#I WENT THRIFTING YESTERDAY AND I GOT ALL THREE MOVIES IN A BOX SET

[so-very-small]

trapping a tiny in a jar and gently setting the jar next to me on the sofa and giving them some popcorn cause i’m about to make them watch the entire extended editions of Lord of the Rings with me

[thatshankcallednewt]

Gally: Farewell - Epilogue

In case you missed it...  Part One//Part Two

WARNING: Themes of death and suicide.

It had rained all night but the morning was sunny and crisp, cooler than usual but you knew that the warmth would come soon over the next few days. You liked the rain, it settled your nerves and helped you sleep at night. Gally liked the rain, too, because he had fallen asleep quicker than you which is rare. Most nights he’d toss and turn beside you restlessly, sometimes he’d still have his nightmares and you would be thrown back into your teen years of trying to calm him down, sometimes they were so bad that you would have to keep at it for a few hours, on and off, but you didn’t mind, you never minded caring for him.

“Are you… okay?” Gally questioned beside you as he steered the car around another corner.

You smiled, “You’re observant today.”

“I’m always observant.”

You peered out the passenger window on your side, “Well, you know…”

“Doesn’t get any easier, does it?”

You looked over at him, nodding, “Exactly right,” you laughed, “I remember thinking about where I would be a year later, even three. I wondered if we’d even still be friends, all of us. If we’d still visit.”

“Well, it’s been three years, how good was your prediction?”

You looked at Gally beside you in his dark hoodie and jeans, suddenly realising that the pair of you looked a little older than three summers ago, “Doesn’t matter what I predicted, I’ve got you, haven’t I? That’s all I’ll ever need.”

He smiled.

The car was soon parked downhill, Gally had a little trouble with his parallel-parking but you were soon out of his car in no time. You waited for him to lock the car before beginning the mini hike up the round hill where the cemetery entrance stood firmly. From below, you could already see some familiar faces.

You waved up at Newt and Thomas who stood by the opened gate. When you both finally caught up with them, they nodded over up at the hill, “The others are already there but we saw your car coming ‘round the corner,” Newt said, and he looked over to Gally, “good to see you got rid of that shit-box you used to drive.”

Gally cracked a grin, “Looks like you’re still driving Thomas around everywhere, aren’t ya?”

Newt laughed and Thomas only pouted, and you all began to make your way up to Alby’s gravestone, in the distance, you could already see the others standing around it.

You shoved your hands into your coat pockets against the cool breeze and stood beside Gally as you all crowded around Alby’s gravestone. It was well-maintained despite the amount of wind and rain recently. You watched as Teresa and Brenda put down some flowers and everyone was quiet, thinking about the good times had with him.

“Four years now, right?” Newt said, staring at Alby’s engravened name. His blond hair ruffled in the breeze.

Minho nodded, “Four years…” He scratched the back of his head uncomfortably, maybe he was nervous, “still feels like yesterday… like, as if it were only last night that we squished around his shitty TV and played Mario Kart or even Super Smash Bros on his Nintendo 64.”

“Remember the storm?” Teresa said, her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders and she was huddled up in her knit jumper.

“How could I forget,” Minho said, and he chuckled, “I didn’t go back until you guys came with me. Couldn’t even begin to explain it to my mom when she wanted to do a family trip up there…”

“Nothing like that has happened since, though, right?” Brenda asked, confirming by glancing at everyone, while everyone nodded and mumbled back. It was true, each summer that you’ve gone back to the house with the others, nothing ever even came close to that one weekend. Sometimes you think you might feel something watching you over your shoulder or hear something in the night, but you don’t think anything of it, because even if it was Alby, you know that he was just checking in to see how everyone was going.

Minho touched the gravestone carefully, and Thomas and Gally followed lead but neither of them said anything more.

Newt opened up a flask that he took from his coat pocket and splashed a little on the soil near his gravestone, “Still drinking your favourite whiskey, even though it’s the cheapest kind,” he swallowed a mouthful and rose it in cheers, before adding, “still tastes best in the morning.”

When Newt was finished, you took your hand out of your pocket and placed a small brooch on the stone near the flowers. He was as much of a nerd as you were and loved a lot of the same things that you did, you would always exchange stupid things like brooches or bracelets, necklaces or thrifted tops that celebrated the comics or video games or movies you both enjoyed. This brooch was one of the last ones you bought, only a couple of days before he died, and only three days ago did you find it again.

“I meant to give this to you… when you died, I couldn’t find it, I spent hours looking for it before your funeral,” you kept crouched beside the gravestone, “trust me to lose it.” You smiled sadly, “Wish I could have given it to you sooner." You stood up from the dirt and didn’t say anything else, instead, you stepped back into the circle, thankful for the hand that Gally gave as he slid his into yours.

Everyone crowded into the booth of the diner that was not far from the cemetery. It became a tradition, each year since the first summer without Alby, to visit his grave and go to the diner and plan the next trip. Even in death, Alby brought you altogether.

“So, where was it?” Gally asked, having remembered your almost emotional breakdown when you couldn’t find it before the funeral. You were curled up amongst the mess of your room, clothes and shoes and things strewn across the floor, sobbing, and Gally tried to help but you could only scream angrily at him. It wasn’t a memory you liked to think about, but you were reminded how Gally was always there for you, even in the darker times.

“It was in a box of college stuff I packed away ages ago, in a jacket pocket…” You shook your head almost incredulous, “The amount of times I wore that jacket and never noticed…”

Teresa drank a mouthful of her milkshake before catching onto something, she was always pretty good at reading people, “What were you doing with a box of college things?”

You grinned sheepishly and glanced at Gally who only shrugged, causing your friends’ stares to grow confused. You stared at your hands as they fidgeted with your napkin, “I was going through some things… donating clothes, ‘coz I need to get rid of a lot of my stuff,” you looked up at them, “Gally and I are moving in together.”

Your friends’ eyes lit up at your news and they congratulated you and you were reminded of the time when you told them that Gally and you were official.

“Remember when you two just ignored your feelings for each other?” Newt started with a smile on his face, “and I had to bloody nudge you both closer and closer… such a simpler time, that was.”

You rolled your eyes at Newt but laughed at his joke, “I guess, to your credit, Newt, you probably helped us along.”

“Helped you along?” he started, almost baffled, “I practically got you two together! If it weren’t for me on that stormy night—”

“I remember you pissing me off, that’s it,” Gally remarked which Newt only grinned at.

“Exactly,” he stated, “the only way to get Gally on the move is to piss him off—”

“Oh, so you planned it all along, huh?”

Newt went to argue with him some more, but you cut them both off by saying, “Slim it, both of you, it’s been a long day and I would rather not argue about my love life so openly.”

Newt smiled softly, his hair still a wild mess from the wind outside, “I’m just glad, for the both of you.”

You smiled at him and felt Gally’s hand on yours underneath the table.

“So,” Minho said as he rested his arms on top of the table, “where are we off to next?”

The group then proceeded to argue about holiday visits, it indeed had become tradition to visit Minho’s holiday home but something about this year set off a different vibe, a new place was on the table.

Thomas suddenly interrupted everybody’s arguing as he slammed his hands down onto the diner’s table, causing the few customers around to glance over their shoulders at the group, “If we don’t come to any kind of agreement, I’m flying off on my own to Fiji.”

“As if you even have the money to,” Newt remarked at which everyone giggled or laughed at.

You let them argue about where they wanted to go and stared out of the window beside you, it was drizzling again but only barely, there were water marks dripping down the glass and it blurred to blue and grey colours. You thought about the summer ahead of you and smiled to yourself and an overwhelming sense of thankfulness came over you: these friends you had, they were the best to come. And even though you were pulled apart by loss and grief, you found each other again, and you always would.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

5/12/17, 11:11pm - gettin cucked up

me and a particular group of my melee friends have been using the word cuck a lot still and I never really thought about where it came from. Like 4chan probably repopularized the use of the word because I saw that cuckold porn became a really big trend on there, but the way we use it isn’t like cuckoldry exactly, it’s more like getting fucked over, or stood up, or most specifically teased with a promise of a good time and then having someone back out at the last minute.

More on that later I guess. This week’s been so hectic. Wtf it’s only been like 5 days it feels like it’s been weeks already. I’ve restrategized my Get Your Shit Together (4.0) list, and the big three things are 1. pass the RPSGT, 2. get moved out of my apartment, 3. get some surgeries. 

Tony actually wrote my letter for real, so I put in my application to take the test this week! My cpr aed certification is outdated so I got an online one and I’m not allowed, so I have to do a course this weekend and fix that, but otherwise I’m all set. Gotta study hard, I’m pretty fucking pumped to get a raise. Glad I’m not dying for the money rn though, the $500 to take the test and get a new cpr cert would have me stresssssed the fuck out, dude.  No progress on getting someone to take my room just yet, my room’s a fucking mess, I need to do laundry, I’m kinda putting all this shit off for now tbh. We’ll wait until I’ve taken the exam I’ve got vacation this week anyway. And I talked to my dad, who gave me his blessing so to speak to get a vasectomy. I fudged a number that I told him, said that it’s 90% reversible (most numbers say 95% or greater w/in 3 years, about 50% at 10), but with the potential for in vitro fertilization even if the reversal fails I’m sure that’s about right. He told me that my mom had told him that she wasn’t trying to get pregnant for a year or so and then ‘was practically pregnant the next day.’ coupled with how mom was talking about being pregnant at their wedding I can see that lol. He basically told me that he loves all of us a lot, but yeah I would’ve definitely done that because it’s worth it to not have that kind of surprise when you can’t make money for a kid. I definitely can’t make money for a kid right now lol that would kill me. So I’ve already called the doc to get a referral and I’m gonna get a vasectomy. Gotta figure out how much my septum surgery will be too, but that’ll be a lot more -_- Me and dad were catching up for a bit and I helped him get in touch with Dr. Bruce to fix a hernia so he’s gonna be giving me some more money so that’ll help with that too though. Plus I’ll FINALLY be making sleep tech money. I’m so fucking pumped.

Plus basically the past 3 days I’ve Actually just been working. 3 patients a night for the first time this week was stressful as fuck. I mean not exactly. Just time consuming and pretty frustrating. As jimmy said “if you were still trying to get through Zelda you probably would be dying right now.” Made it through fine and that should sweeten up my paycheck just a smidgen.

Still haven’t eaten french fries, but definitely gave up on cigs. Practically like two days later. I was out drinking for Josh’s birthday and smoked a bunch. That shit was so fucking cash omg. I got blackout drunk for the first time in forevvver. Was hanging out with Jimmy, Josh, Ian, Jack, ran around with one of josh’s friends trying to pick up chicks at a bar after smashing beers into our head and shotgunning them. I have a video lol I’ll try to upload it once I have internet. Was trying to ‘flirt with all the ASA bitties’ but got too drunk and ended up boxing someone in Josh’s friend’s basement (w/ boxing gloves) lmfao. Reminded me of middle school boxing Cory Winters and having our little fight club ring lol. Drunk snapped a bunch of people, ian drove me home, it was a great fucking night. Oh and at Josh’s friend’s I ran into one of my asian friends who I could not remember for the life of me. I wasn’t sure if he was a league friend or one of brosciouss friends or a smash friend I was just so lost, but played it off really well (as always) and did jager shots with him. Fuck. Ing. Lit. First time I felt so happy and natural to be drinking in forever, too. Even got to see brett3 for a bit. Nice to be back in chapel hill. Especially when they’re good old drinking buddies like Jack. It’s so strange that I don’t really talk to anybody else from chapel hill, but then again it really isn’t. 

The date with Brianna went pretty meh. We met up and joked around a bunch and thrift shopped and I bought a whole fuckton of new pants to ease the process of spring cleaning and two new sweatshirts so I’m not wearing fuzzy shit all the time now that it’s getting warmer. Ate at Ms. Winner’s and it was some delicious ass cheap fried chicken, might be my new go to in gboro now. But she like barely wanted to kiss me at the end of the date idk what’s up with her, I’ve kinda bailed out since she’s all preoccupied with her family anyway.

Instead ive gone back to what I call my “harem strats” You see, by chatting up as many girls as possible (right now juggling 4-5) I divert my attention and stay aloof enough that I don’t seem like a crazy fuck. Instead I’m just an asshole who’s two timing girls, but yknow fuck you stop judging me.  This girl hit me up on snapchat saying I looked cute in my story and that we should smoke sometime. With the snapchat name Smokeahontas I could’ve sworn it was Kat, so I just go along with the convo. But then I see kat has a diff username and I was like wtfff who is this lol. I didn’t ask her though, just played along and eventually remembered when she asked for my insta that it was this girl I matched with on tinder months ago that I never followed up with (like most of them), probably because I got lazy lol.  Had a sort of date with Jamie, we got some food because she was getting off work, we smoked a bit, but she was like texting the whole time and fuckin bailed out after just an episode of south park to ‘go to the beach with her roommate.’ I still have been talking to her a bunch, but Idk what the fuck is up with that, kinda whack. Super cucked by how that went. Especially because when I walked her out to her car I didn’t even get a kiss goodnight it was this weird lasting embrace like she pressed her cheek into mine to make sure I didn’t try to kiss her I guess, but still held me tight for a really long time, I was like rubbing her lower back hoping she’d like loosen up and kiss me but hooooly shit it all felt super fucking awkward. I’m hoping she’s just really conservative about dudes since she’s such a cutie, but idk. it makes me actually not give a fuck about her. I have a date tomorrow night with the other textiles girl idr if I wrote about her, but she’s cute, going to ncsu. “allergic to smoke” lol I told her I quit. (I mean I had that day before but I lied and said I did two weeks ago hahah goddamn I’m kind of a twat maybe.) Also actually got cucked by smokeahontas. It was like a situation that was too good to be true though, to be fair. She didn’t have anything to do yesterday night and wanted to hang out; when I told her I was stuck at work and said she should just smoke with me in the morning she said she actually wanted to and would stay up all night to meet up with me when I got off. Ofc she fell asleep, and when she woke up she said she wanted to go back to bed, so I flippantly said “well you could always sleep over here.” and surprisingly enough she said she was actually game for that, so our smoke and horror movie date turned into a naptime date. But an hour passed while I was eating breakfast and in the shower so I was like ‘wtf is up’ and she said she got sick and threw up. Figured I was super cucked once more by another flaker, kind of a bummed out, but not as bummed as after the dates with Jaime and Bri both went so poorly lol. Just happily told her we can try again another time, and now she’s saying she wants to do the same plan for tomorrow morning. 

So There. Is. The potential for me to get laid twice tomorrow. Pretty exciting. I haven’t told anyone that I remade plans with her though. RIGHT after I told some friends about how the nap date got planned out she said she was sick. I FUCKING swear that every time I brag about one of my dates I have lined up it falls the fuck through the floor. So I’m gonna try to never do it again. 

Then there’s this other theatre major girl I started talking to yesterday. Talked about horoscopes and transitioned from talking feminism to her (woke as fuck teens smh) into asking if she ate ass (jokingly) into asking if she wanted to hang. Turns out she’s actually a really cool super geeky chick and I’m really excited to spend time with her since she wants to show me jurassic park for the first time and learn how to play melee. Kinda weird that she’s only 18 still though O.o oh you, tyler. 

SO yeah. That’s the sitch with that. Went from supppper fucking bummed a couple days ago about my dating situation into thinking that I’m the shit again. I think I want to establish that “i’m the best” mentality once again. Because I really am. I’m fucking amazing lmao. 

Ultimately though, I’m still getting cucked left and right and I have little to no faith that I’ll find anybody I actually care about ever again but we’ll see yknow. I think that’s the strats to how I fell in love last time anyway.

hmmm. what else is there... Work in burlington is still super shitty, my commute went from an hour to like an hour and forty minutes today bc people in NC can’t drive through a little bit of fucking drizzling. 

Idk that’s about all I’ve got. Next week’s lake week so gonna have to work again in a few days after some date shenanigans and hopefully I’ve got some more good stories and shit.