#I NEEDED TO SPICE IT UP HENCE REPOST

[lolokouhm]

You got Gojo Satoru wondering - and he might not be built for that.

Satoru is a person who doesn't really think twice before acting. He's used to being the strongest, the most powerful and hence, always right. But for the first time in a very long time, Satoru starts to wonder.

The beginnings are innocent, as they tend to be. Why are you so easy to talk to? He's had plenty of girls before, and none of them seemed to be able to hold conversation as well as you. Why are you so pretty? Your parents must have some crazy genes, both sides, to create a creature so insanely breathtaking. Why are you so bold? You were the one who made the first step and suggested this whole friends-with-benefits type of situation and that's why Satoru blames you. He's not used to thinking like that. That's too much for his pretty head to take.

Oh, and by the way, as we're on the subject of head - why are you so good at giving it? The way your sneaky little tongue plays with his tip almost gets him crying every fucking time. You should be illegal - and it gets even worse. Your gaze somehow always finds his and it doesn't even feel like you're looking at him. It's black magic. Maybe you are a curse user after all - your eyes do something to weaken him, being especially effective when poor Satoru is really trying his best not to come too soon. And so, he wonders. Do you want to kill him? Do you want him to drop dead, just like that?

In terms of dropping, Gojo is dropping to his knees, that's for sure. He'd drop everything actually, just to be able to open your legs and worship both you and the ground you're walking on, no matter where, no matter when. Your warmth gets him thinking. Why are your thighs so soft? He could sleep on them. he could live there - right there, in a sacred place, which no other men should ever have access to. A mere thought of that makes him angry, and that again, makes him wonder.

Is he jealous? But there were no rules, no talk of exclusivity. He thought he couldn't be jealous like that, especially when you didn't have anyone except him. At least that's how it was at first, but now he's not sure. He’s never asked. Satoru is thinking. Again. It feels uncomfortable, and the feeling intensifies as he reaches for his car keys. Maybe he shouldn’t be driving in this state? Normally he’d ask Geto, but the way his best friend stared at you during that party last weekend makes him grind his teeth. He didn't worry about it back then. So what changed? The way your body feels under his fingers? The way you smile, so sincerely that it feels unfair to have you in this universe? The way you moan his name and shake, when he...

’toru?’

Your voice brings him back. He looks at you, eyes wide open, confusion yet again written all over his face. Because even though he might be the honoured one, he's just a man. A man, who doesn't notice how his fingers unconsciously get tangled with yours every time he brings you on edge. A man, who doesn't understand why you make him feel not only like a horny teenager, but also a sad, lonely puppy every single time you leave his apartment, all happy and giddy for some inexplicable reason. A man, who simply doesn't get why his heart beats as if it's completely lost its rhythm in front of you, especially now, his six eyes scanning your surprised expression when you finally open the door.

Satoru wanted to say something, but doesn't know what now. Your lips are so distracting after all.

Guess he'll wonder for a little longer.

masterlist ❤️

[nuclearshxgun]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by stolen from: @bytesnbolts

tagging: Absolutely anyone whomst interested

Let’s talk a bit about my stances in my latest pet project, Xeno

MY MUSE IS.   canon (ish) / oc / au  / canon-divergent / fandomless

is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  WELL… / NO / IDK. (Usually not)

is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

are they underrated?  YES / NO. [Definitely overshadowed by Ghidorah and Destoroyah as far as villains go]

were they relevant to the main story?  YES (Main antagonist on 2 occasions) / NO.

were they relevant to the main character?  YES (Biologically) / NO 

are they widely known in their world?  YES [Technically ripped apart Earth once] / NO 

how’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

My headcanon to the timeline is a bit weird honestly, it tries to thread all the respective ‘eras’ together chronologically, with each ‘era’ represented by a different Gojira (Hence Goji mentioning his ancestors frequently). After Final Wars, I feel things get rather divergent, considering Godzilla Unleashed both as the follow up to Final Wars and as the ‘endgame’ of the Final Wars Gojira, leading into the ‘Reiwa’ incarnation represented by my Goji muse. The ‘Reiwa’ timeline is loosely based on the Monsterverse.

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.)

Well, I’ve seen le bad boye has already become popular amongst followers but:

1. I felt like another villainous Kaiju whom was a bit different from Ghidorah would spice things up a bit. I’ve been planning to bring a villain to this blog for a while and I felt SpaceGodzilla was the best fit, having the most opportunities to develop character.

2. He’s an absolute gremlin

3. Is insane enough to conspire with other villains to achieve his goals of removing Goji from the natural hierarchy.

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

I feel SpaceGodzilla is in a particular position where they’re particularly overshadowed by understandably more powerful Kaiju.

Perhaps its a bit of a risk to have a muse that throws morals and common sense out the window, considering I’ve been used to playing ‘moral’ characters previously.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?

I’ve been around for a while, about 5-6 years now, not always in this particular fandom (Some may still recognise me as @kazankaizer). I’ve had this Gojira blog properly for about a year and had always planned for the blog to be inhabited by two muses, with a villain muse that acted as the ‘opposite side’ of the coin as it were to Goji. i had always intended it to be SpaceGodzilla but as a new entrant to the community just a bit before KOTM, I felt I wasn’t ready back then. Well here he is, a year later.

As for the characterization, I’d hoped I’d gauge it somewhere between the alien, yet calculating nature of Ghidorah and the streak of insanity of Destoroyah, with a hint of childish jealousy and sense of entitlement.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?

Well, the concept that SpaceGodzilla is always hatching sinister plots with his  ragtag band of bastards. I do intend that at a future point, Goji will become aware of Xeno’s actions and perhaps begin to counter them a bit more.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. [Is there an IDK for this?]

do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. [Absolutely]

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.  [I've pondered about making ‘Starstruck’ an actual story one day... maybe]

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.

are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. 

are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [About as good as I can be]

are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. [Can I say both?]

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

Feedback makes us better doesn’t it? I’m all for suggestions to be honest. As long as it’s constructive, it’s gud.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  

See above, absolutely

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  

I have designed my muses to be flexible, should I need to fit in with a different headcanon with particular threads, that can be arranged for. I may kindly ask why.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

Personally that’s fine, I personally respect other interpretations of characters on my blog and in fact appreciate that we have our degrees of difference.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

Well, I suppose I can’t do overly much about that can I? We are entitled to our own opinions I would assume, though I would be wondering why on Earth you’re even bothering to follow me if you hate the portrayals.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  

I find I usually catch myself with grammatical errors before others point it out, if they do at all. I’m yet to find someone who is iffy about grammar, even if I’m usually good with it.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  

Absolutely! I’m open for most things and enjoy casual discussion with the community about various things. I often find I’m slow to approach at first and that’s fine, once I get to know muns, I’m usually on fire.

Things rp partners/mutuals should know:

- Tumblr can really be a hell site sometimes, sometimes I miss replies because I can’t see it in my notifications so if you think I’ve missed something please gimme a shout.

- I’m in an admittedly awkward timezone, so for a lot of people, I’m replying to things in the dead of night.

- Sometimes, I tend to take breaks from things for a while so if it appears I’ve disappeared for a bit, that’s probably what’s happened, me recharging and getting new ideas.

[aragakisan]

let's do a weird headcanon thing. repost don’t reblog !

1. WHAT THEY SMELL LIKE  /  spices, food - a quick indicator of his love for cooking, a warm, homely scent in a way. a synthetic, unpleasant smell of medicine, either from the suppressants or other medicine used to treat the side effects with, doesn’t quite smell like anything else and can usually be detected near his mouth so, not a lot of people have really smelled it. outdoors smell, you know what i’m talking about probably if you’ve ever spent a long time outdoors; your clothes will smell a certain way. soap - due to his lifestyle and spending a lot of his time in public places with a lot of germs around, he takes care of his hygiene, this also meaning washing his hands frequently.

2. HOW THEY SLEEP (SLEEPING POSITION, SCHEDULE, ETC)  / taking a lot of space, very spread out - legs and arms all over the place. sleeps on his back due to the coughing and respiratory problems that come with the suppressants. when healthy though he would also sleep on his stomach. a night owl, stays up pretty late due to both habit and his lifestyle. irregular sleep schedule. grumpy in the mornings but able to get up early if he really has to. takes a lot of naps (always has), doesn’t sleep that well at night - especially on p // 3′s timeline with his burdening guilt and his lifestyle that doesn’t allow him to stay in one place for a super long time, even if business owners (club escapade’s owner, ms. shinshoudo etc etc) around town offer him a place to stay in so he doesn’t need to sleep on the streets or anything.

3. WHAT MUSIC THEY ENJOY  / classic (and other) rock from ‘60′s and ‘70′s. he likes the nostalgic vibes and i also headcanon the orphan mainly had some pretty outdated music available that i think he may have listened to and enjoyed as a kid - it brings him back to a time before everything negative in his life; miki’s death, october 4 etc. one fanbook also states that his style is ‘60′s inspired, which further supports this headcanon.

4. HOW MUCH TIME THEY SPEND GETTING READY EVERY MORNING  / not a lot, basic morning routines, dressing up, beanie on and he’s good to go. he doesn’t really concern himself with his looks aside from repping his own style as he usually doesn’t much care what other people think of him in that aspect. (though if he likes someone and knows he’ll see them that day he may just take a second look at a mirror, suddenly feeling a lot more self conscious about this. laughs)

5. THEIR FAVORITE THING TO COLLECT  /  recipes from cooking shows, books, magazines etc - cooking equipment. anything sentimentally meaningful to him he makes sure to keep, memories are extremely important to shinjiro. the fanbook also states he used to collect vintage sunglasses - apparently ”didn’t really wear them much” but collected them. go figure. (that’s cute though)

6. LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED / right handed. this is also the hand he wields his heavy battle axe with. let’s also not forget he apparently has a strong right hook. (thanks for telling us, aki.)

7. RELIGION (IF ANY)  / basic, japanese shinto-buddhist upbringing, more as a lifestyle than as a religion to worship, as it is. not very spiritual himself though as he’s quite the pragmatic person and doesn’t really have the time or mindset to think about things this way. i can’t see him do praying (like ken for example) or any other religious practices either though he won’t judge you if you do. you do your thing, i do mine - as he tends to say.

8. FAVORITE TOURISTY THING TO DO WHEN TRAVELING  /  shinjiro hasn’t done traveling up to p.3′s timeline like, at all, aside from maybe school trips or such. and i don’t see him ever do that a lot, he’s a very static person who just likes to stay in one place ... but if he did decide to travel of course he’d do that mainly to taste the cuisine of another culture or region and to learn about it. cooking is his passion, so first and foremost anything to do with food. otherwise he’d probably get stressed out and annoyed walking around doing touristy stuff. he’ll go to please someone though, if he really likes the person or doesn’t wanna make ‘em sad.

9. FAVORITE KIND OF WEATHER  /  mild weathers, not too hot and not too cold. in p.3′s timeline due to his body temperature problems he’ll prefer a warmer climate to a colder one since he feels pretty chilly most of the time (hence the layers of clothing). but it is also shown in p // q that he doesn’t handle extreme hotness super well either. he’ll like a sunny weather, it’s pleasant - as long as it’s not scorching hot and especially not humid. just-- anything in the middle is good. balance. a weather and temperature you can spend a long time in without any problems. he hates rain and gusts of wind, though. those will get you sick and cold unlike anything else.

10. A WEIRD / OBSCURE FEAR THEY HAVE  /  being the center of attention, especially in a positive light. he absolutely cannot handle compliments and praise, doesn’t know how to respond to them and it’ll cause him mild anxiety. it is something he needs from time to time (imho) to boost his awfully low self esteem, but he personally tends to think people making anything he does into a big deal is a bit exhausting and an exaggeration. he gets embarrassed and defensive from positive attention and often has a hard time even saying thanks due to this.

11. THE CARNIVAL / ARCADE GAME THEY ALWAYS WIN WITHOUT FAIL  / anything requiring great upper body strength (like those hammer games, idk what they are called), he is also good at anything that requires patience and meticulous skill of hand, such as goldfish scooping and crafty stuff like katanuki (diecutting).   

tagged by: stolen from someone like 50 years ago tagging: @dolgelo @fatesinheritor @crossxskulled @shadowsboxer @orgiia @miskick @frcidyne @jokeren and anyone else !

[shireofkevin]

DETAILED APPEARANCE INFO

FACE SHAPE:  Oval CHEEKS:  High cheek bones, little bit of baby fat left over. LIPS: Full. Hence the effectiveness of his signature pout. SKIN COLOR: Fairly pale, as he doesn’t prefer to spend much time outside during the day. If he is outside, it’s usually at night as he’s snuck out. SKIN TYPE:  He’s Irish, so he burns fairly easily. Also, sunscreen is not yet in vogue in 1973 so it’s even worse. Really dark tans were super in so he sometimes feels insecure at the beach because of how white he is. EYE SHAPE:  Oval EYE COLOR:  Blue EYEBROW SHAPE:  Fairly thin and long EYEBROW COLOR:  Dark brown EYELASHES: Short, not really noticeable unless you’re up close. NOSE SHAPE:  Long, round at the end. not huge, but not exactly small either. HAIR TEXTURE:  Thick, soft. Statics pretty bad in the winter. Curls in at the ends. HAIR COLOR:  Dark brown HAIR LENGTH:  Just above his shoulders. Sometimes a little longer, but if it gets too long his dad always forces him to get a haircut.

SHOULDERS:  Boney. He has a scar on the back of his left shoulder from the swimming pool incident (though he himself doesn’t know where it came from)

ARMS: Long, lanky, a couple of freckles here and there.

STOMACH AREA:  Pretty flat.  WAIST:  Narrow. His hip bones stick out. LOVE HANDLES?:  Kind of if he slouches. He’s pretty thin for the most part though as he just went through a major growth spurt, and he doesn’t have much to eat (a sandwich for lunch and a frozen dinner at supper is about average) CHEST/BREASTS: Not even worth mentioning. NIPPLES:  pink? (I mean I never really thought about it) BACK:  His spine is visibly curved, though not enough to need surgery. But this also causes one rib to stick out more in the back then the other. HAND SIZE:  Average 

BOTTOM: It’s got a little shape to it, girls sometimes comment on it though that’s pretty rare.

THIGHS:  Soft, fleshy. Not really worth mentioning. LEG LENGTH:  Long, but not disproportionately so

misc.

SCENT:  Either weed or cigarette smoke, Old Spice deodorant, lavender shampoo and hand soap (thanks, mom) HAND NAILS:  He bites them off rather than wasting time cutting them when one gets too long TOENAILS: He trims them about twice a month as it’s unavoidable, but they don’t grow that fast. He has a bruise under his right big toe. VOICE: He intentionally speaks softer and lower than natural. Though, his voice isn’t exactly high it can get that way when he’s emotional.  PIERCINGS:  None currently. He wants to get an earring, but he knows his dad would kill him if he did. TATTOOS: None. He doesn’t really want one, but he is the type who might get one just to spite his parents. WEIGHT:  110 BRA SIZE: n/a SHOE SIZE: men’s size 8 PREFERRED CHOICE OF SHOES: Runners CLOTHING STYLE: Casual and comfortable. He loves denim and sometimes likes the occasional accessory. GENERAL BODYSHAPE: lean

do not reblog, repost.

TAGGED BY: stolen from @aquarad TAGGING: …anybody who wants to

[honeycut-a-blog]

VERY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.

RULES. repost ------ don’t reblog. tag ten people. tag your mom. tag your wife. tag my cat, roger TAGGED BY. @persevercnce TAGGING. @mageright @hornsfirst @somnivr @sacrificedmore @emperorjade / @blackwine @blackshadowed @bladedrawn @mortedistelle @crownviper @freedomdweller

BASICS.

FULL NAME: marian elizabeth hawke. the first two spoken in unison are not unlike a horrible, unparalled, cream-of-the-crop curseword to her. you can thank leandra for it NICKNAME/S: hawke, champion, chuckles AGE: 25 (beginning of act 1) / 35 (inquisition) / 37 (trespasser). BIRTHDAY:  august 20th. ETHNIC GROUP: french-chinese. NATIONALITY: fereldan. LANGUAGE/S: common tongue, mandarin, french. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: biromantic. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: verse dependent. single by default, though she has a sexual history with certain companions back in kirkwall. CLASS: that girl with enough riches to bless the rains down in africa but her lifestyle and personal choices say otherwise.  HOMETOWN / AREA: lothering, ferelden ------- birthplace unknown. CURRENT HOME: kirkwall. PROFESSION: a legend laid to rest. an ex-member of the red iron. before kirkwall, she and her father were travelling bards, sent on missions to spy and collect information. and sometimes kill.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: black, silken, always messy yet somehow still in place. EYES: white-blue. striking. monolids with medium-length lashes. usually clouded with dark, smoky makeup. NOSE: low nose bridge, sticking prominently from her face; rounded tip, flat nostrils. mixture of the “greek” and “mongolian” types.  FACE: sharp, square jawline, sloping gently to the chin. high cheekbones, plush cheeks. riddled with freckles. one beauty mark sitting on the curve of her upper lip. a scar also runs through her left eyebrow; bar fight, 9:32.  LIPS: thick, dark, and rounded. upper and lower lips are the same thickness. little to no cupid’s bow. always chapped, sometimes with bloody patches from where she chews the skin. a light pink in color beneath her lipstick.  COMPLEXION: very light in tone, scattered with small freckles and moles all over the body. burns easy. nose + cheeks + ears turn red in the slightest chill. itchy in winter.  BLEMISHES: what’s the occasional stress pimple at age 35? SCARS: a whole body littered with ‘em, mostly odds and ends, scratches and divots. the most prominent is the long, dipping scar along her abdomen where the arishok skewered her on his blade. some are also self-inflicted.  TATTOOS: unspecified red heraldry on her left bicep.  HEIGHT: 5′11 WEIGHT: 169 lbs. BUILD: tall and very much pear-shaped. slight shoulders that drop to a medium chest, padded ribs, plush belly, wide hips, breakneck thighs, strong calves. it becomes more noticeable in her older age (inquisition verse +). she was slimmer throughout DA2, more toned in the biceps and abdomen, though her stomach was never perfectly flat and her hips were never small.  ALLERGIES: none. she’d love to say she’s allergic to cats just so anders will leave her the fuck alone. sadly not the case. USUAL HAIRSTYLE: short, uneven and choppy throughout DA2; easy to work with on those busy days of airing out everyone’s laundry. fairly outgrown by inquisition, all the layers having grown to relatively the same length. drops to her mid-back. she’s chopped her bangs to be more straight-across, but sometimes she lets them grow out to the familiar wisps that hang in her eyes. USUAL EXPRESSION: something sardonic and roguish. a slack, cocky smirk that never quite makes a smile. catty eyes and arched brows always make for more of an intimidating look, even when she’s not being particularly harmful.  USUAL CLOTHING: rogue champion armor during excursions and other heavy quests. otherwise, usually seen in the typical assassin’s mantle on any given day in kirkwall where there’s no immediate threat to her life beyond a few bandits. skyhold was different; a cold-as-shit wakeup call to remind her of what she both missed and hated about ferelden. she arrived in a long, form-fitting, fur-hooded coat with dark pants and boots underneath, cinched at the waist with her father’s old belt and other carry-on packs.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: spiders, open waters, drowning, her own magic, her failure to protect the ones she loves.  ASPIRATION/S: to help those who need it most. to protect the little people who don’t get a say. to find balance within herself.  POSITIVE TRAITS: funny, charming, resourceful, intelligent, helpful, trustworthy, loyal/doting if in a good, committed relationship. NEGATIVE TRAITS: aggressive, undependable, irresponsible, self-hating, self-mutilating, cynical, manipulative, gossipy, has been known to make misogynistic and casually racist comments (no actual slurs, but follows stereotypes). she’s grown a bit more conscientious by end of act 3 / inquisition times, but she’s not perfectly correct just yet. MBTI: infp. ZODIAC: leo. TEMPERAMENT: choleric; aggressive, passionate, and leader-like. SOUL TYPE/S: leader ( 14 ) hunter ( 12 ) creator ( 12 ) ANIMAL: dragon. VICE/S: smoking,  excessive drinking, hypersexuality.  FAITH: it’s difficult. she denies andrastian faith for the harm that’s come of it, but believes more in ... certain forces of nature, somewhat. for instance: the wind is a woman who doesn’t like her, hence why it turns her cheeks red in the cold. it’s a bit of a joke to her either way. GHOSTS? yes. AFTERLIFE? she believes that the dead do ... something, somewhere. she believes they can be contacted through direct prayer ---- not through andraste ---- and that their spirits watch over the ones they left behind.  REINCARNATION? yes, but you don’t get a choice on what to be next. ALIENS? nah. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: fuck the big hats, religion is used as an excuse to oppress, kill the corrupt, find justice in vengeance.  ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: all the money in the world could not make her happy. SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: n/a. EDUCATION LEVEL:  home-schooled, as far as actual “schooling” goes; she’s multilingual and knows how to read and write, let’s put it that way. she was also trained by her father, a jack of all trades, in knife-wielding and lute-playing. 

FAMILY.

FATHER: deceased; died of a natural illness before the fifth blight. she was closer to him than anyone else and competed for his attention constantly. he taught her everything about his culture, or at least what he chose to believe in, and she held up to it more than her other two siblings.  MOTHER: deceased; killed by the blood mage quentin. their relationship was very strained. even though hawke resented her mother, she was still very struck by the grotesque manner of her death, and took it as a personal failure to protect. was more a matter of pride than heartbreak.  SIBLING/S: carver and bethany hawke; both deceased. hawke was particularly closer to carver, who was denied his father’s attention between quests with marian and training bethany, but the border between them ---- carver believing much less in their father and the culture he brought ---- consistently threw them into arguments. bethany was better about it. she got along with both her parents equally, and thus was more agreeable with her big sister. EXTENDED FAMILY: uncle gamlen, her cousin charade, and her cousin amell.  NAME MEANING/S: variant of marion, a french diminutive form of marie, which is derived from the hebrew miryām, a name of debated meaning. many believe it to mean "sea of bitterness" or "sea of sorrow." however, some sources cite the alternative definitions of "rebellion," "wished-for child," and "mistress or lady of the sea." HISTORICAL CONNECTION: n/a.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Hard In Hightown.  MOVIE: she’ll say Wayne’s World, but in reality, it’s P.S. I Love You. 5 SONGS:  rich / the yeah yeah yeah’s, dreams so real / metric, juicebox / the strokes, elastic heart / sia, the wreckoning / boomkat DEITY:  her father. MONTH: august. SEASON: autumn. PLACE: lothering.  WEATHER: warm and red-skied. SOUND: someone talking to her while she falls asleep. SCENT/S: hickory burning in the firepit - wind in the grime of her hair - wine on her breath - smoke on her clothes.  TASTE/S: the spice of cooked meat - the sweetness of chocolate cake - peaches and cream in spring - creek water in lothering - blood on her lower lip - metal in her lungs.  FEEL/S: dirt clotting under her nails - tightness in her chest - eyes straining into the distance - sweat in her father’s boots - magic like fire under her skin - the worn grip of a reliable dagger - the silk of her sheets - a well-ridden climax. ANIMAL/S: dogs, bunnies & reptiles.  NUMBER: 1. COLOR: shades of red.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: domination, persuasion, stealth, flirtation, adaptation / singing and lute-playing / knife-wielding and trap-setting. she can master almost anything she tries; jill of all trades, just like her father. BAD AT: magic, deadlines, loyalty within contract, social correctness, self-restraint, prayer upkeep, physical upkeep, empathy for the unjust, respecting personal spaces, self-healing. TURN-ONS: strength, consensual aggression, rebellious behavior, wrists in knots, somewhere public, someone sweet, someone mean, someone who loves her, someone who hates her. TURN-OFFS: sappiness, bigotry, religion, unwanted hands, pick-up lines from gross men, condescension, ownership.  HOBBIES: eating and drinking. mostly eating. TROPES: alpha bitch, biker babe, black widow, cool big sis, daddy’s girl, dragon woman, lady in red, the lady’s favor, samus is a girl AESTHETIC TAGS: DRAMATIC TIMING & GOOD HAIR.

FC INFO.

MAIN FC/S: mylene jampanoi. ALT FC/S: chloe bennet, mostly used in something more teenagery. OLDER FC/S: none YOUNGER FC/S: none VOICE CLAIM/S: jo wyatt. GENDERBENT FC/S: fuck off with ye

[houstonlocalus-blog]

Holistic Tips for Surviving Without Healthcare

  Good health is something all people strive for. But unfortunately, in today’s world, access to adequate healthcare to make said good health possible is often just out of reach. Even with Obamacare, which will perhaps not be along for very much longer if the Viagra-popping white walkers of the GOP get their way, premiums are still far too high. It goes without saying that the entire American healthcare system needs a massive reboot, but don’t hold your breath because that’s probably never going to happen. Maybe the best option for all of us is to just forgo traditional healthcare altogether and embrace the many natural medicines for better health that our dear flat earth offers us.

Not to mention, in the age of groundbreaking Internet publications like Goop, traditional healthcare is becoming so passé. Who needs to see a gynecologist when you can just store an energy realigning jade egg in your vagina? And who needs to see a psychiatrist when you can just realign your body’s energy frequency with wearable stickers that promote positivity and healing? Hell, who needs physical therapy when you can just wear a shirt with a positive affirmation on it?

It’s high time for all of us to say goodbye to the American healthcare system for good and embrace Hollywood’s trendy holistic approach to health maintenance. Forget Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, it’s time to join the Kardashians!

Here are some tips for maintaining your health the NATURAL way, at least until your body is destroyed beyond repair in a geopolitical conflict brought on by the effects of climate change.

  A Crystal A Day Keeps the Doctor Away:

For thousands of years people have been using crystals, which work through resonance and vibrations, to treat all kinds of illnesses. Crystals work by helping release spiritual, physical and mental blockages that cause ailments like testicular cancer, dementia and ALS. Every crystal vibrates at its own frequency and has its own unique healing attributes, so why not forgo health insurance altogether and turn the rock and mineral show into your new pharmacy?

I’ve been using quartz crystals, which help clear the mind, to treat my Bipolar Disorder for years, and it’s been working miracles on my delicate psyche! All I do is lube up a quartz crystal with coconut oil every morning and shove it up my anus, where it stays for the remainder of the day (also helps treat IBS). It goes without saying that it’s super hard to have a mood swing when you’re focusing all of your mental and physical energy on clinching your butthole tight enough to prevent the crystal you have shoved up your ass from falling to the floor and shattering into a million little pieces (Note: Do not put it back in if this happens).

Do you have Sickle Cell Anemia? Have you tried treating it with bloodstone, which can be worn around your neck as an amulet, instead of dangerous and unnatural big pharma-produced medications? Bloodstone works by helping to purify your blood, which ensures that your life force remains strong and healthy. This crystal is also a powerful energizer, so even if it doesn’t end up curing your disease it will at least give you the strength and enthusiasm to power through it!

Before you start using crystals to treat the many ailments caused by your inability to access adequate healthcare, it’s important to read up on how to appropriately charge them under the light of the moon. Every time there is a full moon, I place my assortment of medicinal crystals and stones in a bath of organic almond milk and let the moon do its magic to them. If almond milk isn’t your thing, you can also let your crystals soak in a vat of menstrual blood (no vegan option) or artisanal, small-batch kombucha. I’ve also heard of people treating gonorrhea (and super gonorrhea) by slathering their crystals in their discharge and then setting them out to soak up the moon’s healthful beams.

  The Healing Power of Turmeric:

A host of scientific studies have shown that turmeric is just about one of the healthiest things you can put into your system, and that’s why I put turmeric in absolutely everything. And by everything, I mean everything — eye drops, bandaids, enemas, tampons, contact solution, etc. There is literally nothing that a turmeric and apple cider vinegar cocktail cannot fix. Have makeup-induced acne? Try making a foundation out of turmeric and equal parts LaCroix (coconut flavor works best). Not only will you say goodbye to your acne, but you’ll get a healthy, sun-kissed glow to your skin that even Donald Trump will be jealous of. Want to take off that makeup at the end of the day (before inserting your favorite crystal into your butt for some deep REM sleep)? Just make your own makeup remover with equal parts rubbing alcohol and turmeric.

Turmeric can also be used for an amazing full-body cleanse to help with weight maintenance. I’ve only consumed turmeric mixed with natural spring water for the past two months and I’ve lost an astonishing 40 pounds. It works, believe me! I’m so skinny and waif-like now that the only clothes in my closet that I can still wear are my ohm-sign-printed drawstring yoga pants and a t-shirt I stole from an American Girl doll.

Turmeric, as a spice, can also be mixed with any type of food you can imagine. Getting bored with the strawberry chia pudding you eat for breakfast every morning? Try mixing a couple of tablespoons of turmeric into it. Are you totally over the orange and mango smoothie you drink every day at noon for a quick pick-me-up? Try throwing a cup of turmeric into and you’ll never want to miss a day without it again.

Turmeric is the Mother Teresa of spices — albeit without the coerced deathbed conversions — and absolutely everyone could use a bit more of it in their life.

  Coconut Oil For Every Ailment:

I remember watching the presidential election results trickle in on election day last November and wondering the whole time why liberals hadn’t gone out en masse the night before and rubbed coconut oil all over the damn polling stations. Coconut oil fixes everything! But they didn’t do that, hence we’re still here today with a shitty healthcare system and an increase in people being diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

Coconut oil can be used to treat a variety of ailments, including arthritis and diabetes. If you’re a diabetic, or know someone who is, you probably know that insulin is ridiculously expensive. One cost-saving measure is to cut your insulin with melted coconut oil. Not only will doing so allow you to stretch out your insulin supply, it will also give your pancreas a healthy glow (although you won’t be able to see it because it’s deep inside your body).

Everyone knows about the benefits of oil pulling, but have you tried oil pulling with your butt? I have, and it’s made my butthole much more pink and supple. All you do is douche with some melted coconut oil and then jump around your house for 20 minutes while trying to hold it in. It’s best to start with five minute sessions at the beginning, then start gradually increasing your hold time as your sphincter muscles start to bulk up.

Coconut oil can also be used to treat just about any skin condition under the sun. I suffer from eczema from time to time and treat it by coating my entire body in coconut oil then wrapping myself like a mummy in strips of hemp cloth. And hey, if it’s Halloween no one will even know why you’re doing it!

  The Ancient Art Of Smudging:

Everyone knows that smudging with sage is one of the best ways to rid your home of evil spirits and negative energy, but did you know you can use the method to treat your body as well? Inhaling massive quantities of sage smoke has actually been proven to help treat a variety of respiratory illnesses, including asthma and bronchitis.

And guess what? Sage smoke can also be used to help you quit smoking cigarettes. It actually works! Instead of smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, I now just clambake under a hemp blanket with a burning sprig of sage every day for a couple of hours. Not only is this great for your lungs, it also helps you rid yourself of addictive behavior. And according to an article I read in an online anti-vaxxer publication, this is also one of the best way to cure small pox in small children.

Not convinced? You can’t knock it until you try it yourself!

  Nature Is the Best Medicine:

Nature truly is the best medicine. Everyone struggles with depression from time to time, but people often don’t realize that deep, spiraling depression can actually be cured by just walking in a park for about 20 minutes a day. Who want’s to feel sad when there are so many flowers to pick and squirrels to become friends with? Squirrels are so silly and cute to watch! Not to mention, it’s been scientifically proven that looking at trees for at least 10 minutes a day can help rebalance the serotonin levels in your brain. Are you in need of knee replacement surgery? Have you tried just going on a brisk jog every day by a picturesque lake? Have arthritis in your hands? Maybe you should just try painting landscapes every day in a natural forest for a week or so. I’m positive that will fix the problem!

We live in such a big and beautiful world, and it’s a damn shame that sick and housebound people don’t go outside more often to smell the roses. The whole earth is basically a giant Bob Ross painting, so why not go out and explore it more. It’s good for you!

    DISCLAIMER:  This is a satirical article. That being so, please do not attempt any of the actions listed in it. 

Holistic Tips for Surviving Without Healthcare this is a repost