#I WAS GONNA DO THINGS A LIL but my bro just got his wisdom teeth taken out so now i have to baby him bc he is the Baby

[dnangelic]

melts gothly

[ruinfell]

[DRABBLE] A Talk in the Woods

There was a cool breeze out that night – not too chill, or too bustly. A nice time for a walk, and it wasn't like the cold bothered skeletons much anyway. The woods were not wholly barren, and, with the spring air beginning to drift in, the woodlands' residents were awakening and returning.

Papyrus had taken to walking the woods more often lately, but he had asked his brother to accompany him this time. He didn't say as much, but he desired to talk with him, and he picked up on that well enough with his sibling intuition.

It had been a while since they'd really sat down and talked, and Papyrus was nervous. Sans picked up on that well enough, but didn't address it immediately. He remembered how poorly their last real heart to heart had gone, before they officially made the move to the surface-bound timeline. Sans still hadn't grown accustomed to their new home, and rarely spent time here, but he was trying.

"We can stop for a sec if you want," Papyrus suggested, halting and spinning on his heels to face Sans, who trailed behind him sluggishly. They'd kept a slow pace, but they had still gone quite far. "I got a couple thermoses. Thermii?? Of hot chocolate."

Sans was not tired, but… he appreciated the concern, and Papyrus actually addressing him. The silence had been awkward. It, faintly, distantly, reminded him of being led through the wartorn woods on a chain. He did not wish to be in that position again, of being led on a chain, wherever his brother went, with no say and no real agency.

"... yeah, sure." Sans took a seat on a nearby stump. His brother sat nearby on a log, and handed him a thermos, while pulling out his own, popping the cap and taking a decent swig of it.

Skeletons did not have to worry about burning their tongues or scalding their throats so much, seeing as they did not have throats, and did not always have tongues. But they could still indulge in the warmth that hot drinks invited, and the way it could cool nerves, though they lacked those too.

Papyrus spent a moment taking in that warmth, and holding it, before he dared let any of the cold back in by speaking.

"Bro? Can I ask you something?"

Sans knew something was coming, but chose to hold off on answering the question until he'd warmed his palms, and then his jaws and neck, with the welcome beverage. "it's about us staying here, yeah?" That was his guess. Why talk about it here, and now, of all times and places?

"... Yeah. Are you actually okay with this?"

Sans was a little taken aback, his jaw shifting in consideration, and his back straightening from its near ever-present hunch. "why wouldn't I be?"

"Humans, for a start." Papyrus was well aware that was a problem for both of them. "Not gonna pretend I don't get freaked out but uh. My symptoms are probably a lil' easier to manage."

Sans frowned. "i'm not gonna dog out in a mall and start killin' people, pap. i've been dog shoppin' before."

He assumed he would be fine, even if there was more than a little thread of doubt, and quite a hefty chunk of worry dangling at the end of it - he didn't know how well his emotions would be kept in check in such a situation for certain. He knew that war overwhelmed him at a near constant, to the point where it took years for him to regain any normalcy, by seemingly sheer chance.

Papyrus had a great many more concerns, and would come back to that one later. It wasn't the biggest concern, after all.

"I don't wanna keep leadin' you around like you ain't got a choice in it, Sans."

The elder brother very much did not enjoy when his younger sibling took words from his head like that, though he knew full well that at times they may as well be bound twins, and thus privy to reading each other so well. He fully blamed that on how they came to be, though he had no evidence of such.

He shifted a bit on his stump, legs dangling, and heels kicking into the bark in an uncomfortable rhythm. "but that's the thing. i don't. not if i wanna keep up with you."

"But you--"

Papyrus halted his exclamation suddenly. He stared at his brother, swallowing the words that hadn't made it past his teeth, and letting them reform in a moment.

"... You don't have to keep up with me, dude." The weight and gravity of his tone came from its sobriety now, and not its volume. "This isn't like, some thing like with Sunny and Sleepy. I'm not gonna disappear and be a different person one day. You're not gonna forget or lose me. Not as long as we actually talk."

Sans was fortunate for that gravity. Without it, had there been any inch of panic, he would have caught onto it and amplified it, it would have rattled between the walls of his rib cage and grown and grown until it burst from him a thousand fold too large for it. That was the true nature of his curse, and something he had yet to fully shake.

His gaze didn't lift from his thermos, but his legs slowly came to a stop. There was a bit of a sniff.

"If you wanted to shack up in the café timeline, I don't think Sunny would mind. If you feel more comfortable there. Or, hell-- I'm sure Dad would be okay with you staying there too. You don't gotta force yourself to be somewhere that makes you feel uncomfortable."

Sans' grip on his thermos tightened a little, though, fortunately, there was no threat of it being crushed. He simply needed that extra bit of grip, to stay his hands from shaking.

He was safe, for now at least. But he knew the anxiety was welling up in him. He didn't want to disturb this place. He didn't want to lose control of himself when—

"but you're forcin' yourself, pap. you're scared." He could tell, even having not seen the way his brother had worried over applications and spilled his anxieties to his adoptive guidance. "but you're bravin' through it. and i get it. but i'm just not brave like you are. i just deal."

The taller skeleton's face became yet more grave, and his teeth clicked together in a frown, wordless for a time. It was true, he was forcing himself, and he was scared. The fact that he was facing surface life with humans, despite being afraid, meant he could not refute being brave, much as he didn't think himself such. But he could refute that his brother was not also brave, and perhaps more so than he was.

After a good solid minute of thought, Papyrus stood, walked over to his brother's stump, and sat next to him atop it.

"I don't think you're givin' yourself much credit, Sans. Ya forget it's you who took that soul, instead of me?" He nudged the shorter skeleton with his elbow, against the red sweater, about where said soul would be resting. "Even before that. So what if you're not brave the exact same way I am? Don't mean you're not. We're not the same. Even if people like pointin' out how much we got in common with the bastard who made us, heh."

Papyrus took a long swig of his thermos, enough to drain it, and it gave Sans time to really think. His younger brother, he often considered, was the lesser of experience, at least in overall years, but maybe not of wisdom. Sans secluded himself a lot, mostly out of fear and distrust of others, but largely out of fear and distrust of himself. That removed him from a lot of opportunity for experience, and meant Papyrus could catch up — not just catch up, but overtake him.

"you're startin' to sound like one of those fuckin' cwote posts, bro. lay off the tumblr." There was a bit of a smirk from him.

"Oh my god… Anything but that." Papyrus snickered a bit, though that gravity lessened none. "Seriously though. No one minds you bein' around. People want you around. I want you around, and to fuckin’-- have a chance at the surface, y’know? But not if it's gonna fuckin' blow your soul out from anxiety."

It was weird. Sans had always been the one worrying about his brother. It was always his focus in life, his one real purpose. Things had gone astray since their colliding with the multiverse, granted, and a few others had gained his worry, but never to the same degree of his brother. It wasn't just a purpose that Gaster had granted him upon his brother's birth: it was a purpose he fully adopted within his own heart and mind.

He knew that other people had worried for him before. People did care about him. He'd barely heeded them. He'd never really felt like he mattered, not to himself, not if his brother was okay, so it was difficult to believe he mattered to anyone else.

It was weird, that Papyrus worried so much for him. But his heavy, heavy heart, felt lighter for it. The logic felt right; if he actually started taking himself into account, started to look out and after himself in some way… would that help his brother be more okay, too?

Would caring for his own self, be an act of caring for his brother?

It always went back to him. 'You don't have to keep up with me' came back to haunt him from moments before, and he sighed his hectic thoughts out slowly through his nasal cavity. His mind was moving a little too fast; maybe it was trying to stay ahead, rather than keep up.

Papyrus, intuitive as he was, could tell that something was amiss. He let go of his thermos with one hand and wrapped the arm around Sans' shoulders, pulling him into a half-hug.

"You don't gotta figure it all out right this second, dude. Just… figure yourself into the equations while ya do."

"... yeah. i guess." He didn't sound enthusiastic, but he had not stopped thinking just yet. It'd wind down slowly, it had to, because sudden change panicked him.

"And for my part, I'll try to stop runnin' into shit so much without tellin' ya. Like, I'll let you know when I get this job shit figured out, keep you up on my schedules when I do…" Papyrus' cup was stowed in his inventory, and he stood up from the stump. "Y'know, actually try to keep ya in the loop, heh. I know I suck at doin' that, and it don't really help."

Sans gave a small smile, and little disagreement-- but no teasing, this time. He appreciated the effort. He hadn't felt like they'd been able to talk this frankly in a very, very long time.