#I actually wanted to write something more romantic but my mood was just naah

[cawcawpeasants]

Happy Birthday, Nozel

Yeah, I wrote something. Been some time. Hope y’all like it and also a good new year!

He was sitting in the dimly lit office, brooding over the cup of tea in front of him and staring at it, like it was holding the cure to all his issues.

Issues which have caused him a nonstop sour mood for at least a month now and a throbbing headache that had been holding on for nearly as long, too.

He threw a look out the window. It was dark outside already, well, at this time of the year night began at 4 pm, so that was not unusual. The snow was the only thing that sprinkled a bit light into all this darkness. Or what kind of muddy grey mess was left of it.

Nozel scrunched up his Nose.

Yeah, pretty was different. It definitely did not bring him into a festive or celebratory mood like others.

He leaned back in his high office chair and took a sip from his tea and instantly burned his tongue.

Annoyed from the new pain which flared up his headache again, he all but threw the offending beverage back on his desk.

        Most wonderful time of the year, as if! he thought

He threw a look at the calendar hanging on his wall, which told him in bright letters that it was December, the 29th already. The year was as good as gone and he somehow managed to make it through the whole charade of anniversaries, events and of course Christmas with not only his relatives, but what seemed to be the whole noble court of clover.

It was a strain, it was a bother, but as royalty they had a reputation to uphold, which included representing their wealth and grandeur by hosting exquisite and lavish balls and celebrations.

The family exclusive part was mostly a dinner the night before, and even that was…difficult to go through sometimes.

It wasn’t that it was bad, or that he wasn’t grateful for what he had, but he remembered when this time was greater, warmer, happier.

He felt like something heavy was sitting on his chest. He had been feeling this the whole time now, rendering unable to get into a more uplifted mood.

He reached for the tea again, again finding it to be to his distaste, but for another reason this time.

        Cold! How Disgusting. Well, only slightly more disgusting than in                           its hot state.

He decided, to take this as a sign that the tea would not help him any further in his problems. A quick look at his desk told him, that there, too, was nothing left that could divert his thoughts from depressing memories. He had worked through all the different papers, reports and requests, burying so deep in his work that it seemed he was well off for a while. This should last till at least the first weak of January, given that around new years things were rather slow in the kingdom.

Well, the people maybe were, but time sure wasn’t. A glance to the big watch across his desk told him, that the Calendar had been wrong.

It was the 30th already.

       Happy birthday to me… 30 already, I cannot believe that this will be my               16th birthday without M-

Nozel stood up abruptly, forbidding himself to continue that thought

He grabbed his coat, extinguished the light and went on his way to the castle. He had thought about sleeping in his chambers at the Base, but since tomorrow he was supposed to present himself early for a royal only birthday celebration brunch at the castle anyways, he decided that it would make more sense in his bed there.

When he reached the inner court, he stopped for a small second, looking back at the windows of the castle which houses the Silver Eagles, but saw nothing that caused him to worry. He couldn’t wait to come back, after his birthday celebration and the new years ball. The two events usually mostly flowed into each other, causing it to be a long and exhausting thing to attend, let alone host and be centrum of.

He reached for his grimoire, looking through the pages until he found the spell to make a small mercury eagle he could ride on. He held the tome in his hands for a minute, staring at the familiar pages and binding, slowly tracing the pattern with his fingers. It was the best birthday gift he had ever gotten, it was his greatest pride in his life to possess a magic so similar to-

       Mother…

His eyes sank away from the book, his fingers stilled, suddenly cold and numb. He gritted his teeth and put the grimoire away into its case.

It also brought him the greatest pain. He would have given everything, his magic included, if he could have had shown her his grimoire. His Magic. Who he became. She would have smiled kindly at him like she always did, she would be warm, and loving and honest in her Joy for him.

It seemed like another ten tons were added to the weights on his chest. He climbed onto the bird, before he would be anchored to the ground he stood on, destined to fall into an inevitably hole that would swallow him.

The flight back up to his home only took a few minutes, even though he wished it would’ve taken longer. He enjoyed the cool air across his face, it seemed to drown out the heaviness which had befallen him. Also, he knew that this would be his last private moment, alone with some peace and quiet, for all his birthday.

He closed his eyes and took one last deep breath as a preparation for tomorrow.

After he landed and passed all the palace guards, he stood in front of the royal families residences. He saw one or other room still lit, probably some servants making their preparations, but others-

            “I had a feeling, you’d still be awake”

-probably night owls like him.

He passively glanced at the other man over his shoulder, the deep sooth voice had already told him was.

            “I was working” was all Nozel answered.

Fuegoleon took that sparse answer, but not without raising an eyebrow that told Nozel exactly, that they both knew what was behind the Silva’s paper marathon. He had witnessed it for more than a decade now.

The tall redhead made a step in his direction, so they were standing side by side now. He mustered his appearance, squinting his eyes slightly at the sight of Nozel’s face.

        “You look tired”

Nozel threw him an exasperated look, not deigning that an answer. They both knew how late, or rather how early in the day it was. And what the real reason for Nozels paler than usual complexion and dark shadows under his eyes was.

The other placed a hand on his shoulder. A warmth flooded from the space into the Silva’s body, making it somehow easier to breath.

        “I would ask if you are okay, but I guess I will be getting the same answer.”           Leon’s deep voice sounded. “How about we drink a glass of wine,                         talk a bit and then fall asleep easier to get up well rested and prepared.”

The pressure of his arm and the tone of the Vermilion made it clear, that that was neither a question nor an offer.

His pride and stubbornness about receiving orders from another one flared up in his chest, but the heaviness and the lack of sleep were rendering him without energy to put into a fight against the headstrong Vermillion.

        And energy is something I should definitely be thrifty with right now. It will            be too critical a thing for the next 48 hours.

His shoulders gave a little, he was letting out a breath he had seemed to be holding since Christmas and he felt himself relax a bit.

        “Just one glass. I have to get up early after all.”

With that he stepped away from the Vermillion, leaving the warming touch behind, and carried himself over to the Vermilions side of the plaza with a steady and determined.

Leon smiled slightly at that, but his eyebrow was wandering up again. The Silva really couldn’t bother to appear weakened in any sort unless he was enclosed by walls and safe from the ever judging eyes of others.

He followed him in long strides, closing up on him. He opened the door to his families residence, who were all asleep. They could talk in peace for as long as Nozel needed. He had made sure of that.

Before the tall man let Nozel, he turned around once more.

     “Before I forget it, Congratulations Nozel”

Nozel looked him in the eyes. This was a true, well meant statement, far different from the many hollow and empty ones he has heard. He knew that they always had been, coming from Leon he wouldn’t expect it any otherwise.

He felt the warmth from before, somewhere deep inside his chest, supressing the cold heavy numbness.

      “Thank y-“

      “Congratulations to finally being an official old man now, even though your           hair colour has been letting that on for years now”

Nozel pushed himself past the grinning man into the entrance hall, letting out a loud breath through his nose to signalize his annoyance.

But even so, his headache was gone, and he felt as light as an eagle in flight.