was…immature.”

“just a bit.” He said with a small smile and she felt her face go red as she shook her head, “It’s alright, we’ve all been there before, Celeste.” He assured her and she glanced back up into his eyes and he was already looking at her. “And like, it’s good you bailed because I was actually not expecting my cousins to visit and so I ended up spending time with them and will probably be busy the next few weeks.”

“Are you still going to camp?” She asked.

“Yeah, they leave the day after we leave so it works out.” He said and Celeste smiled.

“That’s good that you get to spend time with them.” She smiled and he nodded.

“Yeah. What about you? Any family visits or vacations before band camp?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No, ummmm…it’s just my mom and I. My uncle doesn’t have kids yet so ummm, no cousins for me.”

“Oh? And…y-your dad’s side of the family?” He asked cautiously and she shook her head.

“I don’t actually know them. He died before I was born so there’s never really been any relationships with them.” She explained and he frowned a bit.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” He apologized and she shook her head.

“It’s OK.” She assured with a small smile, “I like…miss him sometimes but it’s not I’m sad about it because I never knew him, you know?” She said as she came a bit closer.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” He responded.

“Do you want some help?” She asked and he smiled at her.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course not, just tell me what to do because I’ve only ever done this one time at that was in middle school.” She reminded and he chuckled.

“Yeah, here.” He said coming a bit closer to demonstrate, “Oh ummm, we’re good right?” He asked her before he showed her how to take apart the drum kit, “Like, you still…like me and I still…like you?” He asked and she blushed but nodded.

“Yeah.” She responded timidly and he smiled.

“OK, sick.” He responded softly and she laughed softly, “Ummm, OK, so this is what you’re gonna do…” he started explaining how to take apart the cymbals and place them in the cases. 

Celeste was so glad that she had cleared things up with Ben and that he wasn’t upset at her. They talked a bit more about what he’d be doing with his cousins and he assured her that they could definitely hang out at camp since it wouldn’t really be possible the next two weeks as his cousins were visiting from so far away. But she was OK with that, it would give her time to not get too in her head about this. She’d be going to Catalina for the weekend with Geri’s family and they could talk about this all they wanted without her mom hearing things before she was meant to. She wouldn’t have a therapy session until the week before camp and she was still debating on whether or not to talk to Dr. Styles about Ben, she knew that he now knew that she at least liked him, but not the extent of it. And well…she could just tell her mom. She hadn’t been too alarmed when she brought up the question about dating, but she also didn’t want to ask her mom about kissing and boyfriends in depth. Not yet at least. She’d just…figure it out along the way and hope she made a friend at camp who hopefully had a bit more experience thank her. 

*********

The rest of the week completely flew by and Harry had spent a large part of those next few days mulling over Dr. Hsu’s offer, he was very interested in that faculty position but he had just started his practice and it had been going pretty well for him. The more he thought about it, the more he came to terms with the fact that he wasn’t ready to let it go. Not yet at least. He was definitely interested in teaching more classes for the university, but his gut told him to not sign on as a faculty member just yet. He just wanted to give it another day or two to sit with the feeling of his current decision. When his alarm rang he stretched before he got up from his chaise. He’d been taking in a bit of sun before getting ready for his date at the vineyard with Diana.

He couldn’t help the smile on his face as he cleaned his body and washed his hair. After drying off he headed straight for the mirror and washed his face and then considered shaving off all of the scruff along his jaw and over his lips. But he was liking it right now, he liked the look so he decided against shaving and just got to his skin care. He was particular as he dried and styled his hair. And then as he rubbed a bit of his cologne scented hair/beard oil into his hands and then into hair, taking care to work the excess into his scruff and down his neck. He smirked as he just smeared the last bit into his bit of chest hair. And then he was off to get dressed. The weather was warm, but he knew it’d get cool up in the mountains. As he sifted through his outfit options he ended choosing an olive green suit paired with a thin black, graphic-tee, and some black dress shoes. He considered something a bit more tame, but he he wanted a pop of color because he recalled that she enjoyed seeing him in colors. His colors were usually bright and this suit, with it’s deep tone made it feel more like an evening look. He got into it and hurried to his mirror to look over the outfit and smiled to himself. He felt good, he liked the look and decided to stick with it.  When his phone dinged he knew that Diana would be on her way. So he got on his cologne and brushed his teeth again before hurrying to get his shoes on. 

He felt all fluttery inside because this was in fact their first real date, she had asked him because she wanted to go out with him. Harry perked up when his door bell rang and he hurried to the kitchen to grab the bouquet of white anemones he had purchased for her. He hurried to open it up and smiled wide when he saw her beaming with her own arrangement in hand. They both laughed and he moved aside to let her in.

“That’s a nice one.” He said and she giggled.

“Thanks, I was hoping you’d like it. And those flowers are beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like them.” He smiled, “Ummm, let’s put these down and head out, yeah?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” She agreed and she followed him to his kitchen where he set down his arrangement and then stooped down to one of the cabinets to get a vase out for her flowers. He turned around to get some water in it and she leaned onto the counter and just looked him over with a distant and lustful gaze. The slim fit of the suit showed the tapered shape of his figure, his back was so broad. She even blushed as she looked him over and just glanced down at the rings on her fingers instead. She then felt his own gaze devouring her and she flickered her eyes up and smirked as he set the vase down, eyes focused on hers with his bottom lip bitten between his teeth. 

“Fuck, look at you.” He laughed softly in total awe and she looked away with burning cheeks. “Show me.” He insisted and she pushed herself off of the counter and he grabbed her hand as she straightened out her black dress. He smiled as he took her in and then smiled up at her, “Perfect.”

“You look really good too. Like this color on you.” She complimented and he smiled.

“Thanks. I remember you said you liked some of my more colorful stuff so I…uh chose it.” He said and she smiled.

“I know that we haven’t even made it to our first date, but can I kiss you?” She asked and he chuckled.

“Yeah.” He hummed, “You can kiss me.” He smirked and she gripped the back of his neck with her right hand and pulled him down as she arched up into him as their lips met in a gentle kiss. It was just a few seconds long and then she pulled away.

“Thank you.” She whispered as their noses nudged, “We should go.” She said and he hummed in agreement.

Moments later they were on the road and heading up towards the vineyard up in the mountains near the beach. 

“What’s Celeste up to this weekend?” Harry asked.

“She’s spending the next three days with Geri and her family, they went to Catalina Island.” She informed and Harry hummed.

“Sounds like fun.”

“Oh yeah, I went with them last year and it was a lot of fun.”

“Why didn’t you go this year?” He asked her and she smiled.

“I’m teaching a summer class come Monday and I just need to get everything ready over the weekend.” She explained, “Also, I made plans with you before they told me about their plans so ummm…yeah.” She smiled at him before turning back to the road.

“Well I know spending time with Celeste is important to you, I would’ve understood.”

“I know, but ummm…I also want to show you that this is important to me too.” She said and then bit her lip before turning to him quickly as they braked behind a line of cars along the 101, “You’re important to me.” She said more plainly and he smiled.

“Well thank you. I ummm…you’re important to me as well.” He said bashfully and she smiled before turning back to the road.

“I wanted to ask you something…” she said after a few minutes and he hummed, urging her to continue, “So I definitely need a little bit of help figuring out how to talk to Celeste about my feelings about my love life and how to address her concerns when I get to have that conversation with her and ummm…I want to talk to my therapist about it, but like…what would be the point if I lied about it?” She said and he chuckled.

“Right.”

“Right!” She smiled, “Like…I also don’t want to get you in trouble so I wanted to ensure that like I can talk to my therapist about us without there being any repercussions towards you. So do you think it’ll be an issue?” She asked nervously.

“I mean…yeah. Well it’s really not allowed…like I could…I could get into serious trouble and potentially lose both of my licenses to practice for dating a client’s family member because it’s never justifiable to potentially harm a client by putting my own wants or needs first.” He explained and she sighed.

“Oh…like I just knew it was not a good idea and unprofessional at the very least, I hadn’t really looked up the…actual ruling of it.”

“Yeah, I mean ACA recommends a 5 year gap between romantic relationships with a therapist who’s treated your family member, whereas other associations might say it’s less time, but ummm, most of us go by what ACA says, so yeah. It ummm…it wouldn’t be good for me at all and well, I don’t think your therapist could withhold from reporting that to the board because it’s more likely that something like this causes harm to the patient than not, you know? If she’s a good therapist she would say something.” He told her and she frowned, “And it’s not like I didn’t know that, but like I can’t help what I feel and I just really hate to think about it so I pushed it aside and I should’ve been more honest with you from the start.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, I get that.” She responded softly, “I’m sorry too if anything I ever did pushed you to break those rules or persuaded you to-”

“I did it all on my own, love. I’m pretty sure I’ve been the one pursuing you this whole time.” He said and she shook her head.

“I could’ve at least pretended to have some resolve so ummm…it’s on both of us. I mean…do you think anything about us has caused harm to Celeste?” She asked with concern, her eyes focused on the road.

“Mostly when we weren’t on speaking terms or something.” He said, “She perceived it more as like a lack of interest in her on your end when in reality it was just that we didn’t want to see each other.” He said and she bit her lip as her heart sank.

“Right…ummm, maybe lets not talk about this now.” She said as she turned to him briefly and he nodded.

“Yeah, another time.” He assured and she nodded and they went quiet as they both just started to think about what the hell they were even doing.

Harry felt bad now, he could see just how much this worried Diana. They could pretend all they wanted and they could choose to believe that there would be a good way to do this, but in reality all that they knew right now was that Celeste wasn’t ready for Diana to date and she wasn’t interested in finding another therapist. He had a duty to Celeste until she decided that he wasn’t the clinician for her. And well, Diana couldn’t be selfish with this, she’d said it many times before. It was unfair the way that life dangled someone so perfect in front of their faces and then placed only the biggest obstacle known to the universe between them. And this was an obstacle of gargantuan scale. Harry could very well lose both of his licenses if someone were to find out about this. If that happened he wouldn’t even have anything to fall back on because he for sure wouldn’t be able to work at the university with something like that on his record.

The silence between them seemed to confirm the thing they both feared the most, but the one thing that they knew was for the best. What a depressing first date, he thought to himself, to know that everything was over before it even started. Neither of them had to say it, the tense silence between them was deafening and just like that, the exciting promise of what the evening had in store for them had dissolved into nothing. When they arrived Diana parked her car and turned to him with welled up eyes and he frowned.

“Hey, don’t cry.” He said softly and she bit her lip and shook her head.

“Why are we even here? It’s so pointless!” She vented as she reached into the console and dabbed under her eyes with a napkin and he smiled sadly.

“Because we wanted to try.” He said to her and she exhaled shakily.

“If I had known that you could literally lose your livelihood I never would have even tried to befriend you!” She said with some panic and he shook his head.

“That’s not your fault. I want you. Me. I decided.” He said and she shook her head.

“You’re really stupid for that, you know?” She sniffled as she looked at him and he smiled at her and shrugged.

“I know. I’ve just never felt like this before and I can’t help but give into this feeling that I have when I think about how good everything could be.” He said and she nodded.

“I know…I just…won’t be the reason you have to give up the work you love so much.” She said resolutely and he nodded.

“Right, I also think about Celeste often and how this would go with her…I know how she feels about this and like…it would hurt her so much if she found out I’m the person who’s seeing you behind her back.” She nodded as she listened to him with so much sadness in her heart.

“This fucking sucks.” She whispered with pain and he nodded.

“I know, baby.” He responded softly, “Let’s just ummm…let’s just break the rules one last time, OK? I know you’re very excited about this and you took the time to plan it and we’re gonna have a good time, OK?” He said and she nodded to get herself to believe that she was fine and that her heart didn’t feel like it’d just been dropped into a vat of acid.

“OK.” She responded and just exhaled harshly before unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out of the car.

Harry followed suit and soon he was offering his hand to her and she was intertwining their fingers together as they followed some other couples to the main building. After checking in they were led to a gorgeous table outside, they were seated right by the dance floor and had an excellent view of the stage. The lights outside and the decor of the place was gorgeous and romantic. Their table even had a little notecard with their names embossed in gold into the thick paper. He turned to her and offered her a smile and as much as she tried to return the gesture he could see the sadness swimming in her eyes. She’d put herself out there, he knew it was hard for her to even do that and despite her best efforts she was not even close to getting what she wanted and that hurt and it was disappointing, he knew it was. It hurt him too.

“Hey.” He appealed to her softly and she turned to him.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know the repercussions could be that serious.” She said to him, “And now I kind of feel like…what’s the point, I guess?” She said and he frowned a bit. He wanted to tell her that the point of it all was that they loved each other and that somehow, some way they’d make it work, but he couldn’t guarantee that.

“Yeah, that’s fair. I should’ve been more straightforward about that before.” He said and she sighed, “I’m really sorry.” He apologized again and she shook her head.

“You don’t need to apologize. And I’m not upset at you, I’m upset at myself for being so…naive and like…careless I guess with this.” She said sadly and after a beat of silence she turned to him with a slight smile, “Well now that our evening is ruined.” She said with a slightly joking tone and he chuckled.

“It doesn’t have to be. We can just…pretend it’s not.” He suggested and she glanced down at her hands in her lap.

“I think that would hurt more tomorrow.” She glanced up at him with glossy eyes again and he nodded.

“Yeah. You’re right.” He said softly. And when the band came out on stage moments later everyone started clapping and cheering, but for them it just felt like a personal attack to their situation. Like the point of all of this was just for them to get hurt. 

Diana really wanted to make the most of it like Harry had said before they got out of the car, but seeing the other couples swaying to the romantic jazz music playing, having soft conversations over their wine, looking at each other with adoration, sharing their meals…it just felt so unfair. She wasn’t upset at Harry for just wanting to be loved as well, especially after he’d been cheated on, but clearly, this wasn’t as meant to be as she thought it was. That was the only way she could rationalize the obstacles. Why couldn’t things just be easy for once? Why did there have to be layers of complications over everything in her life? Why was she burdened with so much love and feeling and have no one to share it with? She abruptly stood from the table and grabbed her cloth napkin and walked off into the garden, she just needed a bit of alone time to get it together. 

“Di?” She heard Harry’s voice after a minute and she let out a shaky breath.

“J-just a minute.” She responded as she dabbed under her eyes to prevent the tears from streaking her makeup. She heard him coming closer and she furrowed her eyebrows, “I just need a minute!” She called back again as she started to cry a bit more and then she felt his warm hand over her shoulder before he draped his jacket over her shoulders and that seemed to do her in because she just curled in on herself and started sobbing. 

“I hate this. I hate my life so much, Harry.” She whimpered and he frowned and sat beside her. “Why am I always stuck?!” She asked rhetorically, “Why am I always last? Why am I on the back burner of the universe’s fucking list of priorities? Why can’t I just have something that I want? Just once?” She asked and he shook his head as his own tears fell silently.

“Baby, I don’t know.” He responded softly as he reached for her hand and she let him take it and intertwine their fingers. 

“You know that I can’t do this because I love you, right?” She asked and more of his tears fell as he heard the words he knew were coming.

“Yeah.” He responded softly and sniffled. “And ummm, I really love you, but I also really love Celeste…” he said softly and she turned to him upon him saying that, that’s all she had ever wanted, for someone to love her and her daughter, “I could never forgive myself if I hurt her because I was being selfish.” He said softly, “You guys mean the world to me, Di. You have to know that. Like…I felt so…empty before. And you two came along and filled a void that I had given up on trying to fill. I also can’t risk driving a wedge between you two or to cultivate  any mistrust or resentment.” He explained, “And like…I don’t see how we can have us without at least one of these things being impacted.” He said sadly.

“I know.” She sighed in defeat. They sat there for a bit, listening to the music from afar, holding hands and just basking in the beautiful potential before the vision completely disappeared. “I ummm…I think I just want to go home.” She said softly after the song playing ended and they heard the applause from the diners on the other side of the hedge. They stood from the bench they were on and just then they started playing a Chet Baker song, “It’s Always You” and Harry stopped.

“Let’s have a dance? I love Chet Baker.” He asked softly and she smiled up at him despite her tearful eyes and she nodded.

“I love him too. And I love this song.” She responded as she rested against his chest and they swayed quietly to the beautiful melody being sung so easily. And she smiled when the trumpeter took his solo. Harry held Diana close and chanced a glance up at the emerging moon in the sky as the sky got darker and darker by the minute. He knew the song would be over very soon and the bubble would burst. He pulled back a bit and grabbed her face and as their eyes met she leaned closer and he kissed her softly and slowly, trying to show her everything he felt with that kiss. It got teary quickly and as the song ended and people cheered for the classic, they pulled apart with hesitation. The last bit of light was used to just look into each others eyes for just another moment.

“Ready to go?” He asked her and she nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go.” She confirmed and they let go of each other and just walked back to their table. She grabbed her bag and then she led them back to the main building.

“Do you want me to drive?” Harry asked her as they made it out and she shook her head.

“I’m alright.” She assured him and he nodded. It did surprise him that she reached for his hand, but he held it tight as they made the drive back. It was nearly an hour drive and there was very minimal conversation, they were just with each other. “Are you hungry at all?” She asked as the neared their exit.

“Ummm, not really. Are you?”

“No.” She confirmed, “So just ummm…straight home?” She asked before she clenched her jaw a bit and he nodded.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He said before letting go of her hand to grab his phone from his pocket since it had started to vibrate. He huffed when he saw it was just a spam caller and he ignored it before setting it back down, but when he glanced over to grab her hand again she had it on the steering wheel now. It hurt so bad, he literally felt a weight in his chest. He hated to see her walls slowly going back up, but he needed to do it too. He just needed to guard himself for a bit because this one hurt so much more than he though it ever could and it had barely been anything and well, that was terrifying. 

As they pulled into his street the feeling started getting worse, but there was nothing that he could do to change this. It just wasn’t in the stars and he needed to accept that. As she pulled into his driveway she put the car in park and unbuckled herself to give him back his jacket.

“Here’s this.” She said with a soft smile.

“Yeah, thanks. You really do look so remarkable tonight.” He smiled.

“You too, Harry.” She responded and he sighed.

“We’re doing the right thing.” He said and she nodded in agreement.

“We are.” She said with certainty and with that he stepped out of her car. He really just wanted to plop into bed and sulk for the rest of the weekend. He was just making sure he had everything in his pockets when she rolled the window down.

“Harry?” She called to him and he peeked in, “Thank you for what we did have. I haven’t felt so happy in a long, long time.” She said to him with gratitude.

“Neither have I.” He responded with a smile and with that he backed up and let her back out. He waved one last time before she took off and the rage that he felt building up inside of him was unlike anything he had ever experienced. As soon as Harry got inside he slammed the door loudly and kicked off his shoes haphazardly before groaning in frustration. She was the love of his life he knew it, so why wasn’t it working? His anger became sadness and before he even realized it he was just sliding down the door and heaving through his sobs because this hurt more than he ever thought it could. And in his pain he just thought of her and admired her even more, she had been through so much worse and he couldn’t imagine surviving heartbreak after heartbreak, like her. He wanted to help her, not be another thing that broke her heart. He should’ve stopped himself, he knew better and now look how things had ended up. This was all his fault.

********

Diana distracted herself with setting up the modules for her Spanish class all weekend. Summer was hectic as their courses only lasted a month and in reality being this busy was a blessing in disguise because it would allow her to just fret over her online lectures and Celeste getting ready for band camp. Celeste was excited and even loved helping Diana sharpie her initials into all of her clothing item tags that she wanted to take with her. She did have an eventful week all on her own, but also with Celeste’s things.

Celeste had the bake sale in a few hours to help raise a bit more money for the camp fee for the students who needed a sponsorship. Diana had just finished her lecture so she made it out of her home office and drank some water before calling after Celeste to hurry down so they could head over to the Sprinkles store and buy the 3 dozen cupcakes she would be donating for the bake sale. As soon as they settled into the car they took off and Celeste started searching up music to play for the ride.

“You know who should open a bakery? Dr. Styles!” Celeste said with a big smile to Diana who felt her heart shrivel up at the mention of his name, but nonetheless smiled wide when Celeste brought him up.

“Oh yeah? It was that good?” She asked.

“It was amazing! Best cupcake I’ve ever eaten.” She recalled, “Hopefully he does that for all of my birthdays.” She said with a small smile and the thought of that made Diana’s stomach twist.

“God, how many birthdays are you planning to be in therapy?” She giggled and Celeste shrugged.

“I mean, you’ve been working with the same therapist since college right?” She asked her mom and Diana nodded.

“That’s true…” she confirmed and swallowed the lump that seemed to constantly work it’s way up in her throat at this point. It was a possibility for Celeste to want to continue working with him for a long time. 

“I’m sure it won’t be every single year, but I’d go to him for as long as possible, it just feels like he really cares about me.” She said and Diana nodded as she listened, it was the truth. He cared about Celeste, loved her even, is what he had admitted to her. “I feel like it might be awkward to get to try and get to that stage with a new person. And I guess he never felt like a stranger, it just felt easy.” She explained. 

“Well that’s great. It can definitely be awkward to get to that point of trust with a therapist, it typically takes a lot of time.” She explained.

“I bet.” She smiled, “So yeah, I mean, I’m thinking I’ll have a lifetime supply of delicious cupcakes.” She shrugged and Diana forced a smile again. “I’ll be sure to share it with you next year so you can see for yourself.” She smiled.

“Wow, thanks. So generous.” She giggled but the thought alone made her want to throw up.

“I know. Oh, I forgot to tell Dr. Styles about being gone for band camp for a month last time! I’ll tell him next week, please remind me.” Celeste said and Diana nodded.

“Yeah, of course sweetheart.” She agreed, completely forgetting that she still had to see him, but at least she wouldn’t have to after that for a whole month.

The bake sale had been going well, they had a great turn out and made enough to be able to help an 10 kids to get to the band camp, which was great! Diana was friendly with a few of the other moms that were there and they definitely provided a good distraction. Thankfully, she’d never had a bad experience with anyone for being younger or single so it was a great time chatting with them all and getting to see Celeste socializing with her friends. Soon enough she was helping clean things up a bit before they all took off. 

Diana and Celeste had a good time eating dinner while they watched a show that Celeste really wanted to watch with her. So they got a few episodes in before they cleaned up and then they got ready for bed and Celeste joined Diana in her room as they waited for their face masks to dry as they continued watching the show. Diana just knew that as soon as Celeste was gone she’d get depressed.

**********

It was finally Thursday and Diana had just wrapped up her zoom lecture, reminding the students that their first exam would be the next week. She hung around in case anyone had questions, but after the last student logged out she closed the app and pulled up her portal to start to grade assignments. She was a couple in when her phone started ringing.

 She glanced over and smiled when she saw Grace’s name.

“Hello?” She sang.

“Hey girl, how’s the week been?” She asked and Y/N sighed.

“It’s been…interesting. How about yours?”

“Pretty good. Ummm…I was calling you about plans for the weekend? As you know, it’s escape room day, but I really want to do something different. Maybe a paint room? Or a wreck room?”

“Oh ummm…would it be us?”

“Yeah, us and Henry, and Harry.” She cooed playfully. And while Diana’s lips twitched up at the mention of his name, her eyes grew dim and the joy she felt withered into sadness.

“Oh. Ummm, then maybe not.” She responded with a huff.

“Oh no…what happened?” Grace asked and Diana sighed.

“It’s…a lot.” She sighed.

“So?” Grace questioned and Diana sniggered.

“I just don’t want Celeste to overhear something.” She said softly.

“Gotcha. Well, lucky for you I’m down the street and come bearing some delicious Persian food…literally went downtown at this hour to pick up some Dream Kabob House because she knows it’s your absolute favorite…” she said and Diana chuckled.

“Celeste called you?” She asked.

“Yeah, she said you were acting weird? I don’t know what she meant by that, but she wanted us to have dinner and play games until she got picked up by her friend’s mom or something.”

“Yeah, they’re going to that Super Mario’s World thing or something tomorrow.” She explained. 

“OK, well then good thing I have my bag packed! I was planning on spending the night with Henry…but I can postpone.” Grace said, “I mean, I will wear my cute lingerie to sleep because I’m not letting the outfit go to waste and you’re more than welcome to get dolled up with me…for bed of course.” She said and Diana chuckled.

“I think after spending the evening with me you’ll be asking me to borrow some yoga pants and a t-shirt.”

“That bad, huh?” Grace asked and Diana sighed.

“Yeah.” She hummed sadly.

“Well I hope you’re hungry for some comfort food.”

“I definitely am.” Diana chuckled.

“Is Dream Kabob House really your favorite or did Celeste play me? Because she neglected to tell me it was cash only and I had to pay nearly a $5 fee just to get you this food…” Grace added and Diana laughed.

“Yeah ummmm, it’s definitely a favorite.” She assured.

“Good. I’m turning into your street now.”

“OK. See you in a sec.”

“Yep!” Grace hummed before she hung up. Diana slipped into her slippers and headed out of her bedroom and knocked on Celeste’s door.

“Come in!” Diana heard her muffled voice and she opened up the door.

“All packed for tomororw?” She asked and Celeste nodded, “Perfect, auntie Grace is about to get here with the food.” Diana informed as she wandered into Celeste’s room. She had been practicing her guitar, as it was in her arms and her headphones were on, this set up was a gift from Damian about 2 Christmases ago so that Celeste could practice all she wanted and not be plugged into a loud ass amp.

“Oh OK, cool.” She smiled. Diana saw her close up a little journal and smiled.

“Are you trying to write songs?” She asked her and Celeste looked up with nervous eyes.

“Oh ummm…not really? I don’t know…”

“Well if you are I think that’s really cool and ummm, just practice a lot. Writing I mean, it’ll help you get better.” She smiled and Celeste looked a little shy about this but nodded. “Alright mamita, we’ll see you down there.” She said as she started to retreat.

“Ummm mom?”

“Yeah?” Diana asked as she turned back around.

“Are you OK?” Celeste asked and Diana frowned.

“What makes you think I’m not?” She asked her as she came closer.

“I don’t know…something just feels…different about you? Like you’re kind of…in your head a lot? I don’t know how to explain it…” she said and Diana sighed.

“Oh, I’m just stressed out. I’ve never had to teach a whole Spanish Language class in a month.” She said with furrowed eyebrows, she wasn’t lying because that had been very stressful, “I just ummm…I don’t know how well prepared students will be if they decide to CLEP it after they take this class. Like how much of a language can you actually learn in just a month?” She wondered.

“Well I only learned: Je m'appelle Céleste. J'ai quinze ans et j'aime jouer de la guitare et aller au cinéma avec mes amis - in the entire semester so…I would say not too much.” She said and Diana laughed loudly which made Celeste smile.

“I love you, kiddo.” Diana beamed and Celeste got her guitar off and hurried over to Diana and hugged her tight.

“I love you too, mom.” She hummed as she cuddled up to her. 

And in this moment Diana didn’t feel as much hurt. She loved her daughter more than her own life, there wasn’t anything she wasn’t willing to do to keep her happy and safe. Including staving off her own wants and needs at times, just for a little longer. It was a sad reality of motherhood, it’s not like you lost parts of yourself or neglected yourself, it’s just that until your kids were old enough to have their own lives your life revolved around preparing them for that and giving them good lessons and tools and experiences to help them start becoming their own person. It was a beautiful thing, to pour so much love and attention into someone and watch them start to take ownership of that and to make their own thing out of everything you’d given them. She would never regret her ability to be a mother. It was the best thing that had ever happened to her. They were in the middle of their embrace when they heard Grace open up the front door, she had her own key to their house.

“Food’s here!” She called loudly and Celeste giggled.

“Auntie Grace is kind of crazy.” She said and Diana cackled.

“Kind of? You can say it, we all know she’s completely bonkers.” She assured her and Celeste laughed as they made their way downstairs. 

Their girl time had been really nice. It had helped lift Diana’s spirits, especially after her nice little moment with Celeste. She felt better about her decision, but she knew that as soon as Celeste was gone to camp the hurt would take over. It had to, she hadn’t allowed herself to really feel it all: the shattered sense of hope, the feeling like all of it had just been some delusional & out of reach thing that she never should have put any of her energy or heart into, her anger towards timing, and more importantly, how walking away from Harry felt so wrong to do. It felt like a mistake and that’s what made it so hard. She needed to grieve everything that they could’ve been, because if fate had been kinder to them she was sure that they would be the best family. However, for now she had to remind herself that they did the right thing. This was the right thing to do.

Celeste got picked up around 8pm and that left Grace and Diana alone to talk about what had actually happened. Grace made them some mixed vodka drinks with whatever she could find in Diana’s fridge and soon they were sitting out on her balcony as Diana just sobbed her eyes out about Harry and how their first official date had been completely wrecked by reality.

“-like I have no idea what I thought would happen? Maybe I was just subconsciously convincing myself to never look into it so that I wouldn’t feel bad about what could happen to him if someone found out! I don’t know…like…he could lose everything and Celeste would be so hurt…she would feel so betrayed, Grace!” Diana sobbed as Grace nodded and listened, “I just…I know that for right now this is the right thing to do, but it feels really wrong.” She sniffled, “Like…he’s everything I never knew I needed.” She said with a sad smile, “Literally the fucking best and I just…I’m in love with him.” She confessed quietly and Grace pouted as she heard this and then Diana started sobbing again.

Grace set her drink down and pulled Diana into her chest and just held her. Diana had already been through so much, it felt unfair for her to be subject to anymore inconveniences or pains like this. It broke Grace’s heart to see her best friend in this situation.

“I ummm, I need you to do me a favor please?” Diana sniffled.

“Yeah, anything.” She assured.

“On Monday can you take Celeste to therapy?” She asked and Grace frowned, “It’s still too fresh, I just…I can’t see him and keep it together and I also don’t want him to get upset and then it’s weird in session with Celeste, like…I just think it’d be best.” Diana said and she nodded.

“Of course I’ll take her.”

“Thank you. And just a forwarning, I’m like…holding it all in until she’s gone for camp. So ummm, if the next few weeks are just weird and I’m MIA just know I’m just going through it. I just really need to be sad about this before she’s back.” 

“Yeah, I get it.” Grace assured, “I’ll check in a bit, OK?”

“Thank you.” Diana hummed.

“Course. What’re friends for?”

************

Harry was in a state. He showed up to the escape room via uber because he was already stoned. He assured them it was a sativa blend so he was ready for the escape room and sure enough, they completed the room in nearly 39 minutes. 

Harry warded off a lot of his unwanted feelings via his intellect. He felt really good and smart and that helped numb a lot of things for him. He needed the stimulation to be distracted and unfortunately for him, his work week was slow. So he’d been writing a lot of stuff, poems and songs, he’d been reading and started writing articles and research papers for potential publishing. He just needed to be distracted and all of that had been going really well until they were at their usual bar and he found himself standing at the exact same spot of the bar where he had talked to Diana at the first time they had hung out together. He remembers her bashfulness and coyness, how her perfume just wafted around her and made him feel like he was floating on a cloud of her all evening; he had a girlfriend then. He remembers the urge to just touch and be closer to her. He remembers feeling invincible from the amount of self-control he had that night because he definitely didn’t want to do anything that was unbecoming while he was taken, but the temptation was far too great. She was everything he never knew he needed. If soulmates were real, she had to be his. 

During the night, Grace’s watchful eye on him indicated to him that she’d had a conversation with Diana already about what had happened. Henry also knew something was off with him, but he kept assuring him he was fine. However, Harry didn’t ever drink carelessly like he was tonight; The more drinks he got into him the more the vision of her called to him. He loved her so fucking much and he missed her. He couldn’t believe that this was all there was to their story. Star-crossed lovers…so typical. He regretted not being honest about the repercussions from the start…maybe it would’ve prevented them from getting closer. He had tried his best though, tried to stay away, to stave off his feelings, to ignore the inevitable pull he felt towards her, like a magnet or a moth to a flame. He got down from the stool he was on and both Grace and Henry looked at him, concerned for what he was going to do in this state.

“Relax, just gonna go - for a wee.” He hiccuped and trudged off to the bathroom. He finished and washed his hands and splashed a bit of cool water on his face which actually did nothing to help whatsoever in his state. So he made his way out and then he stopped in his tracks as he remembered Diana asking him if she really wanted them to just keep things cordial for the sake of their dual-relationship and he told her something about fearing that if they got friendly it wouldn’t be enough at some point. God, he’d been so right, he hated it - maybe he had set something in motion just because he voiced that to her then. In a moment of longing madness, sadness, and regret he made it out of the bar and leaned against the wall as he pulled his phone out and called her.

********

“Mom, Mario World was so cool!” Celeste raved as she came back down stairs from her shower. Diana was just packing away the left overs from the dinner she’d made herself.

“Yeah?” She asked with a smile.

“Yes! Can we go again soon?” She asked and Diana smiled as she snapped the glass container shut.

“Sure, mamita. We can plan something for when you come back, yeah?”

“Perfect!” Celeste beamed. Diana could hear her phone ringing in her purse at the end of the counter and she was a bit confused at who would be calling her after 10pm, so she decided to ignore it. “Can we watch a movie?” Celeste asked.

“You’re not tired after the day you’ve had?” Diana chuckled and sighed as her phone started ringing again.

“I’m on a adrenaline high right now.” She smirked, “Also a sugar high…I know you told me not to but I had at least 4 churros today and a voodoo donut on the way out.” She smiled at her mother with a coy look in her eyes and Diana smirked as she shook her head.

“You’re so stinking cute I can’t even be upset at you…” Diana admitted and Celeste smiled. “Fine, let’s watch a movie… go get something on.” She said and Celeste rushed out of the kitchen, “And you’re drinking some cinnamon tea because it’s good for your glucose levels!” She called and heard Celeste groan from the TV room, “You did this to yourself!” She shouted back and then heard her phone ring again and that did put a slight concern in her, maybe it was Grace or Damian? And with the recent event with Harry, a late night phone call seemed extremely daunting. She fished her phone out of her purse and frowned when she saw 3 missed calls from Harry, and then it started ringing again and before the temptation to answer became too great she locked her phone, automatically ignoring the call. A lump formed in her throat and she decided to just text Grace to check on him because she was worried…4 calls? Something had to be wrong. So she opened up her texts to message grace.

As soon as her message was sent her phone chimed notifying her of a voice mail and she sighed and went over to that screen. She saw that it had been him and it just put this pit in her stomach. She knew it would make her cry so she decided to just get to it later. She set the kettle for the tea and then moved on to her next task.

“Mamita, I’m going to go up and wash my face and get into my PJ’s! I’ll be there in a minute!” She called to Celeste.

“OK!” She shouted and so Diana grabbed her purse and headed up stairs. 

Diana changed her clothes first and she glanced to her purse, sitting there at the bench at the end of her bed. She stopped at her bathroom door and just looked at it for a moment; her curiosity was getting the best of her. She just walked over and fished her phone out before heading into her bathroom. She saw another text from Grace from a minute or so ago and opened up the phone and just saw that Harry was fine, just got a bit in his feelings and that he was very sorry for calling her, she just ‘hearted’ the message and before swiping out to her home screen. Then another text came in from Harry and she just clicked on the notification banner and then frowned as she read over his text.

She continued to do as he asked and blocked him, the tears built up in her eyes and then she proceeded to delete their texting thread. She then opened up her calls app and pressed on his voice mail and her finger hovered over the little garbage bin icon with so much hesitation, she then quickly clicked over to the play button and brought her phone up to her ear and she sighed through a laugh at the sound of his breath coming through the speaker.

“Hey Di. I ummm…I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you from the start. I just wanted you to know that I wasn’t because I knew from the start that we would be in trouble and I just…wasn’t ready to accept that I guess. I’ve been trying so hard not to think about you, but nothing is fucking working…” he chuckled, “I’m just so sad. It sucks. I’ve gotta say that I hope it’s been…sucking for you too.” He admitted and she smiled because she knew he was smiling as well, she could just hear it in his voice, “I just needed to tell you that I love you so fucking much. And ummm, I don’t know if we’ll figure this out or ummm…if I’ll just have to keep loving you from afar for the rest of my life, but I guess it doesn’t matter ‘cause either way I still love you.” He said softly, “Ummm, that’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. Love you, bye.”

  She glanced up to the ceiling as her hot tears streamed down her face before she exhaled sharply through her nose and set her phone down. Her lips were pressed together to avoid a sob from breaking through. She reached for her makeup balm and got to work on getting her face cleaned instead. After she’d finished washing everything off and getting her other products in she looked at herself in the mirror and ensured that the frown was off her face before she joined Celeste. She tossed her phone onto her bed and got into her slippers before hurrying down to serve their teas and then went into the TV room.

“Took you long enough!” Celeste said and Diana rolled her eyes as she set their teas down.

“What are we watching?” She asked as she got onto the couch.

“LaLa Land!” Celeste said with a big grin and then searched it up and pressed play. Diana swore that the universe had her in for it…and sure enough, she had never cried harder at this film. 

“You always cry…” Celeste laughed lowly and Diana sniffled.

“Of course! It’s beautiful…they can’t…be together for the sake of the big picture and for the sake of their dreams, but they were both still able to be happy and they…still love each other.” She said as her stomach sank, “Even if it’s just from…afar.” She sighed before she dabbed at her eyes again.

“That’s not beautiful, that sucks!” Celeste said with a scowl, “What’s the point of soul mates if you can’t even be together?” Celeste asked and Diana sighed.

“I don’t know…”

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Ummm…was dad your soul mate?” She asked looking to her, eagerly awaiting a response. And of the first time in her life, Diana wasn’t sure. She always thought he might be until she’d gotten to know Harry deeper. The way she loved Harry was different. Maybe it was just because she was older now? But he was definitely the person she’d consider to be her soulmate.

“Honestly mamita, I don’t know… I don’t think we had enough time together to really know. But what does it matter? I still have you, don’t I?” Diana said with smile and Celeste grinned.

“True!” She hummed happily and with that they both went to bed. 

Diana tried her best not to think about it too much. After all, entertaining any fantasies about what she could have with anyone in her future only brought her back to Harry. To Harry who was so sad without her. Just as sad as she felt without him.

*********

Harry woke up the next morning with the worst headache. He’d definitely outdone himself and made a right fool of himself. He sat up slowly only to realize he was still in his clothes from the night before and was just plopped down on his bed. He sighed and dragged himself to the bathroom and had a quick shower before making his way to the kitchen.

“Oh good, you’re up!” Henry said with a smile.

“Yeah, hardly.” Harry chuckled breathily, “Did you stay?” 

“Yeah. Had to drag you in here, get you to at least brush your teeth after we got some food in you.” He chuckled and Harry nodded.

“I wasn’t too bad, was I?”

“No, just…cried a bit on the way back from Monty’s.” He informed. There was no teasing to his tone.

“Yeah… I’m not doing too good.” He said and Henry frowned.

“Do you want to tell me about what’s going on? I’ll fix you some eggs?” He offered.

“Yeah…umm it’s about…Diana.” He said and Henry nodded as he served Harry an espresso and handed the cup over, “Thanks.” He nodded and let Harry continue, “She had asked me on a date and so we went out last week. We went up to the mountains near the beach, it’s a vineyard with jazz and dancing…” he said with a soft smile. “She decided to give me a chance, to take a leap. But she starting talking about how she wants to talk to Celeste about her love life before she properly gets into anything and she asked me if she could…talk to her own therapist about what’s going on and just get some help with how to have that conversation and I…told her no. I told her the rules and what would be at stake if another professional would find out about us. And I also told her that I felt guilty about… Celeste and that I was afraid of hurting her with this because I know firsthand how she feels about Diana dating.” Harry explained, “And well, after that honest conversation…on the way to the date, by the way… it just kind of ruined everything. We tried to sit through it but I think we both just… think too much and so we left early and ummm…agreed that that was it.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry man.”

“I love her. I told her a few weeks ago…she loves me too. And I love Celeste, she’s such a cool kid.” He said with a small smile, “And well, she told me she loved me too much to risk me losing everything I’ve worked hard for. And well of course, she loves Celeste and doesn’t want to hurt her.”

“Yeah, I think she’s great for that.”

“I just…can’t help but feel like letting her go isn’t the right thing. You told me once that when you met Grace you felt awake for the first time... that’s how Diana makes me feel. I feel alive ever since she came into my life. She helped me see everything that I was missing and how badly I’ve neglected the simple pleasures I’ve always wanted for myself. You told me I’d have to be an idiot to ignore signs like that.” Harry said with a soft smile.

“Well yeah, but fuck.” Henry said, “I want this for you, H. I do, but I have to side with Diana on this one. You can’t give up your livelihood for this. I mean, what’s the problem with just waiting a few years?”

“I would wait however long it took, but I can’t ask her to wait for me. I couldn’t. And who knows how long I’ll actually be Celeste’s therapist…the five years I’m supposed to wait could very well begin 5 years from now…I’ll be 40-something but then! Half my life would’ve been spent working and I’ll have the bare minimum to show for it. I don’t want to waste any more time when everything I’ve ever wanted is right in front of me.” He stated, “But I know she won’t let me. As much as I‘d want to.” 

“I’m really sorry.” Henry said and Harry shrugged.

“Time to move on I guess.” He said with a sigh.

Yes, he was gutted but he needed to move past this in order to be able to be alright. He had to. When he saw Diana for Celeste’s appointment that would be it, his last chance to just take her in. He wondered if she was as nervous to see him as he was her. He would certainly put a bit more effort into his look and hopefully she did the same, wanting to impress him, but if only she knew that her mere existence was impressive to him, she didn’t need to try anything else to have him be in awe of her. He wanted to apologize to her in person for his behavior the night before and just…leave it off like that. 

So the next morning he did get a bit more dressed up and even the idea of getting to be in her presence had significantly lifted his mood and he was looking forward to seeing her and Celeste all day. 

“Alright Jerry, prescription’s in at your pharmacy and we’re all set for a month from now, alright? Same day and same time. Remember to eat with those meds!” Harry confirmed.

“Thanks, Dr. Styles. See you then.” The man said with a smile and they shook hands before he exited through the other door in his office that led to the hallway. He locked that and then hurried into his bathroom to just look himself over before he retrieved Celeste. He was nervous to see Diana, but he was happy and excited for it as well because he missed her. This is why he was already smiling as he headed to his office door and then swung it open cheerfully.

“Good afternoon, ladies- Grace?” His greeting was cut-off and his face morphed into an expression of utter confusion upon seeing Grace sitting beside Celeste, not Diana. “Where’s Diana?” He asked right away, out of pure instinct really and Grace’s eyes went wide and she shook her head slightly as Celeste stood from her seat.

“She had tutoring hours to help her class prep for their first Spanish test.” Celeste cut in with a smile and he looked over to her and smiled.

“Oh right, summer school!” He chuckled, playing off his disappointment, “How was your bake sale?” He asked and she smiled wider.

“Really good! Mom got us sprinkles cupcakes and people were really going for those.” She shared enthusiastically. “Though your cupcake was better.” She said to him and he chuckled.

“Oh really?” 

“Yes, 100% honest!” Celeste said and he chuckled.

“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it. Let’s head on in, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Celeste hummed and made her way inside.

“S’good to see you again, Grace.” Harry said and she smirked.

“You don’t have to lie, I know you’re disappointed.” She said quietly with a small smile and he chuckled.

“Just let me at least pretend, Grace.” He said with a slight chuckle and he shrugged.

“Sorry. She really was busy though.” She said to him and well, he wasn’t going to tell her that he knew she was lying. “Also, here.” She said standing up and handing over some cash for Celeste’s visit, “She said Celeste often forgets.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled, “Thanks.” He said and then turned to head into his office. He was definitely in a shitty mood now. He knew it would be hard to see Diana, but he’d rather be sad after seeing her than be sad because he did not get to see her at all. 

**********

Celeste was greeting Misty on her little tower as she saw from the corner of her eye that Dr. Styles settled into his seat and just reached for his notebook. He was usually a lot chattier and happy to see her and so she wondered if maybe she’d done something wrong. She was a bit insecure because she never wanted to make him upset at her and even thinking that he was upset at her about something gave her the same feeling she got in her chest and stomach when her mom was upset at her for something. She felt anxious now and she was scared to ask, so she just kept petting Misty as she asked.

“Are you upset at me or something?” She asked and Dr. Styles was frowning a bit when she finally looked over at him.

“No, I’m not upset at you. I’m sorry. It’s just been a stressful day for me and my weekend wasn’t too good so ummm yeah…sorry.” He apologized and with that she made her way over to the couch. Harry wasn’t surprised that Misty hopped off of her tower and followed Celeste to the couch. She smiled as soon as she heard the little bell on her collar jingle to indicate she was on the move behind her.

“It’s OK, bad days happen.” She said with a soft smile, “I forgot to mention last time that I’m going to band camp at the end of the week, I’ll be gone for a month.”

“Oh, that’s cool! Are you excited for that?” He asked and she nodded eagerly.

“Yeah, it’s my first time going and a few of my friends from band get to go so it should be fun. I hope…” she said nervously. She was nervous about Ben and how things would play out…was this a chance for summer romance? Would he ask her to be his girlfriend at the end of camp? Or would she maybe get to have her first kiss?

“What’re you smirking about there?” He asked with a chuckle and she immediately stopped smiling.

“Nothing…just thinking about camp.” She lied and he hummed knowingly.

“Sure thing.” Dr. Styles smirked and she went all pink in the cheeks, “I’m not gonna push on that if you don’t want to talk about it. But we can talk about whatever it is.” He assured her and she nodded and got the courage to look back into his eyes and as she did she wussed out.

��Yeah, no I don’t think I can talk about this with you.” She said after a few moments and he chuckled.

“Alright, that’s fair.” He said and she smiled bashfully. “So ummm…if we’re not going to talk about band camp what are we going to work on today?” He asked her and she shrugged.

“I don’t know, you’re the grown up.” She said with a smile and he chuckled.

“Right…” he said and before he could ask her something she spoke up.

“Can we talk about why you’re having a bad day?” She asked and he smiled.

“That’s thoughtful of you, but this is about you.” He said and she sighed.

“Well… I guess we can talk about band camp.” She said and he chuckled again, “I’m a bit nervous as this will be my first time away from home for that long. I’m worried I’ll get home sick.” She explained and he hummed, “Mom and I usually take a vacation over the summer with Grace, which I mean that’s not happening anymore since she used the money to pay for my camp so I do feel kinda bad for that. I know she looks forward to going away for a bit and we won’t be, she’s gonna be stuck at home teaching all month long. Kinda feel bad for ruining her plans.” He said and Harry nodded in understanding.

“I mean, do you think your mom regrets allowing you to go to camp?”

“Probably not…she seemed excited about it at first, but as we get closer she seems a bit sad now. I think it’s hitting her that she’s gonna be all alone for a bit.” She explained and well, that made Harry sad. Diana would definitely feel bummed and well, he knew from Henry that he and Grace were planning to go to Seattle for a week, so Diana would be all alone then as well.

“Is there anything you can do to make her not feel lonely?”

“Yeah…I think just check in with her every day before I go to bed or something?”

“Yeah, that’s a good option.” He agreed with a smile, it was forced for sure but he couldn’t help but wonder if Diana was happy about Celeste going to band camp because it meant they could have more time together and now they couldn’t have anything. 

Celeste watched as Dr. Styles’ smile fell just a bit and she felt bad. She knew something was wrong because he was not at all himself today. He seemed distracted and disappointed, she was glad it had nothing to do with her, but it still made her sad to see him so low and in the dumps.

“Are you feeling OK after what happened with that boy?” He brought up to her and she glanced up at him quickly and nodded.

“It’s fine. We talked about it the next day at school. It was just a misunderstanding.” She said and he hummed.

“Do you…like him?” He asked her and she felt her face heating up again.

“A bit? He’s just a friend though so he can do whatever he wants.” She assured him as best as she could and he hummed.

“Does he like you back?”

“Maybe…” she said cooly as she reached over to pet Misty who was sitting like a little loaf under the coffee table.

“Does he know you like him?” He asked and she sighed.

“Yes, he knows. Well “like” is…a bit much. He’s just cool. It’s not like I want to like…be his girlfriend or something like that.” She said with a shrug and he smiled at her because the blush staining her cheeks said otherwise.

“Oh OK. You just seemed really bummed out by that the other week. Thought maybe you were going out or something, it seemed serious.” He said and she glanced up to him.

“Did it?” She asked and Dr. Styles nodded in confirmation.

“Had this whole thing about relationships ready for you just in case.” He said and she smiled bashfully.

“Well you can still tell me if you want because well, you never know!” She said and he chuckled.

“Sure. So ummm…I think the first thing to know is that when you’re at this age most people don’t really…take your love life seriously. They play it down because you’re young or whatever other BS reason they have. However, I want you to know that no matter what age you are, your feelings are real and they’re valid and I want you to know that I will never be the kind of person to burst your bubble. And I know for a fact your mum feels the same way because well, your dad was her first boyfriend and well, here you are, that’s as real as love gets!” He said and she laughed softly.

“I mean…I was an accident.” She said with a small shrug and he chuckled.

“A happy accident then because if she didn’t want to have a forever reminder about her love for your dad, Wes, well then you wouldn’t be here, you know?” He said and she hummed pensively, “Especially after all the hurt that him being gone caused her. I mean, she loved him for real, you know? It didn’t matter that she was a teenager.” He said and she smiled.

“That’s true.” She agreed. 

“So yeah, all love is real and valid. Second thing is what I told you after we had dinner after your concert and I’ll say it again because I think this is the piece we all have a hard time getting through our heads. You’re worth so much more than to have anything less than someone’s full effort, Celeste. Every person deserves to be loved well and wholeheartedly, so if you ever feel like someone is not doing their part or they’re not reciprocating or respecting you or the relationship, or if you get betrayed by someone, as hard as it can be, letting go is the best thing for you. Sometime love requires sacrifice and compromise, but it’s only sometimes and you shouldn’t be the only one experiencing that in a relationship.” He said and she nodded.

“Last thing is just that heartbreak feels like the end of the world. It always does, no matter how many times you experience it, it never gets easier.” He said to her, “But I promise you, it’s not the end of the world. You will be OK again and you will find the strength to pull yourself back together and to feel joy and you will likely fall in love multiple times in your life. But when you’re going through that it just feels like you’re…lost for a while, I guess? Sometimes it does feel…hopeless,” He said as he just faced the reality of his own feelings, “and that’s OK. Losing a love or even the hope of a love sometimes, it can be demoralizing and it can feel so lonely. But all that matters is that you know that there will always be people who love you and that one day you’ll wake up and feel like yourself again and that’s something you can look forward to.” He said with a small smile and she smiled back at him.

“Good tips.” She said and he smiled.

“Well, I try.” He said as he glanced down at his lap with a chuckle.

“Dr. Styles, do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend or anything?” She asked and he glanced back up to her and shook his head.

“Not at the moment.” He responded.

“Do you feel sad about that?” She asked and he shrugged.

“Sometimes I do, other times I’m quite glad I don’t have anyone.” He said and she looked at him weird.

“Why are you glad?”

“Because sometimes relationships are complicated. And sometimes people hurt you and in my line of work I see that a lot, I see a lot of emotionally hurt people and I just feel relieved that there’s no chance that could happen to me being single.”

“You don’t want kids?”

“I mean…I could adopt or foster. Don’t need a partner for that.” He smiled.

“That’s right!” She said with a big smile at his response, “That makes me happy for you because I think you’d be a really great father if you ever wanted to be.” She said and he smiled upon hearing that.

“Wow, thank you. That’s kind of you to say, Celeste.” He said softly and she nodded.

Celeste was pleased that that seemed to help cheer him up a bit more.

**********

After that little heart to heart Celeste shared with Harry how she had confronted a difficult conversation with a “friend”. He knew she was referring to this unnamed boy she liked, but he was happy to break down what she did to make amends. He was so proud of her for being open and honest about her own shortcomings to this person and took ownership of any hurt she might have caused. He loved knowing that he was helping her and guiding her through her life along with Diana. He wished he could be there more. He could just see how beautifully a family with the three of them would work. And so as he walked her back out to reception he wished her luck at camp and she hugged him tight and thanked him for his help. He needed that hug so bad, so he was grateful for it. Then finally, Grace was waving goodbye with a sympathetic smile as she left his office.

Harry’s day had ended on a positive note. He finished transcribing his notes and closed out for the day and packed up Misty before heading home. He fed her and changed into something a little more causal, he felt kind of dumb for dressing up, and then headed to one of his favorite pizza spot, he was in need of some comfort food. He plopped down at the little bar and waited for a waitress to come by. He was just minding his business, trying to decide what he wanted when he felt a tap on his shoulder and he glanced back to see none other than Rebecca smiling at him.

“This seat taken?” She asked and he laughed happily upon seeing her.

“Hey!” He greeted her and scooted out of his chair and they hugged tight, “You alright?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, been pretty good. Are you waiting on anyone?” She asked and he shook his head.

“No, s’just me if you want to join me?” He offered and she nodded and settled into the spot beside his. They talked about the menu first and decided to share a pizza before they placed their orders and soon were slightly angled towards each other to be able to look at each other properly. “So what’s new with you?” He asked and she sighed and bit her lip before glancing up at his eyes.

“I’m at the DA’s office now, I’m with the specialized prosecutions unit, I’m working cases involving major narcotics at the moment.” She shared and he nodded and smiled.

“That’s amazing! Congratulations, I love that for you.” He said with so much genuine pride for her, she worked really hard.

“Thank you. I ummm… am also two months pregnant.” She said and his eyes went wide.

“Oh my god! Seriously?” He asked with a bright smile and she nodded, “With Eddie? That was his name right?” He asked and Rebecca nodded.

“Yeah, that was his name. And yeah, with him…I mean, it was the last thing I ever expected to be honest.” She giggled and he nodded as he listened, “But…it just felt…right. Like when I found out I wasn’t freaking out or anything, I was happy about it. And well Eddie is still at the other firm, after I left they bumped him up to my job, but he’s about to be hired on as a lawyer there. He’s really good and he’s young so they can keep him around for longer. He was really happy about the pregnancy news as well so ummm, we’re just planning on moving in together in the next month or so.” She finished and he chuckled.

“That’s all really amazing. I’m really happy things are going so well for you.” He said and she smiled.

“Thanks, Harry.” She hummed.

“And where’s Eddie now?”

“Late night. There’s a huge manslaughter case and ummm, they’re all quite occupied with that. Opening statements are in two days so it’s all hands on deck time. I just came from there actually. Was dropping off some dinner but I just couldn’t bring myself to eat chicken shawarma, it made me so nauseous just having to transport it.” She said and he chuckled.

“You and smells have always had a complicated relationship.” He recalled.

“Even more so now!” She said with a giggle, “And what about you? How’ve you been?” She asked and he smiled lightly.

“Good.” He said curtly and she looked at him incredulously.

“You can be honest with me, you know?” She said softly and he sighed.

“I’ve been better.” He said with a more neutral expression, “The last week or so has been…rough.” He admitted and she pouted.

“Why, H? What’s going on?” She asked and he sighed.

“Just…shit with someone else. Nothing too bad.” He assured her as he reached for his beer and took a swig of it.

“So you’re dating someone?” She asked and he shook his head.

“No, it didn’t really work out actually.”

“Oh, why not?” She frowned and he bit his lip before just saying it.

“It’s my client’s mom. The girl I had started seeing at the beginning of the year, Celeste.” He said and her eyebrows arched up a bit.

“Oh.” She said and he nodded. “Diana?”

“Yeah, that’s her.” He smiled sadly, “Obviously, it can’t happen. I just…hadn’t been completely honest about the repercussions were something to go wrong and I mean, additionally I would need to cut Celeste from my client roster and I can’t do that to her. As much as I love Diana, I love the kid too and I could never just abandon-”

“You love the kid?” She interrupted and he sighed.

“Yeah…I fucked up. I know I did.” He sighed. “I got too invested and too close to them. And like…fuck, I fell for Diana so fast. It was one of those things where I was in too deep before I even realized it.” He explained and she nodded in understanding.

“Yeah, that can happen. Have you guys like…you know?” She asked and he shook his head.

“It’s been close…we’ve been together for other things…” he said and she snorted at how awkward he was being, “And like…yeah, but not everything. And ummm, we had our first date last week. This whole conversation came up on the drive over and upon arriving we concluded that we were being selfish and stupid for even attempting and like…we just ended up going home because the night was ruined and that was it.” He shared with a frown on his face now.

“I’m so sorry, Harry.” She said reaching for his hand and he sighed.

“She’s the one, Becs.” He said to her and she frowned even more, “Saying no to that has been so hard.” He said softly, “I’v never felt anything like this before. We would be so great together…” He said with a soft smile.

“Does she feel the same?” Rebecca asked and Harry nodded.

“Yeah.” He confirmed and Rebecca sighed.

“Then don’t give up, Harry!” 

“I don’t want to, but I can’t pursue this! I could lose my licenses to practice if someone else found out about it. I would have to ask Celeste to find a new therapist which she has no intention of doing and she already dreads the idea of her mom dating.” He said, “My responsibility is to my client’s first. And having that more complex feeling towards Celeste makes it even harder to be selfish. She would not take it well and we would both completely break her trust…” he shook his head, “We just…we can’t.” He said simply.

“I see. Well, I’m really sorry, I hope things can get a bit more uncomplicated down the line.”

“I hope so too.” He said softly and just then their food came out and he thanked the waitress as he devoured the large Margherita pizza before them with his eyes. “No more sad talk, let’s just fuck this up.”

“Deal.” Rebecca agreed and they got to eating and made more light conversation. They stayed for about an hour more and even split some spumoni before they were heading out for the night. “Well thank you for allowing me to join you. I’m really glad we ran into each other. I’ve been thinking about you a lot, so it was fateful.” She said and he smiled.

“Yeah, it was really great to see you too.” He said as he opened his arms and hugged her for a moment.

“You deserve everything you want, H. You’re the best person I’ve ever known I swear it.” She said as she pulled back, “It’s all going to work out exactly as it should.” 

“Thank you.”

“Yeah.” She smiled, “And if you ever need anything, including a friend to put away another pizza with, give me call.” She said and he chuckled.

“Thanks, Becs. And again, congratulations to you and Eddie for everything you’ve got going on. It’s really great to see you thriving.”

“Thanks, H. I’ll see you around.” She said and he smiled and waited for her to drive off before walking back to his car. He really needed that today and he walked away from that feeling better about everything. If Rebecca was thriving surely his time was coming as well. He couldn’t accept that this is just how things were supposed to be, that it wouldn’t work out with Diana. It had to. It just had to.

************

“Are you sure you have everything?” Diana asked Celeste one last time as they pulled into the school parking lot and she nodded.

“Yep, I checked every box on my list.” She assured and Diana nodded.

They got out of the car and Diana unloaded Celeste’s suitcase while Celeste got on her backpack and then grabbed her guitar from the trunk. They started heading around to where the buses parked and as soon as they made it through the gate Ozzy and Geri were waving at her like maniacs and Celeste chuckled as she waved to them. Celeste turned to her mom as she heard her sniffle and then giggled.

“Mom, it’s just a month!”

“A month is a long time! We’ve never been away from each other for that long.” She excused her tears.

“I know but please don’t cry its embarrassing.” She said more softly as they got closer and closer to her friends.

“Ughhh…you should be grateful I care enough to cry for you, my mom never cried for me.” She said with a sniffle and Celeste sighed.

“I am grateful for your love and support, but just…be cool, mom.” She said lowly as they were just 30 feet away or so now.

“Fine.” Her mom sighed through a slight chuckle.

“And you can just drop me off here.” Celeste said and Diana scoffed, but stopped walking as Celeste turned to her with a small smile. “I love you. Thank you for letting me do this.”

“You’re gonna have a blast, cariño.” She assured her with teary eyes and Celeste just smiled.

“I hope so. I’ll text you every night when I’m in bed-”

“Yeah, until you get acclimated and forget about me next week. I know you.” Her mom joked and Celeste giggled bashfully with a shrug.

“I will try my best to text you every night before bed.”

“I can accept that.” She said and Celeste just sighed as she hugged her mom tight. “Be good and follow the rules to the best of your abilities, yeah?”

“I will.” Celeste assured.

“Look at me, for a sec.” Her mom said and Celeste glanced into her eyes, “And please for the love of god, have so much fucking fun.” She said and Celeste’s smiled widened and her mom’s smile mirrored her own, “You’ve had such a rough year and you pulled through, you deserve this, mamita. I’m really proud of you and I love you with my whole heart.” She sniffled once more and Celeste couldn’t help but get a bit teary-eyed as well before hugging her mom tight once again.

“Thanks, mom. I love you.” She whispered before pulling away and grabbing her suitcase from her mom and rushing off to meet Geri and Ozzy who called out their goodbyes to her mom as well. 

Celeste got her things down into the storage area and soon the three of them climbed up into the bus. There were already a few people in there and as Celeste looked around her eyes got caught on a pair of brown eyes near the back of the bus. She smiled at Ben and he smiled back at her. Geri and Ozzy slid into a row and Celeste slid into the one behind theirs and they started chatting until the bus was loaded with everyone that was signed up to go. The band teacher announced for them to find their seats so that she could take roll and Celeste was just buckling herself in when someone plopped down beside her and she turned, expecting to see a random person, but it was Ben.

“Are you saving this seat for anyone?” He asked softly as the teacher announced she was about to take attendance.

“Yeah, you.” She said with a flirty smile and he chuckled timidly.

“Celeste Beltran!” She heard her name.

“Here!” She raised her hand and then turned back to him waiting for them to call his name in a few seconds.

“Tyler Brooks…Benjamin Caldera!”

“Here!” Ben called and the teacher moved on as he turned back to her, “I missed you.” He said and she blushed.

“Ummm…me too. Missed you, not missed me because, that’s stupid.” She chuckled and he sniggered.

“Yeah, I get what you mean.” He assured her.

“How were things with your cousins?”

“Really fun. How’s you break been so far?”

“Good too, more relaxed than anything.”

“First camp is always the one where you overdo it since it’s like your first time, so it’s good you got some rest.” He said with a smile. They continued catching up a bit, but as soon as the bus started rolling away he glanced down at her hands on her legs and he just reached for it. Her eyes darted into his right away with anxiety. Sure she wasn’t bullied anymore, but people still thought she was a freak after everything.

“Are you sure that it’s OK if people see you-”

“I don’t care what other people think.” He said confidently and she smiled.

“OK then.” She said as she let her fingers slot themselves in between his. Already, things were off to a better start than she expected.

-

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[roscgcld]

NANAMI KENTO || yours

request: bestie i saw that you're open for request so hear me out 👀 what about a husband's duty but with Nanami? 😳 I'd like to think there must be people around thinking that he is a stoic as he is with his s/o when we all know he's a soft, gentle lover 🥰

(I hope i don't sound pushy in my request. I really LOVE your writings especially the domesticity ones Nanami 💕)

note: domestic!nanami is always in my head because the man is a comfort character and my standard when it comes to husband hunting - like pls sir 🥲🥲 give my crusty ass a chance. 

pronouns: them/they, afab!reader/use of kimono (traditional female clothing)

nanami kento masterlist  |  jujutsu kaisen masterlist

“Who do you think got married to Nanami-san?”

It was that time of the year again - where sorcerers gathered at the grand hall located at Jujutsu Tech; everyone mingling between one another in hopes of rubbing shoulders while also getting the latest scoop of Curse and Curse Users activities alike. Rumours flew about as usual - who would get married next, who was the sorcerer who blew up the other side of Kyoto two weeks ago, and which poor soul was being harassed by Gojo Satoru. However this time around, there was whispers of something more exciting; some say scandalous, even.

“I don’t know...but whoever that person is, they must have a few screws loose,” One of the men seated at the corner of the ballroom admitted to his companion, both of them sharing a laugh before they returned to their attention to the crowded ballroom before them. Or more so, to a specific blonde sorcerer who was nursing a glass of whiskey at the other end of the ball room.

Nanami leaned his elbow on the edge of the standing table beside him, ignoring the whining Gojo that was nested on his side as his dark brown eyes glanced around the room without a specific target in mind. Like any other day he was dressed in a suit; creaseless and almost too perfect for how much movement his job requires. The only thing that truly stands out on his day-to-day outfit would be the silver wedding band that rests on his ring finger; silver polished so well that it shone even at his slightly of movements.

When Nanami’s marriage had been revealed to the jujutsu world (courtesies of Gojo), it sent shockwaves throughout. Not only are weddings huge social events, where you invite everyone you can think of to increase your contact building, it’s also shocking that Nanami even chose to get married while still being an active sorcerer. Of course, Nanami had chosen an intimate and private service, which had angered many of the older generations; since they felt almost entitled to go to every wedding that happens in their world. 

But Nanami had never really cared of what others’ opinions; hence his calmness from the moment he entered the hall filled with people whispering and staring at him expectantly.

“Do you think he married someone in our world?,” One of the men started up once more, both of them turning back to face one another so they weren’t caught staring. “Probably not. You know Nanami-san’s stance on our profession,” One of them commented with a soft chuckle, the other agreeing with an amused smile of their own just as a hush went across the hall. 

Curious yet eager eyes now turned towards the main entrance, where a family of high prestige was making their way into the hall. Your parents were quite well-known in the jujutsu world; your mother was a well known sorcerer for specialising in curtains, whilst your father is known as a master craftsmen in Cursed Tools. In between your parents stood you; the only child of your family line who inherited a clan technique and a powerful sorcerer in your own right. 

Everyone’s eyes were immediately drawn towards your person; eagerly drinking up the simple but expensive kimono that adorn your figure beautifully. You looked like a fairy, from your delicate smile to how you seem to glide down the walkway with ease. Yet your eyes seemed to be searching for someone in the crowd, not really caring for the grand procession that was held in your family’s honour. Your eyes suddenly lit up when you spotted the person, and without hesitation you waved goodbye to your smiling parents before you made a beeline towards them. 

And there was definitely more than one shocked face in the room when you immediately made your way to Nanami Kento. 

That wouldn’t even be the most shocking part - that would definitely be Nanami smiling at you with the most softest look on his usually emotionless face as you happily wrapped your arms around one of his. You greeted a grinning Gojo with a smile and wave whilst your parents waved the others’ attention off from them; greeting the people they needed before they made their way to your side to greet Nanami as well. “W-Wait...do you think-”

“I don’t think so,” One of the men commented, giving the other a look of shock at the very thought that you, out of everyone, was his spouse. It is no surprise to anyone at all that Nanami keeps his private life secret; always saying that he does not enjoy mixing his work and private life together. But seeing the way you, a highly revered sorcerer, clinging onto Nanami’s arm whilst your parents caught up with the blonde male made him question everything he was saying moments before. “Surely, it’s a misunderstanding...”

Whilst the two men were staring at the couple with clear looks of shock, you were happily holding onto your husband’s arm while your father and him caught up briefly; discussing on some updates in your clan. A clan that he will soon be joining and helping run as your right hand man. “I am glad you decided to come,” Your father admitted before he glances over at Gojo with an amused look on his face, the white haired man having excused himself after playfully kissing the back of your hand to give your family some privacy. “Or should I be thanking Gojo-san for dragging you out..”

“It was actually because I lost a bet with Y/N,” Nanami admitted with a tired sigh, giving you a loving glance at your laugh as you gently slapped at his chest; to which he just chuckles softly at your reaction. “You make it sound like I am bullying you,” You commented with a shake of your head whilst he made a slight face, nodding along with your statement. It seems that he had taken the phrase ‘happy wife, happy life’ quite literarily. “Nonsense, my love. I would never accuse you for such a crime.”

Your mother giggles quietly behind the sleeve of her kimono, always enjoying the subtle and straightforward jabs from Nanami. Who just gave you a far too perfect smile as he reaches over to rest a warm hand on yours, even giving it a reassuring squeeze when you gave him an unamused glance. “Nanami Kento, you are so mean to me. Yet if I were to tell anyone of your ways, people will think I am the insane one,” You can’t help but grumble as you rest your cheek against his arm, ignoring your husband’s soft chuckle. 

Whilst he was quietly apologising to your pouting self, your parents can’t help but share a happy loo in silence, happy that you two had found one another to spend the rest of your lives together. When you had first brought the blonde man home as a boyfriend, they were hesitant. They’ve both heard of Nanami Kento; rumours of his power during the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons had spread quite quickly amongst the ranks.

But with those rumours also brought whispers of the man himself, of how he seems so cold and closed off even to his closest of companions. Even Gojo Satoru, a man known for his charms and talkative personality, admits that it was hard to keep Nanami’s interest for long. Your mother was especially worried when you had revealed to them that you and Nanami have been talking for some months now, and he had invited them to a restaurant to meet for the first time. As much as she trusts your judgement when it comes to choosing your lover, the idea of you being with such a cold man made her heart worry. 

However they had never expected this ‘cold and aloof’ man to act so warm and soft around you. The harsh and cold eyes seem to melt and soften whenever he is beside you; his monotone and constantly annoyed tone becoming warmer and loving whenever he addresses you. And even though he keeps it quite subtle, he does small things like playing with your fingers between his, resting a hand on the small of your back when you get agitated, or quietly praising you for doing or saying things that he knows took quite a lot of courage that eases the worry in their hearts. 

At the end there was no reason for them to say no - they were fully convinced that he is the perfect husband. And they were not wrong.

As your parents shared a conversation with you quietly, Nanami took this brief moment to glance around the room. The once warm and loving look he had on seeming to be a trick of the eye to those who have been watching the family converse with one another; as Nanami was giving everyone his infamous cold and annoyed stare. Paired with a held back, but clearly annoyed scowl tugging at the corner of his lips.

From the outside in, no one will be able to fully understand just what was it that made you seem so interested in the stoic man. Yet they will never get to know him the way you do, see the sides of him that he has never shown anyone but you. And whilst to others you were called a fool for loving a man like Nanami Kento, you are willing to take that title with stride. 

Because no matter what, you are content just being able to call him yours.

wanna read more? > nanami kento masterlist  |  jujutsu kaisen masterlist

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform.

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

Writing for Eddie? 😳 what would that entail so I can agree!

OKAY OKAY OKAY STOP ME IF I RUN ON FOR TOO LONG

so he’s a very goofy bf <3

Maybe Y/n and Eddie have known each other since like preschool since they in the same grade (obviously y/n being 18 bc I’m not into that, him being 20 like it said in the show, he failed his senior year twice. So you’re both senior) but didn’t really talk because they run with two different groups

Maybe shes with the art kids, or popular (let me know about which one!!!!) and since he’s one of the “geeks and freaks” he wasn’t around her much

But then senior year hit and maybe y/n became friends with Nancy so since Mike is obviously friends with Eddie he was just around when y/n was around

And Eddie finally got the courage to talk to y/n when she had to drop Mike off to play d&d bc Nancy was busy

And he comes up to the car all 😁 like always and he starts out with some cringy shit like “what’s cooking, good looking?” And y/n was instantly intrigued bc of how goofy the man is but also his style is so cute and she wasn’t sure if he really was all metal head, scary, big and mean like he tried to put on

And soon enough she figured out that some of those are true, but he’s a total softy 🥺

Always wanting to hold your hand, learning your favorite songs on guitar so he can play them for you, anytime he’s upset he goes to you and rants and sometimes cries to you and you get to wipe his pretty tears, he’s always wanting to cuddle, when you have sleepovers he never leaves your side and always wants to be cuddled up, omg he would even be one of those people who sit in the bathroom while you shower and talk to you because he didn’t want to be alone and he wanted to be away from you while under the same roof

Speaking of sleepovers

I feel like it would take him a while to let y/n stay at his trailer because his bedroom his messy and the trailer is a little messy (the maid took the week of again iygyg) but once he was able to have a day off where he wasn’t focused on school he would clean up the trailer as much as he could- or as much as he knew how to and invite y/n over to stay the night

And like y/n would be so excited to be over there, thanking him over and over for finally inviting him over

And he would be so happy she was so happy

Trying to cook her a meal but he’s shit at cooking so he just fucks everything up

So they order from a diner or something and have breakfast for dinner

And once it was time to head to bed he would travel on back to his room, kiss his guitar of course, and y/n would be like” :0 I’ll help you clean your room if you want all you had to do was ask if you needed my help!!!” (The mess stressed me out the first time I saw his room) and he would get a little embarrassed like “oh, yeah, sorry”

But she didn’t mind bc that’s her man and if he needs a little help of course she’ll help! So she cleans for him and he’s like “you don’t have to do this plz, it will get messy again soon enough” and she’s all “hush! Once it gets messy again I’ll help you clean again” she thought it was cute bc it was so boyish of him to still kiss his guitar, have his laundry, dirty magazines, all that strewn across the floor and stuff

And she would so make him have self care days like she does every weekend

So she would tell him “come over freshly showered, stinky!”

And she would make him do the face masks, hair masks, cucumber over the eyes, all of that stuff

And he would just agree bc he wants to see her happy

And he would so like “introduce” her to weed

And he would show her how to smoke and stuff bc she’s like “how do you inhale? I don’t want to do it wrong?” And she’s embarrassed bc she doesn’t want to look stupid in front of her boyfriend but he’s okay with it bc he has no reason to make fun of her. He just wants her happy and safe the first time she smokes

And omg they would have sooo much fun and eat everything in the trailer together 🥲

And their pet names for each other

I feel like Eddie would be such a “baby girl, sweets, beautiful, pretty girl, etc. kind of guy” and she would call him “stinky, Ed, baby, babe.” And every time she called him “stinky” (which was often) he would get all ☹️😣 but it was cute to see his reaction because he started acting like a baby

Plz the boys would so tease him for it

Eddie would be so into d&d that night, his show voice on, getting so excited but every time y/n made a noise (maybe she’s just sitting in and watching bc Eddie missed her company) he would turn back and break his crazy character like “you okay, sweets?”

And i just know he’s so funny and so goofy and he’s always making her laugh and flirting with her ☹️🥺

And omg once he finally graduates they would graduate together 🥺

(Shut up I know what happens the last episode but that’s a big fat lie and I’m ignoring it and I haven’t even watched it bc I’m trying to cope without seeing it)

She would be so proud of him

Help and I feel like his uncle would love her because she actually helped Eddie study and she pushed him to his absolute best in school

And her parents would eventually love him

Ugh

And she would go to every single one of his gigs no matter what :(

And she would force all her friends to come even tho they weren’t into all that metal music kind of stuff but she knew Eddie deserves the crowd because let’s be honest he’s knows how to shred that fucking guitar

Help but he would be so horny 🥸

After their first time of course

Maybe they lost their virginity’s to each other :(( lmk what you think abt that!!!

And after their first time he would be so attached

Just so touchy

More touchy than he was before

A hand on her thigh

Taking a quick grab at her tits

Stop and she would wear all his Iron Maiden, Metallica, old horror shit like rob zombie and stuff, all those kinds of shirts (my dads a huge metal head so I grew up with this🙏)

And he would be a soft dom, right?

Like all cute during sex, smushy, kisses, holding hands, but then again some times he would get a little too freaky

Knives, blood, they would both so have a crying kink, degrading, hot wax, piss (?) 👁👁, spit, all of that

And sometimes he would give it his absolute all, the knives out, licking over her little cuts, his grip leaving bruises

But then other times he would be all soft, gentle strokes in and out while he tells her how pretty she is while pressing kisses all over her cheeks

Help… the stains on his sheets… 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

And let’s act like all that stuff with Chrissy never happened and like they aren’t all severally traumatized bc they live in actual hell HELODHDB

That’s all I’ve got

Read more

[cyancherub]

I don’t wanna overwhelm you wi film recs bc horror movies r my JAM but!!! Here are some of my faves 💕💕 most of em are either female-led or female-focused and I think that’s very special and sexy actually

Swallow (technically a thriller & Not Horror but. Pica freaks me out & the mc’s gets worse throughout the film. Has a happy ending though!)

Faces In the Crowd (another thriller so not horror & critics really didn’t like this one 🥲 but I thought the concept was hella cool & I enjoyed it so idc)

Battle Royale isn’t an English language film but it’s one of the best films ever made, period. I will not accept any criticism of it

Hush is also really good!! The premise is quite fun and the cat &mouse concept really gets flipped on its head, plus the ambience is incredible since there’s very little dialogue

Grace - do NOT watch if you have pregnancy trauma. DO watch if you liked Rosemary’s Baby tho 🤠

The VVitch (SCARY)

The Love Witch (sexy. Scary. Has witches and beautiful women who kill men. Also the film is very vibrant and colourful just like the original Suspiria. What’s not to like)

American Mary!!!!!!!! Do not watch this if you’re squeamish bc it’s probably one of the worst to date body-horror wise. But omg it’s SO GOOD!!! Medical malpractice is my favourite flavour; getting revenge on your attacker IS MY FAVOURITE FLAVOUR

Spring is another body horror film but it’s less (??) gory than AM; also there’s a strong romantic plot driving it which is cute in its own disturbing way

Carrie is a cult classic and for GOOD REASON!! Both the original and the remake are really, really good. I recommend both of em bc they aren’t quite the same :~)

Jennifer’s Body - again, cult classic level and it’s what it deserves

Misery is REALLY claustrophobic and that makes it more horrifying than the gory films on this list tbh

Lots of Stephen King books turned films are actually really good!! A Good Marriage was not so don’t watch that but Gerald’s Game is FANTASTIC. In The Tall Grass I haven’t seen but heard good things about - also IT was too scary for me and I had to turn it off LMAO

Omg I can’t believe I almost forgot A Cure For Wellness; this isn’t body horror but god it will make you squeamish AF - I had to sit down on three separate occasions to get through it LMAO. It’s a bit long and tbh the pacing is a bit too slow for me to consider it scary per se; but nobody will deny that the film is achingly beautiful. Sterile & clean and hiding very dark secrets. Not scary and yet terrifyingly scary??? I so recommend

Circle (not scary; fuckin stressful to watch tho lol)

The Boy (also not really scary; the plot is actually kinda sad when when you think abt it? I’m including it anyway tho cos I’m horny for the killer 😏)

Japanese horror genuinely gives me nightmares. Asian horror in general is just. horrifyingly scary idk what they be putting in the water over there but I love it. That being said; if you watch any, plz don’t watch the americanised english-language versions! The Ring & One Missed Call were terribly scary but their American remakes were just terrible full stop haha

Srry this was a lot!! I got way too excited 😁😁

THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE LIST !!!! of these i've watched hush, carrie, gerald's game, the boy, the vvitch, and a cure for wellness !!!! i enjoyed all of them especially a cure for wellness it was so interesting! i'll check out the others as well !! <33

I COMPLETELY AGREE THAT ASIAN HORROR IS PETRIFYING OFFGHJ. one missed call, the ring, the grudge, shutter, a tale of two sisters .... THOSE FILMS HAVE HAUNTED ME FOR YEARS !!! in the best way omg. i need to look for more so i can be scared shitless :> LMAOO