#I actually kind of love the Ashlands lol

[mass-convergence]

First impressions of the Ashlands biome:

And

[trickstarbrave]

a hotly debated topic in the elder scrolls because morrowind gives conflicting information purposefully:

did the tribunal murder indoril nerevar?

the tribunal says they didnt, but also seems to have a lot of guilt and resentment towards him. the ashlanders say he did, but they could be simply biased against them for replacing the good daedra in worship and cursing everyone.

i think the answer is yes, they did. and also no, they didn’t.

i think when the tribunal became divinity, they did not just get super cool powers. they became every possible version of themselves that ever existed and ever will exist, including versions of themselves they made. theyre an amalgamation, so much bigger than just a group of three mortals with linear histories and futures.

there is one timeline nerevar fell due to his injuries at red mountain. there is one where he’s killed by voryn dagoth. there is one the tribunal killed him.

gods shape reality, so in the end the reality we live in is shaped by what they say happened. except the tribunal are not the only gods--we also have dagoth ur and azura (and possibly the other good daedra lol) who shape reality. so it is kind of a dragon break type situation, except no dragons were actually broken. just a tug of war and constant rewriting of events over and over by multiple parties until the water is so muddied you cant see through it at all.

i think the tribunal remember killing nerevar. they also remember him simply dying from his injuries at red mountain. they also remember voyrn dagoth killing him. sotha sil remembers watching his friend die helplessly and he remembers skinning his face. and regardless, he remembers going against what nerevar said and achieving divinity, and regrets the comprehension of all of these things. vivec too can try to rewrite his own history as much as possible, undo his life being a gang leader and skooma dealer and sex worker, but he cant undo nerevar’s compassion and love for him. he can’t help but admit his guilt in a coded message. and i think almalexia too has regrets and guilt, but she has instead reacted with anger to try and cover them up. she thinks if she kills sotha sil and vivec and gets more power, she can overcome these emotions. she can forget about nerevar. she can stop feeling guilty, and become perfect.

but as the dwemer proved, even gods are fallible. and azura puts it best:

"What you have done here today is foul beyond measure and you will grow to regret it, for the lives of gods are not what mortals think and matters that weigh only years to mortals weigh on gods forever."

[spacejammie-eimmajecaps]

1, 6?

1) Where does your literary inspiration come from? Do you have a favorite writer/writing style that you learn from?

My inspiration comes from basically everything. As far as inspiration from specific writers/writing styles, I don't think I could name anything/anyone in particular. I think I have probably unintentionally absorbed stuff from everything I've ever read, be it published works or fics. (I feel like this is one of those "someone asks you about what movie you like and you forget the name of every movie you've ever seen" questions for me haha)

Oh, but my favorite book series as a kid was A Series Of Unfortunate Events, and I probably read them twice a year until I was a teenager (and at least twice as an adult), so I'd say that probably did some kind of core memory, personality-as-a-writer type stuff to my brain. It's funny, because a friend of mine actually borrowed those from me last year, and said they were "kind of disturbing and depressing." And I was like... sorry? Lol. Idk, I loved them as a kid, and it never occurred to me that they were particularly disturbing or anything.

6) Favorite piece you've ever written?

Hmmmmmm. This is kind of hard to answer, because I lose confidence in everything I write once I forget the details of the story, which generally happens within 2-4 weeks of posting it. (I become sure that there are a horrible amount of mistakes, and I can't remember any of the scenes I like, and I worry that the plot doesn't actually make sense, or the dialogue is too cheesy, etc).

I think the only fic of mine I can read back through without cringing over mistakes or things I'd want to change is Hanamaki's IwaOi Notebook. I read it back in December, and it was just so fun, I forgot to even look for mistakes haha. So maybe that's my most favorite overall.

But if I'm ignoring those thoughts in my head that are telling me I most certainly messed things up and wrote garbage, I think I'd probably say I have a handful of stories that are my favorites for different reasons.

Into The Ocean is my favorite because when I was writing it, I felt very proud of it, and it was my first fic to go over 100k words. I liked the way I incorporated all the twists and details. It was also the first time I purposely tried to use foreshadowing, and the first time I properly made an outline.

Our Two Hearts In Ashland is my favorite because the story, in many ways, is based on themes from my own life. But it triggers my ptsd when I read it (writing certain parts was really hard), so it's not one I am likely to read again very often, if ever.

If I Fall For You is my favorite because it was my very first fic. The one that started it all. It was written with very little concern about being too cringy or embarrassing, and in that sense, there is a certain amount of.... I can't think of the word.... uh... a certain quality to it that I probably won't ever achieve again. I did go back through it to revise it earlier this year, mostly to adjust the writing style a bit.

I'll Stay By Your Side is my favorite because I love psychic AUs, and the plot twists were not planned, but worked out well anyway. At some point, I would like to go back through it and extend it a bit, because it was a little rushed. (It was one of my earliest stories, and at that point, I didn't really know how to outline or pace myself).

(Somehow, I've talked this much about the question that is "hard" to answer. Funny how that works)

[scuttling-void]

24 for all?

24. What was your motivation behind making this character? What sort of story did you want to tell?

Ahhh ok so tbh.. there is basically no thought process behind any of my characters :,^) I just make whatever feels interesting to me in the moment haha.

Mindel is by far my favorite of my tes characters <3 when I made him he was a Breton battlemage?? Somehow he turned into a disgruntled Dunmer mercenary, I'm honestly not even sure how. As a Dunmer Nerevarine he's probably really not all that interesting but oh well I love him.

Ralkag had more thought behind her, I didn't see many orc dragonborns and I love orcs! And Nana actually is very specific, I really wanted a character that worships Namira + I like the Forsworn a lot, so those things kind of just naturally connected.

Most of my other characters were developed just as a need for me to fill certain gaps or play through guild questlines. Like Philo was originally made as a thieves guild character (even tho he's no longer actually associated with them) and I made Vol bc I thought an Altmer vampire from the 2nd era was cool lol. I made Yanabi to add to the Morrowind main storyline and also bc I like ashlanders.

[ansu-gurleht]

ku and ashiri’s relationship is an interesting one i think. when they first met they had their spears at each other’s throats, ready to obliterate each other with magic, before they both kinda realized they’d both end up dead no matter what happened, and sorta called it a draw, laughing about it.

ku’d had some experience with crotchety old dunmer (being in house telvanni’ll do that to you), but with a crotchety old ashlander? that’s an entirely different story, and an even more frustrating one. she had basically only ever met one (1) ashlander she’d ever liked (nibani maesa), and it was mostly b/c she reminded her of her naheesh. 

ku expected ashiri to be kind of a racist bitch, like a lot of ashlanders she’d met. but aside from her initial insults (back when she thought she could scare ku away), ashiri actually doesn’t give a shit about argonians. she fought with them way back in the three banners war, and had definitely met fellow dunmer she hated more than any argonian - usually stuffy old men of the great houses, or abusive ashkhan warlords. 

ashiri expected ku to be a complete idiot. she wasn’t ENTIRELY wrong, but after their first stalemate, she realizes that ku isn’t to be trifled with, for a woman so young. quick on her feet, skilled in combat, and something of a savant when it came to several schools of magic. 

they DO eventually begin to learn these things about each other, learn that they have more in common than not, but they definitely hated each other a lot. the first time they had sex, it was definitely after some kind of fight with each other that could’ve destroyed a village, and definitely....very aggressive.

the only reason they stuck together at all in those early days was because of shared goals. now, what those goals are, i’m not sure. whatever ashiri was after that coincided with ku’s journey, it’ll probably end up in the companion mod i may or may not eventually make for her. probably had something to do with acquiring old artifacts or chasing descendants of her old clan. or maybe it had something to do with stuff that happened in the 2e. i don’t know yet.

but they eventually grew to really like, and even love each other. that somewhat aggressive element to their relationship never really left, but they developed trust and respect for one another that eventually led to....however their daughter came to be. i think it was a magical pregnancy of some kind (having a mabrigash for a wife is very helpful in that regard) so that the kid was a dunmer with some argonian traits (scaly patches of skin, really good at swimming, etc). and naturally she was born under the serpent, like her mom, continuing the mabrigash line.

(at some point in her varied career, my hero of kvatch, saf’divi, meets ashiri and her daughter, who are staying in cyrodiil while ku fights the daedra in black marsh. i don’t know if the encounter is going to be actually important in any way, aside from being a cameo, lol.)

[ashmerra]

may i kindly ask you all the oc questions?

Yes, yes you may.

Quick note:  A few OCsI won’t mention by name and a few answers will be vague just as to not spoilanything.  I have an entire fanversegoing on here.

-50 OC Asks-

Quick reference:  Meri is the Hero of Kvatch.  Arrais a Breton mage in Skyrim.  Dreyns is a Dunmer assassin.  Vitiais the Dragonborn.  Sannit is an old, former Ashlander. Veabris is an Ayleid who’saround back before the First Era.  Jaka is the Nerevarine.  Estor isNot a Thalmor ™.  Stigr is a proud Nord boi.  La’Mihr is a smart kitty.  One-Who-Knowsis yearning for the suburban Skyrim dream.  

 1. “Your first OCever?”  

That would be proto Meri. She was really the first that grew into an actual character.  She was also supposed to star in an Oblivionrewrite/webcomic/fanfic thing I drew like one page of years ago.

2. “Do you have a personal favouriteamong your OCs?”

I like different ones for different reasons!  Arra’s dialogue and one-liners, Dreyns’swhole ark of getting old, Vitia’s philosophy, etc.  etc.

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Nope.  And I’d neverconsider them mine.  I handcraft them andbake them one-of-a-kind each time.  Butmore seriously, the most I could take is an idea for a character, because Ialways like to twist things on their head and really make it my own.  I don’t enjoy writing NPCs for thisreason.  I can’t get in their head and myheadcanons get a bit much, so I’d rather just write for those I know.

4. “A character you rarely talk about?”

Tactus Gavros Sigilis!  An inspector/investigator for the Empirein Skyrim.

5. “If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?”

I think that’s not really up to me.  I can’t decide who fans will latch onto.  I know who’s the most well-liked at thistime, but that’s no indicator of who would be well-loved by a much wideraudience.  I’ll leave this one to my fans!

6. “Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?”

I do my best to give everyone unique looks andclothing/color schemes, but!  There’sthree that got based on each other and aren’t the same but even I’m confusednow.  I’ll make a separate post to breakit down.

7. “Are your OCs part of any story or stories?”

None of them exist outside of the Elder Scrolls universe,and I have yet to write fanfiction.  

8. “Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!”

Currently Arra, Sannit, and Veabris.  Though I think I’m game to RPing any of them,I already have a few more that I want to add to my RPing blog!  (btw, if you like the idea of RPing with me,all you have to do is ask.)

9. “Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?”

No.  Not give, nevergive.  But that doesn’t mean they can’tappear in your writing/meta/art, just that it’s a crossover, you don’t own themjust like I don’t own yours when I allude to them in RPs.  (Did I ever post that here?)

10. “Introduce an OC with a complicated design?”

All the ones I don’t draw, lol

Okay, more seriously…no, that’s pretty much why.

11. “Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a ‘sunshine’?”

100% Arra

12. “Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot”

Can I say all of them? My favorites are the ones who are woven into the lore and pre-existingcharacters, and ones that feel like real people and not just “ArgonainDragonborn #76”.  I like the ones whotake it as seriously as me, and as I see people do, I feel more confident totalk about and expand them.

13. “Do you have any troublemaker OCs?”

Actually, not really.  Dreyns, Jaka and Stigr can all be at times, though.

14. “Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory”

I want to legit change that to one without tragedy in theirbackstory because they’re all tragic…

15. “Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?”

Sometimes!  But I trynot to go overboard because I’m not sure if people like it.  

16. “Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?”

My Daedric biologist, I would imagine.

17. “Any OC OTPs?”

I’m not much of a shipper, honestly.  And I really can’t think of any at themoment.  

18. “Any OC crackships?”

Read 17.

19. “Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)”

I’ll pass on this one only because my answer would start gettingtoo personal for this ask.

20. “Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details(headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?”

Veabris has a beautiful singing voice that would sound agood deal like Annie Lennox.  Actually,just listen to “Into the West” and you’re good to good.  But you’ll never hear it because Vea is superself-conscious and private about singing.

21. “Your most artistic OC?”

You know, I think I overlook making them artistic justbecause I am.  It would be too obvious.  But let’s say Stigr and La’Mihr are.

22. “Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?”

In world or OOC? That’s a really important distinction! But Veabris’s intentions are usually misinterpreted.  

23. “Introduce an OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what thecharacter would be like?”

Most of them!  I workon them for a while until I feel they’re ready to be revealed.  24. “If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?”

Don’t do this to me!!!!  Ahhhh I don’t know I love them all! But Jaka would probably be the most fun to hang out with?  Then again, a day out with Sannit would begreat.

25. “The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, sharedlike/dislike for something etc?)”

Meri.

26. “Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about themagainst your will?”

Arra and yes, I’m still bitter about it.  I won’t get into it because I’d rather notmake posts like that, but if anyone would like to know feel free to message me.

27. “Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?”

Nah, they come about and the songs fit them after.

28. “Your most dangerous OC?”

Okay!  So we haveMankar Camoran’s kid, Molag Bal’s Undying Champion, a lesser Daedric Prince anda double-memoried Godkiller.  Have funwith that battle royal!

29. “Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at nightwithout telling anyone they’re going?”

Tactus Gavros Sigilis, it’s his literal job.  Wait it’s Estor’s too.  …And kinda Veabris’s.  Well!

30. “Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animalcollection?”

It’s Dreyns.  It’s soDreyns.

31. “Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like(what they reblog, layout, anything really)”

Sannit treats it like a regular website blog and only postsstories from his life or answers to asks. No reblogs and he doesn’t follow anyone.

Meri posts advanced DYI stuff and martial technique.

32. “Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonistand why?”

I don’t play horror games but I’m thinking Estor in creepy,culty fan theory version of Rorikstead. (Should I write this?)

33. “Your shyest OC?”

She’s so shy she won’t let me talk about her.

34. “Do you have any twin characters?”

Not yet!

35. “Any sibling characters?”

Yes but I won’t say just now.  Spoilers!

36. “Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else(siblings, lovers, friends etc)?”

Not currently, but I’m not against doing it.

37. “Introduce an OC who is not quite human”

The Argonian, One-Who-Knows! He’s saving up money to buy a new fancy hat right now.  Rock on, scaly bro!

38. “Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?”

I feel like it would be Vitia for some reason.

39. “Introduce any character you want!”

THESE QUESTIONS ARE TOO VAGUE AGHHHH!!

40. “Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!”

Writing “Arra’s Story” (An RP post).  The power and emotion of it and the approvingly,emotionally shocked reactions of my fellow players made me realize I couldactually write good.

41. “Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or twohere (remember sources & permissions!)”

Here and here  😊

42. “Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?”

Daedric biologist person would be!

43. “Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend tofavour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess!”

We already found out I like investigators, is that my type?

44. “Something you like about your OCs in general”

I like how they all have gotten their own personality andidentity.  It’s taken a lot of work, but Idon’t feel like personalities repeat anymore.

45. “A character you no longer use?”

I have a few in limbo. I’m not sure if they’re coming back or they’re

46. “Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?”

No.  Only because Ihaven’t told them about all the bad things I’ve done to them in the first place.

47. “Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?”

Not yet, there’s still time.

48. “OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure?”

I think they call this a “hot take”, but in my opinion everyperson has flaws and depicting them otherwise is bad character writing.  Like sure, they can be nice and all, but theystill topple the board over when they’re losing Risk (or Axis & Allies).  Showing only one side of a character seriously,(not if it’s just for laughs) is boring to me. Where’s the growth?  They don’teven need to have “flaws” per se.  Whatif the “One True Hero to Save the World” is balled up on the floor crying tothemselves because they don’t think they’re strong enough?  Hot take over and it’s probably little kidDreyns.  (Which breaks hearts because hegrows up into something not pure.)

49. “Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes”

Arra would love meme songs like “SEAGULLS! (Stop ItNow)“He-man singing “What’s up?”, and “mmm whatcha say”.  And Jaka would love reaction gifs and objectlabeling memes.

50. “Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want”

I wanna talk about how long it took to fill this out and howmany characters I resurrected from the darkest depths of my mind to completeit.  You’re welcome.  ♥

[thehikingnerd]

Traveling back to Ashland for my last leg (10/10 - 10/12)

It was a rushed haze through which we woke up, gathered our things, and loaded onto the bus, I honestly barely remember it, lol. But we made the bus and were one our way. It was about a 2 hour ride into Vancouver and we were dropped off at a huge bus station. We booked a bus to take us to Seattle and despite desperately wanting to explore Vancouver a bit, we were exhausted with very little sleep and didn't have enough time before our bus left to actually do anything anyway.  We just came to terms with the idea that we wouldn't be able to see any of Vancouver and just sat in a fast food restaurant that was built in to where we booked out tickets and tried to see if I was able to contact any friends that were living in Seattle and if not start looking at affordable hostel/hotel options in the area.  Before long we were loading onto another bus and heading for the US border.  We had to get off of our bus to go through customs at the border.  It was a pretty relaxed border crossing and despite being told that it was vital I had a form that authorized me to legally cross the boarder (without using a regular port), the guy at the border didn't even ask for it and to not be concerned that there was no stamp indicating that I had even left the US. After that we shuffled back onto the bus and were dropped off in Seattle about 2 hours later. All in All, we had only spent something like 10 hours in Canada, LOL, not even half a day. We walked out of the station and needed to find some food. We were in Chinatown and went to a place with good reviews for some pho. It was good but quite small portions by thru-hiker standards.  With no success in finding a friend to stay with, Butt'rs had found us a very cheap hotel/hostel kind of place to stay the night near the Public Market Center.  It was fairly affordable and nice to have our own room.  We took showers and rested some before heading out to dinner.  It was a weird feeling being in such a large city, we hadn't been anywhere this big and full of people in quite a while.  We did love taking advantage of all the food choices and decided to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant. All the while we both were somewhat distracted making our plans.  I wasn't exactly sure what Butt'rs plans were, he might even stay another day or two in Seattle.  But I was in a mad dash to get this last section done before I lost my motivation and was ready to damn near run this last make-up section.  It was roughly 300 miles that I had skipped and I had hoped that I would be able to do it in 10 days.  I know that might sound crazy, even to me when i first started this trail, but I was pretty sure I could pull it off and be home with a few days to spare before Halloween with Angie and friends.  I might be able to hike crazy distances but I am worn out and beginning to feel down right frail at this point.  Laying down in a soft bed and not getting up for like a week is literally my fantasy. After dinner, we went back to the hotel and I booked my Amtrak ticket for the next day to Klamath Falls, OR. For nearly half a year we had being doing this simple life at a 2 mile per hour pace and it was completely over for Butt'rs now and I was eager to get back for my last 300 miles.  We were in different places for sure, but it is hard to explain how lost you feel when your routine of eat walk sleep is over, you almost don't know how to pass time or what to do next.  We just talked and hung out and then went to sleep.  The next morning ate some free breakfast included with the stay, said our good-byes, and I was off.  I had arranged to have my very first Couchsrufing stay for when I arrived at Klamath Falls.  I have hosted tons of people over the course of like 10 years but its kind of funny that this was the first time I successfully found someone willing to host me and I was pretty thankful.  I boarded the train and had a really beautiful and scenic trip south, I like Amtrak and wished we had more train travel in the US. It was dark when I arrive at around 10:30pm and worried that I was getting in too late for the family that hosted me, but to my surprise they were up and after making a call to confirm a guy named Patrick was on his way to pick me up from the train station.  He brought me to the house where they had a pullout cough ready for me in the living room.  I met Michelle and in no time at all we were all bedding down for the night.  It had all worked out so well and I was so grateful for them helping me out.  The next morning I woke up to a family getting ready for school and their children were very cute and nice, and i loved that they weren't even shy and seemed accustomed to travelers crashing in their living room.  It was nice talking to them and getting to know them and most of all, petting their dogs :) They had given me directions to a local donut shop kind of place within walking distance and I grabbed a breakfast sandwich there before walking to a bus weird bus station.  I had to wait for a while there for the next bus to take me back to Ashland, where I had previously met back up with Dixie, Butt'rs and the crew.  The bus was at least cheap and didn't take very long before I was back in Ashland. The smoke from wild fires was back though and that was again a concern.  Throughout the day I walked around town, did yet another Darn Tough sock exchange, ate food and worked out a stay with a trail angel.  It was a little frustrating working out timing and location to meet up, after lunch I grabbed some Starbucks and waited for her to meet me there.  I got in her SUV and she was super nice.  She drove me to her house that was pretty far out of town actually, but also really nice.  She had pots and plants and fruit trees and horses and a nice house.  We just talked and I help bring in groceries.  She said her husband was a firefighter and expressed some concern to me that the trail might be closed in some sections.  I didn't like the sound of that but she said I'd be able to talk to her husband and he could double check for me later. Last i Heard it was open, and unless it was for sure closed, I was going to go and really didn't want to immediately have to touch my old spot and road walk around from the get -go.  Anyway, it was nice talking to her and it was funny, since its legal now, she said they had grown a bunch a weed on her property this year even though they didn't smoke and there was a huge gallon jar on the mantle full of nugs, lol.  She offered me some and I said thank you but I'm good. LOL.  Eventually her husband came home and the trail angel (forgot name, sadly) had made us dinner.  After dinner and talking to the firefighter husband, who was very skeptical that the trail would be open, actually helped me confirm that it was indeed still open much to his dismay.  With that confirmed, he told me that early in the morning he would take me to the place on the trail where I had rejoined my group two months back.  I couldn't believe how quickly and perfectly all the logistics had worked out, and how cheaply thanks to so many nice people. They gave me a bedroom and I went to sleep early.  

[ahiddenpath]

Vidja Games

So I checked out Game Informer’s list of the top 300 greatest video games, and they are objectively wrong, lol (I can’t imagine the fights that went into making this list??)!

I’m no critic, and I’m not interested in attempting to objectively rate games, but here are my (subjective) faves in rough order-ish, if you’re interested!  They are arranged by franchise for my sanity below the cut.

The Elder Scrolls (TES)

My all time favorite video game series is TES, although I wasn’t able to stomach playing I and II.  In order, my favorites are: Morrowind, then Oblivion, then Skyrim.

Morrowind is unfriendly to casual gamers, and even experienced folks need to learn the lay of the enormous world, how to fast travel, and even how to level and plan characters to best effect.  The learning curve is enormous, and if you decide to play a different type of character later on, you’re stuck!  You might even have to start over, since you level your character by increasing the major and minor skills you chose upfront.

But I have never experienced such an open, imaginative world.  The later installments felt both smaller and less varied.  In Morrowind, you’ll find everything from sprawling floating cities to houses built into enormous mushrooms, with ashlands, swamps, and mountainous terrains in between, complete with hell-on-earth smack-dab in the middle of everything.

Oblivion is more user-friendly than Morrowind, and it has some of the most engaging quests in the series.  What it loses in environmental diversity and sheer exploration potential, it almost- almost- compensates for in fun quests (there’s much less ‘fetch me some swamp muck’ involved), easier transportation, and the wonderful world of Shivering Isles, an expansion.

Skyrim is the most accessible of the three by far, and it’s forgiving in that it allows players to change their play style on the fly with little repercussions.  It also has the best combat.  Sadly, the repetitive environments make it far less compelling to explore than its predecessors, which is a huge part of TES’s charm for me.  I also found the enemies repetitive.  The more fanciful enemies are almost absent, and the few that exist are tied to specific daedric quest lines.  Do you know how hard it is to recharge enchanted items when you only encounter a handful of daedra?  Wolves and trolls just don’t fill them back up well.

Also, while the accessibility widens the target audience considerably, it cuts into the customization options previously available to more experienced gamers.  That was a huge disappointment for me, personally.

To be clear, though, I still adore Skyrim.

Personal anecdote:  My Morrowind strategy book was so worn that it fell apart, so I punched holes in the pages and kept it in a binder.  I took out the fast travel map and the local map of whatever area I was combing to find a dungeon door tucked into a cave hidden behind ivy or whatever.  I still have it; it’s a sentimental treasure.

The Sims

The more open-ended a game is, the more I like it, and The Sims is king of that arena!  For me, 3 is by far the best installment.  2 introduced the idea of having types of Sims with personal goals to meet to create direction for the player, but ultimately, it felt like I was stuck with the same five Sims over and over again.  The wishes and moodlet system of 3, along with the five slots for personality traits, gave me so much more power to create Sims that felt like actual characters.

I... don’t even want to know how much of my life I’ve put into The Sims...

My ranking:  3>1>2>4

It should be noted that I didn’t mind 1′s lack of direction, since my imagination alone is way more than enough to pull me forward in a sandbox game.  In comparison, 2 felt restrictive by creating five character types, limiting me to that in a way I couldn’t ignore.

Personal anecdote:  I received the original Sims for Christmas when I was in middle school.  I accidentally played from bed time until 4 AM, which is the closest I’ve ever come to pulling an all-nighter.

Sonic the Hedgehog

WHERE DO I EVEN START WITH THE BLUE BLUR.

Sonic was an enormous part of my childhood, guys.  I played all the games.  I watched both cartoons (the one with Sally and the Freedom Fighters and the one where it’s just Sonic/Tails/Eggman/some robots), I learned to read with the comic books.  I have a vivid memory of my brother taunting me by refusing to let me see his comics “because I couldn’t read”...  So I spite-learned using the comics when he wasn’t paying attention.

I don’t think I can pick a favorite!  As a kid, I played Sonic 3 the most; I was a huge Knuckles fan, so that might have played a role (also the original Sonic was too difficult for me at the time, although I certainly tried).  But I also loooooved Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure 2.  And Sonic Generations was so much fun!

Mario Bros

Lord, I was playing Mario games before I could read, I don’t...  Mario has always been around for me, okay?  It’s a huge part of my story, and the franchise is so iconic that there’s little for me to say.  There are way too many amazing games in this franchise for me to name, but personal faves include: Super Mario RPG, Super Mario World, and Yoshi’s Island.

The Legend of Zelda

This is another franchise where I don’t know what to say...  It’s too iconic for me to offer much.  Zelda games are known for their exploration and adventure, even from the beginning.  Ocarina of Time was a big part of my childhood, but I also adore the newest installment, Breath of the Wild.  And I know this may be silly, but I love Hyrule Warriors!  I can’t wait to play it on the Switch with all the DLC.

And the music???  Guys?????  THE MUSIC?!?!?!    

Bioshock 

Amazing atmosphere, fun game play, and one of the best stories in gaming history add up to an unforgettable experience.  Also a fore-runner to the idea of playing dialogue and recordings while the player explores, a trend that caught on in a huuuge way.

Persona

It’s hard to describe Persona games...  They basically combine Jungian psychology with various mythologies, sprinkle in some horror (or glob it on in the case of 3), throw in an RPG, and add a heaping serving of everyday high school life.  The games tackle a wide range of ideas and game play, creating a unique experience that has drawn a devoted following.

I’ll make this quick:

3:  Best story and atmosphere, worst/most needlessly frustrating game play, very prickly cast lol

4:  Best characters and character development

5:  Best game play (exquisitely polished game play, really), best overall style, worst story and character development

My ranking is 4>3>5.  It should probably be noted that story and character are king for me, so while 5 was incredibly polished mechanics wise, the comparatively weak story and characters sunk it to the bottom of the list for me.  It was one of those games where I understood where they were going hours ahead of time, and then they would explain “the twist” to the player for half an hour over and over and over.  Frankly, it was... kind of insulting, and soured the experience for me.

Also, Mona, I swear to god, how am I supposed to pass school if you don’t let me study or do my homework because you think I need to sleep at 5 PM every day ahhhhh!  XD

Harvest Moon

Oh god, here’s another franchise I don’t want to delve into in terms of hours I’ve spent playing O_O

I can’t even explain why I like these games...  In HM, you are a farmer, and your job is usually to prove to the villagers that you’re a valuable member of society so that they won’t evict you from your own inherited property.  (I’m curious about their deeds and legal policies, lol.  How do you write that clause up?).

These games combine farming with socialization and light dating sim elements, and time management is the name of the game.  They pull in players by tapping into the universal desire to create order and advancement.

My favorite installment is Friends of Mineral Town.  I also adored Harvest Moon 64, but the controls are sadly too dated for me to replay it.

Pokemon

I’m sure I’ve missed at least one, but I’ve played almost every mainstream release of Pokemon since Red and Blue came out.  It must be doing something right, lol!

I’m a huge sucker for games where you choose monsters to raise.  It’s so fun to assemble a team based on your tastes and raise them just so!

My favorite release is the remake of Gold and Silver.

Monster Rancher 2

OH MY LORD I played this game to the point where I’m shocked the disc still works.  In Monster Rancher 2, you find monsters by placing discs into your Play Station, which each encode a monster.  In order to access the strongest monsters, you must raise your rank as a trainer by winning official tournaments.

I wish I could explain why I latched on to this particular game so hard, but...  I think it had something to do with the massive variety of monsters, the difficulty of the tournaments (I never did hit S rank, and not for lack of trying!), and the myriad of odd ways to unlock special monsters.

Mario Kart

Seriously, who doesn’t like smiting friends and family on the race track?  MK is a fun, family-friendly way to deliver a beat down...  As long as you contain your desire to cuss like a sailor, anyway.

It’s so hard to pick a favorite here!  It’s hard to top the original for the challenge...  But Double Dash and Infinity are contenders, too.

Danganronpa

Danganronpa games are visual novels that mix survival, horror, and crime-solving into a dark, bizarre, unique experience.  I’ve written a ton about this series lately, so I won’t delve into it here, but you can check out the danganronpa tag on my blog for more.

Kingdom Hearts

These games are so charming and fun to play!  I’ve never completed one on my own- linear games are rough for me- but I’ve seen my husband play them all, even the (many) extra installments.  KH2 is probably my favorite, although Birth by Sleep was amazing, too.

Final Fantasy

I’ll admit that I don’t really enjoy playing Japanese RPGs; linear gameplay doesn’t appeal to me much in general.  But the FF franchise is famous for its sweeping narratives, imaginative environments, and breath-taking music, and I enjoy them for that.  I’ve watched my husband play X-XV, and I briefly joined him in playing XI and XIV.  My favorite is probably X...  Although I have an enormous crush on Ignis from XV.  

My favorite FF game to play is Theaterhythm: Curtain Call.

Mass Effect

How do I say this...  I don’t think I’ve ever played a game that better simulated becoming an entire universe’s hero and moral center.  In Mass Effect, you shape the world and the political climate in unprecedented ways.  By the end of 3, every player is so deeply invested in their Shepard and the world s/he created.  In that sense, it’s en epic experience without peer.

Destiny

I love playing Destiny with my husband and our friend!  I’m a titan, Tony is a hunter, and our buddy is a warlock, and together, we are... three guardians, lol!  

Okay, so the vanilla Destiny release needed some help, but it became a great game with the expansions.  I’m still waiting for that breath of rejuvenation for 2, but I treasure the time we spend together kicking ass as a team.

Left 4 Dead

This game redefined what co-op meant to me.  I always thought of it as Halo, basically competing on the same team against other players.  And yeah, you do that in L4D...  But the cooperation angle that this game brought to the table was more or less unprecedented.

In L4D, if your team of ragtag survivors doesn’t work together, it’s unlikely that anyone will survive.  I spent a lot of free time in college playing this with my friends spread out over different schools.  I had so, so much fun with it.

Although 2 had more varied game play, which was great, I enjoyed the original more, mostly because the online game play wasn’t as loaded in favor of the zombie team.  Objectively speaking, though, the sequel was the more robust game.

Personal anecdote:  L4D is where I learned about dealing with males online.  With Halo, which I also played at the time, I only enjoyed it enough to play it with people I knew.  I loved L4D so much that I would log in to play even when my friends weren’t available, which meant that I was teamed with random players.

I have a very feminine voice, which apparently means that I am meant to be treated like crap online.  Even though it’s a co-op game, and communication is important, I spent most of my sessions with the headset turned off.

Borderlands

THIS GAME, I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH IT!  The crass humor, the expanse of wastelands, the gun-slinging insanity, the incredible couch co-op!  What’s not to love?

Sadly, the sequel was a downgrade from the original, but the first game was an amazing ride.  I’ve been considering replaying it with Tony with all of the DLC.

Metal Gear

I’ve never played these myself, but I watched my husband play the first three.  They’re so cinematic and goofy and over-the-top and awesome!  I love breaking out my Solid Snake gravel voice, too.  My favorite is... probably 3?  It’s hard to pick between 2 and 3, though... 

Disgaea

Hmm...  How to describe these games...  They’re tactics games, I guess?  And there’s a lot of story, too...  Game play wise, the later installments perfect what the earlier ones started, but you can’t beat the story and characters of the original.  Laharl is still one of my all-time favorite male video game characters.  He’s... such a brat?  I love him???

Honorable mentions in no order (ie, I’m tired of writing descriptions, sorry to the rest of these games):

Halo, Dragon Age, Fallout 3, Ratchet & Clank, Resident Evil, Portal, Soul Calibur, Tetris Attack, Uncharted, Ms. Pacman,  the Batman Arkham games

EDIT:  I forgot Nier: Automata and Super Smash Bros!  FOR SHAME!

[timesorceror]

Year of Review - Writing 2017

Decided to do this thing again, cause last year’s was pretty fun. Alright, let’s go for a ride ladies and germs!

Total number of completed stories:

Fifteen…? Many of them are oneshots or collections of fics written for month/week challenges, but who cares.

Total word count:

*whistles* Wow. 264,023 words. Last year I only had, like, 72,483, though to be fair I didn’t start writing consistently until around June. Still though, that’s a nice chunk of word change right there. 

This also includes the 12k+ word alternate ending to A Promise Kept, and my currently unfinished fic, A Beautiful Experiment.

Fandoms written in:

Dragon Age. It’s still my only fandom headspace, though I repeat I’d love to do a DA crossover with Zelda someday.

Looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?:

Uh… I definitely didn’t expect to write as much as I did, no. Like I expected to write some, but not quite that many words.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?:

Hmm. Excluding my collections for #Januanderstakeback, Anders Week, and Fenhanders Week… I think I gotta give this one to Once Bitten, Twice Bonded. It’s the first chaptered fic I’d done since my fic writing dry spell of about 3 years or so, and man I don’t think I’ve ever agonized so much over a fic before, like ever. I mean, I googled how snake sex worked just to write the darn thing.

…I’m also really impressed with how a lot of people in the Fenders Discord really like it, actually. I think someone even called it a masterpiece or something. Like, wow. I’m actually kind of jazzed about that.

Did you take any writing risks this year?:

The #Januanderstakeback prompts were super hard to keep up with, considering as I was just starting my final semester in college around that time, but I’m actually kind of proud how I was able to keep up with them. Seeing them all in the collection on AO3 is pretty neat, tbh.

Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?:

I always want to finish my Inquisitor’s journal entries, though not as much as before. Other than that, I want to spread the DA Weird Shit chat’s wonderfulness with the world. There can never be too much kink, really. Not where Fenders is concerned. 

Some of the projects on my current spreadsheet are of course that Fenders Nutcracker AU, the Darkest Dungeon AU that @drawsshits and I came up with, more A/B/O stuff, some sequels to My Watchword is “Tranquil” and Keep You Safe. Also I’m gonna finish A Beautiful Experiment, for sure.

Best story of the year?:

It’s not, like, an actual fic, but The Rule I Will Most Cherish Breaking is my favorite collection of stories. But if we’re going with like a straight fic here, Once Bitten, Twice Bonded probably has that spot, hands down. 

Most popular story of the year?:

Looking at AO3, Change for the Better has the most hits, but What’s Lost and Found has nearly twice as many kudos while holding the #1 spot in that category. It’s also been the fic most bookmarked by other people. Once Bitten, Twice Bonded has the most comment threads and currently the highest word count, though A Beautiful Experiment has the most subscriptions.

Overall, however, Once Bitten, Twice Bonded holds at least a top three spot in all categories, also sitting at the #2 spot on most hits and bookmarks, as well as #3 in kudos and subscriptions. 

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

It’s a toss-up between The Absolutely True Story of a Possessed Grey Warden Corpse, or A Precious Gift. Both feature my canon Warden Amell and custom Hawke, so I’m super biased about it, though this category is about my personal opinions anyway after all. :P

Most fun story to write:

There’s two fics in my Fenhanders Week 2017 collection that I had a lot of fun with. One of them was about a Fenkhanders OT4, while the other was about a three way soulmate AU where I got to write about Anders getting loved on and DP’d by his soulmates. (Don’t kinkshame me now, lol. Kinkshaming is unjust.)

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I think Once Bitten, Twice Bonded has this category beat. I mean, interspecies sex plus egg laying and double peneration with a side of accidental bonding makes for a lot of sexy moments.

Most sweet story:

Happy Accidents and A Precious Gift definitely hold spots in the running for this one, but the one that I actually cried several times during the writing of it was A Promise Kept. Something about it was just super emotional, especially after listening to Peter Hollens’ ‘Ashland’s Song’. Seriously, read the ending while listening to it and tell me if that doesn’t just make you want to cry.

“Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story:

Despite being one of my most popular stories this year, I’m probably gonna give this one to Once Bitten, Twice Bonded as well? XD

Just because some people might not be into it once they actually google what snake “penises” look like, lol. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

Probably Reclaiming Freedom (Through Sex and Other Things). It’s an odd one for sure, but writing selfcest tends to make you really think about how a character would react if their past self just suddenly exists in the world and absolutely wants to bone down with their future self and their lover.

Most unintentionally telling story:

I dunno. Guys, you’ve read my stuff, you tell me.

Hardest story to write:

I got stuck on A Promise Kept a lot, though that one was just really long. 

The Absolutely True Story of a Possessed Grey Warden Corpse was difficult too because I wasn’t sure how my Warden would interact with all of the Kirkwall crew (especially Fenris), and Once Bitten, Twice Bonded was SO HARD since not only was I not used to writing Awakening Anders, but I had to write an Awakening Anders who was falling in love with a Fenris who never went to Kirkwall. Sing for Me got me a couple times due to its sheer ridiculousness.

I also had trouble really hurting Anders too much in What’s Lost and Found even though the prompt called for it, and the logistics of mermaid on octopus bits made me pause for the longest time during A Compatible Mate.

Biggest disappointment:

The journal entries are still not done, but that’s, eh. Not as important anymore. Most of my current disappointments have nothing to do with my fics.

Biggest surprise:

Just, like… all of your support and kudos and comments. I’ve really been going out on a limb to test so many wonderful, smutty kinks and you all just keep indulging me. Thanks guys. :D I hope to bring more kinks to the fandom in the coming year.

Alright, tagging time! I set this upon: @pikestaff, @contreparry, @tearsofwinter, @rhube, @greensphynx, @thejourneymaninn, @damnedapostate, @therealmnemo, @dovabunny, and @protect-him.

Go and do the thing! :D

[youmightbeanidiotif]

Destiel also has parallels of other couples, the cast talking about them being together, etc. etc... and, unfortunately, sam and dean are just brothers, and that's all they ever will be. Same with Dean and Cas just being friends. I get shipping it in fanon but like don't say either ship is canon until they kiss or something.

2. And also the whole soulmate thing…?  Dean had to go search for Sam in heaven, they didn’t just end up together.  They are very codependent (duh) because of their life and the way they grew up.  They have done toxic things to each other, (example: their physical fight in season 4 regarding the whole demon blood situation) but yes they are the closest characters in the show.  …..  (this will continue lol) 

3. But honestly, in the end, they aren’t much different from normal siblings (not like what’s happened in their lives but personality and codependency wise), I would die for my little sister, do anything for her, and I love her and trust her unconditionally.  No matter what I’ll always take care of her.  I tell her I love her every day.  Sam and Dean are no different, and I kind of wish people would stop  …. (still continuing (sorry)) 

4. Also I didn’t mean any of that as hate or in a condescending way or anything!!  I just kind of wanted to say my thoughts and put it out there. :) 

——————————————————————–

“Destiel also has parallels of other couples”

They actually don’t. I know the destihellers have produced reams of metas about how they were paralleled to the hunter husbands or the couple in “Don’t Call Me Shurley” for example, but they’re wrong and Castiel wasn’t even in those episodes. Sam and Dean were the parallel to both of those couples, just as Sam is Dean’s Colette (the one he stopped for, whose voice pulled him back).

“the cast talking about them being together”

Unless it’s Jared or Jensen saying it, definitively and not as a joke, it doesn’t matter because, as the stars, they are the only cast members who have any influence over the direction of the show. And what did Jensen say just last weekend? “Destiel doesn’t exist.”

The others were minor players that were pestered until they gave an endorsement of the ship, or were playing along and having fun with a live audience, or were just trying to be encouraging of fans and LGBTQ+ ships. Some didn’t even know who Castiel was and had to have that explained to them.

“don’t say either ship is canon until they kiss or something”

Plenty of ships are canon long before there’s a kiss. It’s all about the intent, the buildup, behind it. Destiel doesn’t have that, except in fan ‘interpretation’ (aka fanon), which doesn’t effect canon. Wincest does have that in a way (platonic), Supernatural is literally “the epic love story of Sam and Dean” (Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble).

canon: the material accepted as officially part of the story in an individual universe/creation/work.

fanon: anything outside of canon, anything a fan wants to imagine within that universe/creation/work. 

And, as I already stated, of course they won’t get together romantically on the show, it’s on the wrong network for that.

“And also the whole soulmate thing…?  Dean had to go search for Sam in heaven, they didn’t just end up together.”

Yes, because Zachariah was manipulating them, and which memories they saw, to try to drive a wedge between them. Remember what Castiel said to Dean after Dean arrives in Heaven?

CASTIEL: For you it’s a road. Follow it, Dean. You’ll find Sam.

And then Dean drove right to the next memory, Sam’s memory of Thanksgiving dinner when he was eleven, but it’s adult Sam sitting at the table and he starts talking to Dean, even though the memory keeps playing without him:

SAM: Dean? What are you doing in my dream?

And Dean didn’t need Ash’s spell to break into Sam’s heaven, he hadn’t even learned it yet, because they share a heaven:

SAM: And you said this was your heaven?ASH: Yup! My own… personal… SAM: And when the angels jumped us? We were…ASH: In your heaven.

ASH: See you got Winchesterland. Ashland. A whole mess of everybody-else-lands. Put them all together: heaven.

DEAN: So everybody gets a little slice of paradise.ASH: Pretty much. A few people share, special cases. What not.DEAN: What do you mean ‘special’?ASH: Aw, you know. Like, uh, soulmates.

ASH: Anyway. Most people can’t leave their own private Idaho’s.DEAN: But you ain’t most people.ASH: Nope. They ain’t got my skills. Hell, I’ve been all over.

It comes up again in 6.01, when Dean sees Sam for the first time after thinking Sam had been dead for a year:

DEAN: So I’m dead? This is Heaven?

Dean sees Sam and assumes he has been killed and is in heaven.

“they aren’t much different from normal siblings”

They are, they really really are. Because when you become an adult, your life becomes about you and your own separate family that you build, that’s natural, that’s normal. But Sam and Dean are incapable of taking that step, of making anyone more important than each other:

LISA: You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I’ve ever seen. 

Dean left Lisa for Sam, Sam left Amelia for Dean, Dean cut ties with Benny for Sam, Dean defied John for Sam, Sam let the yellow eyed demon go for Dean, Dean kicked human Castiel out of the bunker for Sam, and so on and all the rest.

(in re)