#I TOLD YOU SO MOM YOU DIDNT BELIEVE HE WAS BI BUT WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE

[feelingthedisaster]

i left the 911 fandom for so little time and BUCK IS CANONICLY BI NOW?????? LETS GO!!!!!!!

[fellasleepinbaltimore]

sometimes I get scared I don't know my family. I think I know how I am in a sense and in the future that might include making certain... hormonal changes yk if I ever get to that point but honestly I'm not rushing into anything and I'm not thinking too much about the future I think just the next year or two is as far forward as I can think. well anyway I'm sort of scared my family wouldn't be as accepting as I think they would be.

when I came out as gay my family didn't care but that was in like 2014, in a liberal state granted culturally it wouldn't be accepted but like I know I was lucky in a lot of ways but I also think being gay was easier to understand and accept yk. I get the sentiment that they'd accept me as I am, yk no matter what they'd have love for me. but I don't know if they'd understand me and I still have doubts they'd accept it.

like I've heard my dad talk about trans people before, he thinks nbs are like ridiculous and I honestly don't know that I've heard him talk about trans issues like seriously it's always as a joke like "pronouns now a days" or "well we don't know if he says he's a woman, you don't know how he identifies" and to me yeah this seems like at best he doesn't take it seriously or get it and at worst he doesn't believe trans people exist and thinks they're being ridiculous snowflakes or something. but it's also like my dad makes those jokes like he's called me a fag jokingly before and I'm not trying to be like "my dad isn't homophobic I swear" it would be easier to think he was but he isn't that's just how he is he thinks saying the most offensive anti pc culture thing is funny. I can't really say he's an ally tho? and idk how he treats other gay men but honestly I think sometimes... it rubs him the wrong way like in his heart I think there's a part of him that doesn't get it and doesn't like operate from an understanding that like gay people make up a fundamental part of the world. like it feels like a it doesn't really affect me so I don't think about it, my kids gay tho and I don't really care but I'm not putting any work in to like understand them or they're situation.

like the other day I got called a fag and I didn't tell him bc like I just didn't think he'd say the right thing like idk I thought he'd be like maybe they weren't saying it to you or idk what he even could have said but it feels like something I'd tell my father if I thought my father got it.

so if I were to like yk make the change I genuinely don't know how he'd react I think on one hand he'd think it was ridiculous like I mean when I did the gender marker (tbh I shouldn't have don't but honestly I needed to like have something to like idk y'all know what I mean) and he was like why'd you do that?! and I was like cos I wanted to and we didn't talk about it

and like I said I just don't think he gets it and I don't think he's interested in getting it by any means like. I don't think he cares what it's like to be a gay man or anything or a trans woman or whatever I don't know that idk

and he's said he doesn't care it isn't any of his business or whatever like I told him I was bi and he was like okay?? fuck do I care and like idk if that's like ughhh LIKE TOLERANCE IS NOT SUPPORT and it's not even tolerance it's apathy but like I know he's not apathetic either?? bc clearly he cares a little? so like idk he's the one I mostly worried about and that's mostly bc I live with him.

like I didnt even come out to him I came out to my siblings and my mom and that's it. I was living with my mom at the time so it felt more important to tell them and I cared more about their feelings and acceptance than my dad but mostly I was afraid to tell him so I didn't. but now I live with him and this is a kinda more hot button thing than being gay? kinda? not really tho I guess but idk. and no one like would be able to defend me bc they probably don't get it either! so it's like.

on one hand I feel like everyone would be relatively cool with trans shit but on the other hand I can see it being a like bigger subject especially if it was like me transitioning yk. like my dad doesn't care about like most of my friend or anything like that like I don't think he'd care much or at least he wouldn't say anything like he's usually polite or filters hisself so it's like idk he wouldn't like flip out on anyone I knew but it's also like I'm just I wish I could be sure he was a safe person like that's it

like I haven't even told anyone in my family really I'm nonbinary or what to change my name or any of that like it's just like... it feels so nitpicky to explain like when I was younger it's like yeah it mattered for them to know but now it's like if they don't get me they don't get it but maybe I'm afraid to say something too like I don't wanna have the conversation with them about what it means or what I'm really thinking about bc it's like I don't want to be told im being dramatic or clueless.

and he's kinda right like it doesn't really matter that much but also it's just a bullshit cop out to not have to talk about it like... I would have to draw a line and distance myself and pretend to be someone or something else with my family like... he thinks coming out is dumb it's no one's business and I agree it is no one's business but when you tell someone ur queer it's so they understand you better bc your understanding is important... and I don't think he gets it

I think my siblings would be ok with it like the idea and such they might not be perfect but yk they'd try I think and I think my mom would too even my stepdad might and I don't think my dad would reject me I just think he'd stand in the corner saying "alright if you say so" and then id have to endure transphobic jokes

and it doesn't matter how I feel. and as long as he's not paying for it I'm sure he wouldn't care.

[queer-as-frikc]

My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3

[crimeronan]

i told the trc group chat “adam probably has so much trouble convincing people hes fully human and not fey” to which the response was “is he really sure though”

which naturally spawned “changeling adam parrish who thinks hes human”

which turned into a whole shitpost AU are yall ready

blue is the human child who was stolen and raised by faeries

“but gender??” you say. adams a trans guy and blue is nb and doesnt understand the gender binary because we in the trc group chat can do what we want

the women of fox way arent the ones who stole her or gave adam up, but they are the ones whove raised blue

piper greenmantle did the swap and then realized she didnt wanna raise a human baby any more than a fairy baby so she was like hey do u guys want this thing or should i leave it in the woods or what

(why piper?? because: its hilarious)

the women of fox way really really want adam too but theyre waiting to approach him until hes an adult because they assume he has a loving human family (he does not) and if hes gonna be part of their world he shouldnt have to choose between them

so adam grows up really insistent that hes human and confused about why hes so fucking weird and then figuring out the trans thing is like AHA THIS IS IT and then he still feels weird and figures out the bi thing like AHA THIS IS IT and then still feels weird and is like HOW MUCH INTROSPECTION DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, UNIVERSE

so everyones like 19 or 20 at this point, right

gansey is an avid faery researcher whose life was saved by the fey as a child and since then hes been desperately trying to find them to understand the Meaning of his Life

his asshole roommate ronan lynch has no problem believing in faeries and joining him on the search

his other roommate noah keeps joking about being fey

(hes not joking.)

(no one believes him.)

(replace the cheek smudge with glitter and one pointed ear and youve got the gist)

meeting adam ganseys immediately noting the uncanny ethereal things about him like “do you think hes.....?” and ronans like “nah hes just a loser”

blue brings adam to the fox way house one day knowing exactly who the fuck he is like “hello my lovely family. this is adam he doesnt have a place to spend the night so hes sleeping on the couch”

when adam does find out about the fey thing blue brings him to cabeswater (because this is the place the faeries live when theyre not pretending to be human) and for adam theres this sudden sense of stillness and peace hes never had before

“this is my sleeping tree. that i sleep in” “why not...... your bed” “why would i sleep in my bed when i could sleep in a tree” “blue are you absolutely sure youre human”

adam is at first insistent that theres nothing faery about him and even if hes TECHNICALLY fey it doesnt impact how he perceives/experiences the world at all but then sometimes he’ll zone out and the groupll be like “what are you doing” and hes like “listening to the brook” and theyre like “the one.... half a mile away....?”

as the group coalesces and secrets begin to be traded ganseys like “what. how is everyone i care about turning out to be fey. well at least ronan’s human so im not the only one”

ronan: yeah, uh. about that

“ET TU, BRUTE????”

“IT’S LIKE FOUR GENERATIONS BACK ON MY MOMS SIDE IT BARELY COUNTS”

anyway gansey isnt as human as he thinks because to save his life he was gifted with some faery life energy

but they dont figure that out until way later

there were other details im forgetting now but thats the gist of it. trc group chat is full of galaxy brains

[notyourkindofp3ople]

For coming out day, what did your coming outs looked like? (if you don't mind talkin about it)

Well I was 19 and wasnt the best motive to come out but I was dumb and still am.

Back then i was dating a guy who was 26 (I know i know) who also was divorcing his wife and had a kid ( I knoooooow) lol so i dated him for like 3 months in which we saw esch other a little not too much but i liked him. The thing is that I was unsecure and still am. I was jealous bc as he was Bisexual I was afraid he would go back to his ex or cheat. So after a few of my dramas he decided to stop things and as we say here me mando a la verga. So to try to fix it i told him that for him i would even come out. That way we could go out without me having to lie to where i was going or with whom. He ignored me and didnt say nothing. I still did it. So I called my mom and told them that i needed to talk to them when they came back and they said ok well be there in a few. So when they came back i hd them sit. And i couldnt believe how hard would be to say one single word. But i managed to gather courage and said i was bisexual (back then i thought i was bi) they cried but took it very well. They said they knew but where waiting for me to tell them. Of course i cried as well too. Deep down I think after all i wasnt really doing it for the guy. Bc i never got to see him again. Deep down i think i just wanted a reason for me to finally be true to myself. Then after a few months i had to give them the update that i was gay lol. And ever since they have been learning from me everything i can teach them about being me being part of the lgbtq comunnity. Why is the same as being straight the only difference is i like guys. Love is love after all. Sometimes its still hard for them to accept some things but i try to teach them and so far is going very well

So yeah that’s my story i would like to hear all of yours stories and if its ok to post them so others can see them. I think coming out stories are important bc they give us that courage that we need. Even if they arent happy coming out stories they show us the reallity and prepare us for it. Bit even if its not a happy story with the family it is a happy story about you. Bc you get to be more you than you had been before

[lasercruz]

@quarterdollar​ fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call?  No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i  have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1     .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?  nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i  just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔  i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg  theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding?  yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery?  dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that  and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile  😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting?  its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty  sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and  okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

[neutralchaos1]

ramblings about my life.

I've been debating about saying anything because of how personal this is all is and because I'm not sure if i should but... in light of recent events happening in my life, I'm going to anyways. Cw:manipulation and emotional abuse.

So! For those that do not know, about 3 years ago I went through some massive changes in my life. I started to talk to people again. What that's no big deal" You might say but for me it was. You see, before that I talked with only a few people: my coworkers (nothing personal) my Mom, my then husband and my kids. That's it. I had very little contact with the outside world beyond that. How did this start? Well, for about a year now I had been lurking on ao3 , reading stories and leaving kudos as a guest, when I decided after seeing all those authors in the end notes saying to follow them on tumblr, to sign up for it. I made a blog and hit follow for a few of my favorite authors. I was 27.

It took a bit but finally gathered up the courage to start talking with one of those authors, which led me to me other great authors, which led me to a fantastic little community that's been insanely supportive.

But the massive shift/change in my life happened, when I vented to a new friend about my then husband. I thought I was being silly and overreacting when he was getting drunk for the 4th time that week. That I was being upset for nothing when he tried to grope and initiate sex with me and I said I didnt feel like it, only to feel like an asshole when he drew away and locked himself in "His" room to play video games without a saying a word.

They asked me why I felt bad about that. I told them, because I said no and hes upset with me now. They outright told me that him being upset was his issue. I had every right to say no. No Nonono they didnt understand, when I said no, I would get ignored until I said yes. Full silent treatment.

I could go on, but after a few conversations like this, it finally started to dawn on me, that they were right. Why did I feel bad for saying no? I shouldnt. It wasnt like I always said no, I said yes quite frequently even when i didn't feel like it, just to avoid feeling unwanted in my home.

This started a whole of thinking, like, how I never got to go out on my own. Even if I was with family, I would get phone calls every 1/2 hour, "when are you coming home". I couldn't leave the house without the kids even to run to the store quickly without it becoming A thing. If I was invited to something and he wasnt, I would inevitably wind up not going because he felt slighted. But i supposed to be cool with it if he disappeared for hours on end. That he got to indulge in his hobbies and mine were labeled "Boring". That he got to talk with his friends but mine were scrutinized and had ulterior motives.

When I tried to bring all this up, I was met with 'Okay, let's do more stuff together." Except it was all the stuff he wanted to do. I couldnt play video games for hours on end Because... well, responsibilities. Someone had to take care of the kids. Someone had to tidy up the house. Someone had to make sure we had groceries. And that was an issue, because apparently doing this for an hour or so with him wasnt enough. I tried to get him to do things that we both loved to do. We were both artists, why not make something together? Why not play that card game we liked? Maybe we could invite some people over and have a games night? All were shot down.

It was during this that while talking with people still, i was figuring out that... well... I wasnt as straight as I had been led to believe. I thought I was just Bi because well, I found people in general attractive. But not in an "I would have sex with them" way. Just nice to look at. Well, dont you get in your pants feelings when you see an attractive person?

No?????? I dont know them?? Why would I think that??

What do you like about a relationship?

Well… I like the closeness. I like being cuddled and watching movies together. I like having someone to talk to, coming home to someone…

These conversations led to me doing research into asexuality. And… there was a word for me!!!! This was me! I found an identity! I was so excited!!!! So I went to tell my best friend. The one person that I could trust with this information, my husband.

I was immediately met with, "So, you never loved me?" What! No. Why would you say that!??? I married you! We have 2 children! We've spent the last decade together!! Why would I do that if I didn't love you? "But you just said that." It was then that it clicked to him sex=love. No sexual attraction meant I didn't love him. I tried to talk with him about this, when it was met with him shutting down and pushing me away, I dropped it. We went back to what was happening before.

A turning point came when he said one day "I'm going to move to [The province he was from]for a year" why? "I have unfinished business there and I feel like I can deal with it better there without having to worry about and girls"

This sparked an enormous argument, because essentially to me this translated to "I'm going to go and take a year off from being a father and husband" he threw my sexuality into my face. He accused me of cheating on him. I told him that that's not the way things worked. You don't get to just leave your family for a year!

After a lot of arguing, we decided that a separation was in order. All of sudden I felt… lighter. Yes this was going to be hard, but doable. I had a few months before he left(I pleaded with him not leave until after Christmas], I could get a job and make sure I had childcare while he was still here to help with the kids! Except no. He checked out. He wouldn't look at the kids. He said I had to get used to doing stuff on my own, so to pretend he was just my roommate. While I was trying to secure things for me and the kids, he was getting drunk and… well… for lack of better wording, shit-talking about me to everyone with ears. He was telling everyone that I was crazy, i was brainwashed by Tumblr and the feminists on there. They made me into a lesbian. That I was broken. That I never loved him. That I was cheating on him with a supportive friend…. Etc…  he did this the entire 3 months before he left. He isolated me from people one last time.

In the year that followed him leaving, I would get manipulative text messages from him in the middle of the night. He threatened to use the kids as a weapon against me. He would say stuff that made me feel like shit. It got to the point where if my phone popped up with a notification, I would panic. I finally got the courage to mute him, but I never blocked him because he was the father to my kids. I had to be more mature about it. I never spoke publicly about how he treated me because I didn't want to isolate him. I never demanded he pay child support, I was always happy enough if he did send money my way for the kids. I didn't kick up a fuss when I found out that he was dating an old friend less than a month after he left. Hell, I didn't even get mad when I found out she was pregnant with his kid and in his words he was "starting over with a new family" the one thing I always got mad at him for? In the almost 3 years since he left, he has never once spoken to the kids. Not once. Not a card, not an email, not a phone call, not even a goddamn text message.

Why am I bringing this up now? Because he's coming back. Things arent working for him there, so hes moving here. And I'm so scared that hes going to start shit all over again.

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

[n0rdicalien]

Pride Month; Experiences of a Gay Man

Story One - Coming Out: 

I thought I could trust my brother, but It turned out not a good idea. I believe around the time when I was 15 years old? I tried to come out to my brother as bi. The whole terrible gateway to homosexuality conversation from a gay person to a straight person thing. And this was in a car on my way home from school. My brother progressively got more aggressive and offended by the fact I was bi. Drawing attention to the fact “YOU LIKE IT IN THE ASS?” all enraged. I had to lie to him via text saying that I made it up and practicing my acting for a school play. He bought it. When I entered high school, I came out to my friend who I thought I trusted. She ended up blabbing to a friend. I forgave her for it because It really forced me into being who I am and confident. Though later this girl developed a taste for drama and attention. She is a very nice person now. I later came out to my parents, where my dad took it fine. And my mom was a little worried as if it was a phase. 

A friend tried to come out as bi, and I got super offended because I thought he was like.. making fun of me as if it was some kind of fad. This group was really into emo/scene kids. He later fell out of the group and found a closer relationship to drugs. I only found out because he one day asked for cash to buy some from the school's drug dealer. I hope he is doing well. I realized maybe if I had not felt like that.. he may have been my first boyfriend. I did have my first legit boyfriend till i was about 20. Was a big shame because I was pretty love-struck and lonely all through high school.

Story Two - Harrased: Back in high school, a guy harassed me for being depressed and gay (I was on adderal and concerta, and its side effect can cause depression and anxiety. It made me severely depressed/anxious/nauseated. Family environment didnt make it any better). He would message me online calling me a faggot and trying to coerce me to kill myself. And because he went to my school, I felt very unsafe, stalked, and had to ninja around campus in hopes to not be near him. In fact we had mutual friends, whom Im unsure if they really intervened. Ya'know that whole socially irresponsible thing "oh hes nice to me" but yea hes trying to convince your depressed gay friend to kill himself. I later found out that he got caught trying to rape someone. Was a mutual friend's friend's girlfriend??? I never thought to tell my parents/adults at the time. I think I was 16. I think one friend at the time actually really stuck their neck out for me to help me feel safer. Story Three - An encounter. As mentioned before, I was pretty lovestruck in high school. When I was 18, I had been talking to these two dudes from adam4adam. We’d skype often. What happened was it was really one dude, pretending to be two. He would use software to intercept his webcam (when I asked for proof). He played it off as if they were roommates and I was a complete idiot because he played me pretty well. I didnt figure it out until I noticed some inconsistencies in chatting, webcams, as well he accidentally shared the wrong feed through the webcam showing himself.  Before I found out he was a creep. I had planned to meet one roommate, which didn't follow through so I met the other. It didnt really occure to me that this kind of situation should of been a red flag. That the one dude I wanted to meet just couldn't come. Ill add Im really into tall dark haired guys. And this dude I wanted to meet was that. But I met this other dude, and when he got to this park where I lived. He got really aggressive and started forcing me to kiss him. It was my first kiss, and his breath smelt like milk. I said “No, this isnt a good idea” and he's just told me it was fine. ANd after a bit I kind of just gave in as he held me really tight. I am kind very uncertain if I could call this sexual assault or rape. But I know from a technical standpoint, not giving consent, in the beginning, it could be called that.  Story Four - The First I never really thought Id be so averse to Public display of affection. Nothing more than any straight couple would. And its not like I dont like it. Its just the very clear negative attention I noticed. My first boyfriend, I dated a pretty “confident” theater major. We sat in a park at a club event... just on a bench in relationship distance. I believe he was just laying his head on my shoulder.. and I noticed this older dude doing a double take around the corner. It was the first time I experienced bad vibes in this kind, and it occurred to me what potential danger could look like as a gay couple. And I know the double take was at us for different reasons. One body language, the dude was facing towards us, Two, Eye contact, he was literally looking at us, three, environment, the path was straight, where the left side was lined with bushes. I dont believe he could be looking at anything else. This just painted a picture and gave me confidence in the experience.

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 3: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

ao3

Chapter Summary: There's a substitute teacher, Cheryl and Toni have a plan, and Betty is a "good fucking person."

Monday, 7:17 AM

gays united

hbicheryl: good morning gays

wannabett: CHERYL

hbicheryl: good morning gays, cousin betty

hbicheryl: happy?

wannabett: yes

hisshissmotherfucker: why the fuck are you texting us at this ungodly hour

hisshissmotherfucker: go back to sleep

nopeaz: school starts in less than an hour dipshit

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

veroffica: cheryl, you're in a way better mood than normal. what happened?

hbicheryl: im offended! cant i just be in a good mood because i feel like it?

wannabett: no

hbicheryl: fine

hbicheryl: the history teacher is sick so we have a substitute

hisshissmotherfucker: FUCK YES

wannabett: im confused why is this a good thing??

spillthefogarTEA: oh betty

spillthefogarTEA: poor, sweet betty

nopeaz: substitutes are naive and cant control the class

nopeaz: so we can do whatever we want

wannabett: im not sure thats the best idea

spillthefogarTEA: choni and i have history first period with you, cooper

spillthefogarTEA: we'll show you what we mean

8:16 AM

hbicheryl + nopeaz

hbicheryl: this is even better than i thought

nopeaz: he looks so timid

hbicheryl: this is going to be so much fun

hbicheryl: lets begin phase one

8:19 AM

gays united

wannabett: is this cheryl and tonis master plan? to text out in the open?

jugheadalones: theyre cheryl and toni

wannabett: meaning??

jugheadalones: im sure theres more to it than that

goingtoheller: ^^tru

wannabett: i guess ill just have to wait and see

8:23 AM

gays united

wannabett: okay the sub is asking cheryl and toni to get off their phones

wannabett: theyre ignoring him ofc

wannabett: asdJFDJJSSSKKDXM

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT HAPPENED

spillthefogarTEA: HE GRABBED TONIS PHONE RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING STARTLED

goingtoheller: LMAO

spillthefogarTEA: OH SHIT NOW HES READING CHONIS TEXTS FROM TONIS PHONE

wannabett: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

veroffica: I'M WHEEZING

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT DO THE TEXTS SAY

spillthefogarTEA: "maybe after this we can sneak in a quickie between classes"

spillthefogarTEA: "i could finger you up against the bathroom wall"

spillthefogarTEA: "or i could eat you out in the storage closet"

spillthefogarTEA: "of course... youd have to be quiet"

spillthefogarTEA: "do you think you can do that? can you be a good girl for me?"

wannabett: cheryl is as red as her hair

wannabett: toni looks like she wishes the earth would swallow her whole

goingtoheller: I'M DEAD.

veroffica: THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

hbicheryl: GUYS STOP LAUGHING THIS ISNT FUNNY

goingtoheller: no, this is definitely funny.

hisshissmotherfucker: wait were the texts from toni or cheryl??

wannabett: he didnt say

goingtoheller: ooh, any theories? i'm still on team vers. cheryl, can you confirm anything?

hbicheryl: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

veroffica: i should hope so!

jugheadalones: ...i did NOT need to know this much about chonis sex life

wannabett: i guess the sub isnt as incompetent as you thought

spillthefogarTEA: lmao sucks to be you guys

spillthefogarTEA: oh shit i think hes looking at the notifications

spillthefogarTEA: "spill the... fogarty!" yep im done for youre all invited to my funeral except for choni bc they got us into this mess

wannabett: fangs' phones has been confiscated as well as cheryls in case you were wondering

wannabett: haha thats karma i guess

wannabett: fuck now he wants mine too why me??

veroffica: ...guys?

goingtoheller: that was the most exciting thing that i've witnessed secondhand in a WHILE.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hope nothing bad happened to fangs

hisshissmotherfucker: or toni or cheryl or betty

jugheadalones: i wonder whats going on there right now

veroffica: well, i don't have any classes with any of them for a while, so i won't be able to know what happened until they get their phones back.

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^

jugheadalones: ^^

goingtoheller: ^^

12:03 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: WE FINALLY GOT OUR PHONES BACK

hbicheryl: I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE THE FREEDOM

nopeaz: now i just have to go live in a cave for a few years until everyone forgets about that debacle

spillthefogarTEA: thats not going to happen any time soon

goingtoheller: fangs is right, that was iconic.

veroffica: you two will never live that down.

jugheadalones: half of riverdale high is already speculating as to which one of you two sent the texts and which one of you received the texts

hisshissmotherfucker: cheryl, toni, care to make a statement?

hbicheryl: no

nopeaz: fuck off

goingtoheller: well, at least they seem to be on the same page.

wannabett: can we talk about whats REALLY important now??

jugheadalones: and what would that be?

wannabett: ALL FOUR OF US GOT DETENTION!!

veroffica: can the substitute even do that?

spillthefogarTEA: yeah, he wrote us all up for "repeatedly disobeying a clear set of instructions"

nopeaz: at least its only for today

wannabett: ive never gotten detention before! how the hell am i going to explain this to my mom??

hbicheryl: lmao cant relate

wannabett: im a good fucking person i dont deserve this

12:39 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: wait cheryl and toni what was your master plan?

hbicheryl: oh we were just going to sext for a while and then make out in the back of the classroom

veroffica: ...that was a letdown.

goingtoheller: yeah, i expected better.

nopeaz: we were horny when we came up with that plan okay

jugheadalones: now THAT makes more sense

spillthefogarTEA: tbh im still kinda disappointed tho

1:22 PM

gays united

wannabett: SHIT

veroffica: what's wrong, betts?

wannabett: i think the school told my mom about the detention :(

goingtoheller: what makes you think that?

wannabett: shes called me four times today already

wannabett: ive been ignoring her but knowing my mom she'll probably just show up here to talk to me

jugheadalones: she wouldnt do that

wannabett: you underestimate her

veroffica: b is right. her mom is just crazy enough to do that.

1:40 PM

gays united

wannabett: huh i wonder why the secretary is calling me to the office

wannabett: it couldnt be my mom, could it??

wannabett: who wants to bet against me?

goingtoheller: a, congrats on finally living up to your screen name!

goingtoheller: b, there is no way that i'm going to be stupid enough to take you up on that.

jugheadalones: i'll bite.

jugheadalones: 20 bucks it isnt her

wannabett: youre on jug

wannabett: be prepared to lose $20

1:55 PM

gays united

wannabett: angry-mama-cooper.jpeg

wannabett: fork over the money jones

jugheadalones: ...fuck

jugheadalones: this is what i get for believing that alice cooper wouldnt be that petty??

hbicheryl: no this is what you get for being a fool

wannabett: same thing

spillthefogarTEA: okay im sure that im going to regret asking this, but what did mrs cooper want that took fifteen minutes to talk about?

wannabett: the usual

wannabett: "youre disappointing your family, you need to do better, you dont want to end up like polly," etc.

veroffica: i'm sorry, b. :(

wannabett: it isnt your fault v

veroffica: i know, but your mom clearly isn't sorry for the crazy expectations she puts on you because polly didn’t turn out the way she wanted, so somebody has to be. and i want that somebody to be me.

wannabett: you really think so?

veroffica: i know so.

spillthefogarTEA: thats so sweet

hbicheryl: and REALLY gay

spillthefogarTEA: ofc

veroffica: *bi, and betty and i are just best friends.

wannabett: ^^^

spillthefogarTEA: sweets and i are best friends and if i had said something like that to him yall wouldnt think that we were just being friends

wannabett: thats bc you and sweet pea are super gay for each other

hisshissmotherfucker: false

spillthefogarTEA: ...you dont think that im hot? :(

hisshissmotherfucker: no i think that youre the hottest person in the whole damn universe

hisshissmotherfucker: but that doesnt mean that im in love with you

hbicheryl: babe do you see this shit??

nopeaz: i see it all right

hbicheryl: im so glad that we arent like that

nopeaz: me too :)

hbicheryl: i love you toni

nopeaz: i love you too cher

veroffica: awww, that was adorable.

veroffica: but also: what will it take to convince all of you that betty and i are telling the truth??

goingtoheller: nothing, ever. you are both so clearly whipped it isn't even funny.

jugheadalones: like cheryl and toni levels of whipped

hbicheryl: except you two arent even dating!!

nopeaz: the same goes for sweets and fangs too

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

spillthefogarTEA: ^^^

wannabett: ^^^

veroffica: ^^^

jugheadalones: why do i even try anymore

2:29 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: well its time to go into the hellish pit the school calls detention

wannabett: i wonder if theyll make us do manual labor

spillthefogarTEA: sweet pea practically lived in detention at southside high, ask him

hisshissmotherfucker: thats true

hisshissmotherfucker: and yes sometimes they do make you do some janitorial work around the school

hbicheryl: oh my fucking god im going to die

jugheadalones: stop being so extra cheryl

goingtoheller: no never stop being extra cheryl it is the best part of this chat

hbicheryl: for your information hobo i will never ever stop being dramatic and if you say that again i will fight you

hbicheryl: and dont worry keller i wont change

nopeaz: thats my girl!!

hisshissmotherfucker: as i was saying

hisshissmotherfucker: youll probably just sit in a room and do your homework

hbicheryl: thats even worse

2:34 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR PHONES

hbicheryl: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS SWEET PEA

hisshissmotherfucker: i thought it would be a nice surprise

nopeaz: screw you

hbicheryl: IF I NEVER GET OUT OF HERE TELL MY MOTHER THAT SHES AN AWFUL BITCH AND THAT I HATE HER

veroffica: sure thing, blossom.

3:00 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: MY PHONE IS BACK I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS SCHOOL IS SHIT AND DETENTION FUCKING SUCKS

goingtoheller: that's a lot of moods.

jugheadalones: ^^

veroffica: "that's a lot of moods" is just cheryl's personality in a nutshell.

wannabett: tru

hisshissmotherfucker: tru

nopeaz: tru

hbicheryl: tru

Notes: Writing choni's sexts was the best part of this chapter, honestly. Also, I noticed that I refer to Cheryl and Toni as 'choni' an awful lot, which probably has direct correlation to my laziness. I know that this chapter has a lot less to do with the overlying plot, and that's because I'm trying something different. Tell me if you like it this way or if you want me to go back to more plot-heavy chapters.

[alliedloki]

The Girl of my Dreams

By Sini Bales

When I was fourteen, I met the girl of my dreams

But I had no idea

I’ll always remember the day she sat next to me on the bus

“You’re Sini?”

“Yeah, you’re Mandy?”

“Yeah, our moms want us to be friends.”

“Yep.”

“Want to hang out during lunch?”

“Sure.”

When I was fourteen, I met the girl of my dreams

But I had no idea

She was two years older than me, right in the middle of her ‘emo’ phase

She was smart, strong, pretty, and didn’t give a single fuck

I fell hard and fast and blindly

But if you had asked little fourteen year old me, my response would have been;

“Oh no, homosexuality is a sin, she’s my best friend, nothing more.”

I was sixteen when a fist fight with a boy who got handsy with another friend of mine got me sent to the Christian school

A ninety minute bus ride away from the school I once shared with the girl of my dreams

Mandy graduated and moved to the city and aside from one final night where we ate jelly beans on her kitchen floor while her mom ranted about the birds trying to kill her

I accepted that I would probably never see the girl of my dreams again

When I was eighteen, grown, broken, and on my own, I met a boy

He was nice, kind, and didn’t seem to mind the broken parts I was trying to shape into some sort of identity

So I convinced myself that he was the boy of my dreams

Then suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, Mandy walked back into my life

I had the girl of my dreams right next to me, asking me to teach her to play the guitar and to do a shot of Sambuca with her

But I was already with the boy of my dreams, so settle down Sini, you’re just excited to see your friend

When I was twenty-one, I married the boy of my dreams, while the girl of my dreams sat in the crowd and supported me from afar

I had convinced myself I was happy, that this life I had chosen for myself, bound to him and friends with her, was the life I truly wanted

But I had no idea

When I was twenty-two, I became unhappy

The boy of my dreams was slowly turning into a boring nightmare, but it was okay because the girl of my dreams was there by my side no matter what

When I was twenty-two I embraced the hidden part of me, revealing to the world that I was definitely not straight

I finally embraced my love for her in the past, but I was still with that boy and everyone still believed I was in love with him

When I was twenty-two Mandy fell in love with a boy

But he lived so far away, and she had a good life established here, so there was no way she would give that up for a boy, right?

Wrong again Sini

She went to visit and came home with a diamond on her finger

As we stood in my kitchen, celebrating her engagement, as happy as I was for her, my heart was slowly shattering in my chest

I had lost the girl of my dreams to a boy who digs for gold in the Yukon

But the joyful tears running down her cheeks made the pain easier to swallow because I would go through hell just to make sure she was happy

When I was twenty-two the girl of my dreams moved away, going to live with the man she loved

A two day drive away from me

The day she left was full of crushing pain and tears awkwardly dried by my manager when he found me crying in the back room because I had dropped my keys

When I was twenty-three, I walked out on the boy of my dreams, walking away from the lies and misery for a chance at rebuilding who I truly was

Mandy came home for a visit and she was the first I told

That was when I learned how miserable the girl of my dreams was, all the way up north with the boy of her dreams

She wanted to come home and I needed her to come home

But she loved her gold mining boy, so she didn’t stay

When I was twenty-three I fell in love with my best friend

He was strong, smart, and funny, and understood the noise in my head

We had one night together, one night filled with passion before he decided our friendship was too important to him to risk

It broke my heart, but that pain was shortly forgotten when I got a message from the girl of my dreams

Her gold mining boy had hurt her for the last time

When I was twenty-three the girl of my dreams finally came home

During a drunken night I told her how I had been in love with her for so long and how much I wished she could feel the same

When I was twenty-three the girl of my dreams told me she had been thinking about me that way too, since she found out I was bi

Conversations followed but nothing more, we were newly single and didn’t want to be each other’s rebound

So we stayed friends, choosing to maintain a friendship rather than risk losing what we had by prematurely jumping into something we weren’t ready for

Are you sensing a theme yet?

When I was twenty-four I finally asked out the girl of my dreams

We were happy, stable, and finally healed enough to start something new

But I can’t tell anyone about her

Most of the people in my life are still friends with my ex husband and if he finds out I am dating the girl we were both so close too he will be crushed

And I can’t afford a messy divorce

But I am happier with her than I ever was with him

I want to share this with the world, to rub my sinful joy in the faces of those who believe that people who love like we do are destined to burn

I want to have that fight with my parents

“How can you be with another woman, much less one we hate for no valid reason?”

“Because she is the girl of my dreams and this has been a ten year journey that is finally getting interesting.”

It doesn’t matter though, if I’m being honest

Because, no matter when we can share our love with the world

I finally have the girl of my dreams

And I am never going to let her go again

[emilyprentissisababe]

Hi my lovelies! I've been working on this Jemily college AU fic for awhile now. I'd love feedback! This is the first fic I've written in maybe 10 years, so please be gentile (but constructive if you've got any advice 😊 ). There will probably be 2 more chapters, so let me know if youd like to be tagged.

Thank you so much @books-cats-fandom for helping me with this and putting up with my whining. You're the best ❤. Also thank you to @bi-ssaemilyprentiss and @cicinicole-14 for being willing to read this for me!

There are no warnings. This is complete fluff. _____________________

Emily had a knack for not being able to sleep at night. For some reason all of the days events and tomorrows worries plagued her in the waning hours of darkness. As she laid in bed she couldn't help but feel anxious about what the new day would bring. She had midterms coming up, an eventual graduation, figuring out what to do next, and "real world" problems on the horizon. The main things dominating her thoughts tonight however? Jennifer Jareau. She and JJ had been mutual acquaintances for about a year now. Going to the same parties. Taking the same classes. But in the last three months they've become really close friends. They tell each other just about everything. Em even told her how it was hard for her to grow up moving around and how she had a hard time making friends. JJ told her how she was born prematurely and they doctors thought she wouldnt make it. They usually ended each day talking to each other. It was a nice occurrence for Emily. University life can be quite lonely sometimes.

Her phone lights up. "Speak of the devil". She thinks.

"How many pages should that paper be again?"

Emily looks at the clock. Its 3 AM. No rest for the wicked huh? "Umm, what are you doing awake? We have class at 9 tomorrow. You better be there, seeing your gorgeous face is the only thing that makes that class bearable."

"I've gotta finish this paper. Have you ever known me to skip class? You know me better than that! Wait....what are you doing awake?"

"Just thinking.."

"Thinking about what?"

"What happened today. With Caleb....I can't believe he asked you out, just like that, with all of those people standing there. With me standing there."

"Yeah, I was...taken off guard, that's for sure. I don't like him like that..."

"Then why did you agree to go?"

"Hes a nice guy, and I was so shocked, I just kind of nodded.....hey! I've got an idea, why dont you come with us?"

"Come with you on the date? Um, no thanks Jay, I dont want to be a third wheel."

"Then bring your own date. Theres gotta be SOMEONE you're interested in. "

"Well, there is someone I'm interested in, but I dont know how they feel about me and...idk"

"I'm sure they'll say yes if you ask them. You're so smart, and beautiful, and caring, and did I mention beautiful? Anyone would be lucky to date you."

Emily feels her heart skip a beat. Damn. She really knew how to get to her. "No, I dont think that's the best idea."

"Awww come on! At least tell me who it is!"

"You're getting distracted. Do your paper and get some sleep babe. You've gotta take care of yourself."

"Okay. Okay. Fine. But dont think I'll forget about this conversation. I want answers as to who's stolen your heart, Emily Prentiss."

Emily sighs, smiling into her phone. "Go to sleep. Goodnight ❤"

"Goodnight, lovely ❤"

____________________________________________

The next day Prentiss ran into class a few minutes before it started and was disappointed when all the seats next to JJ were taken.

"You were almost late 😂"

"Sush! You're the one texting in class 🙊"

"Umm, you just texted be back though."

"You're such a brat! 😂"

The professor then passed out a test that took the rest of the period. Emily took longer to complete it and by time she was done, JJ had already left. She wasnt sure why, but she felt a little disappointed when she walked out of the classroom and JJ wasnt there waiting for her. After a moment Emily was able to shake off her disappointment, she needed to go talk to a different professor and if she didnt leave now she would miss her. As she rounded the corner to her professors office she saw a little blonde head peak out from a door across the hall. She couldnt hide the smile that came across her face. Her professor was just on her way out of her office so Emily asked her question quickly and her professor left.

Suddenly JJ was behind her, "hey there." She said with a smirk playing on her lips.

"Hey you."

"How did you do on that test?"

"It was rough right?"

"Oh sush. You always get perfect grades."

"Umm so do you!" Emily said, leaning against the hall wall. JJ didnt say anything and just stared at Emily. After a few moment the blonde reaches over the space separating the two. Emily had been looking down at her boots as JJ gently lifted her chin.

"You're so beautiful." She said as she gently caressed Em's cheek. "And your skin is so soft." Emily blushed a little and then put her hand over JJ's, enjoying the touch. Emily was a little touch starved. Her mother wasnt the most nurturing parent and she hadn't dated anyone in a long time.

"Look at you though. Your eyes are my favorite color. Vast. Clear. Beautiful. Just like you." JJ smiled, making Emily's heart beat just a little bit faster. What was that about? She thought. Just as quickly as it happened, JJ pulled her hand back, leaving that spot on her cheek feeling cold, "oh shit, I'm going to be late! I'll talk to you later!" And with that, the blonde glided away, leaving Em, smiling and gently touching her cheek.

After class had finished that day Em had to go to work and then straight home to do homework. As she lay in bed that night, thinking yet again of Jennifer Jareau. She was notoriously good at overanalyzing everything. Tonight? The cheek caress. Why did she do that? What did it mean? Sure, they have been touchy before, mostly sitting close and brushing against each other, but this? This was so....blatant. This was so new. Emily is wrapped up in these thoughts when she gets a text, "Hey, party this Saturday. I'll go if you go!"

"Wait, you mean the infamous homebody Jennifer Jareau is going to a party this weekend? I'm so there!"

"We'll see who's infamous after this weekend. 😉" another text "you should bring that guy you were telling me about the other night. I need to meet him!"

"You know them better than you think..." Em typed, feeling her heart rate speed up. It was about time she admit to herself that she had feelings for JJ. How is that possible? She'd never had feelings for another woman before....

"Oh come on Em! Just tell me who they are! Maybe I could help them fall in love with you! It's such an easy thing to do! 😉"

Em sighed. It was about time to just admit her feelings. Maybe theyd go away if she just got it over with. Another text, "who is ittt?"

After taking a big breath, she types out, "it's you... " she closes her eyes and presses send. Her heart is beating so loudly she cant hear anything else.

"Oh, Em, I'm flattered. I'm just not in the position to be in a relationship right now...."

"That's okay! It honestly just feels good to get it off of my chest..."

"Babe. This wont affect anything. I promise. I want you to always be able to tell me the truth."

"Okay....good...I'll see you Saturday?"

"Yes! I'll see you Saturday! Be ready for a party!"

____________________________________________

If you've made it this far, thank you ❤ I appreciate you. If I'm being honest, I am writing this for a personal reason to help me deal with something that happened in my real life. So far it has been very cathartic.

I'm tagging @prentissisthebestest @mullinscarousel @unleash-the-doves @unitchiefwives @puke-and-nutballs @emily-prentiss-is-bea @blondeandbrunetteshipper @just-take-a-moment-and-dream @nekocrocs @magnificentperfectionmiracle @sunnysaysbookreviews @soul-disposition @katiealyssa96 @mikan-chan-the-obsess @oakleygartner @feelingsbutnofeelings @ryker-the-pta-mom becuase you all said you'd like to read this when I asked in a previous post. If you dont want to be tagged in the next chapters, just let me know. I'll understand. I hope you enjoyed it :)

[astralgloss]

im a curious meanie so 1-134 muhahaha you get to relive the hell i just went through

etab i haTE U

1: Name

my name is marit lol but please just keep it mar

2: Age

i am 17 but i’ll b 18 in 2 months!!!!

3: 3 Fears

the dark, complete and utter loneliness, and clowns

4: 3 things I love

books, forest fruit tea, the sound of rain

5: 4 turns on

a nice smile that reaches the eyes, a nice smell, having a dog ngl, a soft touch

6: 4 turns off

extreme arrogance, insisting to pay for my meal if i want to pay bc its “what a man should do”, forcing lifestyles on me, not caring about my interests

7: My best friend

she does have tumblr but idk it but hey demi if u ever see this ur the bomb.com

8: Sexual orientation

im bi fam

9: My best first date

my bf and i went to amsterdam to go shopping and he followed me everywhere (even the bookshop even though he hates books) and idk i just love him it was a nice day

10: How tall am I

im 1,65m or 5′4″ but i can and will kick ur ass

11: What do I miss

nothing really??

12: What time was I born

ok so i asked my mom and she said i was born on a tuesday at exactly 12pm but i bet she’s lying

13: Favorite color

yellow!! im basic!!

14: Do I have a crush

well i sure hope so @ boyfriend

15: Favorite quote

to the stars who listen, and the dreams that are answered

16: Favorite place

my bf’s house tbh, specifically his bed

17: Favorite food

pizza, specifically the hot chicken one from ny pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm

nah fam (ofc i do im a little shit)

19: What am I listening to right now

god is a woman by ariana grande

20: First thing I notice in new person

how they look at other people when those people don’t notice it

21: Shoe size

38/39 idk the other size lol sorry 

22: Eye color

its blue but it changes with my mood (oh my god im so sorry im kidding please don’t hate me)

23: Hair color

im a blondie

24: Favorite style of clothing

sth casual but also a bit towards the punkish style, but i also rlly love looking tiny and soft and cute lol

25: Ever done a prank call?

ok so there’s this hotline for kids who have troubles with their parents and families but it was a shit hotline tbh so once i called it up with my friends pretending i was crying and the man on the phone asked me what was wrong so i told him that all my friends had fire type pokemon and i only had grass type pokemon and they kept beating me and i didnt know what to do and then man was so confused it was funny af

27: Meaning behind my URL

idk man i wanted a name that could b easy to remember and i was inspired by ridgeport tbh

28: Favorite movie

the perks of being a wallflower

29: Favorite song

Fav song atm is anything from p!atd's newest album and my fav song of all time is probably train of consequences by megadeth

30: Favorite band

megadeth lol

31: How I feel right now

pretty good but also annoyed bc i have to go to work in half an hour :(

32: Someone I love

my bf

33: My current relationship status

if u guys havent noticed by now im taken

34: My relationship with my parents

p ok

35: Favorite holiday

halloween/christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced and thats it lol

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

i rlly want a few bookish related tattoos, like a tiny raven, a little lightning bolt, and the city of velaris and then i also rlly want a sleeve tbh but imma be a teacher and idk if i can :/ about piercings: i rlly want a helix or tragus and maybe get second holes in my hearlobes

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

ok so ive been on tumblr for about 5 years and initially it was bc i was Depressed™ and then about a year ago i found out about simblr and i was hooked

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

tbh i dont even talk to him anymore i dont rlly care about him in any way

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yes bih

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

hes my bf so yea lol

42: When did I last hold hands?

wednesday

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

about 45 minutes bc im lazy and i keep getting distracted

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

45: Where am I right now?

in bed lol

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

either my bf or my best friend

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

depends on where i am

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

mom

49: Am I excited for anything?

tbh moving out but thats gonna take a few more years

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

*insert bf here*

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

every time im at work lol

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

wednesday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

lol bye

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

nope

55: What is something I disliked about today?

the fact that i have to work a day shift instead of an evening shift

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my internet friends tbh it’d be cool to meet all the people from my bookish discord or from @booptherat​‘s discord

57: What do I think about most?

what book i should read next

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can finish a book in about 4 hours

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

not rlly? i hate the whole asmr thing tho ew

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

61: What was the last lie I told?

i dont remember tbh

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

neither lol

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

look im not saying that believing that we’re the only living species in the entire universe is narcissistic, but it is. also dont fuck with ghosts

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

hell yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?

idk probably cloudy and windy

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury 

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nah not rlly

69: Do I have any nicknames?

i guess mar?

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

when i was 2 i fell from sth and slammed the corner of my eye onto the corner of a table and i couldve been blind but thank god im not

71: Do I spend money or save it?

both 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

yup

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

post it notes

74: Favorite animal?

doggg

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

reading lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

idk man

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

i gotta feeling by the black eyed peas lol

78: How can you win my heart?

give me a samoyed and a 1000 books

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“a boss ass bitch”

80: What is my favorite word?

fuck?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@cubersims​ @imvikai​ @ridgeport​ @cowplant-pizza​ @bloomlet​ @tiptoptab​

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

spend fiddies, pet kitties, hold tiddies

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of lol

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

the power to choose whatever power i want at any moment

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“do you like working here?”

86: What is my current desktop picture?

its an august background from @emmastudies​

87: Had sex?

yes

88: Bought condoms?

no

89: Gotten pregnant?

no

90: Failed a class?

yes

91: Kissed a boy?

yup, i’ve been kissing my bf for about 2,5 years now lol

92: Kissed a girl?

yup, i’m living the bisexual dream lol

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes, im working at a movie theater right now!!

95: Left the house without my wallet?

tbh all the time now that i can pay with my phone

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

yea i used to but that was when i was 12 and i’d like to say that i’ve grown a lot in the past 5 years

97: Had sex in public?

nope

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

nope, even though i live like 20 minutes away from amsterdam lol

100: Did drugs?

nope

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nope

102: Drank alcohol?

yupppp, i love me some raspberry cider

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nope

104: Been overweight?

nope

105: Been underweight?

nope

106: Been to a wedding?

yup

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

lol all the time tbh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yup

109: Been outside my home country?

yup, however never outside of europe tho

110: Gotten my heart broken?

a few times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yess, i saw the dutch female volleyball team once!

112: Broken a bone?

nope

113: Cut myself?

yes

114: Been to prom?

we dont do prom in the netherlands lol

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

nope

117: What concerts have I been to?

k3 (only dutchies and belgians remember this), one direction, megadeth, and ed sheeran

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yupp

119: Learned another language?

i mean im from the netherlands and im fluent in english thanks to myself

120: Wore make up?

yuppp

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

lol yes

123: Dyed my hair?

nope

124: Voted in a presidential election?

not old enough to vote :(

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nope

126: Had a surgery?

nope

127: Met someone famous?

nope

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

nope

129: Peed outside?

a few times lol

130: Been fishing?

nope

131: Helped with charity?

yep

132: Been rejected by a crush?

a few times

133: Broken a mirror?

lol yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

some books, money, cake, more books, makeup

[witchy-vibes-626]

Finding My Path: Some Snippets About Me

So thought I'd make a little (more like long) rambl-y post telling you about myself and also talk about how I came to the realization that I was born a witch.

First off my name is Anna. Im 28. Bi-racial she/her. And as you can see in my bio I'm a solitary eclectic witch. I Live in the middle of nowhere and am a broke ass bitch lol. So a lot of my craft is DIY and finding cheap solutions for things.

I'm still a bit of a babywitch as I haven't been studying witchcraft that long. Witchcraft and the occult is something I feel I have always been a little drawn to even as young as my childhood I was always drawn to different aspects of witchcraft. I remember being a kid and always being drawn to crystals and precious stones. I would collect them when my family and I would travel. I also have always been drawn to water. I've loved the water since I was a small child and I grew up on the coast of California. I used to also collect shells and swear they held some sort of magical energy in them when I was younger.

My family used to tease me when I was younger always calling me a witch because I was born on Halloween or Samhain. Not only was I born on Samhain but so was my Grandmother and so was her Grandmother. This goes back 5 generations. Always skipping a generation. Always the firstborn Granddaughter. I dont know if my grandmother was a witch or if any of my ancestors were but it is still very interesting to me and something I want to research and look further into.

Moving past my childhood, as a teenager I dabbled in witchcraft for a bit. I was very interested in it. I would play around with spells and rituals and even tried to perform a few full moon rituals. I had looked up some spells on the internet and was really interested in it however decided to give it up. I was already extremely shy and people thought I was weird enough as it was, that I thought if I didnt give it up, I'd be considered an even bigger freak or be made fun of. So I gave it up.

Until last year. When my mom got so extremely sick, she almost died. My mother is from the phillippines and our family doesnt practice witchcraft but they believe in it. Good witches and bad witches. Last year my mom was given a "love potion" by a new "friend". Another filipina lady who is a Bruha. A witch. Shortly after given this "potion" to "help find love" my mother got extremely sick. She almost died. She is still recovering to this day. During the time my mother was sick her family in the Philippines visited a witch doctor or a voodoo man of sorts who, through rituals and divination, told my mom that someone had cursed her. And to think about anything odd someone had given her. Until this moment she hadn't thought anything about the "love potion". She then told the man about it. He said with 100% certainty that it was this woman. She cursed my mom. He gave us a set of rituals to perform and told her to get rid of the "love potion" and destroy it. We did everything he told us to and through these rituals and some modern medicine as well my mother finally went into recovery. I should mention before consulting the voodoo doctor, my mother was sick for months. We visited so many doctors and hospitals and doctors either didnt know what was wrong with her or they completely misdiagnosed her and gave her treatments that didnt work. It wasnt until after doing all this and destroying the "love potion" that we were able to finally find a doctor who knew what was wrong with her. From there I decided to fully study witchcraft and came to the full realization that I've always been a witch.

Currently I am studying and learning everything I can. I'm a solitary eclectic. I'm very interested in Sea witchcraft, paganism and green witchcraft. I know a lot of witches are wiccan but as someone who grew up with an extremely religious family Wiccanism doesnt interest me at this time. Not because I see it as a strict religion but it reminds me of that feeling of having to follow specific rules. Not saying this is what wicca is about at all just saying it gives me that feeling and that is why I am not interested in being Wiccan. Anyways this post is too long now and now that you know my life story I'm going to bed lol.

[freelytinystudentblog-blog]

Beginning

So I guess for starters Im gonna say i am probably going to remain anonymous for a while. Also this stuff might get deep and personal so ill change all names. Since freelytinystudentblog is ridiculously long im just going to go but Eve because why not. Im not trying to look for attention posting all this stuff but i need an outlet and what better way to do it than anonymously on a website where it probably wont get read. So if you do happen to stumble onto this page then welcome. Hopefully you wont get bored. I guess its time for me to start with the beging which would be about 3ish years ago when I was a wee little lass and believed that because i was 13 i was basically the shit(which i obvously wasnt). I had moved a total of 3 times which doesnt seem too bad but it was always when i got really attached to people we moved and i never spoke to them again. This time was no different. We moved from one small town to another. Being one of the only mixed kids there besides my brother was surprisingly positive and annoying. Why youre probaly not asking? Well because my hair was everyones interest. A big ball of poof i always threw into a pony tail because honestly there wasnt much else to do with it. Everyone wanted to play with it or see how much stuff i could hide in it. It was fun at first but quickly got annoying. While there was that downside to the town it also had some positives. For example it was there that i realized that i was bisexual. To be honest i never thought about liking girls until my boyfriend at the time and his friend were talking about how they were both Bi and i said it to fit in a little. I didnt actually believe it until i realized the way girls made me felt. How i always caught myself looking at their chests and their butts, and how i fell for my friend Taylor. She was my first offical girl crush. Anyway this is getting a little off topic though it was important. Like i said there were many positives like the cool friends i got to meet, I got into blood in the dance floor and had a little emo phase and met a guy i thought id be with forever. That all sounds good but with all positives comes negatives. I began to get super depressed and even cut a few times. I felt trapped in my relationship with Damien. Whenever we fought hed threaten to kill himself or say stuff like “without you id kill myself” which is a shitty thing to say to someone in my opinion. I started doing things id never do like sneaking my boyfriend over and all that. But the biggest neutral that happened was me losing my virginity. No big deal it seems but i was freshly turned 14 and he was 16. We werent safe there was no protection. I know losing your virginity is supposed to be meaningful but i dont remember it. I wasnt drunk or anything so i dont know why i dont remember it. Anyway a couple weeks later i snuck out and walked around town and ended up having sex again in the graveyeard(insert judgement here) I knew something was wrong soon after. I felt sick so i told him i thought i was pregnant. He paled and asked if i was would i abort it. I instantly said no because i dont believe in abortions. After that night things got weird. Me my mom and my brother went to Tennessee. Driving up the mountains i felt sick to my stomach which i brushed off as carsickness. We get back from our vacation and i started craving the weirdest shit like frozen hot pockets, whole packages of cheese ect. I caught myself randomly thinking about having a baby and got scared. I ended up having my older family friend get me a pregnancy test and surprise surprise i was el prego. I cried for about 5 minuets before shutting down. I didnt know how to feel i was only 14. I called and  told Damien that night and he was as shocked as i was. Later on he told me he started crying after we hung up. So a few days later i went home and told mom. She wasnt as mad as i thought she would be. She refused to let me give the baby up for adoption because it was my mistake and i had to live with it. I dont think i couldve done it anyway. No one really understands how attached you get to the little baby inside you. I believe the same day i told the rest of my family. My grandma didnt talk to me for a couple of months. I had an aunt who told me i needed to give it up for adoption because i was gonna ruin the babys life.I had another aunt not let me see my cousin Bri for atleast 6 months which hurt so much. Me and bri are like sisters we’ve been almost inseperable ever since we were little which is funny since shes younger than me. Damien was determined to stay in the babys life and not leave no matter what. Me being pregnant at such a young age wasnt easy. I lost most of my friends and began homeschooling which was terrible. The nine months of me being pregnant was basically filled with me fighting with my boyfriend getting insanely jealous, cheating, and more sex. We shouldve left each other months ago. Looking back i shouldve left sooner. It was a toxic relationship for both of us. 9 months later my baby boy was born. Mister Phoenix. My angel. It was kind of ridiculous damien and i fought even in the hospital. We brought phoenix home and i was hoping the relationshup would get better. It didnt. I caught him sexting his ex and swore to break it off with him. I didnt. I swore to myself i wasnt going to let my baby grow up without a father. In july 2015 we moved 45 minuets away. Damien came on the weekends because my mom picked him up and took him home. That laster all summer until school started and he couldnt anymore. It seemed like us being apart made us fight even more. By november he broke up with me. Now i was 15 and a single mother. I was devasted. I had no one to turn to since i didnt have any friends in my new town. I was alone and began eating my depression away. Every month on the 11th i would sit down and cry. I wasnt in a good state. By 2016 i swore to myself id move on from Damien and become an amazing mother but it was so hard He kept popping in every 3 months or so flirting with me making me fall for him over and over again only to get crushed over and over again. It was a hellish cycle but honestly im glad i went though it. Why you ask? Well simply because every time he left itd give me more reason to stop liking him and even hating him. Now he texts me and i just roll my eyes. Going through that definately helped me move on. He wasnt there for any of the birthdays and i honestly am glad. I understand its my kids father but i grew up with a dad who lived in the same city and still couldnt come see me. I dont want my baby going through that. Once hes older i plan on explaining everything and giving him a choice of whether he wants to get in contact with his father or not. Itll be completely up to him. Now before you start judging me to hard think about this. I became a single parent at 15. The father never visted his son or even asked. Hell this january was the first time he saw phoenix in Two years. Two thats ridiculous. After the very awkward encounter he hasnt bothered asking to see him since. Its hard for people who dont have kids to understand this i know but i know what im doing is for the best. This sunday is going to be his 3rd birthday and his father came up with stupid excuses as usual. Now i know i left out some stuff but some of it is hard to put into words plus if i added anymore itd be unbelievably long. So this was the begining and current i guess. 14 and pregnant. 15 and a single parent. currently almost 18 and still doing it bymyself just a little better. Thats all for now. Ill probably make another one soon about relationships while being a single parent so yeah. Peace.

[junipeach]

all of em

!! zoo wee mama ty anon  alright here we go

rose - describe your crush.

hmmm i dont have someone im head over heels for but theres this cute guy in my history class who is rlly funny and nice and his only fault is liking the patriots and being 4 years older

cherry-blossom - do you believe in love at first sight?

kinda?? like ok ik its a dumb story bc my parents are divorced but when my mom met my dad he said his first thought was “wel fuck im gonna marry this girl” which is rly cute tbh so like. id say sometimes u rly have tht intuition to say things ike love at first sight but lbr most of it is prob immediate infatuation lol

daisy - what’s your best childhood memory?

jokes on you i dont remember anything before the age of 11

daffodil - which colour suits you best?i like how i look in reds and pinks n peachy colors?? i wouldnt doubt if someone told me those were my worst colors tho im open for options

peony - do you put more value in honour or truth?

uuuh truth i guess?

iris - favourite 90s song?

I CANT CHOOSE SRY THTS A LAME ANSWER LKDFJGNDK

sunflower - sun or moon?

moon

narcissus - your best physical feature?

mm eyebrows i guess?? i dont wanna say tits but uhh

freesia - are you still friends with the person you considered your best friend two years ago?

ye!!

orchid - favourite fruit?

peach!

violet - have you had your first kiss?

nope :’)

gypsophila - do you prefer many distant friends, or a few close friends?

i think many distant??? i have a good combo of both rn

gerbera - neon or pastel?

pastel

carnation - does true love exist?

i sure hope so its like, all tht i stay alive for gslkdjfgn tht sounded pathetic

alstroemeria - dream vacation?

mmm france maybe, id love to see all the art and history bc im nerd

nemone - were you ever interested in greek mythology?

i was never like, a “mythology kid” but i did like it a lot!

cymbidium - sexuality?

bi i guess but who knows!

rhododendron - what’s your biggest fear?

this sounds weird but robbery and home invasion, i get SUPER worked up abt it im so scared tht someones gonna break in hh it sounds stupid lkjgsfgn

tulip - lucky number?

36!

gladiolus - who do you look up to most?

i dont rly think i have idols which is why im floating with no motivation hA

snapdragon - favourite mythical creature?

nessie was my fave as a kid so im sayin nessie

hydrangea - proudest moment?

last year at a pep rally there was one of those money air tube things and if u got called on for a question u got to go in it so me and @mcbitchass​ made this plan tht if she raised her hand id tell her the answer if i knew it and we didnt think it actually happen but it did and we won and split the money it was like oceans 11

heather - what’s your favourite musical?

la la land! but also all of them im secretly a musical nerd!!!

delphinium - what’s your star sign - does it suit you?

gemini, n highkey yeah glsjfgnlkdjgn im a talkative 2 faced emotionally stunted airhead

ginger - least favourite food?

uhh im a picky eater but first thing tht comes to mind is swiss cheese, the smell makes me GAG eueueuhghgh nasty

ty v v much for asking all these!!! is it dumb tht this meant a lot to me lgksjfngkjf