#I WAS EXPECTING LUCIA BEING FORCED TO FLEE

[all-the-bones-ever]

I JUST FINISHED SUITOR ARMOR I HATE THIS I HATE THIS GOD WHY

[gentrychild]

What I expected from the last Suitor Armor chapter : Reimund falling into a coma because of a poisoned bite, Lucia being outed as a fairy, Modeus and her being forced to flee.

What I got : SOMETHING SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE.

[give-my-son-back]

My thoughts exactly. I thought Young Sephiroth was going to start off as this cold and arrogant killing machine as soon as he was introduced near the end of Chapter 4. He slaughtered the Rhadorans and then smirked afterward. He gave off this vibe at first: 😈🗡️🔥

But after that, he politely introduces himself and tells the P0 SOLDIERs to flee to safety.

But at the end of Chapter 4, we witness Young Sephiroth politely introducing himself again before praising and thanking Glenn for a job well done. We do see a hint of vulnerability in Young Sephiroth as soon as he lowers his head when Glenn angrily stomps up to him and calls him a "cyborg" for the very first time. Though it quickly vanishes with Young Sephiroth sternly reminding him that he just needs to follow his orders since Shinra made him the new leader of their group.

And then Chapter 5 came and revealed Young Sephiroth's true nature underneath that seemingly-invincible facade. When Glenn angrily marches up to him to call him a "cyborg" again and then outright threatens to physically attack him if he whistles to them again. Instead of Young Sephiroth retorting like he did last chapter, he just silently lowers his head. He then does it again after the trio head towards the Cawpine Caverns. Given how insanely powerful he is to the entire trio, it would be all too easy for him to threaten Glenn back with violence. Instead, he just silently receives Glenn's angry outburst. Ouch.

Despite Young Sephiroth being the new leader of the group, he chooses to lag behind right next to Matt while Glenn and Lucia are leading in the front. What Young Sephiroth does next is unexpected, he actually apologizes to the entire group for whistling as if they were animals. He also reveals he doesn't have much social interaction with people and that Shinra is forcing him into the "celebrity hero" role, despite him wanting a normal life. He then apologizes for the whistling again.

He is also a momma's boy since he keeps a locket containing his mother's picture at all times. He literally asks everybody about his mother despite being a teenager. It would normally be considered normal if little kids asked around for their parents. He even giggles and laughs like a little kid would.

Even as he tries to justify killing all of the Rhadorans, he clearly does not do so out of malice. He does it rather out of obligation like how a teacher hands a student a mandatory assignment they must complete. Him rationalizing killing the other youths and even the elderly is done rather out of pragmatism than out of ageism. He sees them just as competent and dangerous just as any adult Rhadoran. He was proven right later on when one Rhadoran child soldier managed to shoot him in the arm before being cut down. When he reveals that he was trained to be a 100% ruthless killing machine and is taught the "kill or be killed" rhetoric, he raises his voice defensively and adopts an aggressive posture. When Glenn walks up to Young Sephiroth, his posture immediately softens and he looks away, as if he's scared that Glenn would rebuke him. He clearly was expecting Glenn to angrily yell at him and/or physically attack him for slaughtering the youths and the elderly, but he didn't expect to be pulled into a hug. After Glenn assures him that he's "done nothing wrong" and that he could show some compassion since he has already proven that he's physically strong, Young Sephiroth shakes his head and says he's not a cyborg. He seems to be crying in that scene judging by his animation and how Matt and Lucia looked sad at the moment. Glenn pulls him into another hug and he gratefully accepts it. After Glenn apologizes for calling him that earlier, Young Sephiroth reveals afterward that he never wanted to be a cyborg.

After that chapter, it's safe to say I viewed Young Sephiroth as this: 😿🤕👩🏻‍🍼

so i finally got to FS chapter 5 and to say i’m surprised is an understatement.

that’s just… not how i expected sephiroth to act at all. i figured glenn didn’t like sephiroth at first because he’d be cocky about being the leader/being stronger than them, and then they’d understand each other better and become friends.

but then - sephiroth is just quiet and sad when glenn calls him a cyborg. he doesn’t snap back at him, doesn’t get angry. his head just drops. and then i remembered that he’s, like, 14 years old here and i just felt worse.

it’s kind of obvious that sephiroth would be obedient like that - after all, that’s a guy that from birth knew he was stronger than everyone else; he could’ve just nibelheim’d his way out of shinra and hojo with ease whenever he wanted, but he didn’t. it just made me realize the level of mental abuse sephiroth went through on his formative years. he was taught to obey, to serve; he was probably discouraged from developing any personality trait, to having any voice or choice. it’s just painful to know that when sephiroth found himself, it went the worst possible way it could’ve gone.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep15 [FINALE]

For better or worse I think Ryukishi achieved exactly what he set out to do with this series, and I guess everyone’s just gonna be forced to reckon with how they feel about his own perspective on this franchise versus how they feel about it, lol.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut, plus Umineko spoilers.

I’m not entirely sure where to even start with this, but I guess the TL;DR is that I honestly think Gou/Sotsu was ultimately just fine despite it’s issues, and part me of can’t help but be like ‘I told you so, lol’ about how this really did end with this episode, and also committed pretty hard to the Umineko prequel elements.

It’s not like all of my theories were correct in the end, but I at least think I was pretty spot on in my prediction last week that this would end with the miracle of them side-stepping the sword issue entirely and choosing the third option of forgiveness and reconciliation. And also them ending it with an epilogue where we go back to the Matsuribayashi timeline and get a happy ending for Rika and Satoko that provides a ‘non-magical interpretation’ for the story while also giving us an idea of how Bern and Lambda formally split off into their own entities and start the relationship we see in Umineko.

I didn’t quite expect them to go down the route of having them agree to just spend a few years apart and accept that they don’t need to literally always be together, but I think that was a really good way to wrap things up between them. It’s pretty much the healthiest compromise to their conflict that doesn’t come across like it completely invalidates one of their dreams. I get why it feels too anti-climactic and convenient for people, but when you pull at that thread you get into wider topics of what the entire story is about, since this was always going to end with Satoko being redeemed and forgiven. People might not have taken him seriously, but Ryukishi was 100% genuine about his regrets about Matsuribayashi’s ending, and how part of why he came up with this new story was to create a better ending, while also doing more with Satoko as a character.

Basically I think a lot of the fandom negativity towards this boils down to people fundamentally disagreeing with the idea that Matsuribayashi was even ‘flawed’ in this sort of way to begin with, or that Satoko was badly written. It’s valid to disagree on this stuff, but at the very least we all have to grapple with how Ryukishi has his own specific relationship with this series.

People like to focus on how he’s a troll who likes to mess with people, but I feel like this is a bit of a wake-up call for people about how he’s actually extremely sincere, almost to a fault, and he likes to use his stories as a vehicle for expressing his personal philosophies and ideals. 

This whole story is also a good example of how he just sees this as ultimately being a fictional story about fictional characters, and not literally a matter of real people who need to be sentenced for their crimes or whatever. As early as the original VN he was almost being outright preachy about the message that nobody is irredeemable, and that philosophy carries through to this. But to be more specific, nobody *in this story* is irredeemable. He’s pretty open about the fact that in practice you can’t apply this sort of ideal to real life, but fictional stories are their own separate matter.

I think this whole issue of how he views this as a story first and foremost is also the central reason why this ended in a way that comes across as Satoko being let off too easy for her crimes. One way or another, Ryukishi’s made it clear that he sees this as being no different to how other characters had arcs where they committed crimes but still got forgiven, or how Takano is basically a straight up war criminal who also got forgiven for her crimes.

Anyway, this episode at least committed to the Umineko stuff, so that was satisfying. Sure there’s people that still want to deny it, but at this point I think a lot of people are just being stubborn, so it’s not like anything would have really convinced them, lol. I’m also genuinely not sure what people even would have expected them to do beyond what we saw her, aside from having the two of them literally put on their gothic lolita outfits and turn to the camera and go ‘we are literally Bernkastel and Lambdadelta from the video game series Umineko When They Cry’. I almost feel like there’s some kind of misunderstanding from people who aren’t familiar with Umineko when it comes to the idea of what it even means for this to be ‘an Umineko prequel’, or ‘a Bern/Lambda origin story’. I mean, this is quite literally exactly what I expected and hoped for in that regard. It’s not like I was expecting them to incorporate anything related to, like, Beatrice or the Ushiromiya family.

I think this is also one of those things where you just have to decide for yourself whether or not you want to earnestly engage with the story that’s being told, or if you want to assume that there’s some level of malice or trickery going on.

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting them to literally have Rika and Satoko recite part of Bern and Lambda’s final conversation with each other word for word, lmao. Combined with the scene at the end where ‘Witch Satoko’ talks to herself about how she’s going to give her body back to Satoko while she goes chasing after Rika, it was literally just the exact origin story of their relationship as it’s depicted in Umineko.

I still feel like this would all only really be ‘worth it’ if we actually get something like a full on anime remake for Umineko, but at this point I can’t help but feel satisfied with this part of it all.

It’s not like I think Gou/Sotsu as a whole is perfect or anything, though. I don’t hate it as much as basically everyone else does, but I think Ryukishi’s the sort of VN writer who really struggles with the shift to writing for an anime. I think a big part of the frustration people have is just from how this is formatted as a weekly anime series spread across basically an entire year, instead of being something like a stand-alone VN chapter that you can read at whatever pace you want, even if it ultimately takes the same amount of time to read as it would to watch all of Gou/Sotsu.

There’s also the whole issue of this being a sort-of-remake, which snowballed into a whole list of structural problems. They absolutely tried too hard to have their cake and eat it too, and they should have just committed to it being made for old fans only, instead of trying to sincerely incorporate elements from the VN that old fans don’t care about anymore because they’ve gone over it already.

And as I’ve said several times before, it was a major issue for them to decide to put Nekodamashi in the middle of Gou and then spend like 20 episodes on flashback answer arcs until finally getting back to that cliffhanger. I’ve been waiting until this all ended to decide exactly how I feel about that, and now that it’s all over I still think it was a really bad idea. I don’t think it was an issue for them to reveal that Satoko’s the culprit that early, but having the gun cliffhanger specifically happen that early just gave people misguided expectations and tainted the answer arcs because people were just impatient to get back to the cliffhanger. And then the cliffhanger itself ended up being somewhat anti-climactic, which is what I’d been fearing would happen. It would have worked fine if they shuffled it around so that the cliffhanger happened right before Kagurashi and was followed up in the very next episode, or if this was a VN where you could binge your way through the flashback stuff, but spending like half of an entire real-life year to get back to that point only to have the resolution be ‘Satoko just shoots Rika and the death loops keep going’ just didn’t really work properly.

I’m a lot more generous towards the Akashi arcs than most people are, since I think they really over-estimate how much re-used content there is there, but they still suffer from the central issue of the show trying to be accessible for new fans. It could have been heavily condensed otherwise, without losing anything in terms of Satoko’s whole character arc.

On the other hand I think the first half of Kagurashi was awful specifically because it highlighted how bad of an idea it was to put Nekodamashi so early in the story. They still ended up having to go back to that arc and repeat it anyway, in the most 1:1 recap-y way in the whole show, but that wouldn’t have even been an issue in the first place if that was instead the first time that arc happened in the show.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I would rearrange the story to make it flow better while still following Ryukishi’s intentions, and I think they could have condensed it into a 2-cour season with this sort of structure if they did something like this:

-First arc where Rika gets thrown back into the loop and quickly figures out that somebody intentionally caused this to happen, and it’s not Takano because at least in this idea of mine she’d try and investigate her only to find out that this version of Takano regrets everything and is planning to flee the village with Tomitake.

Basically I think this could tie into the idea of Satoko initially wanting to just concoct an idea world for Rika so that she won’t want to leave this time, but sort of like what I think happens in Saikoroshi, Rika would still reject it, and this time around there’d be the additional layer of her knowing that somebody did this to her for an unknown reason. Maybe they could even initially market it as a new adaptation or a remake of Saikoroshi, and then reveal that it’s a sequel, to keep that whole element to the series. Either way I think this would end with everything going to shit when Rika rejects that fragment and wants to go back to St. Lucia’s, and Satoko basically snaps and kills her, and that way the audience can find out about her being the culprit without Rika finding out about it yet.

Maybe there could even be some dramatic irony where Rika’s attempts to meddle with certain ‘trigger events’, and her displaying her looper side, inadvertently triggers people around her to get paranoid, and the whole fragment would start to spiral into tragedy from there. I think they could at least use the whole conflict in Tatariakashi about Teppei actually being good this time as a starting point for that sorta thing.

-Second arc, rounding out the first cour, which is basically just Satokowashi. I don’t think there’s much that you’d need to change here, but like I said above I like the idea of her initially trying to just invent a perfect world for Rika and her to live in, instead of jumping straight to murder. But maybe instead of her literally just watching Rika’s loops, she could instead just be stuck using her looping powers to try and figure out how to create that ‘perfect world’ in the first place, by personally investigating all of the different tragedies and how to prevent them.

-Staring the second cour, a third arc where we basically just get to see those loops Satoko goes through, and her whole process of solving the tragedies and ‘purifying’ characters like Teppei and Takano, until we eventually see her perspective on the first arc, and how she reacts to Rika ultimately rejecting the world she tried to make for her.

-A fourth and final arc which is basically just Nekodamashi + Kagurashi, where she just totally snaps and tries to just torture Rika into never wanting to leave the village again, and eventually Satoko gets exposed and they have their direct confrontation with each other.

With that sorta story structure, you’d keep all the relevant bits of Gou/Sotsu as it is now, while being more focused on Rika and Satoko instead of doing kinda half-assed reruns of the Rena and Shion arcs. It’d also push the big cliffhanger between them until near the end of the show, while still revealing to the audience relatively early on that Satoko’s the culprit.

I’d also like them to do more with Satoshi and Shion, so maybe like with how Teppei gets redeemed and Satoko almost gets to have a happy life with him in Tatariakashi, the central question arc of this hypothetical story could also involve Satoko making sure that Satoshi wakes up from his coma, and Shion also gets to have a good relationship with all of them. You could probably do something interesting with the idea of Satoshi and Shion being in the camp of not trusting Teppei and his whole redemption arc.

Honestly I could spend a long time talking about how I would have done things differently, lol. For one thing, I think the Akashi arcs would have been much better if they just changed it so that Satoko used psychological tactics to make people paranoid, and we completely cut out the whole syringe plot device. I get how it fits with Satoko’s whole certainty gimmick, but it made those arcs way too predictable. Even if we knew the outcome, it’d at least be entertaining to see exactly how Satoko might go out of her way to set up the different tragedies. We kinda got glimpses of that sorta plot point in Wataakashi when things seemed to go outside of her control, but they didn’t really do much with it.

Anyway, this is a whole lot of words to say that I think that in spite of the serious structural issues going on, I think Gou/Sotsu as a whole is fine, and was at least working with a lot of perfectly good ideas that could have been executed much better.

Also, on a side note, that one scene during their fist-fight at the start where the art-style changes a bit was kinda weird, but I really liked how it looked, and part of me almost wishes the whole show looked like that, lol. I like Akio Watanabe’s character designs, but I feel like that sort of stylized, almost TWEWY-ish art style would have been really fitting for this series, especially in the horror/action parts.

Oh, and the new rendition of You was so good it almost felt emotionally manipulative, lol.

[veryberrybrenda]

Just One More Bet

Pairing: Adam Du Mortain x Lucia Langford

Prompt: Guilt

Notes: I goggled the French curse words because I don’t speak French, so idk if they are 100% correct. I’m sorry in advance. This is Day 5 of Wayhaven Week 2020 by @otomefandomevents 

Respect was something that came easy to Lucia. Her work ethic in the office was what granted her the promotion to Detective after all. What people respected most about her was her ability to do what was needed. Whether it be staying late to finish paperwork or helping out Verda with his work, she was always the one who did what most people didn’t want to do. It was something she took pride in, that was the case until recently.

Adam made her question everything. He made her own body betray her. Pulse racing, cheeks flushed, voice stuttering. She was used to being the one with the cards in her hands, but the world decided her winning streak should come to an end.

But right now, she was in control. Perspiration made her bare feet slick against the blue mat. Her breathing was ragged as she kicked the punching bag. It stood its ground, barely swaying against her valley of kicks and punches, mocking her.

She had been getting better, thankfully, not a small part due to Adam. He had been sacrificing his brooding time to train her – make her stronger against those who wanted to hurt her.

Lucia hated the feeling of being helpless, having to rely on others. Being a burden doesn’t sit well with her independent nature. That was why she chose combat with Adam over research with Nate. Although she was better suited to learning about the weaknesses of supernaturals, with her unquenchable thirst for knowledge and all, knowledge itself, won’t stop a creature from snapping her arm off like it was some crispy taco.

Creak.

The sound of the door opening interrupted her assault on the punching bag as she turned to face the person responsible for the noise. Before even taking a glance, she already had a guess to who it could be.

Who else would train at 10 o'clock at night.

Standing at the doorway was a man with an approved expression, posture as stiff as always. “Your form is getting better,” Adam said, voice echoing in the large room.

“That’s progress,” Lucia panted, breathing rough from exertion.

Adam walked, his usual brisk strides, over to Lucia. His hand clasped behind his back as he eyed Lucia as though he were critiquing a piece of art. “Have your legs spread a bit wider when you punch. It will help you keep your balance better.”

A devilish grin formed on Lucia’s lips. This is too good. The man is setting himself up.

“Spread my legs. Got it,” she replied with a smirk, eyes searching for the slightest crack in his once impenetrable walls.

The flirtation only made Adam narrow his eyes, jaw clenched. “This is not some game, Detective. Your life is at stake.”

“I make fun where fun is needed. I heard it makes it easier to remember stuff,” Lucia quipped confidently as she awaited the leader’s comeback.

“Your life is no joke. It is precious to me- I mean us.” Adam’s eyes widen at his slip up, but he hastily plastered back on his stoic mask. “Besides, Agent Langford would be highly disappointed in me if something happened to you.”

His almost confession had Lucia blinking for a few seconds. Maybe there is hope after all. She just had to do what was necessary to get it out of him.

Taking a step closer, she fully gazed into his emerald eyes, searching for some sign of the real unguarded soul behind it. “Would you be disappointed if something were to happen to me?”

She saw it. The slightest twitch of his lips as he concentrated on maintaining his mask. “Yes, of course. It would be quite an annoyance to have one less team member to utilize during missions.” Although his expression was unreadable, his voice wasn’t. There was a slight pitch to it that betrayed him.

I hooked him. Now it’s time to see if the world will deal me a good hand.

This was turning into a gamble as she took another step, his eyes trailing her every move, but thankfully he wasn’t fleeing…yet. Rolling the dice yet again, she reached out to grab his hand, his fingers limp against hers. She could sense the smallest tensing of his fingers like he’s fighting himself not to hold her hand.

Lucia still gets surprised each time she feels the delicate skin of his palm. Where she expected them to be hard, rough, and calloused from his centuries of work, they were soft, smooth, and lacking any imperfection. He would make an amazing hand model.

His mouth opened then promptly closed shut with unsaid words. Adam’s pupils were blown, turning his eyes dark as the green disappeared. A battle is raging inside of those eyes. The man who wants to be set free vs. the vampire who has survived centuries of loneliness and pain. Lucia can only hope her bet on the former wins.

There is no better time than now to confront him. I just hope he doesn’t run away this time.

Her volume has died down to a mere whisper, “Adam, I want to say- “

As though he knew where she was going with this, he suddenly whips around, yanking his hand away from hers, and knocking down a wooden dummy in the process. Lucia flinches at the loud thud the dummy makes when it hit the floor. Adam just stares at the dummy menacingly as if its existence offended him.

After a few seconds of silence, Adam crouches down to pick up the dummy. His eyes still radiating hatred when he sees Lucia also couching down to help him.

“I got it!” Adam snarled, tone low and threatening.

“I want to help.” Her tone not making any room for argument, but Adam always seemed to find a way.

Adam grips the dummy. “I don’t want your help.” His voice coming out in a single breath as he heaves the dummy up.

She desperately tried to think of something to say - to prevent his walls from rising up again as he wipes the dust off the dummy. Clenching her hands, she builds her resolve that she hopes will be enough to stand against a 900-year-old vampire.

“Tu Omnia.” It comes out as more of a command than a statement, which she hopes Adam will obey.

The phrase had Adam’s body freezing up like ice, his back, taunt as it faced her.

“You are everything.” She said the phrase slowly, afraid that if she said them a little too quick, she would’ve spooked him. This time, raw emotion spills into her voice, making Adam’s knuckles tighten over the wooden dummy, fingers white.

“Where…did you hear that?” Adam questioned accusingly.

Determination filled Lucia once again. “You told me that just before the medication kicked in after the fight with the trappers.”

“I…never said such thing!” Adam shouted defensively that emphasized his continued digging of his grave.

She crossed her arms, anger starting to simmer inside of her at the man’s lies. “Just ask Nate. He was the one who translated it for me.”

“No, you’re wrong!” An animalistic snarl escapes from his lips. The wood under his fingers finally break with a snap. “Fils de pute (son of a bitch)!” Adam curses in what she assumes is French as he chucks the broken wood aimlessly to the side. He throws it with so much force that it shatters the mirror beside him, sending shards scattering everywhere.

Without a word, she bends down to pick up the shards on the ground. Adam is still turned away from her while she silently cleans up the collateral damage, something she has gotten too used to doing.

Unfortunately for her, she made the terrible mistake of forgetting that she’s bare foot and she steps on a shard, a subdued scream escaping from her lips.

“Fucking hell!” She shouts angrily, while clutching her injured foot. Crimson drips readily from the sizable shard embedded in the center of her foot.

Maybe it was the pain of her wound or the frustration of being lied to by the person she trusts the most, but she just couldn’t take it anymore. She felt tired. Tired of pretending that it didn’t hurt every time Adam would show her a piece of his heart then proceed to snatch it away, leaving her to deal with the consequences. She knew this was no way to live her life, but if she was honest with herself, she was addicted. Addicted to seeing him smile at a joke she made or when his gaze would soften around her. Living 900 years alone had its baggage, sure, but her stupid heart couldn’t help itself. She’s neck deep in her bad habit that she just can’t bring herself to quit.

Maybe I’ll win the next round, she keeps telling herself, but the cards were slipping from her hands and she was powerless to stop it.

She would never be able to quit Adam Du Mortain for as long as she breathes.

Tears were forming in her eyes as her own walls that were meant to defend her, came caving in, trapping her under the rubble.

-

Lucia’s scream pulls Adam from his state and he instantly appears behind her in a blur, arms wrapped around her waist as he gently eases her down on the mat away from the broken glass. Her hands are coated in warm blood. The aroma of it overpowered his senses, crying out to his primal side to surface, to drink it, but he suppresses it as he tucks a piece of stray hair away from her face that have come undone from her ponytail.

Her black eyes always fascinated him and the same time, annoyed him. They gave him a hard time because he could never see her pupils that mixed with her black iris. Not that he has to of course, her hammering heart always was a telltale sign of her true feelings - ones that he tries his best to ignore, for his sake. They were two black holes, reeling him in and refusing to let go until he was consumed by them. They contrasted nicely with her bright lavender hair that set her apart from everyone else, but right now, he wishes he could see those eyes.

Lucia’s bloody hands covered her dark eyes as she chokes on her sobs. The sight of her in such a state because of him made his heart constrict in guilt.

Crying didn’t come naturally to her, so it wasn’t the glass that had tears racking her body. It was something else – something that he refuses to acknowledge because once he does, he won’t be able to stop himself. The only time he had seen her cry was when she visited him when he got injured by the trappers. Her tears had weakened his walls, which made him say those words that he wished he could take back. Tu Omnia. The DMB had made his mind weak and it slipped out before he could stop himself. She hadn’t brought it up since and he thought she didn’t hear it, but he was surely mistaken.

He admired her tenacity. He would shoo her away and she would still find a way back to him like some lovesick puppy. Her fighting spirit reminded Adam of himself. He would sacrifice anything for his team – and for her. So the sight of her broken and beaten in his arms caused him to feel like a failure. He failed to protect her from danger – failed to protect her from himself.

I wish you could see how much you deserve someone better than me.

Adam laid a hand under the back of her head to hug her closer to him, hoping that it would offer her some peace in her battle to find the shadow of the man that had been lost to time. Her head instantly tucked into his chest, and so he did his best to shield her from the dangerous world that threatened to destroy who she was. He was glad that she wasn’t able to look at him because if she did, his walls would’ve instantly came crashing down.

Sliding one hand under her legs and the other under her back, he lifted her up bridal style in his strong arms. Her cries had turned into small whimpers now as she struggled to regain her composure. She felt lighter than he expected – smaller, more fragile. Her tendency to project strength, just like her mother, almost made him forget how delicate humans actually are.

As Adam was in the process of carrying her to her room, he passed by Nate, who instantly rushed towards him, expression worried as he took in Lucia bleeding and whimpering in his arms. Adam had hoped that no one would notice, but everyone must’ve heard her cries by now.

“What happened?” Nate asked, brows knitted in worry.

“Please, not now Nate.” Adam pleaded. He hoped that his old friend can understand the look in his eyes to back off.

Nate must’ve understood. “Okay. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Can you clean the broken glass in the training room?”

“Of course.” Nate replied softly. He quietly walked away, something that Adam found oddly strange, given his size.

With no more interruptions, Adam arrived at Lucia’s brightly decorated room. He was glad that the lights were off because the bright colors made his sensitive eyes hurt.

He slowly eased her down onto her bed, her hands stubbornly refused to let go. He had to peel them off of his waist, which wasn’t difficult since her lack of energy meant her resistance was weak.

He was no stranger to treating injuries. During his time as a human, he was an expert at stitching himself up, a skill he learned growing up as a knight. He grabbed a towel from the bathroom, running it under the tap. He also knew where the first aid kit was.

Under the sink cabinet and next to the shampoo bottles.

He memorized this detail when he helped Nate set up the room for her first stay at the Warehouse. With her being so clumsy, it was an extra precaution that had paid off.

He came back to Lucia, quiet and staring at the white ceiling, eyes swollen and glossy from crying. She slowly sat up when she saw him, black eyes still in a state of distress. He tried to ignore the way her sad eyes followed him as he began his work.

He gently grasped her ankle, glancing at her when it was time to pull the shard out. She understood his look and slowly nodded as she turned her gaze away from her foot. Adam firmly gripped the shard in his fingers and with one swift motion, yanked it out causing a whimper from Lucia. He quickly stopped the fresh flow of blood by cleaning it with the wet towel, her muscles tensing from the pain. After all the blood was cleaned, it was time for the most painful part. He poured the alcohol on a cotton ball and did his best to be quick and efficient. A few hisses signaled her pain. He was now wrapping her foot in gauze, careful not to make it too tight so the wound can breathe.

Once he finished, she still refused to look at him, her jaw clenched tightly.

It’s better for you to hate me. That makes it easier.

Thinking that there was nothing else he could do to ease her suffering, Adam stood up from the bed, but a small, weak hand gripped his arm, still fighting to keep him from walking away.

“Please, don’t leave.” It was mixture between a whisper and whimper that had Adam retreating back to the bed, Lucia’s hand still clutching his arm as though it was a life preserver in a stormy sea.

“I’m here, Luc.” He reassured her, eyes softening. “I won’t leave you.” He surprised himself at how naturally the words flowed from his mouth

“Can you lay next to me until I fall asleep?” She whispered, eyes pleading.

Even if Adam wanted to, no words would have come out of his mouth, so instead, he nodded and laid back on the bed, pulling the quilt over Lucia and tucking her small head in his chest. He could sense her heart slowing down as she drifted away from reality, but what he didn’t expect was his heartbeat to slow as well, synchronizing with hers. The familiar rhythm combined with her comforting scent of cherry blossoms lulled Adam to sleep, one where his nightmares wouldn’t dare touch him.    

[libraryscarf]

here’s the fic i wrote for the promare charity e-zine, spark of hope. all the proceeds went to the nsw and qld fire services.

^^^

the ignorance of lio fotia ( ao3 )

^^^

“I think you’re mistaken.”

Lio gazes sternly across the table at Gueira and Meis, who both look somewhat shell-shocked. He can’t exactly blame them. Their display of ignorance is a bit humiliating.

“Boss,” Gueira says incredulously. “Are you serious?”

“Dead so.”

Lio takes a delicate sip of coffee from a mug printed with the declaration: I ♥ FIREFIGHTING

Meis settles his elbows on the table and leans his chin on his interlocked fingers: his debating posture. Lio sighs, setting his coffee down.

“Spit it out, please,” he says. “And my break is over in six minutes, so try not to wax too eloquent.”

Meis cracks a smile, mouth full of shark teeth.

“Oh, I don’t think it’ll take that long, Boss.”

Lio’s eyes narrow to slits. This really is a waste of time. He could have been drinking mediocre coffee in silence during his short break, rather than holding the world’s most pointless argument with his two erstwhile subordinates.

“Five minutes,” he bites out.

“Gueira,” Meis says quietly. Gueira produces a clicker, and a translucent screen shimmers into view above the table between Lio and the other two. Projected onto it is a familiar face grinning down at him. Lio frowns.

“Subject One,” says Meis. “Galo Thymos.” The words GALO THYMOS erupt across the projection in bright red block letters.

“Subject Two,” Meis continues. “Lio Fotia.” Lio beholds his own face next to Galo’s, his name blasted in the same bright red font.

Then, the on-screen Galo turns to look at the on-screen Lio, and his eyes explode into hearts.

“I rest my case,” Meis states, leaning back in his chair as Gueira clicks the hologram off. Lio looks between them, speechless at the shared idiocy of two of the smartest people he knows.

“That was your argument?”

Gueira, unable to contain himself any longer, slams both hands on the table and rattles all three of their coffee mugs.

“Boss, he couldn’t make it more obvious without tying himself up in a big bow and mailing himself to you,” he says, struggling to moderate his voice.

Lio, consummately unimpressed, takes another sip of coffee.

“I will say it only once more: you two are mistaken,” he says in a measured tone. “Galo Thymos is not carrying a torch for me.”

Gueira slumps facedown on the table. Meis pats his back comfortingly.

“Boss,” he says. “Please. Think about it. Think about it very hard.”

And to his credit, Lio does think about it.

He thinks Galo is one of the loudest, friendliest, most sanguine people he’s ever met.

Lio thinks that Galo is a person who shows affection through physicality. And he also thinks that Galo feels affection towards a great many people. He shows it in the way he ruffles Aina’s hair when she passes, or slaps Varys’ shoulder after a particularly heroic mission, or hoists Lucia onto his shoulders so she can reach the top shelf without climbing onto the counter. Galo has an astonishingly large heart: one that seeks others, and is indiscriminate in its efforts to warm and be warmed.

But Lio cannot afford to misappropriate any warmth Galo has directed his way. He doesn’t think his own heart—the stunted, anemic thing it is—could weather a disappointment.

“All right,” he says. “I’ve thought about it.”

“And…?” Meis leans forward. Gueira’s thick eyebrows furrow in anticipation.

“I think I’ll give you both double shifts if you have enough time to make slideshows about my love life.”

: : :

To their credit, they don’t bring Lio another visual aid. But the next time Meis and Gueira corner him, it’s with Galo himself as the test subject.

“Hey. Boss.”

Lio pointedly does not look up, his eyes scanning the claustrophobic text of the Promepolis Post’s front page. Galo is all the way over on the other side of the room, doing something loud and unnecessary to his Matoi with Lucia’s enthusiastic assistance.

“Boss!” Gueira’s whisper is urgent.

“I’m reading.”

“No,” Meis says. “You aren’t.”

Lio reluctantly folds the newspaper.

“Do you two ever actually do any work?” he demands, matching their low voices.

Meis arches a graceful eyebrow. “Deflecting already, Boss?”

“I’m not deflecting,” Lio growls. “What is it this time?”

Gueira just grins as Aina walks into the room, tossing her Burning Rescue jacket onto the couch.

“Just watch. Hey, Aina!”

She looks up, then comes over to their table. Her eyes dart between Meis and Gueira, and then to Lio, reading the silent tension.

“What’s up?” she asks, almost suspiciously.

“Why don’t you tell the big guy he did good out there today?”

Aina narrows her eyes. Gueira’s face splits into an even wider grin.

“Galo?” she asks. “Why?”

Lio snatches up the newspaper again, stuffing his nose in it.

“They’re worse than bloodhounds, Aina,” he says from deep within the pages. “Just do whatever it takes to get them off your scent.”

Aina, thoroughly baffled, turns around.

“Hey, Galo,” she calls out. “Good job out there today!”

Galo stops fiddling with his Matoi and looks up. Lio hazards a glance at his face, and nearly goes blind from the smile on it. He sinks back into the newspaper, heart crashing against his ribs like a caged animal. That smile is a public health hazard. Surely there are laws.

“Thanks, Aina!” Galo replies. “You too! You should show off your fancy flyin’ more often.”

Lucia taps his elbow, returning his attention to something Matoi-related, and Aina glances quizzically at the three former Burnish.

“Any of you feel like telling me what that was about?” she asks.

“Not really,” Gueira says. “But thanks!”

As Aina walks away, muttering under her breath, Lio’s head emerges from the newspaper.

“I can only assume that had something to do with your absurd hypothesis.”

Meis rests his chin in one palm, his eyes full of cold deliberation.

“You forced our hand, Boss.”

Meis cuts his eyes over to Galo, who seems, if Lio’s interpretation of his gestures is accurate, to be pressing Lucia to add a laser-cannon to his Matoi Tech.

“And now it’s your turn,” Gueira says.

Lio balks. “Wait, wh—”

“So Boss,” Meis’ voice isn’t loud, but it cuts through the air like a scythe through wheat. “What was it you were saying earlier about that big lug’s firefighting technique?”

On the other side of the room, something metallic hits the ground with a deep clunk, like a wrench being dropped.

“Yeah!” Gueira chimes in. “How did you put it, exactly? I can’t seem to remember the specifics.”

Lio wishes he could still summon hellfire to his fingertips, because both his former generals could look a bit less delighted at the way Galo has abandoned any interest in his Matoi Tech.

“Did I mention anything of the sort?” Lio grits out. “Or are you sure you didn’t just imagine it?”

Meis and Gueira are struggling to keep their composure as Galo unsubtly maneuvers himself into better earshot.

“No, Boss, you definitely had thoughts,” Gueira says weakly.

It doesn’t take much to untangle their little scheme. They asked Aina to compliment Galo first, so Lio could see his normal response. Apparently they expect his reaction to Lio’s praise to be a bit more spectacular.

They are fools.

Lio sighs. It’s a shame, really, that his friends’ intelligence departed along with their Promare.

“Very well,” he breathes. Then, in a voice barely above a murmur, he says: “Yes, I suppose Galo did a fine job toda—”

Lio’s voice chokes off as Galo materializes next to the table, his expression rapt.

“You do?!” he cries out, overjoyed.

Gueira makes a bizarre noise, like a strangled cat, and vanishes under the table. Meis steeples his fingers and hides the lower half of his face behind them.

Lio stares up at Galo. Everything inside his head evaporates, replaced by high-pitched, keening static.

“Do I…what?” he asks numbly.

It’s so hard to think with Galo’s abs just. Right there.

“You think I did a good job!” Galo looks like someone has just offered him unlimited free pizza, and also the moon.

“Well,” Lio manages to say, “You did.”

Meis and Gueira are both making odd sounds, and in the small part of Lio’s brain that isn’t buzzing, he realizes they’re trying to suppress laughter.

“I’m so happy!” Galo proclaims, as though his blinding smile doesn’t adequately communicate that.

The wheels of Lio’s mind slowly creak back into motion.

Yes, he has to acknowledge, it does seem that Galo…greatly values his feedback. As a colleague, of course.

Because that’s really what they are: colleagues. Possibly friends, Lio admits. Friends, who have in the very recent past piloted a planet-sized mechanical monstrosity fueled by fire and human spirit, and maybe…perhaps there is a little affection there, but nothing more.

“I think you did a wonderful job too, Lio!”

And Galo grips him by the arms, lifting him bodily out of his seat and pulling him into his chest. Gueira and Meis flee the room, cackling like hyenas.

“I think you do everything wonderfully!”

“Galo,” Lio wheezes as he’s crushed against Galo’s solid pecs. “Ow—”

After some squirming, he loosens Galo’s grip on him enough to stare him dead in the face.

“Put me down.”

Galo’s eyes go wide.

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

Galo gently lowers him until his feet touch the floor again. Lio straightens his clothes, then squares himself to face Galo.

“All right. What the hell was that?”

The ecstatic look on Galo’s face slides into a hesitant, kicked-puppy expression. Lio’s heart promptly rips itself in half.

“I just—” Galo says, right as Lio jumps in: “Never mind, it’s fine—”

They stare at each other, locked in silent misery on two sides of an invisible wall.

“For fuck’s sake!” Lucia explodes. Galo and Lio both jump. They’d forgotten she was still in the room. “This is a thousand times worse than watching Remi try to waltz with his alligator girlfriend.”

“Really?” replies Aina, who has been on the couch the entire time. “Because that was pretty bad.”

Before Lio can ask “what alligator girlfriend,” Galo cups his face in his (large, warm) hands.

“I’m sorry I lost my cool there, Lio,” he says earnestly. “I just thought…maybe, at last, you had…”

“Had what?” Lio asks, his voice weak and punched-out.

“I thought you were finally starting to like me.” Galo’s eyebrows scrunch together, adorably. “Back, I mean.”

In the recesses of his mind, Lio wonders if Galo accidentally choked him into unconsciousness and this is all a dream.

“Like you…back?”

“Yeah. I thought I was being too obvious about it—I mean, everyone told me I was being really aggressive, so I tried to dial it back, but I’m not good at that, and…”

Galo’s voice fades into static, because Lio’s brain has turned to water. He wouldn’t be surprised if it melted right out his ears.

Obvious. Aggressive.

“Idiot,” whispers Lio.

“Yeah,” Galo says sadly. “I guess so.”

“No. Not you.”

Galo’s eyebrows scrunch even closer together. He’s still cupping Lio’s face.

Lio doubles down.

“I’m going to do something now,” he says. “That I think will save us some time.”

He goes on tiptoe, and presses his lips to Galo’s.

It’s a peck, really: quick and chaste, but Lio still feels like he jammed a fork into an electrical socket. As they separate, the look on Galo’s face suggests he feels something similar.

“You’re right,” he says, gravelly. “That does save time.”

��Should we save some more?”

Galo, temporarily mute, nods, and pulls Lio in for a considerably longer and less chaste kiss.

Lucia cups her hands around her mouth and hollers: “Yooo, everybody, it’s finally happening!”

Aina chides: “Come on, they don’t need everyone watching.”

Lucia just guffaws. “Sore because you owe me twenty bucks now, huh?”

[empireburned-archive]

jen pick three of your ocs that you don't get to write enough AND TELL US ABOUT THEM

HMMM this is a tough one lottie but let’s see…  i’m gonna cheat and do four

autumn mills.  Okay so Autumn is my newest OC and honestly I’ve completely fallen in love with her.  So she is a muse based on Amazon’s series The Boys, but she is compatible with really any superhero genre universe.  She’s had the ability to manipulate the elements ever since she was a child  (she currently doesn’t know that she was administered Compound V as an infant).  Unfortunately, she kind of relates her abilities to her parents’ constant exploitation of her for fame and money, so she’s a bit jaded when it comes to what she can do.  For that reason, she doesn’t really have much interest in using her powers to ‘save the world,’  nor does she really feel the obligation to help anyone.  She’s also very much aware that supes tend to be nothing more than products created and marketed by rich people, and she’s very vocal against the whole concept of the Seven because they’re more or less greedy frauds in her opinion.  BASICALLY she’s just a very jaded young woman who really just needs to find something to believe in again.  She’s been on her own for so long (she left home at the age of 18 and never looked back) that she really just doesn’t believe in the good of humanity, and I’m really looking forward to the prospect of what her character development can be like.

lydia shaw.  I have a LOT of feelings about my baby Lydia.  I’ve always been extremely fascinated by the tragedy of the Titanic, so she kind of reflects that.  Basically, Lydia was born to a wealthy family in England.  It’s a tale as old as time;  she butts heads with her stuffy mother a lot.  Her brother James is her best friend.  She’s also pretty much a daddy’s girl, although even some of his expectations for her rub her the wrong way.  Anyways, her entire family takes the ill-fated maiden voyage of the Titanic to New York.  Lydia’s a bright-eyed girl who sees all sorts of possibilities in New York to spread her wings and perhaps finally break out of the cage that is the repressed aristocratic culture she’s been raised in.  She’s very sweet and idealistic, and generally believes in the good in the world.  While on that voyage, she meets Sam Fisher, an employee of the White Star Line, and she’s pretty much smitten with him from the first moment she sees him.  He’s kind of the first love interest she’s had in her life, so she crushes on him very hard.  But of course things end terribly.  Although she fights to stay with the men in her life (her family and Sam), eventually, Lydia is set into a lifeboat with her mother and rowed away from the sinking ship.  She loses her brother, her father, and (she believes) Sam to the wreck.

The tragedy really forces Lydia to grow up and give up on a lot of her dreams.  It’s the first time she’s harshly introduced to the idea that life is full of hardships.  For quite a while, she’s a ghost of her former self.  Her mother tries to make the best of their circumstances in New York, and often comes across as though she’s not affected by what’s happened, which becomes an area of contention between the two of them.  Eventually, her mother pressures her into accepting the proposal of the son of a wealthy oil tycoon, which she inevitably does.  And even though he’s not a terrible guy, he’s still not someone she loves, so that’s a struggle for her.  Inevitably, Lydia becomes a bit rebellious and chops her hair into a bob and becomes a full-fledged flapper, much to her mother’s dismay, and really she’s just trying to find her way in the world and she needs love and friendship and something to kind of help her feel alive again

hattie price.  So Hattie really started off being just a convenient figure in a much larger Victorian era plot with Lottie and Ace, but she’s kind of become so much more than that to me?  Like when I first created her, the idea I had in my head was of this vindictive, shallow woman and she evolved into one of the most selfless and compassionate muses I’ve written.  Basically, her family life has never been great.  Her parents always doted on her older brother;  he was the star of the family, and they set a lot of expectations and hope on his shoulders.  Hattie was an accident more than anything, and was often treated as such.  She was usually ignored and neglected in favour of her brother.

But then her brother foolishly got himself into a duel and was killed as a result.  With only Hattie left as a potential bargaining chip for the family and their continued wealth, the Prices had her married off to Edward Teague, a man who couldn’t have been less interested in her if he’d tried.  Basically, she goes from being neglected by her parents to being neglected by her husband.  He inevitably strikes up an affair with one of the maids, Maria Sparrow, which results in the birth of Jack.  But of course, in an effort to avoid scandal, Hattie and Maria are both sent away for the duration of Maria’s pregnancy, and when Hattie returns, they pass Jack off as her son.  While she is understandably bitter about the circumstances, she loves the hell out of Jack and raises him to the best of her abilities, and always makes sure that he knows he’s loved and taken care of.

Honestly, Hattie is just so lonely though??  Her husband hates her, and when Jack finds out he’s been lied to his whole life, he kind of shuts her out too.  She definitely struggles with depression, even if she tries to hide it.  She just needs love and attention and friends and basically something to keep her HAPPY because she’s such a supportive and loving person herself and she deserves better.

jacqueline rousseau.  AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, Jacqueline.  Jackie is my oldest OC in the indie world.  She actually used to have her own blog before I got into the multimuse game.  She’s a very independent woman.  She’s got a temper (typical Aries) and isn’t afraid to give a tongue-lashing when needed.  She had a very rough childhood.  Her mother died shortly after giving birth to her brother Christophe, and her father (who was already a belligerent gambler with a drinking problem) became ten times more abusive when saddled with two children he never wanted.  Jacqueline became her brother’s sole caretaker, and probably would have continued on that path, had her father not attempted to sell her to a local brothel for a decent sum of money.  She was forced to leave St. Lucia at that point, and because she didn’t have the means to care for Christophe as well as herself, had to leave him behind with the promise that she would return for him as soon as possible.

From there, Jacqueline stowed away aboard a pirate ship, unbeknownst to her, and rather unintentionally fell into piracy.  Her quick wit, scrappy nature, and “lack of ladylike manners” led her to fit in rather well, and with the captain’s protection, she eventually became a part of the crew. There, she learned how to fight, how to shoot a pistol, how to handle a sword, etc.  With this experience, Jacqueline decided that she would have to earn her way up the ranks and become a pirate captain herself.  Once she had a ship of her own, she’d be able to return to St. Lucia and rescue her brother from her father’s clutches.

Jackie’s a very reckless woman.  She’s definitely a spitfire.  But she’s also very compassionate, especially when it comes to people who are down on their luck, or who have been forced to flee their circumstances in the hopes of a better life.  She’s very closed off about her thoughts and emotions, though, after years of having to keep them to herself as a child.  I just really love her and I haven’t had much of a chance to explore more situations with her and see how she develops, nor have I had a chance to really deal with the aftermath of her inevitably returning home to find that her brother was murdered so I NEED ALL OF THAT.

SO ANYWAY that being said, come at me to write with my babes!!!

[schattenkindx-blog]

7 questionable Tales of Merfolk in Anime

Nisekoi  Before the miscroscopic imaginary being recast seafolk as tragic romantic heroes, sirens were creatures you ne'er wished to encounter on the open ocean. recognizing one or a lot of fitly hearing one meant you and your fellow shipmates attained a unidirectional price tag to the frigid depths. Mermaids were way more fascinated by luring men to their doom than shacking up with them in a very beachside castle.

 Formidable as they were, there area unit still dozens of variations of some trained worker obtaining wise and deciding to hale one into changing into his married person. typically this concerned stealing one thing from her throughout a vulnerable moment, AN alternate skin or gown, that will enable her to come back to the ocean. Her agency taken, many seafolk went domestic however the story perpetually ends with them acquisition no matter item it absolutely was and ditching their husband-captor directly. perhaps all the sirens, selkies, and melusines were malicious in response? United Nations agency is aware of. however it's these legends moreover as Japan's own distinctive myths concerning girls of the ocean that provide America the variability of mermaids found in anime.

Mermaid Melody: Fabiana imbricata Fabiana imbricata Pitch Michiko Yokote could be a fashionable anime writer with credits spanning loads of genres. She's worked on Rumiko Takahashi anime variations, The fatal lifetime of Saiki K., and this season's Tsurune. In 2003, she wrote a manga series for the shojo magazine Nakayoshi based mostly loosely off Hans Christian Andersen's the miscroscopic imaginary being. That manga, and ulterior anime series, was imaginary being Melody: Fabiana imbricata Fabiana imbricata Pitch. The anime is takes a number of parts|the weather} lost within the Walter Elias Disney version (namely the mermaid's fate to show into seafoam) then again adds a bunch of additional elements as anime is accustomed do. The heroine Lucia is already a imaginary being patrician in her title however she'll have to be compelled to hone her singing powers to become AN idol with fellow imaginary being royalty if she's attending to head off the incursive water demon force. i ponder why Hans Christian Andersen did not place that half in his original story?

Muromi-san Mermaids area unit caught in one in all 2 nets: stunning nonnatural beings or terrific flesh eaters. Muromi-san managed to flee from each and dive deep into slapstick stupidity. I say this with the kindest intentions, however Muromi could be a massive ol' dummy and therefore the poor guy that reeled her informed his line is curst her. and every one of her outrageous friends and foes. Muromi-san's world is one in all not simply mermaids, however additionally letter, harpies, and yetis. None of those monsters can get in between Muromi and her professed love for Takurō, the miserable guy United Nations agency desires nothing over to travel back to his peaceful fishing life.

 Raku Ichijou, a first student at Bonyari highschool, is that the sole heir to associate degree discouraging yakuza family. 10 years agone, Raku created a promise to his childhood friend. Now, all he needs to continue may be a pendant with a lock, which may solely be unfastened with the key that the woman took together with her once they compound. nisekoi characters

 Now, years later, Raku has adult into a typical stripling, and every one he desires is to stay as uninvolved in his yakuza background as potential whereas defrayment his college days aboard his lyceum crush Kosaki Onodera. However, once the yankee Bee Hive Gang invades his family's turf, Raku's idyllic romantic dreams square measure sent for a toss as he's dragged into a frustrating conflict: Raku is to faux that he's during a romantic relationship with Chitoge Kirisaki, the gorgeous girl of the Bee Hive's chief, therefore on scale back the friction between the 2 teams. sadly, reality couldn't be farther from this banging lie—Raku and Chitoge fall in hate initially sight, because the woman is convinced he's a pathetic pushover, and in Raku's eyes, Chitoge is concerning as enticing as a savage great ape.

 Nisekoi follows the daily antics of this mismatched couple United Nations agency are forced to induce on for the sake of maintaining the city's peace. With more ladies taking drugs his life, all committed Raku's past somehow, his hunt for the woman United Nations agency holds his heart and his promise leads him in additional surprising directions than he expects.

 Nisekoi  EP.1

Nisekoi  EP.2

Nisekoi  EP.3

Nisekoi  EP.4

Nisekoi  EP.5

Nisekoi  EP.6

Nisekoi  EP.7

Nisekoi  EP.8

Nisekoi  EP.9

Nisekoi  EP.10

Nisekoi  EP.11

Nisekoi  EP.12

[radiantxhero-moved-blog]

This isn’t really something I’ve really seriously addressed before in relation to my Ike, I think? But it just struck me that I don’t think I’d ever made a post about this, and now I’m going to rant just a little bit.

Why Ike leaves Tellius.

Being a part of his father’s mercenary group was a boyish dream of his, and as soon as it was realized, I think the reality of it was immediately hammered into his head. Ike had trained in swordplay since he was a boy, but all those lessons weren’t able to prepare him for that moment he actually killed another man. True, the men he fought against on that first mission of his weren’t good people, but they were still living, breathing people. They dreamed, they lived, they bled just like him.

There wasn’t anything really special about that man, but Ike thinks back on the first person he ever killed, and it instills in him that ideal of not fighting or killing for its own sake. Senseless violence was senseless, there was no justifying it,

Taking on Elincia as an employer was something Ike took seriously, but was still relatively naive about. It seemed simple to him at first; escort her to Gallia, and they’d get the help they needed to win Crimea back from Ashnard. And then they had to abruptly flee their home, setting the old fort Ike had known as a home for most of his years to flame as they fought through Daein soldiers.

Even if he doesn’t say as such, that night was both a wake up call to the situation, as well as a bit of a blow to him personally. Ike understood the reasoning behind it, but seeing your home -- your childhood home -- burn isn’t exactly a good moment.

And then, Greil is slain right in front of him, and he can do nothing but drag his father’s body back through the forest as rain pours down. Greil speaking to him until no more words come, no more breath, only blood and rain. 

Gallia cannot help as they had hoped, and Ike not only has to take the mantle of his father as leader of the Greil Mercenaries, but he’s also responsible for fulfilling their obligations to Elincia. All on the heels of Greil’s death, and with two of the group’s members leaving. 

By this point, Ike is effectively functioning on numbed grief and anger, and his sense of duty and morality.

This was nothing he wanted, and as much as they get closer to their goal and he gets closer to some sort of closure, this feeling doesn’t really leave and even builds up. For every success, there’s some sort of drawback that just goes against his grain. Everything in Begnion is just...a mess to him. As much as he respects Sanaki for what she does, he despises how she went about getting it all done, he despises the politics, he despises the people that play the politics. It disgusts him beyond words or reason, and if he could never tread into Begnion again, I honestly think he would avoid it as much as humanly possible. Even something like being a lord or a general, something that most would see as a good thing, just doesn’t sit right with Ike for a few reasons.

Every single clash he has with the Black Knight is an outlet to his fury and his grief. The Black Knight is a man who has taken his father from him, and takes Ike’s resolve to not kill for the sheer brutality of killing every single time they meet. This man is one that Ike would risk all things to kill. He risks the war against Daein for it, and he later risks the continent of Tellius for it. When Ike “wins”, it doesn’t quite feel right, but he forces himself to accept the victory and not question it too much because if he follows that inkling of doubt, it would drive him mad.

Finding out the information Volke has about his parents, as well as the medallion is just...unnerving and heartbreaking. It shatters a lot of his views on Greil, leaving him confused and feeling almost betrayed by his father, and with no way to rectify those feelings since Greil is now gone and can’t provide any answers or anything. Not mentioning any of this to his sister was both a blessing and a curse, but Ike couldn’t bring himself to simply tell her the grisly truth.

Fighting Ashnard is a mix of things. The need to win to end this war and Ashnard’s plans to release the dark god, fulfilling his pledge to Elincia who has become more of a friend than just an employer. But, also, the fear of coming up against someone who -- in some part -- embodies that dark, secretive side of his father. Knowing that Greil had fallen to the medallion’s powers and killed his mother, facing off against a man who willingly accepted such a chaotic state of mind was terrifying. 

The rebuilding of Crimea wasn’t so bad, but as things got back to normal, that meant that -- as a “lord” and now hero of the country -- Ike is exposed to yet more things he just can’t get behind. He doesn’t want to be involved in the politics, he doesn’t want the attention of being a “hero”, he doesn’t want to stay and end up some figurehead or political pawn. He leaves. No pomp, no explanation, he simply informs Elincia that he’s renouncing his title and goes. 

And, even after all that and going into practical hiding after the war, all hell breaks loose three years later. Uprising in Daein, civil war in Crimea, and all out war between the Laguz nations and the Begnion Empire. 

Stepping in to save Lucia wasn’t an issue. Not only was it a paying job, but it was helping out people that Ike considered good friends and allies; he wasn’t going to stand by and do nothing. The same thing goes for the Laguz-Begnion war; though he has friends on both sides, technically, Ike knows that the Laguz are more in the right. But things still quickly spiral out of hand.

Fighting against former allies doesn’t sit right with Ike, even when he knows that there isn’t any other way. Learning that the Black Knight still lives is...partially expected, since his victory three years prior didn’t feel like a true conclusion, but it’s still a sharp sting to Ike. 

Things, somehow, get worse. While the waking of Ashera does rally people together to fight for the world as a united force, it still ends up putting Ike in a position he’s not comfortable with: being the commander of their united forces. He has to be tricked and pigeonholed into the position of commander. He didn’t want it back in the Mad King war, he doesn’t want it now at the potential end of the world.

Fighting through the zealots is taxing in so many ways, on the mind and body. Fighting through the tower is even more so trying. The tower itself is strange, as stated by Yune herself; it could literally fuck with their minds if they didn’t stay focused. His final encounter with the Black Knight is inevitable, and while Ike knows that there are technically more pressing matters to deal with, still prioritizes this battle over all. Magical force field that separates him from the others be damned, Ike doesn’t seem too bothered if it means killing this man.

He does get some sort of closure from besting Zelgius, but I don’t think it was as freeing as Ike thought it would be all this time. Then he gets his previously sealed memories returned to him, most notably of the day Greil went mad from touching the medallion and slayed Elena. This reopens that wound in a brutal way, and he can’t even fully process it because they still have to get through several more levels of the tower.

The dragons of Goldoa being ready to suffer genocide if it means stopping this groups resistance of the end of the world. This is just messed up on a lot of levels that Ike will never understand or want to explore.

Everything that is Sephiran.

Ashera herself. She’s so bent and warped from what she and Yune once were that it’s impossible not to pity this being. Slaying her does little to ease that sense of wrongness that came with beholding the goddess in her own madness; the entire situation just felt wrong somehow, even though it saved Tellius from a terrible fate.

It’s absolutely no consolation to know that the gods were so very human in the end. There was no greater purpose or reason for all of this, just mistakes made by beings that thought they knew better. 

What is he supposed to do now, after slaying a god? Where does he go after such a deed? Ike is once again toted as a great hero, like it was he alone that did this when there were so many by his side that made any of it possible. 

Long ass fucking story short: Ike is utterly lost as to who he is, and what he should do after this.

So many things in his life was just going from duty to duty to duty. Becoming leader of the Greil Mercenaries before he was ready or wanted to. Becoming a lord and general to complete his task to Elincia. Fighting, searching for, and eventually slaying the Black Knight to avenge his father’s death. Leading the charge against god because he is who so many look up to for strength and guidance as a leader.

All Ike ever really wanted was to become a swordsman worthy of being his father’s son. 

At his core, his desire is very simple and easy to relate with, and while he does achieve this, it gets weighed down by so many other things that I don’t think he ever gets to fully realize that he has��accomplished it or think about anything else he may want to do with his life.

This is why he leaves. He’s lost, he’s tired, and for once in his life he chooses to do something selfish. Ike feels the loss of purpose after everything in Tellius starts to move its way to a better future. All he’s known is other people’s expectations of what he should or needs to do. He needs to get away from that for a while. He needs to find a new purpose for himself. If Tellius isn’t ready to treat him as the simple man he wants to be, then he’ll find someplace he can be a nobody in until he finds his center of purpose again.

Maybe he planned to return, maybe he does, and maybe he didn’t. It may not have been the right decision or a good decision, but Ike made that choice for himself.