#I Want You Series

[gayerthanevertbh]

tall child | i want you pt. 6

natasha romanoff masterlist | series masterlist | navigation

pairings: older!natasha romanoff x young!fem reader

summary: your father doesn’t know it yet, but you’re in love with his best friend. and what makes it better is that you’re sure enough that she feels the same way. the sad part is, neither of you can word out your love for each other properly.

warnings: slight argument, heavily detailed smut, g!p natasha, dom!natasha & sub!reader, dirty talking, pet names, slight fluff, and angst - MINORS DNI.

notes: what you ask, you shall receive! also listen to “i want you” at the end of the chapter, trust me it’s worth it lol x 

I had anticipated the party at Felicia's house before I arrived. Only a few people were present; by "few people" I meant at least 20 people gathered around the house. Most of them were outside, swimming by the pool. The others were by the kitchen, where a single man serving them drinks appeared to be my dad's age. While watching MJ try her best to flirt with Felicia, who showed no interest, I was in the pool area with my feet in the water. Why would you go after someone who has no interest in you? I don’t understand the concept of that. You’re just wasting your time, leave before you get hurt.

I wasn’t an experience alcoholic drinker, I barely even drank half of the beverages that were served in the kitchen. Maybe it's because my tolerance for alcohol isn’t so great – I remember myself getting drunk for the first time and being woken up by my father laughing fondly at me. Oh, Y/n, he would say with a sigh. You’ve always been such a little girl. And maybe I was; which made me feel a little uncomfortable being here.

Yet I still drank half of the vodka that was in my glass.

I considered calling Natasha and asking her to drive me home, but she mentioned that she was going to play poker at an underrated bar in town. I was intrigued at first. Why would you play poker this late in the evening? Are you seeing someone else? Is some girl touching your crotch now since I'm not good at it? To be fair, though, I was also outside, and if I had those thoughts, I'd come off as hypocritical. I wonder what she thinks of me and what her thoughts may be when it comes to me. Did she like the way we kissed? How our hands touch under the dining table with my father around? I could still taste the saliva from her mouth, and it was sweet like a grape. Having these naughty thoughts tingles down my spine, it wouldn’t be the best idea to do it here out and open.

“Y/n.”

As I slowly turned around, I saw Bucky standing there with his yellow shirt open to reveal his bare chest. Before taking a sip, I grinned at him a little, hoping he wouldn't notice how I was cringing at the taste.

When I did not respond to him, he sat down next to me and removed one stick of tobacco from his shirt's small pocket. He gave me another look in the hopes that I would return at least one, but I did not. He sighed.

“How are you?”

I shrugged. “Doing okay I guess,” I finished my glass and felt myself wincing. I shouldn’t even be drinking this kind of alcohol, it makes me feel sick. “How about you?”

“Doing great now since you’re talking to me.”

“Are we supposed to be on speaking terms?”

“Y/n–”

“I know what you did the other day,” I told him, showing him that I’m not into small talk. He pursed his lips together and hung his head low. “You tried ruining us both, I thought you were my best friend?”

“My feelings for you don’t go away for a day,” he explained. “You expect me to be fine when she looks at you the way I look at you? No, of course not. You picked someone so old when you could have me to spend the rest of your life with. I think she’s using you only for pleasure, Y/n.”

“How do you even know that?” I couldn’t help but scoff under my breath, turning away from his face as I could see an agonizing pain from him – which I cannot endure. But when he said that Natasha might be using me, somehow that made me think. What if she was? What if I’m just some girl that she’ll take advantage of, and that I’m nothing special? That stung my heart, and I could feel my knees weaken from his statement.

Are you using me?

“You don’t think I hear you having sex with her in your room?” Bucky scoots closer to me, his lips trembling with anger or despair. “You don’t think that I haven’t seen her touching you by the waist? Or sometimes by your fucking ass? She’s using you!”

“Keep your voice down–”

“I would never use you like that,” he sighs, pinching his nose bridge. “I would never touch you the way she touches you, I don’t even think you like the way she does it.”

“But that’s none of your business!” I hissed at him, as I furrowed my eyebrows. Our conversation was getting intense, and I had this feeling to walk out. But I couldn’t. We both looked at our surroundings, and no one suspected us of having a short argument. Perhaps we weren’t so loud after all, since no one batted an eye. I kept our distance again and whispered to him, “I love her, and she loves me. She wouldn’t do something like that, I know her better than you do.”

He shrugged his shoulders and lit his cigarette before throwing it across the bushes. "Maybe you know her, but something in her eyes that screams evil," he continued. He made a poor choice by saying that. "Y/n, I love you. I doubt I'll ever love anyone else the way I love you. I will respect whatever relationship you have with her since I am still your best friend. Just... don't harm yourself. When it comes to her, be cautious.”

I wanted to stand up for her and convince him that Natasha wasn't like that. Whether or not we had sexual relations, she loved me unconditionally. She showed me numerous displays of affection that didn't require her to physically touch me, and they led to me falling in love with her. She is not at all what he has described her to be.

A moment of unbearable silence abrupt us both.

I added softly, entirely off-subject, "My mother has never reconciled with my father ever since they had a divorce,” I didn't need those sad expressions he gave me as he stared into my eyes. "And I've loathed my mother ever since. She was nothing but emotionally abusive towards me and doesn't have anything pleasant to say when it comes to my being. Natasha has been looking after me more than my mother has since I've been here. She cares about me and is always there. And when I needed her, where was she? Gone. She was there for me physically, but not emotionally. Simply put, Buck. But Natasha? She spares me the kind of suffering I've experienced."

Nothing else was said by him after that. Instead, he gave me a quick nod before getting up and heading off. I didn't chase him down or even shout his name. I simply sat there with my mouth open, thinking that if I had ever loved this boy, I never would have fallen in love with Natasha. Yet no matter how little of the world Natasha and I were a part of, I know I'll come back to her. There was nothing I could say to change the fact that we were both intended to be together.

I soon found myself back at Felicia's home. Bucky didn't bother to offer to drive me home, so MJ said she would. I offered to walk home, but she refused and grabbed her keys by the handle before leaving with me. While we were in the car, I thought heavily about what happened with Bucky a while ago. Although the drive was quiet, it wasn't uncomfortable. I listened to the music she liked on the radio and took in the nighttime sky as I imagined Natasha. For all of us, this summer was perfect. Maisy, our second maid, was chopping off leaves from our garden as my father was reading an ancient book that came from my grandfather. Natasha, meanwhile, simply sits next to him while sporting a nice expression and smoking a cigarette almost as an aesthetic. The people that were a part of my life this summer, whom I utterly cherish, are what I have enjoyed the most.

Especially that woman, that sane woman.

“Is he okay?” she asked, breaking our silence. “And you don’t seem drunk.”

“I could say the same with you.” I chuckled in response, causing her to laugh quietly as well.

“You and him have been always fighting, I don’t get it,” she said while turning her steering wheel. “Like, what are you two fighting about? Just tell me you’re gay, Y/n. Maybe then he’ll leave you alone.”

Despite being a closeted bisexual, MJ made me feel protected. Perhaps I should have told her that I could fall deeply in love with a woman, but it didn't feel appropriate to say it now, especially since we were both drunk. Yet my mouth spoke differently.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll tell him that.”

She smiled, shaking my left shoulder gently.

“I’m sure he won’t mind.”

If she only knew that I was in love with a 38-year-old woman, then she would react in a different way.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “I know he won’t.” that was the biggest lie that I’ve ever said.

I entered my room, tossed my tote bag on the floor, and flopped onto my bed to smell the fresh sheets Maisy had just changed. Tomorrow might be a better day for me, maybe my father would make something nice for breakfast, or fish at the sea with Natasha and the rest of them since that's something that we enjoyed doing. MJ might invite me over to do something fun, I don't know. My mind was clouded with exhaustion.

As I began to breathe slowly, I heard the door being closed. Too tired to turn, I whispered: “Who is it?”

“Hi, detka,” the woman that I’d been thinking about not nearly 15 minutes ago was in my room, and it made my night entirely better because she was here. I turned my head slowly and smiled at her before she got into bed with me and gave me a small kiss on the head. “I’ve missed you today.”

“Missed you too, Tasha.” I sat up with a groggy look and hugged her tight, smelling her scent. Did she drink tonight? I thought to myself. Before I could even ask, Natasha lifts up my chin and looks down at me with the most sultry eyes I’ve ever seen. “Tasha? Are you okay?”

She sighs under her breath and pushes me back down onto the bed gently, kissing my mouth with hunger as she does so. “Yeah,” she murmured while fondling my breasts over my shirt. “I just… I need you tonight.”

“What’s going on? Did something happen tonight?”

She simply shakes her head as she keeps her tongue slithering inside of my mouth. Our kiss was so intensely needy and desperate that I could hardly even comprehend it. I gently pushed away from her chest as I worriedly eyed her, but when she looked at me with those hooded eyes, I knew she wanted to fuck me right then.

“Tash, are you sure about this? You look–”

She pleaded with me imploringly, "Please," tucking her hand into my shirt and squeezing my left breast. I whimpered in return. “I'm begging you to let me make love to you tonight… please.”

How was I going to refuse her? Of course, I also desired to have sex with her. I cupped both of her cheeks and nodded, kissing her briefly before her hands assaulted my naked breasts again. As she continues to kiss my neck with her tongue flat against my skin, I notice that her eyes are closed. I shivered, not because I didn't want the kiss, but rather because the intensity of the experience made me want her to take me right there. But as soon as she lowered her sweatpants and bounced her cock in the air, my needs were satisfied.

“You want me, baby?” her voice was huskier this time, and I could feel myself getting wet from it. She swiftly removes my shorts, along with my underwear, and spreads my wet folds apart. “You want me to fuck you now? Oh, I’ve been wanting to be inside you for days…”

We didn’t have sex for the past week since everyone was at our house. But since my father was asleep and it was just the two of us, she immediately took this opportunity to fuck me in my bed – alone in the dark of my cold room. As my eyes were shut tight, I felt her hand gripping my jaw gently – asking silently to open them again.

“Look at me when I fuck you,” she demands, but not to the point that her voice is scary. I nodded in reply, my breath trembling as she slowly pumps her dick. “You know that I love you, right?”

“O-Of course,” I replied, biting my lower lip as she dragged the tip of her cock through my folds in an up-and-down motion, teasing me with that sinister grin. “Oh, god–Natasha–”

“Shh,” her thumb presses against my lips as she spits on her other hand, spreading it along with her penis while her eyes were looking down at me. My god, I think I’ve never seen this version of her before. “It’s okay, ‘m here. Daddy won’t hurt you, I just need to be inside of you right now…”

Before I could even utter a word, she slowly slipped her cock inside of me as we both groaned about how good it felt to experience this kind of sex once more. She moans into my neck, whispering: “Fuck, you’re still so tight. I could barely move inside of you, oh god…”

“Tasha,” I murmured into her ear as my nails scratched her back, her shirt still on. “You’re so big!”

“Shhh,” her lips met with mine once more as she pulled out slowly, then thrusting back in with much force this time. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me. Never notice how wet you are for me, you wanted this too… don’t you?”

I nodded, whispering with a moan, “Yes! Yes, you feel so good inside of me–Oh god, go faster!”

We could only hear my bed squeaking and quietly banging against the wall as she rocked her hips against my skin. Since we typically make a lot of noise when having sex, I was surprised by how quiet we were this time. I held her tight in my arms as she thrust into me at a faster pace, her thrusting was more different. It felt like she was in a hurry, or that she needed to release that quickly. So I lifted up her head and asked, “Take it slow, Tash. We have the time in the world.”

“Can’t,” she replied back with a whimper. “I just–Fuck, just need you right now sweet girl.”

She clung to me while repeatedly pulling her cock out of me as she observed the connection between our sexes. Natasha had a thing for watching us fucked, it was as if it was her favorite thing in the world – and I could be right. The room started to fill with the sound of our skin, and the moisture started to warm up. Once more, our lips met, and I felt her tongue brush up against mine. My body began to feel like it was heating up like a kettle. Natasha pushed thrust after thrust into me, as if I were a balloon about to burst.

Her hands were now on my hips, forcefully gripping my skin, and huffed each time her cock was hitting my spot. I felt overwhelmed by this feeling, and there was nothing I could do but hold her close and let it all happen.

“I love you,” she whimpered with a deeper voice, snapping her hips back and forth against my mind as I felt her entire length inside of me, making me whine in desperation. “I love you so much, detka. I don’t want a-anything else but you, o-only you…”

Each time she thrusts into me hard, I could hear the squelching sound coming from our joined sexes. Her gaze on me was heavy, as if she was hungry for more and I couldn’t help but give her the same look, since I felt the same way that she did. A low hum escaped from her mouth when I clenched around her dick, her hips stuttering for a bit.

“I love you too,” I whispered breathlessly. “I’ll always love you.”

Natasha's eyes were closed and she thrusts into me at a much faster pace, her hips rising. As she pursued her orgasm, she grabbed the sheet next to my head, her groans growing louder and faster. “Just like that,” she cried. “Keep taking it for me, j-just like that… Oh god!”

The bed was starting to creak loudly, and I patted her upper arm to keep ourselves quiet. She sees my hand and decides to give me a strong kiss instead, though it was sloppier than usual. “This pussy belongs to me,” Natasha panted on my lips. “All mine, okay? Not Bucky’s, mine.”

“Yours!” I moaned quietly, biting my lip hard that I could feel the coil taste on my tongue. “J-Just yours, Oh god–please!”

She stutters her hips and says, "I'm here," as she buries her head in my neck and forces her cock firmly back inside of me – her balls tighten with orgasm. “Fuck, I’m here. Just stay like that, yeah…”

I came around her cock, crying out with my eyes closed tightly. She touches my cheek with her hand and kisses the corner of my mouth, flopping herself on top of me. Our chest heaved while she lazily thrusts her cock inside of me, eventually pulling out with a sloshing sound. I looked down and saw her dick twitching, and I smiled fondly at it.

Natasha hugged me that night and slept next to me after our passionate encounter. She still had her head buried in my neck, and her leg was wrapped around my waist. Looking up at the ceiling, I held her in my arms and realized that everything we did was driven by an insatiable need for one another. I noticed her mouth was slightly gaping when I looked to my side. It made me want to reach out and touch it. She wasn't a restless sleeper, so I refrained from doing so.

“I love you,” I whispered to her slumbered self, smiling blissfully. “I love you, and I’m sure that I’m all yours until the end.”

The house was once again crowded, and this time I was irritated. My father kept inviting his colleagues, and as much as I wanted him to be happy, I also felt lonely with him because I haven't spent enough time with him since Natasha entered the scene. As I strolled down our house's hallway, I noticed Maisy making Natasha's bed. This made me concerned; it was as if she had departed without saying goodbye. "Where's Natasha?" I said as I walked past her room.

“Went out for a walk,” Maisy replied tossing her dirty sheets into the basket. “She was trying to find you a while ago, but you were still asleep.”

I let out a huff. “Oh,” I sat on the foot of her bed and placed my hand against the mattress. “When will she come back?”

“She mentioned around late noon, since she looked like she was in a rush,” she rubs the sweat off her forehead, and I decided to help her with the laundry basket – but she refused me to do so. I still don’t understand why she treats me like a kid still. “No, don’t do that! Your father will be angry if he sees you helping me.”

“But you’ve been with us ever since I was a baby.”

“And you'll always be a baby in my eyes," Maisy laughed, leaving me alone in the room. I stood up and quietly shut the door, hearing it click. I was finally alone in her room, with no one to bother me. I clung to myself on her naked mattress, desperate for her to return and kiss me again. Our sex a few weeks ago wasn't enough for me; I needed more of her like a hungry little bitch. But instead, I was all alone – just like any other summer back at home.

A few moments passed, and I suddenly felt nauseous. So I went to the kitchen to grab myself a tab of paracetamol and drank it with water, then went back to my room and rested. But by the end of the day, I still felt even more sick than usual. I was surprised that I still had more energy in me as I walked to Natasha’s door and knocked. And when she opened it, she gave me a huge smile on her face.

“Hey,” she greeted, brushing her short hair away from her forehead. “Maisy told me that you were feeling sick all day, are you alright?”

“I don’t know,” I murmured, holding my stomach together with my arms. “Just feel like I want to vomit.”

“Sweetheart, do you want me to call your dad?” she worriedly placed her hands on my shoulder as she took me back to my room, and I shook my head in reply. “Are you on your period right now?”

“I think so,” even though I haven’t checked my underwear today, I have a feeling that my period has started. “It’s okay, Tash. I can take care of myself from here.”

She merely lets out a small sigh before gently kissing my forehead and enfolding me in a cozy hug. She whispered "I love you." into my ear like a baby in a swaddle. It was pleasant to hear her utter those three little sentences once more. She looks down at me while stroking the back of my hair while having those brilliant green eyes. "Are you certain you'll look after yourself? I have to spend tonight with your father because of work and other stuff."

“I’ll be okay, I promise.”

That evening, she left with my father, leaving me once more by myself in my bedroom. After I realized there wasn't any blood on my underwear, I made the decision to use the restroom and urinate. Strange, I observed. I was supposed to have my period this morning.

I then remembered my experience with Natasha from a few weeks earlier, and I realized I had sex with her without using any form of contraception. I gazed in the mirror, terrified, but decided to remain cool because I didn't want to jump to any conclusions. Fortunately, there was a pregnancy test in the drawers since my father had added them in case of emergency and took the test.

Nine minutes later, I checked the test and it was revealed positive.

Positive.

My eyes widened, and I suddenly felt more sick than ever. I was pregnant, with Natasha’s baby.

With her baby, I’m having a child with her.

I sat on the floor, the test clenched on my fingers, my mind racing with plans to tell her about it. Would she be upset with me because I was careless? Will she accept that I won't be able to have this baby right now? I wailed quietly into the corner, feeling my world darken with horror.

how’s everything doing?

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[millificent]

Every Nico Di Angelo fan focusing more on the background of the episode than the actual plot

[lyenka645]

amok time

[stevenrogered]

Sam Reid: I ate so many of those photos. They were made of rice paper, so they stuck to the roof of my mouth. There were a few where I just shoved the whole photo into my mouth, but that didn’t work, so I had to eat it. It was like eating a sweet cake. They were stuck to the roof of my mouth and I couldn’t keep talking.

They’re saying mean things about Louis’ photos, so he’s going, “Fuck you! You took a beautiful photograph. Don’t listen to that guy. I’ll eat it.”

Jacob Anderson: I loved it so much.

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[pokimoko]

Ace Week is upon us again, which means it's time for me to share some more silly little critters with you all! (If you like, you can also say hello to their friends from 2021, 2022 and 2023.) ✨Go and be as amazing as always, aces✨

[tariah23]

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

[mellozheist]

The Red means I love you // Tragedy of 3rd life Animation

Watch The animation on Youtube >:D

@inthelittlewood 

[snekky-arts]

so the bright side of not being able to sleep is that you occasionally get something done in one sitting in a reasonable amount of time

aka: i didn't plan this, i don't know what this is, take it or leave it, i kinda like it

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanny mixed up FNAF Help wanted with Digital circus,,

[iheartfurrympreg]

The Harbinger Of Death

watch out gem and joel

close ups under cut and analysis in tags ->

[gayerthanevertbh]

blissfulness | i want you pt. 5

natasha romanoff masterlist | series masterlist | navigation

pairings: older!natasha romanoff x young!fem reader

summary: your father doesn’t know it yet, but you’re in love with his best friend. and what makes it better is that you’re sure enough that she feels the same way. the sad part is, neither of you can word out your love for each other properly.

warnings: slight anxiety attack (just a tinge), bucky being a little bitch, smut involved, oral sex (n receiving), g!p natasha, dirty talking, fluff, and a little angst - MINORS DNI.

notes: i might be uploading part 6 later since i’m so motivated right now! and i’m sorry that i haven’t been updating, but i’ll do my best to update from now on! anyway, enjoy x 

The residents of the town began to throw their own parties in the middle of July. Therefore, I was invited, as well as my dear friends. When I asked Bucky about the large party near the swimming lake, he informed me that Felicia, one of our old friends, was hosting it. I considered joining and having fun with them, as I always do, but then I focused on Natasha because we were secretly developing a relationship. Though I knew deep down that our affair could never be in public, I still wanted to show her how much I love her as much as she loves me.

But Bucky kept an eye on both of us. And if he found out she loved me, my father would find out and tear us apart as if we were nothing to each other. Natasha is like a mother to me, but I don't see her that way, so I knew that my father would never approve of this kind of relationship. How can I think that way about her when all she offers is an act of affection that goes beyond platonic? How can I sleep when all I could think about is her? Her, her, her. I love her, I love her more than anything else in this world. I love her because she sees me, and only me. I love her.

Love is not always enough.

Reading in the sun is always my favorite activity when I'm in Italy with my father and the people around us. While fiddling through the pages, I pay close attention to Natasha as she flips the steak she was roasting near the garden area where we all eat. She turned her gaze to me and smiled, while my father was ranting to her about something so oblivious. I looked at her defined shoulders with a churn in my stomach. Oh, how many times I’ve bit onto her skin while her cock was ramming inside of my cunt, whispering my name each time she thrusts into me. In and out, in and out. My cunt began to feel tingly, and I had to close my legs to calm myself down. Not right now, I thought. It’s too obvious.

But her skin was flawless in the Tuscan sun. How easily she moves her hands in the air while talking to my father, how gracefully she smiles at him, making me wish she would do the same with me. I was the sun if she was the moon. Everything was flawless in my presence, and this summer has gone above and beyond perfection. I gave one more look before reading through the pages of my favorite book, sighing happily to myself.

I was about to fall asleep in the sun after fifteen minutes had passed when I overheard two people laughing and chatting as they approached our house. I sat up and looked over my shoulder to see Bucky and MJ walking by. What are they doing here? I thought to myself. Should I shoo them away to prevent ruining my day? Knowing Bucky, I know that my day will be ruined when he is around Natasha. I had to do something.

Until I was too late.

“Hey, Steve!” Bucky patted his back while inhaling the amazing smell of steak from the grill. He looked at Natasha and gave her a small smile, reaching out his hand. “It’s nice seeing you again, Nat.”

If they would see my face right now, they would notice how uncomfortable I was with this scenery.

"Good to see you too, Buck." She scratched the back of her neck and smiled at him. “And who is this lady? I’ve never seen her before.”

Steve responded in her place, taking a sip from his cold beer. "That's Y/n's other good friend Mj, they've been friends ever since we built the house here," he said. “Along with Bucky, of course. The three of them have been good friends.”

“You live here?” Natasha asked Mj.

She gleefully replied to the woman, "I only come here during the summer or Christmas. And whenever I’m here, Bucky and Y/n will be around the area. They’ve been my friends ever since I was a kid.”

Natasha nodded slowly and grabbed herself a cold beer from the red box that was filled with other beverages. “Y/n is over there, reading her book. Does she always like to read while the sun is out?”

“It’s one of her favorite things to do,” Mj chuckled, crossing her arms while whistling to catch my attention. I stood up from the grass and walked towards them all, brushing my hair away from my face. I smiled at Mj and gave her a small kiss on the cheek, greeting her in a friendly matter.

“When did you guys get here?” I asked. Before MJ could respond, Bucky wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him, as though I were his love. I knew Natasha was watching his arm, and there was nothing I could do about it.

“The minute we smelled these amazing fucking steaks!” Bucky exclaimed happily, kissing the temple of my forehead. I looked into Natasha’s green eyes, and the sparkling light behind them was gone. Did she envy me, now? Did she envy the way he touched me? If she only knew that I never meant for this to happen, then I would’ve gladly said that out loud. But I couldn’t risk it, not when my father and my other friend were around.

“Hey Y/n, why don’t you help Natasha bring out the wine glasses?” my father asked, which felt like some type of relief. I got out of Bucky’s embrace and followed Natasha to the kitchen quietly, not looking back at his staring eyes.

Because I knew he was staring.

I can feel the beginning of our silence as I make my way to the kitchen. When we arrived, neither of us exchanged a word, and I was unsure of how to start a conversation with her while she was nearby. She turned around and smiled at me, which was completely unexpected. I couldn't help but return her smile.

“Enjoying yourself out there?” she asked me with a deep sultry voice while her hands kept themselves busy. I shook my head and reached for four wine glasses, gripping them tightly with my fingers.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course,” she replied almost instantly and grabbed two bottles of red wine from the pantry. “Are you?”

I felt myself pausing, lacking words as her eyes stared deep into mine – as if she wanted to kiss me right there where everybody could see, where everybody could witness our unhinged love for each other. Instead, I nodded sheepishly and replied with a stutter, “W-Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“I know you, Y/n.”

“Were you jealous a while ago?”

She quirked an eyebrow and let out a small quiet chuckle, shaking her head.

“Was I jealous?”

I rolled my eyes, leaning against the countertop. “Can you answer my question properly, please?”

“I wasn’t,” she said. “I just… he’s holding you as if you were his.”

“But you know that I’m yours, right?” my voice sounded timid, and the air started to feel warm. My skin also felt warm, almost to the point of sweating. She nodded and slowly walked towards me, her breath trickling down my face. She leans in close and smiles to herself. Like a proud woman, she is.

“I know, sweetheart. Maybe that’s why I want to fuck you tonight.”

I let out a quiet gasp when she kissed my bottom lip searingly and walked away with a proud grin on her face. I tried to walk properly, but I could feel my legs tingling once again. This effect that she has on me, cannot be hidden anymore. At some point, everyone will know and I will be the one who is to blame for it. Not her. But could that even happen right now? I doubt it.

We ate the steak in the garden with laughs and giggles coming from us all. I was sitting beside Bucky while Natasha was sitting with my father, pouring herself a drink while my father helps her out with the cigarette in her mouth. MJ couldn’t help but ask, “Are you two dating?”

Natasha and Steve exchanged glances before giggling softly. That caused my heart to race because I felt as though I were witnessing their love story. It wasn't, though, so that. They might be dating, but I doubt it. It could just be a theoretical idea. Not when Natasha gave me a different kind of look than everyone else.

Bucky felt his body stiffen and ate a huge piece of meat. MJ scrunched her eyebrows together, asking the same question again. “So, are you?”

“No, we’re not dating,” the woman replied to her. “I don’t think he would be my type anyway.”

“Wait, so are you–”

“Yes,” Natasha cuts her off with an amusing smile, flicking the ash from the cigarette near the ground. “I’m a lesbian, MJ. I like women.”

There was a brief silence before MJ nodded with a flushed face, sipping her drink from the wine glass. Bucky nodded slowly and brought his arm back around me, as if protecting me from something so dangerous. Natasha looked at us both, but her face looked nonchalant. She wasn’t bothered. Why wasn’t she bothered by the two of us?

“I heard that Felicia is throwing a party again,” my father mentioned, wiping his chin with a paper towel. MJ looked at me with a smirk, a devilish one, and I could feel my eyes rolling in a playful matter. “Are you three going? You know, Felicia was one of your best friends.”

“Until she fucking backstabbed us with that boyfriend of his, what was his name again?”

“Peter Parker,” Bucky answered for MJ. “Parker got jacked up actually, have you seen his abs?”

“Now I’m suddenly thinking you might be gay, Mr. Barnes,” I whispered, shoving my elbow against his rib playfully – causing him to wince. I hear Natasha chuckling quietly from the scene and sipping from her wine glass, looking away.

Eventually, I realized that I did that on purpose. To make her laugh and see that I do not love him nor worship him and that I was all hers instead of his. I could continue to show my love for her like this, out in the open.

“Peter fucking Parker,” MJ mumbled to herself, grabbing one stick of cigarette that was on the middle of the table. She borrowed Natasha’s lighter and puffed out smoke in the air. “I’ve always had feelings for her.”

“You had feelings for Felicia?” I asked and she nodded. “Wait, how come I didn’t know about this?”

“Us gay people are good at hiding it,” Natasha butts herself in, looking at me with a slight grin on her face. “I say you did a pretty good job at hiding it.”

“Well, thanks for that.”

While Bucky had his arm around me as we ate and engaged in a number of new conversations, I could feel the woman's glare. She took one final bite of her steak before leaving to use the restroom. I desperately wanted to go after her and confess my love to her, but I knew that would endanger our relationship. Instead, I see her stepping away from the table while slightly hunching her back. “You're making it obvious, Y/n,” Bucky said as he continued to pull me in. “Stop it.”

It cringes me that he knew so quickly that I was in love with my father’s best friend.

“Are you two together now?” my father asked with a huge grin on his face that purely disgusts me how he thinks that way, that I was supposed to be in love with Bucky instead of Natasha. “Bucky, did she say yes?”

“Yes to what exactly?" They both looked at me with intriguing eyes that scared me away as my curiosity took over. What could he possibly be talking about–

“That you’re Bucky’s girlfriend,” dad slowly said with a frown. “Did you not say yes?”

What?!

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about–”

“I haven’t asked her yet,” Bucky murmured to my father, and he looked at me with an apologetic look. “Y/n, I was going to ask you–”

“You know how I feel about you, Buck,” I whispered to him, eyeing everyone else at the table with my heart pounding like crazy. It was like I was being humiliated or being used like another toy, just like how my mother would use me when I still lived with her. I looked at my father one last time before giving him that look that I had never used on him before. “And you know that I’m not ready for any of this.”

“But I thought…” his word drifted, just like how my trust drifted away as well. “I thought we felt the same way?”

Don’t act like you know my love for Natasha.

“Can we not do this here?" I got to my feet and wiped my skirt. “I’ll be in my room.” I started walking to the other house and started crying before he could utter a word. He would never make me happy, let alone if I tried to discover my feelings for him. He should be my boyfriend—never her. But the fact remains that she will always be the culprit, and that hurts.

Because I know that it’s impossible to love someone in secret.

Being by yourself by the lake is quiet and sentimental. I enjoy bringing my books here, and occasionally Bucky too. But following that event that afternoon, I made the decision that I could no longer bring him here. I tried to forget what had happened as I frantically read through the pages of my book. As I've learned from Cris, our housekeeper, Natasha has left with Steve. What were they doing, perhaps getting another drink at a bar with some people their age? I could never know, I never understood the meaning behind that.

As I close my eyes, I can feel like someone was walking toward me. When I opened the lids of my eyes, Natasha was right in front of me, with a solemn look on her face – as if she was sorry for what happened a while ago. She sat down beside me and gave me a peck on the head.

“I heard what happened a while ago,” I sighed as she whispered that statement to me. Of course, MJ has told her. “Did Bucky hurt you?”

“Not physically.”

“What happened then, dove?”

“I don’t have the energy to tell you, Tash.”

While lying down next to me and watching the wind-blown tree leaves, she sighed. I felt her hand entwined with mine, but I did not object because I sort of like it when she does these things without saying them out loud. She looked at me, and asked: “What did he say?”

“Something with ‘I was supposed to ask you to become my girlfriend'," but I made a dramatic walk out,” I answered briefly. “I mean, he knew about us, but why would he even ask that question? He knows I’d say no.”

“Maybe Steve planned this,” she reasoned, which made me turn my head a little to look her in the eye. “I mean, Steve loves you both. He wants to see you two as a pair, so I assume maybe he gave Bucky his blessing or he told him to get you as his girlfriend.”

“I thought Dad wanted the best for me.”

“And I’m sure he does, baby girl…” her hand crept inside of my tank top and pulled my body closer to her, our noses touching – without a word. “He does. It’s just that… he doesn’t really know what your heart wants.”

My heart screams for you, my body wants you. Every part of me wants you and only you.

“Do you love me?” I asked her with an unmelodic voice. I pressed our noses together hard and begged, “Do you love me? Tell me you love me, Tasha. Tell me that you do.”

Natasha cups the right side of my face and pulls me into a french kiss, her tongue sliding into my mouth that I could’ve sworn I let out a guttural moan. I didn't pull away nor push her away, I let her in. She whispered breathlessly, “I love you more than the words described.”

“Then show me,” I begged once again as I trailed my hand down into her brown shorts, feeling her erection against the palm of my hand. She moans into my mouth and drags me closer to her, grunting each time I stroke her cock in her confinement. “Show me that you love me, Tasha.”

“You want me to show you, huh?” her hands hurriedly pulled down her shorts along with her boxers as her cock pokes out in the air, precum leaking from its head. She grabbed my hand and wrapped it around her length, her eyes fluttering close as I dragged the skin downward. “Oh fuck, your hand feels so warm…”

Our tongues danced as I slowly pumped her cock. I could feel her spitting saliva into my mouth, pleading with me to swallow it. As soon as I did, she softly pinched my right nipple with her hand concealed inside my tank top while licking the roof of my mouth. Everything felt at peace – pure silence and bliss. I couldn’t ask anything for more.

“Touch me,” she whispered with a weary tone, dragging her lips down to my chest. I realized that she was begging, she had never begged before in my presence. “Touch me harder, go faster with your hand.”

I’d never touched a cock before in my life until she came around. At first, I had no idea how to use my hand. Whether I should just lick the tip of her cock or bring her to orgasm with my hand. But as I get skillful with every part of my body, I already know how to pleasure her – yet it feels all new to me as if I’ve never touched anyone in my life.

It was just me and her, in my little world.

The sloshing sounds filled our area and were not audible as I jerked her cock off, and she stared directly into my face. I couldn't help but stoop down and suck all of her pre-cum into my mouth as the tip of her penis started to turn this sort of purplish color. Despite how bitter it tasted, I savored every last drop of her juice. It almost had a sweet-bitter flavor that resembled glazed donuts. My head was touched by her hand as she pushed me deeper into her long cock while groaning in pain from the chokehold.

“That’s a good girl,” she stuttered, her breathing hitching each time I gagged while taking her cock into my throat. She slowly lifts her hips and starts to thrust into my mouth, making me let out choking sounds. “Use your tongue baby, fuck–your mouth is so wet, I could be in your mouth forever…”

Forever, you say? What about your feelings for me? Would that be forever too?

The way she uses her words too, I could go on forever about how much I’ve loved her talking like that with me.

When my nose was pressed against her pelvis, I knew that her cock was all the way into my mouth – and I could barely breathe because of it. So I pulled out quickly and let my saliva dribble onto her cock. I watch as it twitches in my hand, and I gradually pull the skin of her dick all the way down before bringing it back up, pushing out more precum from her. She flexes her stomach as I continue to do this, whispering: “What else do you want me to do, Daddy?”

“J-Just keep sucking on it,” she softly demands, I could not resist. So I put her penis back into my mouth and started to bob my head up and down, my tongue pressing against her rod. “Oh yeah… that’s so good. Your tongue feels so good, baby. A-Ah–”

I could feel the sun burning into the back of my neck, yet I didn’t care. I continued to devour her cock, slurping and licking every bit of it. She throws her head back and thrusts into my mouth in a shallow pace, making my face all puffy and red. “More, more…” she said. “Need to fucking blow into your mouth, let me cum in your mouth?”

I nodded vigorously as I massaged her balls, her moans turning into a whine. She prompts both of her elbows on the grass as she watches me bobbing my mouth up and down, savoring every taste that she has. Natasha bites her lower lip, almost causing me to draw blood, and continues to thrust slowly into my mouth.

I pulled away with a wet pop and jerked her length while kissing the tip of it. “Are you going to cum soon, Daddy?”

“Uh-huh…” she nodded, scooting closer as she got closer to her high. “I’m going to cum soon baby, j-just stick out your tongue!”

I did what I was told to do, bringing my tongue out as she rapidly jerked herself off, her hooded eyes staring at my mouth rather than at my eyes. She humps the air until her hips stiffen, screaming quietly: “I’m cumming! I’m–Oh god…”

My eyes began to close as I felt her sperm splash onto my mouth, then open again as some of it landed on my nose and then my eyes. Her world is filled with rainbows and other forms of happiness as she sprawls out on the grass during an explosive orgasm. I sat next to her and used her boxers as a tissue to wipe off the cum from my face. She hugged me tightly while her bottom was completely exposed, looking at me with guilt in her eyes.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I liked it.”

“I would make love to you here but…” her words trailed off when she looked over her shoulder, the house was a few feet away from the lake. “Maybe in your room this time?”

She gave me a tight hug as I giggled in her arms. How could I ever let this go over a boy when I’m truly happy with another person? She was my happy place forever, and this was my happy place. My eternal crush on a woman. We talked and laughed for another hour while we were sitting by the lake, remembering all the other experiences we had as a couple. Perhaps I should consider moving away with her so that I don't have to live in this neglectful environment, that I call home.

As soon as we got back, my friends were inside the house. I looked at Bucky at first, then Felicia since I haven’t seen her in so long. She smiled at me and gave me a warm hug – I gladly accepted it.

“I haven’t seen you in a really long time, Y/n.” she contemplated with a sigh. “I’ve missed my best friend.”

“Don’t steal her away from me,” Bucky mentions with a chuckle, dragging the cigarette away from his mouth while his eyes were on Natasha. I looked at them both, and I noticed that Natasha wasn’t looking at him but instead, looked at Felicia. “What did you do with your Auntie?”

Of course, he would sound condescending. But I couldn’t get mad at him right now, not in front of everyone who is watching us both. So I replied with a nonchalant tone, “We just sat by the lake, anything wrong with that?”

He shook his head slowly, examining my body as if he might find something that would be evidential that I gave Natasha a hard blow job.

He didn’t inspect anything, I was too good at this.

“Nothing at all, pretty girl.”

“You should go to my party tonight,” Felicia happily shook both sides of my arms, squealing with excitement. “Everyone will be there! There will be drinks, music, and loads of other stuff! You know I’m great at hosting parties.”

“That I do remember,” I chuckled, kissing her cheek. “I’ll have to dress up first, you guys should go ahead.”

I watch as they all leave, including Bucky, before I can walk to Natasha. We both knew, for some reason, that I would never be his when he turned to look back. I wish I could have chosen him instead, and it does break my heart that I can't. But I also want to be with someone who makes me feel complete and important. After everyone left, Natasha pulled me into an embrace while sighing into my neck. She seemed to have been waiting for this, so I happily gave it to her. A simple hug has the potential to become something magical.

“I’ll never let you go,” she whimpered. “Just don’t let me go too, okay?”

We gave each other a tight hug as I nodded and kissed her. I noticed she was wearing the kind of woodsy fragrance I liked from her as soon as I smelled her. But I was unable to fully explain it because saying anything more would be overwhelming. I don’t ever want to slip away from her, and I knew that I won’t if there was a time that my father would find out about us both.

“I promise.”

“I know.” she sighed and kissed my mouth with no agony, no torture.

taglist:  @trans-wolf-boi @generousfartdragon @marvelogic @that-one-gay-mosquito @wandanotsosure @madelineleong @kksalexa @karsonromanoff​ @natashaswife4125​ @florojas​ @natashaxwife

[bairdthereader]

There's one in every friend group (and we love them).

Bonus--Confused Nick is confused:

[yooboobies]

7 miljinmeter tall...🤏🏼 | dedicated to @cordiallyfuturedwight tiny tan (4/7)

{cr. 0613data}

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

[suntails]

guess how much i love you?