#I PROMISE THEYRE GONNA HAVE A HEAVY CONVERSATION SOON!!!

[ask-the-roommate-au]

let’s talk about the Old Moons death hmm? that sound nice Sun? i bet it doesnt. you didnt deserve him in the first place anyway. you killed your twin. you dont deserve him. fucking idiot.

-your least favorite anon!! :P (Drug anon)

[Sun... has left the room. Please give him a moment.]

It's just a hallucination- you're just hallucinating again. It's not real but you know it's true.

[mirohed]

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst 

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

[survivor-ingary]

Episode 2 - "I DON'T WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE" - Ellie

At the tribal, Ping was voted out of the Pendragon Tribe nearly unamimously. Tribal immunity for this round is Pictionary.

I bet all these bitches know i voted for Keith and now they are going to come kill me in my sleep if i die i blame dylan

yass round 2 i either think im in the best position on this tribe or theyre all secretly coming for me thats all

Tribal went as well as I expected it to go. No major drama. It seems like Keith is in real trouble if we do go to tribal again though which would put me in a very tricky spot. For now, though, I will be trying my best in the upcoming challenge. The problem is, however, timezones and schedules. Jon is going to be our drawer, but he can only do it tonight or in the early afternoon tomorrow which I will not be there for. Additionally, Keith is asleep so we have no idea what his schedule is going to be so we basically had to schedule the challenge without him. And Nya could only do right before the deadline tomorrow which Jon cannot do. I hate this for us, truly. I just hope that Moth and I can rub our brain cells together for this one so that we can pull out a win. OR somehow the other tribes fail horribly. On the bright side, I am finally starting to catch up on Duolingo exercises. They're a lot easier than I thought, but it is still going to be tedious af to save up enough coins for some of the higher end products at the shop. As a final note, I am going to work with Nya in the long term as we promised each other to. Hopefully that actually works out. Time to actually be loyal and be a hero this time around. Need to try something different.

If we lose this challenge, I will be very upset. We went so hard on this challenge!!! I believe that we can at least get second place, but I don't know how crazy the other tribes are. So, let's see what goes on

Ayyyyy soooooooo looks like the four, Colin, me, Ava, and Brayden are officially in an alliance!? I’m really hyped to be working with everybody and already have sights on who should go if we have to go to tribal 👀 but like I’m gonna feel so bad if we go to tribal and I orchestrate a whole plan to take someone out I gotta do it when I’m not in my feels and the planets aren’t fucking with my emotions too heavy. But go alliance ! This means I’ll be able to stay safe until hopefully a merge and hopefully we can avoid a tribe swap till then which I get those vibe from it !! But I’ll be here to survive two more tribals just in case which is pretty rad. Other then that hopefully me offering to draw doesn’t end us up in the bottom and we can keep killing ! But anyways that is it as off know hopefully I have a lot more coins tomorrow morning and I get hit the hat shop bright and motherfucking early.

Just got asked to be apart of an alliance <33333 the besties in the group trust me which maybe ain't the right move but for now we gotta love the bonding. exciting!!!

YAY FOR ROUND 2! Okay, so I meet once again with the Hat Shop and... third times the charm! Except,,, the charm is getting nothing AGAIN lmao I'm not complaining though, still got that extra vote :P I stayed up at 1 AM for this challenge, and I honestly think our team popped off. Anastasia was guessing a ton, and Riley was amazing at drawing real quick! I have a relatively good feeling about our performance, so I hope I wake up to the news of our tribe being immune :D

so yesterday I set myself on a mission to get an alliance. I wanted Ava + Brayden + Toph + me as a majority alliance. it was our day off from tribal so I thought it was the perfect day to do it!! I talked to Brayden about it first because he's the person I feel the most comfortable with, and then after a lot of coordination and careful communication I was able to pull it together!! I think the most important thing when making alliances is making everyone feel like they're a big part in it. So I was careful to ask each person how they feel about the others, about the game, and made a point to say that I wanted to work with them specifically. Some may call that a little manipulative, but I wanna make sure that I'm an essential part of the alliance!! i need everyone to feel like they need/want me there.

all of this happening so soon into the game is a testament to how aggressive I'm playing this time around. I usually like to lay low and just rely solely on my social game in the start, but I'm trying this out to establish myself early on! I wanted to play the tribe leader and I think I'm doing that in a smart and subtle way!!

so yes now we have a 4 person majority alliance named "duolingo owl hate club" because fuck that guy. I think we're the 4 most active and present people on the tribe so it's only natural for us to work together, but I think it's definitely worth noting that I was the one that was pulling the strings here.

We just did the pictionary challenge, I have a good feeling about it!! Toph was an amazing artist, and if we win, all credit rightfully goes to him!! I think the guessers also did great of course, but like come on, the artist has to be the mvp. I'm really hoping we pull through!! I don't mind going to tribal, but I genuinely don't wanna vote anyone out yet. I'm fine just playing the game in a precautionary way. I know I'm in a great position if we do go to tribal, but it's always preferred that we don't go.

Everyone else on my tribe: doing the challenge and kicking ass

Me: I’m sleep

Riley (Tumblr has once again chosen violence so only the first 10 get banners 🥲)

I think our challenge went pretty well! My team were good guessers. Feeling like I've established some Integrity now. Hope it keeps me safe later!

Toph Soooooo we finished the challenge with 32 points and like wig !! I was a quick as drawer for 32pts expect when my internet lagged, but still ! I think we whooped some ass and if we do go to tribal I know it won’t be me going, thanks to Duolingo owl hate club but I’m also worried same could have and advantage because they seem pretty kean on learning a lot in like 3 hours and then tried to cover that statement to not seem so threatening but like babs s a huge threat too apparently they love Duolingo and know 5 laugnes ? This is from brayden but If so go babs ! That’s absolutely iconic for real Life but fucking scary in this game ! I gotta be buddy buddy with them so hopefully if they do have something it won’t be them going home first and it will be Ava. But I’m thinking we might get second place again unless someone is a fucking wizard at this.

Dennis hmm i think we did well enough in the challenge to not see tribal tomorrow but who knows i guess we shall find out tn

the way ellie was so on top of stuff yesterday only to oversleep the challenge makes me giggle maybe shes freaking out about it which makes me also giggle but i dont think its really a big deal

anastasia asked me to call yesterday and i was like sure lets talk but it is damn near impossible to hold a conversation with her idk i tried BUT she did tell me “yeah i just got off a call with ellie” im like i see. she says shes down to work with ellie but that quickly switched from ellie being ~experienced~ but good to know ellie is also playing hard. anastasia also mentioned that she talks to riley a fair amount who i still have yet to connect to well. but dat makes me think ellie is def talking to riley too miss debate team is definitely a talker. but good on her for the social game i guess

kenneth keeps being like haha we’re the same person and im like yeah👁 i bet we are👁

i just wanna win and not think about tribal just keep it slow and chill for now keep learnin my welsh i guess

Ava Second challenge was Pictionary and I had a ton of fun playing. The tea is: toph did a great job. He was pretty vocal about not being a great artist but really I think he did great. However, Babs was super inactive yesterday and ~too late~ said they were a great artist and should've been picked to draw. It was kind of like.... k babs thanks for the belated "help". They did do great guessing which scored a point in my book. Brayden was supposed to play but last minute logged off without saying anything so we did the challenge without him :/ sorta a bummer. Anyway the lack of participation from Sam is kind of popping off so we'll see where that leads them... Overall a fun game and fingers crossed we did well!

Moth I think we did okay at the challenge. Today I am dying from the heatwave so I’m not thinking too straight! Stay cool everyone

Ellie So yesterday Anastasia and I called for about an hour!!! I’d say we’re definitely way closer, she’s someone I really wanna work with although the idea of her and Brayden eventually being on the same tribe is kinda scary cause I know how close they are. Still she’s so fun to talk to and I just love her energy so much!

Pictionary challenge results: Jenkins Tribe wins with Penadragon second, Hatter Tribe has to go to tribal council on the following day.

Ava Well well well seems our bob ross, toph, didn't pull through (y'all think babs would've pulled it out for us or slept through our challenge like they said they almost did?) I can't wait for tribal. I'm in it for the drama. I'm hashtag voting Sam off - didn't even bother to be apart of our challenge and not too sure they've even been online for a full 24 hours. Weed out the weak.....

Anastasia

Brayden https://imgur.com/n60Lz0c

guys i dont know what to do someone help me out

Dennis i hope damn brayden gets the boot

Raffy Woo! We don't have to go to tribal again! We stan!

Ellie So I figured I’d go idol hunting today cause the shop was about to close and I just wanted to see what had been bought and what possible hats there were, I see that there’s a hat I have enough for that hasn’t been bought and I decide fuck it let’s get it

APPARENTLY ITS SOMETHING THAT IM NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS OR HOW TO USE IT YET???? THEY SAID ILL FIND OUT ABOUT IT LATER

I DONT WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE

Sam Well you see. I like all my tribe people. And I think we did real good on that music video! So, I think rather than voting anyone else off, I think I should just vote myself off if that is possible! Ahhh

Babs So sad to see Sam not only go but go through what they're going through :( same w Toph :( they all seem so lovely

Keith Not sure if i submitted a confession after the last tribal. But if I didnt here it is.

Happy I made it out of that tribal. I had raffy backing me with whom I played. Last time we played. We were at odds. We didnt work together but whats worse that we were against each other. It was either him or me goin out. Hopefully thats the past n we can work together. I jus need to keep things calm n show that Im not here itching to make big moves. So they dont feel threatened by me. N its easy cause right now. I havnt made that kind og bond with anyone on my tribe. To even think of such moves. Lets see what round two holds for me.

Colin so uh

we lost! :(

I was really bummed tbh. Like I thought we did well but circumstances with the challenge were just really unfortunate, from conflict about who wanted to be the artist to people disappearing the moment the challenge started, I think we did well despite all of that. Except we did kinda get stomped anyway. Oh well!! The game moves on. Tribal has to happen.

Initially I was gonna push for Babs, just because I feel like I don't wanna attach myself to them too early on. I've seen how much of a bitter player they can be, and lets just say I'm not the most loyal ally to have. however! 9 minutes after we lost, Ava announces to our alliance that she's voting Sam. I wasn't surprised, Sam has been the one not really pulling their weight. But I had some good connections with her!! we both did colorguard and shes so sweet and easy to talk to. I was really conflicted for a little bit, debating on whether or not to actually push for Babs. I think brayden sensed my hesitance but we both knew there was nothing really I could do to stop Sam from being the vote. At first tribal, the initial name always spreads like wildfire.

However, my mess was stopped abruptly by Sam asking to be voted out. welp!! okay then!! babs stays i guess!! i'm not too bothered. I'll never turn down an easy vote hehe.

Pretty sure there's a swap tonight. I'm kinda scared of that

uwu

Brayden

i almost forgot to upload this but dont worry i just remembered

Colin screams

Toph So we’re going to tribal in 20 and all I have to say right now is if there is a tribe swap after I’m gonna so scared but I ducking called I had a vibe and it was right that’s what is gonna win me this game trusting my intuition. I’m holding on now and gonna be the biggest comp beast next challenge in case I get fucked on this swap !!!! Or at least if it is a swap 🤔

Riley I don't know what this announcement's gonna be I'm worriedddd... Ginny said it probably means we're swapping teams but I don't wannaaaa I like our team.

Toph Sam self sacrificing made this the easiest vote ever and me being safe is a plus I guess 😎

[wannasoftimagine]

lee daehwi as your soulmate

imagine having daehwi as ur soulmate where u have the date u meet written on ur wrist

(as requested!)

ur soulmate clue isnt really visible for awhile just bc ure like. a tiny kid for the first majority of ur life lol

for awhile u just have a smudge of ink on ur wrist so,,, u dont rlly have a choice but to let it be

ANYWAYS

once u start to get older, the markings on ur wrist start to become more and more clear

ure not super sure if theyre letters or numbers or smthn else, bc it doesnt show up on ur skin quite right yet

eventually, ure able to decipher it as a set of numbers and ure like. okay cool BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN

u talk it over w some of ur family and friends, and everyone seems to have their own idea abt what it means

but the more ppl u talk to, the more they start to agree tht it seems like a date - for several years in the future

at tht point u realize that its probably the day tht ull finally meet ur soulmate, so theres not rlly much u can do abt it until then

ure a little tempted to try and search for someone with a similar clue, but there are just SO MANY to sort thru tht u decide its not rlly worth it

u try and focus on urself - struggling thru school, spending time w family/friends, typical stuff that most ppl ignore bc theyre too busy searching for their soulmate

honestly its kinda nice knowing when ull meet ur soulmate, since u can relax until then

time passes bc u kno. tht tends to happen in life

SO

it starts to get closer and closer to the date when u meet and NOW the nerves are coming

bc ure like ?? what are they like? what if i dont like them? what if they dont like //me//? where are we gonna meet? what time? do they have the same clue? what if i dont recognize them????

honestly ure a mess of worries by the time the day comes

trying to sleep the night before is almost impossible since ure such a bundle of doubts as u toss and turn in ur bed

come morning, u do ur best to dress as nice as u can

but honestly ure starting to doubt ur sense of fashion and style at this point

eventually u have to calm urself down bc theres no point in stressing out too much, or else ure just going to freak out and have an awful day, soulmate or not

then ure like waaaait a second,,

n u realize tht u dont know when exactly or where ure going to meet ur soulmate

which makes things much harder tbh

u settle on staying on a park bench, watching ppl pass and letting ur wrist casually rest beside u so its out in the open

ure hoping tht someones just going to walk by and be like oH HELLO SOULMATE

as time goes on u realize tht ure not that lucky

actually ure prob rlly unlucky bc bugs seem like theyre attacking u and u take tht as ur cue to leave

ure wandering around a little bit when u stumble across this cute little hole-in-the-wall cafe, so u decide to go in and rest ur feet there

(also maybe meet ur soulmate bc tht would be super Aesthetic u feel)

anyways

u wait around with a cup of coffee and a bagel, hoping that ull see someone walk in with a mark similar to urs

u realize pretty quickly tht it wont happen bc 1) so many ppl keep coming in and out, and 2) no one walks around showing off their wrist tbh

tht leaves u growing more frustrated and worried in ur spot

part of u wants to just approach random strangers and ask “listen im meeting my soulmate today CAN I SEE UR WRIST”

but the realistic part of u is like “what the heck no dont do tht”

u settle on agreeing with the latter

at some point, as ure boring holes into the dozens of strangers frequenting the cafe, u start to nod off

u dont even notice until one of the workers is shaking u awake with a polite smile and telling u tht the store is closing, so ure going to have to please leave

thts when ure like “wow,,, i was rlly tired bc it is LATE outside” but also “WAIT WHAT IF MY SOULMATE CAME HERE WHEN I WAS ASLEEP”

even as u frantically look around, u dont see any cutely written messages from ur presumed soulmate or anything like tht

all u can think is tht maybe ur soulmate clue doesnt mean what u thought it did

after all, its around evening already, and u still havent seen a sign of them

u end up wandering around outside again, too worried abt the possibility of never meeting ur soulmate to be freaked out over the whole “tiny kid walks around alone in the dark!!!!” thing

anywho

u keep checking ur phone (and feeling rlly grateful tht u havent run out of battery yet) and time just keeps to slip thru ur fingers

u end up going to a small restaurant for dinner, but its a place tht uve visited before and u dont see anyone new that could be ur soulmate

afterwards u decide to head on home with a heavy heart

u keep thinking “mb its not the date when we meet??”

but honestly ure not sure what else it could be

like is it the date ur soulmate is born?? but thtd be a kinda creepy age difference,,

and,,,, okay yeah u cant rlly think of anything else

u may or may not get lost a couple of times bc ure so absorbed in ur own thoughts

it doesnt help tht ure not exactly the best with directions

by the time u think ure nearing ur home, ur phone flashes at u with the time 11.51pm and ure like “???!!!!!!!!!!!”

u dont even know what to think at tht point

but then u get hit with the realization tht ure not meeting ur soulmate today and u might never meet them at all, and ure crushed with this aching sense of nothingness

ure just about ready to curl into a ball and just lie on the street for the rest of ur life when u hear someone yell “URE WALKING IN CIRCLES”

and u snap ur head up to try and see who said tht, and u see someone sticking his head out of his window and gesturing wildly

“wHAT” u manage to yell back, bc itd be embarrassing if this guy was trying to help u navigate around and u ended up sobbing back in response

“URE GOING IN CIRCLES UVE PASSED MY WINDOW LIKE 10 TIMES”

and thats.. just as embarrassing tbh

“ARE U LOST??? WHERE DO U LIVE”

all good intentions aside, u frown at his figure to tell him “IM NOT TELLING U WHERE I LIVE”, a pause, and then u add on “U CREEP” bc ure a strong independent individual who doesnt need any freaky dude in ur life

“AT LEAST USE UR PHONE OR SMTHN!!!! URE NEVER GOING TO GET HOME AT THIS POINT”

u feel a little dumb at that bc,,, honestly uve been so wrapped up in ur head tht u kinda forgot u could just use ur phone for directions back home

still just as u pull it out, it flashes a “dead battery” symbol and just. dies on u

“ITS DEAD” u tell the guy, altho ure not rlly sure why ure telling him this bc what if he really is a creep and now he knows u cant call for help ??????????

“IM COMING DOWN”

okay, thats definitely not helping ur i-think-hes-a-serial-killer idea

when he finally closes the window and makes his way down and outside to u, uve prepared urself with a rock

just,, in case,,,,,

(its not even a really good rock but u gotta do what u gotta do)

“i didnt want to keep yelling” the guy says, and he looks much sweeter in person (and when hes not screaming directions at u)

he sticks out his hand and ure like ?? but u take it anyways

“im lee daehwi!! do u want to borrow my phone?” he holds it out to u and even tho ure really tempted to take it, ure still a little skeptical

“if i put my address in there, then ull know where i live and u can track me afterwards”

he seems to find tht both very amusing and very insulting, since his face contorts into a half-laugh half-grimace

its a funny sight in of itself, so u cant help but smile at his expression

u end up bickering a little bit, and by the time he shoves his phone into ur face, u glance at the time and its past midnight and oh

today isnt the day u meet ur soulmate, then

ur face falls and he immediately yanks his hand back, obviously concerned

“are u okay?? whats wrong????”

and even tho hes still basically a stranger u cant help but show ur wrist to him and manage to explain tht u thought u were going to meet ur soulmate today, but its too late bc u still havent met them

but daehwi is giggling and ure like “dONT BE A JERK” but hes already pushing his own wrist into ur face

instead of the date, his reads “11.51 PM” in the same small dark font, and its like oh. OHHHHH

he pushes at ur shoulder, teasing u tht ur clue was more obvious bc “i had to wait around every day to see if i met someone new!!! i just want to sleep but i had no idea when id meet u”

and even as hes pouting u can barely process how relieved u are so u. accidentally zone out juuuust a little bit

he notices of course, and manages to get ur attention by saying “im glad its u tho bc ure super cute”

u stare at him, suddenly super focused on him, and he laughs

“i was just trying to get ur attention, but i do think ure rlly cute”

ure both still a bit in shock, but u manage to carry on conversations well enough bc now tht u know ure each others soulmates, ure desperate to talk to each other forever

he ends up insisting on cutting ur convo short and walking u home bc its so late, but he gives u his number and a quick, embarrassed peck on the cheek with a promise to talk to u soon

its even harder to fall asleep that night, ur head filled the memory of daehwi grinning at u like ure the best thing hed ever seen

others: jisung | sungwoon | daniel | woojin | more coming soon!

[baekhyunsahoe]

BBKY92 has posted!

By some small miracle, chanyeol makes it back to his apartment, jongin in tow. He thought they had taken uber pool but apparently not so they were having an impromptu drunken sleepover.

Chanyeol’s place is mini sized. It’s got zero bedrooms, one bath, and a small kitchen. they nearly trip over and die over the shoes at the door but somehow manage to land on the bed [if you can even call it that]. It’s nothing more than a futon on the floor with a bunch of pillows and some stuffed animals.

Jongin’s sprawled on his back, chanyeol side eyes his sockless state of foot that had probably been sockless since the start. That guy never liked socks. Chanyeol never liked sweaty feet from not wearing socks. It could not go on like this. He’s about to voice his views on this matter when jongin drops his phone on his own face.

Chanyeol bursts out laughing, jongin’s groaning background noise.

“are you okay?” chanyeol asks to be ‘polite.’ Jongin scowls and the phone slips out of his hand again. “you are not okay.” Chanyeol confirms.

“my screen is so bright dude.” Jongin complains. “its blinding”

“you can change it on your settings.”

“I did – oh shit!”

“what?!”

“kyungsoo called me.”

Chanyeol’s eyes widen. A mad kyungsoo was basically the end of your days. Or jongin’s days at least.

“why didn’t you answer it?” chanyeol asks in horror.

“I didn’t hear it!” jongin yells.

Chanyeol shakes his head and reaches for his phone. “oooooooo. he called me too.”

“seriously?!”

“deadass.”

“oh my god… I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up here any second now…” jongin blinks up at the ceiling seemingly having accepted his fate.

“fuck that.” Chanyeol scoffs laying on his side and snuggling the nearest pillow. “tell him youre staying over. Im sure he can survive one night without you.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

“stop saying okay.”

“okay.”

“I changed my mind, have him come here and get you the fuck out of my bed.”

“im sorry.”

Chanyeol throws a stuffed toy at him, reminds himself to say sorry to rainbow [his alpaca] later for using him as a weapon, and reaches for his laptop.

“I’ma throw up.”

“go to the bathroom.”

“okay.”

Chanyeol barely gives jongin the time of day as the younger male wobbles to the toilet. That’s what he gets. He had spent a whopping $80 earlier and it did not even include tip yet.

The alcohol is still rampant in his veins, chanyeols cheeks are flushed despite the cool temperate of his room. His eyes feels heavy, sleep threatening to overcome him soon. But he had some business he had to take care of. It was only 6pm [ they had been at the beer and chicken place for 4 hours before migrating to the nearest bar and ordering more rounds ] [ thankfully lit!jongin had been in a friendly mood and paid for it that time ]

Chanyeol quickly logs onto his tumblr and in five seconds flat uploads his video, checks bkhyn92s page, sees no updates, and slams his laptop shut. He lays down and is idly wondering if he had a password lock on there when he feels jongin collapse next to him, out like a light.

-- it isn’t morning yet when chanyeol wakes up next.

Its his turn to yack it.

Feeling like he was going to give birth through his mouth to a mutant chicken beer and soju blob chanyeol barely makes it to the bowl of his toilet.

“help me im dying.” He says to his shower curtain. it is of no help as the 2nd round causes chanyeol’s eyes to water.

After making a blood oath with himself in his mind to never drink again, chanyeol’s got the taste of tooth paste in his mouth instead of well. We don’t need to describe it.

The time on the microwave glimmers at him in the darkness.

10;30pm

Chanyeol settles on his bed, trying to ignore jongin cuddling rainbow the alpaca and is about to drift back off into much needed sleep when his phone vibrates loudly.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT.

BZZZZZZZT.

Ignore it, chanyeol thinks.

BZZZZZZZT BZZT BZZT BZZZZZZZZZZZZT

Don’t ignore it, chanyeol reconsiders.

With a dramatic FUCK MY LIFE muttered under his breath, chanyeol answers without looking.

“WHAT.”

“hello chanyeol.”

He blanches. That voice.

“s-soo?”

Do kyungsoo, the guardian of the seven rings of hell. No jk. But he totally can be if he ever applied for that job.

“nice of you to answer. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t.”

“of course. Um.”

“jongin there?”

“yeah. He’s knocked out.” Chanyeol says apologetically hating how he was going to get the blame for jongin’s idea to get shitfaced in mid afternoon.

“is he ok?” kyungsoo asks, instead of the SEND ME YOUR LOCATION for proof chanyeol was expecting. Kyungsoo was a bit overprotective in the cutest and deadliest way possible.

“he should be.”  chanyeol kicks jongin in the leg to see if he is alive. Jongin groans. “yeah hes fine. Did you want to come swoop him?”

“no way. He might yack in my car.”

Such a caring bf. That’s bae. Jongin was a lucky guy.

“well don’t worry, hes safe here with me. Unless he tries to draw a penis on my face. Then I cant make any promises.”

“my relationship turnover was coming up anyway.” Kyungsoo jokes darkly. Chanyeol snickers despite a small voice in his mind squeaking pls don’t hurt me through out this whole conversation. “by the way, I heard you were going on a date with Baekhyun tomorrow.”

Jesus did jongin alert the media? Was there a new snapchat filter for this too? which countries still didn’t know? Has that billboard for rent been bought out to make a glowing neon sign yet? Did he make a medical breakthrough to relay messages to fetuses in the wombs as well? You know, since he felt the need to open his big mouth and tell everyone.

“uh. Yeah. I guess.”

“I’m pretty excited to see how this turns out.”

“do you know Baekhyun?” chanyeol asks curiously. One part of him felt kinda weird talking to kyungsoo on the phone while his boyfriend was spooning an alpaca.

“we went to the same music school together.”

“oh.” Chanyeol, the greatest conversationalist ever. Replies.

“he’s a nice guy once you get to know him. Don’t be offended by his ratchet self. He may seem like a thot, but that’s just an image he tries to maintain.” Kyungsoo says helpfully.

Chanyeol meanwhile is trying to do some math in his head. Did he hear correctly? Was he still drunk? Why on earth would anyone want to up hold their thottie honor? This is why chanyeol was single.

“don’t tell him I told you this, but hes still pretty down in the dumps about his break up. He was actually serious about that guy. It just didn’t work out you know?”

“uhhuh.” Chanyeol wanted to know more but at the same time he didn’t want to pry. He was raised to be respectful of other peoples business. Baekhyuns secrets, personal and his, didn’t need to be told to him by someone else.

“I could tell you more if you want.”

“sure.”

That previous paragraph never happened.

“he’s probably going to try to smash.”

“what.”

“yeah. Havent you heard the best way to get over a guy is to get under another one?”

No. of course not. the last time he checked he hadn’t subscribed to the Thotsmopolitan.

“are you sure about this?” chanyeol asks swallowing hard, the feeling of nervousness deep-throating him.

“yup.” A yawn. “I might have said too much.”

“wait. So should i… you know.”

“if you like him, you shouldn’t.”

Ah yes. that made total sense. Don’t get into the pants of someone youre feeling.

“because that will automatically make you look like a fuckboy. it’s a test of sorts. That’s why im telling you. I think youd be a good match for him.”

“why is that?”

“youd just balance each other out.”

Chanyeols starting to wonder just how much kyungsoo knew about him. Whenever he third wheeled it was all good times; karaoke bowling pet cafes… nothing ever deep. Perhaps jongin be talking shit?

“anyway. Good luck tomorrow and have fun! Tell jongin he better be home before I wake up with breakfast ready or else.”

“yes sir!”

“goodnight chanyeol.”

sweet

   “So you’re chanyeol?”

“yes. last time I checked.”

Baekhyun looks amused despite the judgemental tone of his voice.

Chanyeol just looks uncomfortable.

The date came sooner than he would like [he had a mere less than 24 hours to prepare himself and half those hours were him hungover on soju]. Now he found himself sitting  in the same chicken and beer spot [seriously was there no other place to go to around these parts?] with jongin’s music teacher for company.

“and when was that?”  Baekhyun asks innocently sipping at his water. Chanyeol takes note of his hands. Theyre very pretty. Like the rest of the guy. Except when he opens his mouth. He seems to be snarky but playful which isn’t bad, but chanyeol is socially awkward at times like these.

He swallows a weird lump in his throat. “um.” He didn’t quite know how to answer that.

“kidding!” Baekhyun laughs. “I don’t need to know last time you checked.”

Then why did you ask, chanyeol thinks crazily. He sips his water too with a pained smile. Baekhyun was seriously intimidating and he didn’t know why. Maybe its because they were both sober and what kyungsoo had said echoes back and forth in chanyeol’s mind like a 1980s horror cartoon. ‘he’s gonna wanna smaaaaaaaaaAssshhhhhhhhh’ kyungsoo replayss in a creepy singsong voice.

“want to get something to drink?” chanyeol blurts.

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. “do you want to get me drunk…?”

“no! no. I just.” Chanyeol rambles, horrified at the insinuation. He wasn’t a fuckboy!

“chill. I wanna get me drunk.” Baekhyun winks. “a pitcher and a bottle of chamisul sound good to you?”

“sounds good, yeah, great actually.” Chanyeol agrees nodding his head repeatedly. Baekhyun laughs again.

“someones eager.” Baekhyun comments. “or a raging alcoholic.”

Chanyeol pouts but he realizes Baekhyun is just teasing.

The alcohol arrives soon enough and after the first two soju bombs chanyeol is feeling less stressed and more relaxed. Baekhyun looks the same, a sign he must have high alcohol tolerance. Whos the raging alcoholic now?

“tell me about yourself.” Baekhyun drawls, gaze focused solely on chanyeol. His pretty eyes are outlined with black liner, and despite appearing as sober as fifteen minutes ago has a slight pink glow dusting across his cheek bones. “why are you single.”

Chanyeol blinks, has to seriously come up with an answer to that question. He ends up laughing awkwardly, scratching his head. “oh I guess I just don’t really have much time to date and plus its hard to meet people nowadays, I think… “

“How long have you been single?”

“Um… a few months,” A FEW YEARS, his mind and penis scream at him in devastation.

“Ooh. No hook ups or anything?” Baekhyun asks casually pouring a shot for the both of them.

Chanyeol isn’t sure if he should confess to not having boned in A FEW YEARS or to try and seem cool by saying he got hoes in different area codes. But he didn’t wanna be a fuckboy. gods, was this a test? There was no winning!

“No…” he ends up answering honestly. He takes his shot without Baekhyun and downs his beer.

Baekhyun looks truly surprised. “wow. So you’re saying you haven’t gotten laid in months?” he whistles, and takes his drink.

“its not really a big deal to me,” chanyeol explains hastily, defending his unwanted chastity belt.

“uhhuh.” Baekhyun nods, pouring yet another set of beer and soju. “hooking up isn’t a big deal to you.”

“no!” chanyeol exclaims. “no, I meant. Like. Nevermind.”

Baekhyun smiles coyly at him through his eyelashes. “cheers to that.”

“cheers to what?”

“hooking up.”

They down their respective alcohol even though chanyeol isn’t sure what the hell that meant but strangely finds himself not too worried. Baekhyuns presence is becoming comfortable, and with every shot, chanyeol feels like he can be more and more himself. Baekhyun laughs a lot at his reactions and stories, and chanyeol is captivated everytime Baekhyun opens his mouth, looks at him, pours drink, takes a shot, anything really. Baekhyun is truly gorgeous, and attractive af. There was just something about him and chanyeol is suddenly thinking about baekhyuns previous question except about Baekhyun – why was he single?

[the-ekera-chronicals]

An Interlude (or: The Groundhog)

I can’t speak for Alex’s point of view of this, i make it a point not to listen in on what people think, or peek at what theyre doing. So ill just have to hope that im doing something good and not something invasive and inappropriate.. i would have asked to be sure but i really want it to be a surprise.. anyways, ive asked them to tell me when they have a few hours they wont be needed or called on. Preferably nighttime. I’ve asked pixel to wake me up if they text me while im asleep. Oh! There it is, alex says they’re home for a while and dont have anything to do. Ok, time for them to open the box. HS: ok, so, do you trust me? AR: yes? Why? HS: because im gonna give you some instructions and i need you to follow them exactly, no questions asked. Can you do that? AR: yeeeess? HS: promise? AR: of course Hs: ok. Open the box. Its extremely heavy dont bother trying to move it all at once. Theres a helmet in the box, put it on and press your hand to the panel on the right side.

I quickly go put on my matching helmet and climb through the door in the wall nearest me, climbing onto a machine and pressing some buttons. Through the headset in the helmet i hear a beep and some muffled rustling. Smiling to myself, i begin speaking “hi alex! These are prerecorded instructions, please follow them exactly, and dont push any buttons on anything unless instructed to do so. Each time you complete one step of the instructions, please press the panel on the right side of your helmet to proceed to the next.” I hear alex intake a startled breath, and make some disgruntled confused noises followed by “okayy…” i wait to hear the beep that indicates theyve pressed the panel “in the box there is a round object, its very heavy but shouldnt be impossible to lift. I call it groundhog. Remember when i asked you where youd put a trap door if you could? Put the groundhog there.” *beep* “lift the cover on the top and press the big green button. Step back, now, you’ve got a minute or so, take it to choose something on your phone to watch thats around twenty minutes long. You’re gonna want it later. Once you’ve chosen something, open it on your phone, look at it with the helmet visor down, and press the left panel on your helmet" i know alex is probably at the moment very confused, i had them carry a medium sized heavy machine to a spot on the floor and press a button on it only to have it suddenly start expanding and moving around, but it will all make sense soon. *beep* “ok! Now next time you hit that left panel it will play the video youve chosen on your visor screen, i swear its a comfortable brightness, the audio will overtake the headset as well. Now! In the box there is also a handle, and a very heavy ladder. Bring the handle to the spot where the groundhog was, put it down, press the button, and it a pull, and push the door to the side.” Im beginning to get a little nervous.. theyre about to push the door to the side and see a fucking tunnel drop under the floor.. “jesus christ Heather..” Ah. Yep. I can hear alex being very confused… they might have to sit a second before prompting the next instruction.. i mean theres a fucking tunnel in their floor.. shit. Maybe this was a bad- *beep* oh.. “ok! Now theres a hole in your floor, sorry about that, you’ll thank me later, i promise. Take the ladder from the box to the trap door, making sure the arrow you’ll see is pointing up, attach the upper end in the clearly designated space at the trap door, and press the release latch.” *bzzz bzzz* i check my phone,

AR: ok i know you said no questions asked but what the fuck HS: sorry sorry sorry just trust me i swear its a good thing i just want it to be a surprise or i’d have asked… AR: okayyyyy HS: i love youuuuu AR: i love you toooo *beep* “ok! So your ladder has extended down the tunnel and lit up, but before you climb down, you’ll need the last thing in the box: the bag of lights. So get that and sling it over your shoulder. Then go over to the door, press the button on the handle again and remove it. Using the same method you used before opening the door, attach the handle to the bottom of the door. Now begin your climb down the ladder, i recommend closing the door behind you.” Oh god here we go. I mean the pauses between the end of my instruction and the beep implies they’re probably actually following them so.. “fucking christ..” Yeah.. “…….what the fuck” Oh they found the groundhog. *beep* “So, assuming you’ve reached the bottom of the ladder, youre now seeing the fully expanded groundhog. On the left side theres a deposit shoot, pour the lights in there. Then stand on the platform. You’ll see a covered control panel in front of you, ignore it, you dont need it for this adventure. You’ll only need the top,uncovered, row of buttons. Once youre on the platform, take hold of the platform to your right-” “take hold of this dick..” Oh my god alex, i struggle not to interrupt my dialogue and give away the game “-and bring it around behind you. It should click into place. Press your heels back into the panel, flatten yourself against it, you’ll, notice a button under your right hand, dont push it. DO push the latch button above the control panel, and please do not be alarmed and remember that you trust me and i promise this isnt gonna hurt you.” I figured i should throw a warning in, since the helmet is going to attach itself to the panel, the panel will inflate and release safety straps. “Oh shit.. ok” Yep. *beep* “Now press the ‘beacon’ button, and then the standby button in front of it, now go ahead and play the video on your headset with the left side panel. Make yourself comfortable, pressed back against the cushion as tightly as possible, and press the button under your hand.” Woosh.. ok, i turn off the microphone on my end and strap myself to the cushion behind my back, “FUCK” I hear alex gasp suddenly.. yeah.. i should have warned about sudden movement.. too late now. i close my eyes, exhale slowly, and press a button. ~roughly 20 minutes later~ I sit in a tunnel, waiting, and hoping i havent crossed a line, waiting for- a rapid rumbling interrupts my thoughts, i jump up and look, to see a large round shap forcing its way through, pushing eath to the sides and compressing it. The machine turns slightly to the left and i watch the helmeted figure try to look around before pressing the right side of their helmet. *beep* i take a deep breath and try to contain my smile “you have reached your destination, to release, press the latch button again. Push the deflated cushion back to the standby position.” I watch them push the button, and struggle with moving the cushion. I chuckle, and say “now turn around and say hello” the figure freezes and slowly turns. I take off my helmet. “And maybe give your lover a kiss?” Alex takes off their helmet and stares at me and disbelief, i shuffle awkwardly in place, “hey darlin, how’ve you- MMPH!” I dont get to finish my conversation starter, having been rushed by my love, lifted off the ground, and kissed soundly. Which is a much better way, to end this story (or start another one?), than “how’ve you been” ❤