#I MISS THIS EXACT JUNGKOOK DO YOU UNDERSTAND | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

armpirate · 2 years

Text

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 22

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

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MASTERLIST

My fist hits the boxing bag, moving the whole thing forwards while making the chains that hold it sound loud. I only stop after I hear Melanie cheer me up on my back.

After overthinking all these days being closed inside my house and only leaving it to go grocery shopping or to work, I decided to join them in one of their kickboxing classes. And I'll say they were right, I needed to do this.

—I don't wanna be the person that made you so mad —Soo jokes.

If only she knew it was her brother.

It's been a week since we argued. No calls, no messages, nothing. He totally disappeared after everything that happened the last time we saw each other, which leads to me not knowing anything about him.

Even if I don't really blame him for keeping some distance, I'm still annoyed over the fact that Jungkook didn't try to reach out to me. And if he's waiting for me to take the first step and call him first, he'll die waiting.

—Yeah, you've looked off these few days —unlike our two other friends, Tammy keeps her serious expression—. Is everything alright?

Obviously I can't tell them I'm pissed because of Jungkook. Not only because we both agreed that no one should know about our thing, but because I don't want to deal with the amount of questions that would come right after me opening my mouth.

—It's nothing —I answer, my breath shaking because of the exercise I pushed my body to—. Just a lot of stress lately.

—If you need to talk about it, do it —Soo gives one final punch to the boxing bag—. I love a good rant.

Both Melanie and Tammy encourage me to speak. And while they're at it, I try to think of a way to tell them what's going on without giving out any details about Jungkook or our deal.

—I met someone, weeks ago —I start—. Thing is, I like spending time with him, and I thought he also did. But the other day we argued because of something he said, and it's been a week since I last heard of him.

—Oh, that boy ain't showing up ever again —Tammy gets scolded by Melanie right after saying that.

—Most probably he doesn't know how to address the situation —Soo mentions—. Men are like kids, so it's a matter of time until he decides to reach out to you —she shrugs—. If he likes you, he'll come back. And if he doesn't come back, fuck him.

—If it was his fault, he'll eventually talk to you and will try to make things up —Melanie continues—. Either way, don't text him first. Like Soo said, if he cares and wants to solve things, he'll try to talk to you.

—And if he doesn't, he isn't worth it —Tammy stands next to Melanie—. If you ever just happen to see him, ignore him. He doesn't deserve your attention if he isn't able to own his mistakes.

It isn't hard for me to understand they're right. I've been thinking the exact same way since he decided to leave my house last time we were together, and that's exactly why I haven't texted him yet and why we haven't seen each other for a week.

I must be missing him a lot though, because not only I can't stop thinking about him, I also see him everywhere. But I know it must be something other than just my brain, because he's looking way too beautiful to be an illusion. And Soo confirms that when she smiles and waves at him.

The moment Jungkook's eyes lie on me, I feel the need to hide under a rock. It's the first time in seven days that we see each other, and it has to be at my worst, when I'm sweating, out of air, and probably my face is red because of the exercise I'm not used to. Meanwhile, he's looking all hot and fresh with that black tank top and a pair of gym shorts that fall neatly over his knees. For one fast second I think he must've cut his hair, but he turns his head to the trainer when a loud "Jaykay" comes out of his mouth. He has his -still purple- hair collected with a hair tie.

Life's so unfair.

—Guys, get in pairs —our trainer screams, interrupting his chat with Jungkook.

Melanie and Soo get together, and move to one of the boxing bags somewhere in the room; Tammy has totally disappeared as I turn, and it doesn't take me long until I find her giggling with her gym crush -she wasn't lying when she said she'd dump me for a cute boy.

I'm trying to find any other girl that could be free, but all of them have come with friends and are already in pairs. Turning on my feet, I see a not mind-blowing handsome but cute guy walking to me, although he suddenly stops and walks in the opposite direction again. At first, I think it could've been my resting bitchy face doing the bad work, but I realize he was looking over my shoulder.

Even if I'm not looking at him, I feel his presence on my back as he moves and throws his boxing gloves on the floor before he walks to me again. And suddenly, my hair free falls on my back. But it doesn't take much for him to hold it all up and style it on a messy bun.

I hate how the hair on my nape and forearms lift just with his touch. I can't stand the way my body reacts whenever he's close to me.

—What are you doing? —I turn to him, once he's done— Your sister is there.

—They all are busy with their things —he walks back to his gloves.

Anyway, I turn to them, just to find Melanie's and Soo's backs facing me while they're practicing. And, on the other side of the room, Tammy is too busy trying to win that guy over.

I turn again to face him. Big mistake. That full sleeve tattooed arm, combined with the red and black boxing gloves covering his hands is making my mind go places.

—I'm not doing this with you —I assure him, as soon as I see him walking to me.

—Too bad I'm the only one free.

—Then I'll change partners with someone —I look around.

Jungkook's soft voice draws my gaze back to him. It's the way he calls my name with such peace and how his eyes are desperately looking for some type of cooperation on my side that almost makes me forget what happened. Almost.

I move to the boxing bag when he steps closer to me. Am I avoiding him? Yes. And I don't care if he's aware.

—We need to talk about what happened —he throws the first punch, making my body move with it.

—Do we? —I cut him off— Because I don't think we have anything to talk about when you disappeared for a week.

I'm annoyed enough to let my tongue run with whatever it wants. After giving his second punch, he rolls his tongue through his cheek, and tilts his head before he tries to speak again. But he decides to keep his mouth shut, and go back to doing the exercises we were supposed to be doing.

Although we are silent, the tension is obvious. I keep my eyes on him all the time, waiting for his words although I said myself I didn't want to hear him; and Jungkook keeps looking at me through his eyelashes, groaning with every hit of his fist until we change places.

—I wanted to call you —he assures me.

That only makes me scoff, while waiting for the excuse he's going to come up with right after.

—What was it? You lost your phone? Broke it? —I change my position, so I can kick the boxing bag.

—I was embarrassed.

That statement makes me stop for a second, just to look at him and find him fixing his gaze on me, with a genuine expression showing off he was, in fact, embarrassed. He seems ashamed right now just to be remembering it, by the way he keeps biting the inside of his lip.

—I'm sure you're used to being an asshole like that —I go back to my punching and kicking exercises.

—Not with you though. And I didn't know how to reach out to you after I behaved like that —he sighs—. You had every right to be pissed off that night. I was a douche, that comment was...

—Disgusting? —I gasp— It was. And don't try to say you didn't feel every single word. You said it because you were annoyed, I get it, but that doesn't change the fact that somewhere, in the back of your head, you don't think those words aren't true.

—I never said I didn't believe those weren't true —I bite my lip, trying to understand what kind of fucked up apologize this is—. The wording was fucked up because it came up as an attack to you, but would you be really looking in my direction if you had more choices?

Is he kidding? You'd have to be blind to avoid looking in his direction even if there were millions of choices. But I understand what he means, I guess. This deal brought us together. If it hadn't been for this, we probably wouldn't be talking except for the fact that we are in the same circle of friends. And I could ask him the same question, but he does have different choices. And still gave up on them.

Where is he even trying to go with this conversation?

—It doesn't change the fact that you were offensive for no reason —I face him.

—I didn't mean it that way. I... —when I look at him again, he's struggling to find the right words— I'm sorry about what I said.

I don't answer him, instead I go back to giving several punches on the boxing bag, until one of those punches goes straight to his stomach. Jungkook's surprised by the sudden attack, yet it seems like I've hit a wall by how he shows no pain.

—This conversation isn't over —I assure him—. Don't think everything is set and done only because you apologized.

He smirks at my comment, nodding before we switch positions again. It's unbelievable how a few words have made all the tension disappear and turn it into playful smiles and sneaky glances.

I take longer than the girls to get in the shower. Actually, I wait until everyone in the locker room has either left or is inside the individual showers. I feel weirded out and unsure of getting naked in front of so many people, even if they're of the same sex, and that's exactly why I've been messing with my phone, fully clothed, until the room was empty and silent.

Not for long though.

Asshole: Can I come to your place?

I think it through, and I know it's a bad idea. For some reason, he feels way too comfortable in my house, and that's exactly why I suggest we meet at his place instead. He responds with a silly thumbs up GIF before he disconnects.

✸ ✸ ✸

I know meeting up at his place is a bad idea as soon as I see myself waiting downstairs, moving back and forth unsure of whether I should leave or go up to his place. I'm falling for my own trap right now, yet I need answers from him. He wanted communication, and it's what we are going to do right now.

Jungkook looks nervous when he opens the door for me. I've been here before, yet it seems like it's the first time I'm around. And in a way, it's like that. I'm not here for the deal, I'm here because we need to talk, we need to let each other know what's going on through our heads to be able to continue everything where it was. It's been a long week.

—Do you want something to drink? —he asks, pointing to his back, towards the kitchen counter.

As I shake my head, he drops his hand to his side and lets his body fall to the black leather sofa. Aware that I'm still standing, he pats the free place next to him. And I take the invitation, walking to that spot under his attentive gaze.

I play with my fingers on my lap, moving one thumb over the other as I try to think of a way to start the conversation. It'd be a good thing if I knew where to start exactly.

—I crossed the line the other day —I nod, confirming what he's saying—. And hiding for a week didn't make it any better.

—No. Because it seemed like you didn't care —I look at him, but he avoids my eyes—. It felt like I was the one who had to go after you to make things up.

—I didn't know how to do it —he scratches the back of his head—. I didn't know how to properly reach out to you after that night. I wasn't sure if texting you out of nowhere or going to your place would be invasive.

—But coming to the training wasn't? —I lift my eyebrow.

—Was it that obvious I went because of you?

Pressing my lips together, I nod. I'm sure he's pretty well into boxing to the point that he wouldn't join a random training, that allows people like me -that hasn't done boxing once in their life.

—I rather train by myself —he sighs—. But Soo told me you were going, too. I saw the chance, and I took it.

—So your plan was to come to the training, and?

—Apologize —he finishes.

—Right —I move my gaze, losing it somewhere on my lap—. You know, I wasn't annoyed because of the jealous act. That pissed me off, but not because you were jealous, but because you feel like you're free to meet up with someone, yet that same rule doesn't apply to me. I don't like the double standards. And then you said that crap, acting like I'm only doing this because you're the only one I can do it with...

—How did you feel when I said that?

I dare to look at him when he asks that. Big mistake. His big brown eyes pierce on mine, but not the way they usually do. He's waiting for my answer, and he's getting ready to examine every corner on my face to tell whether I'm keeping things to myself or not.

How did I feel? I felt like all these weeks were a waste of time, like nothing has moved forward between us two because there's only one reason why we're still in contact. And it made me scared of the day this all ends, because I'm not ready to lose whatever it is we have.

—Pathetic —I let out a sigh—. I felt pathetic. It made me feel like you were doing me a favor and just saw me as that.

He waits. Jungkook presses his lips together, and I see him thinking again. I can almost see through his eyes the words forming in his head.

—I promise I didn't mean it that way —he assures—. It pissed me off how you said you regretted the deal. I said the first thing that crossed my mind. How you talked about it... it made me feel like you're only talking to me because of that. Like all of these moments are only because you need my help —he's about to lay a hand on my knee, but I see his palm going back to his lap—. You're not pathetic. I'm an asshole for making you think that way.

I try to hide my shock by his words. It really makes me wonder if I'm hearing properly, or I'm just projecting my own thoughts onto him.

—You're an asshole —I second what he said, trying to go on with the conversation as fluently as possible—. But get pizza for dinner and I'll consider forgiving you.

He gives me a tiny smile, patting my head before he leans over the table to reach his phone. He then turns to me again.

—Ham and cheese?

Of course, he already knows that. We've ordered pizza way too many times when we met up, and he knows I like it simple. He scrunches his nose with a smile when I nod, eyes squinting and small wrinkles forming on their corners as he sees the confirmation to his question.

Forty minutes later, we're both lying on his couch, eating the pizza he ordered while watching the most gore film that's ever been made. At some point, when the killer tears one of his victim's body apart with a chainsaw, Jungkook asks:

—Does this make us psychopaths?

—Maybe —I nod, while chewing on my food.

He chuckles, and stops when he realizes there's only one slice of pizza left in its box. And we know what that means.

—You had the last one the last time —I whine.

—And you had the last one the last last time —he emphasizes his words pointing at the back with his thumb.

And that only leaves us with one solution: rock-paper-scissors. We both use the same ones a few times, until he finally uses scissors and I'm left with my flat hand in the air while he celebrates, jumping on his seat with a big smile on his face. But when I'm about to take my eyes off him, I see his hands starting to rip the slice apart, turning one slice into two.

—Here —he hands it to me.

—Thank you —I smile shyly.

I help him pick up all the stuff once the movie finishes, and I start thinking I should be heading home at this point while he's putting our two glasses in the sink. It's late and, unlike me, he has to wake up early to go to the studio. But Jungkook doesn't let me take one step away from him, he pulls me closer and presses his body against mine, wrapping one of his hands around my neck and the other one on my waist.

His lips feel soft on mine when they're moving slowly, tasting every single second. I had no idea how bad I missed kissing him until now. How was I able to go a full week without this?

He moves back, yet our noses are still touching, his lips are still rubbing mine and his warm breath is making me go crazy. My heart beats hard against my chest when I dare to open my eyes, just to find his looking into mine with attention.

—Stay the night —he whispers—. Nothing has to happen. Just stay.

I'm unable to say no. I don't want to say no. But I'm also unable to say a single word, so I just nod, captivated by his big dark eyes, hopeful for the answer I've just given him.

Jungkook leads the way, still holding my hands on his back as if I could get lost in his house, as if I hadn't been here before.

Dressed in one of his oversized t-shirts, I lie next to him. Eyes fixed on the ceiling, unable to sleep, because my head is spinning around some questions still.

—Let it out.

—What? —I look at him confused.

I was so absorbed in my own thoughts, I wasn't aware he was looking at me all this time.

—Whatever is running up here —he caresses my temple—, let it out.

—Do you think Soo knows?

—Doubt it. Why?

—You said she told you I was there today.

I must be in a different dimension, because I don't get what's so funny about what I've just said, while he's cackling next to me.

—All night you've been thinking about that? —he lifts his eyebrows surprised— She said Tam, Mel and you were there. She didn't single you out. It was a general statement to encourage me to join her. She knows I've had a hard time socializing with people.

—So she invites you to places to get you to open up? —he nods— That's sweet.

Jungkook having a hard time socializing with people? That alone totally breaks me out and leaves me confused for a few minutes. He doesn't seem the type who has a hard time meeting new people and molding into their groups.

—Fake it 'till you make it —he sighs.

—I have a hard time believing you struggle with that.

—I find it easy to meet people on a superficial level. I struggle when I have to open up and actually build friendships.

Well, that makes sense. And it's also sad. I can't help but wonder what might've happened to him for it to be this way. Actually... After what he told me about his ex-girlfriend, I could kind of understand where it's coming from.

We're back to being in silence. And under Jungkook's imposing look, I feel forced to look at the ceiling again, thinking that would help me to distract myself, but I still feel his eyes piercing on my neck.

—Let it out —he insists again.

—Why did you meet up with Leslie?

—I shouldn't have —this time, he's the one that looks away as soon as my eyes lie on him—. She showed up, and wanted to apologize properly for what happened between us. We had dated for too long, and I didn't want to hold the negativity any longer. You know, be cordial with her, move on from all that.

I'm pissed just thinking about her reaching out to him as if she hadn't done anything. But I understand what he means by moving on and closing a chapter, as it should be closed, when he was forced to tear that same chapter apart from the book.

—I didn't tell you through text because I didn't think I had to —he shrugs—. But I was going to tell you when I drove to the bar. You don't have to worry about her —his hand reaches mine under the covers—, seriously.

I'm overwhelmed by all the emotions that fill my body in those last five seconds, while I'm giving all my effort trying not to smile. I feel happy, yet at the same time I don't fully understand why I'm suddenly so relieved and happy.

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #tattoistjk #tattooau #armpirate

29 notes · View notes

aajjks · 6 months

Note

I think I know what to write about… for a good story. I am terrified because there are many trigger warnings. Do I have a title.. hahahah no, but I’ll think of one. I will warn you when it starts to get graphic.

For this story they didn’t you know… do the baby tango if you know what I’m saying. Oh let us say he killed for her and she didn’t know, and they never told each other that they like each other. Oblivious Y/n strikes again… also this is my version of the story so it will match at the end.

_________

dh! Prisoner Jk x dh! Prisoner Y/n

The day feels very dreary to you as you visit Jungkook. Prison guards greet you with professional smile and a curt not. It has been about two weeks since you have been to see Jungkook, you really miss him. You see him see you and his face brighten once you are at his door again.

Jungkook smiles softly and says “I missed you and I am glad that you keep visiting me.” He reaches his hand out of the jail cell and he whimpers out “Let me hug you please.”

You comply as you step closer to him and you let him hug you. As you let him hug you, your mind wonders why his dad told you to move on from Jungkook. You were so zoned out that he stops hugging you.

He looks at you looking away from him, did he overstep a boundary? Why do you look so zoned out? Are you ok? Why are you not focused on him? Look at him… pay attention to him. He snaps his fingers looking at you in concern.

You however snap out your thoughts and you looked over to see him looking concerned. You gasp and say “Oh- I am so sorry work has just been…” you cut yourself off wondering what to say as you notice his eyes darken.

You continue and say “It’s been busy and I am so sorry I haven’t been to see you.” You hold his hand to soothe his worries.

He sighs in relief and says “Y/n you should not be sorry for working, if it makes you happy then you should work. Getting out of the house is good for the brain, but don’t overwork yourself I would die if you went to the hospital for something and I didn’t know.”

You smile and giggle then say “Alright dad, I’ll be careful not to overwork myself.” You shake your head as he sticks his tongue out. The guard tells you that it’s time to go. You look at Jungkook and say “Goodbye Jungkook, until next time.”

You look at him one last time as he tries to stick his head out. You give him one last look and you say “Please be good so you can get out early”. You had to go home, but before then you had to go to the grocery store. You feel great after seeing Jungkook, you can’t wait for Jungkook to get out of prison, so you can get pass the guilt, regret and frustration even though you didn’t know the exact reason behind why Jungkook killed the cop.

The people pass by in slow motion as you get what you need for the upcoming days with your sister’s kids. You want them to feel at home with you and your pet cat, Snowball. You grab toddler plates, and food because your sister is out of town due to a business trip.

The drive home was quiet and peaceful, you honestly are glad little nieces and nephews are coming over. One of them is 5 and his name is EunJin, the second one and third one are twins and they are three and their names are Jaehoon and Jaehyun and the final one is three months old and the only girl and her name is Eunji.

Those babies are so adorable it triggers your cuteness aggression. You got baby fever looking at them all the time but you know Jungkook doesn’t want kids. It made you upset but you understand, in this economy where children get hurt and killed. The thought of someone hurting a child makes you mentally ill.

Once you got home, you put away your groceries and decorate your whole home with kid toys and play mats. You truly want the best for your family so you will make sure to be prepared. Your sister will come in the morning and you can not wait for the little ones to come.

You get ready for bed as you do your routine you get a text message from unknown.

Unknown: “darling, please answer my text. I am sorry for what happened earlier.”

You instantly block the number and you get ready for bed until your phone notifications get out of control. You look at the phone you have and saw that the unknown number was constantly sending you creepy messages.

The thought of someone hacking into your phone and erasing everything on there made you shudder. You turn off your phone for the night. You are charging it when this was going on, you have a long week with your nieces and nephews.

You were an only child until your parents adopted a child who was older than you. You instantly became attached to her and called her “unnie”. She of course cried on your shoulder and you cried with her because you didn’t know any better.

You two would annoy each other but you would never overstep any boundaries. Your father was a man of the military, he was a chief soldier. You heard the news of him dying and you cried your heart out of course, your mother told you with tears in her eyes.

Snowball is your emotion support cat that you rescued from dying and he is right there with you while going to sleep on your chest. You wake up to see your son on your and you smile thinking this is a small glimpse of what heaven is.

The morning is beautiful as you get ready to see your nephews and nieces. You are not exactly maternal but you will try for your big sister. You get ready for the day by eating breakfast and praying to God for those kids and yourself because you are not good with them.

The door bell rings and you run to the door and shake your inner turmoils away. You open the door and give them an excited squeal as the three who can walk yell “Auntie Y/n” and they hug you.

Your sister, Jiwoo smiles at you and kisses the top of your head. She says elegantly “Hello love, I see what you done with your home and I can’t be more proud. Thank you for doing this for me. I can’t even repay you enough and thank you enough for this. My boss will not let me have time for my own kids and-“ she pauses to collect herself as you give her tissues because you know how emotional she can get.

She takes them and says thank you again while putting EunJi down in the crib and she says “My lovely Y/n, please take care and if you are in need of anything. Please call me and let me know, my husband is in town, and you know his number alright.”

After letting her stay over for lunch she had to go and hugged all her babies and she leaves for her business trip. You look at the kids and say “Playtime, anyone?”

It was getting dark and you couldn’t help but have a feeling of dread. You can’t seem to shake it off but you stay strong for the children. They are all in the same room, and you are on the phone with your sister.

You are telling her how great her kids are, but then the feeling came back once you heard a beep signaling someone entered your house. You tell her to call her husband, and tell him to come here as fast as he can. You have to hang up the phone and you get Eunji and the other kids in a safe hiding area. You give your phone to EunJin and tell him trying not to cry “Hey sweetie, call 112 if something bad happens, your father will be on the way. I am going out there to make sure everything is alright, if anything do not come out until you see your father or I from your view.”

The young boy nods his head as you leave them because you have to check out the home. You have a feeling something bad is going to happen and you were right. There are two brute guys that look like Toji and Gojo but more creepy. You see if there are any weapons near you and you are filled with determination. If there isn’t any weapons then you will fight them, you got hands rated E for everyone.

They look at you and smirk and they come at you and you of course poke them in the eyes. They scream the one who looks like Toji says “I’m going make you regret that little girl!”

You look at him and laugh then fight him too, the one who looks like Gojo says “Little lamb give up you are a girl.” You got angry because of the misogynistic comeback and you flip them over and start rawdogging punches in their faces, you already smashed a vase on them.

You hear police sirens and you get off of the guy breathing heavily. Your eyes had a crazed look while you look at the cops with your hair a mess and your clothes ripped apart. You didn’t kill them, just knocked them out. So you are surprised one they yell “Get on your hands and knees.”

Your eyes has tears in your eyes as you are escorted out of the house. You lock eyes with Seokjin, your sister’s husband. He looks at you with worry and he sees his kids and he rushes over to them and they cry as they see you being arrested.

They do not give you any chance to explain, so you went quiet. You went to court and someone with power has enough to put you behind bars without parole. You are on your best behavior.

The courtroom felt so cold and emotionless that you couldn’t help but shiver. You don’t even know why you are the one who is going to jail for defending yourself and your sisters kids.

The judge looked at your posture and your face and this judge knows your innocent but someone who has power to make the judge feel small and overrule any attempt to get you out.

Your eyes has tears streaming down as you are headed to the detention facility. Seokjin is angry and the government and the police. He hates the fact that he couldn’t do anything due to the fact that someone in the government hated your guts, they had to because if that was his sister and she was protecting his children, she would be set free but why not you?! It’s blasphemy to him and he knows about your best friend name Jungkook. He wonders what is about to happen.

Your head is down, tears are filling your widened eyes. You get your picture taken and you are in the same prison that Jungkook is placed in. You are happy yet sad that this is going on. I guess you too are a prisoner of hate crimes that involve in protecting your loved ones.

Meanwhile Jungkook was in prison smiling at a picture of you he snuck in. Don’t ask him how but he is so in love with you that he would burn the world down, he is your biggest fan, your lover even though you are oblivious to him doing this for you. He couldn’t explain why he did it before he was taken away from you.

A week passed and Jungkook got concerned, what’s got you so busy. You better not have moved on NO YOU BETTER NOT! If he finds out that you moved on he will pound you so hard that you can’t walk or even think about anything but him. The thought of you being touched by someone other than him makes him punch a wall repeatedly. The walls are driving him mad and he needs you so much.

He whimpers as he felt junior get hard, oh he is hard for you that he starts to moan. He repeatedly chants your name like you are his religion. Once he gets out of jail, he will take you out and marry you on the spot so he can make love with you.

The thought of him being married to you made him calmer. Waaaaay calmer than just a while ago where he was chanting your name like a man in heat. He was so into it he didn’t know his father was standing right there.

He immediately got up and said “Hi… how are you? Why are you here?” He eyes were bugged out once his father shakes his head and said “Son did you ever learn your lesson?”

Jungkook tilts his head and says “You know paps I don’t think I have, I will always love Y/n, I plan on marrying her.” While he thinks to spite you as he looks at his father take in a breathe then he says his usual spill about how his son is in jail due to fleeting emotions.

Jungkook quickly stands up and stalks to his father and says with venom “You. Know. NOTHING. of. our. love!! You don’t want me happy? You don’t love me! GET OUT!!”

His father presses his lips together because he doesn’t like how his son loves someone that is beneath his shoe. He doesn’t like how his son would through away his family just for you, he needs to tarnish your reputation, make Jungkook believe that you are disgusting and marry someone of his choice, which is Sarang. She is a lovely woman for Jungkook, plus your mother looks smoking hot. He may have to kill Arya for your mother, she gives him life.

———————————-

Meanwhile you are frighten you have to share a cell with someone who has either killed someone or a petty thief. The woman looks at you and smiles the gently welcomes you with a hug. She says “Hello my name is Ma-Ri and you are innocent.” Your look made her continue “You smell different from the others, you smell like babies and sunshine.”

Your eyes widened in shock because how does she know you were taking care of your sisters children. Also how does this woman smell innocence? What was she smoking? Are you going to do psychedelics in here? She seemed to since your discomfort and said “Dovie, please do not be afraid. I heard about the bravery for what you did for those children. I am proud of you and you should not worry, you will get out of here……..soon.”

The elderly woman smiles at you and says “You can take the top bunk.” You nodded your head wanting nothing but to go to sleep. So you quickly go to sleep while the older woman stares at you in wonder. She will watch out for you, then she starts to pray over your life because she sees that you are going to need be strong.

The blaring sound of a horn is in your ear and you fall off the bed and stand in attention. All the inmates that in the women facility have to get check ups. You feel dread as you keep a straight face. You also wonder if Jungkook would ever see you in here.

You all get your physical exams and the examiner touch on your body feel too intimate for an examiner. This person was copping a feel and you had to take it knowing if you did something ridiculous you know your sentence would be longer.

Meanwhile Jungkook was getting angry at you for not visiting him. You must have forgotten about him, he sighs as he goes to the cafeteria. He hears small talk but he doesn’t care but he hears “(y/h/c, and y/s/c your hair color and your skin color) and he perks up a bit. He shakes his head and starts to eat.

Someone says to Jungkook “Hey man, I would love to mess with the new girl on the block, I bet she gives good head.” Jungkook has always been to himself and he ignores him and the prisoner doesn’t like that but has a plan to hurt pretty boy Jungkook.

The correction officers where there just in case anyone decides to get rough and rowdy. They all allow them to go outside for activities for about three hours. The guy has to be very careful while trying to start a riot but in the riot he will get his possie and get Jungkook to die.

Trigger warning: ⚠️❗️❗️

Somehow the guys who start the riot to get out of this unfair prison gets out of hand then the guy and the possie gets Jungkook and they fight him and stone him.

Jungkook fight with all his might but the stone made him stagger and he slips and gets tramped on and he passes out. Now the guards get scared because one the most powerful people’s son was unconscious.

They rush everyone to their cell and get him to an actual hospital. His father demands the staff to let him see him. Of course they could not do that because he was in critical condition and a thought in the fathers mind.

He calls Sarang to the hospital because he wants her to sign some papers. Once she got to the hospital and saw his father she looks at him in worry. He said to Sarang “Can you take care of my darling son, after the three year sentence. That Y/n is at fault, I hope she rots in prison if she ever gets in there.”

Sarang smirks then changes her expression and says “Do not worry, there will be justice for your son. I can nurse him back to health.”

His father smiled and says “Thank you Sarang, I knew I picked the right woman for him. You said you are a therapist right?” She nodded and he continued “Make him obsessive over you and make him forget about that evil wicked Y/n for the family”

Of course, finally she gets to shine and make Y/n suffer for taking her Jungkook away from her. She nods her head as his father lets her sign marriage papers.

End of Trigger warning: ⚠️❗️❗️

Meanwhile you were in prison scared because there was a riot in the men’s wing. You hope Jungkook got out and is out there living life. Some women have already asked you why you were in here. You told them you were in here for defending yourself and your nephews and nieces, and of course you got respect for that.

You also had to keep your head on and be alerted at all times. Some of these women have been licking their lips at you and you wonder why. You do not like being fresh meat, you need to know the ends and out of this prison.

The prison becomes welcoming to you due to the fact that the men you beaten up are in the hospital. You smile to yourself because you would do anything to protect family. You love fast and the furious movies because the main characters are like a family.

Well there are a few times you have been groped by correction officers and sometimes you get slapped around. You even try to have a voice or an opinion and they beat you. The elderly woman informs you that the news about you is false, because they are telling people that you are a child molester and killer, while you just look at her and shake your head.

It’s been a week since Jungkook has been in this hospital and he already has a wife that he forgot about, her name is Sarang. He can’t believe he forgot something as important as that, but it doesn’t feel right. Something in his heart is stirring in him but he doesn’t know what that was.

He tells Sarang what’s happening and she reassures him that she is his wife and they have been together since childhood. What he doesn’t know is she is not really reassuring him, she is disregarding you. She tells him when he gets better that he has to go back into the jail, because someone told them to let him back in. She didn’t like it but what good is it to argue, she has him and you don’t. The rumors of you being a child molester and killer are working, everyone hates you and she is loving it.

Once Jungkook was better he goes back to prison because the law said he needed to finish his sentence. So he is back in his cell, no picture not a think he saw. He sighed and didn’t know what to think about. He has gotten more jumpy and alert. His heart ached for some reason and it’s driving him mad.

Meanwhile both you and Jungkook are not aware of each other’s presence. You are in your cell with Ma-ri and you see Sarang looking at you intently as she says “Jungkookie is back, he was in the riot.”

You ignored the nickname as you stalk to her and say “What happened? What do you mean he is back?”

She looks you up and down with disgust and says “He has forgotten all about you, and he married to me.” She pulls out her phone to show you them kiss, and with a cherry on top she shows you her engagement ring.

You look at her with widened eyes as you try and navigate what you feel and how you should say something but she leaves laughing maniacally.

You however look lost and defeated, you have to accept that now. She has probably told Jungkook about the fake rumor. You wanted to punch her but you and Jungkook are friends…. Or so you thought. Do you love him? Yes… and your heart starts to ache.

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: ⚠️⚠️⚠️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

It’s been weeks and you are sore and sleep deprived. The correction officers have been torturing you. The correction officers have a meeting with all genders of prisoners.

The walk with the officers made you scared you have been feeling dread every day and today it was so intense that you were going to die. You are strategically placed behind Jungkook well not really behind him. You itched to give him a hug but you can’t hug another persons man.

The stage was lit and the chief correction officer starts of with why this prison is suppose to be a safe place for people but there are some of you due for execution.

The officer calls your name and you felt yourself yield up your spirit to God. You look everywhere, inwardly screaming. They drag you as you fight to stay alive, they can not be serious right now. They have to know you are innocent. You are put on your knees as you see the people you have beaten up.

You now know why you were placed here, and it’s all coming together in your head. They are going to humiliate you, rape you.

They start to slap you around then touch you in front of the people. While you are being sexually assaulted by people who civilized people go to in need of help, the chief says “This is what happens when you break the justice system, you get humiliated.”

They all but rip your clothes off and make you suck suck dick while you are getting pounded. The prisoners look disgusted, they all know you are innocent. Then you get stabbed, slammed repeatedly into the floor, and gagged, then they break both of your legs from your hip to your feet.

The scream you let out satisfied them as blood was everywhere. They put a bullet to your chest, or so the thought you slightly move so it hit your chest slightly close to your heart.

They drag you by the legs as you do not look at the prisoners because you are in shock. There was a barricade there due to the fact that some people would try and stop it. Your arms were above your head, there was no fight left into you, you look like a corpse.

You are thrown out to the dogs to eat you but the don’t. Instead they wag their tails and lick your wounds. You sobbed so hard the dogs stayed with you and whimpered as well. They bite your hair and drag you to a fence where people have escaped and successfully escaped.

You are shocked and petted their head and crawled out of there. You crawl and crawl until you find someone compassionate enough to get you. You see Namjoon, a old friend of Seokjin’s. Days passed and you felt like you are on the brink of death. He sees you and immediately takes you to his father.

Namjoon keeps talking to you as you felt yourself slipping. You are trying to hold on and you wonder what your life’s purpose was. You are determined to get out alive, and take Jungkook with you. He deserves the world but you don’t know how to give it to him, something feels forced. You did receive notes from his father warning you about letting Jungkook go.

You couldn’t do that after knowing what his father is capable of doing. You hate this, and look here you are at Namjoon’s father’s house. The house felt so warm and cozy as Namjoon hurriedly took you to his father, which is a retired nurse/doctor.

The older man looks at you and gasps, he automatically knew about the prison system and it’s messed up. He rushes over to your limp form. He performs surgery while Namjoon helps him.

End of MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING : ⚠️⚠️⚠️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Everything is so beautiful and peaceful, you want to stay here. You see your grandmother, you run to her because you miss her, she is closer to you and you think she is your mom, because she is the closest woman that will ever be a momma to you, or that’s what you felt whenever you were in her presence.

You grandmother told you to keep fighting and someone is going to need you, you have to trust that it will happen in time.

That’s when you wake up with both Namjoon and his father look at you in relief. His father asks if it’s ok to do test on you and you nod.

After a few hours they conclude what you already knew, you have been taken advantage of and you can’t feel your hips down to your feet.

Meanwhile Jungkook could not believe what just transpired. What the freaking heck is going on? Why did he feel like he wanted to kill everyone, he has a wife. His heart was beating out of his chest. Everyone was escorted back to their cells. He was going crazy because he starts crying and laughing at the same time.

He does not know why but your face of pain flashes through him and it would NOT leave him alone. He has a wife… he has a wife. Why was he thinking of a child molester when he has a wife… but his heart told him that you are innocent.

Meanwhile with his father, Sarang and his mother. They heard of your execution. He smirk and said “Thanks for taking out the trash.” He hangs up and hugs Sarang and says to her “Daughter, you don’t have to worry anymore let’s all celebrate.” His mother on the other hand hates this, she knows you are innocent and are the love his life. Everytime she brings up Y/n she notices how he perks up and his eyes become so doe-like with galaxy in his eyes. She is also determined to get you back but her husband has plans to get rid of her, because of your mother.

Your mother only wants power and money, she wants to control everyone. Arya thought and she isn’t going down without a fight. Your mother is not so sleek, her husband also isn’t sleek. They go at it like horny teens in heat, she is done with the both of them. Arya knew he loved another woman, that woman happened to be your mother. Your father adored your mother as well and they all went to school together, so she knew that your mother planed to get rid of him once she was done with him.

See your mother is a psycho that loves to please herself, she doesn’t know what love is. Arya wants you in the family, you are far more supportive of Jungkook and he found his jingle bell. Arya couldn’t be more proud of Jungkook protecting his love. She would do the same if it was someone else, she made sure once she dies or gets kill by her own husband that the money goes to her precious little man.

It has been months since Jungkook has been in this cell and his eyes look crazed. He is tired of being pushed down by his own wife. He is breathing so hard right now, he keeps having dreams of you. His father gets contacted that Jungkook is loosing it, and the shots to keep him asleep isn’t working.

So the bail him out a week before his ending week and of course it is erased from his permanent record. His father looks at him and his mother is with him to. Jungkook looks at his mom and smiles. He hugs her because he loves her more.

He smiles at all of them and says “Who is Y/N? Why do I feel so strongly for her.. I mean I love her.” Sarang is jealous and says “A child molester, you shouldn’t fantasize about that evil person. Here I upped your dosage because of your headaches.”

Jungkook thanked her with a smile not knowing those are not headache pills but prescriptions to make someone forget someone.

_______________

Meanwhile you have been healing with these rods in your legs. Namjoon has been right by your side as well as his father. You do not know why but you feel so safe with these men. They also take you to your therapist which isn’t Sarang. They know about her and they don’t like her. Of course your family comes to visit you and your nieces and nephews comfort you the most.

EunJin cries because he said “It’s my fault you are going through this.”

You say “No baby, you did the right thing. None of this is your fault, it’s something out of your control, and mine. Sometimes God gives his toughest soldiers the toughest battles to show them that they can fight, and never give up because he is there with you, so lean on him.”

EunJin hugs and you and keeps crying as you keep comforting him. All of them smile sadly at you as you have tears in your eyes again but you don’t let them fall. You know your sister is a Christian so you tell him something of that sort. You may have needed to hear that.

You wanted to get out of the house and help around, once you are able to feel your legs again. It took about a year for everything to come back together. So you help by gardening the garden of their farm. Yes they have people to help them with their cattle and chickens and farm animals. You are glad that they care about the environment.

You are minding your own business as you feel a arrow pierce your neck. You take it out quickly to find out it’s a sleeping dart. You pass out and you are taken by this mysterious person.

A week pass and you have water thrown on you and you shriek and get up. You have been kidnapped by Jungkook’s father.. oh eewww not that sleaze bag. You know you are going to die. You are shackled to the wall, you shake as he smirks at you and says “little lamb, little lamb, your mother would be proud of me. Now suffer.”

He walks away and you are confused at what he meant by that. You have met him with his wife, Jungkook’s mother Mrs. Arya. You want to cry because everything seems so complicated and frustrating. You remind yourself what you said to EunJin and you smile.

Jungkook seems very happy with Sarang because he is slowly forget about you. You never made an effort to be with him and you are the reason that he was in jail. She told him that you were crazy and said that you are the reason that he was in there.

He started to hate you and want to kill you, he becomes obsessed with Sarang because she helps him and gives him very much appreciated head. Sarang couldn’t be happier that her plan was working.

Jungkook gets a call that his mother has died and he tells Sarang and she gasps and they bother rush over. Sarang cries because Jungkook hovers over his mother.

No one knows that she is pretending, she found out your mother was doing something behind her husbands back and she “killed” her. Arya couldn’t move she was doing a kill bill move. She is going to come out of the grave and come back for her daughter in law (not Sarang) and her precious baby boy.

Arya looks at her “husband” and he makes a scene and she wanted so badly to laugh but you all will see the wrath of a mother once she comes back. She will come back for you because you deserve to get out.

They hold a service for the late Arya, and they just put her in the ground. Jungkook is crying mess right now and he can’t think straight. Sarang let’s him alone because she knows if she got in the way of his grieving process he might kill her.

Jungkook didn’t know where he was going, he went to go get drinks to get hammered. Once he get hammered, he goes straight to a bed once where you are currently at.

You gulp and he looked so drunk and out of it, you wonder what happened, you are not in the bed, you are in a makeshift cell. You don’t dare move, you even look away, because he became hotter once out of prison. You flinch when you hear growling and you look at him. He looks at you with such hatred and he says “Well well, well look at what the strays brought in. You look disgusting. You deserve everything that comes to you, you child molester.” *hiccups* “you need to die… you killed her! You killed my mom! I hate you!” He screamed at you, Sarang rushes in thinking he hurt himself but once she sees this, she enjoys it.

You didn’t know what to do, so you just sit there and take whatever he is saying. You realize someone killed his mom to blow it out of proportion and make you the bad guy. This man is hammered drunk and you can’t reason with stupid so you stayed quiet staring at him waiting for him to finish his anguish.

He looks at you one more time and right in front of you kisses Sarang. You are numb and stay emotionless staring at them. If he can move on what can you do, let go… yea he deserves someone. You know he is being lied to. He has to understand that he is being lied to… right.

They leave you alone in your thoughts while you are staying calm. Jungkook was on fire, he wanted to kill someone. Sarang tries to seduce him but he pushes her away roughly and walks away yet again.

For some reason he can’t get you out of his head. He slides down a wall and feels some reason at peace. He passes out and starts to sleep.

You are so sleepy that you go to sleep not knowing Jungkook was right outside your door feeling peaceful. Sarang finds him there and gets pissed but drags his heavy body back to their bed.

Sarang never got to make love with him, she truly thinks you still have a hold on him and no matter how many injections they give him for “blood pressure” or the pills for his “headache”. So she plans to poison you with the most lethal poison that ever existed.

After a few days you are starving and every now and then Jungkook peeks his head to “check in on you” but it’s not a regular check in it’s the most brutal things he says he is going to do to you that really make you feel like giving up.

How can you love him? How? Why did it have to be him? You do not like this berating behavior but you have to stay strong even if he sweet talks you to talk to him. You will not give in to him like you used to, well not now. He looks blood thirsty, like he is going to kill you. What you didn’t know Jungkook just wanted you to look at him once more, he doesn’t know why but he wants to love you.

Major Trigger warning: ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️

Sarang notices you not talking to Jungkook and it makes her happy you know your place. While Jungkook is off, she takes a day off to berate you now. You stare at her with an empty face then you notice something moving behind her. Your eyes widened once you see your own mother behead this crazy woman. Then your mother kept stabbing her then she looks at you and smirks then points at you “This is your fault, your fault, you weak and pathetic little girl.”

You shudder because your mother is back in your life and you don’t know how but the way she looks at you with her dark eyes makes you shake because she is your first abuser. You really want Jungkook in here right now, but you know he is going to kill you. Then the woman fake cries “Jungkook! Jungkook! Please get in here the crazy child molester killed your wife!”

She put it on speaker for you to hear him “…..EXCUSE ME? EXPLAIN THAT TO ME MRS. SOYOUNG?!”

She says “Sarang was just giving her some water and then… then she had a sword she must have snuck while going to the bathroom and and … she beheaded your wife.”

You stood there amazed at what bullish that woman was sprouting. You couldn’t believe this woman and you don’t understand why your dad ever had you. You began to cuss your dad out in your head but then his words rang true in your ears and mind immediately calming you

“My angel, you must never give ear to lies, always discern what people are saying.”

“My angel, I will always love you and I will immediately fight for you to stay alive.”

“You have my blessings to marry whomever makes you happy, I love you so much my darling Angel. God be with you.”

You sigh in relief because you haven’t heard your dad’s voice in along time. You try not to smile while you see Jungkook storming a rampage. Your mother already left while you zoned out. He screamed at you that you are crazy and this and that.

You tune him out and he said “I will never love a psychotic dog like you, I wish I never met you, I hate you. I will be glad that you are gone… first my mom now my wife! You should be in hell for what happened… I will take you there. He actually pulls apart the makeshift fence of a cell.

He stalks up to you and starts to punch you and then he starts to choke you. You smile finally ending this torture but he looks at you and spits in your face then says “Nah, that’s to easy… no I will torture you until you beg me to die.”

You look at him numbly and said calmly yet firmly “I am sorry but you shouldn’t believe in lies. Your father wants me dead and my mother wants me dead. Mrs. Soyoung is my mother. Whatever you do to me I have already went through. Please kill me Mr. Backstabber…”

He rolls his eyes then he smirks and says “oh yea you were humiliated by the police for being a child molester, and you still survived. Heh, alright I’ll kill you…” he starts to choke you again until his father comes to him and says “Son we must grieve for your wife, we both will deal with her later. I have a plan, do not worry my boy, we will do it together. He looks back at you with a sinister expression as you lay on the floor. Once you know they left with the body and everything was quiet.

You couldn’t help but cry and scream, you lost your best friend forever. All of your energy is gone out of you as you lay there in self pity. You do not know someone was in the room watching you with a their heart breaking.

Arya came back but she disguised herself as ghost face because that’s her sons favorite character from Scream. She walks over to you and says in the speaker box that changes your voice.

“Y/n tsk tsk, are you going to give up like that?” Your eyes snap open to see Ghost faces Jungkook’s favorite character from us favorite move, Scream. You slowly get up and said “What else do I do, everything has been taken away from me. I mean I still have my sister and her family…” you cut yourself off as you are reminded you need you need to fight for them. “Dad is gone….I wish I could hug him for the last time.”

You are weary of this person but at the same time you had a feeling you could trust this person. You do not ask about the person’s identity. You do ask “Can I get out of here, how much longer do I suffer, I want to jump off a cliff. I beg you to kill me.” The ghost faced Arya felt heartbroken by your voice, you are absolutely about to be soulless.

Meanwhile Jungkook’s brain keeps repeating “Mr. Backstabber.” Over and over again, and that is the first time he has heard your voice and he felt aroused, and he didn’t know why. He didn’t cry over Sarang which is unusual to see from people outside of the relationship. He keeps zoning out on your face and he wants to kiss you but he can’t. Right?

Jungkook’s face is expressionless his father notices and he knew you had a hold on him. He must starve you and thirst you. He notices Jungkook zoning out and he did have a girlfriend which is your mother. He didn’t know she was your mother.

Jungkook will never forgive his father for replacing his mother, he hates cheaters the most. He wants to kill his father for moving on so fast. How long have the been together.. behind his mothers back.

Arya sighs as she looks at you, she wants you out of the house. She is going to kill your mother, she is going to discipline her son not to touch you like that again. She feeds you food and gives you a secret box that she hauled in here by herself so you can have snacks and drinks. You passed out on her and she carries your weak body to the bed. She sighs and says “I am so sorry that you were the one my husband hates. None of this is your fault but I will be with you every step of the way. I wish I could take away your pain.”

She has to leave right now so she does and skedaddles away from you. She has a plan to make your mom vulnerable. You wake up with Jungkook hovering above you and he splashes the water on you. You shiver again and you look down as he calls you the ugliest thing known to mankind. He even takes a picture of you and to do not give him a reaction. He wants to break you like you broke him by killing his mom, and then proceeding to kill his wife.

He wants to see your tears for what happened it someone’s fault. The way you make him crazy too, he’d pay the devil to get rid of you. What he doesn’t know is he is hurting himself, he is talking about himself.

You slowly look up at him and keep a level headed eye contact. You want to vomit because how can he say these things, do you actually love him now… after everything he is saying. You do and you smile at him instead and he screamed at you “WHAT WAS THAT?! YOU!” He pulls on his hair aggressively and walks away very flustered.

After a few days you are out of the cell serving the family and of course they spit it out. You wanted to roll your eyes at them. You hate Jungkook’s father and your mother, lying to someone who has a brain injury is disgusting and disrespectful to anyone who hit their heads and have amnesia.

One day you accidentally made your mother mad, you don’t know what it was nor do you care. So she kills Jungkook’s father and look who she blames, you. Not only she blames you she got into a argument with him just before and told him that she just wanted his money and he looked at her in disgust then he said something that made her psychotic which was “Arya was so much better, why did you kill her?”

Jungkook sees his father on the ground bloody and of course he doesn’t feel a thing except joy. He smiles for the first time and he says to you “Thanks, you don’t know what you did but my father is a butthole for cheating on my mom, I hate cheaters.”

You look at his hand on your shoulder and shrug it off and walk away because you don’t want him touching you. Not after he choked you, you give yourself respect but you still want to hug him because his life is falling apart and you can do nothing but watch. You really think it’s your fault as his words harshly ring bells

“it’s your fault.””

“Why don’t you die?”

“You are disgusting to mankind.”

“I wish you were dead.”

“I wish I never met you.”

“Whore!”

“Cheater!”

“Child molester.”

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️‼️‼️‼️‼️

You shake your thoughts away as you clean and clean but you were not expecting to walk in the living room seeing your mom and Jungkook doing it.

Their moans are too much but once Jungkook looks at you his breathe got caught into his chest. You fall on your butt as tears build and build until you couldn’t hold it in. You let it all out and pull yourself into a corner hugging your knees and you say “You win… you both win.” You are hurting, not because Jungkook was touching your mother, no it was the fact that your mother knew exactly how to break you.

Why? Why do you have this effect on him? Who are you to him? You make him want to hold you and tell you everything is alright. Why does he feel so much when you break him? While your mom whimpered in impatience and he looks down at what he done. He just wanted to break you and he feels guilty. He got off of your mother and said “I can’t do it, I don’t know why Mrs. Soyoung but I can’t.”

She screams at him and says “THAT LITTLE SLUT HAS THAT MUCH OF AN EFFECT ON YOU, I WILL GET WHAT I WANT AND THAT IS YOU!”

Jungkook then realizes what she mean and he grabs the knife from her and starts to mutilate her in a fit of psychotic outrage. He realizes she killed his supposed to be wife, Sarang, and killed his father to get to him. She was going to kill you to and he doesn’t know why but he was violently ill right now. He starts screaming “YOU F-ING USED ME AND MADE MY DAD CHEAT?! YOU PSYCHOTIC B-“

END OF MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: ⚠️⚠️⚠️‼️‼️‼️

You rush over timidly as you pull him off and hug him while he throws the knife and hugs you crying. You see Ghost face and was about to say something until the person says “Did you learn your lesson boy? You should never trust in lies but be discerning.”

Your eyes open up wide because your dad use to say that. Then the person says “That is Y/N defender of the children, not a child molester.”

You felt his grip tighten on your waist as he looked at this person. You say “Wh-who exactly are you?” That’s when you both were blown away to see Mrs. Arya, Jungkook’s mother smiling at you both so softly.

Jungkook brokenly asks “M-m-mom is- is that- really you?” She smiles with tears in her eyes as you move out of the way so she could hug him. You do not get very far as she hugs you as well. You sob softly not helping the feeling of being loved by a mom.

You three hug each other and she tells you to go back to your family. Jungkook looked at her and she says “You still need time to adjust yourself sweetie. I called her sister and she will come pick her up shortly.”

Jungkook looks at you and you look back at him and bow as you hear the car horn. You again do not get very far as your sister burst through the door with tears streaming down her face as she hugs you.

You let her hug you and you said “See I never gave up and I’m still alive even though I’m going to need therapy. I’m still standing.. haha” She laughs at your blunt response but appreciates you for not giving up on yourself.

She takes you by the hand but you can’t move. You feel someone’s eyes stare down into your soul. You ask for your sister for some help because you are still recovering from the other accident.

She calls Namjoon to come and get you, she bought him too. You see Namjoon look at you as well and he storms over to life you in bridal style. You blush and smile at the gentle gesture. You snuggle up to him not knowing that set something akin to jealousy in Jungkook. If looks could kill Namjoon would be seventeen feet underground. His mother knows that look and she says “Come on we have to get that body out of here, please help me.”

Jungkook nods his head as he watches you being carried away from him. He still doesn’t know why that he want to kill this Namjoon. Who is he to you? Why did you move on? Wasn’t he enough? He shakes his head as he helps his mother. His mother knows her son needs therapy but Sarang probably made that a negative impression. She asks if he son would like to go to therapy he looks at her and nodded his head.

Weeks later you are living with your sister and her husband. You gained enough courage to go get some groceries. Your family wanted you to come along with them but you told them no, that you would do it next time. You tell them to let you go to the grocery store by yourself to see if you can actually do it. Your sister was very weary but her husband said “Sweetie, you are going to have to let her go. She can’t be under supervision all her life. She must know how to protect herself as well.”

You found out that your mother hired your stalkers that are cops. You found out that they were pretending to be inmates but are actually cops and with a cherry on top they had to be your stalkers. You also found out that they were arrested because of being abusers with their wifes and kids. They were in their fifties and that made you sick to your stomach.

You are very thankful for Kim Seokjin and his wisdom. So he takes your sister and the kids on vacation. You understand they need a break from you because you put them under stress. You are walking back from the grocery store and you get a tap on your shoulder and you turn around to see a stranger that feels familiar.

You stare at him for longer than you anticipated because he says “My angel, I missed you so much, I am so sorry I left you for so long.” You hug him as you start crying and hug runs his hand’s through your hair also crying as well. You do not know someone with insane eyes is watching you hug a man waaay older than you or him are.

Jungkook has been having dreams of you and he is going insane. So he walks out the house to just walk, that is until he see you with an older man and he starts growling yet tears are in his eyes because of the pain he had put you through. He has been stalking you ever since you left the house.

He thinks he belongs to you, and he watches with a bitter and jealous heart at the heartwarming scene unfold. He does not know who your father is and the way that man holds you makes him want to hold you like that.

You however are oblivious to your stalker but your father see him and asks if you would like to join him for a father daughter date. Of course you agreed, you wonder if he has a wife or you have a sibling. You are happy he is alive, and he takes you to a café, then bowling and karaoke then to dinner. He then drop you off but before you get out. He asks “my angel Y/n…is your sister home?”

You look at him and shake your head as you say “No, why? What’s wrong?” Then you hear something that scares you “I think someone has been stalking you.”

You want to cry again but you do not as you tell him that you will be fine. You dad had a bad feeling but trust you to defend yourself. You get his phone number and he takes you to the door. You open the door to let him come in to put the stuff he brought you down and he says “Please call me, I’m one call away, doesn’t matter what time, you need me call me.”

You smile as you watch your dad depart from you and you feel so tired. You walk into the house and you go get ready for bed. You look at your phone and you look on your lock screen of Eunwoo, Mingu, Jaehyun and your friends Namjoon, Jiminie, Felix and then there is Jungkook and you. You miss Jimin and Felix, life grew you all apart and you want to get back together.

In the night when everything is quiet a young man that stalks your window. Whispers of how jealous and heartbroken he is. This young man climbs up to a balcony and breaks in by a hair pin. He walks through quietly and he goes to your security. His eyes were green in jealousy and his heart raging with anger as he looks at every nook and cranny there is. He needs to find you so with cutting the security cameras off he walks impatiently to any room to have you in it.

The young man spots you and sucks in a breath at how beautiful you are. He breathing quickens due to the fact that you are there. He hovers over you after giving you gifts and your rejection made him come. He needs you to wake up and answer why you have him aroused like this. He cuts your light on and lightly shakes you.

You wake up thinking someone is hurt but your realize no one else is home. Your eyes open and you see Jungkook looking very tensed and sorrowful. He says “I am sorry for what I have done. I am working on my anger please hit me, hurt me, but don’t you ever think of leaving me.”

You are shocked, mouth a-gaped and you try to back away but he hovers over you more. You can see the insanity and sincerity but you look at him and ask “Ju-Jungkook h-how did you find me?! Why are you here?” You then sigh and say “I-I am sorry if I ruined your l-life. Someone made it very clear to me that I am… not your soulmate.”

Jungkook smiles and says “I beg your biggest pardon? I don’t know who you are to me, but something about you draws me in even when I was saying those hurtful things.. so I do not know why. I did not want to kill you, when my ex-wife was killed I could feel you didn’t have anything to do with it. You mother is a crazy woman. I’m going crazy please tell me who you are to me.”

You look at him and state “A disgusting thing to mankind..” you maintain eye contact while his lips quiver and your look softens and then you say “I-it’s not yo-your fault. It hurt while you were doing that but… I can’t stay mad at you while you too are suffering.”

He shook his head “No… that not what I meant by who are you to me.. I meant who were you before I temporarily lost my memory?”

You stare at him and state “I am just your best fri-“

The next thing you know there is a gun to your head but he was shaking while doing that. You had a new found confidence once he asks again breathing heavily “Who were you before I lost my memories.”

You look at him and state “My Jungkookie would never hurt me.” You look into his soul once you see him look at you in anguish then you say “My Jungkookie would never hurt me!”

Then you hear the most ear piercing yelling as he starts to cry out. You absolutely devastated him but you know he is capable of killing so you go over there and kiss him everywhere on his face. He stops and gasps, then you look at him with a soft yet intense gaze and nods his head desperately.

You kiss his lips softly as you kiss him you hear him ask “Y-y/n?” You keep kissing him “Y/n?” You then ask for entrance and you felt his mouth open and you are now French kissing your best friend, ha look at you go. He then moans “Y-y/n is that you?”

You keep kissing him and say in the kiss “y-yes it’s me.” You feel him wrap his arms around you possessively and you felt yourself melt. You two were moaning mess and then you felt weird down there and you wiggled and he humps you and now you feel like you peed your panties.

You also feel something hard near your area of heat. Your eyes widens due Jungkook kissing your sweet spot on your neck as you hear hear him talk about “Sss has mark you and fill you up haaa.”

You don’t know what that means until you felt your underwear being taken off and you hear his buckle and pants fall down. You blush because this is the first time of wanting to make love.

He creases you check and says “Do- do you want to continue? can I marry you? Are you comfortable? Hahahah… look at you making me go crazy.”

You know being in prison made him that way and you are part of that. You look at him and say “Why do you want me? Look at what I put you through.”

He stares at you with love so insane then says “I’ll kill for you all over again… I’ll die for you, I’d burn the world for you. I’ll wait for you and I would pick you over and over again.”

You then realize as you kiss him wanting him to get out whatever tension is in there. You put your legs around him and he rolls his eyes in arousal and excitement. You were the one in control over him this whole time instead of Jungkook having control over you.

(Yea I got carried away since I saw an ask about if Y/n lost her memories, or if Y/N’s mom was interested in Jungkook and something about his father hating Y/n. Also I did not think of a title… this is my rendition if what I think is Dh! Prisoner Jk and Y/N’s love story)

I love how you wrote a whole story based on my story and I love this, this was a thrill to read… everyone read this-and remember this has a few trigger warnings so be careful, but this was really good!!!!! I love your rendition of darkest hour: prisoner. xx

#ask: dh: prisioner!jungkook

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iamjungkooked · 2 years

Text

Breaking Free (Part 1)

···

↳Pairing: Jungkook x female reader

↳Genre: Romance, Angst, (maybe some smut)

↳Word count: 14.6k

↳Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcoholism, dysfunctional family dynamics

↳Rating: 14+

↳AU: fake dating!

↳Summary: For y/n, rescue comes in the form of Jeon Jungkook, a man who finally gives her the courage and support she needs to break free--from everyone and everything she has ever known. Intirgued by the promise of the unknown , she plunges in head first. Little does she realize that being with him will make her question everything she has known about herself. As delectable as the prospect of freedom is, what will she do when everything changes?

A/N: Hello. I know I know. Its been like a year. But I hope you enjoy this!

Chapter 1

“Oh, my darling sweet daughter” my mother rushes down the stairs to wrap me in a hug. She’s lightning quick so I can’t dodge her. I look over at George, our butler who nods at me to go with it. She’s in her nightgown, her hair still just as fresh-looking as last night. She even smells incredible for someone who has “just woken up”.

I suffocate between her arms, barely able to breathe. I try to push her away but she’s much stronger than I am. “Mum, I can’t breathe” I manage to choke the words. She pulls away. I see that her eyes are a little glossy, yet she hasn’t shed a single tear. Sometimes I can’t understand if she doesn’t know how to express her emotions or that she doesn’t have any.

“Sorry” she says to me, in that sweet voice of hers. “Anyway, are you all packed up?”

“Yeah. Nancy helped me” I look over my mother’s shoulder at the middle-aged lady, who is actually crying. Nancy was my nanny when I was younger. But then my parents decided that they would need her services indefinitely. She raised me. My parents never had time for me.

We don’t even have any pictures together. There is only one picture of me with them, the day I was born.

So it is super safe to say that my parents and I don’t have the best relationship. I barely know who my father is. He’s never around. He only comes home to sleep. I do not know what he does the rest of the day. I suppose he’s busy making money. That is all he seems to care about. Last night when he came home, he did not even know I was going to college.

“Oh” was all he said in response. That was the end of our conversation.

My relationship with my mother isn’t any better. She’s a hard one to describe. Sometimes she does care about me, that is when she isn’t busy showing off to the ladies in her kitty party, or trying to one-up one of the other rich wives in her friend circle, or going on vacations to pass her time.

I say goodbye to both Nancy and George, giving them each hug-- longer than my mother. They are more my family than she has ever been.

I turn to my mother. “Okay mum. I will see you when I see you”

“What do you mean, dear?” she says. “You’re coming home for the holidays aren’t you?”

“I uh..” I have to pause because I don’t really know if I want to. “I am not sure if I will”

“Your father will not like it.” she says sternly.

A scoff crosses my lips. I hate how she has the audacity to tell me this. “He didn’t even know I was leaving for college” I remind her because she seems to have forgotten the nightmarish exchange between us last night.

“This is no way to talk to your mother!”

I take a few deep breaths before I respond. “Look mom, I am not promising anything. I will see if I can make it” It’s not like you will care if I miss thanksgiving or Christmas. You probably won’t even be here.

I grab my suitcases and head for the exit before my mother can get another word in. I place my bags in the car. Nancy and George follow. I hug them one last time and get into the car. I feel a small pang. I wasn’t expecting my mother to come, but somehow I thought at least on this occasion she would come to say a proper goodbye.

But she didn’t.

I wasn’t even sad. I was just numb.

Chapter 2

Living away from my parents turns out to be the exact thing I needed. No more toxicity, no more fighting. No more having to pretend and please my parents. I don’t even know why I tried so hard. I don’t want the college fund or the trust fund. I don’t want anything from my parents. But somehow I wound up trying my whole life to impress them, to get their attention.

I thought that if I acted the way they wanted me to they would give me a little bit of attention. I would have been happy had they attended my birthday-- just that one day out of the whole year I would have been content. But nothing I did seemed to work. I worked my ass off to get good grades. I got into an ivy league college as my father wanted. Never even had a sip of alcohol, or partied, or tried drugs.

I was the good girl. I did everything they wanted me to. I even befriended the people they wanted me to so that my father could gain favour with some of the political families. They decided what courses I would take, what extracurriculars I would enrol in for prep school. Every single decision of my life was taken by the people who never even spent a good minute of their time on me.

I have lived my whole life in that mansion. So living on my own it feels weird.

When I come back to the dorm but roommate isn’t there and she leaves a note on the door that we are almost out of food. She asks me to bring Instant noodles, sushi and strawberry milk.

“What a weird combination” I mutter under my breath. I turn right back around.

It’s a relief that there is a convenience store just a block down. It’s not much of a walk but I welcome it the moment I step out. The sky is cloudy overhead. A soft wind blows through the trees that surround the campus. The cemented pavement leading down the steps of the dormitory is wet, but I doubt it will rain. For a moment I wonder if I should run back to get the umbrella but when I turn around and see the flight of stairs I find the perfect excuse not to.

The hoodie I am wearing is cozy enough, but I still feel the chill against my skin. The campus is quiet at this time of night. With only thoughts to occupy me, I begin to wonder about Nancy and George. I haven’t spoken to them since I got here, which is six weeks too long. I pull my phone out.

Hi Nancy. I am sorry I haven’t checked in for so long. How are you and George doing?”

I pocket my phone after sending the text. But not a second later my phone is ringing.

“Hi Nancy” I smile into the phone.

“Oh y/n, it’s been so long” she sounds ecstatic. “Have you been eating and sleeping well?”

“I am. Don’t worry about that” I feel slightly guilty because I haven’t been. But I don’t want her to worry.

“Oh that’s good” she says. “Your parents are doing fine too”

“Oh yeah” I suddenly feel out of energy even just thinking about them. I don’t feel particularly guilt.

“Nancy!” I hear my mom’s voice in the background.

“Anyway, I just wanted to check in with you. I know my mom will get angry if she sees you on the phone with me. So take care of yourself please. I’ll call you later” I hang up hurriedly because I don’t want Nancy in any trouble.

Arriving at the convenience store, I see only one other person in the store. Without paying him mind I go to the aisle and grab noodles, and a 6 pack of strawberry milk. I head to the fridge and grab a few trays of to-go sushi and then proceed to the counter to pay. Offering the cashier a smile I hand him my card.

He runs it for me and hands me a receipt once he’s done ringing the items. I take the bag from him and turn on my heels. “Shit” I mutter. I don’t even get to the door when it starts pouring.

The rain is coming down so fast I can’t see the other side of the road. I doubt I would be able to make it safely. I decide the best course of action is to just sit at the seats by the window inside the store.

The sound of the rain against the window calms me down. I feel drops of water on my hoodie and turn to find a random guy violently wiping himself off.

“Do you mind?” I say.

He looks at me expressionlessly. “Sorry” he says and then proceeds further into the store.

I pat my hoodie dry. It wasn’t much water but still, he should have been watching it. I ignore the small spark of frustration in my chest and face ahead, watching the rain fall down. My phone buzzes again. I turn it over and find Yoona, my roommate’s message.

From [Yoona]:

Did you go to the store? It’s raining and both our umbrella’s are in the stand. I can come to get you if that’s where you went.

To [Yoona]:

Yeah I am. Don’t worry. It’s raining heavily. I don’t think it's safe for either of us. I’ll just wait it out.

From [Yoona]:

You’re sure?

To [Yoona]:

Yes. I am sure. Don’t worry I’ll bring your food to you safely.

From [Yoona]:

🤪 Thank you. But please be safe.

To[Yoona]:

I will :)))

I put my phone away again.

“I am sorry about earlier”

I turn around to find the guy from before, holding out a coffee cup towards me.

“Sorry?” I don’t really understand what is happening.

“I sprayed you with water. I am sorry about that” he nods to the cup in his hand.

“Oh uh-- thanks” I take it from him and hesitantly place it on the table in front of me.

“You from around here?” he asks as he sits next to me.

“Yeah. I go to the university” I look at him.

He nods, sipping his coffee.

I notice the tattoo on his arm and an extension of a tattoo on the side of his neck. He’s wearing multiple rings on his fingers, he’s got a dangly earring in one ear. He’s wearing a white graphic tee, tucked into his black ripped jeans, and to finish it off he’s wearing black combat boots.

Devilish

“What about you?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Not exactly the studying type”

“Kinda figured” I reply drawing the hot coffee cup towards myself.

He quirks a brow. He turns his torso towards me as if he’s interested. “Oh yeah? What kind of a guy am I? Indulge me” a lopsided smirk that has me almost fleeing makes an appearance. This was the only thing missing from his “bad boy” repertoire.

“I don’t know. You’ve got the whole grunge look going. Art major maybe?” I shrug.

He looks at me for a few seconds like he’s trying to decide something. I can’t tell what he’s thinking but with dangerous looks like that, it can’t be anything good.

“What are you thinking?” I feel a little daring. Under different circumstances, I would be running the other way. But there is something about freedom from my parents' influence that is making me feel in control.

“I am thinking what’s a goody-two-shoes like you doing here?” he narrows his eyes at me.

I laugh. “At a convenience store?”

“Isn’t it a little late for you? I bet you have a curfew”

I can’t help but snort. “Excuse me, but you don’t know me”

He narrows his eyes at me after giving me a once-over. “Oh honey, I know your type”

I start to laugh. “This is…” I lick my lips as I take a good look at him. “Okay fine. What type of a girl am I? Indulge me”. Somehow I am liking the challenge he’s throwing me. I want to know what he thinks because it’s clear he’s got something on his mind.

I have no idea where this courage to flirt is coming from. But Yoona was right when she said flirting is fun. I can’t remember a single time in my life where I have flirted with a man. In fact, I wasn’t even allowed to have guy friends in school. But somehow this is exhilarating. Interest and attention can do wonders for a human, especially one like me who has been starved for affection and attention their whole life.

Men are no good. I married one. Trust me I know.

That’s what my mother used to tell me.

Looking at the man in front of me, I don’t think she was entirely wrong. I can see it so clearly in my head. So many broken hearts, so many tears wasted.

What a waste of mascara, as Yoona would say.

So many girls out there, wondering where they went wrong. When all they had to do was avoid him. But then again a handsome face like his is hard to ignore. He knows how to make girls feel special as if they are “the only one”.

He begins to smile. “I am Jungkook” he says.

“I am Nancy” I reply. There is no way I am telling him my actual name. “So tell me what kind of a girl am I?”

“Mmm” he pulls his lips between his teeth as he regards me. “A pretty one”

I stare at him. I am at a loss for words. “Okay. That was bad”. But it was also a little bit funny. I can’t smile and give in though. That would make me look weak.

“You don’t like compliments?”

“Not when they come from guys like you”

“Guys like me?” he raises a brow at me.

“You know, the kind who don’t care about anyone or anything. The heartbreakers. Words don’t mean much to you. You say them but they’re empty promises. Empty words.You’re all the same. You only know how ruin a girl’s mascara, not her lipstick”

“You’ve had your heart broken then, Nancy?” he takes a sip of his coffee all the while eyeing me over the rim of the cup.

“Hmm” I move closer to him. “Wouldn’t you like to know Jungkook? You think I am going to give you my life story just because you look like you are the remedy to every girl's daddy issues?”

“Clearly not yours” he shrugs like he doesn’t care at all. “But give me something at least”

“And let you have power over me?” I smile. “Tsk Tsk. Not happening”

“So I do have power over you” he comments, almost like he’s won this little exchange.

“Maybe. Maybe not”

“You know I like mysteries?” he says.

“There is a difference between liking them and solving them” I bring the cup of coffee to my lips.

He nods. “I like you”

“In a good way, I hope”

“Wouldn’t you like to know” he echoes my words from earlier. I can’t help the smile it elicits as I lower my head.

I raise my head to look at him and put on my best poker face. “I don’t like mysteries''. I am not lying though. I hate uncertainty. I have grown up with it. Spending my Sunday’s at the dinner table waiting for my parents to come, backstage at my ballet performances wondering if they will come to support me, delaying my walk on the stage for graduation because I couldn’t see my parents in the crowd.

Turns out I really do have “daddy” and “mommy” issues. He would probably have a field day with me though. I am exactly the kind of girl who gets caught in his trap. He will say he knows how to fix my “daddy” issues, and I will believe his words because he’s giving me attention. But then he breaks my heart because it all becomes too boring for him. He’s been there and done that.

“Where have you been all my life?” he chuckles.

“Avoiding guys like you” I say.

“I can’t win, can I?” he asks.

“Does this usually work on other women?”

He nods. “Pretty much all the time”

“Time to step up your game then” I say. I look at the clock on the wall and then back outside where it has stopped raining. “Well, it was nice meeting you. Had it not been for you I would have been bored just waiting”

“I’ll give you a ride” he throws away the coffee cup.

“My mother told me not to accept rides from strangers” the practiced coy smile comes useful. Yoona’s teaching paid off. Let’s just say she worked hard on me. I’d probably be fumbling my words were it not for her.

“Well your mother is one wise woman isn’t she” he pauses. “Then I’ll walk you to wherever it is you are going”

“What if I had to take two buses to get here?”

“It either makes you really dumb or just really passionate for strawberry milk” he looks down at the bag in my hand, the faint outline of the milk bottle visible.

“I do love strawberry milk”

“Come on. Let’s go” he gets to the door first and opens it for me, not giving me much of a chance to run away or keep stalling.

If my mother saw this she’d definitely call me a slut. She’s blunt like that. Though, I do not think she would live long enough to see this. The fact that I am talking to him would be enough to send her to heaven. Jungkook was her living, breathing nightmare. Her and my father’s. But oh-- how I would just love to shove this new side of me in their faces.

We arrive in front of the dorms. “Thank you Jungkook”

“It’s not a problem,” he winks. “I hope you have a good night” he gives a two-fingered salute. “See ya again strawberry girl” he reaches for my hand, plants a kiss on the back.

And just like that, he saunters off into the dark.

Chapter 3

The semester has ended and I am back at my parent's for a while. I am not thrilled about it but when Yoona had to move back home for a family emergency I decided I didn’t want to stay at the dorms either. So here I am yet again, in this fancy mansion that looks like a dream but is filled with nothing but loneliness.

I fix my dress again for the nth time. I really don’t know why I have to wear a dress for a thanksgiving party. I have always hated these parties. They are superficial. Every word exchanged is laced with poison. There is something to be gained everywhere. Everyone wants one thing or another. Even youngsters my age come to these parties to find trophy husbands or wives for themselves. Every single one of them is full of themselves.

A group standing near me, some of whom I have known since prep school are talking about where they travelled to in the summer.

“Oh Amsterdam was amazing,” says one of the girls airly, flipping her hair.

I can’t help the scowl that overcomes my face. I can’t stand a single person at this party. They are all lonely shells of a human being, who care about no one but themselves. My parents included.

My mother is standing in the corner twirling around in her pretty red dress, going on and on about the designer she bought it from for $50,000. My father is standing with some of the politicians I recognize from the TV. God knows what they are talking about.

I walk towards my mother. It’s the only choice I have. Standing by myself is worse because I keep thinking about how much I hate these people. I stand quietly next to her, pretending to sip on the champagne in my hand when one of the trophy wives comments on my dress. “Oh that is a lovely dress dear”

“Thank you” I reply, offering a half-hearted smile.

“Oh come on sweetheart, tell her about your dress” my mother places her hand at the small of my back and presses hard. She usually does this as a signal. She used to do this when I was younger too and when we had guests over she would force me to play the piano, or the violin or show them the new moves I had learned in Ballet class. I reach back and pull her hand away.

“I think I am good.” I tell her and escape from there.

“Excuse me” I hear her say.

“Young lady, you stop there right now” my mother’s shrieking voice follows me. “That is no way to behave in front of guests” she spins me by the elbow.

I almost drop the champagne on my dress. “I told you mother, I have no interest in this party” i yank my elbow from her grip.

“ This is important for your father and you will behave” she is stern.

I scoff. “I am not a child anymore. I am perfectly capable of having my own opinions. And right now I think this place sucks. Everyone is so fucking pretentious, Jesus”

“Watch your language” she gives me a firm look. Had I been 7 years old, I would have cowered in fear. But I wasn’t and she needed to know that.

I am about to reply when someone catches my attention behind my mother. He looks very familiar, except this time he’s wearing a suit. A black suit that fits his curves and edges perfectly, as if the fabric itself was made for him. We lock eyes and he raises his champagne glass in acknowledgement. “Who is that?” I ask. I know who he is but how the hell is he at this party?

My mother turns around following my line of sight. “That is Jeon Jungkook. His family owns a massive chain of five star hotels” she turns back to me, blocking my view of him. “It’s best you stay away from him. He is a good-for-nothing- boy. Completely ruined his family’s legacy” she scowls, hatred and judgement evident in her eyes.

So he’s a rich kid too. And he doesn’t listen to his parents? He’s practically perfect.

I hand her my champagne glass “Excuse me mother. I will be back” I say as I make a beeline for him.

“Y/N, come back here right now” I hear her say, but I don’t care. There is one person at this party I like and I will be damned if I don’t talk to him. Besides, I would love to piss my mother off.

“Strawberry girl” he says as he reaches for my hand and places a gentle kiss at the back. “Fancy seeing you here”

“Jeon Jungkook” I nod in acknowledgement. “I can say the same for you. I did not think this was your scene”

“It’s not. But I am forced to be here. My father was adamant I attend and that I do not further ruin his reputation”

“Tsk Tsk. You’re a bad boy. What did you do?”

“Well my dear father” he looks over my shoulder and raises his glass and I see a middle-aged man giving him a stern, disapproving look. “That would be him” he says. “Anyway, he wanted me to join the family business. Take over in fact. But I didn’t want that”

“What did you want?” I ask, moving closer so we’re standing toe to toe. I know my mother is looking.

He doesn’t seem to mind it. In fact, he smiles at the increase in physical proximity. “I wanted my own business, which I have”

“Ooh self-made man. I like” I wiggle my brows at him. “What business?”

“I have my own music company”

“That’s amazing”

He sighs. “Not to my father it isn’t. He says I have let him down. He said he may have forgiven me had I chosen a higher profession. But like I told you I am not the studying type. Always hated that, but always loved music”

“I guess your whole look also adds to it” I gesture to his tattoos and piercings. He’s still wearing the dangly earring in one ear, and his tattooed fingers are adorned with rings.

“Why?” he leans in to whisper against my ear. “You don’t like it?”

I play with his tie, feeling the soft silk between my fingers. “I like them a lot. Tell me about them”

He pulls back, places his hand in mine and pulls me along.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“Well if you want to see my tattoos, we need a private space” he winks.

“I know just the place” my steps quicken as I take the lead and pull him along.

I take him to the secluded basement. It’s supposed to be the entertainment room. There’s a pool table, a large theatre screen with pull-out couches for seats. There is a bar to the side, stashed with my father’s most cherished alcohol. Some of them are as old as sixty years. I have never touched them though. I am the “good girl” after all. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel like trying some. I look at Jungkook and I know he would enable it-- which may just be what I need.

“Wait, is this your place?” he asks as he takes in the large suite.

“You didn’t know?” I ask going around the pool table and sit on the edge of it while he circles back to me and stands right in front of me.

He shakes his head. “I had no idea. But good to know”

“Anyway, show me your tattoos”

Without a word he shrugs off his suit jacket, which I insist I hold because I’d rather something that expensive doesn’t get ruined. He hands it to me and folds his sleeves to reveal something that resembles a crossword puzzle. He moves closer, I reach for his arm and trace the letters. “I’d rather die than be cool” I read the words on his forearm. “What does it mean?”

“I’d rather die than try to fit in with the crowd. It’s from a song” I know he’s looking at me. But I dismiss the small flutters in my stomach.

“It fits you” I trace the line crossing over this tattoo. “Make hay while the sun shines” I look at him. He’s got this soft look in his eyes. “What?”.

He fixes my hair behind my ears, a small smile on his lips. “I don’t know. You just look beautiful” his hand lingers on my cheek.

Is he going to kiss me?

I slap his hand away. “This isn’t going to work on me” I wag my finger at him. “Show me this one” I traced the outline of a tattoo on his neck.

He begins to unbutton his shirt. “Stop me at any time” he smirks.

I don’t know what has gotten into me. “Actually you know what” I place my hand on top of his as he reaches for the last button. “Show me some other time”. I look away. The temptation,too much for me. Maybe he’s right.

I let go of his hand.

“As you wish” he smiles softly, beginning to button his shirt back up. “I meant it you know, this dress does look amazing on you”

“Oh?” I feel at a loss for words. He looks sincere enough but with someone like him, it can just as easily be a game. “Well, in any case, you’re kind of too perfect in some ways”

“I am not all that dreamy. I might be every girl’s wet dream-- not yours” he says when he sees me open my mouth to protest. “But I am not without flaws”

“Elaborate”

“I vape”

“Better than smoking

“I drink”

“Who doesn’t?”

“I fucked my way through college”

“Not winning any points there”

“I’m every father’s worst nightmare”

“You’re every girl’s wet dream”

“Okay, you win” he concedes. “Maybe I am not that bad”

“Yeah. Except for the’ fucking your way through college’ part”

“Oh that. I just said that to be cool” he shrugs. “I didn’t think you would take it seriously.”

“Fuckboi’s are not cool” I remind him.

“So if you don’t like fuckboi’s or guys like me, what do you like?” he walks to the bar, slipping in behind the counter and begins to inspect the liquor bottles. His back is turned to me. I follow his lead and stand on the opposite side of the bar.

“Well, I don’t know. But It’s definitely not you. I won’t make the mistake of falling for you”

He turns around, a bottle in hand and he opens it. He reaches for the glasses piled up high in the cabinet to the right and pours himself one. “You want one?” he asks.

I shake my head. It won’t do me any good to get drunk with him.

“How are you so sure?” he questions, sipping on his drink and then reaching for the bottle again. “Damn this is good whiskey” he turns it around in his hand taking note of it.

I can’t help but frown at him. “Well, it’s not you. Let’s just settle on that”

“So, someone extremely handsome?”

“You mean conventional aka boring”

“You mean Devilish?” he grins.

“Maybe”

“You can’t control how you feel. You might just end up falling in love with me” he eggs this whole thing on like he’s enjoying it. I am too. But he’s dangerous. He makes me want to throw caution to the wind.

“You can dream on lover boy”

He snorts. “No one has ever called me that. I am not sure if I should be turned on by that or if I should be turned on by that ”

“Run the other way. I can be kind of crazy”

“That’s my type though. I like crazy. Saint in the streets, a devil in the sheets? Now that is the best of both worlds” he folds his arms atop the counter and leans in towards me. “Something tells me you’re both” his gaze bounces to my lips.

“Am I?” I pull back.

Not because he’s overstepping, but because I am. I haven’t done this routine before. I don’t know what’s too little and what’s too much. I am just going with the feeling in my gut and hoping I can keep up.

“You know it”

I roll my eyes at him. “You’re bad for me”

“Very”

“You are going to break my heart”

He pretends to think for a moment. “Most definitely”

“You’ll tell me you love me”

“Everyday”

“What a liar”

“I’d say, lover”

“You’re out of luck then. I don’t need a lover” I turn on my heels and begin to walk away. In two quick strides, he’s blocking my way.

“But you do need my number” he holds his hand out for my phone.

“You give me yours” I say with confidence and he hands me his phone.

I put my information in and give it back. He looks at the screen and then back at me. “I feel betrayed, strawberry girl”

“Why? You didn’t really think my name was Nancy did you?”

“I knew after talking to you that you couldn’t be a ‘Nancy’. Turns out I was right” he pockets his phone.

I turn around. “It’s getting late, lover boy” I start walking towards the door to the basement when he catches up with me.

“You’re going to break my heart one day, Nancy” he chuckles, throwing an arm around my shoulder.

Chapter 4

Jungkook and I began to text a lot. It mostly consisted of flirting and banter going back and forth with an occasional sincere compliment from him and a sincere bit from my life to him. It turns out he’s not as bad as people make him out to be. He wants to pave his own path and walk it, with or without his father’s help.

That is something I can appreciate. He’s a breath of fresh air in the staleness of entitlement I have become used to. He’s true to himself. If he doesn’t give a fuck he’ll say it. He’s unafraid. Maybe that’s what draws me to him. I don’t know how to not be afraid.

For instance right now as I am sitting across from yet another rich dude my mother set me up with, I don’t know how to not be afraid of getting up and just leaving without causing a scene. He’s been going on and on about something I really could not care less about.

“You know during my trip to Africa?” He clears his throat. “I realized something”

“What would that be?” I offer a tight lipped smile.

“We are so fortunate to live in a country as great as ours. You know, people in poor countries can’t even get clean drinking water. The whole time I was there I had to keep asking them to bring me those cheap Dasani water bottles” his face contorts with disgust and I throw up internally.

“Mmhmm” I nod along, barely able to contain my frustration.

“When we were flying back, you know in our private airplane” he pauses for effect as if expecting me to look impressed. “From up above you could see just how dirty the living conditions were.” he shudders. “But it was just so rewarding to help these people out, you know. If we don't, who else will?”

Entitled fucking prick.

He then continues to go on and on about how the middle class is leaching from the rich. I mean talk about absurdity.

“So you think people who actually pay their taxes are the problem?” I can’t help it. The venom in my voice just comes out automatically.

He dismisses it. “They are dropping the standard, you know?”

I roll my eyes. I can’t deal with this. I tap my foot impatiently, waiting for an out. I look around the speakeasy. It’s a very popular “dating” spot for all the rich kids in the city. They gather here everyday and drink away their first world problems or come looking for a trophy wife or a husband they can flaunt around. I have seen it. I know how it’s going to go for them. They’ll flirt a little. Get to know each other, date, get married and then maybe 5-10 years down the road they will be at each other’s throats. She’ll be fucking someone else and he’ll be doing the same. Just like that marriage over.

As I am looking around I catch Jungkook in the corner of the bar. He was already looking at me. He waves, moving his fingers in a scraggly fashion. How long has he been here?

“Excuse me” I say, hurriedly walking away. There is my out.

I push through bodies here and there as I make my way across the lounge. I take the empty seat next to him. “You couldn’t have helped? Given me a call so I could pretend that a friend has an emergency?” I say to him.

“First off, hello. Secondly, I think you were doing pretty well” he shrugs. “I didn’t think you needed help”

“Yeah. I was doing so well that I was desperate to get out of there”

“So who’s the chump?” Jungkook nods at rich kid.

“I don’t know his name” I look over across the room. Said chump looking around, I assume trying to find me.

“That’s my girl” Jungkook grins as if he’s proud of me. “What did you lovebirds talk about?”

“Oh, only about where we would go on our honeymoon” I say dreamily, placing a hand on my heart.

“Where did you decide?” He humors me and takes a sip of his drink. It smells like whiskey again.

“Africa. You know to help out the children and to show off to our other rich friends our giving spirit”

He snorts. “You will fit in perfectly, strawberry girl”

“Hardly. So what brings you here, lover boy?”

He raises a brow. “Her” he nods to a girl in the corner of the room, currently taking selfies of herself. She’s definitely an eye candy, even I can admit it.

“Wow, she seems like a bundle of joy”

“She is” he nods. “She’ll make the perfect housewife for me. But I doubt I can provide for her needs. Or anyone really”

“I think you’ll do better than 99.9% of chumps in here”

He looks at me, highly amused. “What makes you say that?”

I shrug.

“Oh come on, strawberry girl. You’re making my male ego curious”

“Tell your male ego to shove it then” I offer a mocking smile. “Although, thank god you’re here. I honestly heard angels singing when I saw you sitting here”

He laughs silently. “Should we get out of here then?”

Jungkook slides a couple of bills across the bar as we get up.

“Hey! Where did you go? I have been looking for you” the chump comes out of nowhere.

“What’s up champ?” Jungkook stands up and throws an arm around him. He’s wearing black ripped jeans and a black half-sleeve t-shirt tucked into his jeans. His arms are filled with ink and it draws me in.

I can’t help but draw a comparison between them as I observe. Jungkook looks infinitely better than the chump dressed in chinos and a white button up shirt.

The chump looks confused. “Who are you?”

“Let me tell you something” Jungkook whispers something in his ear. With wide eyes, he looks at me and then walks away as if he’s seen a ghost.

“What did you tell him?” I question.

“That you are pregnant with my baby and that your parents are going to disown you once we tell them today and that he’s better off finding another girl” Jungkook looks proud of himself, a beaming smile on his face.

I gawk at him. “You did what? Jungkook, you do know that this is going to spread like wildfire right?”

“Don’t worry” he throws an arm around my shoulder. “You can live with me once your parents kick you out. I’ll take care of you” he presses a kiss to the side of my head. “And our baby”

“Oh my god” I groan. “I am sure my mother will hear of this”

“That’s perfect then. Make a scene and leave your house” he looks down at me, a good-for nothing smile on his face. He talks about it so lightly it blows my mind.

“You’re serious?” I frown at him.

“Very” he looks me straight in the eyes. “Honestly, you need to leave that place”

It wouldn’t be bad to live with Jungkook. It would be nice for once to have someone who will be present for me. For a moment I actually consider it. My mind plays me a highlight reel of how the conversation between my parents and I would go down. I can imagine myself packing my bags and leaving my house to live with Jungkook.

“Okay. So if my mother asks, is it a boy or a girl?” I wiggle my brows at him. I won’t lie, playing pretend is king of fun. Especially with him.

“Girl. I have always wanted a girl” he looks serious for a brief second.

“You?” I scoff in disbelief. “Don’t you want another mini Jungkook?”

“Oh god no” he shakes his head. “I don’t want that disappointment”

“What are we going to name her?” I ask as we begin to walk, his hand wrapped around my waist.

He pulls out a vape. I don’t think it’s allowed but who is going to stop the rich kids from breaking the rules? We know how to use “daddy” as a threat. “Violet. I have always loved that name you know”

I smell strawberries as he puffs out the smoke. “If it’s a boy?” I play along.

“I am going to abandon you two. If he’s my son he’s going to disappoint me” he chuckles.

“You are crazy Jeon Jungkook”

He winks. “Now let’s go give your parents the good news” he smiles from ear to ear, dimples on full display.

Chapter 5

My imagination does come true because a few days after my so-called “date” my mother and I got into a fight. She stomped in my room after she heard from her friends over at brunch that I am pregnant. I imagine the shame she must have felt but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of happiness at seeing her so furious.

“I told you to stay away from that boy! look what he’s done” she yells so loud I flinch.

I assume she’s talking about Jungkook. “Mother! You don’t know him”

“I don’t have to. He’s a good-for-nothing, shameless boy who has already ruined his life. But now he has ruined yours too!”

So my mother actually thinks I am pregnant. I wonder if I should go along with the lie. But then how would we even manage? I know Jungkook wouldn’t mind it. He’s the one who started this mess.

“I am not pregnant! Jungkook just said that so your dear Joe would leave me alone!”

“What? Why would you lie?”

“Because I am sick of you trying to set me up with men I have no interest in” my voice rises too.

My mother looks furious and confused. “It’s for your own good!”

“Mom, he was so entitled! Showing off about how much money he has and how he pities the poor!”

“What’s so wrong with that?“ she doesn’t even seem to grasp how wrong she sounds. I would explain to her that she sounds like a royal b.i.t.c.h. However I doubt she would understand.

I shake my head. “Point is, I am not interested in dating any of these rich assholes”

“Watch your language, young lady” my mother looks at me sternly. 10 year old me would have cowered. But not me, not right now. “You stay away from that…” she almost looks disgusted. “from that boy. He might actually get you pregnant”

“What’s wrong with that? I would rather him than another entitled prick who lives on Daddy’s money. At least Jungkook is independent and knows what he wants in life. He treats me with respect unlike these other guys who over the years have objectified me, made me feel worthless and tried to take my dignity away from me”

“You do not talk like that. Do not do anything to jeopardize the respect your father has gained in our circle. If you do-”

“To hell with this! You have never cared about me. You were absent my whole life and you think you can continue to dictate what I do? Not anymore”

“So that’s what this is about? Is this why you are rebelling?”

“You can’t even acknowledge that you did wrong by me. All these guys you want me to meet. They know it too. That’s why they think they can ask anything of me and I will give it to them” I can feel the frustration bubbling in my throat. I know that I am going to cry.

“Know what?”

“That you and dad have been neglecting me my whole life. That I have never gotten attention. So, they think that I’ll do whatever to get any kind of attention”

“Y/n”

“Because that’s what girls with broken hearts do, mom” my voice quivers and that’s when I know I need to stop. “Leave” I look at her, taking a few steps to usher her out. She doesn’t say anything further and marches out of my room.

Immediately I look for my phone. I rummage through the covers and when I find it I call him.

“Hey, strawberry girl” Jungkook says.

“Hey” I sniffle. “So listen. You know how you said I could come to live with you if my parents kick me out?”

“Yes” he says.

“Is that offer still valid?”

“Are you crying?” he sounds concerned

“Mhmm” my voice shakes. “So can I?”

“Of course, you can. Do you want me to pick you up?”

I wipe the corner of my eye as another tear escapes. “God no. I’ll fill you in later. Thank you Jungkook. I really appreciate you”

“Anything for you, strawberry girl” I can hear his smile through the phone.

Jungkook is waiting for me when I arrive at his apartment. It’s like he was waiting by the door because it opens on the first knock.

I drop my bags and engulf him in a hug. He holds me tight. “How are you holding up?” he asks.

“I’ve been better” I mumble against his shoulder. He sways us side to side, making me giggle. “Thank you for doing this. It means a lot to me”

“I should say sorry to you” he gently strokes my back. “If I didn’t impulsively lie you’re pregnant to that chump, you wouldn’t be here”

“No” I sniffle. “This was going to happen one way or another. Twenty years of neglect and abandonment issues… this should have been obvious to everyone. I am just glad that I have you here” I pull back.

“Of course, my beloved strawberry girl. What kind of a baby daddy would I be If I abandoned my two beautiful girls?” his lips rose in that naughty grin. It seems like he’s really enjoying this whole thing.

“So we have decided it’s a girl?” I try to suppress my smile but I can’t when he looks so happy.

“Violet” he reminds me.

“Oh yes. Violet. Right.” I pause. “ Tell me something”

“Mhmm” he says.

“You’re really having fun with this whole pregnancy shebang aren’t you?”

“Is it obvious?” he looks shy the way he looks away momentarily. “I can’t help it. I love the idea of little Violet” he’s almost entirely giddy even just saying it because his smile grows wider, reaching his eyes.

Cute

“You’ll make a great father someday”

“Hmm. I hope So. Anyway, welcome to my humble abode” he pulls me along inside, leaving my bags by the door.

The first thing that catches my eye is that along the walls of the short hallway, there are pieces of vinyl cascading up. It looks very cool. He definitely loves his music. At the end of the hallway to the left is the living room. His interior is black and white— white walls and black furniture. To the right is the kitchen— granite black countertops and black cupboards. There is a large window in the living room and a couple of smaller ones in the kitchen.

There is a giant 90-inch television mounted to the wall to the left and a bookcase flanking each side.

I point to it. “Didn’t take you for a reader”

He shrugs. “I went through a phase where I collected books” he walks over and picks up one, stroking the spine. “I haven’t touched a single one in a long time.” he places it back.

On the shelves, placed here and there are pictures of him when he was younger. I move closer to take a look. There is one with him, probably 7 to 9 years old, holding a soccer ball. As I look further down there is one of him from graduation—another one of him from prom. There are a few of him and his parents too.

“It wasn’t always so tense between my dad and I” he picks up a really old photo of him and his dad on his birthday. Jungkook is on a pony and his dad is holding the reins. “We were actually close when I was younger”

I watch as he looks lovingly at the photo, a small smile on his lips as he thinks back. There is also regret in his eyes. ”Do you miss it?” I rest my head against his arm and gently stroke his back— a comforting gesture to ease whatever negative feelings must be surfacing for him.

“Of course. Sometimes” he shrugs, putting it away. “What about you?” he lays his arm across my shoulders.

“Ummm… I don’t have any great memories with my parents. Yeah. Not much to say there” I look away and clear my throat.

“I am sorry” he gives a tight squeeze. “You deserve every good thing”.

“Thank you. No one has ever said that to me”

“As your friend and baby daddy-

“Oh god” I roll my eyes.

“I will tell you this every single day” he lets go.

I look upwards. “Violet, I know you don’t exist. But one day when you do, you should know your father is a crazy man”

Jungkook laughs at this. “I am going to love that little girl. I’ll be a better father than my dad was to me” he says softly.

“I know.” I say gently.

She’s going to be a lucky girl.

Chapter 6

Jungkook and I settled into a routine. I give him a wake up call every morning for work because even with three different alarms on he never wakes up. We walk around each other as we get ready in the morning —bumping into each other in the bathroom as we brush our teeth. Then it’s a cutthroat competition for the shower as we push and shove each other out of the door. Sometimes he lets me win though when I put on my amazing puppy face. I make horrible breakfast where I burn the toast because we’re both late. He drops me off at university and then heads to work.

I usually come home late because of assignments and exams that I have to do long study sessions for. But he waits for me every single night. Without fail. Even after I tell him he doesn’t have to, he insists on doing so because he doesn’t want me to feel lonely anymore. Every single time I walk in through the door and he sees me he opens his arms out wide and I collapse into them. He holds me and then asks me how my day was and if I ate. The answer usually is no, so he always insists I eat before bed.

I was expecting him to do the same when I got home.

He was sitting on the sofa, eyes glued to the television. I kick my shoes off and as usual he holds his arms out for me. I throw my bag on the floor and crawl next to him, laying my head on his chest.

“You’re early today” he comments.

“I got tired. I don’t think my brain can take any more of krebs cycle today” I sigh, contentment flooding through me.

“Please tell me you ate something”

“You will be happy to know that I did eat today. Since I actually managed to get my shit done at a respectable hour, the cafeteria was still open. So I got myself food”

“That’s my girl”. he ruffles my hair.

I pull away from him so that I can look at him.

“What exciting piece of music did you make today?” I ask. His work really intrigues me because he’s a composer.

He sighs heavily. “Didn’t get much done today. Just went over some old songs and such”

I catch a whiff of his cologne. “You smell good” I didn’t realize it before because I was just so comfortable in his arms that I didn’t even pay attention. It’s odd because he never wears perfume or cologne when he goes to work. He even got his “going out clothes”on. He dresses casually for work and when he’s at home he’s in sweats and a hoodie. “Going somewhere?” I frown, figuring that he must have a work thing.

“Oh yeah. I have a date tonight” he looks at his watch.

I was not expecting him to say that. “Oh” is all I can say.

I feel something stir deep inside me when he looks at me. It’s an ancient feeling— familiar yet unknown. Something changed in me. It’s a sudden shift of perspective, momentarily. Then, he’s not just Jungkook anymore. He’s Jungkook.

When you take the word ‘just’ out of the equation, it elevates him to a level reserved only for: a) men who have the potential to make a woman’s heart flutter and b) men who do make a woman’s heart flutter.

Because the value of anything can be reduced to dust when you add ‘just’ in front of it.

My heart doesn’t flutter though. It wavers. Now, I don’t know where I stand. I am afraid the act of being uncertain is pushing me towards a place I don’t want to be. I want clarity. But when he says he’s going on a date and my heart sinks, I don’t think my brain and my heart are on the same page anymore.

This wavering— in a single moment— brings about a lot of emotions. Disappointment is at the forefront of it, but lingering deep down is a resentment towards him that I have never known. My heart says: how can he go on a date? Where my mind knows he’s free to do whatever he wants because we’re not in a relationship. We’re not anything.

We are just friends…

He’s just Jungkook. A man who has helped me more than my parents ever have. A man who has gone out of his way to make sure I don’t feel lonely.

I rummage through my mind to find the words that will help me find clarity and respond to him in a way a good friend would. But then I feel that sinking feeling in my stomach and I am forced to wonder if he is indeed just a good friend.

I don’t have time to ponder on this fleeting thought because he gets up. “How do I look?” he asks.

I stand up, forcing a smile on my face that will be good enough to fool him. “Handsome as always” I say as I fix his hair. It begins to feel too intimate when I realize we are standing in each other’s personal bubble. I step back slightly but not enough to cause him alarm.

“Alright then” he places his hands on the sides of my face and kisses my forehead— and I wish he hadn’t. “Don’t wait for me.” he says.

“Good luck” I say but I know I don’t mean it. I hope his date doesn’t go well. I wish she turns out to be some psycho-rich bitch, the kind he can’t stand. I wish she’s not as beautiful as my mind is making her up to be. I wish so many things that I forget I am meant to be supporting him. Because I am his friend.

He offers me his beautiful smile. My face falters once his back is towards me as he leaves. He’s at the door and I have this desperate wish he’ll change his mind. Then he turns around— a second of hope shines through— “oh and please sleep at a decent time” his dimpled smile makes an appearance.

He disappears, the door automatically locking behind him.

“Fuck” I cover my mouth in that devastating way when someone gives you bad news.

Chapter 7

Sometimes when Jungkook gets busy, he doesn’t eat. Rather he forgets to eat. It’s not high on his list of priorities.Lately, his work has been so busy he comes home late and collapses on the couch. His room has remained untouched for the past week, the covers on his bed laid out the way he had left them.

He did not eat dinner and in the morning he left without having breakfast. I worry that he’s going to pass out if he keeps doing this. So I do the next best thing.

I knock on his office door after his secretary lets me in. For some reason, she didn’t believe Jungkook knew me. But when I call him, and he got angry with her she apologized profusely before leading me to this office.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, walking towards me, arms wide open.

I walk straight into them. “I came to surprise you”. I pull away and hold a brown bag towards him. “You didn’t eat. Again”

“Oh” it’s like he just realized it. “I have a lot of work to do. We’re putting out a new music album so it’s been crazy around here” he takes the bag from me, opens it and takes a whiff. “You got me a chocolate croissant? How did you know?”

“What can I say? I am a good girlfriend”

He grins. “So you have promoted yourself from my baby mama to my girlfriend?”

“I hope you don’t mind” I chuckle.

“Come on. Have a seat” he escorts me further inside.

He sits on the edge of his desk while I take a seat in the very comfortable chair, spinning around a few times. I come to a halt. “Who is the artist?”

“Taehyung” he takes a big bite of the croissant. “Thank you for this by the way” he mumbles between bites, clearly hungry.

“Wait. Did you say Taehyung? As in Kim Taehyung?” I look at him wide-eyed, hardly able to believe it.

He nods. “You know him?”

“Of him. I like his music. Oh my god can I meet him? Please?” I look at him expectantly, folding my hands.

Jungkook responds with a blank look. He doesn’t say anything. It’s like he’s thinking something, almost like he’s judging me. I can’t discern the look in his eyes. The silence on his end drags on. I am tempted to smack him in the face because he’s being very irritating about this whole thing. It is so unlike him.

“No” he blinks and then takes another bite of the croissant.

“Why?” His response is so scandalous that I can’t help but scowl at him.

“Just no” he quips, hopping off the table and going to sit back in his chair like the CEO he is. He opens his laptop and begins typing away acting like I am not sitting in front of him. I continue to fume and stare at him. He continues to pretend he can’t see me. We sit in silence. It’s not awkward at all. It’s just heavy with something I can’t put a name to.

“Give me one good reason” I finally say.

“Because…” he looks at me over the screen of his laptop. “Because, just no” he shakes his head. “You can’t”

“What are you so afraid of?” I lean over the desk, trying to get a good look at him while he dodges my stares.

“Stop doing that” he looks exasperated. “I am not afraid of anything” he avoids looking at me, clearly lying. I can’t figure out why.

“Jungkook seriously” I lean back in my seat and fold my arms across my chest. “You really can’t lie to me”

“Look, when women meet Taehyung they tend to…” he pauses to think. “They tend to lose their shit. You’re my roommate, and he works for me. It would be weird” he shudders as if completely repulsed by the idea of me meeting Kim Taehyung.

“Of course J, what do you expect? He’s Kim Taehyung! You would have to have a penis in most cases to not lose your shit”

“So you’re telling me you’re going to be like that too?” he shuts his laptop as he stares at me, completely offended.

“You tell me. If you saw that actress you like- what’s her name…”

“Sanne Vloet? Also, she’s a model, not an actress” he corrects.

“Yeah. Her. If you had the opportunity to meet her wouldn't you act like a total mess?”

“It’s different. She’s not my roommate and me having sex with her won’t change anything” he shrugs.

The only thing I can do is gape at him. “Who said anything about having sex?!”

“You’re telling me if he puts moves on you, you won’t have sex with him?”

I have to think about it. He’s not entirely wrong. Kim Taehyung would be everyone’s dream guy. He’s just dreamy and hot. “I swear I won’t do anything to make things awkward. Besides, all this is hypothetical. What makes you think he’ll hit on me!?”

“Have you seen yourself? What guy wouldn’t hit on you?” he sighs, leaning against his chair and looking up at the ceiling.

“You”

“I did hit on you. But you shut me down, so I gave up” he reminds me.

“Wait…” I narrow my eyes on him. “Are you saying you think I am hot?”

His brows pull together with disbelief. “Dude, did I not make it obvious enough the first time we met?”

My heart wavers. Again. Just like it did that day.

“Okay fine—”

“Hey man, I was thinking we could change the lyrics a little. I brought the revised version”

I turn around to find Kim Taehyung sauntering into the room not even looking at anyone as he’s reading over the papers in his hands. I turn towards Jungkook, unable to hide my excitement. “Introduce me” I mouth.

He shakes his head.

Jungkook immediately gets up and jogs over, blocking my view of Taehyung on purpose. He looks over at whatever Taehyung brought him. I try to get a good look but Jungkook keeps sliding left and right to keep him from seeing me.

“Hi!” I get up and walk over, hand already extended. I push Jungkook aside with my hip “I am y/n”

Taehyung looks at me and I promise I could faint, were it not for Jungkook scowling at me.

“Taehyung” he shakes my hand. His skin is so soft and smooth as it makes contact with mine. “Pleasure to meet you” he flashes me that perfect smile of his and I could melt into a puddle of goo. “You know Jungkook?” he looks between both of us.

Jungkook puts his arm around me, staring straight at Taehyung. “Yeah. She’s my girlfriend” he gives my shoulder a squeeze. For a moment I am puzzled. My super-suppressed feelings surface back up and I try to push them back down. I have zero chance with Jungkook because he just thinks of me as a friend. While standing in front of me is Kim Taehyung, someone who I may actually have a chance with. If I date him I’ll still manage to piss off my parents just as much as if I were to “fake date” Jungkook. It works out either way.

“He’s joking.” I smile at Taehyung. “Long story”

Jungkook looks absolutely pissed as he separates himself from me.

“How do you guys know each other then?” Taehyung addresses me and I forget how to breathe.

“Um...Roommates” I say, tucking my hair behind my ears. I don’t really feel like explaining my situation, instead feeling this urgent need to compliment him. “I wanted to say I really like your voice.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Thank you” Taehyung takes a bow, making me laugh.” “I really like your smile.” his lips upturn into a cheeky grin.

It elicits a laugh from me. I look at Jungkook from the periphery of my vision and notice he’s absolutely not impressed with whatever is happening and I immediately pull my lips into a straight line. He’s standing to the side, arms crossed, hostile look on his face as he looks between me and Taehyung.

Taehyung offers a lopsided smile. “I hope this isn’t too straightforward but would you like to have dinner with me?”

“I would-”

“Absolutely not!” Jungkook intervenes before I even have the chance to open my mouth. He steps in between Taehyung and I. “She’s my roommate and you can’t date my roommate. Sorry buddy, house rules” Jungkook pats Taehyung on the shoulder. He turns over his shoulder, grasps my wrist and begins to pull me away and towards the door. He yells across the room. “I’ll be back and we can talk about the lyrics”

“Wait” I try to wrest my arm from his grip but to no avail.

Once we’re outside his office Jungkook shuts the door. He stands in front of it as if he’s guarding the room. “I’ll see you at home” he holds my face in his hands and presses a kiss to my forehead. He hurriedly slips inside the room. I gape at the now empty spot where he stood.

I don’t even get a word in as he shuts the door on my face.

Chapter 8

“Babygirl, we need to talk” Jungkook comes into the apartment from his morning run. His shirt sticks to his skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. His hair is sweaty, pulled back in a bun and I swear to god I think I wet myself a little.

“About…?” I look at him perched on the couch.

“So apparently, my mother also found out about the whole pregnancy lie I made up and that you are living with me. So she is hell-bent on inviting us to dinner so we can introduce you” he raises his brows and lays down, placing his head on my lap. “Your parents are going to be there too, apparently”

“I am not going” I announce. “Hell no”

“I kind of already said yes” he looks up at me, utterly unaffected by whatever he just said. He doesn’t even look like he cares. “Besides, it’s the perfect opportunity to piss your parents off” he wiggles his brows, trying to entice me. “And mine” he adds.

He’s right. It would be a really good time to show my parents I can manage on my own, and make my own decisions, which is why I moved in with him in the first place. Between discovering my new found not-so-platonic feelings for him, and meeting Taehyung, and just getting comfortable living with him, I had forgotten the world seems to believe I am pregnant.

In fact, I haven’t even texted my mother or father a simple ‘hello’. They didn’t call either. I expected them to march over right away and drag me back home. Something about it being a shameful thing to do. But they didn’t. Half of me felt relieved and the other half felt forgotten and neglected all over again.

I sigh heavily. “Fine. Do they think we are in a relationship?”

“Mhmm” he nods. “I told them we are”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because if I didn't, don’t you think our parents would try to do everything in their power to split us up? At least this way, we have a reason for living together and I love having you here. What can they do if we say we love each other?”

I feel it again. That little flutter in my stomach. It is so easy for him to say things like this and not even flinch. He uses the word ‘love’ like people use the word ‘water’. Might as well be the same because we can’t survive without either of those things.

Love, he says.

If only love was that easy.

He waves his hand in front of my face. “Hello. Where did you go?”

I blink out of my thoughts.“Nothing. So, what are you thinking?”

“Let’s pretend we’re in a relationship. Give them what they want so they will leave us alone. I don’t know about you but I would love to live with you in peace.” he smiles with his eyes-- the sincere kind of smile.

Abort.

This is a bad idea on so many levels for my mental health. I don’t even know if I can pretend to be in love with him, without actually falling in love with him. I have already started to feel something and doing this is only going to make me go down that hole even further. But do I even have a choice?

“How are we going to do this?” I ask, my mouth already parched at the idea of all this.

“I’ll hold your hand, look lovingly into your eyes, whisper sweet-nothings in your ear, say how much I love you and voila” he looks proud of himself, with a cheeky smile on his face.

Is it really that easy for him? If it is, then maybe I am better off ignoring his rule and just going out with Taehyung. It wouldn’t matter to him anyway.

Right?

“You really think it's that easy?” my voice falters a little, and it makes his forehead crinkle with concern.

“I do” he says softly, holding my gaze.

I think about it a little bit more.I realize there aren’t many thoughts in my head. I am only at a loss for words because I feel unsure. “Okay. Lets do it”.

“That’s my girl” he gets up and plants a kiss on my forehead. “ I am going to shower”

It’s a horrible idea. All my life I had been looking for trouble, and now here it was in the living breathing form of Jeon Jungkook.

And I was starting to regret it.

Chapter 9

The dreadful evening arrives much to my chagrin. Jungkook steps out of his room looking like he just came straight out of a rom-com. I don’t know if he does it on purpose, but he’s wearing a black, half-sleeve button-down shirt revealing all his tattoos. He’s left it unbuttoned just enough for everyone to get a peek at the tattoos on his chest. He’s even pulled his hair into a bun, the undercut completely visible.

I swear I don’t breathe for a few moments when I lay eyes on him. I ignore it though because none of it is real. He’s going to put on an act and I am going to get roped into it regardless..

“Wow” I breathe. “You look really good. My parents will definitely not like any of this” I gesture to his whole look.

“Good. But I am glad you like it”

Like it? I fucking love it. I am basically melted inside right now, just an empty shell of a body.

“You look really beautiful” he walks over to me placing a soft kiss on my cheek. He stands toe to toe with me and smooths a hand through my curls. “Just one thing missing” he leans in close to my ear, hands sliding up my arms and behind my neck. I can smell his cologne— the familiar scent of vetiver, a welcoming addition.

He pulls back, tracing his fingers on my neck. “There. Now you look perfect”

I feel something on my neck and under the pads of my fingers I can feel a chain. “Jungkook you didn’t have to”

“Look at it.” he says.

I pull on it with my thumb so I can see it. Hanging from the gold chain is the letter ‘J’. It's small but still very visible.

I am not going to survive the night if he keeps doing things like this. How is any girl not supposed to fall in love with him? Not when he looks like that and acts like this.

“I-I don’t know what to say”. I can’t take my eyes off it. It’s like he’s marking his territory and I don’t know what to think, or say, or do. Some primitive part of my brain finds this gesture really hot. It’s like he wants everyone to know I am his.

“It looks good on you.” he grins. “I am sure this will get their attention”

Right. This is just for show. He doesn’t mean anything by it.

“Careful Jungkook” I look up at him, my lips beginning to curve up in a smile. “I might actually fall in love with you”. My true feelings are disguised as a joke.

He shakes his head with a small smile of his own. He caresses my cheek. “Would that be so bad?” He looks into my eyes, sweet, tender and loving. Just like he said he would. But no one else is around.

“You’re really going to fool everyone tonight” I reach up and fix his hair, and the collars of his shirt. “You just had me there for a second” I accidentally look into his eyes. A few beats of silence pass and we just look at each other.

His smile begins to falter. “I think I fooled myself too, a little bit” he says softly looking into my eyes-- into my whole being and for a second I am afraid he’ll see what I am trying to hide. “If anything I think I might fall in love with you” he’s not grinning like he usually does when he’s joking or teasing. He’s not even smiling. He states it like a fact.

But I can’t tell if he’s pretending or if he’s serious. For my own sanity I decide he’s practicing for later. “Alright lover boy” I sigh. “Let’s go do this”

Jungkook acts like the perfect boyfriend. He holds my hand, whispers things in my ear making me giggle like a schoolgirl, and never leaves me alone. I play along, nodding and smiling. I end up forgetting that we are acting, that none of this is real. I forget that every kiss he places on my skin is only fake. I forget that all the words he’s whispered in my ear are empty. I forget that he’s not my boyfriend.

He’s a friend.

We had initially assumed that the dinner would just be his family and us. But it turns out Jungkook’s mother invited her friends and some family as well. All Jungkook and I could do was look at each other when the doors opened and we were met with so many people. Jungkook calmly slipped his hand in mine and led me inside. He introduced me as his girlfriend when we greeted different groups of people.

“Hi Aunt Jackie” he yells as he leads me to a lady standing by herself, glass of wine in her hand.

“Oh Jungkook! Look at you!” she says embracing him.

“How have you been?” he asks.

“I have been good!” She smiles at him and then looks at me. “You must be the famous y/n I have been hearing about all night”

“Aunt Jackie, meet my beautiful girlfriend y/n” Jungkook grins as he presents me to her. He looks so proud I feel myself getting giddy.

She embraces me the same.

“Aunt Jackie is my mom’s younger sister. She used to live in Korea. But when I was younger she moved here to help my mom out with me”

“He was a very naughty boy” she leans in and whispers.

“I am sure he was” I wrap my hand around his arm, sticking to his side. “He still gets into trouble sometimes” I smile at this warm-hearted woman who is such a contrast to my mother. Speaking of whom, she isn’t even here yet and the thing started like two hours ago. Neither is my father. But that’s a relief because there are two less people we need to convince of our “relationship”.

“I am sure he does” she looks at him momentarily before shifting her attention to me again. “I am glad he met someone as good as you. I can tell you make him happy”

We simultaneously look at each other. Jungkook offers me his signature dimpled smile.

“He makes me really happy too” I look at her while giving his arm a gentle squeeze. Jungkook places a kiss on my cheek catching me off guard. I gasp as I look up at him. “Jungkook…” I look at his aunt, shyness overcoming me.

“Oh don’t mind me” she waves her hand. “I was young once too and in love. I know how it is”

“Oh uh-- we’re not--”

“Bubba, I forgot. But we need to say hello to my father” Jungkook interrupts. “Aunt Jackie, do you mind?” he looks at her.

“Oh no no. Go ahead. I am going to get myself some more wine” she excuses herself.

Once she’s out of earshot he turns to me. “ What was that?”

“I know. I am sorry. I forgot for a second. This is too stressful” I lower my head.

“Hey” he holds my face in his hands and forces me to look at him. “Trust me. We’re okay. Alright?”

“Jungkook! My brother. How are you?” we both turn towards the voice.

Approaching us is someone I have not been introduced to. Jungkook beams, for only the second time after his aunt,he actually looks happy to meet someone else. A very intricate handshake follows “Hey man, how have you been? It has been a while”

“It has.” the tall stranger says. “I assume you are y./n?” he turns to me with a polite nod.

“Does everyone know?” I laugh.

“It’s not every day Jungkook brings his girlfriend home. It’s the first time he’s introduced us to someone”

Jungkook gives him a look-- the kind people give when they are embarrassed. “Come on dude, you’re ruining my bad boy image in front of my girlfriend”

every time he addresses me as his girlfriend my heart jumps.

“Wait, how do you know each other?”

“This” Jungkook throws an arm over the unknown stranger’s shoulder. “ is my cousin Hoseok. Aunt Jackie’s son. My brother from another mother”

“Oh” a look of realization passes my face. “Nice to meet you. By the way, I think I love your mother” I beam.

“Thank you. If you want we can trade places. I am sure she will be more than happy with a daughter” Hoseok chuckles.

“Please no” Jungkook’s face contorts with disgust. “That would make her my cousin” he points to me. “No thank you” he leaves his cousin’s side and stands next to me, pulling me close, his hand around my waist. “Please let my girl be my girl”

“What did you do to him?” Hoseok looks at me, almost bewildered.

“Wasn’t he always crazy?” I look at Hoseok who begins to laugh.

“I like her” he looks at Jungkook. “Don’t let this one go”

“You got it.” Jungkook nods once.

“Anyway, it was a true pleasure meeting you y/n. I have to go make sure my mother doesn’t drink herself to death” Hoseok holds his hand out for me to shake, which I do. “Nice seeing you brother”

Jungkook’s hand slips from my waist and they hug. We bid Hoseok goodbye.

“I like him” I say to Jungkook once Hoseok is gone.

“I don't think I like the fact that you like him,” Jungkook jokes, nudging me.

I stare at him blankly. “Didn’t pin you for the jealous type”

“Oh baby, you have no idea” a wolfish grin spreads on his lips.

I slap him on the chest. “Anyway, can we get some fresh air please”

He pulls me close, hand around my waist as he takes me to the secluded balcony where no one is. It looks out to the front of the mansion, the circular driveway of which is filled with expensive cars. Visible in the distance is the bridge. It’s silent save for the sounds of a soft wind that ruffles the leaves of the trees of which there are many on the front lawn.

“Do you think they believe us?” I ask and he lets go of me. We stand side by side looking to the front.

“I think so”

“Good. I can’t wait for this night to be over” I admire the stars in the sky.

“Really?” Jungkook frowns, eyes on me “ I like it”

I turn to look at him, thoroughly puzzled. “Which part?”

“All of it” he looks down at me. “I have had dates to parties like this before. But tonight is different”

“How?”

“Because you’re here and I don’t have to worry about anything. Everyone loves you. Every single person in there”-- he turns to look over his shoulder. “Has told me how lucky I am to have you”

I don’t say anything. I am not sure if there is anything I can say.

This whole night has been amazing. He has been amazing. But it’s all just a lie and a part of me feels hurt. A part of me feels like crying. As the moon reflects on his skin and he glows a part of me wants to scream at him for making me go through this. As we stand under these stars I want to tell him that everything I have done tonight has been true. I want him to know that my heart has been true.

“They are being nice.” I shrug.

“Come on” he chuckles in disbelief. “You really think they are being nice? You think this is a crowd that knows how to be nice? Yeah sure they are hypocrites but they would have found a way to tell me how much they dislike you, had they actually disliked you”

“You’re right. But we’re just acting right? So what does it matter?”

Does it?

“You’ve managed to make everyone fall for you” he says.

Except you.

“Take the win”

I nod. “I have to say though, you’re really good. You should have gone into acting instead.”

He doesn’t say anything for a bit. He just looks at me, blinking. “Yeah” he says softly, slowly nodding. “Not sure though that all of it was”

I am confused. “What do you mean?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing” He clears his throat.

I snort. “My parents didn’t even show. Typical”

“It's not worth thinking about” he shakes his head. “Should we get out of here now? I think my parents are plenty convinced”

“Please. I miss our home” I say he holds out one arm, beckoning for me. As has become the custom between us, I glue myself to his side and he holds me tight as we walk.

“I miss our home too” he says.

Jungkook makes some bullshit excuse about me not feeling well and we leave.

Chapter 10

The clock strikes 12 am and on the dot Jungkook stumbles into the apartment. I turn around as I pace for the 50th time.

“Where were you?” I run to him. He’s barely taken his shoes off as I start interrogating him.

“At work” he takes off his jacket, and hangs it on the coat rack and kicks off his shoes. His posture is slumped, he’s dragging his feet underneath him, and his eyes are droopy. He looks like death and I immediately feel terrible.

“Did you eat?” I follow after him. He collapses on the couch and closes his eyes.

He shakes his head. “Recording ran long and I forgot to eat”. His chest rises and falls with each breath.

“Hold on.” I say and run to the kitchen. I take out the ramen from the microwave and walk back to the living room. I knew he would not eat. If there is one thing I have learned in all this time, it is that Jungkook is horrible at taking care of himself. He does not put himself first, despite the confident aura he projects which would cause people to assume otherwise.

Soft sounds of Jungkook’s breaths fill in the silence. I place the bowl on the coffee table. I grab the throw and cover him with it. I sit on the floor facing Jungkook. “Kook, are you sleeping?” I ask. Just for good measure. He doesn’t respond. I wave my hand across his face and he doesn’t move. I figure he is deep asleep. I stare at his face. He’s the prettiest boy I have ever seen. He doesn’t even seem real sometimes. He’s too kind and generous, warm, and inviting. My heart swells with so many emotions that my throat tightens.

I sigh, letting the courage build inside of me.

Because I can only say these words when he’s sleeping.

“Jungkook, you know how sometimes you meet someone and everything seems like a fairytale? I feel like that with you. I never would have imagined that I would be living with someone as amazing as you. I know I don’t say it enough but thank you” I press my lips to the side of his head. “There is something I really want to say to you, but I don't think I wlll ever be able to”

He shifts and I feel my heart beginning to race. I freeze, eyes wide as I wait with bated breath. He lays on his side, facing me. I wait to make sure he’s still sleeping. When he doesn’t say anything or open his eyes, I exhale the breath I had been holding.

Can’t you like me?

I want to ask him

Because I have come to like you

I want to tell him.

He folds his arms over his chest. “What did you want to tell me?” he says sleepily.

I think my soul travels out of my body at this point because everything goes numb out of fear. “You… you’re awake?” I ask.

He opens his eyes. He looks at me, softly, and gently. “I heard the whole thing”

“You did!?”

He nods. “What can’t you tell me?”

I pull my lower lip between my teeth. “Well, if I could tell you I would”

“I think I know what it is”

I blink rapidly, my brain going into overdrive. I can’t even say anything in return.

“It’s about Taehyung isn’t it?”

Again. I can’t say anything. He’s not even close. He’s so far away from the truth.

“I know…” he gulps. “I know you like him.”

No, I don’t. I want to scream.

“I thought about it” he gets up and pats the spot next to him. “Come here”.

Like a child, I follow his words and sit beside him.

“I know I said you can’t date Taehyung. I had my own reasons for it. But I realized it was selfish of me. I didn’t consider your feelings. I only thought of myself. It was unfair of me to ask that of you. Especially me, because I was supposed to be different. I was supposed to treat you with consideration because I know so many people in your life didn’t. I wanted to be different. I am sorry I wasn’t– “

“Jungkook…”

“Let me finish, please”. He pauses. “If you and Taehyung want to go out, do it. I won’t stand in your way. I just want you to be happy”

“Jungkook…” is all I can say. I feel frustrated with myself. “I- It’s not–” I sigh and hold my head in my hands. “It’s not what you think..” I mumble.

“What?”

I look up. “I don’t want to date him”

I want to date you

Why can’t he see it in my eyes? Why can’t he tell?

“Then what is it?” he turns to me.

“If I tell you, it could ruin our friendship” my eyes begin watering, and I bite my lip to stop myself from crying.

“Nothing could ruin this” he holds my hands in his.

“There is one thing. Something you don’t know” I take comfort in looking at my lap. I cannot for the life of me make eye contact. I am not planning on confessing that I am starting to feel something for him. Something greater than platonic. Something greater than every other feeling combined.

I can feel his gaze on me. The air around us grows heavy. The silence grows even heavier as he keeps looking at me. Even though I can’t see what his expression is, I can tell that something lingers on his mind. The gentle circles he’s drawing on the back of my hand tell me he’s trying to comfort me. He’s trying to coax it out of me by being silent, by making this so awkward that I am faced with no choice but to speak.

Yet, I do not plan on saying anything to him.

But it seems like he has other ideas because I feel the warmth of his mouth on mine.

The suddenness makes my eyes go wide. It’s like the feeling of being at the highest point of a rollercoaster. The adrenaline builds for a few seconds, and then-whoosh– my heart crashes down to my toes. I feel it coming in waves.

Once

My head becomes dizzy

Twice

My heartbeat reverberates in my ears

Thrice

I feel like passing out

I see his eyes flutter close. His lips are soft and warm against mine. His hands are warm as they leave mine. They are even warmer when they touch my cheeks, trapping me so I can’t escape this.

I want this, but I also want to push him away. I don’t want him to ever stop kissing me.But I also want to tell him to stop because he’s making everything harder.

He pulls away, and his face comes into view. He places his hands in his lap as he looks at me.

I can’t stop staring.

“I just wanted to do that. I don’t know why. I just… wanted to” he looks at me, apologetically. “I am sorry I didn't ask before. I am sorry”

“Why?” I ask. My voice is barely above a whisper, but that is all I can manage.

“You just looked...." he shakes his head, a shuddering breath exhaled.

I can’t take it. I feel like I am going to collapse if I stay in the same room even for a second longer. “I have to go” I hurriedly leave and shut myself in my room.

He doesn’t call for me.

End of part 1

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, dear reader. I appreciate your time. Feel free to check out some of my other stuff and please take 2 seconds out of your time to click that heart, reblog or if you're daring enough,leave a comment. The support you show, means more than you will ever know.

#bts #bts jungkook #bts writing #bts smut #bts fake dating #bts roommate au #bts jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #jungkook scenarios

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 1 year

Note

I'm not sure if you even want to hear it but I thought I would just add my 5 cents to the whole Jimin and Jungkook discourse. Of course you don't have to post it, I'm just rambling here. Disclaimer: I'm an ex-Jikooker. I'm not anymore and haven't been since mid 2022, for many reasons. Jimin is my bias, I stopped caring about most other members a while ago and with some members I absolutely don't vibe anymore.

So, I do think Jimin and Jungkook once had something non-platonic going on. I'm not saying they ever were a couple but in my opinion they were at least exclusion hooking up with each other. Maybe on and off but they were intimate with each other before. Sometimes they did give couple vibes, like in Jimin's birthday vlive in 2021, and sometimes they didn't, so I'm honestly not sure if they were a couple or not. But as of right now they're nothing but two band members of the same band with relationship history.

Like you said too many things point to Jimin and Jungkook not being in contact much anymore. And I think it was both of their choice. I think somewhere in early 2022, maybe April/May 2022, I think they agreed to end whatever was going on between them. It was also the last time we saw them sharing a car after coming back from overseas. Things changed after that. Not just because Jimin's private mail was leaked around that time, it also seemed like suddenly Jimin and Jungkook became quite awkward with each other. The natural chemistry they had before and the natural pull towards each other was gone.

The break was announced and there was literally nothing about Jimin and Jungkook anymore until the Busan concert in October. They seemed fine there but in my opinion you noticed the emotional distance that was and is between them already back then. And after that there were only a few interactions online and when they saw each other during OT7 schedules. Other than that? Nothing points to them seeing each other off work.

Now I'm not saying they're on bad terms. They're not. They still care about each other, Jimin is still incredibly fond of Jungkook and Jungkook has his moments of missing Jimin. But that's it. Despite them clearly still caring, you can't erase feelings, they don't put effort into their relationship anymore. And that's ok. Relationships change all the time. And Jimin and Jungkook know the best what's good for them. So if they don't see the need to meet up why should they? To please the fans? Nah.

But besides that I personally don't believe Jungkook is putting effort in his relationship with Taehyung either. I think Taehyung is putting a lot of effort into it while Jungkook just let's him do it. I don't think any of the hangouts were initiated by Jungkook. Because all of them were with Taehyung's friends. Even when Hobi and Tae both came over to Jungkook's place, Jungkook asked everyone in the group chat if they had time, he didn't specifically ask Taehyung.

I think Taekook have a subunit coming and even more. They most likely will do the exact same thing Yoonmin are doing right now and I bet they will also enlist together. So I guess Taehyung just puts the most effort into the relationship that will benefit him the most. And Jungkook likes just going along with the flow, the same thing he also did with Jimin back in the days.

Hii. It's okay, it doesn't bother me that you sent this. I'm fine with reading people's opinions.

Everything you said about jikook, yes, that's pretty much what I think too. Relationships (of any kind) usually are not black or white; there's layers to them and complicated feelings that don't necessarily have to turn into complicated interactions. We can keep interactions and relationship dynamics simple even if the situation is complicated. Taekook have done it before.

The only part I don't agree with is this "I think Taehyung is putting a lot of effort into it while Jungkook just let's him do it." I don't understand why people have always had this idea that Jungkook is a pasive subject when they don't like something he does. Taekookers would say that it was the company forcing him to spend time or interact with Jimin; now jikookers are finding subtle (but still conspirational) ways of saying that Jungkook doesn't actually want to hang out with Taehyung that much and he just gets dragged along. Taehyung can't actually make him go anywhere or do anything that Jungkook doesn't want to do. We know he can say no to people; in fact, he says no to Jimin a lot.

I know Jimin will eventually be releasing more music; I just really hope and pray he doesn't release around the same time as taekook because it's going to be so messy for no reason. If hybe so badly wants their releases overlapping, they should overlap Jimin's with Namjoon's next or something. I might actually kms if it's vminkook.

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missywritesfor7 · 1 year

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🌙Moon’s Light | JJK🌙

Synopsis: Luna is a young paralegal trying to maintain her new found independence and enjoy life. Too bad her job sucks and her boss is the worst. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she encounters a vampire named Jungkook who changes her life in more ways than one.

Jungkook is a shield and protector of the vampire kingdom of Korealis. He’s trained his entire life to block out any and all distractions and focus solely on becoming the strongest. While investigating a potential threat to the kingdom, he encounters Luna who turns out to be more than he could have ever imagined. It becomes his job to protect her, but he can’t tell if what he’s feeling is his devotion to the job or perhaps something deeper.

Secrets are uncovered. Lives are on the line. Hearts are tested.

Pairing: Vampire!Jungkook x Fem!OC

Warnings: Violence, character death, eventual smut, tragedy, some angst, strong language, MINORS DNI

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|| Ch 24: Loose Ends ||

Luna and Sunyoung arrive at the portal station ready to embark on a journey to Apo Isle. Sunyoung explains how to use the portals to Luna, though she still feels thoroughly confused. She has no idea how she’s supposed to close her eyes and just “feel the connection” in order to transport.

Sunyoung can tell Luna is nervous and she assures her that everything will be fine. As long as she relaxes it will be easier for her to feel it. It takes Luna a few tries, a few defeated sighs, and a few more tries before she can finally feel the “connection” which to her feels like something tickling the front of her brain. It’s an odd feeling, but she’s quickly in a vortex of darkness and then suddenly at the station in Apo Isle. Sunyoung appears right after her with a smile on her face.

“You did it!” Sunyoung shouts. “I told you it wouldnt be hard.”

“That was weird,” Luna chuckles. “But it was awesome!”

“Now you can go anywhere! But beach first, yes?”

“Of course!” Luna jumps excitedly.

Sunyoung guides Luna to the beach where she claims they have the cleanest water of anywhere. When they get there, Luna is in awe at the beach that looks absolutely stunning. She has never seen a beach at night like this. Though it’s early in the day, the moonlight is brightly shining over the waves and the stars are reflected in the deep navy blue blanket of water. It looks like a masterpiece.

“This place is so beautiful!” Luna exclaims when they find a spot to sit.

“I told you,” Sunyoung smiles. “It’s the best place to go when you need to clear your mind.”

“I can see why. I could stay here all day.”

Luna certainly wishes she could stay. It seems like a relaxing place to be. The salt scented waves crashing along the shore rids her mind of all thoughts. She feels so light she could be floating with the stars right now. All feels well until she’s hit with a wave of thoughts. She still needs to go back home. She needs to know if anyone has reported her missing. She needs to know if her parents are still in their house undiscovered. She needs to get things that she can keep with her in Korealis, and get rid of many other things.

“I need to go home,” Luna says with her eyes still trained on the moon.

“What?” Sunyoung asks.

“I need to go back home to earth. To the human world.”

“Right now?” She asks surprised.

“Well no not this exact moment,” Luna chuckles. “But soon. Very soon. There’s a lot of loose ends I need to tie up.”

“I see. Many converts go through the same thing. Given everything Tokki has told me about your situation, I understand. Now that you know how to use the portals you can go at anytime.”

“Right, but Jungkook…”

“He’ll get over it,” Sunyoung says as if this isn’t new to her. “I know he’ll fuss and fight about it, he’s very protective of you, but he can’t hold you like a prisoner.”

“Do you think I should just go without telling him then?”

“That’s up to you. Either way, you should go get things taken care of whether he wants you to or not.”

For the first time since Luna was brought into this whole new world she feels she can finally talk to someone about Jungkook. Someone who understands how he is, but also understands how she feels. Talking with Sunyoung makes her feel so much better. She gives great advice and Luna can see why Jungkook always goes to her.

The two enjoy their time at the beach taking in the beautiful moonlight and indulging in ice cream. Afterwards Sunyoung takes Luna shopping for new clothes. She insisted that it wasn’t necessary but Sunyoung was persistent. They stop by a small snack place for lunch and end their trip at a bakery where Sunyoung picks up a cheesecake that she says is Jungkook’s favorite.

They return to the house with their arms and stomachs full. Luna had a great time and is happy that she now knows how to use the portals so she can visit many other places.

“I brought your favorite cheesecake!” Sunyoung shouts from the kitchen to bring Jungkook out of wherever he’s hiding in the house.

“Really?” He asks walking into the kitchen with apprehension.

“Yeah, we-“ she looks up and notices the large scratch across his face. “Tokki what happened??” She races to him gliding her fingers across the still unhealed wound.

“Nothing, just a little fight last night,” he says turning away from her touch.

“Why didn’t you say anything? I have something you can put on it.” She reaches for his face again for a better look.

“I know, I already put some on. It’s fine,” he says taking her hand.

“Your father didn’t do this, did he?”

“No, mom. Just business. It’s fine.”

“Just business,” she lightly sighs. “If you say so.”

He looks over at the counter where his beloved cheesecake sits then he notices all of the shopping bags they returned with.

“What is all of this?” He asks inspecting everything. “You guys went to Apo Isle?”

“Yeah,” Sunyoung smiles. “I showed her the beach there.”

“How’d you get there?” He asks.

“The portals, how else?” She chuckles.

“What? LuLu can’t use portals, how did you carry her there?”

“I didn’t carry her, silly. I showed her how to use the portals, so now you don’t have to. You’re welcome,” she smirks.

Luna chuckles eliciting a sharp look from Jungkook. She can’t help but laugh at how much he and his mother are alike.

“I could have showed her,” he pouts.

“You were too busy hiding.” She sasses.

“Thank you for the cheesecake,” he says softening his tone and giving her a hug.

“That’s what I thought,” she smiles hugging him back.

He digs in to the cheesecake as if he hadn’t eaten in ages. As the day goes on Luna can’t help but notice how much more at ease he is compared to this morning. Sunyoung hasn’t pressed him further about last night and the scratch on his face. It’s almost as if she either doesn’t mind or she’s simply used to this type of thing. Luna wishes she could get herself to be the same way, but it’s hard to stop her mind from racing. What happened and could it happen again?

That night while they’re in bed Luna can’t help herself from once again gently guiding her fingers along his cheek. She can tell it brings him some bit of discomfort even though he’s trying his best to keep a straight face, he can’t hide the subtle way his pupils twitch when he’s in pain. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it, but Luna can see it.

“Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?” Luna asks softly.

“Yeah,” he lies. “It’s fine.”

“If you say so.”

Luna wants to push, but she thought of how Sunyoung handled it. She didn’t fuss or fight him to tell her anything. She simply made sure he was ok then moved on. After that Jungkook became more at ease, as opposed to irritated and a bit scary like he was in the morning. Luna doesn’t want a repeat of that so this time she decides to let it go.

“You should have come to the beach with us,” Luna says changing the subject. “It was really fun.”

“Maybe next time,” he says with a small smile. “How was it learning to use the portals?”

“It took a few tries but I finally got it. Now I can go anywhere,” she smiles. “Your mom told me about a lot of places I could visit, there’s a few I’d love to go check out.”

“Really? Where would you want to go first?” He asks pulling her close against his chest.

“I don’t know. I figured maybe I should go home first before I do anything else.”

“Home?”

“Yeah,” she says hesitantly. “There’s still some things I need to tie up before leaving it all behind. I figured I should probably go soon before I’m reported missing or something.”

“Soon? How soon? It’s still not safe for you.”

“How? I’m not half human anymore so what could happen? I’ll stay out of the sunlight or whatever and it will be fine.”

“It won’t be fine if one of the SV guys find out where you are.”

“But it won’t kill me if they go through it now, right?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t exactly mean it’s safe. If you go alone and that happens how would you defend yourself?”

“Well…I’ll just have you with me to fight them,” she says with a cheeky smile.

“If that’s the case then you’re not going until we capture everyone in that organization.”

“Kiss my ass,” she growls. “I’m not waiting however long that’s going to take. I’ll just go myself.”

“You’re definitely not doing that.”

“Says who?”

“Me!” He scoffs. “It’s not happening.”

“It is happening,” she huffs. “I’m going with or without you, your choice.”

“What’s wrong with waiting a bit?”

“My parents are laying dead in their house and I haven’t been heard from in almost 2 weeks. I can’t wait any longer, I need to go.”

“Your parents aren’t in the house anymore. Taehyung called the police after the last time we were there. I checked later and everything has been cleaned up. You don’t need to go.”

“You guys got everything cleaned up there? Everything?”

“Yes,” he grips her tighter as if she’s about to float away. “It’s almost as it was before anything happened there.”

“So now people know they’re dead? But…now I really have to go!”

“What?” Jungkook asks confused. He thought telling her this would stop her from going, not make her want to go more.

“People are definitely looking for me now! My parents are dead and I’m nowhere to be found. They probably think I killed them and ran away. I have to go sort things out!”

“How the hell are you going to do that? Tell them some vampires came and killed them?”

“That’s the truth.”

“But they’d never believe it! You know it. If you go back and they catch you they’ll never let you go because they’ll think you’re guilty. You’re not going.”

“Then I could go without being seen. I’ll go late at night, get what I need to get and do what I need to do, then come back before the sun comes up.”

“Do you really think that will work?”

“It has to,” Luna says confidently. “There’s no other choice.”

“Yes there is. The other choice is to not go like I’m telling you.”

“Go to sleep, Jungkook,” she huffs rolling to her side and turning her back to him.

“I mean it,” he asserts.

“Shut up and close your eyes.”

Luna lays there hoping that sleep takes her over soon. She knew he wouldn’t agree to her going home even for just a short time. His permission isn’t needed though. She knows how to use the portals now so she knows there’s nothing he can do.

The next day she feels much too eager to wait any longer. She spends the day silently thinking of a plan to slip away and go to the station. At the same time Jungkook knows she can be sneaky and is making sure to keep a close eye on her.

Unfortunately for him, he’s called to a meeting at the palace. A meeting is held at least once or twice a month with the King for all royal personnel to go over any plans, updates, and whatever else needs to be discussed regarding the state of the kingdom. Jungkook always dreads these meetings because he can never keep himself awake. They tend to drag on for much too long and it’s worse if the group gets off topic. Still, he can’t avoid them, and he reluctantly leaves that evening to attend the meeting.

Luna sees this as her chance. She doesn’t know if or when she’ll get another opportunity to go back home without Jungkook getting on to her. With Sunyoung’s much appreciated support and encouragement, Luna equips herself with a large backpack and heads for the portal station. She’s glad it’s late so hopefully she can go and come back without being seen. She plans to take her time because this may be the last chance she gets to go back for a while. She needs to leave with nothing left unfinished.

Jungkook is sitting in the meeting hall between Jin and Hoseok. Both are experts in keeping him awake and give him no other choice in who to sit next to. This time Jungkook is lucky because although he’s the shield who’s supposed to protect Jin, Jin is also the protection Jungkook needs from his father. Minseok has been glaring at Jungkook the entire meeting but he wouldn’t do anything with Jin around. He’s only the prince and second in line behind his brother to the throne, but he’s still the prince of royal blood. Minseok may be an irrational hothead most times, but he knows better than to act out in front of royal blood.

Not much is discussed outside of the usual topics. The guys agreed to keep their investigation into SV a secret, but they know the arrests of Yeonjun and the other members that have been caught are going to require some sort of explanation. As of right now the story is that they’ve all been arrested for using unofficial portals. It’s enough to satisfy everyone except Minseok who suspects much more going on. The King mentioned Yeonjun being linked to SV but he doesn’t know near as much as the guys do. He only asked that everyone remain vigilant.

At the end of the meeting Jungkook tries to leave quickly to get back to Luna, but his father catches him in the hallway.

“Do you think you can hide from me forever?” Minseok says through his teeth.

“No.” Jungkook says trying to walk around him, but Minseok stops him.

“What kind of shield runs to his mother every time he gets too scared to be a man?”

“The kind that’s strong enough to know that having a heart isn’t a weakness,” Jungkook snaps.

“Oh yeah? Is that why you clearly held your own and let someone scratch your face like that?”

“Why are you up my ass like this?” Jungkook says letting his frustration come out. “Junghyun doesn’t even LIVE HERE but you still treat me like I’m the wayward fucking child.”

“Junghyun never let his girlfriend assault his own father!”

“She’s not-whatever! Are you fucking scared of her?”

“I would NEVER be scared of a weak convert! You’d be wise to watch your tongue when you talk to me,” Minseok growls.

“But she fucked you up really good, didn’t she?” Jungkook smirks. “I see you’re using your backup leg.”

“You little-“

“Minseok-ssi,” Jin says approaching them and saving Jungkook from the consequences of once again pissing his father off.

“Highness,” Minseok says bowing to Jin.

“I hope you don’t mind, I need to speak with Jungkook for a moment.” Jin’s tone sounds serious making Jungkook a bit anxious.

“Not at all,” Minseok says bowing again. Regardless of what he thinks is truly going on, he knows he could never deny Jin, his highness, anything. No one will win against anyone of royal blood, not even the long standing shield and elder Jeon Minseok.

Jungkook follows Jin outside, and once they’re far enough away that no one can hear them, Jin stops and smiles at Jungkook.

“You looked like you needed an escape so I decided to be nice and come rescue you,” Jin laughs.

“Oh,” Jungkook says breathing a sigh of relief. “I owe you.”

“You owe me big. How’s Luna doing?”

“She’s fine. Her and my mom are enjoying each other’s company.” Jungkook is suddenly hit with the reminder of why he was trying to rush off in the first place. “Shit, hyung my mom taught her how to use the portals. She started talking about going back to the human world. I need to go because I have a feeling she’s going to sneak away while I’m gone.”

“By herself?” Jin asks.

“Most likely.”

“Go. Be careful.” Jin waves Jungkook off so he can rush back and make sure Luna doesn’t get into any trouble.

Jungkook runs off nearly running to his mom’s house on foot forgetting that he drove. He jumps in the car and speeds off making it to the house in half the time it normally would have taken. He runs into the house and sees his mom alone in the kitchen preparing dinner.

“Where’s LuLu?” He asks out of breath.

“She went out,” Sunyoung says casually.

“Out where?”

“She said she needed to take care of some things at home. Tie up loose ends. You know, what most converts do.”

“And you let her go?!” Jungkook asks throwing his hands up.

“Who am I to stop your girlfriend from going?”

“She’s not-“ Jungkook inhales sharply. “You shouldn’t have let her go alone.”

“Well I would have gone with her but I needed to get started on dinner. I told her to be safe and I’ll have a plate for her when she gets back.”

“Mom you’re not helping!” Jungkook fusses.

“Why can’t she go alone? I made her a few snacks to take along in case she needs, she’ll be fine.”

“Mom!” Jungkook clasps his hands together in front of his face and takes a deep breath attempting to lower his frustration. “You are an enabler and I will deal with you when I get back.”

“I’ll keep the food warm for you,” she smirks. “Be careful, and go easy on her.”

“I’ll think about it.” He gives her a quick kiss on the forehead and heads for the portal station.

He wishes his mom would have at least tried to stop Luna from going on her own, instead of encouraging her. He’s not surprised though. Maybe he should have made Luna’s situation more clear to her, then she’d know how dangerous it is to have her on earth alone.

He makes his way through the portal and runs to Luna’s parent’s house thinking she’d likely be there trying to uncover more secrets. He’s relieved that she at least came at night, but only a little. When he gets to the house what little relief he felt quickly fades as he realizes Luna isn’t there. He turns back and heads to Luna’s apartment cursing himself for wasting time by going to the wrong place first. Of course he had no way of knowing where she would be, but once again logic and reasoning eludes him and he blames himself.

He gets to Luna’s apartment and quietly slips inside. He hears rustling and follows the sound to see her on the floor of her bedroom closet going through a box. He stands there a moment not making a sound just to see how long it would be before she notices him.

Luna started her journey looking for old pictures she wanted to keep and while she was doing that she remembered her box of memories stuffed away in the corner. She’s had the box nearly all her life to preserve any precious memories. It’s like opening a time capsule and Luna has been entranced ever since she opened it.

She’s gone through many old report cards and various academic certificates she earned for having the best test scores in her class. She flipped through a few of her old yearbooks and even found an old note her school crush gave her. Though she later learned that her crush did it as a dare, she for some reason held on to the delusion for nearly a year after that.

“Fucking hopeless,” she chuckles to herself wondering why she kept the note even after the delusion wore off.

“Yes you are,” says a voice behind her.

Luna jumps nearly 6 feet in the air and lets out a shrill scream at the sight of Jungkook glaring at her with his arms crossed.

“What the fuck are you doing here you creepy fuck!?” Luna yells throwing a hanger at Jungkook.

“I should be asking you that! I told you not to come here, and especially not alone.”

“Well what the fuck are you going to do about it now, Scarface? I’m already here so fuck off so I can get my heart rate back to normal!” She turns away from him and sits back on the floor in the closet.

“Scarface?” He huffs.

“Put a fucking bell on next time you silent asshole.”

“If you had waited…”

“Who do you think you are? I can go wherever I want whenever I want,” she says doing a terrible job at hiding her frustration. He just scared the shit out of her so her voice is stuck in a fiery tone until her nerves calm back down.

“I know, I just,” he lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m trying to protect you. I…want to protect you. For whatever reason, I feel like I may lose you if you’re out of my sight, and I don’t like that.”

“You shouldn’t hang on so tightly to something you’re unsure about,” Luna mumbles.

“Who says I’m unsure?”

“Are you?”

Jungkook can’t seem to form the answer. Of course he’s sure, but why won’t his lips let him say that? He’s never been more sure about anything in his life aside from the oath he took to protect the Kim family and the kingdom.

“After all this time and everything I’ve done for you, you’re still not convinced?” He asks taking a seat next to her on the floor.

“When this is all over,” Luna starts. “What happens?”

“We’ll have everyone with SV locked up and the kingdom will be safe, and so will you,” he says as if she should know better by now.

“That’s not what I mean,” she sighs. “This all started because of what I am and this portal. I’ve become the most protected convert in the kingdom, but then what? Where would I go? I can’t possibly stay at the palace after everything is over.”

“Says who?”

“I’m not part of the royal entourage nor do I work for the royal family at any capacity. Plus your father lives down the hall and absolutely hates me. No way I can stay there.”

“If you’re with me,” he says gently taking her hand into his. “It won’t matter.”

“When I’m with you? In your room?”

“Anywhere. Everywhere. If…you want.”

Luna looks into his nervous yet soft eyes. His jaw is clinched in anticipation of what her response will be. He hasn’t been able to convince himself that Luna feels for him the way he feels for her, but he knows that he doesn’t want to lose her. Not after everything he’s done thus far to keep her alive. The only thing that could take her away from him now, the only thing he can’t fight, is her, and that terrifies him.

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