#I WAS HALF ASLEEP FOR THE BEGINNING PARTS I HOPE IT DOESNT SHOW

[lefarte]

Uhhmmmm O'saa and Marcoh size kink please? If you cant do both of them, just O'saa is enough. I love you writing💙💙💙

Sure! This one is only Osaa but I got another request very similar for marcoh, so I decided to do them individually.

I wrote this with an afab reader I’m so sorry if that’s not what you wanted 💔💔

18+ ONLY!!! Please don’t read if you’re under 18 ☹️

O’saa

Your fingers were interlaced together, beginning to sweat already. His other hand held your hip steady. O’saa pressed his tip against your entrance, gently rubbing his precum into you.

“You’re a bit inexperienced,” He tilted his head. “I see.”

He pressed a little deeper, making a low grunt as his head slipped in. You could feel his warm chest pressed up against yours. Could feel the heat radiating up from your thighs as your body tried to hold out from under him. You squirmed and bucked against him, the wait becoming nearly unbearable.

“Tsk,” He clicked his tongue. “No need to rush.”

He leaned down to kiss you. His lips pressed against yours firmly. The heavy scent of sandalwood and incense overtook you. He held you close in an embrace while you to tried to rut against him as much as you could take with your little hips.

He released his lips from yours. “You must need a little help.”

“It won’t fit.” You panted.

“It will.” He held your hand. “Slowly, now… I can teach you, but you must listen carefully…”

Osaa watched in fascination as your smaller frame bent to his shape, your lips parting and your chest rising and falling quickly. He levered your hips down further, stretching yourself more and more to the halfway point. He groaned.

“You’re… very tight…” he closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. “Relax… I won’t hurt you… you can relax…”

The pressure bearing down on your walls was so heavy that your body nearly trembled from the first thrust. You could hardly process your own moans and squeals from the deep overstimulation.

“See, it’s as I told you.” He slowly pressed you into him, watching with amusement as you squirmed. “If you had just listened in the first place…”

Your hips twitched on their own. “Keep going… faster… I need it faster…”

He rolled his eyes. “Did I not tell you to relax? You are too tight.”

Seeing you wriggling and fucking yourself on him, he huffed in amusement, taking a little pity on you. He propped your legs up over his shoulders, pressed his cock in to get a firm grip, and thrusted. You cried out, pleasure hitting you in shockwaves. Every thrust made a wet sound.

“Not yet,” He grunted.

He slammed hard into you. You felt like your body was splitting in half from the size of it, pressing as deep as physically possible. He was balls deep inside of you. You were sure that if you looked down, you could see it bulging from the outside of you. You couldn’t even process what you were doing with your body anymore, it was all animal instinct. Squirming and clawing the sheets and gripping at whatever you could find stability on. You might have been drooling.

“I can’t take it,” You gasped. “I’m gonna -“

You nearly choked as your back arched, your moans getting louder without meaning to.

Just as heat overtook your face, you felt a sudden emptiness. A lack of fullness, leaving you stretched and sensitive.

Dazed, you tried to pull him back.

“Ah, you’re not getting it…” O’saa hummed. “I said not yet…”

He spread your lips to admire the inside of you. You needily tried to hump his hand, but he moved away deftly. Only barely touching it to tease you.

“I guess we’ll have to start over, from the beginning.” He put a finger inside, playing with you. “This time, try to do as you’re told. I intend to take my time.”

[drkcnry67]

Dance with me?

A/N: @obxmermaid​  this is day 15 omg thank you for the opportunity to make christmas stories this year. im honored that i can expand my writing fandoms. today we find that its before owls, before christmas feast, before their relationship was out in the open. this is the formal, this is the hogwarts winter formal. draco and Yn are not yet a public couple but this night Draco takes the courage to ask YN to dance and no one asks questions cause all cards and rivalry’s are off the table during the dance and for that day. so this is what looks like a friendly dance between a guy and a girl. but it is so much more than that.

pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

prompt: snowball fight/ winter formal

mentioning @sweetness47​

25 days of hogwarts

the yule ball, or in some cases what would be known as a winter formal is one of the most sacred events hogwarts has the honor of throwing every 2 years. its a grand event some people have their gowns and tuxes picked out months or years ahead of the event. 

but you had no gown yet for the gown you wanted was in london at a shop you had passed by so many times and the last time you did you saw a halter peacock teal floor length gown. it took your breath away. 

this was the gown you wanted but alas you had no time at that moment to get it. a few days before the ball you were watching the entire dorm obsess over their gowns, choosing hair and makeup. but you and draco hadnt even discussed going to the ball. 

or at least what would happen at the ball. but meeting draco for your session a few days before the formal, you were distracted and draco could tell.

Draco: something on your mind love.

YN: the formal is in 2 days and well we cant go as a couple no one outside of our friends know, and what if people ask questions. 

Draco: so we wont show up together but the formal is a chance for everyone to forget the rivalry’s and grudges and hard feelings are off the table. no one will ask questions if i ask you to dance. and whats better is this will be the first of many dances to come i hope. 

yn: i just wish i could walk in with you on my arm and not have to worry about a thing. 

Draco: i know what you mean but it will hopefully show the professors that even our rivalry can be put aside when it matters. 

YN: i hope so. i need a dress though. 

Draco scribbles out a quick fire message and sends it off... 

YN: what was that about...

Draco: trust me you will thank me later... just promise me you will have the time of your life at the formal besides we will dance and no one will say anything... besides i look forward to the end of the party, where you and i meet in the courtyard to just watch the stars and hide away for a kiss, all before returning to the charade and our dorms.

YN: so basically you have the entire night planned out. 

Draco: more or less yes... now go you need to have energy for tomorrow. get some rest my love. go before you fall asleep on my lap. 

YN: i guess your right, i will see you tomorrow in class... 

you walked out of the tower and back to your dorm. where you collapsed on the bed as hermione walked in. 

Hermione: so how was your tutoring tonight cuz? 

YN: it was fine... we talked about the formal... he has the entire night planned out but then i told him that i didnt have anything to wear. and before you say it cuz, its fine i mean im sure he will dance with me whether im in a pretty dress or my uniform. 

Hermione: i know we are gonna look killer at the formal or we are gonna fail trying to have a fun night. now what about your wardr... Oh My God! cuz get over here a box with a bow on it just showed up at the entrance.

you get up off the bed and run over to the entrance where Hermione was gawking at the box. 

YN: OMG what could be in such a large box... 

Hermione: well lets get it inside and happily look at this mystery package. 

YN: i think i might know who this is from... but yes lets get it inside before we do anything else with this. 

it was your own mind putting draco’s mysterious fire message with the sudden appearance of this box. the timing of it all was far too coincidential, but never the less you looked forward to whatever lay inside this box. 

You set it on your bed, you ran your fingers over the box, tracing the bow, tracing the box outline. this was when your cousin noticed an envelope on top of the box tucked under the ribbon. 

Hermione: maybe that envelope will explain better as to whats inside and possibly who its from... 

you grab the envelope and open it, its a list of what is inside the box as well as instructions. 

“this box contains the following items: - A-Line Scoop Neck Floor-Length Chiffon Prom Dresses With Beading Sequins in Ink Blue, - navy blue  Faux Fur Fashion Wrap, -a custom bracelet in rose gold, -a gold  Beautiful Rhinestone/Alloy Headband & -  Black Women's Leather Suede Heels Latin With Ankle Strap. do not open this box until the day of the formal. you will look beautiful. save me a dance or several.. love always Draco”

you sat back on the bed and smiled lightly as you tucked the box under your cousin’s bed and hid the note in your dresser, you giggled yourself to sleep that night. for you knew the next 2 days would be torture till the day of the formal anyway. 

you were the one person in this entire school who would ever take the dance not seriously. you were the only one whose heart would not allow you to fall in love with a person who did not share your heart. 

you woke the next morning to the sound of your alarm. you went to the closet and pulled out your uniform putting it on and grabbing your cloak before heading out of the room with your wand in your sock. 

YN (to self): i hope this doesnt mess up anything, tomorrow is gonna be a happy day. the next day is the formal, and I have the opportunity to show this school that even those who are rivals can become chill even in the midst of the old laws. i need to get to class so that way no one suspects anything. 

you made it to potions and smiled slightly as hermione was sitting beside your seat. draco had followed you inside. you knew that hermione could feel the happiness flowing out from you. 

You were the one person that Hermione could trust and likewise her for you. But it was now to your surprise that she passed you her notebook with a few simple words on it.

"Draco won't stop glancing at you. His pupils dilate when he stares at you. It's like he is mentally undressing you or something..."

You reply back with a simple phrase.

"he I'm sure is just removing a few layers, back to when we were in london and we went swimming in a private pool. We made out for hours. Now we will discuss this later."

you slid her back her notebook and both of you paid attention as snape decided to begin his lesson with a pop quiz type thing, you and hermione being the 2 smartest witches in the room decided to let the other students have a chance to answer the questions. 

Snape: yn tell me what is the common use of wolfsbane?

YN: wolfbane used to sedate or subdue a werewolf. it is also known as acanite or commonly found in the form of a blue flower, it is in some cases a rare find. 

Snape: and how exactly does one give wolfsbane to the werewolf?

YN: it has to be while its human, most times wolfsbane is used to snuff out the werewolves in human form before its too late. 

snape: i would like each of you to take one of these flowers and for the next class prepare to brew me some wolfsbane if you wish to pass. now before the end of class today copy down the board, we will be studying wolfsbane for the next week. 

you went to your notebook and copied down the board. it was very distracting when you knew your boyfriend was stealing glances at you...  this made it very hard to concentrate. 

you wrote a note on your notebook and slid it to your cousin... 

“im getting antsy, cuz i am really anxious...”

she replied with the typical responce.

“dont worry girl, im sure you both will have your alone time later... think about it this way, in 2 years you will be able to marry and there will be nothing anyone can say to stop you.”

you had to internally laugh...

“me married can you imagine that... god if i know much more about that than you do... by the way i am so nervous to see what is in that box... like what if it doesnt bring the correct appeal...”

you sighed as your cousin wrote her responce.

“chill girl, your gonna rock that formal... now finish your notes so you can get out of here and be with your man.”

You smiled as you finish your notes and wait for Snape to dismiss the class. You stared at the ceiling for a few moments trying to keep a cool head.

Snape: alright those who finished the notes can leave a few moments early, those who haven't you have 5 minutes to finish those notes.

You and Hermione got up and walked out of the class, you walked by where Draco was sitting you had used a slight of hand to slip him a note.

You knew he would read it after class, you also knew he would thank you for it later. But you and Hermione took off and walked back to the court yard.

Where you both parted ways you both had picked a random slot for your separate ways. You were off to the quidditch tent to prep for the upcoming Christmas match, Hermione headed to divination.

You were one of those few captains who would take half a period out of your entire day to spend it preparing for a match that was a week and a bit away.

You had to come up with a strategy that would knock your match out of the water. you could feel something strange something abnormal as you stood in the tent. 

the earth began to quake, the tent came down on your head before you could move out of the way.... you were covered in tent, and one of the tent pole was on you too heavy to move. 

you held your wand up... 

YN: periculum!

you sent the sparks and then passed out. you knew someone would possibly come find you. you had to have faith, you had too believe that one person above all others would see it. 

meanwhile, hermione had bumped into draco in the hall on the way to divination, she told draco that she last saw you in the courtyard... draco and hermione then saw the sparks. both of them went to find any professor they could cause that was the rules. 

they ended up spying mcgonigal, running up to her in a hurry they approach her with the news of the sparks. 

mcgonigal: miss granger, mr malfoy come with me we will investigate this immediately. 

the 3 of them hastely rushed toward the sparks, seeing the collapsed tent on arrival, mcgonigal waves her wand and sets the tent right, they all went inside and foudn you there after. 

mcgonigal transported herself plus you draco and hermione to the hospital wing. madame pomfry immediately got involved, she was pushing everyone back... but the only person who had to leave was minerva. 

hermione and draco now remained in the room to wait whether and when you would wake. your body had gone into a state of shock, the pole had bruised you a bit and thanks to the miracle potion that madame pomfry had administered to you, you were healing nicely. 

hermione: come on girl, come on we still have to rock this formal, come on please wake up come on cuz... we both need you to wake up. 

draco: don't you dare leave me, you can't, we haven't had any time. Come on YN wake up, open your eyes. We need to have our day in the sun! I need you to open your eyes so we can live our future together our way.

Madame pomfry heard what Draco said deciding not to say anything she just came back round to your bed side and administered a second dose of medicine.

Madame pomfry: take a bed each of you. Get some sleep, you both will be alerted first when she wakes. Try not to worry she will pull through she is a extraordinary girl.

Draco took a bed near you, Hermione took one on the other side of you. They wanted to be the first people's you saw when you woke up.

They tossed and turned but eventually both fell asleep. it was 8 hours later that an announcement rang through the school...

Minerva: attention students the quidditch field is off limits due to an investigation of recent events. someone brought the tent down on ravenclaw Yn. note that the perpetrator who is responsible if a student will be immediately expelled and sent to the ministry to await trial. we take this seriously. please be sure to make good notes for your fellow classmate as she is soon recovered in the hospital wing thanks to madame pomfry, classes go on as scheduled and the formal is still happening, thank you for your attention. 

both draco and hermione sat up a few moments after at the sound of your groans. they both looked at you in time for you to open your eyes. 

hermione: YN...

Draco: YN... your ok!

madame pomfry walked in at that moment as well to see you sit up. 

Madame Pomfry: YN your awake wonderful how are you feeling. 

YN: like i was hit by a unexpected brick wall what happened?

madame pomfry: you were found under the collapsed quidditch tent, you were brought to me bruised and unconcious. these 2 were among those who found you. you are pretty lucky you werent seriously injured. your bruising has gone down, you will stay in here for a few more hours then you can go back to your dorm. it is my recommendation that you get plenty of rest and then you go to the formal tomorrow and take it easy... your cousin will be allowed to stay with you tonight so she can make sure you get the rest you need. 

now that madame pomfry had come to see you hermione got off the cot she slept on and came to hug you... you flinched a bit but returned her embrace, Draco approached from the other side and touched your shoulder. 

hermione let go of you as she went to madame pomfry and began asking her for a written report for hermione to deliver to professor McGonagall. while both hermione and madame pomfry werent looking Draco came to sit on the edge of your bed, he smiled lightly... 

Draco: you are awake. i was so worried about you. 

 YN: strange thing is i dont recall the tent coming down. i remember being in there working on my strategy for the christmas exhibition match, when the earth shook and thats when everything went dark. i wasnt even done when everything happened. i am so sorry i worried you. 

Draco: you are such a brave girl, im very lucky to have you on my arm and by my side. i love you YN. 

YN: i love you too. now go do me a favor and take a shower and change your robes. no offense my love but you need to take a shower. 

Draco: i will take your advice... ill see you in a while. and ill have your homework... 

Draco took his leave to go take a shower and change his robes before class. he went to class but his mind was not completely there. the professors had already gathered a stack of notes for you, so while draco attended the classes he couldnt focus. that was not a good thing, especially for his grades. 

but the professors understood, for they all knew he clearly had other things going on, for at this time you and draco were out to the school. no one questioned why draco wasnt fully paying attention, they just hoped you would be okay. 

a few hours passed, hermione brought you your casual dress to get you back to the dorm. as your fellow students watched you and hermione walk back to the dorms. you smiled slightly at draco who just watched you in passing like any normal rivalry. 

the next few hours were spent with different people coming in to do different shifts of watching you, helping you, taking care of you. finally it was the tutoring time. you were told to be on bed rest, but when hermione didnt return to the dorm you figured she had arranged something. 

Draco knocked at the door before he entered. once he came into view he was entranced by how stunning you looked sitting there, with your pet cat in your lap. (*yes okay yes i realize that this is the first time i mention the reader’s pet... sue me i forgot about that part till just now.*) 

YN: hey.

Draco: i brought you the notes and stuff from classes. YN i feel so awful about what you went through i....

thats when you placed your finger to his lips this shut him up immediately.

YN: its not your fault, there was nothing you could have done. i went to the tent it was my choice. please i dont want you to blame yourself for what happened. lets just focus on the formal. now i want to thank you for the box... and before you say that it isnt from you or that you have no idea what im talking about. the magic signature on the card on the box belonged to you love.  i havent looked inside, but i know that when i show up at the formal im gonna look absolutely smashing. 

Draco: i have to use the money my father sends me somehow, so i went to the shop, and i picked everything out with the measurements that i got from hermione of course. plus it matches us a bit... anyway, here are the notes i had a few questions i knew you could help me solve. snape wants me and you to be among the first to brew the wolfsbane. he says it will be a easy task or at least for you it will be. he also said that you need to submit your formula on wolfsbane by fire message before the end of the day. 

You quickly did that as Draco said it, he looked at you with curious concern in his eyes. he stayed with you for a few hours explaining what happened in the classes you missed. handing you the assignments, letting you explain what he didnt understand. 

*TIME SKIP: the rest of that evening went by pretty quick, you spent time tutoring Draco, who left when your cousin walked back into the room. you were now spending time chattering with her over the hair styles for the formal the next day. well you and hermione got an early sleep for the next day would sure be a busy one. now we go to the showers where you have just arrived to stretch out and begin your day.*

you were in your stall, mulling things over under the hot water. your brain swimming with thousands of thoughts, ones that made you begin humming, something you do quite often and in different situations you hum different songs. in this case it was something celtic something haunting some sort of ancient melody that haunts your very soul.

your hum echoed through the castle. no one could figure out where the sound was coming from except your cousin. for she had heard you hum that tune many numerous times before. 

Hermione: so you thinking again?

you snapped out of your hum, for you had not realized that another person could have walked into the room, never mind your own cousin. 

YN: just got some butterflies about tonight... H what if this doesnt go the way we think it will... 

Hermione: well cuz if you think about it this way, people will expect the rivalry to still take place during the event no one will expect the rivalry to be non existant during the event. to see 2 people who arent normally friends acting like friends even if for one night will do us all proud. now hurry up so we can go open the box to see what your man gave you... 

YN: ah yes thank you for reminding me cuz, thank you for giving draco the information he needed to get these things for me.. i appreciate it a ton. 

Hermione: no to worry cuz you are gonna look beautiful. now hurry up or you will look like a prune... 

 you finished cleaning up, you dryed off and wrapped up in your housecoat to go back to your dorm. twas the only way you were comfortable. your cousin right beside you both of you discussing your hair and what the hell you would do with it. 

Hermione  and you now sat in your dorm and just stared at the box between you both, the blue box that had tormented you for 2 days now sat between you ready for the unveiling of what lay inside. 

you removed the note and slowly undid the ribbon binding the box shut. you reached down to ope the lid, the first thing you saw was the dress, picking it up you stood spinning around holding the dress against your form.

YN: remind me to thank him for this...

hermione: oh im sure just wearing this tonight will thank him enough for this. now come on lets see what else is in here… 

you lay the dress over your cousins lap as you reach into the box and pull out a fashion wrap…

YN: isnt this basically just a cape?

Hermione: yes it is but we dont speak of that… lol it is nice and it looks like it goes in matching with the dress. 

you lay that as well over your cousins lap and pull out a small bag.

YN: wnder what this is…

Hermone: well it must be valuable in order to require its own packaging inside of packaging, 

you ope the baggie to reveal a custom bracelet. 

Hermione: ive seen those before, you can get it engraved with whatevr you want particularly used for couples. 

you flip it over and look at the enraving, “Yn & Draco always and forever 08-22”

you smiled ear to ear, little giggles left your lips, happily of course as you attached the bracelet to your wrist. once it was attached you reached into the box to pull out the next item again another baggie a bit bigger than the last. you opened it to reveal a gold headband. 

YN: so he is gona treat me like a queen

Hermione: at least i dont have to worry about you. 

YN: but you still will anyway cause thats just how you are cuz!

hermione: come on girl whats the last thing in the box.

You reach into the box and pull out a pair of leather strap short heals and smile. 

Hermione: lets become fabulous. cause we all know thats a crime in itself but we have 5 hours before we have to be there for presentations and plus the rivals have the first dance as is in the announcement this year. 

you had forgotten that the ministry had made that announcement… since fudge was supposed to make an appearance at the dance. He wanted to see the rivals of the school have the honor of first dance. It was a new tradition and would remain so for generations to come. 

First was to get dressed. You went behind the change cover, you put on your strapless and a nice pair of seamless bottoms. You were now ready for the dress, but you realized that there was a bra built into the dress already. Well at least into one part of it. ****A/N: yes i know that this wasnt mentioned but the dress that im describing is a two piece, it was one i had done my research on and liked the way it looked in the color scheme i was using for this story. Okay back to the story.****

You removed your strapless as now you knew you didnt need it. You pulled on the skirt fiestas to make sure that you were good in that department. You kinda did a half twirl and then put on the top, well you couldnt do it up as the zipper was at the back. 

YN: hey cuz, can you zip me up?

Hermione: a zipper… how does it look 

YN: its a 2 piece… its in my house color, its soft fabric it feels soft against my skin. 

Hermione: well come out and hold yourself in place. 

You stepped out from behind the shield and watched your cousin turn around in her dress. You both squealed in happiness for it made you both happy to know that you both looked amazing! Hermione did your top up and both of you stood side by side in the mirror.  

Hermione: cuz we need to photo shoot this in the mirror, we are still sure of this plan, we are so certain that this is the night the school will accept the possibility of a union between you and draco. I mean when are you guys planning to tell everyone about your relationship anyway. 

YN: no idea, it hasnt been discussed to much, we know we need to tell everyone we just dont know when or how. But when we do it will be a big event. Alright on a different note ive set the mirror to do the photo shoot of us its taking 5 very precisely timed shots. So lets wing it. Nice one first so we can duplicate it and send it to our folks then we go from there. 

Pose 1: normal, side by side and looking your best. 

Pose 2: charlies angels, missing an angel but smiling anyway

Pose 3: the shocked first look in outfit (hermione shocked at seeing you)

Pose 4: parting the sea, back to back looking away

Pose 5: and finally the hug it out moment

You went round to the window to stare down at the world, the school looked all decorated for the formal and the sound of people gathering around the grounds, the concorse full of people and visitors. You strapped on your shoes and your cousin finished your hair and applied your wrap. 

you wondered how the night would look, you wondered if anyone would question the less amounts of tension between you and Draco.

You wondered alot of things but a knock at the door brought you back to earth. You turned to see Harry and Ron standing at the door. 

Harry: wow, ladies you both look amazing! 

You and Hermione smile as Harry hands you something from minerva

Yn: it's professor McGonagall she wants to see me, says it's of great importance. 

Hermione: that's okay I'll walk down with the boys. Go go… 

You walk out of the room and go as fast as possible without tripping and falling to where you knew the professor would be. 

Minerva: ah YN you look lovely..  

Yn: thank you professor, I got your note you wanted to see me. 

Minerva: yes as you may have heard by now this year the Minister of magic is attending the formal as a honored guest, he has requested that you and Mr malfoy be honored guests as your rivalry is legendary as well as you and Mr malfoy will be receiving something special from the minister. He wants to commend you both on jobs well done this year. Your main task for the dance is to start the dancing off, now i know that you are a little sensitive YN so if you need a minute to process this before we make the announcement and before your fellow classmates begin to gather. 

YN: ya could i actually have a minute… where do i enter from?

Minerva: you will enter from the right side of the staircase, mr malfoy will enter from the left, just be there and ready for the announcement. 

You went round to the right side of the staircase and began pacing, letting your brain sort itself out to be able to go out there and not kiss Draco in front of everyone. 

To not run straight into his arms, to be able to just be a boy and a girl with no connection other than their rivalry for one night. 

That Un be known to you would be the case on this night you would be just a girl, and Draco would just be a boy who would be spending time together during the formal. 

Draco (to self): OK tonight can not go wrong, it's just one night to be just a boy and just a girl. I know she is probably nervous but she will be her normal brilliant self, i will be charming and pleasant and this evening will take the rivalship between me and YN to an 11. I hope she isnt overthinking things. 

You on the other side of things were overthinking everything that could go right and everything that could go wrong. You were also talking to yourself and pacing and borderline freak out. 

YN(to self): i cant do this, i can do this… what am i saying tonight is gonna go horrible… something is gonna mess this night up and screw up the entire eco system that is a almost 2 year secret… i wonder what it would be like if draco and i were out to the school and the public eye as a couple… what am i saying that would be a disaster. The ministry, the school, my parents, his parents, our friends, everyone would reject us… we would end up living as muggles for the rest of our lives, we would be exiled from the wizard records, we would have our legacy dragged through the dirt or worse. 

That's when you heard Dracos voice in the wind. 

Draco: don't stress babe, I'll be right by your side the entire time, trust me babe… Then we will happily go outside for some air later. Now let's get ready… and don't worry about a thing love. 

Thats when you had calmed down a bit more, and listened to mcgonigal speak.

Minerva: settle down everyone, before we all enter the great hall, it gives me great pleasure to introduce 2 people who im sure need no introduction, their rivalry is legendary amongst the entire student body. The minister himself asked that these 2 be given a very special entrance, ladies and gentlemen to kick off tonights winter formal i proudly present YN and Draco.

That was yours and Dracos cues to walk out from cover and down the stairs. All eyes were on the 2 of you as you both united in the center between the 2 staircases. 

Draco: in all my years at hogwarts never have I ever been so lucky in all I do, for my rival and I we know that we will make hogwarts proud in all we do and one day who knows maybe we will end up teaching here as well one day. But our rivalry won't end with graduation or parting for one final time. You all shall hear of our rivalry far and wide as we continue the rivalry even outside of hogwarts. Sorry for the speech slur but I figured on behalf of all of us we should make a statement. 

Draco then held his arm for you to take. That you did and both of you walked the rest of the steps together, the only person who you both stopped to acknowledge was the minister. 

Fudge: in all my time as minister for magic, i have never seen 2 people who just go from rivals one minute to just pleasant normal students, almost like the bond of your rivalry has brought you both closer together. Tell me YN did you ever see yourself and mr malfoy here being friends maybe. 

YN: i honestly can say no i have not seen that possibility but there is an ever changing future and i look forward to seeing what it may hold, if per chance one day this rivalry of ours becomes obsolete we will im sure become the best of friends, as long as that would be viewed as a good thing in the eyes of the ministry of course. 

Fudge: friendship is never an issue… now let the formal commence, music… 

You and draco walk onto the dancefloor, you both had not danced outside of the astronomy tower before you both were unsure of how to act. 

Draco placed one hand on your waist and one hand on your hand. The music started and you both began to move with the music, but no one would be able to hear your conversation….

Draco: you look wonderful tonight…

YN: thank you, i mean it wasnt hard to figure out who sent these wonderful items, but that was also a given considering we talk one minute about the formal and the fact i didnt have anything to wear and the next minute there is a mysterious box with a note saying that the dress and stuff was in the box made me smile. I figured it out when i saw the box, before i read the note. 

Draco: was it that obvious?

YN: yes it was but thats ok, cause i know that tonight we arent rivals, we are just 2 people who happen to be a big part of the school and its events. I honestly didnt know that this was what we had to do till i got mcgonigals note. 

Draco: well tonight will be special i promise. 

YN: ill hold you to it. 

Draco just smiled as more people joined you on the dancefloor, after a few songs you and Draco went to get something to drink. You both picked a table and sat down beside eachother, so as to have a civizled conversation. 

Draco: any plans to go home for break?

YN: nope, as far as my parents are concerned i am staying at the school and just helping minerva… its not like i have much at home anyway. I mean sure my parents are there and they love me but i dont want to go home, see my parents start getting back into my home life routine and then have to come back to hogwarts… its just too hard. Thats why i stopped going home for break, thats why i stay here and help the professors keep the school over break. 

Draco: well what would you say if i stay here as well over break… think of it as we are on one continuous date for 2 weeks. 

YN: now that i would enjoy. But i think we should tell the school… somehow… someway… but we shouldnt wait too much longer, we dont know what the consequences will be… 

Draco: i know you are right… i…

Just as he was about to speak again the minister came up to both of you pulling up a seat beside you… 

Cornielious: having a good time tonight…

YN: yes we are minister thank you… we were just discussing what the tutoring schedule will look like over the next bit before our owls and winter break. 

Draco: are you having a good time minister?

Cornielious: its like nothing has changed at hogwarts, this party is fantastic, it is a good time, it also gives me a break from my work at the ministry.. Oh YN your mom and dad said to say hi… i have them checking into a few strange occurrences for magic bursts. 

YN: well you certainly picked the right people for the job, i know my parents well enough to know that they wont quit a case if there are no leads… as my mom always the hardest case is the easiest case for the answer is staring you in the face. 

All 3 of you start laughing as the music changes again and one student exclaims…

Student A: its snowing!!!

All the students  continued to dance as the music changed to more slow songs, you and draco decided to try to slow dance again. But no one would have predicted the scene that would happen about quarter way into the dance. 

You were having a small convo with draco and he decided to kiss you on the cheek. No one else noticed, your cousin however smart and brilliant for she non vocally slowed time a bit to the point of you and draco could recover and pretend that it didnt happen.

But a few students and teachers noticed… this made you go bright red, you backed away from Draco and turned to run through the crowd, grabbing your cape and going out the doors down the stairs and into the rose garden. 

Time resumed but no one said anything, all they saw was you running out of the great hall and draco standing in the center of the dance floor. Hermione started to move toward the door but saw draco run after you… he realized he made a mistake. She went to explain to the professors what happened and the dance was resumed. 

Draco followed your footprints and got into the maze… he located you in the center of the maze, he was very careful to approach. But you were already aware that he had followed you. 

YN: no need to be cautious, i know you are there…

Draco came fully round the corner and became visible as he appeared in front of you. 

Draco: im so sorry about that in there love. It was… well i just…. I mean… 

YN: its okay i understand what happened… heat of the moment and all. But as my cousin has told me telepathically of course is that she has spoken to those who saw this happen and she told them that it was nothing special. It was just a simple slip of the moment. But she harry ron and crab and goyle all know the truth… one day we will tell the rest of the students and the professors but for now…

Thats when he threw a snowball at you… well now he had started something, this fight went on for a few moments before you realized that he was close enough to you & that you guys were still alone and that no one would know if you shared a moment under the falling snow… 

YN: tonight just being normal was amazing! Thank you so much for this… 

Draco: there is one more thing i feel like we should do… one thing that we are gonna do to remember this moment, how we looked on the floor and for anyone that wants a memory of tonight, i know i will and i know our friends will but we also need to start making memories for our children to see one day… so here is one for the history books...

You didnt have time to respond before he kissed you. the snow falling on your faces and the calm night air made this night even better to just be there together. 

~to be continued~

[katsukikitten]

Irritated 4

A/N lol opps I wrote another part I hope you all enjoy this while it lasts. Tehe (insert evil face here)

Bakugou swipes at the steamy mirror wishing his shower could have been hotter.

Hot enough to burn his skin and bring him back to reality. He tongues his cheek as he stares at his reflection. Thinking of the chopsticks, of admitting to thousands of people that he actually LOVED your shitty coffee order that he drank to spite you.

And of your soft body pressed against his as you reached for his wallet. Sure he had pinned you and you had pinned him plenty of times in real anger fueled fist fights.

But that's exactly what they were. Tension come to a head and released the only way the two of you knew how. Talking with a fist was much more honest and effective than any word uttered.

So why were you clinging to him when you came back from the bathroom, sans cup that you needed soooo badly. Why were you wearing such shifty eyes so suddenly when you were fine before? And why were you holding yourself back at the restaurant? Did the waiter dare say something to you? Look at your chest too long? If he had why did you just let it go?

But most importantly why did Bakugou care?

He gives his reflection a grimace before walking into the dimly lit bedroom. Clicking his tongue when he sees your pillow placed on the bed, he rolls his eyes at how the security guard placed it.

Lewd side up with your suit ripped in the stupidest places to reveal more.

He would rip it right down the middle, fucking the zipper up so you couldn't hide from him before deleicatly, so agonizingly slow, sliding it down those broad shoulders to reveal those fat tits.

Wait what the hell was he thinking? Explosions pop on steady fingers as he thinks of destroying the stupid thing.

But then how would he torture you with it?

He shoves it off the bed before rooting around his bag for a pair of black boxer briefs. The kind that hug his ass and thighs nicely, leaving little to imagination on his size.

Movement catches his eye from the balcony and he presses himself into the shadows as best he can. The cool, textured wall further agitates the itch in his hands to ignite. He moves towards the door as he makes out a figure sitting in one of the cheap chairs on HIS balcony.

He bares his teeth as your ill will echoes through his head.

*"I hope you get stalked."*

Was that why you were constantly looking over your shoulder?

Right now it doesn't matter. He is thankful the figure cannot see him as he approaches the glass sliding door. He flings it open, hand erupting in pops causing the figure to jump and turn with lightning speed before floating mid air.

Eyes glowing faintly as they are fixated on his shirtless body.

It takes him milliseconds to figure out it is you.

You clad in hardly anything, your belly button ring catches the light pulling him back to the here and now. Reminding him that you might be displaying your ass for the world.

And not showing your ass with your damn attitude like you normally did. He grips onto your arm tightly pulling you harshly into his chest.

You want to yell but again the faint smell of buttery sugar and spices causing the bubbling anger to stop rising.

"Baka some fans know this is our hotel." He growls, squeezing you for a moment, "The internet can see your ass when *you* post it. Not when some random beta's try taking grainy pictures of it."

You don't say anything as you sink into his touch for a moment because in those quickly ticking seconds you feel normal....safe.

"What are you doing on my balcony?" He asks darkly and you push him away, slipping past his arms and into his hotel room.

"Let's watch a movie Kaachan!" You sing song, offering the best smile you can as you avoid the topic, "Deku was already asleep."

The lie leaves your lips with ease and he does not notice. Although you do notice his slight blush and he does notice your negligence to answer his question.

You plop on the couch curling into the corner as if you nether of you were half dressed as he sits furthest from you that he can. Flipping through the channels waiting for you to whine to stop and when you don't he steals a glance at you.

You're staring at the TV but it looks more to him as if you're staring through it. Nails digging into the couch as he watches everything within a foot radius around you float centimeters above their surface.

What the fuck was bothering you so badly?

A thump at your door and voices outside startle you and the items come crashing down, your cheeks burn.

"Oi. What the fuck are they doing outside?" Bakugou snarls as he goes to stand. You grab for his wrist looking up at him with pleading eyes.

Eyes that he meets with slits before ripping his hand free.

"If we're gonna watch a movie its gonna be quiet in the fucking hall. Now you pick little one." He snarls tossing the remote onto the cushion that was between you two. You hastily grab for it muting the TV as the plastic rectagle in your hand groans from the pressure of your vice grip.

Bakugou opens the door without a second thought despite his lack of clothes. He spots a man with green eyes staring at your door until the numbers burn into his retinas.

Bakugou doesnt miss him deactivating his quirk although the man thinks he is keeping it hidden by angling his body just so. Red eyes watch pale flesh pulling back into itsself forming a solid hand once more.

"Oi, what are you doing?" His voice comes out dark and for a second the green eyed man looks a little less deranged and a little more scared.

Bakugou studies his face, committing the slope of his nose, the width of his eyes, and the small scar on his upper lip to memory and wondering if he's seen it before.

And where he had seen it before? A villain database? A B rated wanted poster?

No he clearly couldn't use his quirk well enough to keep it hidden and his quirk seemed more creepy than harmful.

Still Katsuki did not like him standing in front of your door with eyes that gleamed in the dull light of the hall. Katuki grips the door jamb, the wood whines from the force as he tries to keep himself in check.

"Are you fucking deaf? What are you doing here?"

The man blinks rapidly before offering a smile that looks off. His lips twitching as if he cannot do it properly.

"Have you seen Tejina? I want to give her this. She left it." He says as he rummages through his bag further putting Katsuki on edge. He let's the adrenaline heat his skin as sweat begins to form in his palm, waiting and willing to combust on command.

The man produces a pastel purple cup, with a relaxed Aizawa in an oversized knit sweater holding a sleepy cat. Their expressions eerily similar with MOOD in bold capitalized letters. Scalet eyes narrow, so she had bought it.

Why leave it? Was this guy there?

Bakugou snatches the cup, teeth bared as he speaks again. Who was this asshole?

"I'll give it to her. Now leave before I put you in the hospital. Got it?" Malice radiates off the ash blonde in waves as he thinks of this creep getting to close to you.

Suddenly his demeanor changes as he holds eye contact with Katsuki.

"That's not how a hero should speak." You hear the phrase from the couch causing your blood to run cold. This could be it. This could be game over for Bakugou's career like it almost was for you just a short while ago.

Explosions litter Katsuki's skin as his voice dips so low your stomach clenches with worry.

With fear.

"I don't give a fuck how a hero should speak. I just know how one should act. Now stop hovering around her fucking door before the coroner comes to haul your ass out of here."

"You talk as if she is yours." The man seemingly unphased by Bakugou's most deadly tone.

"So what if she is fucking mine?" Some how an even deadly tone slips out, more violent explosions appear on his skin as he steps into the hall. This time the man swallows thickly, eyes darting as if torn.

Torn between the love he has for you and the hatred he has for this Ground Zero who had his meat head paws sullen your angelic skin. He turns on his heel without a word as he makes his way for the stairwell.

Your heart thuds in your chest as Bakugou returns.

"Your cup." He growls, giving you a pointed look as he sets it on the coffee table.

"T..th.." You clear your throat, "Thank you Bakugou."

He watches from his end of the couch with his head in his hand before hissing out.

"The sooner you pick a movie. The sooner you can get the fuck out."

Bakugou speaks to you like this all time.

So why does it feel like he took a knife to your chest just now. As if he pushed it hilt deep, your breathing hitches. Still you nod as you flip through some channels before finding an old movie from your childhood.

One you used to watch with your grandmother. Comfort slowly fills your chest and you relax into the couch.

That is until you hear thumping, stomping feet and an obnoxious amount of noise before drunken laughing rings out.

You shake without realizing it as if you were a dog hiding in a corner, so unused to people and your master was throwing a party on the forth of July.

Your movement catches blood red eyes. Deft eyes that know that your movements are from fear, yet he still pulls the comforter off of the bed.

"Wha..what are you...?"

"You're cold dumbass." He growls, pulling you onto the cushion next to him fluffing the blanket for the two of you. He pulls it to your shoulders and tucks it this way and that so it does not move before he covers his lap. Resting his jaw onto a bored hand.

You stare, astounded as you look at this much more complicated man than you thought before his eyes dart to you out of the corner of his eye.

"Movie is that way baka." Before a mischievously cocky smirk pulls at his lips, "That is unless you cant keep your eyes off of me in all my glory."

Your cheeks flush before you HMPH as loud as and as dramatic as you can

"Fucking as if!" You hiss. Crossing your arms as you go back to the movie.

With each passing of familiar scene exhaustion begins to weigh heavy on your body.

Your eye lids especially, reminding you of how heavy your head is. You slump, uncaring of your posture as you lean your head against a sculpted but surprisingly soft shoulder.

Bakugou glares at you, quickly slowing his irritated OI! that was clawing up his throat when he sees how relaxed you look.

How *cute* you look. Tucking your feet and really snuggling into him feigning watching the movie as you fight sleep. He sighs, admitting defeat that somethings he cannot fight. Deku's words ring in his head before he bares his teeth.

*"...Shes had a long day."*

And it shows as you fall victim to sleep a lot faster than he thought you would. He leaves you for the remainder of the movie before gently scooping you up, your protest with a groan while your arms give you away. Wrapping tightly around him causing his heart to beat irraticlly, especially so when you nuzzle into his neck with a smile.

He brings you to the bed, comforter and all, lying you down gently. He figured the two of you could switch rooms or at the very least he could take the couch but there was just one little problem.

You wouldn't fucking let go. Even as strong arms pushed against yours you wouldn't budge. He is about to use lethal force until a subtle glow settles over his arms and your hands. Your eyes flutter open just a bit and when he meets them he feels as if his heart was ripped out of his chest. An odd weight settles in his stomach as he drinks you in.

Your eyes are so...so sad looking, as tears begin to well in them even in your mostly asleep state, your plump lips pulled southward in an undying frown.

"Stay." You whisper so lowly he could barely hear you. He scoffs, opening his mouth to retort and tell you that you're half asleep and must be dreaming of an ex. That is until you repeat yourself to him. Voice cracking

"Please stay Katsuki."

His heart races as his cheeks BURN. No one has ever said his name so tenderly before. Sure he has had plenty of past lovers and one nightstands but not a soul has come close to the reaction he has had to your three word sentence.

And who is he to deny a woman in need? A strong woman that is clearly having a very rare, vulnerable moment. A moment she is trusting him with. You are trusting him with.

He sucks his teeth and even half asleep you know he is going to stay. You're more reassured by his decision as he keeps one hand on your bare skin at all times as he whispers complaints, fixing the blanket you are "hogging for kami's sake" as you fade in and out. All before that strong arm wraps around you and pulls your back to his chest.

You sigh, letting sleep fully blanket you as buttery sugar and spices lulls you into a deep sleep.

My loves as per your request @casterixe @ha-tep

@thenezuko

thenezuko tumblr wont let me tag you love :(

[promptis-imagines]

For some reason I think that the first time they went into battle together .Noct spent half the fight trying to protect Prom and almost wiped out because of it. Causing Prom to feel like Noct doesnt trust him enough to protect Noct

I can absolutely see things happening along that line. 

Prom joined the crownsguard so he could be by Noct’s side and protect him, show him that he’s all in and he wants his best friend to be okay. He went through all that just so he could do his part and show that he cares. 

So it hurts when they start their journey and go into action just for all of his actions to be stifled by Noct’s reckless abandon. At first he thinks that Noct is simply trying to go a little too hard in the battle, trying to prove himself or whatnot, but it becomes apparent pretty quickly that every hit he takes is to bar Prompto from the same fate. And it really isn’t fair that the one he’s trying to protect so much is refusing to let him do the job he’s worked so hard to do.

Actually you know what lemme just—

x

It hadn’t been long since their first encounter with a daemon. They were travelling at night, pushing forward in the Regalia on the prince’s insistence that they find a more suitable shelter for the night than a tent, when the huge beast had reared its ugly head to effectively block their path.

The ensuing battle was somewhat of a rude awakening for most of the group. Prompto, however, was geared up and ready for his first real shot at proving that he could protect the prince, that he wasn’t just dead weight on this trip; he wanted to prove that he was useful. 

But that opportunity was continually snatched away from him. Every time Prompto took aim, Noctis warped forward and plunged a sword into the target. Every time he stood his ground to parry an attack, Noctis was right there to knock him aside and deal with it himself. 

At first, Prompto assumed that Noctis was feeling the same way as him; he probably just wanted to show his skills in the real event. The thing was, his method was way too reckless, which Prompto thought would earn them a lecture from Ignis and Gladio about team dynamics. That thought helped to stifle Prompto’s frustration in the beginning. He didn’t want to believe that his best friend would intentionally bar him from playing his part.

It was when Noctis collapsed from a nasty hit that Prompto began to have other ideas.

Immediately after the beast fell, the other three were beside him, pulling out curatives and tending to the fallen prince. Prompto had shoved himself between Noctis and the ground, holding him partway in his lap while Ignis broke a potion over him.

Prompto thanked the gods that it seemed to do the trick. Even still, Noctis appeared ready to collapse again at any given moment. He supposed curatives could only do so much.

“Let’s continue to our destination. He’ll be better after a good night’s rest,” Ignis stated, already beginning to direct everyone back to the Regalia. 

Gladio helped Noctis to his feet with not as much care as Prompto would’ve hoped. Noctis made a soft groan in response, and Prompto bit his lip before rushing back to his side. “I got you, buddy,” he whispered, one arm anchored firmly around his best friend’s back.

The rest of the car ride hadn’t been nearly as eventful. Prompto rode in the back with Noctis nearly asleep against him, Ignis and Gladio took up the front seats, and there was virtually no talking. It made Prompto very aware of the lump in his throat.

Now they were finally checked into a small motel, and still, few words had been exchanged. Everyone looked tired, especially Noctis. 

All the while, Prompto’s mind had been racing with thoughts of what to say about the events that had just transpired. He knew that it hadn’t been an accident—Noctis had intentionally taken that hit in his place. Why? Sure, he was okay in the end, but what if he hadn’t been? This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go.

Ignis and Gladio took one room while Prompto and Noctis took the other. Prompto trudged inside, ready to fall straight into bed, but Noctis beat him to it. He sighed, opting to sit on the edge instead. They would probably take a bit to relax before showering.

The itchy fabric of the blanket under him had a few snagged threads near Prompto’s thigh. They felt like a good place to steer his attention, so he busied himself toying with them.

That is, until he was finally called out. 

He hadn’t even noticed the shift on the bed until Noctis was sitting beside and a little behind him. Prompto was hoping they could brush off this conversation this time and go to bed, but Noctis was already prodding at his shoulder.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked. The usual impartial tone he sported was gone, replaced with the gentle concern he only really used when the two of them were alone.

Prompto bit his lip and stopped fiddling with the threads. After a brief debate about how he should answer, he spoke up quietly. “It’s...what happened earlier.”

A familiar warmth pressed close to his back, and soon Noctis’ head was on Prompto’s shoulder. He tried not to think about how they shouldn't be this close. “I’m fine, now. Promise. You don’t need to worry about me,” Noctis said.

It was supposed to sound reassuring, but Prompto’s irritation only began to bubble up. “That’s not what I’m trying to say. I mean, of course I’m glad you’re okay, but I just...” The tension in his shoulders wasn’t going away. “I’m upset,” he hissed. 

Noctis lifted his head, though he didn’t move away. “Oh. I think I get what you’re saying.” A long sigh fell from his lips, his hand rubbing along Prompto’s arm.

“You know, nobody is gonna fault you for going back home. It’s okay if you changed your mind about all this.”

Prompto all but fell off the bed. "What?" he exclaimed, whipping around to face Noctis with wide eyes. "You're joking, right?"

There was nothing but seriousness in Noctis' expression. "No, I'm not. I'm telling you right now that you still have an out. We can turn back around and drop you off at the wall. Hell, I'd even be up for renting chocobos if you want to ride back together. One last fun thing before…everything else." The way he spoke…he really was being serious.

Despite himself, Prompto felt his chest begin to constrict with short, mirthless laughs. "Oh, gods," he mumbled, burying his face in his palm for a few long moments. "So that's it. I was right. You see me as some kind of weak joke. That's really great news." He turned away. The lump in his throat was almost unbearable now.

"What are you talking about?" A hand fell on his shoulder, dragging his attention back to Noctis, whose eyes had narrowed.

Prompto shrugged off the touch. "What do you mean, 'what am I talking about?' You took every hit for me out there. You wouldn't let me do my job, and you got hurt in the process. That's not okay, Noct! You're too important for that," he stressed.

Irritation that had been building up since the fight was rushing through Prompto's head, making him want to pull his hair out. Instead, he got to his feet and began pacing at the foot of the bed. Noctis had started to stumble for words, but Prompto cut him off. "I'm not done," he stated firmly. "Before we left for this trip, I took a vow to protect you. I trained, and I worked so stupid hard to get here, to stay by your side when you needed it. And I know you had some reservations about that. But this is what I wanted, so you eventually let it go. But…" His shoes scuffed the ground as he stopped pacing. "But you didn't let it go, did you? You're still trying to get rid of me."

"That's really not what's going on here," Noctis countered. By now he was standing, too.

"No? Then why wouldn't you let me protect you today? Why is it that every time I try to help you out, you feel the need to stop me? Why did you jump at the chance to tell me I should leave?" Feeling the pressure build up behind his eyes, Prompto gripped the end of the bed until his knuckles went white. "You don't have to answer. I know why." He finally met Noctis' eyes again, and that's when the tears began to fall. "You don't trust me," he said quietly.

Finally, Noctis had his chance to speak, but he didn't right away. He looked shocked, and he obviously didn't know what to say. Prompto sniffled a bit and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. This was so pathetic. After giving that whole speech about not wanting to be perceived as a weakling, he was crying. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm too weak for this and I'll just slow you guys down. Is that why you're doing this?" he murmured.

Noctis took a tentative step forward. When Prompto didn't react, he took another. "It…it's not that I don't trust you. I don't want you to think that," he choked out. He sounded as pathetic as Prompto felt.

It took a moment, but Prompto pressed forward again. "Then why are you doing things that make me feel that way?" His words were less irritated before, but just as hurt. "I know we had to break things off because of you and Luna, and I won't pretend it doesn't still hurt. Do you think I'm gonna try and sabotage the wedding or something? B-Because I made a promise, Noct, that even if I couldn't be with you, I would do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy because—"

"Prom."

The stern tone of Noctis' words shut him up. The prince's hands were on his burning cheeks before he could process, forcing him to keep eye contact. He didn't want to admit it, but this direct connection, the first they'd shared in a while, was sending Prompto's poor heart into a frenzy.

Once he'd visually calmed down, Noctis went on. "Okay, you got me. Yes, I did all of that today to keep you out of it as much as possible," he admitted. Teeth scraped his bottom lip briefly before he spoke again. "But it's not because I don't trust you to protect me; I've seen your skills in action, and I know you're capable. It's that I don't want you to."

This time it was Prompto who wore the confusion. "Wh…what? Why?" His question was tinged with hurt.

The thumb on Prompto's cheek gently brushed along his skin. It felt nice. "Really? You can't tell what's going on here?" Noctis asked. Prompto was just glad he didn't sound accusatory.

 When he didn't receive an answer, Noctis sighed. "Prom, I trust you. I value you more than anything, and I know you'll do whatever it takes to get this done. That's the reason I was trying to make you go home. You're too damn determined to protect me."

 Prompto's brow furrowed. "Isn't that a good thing?"

 "In theory, yeah," Noctis said, "but we can't predict this situation. If you see me as more important, then you're going to put your life on the line for me if something happens. When I saw that daemon lunge for you, all I could see were images of you dying in my place, and it scared me so much. I just…I can't have that. I'm not worth more than you." His hands were still on Prompto's cheeks. Neither of them made a move to stop it yet.

 "But you kind of are," Prompto whispered. "You're important to the whole world. You have so much you're going to do. That's more than I'm destined for, for sure."

 Noctis' hold finally relaxed, and his hands dropped to Prompto's shoulders. That sad, serious look never left him. "Not to me. You're everything to me," he muttered. "You've been so focused on making sure I'm happy, you aren't letting me do the same for you. I know you want things, there's no way you can—"

 "I want you, Noct," Prompto interrupted. "But I can't have you. And I have to accept that. So please, don't make this harder than it already is. I can hardly bear it." Another tear trailed down his cheek. He placed a hand over Noctis'. "Let me protect you until I can't. That's the next best thing for me. Please, Noct," he finished. He wanted this to be final. He wanted so much, but right now, he wanted Noctis to settle for this option.

 He heard Noctis' breath hitch, saw the hesitation in the twitch of his lips. This wasn't easy for either of them. "I don't want to lose you," he finally said with a tremble in his voice.

 The tiniest smile touched Prompto's lips. "I'm right here, aren't I? But I don't want to lose you, either. That means no more throwing yourself in front of me like you kept doing today," he warned.

 Noctis' shoulders sagged. "You can't tell me that if you plan on doing the same thing later."

 "Well…" He wanted to argue, but that had sort of been his plan from the beginning. "We could go back and forth on this all night. I have my stance, and you have yours," he stated. It didn't matter what Noctis thought; one of their lives was more valuable in the grand scheme of things.

 The grip on his shoulder tightened slightly. "So I should just settle for yours?" Noctis returned.

 Prompto nodded. "I think you should. Because just this once, I'm taking a stand. I'm not settling for yours."

 There was another tense pause. Noctis seemed to physically deflate as his hands fell to his sides once more. "I'm sorry. I still don't think I should be putting you through this. Not after you already gave up so much." A short huff passed his lips. "Why did you have to be so damn stubborn?"

 Somehow, Prompto managed another quiet laugh. "Guess you chose a terrible best friend," he commented with a slight wave of his hand.

 With a slight shake of his head, Noctis cast his gaze to the floor. "No, I chose the most amazing one. And I let go of the best boyfriend," he murmured.

 Prompto bit the inside of his cheek, the fun moment fading. "Noct…we talked about this before the trip. It's okay," he spoke softly, though he couldn't contain the slight crack in his voice as he said it. None of this way okay. It was necessary. The situation was out of their hands; just a bad hand that was dealt to them.

 They probably shouldn't have shared a room, after all, but they had been too tired to think that through. Because when Noctis took Prompto's hand right there, standing in this dingy motel, Prompto felt the pain in his heart cry out.

 "Can we sit back down?" Noctis asked.

 After a silent nod from Prompto, the pair returned to the edge of the bed. They sat side by side, still holding onto each other's hand like a lifeline between them. Both of them had their heads down.

 "I'm just gonna say it. I don't think I can go through with this."

 It was Prompto who looked to Noctis first. "What?"

 Noctis rubbed his thumb along the other's hand. "My marriage with Luna. I can't do it," he reiterated.

 Prompto's mouth fell dumbly open for a few moments before he shook it off. "B-But…don't you have to? You can't just throw all of that away, can you?" Of course, with the drastic change of plans that were seemingly everywhere, maybe that wasn't the case anymore.

 "I can try," Noctis continued. "We were supposed to be married for the sake of peace, but the Niffs already don't seem to be treating that pact seriously. If I just stop this mess, get through to the end." He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. "Our countries can find some other way to bridge the gap and mend all of this. But I have to call off the wedding," he stated.

 "Wait a second," Prompto interjected. "Don't go that far until you've thought it through. What about all the good that could come from being with her? There's all those political advantages, and-and she's really pretty, and I'll bet she likes you a lot."

 His heart was racing all the way up in his throat. Noctis couldn't possibly be considering giving up everything for him. He hated to admit it, but Prompto had known since they first started dating that he was eventually going to lose Noctis to someone of actual importance. Especially now, with the world in the state that it was in, that was what the country needed. Someone smart and capable to stand by the king and rule alongside him. Not Prompto Argentum. He couldn't bring himself to admit those feelings, though, so maybe he could convince Noctis to make the right choice in other ways.

 He only now realized that Noctis had gone quiet again. Prompto squeezed his hand. "Please don't throw away what's important," he said, just above a whisper.

 Noctis looked up. There was the faintest hint of tears brimming in his eyes. "I'm trying not to. That's what I'm doing right now. Don't treat me like they do, Prom, like I'm some pawn that can be tossed around for political reasons. If you're really so concerned about my happiness, then give me this," he practically begged. "Let me fight for us. You're what keeps me going through everything, and I don't want that to stop."

 A beat later, he went on. "I shouldn't have tried to keep you away. I'm sorry. But if you want it, then I'm asking for you to stay with me through this, and forever after that. Please." He lifted Prompto's hand, and he felt his genuine longing in the way his lips pressed to his knuckles. "Let me try. These last few weeks have been shit. I know I couldn't handle more of not being with you," he murmured.

 Prompto was near trembling. Noctis' cool eyes bore into his widened ones, waiting for an answer from the stricken man. Finally, after swallowing the lump in his throat, he spoke. "It's gonna be hard."

 "I know."

 "And being with me is gonna make so many people unhappy."

 "I know."

 "Noct, are you sure?"

 "Absolutely."

 The conviction in his voice sent a shiver down Prompto's spine. For a moment, everything was going to be okay. He let that fantasy take hold of his thoughts.

 When Prompto didn't speak right away, Noctis took it upon himself and brought his other hand up to hold. "You and I can do this. You protect me, and I'll protect you. That's what I'm suggesting. And I trust you to make it there with me," he said.

 Fresh tears spilled down Prompto's cheeks, and he nodded with a sniffle. "Okay. I can deal with that," he murmured.

 Once again, Prompto found a warm hand on his cheek, only this time he leaned into it instantly. Then they were so close that their foreheads touched. "Great. Now you're stuck with me. Probably for life," Noctis gently teased.

 Prompto laughed a little more outright. "Gods, and you called me stubborn? Moron."

 "I guess I won't deny that." Noctis closed the distance and pressed their lips together, making Prompto's cheeks flare up with heat as if they were on their first date again. "And you're still a flustered mess. Nice to know."

 That earned Noctis a shove, and Prompto covered his red cheeks with a pout. "Watch it," he warned. Moments later, they were both laughing.

 He'd missed this, and he knew Noctis did as well. If that stubborn dork could really fight for this, and they could pull through together…well, Prompto wouldn't call that a bad deal. For the first time in a while, he felt a tinge of hope blooming in his chest.

 "Noct?"

 "Hm?"

 Prompto cupped the other's cheek and leaned in for another kiss. He let it linger, pulling back slowly and staying close even after. "I love you. Thanks for letting me come along," he whispered.

 Noctis gave a tiny nod. "I love you, too. Thanks for always protecting me."

 A genuine smile tugged at Prompto's lips. "Anytime. Now, I think we both need a shower," he pointed out. They were still a bit gross, and tomorrow would probably prove to be a long day as well. They needed this while they could have it.

 Noctis stood up and stretched. "Good idea. But I think a better idea would be showering together," he argued.

 That got a snort in response. "Did I suggest anything else?"

 They shared another laugh and began to get undressed. There was a long road ahead for them, both in the near and distant future, but that was okay. Prompto felt confident that they could get through it all. But for now, they had this night to enjoy being in each other's arms with the hope that they could spend every other night in the same way. And he was okay with that, too. 

x

So sorry this took so long! I also added a few extra little plot points, but I hope you like it :)

[kiruuuuu]

Doc/Lion oneshot in which Lion absolutely can’t get enough of Doc. (Rating E, pure filth + fluff, ~4k words) - written for the ever so wonderful 1ce_09 on twitter ♥♥ Everyone who hasn’t already, check them out for beautiful Siege art! Thank you so much for commissioning me, I enjoyed myself :)

.

If anyone had asked Lion a year – hell, months – ago which part of the day was his least favourite, he would’ve said waking up. Throughout his life, the only consistently good thing staying with him has been how easily he falls asleep and his ability to only wake up once fully rested; he sometimes thinks it’s a genuine blessing he received, a rare show of mercy of which he’s ultimately undeserving. Even when his mind worked overtime, even when there was an oppressive weight on his soul, even when there was no reason to get up in the morning, he drifted off like a lazy, oversized house cat napping in the sun. In rare moments, he idly wonders whether this ability hasn’t saved his life at some point, granted him this little bit of energy he needed to get through the day, gave him enough hope to trudge on and eventually sparked his endeavour to make it up to those he wronged.

And then there are his dreams. They’ve always been vivid, abstract, hard to grasp, but as a child he could always pinpoint at least a location or a person, something concrete which gave him an indication of what was on his mind at the time. After – after Claire, after colourful pills and pieces of paper with cartoon characters on them and a few other things, his nightly visions became even more obscure, swirls of colour, evoking emotions whose vibrancy stays with him in this twilight between waking and sleeping, a half-doze in which he’s disembodied yet conscious. He enjoys their embrace and despised nothing more than the afterimages being violently ripped away from him by a shrill alarm.

These days, he doesn’t mind it so much. The reason for his change of mind is as fortunate as it is unbelievable because of all its facets no one could’ve predicted, especially not him: It’s someone he loves (and he’d given up on this particular idea a while ago). It’s a man (and while he’s fooled around with some of his friends before, it was largely born from spite and the thrill of the forbidden). And of all people, it’s Doc.

It took him months to come to terms with the realisation that his infuriating colleague never really left his thoughts because of a fierce desire to impress him, not because of personal dislike. Doc is revered wherever he treads and when Lion earned his ire, it was much easier to pretend the negativity dictating Lion’s remorseless remarks and actions towards the other man stemmed from disdain and not disappointment in himself, not from a knee-jerk reaction to the realisation that Doc would never see him as an equal now.

It took him even longer to finally act on it too, reach out and attempt to rebuild the bridge Doc had destabilised and which Lion had spitefully burned in response; it required endless conversations with Bertrand as well as the rest of the GIGN, a worrisome amount of self-reflection, and uncomfortable, tough admissions.

But he managed. Looking back, it’s amazing how much he turned his life around, how much he achieved with the help of those around him and indubitably help from above, and he’s humble enough to try and let his gratitude shine through in everything he does these days.

He even learnt to enjoy waking up. Though admittedly it wasn’t difficult, no, not at all, not when he knows he’ll have company, be greeted with a smile and a kiss, a brief update on global events, a cup of coffee just how he likes it. And so instead of hitting the snooze button on his phone several times, tossing and turning, dreading the beginning of yet another day, he wakes with a serenity he never thought he could achieve.

This morning, his heart feels even lighter than normal and it doesn’t take long to figure out why: there’s a warm body next to his. Doc prefers getting up early, always prefers being prepared no matter what and possesses the inhuman ability to sleep without an alarm and be on time anyway – but rarely, on one of their days off, he allows himself to sleep in, much to Lion’s delight.

Smiling to himself, he rolls on his side to dazedly blink at the spectacular view in front of him and really, Doc has no business being this gorgeous this early in the day. He’s stretched out on his stomach – and he’s the only person Lion has met who sleeps this way –, head turned away from Lion, explaining his constant neck pains, and smooth skin illuminated by the rays falling in through the blinds, painting long stripes on his naked back.

Lion doesn’t want to disturb the image yet reaches out regardless, runs his fingertips over shoulder blades jutting out, the dip of his lower back, relaxed muscles, and reaches the blanket covering Doc from the hips downwards. He should let him sleep. Really, he should, but with every centimetre more that’s revealed, Lion’s interest rises. He takes his time, pauses when he hears his lover take a deep breath and proceeds when it evens out again. Slowly, surely, he reveals plump curves and more soft skin, and then his gaze falls on the discoloured spots on the back of Doc’s thighs and the almost languorous desire playfully swaying in the back of his mind suddenly gets shoved to the very forefront, makes his heart skip a beat and his crotch throb.

Memories from the previous evening come flooding back, the end of a tedious work day necessitating some kind of release – they’d started as soon as they set foot into their apartment, Lion crowding his lover against the door and licking every bit of composure off his tongue, then wandering deeper with his hungry mouth and swallowing him whole, something he’s come to love, provided he can watch Doc’s features dissolve into helpless want while sucking on him, hard. He took his time, did so for the rest too, left Doc aching and fingered him open over the couch until he was flushed and flustered and even more beautiful, took him standing up until his legs gave in, relocated to the kitchen table, eventually landed in bed where he finished them both off with merciless snaps of his hips, listening to Doc’s desperate whines and floating on pure ecstasy.

The bruises are remnants, and now he also feels the scratches on his back again which he didn’t let the other man see, angled his body so he wouldn’t notice the damage he’s done – he usually feels bad about leaving marks though Lion can never get enough. It’s one of the many small disagreements about which they half-heartedly argue and neither of them is ready to budge, but more often than not they end with a hand in someone’s hair or quick kisses. There’s more, now that he knows where to look, Doc’s ass cheeks themselves are still tinted red and the lovebites Lion sucked onto his ribs remain perfectly visible as well.

Maybe he should add a few.

Moving carefully, he removes the blanket entirely, admires Doc’s shapely legs for a moment and then kneels between them, intending no more than to touch the sleeping beauty a little, but as soon as his palms come to rest on firm flesh, a different thought makes his cock twitch in anticipation. Doc is perfectly on display like this, the hills and valleys of his body enticing in a way that Lion wants nothing more than mould himself around them, and he decides to appreciate it all by waking Doc with something more… personal than simply covering him in hickeys.

Thumbs pull the cheeks apart a little, exposing a pink hole which looks overwhelmingly inviting to Lion, a hole he abused to his heart’s content the previous evening and so it’s only appropriate for him to make up for the rough treatment, isn’t it? He leans forward and gingerly circles the rim with the tip of his tongue, starting feather-light and increasing the intensity slowly, intersperses it with broad laps and has to suppress a moan when he feels the ring of muscle pulsing in response. He’s felt similar contractions around his shaft so many times before and the association is all he needed for a full, heavy erection – especially when he remembers Doc’s usual, elated expression whenever he climaxes.

The hips beneath his hands shift a little, and a foot lifts, powerless, and when he pushes the tip of his tongue inside, Doc lets out a sleepy groan. “Really?”, he mumbles into the sheets but makes no move to stop Lion. “Didn’t we do enough yesterday?”

He grins and forces himself a little deeper, eliciting a weak moan, before withdrawing for a reply: “Gustave, I can never have enough of you.” And to cut off any smart remark, he wiggles his tongue back inside and turns all of Doc’s protests into small, appreciative noises. Though his lover appears to be the voice of reason more often than not, he allows himself to get swept up by Lion’s passion all the time, mentioning work but riding him with abandon ten minutes later, scolding him for only thinking about one thing but asking him to come on his face the same day. Lion never minds initiating, not when this is the result: an increasingly aroused Doc meeting his mouth with subtle grinding, fisting the sheets and not even fully awake yet.

A curious finger proves Doc to be more than loose enough a few minutes later, and by this point they’re both panting and dizzy – and besides, Lion has always been more of a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ type, so he wastes no time in grabbing the lube strategically placed on the bedside table to pour a generous amount on his stiff cock, wincing a little at the cool, viscous liquid. A few strokes for good measure coat it sufficiently and the next moment he’s rubbing his tip over the very hole he licked open just now, felt it quiver around his tongue. The touch is electrifying and the fierce need pulsing through him urges him to give in, take what’s his, ensure his own pleasure.

But he waits. Bites his lip in impatience, pushes slightly against the entrance and shivers when he feels it give way a little, squeezes one of the buttcheeks he maltreated in the sweetest way possible last night – but he waits.

And then Doc meets him, lifts his hips to allow the head to slip inside and both of them gasp at the sudden surge of pleasure. Lion accepts this signal for what it is and begins the slow slide, pushes deeper and deeper into deliciously tight heat, feels Doc’s walls contract around his dick and only stops once he’s bottoms out. Since his lover usually requires a moment to adjust, Lion uses this time to not only focus on how fucking good he feels, but also to straddle the other man properly and lean down, cover him with his own body and place a few loving kisses on the top of his head.

“Other people wake their boyfriends with breakfast in bed”, Doc grumbles under him, now less bleary than before, but the hand he places next to Lion’s contradicts his words. He spreads his fingers and Lion interlaces them with his own, holds on tight and makes no move to suppress the smile stretching his lips at the gesture.

“Their boyfriends are definitely not as erotic as mine then”, he purrs into Doc’s hair. His limbs are possessively caging the other man in and even then, it hardly suffices to sate his need to be as close to Doc as possible, feel all of him.

“What you mean to say is they have more than just a shred of self-control.” And oh, he’s going to make Doc eat those words.

Slowly, he begins grinding down, impatient erection twitching eagerly inside and rubbing against all the right places if Doc’s startled gasp is anything to go by. He loves it deep and Lion knows it, rolls his hips against his lover’s perfect ass and makes him feel every centimetre keenly. For good measure, he bows his head to latch onto that spot right below Doc’s ear which he knows drives him wild, tongues at it wetly before sucking and relishes the unrestrained moan he earns for his trouble. Over time, he’s memorised all of Doc’s weakspots and exploits this knowledge now shamelessly, bites at his earlobe and trails his lips over soft skin to the back of Doc’s neck where he nibbles, his lazy motions emphasising his ministrations.

By now, Doc is trembling against him, the deep grind stealing his breath and causing him to jerk his hips up in search of more thorough stimulation than this merciless teasing, trying to fuck himself on Lion’s cock but failing. Frustrated huffs join the quiet panting, his grip involuntarily tightening parallel to him clenching desperately around Lion’s hard shaft and it’s mesmerising to behold how his mock crossness melts away into pure lust.

Doc’s other hand reaches back and digs into Lion’s ass, tries to get him to move more, faster, anything, but when that fails as well, he pleads: “Come on, just fuck me, Olivier.”

He knows how this goes. Grinning to himself, Lion tenses his muscles to make his dick throb inside additionally to the tantalising motions and decides to have even more fun. “You look so pretty, impaled on my cock”, he whispers and throws Doc a bone, withdraws all the way and slowly slides back in, keeps this torturous pace and sighs contentedly every time Doc’s hole allows him back in, stretches around him. He meant his words – he really can never get enough of this.

Uneven breaths have turned into whines now. “Olivier, please -”

“I could fuck you, pump you full of come and then leave you, dripping and begging for it”, he continues and concentrates on the steady build of pleasure – a slow climb but oh so satisfying. Doc feels wonderful around him. “Could do that the entire day. Every time you suck me until I’m hard again, I shoot inside but you’re not allowed to come. You can ride my cock all day, Gustave.” The thought is dazzling and he probably never fantasised about someone while being balls deep inside that very person, yet he can’t help but picture Doc all powerless, frenzied, obeying him fully. He knows Doc is too proud to actually agree to anything like it, though the throaty moan Doc lets out in response tells Lion unambiguously that he’s imagining it – and actually enjoys the thought. Still, Lion’s thumb strokes reassuringly over the hand he’s still holding.

“Please, I want you, go faster -” Doc’s impatience has reached its peak now, he shoves himself onto Lion’s member in one go and pushes against him, whimpers when Lion gnaws at his neck in retaliation and rises nonetheless, lifting his lover’s body with him. The teasing has left him frantic and exactly how Lion likes it, cheeks red and gaze almost defiant when he glares at the larger man over his shoulder. Lion could spend all day marvelling at the state of him.

Instead, he relents, guides Doc onto his hands and knees and grabs his hips to steady him, fingers brushing over the bruises on Doc’s thigh, the faint purplish tinge an expression of his devotion. “You want it hard?”, he asks and is almost surprised at how breathy his own voice is. Unbridled want is pulsing through him, vicious and blinding, making his digits itch and cock ache.

Doc nods wordlessly and it’s probably good he can’t see the pure joy on Lion’s face over the admission. Even now, even with how familiar they are with each other, every confirmation of the passion, respect and love they share sparks delight.

A sharp snap of Lion’s hips later and his focus is elsewhere again. Now he’s getting serious, drives into Doc at a fast tempo, watches as his entire erection disappears inside him and tries his best not to come on the spot. The abrupt stimulation is almost too much but he keeps going through the discomfort paired with blunt need until he hears himself moan loudly in pleasure, dig his fingertips into Doc’s flesh. He’s not going to last long, that much is clear, but he’s going to make it good regardless.

A few pointed thrusts elicit more dazed whimpering from his lover, a picturesque arch of his back to allow Lion to penetrate him all the way and even another, decidedly more heated glance back at him. They’re both equally into it, tensing and moving against each other amid the sound of skin slapping against skin, the rustling of sheets as Doc desperately seeks support, leverage, anything to hold on to – and Lion shares the sentiment of feeling wholly lost yet not wanting to be found. Ruthlessly, he slams into his lover, chasing his pleasure, helping Doc pursue his own, and makes no effort to hide his enjoyment.

A sudden spike almost pushes him over the edge when Doc’s arms give in, accompanied by something that sounds suspiciously like a keen, and now he’s really pounding him into the mattress, showing him just how deep his desire runs, how comprehensive his attraction is. He can’t even pinpoint which part it is exactly about Doc that drives him this wild, fills him with the urge to claim, mark, embrace and never let go; and he revels in the knowledge of being able to make this otherwise so poised, dignified and professional man fall apart, provoke emotions from him he displays for no one else.

“Come for me”, Lion gasps in between the creaking of the bed, “do it. Come on, amour, Gustave, I want to feel it.” And the sounds he wrenches from Doc’s throat with every thrust get impossibly louder when his lover reaches for his dick, probably not able to keep up with the merciless rhythm with which Lion is driving into him but still good enough. He gets tighter, even more so when Lion’s breath hitches, followed by a growl. He’s getting closer by the second, Doc’s noises and velvety heat making up the perfect catalyst -

And then Doc orgasms, surprisingly quickly for how little he stroked himself, he must’ve been primed, possibly dreamt of Lion and this thought is a whole other turn-on he shelves away for later. Right now, he watches, utterly transfixed, as Doc spasms under him, hips rolling futilely to either increase the intensity or shy away from it as he shoots his sperm in short bursts in between the hard thrusts. Lion fucks him through it, runs one of his palms over the dancing muscles of Doc’s back and shudders at the violent contractions around his throbbing cock; fucks him through the aftershocks, too, tiny jolts which speak of a very satisfying climax. Lion isn’t there yet, however, not fully, teetering on the edge, carefully controlling himself so he can take all of Doc in and -

“Finish inside, Olivier”, Doc demands, voice shaky, and he’s gone.

His abs tense with a delicious kind of pain at the first wave of blissful release washing through him. He buries himself deep inside his lover and moans in disbelief over how abruptly pleasure explodes behind his eyelids and nearly folds in half at the intensity, gasping for air as his cock twitches and probably adding a few bruises to the existing ones. Momentary blindness allows him to be wholly aware of Doc moving against him to milk him for every drop, of overwhelming relief encompassing his entire being as he orgasms, surrounded by scorching heat and momentarily losing all sense of reality.

Coming down is a slow, gradual affair, both of them slumping a little and Lion bending so he can rest his forehead on Doc’s shoulder blade as they both catch their breath, bask in the afterglow and enjoy the feel of shared body heat, companionship and sweet exhaustion. Lion peppers his boyfriend’s shoulder with kisses once he can see straight again, withdraws tentatively and sits up to examine the masterpiece he just fucked into existence in all its glory: shiny skin, reddened cheeks, a gaping hole, dark marks and lovebites, and, after a few seconds, a thin stream of white leaking out.

Lion is definitely unable to get hard immediately after a climax this exquisite but his dick gives a feeble jump at the sight nonetheless. He reaches out and catches the droplets with a fingertip, pushes them back to where they came from, pushes them back inside and earns a quiet moan. Adding another digit, he tries to finger the semen as deep as he can and only pauses when Doc kicks him lightly.

“I’m sore enough as it is”, he complains and rolls to the side when Lion withdraws mournfully, yet there’s a bright smile adorning his face when their eyes meet.

With weak knees, Lion stalks back and forth to get them cleaned up (and is actually amazed Doc doesn’t mention the scratches he himself inflicted) but insists on doing one thing by himself: once he’s taken his rightful place by Doc’s side, entangled their legs and exchanged a few loving kisses, he catches Doc’s wrist to lift it to his face and starts to lick his palm clean.

“You’re like a dog”, his lover murmurs fondly and readily spreads his fingers to allow for better access. “They should’ve called you Husky, not Lion – they’re just as noisy and stubborn.”

Lion shoots him a good-natured grin. “Then you should be called Bunny. What was that about self-control?”

“Oh please, you’re the eternally horny one, mon amour.”

“And yet you never say no.” Their lips meet once more in a long, thorough kiss, with Doc climbing on top of Lion halfway through, ending up straddling him and stroking his face affectionately until Lion mouths at his palm while keeping eye contact.

“You really love my hands”, Doc points out quietly.

It’s true, he does – he loves how steady they are on the job, never making a mistake, never causing harm; loves how they’re calloused and scarred, lots of specks and lines lighter in colour telling tales of hard work; loves how they worship him, how gently they treat him, how warm they are when they touch him.

“I also really love you”, Lion says instead of the million other things he could say instead which would amount to the same thing. He’s learnt his lesson about being honest with himself and others and can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed when his admissions make Doc’s face light up like a Christmas tree. “And your hands do good. They’re your most important tools and I’m thankful every time I feel them.” There’s so much more for which he’s grateful that making a list would take him several days, so he tries to convey all which he’s not divulging explicitly with a heartfelt: “Thank you, Gustave.”

Doc’s features soften and he accepts the notion with one last kiss before getting up. “I’m going to brew us some coffee”, he announces, yet pauses by the bedroom door to catch Lion’s gaze and add, softly: “I love you too, Olivier.”

And while Lion remains in bed for a minute longer, stretched out and encased in soothing warmth coming from within, a distracted smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and most of his body tingling pleasantly, he thinks back to his life no more than a year ago. How unthinkable it was that waking up would become his favourite part of the day. But sometimes, the unthinkable happens all the same.

[vantekay]

valentine ||jhs

word count: 3.2k

estimated reading time: like 10 ish minutes, maybe? I haven’t been timing these sksks I’m sorry I will eventually come back and time it

genre(s): fluff fluff fluff and more fluff also a scene where you stargaze because I’m self indulgent and like every fic of mine that has a date scene includes stargazing sksksk sorry 

warning(s): none 

“throughout all the seasons, in this transition of winter-spring you've been here beside me with the sweet nothings you're whispering”

hoseok has always called you his rock because you kept him grounded whenever he needed it, reminding him in times of hardships that he was more than enough and that those bouts of feeling like he wasn’t enough would pass. he also called you his rock because you had been in his life for as long as he could remember, literally. you had known hoseok since you guys were kids. teeny tiny tots playing together at the daycare your mothers had both decided were good enough to watch you while they were busy. it all started because you, a very shy kid who kept to themselves in the corner, was crying and you immediately caught hoseok’s attention. you had come to find very quickly that he was the literal embodiment of sunshine and rainbows and everything else that could possibly bring you joy. he had been the only kid to approach you in the daycare since you arrived, and he made it his mission to make you happy. he had introduced himself to you as hobi, and from that day on it was hobi and y/n against the world. as you grew older, you had found that hoseok actually lived in the same neighborhood as you and this led to you and him growing closer as you aged. enter your tween and teen years and you were pretty much bound at the hip, doing anything and everything you could together. you had begun going to the others family gatherings, parties and other special events together and there came a time when both of your families had begun teasing you both about being an item. this would always prompt your cheeks to turn a deep rose color as hoseok denied any chances of getting together with you, claiming you were more like a sister to him. this had hurt you a bit the first few times he had said it, seeing as you had feelings for hoseok that were definitely not brotherly and you had always silently hoped he felt the same but you learned to quickly push those feelings down and laugh along with him whenever family members brought it up. this continued for a couple years until one drunken high school party where you had confessed your feelings for him and, to your surprise, he felt the same. the next day was spent soberly clearing things up and properly confessing, marking the beginning of your new relationship with hoseok. he learned very quickly that you were supportive of him. you always had been, but now that you proudly wore the title of girlfriend it had been enhanced ten fold and it made hoseok's day. whether it was cheering him on at his tennis games or during his swim meets, you never failed to bring a smile to his face when he caught you waving at him from the sidelines, the widest of grins on your face as you showed him how proud you were. you’re praises never stopped on the field though, no, hoseok would hear them the entire way back to your homes, and if you were spending the night at his then you would continue to praise him there too. when he had finished getting ready to relax and you were waiting for him on his bed with open arms, he would happily clamber into bed with you and accept your cuddles, you held him close to your chest as you ran your hand through his hair and continued to talk about how proud you were of him, how amazing he did during the game and so forth, until finally his eyes would flutter closed and the smile on his lips stretched wider.

“you're a lovable, angelic piece of perfect and anything i do for you is worth it times a million and a half”

it should come as no surprise that hoseok loves to do for other people, especially for you. whatever it was you needed him to do he would do it in a heartbeat. you needed a new pair of pants because you spilled coffee on your old ones? hoseok was already on his way to the mall as soon as you told him. you had a really bad day at work and you wanted takeout and a movie night in? hoseok has your favorite takeout place on speed dial and your order memorized and could make it to your apartment in 10 minutes flat with your favorite movie. you were his angel, his world, and he loved doing things for you. hoseok always made it known that you could count on him, constantly telling you that it didn’t matter how busy he was or what he was doing. reminding you that he would always drop whatever it was and help you in any way he could. this made touring a little difficult for him, seeing as how he wouldn’t be able to stop in the middle of a show to help you if you needed him but you knew he would help you as soon as he could. there was one time, however, where in the middle of a show he had gotten a message from your coworker telling him that you had fallen at work and were rushed to the hospital. it wasn’t anything major, just a preemptive trip to make sure you didn’t break any bones from the fall but it was still enough to plant that seed of worry in hoseok. what made this worse was the fact that he was in the middle of a show, in between songs and getting a quick change when he had heard the news from a staff member. they tried to reassure him that you were okay and that you weren’t actually hurt that badly, that your coworker just wanted to make sure you hadn’t broken any bones but it was still enough to drive hoseok mad. he tried to brush it off for the rest of the show and not worry ARMY but you were all he could think about. of course he immediately thought of all the worst case scenarios he could, like you being stuck at the hospital all by yourself because your friend had to leave, or you having broken every bone in your body and having to be put in a full body cast for a couple of months and many other unlikely scenarios. as soon as the show had ended, he rushed off stage to video call you, not even bothering with a text to make sure you were still up. his heart was relieved for a split second when you answered on the second ring, and he didn’t even let you speak before he was already blubbering off his concerns.

“oh god angel I’m glad you answered, I got the text from your coworker saying you were in the hospital as we were in the middle of the show and I was so worried about you. are you okay? did you break anything? do I need to sue your company for the fall? psychological damage that you may have suffered? god baby I’m so sorry I’m not there to sit with you in the hospital right now and- wait, are you at home?” hoseok furrowed his eyebrows and squinted down at his phone screen as you leaned your head back to let out a loud laugh. he backs away from his intense staring with his lips down in a frown and a pout on his face, waiting for you to explain.

“I got out of the hospital like, an hour ago love. it was just a trip to make sure I didn’t break anything, which I didn’t, I just twisted my ankle s’all.” as you spoke you could watch the worry physically drain itself from hobi’s face, his heart shaped smile beginning to form itself on his lips at the thought of you being okay.

“oh thank god, y/n I couldn’t even begin to tell you how worried I was about you, I was starting to wonder if management would let me fly home to see you in case you had been put in a full body cast or something.” now you both laughed, hoseok blushing slightly at how ridiculous he sounded but you assured him that you loved it, loved him for caring so much about you and being ready to do whatever he needed to take care of you. you meant a lot to him, and he would be willing to give you his heart in a split second if you needed it, that’s how much he loved you. 

“cause i love you and i'd like to spend forever in the subtle warmth inside your arms”

hoseok’s favorite thing to do with you has to without a doubt be cuddling. he loves it when you cuddle him or he cuddles you, he doesn’t mind either position as long as he can feel the warmth radiating off of your body and onto his. he loves holding you close, head pressed up against his chest so you can hear his heartbeat while his hand runs through your hair as he talks to you about his day and you talk to him about yours. hoseok always wants to be touching you in some way whether it be hugging or cuddling or holding hands, he always wants to feel your warmth. whenever you go out in public he is holding your hand, if you have to separate for whatever reason he always makes sure you part with a hug and if you guys are just spending time at the dorm or at your apartment you better believe you’re cuddled up on the couch together. hoseok loves it the most when he wakes up with you in his arms, the way you’re always wrapped up in his embrace like you haven’t moved since you fell asleep in the same position. he loves it when it’s raining really heavily and you beg him to sit out in the living room with you, huddled up on the couch with your favorite blanket and a movie on the tv, drowned out by the sound of the rain hitting the glass of your window. he loves it when you rest your head on his shoulder while gazing at something, whether it be your phone or whatever else may be holding your attention and he just enjoys being close to you, and he never wants to let you go.

“i'll keep on creating for you until my final days, dancing in the living room and smooching while the vinyl plays”

one of hoseok’s favorite memories with you is whenever he had a day off and you insisted on dancing with him, since he would continue to practice even if he was meant to be relaxing. the day usually goes something like this, you begin by sitting in the living room and watching him dance, then he insists on teaching you some of the moves so now you’re up and dancing with him and then eventually you convince him to do some kind of slow dance with you as a cool down from earlier. he would never admit it but he loves it when his days off go like this, getting some practice in and then ending it with you and him slow dancing while your bluetooth speaker plays whatever love song you have in your playlist. he loves holding you by the waist, watching as you lean your head forward on his chest while you dance, hands intertwined and the soft sounds of your breath mingling as you sway together in the living room. hoseok will begin his kiss attacks with simple smooches to you hair, and then gradually makes his way down to your face after you’ve removed it from the warmth of his chest to look up at him. he starts his descent at your forehead, leaving a kiss there before travelling to your nose, and then both cheeks, your chin, the corners of your mouth and then finally landing on your lips. the kiss is always soft and sweet and makes butterflies erupt in your stomach and you can’t get enough of him which leads into a makeout session. hoseok’s hands grip your waist a little tighter as your hands move to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, not once breaking apart for air. you continue like that for what feels like hours, just holding each other and sharing kisses under the dim lighting in your living room until hoseok’s stomach begins to growl louder than the music playing in the background and you break apart with a laugh, walking into the kitchen together to prepare a meal.

“cause we can both hear the compliments coming in from these pals of mine and I've been wondering if you would be my valentine”

hoseok remembers back in highschool, when you had just started dating, and valentine’s day approaching faster than he would have liked. he was nervous seeing as it was the first holiday you would be spending together as a couple and he wanted it to be perfect. his friends had encouraged him, telling him they would help him with any planning or preparations he had. what he really wanted to do was take you out for a picnic date at the park you really liked that was a bit of a drive out of town and then watch the stars with you. he tells his friends about his plan in hopes that they will get the hint to leave him alone, but something about the way they smile at him after he’s done speaking tells him otherwise. brushing it off, he waits for you in the school’s parking lot and gets ready to put his plan into action. when you get into his car, he starts to drive towards the location of the park which is on the opposite side of town where you both live. you’re confused, and look over to ask him what he’s doing to which you only get a “you’ll see” out of him. you sit back and enjoy the ride, wondering what he could possibly have planned for today. when you arrive at the park the sun has begun its descent and hobi is quick to pull you out of his car and towards the location of the picnic dinner he has had set up for the past few hours. you laugh at his enthusiasm only to be wowed by the location for which he has picked out. the spot he found has a perfect overview of the horizon ahead, and it perfectly shows off the current setting sun and all of the orange pink and purple hues stemming from it. you stand there in awe, mouth hung open as you watch the sun set and hoseok can’t help but take a couple photos of you, some from a few feet behind you showing off both the setting sun and your silhouetted frame. he smiles down at the photos before walking up behind you and wrapping you up in a hug, head placed on your shoulder as he places soft kisses into the crook of your neck. you giggle before attempting to get away from him, claiming that his shows of affection tickle and that you want to eat. he leads you back over to the blanket and begins to pull out the food he had prepared. to your surprise, he pulls out a bunch of fruits and what looks to be kimchi made from scratch. you look up at him in awe while a blush blossoms on his cheeks. he dishes out the servings of food between the two of you before starting to eat, striking up conversation with you about school that day and what plans you had for the weekend. after you both finish eating and the sun has promptly set, he asks you to lay down with him on the blanket to stargaze for a little. it takes you by surprise, seeing as hoseok has never addressed the idea of finding stargazing particularly interesting but you assume that maybe he had seen posts about it on twitter or instagram pertaining to how it was a cute date idea. you lay hand in hand and watch the stars for about an hour before you pack up to go home, the cold air beginning to nip at your skin and creating goosebumps. once you’re back inside his car hoseok pulls out one last surprise gift for you. you assume it’s a ring, considering the box he occupies in his hands is too small to contain a necklace or bracelet and you feel your heartbeat begin to pick up. hoseok smiles before opening the case and showing off a beautiful gold promise ring set, one for you and one for him. he takes the one meant for you out and begins to place it on your ring finger as he speaks softly. 

“I got these because even though we just started dating, we’ve known each other our whole lives and I can’t imagine the rest of my life being with anyone else but you. I want to continue making memories with you and I want to build my future with you, y/n. so I want us to make a promise that we will always be there for each other.” hoseok looks back up from your hand with a smile on his face as he finishes talking and you quickly lean forward to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you hobi, I promise.” you extend your pinky finger for him to latch onto and he does so with a small laugh, leaning forward to kiss you again. it isn’t until you hear whooping and hollering from outside that you pull away, looking around quickly to spot the source of the noise. hoseok rolls his eyes and leans his head back until it hits the headrest, promptly bringing his hands up to run down his face with a groan. “I knew they were going to follow us here.” he mumbles before his friends arrive at the driver’s side window, smirks plastered on their faces as they show hoseok a big thumbs up. when he turns to unlock the door their expressions all drop, quickly running off into the direction of their own cars in order to escape hoseok’s wrath. you laugh from the passenger's seat as you watch him chase his friends around the parking lot, yelling about how they “need to respect his privacy” and “can’t you guys get your own girlfriend instead of living vicariously through me?!” 

when he finally gets them to leave and has returned to his spot behind the wheel he turns to apologize to you, “as you can see, they were very excited for our valentines plans, and they wanted to see if you would turn me down or something I’m not too sure what they were expecting.” but all you can do is laugh some more and tell him that you didn’t mind, that you thought it was cute his friends wanted to see how things would turn out, and maybe they would finally listen to hobi and stop living as though you were their girlfriend as well.

[mrsimoshen]

I’m Your Private Dancer

Title: I’m Your Private Dancer

Link: I'm Your Private Dancer on AO3

Square filled: Human Cas

Ship: Castiel/Michael

Rating: Mature

Tags: Human AU, human!Cas, human!michael, Prostitution/male escort Cas, Client Michael, Lingerie, Anal Plug, implied cross-dressing, Anal Sex

Summary: Male escort Castiel meets a client. 

Word count: 2738

created for @spnkinkbingo

tagging: @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell​, @silvaxus, @blakechaos08, @princerusso, @masterpieceofturkeycleverness   @ajcza​, @buggre-alle-thisss-ineffability​, @brieflymaximumprincess​, @captain-winchester-27​

Fic below the cut:

All the men come in these places And the men are all the same You don't look at their faces And you don't ask their names You don't think of them as human You don't think of them at all You keep your mind on the money Keeping your eyes on the wall

  Castiel Novak snorts as Tina’s voice croons on. He’s always thought the dancer in that song was a metaphor for something else, but it’s a bit of an irony that this song would come up on the radio just as he’s getting ready for an appointment.

Unlike the narrator of the song, however, Castiel doesn’t keep his clients at arm’s length. He knows the name of each, knows their faces, their voices, just as he knows the preferences of every man he regularly meets. Of course, it’s about the money – Castiel would be lying if he claimed otherwise, and he’s many things, but not a liar – but if he didn’t enjoy what he does, he would have chosen a different career path a long time ago.

Today, he’s wearing silky thigh-highs and a garter belt along with a pair of low-cut panties and a slinky camisole, all in darkest black with green lace accents. His client likes it when he can easily slide into him, so Cas took care in opening himself up earlier, and now he can feel the familiar weight of the glass plug in his hole. He’s half-hard from all that, and will probably remain so all throughout the evening, but his client enjoys that, too.

Cas hums along to the refrain as he carefully applies just a bit of make-up. It’s very subtle, almost unnoticeable to anyone who doesn’t know the trick, but it makes his eyes appear larger, their blue more intense. It’s not really necessary for the client he’s meeting, but it’s a habit, and he likes the effect.

Make-up done, Castiel gets up – shivering a bit as the weight of the plug inside him makes itself known again and silk brushes against his skin – and walks to his cupboard to select this evening’s wardrobe.

He has a wide range of choice, there – the jeans and shirts he prefers for when he doesn’t work, tailored suits and leather pants and jackets, fine loafers and heavy biker boots, even a few dresses for one particular client he’s since stopped seeing. Throwing the dresses out seemed wasteful, however, so Castiel carefully stored them in their bags and let them live in his cupboard.

Today, he picks out a suit he knows is a favorite of his client. “It brings out your eyes,” he’s always told, and since it’s surprisingly comfortable (which really should be expected, it was made-to-measure and cost a pretty penny, it should be comfortable), Castiel enjoys wearing it, too.

Suit put on and shoes set to the side, Cas stretches out on his couch and lets himself day-dream about how the evening might progress.

His clients all treat him well, mutual respect the most important aspect of the whole deal – if Cas feels disrespected as a human being once because of the service he provides, people find themselves permanently removed from his client list fast. And Castiel also has the connections to ruin a person’s life in interesting ways.

The man he’s meeting today has a taste for European food, the authentic version and not the Americanized deal, but it’s anyone’s guess what nation’s cuisine he’ll be treated to tonight. What they’ll do after that… well, Castiel is horny, so he hopes he’ll be taken to his client’s home after and get fucked a few times, but it’s equally likely his lover for the night will take him to some art show or concert or even the movies after dinner. It’s all happened before. (Castiel’s favorite memory is the time this particular man fucked him, slow and intimate, in a VIP box at the opera where, in theory, anyone who looked into the shadows of their box could have seen them. He spent almost the whole opera on his lover’s cock, and that night was spectacular, once they were in the privacy of his client’s home.)

But he knows the man’s tastes in that area, too, and there’s no opera shown tonight that might catch his fancy. He’s not quite as up-to-date on the movies, and there’s always an art gallery somewhere who’s having a show.

Cas smiles as his phone gives a quiet chirp to alert him to an incoming text message. None of his clients know his actual address, they just know the address of the private, guarded parking lot where he habitually leaves his car. He needs ten minutes from his apartment to that parking lot, and he’s told his clients to inform him when they’ve arrived. Those ten minutes waiting sometimes yield... interesting results.

I’m here, darling.

Castiel slips his shoes on and grabs his keys, phone, wallet, and coat. It’s cold outside, it’s only February, so he adds his favorite scarf to the ensemble and leaves his apartment.

 His client’s car is idling in its spot when Castiel opens the door and slides into the passenger seat, and he’s very glad about the warmth enveloping him.

“Hello, Michael.”

“Hello, Castiel,” his client returns with a warm smile and leans over the stick shift and hand brake to greet him with a soft brush of lips on lips. Castiel smiles and angles his head into the soft kiss. Michael is one of the affectionate clients, and Castiel likes the gentle touches an evening with Michael always includes. It feels a little as if they’re truly a couple out on a date night.

Michael waits until Castiel has put on his seat belt before pulling out into the traffic. He’s one of those drivers in whose car Castiel thinks he could actually fall asleep if the distance was long enough. He’s not usually one for sleeping in anyone’s car, an accident that cost him a childhood friend having left a deep impression, but Michael is calm and controlled in everything he does (unless he’s fucking Castiel in the privacy of his own bed. Then, there’s only wild passion in him.) and he always weaves through traffic so smoothly Castiel never felt anything but safe in his car.

“Where are we going?”

“Wait and see, darling,” Michael chuckles and makes a turn. “I do hope you enjoy tapas.”

Cas does, especially if they’re served in a small restaurant that looks as if it was imported from Spain, beams, stones and furniture. There are large pieces of jamón serrano hanging from the ceiling, the Spanish music in the background is just low enough to not interrupt a conversation but lend a certain ambience to the whole restaurant, and the food is perfect. Castiel enjoys every bite he’s served, enjoys the sour wine that he’d usually never pick (he has a sweet tooth when it comes to wine) but that fits perfectly with the dishes they’re served.

Michael, who sticks to sparkling water, takes a single sip on Castiel’s insistence and agrees with him with a smile, licking his lips. “It does compliment the food very well,” he hums. Castiel shivers a little at the tone of voice.

Michael surprises him by driving to his own apartment after dinner. When he notices Cas’ questioning look, he grins.

“I thought we could watch a movie at my place,” he murmurs, using an upcoming red light to stroke a hand up Castiel’s leg slowly. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve got beneath that suit for me today, darling.”

Castiel shivers a little and lets his legs fall a little wider with a smile.

“Would you like to guess?” he invites, and Michael laughs and pulls his hand back as the light changes to green.

“Let me fantasize a moment longer.”

 Michael’s apartment is in one of the more expensive parts of town, and Castiel has enough information about his lover of the night to know that Michael works for a high-end law firm and comes from a rich family background. Castiel himself is rather expensive, and he knows from experience Michael has a taste for the finer things in life. Which is probably a compliment in itself.

“Get comfortable,” Michael invites him with a smile, taking Castiel’s coat to hang it up neatly. “Would you like a drink, or coffee?”

“Coffee, please,” Castiel requests with a smile. He wanders further into the apartment as Michael goes to convince his high-end coffee machine to produce the dark liquid and decides to be just a bit of a tease. He leaves his shoes neatly by the living room doorway, then drops his tie on the way to the couch. By the time he’s stretched out on the ridiculously comfortable piece of furniture, his shirt is unbuttoned just enough so that a teasing hint of green lace is visible against his skin.

Michael doesn’t notice at first, concentrating on the coffee cups in his hands, but when he sits down and hands Castiel his coffee, his eyes widen.

“Oh, you little tease,” he breathes with a grin. Castiel laughs and sips his coffee.

“Now, I would be a tease if I didn’t plan to deliver,” he corrects calmly. “I very much intend to deliver, dear Michael.”

“I very much appreciate that,” Michael sinks down onto the couch himself, close enough to Castiel he can feel the other man’s body warmth. “Any preference on the movie?”

Castiel glances over Michael’s pre-selection and decides on one he’s already seen but could stand to watch a second time. He’s guessing they won’t see the end of the movie, not if he starts seducing Michael as soon as they have emptied their coffee mugs. Michael always lets Castiel make the first move, always lets Castiel decide how far they go, and Castiel appreciates it. (Once, he’d told Michael to ravish him, make him forget everything around them. He’s definitely going to do that again someday, because that night ranks top amongst those he’ll never forget.)

For now, he’s content to lean against Michael’s side and sip his coffee as they watch the beginning of the movie. It’s really good coffee, and Michael knows by now how Castiel prefers his, and so it’s not to be rushed but savored.

Half an hour into the movie, Castiel finally sets his empty mug down on the coffee table next to Michael’s and stretches before turning to Michael. He softly brushes his mouth over Michael’s, flicks his tongue out just a little bit, and Michael sighs and cups his face, pulls him into a deeper kiss.

They take their time, kisses turning deeper and hungrier slowly. Castiel ends up straddling Michael’s legs, almost in his lap as they kiss. Michael groans when Castiel leans back to further unbutton his shirt, revealing more of the black silk and green lace beneath.

“Touch me,” he invites in a rough whisper, and Michael’s hands almost fly to his sides, stroke up over black silk reverently.

“Get rid of the shirt,” Michael murmurs, his eyes on the way his hands look on the silk. Castiel laughs and complies, and then gasps when gentle fingers rub and tease at one of his nipples through the material. Michael alternates between stroking soft silk and rougher lace over the sensitive nub until Castiel is biting his lower lip and breathing noticeably faster.

“I want to see you,” Michael murmurs, finally showing mercy on the nipple he was playing with. Permission to touch given, he’s slipping back into the dominant role he usually prefers when they meet. Castiel smiles and slides off his lap, taking a few steps back to let Michael see all of him. He takes his time undoing his belt, the button on his pants and the zipper, and when he finally lets the garment fall, Michael moans and presses a hand against his own crotch.

“Like what you see?” Castiel purrs, slowly walking back towards his lover for the night. “I chose the green just for you.”

“Oh, I very much like what I see,” Michael breathes, looking Castiel up and down slowly. “Damn, you’re pretty, darling.”

“Why, thank you, Michael,” Castiel purrs, slowly climbing back up onto the couch and into Michael’s lap. Michael shivers and strokes up his thighs. He makes a low sound when he notices Castiel wears the panties over the garter belt – meaning he can take them off and leave belt and stockings in place.

“Very nice,” he murmurs, stroking up underneath the camisole. “You’re spoiling me, Castiel.”

Castiel laughs quietly and raises his arms to let Michael strip the camisole from him. He moans as Michael leans forward to lick and suck at the nipple he’d neglected before, buries his hands in Michael’s dark hair. “Oh…”

“Always so sensitive for me,” Michael hums and blows cool air over wet skin. Castiel shivers and watches Michael’s eyes darken further. “Bedroom.”

They end up leaving a trail of Michael’s clothes from the couch to the bed, and Castiel ends up on his back on the sheets, Michael on his hands and knees above him. His lover looks him up and down hungrily before kissing him again, harder and deeper this time until Castiel is out of breath and clinging to the soft cotton.

Michael peels him out of the panties with teasing touches, then spends a few minutes licking at Castiel’s hard cock before reaching to the bedside table for the lube. Cas pulls his knees up and bares himself, clenches down on the glass plug inside him with a low moan and his eyes on the impressive erection between Michael’s legs. Michael groans at seeing the glass between his cheeks.

“How open are you, darling?”

“Enough you can slide right in,” Cas promises huskily and then moans when Michael lightly tugs on the plug, pulling it out a little before letting it slide back in. He keeps doing it until Cas is moaning and begging for him to please, please fuck him, and Cas nearly sobs in relief when the plug gets pulled free finally and he hears the distinct sound of a condom wrapper being opened.

Michael’s cock pushing into him has him whine in need, because no matter how nice a glass plug is, it will never come close to an actual cock in Castiel’s opinion, and Michael is big enough to stretch him a little even after wearing the plug for hours.

His lover of the night is also a man of infinite patience, so the first slide in is slow and gentle, until Michael is as deep as he can get and Castiel is panting and moaning, feeling so damn full. “Please, move,” he gasps out, and Michael chuckles and complies, guiding Cas’ legs up around his hips before starting to roll his hips, slow and gentle and just enough to drive Cas slowly but surely mad.

He’s begging in a constant, breathless stream of words by the time Michael takes pity on him and starts moving faster and harder, and Castiel nearly screams when a hand wraps around his cock and starts stroking him in time with the thrusts into him.

Michael’s cock rubs insistently over his prostate, and Cas lasts only a handful of thrusts more before arching his back and shouting, covering Michael’s hand and his own belly with his release. Michael groans deep and low as Castiel’s hole clenches down on him hard but keeps fucking Castiel until he sinks back into the mattress. Only then does his lover let go himself, coming with a few more hard thrusts into Castiel’s twitching hole.

Cas pants and watches as Michael does the same. In a moment, his green-eyed lover of the night will pull out and get rid of the condom, and there’ll be sparkly water fresh from the fridge for him and a warm, wet washcloth to clean up with. Michael will curl up around him for a while and they’ll talk about whatever comes to mind, and maybe, they’ll have sex again if the mood strikes them.

In the morning, there will be a white envelope with the sum Michael owes him in cash, and Castiel will return to his own apartment and shower, and in a few days, he’ll get ready for the next appointment.

 Yes, Cas is a private dancer, but he likes dancing to his own tune.

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Star Crossed Rivalry: Part 5

Pairings: Opie x Reader (SOA/TWD MC AU Crossover ) Negan daughter!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Angst, Violence

Word Count: 4,211

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Look at my little chunker.” You cooed as you held your 9 pound 8 ounce, and twenty-one and a quarter inches long son in your arms. “My little chunky boy that ruined mommy’s pussy forever and ever…”

“Babe!” Opie laughed as he sat beside you on the bed, holding the two loves of his life in his arms. 

“You’re gunna be tall like your daddy.” You said as you laid your head on Opie’s chest with a smile you never thought was going to fade. “And just as handsome as him, too. You’re going to be a handsome little man, Hunter. I know it.”

“He has your nose, Mama.” Opie said as he smiled at the cooing boy in your arms. “And your smile…”

“No, that’s your smile, Daddy.” You said as you brushed your thumb across Hunter’s cheek as he looked up at you with Opie’s hazel eyes. “And your eyes. Fuck, could he be anymore perfect?”

“Not fucking possible.” Negan said as he knocked softly on your hospital room door with his knuckle. You smiled up at him as he held up a light blue stuffed teddy bear with a handmade Saviors kutte on it. “First fucking present.”

“You’re such a softy.” You said as you let Opie take Hunter from your arms. “Thank you, grandpa.”

“Fuck off.” He chuckled as he closed the room door behind him partially and tossed the bear on your bed. “Pop. That’s what I am.” You nodded your head and smiled as he carefully took his grandson from your fiancé. “Michonne and Rick are out in the waiting room. Same with Jax and Piney, who looks about as white as a fucking ghost.”

“That’s just Piney.” Ope said as he picked up the bear and put it in Hunter’s clear sided bassinet. “He’s always pale as fuck.”

“Told ‘em to wait until I made sure you were ready for company. And I wanted this little Satan spawn all to myself.”

“You’re an ass!” You laughed as he sat down on the couch that ran under the windows on the far side of the room.

“I hope, for your sake, he’s just as much as a fucking monster child as you were. Then you’ll see what your mother and I had to fucking deal with.”

“And just because you said that, he’s going to be a perfect little angel.” You teased with a smile. “Baby, can you hand me my make up bag? I’ll at least run a damn brush through my hair or something.”

“Damn, you were fucking right about this one.” Your dad said as he jostled your son the slightest bit. “This is one big fucking boy.”

“Will you leave him alone?” Opie laughed as he handed you your bag. “I packed that dress thing you were looking at in the store. The lady said it was the best thing during her hospital stay, and it was worth the money.”

“Oh my God, I fucking love you.” You said as you pulled the soft, pink wrap around nursing gown you had been kicking yourself all week for not buying out of your bag. You looked up at him with a happy pout as you held the dress to your chest. “Best fiancé ever.”

“I try.” He said as he came over to help you up out of bed so you could change in the bathroom. 

“You two are fucking disgusting.” Your dad said with a shake of his head. “Yea, your Mommy and Daddy are fucking disgustingly in love.”

“God, shut up.” You groaned as you stepped into the bathroom. “Get your baby love in fast, Pop. You’re about to have to share him with a whole lotta people.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were used to the Sanctuary being crowded for Halloween but no where like this. It was as if every member of every charter was there with their kids, ready to welcome the new Saviors Prince to the world. The moment you got out of your truck beside your fiancé with your carseat on your arm, the parking lot erupted into cheers.

“OK, OK!” You laughed as you held your hand up to silence the masses. “My kid is thankfully a quite baby, but I don’t want to test the theory!”

“I call dibs on the first helping of baby love.” Michonne said as she came over to you with a giant smile in her Princess Leia costume. “I love the spots.”

“Just wait for it.” You said as you set your car seat on the little stage. “Introducing Hunter Winston, my little chunkster puppy.” Michonne ‘aw’ed’ as you pulled back the blanket to show off your currently sleeping son, who you knew would wake up the moment he got picked up. “I should have made him a monkey so he’d be a chunky monkey.”

“Oh, that’d be too perfect.” She said as you unsnapped the carseat and carefully picked your three and a half week old son, up. His eyes flew open, and looked around as you carefully laid him down in the crook of Michonne’s arms.

“He’s an angel child.” You said as you grabbed his Dalmatian ear beanie out of your diaper bag to go with his onesie and the black eyeliner dot you drew on his and your noses. “He doesn’t really cry, he sleeps like four hours at a time at night, eats like a champ, obviously. But it’s still so much work.”

“We got lucky as hell.” Opie said with a nod as he handed you a bottle of water. “Even if Negan tried to curse us.”

“He’s beautiful, (Y/N).” She cooed as she offered Hunter her finger. He cooed back and wrapped his pudgy hands around her slender finger.

“Is this the future King biker?” Rick teased as he came over to say hi.

“Not happening.” You and Opie said simultaneously as he lit a cigarette for you and gently pulled you back away from your son by your spotted dress covered shoulder.

“We got him for a minute.” Michonne said with a smile as she passed off Hunter to her husband. “Take a smoke break. Go mingle for a bit.” You nodded your head as you took a long drag of your cigarette and glanced over at Maggie, who was coming over to say hi and get some baby love as well. You smiled at her and walked the couple feet over to her as Hunter was passed off to Carol next. 

“How are you two liking being parents?” She asked as she kissed your cheek.

“It’s a lot.” Opie chuckled as he grabbed a chair for you and Maggie from a near by crafts table. “Don’t get me wrong. We really do have an angel but I don’t think I have every worried about every little thing before in my life.”

“Poor Creature has no idea what to do with Hunter.” You chuckled. “And I’ve been keeping him in his bassinet not his crib because I’m too scared I won’t hear him downstairs…”

“OK, there’s nothing wrong with that.” Maggie chuckled. “Hershel stayed in a bassinet until he was six and a half months old. There is nothing wrong with that. And I know you have a baby monitor since I bought it for you. That one is super loud when you have it on. I could hear Hershel fart through it like he was sitting right next to me. What else?” You glanced at Opie, who you knew had a shit load of concerns neither of you wanted to ask your doctor out of embarrassment, before looking back at Maggie.

“OK, sometimes he wont latch on.” Opie nodded as he grabbed a chair for himself, and sat down beside you.

“Do you eventually stop worrying that he’s just gunna up and die?”

“Are we gunna turn into our parents?”

“Is there anything I can really do at night to help? I feel shitty just fucking laying there and watching her breastfeed.”

“And what about baby shots? I know we’re along way off, but these past three weeks has already flew by. Are they safe? Can your doctor spread them out more?”

“Ok, whoa.” Maggie laughed as she held her hand up to stop your rant. “Slow down, take a deep breath and let’s start from the beginning. Have you not talked to your doctor about this?” You shook your head, and looked over at Hunter as your dad showed him off to a few patches from the Orlando Florida charter.

“You know as well as I do how embarrassing some of this shit it.” You said as you reached into Opie’s firefighter’s jacket and grabbed his cigarettes since yours were in your diaper bag. “It’s easier to ask someone that’s family.”

“Alright.” She agreed as Carol came over to say hi as well. “We got a lot of mom’s here so we’ve got a lot of collective experience. Let’s start at the beginning…”

——

“He fall asleep?” Ope asked as you walked back into the main room after feeding your son, and getting him down for a nap. You nodded your head and pulled back the cloth of your carrier to show him Hunter.

“Fed, changed, and in jammies.” You said with a nod. “I probably should have wiped off his little nose before I breast fed but whatever.”

“You live and you learn.” He said as he leaned down to kiss his son’s forehead.

“Cops, cops, cops!” Ezekiel roared as he stuck his head in from outside. You didn’t hesitate in grabbing Opie’s hand, and yanking him down the hall you just came from.

“Where…?” He asked as you turned a corner, making sure you held Hunter to your chest so he wouldn’t jostle awake, and make noise in your haste. You shushed Ope as you turned into the president suite and shut the door behind you both.

“Help me with this. I need two hands to move it.” You said as you walked quickly over to a large mirror on the wall beside the bed. “The handle is right here, and it swings open.”

“Oh, shut up.” He said as he put his hand on top of yours to find the latch and the handle. “You have a secret door…”

“Yes, and if you move faster, we can be behind it before the cops come.” You said shortly as he pulled the door open. You dipped past him into the small surveillance room and started to flip switches to turn on the monitors for the cameras hidden around the factory.

“Does it lock?” Opie asked as he pulled the mirror back into place. You nodded and flipped another switch, sending three, unseen, stainless steel bolts from the back of the door into the wall to hold it in place. “Well fuck.”

“My dad made this room when we first bought the Sanctuary.” You said as you sent Negan a coded text to his personal line. “He and I are the only people who know it exist for this exact reason.”

“What does that mean?” He asked as he looked at the text.

“PR means panic room, and OH(i) are the three of our initials.” You looked up at the monitors at the main room of the club, where friends and family of the club were all laying face down on the floor. Feeling his phone ring in his kutte and knowing it was you, Negan looked directly at the hidden camera and closed his eyes in a long blink. With a sigh, you sat down in the computer chair and checked on your son, who was thankfully still fast asleep. “Swear to God this kid could sleep through a hurricane then a tornado before going to a football game.” Opie huffed as he sat down in your old beanbag chair with a sigh.

“Well I guess I can say thanks for loving me.” He chuckled as you watched the DEA, the ATF, and the local and state police executed a search warrant on the building. 

“You’re a goon.” You giggled as you watched family member after family member get put into cuffs, and carted out to the waiting transport vans. You sighed again as your dad was put in the back of the van as well, when a lone motorcycle pulled down the road toward the end of the road. “Son of a bitch.” You said as you sat up and expanded that view to take up one of the four monitors in the room.

“What the fuck is Clay doing here?” Opie asked as he got up and came over to get a closer look. You shook your head subtly as movement on the screen next to the one you were watching caught your attention. Your jaw dropped and you stood up slowly as you watched one of the DEA agents uncuff Dwight and let him walk away.

“Oh, you mother fucker.” You said as you minimized the screen with Clay to watch the long driveway. “Fuck, he’s a fucking rat.” You glanced over at Opie and the slight furrow of his brow before reaching up to tap the screen to explain. “The Saviors make a run six times a year for their product. Negan and Rick are the only ones who know the exact date but the run is almost always the week before Halloween. None of the other members know the exact date, they just come to town exactly a week before and wait until my dad tells them to wake up and go. But this year, because of Hunter, my dad pushed it.” You tapped Dwight’s head, wishing you could kill him in that moment, as he stood talking to Clay at the end of the road, not realizing that he had been made. 

“Dwight set this up with the Sons, not realizing my dad changed the date. Because usually, by now, this place is full with enough weed to put every single person in here away.” You both fell dead silent for a moment as the main room door flew open and a state officer and an AFT agent started to tear the room apart. You continued to shake your head and watch Dwight until the agents left the now destroyed bedroom and your upturned baby carrier and diaper bag.

“Is this recording?” Opie whispered as he watched Clay leave, and Dwight slink into the shadows. 

“Always.” You said with a nod as you turned in your chair to find a blank disc to make a copy of it for your dad. “You can’t say anything to anyone, baby.” You reminded him as you turned around to look at him. “Not even Jax. Not yet. We have to wait for my dad, first and we’ll move from there.” Opie sighed and nodded his head as he went back over and sat down on the bean bag.

“I know.” He breathed as he pulled off his scrubbed his hand down his face. “Fuck, I know.” You looked over at him, sorrowfully and shook your head.

“This is the down side to falling in love with the enemy, baby. I’m really, really sorry.”

“It’s not you, baby girl.” He said as he reached out for your hand. “It’s the beast that is our life. But I walked away from my club for a reason. And that reason is sitting in front of me, cradling my other reason to stay out.” You smiled weakly as he pulled on your hand until you got up from your chair. With a huff, you stood up and very carefully sat down so that he could hold both you and Hunter until all the cops left and it was safe to come out of the panic room.

“I love you, Ope.” You said as you laid your head on his shoulder and made sure Hunter was up right, not smooshed, and comfortably still sound asleep.

“I love you, too baby.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You been sitting here all night?” Your dad asked as he walked over from his house early the next morning. You picked your head up off the rocking chair and shook your head as you slowly pushed yourself back and forth.

“You know my MO, Daddy.” You said as you picked up the slightly cooled cup of coffee, and passed it off to him. 

“Thanks, baby girl.” He sighed as he flopped down in the rocker next to you. “Where’s Hunter?”

“Inside sleeping with Ope.” You said as you picked up your laptop, and hit the spacebar to wake it up. “We got a rat.” Negan’s brow furrowed as he put his coffee down, and took the laptop from you with a sigh. He hit play, and picked up his coffee again as you went back to rocking.

“Son of a fucking bitch.” He groaned as he watched the video. You nodded your head, and grabbed your coffee off the table. 

“Ope gets that we have to go after SAMCRO. I get it, too. It’s just…”

“He wants Jax, and his fucking dad out first.” Negan finished for you as he closed your laptop and leaned back in his rocker. “(Y/N), how fucking sure are you that they aren’t fucking part of this?”

“I’m not.” You said with a look over at him. “I have no fucking idea. But I trust my fiancé. And he trusts Jax and Piney. So I trust them enough to know that getting them out before you go in is worth something.” Negan nodded as he finished his coffee.

“Let me talk to Ope.” He said as he looked into his empty cup. “Fuck, you need to teach Frankie how to fucking make coffee.”

“No.” You said before you finished your cup, looked at the time on your phone, and took your laptop and empty coffee mugs back. “Ope will be up any minute. Go shower, though. You smell like jail.”

“You’re such a pleasant little fucker in the mornings.” Negan said as you both got up and headed in different directions.

“I get from you.” You called out over your shoulder as you walked in to your living room just as Opie was coming down with your whining son. “I got him, baby.” He nodded his head as he continued down the stairs almost in a daze.

“Did you sit out there since four?” He asked as he waited for you to put what was in your hands, down. You nodded your head as you took Hunter from his arms.

“I worry about him, you know?” You said as you walked around the couch and sat down while pulling up one of Opie’s wife beaters that you slept in to feed your son. “He has no one else but me, and Frankie is so self involved she wouldn’t know her ass from her elbow when it comes to anything of use.” You looked up at him as he stepped out on to the back porch to let Creature out, and stood just outside the door so he could smoke his morning cigarette. “Someone’s gotta take care of him, Ope. He does so much for everyone else…”

“I know, baby.” He said with a nod. “I don’t blame you on that. Just… well, next time, can you sit inside the house, and wait like a normal person does?”

“Opie, you and I both know I am no where near fucking sane, thank you.”

“True.” He agreed with a smirk. You flipped him off as Creature walked past him back into the house, and trotted over to join you on the couch. You said hi to him as he walked in a circle twice before curling up into a ball against your hip, and going back to sleep with a snort.

“Dad wants to talk to you.” You informed your husband as he kicked the rock aside and came back into the house. “He’ll probably be back over for breakfast if you wanna jump in the shower. I’ll do French toast, bacon, and eggs for breakfast when Hunter finishes.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He said as he came over and gave you an upside down, chaste kiss. “Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning, my love.”

——

Opie and Negan sat across from each other at your dinner table, the former watching your son in his vibrating baby swing that he loved so much, and scolding Creature when he tried to crawl up in the seat to cuddle with ‘his’ baby like he so desperately wanted to. Negan watched his grandson, trying to figure out exactly how he wanted to word his questions, while you made breakfast.

“I need you to be fucking honest with me, Opie.” He started as he ran his middle ringer around the rim of his coffee mug. “Brutally fucking honest.” You and your fiancé both looked over at him as he pulled his brown eyes away from his grandson and up to Opie. “Say (Y/N) and Hunter are kidnapped tomorrow…”

“Dad!” You shrieked but he held his hand up to stop you, refusing to take his eyes off your fiancé.

“You and I are killed in the fight. Who in SAMCRO do you fucking trust, without a fucking shadow of a doubt, with their lives.” Your fiancé sat up straight, confused and stunned at the question.

“Jax.” He said after a moment with a slight nod of his head. “He’d raise Hunter as his own, watch out and take care of (Y/N). But he wouldn’t walk away from the Sons to do it. The club is his fucking life. I do know though, that he and Clay have completely different opinions on the club’s path. Which is why I can say my old man, and a guy named Chibs would be on that list as well. He and Piney would side with Jax any day of the fucking week. The rest of the club…” He sighed as he ran his fingers through his loose, shoulder length hair. “The rest of the fucking club are loyal to the club. Which means they’re loyal to whoever sits behind that gavel.” Negan nodded his head slowly as you walked over two full plates, and set them down on the table.

“So who do you think is the fucking mastermind behind last nights bullshit?” He asked as he pulled his plate in front of him but didn’t touch it otherwise. 

“That’s got fucking Clay all over it.” Opie said as you came over to top of their coffee mugs, and set your plate down. “Clay is a conniving monster. He’ll sign his fucking soul to the fucking devil if it meant keeping his president patch. If I had to venture a guess, he was the one that made a fucking deal with ATF after your guy found him. I’d say his fucking right hand, Tig had something to do with that shit, too. Fucker hates me.” Negan nodded again as he picked up his coffee mug and took a drink, buying his time to really think his next question through.

“You didn’t turn your fucking back on my daughter, did you?” He asked seriously, hating that he even hard to.

“Never.” Opie said as you growled at your dad around a mouth full of French toast and freshly cut strawberries and banana slices. “She’s the love of my life, my future wife, and the mother of my son. I’d lose every fucking appendage I have then take a fucking bullet before I betrayed her. And that means you as well, since you’re her father. Betraying you hurts her, and I will be no fucking part of that.” Negan nodded his head again, and finally picked up his fork, apparently satisfied with Opie’s answers.

“Call the three. You two are getting married.” Negan said as he gestured toward the swing with his fork. “And get the fucking dog out of the fucking swing.” You and Opie both looked over at Hunter, who was still sound asleep, and Creature, who had managed to crawl up half way on the chair with his back legs and right leg hanging off the edges, and fell asleep so that his body was just barely touching Hunter, but his head was resting protectively above Hunter’s little head.

“Oh, my God that’s the cutest fucking thing.” You said as you got up to grab your phone from the counter.

“Cute or not, he can’t be up on the swing.” Opie said as he finally cut into his own French toast.

“Oh, he’s fine.” You said as you took a few pictures. “It’s his baby, too.”

“Don’t start that shit again, babe.” Opie said around a mouthful of food. “He’s a dog.” You turned around, and stuck your tongue out at Opie with a small sneer.

“They are brothers, and the faster you accept that, the happier I will be.”

“I had the same fight with her mother about our fucking mutt.” Negan said as he purposely kept his eyes down on his plate. “I fucking lost.”

“You’re not fucking helping.” Opie said as you sat back down with a giant smile.

“So when are our sons walking us down the aisle?”

“Shut up, (Y/N)!” Opie snapped as Negan snorted a laugh.

Part 6

[thewondersofsmut]

Baby and a Demon

Request:  I don’t know if like doing Demon Dean but I have had this idea in my head for a while and been to lazy to write it so I’ll make you do it haha :P Okay so the request is a story where the reader (who has been in a relationship with Dean for a while) has sex with Dean while he is a Demon and gets pregnant on to give birth after he becomes human again and doesn’t remember anything. Cas can heal her so she doesnt die and they have a cute little half Demon Dean baby. If you don’t like the idea it’s fine just something I thought of after the whole of season 12-13

Pairings: Demon!Dean x Reader

Warnings: unsafe smut, swearing

Word Count: 3133

I can’t believe I wrote it this long! I hope you like it @writingkeepsmewhole :)< 

You sighed, preparing yourself to witness the mess your usually loving boyfriend has become after becoming a demon. You entered the bar and it was normal except you can see a drunk demon Dean, singing his ass off in karaoke. You rolled your eyes. "Is this all you do, honestly?" You asked as you reached his spot. He stopped his tracks and turned at the sound of your voice. To him, it didn't matter if he was a demon, you are special. "Took you long to look for me, sweetheart." He has a loopy smile as the liquor intoxicated him. "I would've seen a different sight if I went earlier, I assume?" You asked, pertaining about his 'playboy-ness'. "Oh, my love, I don't have time for these bimbos when I know I have a v–very wonderful g–girlfriend that I would like to suck faces with." He said. You cringed a little.

"How 'bout lets get you sober from liquor and from being a demon, huh?" You asked, raising both eyebrows. "No can do, (y/n/n). I have a very important j–job!" He protested. "But what would be nice is if you come with and take care of me." He said, wiggling his eyebrows. "No." You sighed and turned to leave but the next thing you know, you were in a motel room. You knitted your eyebrows, confused. You saw Dean, with his glorious black eyes, flashing you a smile. "Don't leave, I promise I'll behave." His voice was taunting yet captivating. "Dean, I ain't dealing with this shit right now." You scoffed. "But, baby, I'm still your boyfriend." He said, walking up to you, caressing your arm. "Honestly, right now, you're pretty much a demon." You said. He lightly growled and flashed his black eyes at you.

You didn't falter, keeping your head up and fear down. "Alright. Well you're not leaving my side, I don't care if you protest." He said and he was gone. You looked around you and huffed, pretty sure you had no way out of this room, he could've done something. Hours turned into days and you have witnessed how gruesome your Dean could be and yet he comes back to his motel room, smirking at you, respecting that you didn't want to converse with him. No matter how ruthless he was, he was still loving towards you, which strengthens the claim that you knew you and Sam could save him, bring him back as a human. You had a breaking point though and that happened when you had one too many drinks. You swirled the little stirrer in your drink and watched as Dean played darts with some demons. You rolled your eyes and stood up, wanting to go back in your room.

The world stirred in front of you and you were gunna fall straight to the floor if Dean didn't turn to look at you and rushed to catch you. Dean carried you, dropping whatever he was doing to care for you, even as a demon. You looked pale, and definitely had twice the amount of alcohol you should be drinking. He laid you on your side of the bed, and placed a damp towel on your forehead. He clenched his jaw and went on to his demon duties, definitely not wanting to leave you. You groaned as the streak of sunlight hit your face and tried to open your eyes but it hurt too much. You felt heat radiate from something or rather someone beside you and at this point you didn't care, you needed the comfort. Dean watched as you basically cocooned yourself against him and the blanket and he felt a slight tug in his heart. You wanted him, so bad, but you wanted to be strong to get him back to normal but right now, you just wanted him, you didn't care. You left your walls falling at his feet. You reached up, as much as you could without giving yourself a headache and your lips searched his.

Dean was surprised with that action that even as a smug, ruthless demon was scared. But he loved you, you accepted him for who he was or what he has done and the fact that he changed, you were the one who was constant in his heart and in his mind. He caressed your cheek softly as he pulled you in to deepen the kiss, you can feel chills run along your body and your heart aching for his affection. He wrapped his arm around your waist, your body flushed against his. His tongue glided against yours as you let him take lead, to let him dominate you. Your jaw started to clench as the emotion made your heart flutter, your body reacting along with it. It wasn't just a kiss, it didn't feel like a simple deep kiss, you can feel everything and much more, you feel intimately connected to Dean.

His hands traveled to your ass as he squeezed them, making you gasp against his mouth, which he took as an opportunity to deepen the kiss, if it were even possible at this point. You rubbed your legs together as you felt the growing need in between them. He lightly dragged his nails across the expanse of your arched back, groaning as you moaned, taking it as a good sign to do more. You couldn't feel anything but him, his growing hardness in between you and the intense kiss. As his lips parted ways with yours, it only fell to your exposed neck, at this point he wanted everyone to know your his and only his. Kissing, nipping, and sucking that one spot that makes you bite your lip, eyes closed, hands gripping whatever they can. He pushed you towards the bed, laying you on your back, his hand immediately reaching to part your legs, feeling the heat he had caused and he knew it too well.

Your clothes were off in a matter of seconds and that original feeling of intimacy and ache on your heart remained with you as the situation escalates. He rubbed your clit and slid his fingers through the wet folds of your core, your hips bucking up to his touch. His mouth descended to your breasts, sucking each, nipping at the inner flesh, wanting to leave more territorial marks. He growled at the sight of you, his cock twitching to be inside you and more importantly, his heart aching as he panned his view of all of you, only his to enjoy, to cherish, and to worship. He stripped off the clothing he was confined in, climbing on top of yours, putting enough weight on you to let you know he was there. He lifted your legs up to his shoulder, caressing your legs with his fingertips, eliciting sweet moans from you. He slowly slid his throbbing cock inside of your slick pussy, accepting his entirety. A long content sigh escaped your parted lips and he attached his to yours once again.

One by one, he pinned your arms beside your face and watched as you fought to touch him, to feel his body, his muscles moving along with your movements. He thrusted slow and steady, letting you feel all of him from beginning to end, stretching your walls to accommodate his size. Slow and steady pace, his husky voice against your ear was more than enough to bring you to the edge but you were further than that. With each thrust, your heart ached with love, the corners of your eyes lines with hot tears. You opened your eyes to meet Dean's green orbs and it was as if he stared into your soul, letting you know how much love was there with the actions he's showing you. As tears slowly slid the sides of your eyes, he let go of your hands and wiped them gently. Your arms flew to his shoulder, one hand combing through his short hair. Thrust after thrust and you both were near the edge and with one simple three letter words against your lips, you came hard and hot around his now pulsing cock as he gave his own release. He slowly pulled away, his lips never leaving yours, but only giving you such intense kiss to let you slowly climb down your high.

"I still love you." You could faintly hear his voice. It ached you to see him like this and yet you couldn't even be more selfish for being okay with the fact that he wasn't really your Dean but was just happy to hear and see how much he loves you no matter what. But it didn't take long for Sam and Cas to get you and Crowley to give up on Dean's ruthlessness. You were finally back in the bunker, safe and sound, but hurt. Hurt as you heard Dean scream in agony, hurt as he refused to be back to normal even for you. But combined efforts weren't disregarded. As Cas used his power on Dean as he almost went on rampage, the last dose of human blood was injected on him. You stared in horror but slowly the black in his eyes drained and the green orbs you missed shone brighter than ever before.

You cared for him as he laid unconscious in your bed, caressing his stubble that you love. You heard a slight groan and you prepared yourself. His eyes slowly opened to see your face, a true smile. "(Y/n)?" He murmured. "I'm right here, everything is fine." You whispered. You leaned in to kiss him. He reciprocated and you sighed into the kiss, relieved that he was finally back, your Dean. "How are you feeling?" You asked. "I think I'm feeling okay." "I missed you." You whispered. "We were together for most of that journey." You cracked a small smile. "It wasn't the same." You replied. "But you never changed one bit towards me and that gave me hope." You said and he smiled leaning up to you. You pecked his lips and the feeling of normality flushed through your body.

2 months later

It was an easy hunt and yet you didn't know why you were so tired, yes, you have literally stayed up for the past couple of days researching but you felt extremely tired. Once back in the motel, you fell asleep, not even bothering to take off your dirty clothes and Dean watched you lovingly, letting you rest. Morning came and Dean woke up first, to his surprise. You usually woke up first and maybe have gotten breakfast by then. He got up, kissed your head and went to grab some food. A few minutes passed by and you groggily woke up, like you had been drinking the night before. You sat up to look for Dean but your body tried to look for the bathroom. You felt nauseous as you ran to the toilet, practically spilling your guts out as you threw up. You were huffing and coughing and Dean, who was just back from the diner, panicked as he didn't see you in bed. He rushed to the bathroom, seeing you sunken to the floor, head above the toilet. "Babe, you okay?" He asked. You looked behind you and gave a weak smile to Dean. "Yea–" You were cut off by wanting to throw up once again.

Dean held your hair back and supported you. "No, no, you're not okay." He murmured. Once you felt a little better, Dean helped you clean up and the first thing he did was get Sam and Cas in with you two. You were starving at this point and your eyes darted to the plate of food on the table. You grabbed the pancakes and bacon and munched on it, savoring how good it tasted. Dean watched you intently, knowing the possibility as to why you were acting that way. Cas arrived just as Sam entered your room. You looked up from your food and met eyes with Cas. "(Y/n)," He paused to look at you, almost studying you. Dean's nerves rose. "What's up?" Sam asked. "You're pregnant." Cas stated and Dean and Sam gasped while you just froze. "I'm what?" You asked again. "You're pregnant and the baby you're carrying, feels different." He started. Dean held your hand and gave a squeeze as you looked up at him. Cas knelt in front of you. "Mind if I touch your stomach?" He asked and you nodded.

Cas' eyes glowed blue as his hands lay flat on your tummy. "The baby is not full human." He whispered. "I don't understand, what do you mean." You asked, worried. It then dawned on you. "Dean, I think I know why..." You trailed. "What is it, (y/n)?" He asked. "When you were a demon... I never had my pills with me and that one time we, uh, did it..." you didn't even have to finish your statement. Dean hugged you to his chest. "So, Cas, what you're saying is that (y/n) is carrying a half demon baby when Dean was still a demon?" Sam asked. "Possibly so, I don't know how's that possible but it seems like (y/n) is gunna be growing fast." Cas said. "I think it's best if you just stay in the bunker for now." Dean said. "But–" "No buts, babe. I can't– we can't risk your life and our baby's life." He said. There was no room for arguments. "I will make sure you are well, the baby can drain you of your life." Cas said and you nodded. "We better get going then." Sam said and Dean helped you get ready to go back home.

It wasn't easy, you didn't expect it to be. 3 months in and you couldn't fit in any of your clothes, your tummy was growing the slightest every single day. Pain was evident in your eyes and in your cries and Dean grew guilty. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault." He whispered as he caressed your cheek. Tears slowly poured down the side of your face, not from him but the pain you were feeling in your lower abdomen. You lightly chuckled. "It's our baby, it just so happens, that he or she is special." You whispered. He smiled, carefully leaning towards you to peck your lips. "I love you and I will love our baby no matter what." You added. "I love you too. You too little one." He whispered as he placed a hand and looked at your growing belly.

After a week, you looked like you were about to pop and the slight tug of pain was the indication. You ignored it, you felt much worse but as the clock ticked, the pain grew and grew and suddenly, without even feeling a thing, your bed got soaked. Dean woke up from your sudden movements. He shook you awake and that's when you noticed that your water has broken. He was quick on his feet, yelling for Sam to wake up and get the car ready. Dean was praying for Cas, not like he has ever prayed for him before. He popped in as Dean was carrying you to the Impala. You were sweating, from fear, from contractions, from giving birth. Minutes passed, Sam, driving as fast as he could without endangering your lives, you were slowly getting drained. You looked weak, your face thinning. Cas placed his hand on your head, fighting the power of your child.

Everything was a blur when you arrived at the hospital, the screams of Dean to hurry up was overpowered by the look of worry and his hand tight on yours. You were screaming in pain as you delivered your baby. Your heart was slow but Dean knew Cas would save you, heal you from all these. Not an hour in and the doctor has announced the birth of yours and Dean's healthy baby boy. You heard his cries and you sighed in relief, the pain of it all disappearing in a second as you held him in your arms, Dean right by your side all along. Once you were transported to your room, Cas visited you with a soft smile. He placed his fingers on your forehead and you felt a course of energy flow through you, healing you to perfect condition. Dean thanked him that you were fine and your baby's fine.

With Cas' help, you were out of the hospital in no time. A couple of weeks ago, Dean had convinced you that you two decorate the room right beside yours. You both thought to decorate it in reds, a tiny pop of black and whites, and earthy colors. There was a bookshelf, a guitar, and a small version of the impala. You rocked in the chair as you cradled your child, watching Dean finished last few decorations. "He's so beautiful, Dean." You cooed at your child. "Of course, we made him." He smirked towards your direction, making you snicker. "Hi, little Bobby." You tickled him and he giggled loud and for the first time, you saw his eyes glow a soft black. You gasped.

"What's wrong?" Dean hurried towards your side. "His eyes they– they were black." Your voice came out a little strangle. Bobby looked towards his dad, smiling happily. "Hi little one." He cooed grabbing him from your arms. He giggled and once again, flashed his black eyes. Dean swallowed a lump of his throat. "He will be wanted." You said. Dean looked at you and agreed. "But we're his parents and I know for a fact that we will fight no matter what or who to protect him." He replied. You both heard a soft knock and Sam, along with Cas, were at the door way. "How can we protect him?" You asked Cas. "I can sense how strong he is, how he knows who to trust." He replied. When I healed you the first time, I felt him push me out but with time, he grew to trust me and knew I was helping you." Cas replied.

"If he knows who to trust, I think he can do so much more than we all can." He said. "He's a baby, Cas. I don't think he can physically protect himself." Sam said. "And that's where we come in, but we can't ward him. He is part demon, a knight of hell, since you were turned into one, Dean." Cas said. You caressed Bobby's cheek as he giggled in Dean's arms. "No matter what, little one, mommy, daddy, and uncle Sam and uncle Cas would be here to protect you and love you." You cooed. The three men nodded in agreement, watching him. Bobby gave a big laugh and smile, his eyes softly glowing black.

[vegafiction]

Hey there! Thanks for the Voltron Bad Things Happen bingo ficlets. Would you be able to do an Isolation for Lance? It seems like the thing that would suck the most for him. Maybe he's lost in the wilderness on a dangerous world and has to wait for the rest of the team to find him. Doesn't have to be shippy, but I'm cool with klance if that's you're preference (that was the only ship I noticed was in the tags).

Count: ~1.2kPairing: N/AChara(s): LanceFandom: VoltronPrompt: IsolationWarning(s): None

So, I didn’t add a ship in this. It’s mostly Lance-centric, none of the other Paladins show up because I was interested in exploring his mental deterioration as a result of prolonged isolation. I made a note on Ao3 about it so I’ll include it here: Lance’s perception of Red in this is skewed by prolonged isolation and constant stress from having to survive on an alien planet. It’s up to you to believe whether or not Red’s decision here was the right one.

I feel like this could have been way better but I’m not going to force my brain to push out anything else this late at night. >_

Get your own card @badthingshappenbingo

Ko-Fi | Ao3 | Masterlist | Request

He tore through the forest as fast as his legs could carry him. He was mindful of the upturned roots or the low hanging branches that whipped past his face or just barely grazed his cheek, but he couldn’t afford to slow down. He clutched his damaged gun close to his chest, his breathing harsh as he forced his legs to pump faster. The loud roar of the creatures behind him carried through the sky. They didn’t sound close, but they weren’t far enough for him to rest.

Lance jumped off a small ledge and slid down the muddy wall until the momentum bounced him off the wall. He stumbled into a small creek, splashing and spraying water all along the length of his sore legs. He continued running.

He didn’t stop until the planet’s three moons drifted into the sky. He slid down another hill then, finally, collapsed safely inside a cave opening.

He gasped for air, feeling his lungs and body burn from the strenuous effort of trying to survive in a world that desperately wanted to kill him. 

There were dragons on this planet – large, impressive, dangerous beasts who took one sent of Lance and decided he was something they would have for dinner. In other circumstances, Lance would have been in awe. They were gorgeous creatures, ancient and mystical, but terribly temperamental and vicious. He’d encounter a few who had been friendly to him; a very small herd he wished he had stayed close to. Their alpha had been the one to save him from the ravenous wolves Lance had accidentally stumbled upon, but most of the dragons on this planet were quite unfriendly.

Some of them had even managed to break his bayard.

Lance rolled onto his back with a pained groan. His muscles screamed in protest with every movement he made, but lying there, so close to the entrance of the cave, would give him away. He forced himself to his knees and crawled further into the cave.

Deep inside, Lance allowed himself to collapse onto the makeshift bed he had fastened from the leaves of the trees and other fibers. He dropped his damaged bayard beside him and turned to the wall.

Lines were etched into the solid rock. There were four lined together as neatly as possible with another slashing diagonally across. Lance picked up a sharpened rock from the ground and scratched a new line beside the others. There were six lines now.

He sighed.

“It’s been thirteen quintants since I’ve been on this planet,” he said to the silence, eyeing the tally marks. His eyes trailed upward toward the ceiling. A sense of dread washed over him. “I really hope I don’t have to fill up this whole wall.”

He tossed the rock aside and, with much discomfort, rose to his feet. He gathered wood and tinder from the far corner and tossed them into the fire pit. He lit a fire through the sparking of rocks then shuffled around the cave for his supply of food.

His first few days surviving alone on this planet had been… unpleasant. He’d gone hungry for three days before he finally managed to kill a few of the smaller beasts. He learned the hard way what berries were edible and which ones were poisonous. (He’d been lucky the poisonous berries were not potent.)

Finding the cave alone had been a blessing. Everything else was pure survival instinct.

“You know, I bet if the others were here, they’d be really impressed.” He grinned to the fire. It flickered and crackled in response. “I know right? I bet they never would expect me to survive out here on my own, but hah! I managed to survive thirteen quintants with just my bayard!”

At the mention of the broken weapon, Lance felt his good mood grow somber.

The flames sizzled.

“It’s my fault. I should’ve been more aware of where the dragons were.” Just like it’s my fault I’m here in the first place.

He propped a berry into his mouth and chewed.

Are they even looking for you? It’s been thirteen days.

“I’m sure they’re looking. They probably… they probably can’t find Red’s coordinates. Once they find him, they’ll find me.”

But you’re nowhere near the Red Lion. Even if they find it, they won’t find you.

Lance shifted uncomfortably in his place, suddenly burdened by the harsh reality that was the Red Lion.

Why hadn’t the Red Lion activated on its own? Whenever Keith was in danger, the lion would act on its own volition and yet, when Lance had been faced with a life or death situation, the giant, mechanical lion had just… remained frozen. It was as though he were unfazed by the fact that Lance’s life was on the line. Like Lance’s life held no importance in the lion’s eyes because he simply was not Keith.

Lance’s brows furrowed as realization dawned on him.

That had to be it. That had to be the reason why. He was not Keith. He wasn’t the skilled fighter pilot Red had chosen at the beginning of their unwanted adventure. Lance was just… Lance, a bottom of the barrel cargo pilot who barely scraped by in the Garrison.

He wasn’t some cool, edgy half-human, half-galra fighter. He wasn’t Keith. He could never be Keith, and maybe… that was why Red had chosen to remain frozen. They were just complete opposites.

Where Lance failed, Keith excelled. He’d been chosen by Red, deemed the only one who could control the lion’s unruly nature. Then, he’d been chosen by the Black Lion as their new leader in Shiro’s absence. And even when he’d willingly gave away the position back to Shiro upon his return, the Black Lion still chose him as their leader. It still obeyed his every command, just like Red, just like the others do.

Maybe Red saw something in him that it doesn’t see in you. Said the voice in his head. Or maybe it sees exactly who you really are: a rotten kid from Cuba and unworthy of being a Paladin.

Lance stared blankly into the flickering flames. He felt the heat of the fire caress his skin, warming his cold, exhausted body. He hadn’t realized he’d been shivering until then.

He tossed another piece of wood into the flames.

“Sometimes I wonder if Blue only chose me to get to Allura.” Suddenly, he chuckled. “Imagine that? A lion using me to get to a girl. I guess that can still happen out in space.” He laid back onto his hands, eyes unseeing. “Maybe I’m exactly where I need to be? Blue doesn’t need me anymore. I’m not worthy to pilot the Black Lion and Red just doesn’t seem to like me. Maybe this was my destiny the whole time, getting stuck on an alien planet, far away from home.”

Tears welled in his eyes, but he refused to shed them.

At least you won’t be a burden to them anymore.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

He rubbed his weary eyes with the heel of his palms as a yawned ripped itself from his throat. He crawled back to his pile of leaves and curled onto his side, facing the flames. A part of him wondered if he should snuff it out, it seemed dangerous to fall asleep with an open flame. Yet, he chose not to move. He remained where he laid, watching the fire dance among the shadows until his vision blurred into darkness and the only thing left in his mind was the fuzzy visage of the Red Lion.

[queencryo]

jalright, time for journal post three. That’s right folks, I’m STILL a fucking idiot loser.

So! two days ago. Silly didn’t have work, so we made a plan to meet with her mom for Something (she wouldn’t tell me what it was) at 4. As it turns out, we were actually meeting at 530. Unappreciated, but I guess fair to get us ready on time-ish.

Anyway, we met her mom, and went to this... chinese light show thing at the nearby convention center. It was very nice, I took some pictures of it that probably won’t be put here. Wireframe with cloth (or something) stretched over it, lights on the understructure, rather than anything inflatable like I had expected. but woo!

it was very pretty. And a nice experience! A little chily, but not nearly as bad as I’d been told to prepare for (was fine with a hoodie. “ooo wear an Actual Coat bluh bluhhh” my ass)

Then went to this nearby pizza place. Apparently im the one of us three that liked fried mushrooms (they were gooddddd), I stole a lot of silly’s fries (they were very good in ranch), the pizza itself was good, if expensive. I enjoyd spending time with her mom (something something I HOPE it’s not moving too fast to, like, think about “oh what if she’s my mother in law someday, but hey)

Went to half price books, cuz who DOESNT love half price books (books at half price!), I picked up a gift for socks and oboeist. Not much else caught my interest (except the book I got socks :eyes:). I did follow around this group of nerd fuckers, who were apparently talking about completing their naruto manga collections. It was fun being around people being happy about what they do, but then one of them had my deadname and another said “haha hey I’m gonna buy this transamerica dvd” as a joke (it’s a movie about a trans woman, form 2006. never seen it, looks neat. damn. 2006), so actually fuck them and I hope they burn in hell. Stupid fucking alternate universe me. (I think that was the one with long brown hair so. alternate unverse me?)

Silly wandered around for a while. I don’t remember everything she was looking for or saw, but I remember her interest in the metroid fusion gba cartridge, a copy of house of leaves, and and a book of poetry from a writer I unfortunately don’t remember. Sorry love :C

Skipping to next day.

Wake up, time to begin preparing for meetup with silly’s gf (bein poly is weird and fun). We plan to meet her at an asian place near here.

Silly convinces me to wear the top I don’t like (as it makes clear the fact that I have an undesirable amount of belly fat). I also wore it with the black maxi skirt that was one of the first female clothings I bought, and some like. blue fuckin 3-nch heels that weren’t nearly as bad to walk in as I thought. she says I looked very good, I think I kinda believe her!!!

so. On the way to the asian place, we meet gf there, she says its closed. It’s NOT closed, but the wait is like. an hour. So we decide instead to go to red robin. Also! gf is cute, she’s nice and stuff. we get along downright decentwell!

The drive to red robin sucks, and it wasn’t very good. I didn’t spend it in the (very cluttered) back seat, though, so... I guess I have that.

Red Robin was good. they had fried pickles!! and a very cheesy burger sily and gf made fun of me for putting ketchup on :C I like ketchup : Cand cheesy borger. The steak fries, bottomless, were VERY good dipped in ranch, omg. honk ;)

Uh... skp forward... return form red robin. We started a game of commander I don’t rememberwhat gf and silly were playing, but they were both largely blue decks. I don’t remember the whole game, but I was playing the snake deck, which actually went QUITE well for me. I board-wiped twice, at one point countering silly’s counters TWICE to get that gorgon’s board-wipe-non-gorgons thing going. So like. that was FUN. the game took like 2 or something hours in total, and it was fun! it was nice feeling like something of a contender for once.

but yeah it went so long that we had to pause it to go to silly’s friend’s place for new year’s eve. it was fun! got my ass kicked at trivia, but I did not n bad at the space ships part! I am a big nerd. it is what I do. kissed silly on the midnight!

Came back to silly’s place, finished the game, watched monty python, went to bed. Silly seemed to like cuddling TWO gfs. woo! it was warm. I fell asleep within moments.

Skipping to today! Uh... what DID happen today... oh yeah!@ I woke up, and gf was trying to see if she was gonna be fired for forgetting to lock up the store last night, and then silly called off work So we played another game of magic, then retired downstairs to watch... i don’t remember, I know dragon maid, but I think there was some other stuff too? Probably some other stuff. I ain’t smart lmfao

Got $35 worth of pizza from pizza hut. It was fucking amazing (I feel bad for letting gf pay, but then after I paid for her lyft so? I guess it’s not nothing). We’ve gone through most of it already, but there’s still a little of the two liter and the pineapple and meaty pizzas left. AND I got like.50 pizza hut reward points. SO that’s pretty fuckin hot.

Watched more movies, then gf left. Me and silly continued hanging out, I played ds3 (up to the great swamp by now! woo), called with socks and HER gf for like a couple hours I think? I feel bad for being so. Uncouth and weird while talking to them. Here is hoping forgiveness is given, but understood if it is not.

And now silly is asleep. What a fool what a fool. Very sweet. I love her. At one pint during the call socks did not know what was happening because I was overcome with love for her because she is so beautiful.

Let’s see... anything else? oh! I used a women’s restroom for the first time ,and also the waitress at rede robin called us ladies, so that was fun and nice!

Socks and silly BOTH say that I shold not be using a mace as my main weapon in ds3, meaning I will DEFINITELY be using it as my main weapon through the end of the game. Fuck god, and also both of you (idrythyll straight sword can be a backup, though. Think I finally have enough twinkling titanite to get that funky little fucker up and running. Maybe.)

[lovebunnie]

nick carraway and jay gatsby are both gay and heres why

its 11:30 at night and i have class tomorrow but ive been itching to make this post for about a week so im gonna do it. this wont be centered as much around jay and nick being in LOVE, since id have to read and analyze it a bit more to make honest to god claims and opinions for that, but these r some of the reasons that point to both of these characters being completely gay. also, im going to be issuing some points from others sources, but ill include links to the original texts which i recommend reading!

1

so the great gatsby was written in 1925, a time full of alcohol, financial bliss, and parties like u would not believe. many of these themes are prevalent in the novel, making themselves known all throughout. even the term ‘gatsby-like’ is extremely well known. needless to say, this book is extremely well known in every front. one of the ones i saw the most was calling the great gatsby ‘the greatest love story ever written.’ and before i read the novel myself, i wouldnt have been able to tell u any different. but when u read it, and really, how u analyze it, really shapes how u see the characters. to some people, it really could be an amazing love story. but to me, this story is written about someone obsessed with a facade, denying himself who he is, and a man who watches his downfall and can do nothing to stop him.

one very important thing to acknowledge is how this novel is told: its told completely in nicks perspective. we only know how he feels, we only know these characters based on how nick sees them. it is immediately biased towards nick. and what he does is describe a hell of a lot of people. but it is very distinctive in the way he does it; men and women are very differently described.

nick describes daisy in her voice and the power it has over people. all of nicks flowery language goes into daisys speech, but not in great length about what daisy looked like. with jordan, nick does a bit more describing in the way she is ‘small-breasted’ and had the ‘shoulders of a young cadet.’ these traits are masculine, and we know from the novel that nick does enjoy jordans company and he does say he ‘enjoys looking at her.’ hell, even the name ‘jordan’ is traditionally masculine. nick sees jordan leaning more towards masculinity than femininity. but even still, the flowery language is not as grand as it could be, not as we know nick can get.

its when nick is describing men that things get bold and expressive. even while describing tom does nick go into great and intimate length with him;  ‘ He had changed since his Haven years. Now he was a sturdy straw haired man of thirty with a rather hard mouth and a supercilious manner. Two shining arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face and gave him the appearance of always leaning aggressively forward. Not even the effeminate swank of his riding boots could hide the enormous power of that body he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing, and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage -- a cruel body’ the author of this paper literally said this passage ‘pulses with sexual energy,’ and this is for a character nick doesnt even like. it obviously means more in the way nick describes him, has more heart and passion put into it.

and now gatsby, who nick, in the final chapters, dwells on even more. we know gatsby is attractive, that much we can tell without nick even really having to describe him. but even in a single paragraph about his smile does it provoke more feeling than anything else about daisy or jordan;  ‘ He smiled understandingly-- much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you might come across four or five times in your life. It faced --or seemed to face-- the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.’

like. damn nick. this is only about gatsbys smile. this was no accident or cruel twist of fate; nick is enamored with jay and obviously finds him attractive and also enjoys looking at him, like jordan. nick sees men and women differently. this could be chocked up to ‘it was the olden days’ and ‘sexism,’ but nick isnt rude to these women, nick is simply not interested in them, at all.

but how do we know nick is gay? wheres the textual proof? its written out word for word, you just have to know where to look. and where to look is at the very end of chapter 2.

so chapter 2 does a lot for the plot; it basically introduces nick to the life these people live and makes him see how unappealing it is. we meet a large cast of characters and expand on others, like myrtle, her sister, and most importantly to the subject of nicks sexuality, mr. mckee.

mr. mckee is described as a ‘pale feminine man’ and nick offhandedly describes the smudge of shaving cream on his cheek. weird right? later in the night, nick describes himself as ‘ Taking out my handkerchief I wiped from his cheek the remains of the spot of dried lather that had worried me all the afternoon.’ nick has been LOOKING at this married man all night and cleaned him up when he was messy like come ON. plus, a ‘pale feminine man’ could very easily be a stereotype of a gay man, especially in the 1920s.

but then comes the most important part about nicks sexuality in the entire book: the ellipses.

the great gatsby is relatively short, only about 200 pages or so, give or take. fitzgerald would not include anything he wouldnt need, as he is also an expert in metaphors and making things seem as they are not. everything is masterfully placed and paced, making it seem to flow like water. 

the scene in question describes mr. mckee and nick on an elevator, leaving the party. mr. mckee walked out, leaving his wife, and nick decided to follow. heres the scene:

Come to lunch some day,” he suggested, as we groaned down in the elevator.

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

“Keep your hands off the lever,” snapped the elevator boy.

“I beg your pardon,” said Mr. McKee with dignity, “I didn’t know I was touching it.”

“All right,” I agreed, “I’ll be glad to.”

. . . I was standing beside his bed and he was sitting up between the sheets, clad in his underwear, with a great portfolio in his hands.

“Beauty and the Beast . . . Loneliness . . . Old Grocery Horse . . . Brook’n Bridge. . . . ”

Then I was lying half asleep in the cold lower level of the Pennsylvania Station, staring at the morning Tribune, and waiting for the four o’clock train.

LIKE. WHAT.

those ellipses separate the time between nick and mr. mckee on the elevator and nick and mckee at his home, with one in underwear and then nick leaving for the train at 4am. there is a large gap of time missing from this, and nick decided to leave it out while fitzgerald decided to keep it in. it means something, and the use of ellipses gives the audience enough to know what is happening without explicitly telling them. it is the authors ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ to the audience. think of the environment nick was in; tom was cheating with myrtle, the heavy metaphor of the eyes watching over the sins we think no one can see. this party was full of mischief and nick fucked a married man.

mckee does not seem intoxicated, he invites nick out to lunch while gripping the elevator handle, which are always objects shaped like dicks. plus in the novel, the scene does feel somewhat out of place; nick does not spend too much time discussing the interactions between mckee and himself, it seems thrown in. i get the impression that nick almost didnt want to include it it his writing, and put it in last minute. however, nick is fictional and i dont have much to go on off from an almost 100 year old book. its open to personal interpretation, but it seems like nick and mckee had sex and nick left on the 4am train, leaving mckee in his underwear at his own home looking through his pictures.

even at the beginning of the novel, nick is planning on living in a house with another man before the plan falls through and he goes to washington dc. could this be a failed boyfriend? we cant say. but it is a possibility.

nick carraway ends the novel mourning his friend jay gatsby, moving back to the midwest alone and away from the glitz and glam of new york. his ending does not involve getting married and having kids and riding off into the sunset, which seems bittersweet for our narrator. however, given the way things planned out for other characters, this is the best ending we could hope for for nick, one away from the destruction and one where he can at least begin to to to be happy again.

and now we move onto jay.

ill admit, this has little to do with textual evidence; i cant point out a place where jay fucks a dude or describe the way jay sees men and women; with nick being our narrator, again, he only know his perspective. but we do hear things about jay from other characters, how he acts and acted before nick and the type of man he is.

wolfshiem describes jay as ‘ very careful about women. He would never so much as look at a friend’s wife.’ this means that jay knows women and knows when to back off, never advancing on someone he had no claim to. this is very important to me for several reasons.

1. it implies jay is not a cheater

2. it implies jay has been around enough women to know who is who

3. it shows jay is respectful

this also says to me that jay is not bi; he only has eyes for daisy, and not other woman. and those eyes for daisy are questionable.

we know daisy and jay had last seen each other 5 years prior to the events of the novel. in that time, jay had collected numerous things about daisy, built a house just so he could see her, and blew thousands of dollars every weekend for parties in hope that daisy would show up, even obtaining money illegally just to impress daisy.

jay gatsby is obsessed with daisy.

this is obvious from the text, the behaviors he puts forward are strange and creepy in pursuit of daisy. gatsby stares longingly out the window, cant hold a conversation with nick, and flat out bolts out of a restaurant to avoid embarrassment. he is an awkward guy, no doubt. and he lives his life as trying to be someone else, specifically, the man he thinks daisy wants from 5 years ago. when the car crashes with myrtle, all gatsby cares about is how daisy feels; when hes literally about to get ganked all he thinks about is daisy, daisy daisy daisy.

this isnt love, and i think deep down, jay knows it. this is the equivalent of dudebros who go above and beyond to prove they arent gay but end up the most gay of them all. gatsby is compensating for his feelings and trying to push the limit to deny himself more and hide back into the closet. he wants to seem the most manly he can get and basically say ‘wow i love women! i love women so much! look what i did for this woman! look at how much i love her!’

daisy is the first person jay felt he could be himself around, could begin to feel happy. and when he went to war, he no longer had something to push all his feelings onto. plus he was surrounded by other men, and for someone so in denial about their own sexuality, it probably drives them to pretty bad places. pretty obsessive places. he needs daisy, not because he loves her, but because he needs to security blanket. he needs to feel validated.

those glaces and stares out at nick feel like cracks of the real jay poking through, one who likes men but cannot admit it to himself. after all, as a man so attached and desperate for the ‘american dream,’ back in the 1920s, that did not include marrying a man. jay lives with internalized homophobia and tries to calm his nerves with his pretend love of daisy.

i could go on and on about this forever but its 12:30 and i have class.

if u take nothing from this, let me leave u with these main bullets:

TL;DR

nick fucked a dude

nick describes men erotically while he describes women very dully

nick almost lived with another man

jay is obsessed with daisy to repress his emotions

the separation and wartime made things worse for him

his internalized homophobia causes the plot

his longing stares out the window at nick are cracks in his facade

ty and goodnight

[ellanainthetardis]

prompt : effie and haymitch at home and effie hurts herself and starts crying and doesnt stop crying and haymitch tries to do something to make her stop crying because he cant take it when she cries

Here you are! [x]

A Crisis & Redecoration Plans

Haymitch lazily scratched his stubble coveredcheek and stared at the coffeemaker brewing his daily dose of caffeine as if itheld all the answers to the universe.

He often did that in the morning: watch the oldrusty machine work and wonder how his life had taken such a drastic turn thathe was now full time responsible for two kids and a woman, all that littleworld not quite sane. The kids he mostly knew how to deal with. Effie… It wasanother story.

He was trying, learning, but ever since she had showed up on his doorstep with herproverbial tail between her legs… It had been… difficult.

Effie wasn’t dealing and he was surprised shehad lasted so long on her own in the city to begin with. He wasn’t sure how tohelp and he wasn’t even sure she wantedhelp. She had been forced to come to him because she had nowhere else to stayand because she was so much in debts she needed money – and admitting thathadn’t exactly been smooth sailing on her part. He didn’t care about the money.That had been the easy problems tosolve.

She had triggers as long as the arm and everytime he opened his mouth he was afraid he would put his foot in it.

She never left the house. Some days, she neverleft the guestroom. Every time the kids were around she was all smiles and pretences,a quick reassurance here and an obvious lie there – because if she was still inpajamas at four in the afternoon it wasn’t because she hadn’t found the will toget dressed but because Haymitch had fucked up the laundry, of course. She had panic attacks. Shesuffered from flashbacks. She was full of contradictions he wasn’t sure how tonavigate – and he didn’t think she knew how to navigate them either – like thefact that she wanted the front and back doors locked but hated feelingconfined…

He didn’t have the best sleeping schedule. Heusually spent half the night up and only went to bed when the sun was about torise only to get up at noon. Effie’s sleeping schedule was erratic. On the daysshe actually managed to get out of bed, she stuck to a strict routine that wasbordering of obsessive and that involved a lot of cleaning. Seriously. His house had never been that clean, not even when Hazelle hadstill worked for him. They could have eaten on the floor. She went to bed ateleven on the dot every night and slept with the lights on. She had nightmares.Very bad ones. Sometimes she let him comfort her, hold her until she fell backasleep… Other times she couldn’t bear to be touched and instead she grabbedwhatever cleaning product was the closest.

He had gotten used to her cleaning at night andhe had kissed his own habits goodbye. He was too scared of leaving her byherself, he was too scared of what she would do although he had never reallyvoiced that worry out loud. He had snooped through her things to make sure shedidn’t have sleeping pills and he had made sure there was nothing stronger thanaspirin in the house. The liquor… He kept his stock in the shed for now. Hesimply didn’t like the self-destructive spark in her eyes.

So he forced himself to go to bed around thesame time she did. If his own nightmares didn’t wake him up, hers did. Or herroaming the house.

Nevertheless that was how he had gotten in thehabit of getting up at ungodly hours – early enough to see Katniss sneak out ofher house and to the woods – staring at his coffeemaker and hoping it wouldsomehow magically give him the answers to his very complicated life.

It would be much easier if she actually talked to him. She had come to Twelve,to him, and he wanted to believe it meant something.However he was also acutely aware that he had been her last resort and that sheresented her hand being forced. They hadn’t parted on the best terms. There hadbeen a lot of things unsaid and unacknowledged about his role in her captureand imprisonment. Things she had thought and hadn’t voiced. Things he shouldhave clarified but had been too scared to face. It wasn’t all forgiven yet. Shestill blamed him to some extent. They would get through it in time. Probably. Maybe. They had always hurt each otherand they had always moved on. Granted, being captured and tortured by theCapitol took the cake but… Effie alwaysforgave.

He should apologize, he thought and thecoffeemaker made that clicking noise that Katniss insisted meant it wouldexplode soon.

“Does that mean yeah or no?” he muttered butthe machine, traitor that it was, suddenly fell silent. He sighed and pouredhimself a mug, filling it to the brim. He was about to add a dash of moonshinewhen the crash echoed throughout the house.

He was out of the kitchen and in theliving-room before he even knew he had moved, worried that Effie had had aflashback or something.

She had been asleep on the couch when he hadwalked downstairs, having probably sunk there after one of her nightly cleaningsprees.

Now she was crouching in front of the smalltable next to the couch, fumbling with the broken pieces of the lamp that hadbeen in the house as long as he could remember. The good one, too. The one thathe used to read late into the night because it was the brightest.

She looked up at him, a mix of dismay and… fear on her face. “I’m sorry. I’m sosorry. I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to… I thought it might look better overthere and… I shouldn’t have touched it. I’m sorry, Haymitch. I…”

“Breathe.” he ordered, warily crouching infront of her. He didn’t dare touch her. Her pupils were blown, her moves werejerky and her breathing was loud. It wouldn’t take much to send her over theedge and into a full panic attack.

“I’m sorry.” she repeated. “I’m so…”

“It’s okay.” he cut her off again. “It’s just afucking lamp, sweetheart.”

“I shouldn’t have tried to move it.” She shookher head, still picking up pieces as if she could fix it by simply holdingthem, as if it would somehow glue them back together. “I… This isn’t my house.I shouldn’t move things and…”

“You’re welcomed to move things.” he shrugged.“It’s your house too now, okay? You can move stuff. Hell, you’re welcome tochange the curtains even.”

The brown drapes on the living-room windowswere eaten by moths and every year they looked worse and worse. He wouldn’thave minded taking them down.

And, to be honest, the fact that she wanted tomake it a little more to her tastes made him feel relieved. That was more likethe Effie Trinket he knew.

“Really?” she asked uncertainly, almost shy.

It might have ended right there, he might havemanaged to coax her into the kitchen to eat some breakfast, if she hadn’t cutherself on a broken piece of faience.

“Shit.”he spat immediately, cradling her injured hand between his own, forgetting allabout not trying to touch her so he wouldn’t spook her. It was a deep gash buthopefully not deep enough that it would need stitches. He could already guesshow it would go if he tried to drag her to the hospital anyway so he decidedthey would wait and see. “It’s alright, sweetheart. Come upstairs with me,yeah? I’ve got a first aid kit in my room.”

And he kept it stocked in case Peetaaccidentally hurt one of them or himself during an episode.

Effie didn’t give any hint that she intended tostand up though. She was staring at her palm and at the blood pooling there,her face blank…

Trigger, he deduced, not quite surprised.

“Effie.” he called gently. “Tell me where youare.”

She was silent for almost a whole minute.“Twelve. With you. Safe.”

“Good.” he praised. “Let’s get this cleaned upand bandaged, yeah? Out of sight, out of mind.” She looked up at him and he wasstartled to see her eyes full to the brim with tears. He could only watch, struck,as they rolled down her cheek. “What’s wrong?” he worried, dropping from hiscrouching position to his knees so he could get closer to her. “Does it hurtthat bad?”

She shook her head and started sobbing.

Full earnest sobs that sounded painful.

If there was one thing he truly hated, it was seeing her cry. He had always hated it. Even inthe beginning, when he had still hated her… A crying Effie was a rare thing andall the better for him. It made him mad with helplessness.

“What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong… I’ll fixit. I promise, I’ll fix it.” he pleaded, feeling powerless and hating thefeeling. This was all his fault. If he hadn’t failed her… If he had…

“I’m so sorry I broke your lamp…” she gaspedbetween two sobs.  

He blinked at that. Of all the things…

“I don’t care about the fucking lamp.” he grumbled, annoyed that she wasn’t getting it.“It’s just a thing. This house’s full of things I don’t care about.” She criedharder at that and he realized how it sounded so he placed his hand on hershoulder and, when she didn’t protest, let it travel to her nape… He squeezedgently like he used to do, like she used to like. Affection, comfort,possessiveness… That small gesture had conveyed so much over the years… “You’rethe only thing in here I fucking careabout. I promise you. I’ll prove it. Look.”

He stood up and grabbed the closest thing thatfell under his hand. It turned out to be the ugly miniature of a cat –something that had come with the house too and that he had never bothered tossingaway. He felt a sense of satisfaction when it shattered on the floor. He shouldhave done that years earlier. A lot of things had fallen prey to his drunkenrage since he had won his Games but there were still so much shit that the Capitol had consideredtasteful decoration back in the day…

She gasped when the miniature exploded, herlips pursing into a sad pout. “I liked it.”

He rolled his eyes. Of course she did.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” he declared,carefully helping her to her feet. She held her hand up but blood trickled tothe floor and she blanched. She was still crying but less. “I’ll buy you a newlamp too. You can pick, even.”

“Can I pick new curtains too?” she sniffed, herinterest clearly piqued.

“Sure.” he caved, steering her upstairs.“Curtains, lamps, furniture… Whatever. Nothing pink and we’re good.”

She considered that when he prompted her to saton his unmade bed and ran to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. She hadlost interest by the time he was wrapping the bandage around her hand. Shedropped her head against his shoulder when he was done and he remained still,not wanting to spoil the moment. She sought him for comfort sometimes but itwas rare. She was too confused, he thought, she didn’t know how to accept orrequest his help.

“I’m too tired now but maybe later.” sheoffered.

“Sure.” he repeated, tentatively brushing astrand of hair behind her ear. “I mean it though. It’s your house too now.”

A small fragile thing of a smile floated on herlips.

It wasn’t much but it was enough to make hisday brighter.

[the-little-red-noodle]

7/24/19 12:09am

“Wish i could get a little undrunk so i could uncall you at 5 in the morning, i would unfuck you..”

i guess its that time of the night where we process some shit before my sleeping pill makes me too high to type. 

mark and i hooked up. it actually happened?.. i’m feeling a lot of things but also pretty reserved, as far as things go with me. i’m not leaping into the romancey shit like I usually do. i’m actually pretty unhappy about it, actually.

i’ve been thinking about this moment for so long.. how it would feel to finally be with him and kiss him and say the things i’ve been feeling, and oh god, to hear it back? i should be happy.. im not happy.

there’s so much on the line here.. it’s not just some friend either.. our friendship was, and is, really important to me. i weighted it above other things, and now i feel like i just threw it all away for selfish reasons. i wanted to feel loved and i wanted to be touched and i wanted to touch him and i wanted to have the satisfaction of knowing he felt the same.. i wanted the euphoria of the calm before the sex where everything’s out on the table and we feel the same way and we’re holding our breath seeing who will make the first move and i just.. 

i think i regret it a little bit..

i think i’ve been selfish about it, cuz its what i wanted and what i have wanted for honestly a really long time but kept to myself cuz there was no way in the world that he would go for someone like me and there’s no way that someone as plain as me could captivate someone like him beyond just sex.. but we didn’t even have sex?.. 

lemme explain.

last night i went out to a drag show with friends, and it was so wonderful and fun and raunchy and just what i needed. it was a confidence boost (even if i struck out with a girl at the bar, i still tried!) and i got back to the frat house at 1am, drunk and confident and ready to push my limits with him.

we hung out for hours in the spare room, me being way too flirty and touchy with him and him being respectful but present.. we talked until i sobered up and we were laying in bed and the lights are off and he names the people he would have sex with in the frat and im not on the list and i feel uneasy and he talks about having a thing for people in the frat and i ask if he ever had a thing for me and he says yes, a while ago. the beginning of rush, over a year and a half ago. and he asks me if i ever had a thing for him and my face feels so hot and i shut my eyes

“you want my honest answer?”

“..yeah”

“.. i kinda still do.”

and he was quiet for so long and i felt so shitty about it and felt like i made things super weird and i said sorry and he was like no yer fine, which made me feel kinda worse.. i changed the subject and we talked about something else for a bit and then he got quiet again so i asked what was on his mind

“just what you said”

“i’m sorry..”

“don’t be. i’m glad you said something. I’ve been kinda feeling the same way for a while and didn’t know what to do about it.” 

i say something to the effect of i was trying to bury it because i didn’t want to fuck up the friendship, and he says he felt the same. and we lay there motionless for a while, staring at the ceiling. everything’s out in the open. cards on the table. breathing.

i move my head to his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around me and my hands are on his chest and our legs are tied up and we just hold each other. silence. breathing. squeezing.

i say “is this stupid? is this dangerous territory?” he says he doesn’t know. 

he asks how long I’ve felt this way, and i say for months probably. it was part of the reason i wanted to end my relationship with spencer, because i was having feelings for someone else.. we lay there. silence. breathing.

he pulls me in closer and holds me so tightly. he says he feels really happy. 

we stay there until he falls asleep and i slip out of his arms cuz i cant sleep tangled up. it takes me a while but i eventually fall asleep. we wake up around 7:30. i go to the bathroom and wash last nights makeup off my face. i come back and we hang out. we talk, we laugh, we cuddle.. 

at some point i was getting frustrated that he wouldn’t just bite the bullet and kiss me. i dont have much balls, but i can communicate enough. and i start getting punchy and he’s laughing at me like what do you want? and im pouting and not saying anything and then eventually he tells me to roll on my side to face him and he looks at me and he moves my hair like in the movies and he moves in and half grazes my lips with his and moves back quickly and says is that what you meant? and i laugh and exclaim yes! finally! 

(and now the good part) 

i pull him back and then it just happens. all that i had envisioned that the moment would be like doesnt matter anymore because its just me and him and we’re kissing and he’s moving almost on top of me and after a bit he pulls off me and lays down and says how was that? and i dont even answer as i start kissing him again and get on top of him and we’re moving and he’s grabbing my ass (mark grabbed my ass?? who are we??) and he’s moaning like i’ve never experienced a guy doing and at some point i say that ya know.. we could like.. actually do it?.. and he says “im not sure” and that he’s a little overwhelmed and hasn’t wrapped his head around the fact that any of this is even happening. and i feel kinda rejected and i get off him, not in a make a scene way, but in a like we should take a breather way. and we lay there and i’m so hot and bothered and he starts apologizing being like 

“was that too much? did i embarrass myself?”

 "no no you’re fine, im just a little frustrated”

“did i do something wrong? I’m sorry”

“no.. i just.. want.. you..”

and then he’s on top of me and he’s kissing me and kissing my neck and he kisses down.. then kinda rests his head on my thigh? and then we just had a totally normal unrelated conversation while he was resting between my legs? in the most nonchalant way and it was wholesome and funny and fuck man..

we moved into his room, cuz ac, and we were laying in his bed talking and sharing memes and i ask what he’s thinking about 

“sex. you?”

“sex.” 

and i look him in the eye and kind of smile, and i think he avoids it and says he’s going to the bathroom, and i’m thinking when he gets back, that’s when it can happen.

it felt kinda perfect in a way. like yeah, i wanted to sleep with him, like badly, but i think it’s better to ease in and not go too fast that we can’t backtrack if necessary.. but i didn’t want to backtrack.. 

in the moment, when its just me and him, i have all the confidence and sensibility to make decisions and do things i’m comfortable with, but then other people talk to me in the house and pull me out of his room and then it becomes a group hangout instead of just us 2. and its fine, cuz we are great friends and we just joined conversation and it peters out.. and then im packing to leave and he gets in the shower and i text him that ill probably head out and he texts me drive safe love ya bud!! and i kinda felt horrible?.. i feel like i’m panicking and hurting.. and i wait for him and he gets out of the shower and we sit together and i just wanted one more slight cuddle before heading out cuz reassurance i guess.. so fucking stupid..

he just goes right back to our usual cadence of banter and memes and physical distance and i’m in a weird fragile place feeling like i need him

i do not need him

and i get enough physical reassurance to put on my big girl face to drive home and go about my day pretending that i’m not deeply upset at the thought that i just lost my best friend cuz i caught feelings..

i know i’m a pretty dramatic person, i did do theatre for years for a reason. homegirl likes attention. and i dont take rejection super well (hence no longer doing theatre lol). and it felt.. weird. 99% of the weird was definitely coming from me. cuz he just started acting like my friend again, and thats fine, but now i want him even more..

had we just fucked and gotten it over with, i could settle down. but we just dry humped and he kissed me over my clothes.. which was lovely, but i’m also a big girl and i want to have sex.. and now i feel like im gunna fixate on it until it can happen..

i think i was underselling him, sexually, to myself cuz i didn’t want to get my hopes up.. he’s not my physical type at all, and he’s like a weird guy and like my best friend, but it ended up being pretty good.. we could find our groove probably, if he wanted to..

i don’t even know where we stand now. i don’t know what he wants, really. he says he’s cool with whatever as long as we stay friends, and i agree. the friendship is the most important thing here. and i don’t want things to be weird, but i cant back out now just for preservation cuz i want to be with him and i love him.. a lot

still processing. glad i got it all on paper, but now its 1am and i gotta cool off cuz im hot n bothered and ugh.. i just wish we could really talk about it..

i texted him that i missed him at like 11:20. he hasn’t responded.

update at 1pm the next day he said “miss you too friend”

dude.. fuck this.

“on some nights like this I cant help but think of us.. i’ve been reminiscing, sipping, missing you. can you tell me whats with all this distant love? on some nights like this I just wanna text you, but for what? you’ll say you want me then go switch it up.. just gonna play with my emotions just because...”

[repulsivehoney]

I HAD A DREAM ABT MY EX, AND HE ATTENDED MY HIGH SCHOOL.

It was WEIRD IDK MY SCHOOL WAS WIRD AND NOT THE SAME LIKE IT WAS PART OF SOME GAME? SOME ANIMAL CROSSING BOARD GAME? WYF

But NO LEMME START FROM THE BEGINNING

my family went to a shated home on florida it was very modern and fancy. We were arguing about a guy idk why but i think its bc i watched the real housewifes of insert rando city, and in that ep a housewife was having a wedding and invited her half brother but her mother did not approve of

We go in the home do whatever, talk, have dinner, go swimming and how its night. And im alone in the living room watching tv. There comes on a show on adult swim, it was so fucking funny and i i immediately loved it. I think it was a show thst my brain made up, i think it wa as called "dont cry in the dark" or soemthing like rhat bc i knoww it doesnt exist. The show was a lot like mad, (if yall remember that from cartoon network) anyways i fell asleep watching it.

Then somehow time passes and im at school, i see them and their sitting with someone else. Its like. Warped vision, im lookjng st them but not really. You know? And im walking with my current crush, and im trying to be all lovey dovey.

Later i get approached by my ex, we talk. And somehow i agreed to babysit their siblings. Idk is it just for them to like me more or?? To get closer to them??? Idk but soon it turns night and that show pops on. I say out loud, "oh shit i love this show! I dont forget the name"

Then cut back to my school and its some sort of board game now and im a aninal crossing Lama. I somehow get a all seeing eye and i see my ex hanging out in a forbidden abandoned storage room with someone else, i know this bc the announcer/ruler of the board game told me so? I get jealous and i wanna go to that area to meet up wuth them and get them away from that other person.

Weirdly enough i got to that forbidden place pretty easily, i thought since it was forbidden it would have been harder to find but nah :0

But i soon start to realize thst they arent there anymore, its just a moldy, dimly lit room. Theire is a TV in the corner of the room and next to is a bed with a thin matteress. I get so sad, i literally felt it in my soul.

Then soon it cuts back to me at my exs house but its a mixture of the shared home and their home, and the TV is larger. Anf the same show is on, "dont cry in the dark"

I get really sad and say, "i hope i dont forget this show. I really want to watch it in real life" i click select so i can be able to see the name fully. And it was as such, "dont cry in the dark" but soon things get burly. And i think to myself, am i walking up now? Oh god please no. Plesde dont forget.

...

And i woke up with this great longing to return to my dream and follow it again, finish it off.