#I MEAN I DO DRAW SOME BLOOD BUT FOR SOME REASON I CAN'T HANDLE THE HTF ONE ITS JUST GORE JUMPSCARE

[radaverse]

DUDES I LEGIT FOUND A HAPPY TREE FRIENDS VERSION WITH NO GORE OMG

I know it's kinda ironic of me to whine about the gore [glances to pt ToM and sj PoM]

BUT MAN I DO LIKE THE CHARACTERS THE ARTSTYLE AND THE WAY THE SHOW IS MADE

I JUST NEVER ACTUALLY WATCHED IT BECAUSE IT'S too painful

AND WATCHING A NON-GORE VERSION IS SUCH A RELIEF

bro that was so wholesome actually

[oldandcrusty]

What Avvar mage training tells us

Not enough people talk about the Avvar, which is a shame because they have some amazing history and practices. I find the way they handle mages to be especially enlightening and based as fuck.

So I made this post to summarise it!

In the above video, I captured two conversations with the Augur of Stone-Bear Hold, and Sigrid - the mage-in-training who went into a self-imposed exile. I'll summarise what mage training looks like for the Avvar, and then delve into the implications.

Augurs are the spiritual leaders of the Hold, but are not necessarily mages - though they often are.

Spirits are called 'gods' by the Avvar. The Avvar do also have named gods, and these appear to be particularly powerful spirits.

Mages among the Avvar bind themselves to a spirit in order to be trained - i.e., they become 'abominations' in the eyes of the chantry, which Dorian confirms in the video. This occurs at a young age, in Sigrid's case when she was a child.

The spirit becomes the mage's trainer. Years later, when the training is done, the mage releases the spirit in a ritual which requires only a small sacrifice (like a bird) and a vial of lyrium.

If a mage cannot release the spirit, then the situation is handled carefully. In Sigrid's case, she just didn't want to say goodbye to a good friend. She goes to the Augur after this, and he confirms that they are working on helping her overcome her loneliness.

If the reason is they are truly incapable of releasing the spirit (they are 'weak', though it's unclear what this means), then the Hold and spirits watches over them to prevent them from growing 'sick'. The Augur implies that if the mage does sicken and endangers themselves or the Hold, they are euthanised and pass away peacefully in their sleep. He says it is a very sad event.

What are the implications of this, then?

Reversing 'possession' can actually be really easy. We knew it was possible from DAO, but now we see that it need not require a massive amount of lyrium or blood magic. If the 'possession' does not happen in a state of extreme desperation/distress (which the Circle and Templars love to put mages in), then reversal is simple.

Mages who cannot release the spirit might 'sicken' - and I suspect that's what they tried to show with Anders. What 'sicken' means is not clarified by the Augur, but from our Anders experience we can piece together that the Augur means they grow mentally and physically unwell. But even this can be prevented or mitigated with proper care.

It appears to be very, very rare that mages among the Avvar turn into the types of abominations we fight in the games, because the Augur never even mentions it happening.

So, in conclusion: The Avvar treat their mages with the most humanity and compassion of everyone, resulting in very few instances of violent abominations.

(Note: tbh I have no idea wtf the Dalish mage training is like because the games contradict themselves even within the same clan, so I can't really draw comparisons to the Dalish, unfortunately.)

[hexxedghost]

Uhh bsky seemed to like this thread when I posted it, so thought I might put it here too.

It's the only smut I've written (and man am I in awe of people who can just write smut all the time, I was in struggle town lads)

Top!Ghost, Bottom!Soap. Little hint of praise kink, I just want Ghost to call Soap a good boy and have Soap's brain melt over it.

Good Boy

In Soap’s defence, it had never happened before. He’d been praised for his work. 

A clap on the back and a ‘Good work, son’ from Price.

A cheeky grin and a ‘There’s a good lad.’ from Gaz

It felt good to have his work recognised. It left a warm, comforting sense of pride in his chest.

But when Ghost rested a heavy hand on his shoulder, leaning over with hot breath against his ear to say: “Good boy, Johnny.”

It nearly takes him out at the knees. The blood rushes south so fast, he nearly blacks out. As he walks away he can feel Ghosts eyes on him, face hot as the stumbles the first few steps.

The prick looks amused. Fucker.

It could have been fine, though, a one-off oddity that he can safely ignore until he’s in the privacy of his bunk.

But it wasn’t just once.

He swears Ghost is doing it just to fuck with him now.

He's sly about it, never saying when it's obvious or going to draw attention.

It's almost like he waits until Soap feels like he's back on solid footing before he casually drops it into conversation.

It was a quick murmur as they leave the helo after a mission, the sound of the chopper blades drowning out everything else as the hand on Soap's shoulder sears him like a brand.

Or an offhand comment when they've gone for a smoke, the words cheeky as Soap hands over the rolled cigarette.

The others don’t notice, too used to tuning out their banter by now. The addition of the occassional 'Good Boy' blending in with all the other colourful commentary they normally keep up.

Which is probably why Ghost feels ballsy enough to pull that shit during a mission.

After Soap has a frantic few seconds disarming a tangle of trips rigged to blow the building out from under them.

"Building safe, copy." he radios out, hands still shaking from how close that call had been.

“There’s a good boy, Johnny.” comes the heavy rasp crackling over the speaker.

On comms for fucks sake! Soap wants to fuckin throttle him.

Ghost is doing it just to get a rise out of him. And he hates that it's working.

Even when they’re at mess afterwards, hail and hearty with a successful mission right behind them, he can't seem to help teasing Soap.

“Nice job on that last one, Tav.” Gaz slaps him on the shoulder as he takes his seat.

“Youngest in the SAS for a reason.” Soap says around a mouthful of food, winking as Gaz pulls a face.

“Was well handled, nicely done, Soap." Price murmurs behind his mug.

"Proper good boy aren't you, Johnny?" comes the rumble at the end of the table.

His cheeks burn as Gaz and Price laugh. They don’t mean anything by it, they figure it's just being lads and taking the piss.

Soap risks a glance at Ghost and sees his eyes trained on him, a glint of something burning and dangerous peeking through the mask.

Christ he was so fucked.

-

It’s later on, past midnight, when he decides that something has to be done about it.

His can't focus when they’re on mission, either fuzzy with lust or trying to walk in a way that doesn't give away he’s hard enough to punch through wood.

He's not putting his squad at risk just because he's tenting his shorts like some hormonal teenager.

The sound of his knuckles rapping against the door feels louder in the late night air.  There's no answer at first, and he wonders if he's made a mistake, should just go back to his bunk.

But then the door opens, Ghost blinking languidly at him.

“Took you long enough.” he rasps.

“Piss off, ye feckin reprobate.” Soap shoulders his way past the door into Ghost's room and throws himself into a chair and feeling a little pissy he’ll admit.

Across the room, Ghost leans against the door, arms crossed and looking at Soap expectantly.

This was going to be like pulling teeth, and he can tell the bastard is amused by it all; eyes seeming to brighten under the mask.

“So, what's your reason, then?” he finally gets out.

“For?” Ghost asks, tilting his head.

Of course, the cunt was gonna make him say it. Part of Soap wants to just give up, storm out. Just go to his room, wank himself unconscious to be done with it.

But Ghost was blocking the door. On purpose, Soap would bet.

“Why do ye keep callin' me a fuckin good boy, eh?” he presses

Ghost holds his gaze and blinks slowly, “Morale”

Fuck it, Soap is leaving, he’s not playing this fuckin game. Even if he has to wrestle the man out of the door. He shoves at the big bastard to move.

“Telling me you didn’t like it, Johnny?” Ghost asks, barely moving from the force of the push Soap gave him.

Soap growls, frustrated, “No’ about that, is it? You dinnae call Gaz or feckin Price that. Is only me you do that to.”

“S’right. Only you.” Ghost counters.

He looks up at Ghost to find that gaze burning into him. This feels dangerous.

“Feelin a bit singled out is all, LT.” he mumbles, hand coming up to awkwardly rub at his neck.

He feels like he's on the wrong foot now, not sure where's safe to step in this minefield of a conversation.

Ghost pushes off the door and moves toward him. It feels like being hunted, and Soap is very quickly learning that apparently he likes that.

He stumbles as the back of his knees hit the bunk and suddenly Ghost is looming above him.

His blood feels molten, too close to his skin and rushing through him. There’s a buzz in his ears and his throat clicks when he swallows.

This close, he can feel Ghost chuckle, feel the hot wet breath on his neck when he leans down.

"D'you want this?" he asks, voice low.

Soap's tongue seems to stick to his mouth, unable to form words.

The prospect of finally getting to have the thing he'd been obsessing over for weeks.

The thing he'd spent the dead of night fucking his fist too, face hot with the shame of it.

It left his head spinning.

Eventually he manages to choke out,   

"Yes. Fuckin' yes, Ghost, pleas—"

He cuts off as Ghost grabs him by his hair, pulling just enough for his scalp to prickle as he growls in his ear.

"Good boy."

The whine that comes out of Soap should be embarrassing, but he's too gagging for it to care.

Ghost lets go of Soap's hair and stands back, just out of reach.  

"Get your kit off then, or do I have to do all the work?"

“Shoulda known you’d be a nasty bastard.” Soap snarks as he pulls his shirt over his head.

“Reckon you like that, Johnny.” comes the smug reply.

Soap ignores him, fumbling for his belt, shoving his pants down to his knees.

His head falls back, groaning lowly as the pressure on his cock finally lets. He goes to take a moment to collect himself. But instead there's rough hands tugging them the rest of the way, boots yanked off and tossed into the corner of the room.

"Impatient aren't we LT?" he jokes weakly, heart hammering in his chest.

The words die out as the bed dips. Ghost straddles him, settling on his chest heavily.

Soap feels like nothing exists beyond him, the way Ghost fills his vision. Calm and collected as he casually unzips and takes himself in hand.

"Done this before, Johnny boy?" he asks lightly, as if he wants to know the weather and not whether Soap's sucked cock before.

"Dinnae flatter yersel' Ghost. No' my first." Soap eventually rasps out, eyeing the thick length in Ghost's hand.  "I can take ye."

Ghost chuckles at that, "We'll see about that."

He taps the heavy head of his cock on Soap’s lips.

“Open up.” he orders.

God fuckin help him, Soap does, and tries to ignore the way his blood fucking sings at the single huff of approval out of the man over him

His head swims at the scent of hot skin and musk, mouth flooding with saliva at the taste of salty skin on his tongue as Ghost steadily feeds him his cock.

Part of him wants to drag his teeth against the tender flesh, just to be a brat, but there are strong hands in his hair and his eyes fall half closed.

Ghost hasn’t even taken his gloves off, still practically dressed.

At the realisation, Soap feels himself moan around the length in his mouth, Ghost's hands tightening in his hair.

“Knew you’d be good for me.” Ghost says, his voice is dark, and eyes bright in the dim light of the room

Soap can feel the sticky pool on his stomach from his cock, already angry red and steadily leaking.

“With me, Johnny.” Ghost demands.

Soap tears his eyes back to the man above him, the lighting making it seem like Ghost's eyes are molten gold.

He can tell under the mask he's smiling.

“There you are sweet'eart.”

He can’t stop the groan that comes out of him, stomach clenching at the petname.

Ghost adjusts his grip on Soap's hair, testing how much he can take before adjusting and rocking his hips forward.

“Just take it, there you go. There’s my good boy, eh?”

He relaxes his throat and breathes deep until his eyes start to water and his head swims with it. He’s already so close and he hasn’t even been touched yet, cock twitching each time Ghost bottoms out.

There's a moment, which his nose buried in the coarse hair at the root of Ghost's cock that he looks up and locks eyes with him. It's like staring at glowing coals, flickering embers held in the dark with a smouldering heat that scalds his blood.

Soap's feels his cock twitch in warning, he's so fucking close, he feels his eyes start to roll back.

But then Ghost smoothly pulls out of his mouth, leaving Soap gasping and blinking away the tears. Lightheaded and dizzy from the sudden rush of oxygen into his lungs.

“Not bad. Reckon there's room for improvement.” Ghost says, chuckling at the frustrated sob Soap lets out against his thigh. There's the soft touch of a hand through his hair, before Ghost moves away, sitting at the side of the bed. Soap throws an arm over his eyes, chest heaving with each breath.

There's the feeling of a gloved hand trailing over his stomach, making him jump.

“Nearly made a mess of yourself, though.” he hears Ghost tease.

“Fuck off” Soap's voice cracks, Christ he sounds wrecked

He looks at Ghost from under his arm, seeing his eyes trace the same path as his fingers had.

“Ye could get more comfortable, ye know?” he grumbles, causing Ghost to look over at him. As much as it had been exciting, he's starting to feel awkward completely starkers while Ghost could zip up and be ready for the tarmac.

“I look uncomfortable to you?”

The bastard is grinning, Soap can tell.

“Ye look like yer dressed for a fuckin funeral.” Soap quips, looking at the ceiling, heart still beating too fast.

“Can’t have you dying before I’ve had my fun.” Ghost teases as he gest to his feet and  strips off.  The pale flesh and scars are devoured by Soap’s hungry gaze as his eyes are drawn back, like a moth to a flame.

As he drops the last piece of clothing to the floor, he looks over to Soap on the bed.

“Mask stays on.” he says, the rest of him bare.

“I dinnae care.” Soap lies.

Both of their eyes tracking how his cock jumped at the idea.

Ghost laughs, not unkindly, “Slag.”

The bed shifts under him as Ghost settles at the end of it. Soap sits up on his elbows, suddenly nervous.

He's no stranger to casual dalliance, to a quick and dirty release stolen in a pub bathroom or if he's lucky someone's flat if they're generous.

But it's Ghost.

It matters. It's not something he leaves in the early hours, hidden in cigarette smoke and strangers mouths. What if it ruins everything?

"Johnny?" Ghost is looking at him, a hand circled around Soap's ankle.

"M'fine," he says without thinking, scrambling for an excuse for his sudden silence, "was jus' wondering how ye want me?"

He goes to roll over, but there's a sudden fierce grip on his hips as Ghost tugs him down the bed, keeping him on his back.

"Wanna see you." is all Ghost says.

Soap feels like his heart is lodged in his throat, as Ghost rummages around in the bedside table.

"You've done this part before, haven't you?" it's a genuine question. But there's that teasing tone to it that has Soap rolling his eyes, falling back into the rhythm of their banter.

"Oh aye, I'm a fuckin blushin virgin." he jokes, kicking out and catching Ghost in the side. "Chaste as a priest, I am."

Ghost glances up at him, the heat still in his eyes.

“Better start praying then Johnny. Won’t be after I’m done with you.“

Soap feels his breath catch at the threat. “That a promise, LT?”

Ghost doesn’t respond, instead just clicks the bottle of lube open, pouring some onto his fingers and pressing two into Soap. There's an intensity to his focus as he presses deeper until they brush against the spot that punches a groan out of Soap.

"There we are."

"Hurry it up will ye?" Soap growls. He'd been trying to ignore the dull ache of being stretched open. But now there was a steady building at the base of his spine, his breath coming in shallow, cock filling out again after flagging.

"Patience is a virtue, Johnny." Ghost murmurs.

Soap winces at the feeling of Ghost removing his fingers, looking down as there’s a pause.

“Ye alright?”

He can't help but ask.

He gets a nod in response.

“Well, come on then. Show me how nasty ye are.” he wiggles his eyebrows and revels in the small huff of a laugh from Ghost as he lines himself up.

“Might regret that, Johnny.” Ghost says, locking eyes with him.

“Regret you takin yer fuckin tim-” he cuts off in a groan as Ghost smoothly presses the head of his cock in, his other hand tightly gripping Soap's waist.

“Fuckin hell, coulda warned me.” he says to Ghost's shoulder.

Ghost hums. "Could’ve.”

“Prick.” Soap lets his head fall back. He relaxes into the feeling, letting his body adjust. Ghost waits until Soap gives him a nod before slowly sheathing himself to the root.

That lightheaded feeling is back as Soap rests his head against Ghost's sternum. That languid bloodwarm feeling of being full trickling up his spine.

“You solid?” he hears from above him.

Soap shifts a bit, feeling the ache of how stretched he was. “Aye.”

“Good.” is all the warning he gets before the first thrust knocks the breath out of Soap’s lungs. His hands come up to grasp at Ghost's biceps, groaning at the drag of skin on skin, wet heat and rushing blood.

It's not gentle, he’s sure he’ll have bruises on his hips to hide for weeks from the whiteknuckle grip Ghost has. But he could tell the bastard was holding back.

“I’m no’ made of glass, Ghost, I can take it.” he bites out.

Ghost laughs in his ear. “Careful Johnny, or I’ll ruin you for anyone else.”

The response is automatic.

“Ye already have.”

Ghost stills and Soap feels immediate panic he’d overstepped.

They hadn’t spoken about what this was.

Whether it was just a bit fun to left off steam or something more that they'd been dancing around for years.

Before he can scramble to come up with an apology, a joke to lessen the seriousness of what he’s just let fall out of his mouth, Ghost gives a snarl.

He snaps his hips forwards and Soap can swear he feels it in his throat.

The grip on his hips tightens so hard it nearly hurts as Ghost drives into him. It feels primal and possessive, heady and addicting as he rakes his nails down pale flesh, urging for more.

Ghost grabs the back of his neck, pulls him forward so he can growl in his ear.

“Made for this aren’t you, made for me.”

It isn’t a question, though Soap thinks he’s nodding. He feels dizzy with it, how much he wants this, how much Ghost wants him.

“Gonna be a good boy for me, Johnny?”

Ghost voice sounds raw, eyes burning as the meet Soap's.

“Fuck.” Soap sobs, it sounds more like a plea than an answer.

“There you are, sweet'eart, show me how well you take me.”

Soap falls back on the bed, Ghost's hand drifting from the back of his neck down to his thighs. He can feel the rough calluses on his skin, feel his teeth nearly rattle as Ghost slams into him.

It’s too much, just on this side of painful and he never wants it to end.

There's a dizzying feeling every time he feels Ghosts cock drag against him in just the right way. There's bruises blooming on his hips under the near deathgrip Ghost has on him.

“Thought about this a lot. How good you'd be for me.”

Soap doesn't have it in him to respond, he feels like he’s sinking deeper into a calm. His body goes lax and boneless, mind buzzing at the pleased growl from Ghost when his body just submits.

“Love seeing you like this Johnny, fucked brainless and still fuckin desperate for me.”

That pulls a whine out him, clenching down around the cock still driving deeper into him. He thought Ghost would be quiet, but each word of praise fills him like warm honey, mind swimming.

“Show me you can come like this, sweet'eart.”

Soap can already feel himself hurtling towards the edge, wrapping an arm around the back of Ghost's neck and pulling him close.  

"Fuck, Ghost, please." he pleads.

He hears Ghost's voice in his ear, raw and rough, “That's it love, be pretty for me.”

That does it.

Soap's entire body seems to lock up for a moment, pleasure sparking through him and settling into the base of his skull with a blistering heat. His cock pulses, untouched and painting his stomach.

“There’s a good boy.” he hears Ghost murmur. He bites down on the meat of Ghost's shoulder to muffle the whine that threatens to make its way out, hearing those words.

As he comes down, dizzy still, his head lolls forward, like his strings have been cut. He dimly registers the twitch of Ghost’s cock inside him, and softly groans at the feeling of it slipping out of him spent.

Soap slumps on the bed without Ghost’s grip holding him, body heavy and lax after the orgasm that was wrung out of him. He should get up, he knows the routine. He should leave so he isn't intruding.

Instead, his eyelids grow heavy and he drifts into darkness.

When he comes back to himself, he's been cleaned up, blanket pulled over him to keep out the chill. There’s a solid weight beside him.

“Back with me?” Ghost asks.

“Solid.” his words sound slurred, but the laugh from Ghost isn’t cruel. Soap pushes himself up so he's sitting, before Ghost speaks again.

"Didn't hurt you, did I?" There is a weight to his words, even though he's clearly trying to keep the tone light.

"Reckon me hips'll have a few bruises. I dinnae mind that though." he glances down at the purple on his side. It's not quite a handprint but enough of a suggestion of one. Showers were going to be fun.

He jumps as Ghost trails a finger over one, gentle and completely at odds with what had caused them.

"I'll keep that in mind." Ghost says. There's something about his voice that's off, doesn't feel like it's hitting Soap's ears like it normally does. He looks over to ask him if he's alright. It takes Soap a moment to realise what’s different.

“Ye weren’t lyin. Yer a bonnie bastard beneath the mask.”

He gets a smirk in response, and his heart fuckin clenches with it. He still hadn’t asked what this meant, for them. He suddenly feels vulnerable, naked and tucked into the covers of Ghost’s bunk.

"Eh, sorry for passing out on ye at the end there," Soap mumbles, his ears burning.

Ghost shrugs, "S'fine. Don't mind."

Thre's a quiet, but the buzzing unease under Soap's skin doesn't settle. Just like before, he doesn't know where to put his feet, worried he'll detonate whatever this is between them.

"Do ye want me to leave?" he asks like an idiot.

“Got somewhere to be?” Ghost raises an eyebrow.

"You reckon there's somewhere I should be?" he counters with another question. It's the same dance they've done for years, always toeing the line but neither crossing. Strange to have the feeling after they've fucked like they'd die without it.

Ghost sighs after a moment, and Soap readies himself for the pushback. The return to status quo.

Instead, Ghost grabs him by his chin, holding his gaze steady.

"If I wanted a quick fuck I've got more than enough offers, Johnny. Wouldn't have risked this."

He rests his forehead against Soap's.

Their breaths merge in the space between them,

"Fucking said before, didn't I? Only you." he says softer this time, thumb absently running along Soap's jawline.

It feels like the minefields behind them. Throwing caution to the wind, Soap moves forward and kisses him.

Something in him settles when Ghost's hand shifts from his chin to cup his face, a warm feeling in his chest that burns brighter than pride as he drags his teeth and gets a nip back in retaliation.

It feels just like the normal back and forth in a strange way that makes him laugh, Ghost grumbling a bit.

"Was enjoying that." he murmurs into the crook of Soap's neck.

"Was enjoying not doing missions half mast, but ye ruined that ye fuckin bastard," Soap counters, frowning as he feels Ghost smile against his skin. He shoves him.

"Ye can't be calling me fuckin good boy in front of the others." he says seriously. As much as his blood sings with how good this all feels, he doesn't want it to effect the team, or his ability to do his job.

"I won't." Ghost says, and actually sounds like he means it. 

He pulls Soap close to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pressing his face into his neck. Sleep doesn't make them wait long.

[shkika]

Since my wrist is killing me and I can't draw, have my ramblings about machines having souls and being able to become husks and also just Ultrakill thoughts! Predictions about the ending if you squint??

im just having fun here

Like I'm so deranged about how machines being intelligent and actually conscious is handled in Ultrakill. The build-up, even if accidental(?), is SO SO CLEVER and gradual (as gradual as ultrakill can get). How that fits into the overall narrative and how the tragedy of this game manages to be so awesome??

First with how I love the way "Machines are living beings" idea is handled. It starts from the introduction and establishes the world so well in so few words it's so lovely. You get introduced to the machines as war weapons. They need blood to survive and humanity has been eradicated. That's all you need to know.

You start with the basic information that these machines don't want to die. Which makes sense, it doesn't have to mean they are actually alive. It makes sense a machine would look for any way possible to keep itself running to continue doing it's job.

And then immediately in the prelude you meet the Swordsmachine. A part of a specific group of machines the terminal calls "scrapheads" which modify their own bodies. While at first that does not ring as anything that's especially noteworthy. A machine trying to upgrade itself is nothing unheard of. It's to be better, stronger, more efficient.

Except that's not exactly what the Swordmachine design is about according to the game. It is mentioned to have very impressive combat prowess compared to other machines, however what it is also referred to as is "beautiful". The design is appreciated almost like a piece of art. And some of it's parts don't even wield a practical purpose, the mentioned example being it's voice box.

It is not ONLY about utility. It is also about art!!

Alright. That's interesting. Let's give an even more outrageous example. Skipping Limbo for now, there is lust where we are introduced to Mindflayers. Which?? Are so wild??? And mysterious? We don't know what and when they were made for (ALTHOUGH I VERY MUCH HAVE HEADCANONS ABOUT IT) their bodies are described as completely seperate and useless to the machine. And yet it is stated they act very lovingly and take care of their bodies. So much so in fact that they SELF-DESTRUCT if it is harmed.

V2 in the first fight is a rival to you as any other machine, however once it's arm is stripped away from V1 the confrontation becomes PERSONAL. The second fight is not simply about the lack of resources anymore. It is to reclaim what was lost. Whether that be the arm or something else. Even the very terminal entry itself calls it revenge.

And of course. With Violence it is revealed that with all of this. Machines can also make other forms of art like poetry. Which is even more interesting is that the machine which did that was first EVER machine to use blood mind you. An extremely old design, yet it could make art to express it's feelings.

Machines are capable of modifying, changing, expressing and LOVING themselves. They make art and some are frequently seen attacking you in groups! Those are clearly intelligent beings. And I mean. Duh. everyone playing Ultrakill knows that. Obviously. Like. Yeah.

So then why isn't the fact that these walking weapons probably have souls more discussed? What makes a soul? Why would machines not have them? If they can do all that people can on an emotional level.

And what happens when these machines die? What exactly is stopping them from ending up hell? Obviously heaven is unobtainable. Their very reason for existence, is to cause pain and suffering. The means through which they need to keep themselves alive is to cause suffering. It makes sense they'd all become hells beloved children. Doing what is in their nature is an art form to it.

What's even more is that the game itself supports the idea that some are souls. Surely hell cannot create them since everything made by hell are demons, which are very easy to recognize by the stone exterior.(?? unless im wrong??)

And there is no feasible way for machines like the Guttermen and Earthmovers to be their actual living counterparts. On a basic level they LACK the means to be alive. The people inside the Guttermen need to be alive in order for them to function. When opening them in-game they are just skeletons. Nobody has been supplying them with blood for a long time. Because it's hell. The game itself states that death is a luxury in hell. It does not happen easy.

Earthmovers need sunlight to power them. And the game specifically put them in an area that is clouded. There is none to be seen in violence. No they are just trapped in place, forced to shoot each other for all of eternity.

Machines, when they die… go to hell! Probably!

Some of the machines you kill, perhaps reccuring enemies go to hell (Thank u l@/little-tornad0 for the addition hehe)

When you die.

You respawn! Hell keeps you going. Hell wants torture. Hell wants bloodshed. Hell wants entertainment and you are the purest form of it.

It makes me think a lot about the potential ending of the game. About the themes. I don't think this means inherently that hell is a perfect self-sustaining organism that can go on like this forever. Gabriel says machines are destroying it and leaving nothing behind. Things are clearly going south in some way. And it'd fit the themes better if it was all going to uh.. hell lol. If it was all going to collapse. From the main theme of the game literally being "The fire is gone" to the name of the last chapter literally being named "Godfist suicide"

Also for what it's worth the Mirage secret is awesome meta-commentary on the idea that everything will die. Everything is destined to end. It is up to you how your each that end.

I think this is what Ultrakill will kind of be about at the end maybe. Gabriel will die out with a bang doing what he wants.

V1 itself is clearly NOT killing efficiently to survive, but for fun. Before it all ends. It's going out with a bang.

And with no new humans or machines that can enter hell in the long run. Perhaps it's very being too will decide it wants to go out with a bang.

In short. uh machines have souls. everything will die but not in a sad way. but in a very cool awesome way. thats pr awesomesauce

[teyamsgrl]

how sorry i am ✧ lo'ak

❗️MDNI ❗️

OKOK lo'ak is ofc our sweet baby but the idea of enemies to lovers with lo'ak just 🦋🦋🦋 / i hope you all enjoy!! just look at his lil mean face above >:(

°˖➴ warnings: fem metkayina reader, enemies to lovers, agedup!lo'ak, mean!lo'ak, sub!lo'ak, blood mention (not sex related), slight angst, slow burn??, body worship, oral f receiving, some nipple play - paskalin: honey

lo'ak being your brother's best friend was quite the shit position. ever since lo'ak and his family joined the metkayina people a year ago he has despised you, very publicly as well. anytime he saw you, he teased you, talked down to you, etc. he made you feel shitty, but here's the catch: you had an undeniable crush on him. as much as you wanted to deny the fact, you just couldn't. it was something about how you saw him with other people, observing how he really is. how he took care of his little sister and was always willing to help others out. you knew he harassed you for a specific reason; what it was you had no idea. you still acted hostile towards him to keep your true feelings covered, plus it was unfair to let him treat you like this without retaliation.

"lo'ak's staying over" you brother says as he enters your pod late in the evening, lo'ak trailing behind him. you roll your eyes, "great..", you glance up quickly to take in lo'ak's appearance. pretty. "trust me, i'm not pleased about seeing you either" lo'ak scoffs and takes a seat on your brother's cot, taking his bow off of his back. you continue cutting the fruits scattered around you on the woven mat, tossing them into a bowl afterwards. you go to slice the next one in half, accidentally nicking one of your fingers. "ouch.." you mumble, looking down to see the pearl of blood on your finger. you wipe it on a nearby rag, catching lo'ak's eyes on you. "awwww, can't handle a little cut?" he teases, pouting at you. "shut up" you mumble again, moving back to continue cutting, making sure the blood didn't get anywhere else. "can't even cut fruit properly, damn" he smirks watching your eyes narrow in anger. sometimes you wish your brother did something to defend you, but he probably just accepted that you and lo'ak hated each other and it would always be that way. you ignore his comment, "always knew you were a bit incompetent but shit, that's bad" he chuckles mockingly, causing anger to bubble up inside of you. you may secretly like him but he is a dick. you throw down the large fruit in your hand and the knife, standing up and rushing out of your pod. you had it with him, and yourself. what kept drawing you to him? and why couldn't you turn it off? you turn and run past all the other marui, feet hitting the sand as you exhale. you approach the water, about to call your ilu before you hear a voice calling you, "y/n! wait!"

you scoff as you recognize the voice right away, "just leave me alone, lo'ak" you state firmly, back facing him as he comes closer. "y/n" he places a hand on your shoulder, urging you to face him. the ecstatic feeling that ran through your body was indescribable, he had never touched you before, even when passing by. you turn to come face to face with him, your eyes gazing up into his. "i'm sorry-" he mumbles, his amber eyes blank and searching yours. "sorry? you're sorry? after a year of harassing me you're suddenly sorry? i bet my brother made you do this..." you sigh and bring your hands to your head, tugging your braids gently out of frustration. "he didn't, i swear-" you cut him off again, feelings bursting out of your mouth without a second thought. "yeah sure, lo'ak, i doubt it. what made you feel so bad today? instead of yesterday or the day before? fuck- you have never felt bad about making fun of me before, and it's so stupid that i don't just avoid you because of my... because-" you stop yourself before you go too far off the edge and are unable to turn back. "because of what?" he inquires, you have never heard his voice so gentle towards you before. "because i like you, okay?! i like you too much for my own good and i hate the fact that i do!" you scream, tears forming in your eyes as you realize what you've just admitted. you take a deep breath in, unable to release it before lo'ak's lips are on yours, kissing feverishly. you gasp and pull away, trying to figure out if that actually just happened. "don't- don't do that just to mess with me, please" he shakes his head immediately, denying your accusation. "i'm not, i'm genuinely sorry about everything i've said to you. i don't know why i did it, probably projecting my own shit but- i like you too, so much. i just want to make it up to you, if you'd even let me.." you notice how his tail is moving, softly moving left and right as if in anticipation. you nod at his words, trying to comprehend his side of things. "i'm willing to forgive you. you'll most definitely have to prove it, but i'm willing to. and willing to become more eventually… if you'd want that", a small smile pulls itself onto your lips. "thank you..." he smiles back and reaches for your hips, "let me make it up to you, show you how sorry i am, please. how much i feel for you..."

you breathe shakily as he sinks to his knees, bending to start at your ankle and place delicate kisses up your leg. your run your hand along his cheek as he moves to repeat the actions on your other leg. "you're so beautiful, so beautiful..." he whispers and stands back up, kissing along your jaw now. you sigh in delight and tilt your head to allow him to continue. he smiles against your skin and moves down your neck and the middle of your chest. "can i take it off?" he questions as his hands run behind your back to the tie of your top. you nod and shiver as he removes it, the evening air grazing your nipples, breasts perky and freckles glowing. "shit.." he breathes and kisses his way to your nipple, flicking his tongue over it once to test the waters. the whimper that leaves your mouth says enough as he sucks it into his mouth. "l-lo'ak" you stutter out as his warm mouth has your nipple encapsulated, your thighs pressing together to relieve the arousal beginning to pool.

he releases it with a pop, kissing to the other. "i just wanna worship your fucking body.. never seen someone prettier" you whine at his words as he sucks the other nipple into his mouth, tongue rolling around it and toying with it. your hands weave their way into his hair, tugging on his braids as another whine escapes your lips. he hums and unlatches again, hands lingering over your loincloth. "wanna taste.. wanna make you feel good... please", he almost whimpers the sentence out, "yes, lo'ak, yes". he unties your loincloth and helps you step out of it, moving to his knees again. he licks his lips and looks over your wet pussy, his head leaning on your stomach. "tell me what you want, please princess, i just wanna please you..." he kisses your stomach and awaits a response from you, his ragged breaths tickling your stomach.

"mouth, mouth..." you look down on him as he places one of your feet on his shoulder, giving him the perfect angle to dive in. which he does. his tongue makes it's first move against your clit, eager bud pulsing under his tongue. you moan and toss your head back, your hips fervently pushing against his tongue. he moves further, tongue delving into your tight and dripping hole. "that's good, that's so good-" you gasp and keep yourself steady by your grip on his braids. he hums into you, the vibrations bringing you even more pleasure. his mouth never falters, licking and sucking and kissing all over your pussy. he shifts away to breathe quickly, "you taste so sweet, even better than i would've thought. so beautiful, i wanna be down here forever" he whines out and moves back in, nose nudging your clit as his tongue glides around and in your hole again. he takes note of your demeanor change, breathing more heavy and hip movements more aggressive.

"you're close, baby. fuck my face, use me. just feel good... i got you" he mumbles as he brings a couple fingers to stroke your clit at a fast pace, desperate to bring you to an orgasm. your eyes roll back as you hold his braids tighter, grinding onto his tongue and into his fingers. "oh great mother- i'm- lo'ak i'm gonna-" you squeal as he frantically rubs your clit, removing his mouth so he can coax you through it. "that's it, you're so perfect, i got you, so perfect... just let go" he moans softly as your orgasm snaps in you, cum flowing out of you as his tongue retreats back into your pussy to collect what he can. your chest is heaving as your legs wobble, mind out of sorts at the fact that lo'ak who 'hated' you just hours ago confessed to you and made you cum.

he helps your leg down, holding you close as he stands back up. "there we go..." he says as you instantly hug around his waist. "thank you, lo'ak" you look up to catch his eyes which are now glowing softly. "no need to thank me, it's the least i could do. you know, to apologize and prove myself to you, all that. i will be doing that very often, if you'll let me" he holds your face in his sizable hands, his thumbs brushing your cheeks. "well, that was amazing honestly.. and yes, i want to please you sometime as well..." your one finger trails down to his waistband and plays with it. "mhmmm, but you're my first priority always, and i'm gonna start acting like it. no more mean guy..." he sighs, clearly ashamed of how he's acted this past year. "it's alright, paskalin... let's spend the day together tomorrow? i want to show you a special place" you rest your head on his heart, hearing the rapid beats. "i'd really like that" he smiles and rests his chin on your head, basking in your loving presence.

[maxzinn]

off topic but also on topic its so clear that the genshin/star rail (saying both cause theres a large overlap) have no capability of thinking.

there are so many fics where *reader* somehow becomes a (sex)slave or is forced to do horrible shit and just general dead dove behavior. the fact that the author used INGAME LORE, CANON BACKSTORY FOR THE CHARACTER proves how braindead so many people are.

like people try to free slaves/captors in media isnt a new thing. theres a lot of art of that angelhusk ship where one gambles for the others freedom (never watched it but its an example)

like having slaves/captors in media isnt new and never has been but the only reason people truely care is because its a hoyoverse game and cant handle anything darker or complex then a PG rating

(sorry anon, I got carried away with this one tee-hee)

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THIS!!! y'know I was sooo confused when people started screaming for blood when the authors are using his IN-GAME LORE in their fics and then claims that the people who enjoyed writing those have "white-knight syndrome" like cmon sjsadhjg you're giving me a fucking stroke.

I'll say it again, wanting to give slave aventurine or someone a better life DOESN'T mean they have "white-knight syndrome" when they have good intentions!!! We were all were crying for him and his tragic past, we all wanted to comfort him, and we at some point also wished for his salvation and the betterment of his life. These people need to stop throwing these "white-knight syndrome" accusations cuz it's definitely not about that. And like you said, it was his IN-GAME LORE. I already expected some authors to write about reader saving him from his slavery and there's nothing wrong with that! Cuz please, don't tell me you won't help the guy out of his abusive owner, let's be fr here.

Like you also said, many have been writing yandere/heavy dark themes about reader being literally SA'd and R'd by said character (do not tell me you guys haven't read all those fics where Aven was our debt collector and in paying our debt, he noncon or manipulated us into sleeping with him 💀) and now they wanna talk about morals?

And please, don't even try bringing up Romania or irl people in here. IT'S A FICTIONAL RACE IN A FICTIONAL STORY. it may be "inspired" like they said, but it's not directly addressing Romania!!

I get their point alright, I truly do. Like I said in my other post, I do not condone the sex slave! aus about aventurine and the master/slave bdsm cuz his story truly hurt me and I'm uncomfortable sexualizing his slavery when I know about his story and what happened to him as a slave. But I won't go as far as to actually send death threats to those authors and act like a hypocrite💀 people can write what they want to write and I don't have to read those writings if I don't wanna.

Just to say, I'm a yandere/dark-content enjoyer as well, it's just that I draw the line when it comes to aventurine cuz I just wanna cuddle and dote on that man and give him all the love and affection in the world. but like I said, am no hypocrite as well. (sorry if I can't explain it very well but I hope you get the gist of it)

It's just funny and baffling how people are like "eww this person wrote a fic about reader buying slave aventurine so they can be a good owner to him".... this is leaving me speechless how they turned an act with good intentions into something malicious... that poor author doesn't even have bad intentions when writing that fic.

When you apply their logic, it's like saying "this person adopted an abused child so that they can be a good parent to that child, disgusting" do they even realize how stupid they sound??? 😭

[20001541]

sometimes, I look at Yoichi’s death panel and I feel like AFO looks more confused than just plain possessive, and usually whenever we see AFO (or anyone) use a quirk there’s some drawing or little things to show that, but in this scene we didn’t…

so maybe it wasn’t AFO’s fault? Maybe it was the transfer??

like All might did say to Izuku that his limbs would burst off if he gets one for all without a good or trained body, and I mean Yoichi’s pretty frail, and this is my theory lmao that I thought of last night while trying to sleep, probably someone else has thought of it but 🤷‍♀️

I've heard of this theory before from other people, but it's one I personally disagree with for several reasons.

yes while all might did tell izuku that his limbs would burst if he received ofa without training his body to be stronger, ofa happened to be very weak during the scene in the sewer. there weren't any other quirks stacked in it like when izuku received ofa, the two quirks that had been inside yoichi combined into one. so yoichi only had one quirk in him at that time so don't think there would've any strain on his body from that.

you also have to take into consideration that ofa during all mights time was extremely powerful and had all the quirks from the previous users inside it. I think if ofa had been too strenuous for yoichi to handle he would've died the moment afo gave him the other quirk that combined with the one he already had, not randomly explode two months later. I think if it had been too much for his body to handle he would've died similar to the way shinomori died, but he didn't live long enough to see if that would happen to him or not.

there is also this scene at the end of 407, where we get a glimpse of afo's own thoughts as he watches yoichi run away from him in the sewers.

this shows that afo was already extremely upset watching yoichi run away with men who hate him. also just look how afo focused on yoichi holding kudou's hand right before we see that same hand be severed from yoichi's body with blood surrounding it. and the next chapter we see how it wasn't only his hand that was severed but that his entire body fell apart. so yeah I don't think it's a coincidence that yoichi fell apart right after afo was staring at their hands and says "enough of this". he probably reached out his hand to stop them only to accidently use a quirk in his distressed state of mind.

the biggest reason why I don't like this theory though has to be from more a narrative stand point. to me I think it is extremely ironic that the one person afo cares and loves the most is someone he accidently killed because he got upset that he didn't want anything to do with him anymore. his whole life he has maintained this grip on yoichi and he assumed that yoichi always be there for him, yet the moment yoichi found the opportunity to escape he took it.

just imagine how big of a slap to the face it felt to afo, who presumably had been hunting yoichi nonstop after he escaped, to see that not only is his brother running from him but that he refuses to look back at him. and there's something tragic in how he spends the next century chasing after one of the only pieces of his brother he has left and blames everyone but himself for the reason why yoichi isn't with him anymore. we know the vault is what ultimately pushed yoichi away from him, but if you add on that afo is the reason why yoichi is dead in the first place it just makes it 10 times worse.

if you turn this into a "yoichi only died because ofa was too much for his body" it erases all of that and takes the blame off of afo for yoichi's death. while he did give him the extra quirk, you can't find afo fully at fault if you claim the quirk killed yoichi because how was afo supposed to know that would happen? he even said he tried to get a weak quirk so his brothers body would handle it well so he took precautions.

I think it works better if afo's own inability to see yoichi as person with his own free will and not an object he owns is what ultimately killed yoichi. because that's how this whole conflict started right? afo wanted yoichi to conform to his will alone, he didn't care about how yoichi felt about the matter nor about his free will. he was only concerned with getting him to follow him and be by his side no matter what.

that's my thoughts on the matter though, thanks for sending the ask I've been wanting to talk about this particular subject for a while now

[youremyheaven]

how do u attract love? in terms of romantic and genuine love?

I think we attract who we are. I try my best to be as loving as I can be, I probably give too much of myself to too many people (it's one reason why I answer long asks and type out long answers that take me quite a bit of time) but I enjoy it, it's my nature.

I love to love and I enjoy being kind. Enjoy probably sounds like a weird word to use in this context but I genuinely give to people out of the goodness of my heart and regardless of what I may or may not get from them. A lot of people don't give to others bc "what if they misuse it....." that's none of my business 💛 I trust the universe and believe that I am the conduit through which they have to get certain messages or things. What they do with it, is up to them. The flower's job is to share it's sweet nectar with the world, it's futile to worry about the intentions of the bees 😌. Their intentions will dictate their life and mine will dictate mine. Sorry for yapping too much but yeah, I'm a lover girl 🥰😭 I'll do anything for people I love and I have love for everyone. If I met you today and you needed me to donate blood to you, I'd do it without a second thought. This isn't always a smart idea but I believe that God has always protected me from people and situations that could exploit my loving nature.

In return, I feel like I'm loved beyond measure and surrounded and filled with so much warmth and generosity. Even here on Tumblr, you guys are so beyond sweet and treat me like I'm your friend or sister 🥺🥺🥺

you can't be cruel, selfish, stingy and calculative and expect others to be open, loving, tender and warm. for me, in my life, at least, I think I draw in people who are vibrationally similar to me and I distance myself from those who are not. I'm not a doormat.

There's no key on attracting love. You just have to love and be willing to see what happens. My drug abusing ex who is/was suicidal and caused me much grief? I have love for him too and I hope he's well. I have love for my family despite all the hurt there is. I have love for my former friends, despite the wounds there are.

I don't expect anything from any of them and therefore it's not disappointing when they behave in certain ways. That's a reflection of who they are. I will stand my ground and leave though because I will choose my peace over anything else. Being loving does not mean everybody will be lovely to you. Some people are absolutely horrible and stuck in their old ways. Their biggest punishment is being them. But if you are loving and kind, you will at some point find people who are also gentle, loving and warm.

Even when I was younger and not exceptionally kind (unhealed trauma made me act out) I had people in my life who treated me with utmost kindness and compassion and it made me want to be that person for others 💛💛 to this day I think about some of those people even though we're no longer in touch and I wish them well. How we make others feel is very important. You can be angry, sad, irritated, tired etc etc but how you speak and behave in those moments reflects the core of your being. Being with my pookie, and seeing him go through so many different experiences and yet always speaking to me sweetly makes me realise how precious that is. You can't turn into an asshole when you're angry, not if you love the other person. Everything can be handled with grace ✨

Anyways, that's a long winded answer and I'm not sure if I answered it at all. Being authentic and being sincere is the key and you'll find your people that way 💛💛💛 (and weed out the ones who aren't for u)

[dancersmirrorball]

Taylor Swift Midnights Sentence Starters

Tracks 1-4

"You don't really read into my melancholia."

"I've been under scrutiny, you handle it beautifully."

"I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say."

"They're bringing up my history, but you weren't even listening."

"Talk your talk and go viral, I just need this love spiral."

"Get it off your chest, get it off my desk."

"We lost track of time again."

"How'd we end up on the floor anyway?"

"I see you every day now."

"The lips I used to call home, so scarlet it was maroon."

"Ain't that the way, shit always ends?"

"I wake with your memory over me, that's a real fucking legacy to leave."

"All of the people, I've ghosted stand there in the room."

"I end up in crisis, tale as old as time."

"I wake up screaming from dreaming."

"I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror."

"One day I'll watch as you're leaving, and life will lose all of it's meaning."

"She's/he's/they're laughing up at us from hell."

"I saw flecks of what could've been lights, but it might just have been you passing by unbeknownst to me."

"Life is emotionally abusive."

"My flight was awful, thanks for asking."

"You wanting me tonight feels impossible."

"It's fine to fake it 'til you make it."

"I can't speak, afraid to jinx it."

Tracks 5-8"

"I play it cool with the best of them."

"It's ok we're the best of friends."

"You're on your own kid, you always have been."

"I gave my blood, sweat and tears for this."

"Everything you lose is a step you take."

"You've got no reason to be afraid."

"My town was a wasteland."

"But for some it was paradise."

"he/she/they wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain."

"I was making my own name, chasing that fame."

"All of me changed like midnight rain."

"I guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted."

"Big city, wrong choices."

"You painted all my nights, a color I have searched for since."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room?"

"It was one drink, after another."

"That's nice I'm sure, that's what's suitable and right but tonight."

"Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man."

"You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them."

"They say looks can kill, and I might try."

"Lately I've been dressing for revenge."

"Picture me thick as thieves with your ex wife/husband/spouse."

"I'm on my vigilante shit again.

Tracks 9-12

"Didn't notice you walking all over my peace of mind, in the shoes I gave you as a present."

"Putting someone first only works, when you're in their top five."

"By the way, I'm going out tonight."

"I can still make the whole place shimmer."

"Sadness became my whole sky."

"A diamond's gotta shine."

"It only hurts this much right now."

"Breathe in, breathe deep, breathe through, breathe out."

"I'll be getting over you, my whole life."

"Oh no, I'm falling in love again."

"Lost in the labyrinth of my mind."

"You would break your back to make me break a smile."

"You're talking shit, for the hell of it."

"You're terrified to look down."

"It's coming back around."

"I keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn't know what I mean."

"Ask me what I've learned from all those years, ask me what I've earned from all those tears."

"Ask me why so many fade, but I'm still here."

"We almost forgot it."

"They said the end is coming, everyone's up to something."

"All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing."

"On the way home, I wrote a poem."

"You should be doing more."

"I'm just too soft for all of it."

Tracks 13-17

"You and I ended up in the same room, at the same time."

"Checkmate, I couldn't lose."

"What if I told you none of it was accidental?"

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

"No-one wanted to play with me as a little kid, so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since."

"This is the first time I've felt the need to confess."

"Spineless in my tomb of silence."

"Maybe it was egos swinging, maybe it was her/him/them."

"I vowed not to cry anymore."

"You said I have to trust more freely."

"Maybe it's the past that's talking, screaming from the crypt."

"It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed."

"No words appear before me in the aftermath."

"Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness."

"Cause it's all over now, all out to sea."

"You were bigger than the whole sky."

"I've got a lot to live without."

"So I'll say words I don't believe."

"And all the outfits were terrible, 2003 unbearable."

"Did you see the photos?"

"No I didn't, but thanks though."

"I'm so in love that I might stop breathing."

"Like we were somewhere else."

"I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever."

"I didn't know you were keeping count."

"Put on your records and regret me."

"I bent the truth too far tonight."

"Do you really wanna know where I was April 29th?"

"Seemed like the right thing at the time."

"There's many different ways that you could kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough."

Tracks 18-20 + Hits Different & You're Losing Me

"We were supposed to be just friends."

"You don't live in my part of town, but maybe I'll see you out some weekend."

"I think there's been a glitch."

"Nights are so starry, blood moonlit."

"Must be counterfeit."

"I thought we had no chance, and that's romance."

"All I used to do was pray."

"And I damn sure never would have danced with the devil."

"The god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven."

"Memories feel like weapons."

"God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be."

"If clarity's in death then why won't this die?"

"If it feels like a trap, you're already in one."

"If you don't recognize yourself, that means you did it right."

"Never take advice from someone who's falling apart."

"When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss."

"So I wander through these nights, I prefer hiding in plain sight."

"You should find another guiding light."

"You made a mess of me."

Each bar plays our song, nothing has ever felt so wrong."

"Oh my, love is a lie; shit my friends say to get me by."

"Moving on was always easy for me to do."

"My sadness is contagious."

"Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away?"

"We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won't."

"Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time."

"I'm getting tired even for a phoenix."

"I know my pain is such an imposition."

"I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her/him/them."

"I've got nothing to believe, unless you're choosing me."

[nocturnenebula]

Currently unable to draw for a few weeks so I was only able to work on a rough draft of the main building to J'kharni's mercenary guild, Ketri-Katatajna or the "Playful Bite" Guild. The Playful Bite Guild is a mercenary guild situated out in Falkreath where Lakeview Manor would be in the game.

These aren't the final floor plans since I'm still on the fence about whether J'kharni (who is a vampire lord) would put his and his bodyguards' coffins in the main building or put it elsewhere, and I also need to tweak his living space a little (can't decide if there should be a fourth floor, or if the third floor should be extended out over the second floor).

You can read more about Ketri-Katatajna under the cut!

It is not an officially recognized organization since they're, uh, mercenaries, so they are looked down upon by both the Imperial and Stormcloak army. The only holding power who favors the guild is Siddgeir, the Jarl of Falkreath, but J'kharni is currently working on changing that. He plans on earning favor from influentials with ties to the other Jarls so that he can open up chapters in each hold. Some common folk look upon them favorably since the guards' numbers have been stretched thin, leaving the lesser vulnerable, and a professional, reliable establishment is more promising than a lone sellsword; others, however, heed the rumors of illicit activity going on within the guild, and that those who do business with the guild end up owing favors. There are also rumors of vampires working for the guild, but there has yet to be any clear evidence of this…

J'kharni is known as the Guildmaster, and his bodyguards are the Guardians of the guild. A Steward handles recruiting, and there is an accountant who works with them that is an Alfiq who draws a lot of attention to those who've never seen Khajiit beyond the Cathay. There is a Trainer for the training range and a stable hand takes care of the horses members can rent from the guild. Members who live inside the guild are required to tend to the place rather than rely on servants; this means cooking, cleaning, and feeding the livestock. It's… accidentally cultish even if J'kharni means well (he says it's supposed to build character). J'kharni and his bodyguards do participate in the domestic chores within the guild even with all of their responsibilities, so you won't see him sitting in his office all of the time.

Everyone is on equal ground in the guild, but you can earn favor and better pay from merit, building relationships with other members and helping the community of Falkreath. J'kharni will hire anyone able and willing to work for him even if you are an addict or have a criminal record— and, truthfully, even if you're a vampire or some other maladjusted creature, more on that later— however, he emphasizes loyalty, efficiency, and civility matter most, and are what will earn you better pay. He will help get you cleaned up one way or another if you require such help, and he is reasonable, so he will make exceptions if things ended up out of your control. Tthose who bring a bad reputation to the guild must redeem themselves one way or another or else forfeit their membership without pay. Earn J'kharni's trust and he may see something in you that will invite you into the deep underbelly of the guild, one where vampires, werewolves, and Daedra worshippers thrive.

You are offered dirtier, shadier jobs, ranging from gambling to smuggling to working with factions such as the Dark Brotherhood, all of which are high risk, yet high reward. The risks involved aren't just from the job alone— you will be bound to remain loyal to J'kharni, or else you or your loved ones may… disappear. You signed your contract in blood, after all. You will be able to participate in the gambler's hall, have access to the fence, and you can join the smuggling route that branches out throughout all of Tamriel. Vampires and those worthy enough get to learn the bloodthirsty secret of the guildmaster and his bodyguards. If you're a vampire who wishes to co-exist with mortal society, you will be taken under their wing, being provided blood potions and training to temper your nature; those who intend to do harm to society will be quickly eliminated.

[planstransamanacanalpanema]

In my lifetime, I've been on a decent number of insulin pumps, starting with Animas, the Medtronic, then Tandem before switching to a new insurance company that didn't cover Tandem supplies. I saw the Omnipod offered a 30 day trial and figured, what the heck, and having lived with multiple systems with a lot of unique quirks, I thought I'd share the quirks of this system too.

Having been a tubed pump only person for the first 14 years of my diabetic life, I was a little hesitant with the Ombipod, and initially, I was blown away. The cannula insertion was easy, the cannula was about as comfortable as you'd expect any cannula to be, and despite being a fairly large piece of tech taped directly to your skin, I didn't feel like it got in the way. I did enjoy not having to worry about tubing getting stuck in things, or finding a pocket to shove the pump into or a waistband to clip it to. For anyone who struggles with these aspects of the pump life, this pump may do pretty awesome things for you.

However, these were really the only positive sentiments i had towards the system, probably because I'd lived so long with tubed systems, they never bothered me like they do some people. Those annoying little quirks though really turned me off to it.

For starters, you cannot control the pod without a phone or the Personal Diabetes Manager (PDM) they send you. If you forget the pdm, or if you wish to escape from your phone for a bit, you will have no control over your blood sugar. I realized this once after going to work and realizing I'd left the pdm at home. I had my phone though, and hoped I could switch control from the pdm to my phone, in the same way that with the dexcom you can get readings and manage the system, but no such luck. Once you start the pod on one device, you are stuck with that one device for the 2 to 3 days you have the pod inserted.

The pods themselves cause a number of problems as well. There is no way to recycle them, as they are medical waste, meaning every 2 to 3 days, you have to trash a small computer. That might not be a big deal to you, and absolutely no shame if it isn't, but for me it felt incredibly wasteful. The comfort I'd experience in my first days didn't let long either. If you've ever dropped a tubed insulin pump and had your infusion site catch it, you'll know these jarring movements can be pretty painful. The pod isn't quite that bad at first, but after a few days with a wrench directly attached to your site, I did find myself hurting pretty badly. Also, if your pod fails for any reason, it will s c r e a m. It'll produce an extremely loud, high pitched, and continuous beep until you can get onto your phone or pdm and deactivate it, and for the life of me, no matter how quickly you can get that to turn off, it still takes too long. Your results will also vary, particularly if you feel less strongly about the cleanliness of your insulin, but once the pod expires, which is a maximum of 3 days plus 8 hours where it beeps hourly, there is no good way to salvage that insulin. Yes, you can draw the insulin back up from the port you put it in, but once that's in your new pod, if it starts to seem infected, you'll lose that insulin and the pod when you remove it.

Compared to the tandem, I did actually really enjoy the site tracking feature. When you insert a new pod, it gives you the option to track where you've placed it in a limited number of spaces, including the back abdomen (typically known as your back, but ok), and directly on your ass cheek. If you can handle the omnipod, or really any infusion site in your ass cheek, you are far, far braver than me. On the other hand, I desperately missed the calculator feature on the tandem that allowed you to add up the cards you were eating.

As for the app, it does its job, but still has these quirks that drove me a bit nuts. You can't turn off the security feature. Whether you use your phone or the pdm, you'll always have to enter a pin to be able to do anything. This could definitely be a problem if you have neuropathy or other dexterity issues, and even as someone without these issues, I still got pretty annoyed with it. This also presents a problem when you're trying to get the screaming to stop. I didn't love that in my furious effort to get this overwhelming noise to stop, I was impeded by a fucking pin. It also made the lack of calculator kind of annoying, because if you needed to use your calculator to total your carb count, you had to exit out of the app, do your calculations, and then throw in your pin all while not forgetting the number you just came up with.

I also struggled a bit with picking sites with this pump. My abdomen is relatively unusable as a pump site after nearly 2 decades of pump therapy, so I usually use it for a cgm site and then will place my infusion site elsewhere. However, because the omnipod doesn't have an intermediary between it and the cgm, it has to stay "within line of site" of the cgm. So, if the pod is on the back of your arm, your cgm can be on your flank, or on your leg, but not on your abdomen because they're on opposite sides of your body, and even though I got it to work on the opposite arm, even that isn't recommended. So, wherever your cgm is for 10 days, all your sites have to revolve around that one spot through multiple changes. The small upside though is that, even though you can't bolus without a pdm or phone, the pod can still read your cgm and increase or decrease your basal rate based on your blood sugar. However, these treatments for high blood sugar in particular are painfully slow because as compared to other systems, the omnipod can change your basal rates but it can't offer you even small boluses, unlike tandem or medtronic.

That said, everyone with diabetes is different, and I know this system has been a godsend for a lot of people, just not me. While I can't say I'd recommend it broadly, I've definitely met some people who I think would have loved this system. Regardless, I hope this helps, and may the A1C or Time in Range, depending on which one your doctor still uses, smile upon you.

[dream-meister-translations]

GRANDFLAIR - VOICE COLLECTION

━

"Have a good day today, okay? I mean as our new guild keeper, of course."

"It's been a long time since you first joined the Moon Wanderers. I guess I kinda take you for granted these days…"

" Where to next?"

"Just don't do anything crazy."

"We don't have enough food in the pantry… Hopefully we can find a place to stock up."

"Run all you want. Just don't fall down."

"It was worth a shot. We'll win next time for sure."

"As a living painter… I'm just trying to do the best I can."

"Hm? Like a mother you say? Haha, well… I guess you're right. I'm the guardian of this team."

"Taking care of these guys is a pain in the ass. If you need any help at all, just ask."

"I think we're gonna work well together. I'm sure we'll see some good results."

"I will be your shield."

"Don't let your guard down."

"How's it going?"

"We won't go down that easily!"

"I can handle this…"

"There's only one way this ends!"

"Here's my drawing, freshly bloomed! It'll never wither."

"Good call."

"I let my guard down…"

" A triump of teamwork!"

"Dammit… I won't let it end this way…"

"Quite a haul, huh?"

"You've got to keep honing your skills."

"To save someone's life…"

"I welcome you as the newest member of my Moon Wandering family. I look forward to working with you in the future."

"I trust you're getting used to life with the Moon Wanderers? I'll be relying on you more from now on."

"I don't know how to say this, but… Even since you came here, I've felt the bond between us growing stronger by the day.”

"I can't help but feel happier knowing my life's work brings you joy."

"To be a living painter is one thing, but to keep someone alive and on the right path… I can't help but think that my dream will come true, so long as you're by my side."

"Just a glance is all it takes to bring someone's heart back to life. I want to paint a picture like that one day."

"Since you came into my home, I've seen more smiles on people's faces than ever before. Myself included, of course."

"I don't want to hurt people anymore. As a living painter, my goal is to heal people and one day… One day, bring someone back to life."

"Layers of shading, creating new colors… Encounters between people and painting seem similar."

"What's up? Are you finished already?"

"The feelings I entrusted to this painting are beginning to open and bloom. Are you watching?"

"Crow, Itsuki, Noah, Rouge, and… Emma… I will protect all of you!"

"I will not forget the time I spent as a mercenary. At the same time, the sins I've committed will never disappear."

"My reason to fight? In the past it was for honor and admiration. Now… it's to protect what matters."

"I will protect you."

"I carry my thoughts in my brush. As for this shield? It's no joke. I will protect you all."

"Now where to go? We've got some time to kill, so let's stretch our wings."

"This is a nice change of pace. Do you feel relaxed, too? Let's work hard again tomorrow."

"A living painting… Is the magical embodiment of someone's drawing."

"Live painting is a very deep world to explore. No matter how far you go, there is no end. That's why it's so interesting."

"You're interested in my live painting? Well, as an artist, I'm honored."

"I was wondering… What do you think of my living painting? I'd appreciate an honest opinion."

"…'You like it'…? It's not beautiful or nice, you just… Like it? Hmm… No one's ever praised me so highly."

"Thank you, Emma. I will keep trying. I hope to get your opinion moving forward."

"Hm? Oh, do I have paint on me? My apologies."

"Yellow cheeks? Oh, it must be a splash of the paint I was using while drawing."

"Whoa! Oh, you startled me… Touching my neck all of a sudden. It's not blood. I'm sorry I worried you."

"Mm? Sorry… Did you get it? Thank you."

"I'm usually the one who cares about how everyone else looks, so I get nervous when someone takes care of me."

"Oh, it's not a bad feeling. You've got a lot of people to take care of, though."

"It's no surprise… Our hands are so different in size. I'll have to handicap myself next time."

"Okay, here we go! Hm? Oh, you're getting better! That's what I'm talking about, Emma…"

"You want to thumb wrestle? Sure. Think you can beat me?"

"One more time? Ha! I'll take you on as much as you want!"

"The more you try… The more I see you improving… Damn!"

"Haha, I got a little carried away there. But it's nice having fun like this every once in a while, huh?"

"Ah~… I've been painting so long my shoulders are killing me. I'm glad you agreed to take a walk with me."

"I got some good inspiration! Stay tuned for my next painting! …Maybe I set expectations too high…"

"Hm? What's wrong with my arms? I know they're big."

"How strong am I? Hmm… I could lift you with one hand. Want to see?"

"Ha, you're so touchy-feely. I hope you like it. Makes it worth all the work I put in."

"But, uhh… I'm sure it's probably okay, but… Don't touch guys this closely, okay?"

"I'm worried. If you do that to me, I might not be able to handle it."

"Being alone with you isn't a bad thing. I don't have anyone else to worry about."

"To tell you the truth… I always wanna be alone with you. To have you all to myself… Embarrassing as that is to say…"

"Yeah, let's walk hand in hand. Y'know, it kinda comes naturally whenever I’m with you."

"What's the matter? Is there something on my face?"

"You don't have to be so careful. The pain is long gone. That's it…"

"Your hands are so gentle, it's soothing when you touch my scars…"

"It's… A strange feeling… Warm… Like a fire's been lit…"

"It… Seems to ease the pain in my heart… I just wish it could stay that way a little while longer…"

"Every now and then I get to thinking… How differently my life could have gone, if only I'd met you sooner…"

"You went to all this trouble for my birthday? Your feelings and this gift will hold me over 'til another year."

"Thank you, but… I can't possibly accept any more today. Another time, perhaps."

"This is…! A beautiful work of art… Thank you, I'll take good care of it."

"Hmm? You're giving this to me? I should do something to thank you."

"Hmm? You're… Giving me this? Uh, well… Thank you…"

"I'm glad you're having fun, but… That's enough for today."

"I have a little something for you. It's a present. I want you to have it."

"…Th-Thank you! It's just the way I like it. I'm so proud of you."

"This means… 'Overcome your weaknesses?' Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"I'm sorry to see you go, too… But we'll meet again soon, right? I hope…"

━

CROW : Gran~? You gotta move faster than that! They only sell a hundred cheesecakes a day! We gotta get there before they sell out! GRANDFLAIR : Oh my… Oh no… It's time like this I realize you're still just a boy, Crow…

━

CROW : You watch the front, okay? GRANDFLAIR : Yeah, I'll take care of it.

━

CROW : I knew I could count on you! GRANDFLAIR : I'm on edge whenever you're around.

━

ROUGE : Gran, I have a hangover… GRANDFLAIR : I'm begging you to please take this mission seriously for once.

━

ROUGE : Hah…Ah…I'm finally sobering up… GRANDFLAIR : If you keep dawdling I'll leave you here, you drunkard.

━

ROUGE : Gran~! I'm begging you man! Please lend me the money~! If you don't, I'll starve to death! GRANDFLAIR : You're always broke, Rouge. I'm not lending you any more money.

━

GRANDFLAIR : The Moon Wanderers are a reckless bunch. Having someone like you around helps calm me, Himmel. HIMMEL : Is that so…What a strange way of looking at things…

━

GRANDFLAIR : Himmel, can you do it? HIMMEL : I wouldn't get your hopes up…

━

GRANDFLAIR : Let's get to work! HIMMEL : This scent is… Strong…

━

GRANDFLAIR : Thank you for your help, Himmel. HIMMEL : You fight them to no end…

━

HIMMEL : Just when you think you've got your foot in the door… GRANDFLAIR : It's not a waste of time, Himmel…

[ihateartificer]

Long ago, when I saw the Artificer's teaser, my first thought was "damn, this one-eyed guy is definitely will be shipped with a sick poor boi". How right I was at that moment! 80% of Artie's fanbase always pairs them with the hunter and I still can't understand why so many people like it. These characters are completely different: they have different stories, they have different motives. Only the body color is similar, but for many this is enough. Moreover, such people constantly see / draw these two completely different from themselves. "Sweet moms raising two kids", WTF?

The first one is literally a crazy maniac who thirsts for blood, and the second one is practically rotting alive and every agonizing day can be his last. How can something cute come out of this? What kind of warm relationships can we talk about if because of Artificer, the scavengers hate Hunter so much, since these two have red skin? Artificer is basically ruined Hunter's last cycles without even meeting him

I understand that everyone has their own taste. But there is too much of this kind of content, and the only explanation why many people like it so much is "I like lesbian cats^^". And no one cares that the original meanings of the characters are lost. Maybe I wouldn't have raised this issue, but I am really tired of how some people react rudely when someone doesn't like this couple. And I still haven't seen a normal explanation why Artie and Hunter can be together

They're red combat-focused slugcats, that's it. Nevermind the fact The Hunter only fights for survival and Artificer does it out of cruelty.

The vanilla slugcats are purposefully given little personality but it means a lot that The Hunter does save Moon when it could've easily ditched the mission and beelined to the Void Sea. There's no indication of a reason why it would risk so much for this, it must've been a form of selflessness. It's reasonable that Hunter would disapprove of the scavenger slaughter and that Artificer would cut down anyone it so much as suspects of siding with the enemy.

Hunter could do much better than Artificer. Any slugcat could.

It doesn't help that it's usually handled in an uninteresting manner. Oh they make out and suddenly Artificer is fixed and forgiven by everyone and they happily live together with their new or old children like nothing ever happened with no shits given for the many many victims of a senseless extermination yawnnn

People have a right to like Artihunter but I have a right to NOT like it, in fact its one of my least favorite ships sorry not sorry.

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"YOU CAN TELL ME, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?"

(A short story about Logan detecting a strong smell of blood coming from the female reader, sorry, I'm on my period and with the pain and fatigue, my mind can't handle much more, I hope you like it)

Logan knew she was bleeding. He couldn't see any external wounds, so he decided to ignore it, until he found her alone at night in front of the television in one of the small rooms of the X-Mansion. He approached silently and leaned against the door jamb, his hands crossed over his chest.

"Hey," he murmured, drawing her attention, and Katia's amber eyes focused on him.

Despite having seen them on a couple of occasions already, Logan would never stop being fascinated by them. The yellow of her eyes was so intense that sometimes it even hurt to look at her. Her color was a product of her mutation: she was a jaguar. By this we mean that she could transform into one.

Maybe that was why Logan felt a deep connection with her from the moment he arrived at the mansion. They were both animals after all, they both had claws and heightened senses, but only she could transform into one entirely.

She watched him for a few moments before taking the remote to press the button that muted the volume.

-I knew you were there - she said - I heard you approaching

-I should have guessed - he answered without taking his gaze off her-

-Yes you should have - he admitted with an amused smile - but I'll let you go, just this once - she looked at him carefully - What's wrong? Is everything okay?

-Fabulous - he confirmed - I just wanted to make sure you were okay

She frowned not understanding what he meant by that

-I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? - she questioned looking at him strangely-

-It's just that you've been smelling like blood for over a week - she said - and I know for a fact that no one has hurt you so is there something you're not telling me? - she questioned looking at him affectionately - you can tell me, you know that, right?

-Yes - she murmured, noticing the blush appearing on her cheeks - like you said, no one has attacked or hurt me - he explained - the reason you smell blood is because I'm… - she swallowed hard, it wasn't easy for her to talk about those things with anyone, much less with the man she was in love with, although he didn't seem to notice her feelings. He raised an eyebrow, waiting patiently for her to finish speaking - because I'm on my period

He remained silent for a few seconds before speaking

-It makes sense - he murmured more to himself than to her - and are you okay? - he asked - I know it hurts a lot sometimes and all that, so I… - she murmured almost in a shy way? He never thought Logan and shy would go through the same sentence, but there they were- tell me if I can help you in any way

-Sure, I'll keep that in mind - he answered, smiling in gratitude- although it doesn't hurt me like the others - she began- sometimes they're just cramps, but other times I have to stay in bed all day in the fetal position, like I'm protecting my puppies - she smiled- I guess it's one of the things I do for being half jaguar and all - she laughed- sometimes it's hard to remember that I'm not in my animal form, but that I'm a person of flesh and blood. Sometimes I move my hand like a paw when I need to cut something, like I have my claws out - she murmured - then I remember that being a human I have to use scissors

-I could help you with the claws issue - he smiled making her laugh-

-Thanks Logan - she murmured moved - it's good to have someone who understands your situation and knows how to listen

-You're lucky that I meet both conditions - he smiled - you should go get some sleep, maybe in the morning you'll feel better

-I'll do that - she nodded - until tomorrow

-Goodbye, baby - she murmured before walking away the way he came-

[rphelperblog]

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

inspired by @thecourtofthedamned​ - feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

A threat to one of us is a threat to us both." 

"Here we go again."

We don’t need a reason to torment mortal boys.” 

"Let's go to Hell and get my boyfriend back."

"Claim the throne." 

Penny dreadful for your thoughts, cousin?”

"If you want the crown, you're going to have to prove yourself worthy of it." 

You wouldn’t hurt a fly. That’s why I love you.”

There’s nothing we can’t handle. As long as we’re being honest with each other.”

Had to fight off a giant squid for it, but anything for you.”

I just… I wanna forget, whoever or whatever that was… and just be here… with you right now. Is that okay?”

Because I love you, and I trust you to do the right thing, and to tell me the truth. In fact, I trust you more than I do anyone else right now.

I love you. I’ll always love you.

There’s no flying in my life without you,”

Of course not. Take us to the children.”

I never really thought of you as a cat person, but… okay.”

He hasn’t defiled you, has he?” 

You’re suggesting a witch hunt? “

My grimoire is your grimoire.”

If you say another thing about my mother or father to anyone ever again… I’ll choke you to death on your own blood.” 

You can’t keep killing me. “

Aunties! We have a big problem! “

Oh. I was right. That is a blood curse. Oh, it’s lingering. So, untreated, that is gonna eat slowly away at your health, your will, and your sanity.”

Well, um, who doesn’t enjoy a good scare every now and again?”

"I can choose to be afraid of my powers, or I can use them." 

"Hell's under new management now."

You’re a rebel. That’s how I like my witches.”

"Embrace your destiny." 

Alright then. Get me a bit of her hair and I’ll make all her teeth fall out.

"This is uncharted territory." 

"It can't be all Hell all the time."

"Being queen of Hell isn't a summer job." 

"Resurrection of witches."

The power to warp reality itself." 

"That's my girl." 

"In the town of Greendale, where it always feels like Halloween..."

"Honestly, first purgatory, now Hell. What's next? Heaven?"

"I feel I must warn you, this is who I am." 

A witch’s dark baptism is our most sacred unholy sacrament.”

Who’s talking about witches? Give me their names and I’ll make sure they stop talking about anything. Permanently. It’s just terrible when teenagers slip into comas, isn’t it?”

Satan in hell, what am I wearing?”

So he tricked my father and used my mother? And now he expects me to fall in line? Well, I say not today, Satan.”

Ghastly water. Basically water you get from wiping down corpses.”

Mephistopheles save us from the melodramatics of a teenage witch.”

If you could get past security by yourself, and that’s a big if, you’d never be able to find your way around. It’s like a maze down there.”

A map? To what? This isn’t The Goonies.” 

Could you draw me a map? “

to be clear, I have a boyfriend.”

Word travels fast amongst the damned, it seems.”

All contact sports. Then, it’s the movies and Chinese food.”

We’re talking about murder here!”

Ritual sacrifice. It’s slightly different.”

Great! So I’m supposed to spoil the girl who harrowed me.

Preferably with figs and wild berries to sweeten her meat before the feast.”

Oh, come on, cuz. It is a little funny – Prudence getting her just desserts by literally becoming the dessert.

Boys. Lots and lots of mortal boys. To torment. And seduce. Or both. “

Maybe you’ll find the meaning of life at the highschool.”

Oh, you had me at boys to torment.”

sleep like the dead.”

I like the ghosts in it.”

Well, Christmas is the best time for ghost stories.”

Seriously, what is it with witches and cannibalism?”

Everything. I mean, we’re not even officially boyfriend and girlfriend, and yet tomorrow, we have to take part in some crazy bacchanal.”

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m terrified.”

Yeah, right. I caught you in the attic with my cousin having an orgy.”

I’d like to lodge a formal complaint”

He sent me to help you get ready for the ball, like a satanic fairy godmother, I suppose.”

Call me daddy.”

How’d your reformation go over?

You know, shockingly, the kings of hell didn’t embrace my ideas with the gusto I was hoping for.

Ooh, blimey, what would I wear? “

I’m a hobgoblin.”

That is not how public school works.”

You knew? You knew the entire time and you didn’t say a word?”

Earlier, I was an ass. I freaked out, which is okay, but I should have said, “I love you, and I’m here for you, all of you, witch, Sentinel, co-president.”

Let’s say… I wanna be at your side, on the right side of history.” 

 Puritanical masculinity? And principal Hawthorne is the most intolerant, the most buffoonish, the most misogynist of all.”

But I want both. I want freedom and power. “

He’s a man, isn’t he?”

No one should get to decide what we can and can’t read.

[enchantedblackrose]

Safe Again

Not my image. Google image search

Pairing: Antonio/Fem Reader

Requested @fabyoliveira1999

Summary: Y/n is kidnapped when an undercover assignment goes wrong

¡Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood, allusions of sexual assault, potential police brutality? All very in line with the show

A/n 1: this is a work of fiction. The gang and names used are completely made up and not meant to reflect any real persons. Thank you.

2: Part 2 will be a fluff drabble

Safe Again

A darkness overcomes you as you slip out of consciousness. The steady beeping of the machines around you are now frantic, their shrill sound piercing the ears of everyone around. 

Antonio yells out your name as hospital staff force him from your room. It isn't until Hank and Kevin pull him by his shoulders does he fully retreat. He sees a familiar face in the hallway and remembers a conversation he's been meaning to have.

"Halstead!" Antonio's voice shakes in anger. He stands face to face with the younger detective. His finger accusingly pointing.

"How the hell did this happen in the first place, man? You were supposed to have her back!"

Jay's voice was quiet. "I know." He drops his head in hands. "I'm so sorry, man. I should've pulled us out of there."

"You were supposed to watch her."  Antonio strains to speak, his tone is much softer this time as he fights back the tears threatening to spill. Wordlessly, he claps Jay's shoulder, giving it an affectionate and apologetic squeeze. None of this is Jay's fault. Antonio knows this and instantly regretted taking his emotions out on his colleague.

-72 hours prior-

You're sitting in the bullpen, having just been assigned to go undercover with your partner acting as your boyfriend. The idea being that the two of you would infiltrate the known drug gang the Scorpions as potential buyers and dealers for the more upscale neighborhoods the leader, Sammy, was trying to reach.

Your actual boyfriend is the first to speak. "Oh hell no. You're not doing this," Antonio tells you, earning a hard stare from you in return. "She's not doing this," he shifts his attention to Voight. "These...thugs are ruthless. They're killers."

Hank's eyebrow shoots up, wordlessly questioning Antonio. "Watch yourself there. Last I checked this was my unit. I give the orders."

"Sarge, if I may," you interrupt. "I'm willing to do this. I've successfully gone undercover before and I've gone alone," you remind not only your sergeant, but your boyfriend. "I want to do this." Your eyes fall to Antonio momentarily before looking back to Hank.

"Do whatever you need to prepare," he orders. You nod, reaching for your cell phone. Hank turns around and heads into his office. Antonio is hot on his heels, letting the door slam shut behind him after giving you a displeased look.

You huff an angry sigh. From his desk, Jay offers a sympathetic smile. "He's coming from a good place, y/n," he reminds you. "He's just scared. He knows you're more than capable of handling yourself out there."

Appreciating Jay's words, you nod your gratitude and make the call to set up this meeting.

//

You are fuming the entire walk up the stairs to your apartment. Antonio follows closely behind. You wait until the door closes completely before angrily spinning back in your heel to glare at him.

"Do you have any idea how demeaning and humiliating it is to not only have my boyfriend, but a superior colleague to react that way in front of my sergeant? Our sergeant? This is important, Antonio! And I'm not some rookie. I've done this before! You have no right-"

"You're right," his voice is calm and not at all what you expected to hear. "And I'm sorry, mi amor. I made sure to tell Voight before we left that I support you doing this and promised to not let my feelings compromise this case."

"Oh." You feel your anger start to dissipate. "In that case…can you order dinner, please? I'm going to take a quick shower." You stand on your tiptoes, pecking his lips softly with yours before heading to the bathroom.

//

Today was the day you and Jay, or rather your aliases Roxie and Ray (you relentlessly teased Jay about his lack of creativity), were meeting Sammy, having already built a rapport with some of the other members lower in the chain of command. If it went well, today should be the day you make the bust. Both of you step into the garage to meet the team and go over plans one last time. You're in a body flattering dress hitting right above your knees, Jay in a suit sans necktie.Your friends whoop and catcall  Part of your personas was playing a bored, wealthy, money-motivated couple and you had to look, not just act, the part. As Antonio approaches, Jay excuses himself saying he'll be in the car waiting whenever you're ready. Antonio's voice is quiet. "There's still time. Don't do this."

"I thought you supported me."

"I did...I do! I just can't let you-"

"Let me?" You yell, earning the unwanted attention of those nearby. You shake your head, hurt and disappointment shine in y/e/c eyes.  You walk away without another word, getting into the passenger side of the car

//

You reach the autobody garage the Scorpions use as a front. Immediately they pat you both down by a few members you've met during the time undercover. You're positive your inspection is more thorough as he squeezes your one ass cheek.

"Hey man," Jay shouts seeing you get groped.

"It's alright, babe," you wink. "Rico's only appreciating a good thing when he sees it." Rico smirks before declaring, "They're both clean."

Sammy, and another man you recognize from case files, Nic enter. "What's this? Who did you bring me?"

"These chumps are gonna be your new sellers."

Sammy's eyes hone in on you. You hold his gaze. "Hell naw," Nic says. "They brought you cops."

"Oh, please," you say, rolling your eyes. "With this face and ass-he knows, he felt it," you point to Rico, "I'm too fine to be a cop." You flash a cheeky smile.

"Bitch, shut up!" The back of his hand connects with your right cheek. The stinging causes your eyes to water. Beside you, Jay flinches; it's hard from him not to react.

'Listen man, I don't know what you think is going on. We just-"

"You can shut up, too." 

You hear the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking, turning to see it pointed at Jay. Sammy gives a nod to one of the others. 

"Look out," you try to warn Jay, but it's too late. The butt of a gun hits Jay in the temple and he gets kicked at the back of his knee until he falls to the ground. His head hits the cement flooring hard. You don't understand why the team hasn't busted in yet.

Nic's gaze is on you. "You testified at Dierk's hearing." His fist swings and it makes contact with your jaw. It's enough to make you sway but you remain on your feet. "He was my cousin you, stupid bitch. Get her in the car. Leave him."

As you're forced into a black SUV, you manage to choke out a weak,"Jay, " your stained voice sounding unrecognizable to your own ears.

//

The equipment they sent you in with was faulty. Voight was furious as was Antonio. They whole worked diligently to get video or audio, anything to keep tabs on you and Jay. It's not until the SUV, with you unbeknownst to them inside, peels out, that the whole team moves in and finds Jay bleeding and unconscious on the floor. Kevin reaches him first. "He's alive!" he shouts to the others. Adam radios for an ambo before he and the others continue to clear the building. Kevin gently shakes Jay awake. He groans, hands instantly reaching the side of his head. He makes to stand.

"Easy there, brother," Kevin warns. Jay lets Kevin help him to his feet. "We've got a bus on the way."

Jay nods, "I'm fine. Where's y/n?"

"She's not here. No one is," Hank answers as the rest of the team draw near Jay. Jay's stomach plummets as he realizes they've taken you, his partner.

"Son of a bitch!" Antonio yells, kicking an oil drum.

"We work fast to get y/l/n back," Hank declares. "Check for surveillance, witnesses. We find that SUV and we find y/n. Alive

 Any means necessary.  Let's move." The team disperses and his hand clasps Jay's shoulder. "You get checked out by medics first." Jay opens his mouth to argue, but shuts it quickly. He nods his compliance. Hank and Antonio follow him to the ambulance that's just arrived.

"Hey boss," Jay speaks, with a tentative glance to Antonio. "This went south when Nic recognized y/n as the detective who testified against his cousin. Hank pursed his lips, but even in his anger, the color drains from Antonio.

"Voight," Antonio's voice almost cracks.

"We'll get her back."

//

Bloodied and bruised, you're alive with very little clue as to where you are. Your survival skills kick in.

You take note of your surroundings. You think you're in an unfinished basement of a residence. Definitely a lower floor as you remember being tossed down a flight of stairs. Your hands are bound behind your back and tied to a support beam. The door to upstairs is locked and even if it wasn't, based on all the noise coming from the floors above you'd never make it out undetected. 

The door opens and heavy footsteps make their way towards you. Nic comes into your line of vision.

You try reasoning with him, "As far as I'm concerned, nothing's been done that can't be undone. You just gotta let me go."

"You don't get it, do you? Maybe this will clear things up for you." He draws his gun, pressing it into the middle of your forehead 

"But first I'm gonna fuck you real hard." His face inches from yours. Nic pulls the gun away. His stale, hot breath reeking as he stands too near. You couldn't help but scoff before you throw your head into his, headbutting him with all the might you could.

He cries out in agony.

"Stupid bitch." He backhands you. Then grabs you by the chin. His furious eyes never leave you and a rough hand claws at the skirt of your dress. You feel cold metal pressed against your thigh. "First, I'm gonna fuck that tight pussy with my gun inside you then-"

"Why?" You smirk. "Afraid you won't be able to get it up?" So much for those survival instincts. Anger flickers across his face. His free hand makes a fist. You dodge his swing and he instead makes contact with the pole. This enrages him more. Hastily Nic puts the gun back in his pants. Both his hands wrap themselves around your neck.

//

14 hours have gone by. That's how long it's been since Antonio's last seen you. He's hurt and getting desperate. With less than two hours of sleep (Antonio only went home after Voight said he wouldn't be any help without some rest), he was out trying to find any witnesses, checking traffic cams, and placing calls to all his CIs in hope that any of them might be able to give a lead. When one of them started stringing him along, Antonio jacked the guy up against an outside brick wall near the precinct. That's when Kim found him. 

"We got something," she says in a hurry, fearing Antonio may do something he can't come back from.

The team picked up two Scorpion members and one is currently in the cage. 

"Five minutes, Hank. Just give me the key and five minutes alone with this guy," Antonio pleads to his sergeant. From the cage, the Scorpion chuckles. Antonio lunges causing the chain links of the cage to rattle. He appears more animalistic than human and the laughter does immediately. "Where is she, you bastard?" Hank looks at the guy, still refusing to talk, then he unlocks the door for Antonio.

"Are you crazy? You can't let him in here with me," he shrieks.

"Your boss has one of our own. And she just so happens to be his girlfriend, so you're crazy if you think I could really stop him if I wanted to," Hank answers before moving away from the door and heading upstairs. The door barely swings open before Antonio steps inside, knocking the guy to his ass with one punch. He picks him up by the shirt collar preparing another blow when Jay and Adam come flying down the stairs.

"Get outta here!" Antonio yells.

"We got an address. Atwater and Kim they picked up another member and he talked," Adam says breathlessly. Antonio hesitates.

"C'mon on man," says Jay, "He's not worth any more of your time. If y/n's there, let's go bring her home."

//

Hours have passed. How many you're unsure, but as they ticked by your hopes of being found or escaping  dwindled. Pain flows through your entire body. You sit on the cold, hard basement floor, unable to stand anymore. Nic had strangled you until you passed out. He never touched you like he promised and when you regained consciousness you were alone.

Shouts came from upstairs. You're unable to hear every word, but you catch enough to know they're talking about you.

"We need to move her now. We've kept her alive too long!" You hear footsteps and then the opening of the door. Nic appears before you, with a sinister grin. Your heart races as he nears. His eyes roam your body as he undoes his belt. He pulls you to your feet by your hair. A whimper escapes you and he laughs. Once again, his hands pull at the skirt of your dress. His hands travel along your thighs and ass squeezing both. His touch makes your skin crawl that you actually shudder. His fingers start to tug your underwear down when there's a commotion from upstairs.

"Freeze! Chicago PD."

"Drop the weapon!"

"On your knees! Face down." 

"I said drop it!"

Your heart flutters with hope, but then shots ring out and you have no idea who's firing or what's happening up there.

"Down here!" You yell. The basement door opens.

"Chicago PD!" Antonio and Jay's voices ring out.

"One male. He's got a gun," you warn. As they rush down the stairs, Nic pulls his gun on you.

"Drop your weapon!" Jay orders. His eyes perfectly fixated on the gun in Nic's hands. Antonio eyes you carefully and while seeing you bruised and a gun to your head isn't ideal, he's relieved to see you alive. Your colleagues' guns stay fixed on your offender. "You won't be told again. Drop. Your. Weapon." Your eyes lock with your boyfriend's beautiful brown ones and you nod ever so slightly. You slide down the pole as Nic moves towards you as if he was going to use you as a shield. Both Antonio and Jay fire their guns. Blood splatters onto you. Jay moves to check the body, but all you really notice is Antonio running to you  and it's honestly a beautiful sight.  "Baby, baby, baby. Hang on. I got you," he soothes, working quickly to free your hands of the zip ties. Your head falls into his chest. Really your whole body just collapses into him. Antonio holds you close, careful not to embrace you too hard, but his touch has never felt better. You sob uncontrollably as he begins to rock you.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," you repeat.

"Shh. You did nothing wrong, mi amor. Shh, now, baby. I got you. You're safe again."

//

Immediately you're taken to the hospital. Blood is drawn,xrays taken, exams given. You've sustained several injuries, but nothing critical. Mostly you're bruised and exhausted, so when the machines you're hooked up to start beeping erratically, Antonio is confused and scared again, clearly demonstrated by that outburst directed at Jay. 

He opens his mouth to apologize when Will Halstead exits your room. 

"You can go back in now," he says simply.

The intelligence team looks at him, confused.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Y/n wasn't breathing properly."

"What?"

Will puts his hands up. "No no. She's fine. She can breathe. She was sleeping and wasn't breathing deep enough for the machine to register it. I promise she's fine."

There's a collective sigh of relief from everyone.

Antonio coming back into your room is a most welcoming sight. There's so much to say, but your eyelids are heavy with sleep. Instead you take his hand in yours. Antonio's free hand lovingly caresses your face.A feeling of safety washes over you and you drift off into a peaceful dream.