#I WOULD CASTRATE AND MARRY YOU IN A HEARTBEAT

[stinkybreath]

y’all know me y’all know I don’t get into shipping in almost any capacity but I have literally been made verklempt by tomgreg just now w the nero and sporus scene

[dayurno]

I'm sorry that everyone is so cowardly as not to say Riko feminizing Kevin to feed his mommy kink

riko was always the original kevin feminizer because i know there have been many times in his life where he looked at kevin and said, out loud, I wish you were a girl to which kevin had nothing to answer at all. the original i would castrate and marry you in a heartbeat

[jealousgirlao3]

we all know about the "would you kiss me" shenanigan, but has anyone ever paid attention to the fact that greg almost considers it and looks around to see who would witness it?

[whim-prone-pirate]

they might have genuinely been drunk and high and over-caffeinated and overdosing when writing the nero and sporus scene because i'm rewatching it and what the FUCK was the point of it if not the most insane declaration of deep homosexual love ever displayed on television

[tomgrcg]

nero pushed his pregnant wife down the stairs and married sporus instead and i would castrate and marry you in a heartbeat and do you want to come with me sporus and sing my song and greg's name is on the paper on the side in pencil with a question mark and tom's pregnant wife fell down the stairs and

[piierrote]

Receipts

A Riso Tomgreg Succession Fanzine 

Text transcript under the cut, but image descriptions available in ALT

Page 1: Manilla envelope titled receipts

page 2: ‘would you kiss me?’

Page 3: ‘if i asked you to?’ ‘if i told you to?’

page 4: ‘ill look after you’ (greg: are you trying to seduce me tom?’) ‘I’m serious i will’ ‘what do you know of nero and sporus?’

page 5: ‘nero pushed his wife down the stairs’ ‘then he had sporus castrated and married him instead.’ ‘i would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.’

page 6: Greg: is it real?

Page 7: ‘what do you say, sporus?’

[susiehunsecker-remade]

talking to friend I have no feelings for: You remind me of an ancient greek boywife. I would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat. Do you want to kiss me

talking to girl I've been in love with for years now: Saw a cat fly today

[raviposting]

Succession + My favorite queer readings of (most) of the Roy family

Image ID under the cut: 

Five large gifs of Connor Roy, Kendall Roy, Tom Wambsgans & Shiv Roy, Roman Roy, and Greg Roy. Each gif is split up into one black and white gif and six gifs in color. 

[Gif 1: A black and white gif of Connor Roy on the top right of the gif, putting on his suit jacket and talking. The set says Connor Roy, trans. To the left of the gif are two vertically rectangular gifs. One is of Connor in a khaki shirt saying “I am the eldest son of our father. I am. Me.” and the other is from the same scene, where Connor says “I’m the eldest son”. The camera pans to Shiv, who says “Well, yeah, obviously, but you know what he means.” Underneath the gifs is a horizontally rectangle shaped gif of Connor and Roman in an apartment. Connor says “You know, PGN pulls up that photo of me in a ponytail any time they want to call me untrustworthy.” Roman points in agreement with his thumb after Connor says this. Under the gif are two small square gifs. The one to the left is a video of Connor in a kitchen saying “Ding dong! Who’s there? Uncle Sam. And where’s his hand? In my pants.” The other gif has Logan (offscreen) saying “Cut the horseshit. Know your role.” Connor nods sadly and replies “Yes Pa.” The final gif is next to these squares and underneath the black and white gif, and it shows Gerri saying “First-second born son.” As she corrects herself, Connor rolls his eyes and looks away.] 

[Gif 2: A black and white gif of Kendall Roy at the top left of the gif. He is staring at Mattson (offscreen). The gif says Kendall Roy, queer. To the right of the gif are two vertically rectangular gifs. The first one shows Kendall in a dark blue shirt, speaking to Stewy (offscreen). Kendall says “There was no card he wouldn’t play against me.” The next gif shows Kendall speaking to Lawrence Yee, both in suits. Kendall pulls out a chair and says “So, are we ready to fuck or what?” while Lawrence chuckles, caught off guard. Underneath these gifs is a horizontal rectangular gif. It flips from Stewy embracing Kendall to a shot of Nate and Kendall ending their hug, arms still around each other. Unnder this gif are two square gifs. The one on the bottom right shows Logan saying “Hey, are you queer? Did you try to fuck him?”. The camera cuts to Kendall, who does not speak. The final gif is of Stewy speaking, the only thing onscreen is Stewy’s hand, which makes a handjob motion. The text says “Why don’t we do what we did back in the day, let’s go to the bathroom, have a little something something, just knock out a few ideas.” At some point his hand knocks against Kendall, who moves his hands away.] 

[Gif 3: A black and white gif of Tom and Shiv at the bottom right of the gif. They are biting each other’s arms and grinning at each other. The text says Tom Wambsgans & Shiv Roy, mlm & wlw (cringefail beards). The gifs to the left of them are two vertically rectangular gifs. The one on the right shows Tom speaking to Greg (offscreen), saying “I’d castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.” The gif to the left shows Shiv in sunglasses, speaking to Logan (who is out of frame), saying “[Lisa’s], yeah, she’s a pretty...she’s a friend.” The gif above these two is a horizontal rectangle gif of both Shiv and Tom. Tom asks “Can I...watch?” and the camera cuts to Shiv, who lights up and says, “Oh, yeah!” The gifs above this are two square gifs. The one on the left shows Tom kissing Greg’s forehead in Greg’s office. The one to the right shows Shiv speaking with Rhea. Shiv says “So, are you a person who can’t look someone in the eye after you fucked them?” The final gif is next to these gifs and shows Tom, speaking to Greg (out of frame) and Logan (out of frame). To Greg he says, “Would you kiss me?” and to Logan he says “I could give you a kiss from here.”] 

[Gif 4: A black and white gif of Roman in his child’s Walmart shirt. The text says Roman Roy, gay, ace, bi, pan. The sexualities are all crossed out and the bottom text says Yes. To the right of this are two vertical rectangular gifs. The one on the left shows Roman speaking to Jeryd Menckyn (out of frame). Roman says Well this is nice. Couple of cool guys having some disgusting fun.” The camera then cuts to Roman winking at Mencken. The gif to the right shows Roman hugging a disinterested Eduard Asgarov. Roman says “Oh my god, you smell like cotton candy. I almost want to lick your neck.” The gif above is a horizontal rectangle gif. It shows Roman and his physical trainer, they are doing a session but the implication is suggestive. The subtitle shows Shiv’s line from season 3: “Everyone says that he used to get jerked off by his personal trainer.” There are two square gifs above this one. The one to the left is of Roman and Mencken smiling at each other in the bathroom. The one to the right is of Gerri on the phone, degrading Roman, while Roman  masturbates in his room. The final gif is of two shots. The first shot shows Roman saying “...and [I’m the only one] who doesn’t wanna fuck anyone” and the second shot shows Tabitha. Roman (offscreen) asks her “Is there anyone you haven’t fucked?” and Tabitha replies: “You!”]

[Gif 5: A black and white gif of Greg in a suit, with an auction sticker on his forehead that was placed there by Tom (offscreen). The text says Gregory Hirsch, Gay. To the left are two vertical rectangular squares. The one to the right shows Greg in a restaurant, asking “You trying to seduce me, Tom?” before it flips to a shot of Greg in the same scene, blushing and brushing back his hair behind his ears. The gif on the left shows Tom and Greg at Kendall’s birthday party. Tom says “I got a dick the size of a red sequoia and I fuck like a bullet train. Okay? Satisfied?” and Greg steps towards him and says “Prove it.” The gif underneath these two is a horizontal rectangle of Greg running up close to Tom, excitedly telling him something while Tom looks annoyed. Underneath this are two square gifs. The one to the left show Tom in a white suit and Greg in a polo. Greg’s hand is on his cheek, he smiles at Tom and says “Souls are boring!” and Tom puts his head down and laughs. The gif to the right shows Tom and Greg at Kendall’s party, and Greg says “Well, just...I haven’t seen you smile in, like six hours.” The final gif is next to it, it is a square gif of Greg in a suit, walking in the bathroom speaking to himself nervously. He says “You could go to jail. Yeah, would you like that? Would you like that, pretty boy like you? Would you like it? Oh, you might. You might even like that.”] 

[baelonthebrave]

the thing about succession ships is you don’t get it until you get it

‘you pusillanimous piece of fools gold’? ok I get it

‘I would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat’? ok I get it

‘you just fucked yourself’ ‘did I?’ ……ok I get it

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Admittedly i am also not super enthused by Greg this season and it is getting worse by the episode but they can never take "would you kiss me" "i got a dick the size of a red sequoia and i fuck like a bullet train" "i would castrate and marry you in a heartbeat" from us

[grahamcore]

“siobhan, do you remember when we first knew one another” >>>> “i would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat” sorry if that’s controversial

[mariautistic]

I would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat

[dayurno]

ur tags on the succession post is killing me. in the dark of their dorm at night riko is like. I Wish you were a woman. i would marry you. we would be together forever. and kevin, who has just recently discovered the joys of gay sex with one jean moreau, is sweating like Hahah yeah…. Im not tho…. sorry

ITS FUNNY ITS REALLY FUNNY TO ME. i think riko thought of kevin as a girl often and unabashedly and the idea started out as a normal repressed thing when they were like 10 and turned into "i'd castrate and marry you in a heartbeat" up until the point of canon. there's a very real distinction though that riko wouldn't say i wish you were a woman, he'd say i wish there was a way for me to turn you into a woman. because if he had the chance to change kevin in a way so permanent that would only benefit riko on the long run he would do it without thinking twice of it, and he'd find himself in his right to

i was going to say this is like a feminization fetish and i'm sure part of it could be but really it's just how i imagine riko's brain works. like if it was achievable he would absolutely do it. no woman has ever interested him in the way kevin does but obviously anything with kevin would be impossible with the master looking over them. a lot of riko's feelings towards kevin would be on that very crux of possessiveness and willfull ignorance of consent which is very interesting for me

[jealousgirlao3]

excerpt from a fic i’m currently writing:

But he was different with Greg. He spoils Greg with expensive dinners, he buys Greg personal tailored suits, and tells him things like, “I’ll take care of you.” Tom should be doing these things for his wife— and he’s sure Shiv would question it if she saw how much money Tom was spending on Greg, but maybe Tom is like Nero in that way; adorning Sporus with his dead wife’s gowns and jewelry.

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

tv show/movie ask meme: Succession!

favorite male character:

Greg, because I feel like he's already just such a weird dude but he's got sooo much potential going into season 4 to be even weirder and worse (/pos)

favorite female character:

❤️💞🥰💖 Gerri ❤️💞🥰💖, because well you see MILFS,, and hotness aside she's just so sarcastic and like deadpan and funny but also just so ruthlessly professional ("how does it serve my interests")

least favorite character:

Logan's already basically a free space so I'm gonna go with Karl Muller he's just annoying to me and I dislike when he comes onscreen for some reason,,,

prettiest character:

❤️💞🥰💖 Gerri ❤️💞🥰💖

do I really need to explain myself further?

(gif credit as far as I know goes to @gerrikillallmen if that's incorrect please tell me-)

funniest character:

Ooh this is tough cause I wanna say Tom cause he's strange and insane and pathetically in love, but then again Roman cause he's strange and insane and pathetically in love, but then again Greg cause he's s-

favorite season:

Season 3 because all the storylines are just culminating to and end and it's so fascinating to see how it happens, all of the dynamics are at their peak, theres the surface conflicts and the underlying conflicts that attack you when you least expect it, the betrayal, the love it's all just so tragic (and COOL)

favorite episode:

Safe Room (2x04) : because its silly and weird and the tomgreg is insane, but also the Roman storyline is hilarious and if I'm not mistaken he calls Gerri "mommy" in this episode which is always appreciated

favorite romantic ship:

Tomgreg (I'm so sorry romangerri) because it's just so Roman (not as in the country itself as it is today, I've never been to Rome) but as in just look at the series of events (SPOILERS AHEAD):

-> man proposes to beautiful wife with a lot of power

-> he meets his girlfriend's cousin

-> he later proposes to his girlfriend

-> his wife is seeing other men

-> the cousin tries to warn him, he won't hear it

-> his wife admits to this after their wedding night

-> while she sees other people he is allegedly allowed to do the same thing but she intervenes not so subtly when he has the chance

-> their love languages grow more and more incompatible

-> he and the his wife's cousin form a weird bond (likened by the man to that of Nero and Sporus, wherein Nero killed his wife and married Sporus, the man says "I would castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat", meaning he would need to kill his wife first, which uh-)

-> the man eventually becomes loyal more-so to his wife's cousin than to his wife and betrays her to leverage himself and his assistant to a higher position

favorite family ship:

I love the dynamic between Shiv and Roman they're just So Siblings and I love when they gang up on Ken it's peak comedy.

favorite friend ship:

I know they were together but like Roman and Tabitha were great and I thought their relationship was more "best buds-y" (not that sex is a requirement for a romantic relationship) they just gave of more platonic romance than anything else and I thought it was sweet and funny for them

worst ship:

I don't know if this is real or not but I've seen some hints that some people ship Ken x Greg but they're related so that's a BIG no for me. I'm also not crazy about Tom x Roman or Tom x Ken but that's just personal preference I don't have beef with those ships themselves and anyone who does like them do your thing go off be free.

Sorry this is so long 😬

[hekateinhell]

Oh Succession is TOTALLY a VC AU lmao, I really don’t need to watch any other adaptation, this is it for me. The Roy siblings are totally Lestat, Louis and Armand at different points, though Tom and Greg are definitely Devil Minion coded, “I’d castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat”, and cue Tom trashing an entire room when Greg declares he wants some independence/time on his own, “you belong to ME”. Marius is a bit Gerri coded and would definitely call Armand his slime puppy 😔

OMG NOT MARIUS SAYING 'SLIME PUPPY' TO ARMAND 🤧🤧🤧 @monstersinthecosmos come collect your VC/Succession people, I'm in over my head