#I actually get why people don't like it bc it's very musically distinct from the rest of the albums

[pizzawendell]

Bottom tier Goths will not be tolerated

y'all might flame me for this but....

[kindahoping4forever]

It kinda feels like they were so frustrated about the time in between the first single and CALM being released, that that’s why they’re going about it so differently this time. ~ Rema

With a new label in play and the pandemic having changed how we consume music, it's so hard to guess what the approach is. None of their albums have really been a one to one comparison, they've all been made under such different circumstances, with 5SOS5 and YB being the most similar to me since they're really the only two albums they were able to take their time to create.

CALM is such a complex case it needs to go under a cut lmao

They weren't as open about CALM's process as they had been with previous albums so we never had a distinct timeline of its development beyond the knowledge they started recording in January 2019 and by the time they were doing WDYL promo in March, Ashton was telling people the album was finished while being open about the fact that they were currently unsigned.

Once they signed to Interscope and released Easier in May, they started answering release date questions with vague "we'll see how this single does first" teases, which I always took to imply that if Easier (or later, Teeth) had been a smash hit the way YB was, whatever incarnation of the album that was ready at that point would've been released off the strength of the single. (Whether or not that would've been the same CALM that was ultimately released in 2020 or a different incarnation, we really don't know!)

And I know it's an unpopular opinion but I think this move was a smart strategy, though it's hard to see it that way since we know how things ended up. At that point they were not only trying to build a brand but they needed to get their single success to translate to album success, which is a tough thing to do in a case like theirs, when the songs are more known than the artist.

Early on they mentioned wanting to release multiple songs before the album but the output deadzone between Teeth's August 2019 release and No Shame's February 2020 release has always led me to believe that either contractually or logistically, the WWJ tour interfered with the plan and that's how we ended up with the crush of No Shame/Old Me/CALM all being released within 6 weeks of each other. (Wildflower was in there too but I think that got fast-tracked bc the beginnings of the pandemic was obviously pulling focus from even the most dedicated fans' minds.)

Like I mentioned, 5SOS5 is very reminiscent of YB both in the length of time it's taken to make it and the apparent trial and error process (it's been said they went thru multiple sounds before landing where they did and some of the songs on the album -WWYLM and WIJ- are actually from that earlier incarnation) but what sets this new album apart is how many evolutions it's appeared to go thru. (I hope they speak to this as the release approaches!) With CALM over three years old to them at this point, I can't imagine how ready they must be to focus on new material and I imagine if 2021 had gone a bit differently (going thru 2 management teams and having to find another new label) they could've rallied and released something last year.

Looking to YB for comparison, even with the measured approach to the album, the final stage was a whirlwind, with them releasing WYB in late February but still in the mixing process in March, amidst single promo and rehearsals/departure for the 5SOS3 tour (only for the album to not release until June). And while I do still think the idea of touring both CALM and 5SOS5 together makes the most sense (notice the shift in messaging from 'No Shame Tour' to '2022 Tour'), I'm not sure how realistic it is to expect them to promote a single, an album and rehearse for a tour in just over 2 months. YB shows it can be done, but would they want to? Or do they hold it until they can devote their full attention to promo? Which... wouldn't be until late summer, between tour legs 🤔👀

@whentherosesbl00m

[thenighttrain]

hi Leanne! Happy (belated) November and I'm very excited about Red TV + the ATW short film that will both come out next Friday 💖

It's been a pretty hectic few weeks (hence the delayed message). Anyways, I read into that Moon-Saturn aspect that you've linked from last month and I strongly relate to the post as well!

I think strong Capricorn / Aquarius influence could also track with the tendency of emotionally repressing themselves (and not wanting to cause emotional burdens): that's bc both signs are traditionally ruled by Saturn which represent restriction & regularisation.

I also noticed a few more astrology patterns over the last few weeks. I love Classical Music so I was looking into multiple Classical Composers' natal charts to see how that influence their writing style.

e.g. there's a composer who's a Capricorn moon (in 11th house) & has chart ruler in Capricorn (also in the 11th house). He's an Aqua Rising btw. These make so much sense after I listened to some recordings of his most well known work:

- The Capricorn influence (moon + chart ruler) explains why he tend to repress emotions and throw himself into writing music when he's under pressure.

- The Aqua Rising also makes sense that he has a pretty individualistic streak. Like a pretty distinctive style that makes his music stand out.

So I have noticed that:

1) Strong Capricorn / 10th house / Fixed influence tend to correlate with productivity & focusing a lot on work

2) I'm quite surprised about this one. I'd expect Air Risings to track with extroversion but I came across several Gemini / Aqua Risings who are pretty introverted.

So I think the strong Uranus / Aquarius influence (+ specific planets in the 1st / 3rd House) could explain the introversion.

On the contrary, which planetary / zodiac sign influences do you think correlates with being more sociable / extroverted?

P.S. ahh yeah, I'm glad I'm not the only person having the same concern about Malice (since GR reviews of the book are overwhelmingly positive).

I must admit that I didn't have the best reading month in October, but on the bright side I'm very excited about Our Violent Ends and Jade Legacy - both coming out this month! I'm also excited to do some autumn / winter seasonal readings, now I have a few weeks of breathers. What about you?

hi jen, happy november! me too omg i can't believe red tv is out in less than a week, i'm soooooo sooo excited. it's been hectic for me too ugh, i hope you've been doing well<3

oh yeah i totally agree re cap/aqua - i think air/earth signs in general tend to repress their emotions, but probably those two in particular. that composer's chart sounds like it makes a lot of sense!! i agree with your observations, i think aqua is actually fairly introverted (among the air signs anyway), i feel like most aqua-heavy people i know are introverts (including my brother)?

in terms of what suggests being extroverted/sociable - i would guess, particularly in relation to personal planets: heavy 3rd/5th/7th/11th houses, strong fire energy, strong air, a strong southern hemisphere... maybe!

i'm also excited to read jade legacy and our violent ends, and also the bone shard emperor. i hope they don't disappoint! i'm in the middle of my exams and then i'm working until christmas so sadly i have less time to read, but i'll make sure i get to 130 books this year 😚 i hope you find something good to read

[rot8erconex]

[ID: photo of tags that read "can someone explain or link me to an explanation of what's happened, bc I keep seeing posts talking ABOUT it without ever actually know what it is." /end ID]

@tsunderrated and anyone else who wants it. Summary under read more. CW for corporate bullying, self-harm, and just all around absurdity. TL;DR is that company would rather character assassinate someone who was bullied into almost taking their own life, and who would prefer to just let this be now that she is no longer affiliated with them, than admit that their management is poor, and their handling of the situation is so bad that their stock has dropped a whole 10%.

Selen Tatsuki was the, to my understanding, highest-earning EN VTuber working for Nijisanji. However, they would not fund her projects, leading to her having to pay for them out of pocket.

On Christmas last year, she uploaded a music video that she had been alluding to to her fans for months, had cost her $15,000, and had been animated specifically by some fans. She had permission from the singer of the original song to do this.

Less than 24 hours after the music video went up, it was deleted. An apology tweet was posted, in which she stated that management privated the video and she didn't know why.

Two days later, another tweet was posted in which it was stated in first person that she was in the hospital after "an accident", and that she would keep them updated. Four days after that, a third tweet, in which it was stated, again in third person, that she was out of the hospital, was staying with her parents, and looked forward to future projects in the new year.

And then....a month of radio silence. No posts to Twitter, no new videos, and even other VTubers who worked with her wouldn't even mention her name. Her IRL friends had no idea what was going on, her fans had no idea what was going on, no one was divulging any information.

Her fans were, understandably, concerned, so they started a #WhereIsSelen hashtag on Twitter. Nijisanji did not respond.

A couple days later, they posted something to Twitter: a termination notice for Selen Tatsuki, in which they said that she claimed she was being bullied internally. Which set the fans speculating as to which other talents would have been the ones to bully her.

But another thing you might have noticed me say a few paragraphs ago was that a few of her tweets had "stated in first person" a few things, not that they were "stated by her". Because another thing that they mentioned in the termination notice that they had taken away Selen's access to her accounts on the 26th, indirectly admitting that they were impersonating her in, at the very least, the tweets informing fans that she was in, and later out of, the hospital.

The best part? The fans knew as much from the get-go, thanks to something the fans like to call the "Japanese apostrophe". Apparently, Japanese keyboards (’) and English keyboards (') use a different character for the apostrophe, and a lot of Japanese managers don't know this - or think that it's not an important distinction.

Selen herself learned of the termination at the same time everyone else did. And her response was to revive the VTuber that she was prior to Nijisanji - one DokiBird.

Niji ended up forgetting to remove Selen's mods' permissions, so the mods used their powers to schedule a stream on Selen's channel (a stream that wasn't intended to actually air, it was just to get people's attention), and then spammed a link to DokiBird in the chat when people asked "wasn't she terminated?"

Doki had a normal (re)debut stream, basically letting fans know that she was okay, she was indeed bullied but she would not name names. She had found a new manager, who told her she would no longer have to pay for sponsorships out of her own pocket. The reason that she went to the hospital was because she made an attempt on her own life, but now she was in a much better headspace. And all she wanted was to return to normal.

At some point, Nijisanji made a statement to investors that termination of Selen would not affect the company's stocks. Less than a day after that statement was made, the stocks dropped by 10% because of how bad the backlash from the handling of this situation was. The CEO of the company made a video apologizing to investors for being wrong about how this would affect stocks, and that video is largely being seen as the only thing that the company has done right in this entire situation, even if many would prefer that said apology would be directed at Selen/Doki.

Only a few days ago at the time of this summary, three of the remaining EN VTubers from Niji made a video which can only be described as a failed attempt at a character assassination of Selen, in which they claimed to read documents that she had given her legal team about the situation. This was immediately noticed by many fans as illegal as all hell in both Canada (where Selen/Doki lived and worked) and in Japan (where Nijisanji is headquartered) because the documents in question were supposed to remain between only the two legal teams. The three VTubers in question claimed that they were shown the document because they were "relevant to the case" or something along those lines, which has lead many to believe that these three were the ones specifically who bullied Selen.

This video was scheduled to release during a stream in which Doki planned to play Neopets, a game that she had wanted to play for the longest time but that Nijisanji had not let her play (due to Japanese lack of fair use laws). Many fans suspect this timing was intentional to get Doki's reaction live and to produce a freakout that they could then use to prove their side of the story. This plan did not work, Doki ended her stream early to discuss strategy with her lawyer.

And then just today, Doki made what she claims will be (and likely hopes will be) her last public statement on this situation. Again, she would not name names, but she did believe that Nijisanji's actions had gotten some people who were innocent caught in the crossfire. In the documents that she had given to her legal team, she had not included any address but her own (this makes people believe that Niji added the other VTubers' addresses to her document to scare them into thinking she was going to doxx them.)

Also just today, people found a still-active job posting for Nijisanji management of EN talents, in which it was discovered that they: - preferred late-university-level students to any actual experienced managers - required very fluent Japanese, but only conversational-level English, despite the managers in question being for English talents and would communicate to the English-speaking publc. - would be at Nijisanji headquarters, rather than in the same countries as the talents they would be managing.

And that's as much as I personally know at the moment. Many people expect that when this all blows over, Nijisanji will basically kill off their entire EN branch due to how bad the controversy is.

Apparently the Nijisanji situation is so bad, it's being used in REAL TIME as part of law school lessons and mock trials. Actual lawyers are pointing out that this violated several Canadian, Japanese, and possibly more countries's privacy and disclosure laws as well.

Like holy fuck. They have fucked up big time.

There's entire threads on Twitter and 4chan where lawyers are going over the specific violations Doki's lawyers could have a field day with, using Niji/Elira/Vox/Ike's "our side" video as very easy evidence to site some violation or another.

And for the third time, I'm not really into Niji and keep getting into talents right before or after they announce graduation or are reborn elsewhere, strange habit, but 1. I hate companies mistreating their employees, 2. I hate bullying, 3. This is now, honestly and truthfully, one of those literal garbage fires you can't ignore once you gaze at it. Every day so far the hole Niji keeps digging gets dug deeper and deeper-

We're watching a corporation collapse in real time and pay severely for the mistreatment of its employees. Honestly I'm invested and need to see how this shit ends. This has ramifications for the vtubing sphere and even sets precedents for how similar cases like this will be handled in the future.

Doki, I hope you can live a happy life, because I respect the shit out of you, and I hope you get a lot of money out of this that you can do wonderful things with. Thank you for surviving and being alive

[mukhannath]

Ok i really love your voice. I've heard you mention you don't like it tho? If you dont mind me asking, why so? (Its very androgynous btw, to me it reads as slightly more fem than masc although it could be either... might be your American accent) also im curious, do you have a more specific knowledge of your gender than just nb and if so are you ok sharing it? you don't have to answer either that question or the one about your voice if you dont wanna im just a nosy bitch

time to spill the beans yeah i have a lot of voice issues and i think its gotten better  lately since i guess ppl have started being affirming of shit etc i mean i always kind of assumed my voice sounded way too masc bcuz i cant hear what i say the same way someone else can. fuck this post its so long so its going under a readmore 

anyway when i started voice chatting in my discord server with all the nbs (mostly amab) everyonw was like oh im so jealous of ur voice u sound like a gril how long have you voice trained and im like, fuckin cool my guy, i havent voice trained at all this makes me feel less bad about my voice i guess like since its maybe the only androgynous thing about me… but the issue there now is i feel like i cant talk about voice dysphoria in there without coming off as a jackass humblebrag idk maybe i shoudl just own it and become super smug 

but the reality is dysphoria isnt logical for one thing and my voice is way less versetile than most voices like,  i do music stuff and I definitely wish my voice could go higher bc im well just in tenor range. its also like, while my pitch naturally falls there i still definitely have the Gone Thru  Testosterone PUberty voice since my voice actually dropped when i was super young, like, 11, i guess, whch makes me mad, like there was never any hope for me in that regard or physical regards either. 

the good/bad thing is that while that upper range is gone forever my lower range never dropped super low. I think this is good for gender reasons and to help me avoid being percieved as an Adult Man. its not good for singing reasons though, as i have pretty much 1 octave of usable chest range which is pathetically below average. Whats also not good is that my friends are like ‘how do people NOT think youre queer if you sound like that” which is extremely paranoia inducing because im currently trying my dardnest to distract my parents from my queerness haha. so yeah whenever i go to visit them i find myself tryitng to force my voice lower and then throat hurt. i also circumstantially get annoyed when i like, call the doctors office and they dont believe i am the person under my legal and very male name, which has been very inconvenient!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

anyway it all boils down to both a dysphoria with what i percieve as male qualities in my voice and to the fact that im not a woman either and i have no idea what tthat implies for what I want to sound like except that I wish I had more control over how people perceive me aurally in many diffrent situations. but yeah uh my gender is i currently dont identify as any gender which sounds like agender but its actually distinct in my mind (not that it matters) and if i need to i will fall in the category of nonbinary and less frequently transfem (though i dont actively identify as transfem my experience is pretty much the same, aligning myself with genders freaks me out and makes me dysphoric so i dont prefer to do that) 

that and i find my voice annoying to listen to , it may “pass” but i still have a very sorta mucusy voice idk how to say it…… and also like,       sometimes i slip into a really southern accent  which is bad especially when im drunk     thats what happens its really subtle like instead of fire you say far and  oil is awl and i hate that i do this 

[savrenim]

Hey! Not sure if you answered this before, but what was your academic journey to grad school? Like in highschool did you take AP? Act/Sat? Did you need like A grades to get into college/uni? How's your undergrad years! What was your undergrad? If it's too personal/time consuming then you don't need to answer 🌸 but it would be really appreciated if you do! Good luck with all your studies! PS. I find kinship in the random anons on your blog. IDK why, but I guess it's like being in an egg carton.

No it’s fine, mostly my….academic journey is an outlier? like, it is by far above and beyond the things you need to succeed and get into grad school, and I have a lot of friends who didn’t have any sort of GPA or history like mine who are doing really well in grad school and have gotten into really good places.

I was a straight A student in grammar school and middle school; by the time I was in 8th grade, we got % grades instead of A, B, C, and I had a 99.875% but only because the 99 in math came from the fact that the teacher believed only Jesus was perfect so he didn’t give 100’s. My real percentage in math I believe was close to a 105, because I’d done a lot of extra credit.

I went to a private high school as well, pretty much entirely on scholarship, because my parents were paranoid about quality of education where I lived and I could. I tested out of Geometry despite the fact that I hadn’t taken it by bugging said 8th grade math teacher to give me a 2-month crash course, and then taking the Geometry Honors final from the prior year and getting….I think an 87? either way, it was enough to get me out of the course. I took AP classes the moment that I was allowed to; over my high school career, I took AP US History, AP European History, AP English Literature, AP English Language, and AP Calculus BC. I got 5’s on all of them. I also took the ACT and got 35/36 (and similar scores on all the subject tests…I think 1 34, counterbalanced by a 36?), although the ACT never really mattered to places I was applying. I was the closest thing our (non-competitive) fencing team had to a captain. I was in choir, and sometimes took on solo performances. I played fairly substantial roles in the musical every year. I also wrote a full draft of a novel that…I’ve still got, actually, and am trying to turn into an actual novel. I got straight A’s; I think my weighted GPA at the end of my high school career was a 4.63? 4.0 unweighted.

I’m also a high school dropout. Technically. But that was because I applied to college a year early, got in, got full scholarship, and the college said that they didn’t need a high school diploma or GED from me, so I went “peace” and then left home to go to college.

there was family drama going down at the same time and this was more a move to escape a hella abusive environment than me actually caring about going to college early, although also at the time I’d taken all of the math and physics classes my school had to offer, and didn’t want to spent senior year bored.

My first two years of college were fairly difficult for me because I was not aware of the fact that I was bipolar and started having more and more severe manic and depressive episodes, culminating in being hospitalized a week during spring semester of my sophomore year. You would not be able to tell any of this from my transcripts; while I was no longer getting straight A’s, it had gone down to an A- a semester, and I think a single B somewhere in there; my overall cumulative GPA was a 3.85. Still, I wasn’t particularly happy where I was at because it was small, in the middle of nowhere, and I’d just been through hell and wanted to start fresh, so I took my AA with highest distinction and applied to a whole bunch of transfer schools. I decided to go to the single one that gave me enough financial aid for that to be feasible.

(I am not going to say what my undergrad was, because I don’t like to post any sort of information on the internet that is specific enough for people to track me down. It was a very nice liberal artsy place.)

I stayed there for three years, as a combination of I wanted time to recover, I knew that I wanted to get into a hardcore serious graduate school and thus wanted professors to know me a lot better so that they could write letters of recommendation, and I wanted to properly joint-major in math and physics and needed the time to fit all of the classes in my schedule so that it would be slightly less hellish. Like, there was a semester where I was taking Real Analysis, Complex Analysis, Classical Mechanics, and Modern Physics — with a lab — and acting as a course tutor/ta for Dynamical Systems all at the same time. I wasn’t really “taking it easy.” But eh, whatever. I got straight A’s in every single math class I took, and I think….one B in physics, and a couple of A-’s sprinkled in sometimes, but otherwise straight A’s. I did research during the summers, published three papers in both math and physics, and presented at two conferences. And thus got into a couple pretty good grad schools and some nice fellowship offers and actually got to make a choice and I could not be happier with the place that I ended up.

Which, like, absolutely everything about my life story is so much overkill, please do not try to be like me, not only is it not necessary but it literally nearly killed me sometime in the middle there.