#I NEED TO WASH MY WORK CLOTHES!
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they upgrade the washing machine system which means we have to download a new app > works okay for a few weeks > suddenly stops working and won't let me start the machine > start live web chat with some poor soul (live web chat. to wash my clothes.) > they tell me the app im using (the app the accomodation literally told us to get) "isn't in use in your building" despite it working like a week ago > i become a screaming banshee full of fire and rage wreaking havoc upon the whole earth and in particular upon whichever miserable little cunt decided we should have apps and bluetooth for communal laundry instead of good old analogue coins and buttons . Jesus christ
#I NEED TO WASH MY WORK CLOTHES!#AND I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS IN THIS CITY WHOSE WASHING MACHINE I COULD BORROW!#BECAUSE I'M A LOSER !#anyway [redacted] student accommodation in [redacted] are a deeply unserious organisation. avoid at all costs !
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every day i must choose not to turn evil
#‧₊🧛🏻♀️˚⊹ ashi rambles#my apt complex’s dryers are broke and i didn’t know so i washed my clothes#only to find out#and now i have to sit in the laundromat for an hour cus I need my clothes for work tonight 🙂#sob i’ve been working so much i just want dilly dallying time
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My goal is to wash my bedding today and clean the bathroom and then tomorrow I’m gonna go through my clothes and bag up what I don’t wear anymore. And get my room back in order
#it’s… bad#not like dirty#there’s just books everywhere#and paper bags from work#and I need to put away my clothes lol#working in an apparel department means I hate dealing with my own clothes#so after I wash them they sit in a clean clothes pile
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The Mountain Goats duster!! It’s wonky, I’ll fix it someday but for now I live on the joy of having made it and worn it and experienced such a concert in October. The mountain goats have become so special to me in so many ways & I hope to see them again and make another piece! I love this duster, it was made in I think ? 3 days? 2 days? Somewhere between there, hence the messy wonky finish (I need to technically frog the one side and redo it bc in my haste /whatever I made it longer somehow?) so I’d say pretty impressive. There’s a sneak peak in the last photo of a rapidly approaching deadline for another piece I’m hoping to finish bc if I do. It’s gonna be so slay.
#the mountain goats#crochet#I love this duster I don’t care if it’s wonky who cares#I need to wash it tho so I’ll wear it actually#but I’m waiting for my crochet /delicate clothes to pile up before I wash bc#my pieces can’t go in the general clothes#the piece I’m working on now is so fun !
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it should not fucking be allowed to have your laundry machines be operated by an app only im so mad
the shit isnt working and theres nothing else i can do
#jo mews#no coin slot no nothing bro wtf do i do now#got laundry detergent all over my clothes and 2 loads that need to be washed#and no car#always gotta be a fuckin sunday when theres no one in the office too#and no time to wait til it gets fixed bc the work week starts tomorrow#jesus fuck#one of these days i'll learn to check that its working before i put my shit in#but still. it should not work this way
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CONGRATS ALFONSE FIRE EMBELM YOU ARE SO EPIC AND SO COOL FOREVER‼️‼️‼️‼️🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💘💓💝💞💝💗💘💖💘💓💘💖💕💕💞💖💝💖💞💗💖💖💝💕💝💖💝💕💕💝💝
Plus some zoom ins of the most worked on panels, slightly better lighting maybe hopefully 😅
And of course
The micro organism (about a pinky small)
#fire emblem#feh#it's tough! esp the way i've been coloring sharena and alfonse's to an extent skintones lately#i really don't want them to get washed out ....#i also really wanna know if this combo looks good. the more heavy/worked illusts w the one layer almost soft coloring#on the less focal point panels#i think it has a neat effect actually. you can really see how heavy i layer/work the pencils for fuller illusts#and also kept to just doing hair/facial features. some clothes details. but the bare minimum#if i did the skin it would be so over . i'm layering the fuck out of that. though obvs for darker skin tones#i'd find a way to incorporate it into that simplier style 🫡#REGARDLESS. artist talk aside#a very special very loving and affectionate hearty congrats to mr alfonse fire emblem for winning cyl!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🥺🥺🥺#i need to eat him.#i'm putting him in my mouth#chewing on him#forever.#fe alfonse#sharena#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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depression rant-
I know fault very much lies within me so I really shouldn't be in my feelings over it. But for two years in a row I've had multiple times where I've gone weeks without being at work and thus not seeing my usual irl friends cause I'm not at work but then also like no one ever reaches out.
and I'm not sure how to get over this hurddle. but I feel like my ability to interact with people irl and online has deteriorated a lot the past few years. i dunno if I can really just blame the depression either. it really sucks feeling so incredibly lonely and yet feeling so stuck.
I miss having close friends I actually talked to almost every day and knew things about their lives instead of just the occasional video we share back and forth cause it made us think of eachother. I feel like I don't have anything much to offer up in way of friendship and maybe that's why? cause I don't do much of anything interesting to share out about my day. and then don't ascribe the right amount of enthusiasm when others share about their stuff because my brain defaults to judgement or pessimism because of how unhappy I am in my own life and so I just hermit myself away and become even more lonely
but I still get up and go to work. get bills paid. and talk about how I'm trying to make changes for the better to my irl companions except as soon as I get home I just doomscroll and rot on my bed so much. like I feel like folks irl don't realize just how bad my depression is cause last time it was really bad I almost got on probation at work and was told by the higher ups that maybe I'm not cutout for this type of work- just because I was fairly stressed about the state of the world and how it was impacting us as a federal agency.
I don't even know the point of typing this all here except I just want to put it out in the world even though I feel like it's not going to help anything at all
#nat rants#sometimes i really think i could die in my apartment and no one could know for days#unless i was supposed to come into work or something#but let it be during my furloughs or holiday#no one would know until we came back to work#things for therapy#i really need to find one#i keep saying this and then will i look up one#probably not cause i couldnt even get my act together to pack clothes#for this week long work trip i leave on in morning#or even shower let alone wash and twist my hair beforehand
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Yall know whats crazy? I grew up in an actual haunted house lmao. Most of my friends wont even come over to my moms house now a days. My roommate hates it there
The phone is literally not plugged in to anything (it’s an older style that isnt wireless) and it will ring. And I mean it’s not plugged into the phone line or power.
Old clock chimes. Never mind that the chimes r just sitting in it not strung up.
Locked out? But that door is a deadbolt?
Ah yes the person who is standing in the kitchen looking out the window. Never mind that the sink and counter are in the way. (Got a photo of this one but the ghost only remained in it for a year before it disappeared)
Foot steps behind u in the hall? Don’t use the end bathroom then cause u will have no privacy. One of my friends had the door open then close while he was in there smh.
Random shadow hand covering up tour phone screen? Time to leave.
Don’t bring keyboards in this house if you aren’t ready to see them type. Don’t being computers if you don’t like the blue screen.
Do not sleep here unless you are ready to sleep like a coma so the ghost can’t wake you up at 2am.
Do not be here unless you are ready to be watched and never alone ( menacingly)
#no joke yall#she had a wireless phone that kept ringing so I took the battery out of it and it still kept ringing#I got locked out for hours then it let me back in once it got dark#ghost said go play outside child smh#the grounds are spooky too btw#the woods call to me#they say shes here help her she needs your help#and I listen but never go#sometimes#I am literally sitting jn my car outside my moms house too scared to go in but I was washing clothes here and I have to go in snd get them#for work#smh why wont anyone pick up my phone calls so I can have support with me
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suddenly overwhelmed with longing for kazui mukuhara
#kazuiloveposting#I NEED TO BE DOMESTIC WITH HIM SO BAD ARGJHHHHHHHHH#i wanna get home from work and he's sitting there on the sofa and he looks so beautiful and he smiles at me witha loving look#hes got casual clothes on and hes so gorgeous and divine and i feel so relieved as i look at him. like i wasnt truly home until i saw him#i wanna cuddle and watch tv and talk about my day and eat bad takeout because we didnt wash the dishes#uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu#BUT NO. hes in stupid jail and im in the stupid 3D world. fuck#i want him so bad. just like to have. and to hold. i want him in my life#SIGHHH one day I'll have an actual bf... i can't imagine they'll ever come close to kaz but oh well... gotta keep on hoping 💪😪
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on another note
#4-5ish months i’ve been the main (i’m pretty sure only) person cleaning every weekend#my only days off and through the week clean dishes or load up the washer and pick them up#occasionally someone else w load it but not pick up or vice verse#november i lost all motivation i ask for help i get told they’re tired or they work or later or im met w but i did xyz the other day blah bl#blah blah yk#i tried to clean in nov but i just can’t im tired it’s constant that im cleaning i want to do things not go from work to home for chores to#also cook and then clean up dinner because i also have a job#and when i do something im not like OH well i did xyz! so i won’t do that …no i just say okay because why bring up what i already did things#need to be done why are you arguing with me like we want to bring up receipts? i’ll bring them up#i’m cleaning up clothes that’s not mine i’m cleaning up shit piss ans throw up of a dog that is not mine i walk said dog occasionally#but nope not the other way around why would they do any of that when it’s not theirs ?#i ask them to pick one day to make dinner nope i can’t i’m busy i have xyz …okay i have work gym appts errands too#and since i have cleaned in like a month or over it’s a mess but no one has taken action to fix that it’s just it’s messy in here#that’s why i hate if you need help ask. .#I ASK I DONT GET HELP you ask i help but god forbid i ask#‘but you clean weird’ ‘you do a deep clean’ it’s a regular clean i clean to clean not to light dust and see it be back to how it was in a#day or two. deep clean is i’m up in a ladder cleaning the vents cleaning cabinets shelves i can’t regularly reach or are hard to get to and#honestly that should be a monthly thing#weekly is wipe down appliances. sweep swiffer vacuum and mop the floors. wipe countertops and flat surfaces. flip the chairs around tighten#bolts wash the tablecloth clean the table. vacuum the couches lint roll any cloth surfaces. clean or wipe down the stove/microwave depending#on how dirty. clean bathroom tub toilet sink floors mirror. this is not a deep clean w that you get the fridge and dishwasher windows move t#the furniture to clean under that. i am tired and i dont ever get to finish everything#bathroom stays last and weekends are only so long i also go to the gym or need to go to the store or have ot to do#and ik i brought up here that im depressed but im not bring that up to them because regardless these things need to get done be it a the#worlds slowest pace but does need to happen and i don’t want to use that as an excuse because i will just let myself lay in bed and not show#shower or move does this mentality eat away at me maybe idk but it’s what my parents gave me and it’s not changing i don’t think so here we#are.#we can wait another month and i might be on the up but ill be down again so 🤷♀️#like actually i can use a lot of things as an excuse but that doesn’t help anyone does it ?
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I think I succeed in not being a horrible pedant on other people’s fanart of historical fiction, but oh boy is it directed at myself!!!
#room needs to make sense in context materials need to be appropriate furnishings appropriate for time place and context#if I draw an inappropriate wash pitcher They will Get me#I’m just as bad with clothes but I have a better grounding in them#as opposed to all material culture…#my blather#tbh I’m still a pedant with other ppl’s work but I simply do not provide unsolicited critique#plus greater benefit of the doubt that they know better than me
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people who enter their adult life and don't care or outright refuse to learn how to cook are incomprehensible individuals
#latino men will be pushing 40 and they have their moms packing them lunch every day and washing their clothes and folding it and ironing it#so they can go to work and they have the fucking nerve to say women nowadays are all lazy cunts who don't want to work and just#want to live off of child support? so concerned to point out how useless other people are when they are the first on the list#one of my roommates grew up with money so she had a domestic employee all her life who cooked her meals and she says cooking is#something she's just not interested in ever learning. first of all of course she would say this stupid ass shit#second of all the thought she has that her financial situation is always and forever going to remain good for her to#not ever worry about food because she thinks she'll always have the funds to delegate that to someone else is so. it is sooooo#and this is without bringing up the fact that she wants to remain incapable of ever doing anything for herself ever because she doesn't#ever. EVEEEER. help us clean the apartment#okay sorry I got derailed by bitterness lol I need to move out#txt.me
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doing laundry but at what a cost
#the cost is getting up early and going before work instead of getting an extra hour and a half of sleep#fucked if true#in unit laundry is a need for whereever i move next#its even more important than a dishwasher. at least u dont have to leave home to wash ur dishes by hand.#im soooo sleepy but i am also out of clothing and my scrubs are all dorty and i wouldnt have another chance to do a wash until the weekend#and i Hate going to the laundromat on thr weekend#im braver than the us marines for this#whatever the fuck
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can't wait until my brother moves out next month
#he has no concept of sharing he's all individual. wanting to be alone in the living room when he's been down there all day and taking up#all the space and time in the kitchen despite knowing I haven't been able to cook. he's acting like he already fucking lives alone#like I know my presence never really matters especially not to him but jesus fucking christ#and he's only working five days out of the next two weeks. god I need him gone call us both selfish. I told him to tell me when he'll#need clothes and I'll have them ready for him but he ignored me so honestly nevermind. I'll just wash mine & anything he wants#done he can do it himself. forgive my bitterness I can't stand how much he can't stand me and how he's been treating my dad#like he's the laziest person ever because he hasn't fixed a damn door yet. my dad with a cracked spine and chronic pain#he's just the most ridiculously selfish person ever & I love him he's my brother but I can't live with him for much longer#praying for his future patients. take care of yourselves some of the most evil people I know are studying psychology etc#log
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Im having such third world adult problems lmao the water has been murky for weeks now bc of the rain and i gotta wash my clothes but…. The water isnt clear enough……. And i didnt think to let a couple buckets clear yesterday so i could wash today…………….
#man…….#its my whites im worried about :(#what do i do?#i really need to wash my clothes for work 😔#personal#rambles#also i just tought thats the water ive been showering and washing my dishes with…….#but who even has the money to get clear purified water for that?#and at least i have running water! the other week i was without for like 5 days
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...
#i hate trying to pack when i'm legit moving because like. i need stuff??#i've had most everything packed for a week but i have to like. wear clothes and use my laptop and take my meds and brush my teeth#so there's all this little stuff that just has to stay out and get in the way#and i can't even wash the clothes i have to wear on the last two days because because my dryer doesn't work so I have to pack those dirty#seriously considering just picking an outfit i'm not too attached to so i can toss in the trash instead of having to resuffle my luggage#anyway#two more days#moving drama#personal
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