#I MISS WRITING WAAHHH

[hunterbunter3000]

ok so I've had this in my memory for ages and i can so imagine Sweetheart having this as a tattoo on her back, like the angel wings tattoos that are the complete length of your back so and the crescent on her neck like oml like its barely visible from under her shirts and it just makes her neck look that much more delectable plus the contrast from the womb tattoo to the angel like wings is a sight to see, makes the boys go feral (especially soap once he sees it, he didn't notice before cuz he was too short lol)

IM GOING FERALLLLL

THIS IS AMAZING FOR SWEETS HOLY COW

The original idea was that she was going to have two pieces, high and low tattoos, the low one was something like this:

But then I scrapped that, and she was just gonna have a regular back tattoo (like a big one or one in the middle of her back), and it was gonna be something like this:

B U T that changed and the new idea was that the back tattoo was traveling on her body, like coming to her collarbone and neck, and coming down her arms (which is talked about in the 18+ Gaz ask), something like this:

BUT GOOODDDDDD YOURS IS SO SICK GREMLIN

Like I can see her getting it because a friend told her that it'll look so cool, not telling her what it means. (As you said, it looks like angel wings) and then that friend dies, not telling her the meaning. (Her friend told her to get it because Sweetheart is like an angel)

Sfw

(Just kinda sensual teehee)

Cw.: biblical talk (angels), so much praise, overstimulation (sweets cries), bit of angst and feels, (idk if this counts as angst? I'm still learning what's angst and what's not😭) soap is so down bad he's speaking in Scottish Gaelic-- it's translated by Google so I'm sorry beforehand! He talks so damn much, I went overboard 💀 the translation is at the end!

So skip ahead to the now, she's taking care of some wounds she got from a mission, with her shirt off and hair down, wrapping her ankle with concentrated eyes. She doesn't hear Soap knock on her door, and she doesn't hear his little gasp. She also doesn't hear him walk slowly towards her, but she does feel thick, warm fingers move some of her hair and trail down her back. She jolts, turning around abruptly. Her tense shoulders relax, seeing it's only her best friend.

She needs to be more vigilant.

"Jeez, Soap," She chuckles, "You scared me."

His eyes are wide, skin flushed with pink and breaths uneven.

"Tha mi duilich..." he mutters breathlessly. Sweetheart cocks an eyebrow. "Whatcha say?" Soap sucks in a breath and closes his eyes tightly. It's like he's telling himself something.

"Sorry, I'm - I said I'm sorry." Sweetheart nods, "Oh, that's cool! Is that like- Gaelic or somethin'?" Soap nods as if he's in a trance, eyes still focused on her back. Her glowing, hunched over back with the mark of an angel. It has to be. Different scars align on her skin, some in different lengths, some overlapping others, and many that are jagged.

But the beauty of the tattoo is still relevant.

Sweetheart calls out his name softly to get his attention but fails. His mind is hazy, and too many thoughts going through him. The waves of heat pulse on his skin and insides as he gets closer to her back.

Sweetheart doesn't feel comfortable, but she doesn't feel uncomfortable at the same time. She sees him get on his knees and reaches out for her, but freezes. He turns his head and shuts his eyes again, having mental turmoil with his actions. He stares into her eyes, asking her if he can touch it. Feel it.

Admire it.

Her eyes flutter, looking back at him one last time, she shifts her hair to one side, combing the curls with her hand, showing more of the tattoo that goes up to the nape of her neck and around her shoulders. Her actions speak a million words to him.

You can touch it. But please, be gentle.

She hears him whine- whine-- and his palms are clamping on her back immediately.

"Tha e cho breagha. Fuck, bidh thu mar bhàs dhomh, leanabh." His hand slides around to her tummy, tracing the heart to her womb tattoo since he remembers where it's located, engraved- burned-- into his memory. "Ach bheir thu air ais beò mi le seo," His voice is but a whisper over her back, the woman confused if he's talking to her or the tattoo. She feels plush lips where the blade is located. Oh god--

He's kissing it.

Sweetheart shivers, a whiny moan bubbling in her throat, but she covers her mouth with her shaky hand. She hears him mumble Gaelic again, but it doesn't feel like he's talking bad about it. It feels good, warm. Like he's praising it.

Worshipping it.

His other hand feels her skin all over her side, up her back till he reaches her shoulder. "Bha fios agam gu robh thu a 'falach rudeigin fo na turtlenecks sin, brèagha. Bha an corp seo an-còmhnaidh a’ falach rudeigin. Air do ghualainn," His fingers trail on the lines of the angel-like wings, "Air do ghualainn," They snake upwards and around, the pads feeling the bumps of scars and the outline of ink. "Suas do mhuineal."

Sweetheart whimpers, shivering under his touch. Her shoulders cave in, and she bends more forward. She feels his lips trail up her heated skin, wet with love and praise from the scotsman. She knew he loved her tattoos that she showed him, but she never thought he would do something like this.

Did he really like them that much? Did he really like her that much?

Soaps breath shudders on the halo, feeling her goosebumps form and hairs sticking up, hands raking up and down the spiked angel wings.

"Tha mi a’ guidhe nach do dh’fhalaich thu uam, a ghràidh. Tha gaol agam oirbh uile, agus chan atharraich sin gu bràth."

"I'm- I'm sorry...?" Why is she apologizing? She felt like she needed to apologize for something she did but didn't understand what he said. She was going to speak again, but the gentle lull of his shushing in her ear stopped her.

"Òr 's a tha mise air do chràdh agus an dubh a tha air do chorp naomh. Tha am peant dubh maireannach a th’ agad a’ toirt ort coimhead ethereal. Fuck, chan eil fhios agam carson a tha thu a’ còmhdach seo. Bidh thu a’ faighinn cho togarrach rium a h-uile uair a thig thu faisg orm, agus a bhith faicinn an ealain a th’ agad air do bhodhaig na urram ann fhèin. Tha do bhòidhchead tarraingeach, aingil. Chan eil fios agad dè an ìre de chumhachd a tha agad thairis air na fir a tha a 'coiseachd air an talamh seo."

If he keeps going, she's gonna pass out at this rate.

His growly, Scottish drawl always made Sweetheart heat up and melt. But this - this carnal, whispering preaching onto her skin - it's too much, overflowing her cup to the point that it spills all over the floor.

"Mar a chuirinn seachad mo làithean uile ag innse dhut mar a tha thu mar thiodhlac bho na nèamhan. Cha bhithinn leisg a dhol air mo ghlùinean agus mo dhìlseachd gu lèir a thoirt dhut a h-uile latha." He mumbles, lips talking against her skin like he's muttering scriptures to the ink.

With his blue eyes half-lidded, his hands slide down her shoulder blades and back up, his touch so gentle like feathers and silk, down to the small of her back, where the blade ends.

"Tha mi a’ guidhe nach do dh’fhalaich thu uam, a ghràidh. Tha gaol agam oirbh uile, agus chan atharraich sin gu bràth."

"Johnny..." Sweetheart calls out, mysterious want laced in her voice. She doesn't know why he acts like her tattoos are sacred. She doesn't know why she feels tears forming. Her eyes flutter back when his thumbs massage her hips.

He hums, "An ann air sgàth sin a fhuair thu seo? A chionn gu bheil thu bho na nèamhan? Tha e ciallach nam biodh tu. Archangel, a 'stiùireadh shaighdearan gu cogadh le do bhall-airm, ceannardas, agus làmh an uachdair."

Her breath hitches. Archangel?

Why did he say that?

He thinks she's an angel? One of the heavenly hosts, a dispenser of justice and bringer of hope.

Oh my God.

If he thinks that she's like an archangel, then that's the best compliment she has ever gotten.

She feels tears coming down her cheeks, the heavy feeling in her head and warmth coursing through her veins. She remembers when her old high school friend from home told her to get this piece as a tattoo since she had trouble figuring out what to get. She was so excited, kept asking her every day what it meant or what significance it had with Sweetheart, but all she kept saying was, "You'll figure it out."

Sweetheart asked sporadically when her friend was in the hospital. Her answer was always the same.

Sweetheart stopped asking completely when her friend was buried next to her family. She didn't give an answer anymore.

She covers her mouth again to stop a choked sob, tears streaming down her face.

Her friend knew.

"Fiù 's nuair a tha thu air do dhòrtadh ann am fuil an nàmhaid, tha thu fhathast a' seasamh àrd ann an neart, misneachail, nad ghlòir gu lèir. A ’coimhead thairis air a h-uile duine, a’ cuideachadh neach sam bith ann an fheum leis a ’ghàire radanta sin."

Soap knows.

"Ged nach fhaicear do sgiathan, bidh iad fhathast a 'deàrrsadh fon t-solas a tha a' gluasad bho do shàil. An dòchas agus an gaol a bheir thu do dhaoine ... bheir e orm tuiteam air do shon eadhon nas motha a h-uile uair."

And now Sweetheart knows.

He kisses her shoulders, neck, and spine- all the way down to the tip of the blade. He could kiss this skin forever, hearing her soft moans and whimpers. Soap hears her little hiccups and moves to face her. He tenderly cups her jaw and slowly lifts, seeing her big, glistening eyes look up at him. Her damp cheeks, creased eyebrows, and wobbling bottom lip melts his heart. He looks at her with such fondness and love in his eyes, Sweetheart is sure that she will pass away. He brushes her hair out of her face as if she's made out of the finest china.

"Oh, mo ghràidh, mo leannan."

He cranes his neck down, soft swollen lips meeting her forehead. Sweetheart's eyes close, clumped with tears, leaning into his kiss and clutching his hand.

"Mo aingeal dìon."

꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱

Translation:

It's so beautiful. Fuck, you'll be the death of me, baby. But you'll bring me back to life with this. I knew you were hiding something under those turtlenecks, beautiful. This body was always hiding something. On your shoulders... Up your neck. I wish you didn't hide from me, my love. I love you all, and that will never change.

You have nothing to apologize for, my darling, my heart. Words can not describe how much I ache for you and the ink that's on your holy body. The black permanent paint you have makes you look ethereal. Fuck, I don't know why you cover this. You get me so excited every time you come near me, and to see the art you have on your body is an honor in itself. Your beauty is alluring, angelic. You don't know how much power you hold over the men that walk this earth.

How I would spend all my days telling you how you're a gift from the heavens. I would not hesitate to get on my knees and give my devotion to you every day.

Hmm, is that why you got this? Because you're from the heavens? It makes sense if you were. An archangel, guiding soldiers into war with your weapon, leadership, and dominant hand.

Even when drenched in the enemy's blood, you still stand tall in strength, confident, in all your pretty glory. Watching over everyone, helping anyone in need with that radiant smile.

Even though your wings are not seen, they still shine under the light that radiates from your halo. The hope and love you give people... it makes me fall for you even more every time.

My dear, my sweetheart.

My guardian angel.

Bonus.!

Bruh, I totally blocked out the others HAHA

They haven't seen it yet, but Soap boasts about it 24/7. He described it the best he can without giving anything away. But he talks consistently that he saw it and he touched it and-- other stuff.

He doesn't tell his team that he practically went to church on her back tattoo, but he sees how jealous they got so that's good enough for him. Thank God Krueger doesn't know.

[ofhope]

Teeth click against a hollow backdrop, taste of an old drink raw on his tongue. Used to screams, footfall and glasses shattering, his senses were nearly knocked askew with normality. At this, his hold faltered, gun twisting 'round his index before saddling back into its holster, a spill of laughter slipping from the criminal's mouth. Intoxication wasn't to blame, long since having lost the ability, but oh did the cockiness make him feel light. Few folks, when faced with lead 'n a criminal worth millions dead or alive, wouldn't have withstood any nerve they could've fostered, and now? Boothill was given dinner, a show, and a name crossed his list.

"Guess yer' not. Pardon the assumption, lotta' folks think I'm battin' for the wrong team. Taking out innocent civilians, breaking up families. They waste no time tryin' to turn me in, but between you 'n me? Most want that hefty promise of enough credits to drag you outta' debt just to throw you back in. You look about as well off as me, so it begged the question: if I was worth takin' out."

Gears sufficiently lubricated and mind far from dizzied, Boothill crossed the bar, chose the stool directly separate of the stranger's own, and made himself cozy -- the furniture underneath squealing in displeasure. Normally, the scene would've been left, never fled; Boothill made it obvious who executed who, cared not for any straying eyes or definitive portraits meant to sketch out a no-good-doer. Many knew his attributes, unique and not. Many knew his tongue, how sometimes his words flowed behind when spoken. Repeated on a cloudy day. Knew the click and hiss of his muscles, the exhaust let off behind him, heck - even knew his name, the one adopted after death.

Should he want to waste some time, who'd tell a dead man no? Who had the guts to face a murderer? Not many, if his record of 0 still stood tall after today.

"I like the ink. You a mortician 'er somethin'?" NO THREAT INDICATED, "Maybe you deal in putting 'em in the ground rather than prettying them up for it," a glance toward his back - an intricate weapon, sat proudly on broad shoulders - NO THREAT INDICATED, "You here for the same thing as me? Or did I jus' get lucky, stumbling upon the one citizen in the multiverse not wantin' to turn a guy like me in?" NO THREAT INDICATED.

... Fudge. He mess up an update or something? How did he look at a weapon, brought by an imposing stranger in a dingy bar on the side of nowhere, and not receive immediate alarm bells?

Boothill never stayed this long. Never bothered to.

"You don't seem the type to drown yer' sorrows."

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇, 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  coated in venom and whiskey fumes. Law listened, his expression unreadable, save for the faint narrowing of his eyes at the mention Corporate greed. Ruined lives. A trail of corpses left to rot in the name of misplaced justice. His thoughts moved swiftly, analyzing the gaps in this individual's story, weighing the truth against the bravado. The flicker of something familiar—a disdain for the corrupt, the entitled, the careless - but it was tempered by his natural skepticism. Was this cowboy just another self-styled vigilante with a hero complex, or was there more beneath the surface? a cold calculative golden gaze lingered on this man as though peeling back layers of flesh and metal to examine beneath. His mind flicked to the many wanted posters that carried his own face, plastered across towns. cities. and could remember the details of his description from the IPC's wanted list. not like it was his business to begin with. he had his fair share of .. events that lead to his name there   — law's  already  ever-present  frown seems  to  deepen  further,  the  tiredness  beneath  his  eyes  accentuated  by  the current situation.  Law’s silhouette cut an imposing figure; long legs crossed at the knee, one gloved hand resting on the hilt of Kikoku at his side. His hat, with its spotted brim, cast a faint shadow over his sharp features, but his piercing gold-amber eyes gleamed from beneath it, steady and unflinching as they fixed on the man. Those eyes, flecked with the barest hint of irritation, scanned Boothill with the precision of a surgeon preparing for an incision—taking note of the sloppiness in his movements, the bravado in his speech, the glint of recklessness in his antics.

The click of metal against his temple had drawn no immediate reaction, save for a faint arch of his brow. his choice of words were . . . unique.  It was neither the first time he’d been threatened in such a manner, nor would it be the last. His vitiligo-marked skin, pale but speckled with the distinct patches around his hands and neck, contrasted with the darker ink of tattoos snaking up his forearms, his fingers adorned with the letters "𝑫 𝑬 𝑨 𝑻 𝑯" as if to punctuate the point that HE was no ordinary traveler. The sunlight  from the bar’s grimy window caught the edge of his earrings—small gold loops swaying slightly as he tilted his head and let out a slow,  exhale through his nose.

 ❝ Southern hospitality . .  ❞  he repeated, his voice low and even, ❝ Is that what this is supposed to be? A gun to the temple and a lecture about morality ? ❞ The syllables rolled off his tongue with a measured cadence - He watched the cowboy hop behind the bar with an indifferent expression, The glint of whiskey catching the light drew his attention briefly. He watched the amber liquid swirl in Boothill's glass, the way the man handled it—reckless, with a swagger born of arrogance and an unshakable belief in his own narrative. Law didn’t need the cowboy's long-winded tirade to dissect the man's motivations; it was all there, plain as day, in his posture, his tone, and the way his fingers drummed a restless cadence against the bottle’s neck. That bottle, alone, was worth the price of a decent meal. Law's hand twitched, almost instinctively, ready to reach for the weapon at his side. but he hesitated. His instincts, honed over the years, told him to cut the man's heart out. It was an instinct he had long since learned to tame.

For the moment, at least.

❝ Rat you out ? ❞  he echoed, his voice now laced with quiet venom. The question lingered in the air, an unspoken challenge. ❝ Do I look like someone who would sell you out to the nearest bounty hunter?  ❞  he scoffed, inked fingers flexed at his side, knuckles cracking audibly as his grip on Kikoku tightened. pierced lips pressed into a thin line. as if a wanted man would be so foolish to apporach the people seeking them out. ❝ So, no. I won't run. But if you plan on starting a shoot-out, make sure you don’t miss  ❞

It was a clear threat. Law's patience was running thin, but he had no intention of escalating things further. At least, not unless the cowboy made the first move.

[leonsthunderthighs]

Chapstick

WAAHHH I MISSED WRITING SO MUCH AND I MISSED YOU GUYS. Literally don't know what happened- I guess I got hit by a HARD writers block </3 I'm hoping I'll continue to write more often. (Also this story has been sitting in my drafts so I cleaned it but if you see any mistakes, no you don't)

☆RE4 Remake Leon Era!

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Leon relaxed on the couch with an arm behind his head and a book in his spare hand. His calm blue eyes shifted along the lines taking in every word on the pages as his blonde brows slightly furrowed in concentration. Strands of his hair were highlighted from the soft yellow and orange hues from the open windows. The warm sunlight kept the house perfectly lit as it highlighted the pages. It captivated him, seeing the ink within the paper form into intricate images as if it was all right there in front of him. The words guiding his thoughts, from day to night and characters exchanging words within simple quotation marks.

His focus was broken once he heard a familiar voice speak up to him.

"Wanna try somethin'?

You asked with a mischievous smile pursed on your lips. Leon's gaze shifted on you clearly hiding something from him behind your back.

"Hm, depends on what you have in mind." He said with a smile slowly matching yours, he places down his book with the pages against the table, saving the story for later. He shifted his legs allowing you to sit in front of him, but tempted to have you sit on his lap letting you as close to him as possible. Leon watched you sit in front of him in curiosity, wondering what you're planning in that head of yours.

"Alright, I put on different chapsticks and you have to guess the flavor for each one." You explained, keeping each flavor hidden behind you.

"Do I get hints?" He asked raising a brow, his delicate gaze watched you attentively.

"Hmm, I'll think about it. Now close your eyes, and don't even think about peeking." He chuckled quietly as he obeyed you and closed his eyes, keeping his smug smile on his face. You leaned closer to his face, but took your time purely admiring his serene state. His features were perfectly structured, the height of his cheekbones, the dark circles under his eyes making the blues more iridescent, the small freckles on his cheeks and his pretty lips that always has something smart to say.

The both of you sat at such an intimate proximity, his hands comfortably rested on your knees as your smile grew more eager.

Your lips drew closer together letting the space between you grew smaller, enough for him to catch the familiar scented chapstick lingering around your lips.

"Thats my cherry chapstick."

You sucked your teeth and wiped your lips with the collar of your shirt.

"That was the easy one, how about this one?" You followed the same process with a different chapstick as Leon kept his eyes closed. His thumbs mindlessly rubbed circular patters against your skin as the feeling made you smile. Every fiber of his being wanted to kiss you, but he didn't want to use his hint already and besides, this little game you had was quickly growing on him.

"Watermelon?"

He cocked his head to the side slightly as his brows furrowed a bit. The flavor felt awfully familiar, recognizing the sweet smell.

"Mhm but you'll never guess this one." Your lips met the collar of your shirt again as you evenly applied a new balm across your smile.

The sweet scent enticed him, his lips barely brushing against yours but your hands resting on his shoulders held him back, making him groan.

"It would count as your hint baby," you spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. He could practically feel your smug grin against his eager ones.

"I need a hint."

Leon's voice was small as his lips parted, waiting with bated breaths. Your hands rose to the back of his head running your fingers through his sandy blonde strands of hair. His hair wasn't coarse or rough, instead it was soft and cared for. You loved playing with his hair and everytime you did, Leon would simply melt in your touch and hum in content as you would brush your fingers through his hair.

Ardently Leon pressed his lips against yours and took everything in. This one had a much different smell and taste than the others, it was less sharp than cherry but held a different sweetness than watermelon, yet it felt vaguely familiar.

Your lips separated leaving Leon deep in thought.

"Did you get it?" Your words gave his skin goosebumps, making his eyes flutter open. He focused his senses on the flavor lingering on his lips and the scent of the balm around his nose as if he was reading ink on paper, forming some sort of idea of what it could be in his head.

"I don't know, I've never tasted that one before..." Leon's gaze focused on your peachy lips as you spoke. His voice was at a volume only you could hear, as they were only for you.

"It's strawberry sweetheart"

"I think it might be my favorite one"

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[actualbird]

Once again I have just woken up and saw a new fic from you and read it and I am going to Scream

God the basement incident. Reading about it in the game felt like getting hit by a ton of bricks and reading your interpretation of the events that led up to it feels worse. I hate how well you conveyed the slowly growing tension and worry as Giann realises Marius is missing and can't find him anywhere. God, the kids who did it were so young too. At most 10 years old and already having nearly killed one of their cousins. I never realised how horrifying the implications were until now.

I really like the ice and cold theme that's present throughout the fic. While Marius was hit with the physical sensation of the coldness of the basement, it manifests in Giann as his mental state. It's such a good way to show how that incident impacted them both and tie Giann's feelings back to that incident in a more tangible way. The chill of that basement never really left him, even though it's been long enough for the seasons to change and to be outwardly warm.

Giann shouldering all of this on his own bevause of how busy his father is...Man

Bringing in Giann and Marius' mom too oh my god the way he feels like he failed her because he failed to protect and take care of Marius in that incident and now needs to make up for it...

That last paragraph hurts so much knowing that Giann is missing now. How must he be feeling, knowing that he once again can't be there for his brother when he needs him?

God this fic hurt so much, I think this might be the most angst I've read from your work since "and I feel my past regrets slipping into present tense". Excellent fic, I love your portrayal of Giann so much and I love the way you wrote about how the basement incident impacted him. Honestly, this might be one of my favourite fics you've written.

🌌

wAAHHH good morning milkyway, thank you for reading "growing pains"!!! for a balanced breakfast, get a healthy heap of....angst.

JHVJSDHVFKHSDF

but gosh thank u so much for this ask, im so glad the pain managed to hit hard since it’s been quite a while since i last stretched my angst writing muscle (and my fic writing muscle in general OTL) so im rlly relieved to be seeing the emotionally devastated comments cuz phew thank god….ive still got it….. ;w;

hashing out the more specific details of how i imagined The Basement Incident was really interesting for me to do! all marius says in canon is along the lines of “a few older kids trapped me there as a prank” and “they were probably tired of seeing how everyone paid attention to me like planets orbiting the sun” and like. how much older is older. it cant be that old, because unthinking jealousy like that is such childish playground bully behavior. they were kids too, not really understanding the consequences of their actions

i actually cut a scene that was in my outline where like, those three kids who trapped marius in there were crying in the commotion once the ambulance came and once the Gravity of what happened set in. i cut it out for pacing reasons and for “giann, in that moment, would not care or notice them at all” reasons.

…..funfact: this is actually the fic where i think i did the most ever cutting of scenes and lines i first put down.

i wanted to be a little bit more restrained in how i wrote this? like, before i sent it to my girlfriend for editing, there were way more lines in the flashbacks further describing the “cold” of the setting and marius’ hypothermia, more paragraphs detailing giann’s experience of guilt, etc. i took em out. not rlly for the express benefit of the fic exactly, but i just wanted to try a “less is more” approach for once to see how it’d feel.

my verdict there is it’s super fun, results in a “muted” kind of reading experience that fit well here. the connections make themselves. it doesnt come to me as naturally as my more ramble internal monolog heavy shtick (i needed to look at my first draft for a whole afternoon just wondering what i wanted to axe JHKJHFSD) but it’s definitely a kind of technique i wanna try practicing more

writing process rambles aside, oh my gosh. “I think this might be the most angst I've read from your work since "and i feel my past regrets slipping into present tense” ” this is high praise to me since that fic is still one that i consider my most miserable piece in this fandom jvkJVJHFVKSDH

thank you so much for the lovely comment, milkyway!!! it’s always such a delight to see your thoughts and im so happy you liked this fic :’D

[salsflore]

💌 , 🎶 for zhongli cuz anniversary, 🎁 for diluc and haitham?

BINAAA okok thank you for the ask !!

💌 - what would a love letter from your f/o look like?

for zhongli, a simple envelope sealed with wax! maybe he’d even go through the small effort of folding the envelope himself instead of just having purchased it. i feel like his love letters wouldn’t often be over the top gushing lovemail, just things about missing me, or this reminded me of you and i wish we could share the sight, etc.

he might sign the envelope or write a little something on it if it’s not already included in the letter itself. think he’d be the type to end them with cute things like “missing you,” or “thinking of you,” or “i spent all your money sorry darling please forgive me,” you know xoxo

🎶 - what song/lyrics remind you of your f/o?

🎁 - what present would you get your f/o? What do they get you?

girl if i mention ji ming yue / moonlight thoughts in relation to zhongli one more time i think i might get kicked off. so other than that? perhaps valentine, by laufey..

i think it’s a bit silly to think of the loser geo archon reduced to just some guy that gets giddy over his crush even after literally getting married. thinking of him being shy, unsure ( lack of romantic experience or something, i guess ) makes me ill. he’d be so cute waahhh

warning i rambled a bit here

wowowow a question for ‘luc & alh! okay okay um so if it’s something like a bday, anniv gift then diluc would probably be a little clueless, might even ask adelinde on what to get? if it’s “just because” gifts i feel like he’d pick up small things like oh! a small bouquet of flowers. a little charm he saw, and thought i’d enjoy, etc. in return i’d ... honestly even in real life i don’t think too hard, i just try to pay attention to the things they like or seem to need.

other than those, probably small cute trinkets and stuff :] i imagine we’d be apart pretty often, so i’d be like “hey, loser! i got us matching keychains are you madly in love with me yet” and he’d be like “um. thanks” but also said keychain would be on his person 24/7.

now for alhaitham he’s definitely the type to give mostly practical gifts i think? things he knows i’d enjoy and can make a good use out of. if not that, he’d just directly ask, no need to think about it too much when you can get a straightforward answer! just my type ♡_♡ so his present depends on whatever i literally just ask for

for gifts i’d get him? genuinely don’t even know LOL maybe books... but if i get him the wrong book he might break up with me so then what! i should get him a children’s storybook. also maybe like silly stationery? and he’s like uh this is kind of ugly but he’ll be seen using it to fill out paperwork anyways, because it writes well and he loves me

[sunnymused]

This path had been walked before, treading carefully over parts of the floor that threatened to cave in with any added weight, past the darkened play structures that bent at odd angles. Initial surprise that anyone, especially Kelsey, had survived the explosion and the aftermath faded quickly to urgency; it's clear she's hurt and weak. Who knows how long she's been on her own. Luckily, among the chaos, many of the things in the emergency cabinet survived! If only they could get over there.

"So-o-o happy to se-e you..." Eclipse glances over their shoulder, sunrays expanding outwards to punctuate their point. Otherwise static features seem to shift into a smile, all thanks to the broken faceplate. They like it better this way!

Although... maybe their reunion isn't so happy after all. The sunrays shrink back into their head and the smile falls. Did she think this was all her fault? That was no good.

"Did you... g-get rid of the rab-b-bit?" The end of the sentence has a bite to it, reminiscent of the Moon, but their voice eases up again without missing a beat. "You must-t have. Proud of you..."

Pausing at the edge of a particularly treacherous part of the floor, their free hand comes down and rests on her shoulder. "Wat-t-tch out... it's not safe. St-tay here."

"F-friend? It's n-n-not safe here. Come with me-e-e." A hand is extended past the Daycare doors, though the inside doesn't look any less worse for wear than the outside. Is this really a good idea...?

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

I'm ELATED you're going to continue your Xavier fic omggggg it's been awhile and I miss your Xavier writings dearly

waahhh this is sweet 🥺 i'm so glad you're glad!!!! i'm really happy to be writing him again (and writing in general) and honestly i missed it too 😭🤍

[hyukalyptus]

i was just scrolling through your blog bc i’ve been mia here for a bit (waahhh) and can i just say i rly appreciate how open you are about talking about sex?? and i don’t just mean that bc you write smut!! but bc you give little tips and stuff and make notes on your pieces to remind others to be safe and healthy in practice

i just think that’s a really nice and kind thing to do :)

- 🐳

omg whale anon!! i was just thinking about you yesterday!! i was just reading through our hard thoughts and i miss hearing from you~

and awww thank you sm :,) i hope i make ppl feel safe and comfy and sexy in their bodies <3

[knightyoomyoui]

Momo x M Reader- “Somebody That I Used To Know”

A very late happy 19K reads and belated happy birthday to our japanese peach, dancing mochine, moguri, jeongyeon's tease experiment, mother of boo and dobby and nayeon's roommate, TWICE's Hirai Momo!!!

I'm impressed also that this book reached 19K reads at the same date with Momo's birthday lol.

As I said in the announcement,  I actually wanted to make one already and release it on her birthday but due to my stacked activities in college and lack of motivation to write, it became a struggle for me to finish this and publish it right away on her birthday. VOTE TWICE ON MAMA!!!

----------START----------

"Guys, The Kstar Next Door with me as your host Jonathan, is starting off its new season with my guests for this episode; please clap your hands for TWICE!", the host from the variety show being flashed in the TV energetically introduced the three familiar women beside him.

"Annyeonghaseyo, I'm TWICE's Sana-imnida!!!", Sana cheerfully introduced herself to the viewers as she giggled at the end.

"Annyeonghaseyo, TWICE's Nayeon- imnida", says the bunny looking idol Nayeon while waving her hands to the camera.

The two already made their introduction, that leaves to only one remaining left.

When she appeared at the screen, your stare became deeper and more focused.

"Ne, Annyeonghaseyo, TWICE's Momo-imnida", the another gorgeous Japanese member finally took her turn. Everyone including the staffs and crew present at the studio also joined the applause.

Your lips formed a straight line as your face went blank, mood suddenly became saddened.

It's been 2 weeks since you last saw her face with your own eyes after that recent bittersweet moment occurred between you and her.

And to be honest, you are surely missing her these days.

It just makes you sulk that you can't even attempt to gain interaction or a conversation with her despite of the promise both you two made from each other that you will still keep in touch with her. You are slowly hating this feeling as if you are being isolated by her.

It could've been possible for you meet or atleast talk with her either personally or not but instead a wall has been constructed where you can't get an access to her because it seems like she's the one who's preventing you from doing so.

Due to your longing and desperation, you could only recall your previous encounters with this woman who was yours before.

8 MONTHS AGO

"Waahhh! The weather looks very great today!",she exclaimed while having her head up in the clouds; admiring the perfect view of the sky today.

She raised both her arms and hands in the direction of the wind and the roofless car you were driving into. "I'm so lucky I don't have any plans today," she muttered, relieved. She turned her head at you and crashed her body to your side, snuggling into your arm.

"Thank you for agreeing to spend time with me, jagi," she said lovingly, her soft expression on your face. You kept your gaze fixed on the road, humming in response to her remark.

"No worries, Momoring," you said. She kissed your cheek quickly before removing herself from your embrace. Turning on her cellphone, she focused her attention on it next, while you continued to drive unphased by her sweet gesture.

"I'm going to share this with ONCEs right now that I'm enjoying this day with you," she said proudly, giggling adorably as she took a photo of herself laying her head on your shoulder. You just sighed as you remembered how she's so happy to be with you right now that in hyperbole speaking, she could die quickly because of it.

But knowing how much she genuinely so in love you, she wouldn't mind in the least.

Although, the only difference her was that, you aren't sharing the same mood with her. You couldn't even feel what she's feeling with you.

It was just another ordinary day for you. You couldn't blend in with her uplifting spirit because you didn't want to be in this situation today. The only thing you intended to do was stay at home and do whatever you pleased as a lazy potato.

Of course, as the boyfriend in your position. You have no choice but to join and provide your girlfriend with what she wants and needs. Despite this, all of your efforts result in the same outcome: you are completely unsatisfied and lonely in her company.

Aside from these, you still tried to convince and make believe yourself that she was the woman who is right for you. Who can stay with you and share love with you at any times.

You tried to understand and think that with these few months of your relationship with Momo and still standing very close romantically together to make you less worried that she loves you and you were the one who is also loving her back.

But at the same time, you know that this isn't what you want. This isn't the type of love you want to have with her.

So you once tried to find some reasons or motives where you could use to end this relationship with Momo, but as time passed by, you grew accustomed and used to this strange relationship you're having with her, causing you to simply accept it and live with it.

And with the new plan, you thought that it would be better if she would be the one to make the first move for giving up once it happens someday. At the very least, it will remain expected and unsurprising for you that she did it.

You continued waiting until one day, Momo seemed to also get relate with what you're experiencing.

"Hi babe," she said as you opened the door of your apartment after she knocked. As she walked in, she hugged and kissed you on the lips, which you returned.

"Hey, good evening. How's work?"

"I'm exhausted," she responded.. She collapsed weakly on your comfortable couch after removing her rubber shoes.

You gave her an awful look. "Well, thankfully, my tasks today are just moderate enough for me to not get super tired like you," you said. Momo remained silent because she was at a loss for words. She just let you mumble again about how grateful and confident you are that you are not getting the worst case scenario like her when it comes to various things, such as work.

"That's why I guess it's really a nice idea to keep my talents to myself and not to present it to the public as an idol.", you chuckled at your statement. It may be hilarious to think of for you but with Momo, she doesn't see it that way though. It was more like offensive in her part.

What's even worse was this isn't only the only time that she felt like you are comparing and belittling her.

"Being away from entertainment industry wasn't really that bad at all."

"I'll get going to sleep now, just join me in the bed after okay?", you entered your bedroom after having a conversation with Momo.

"Okay, I lo-" but before she could finish, she heard the door shut.

She only managed to let out an exhausted "okay" after being left alone in the living room.

She pulled her body up to sit on the couch, looking back at the wall where behind of it was you fixing your bed before laying down.

She sighed, her heavy heart dragging her down in pain and exhaustion once more. She can't bear the feeling that crawls on her whenever she noticed you weren't reciprocating or even showing just one sign or hint that you care and love her as much as your girlfriend, especially tonight.

She entered your bedroom and laid beside you who is already asleep. Turning her head at you, she was about to say "goodnight" behind your back but thinks otherwise instead.

Before she went into deep slumber, she has finally assured about this plan she had in mind that just like what her fellow TWICE members adviced after hearing her story of her sightings of unusual behavior within you; that this has to be the right solution for her problem.

The next day, she successfully accomplished what you've been waiting to occur.

"YN, can we talk for a moment?", she asked cautiously while you're drinking iced coffee with her at one of the café shops.

"Go ahead."

"I want to request something from you", she lowered her head after, closing her eyes as her heart was starting to produce another hurtful feeling she's trying to stabilize.

"You can mention anything, Momo.", you said after wiping your lips with a tissue. Momo heard that and took it as her go-signal, she sighed and gulped heavily.

"I have a request for you," she said, lowering her head and closing her eyes as her heart began to produce another painful feeling that she was attempting to calm.

Eyes slowly opening and took her time to stare at the face of her lover one last time before she said those words that will assuringly set her free for the better.

"Can we break up?"

And with that, it served as the conclusion for your love story with Momo. You were glad that it was no over which would spare you from suffering any longer being with her.

The break-up was mutual for you both and as for your favor that you want to have each other remain in touch and still be friends again, she just accepted it.

Back to the present, you held it as her own swear of agreement with you, that's why you have the reason to be disappointed and sad that she was not letting you to connect with her for 2 weeks long now.

Ending your revisit of memories you had with the nation's dancing machine, you continued watching the program where Momo is now currently getting interviewed while wondering when will be time for you to finally be able to meet and communicate with as your friend like what you always used to want with her ever since your relationship with her began.

2 DAYS LATER

As part of your daily routine, you are currently jogging your way around the Seoul Olympic Park to exercise your body every morning when your foot movements suddenly decreased its speed when you saw two familiar figures from the distance.

You took a few steps forward to see them clearly, and when you fully recognized them, your eyes widened and your mouth parted in triumph as the longing and loneliness you were feeling vanished completely.

It was Nayeon who was squatting and playing with her pet dog Kookeu, with your ex girlfriend Momo standing beside her, as she watched her own two pet dogs Boo and Dobby chasing each other while being restrained by ropes while eating her vanilla ice cream.

You dashed away from them and yelled at them. "GIRLS!!!"

They heard it and turned their heads at you. Receiving their gazes, Nayeon and Momo swiftly changed their expression from a bubbly to a dull one with Momo became quite awkward at your presence, leaning her eyes way from the sight of the man who once owned her heart.

"Hey, YN.", Nayeon greeted you simply with a timid smile. You grinned back at her.

"Good morning, Nay. And you too Momo", you said as you transitioned your eyes at your ex who still ain't staring back at you.

"Good morning. You are jogging today, I see.", Nayeon traced your body.

"Yeah, you guys have an early schedule?", you raised your brow.

Nayeon hummed. "Filming for our next Time to TWICE content but so far we took these boys for a walk while waiting.", you let out an "oh!" after.

"Oh okay, then can I stay with you guys for a while? I also want to t-," before you finished your sentence, Momo said something to Nayeon as she showed her phone, and the eldest listened attentively to her. "Unnie, they just messaged me. The maknaes have already arrived at the building," she informed.

Nayeon looked at the phone before switching to Momo. They stared for about 2 seconds before Nayeon turned back to face you and Momo returned her gaze to the dogs. "I'm sorry, YN, but we have to leave now."

"Oh, no problem, I suppose you two are now being called back," you said, nodding your head and forcing a smile.

"Bye, YN," Nayeon said as you waved your hands. Momo, on the other hand, just walked away immediately first, pulling Boo and Dobby with her, with Nayeon following her from behind.

You were about to call Momo, but she abruptly left the scene. Your brow furrowed as you became perplexed and irritated that Momo wasn't talking to you or acknowledging your presence.

You began to wonder if she had a problem with you because there's no way she'd suddenly change into a strange demeanor after seeing you when she was just being very lively with Nayeon and the dogs earlier.

So, you took a mental note that the next time your directions may led to her; you won't waste any more chances to build up a conversation with her.

1 WEEK AND 2 DAYS LATER

Your next encounter with Momo took place when you went to your cousin's house. You were about to say goodbye to your aunt when she told you that she would bring the entire group here to celebrate today.

Knowing that you are an ONCE fan of them because obviously both your ex and cousin are TWICE members, she just informed you that easily, especially since she has no idea how you and Momo once became a couple then separated less than a year later.

Seeing this as another opportunity you can't just let it pass anymore, you decided to stay and assist your aunt with some chores until both of you were alarmed by the sound of a ringing sound of the doorbell made by the person outside your aunt's house.

When your aunt opened the door, all nine girls appeared and greeted her politely and respectfully. As they make their way inside the house, your cousin, who is leading the girls, is taken aback by your sudden appearance.

"Y-YN?!" exclaimed your cousin from your father's side, the bright-skinned tofu Kim Dahyun, as she noticed you organizing the table. The others who arrived in the living room just behind Dahyun as they reached the living room, all reacted the same when she mentioned your name and saw your figure standing in front of them.

You looked back at them but had your vision targeted right at Momo who has a blank expression in her face as she looked back at you with droppy eyes. As like what she did a week ago, she threw her sight away aside.

"What's up, cous.", you greeted Dahyun.

"W-why are you here?", she asked you.

"Well, it's your birthday today right? Don't you want your only close cousin to celebrate with you?", you pouted, acting like you are sulking at her approach.

"Well, I'll add it also my invitation for him," Mrs. Kim said after she stirred her cooking on the pan. "Since you said that you are coming here with your members and they know YN, I made him cwhether or not he would stay longer today.", she shrugged.

Taking both sides' understandable, Dahyun nodded her head approvingly but her face shows worriedness and nervousness because except her mom, every people in their house right now knows why the sudden discomforting atmosphere just created around them.

She glanced at Momo and her unnie gave her with a trusting smile, telephatically saying that she will be alright. Dahyun replied with the same gesture before she went back with her usual humorous personality to please her visitors on her special day today.

During your conversation with the girls, you cast some slick glances at Momo, who is sitting directly in front of you from the other seat. There were times when she could receive your gaze as well, but she was avoiding it all of it again.

Few hours later after giving Dahyun your best wishes and prayers for her 24th birthday, eating with the girls and Mrs. Kim, and helping her clean the dishes once more, you excused yourself from them to find Momo and Dahyun, who was only absent.

You made your way to the rooftop and found Momo talking with Dahyun about something.

Since Momo was facing her back at you, the only one you captured from your presence was your cousin Dahyun.

You silently motioned her to let you speak with her, but Dahyun commands you alternatively, luring you away as she continued to refer to Momo. You're baffled about what's going on with her and what's preventing her and you from talking.

You remembered your promise that the next time you see Momo, you will talk to her regardless of the circumstances. She is your friend and one of the special people who came into your life, even if her love was insufficient for you. You simply wanted to check in on her, as friends usually do.

Too preoccupied with convincing Dahyun to let you share some time with Momo, neither of you noticed that Momo had already become weirded and curious as to who Dahyun was talking about from behind without saying anything.

She looked up to see you standing near the gate. Dahyun just shook her head in defeat, as you and she ended up staring at each other. Her frown was clearly visible to you.

"He's here, unnie, are you still going to do it?" she asked, whispering near Momo's ear.

She slowly nodded. "I have to. There's no way out. It's just him and me right now," she muttered. Dahyun gave Momo a small smile and patted her shoulder before leaving her side.

"I'm telling you to go away because she can't stand having you near her," Dahyun hissed, looking up to see your taller figure.

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, hell, I don't even know what's making her act like this when it comes to me," you said innocently, a slight grunt in your deep voice.

"You looking for answers? Talk to her and discover the huge mess you've left on her, cous. Can't believe you're really this dense," Dahyun scoffed as she came downstairs, leaving the rooftop and both you and Momo tonight.

You hurriedly approached Momo and came to a halt when you noticed her winced at your incoming closer appearance.

"Nobody can disturb us this time, Momo. Not even you." you said seriously. "As much as I wanted to engage a topic about checking up on you, I just want to be straightforward right away."

" What's wrong with us? Do you have a problem with me? I thought the break up was peacefully agreed between us. No hard feelings right? But what's this, Momo?", you panickedly fired some questions to her.

You were about to ask next but you saw Momo starting to sniff rapidly as her emotions starting to overcome her unwell state. You were taken aback at this as it struck you hard that you made her cry in an instant.

It made you assume that reason might be that huge for her to get very emotional in front of you.

"Momoring, tell me please. Trust me, I'm just worried.

"Worried?", she finally spoke, chuckling despite of her slight choking from her cry. "I never thought you can feel like that. But it looks like you do, just... why didn't you do it sooner?"

"What?"

Then the next thing she did had you completely awakened your senses and had your eyes sprung in bewilderment.

She slapped you so hard in your right cheek, leaving a red palm shaped mark on the spot.

You leaned your face away at the impact, but that didn't made Momo to interrupt her turn to speak.

"Why didn't you showed me that when I was NEEDING IT FROM YOU  BEFORE, HUH!", she angrily shouted at you.

"WHEN I WAS LOVING YOU THE MOST OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE, GIVING IT ALL I CAN JUST TO PROVE MYSELF TO YOU THAT YOU WON'T BE DOUBTING YOURSELF CHOOSING ME AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT EARLY THAT YOU NEVER CARED FOR ME LESS THAN I DO FOR YOU....", she started sobbing heavily.

"Momo, but I thought..."

"What? That I'm all fine with us breaking up?", she bitterly asked. "Ofcourse, I don't. It was the other way around for me, YN. And how stupid of you to think that I want to remain myself attached with you after what you did to me who tried to never stopped loving you  only to tear me apart in return? No, YN.

"In fact, I never wanted to be part of everything about you anymore when I finally realized that after all we've been through, it was just nothing to you.", she stared intensely at you.

"You just wasted my love, YN. Disrespectfully and unappreciatingly, you took me only for granted and it fucking hurts.", her lips twitched furiously as she began explaining what made her to decline your offer of reversal and downgrading your relationship with her unromantically.

For Momo, it was like she was getting  manipulated over and over again by you without her knowing before but thanks to the girls whom she shared her troubles and difficulties she had from you as attempted to make you amused for her efforts, they helped her cure her blindness from the reality by opening her eyes and deceived mind and it did worked to see and interpret things very clearly for her to wake up from this unhealthy relationship you trapped her in.

They made her realize that you don't love her at all and she didn't deserve to be with a type of guy who only thinks of himself and doesn't show any empathy for what the others might see, think or feel from what you're doing that is undeniably harmful.

That's why Momo also shared her approval of distancing herself away from you and the girls just complied to her, giving her many ways just to easily ran away wherever you try to reach for her.

One of the few examples was that unbeknownst to you, back at during your encounter with Nayeon and Momo in the Seoul Olympic Park, she added another message in the chat box below the one she received from her manager.

It was her suggesting for them both to leave now because she doesn't want to be around with you. Nayeon complied right away when Momo showed it to her as she knew that she had to follow because she is also involved for supporting her friend and her fellow member in her darkest times brought by you.

"Now you had me remember when you used to screw me over, making me believe as if every odd thing I could find between us was something something I was at fault for, as if all of it was something I'd done," she said, her mind filled with images of all the memories she could use to prove that you didn't felt the same true love as she did.

"I don't want to keep living that way, YN. I can't have myself being brought on and just reading into everything you say," she said, shaking her head.

"I thought this is what you wanted? You said you could let it go, right? Then why am I still catching you up trying so hard to hang out with me, YN?", your heart immensely ached when she referred to herself as what she thinks she is now for you.

After she finishes ranting about what you did, you take deep breaths in and out to reduce the intensity of the heartbreaking moment you're sharing with Momo.

You had just watched her wiping her tears out with her handkerchief before you were the one to share your side next.

"I am now aware and guilty of how horrible I treated you, Momo. But still, you didn't have to cut me off like that.", you said, fighting with your own defense for your own perspective of being also the victim here.

"You can't just pretend as if I didn't existed in your whole life, like our past never happened and we were just nothing.", you complained. "I get it and yes it is correct that I don't even need your love but you treat me like as if a ghost, a nobody or a stranger to you and it just feel so rough to me, Momo."

"Having your friends spread you apart from me, either collecting your accounts and numbers then change it was so low of you."

"Don't try to outrun your past. As much as you want to let go and visualizing it like it never happened at all from you, that won't change everything Momo... that we were a thing back then.", you reminded her. Momo just chuckled and looked at you in disbelief.

"You really don't get it.", Momo said while waving her head. She looked at you with those devastated eyes that describes what you were able to give from her since you met her.

She stepped closer and grabbed both of your shoulders just like how she used to love touching and massaging your muscles. "W-why are you doing this to me? Can you just let me be free, YN?"

"I-I can't..."

"Why?"

"I just can't seem to lose you.", you lowered down your head and looked at her with your frown.

Momo just let out a faint smile at your touching words yet not sincere for her. "I used to say it repeatedly to myself too when you left, YN. But do you know the difference between you and I?", she leaned closer her mouth beside your ear.

"I loved you and took our relationship seriously, but you don't and you never did."

"We're not the same. This is all new. I don't need you anymore in my life. Not after what you did to me.", she said while a shaky voice, pointing her finger at you.

A teardrop escaped in your eyes, running down in your cheek.

"Really, tears?", she rolled it in her mouth as she watched that unexpected product of your pain that consumes you inside. "This is what you wanted right? I bet you were even glad that we're over.", you failed to dodge that one because what she said was true. You were even anticipating for her to fell out of love for you.

"So this is it? Are you sure?", you flashed a bitter smile at her. "I guess I won't need it though if that so."

" I'm already happy and contented with what I have, your addition is no longer required. As far as I'm concerned, yes. We're done."

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know, YN.", she said as she cupped the side of your cheek, tracing the face of the man she wanted to marry and build her own family in the future when she retires before she starts making her way out.

Your heart shambles into pieces when you felt a massive pain when she mentioned you like that. All of your thoughts and slight fear  that she was pretending as if you were never there whenever you are just steps around from her became true because she really was doing it purposefully.

You grabbed her arm and she tried to escape from your hold but left matched with your strength.

"Wait, wait... Momo... you're kidding right?", you chuckled nervously.

"Let me go, YN.", she said sternly as she shaked her arm aggressively to get rid of your lock.

"Are you serious? I know, I didn't even need your love but you can't just forget me like that..."

"THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN TOOK MY CONFESSION IF YOU DIDN'T?!", she gave you multiple strong hits around your upper body but you withstand them all.

"BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE RIGHT FOR ME! I-....", you lessened the tightness of your grip from Momo's wrist, heartbeat rising and body trembling in unease. "I tried to be like you, Momo."

She huffed in the air, looking at you ridiculously. "And I wanted you to be better than that. I never forced you to stay with me. I needed your real love not fake it with mercy."

You finally let your hands fall from her skin, eyes became glossy and blurry from the tears barging to flow out as you watched Momo slowly distancing herself away from you. Only her sobs could be heard around the rooftop, her echo of despair ruining the glamorous background surrounding you two.

"Don't go, please...", you begged.

"I was prompted to say the same as you but knowing how well you took it, I guess it really was a right idea that I simply swallowed it in hesitation.", she said inside her head.

Stopping at the gate, she paused and added one last words to say for you, rotating her body to glance at you one last time, a sorrowful smile plastered within her.

"You still couldn't say that one word I only want to hear from you to see if there's still some hope left in you. But... I guess it's too late. They're right, you're so selfish and narcissistic indeed.", you listened to her as you remained bowing your head.

"Perhaps you should try reflecting yourself, take this as my way of saving other women out there who might adore you someday not to end up like me.", she left and went downstairs as she tried to mask her shattered tear-stained face returning from her members; leaving you all alone speechless to process every rants that Momo unleashed to you that came from her heart, all caused by you.

You have no idea what will happen to you in the future. But from what you heard from Momo, maybe you'll consider listening about it since somehow she got a point too.

All you've known so far was that she is still the one you prefer, and it puzzles you the most that maybe she was actually right all along that you are in the wrong side here and this is a pure karma of your mistreatment for Momo.

Returning back your sight at the dim sky, mind full of thoughts and heart damaged as you emitted another sound of cries concerning Momo's clarification of rejecting you and her desire to erase your existence from her world forever.

----------END----------

-🍑-

[hoshi-y]

Hey! I really like your writing If I could get headcanons of Hanako and Tsukasa with a s/o who has a personality similar to theirs? Like for Tsukasa they would be like him but probably wouldn’t kill people and Hanako would love space donuts etc? Have a nice day!

Meant to be

Genre : Fluff

Characters : Hanako, Yugi Tsukasa

TW : None

A/N : WAAHHH I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITINGS! I always thought it was kind of mid LOL and Of course! This request would be an interesting one fr

I hope you enjoy!

Match made in heaven

It was like a match made in heaven

You two were like two peas in a pod

Since you and him had the same interest

You two would ALWAYS stargaze and rant about astronomy

The both of you were very passionate and knowledgeable with astronomy

Not only that you two loved to have fun and mess around

Believe me, he would sometimes skip his meetings just to be with you

I feel like you two would start having flirt wars, as the other was too stubborn to back off

Sometimes you guys would do harmless pranks here and there

Nothing major (It was—)

CLINGY FOR EACH OTHER 24/7 I DONT EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT

Whenever he finds you floating about minding your own business

He would pull you to a corner so you two could cuddle TT

He would sometimes bring you to his boring meetings

Make you sit on his lap and he'll hold you as he discuss somethings with the wonders

Lmao what are you all glaring at

There was a time Yashiro brought the two of you homemade donuts

You two devoured that in minutes—

He loved plain, while you also loved plain but it had some sort of glaze on it

You two shared the same humor

wether dark or not, you'd find yourself rolling on the floor grasping for air

At the end of the day, You two would do your daily after school routine ahuhu

"Bye-bye Yashiro and Minamoto! See you tomorrow!" You bid farewell to them as you watched them walk out of the schools back gate

You turned around a jumped a little as Hanako, your Boyfriend was there, you kind of bumped into him a little but luckily he caught your hand before you could fall any further

"Woahh, You almost fell... for me~"

"I already did toilet boy" You giggled as he dug his face on your neck hugging you tightly "Tired?" You felt a nod "Let's go to the rooftop" You held his habd tenderly as you lead your half awake boyfriend to the rooftop

As the two of you got there, you sat on the picnic blanket Yashiro forgot to fold and hide away, you patted your lap and he immediately knew what to do

Hanako laid down on your lap as you took off his hat and ran your fingers thru his soft choppy black hair "You can rest, Love, I'll be here.." You suddenly felt him push you down as he hugged you "Mm.. Alright.."

Oh what am I ever gonna do with you? Amane.

Perfect Match

you two were PERFECT for each other

I just know Sakura and Natsuhiko were so thankful you came into his life, it was now less noisy in the broadcasting room

You were dead, so you and him could play EVERYDAY

surprisingly, he gets tired from all that running around

"Tsu get up!! Let's go play!!" Pulling on his arm for him to stand up, but he pulled your arm and now you landed ontop of him as he smirked "Didn't I tell you that I'm resting?~" He inched closer, but he didn't see a blush on your face or a reaction

"And I said I wanted to play.." You inched as close and Tsukasa backed off

Oh my were you so bold

This type of non reaction from you fueled him to do more

More teasing = No reaction

He ended up sulking in the corner

When the two of you ended up together

You two were so clingy for each other

Would cuddle 24/7

Tsukasa would be very overprotective of you, and you were too

But the thing is, you don't kill and harm and he does

You once saw him smash a supernatural into bits and you just stood there

You looked.. Amazed?

"Woooww that was so cool Tsu!!" You said excitedly as he looked back and stood up walking up to you "My dear! What are you doing here?~"

You hugged him as you dug your face on his chest "I missed you Tsu~" He chuckled as he gently grabbed you cheeks and leaned down to give you a kiss "Me too, But I have work to do so—"

"Ehhh Nooo!!" You whined as you clung onto him

Scary....

You two would sometimes past the time running around playing, annoying the shit outta Natsuhiko and Sakura

Just the usual~

Sakura sighed as she closed her book "Look what you two did! You annoyed my lady—"

"Be quiet, Natsuhiko."

"OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR YOU M'LADY"

You and Tsukasa hugged each other, waiting for Sakuras lecture "You two are like two peas in a pod.. I can never tell apart who's who, Both your personalities are so alike." She rubbed her forehead

"MMMMMM, Ne, Sakura, Me and [F/N] Will go to the domain~" Sakura didn't even care anymore, as long as the two of you get out of her hair she's fine

Tsukasa lead you to his (?) Domain as the two of you played in there, The splashing of water and both your laughters was the only thing you could hear

You tripped and fell, and Tsukasa immediately went over to you helping you up "Are you okay?.." With a soft voice, This surprised you "Mhm! Don't worry Tsu!" He chuckled as he hugged you

"I like it when you call me Tsu, Call me that every day okay?!" You nodded enthusiastically as the two of you talked about random things instead, he didn't want his lovely S/O to get hurt

shakira shakira

[ristoranteivorykeys]

twst mermay 11 — hobbies

after hearing about styx taking away the ob boys, jade can't bring himself to go back to the mountains.

ft. jade leech & floyd leech

╰┈➤ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: spoilers for chapter 6; waahhh i'm back from the dead ;^; june has been horrible to me, but i'm back to writing and aiming to finish mermay~ i really like to play around with jade's feelings about azul (platonic mostly, but i like romantic too owo), and you'll see a little bit of that in this fic. some future jade fics will be about jade's relationship with azul as well. i admit that this sort of strayed away from the theme of hobbies, but well, when have my fics ever truly followed the prompt? :P regardless, i hope you enjoy!

╰┈➤ 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐨: mermay masterlist

Jade’s backpack that was filled with mountain gear waited on the floor by his bed, and his clothes sat on top of his bed near the backpack, hoping to be worn. Minutes ago, he was going to change into them and start his usual solo club activities in the mountains. 

He’s supposed to change into his hiking clothes. He was planning on finding this rare fungi that he heard about recently. He had been excited for this all week. The fungi only grows in Sage Island once every twenty years, and he can’t miss it!

Yet he didn’t have the energy to even get up from where he sat on his bed. He couldn’t even think about the chilly breeze and flora of the mountains. His mind was somewhere else.

“Jade, Jade!” Kalim yelled over the phone. 

Jade nearly dropped his phone from the sudden loud voice blaring in his ear, but he successfully kept his grip on it. His honeyed smile that he was so notorious for dropped in the blink of an eye. Replacing it was an honest look for once, surprised wide eyes that wondered what was going on. It’s not that he’s never heard Kalim panic before, it’s just that the panic had an extra layer of urgency and fear that he never imagined his voice would contain.

“What is it, Kalim?”

It’s dark in the room, a deceptive dim veil that tricks the body to think that it’s 10 in the evening and not 4 in the afternoon. In Octavinelle, no sunlight entered the building, so students got their light through their lamps. Jade didn’t bother turning on his lamp. 

He’d rather have it off. If the lamp was on, Jade would be angry that something dared to be bright when things felt so dark. 

“There’s… there’s an emergency,” Kalim frantically replied. His voice sounded out of breath, like he had been running around. He probably did run around. “School’s been attacked, people were taken, you gotta go to the Headmaster’s office!”

“Come again, Kalim? The school was attacked?” He put his other hand to his phone, as if pressing it more to his ear would let him hear Kalim better and magically understand what he was saying. His frown deepened. 

“Yeah! You didn’t hear the explosions? Oh whatever, just go to the office already!” 

He sat on his bed, his back straight, hands on his lap, and feet placed together neatly. He appeared to be the perfect definition of “sit up straight”, the kind of gentleman that ladies would remark on for his top tier manners and make other men angry at him. He was still, unmoving, almost frozen in time. He’s supposed to go outside and hike the mountains. He’s telling himself to stand up. The mountains are a great place to destress, and it would soothe his nerves. 

But he couldn’t. Not when everything seemed so dark, not when everything seemed so cold. Coral Sea is the very definition of dark and cold, uninhabitable for most creatures, but home for him. He could trap himself in a freezer and live, he would laugh at those panicking in the dark. Yet this darkness is not like the depths of the sea. There’s uncertainty in these waters that he never thought he’d be pulled into. Uncertainty that he hated. For a moment, he wondered if this was the sensation that humans felt when they drowned. 

“Kalim, shouldn’t you be calling Azul for this,” Jade asked. 

And just as the words left his mouth, the answer hit him. The realization was a cold weight that dropped in his chest. It froze his voice, it tightened his chest, it almost burned. 

It’s not that he can’t lead—Jade is capable of being a vice dorm leader. But as vice, he’s used to being the second; all concerns go to the dorm leader first. Rarely would he be the most needed. 

Yet when he truly thought about it, Azul was always there. It’s like the little jazz trio that they had in middle school—Azul was always on time, coming in the piece even when Floyd went off the rails, even when Jade made a slight mistake or two. He’d always be in the music room even when the two of them would wander off somewhere. He was always there, filling the room with his music. He was always there, filling the twins’ days with entertainment. He was always there, filling Jade’s heart with overflowing warmth. 

Azul was always there. No, rather, Jade realized that he always relied on Azul being there. So much so that he never thought about the possibility of the piano not accompanying his bass and Floyd’s drums, about the possibility of Azul not being there. 

“Jade…” For once, Kalim’s voice, the voice that usually reassured and brightened the room, held no alleviating effect. It lost its light.

“I tried to call Azul. He wasn’t picking up… I think he was taken.”

Jade’s eyes blinked. Faint footsteps echoing from outside the hall, their rhythm all too familiar to his ears. Suddenly, he found the strength to stand up from his bed. Suddenly, he found the little motivation needed to start changing into his hiking attire. 

The door creaked open. The lamp was lit, and Jade’s dorm clothes were no longer on his person. He stood in his boxers, turning to see Floyd enter their shared room. He was chewing, and it seemed to be a crunchy snack from the sounds he made. Probably some chips he raided from the kitchen.

“Ehh? You’re still gonna do your mushroom hunting,” Floyd asked with a raise of a brow and a bit of disgust in his tone. His mouth was still full.

“Of course. I still have to fulfill my club hours,” Jade answered as he picked up his pants, not looking at his brother. 

“No one’s continuing their clubs now, y’know,” Floyd said, swallowing what he had been chewing before plopping down on his bed. 

“That’s because their club leaders decided it,” he replied, though he didn’t put on his pants, only holding onto them and staring at them. “I’m not bound by such arbitrary decisions as the only member of the Mountain Lovers Club. Besides, there is that fungi—”

He heard his twin sigh. It’s exasperated and tired. “Jade. You don’t have to pretend around me.”

Jade finally turned his head to look at Floyd. He smiled apologetically. It’s not happy, but it’s his first smile since the call with Kalim. “I’m sorry. Force of habit.”

[nanamisflowerfield]

I actually posted a drabble after not really writing for the past few months and I'm genuinely proud of it qwq I was lowkey on the verge of tears after I posted it (happy tears tho <3333) cause I've been so burnt out from school and for the first time in a while I was actually able to write something so yay ^^

Also hi, hope your well OFJEFLSVISGKSIG- ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾

Bybfkfkd WAAHHH! I‘m so proud of you, hallow!!💕 I really missed your writing! (and because I don‘t get any tumblr notifications rn, I can‘t see if people posted anything ;w; and I was busy lately too sjdjdidis) Gonna run and read it!💕

I am! I hope that you are feeling well too!!💕💕💕

[ffxiiscenarios]

Waahhh I would love it if you could write a scenario post FFXII, where an attendant s/o discovers Basch is masquerading as Judge Gabranth??? (like maybe they knew Gabranth before the game and would recognize the voice change once Basch takes up the armor)? Thank you :) I'm so glad there's an FFXII Reader blog.

Everybody loves Lord Gabranth now.

“He’s so kind,” they say.

“I can breathe easy around him now.”

“Lord Larsa’s new rule has brought out the good in everyone.”

But you know better. You know people. Nobody simply changes out of the blue like that! Though relatively new to castle duties, you’ve served as Gabranth’s maidservant since at least the fall of Dalmasca.

Before this “change,” you mostly cleaned, did his laundry, and served him food on the rare occasion he cared to eat in his quarters, so your interactions were limited. But little as you knew him, one thing was certain: like all Judge Magisters, he was to be feared, not adored. And he made sure of it. Once, when he accidentally removed his helmet in your presence, you’d managed to sneak a glance at his face.

He was handsome, to be sure. Exactly what one might imagine if one was stupid enough to romanticize a ruthless Judge Magister. But you knew better, even then, and his eyes were nothing but cold. You easily averted your gaze and left his quarters at once, understanding that you were to speak of it to no one.

Now, suddenly, simply for the death of the Emperor and his mad son, Lord Gabranth has become the kindest man in Ivalice? Preposterous.

Of course, you can’t deny that he is kind nowadays. He acknowledges those who dare to address him, and politely, too.

“Thank you, ________,” he even said this morning, when you brought in his breakfast.

Before then, you weren’t even sure he knew your name. It’s nice, but there has to be something more to his sudden transformation. This Gabranth is not the lord you knew, served, and feared.

Clicking your tongue in frustration, you scrub the floor of his bathroom dutifully. Regardless of his odd change, after all, you still have a job to do. You can’t deny that the Judge Magister certainly does his.

That’s when the sound of shuffling outside snaps you out of your thoughts.

Pausing, you glance up. No one is allowed to be here save you and anyone who would take your place if you were ill, and Lord Gabranth is never home during the day. A thief, then?

You get up and slowly open the door, ready with a broom in hand - when a peculiar sight greets you. Several scars on a muscular back. Old lashings, but not that old - and they sting to even look upon. You stare in horror until something on the bed catches your eye. A helmet, breastplate, gauntlets…

Your gaze snaps back to the scars - or it would, if their owner didn’t just turn to face you.

Your gaze falls to the floor at once. “Forgive me, my lord. I…” Your mind runs over itself trying to think of an excuse, but it’s clear to both of you that his scars distracted you.

Gabranth startles, but his voice is calm. “______. I didn’t realize you were here.”

“I - I was cleaning, Lord Gabranth. Forgive me. I’ll take my tools and leave at once.”

“It really is no matter, _______.”

Your eyebrows furrow. Not at his kind response, but the way he says it. The way he speaks, and his voice… It isn’t just a matter of intonation. You’ve been trying to pin down what it is, but there’s no other way to put it.

His voice is simply….different.

Gabranth’s face now mirrors your knitted brow. “Is aught amiss, _______?”

After a long pause, you softly admit, “Yes.”

His brows lift in surprise at that. “Know that you may speak plainly with me. What is it?”

“…Who are you?”

Gabranth blinks at your sudden question and the way you’ve lifted your broom somewhat, as though ready to defend yourself at any moment. As though it would matter against a Judge Magister. “_______? Have you grown ill?”

“…I’m fine,” you curtly answer. The real Lord Gabranth would be cross at such an accusation. Not concerned. “One does not speak plainly with Lord Gabranth. And…” You rattle away, all your thoughts tumbling out of your mouth, “it would be impossible for him to bear your scars. New scars. Or your voice. Neither was he kind.” 

When you finish, Gabranth levels you with such an intense stare that you almost take a step back. Not even the real Lord Gabranth had ever looked at you like that. Still, you hold your ground, even if you’re barely able to stop yourself from nervously gulping.

“Did he hurt you?” is what he asks.

Relief washes over you, but so does alarm. At least he isn’t angry, but…

“No, never,” you murmured. “But—”

Gabranth sighs, letting his shoulders slump as he runs a hand through his short hair. “I had thought my acting fine enough to fool even those closest to my brother. I see I was wrong.”

His brother…? That is the only plausible explanation, you suppose. But why? “Well, yes… You and Lord — the real Lord Gabranth are markedly different.”

You speak without hesitation, but Gabranth doesn’t miss the question in your eyes. When? “During the battle with Vayne,” he answers it. “It was his last wish that I protect Lord Larsa, as he had.”

There are so many questions on your mind. Where did this man come from? Does the Emperor know? And is Lord Gabranth really…?

It isn’t as though he had been anything more than your master, but knowing that someone you knew passed away, and to no one else’s knowledge… Tears prick your eyes, to your confusion, and to this Gabranth’s shock.

Your chest heaves for a moment, taking in the news - and then you school your features into the neutrality of a trained maidservant. But you still can’t bring yourself to speak.

Gabranth watches you for a time, perhaps waiting for your response, but your reaction isn’t lost on him. He lets a moment of silence pass before he speaks again.

“I suppose it didn’t help that I smiled. He wasn’t one to smile, was he?”

The sudden question - or the smile that graces this Gabranth’s features - makes you think of the real one, and how he might look if he smiled. You find that even with one on this Gabranth’s face, you can’t imagine it on the old one.

“No. And neither did your sudden change in manner and temperament,” you say, unable to help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Gabranth gives the smallest chuckle that makes you laugh even harder - at least until tears begin to slip onto your cheeks. Dropping your broom, you rush to wipe them even as you weep. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.” Gabranth - because that is who he is now - draws closer when it is clear you won’t push him away. He rests a hand on your shoulder. “I am glad - that he had someone who cared for him. I am sorry you could not know. Lord Larsa thought it best.”

Your gaze lowers again. “I had no right to. I was merely his maidservant. I didn’t really know Lord Gabranth.”

“Few did. Nevertheless.”

You can’t help but look up at his kind voice - one that matches his kind gaze. He bears a scar across one eyebrow, and now that you know the truth, you see all the little differences in their appearance. How could you ever have mistaken him for the true Gabranth? Still… he is handsome, just like his brother. And though his voice is much more gravelly, it isn’t unpleasant.

And his form…

His half-naked form.

Suddenly, your face blooms red and you turn your back on the Judge. “I’m sorry for intruding, Lord Gabranth. I’ll take my tools and go.”

You hurry into the bathroom as Gabranth appears to realize his state of undress. When you return, he looks peculiar in a tunic and the bottom half of his armor. Before you can scurry out, however…

“Wait.”

You turn, hoping you are no longer as red as you feel. Now that you’ve realized just how handsome this kind man is, you can’t quite look him in the eye, and heat pricks at your back in embarrassment. You are suddenly aware of how plain you might look in your maidservant’s dress.

“Don’t fret, Lord Gabranth. Your secret is safe with me.”

“It isn’t that. _______… we have our duties, but might we speak again?”

This time, you do gulp. He wants to see you again? “Milord?”

“You knew my brother, and now you know me - something true of no one in Archades but the Emperor. I must admit, I find it a relief.”

Oh.

“Oh. Well…”

“And - I would like to hear of what you knew of him, however little. But I understand if you don’t wish to—”

“I would love to,” you blurt out, before he can withdraw the invitation.

Gabranth pauses, and then smiles, gaze lingering on yours. It seems as though he’s looking at you for the first time. “I am glad to hear it. …Dinner, perhaps?”

“I - I suppose?” You clear the nerves from your throat. What is the matter with you? He’s only asking to speak with you again to discuss his brother. You don’t even know this man, and yet… “Yes.”

“Thank you, _______.”

“Good day, milord.” You nod, giving a quick curtsy before rushing outside with your tools. You lean against the wall as you shut the door behind you, trying to calm your beating heart.

You will mourn Lord Gabranth. He deserves that, at least. But perhaps this new one isn’t so bad after all.

//

Here you go! Thank you so much for the ask! I love Basch and i needed this to kick me back into gear! Love Noah by extension, but I wonder how s/o will react to the knowledge that Basch’s scars were Noah’s doing. I know there wasn’t much romance, but s/o is getting a bit of a crush! :D (And so is Basch.)

I still have the previous asks to answer and I will absolutely get to them! I’ve just gone through a change of life-everythings and so it’s taken me a while to get back into the groove, I’m so sorry guys! But this definitely helped and I’ll be picking up and finishing the other asks soon c: sorry to keep you guys waiting oTL

[ushijimawakaflockaflame-blog]

AAAAHH!!! IT'S YOU!! IT'S REALLY YOU!! I thought I had lost you & you were gone forever! I think a month or so ago I clicked on your blog & it was gone!! I was like "Nooo! What?! What happened?! I was just talking to you the other day!" I tried googling "ballisticscenarios" to see if it said you moved but couldn't find anything. Then I tried again today & here you are!! I'm so happy! I missed you & your writing & your love for Tatsunari! The missing piece in my heart has been restored!

waahhh i'm crying ~! i didnt know or care to save the original username LOL sorry if you searched for a while!!!! ; ~ ;

[maafsci]

I feel like no one cares about me, as fucking stupid as that sounds. I blocked a friend of 3 years, who quite literally kept me together during hard parts of my life, but due to me being a complete dick and trying to be someone I wasn’t around her, she grew to hate me. I can’t fucking forgive myself no matter how hard I try and it’s fucking painful. Because after I tracked her down back into my life, she’d always make quips at me, reminding me of my lies and how much they hurt her, in a joking manner. And I lied about some fucked up shit, like I said, I guess I was trying to be someone I wasn’t around her for her attention, her approval over something that never happened. You know the phrase, “If you love her, let her go”? I didn’t. I couldn’t. I can’t. I didn’t love her, I was obsessed with her. Not in a “girlfriend/boyfriend” way. I can’t describe it other than straight up possessive. This is on my part, she did nothing wrong... I think. During early stages of our friendship, we roleplayed A LOT. I mean, staying up all night just to see our characters blossom into a relationship, and I’m not gonna lie, I can’t remember anything other than that the two years I knew her during that time. She was kind, she listened to me.. I guess that was a problem. I had some problems going on concerning me and my dad.. As in, I hated going over there for the summer, and I just wanted to spend time with -friend-. That split me and my dad apart, and it’s one of the things I regret to this day. So I would rant to friend and she would console me, and I was just infatuated with her. It got to the point where I couldn’t stand seeing her around other people, and it made me so fucking jealous and pissy, I would write her paragraphs about how she was so “popular”, and had better friends, saying “I understand if you unfriend me, I’m not as cool as you are”. I said shit I look back on and fucking cringe. I probably made her feel so fucking bad. I made MYSELF feel bad typing that but my obsession with her just drove me to send it. I was fighting with depression around the 2-ish year, and I have a really fucked up sense of humor. Like “Wanna know what’s sad?”  “Hmm?”  “I woke up.” That shit kinda cracks me up, but of course I understand if it’s not someone’s cup of tea. So the few months have been kind of.. strange. (past) She always made up some reason to avoid playing with me, or every time I asked if she would like to do something, she’d ignore me until the next day, or until I messaged her again. And of course, me and my possessive ass was fucking butthurt. I forget the joke I made, but it was a suicidal one, and she just said. “/pat”. I don’t know why, but that ticked me off way more than it should have. I responded with a, “That’s it?”. She kinda went off on me and we got into an argument. I was in 7th grade at the time, and I went to class with my friends, and of course the night prior, she blocked me from everything, except from my phone, for some reason? And I fucking sobbed like I had NEVER done before. So, the next day, I tell my friends and they’re like, “She doesn’t deserve you..”, telling me shit that was supposed to make me feel better, but in all honesty, made me feel even shittier, knowing I was the one who pushed her to the breaking point. I texted her, saying, “I know you must hate me, and probably blocked me, but I’ll never forget you. <3″. And she responded, and I was SHOOK the fuck out. But alas, that response baited out another argument, finalizing the loss of our friendship. Yet my possessive ass, STILL, could not let her go. So after 3 months of talking through my friend, I got her skype. (through a new skype since she blocked my last one). I was really REALLY nervous, and asked how she was and shit, I could bet money she was glaring at the screen, but I got her discord, and our old messages of our fight came up.. it was awkward as hell. I asked her if we were ever going to be friends again, after what I did, and she said, “Maybe, but we’re never going to be at the point we were at.” That kinda stung, but I understood where she was coming from. Few months of talking, and here’s where the quips come in. I’ll post a moodboard in chat, and one of the characters will have “liar” in there, and she’d say, “Oh, you’re totally that one.” And maybe I’m overreacting, but I can’t say that didn’t hurt, and totally doesn’t help the fact I can’t forgive myself.. And so, a few days ago, I went swimming. (I’m a total homebody, so even going outside of the house is a complete oddity, and totally unlike myself.) I’m dramatic AS FUCK. I’m slightly sunburnt? I’m fucking dying. That’s just me! That’s how I am! So, I text her like, “Friend, I got sunburnt, waahhh, this is why I never go outside.” Her response, “Oh no, you did a thing! That people do! What *ever* is the poor kiry going to do? /fake cry/”. That really unsettled me, and I was like, “Jesus dude, I’ll leave you alone, fuck.” I start talking about how much I hate people, and how my mom’s boyfriend was over for the weekend, and how he hates people as much as I do. She responds with a, “Well, he’s a grown man, he probably has a reason to hate people more than an anti-social child.” Deciding to block her wasn’t a finger snap decision. I came really close to asking her if she was going to miss me if I blocked her, but after talking to TWO different friend groups if I should just block her out of the blue, or talk to her first, both of them said “Straight out block the bitch.” It took me a while, but I did block her, and I can’t say I regret it.. But I do regret having someone to talk to, I feel weird talking to a irl friend, since they know all about me. I have no online friends to talk to that won’t completely judge me. My family won’t take me to therapist, and I don’t have the willpower to even go. Online therapy requires you to sign-up and wait, but when you’re in the middle of a FUCKING panic attack, you can’t really sign up fucking can you? Oh, but when you do??? “Sorry, you’re too young.” Excuse me? What does age have anything to do with the fact I’M STILL DEPRESSED AND I STILL NEED TO FUCKING SPEAK TO SOMEONE. .. Sorry.