#I LOVE reading about magic...but I hate designing it because I know I overthink and nitpick and I can literally feel my brain rebelling

[redpanda-redpanda]

✏️

[heejayy]

So for my request, can you write a oneshot featuring Todo and a fem reader in an Aladdin AU please? I imagine the reader as a princess with Todo as her palace bodyguard. The fic would involve the reader trying to help Todo with his crush only to develop feelings for the guy. What do you think?

Your Majesty || Aoi Todo

Warning • none?

Genres •Alladin Au! fluff, a little angst

Pairing • Todo x reader

a/n: cried while making this. And not because it’s sad it’s because it got deleted and I had start over 😶

————————————

After your handmaidens got you ready for bed you sent them off for the night- well more like rushed them off. You were waiting for everyone to leave so you could let Todo in.

“Psst Todo they’re gone” you whispered out your bedroom door. He slipped in but not without knocking a few things over.

“Sorry” he whispered placing back in the rightful spots. You couldn’t help but laugh at the big goof. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t do anything too gracefully, but who could when you’re 6’3.

“Get the game ready while I go close your balcony doors” you nodded stepping over your pet fox resting by your bedside. You grabbed the monopoly box and skipped over to where Todo stood.

“shall we your majesty” he bowed pointing towards the Persian rug offering you a seat.

“You know I hate when you call me that, we’ve been friends for a while now.” He shakes his head disagreeing

“You’re the crown princess and I’m just your bodyguard, if anyone heard me not using your correct honorifics they’ll have my head”

You frowned “Todo you’re more than just my bodyguard, you’re my dear friend” you smiled pinching his cheek. His face instantly turned a bright shade of red.

“How was your day your maj-“ you whipped your head towards him giving him a glare. Todo noticed and rolled his eyes “how was your day y/n?”

You smiled “good, yours?”

“I met Malia in the royal gardens” your ears perked up at the mention of Malia. She was one of your handmaidens, but you didn’t see her at all today due to her being assigned elsewhere.

“Oh, is that the girl you have a crush on?” You asked fully knowing the answer.

“Yes, she’s a lovely girl” you nodded looking at the rug tracing the designs.

“Do you remember that old tale in the children’s story book about a princess, that poor guy and her magic carpet?”

“The one with the unrealistic genie… no why?” You glared at him rolling your eyes “Don’t act funny, but anyways I was just thinking how lovely it would be if we could fly anywhere in the world on this very carpet and have a magic lamp to make wishes.”

“That’s impossible stop reading fairy tales” he teased.

“You just have no imagination do you?!” He shrugged fully aware he was annoying you.

“Out of curiosity what would you wish for?” He asked moving his playing piece.

“To have a normal life and fall in love.”

———————————————-

“Ha! Go to jail!” You laughed as Todo moved his playing piece to jail.

“Cheater” he huffed crossing his buff arms making his uniform tighten around them. You swallowed looking away hoping he didn’t notice you gawking at him.

“So Todo…do you like Malia?” He gazed up at you, “well she’s pretty and has a nice personality, but- I don’t know” it might sound mean but hearing that gave you a slight relief.

“Oh, well just talk to her it shouldn’t be that hard” he scoffed.

“Oh really?” You nodded knowing fully k

“Whatever…anyways are you interested in anyone?” You gulped.

“Um no?-” he nodded. You two sat in silence for a while until he spoke again.

“It’s getting late and I should get back to my position before my replacement comes” you nodded watching him as he cleaned up the game.

“I’ll see you tomorrow your majesty” you watched him as his veiny hand reached for the gold door handle. You wanted to call out for him, but you stayed silent. You walked over to your bed cutting off the lamp as you got into bed.

You didn’t get a wink of rest that night due to overthinking. You watched the sun rise from your open balcony door over your beautiful kingdom, one that will be yours be yours.

“Good morning princess y/n it’s time to- oh you’re already awake?” Malia said surprised as she walked in.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked while pulling back your curtains, you shook your head ‘yes’ lying squinting your eyes as the sun came pouring in.

————————————

You absent mindedly walked the halls of your beautifully decorated palace. No where specific you were headed you just wanted to walk.

“Your majesty where are we going?” Malia asked trailing behind you.

“No where” you shrugged as you rounded the corner, you spotted Todo talking to another guard. You two made instant eye contact as if he could sense you.

“You’re dismissed” you told Malia trying to put her off on Todo, “but your majesty-“

“Dismissed” you said more sternly, she bowed and back away.

You wondered around longer making your way to the garden maze as you spotted your fox.

“Leo!” You gasped smiling as he ran up to you. You got down on your knees to pet him “that’s my baby!”

“I found him chasing a butterfly” you looked up slightly startled.

“Oh, good evening Todo” he bowed.

“Where’s Malia?” You asked innocently. He chuckled responding with “in the kitchen.” You nodded picking up Leo making an effort to walk around him.

“I know what you’re doing” he spoke following you around the garden. “What are you talking about?” He sped up his pace walking in front of you cutting you off.

“Todo if you don’t mind I’m walking, you’re welcome to join me-“

“Cut it out” he laughed “you’re trying to set me up with Malia” You shrugged “I thought you liked her?” You said tilting your head now genuinely confused.

“I do- I did- she’s ok but i- I don’t know!” He exclaimed flailing his arms, Todo has always been dramatic especially when he’s conflicted. You watched him in distress as he paced the around. “She’s gorgeous, has a nice smile, tall and has a nice body…”

“Todo I don’t want you with Malia” you blurted out cutting him off. He stopped pacing turning his muscular frame to you.

“What do you mean?” You rolled your eyes.

“You big dope I- I like you” you confessed biting the inside of your cheek twirling your gold bangles on your wrist as you held Leo. He was silent for a while and you couldn’t read his expression which made your heart drop to your stomach. Maybe you made a stupid mistake, you shouldn’t have confessed that was idiotic of you. You held Leo closer to your chest trying to gain a sense of comfort. You wanted to run away but your body wouldn’t allow you.

“Y/n” he called your name gaining your attention. You loved when Todo said your name, given there has only been a few times when he does it makes it feel special.

“Yes?“ you answer.

“You like me?” You nodded.

“Well I- it would never work! We’re too different I’m your body guard I have nothing to my name, while you are the crown princess, heir to the throne, the most beloved princess in the nation. I’m sure your father already has someone for you to marry-“

“I don’t want be with anyone else but you!” Todo was taken back at your outburst. You’ve never raised your voice in such an angry manner before.

“I love my father but he can’t control me or my feelings, I want you Todo.” A smile appeared on Todo’s lips “don’t worry you’ve always had me y/n.” He cupped your cheeks and kissed you, you smiled into the kiss feeling butterflies erupt in your belly. You might not have gotten your magic carpet ride but you feel like your wish has come true.

JJK Masterlist

©heejayy 2022 — any reposts or translations of my works are strictly prohibited unless granted permission

[watchmegetobsessed]

And I always will - Tom Holland

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

week 3 babies! it’s been so long since i last wrote for Tom and this story just screamed for him when I made up the plot. so here is some cute friends to lovers christmas edition! updated the fanficmas post with next week’s fic and added another one for the 24th, check it out if you are interested!

word count: 4.2k

masterlist

It’s not a date, it’s not a date, it’s not a date!

That’s your mantra for the evening and the closer the time is coming when Tom is picking you up, the louder you’re shouting it in your mind. Well, while it was sure he was nowhere near your apartment you physically kept telling yourself, heart pounding in your chest with each passing moment, but when he texted you that he’d be there in five you shut yourself up.

Stepping to the mirror you take one last look at yourself in your simple black dress and red blazer, a simple but fitting look for the annual Christmas party of the company you’re working for. You tug your hair behind your ears to make your earrings more apparent, they are like little red Christmas ornaments, the perfect touch up for the occasion and you also happen to know Tom loves how you wear them around the holidays every year.

This whole thing started a week ago when he was over for a movie night, something you often did when he was in town and you whined about having to go to the company party alone again and listen to your boss comment on how she was already married at your age. She is a very old school woman with strong beliefs that a woman should be able to catch herself a man at an early age if she doesn’t want to end up alone for the rest of her life.

You were only twenty three, not at all in rush to settle down, but you hated the teasing and commenting every year. It happened all through the year, but it was the worst at the Christmas party, because then she had the time to talk to you without the distraction of work, so she was able to touch on more personal topics as well.

Tom listened to you patiently, letting you rage about the irritation even the thought brings to you every year before proposing his idea.

“I could go with you and pretend to be your boyfriend.”

The words rolled off his tongue so easily, like it was nothing at all, when in reality it put your stomach into a knot immediately. It might have not mean anything to him other than just a friendly request but it meant so much more to you, being in love with the man for years.

Cliché, right? Falling for your best friend and keeping your emotions bottled up because you’re too afraid to come clear and possibly ruin your friendship. It sounds like a horrible teen movie, but this is the truth. It’s not something you can just blurt out without having to overthink about all the possible outcomes that would send you into a rabbit hole of the worst case scenarios until you are scared to talk about your feelings for life.

You were hesitant about his idea, but like every time, he managed to talk your ears off and convince that it would be a great idea.

“Lots are already thinking we are a couple, it would be easy!” he assured you, and he gave you a sly, cocky smirk, one you can never resist. So naturally, you said yes at the end and that brings you to this evening, when you’re nervously waiting for him to arrive to pick you up so the two of you could go to that stupid party together, pretending to be a couple.

You keep pacing back and forth in the small hallway as you wait for him to arrive and when you hear the knock on the door you jump.

It’s not a date, Y/N! Just pretentious!

You keep telling yourself your little mantra as you stride over to the door and open it for him. And there he is, handsome as ever, wearing black dress pants and a nice, crispy looking white shirt under his wool coat, the top buttons of the shirt left undone to let your greedy eyes a little hint of his toned chest underneath the fabric. You need to stop yourself from sucking on your breath, he looks so great, not just now, but all the damn time, making you feel lightheaded with just a simple smile.

“You look beautiful, girlfriend,” he tells you, putting a teasing tone into the last word and though it was just a joke, it made your heart flutter for sure.

“Thank you, boyfriend,” you shyly smile, the word tastes so sweet on your tongue, but there’s some hidden pain behind it.

“Ready to go?” You nod and grab your coat and purse before shutting the door behind you and locking the door.

The ride is short, but feels like forever. You’re anxiously chewing on your bottom lip, heart pounding in your chest and you fear that Tom might hear it and question you about it. This is so nerve-wrecking, and so not how you imagined to be his girlfriend for the first time.

Though it’s the closest you’ll get to the title, probably, you tell yourself, stomach churning at the thought.

“Hey,” Tom’s soft voice grabs your attention when he stops at a red light. “Nervous?”

“Just a little,” you nod shortly. “I just… want to my boss to take me seriously for once,” you lie, because there’s absolutely no way you are telling him it’s him that makes you shit your panties.

“I’ll be right there with you and we’ll charm the shit out of that woman,” he smirks making you laugh at his words.

“Hope so,” you mumble with a sigh, turning back to stare out the window.

Tom parks down in an empty spot near the venue that holds the part and he helps you out of the car giving you a hand, but he doesn’t let go of it once you are standing on your feet, holding your hand and even lacing your fingers together. When he gives it a gentle squeeze you peek up at him and notice that he is looking down at your with a warm smile as if he is trying to tell you that it’s gonna be alright without words. You try to swallow your anxious thoughts and hope he doesn’t find your hand too sweaty as the two of you head inside.

You work for a huge marketing company, one of the biggest ones in London. You landed an assistant job two years ago, fresh out of college and worked yourself up to be a fulltime graphic designer, mostly working on visuals for smaller campaigns running in the company, but you were proud of your work and enjoyed it to the fullest. One of the lead designers is rumored to retire sometime next year and you were hoping to be considered for his spot, thought there are quite a lot who has been working there for a longer time, but you felt like you have proven yourself to be suitable for the job. Tonight you are praying to charm your boss so she would move your name forward in the process and earn you a few good points at the admission, but this meant that you have to make her believe you are the definition of couple goals so she would get off your back and finally see that you are trying your best to move forward in life.

The venue is one big ball room, several tables set on the sides with the department’s name on the table to let people know where to sit, the luxurious decoration making the whole place appear like Winter Wonderland straight out of a fairytale. There’s a stage at the very back with a DJ already playing and a dancefloor in the middle, some guests are busting their best dance moves there, while others are enjoying the open buffet that runs along the two sides, tables filled with the most delicious looking meals.

A waiter greets you both, offering you champagne and you gladly take a glass while Tom shakes his head with a soft “I’m driving, thank you”.

Looking around you see some familiar faces but there are a lot new ones. The company has a whole office building with five floors and one usually stays on their own floor throughout the working days, you don’t interact much, so it’s hard to tell who you are working with on a wider level.

“Do you know where we are sitting?” Tom asks leaning closer to your ear so you hear what he is saying over the music and as his hot breath hits your neck it sends a shiver down your spine.

He is so close and his hand feels so warm on mine, you think to yourself while your eyes scan the place, trying to find your colleagues. When you spot them you pull Tom in their direction, plastering a nervous smile on your lips.

“Hi everyone!” you greet them arriving to the big, circular table. You work with a team of ten designers, some of them are older, but there are two around your age. Sally is twenty-five, her desk is right across yours and you’ve become closer, eating lunch together almost every day, and then there’s Owen, who is basically the office’s gossip source, always knows what happened to who and he makes sure to give the word away to the right people. Your older colleagues find him nosy, but you think it’s funny how he can still get any information from anyone even though he is known to have a big mouth. There’s just something about a tall, gay dude who approaches you with a sly smile, it’s like he puts a spell on people and they magically start talking. He often joins you and Sally for lunch, the three of you forming a club of young, ambitious people, holding each other up so you don’t get crushed by the judgy thirties.

When Owen looks up from his cocktail he almost spits it out seeing Tom standing next to you, holding your hand firmly.

“Little miss Y/N?! What is this supposed to be?” he gasps dramatically and you just chuckle shaking your head at him.

“This, is my uhh—This is my boyfriend, Tom,” you nervously introduce him and he waves around politely.

“Hi, nice to meet you all,” he calls out and most just acknowledge him with a nod and a hello, but Owen is over the roof that you just appeared with Tom Holland by your side.

“Why haven’t you tell me you were fucking Spider-Man himself?” he continues to rage and you almost choke on your own saliva hearing his words. Your cheeks start to heat up, but seemingly Tom doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as you, he just chuckles lightly, before pulling out your seat to help you sit before he takes the seat next to you.

Sally, who is sitting between you and Owen just slaps his chest in a warning manner.

“Control yourself!” she scolds him, but it only earns her an eye-roll.

“I’m sorry, but I feel offended I didn’t know about this,” he explains pointing at you and Tom.

“I hope you understand that I like to keep my private life, well, private. So it’s my fault Y/N hasn’t been bragging about us.” Tom rescues you from making up some stupid lie and you’re happy you didn’t have to say a word, so you just chug down half of your champagne in hopes it would ease your nerves a little.

Surprisingly, Owen backs off immediately, giving you a knowing look, as if he understood so well the life of a well-known actor even though he was far from being one.

“Oh, totally. I get it, don’t worry about it, Tom. Though I’m sure she’s been dying to talk about you all along.”

“Has she?” Tom teasingly looks down at you and you just let out an awkward chuckle nodding.

“Yeah. Exactly,” you mumble finishing off your champagne and putting it to the table. Tom can easily tell how nervous you are, so he puts a hand to your knee under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze, leaving it there afterwards, but it just rises your anxiety level. You are highly aware of every touch and look, as if your senses became hypersensitive all of a sudden, but only to Tom.

“So how long you two have been together?” Sally asks with a warm smile, trying her best to steal the opportunity from Owen to talk so he doesn’t say anything inappropriate and you are endlessly thankful to her for that.

“Um, couple of months,” you say the first thing that comes to your mind and from the corner of your eye you see Tom just nod along your words.

“And how do you know each other if I might ask?”

“We’ve been friends for a long time, actually,” Tom speaks up this time. “Y/N’s dad used to work with my dad when we were younger and we sort of became friends. I was always in love with her, though it took me a long time to grow the balls to ask her out.” You are stunned at how easily he is talking about something that’s not real, as if he has been building up this story in his mind for a while, but that can’t be the case of it.

“Oh, this is so cute! And did you feel the same way?” Sally asks you. Licking your lips you glance over at Tom.

“Yeah. Loved him all along,” you softly say and it’s the truth, however he will probably never know about it.

“It’s like in the movies!” Sally gasps, holding her hand to her chest.

Tom’s eyes still hold yours and he gives your knee another squeeze that makes you take a deep breath before you tear your gaze away from him, feeling giddy and lightheaded.

You stay at the table a little longer before the two of you head to fill your plates before everything is fully gone. It’s kind of a relief to get away from Owen and Sally, you hated lying to them, but you had no choice.

“Everything alright?” Tom asks, brushing a hand against the small of your back as the two of you stand at the buffet, looking at the food.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you nod with a weak smile. “Just a little nervous,” you admit.

“Don’t be, we are doing just fine,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses your forehead gently. It’s nothing new, he often does this and the gesture always manages to pull you out of your boiling thoughts and it has the same effect this time as well. You feel like you can breathe again after holding it in for a long time.

You carelessly glance over your shoulder as you wait for Tom to finish packing his plate up with veggies when you spot your boss talking to a guy who you recall works as an accountant on a higher level. Her eyes move just enough to meet yours and you suck on your breath when she spots Tom next to you, right when he reaches out mindlessly sliding a hand to your waist.

“Oh God, she saw us,” you mumble under your breath as you watch her excuse herself from the guy and head in your way.

“Hm? What?” Tom lifts his head and his eyes quickly find the tall, lean woman walking towards you with ambitious and confident steps. Mrs. Winston is the kind of woman that could easily intimidate any high power man in the industry, and she worked hard to be where she is now. However, you don’t necessarily always share her beliefs of the world and life, for instance her vision of a woman marrying a man as young as possible.

“Y/N? Who is this handsome man you brought tonight?” she asks right away, eyes landing on Tom who has put his plate to the table behind him and circled an arm around your waist. Before you could even get a word out, Tom extends his other hand out for her, with a charming smile.

“Tom Holland. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Winston. I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.”

Oh God, you’ll never get used to hearing him say that and you’re amazed he remembered her name even though you just mentioned it earlier.

“Nice to meet you too. Call me Carol,” she smiles, seemingly already loving Tom and honestly, you can’t blame her. “I saw that you were bringing a plus one, but I was expecting a relative,” she comments finally paying you a glance and you can feel the sharpness in it, how she partially meant it as an insult, but you just smile at her widely.

“Oh, no. Hope you don’t mind it.”

“Not at all. So tell me, why do you look so familiar, Tom?”

“I’m an actor, you might have seen me in movies.” It takes Mrs. Winston to put the picture together, but when she eventually does, she gives you a highly approving look.

“Well yes! Now I remember! I think my son in law is a big fan.”

“Give him my best wishes,” Tom nods with a warm smile.

“You know, I’m happy to see Y/N finally with a worthy man by her side. I always told her to grab herself a good one before she runs out of time,” Mrs. Winston starts her usual sermon.

“Oh, I think Y/N is perfect on her own, I think she is an amazing individual,” Tom replies and your and Mrs. Winston’s eyebrows rise at the same time. “I don’t think a woman needs a man by her side to make her complete and I admire her strength as a person on her own, not just in a relationship.”

“Don’t you think a woman needs the support of a man to succeed in this man dominated world we live in?”

“Not at all,” he shakes his head confidently and you feel him pull you closer to his side while you listen to his words curiously. “I think women deserve the recognition of them and their work and not to have it overshadowed by any men. I’m proud to be Y/N’s boyfriend and I’ll support her through everything, but I would never let anyone think of her as just a part of our relationship, or the person connected to me, because she is so much more than that and I want everyone to recognize that.”

You are at a loss of words, you knew Tom was a feminist, supporting women’s rights passionately, but you never heard him talk about it in a close relation with you. His words twisted your heart in the best possible way and though tonight is all about faking, something is telling you that these are his genuine thoughts, except the part about your relationship, but he could easily mean just your friendship under that.

Mrs. Winston seems stunned at the honest and forward answer, though you can tell it surprised her that someone went against her beliefs. However, it doesn’t seem like she is upset about it, more like she appreciates the balls that someone spoke up.

Her eyes fall back on you and there’s a small smile tugging at her red lips.

“He is a keeper, Y/N,” she simply tells you before walking away.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out when she is far away. Tom gives your waist another squeeze as he glances down at you with a smirk. “It’s like you put a spell on her!”

“I’m a charming bastard,” he shrugs smugly before grabbing his plate from the table and the two of you make your way back to the table.

Following the little talk with your boss you feel a lot more relaxed, knowing that Tom charmed the shit out of the woman. Now you are starting to enjoy the party, laughing with Sally and Owen and you’re happy to see that Tom is getting along with them pretty well too.

When the DJ starts playing All I Want For Christmas, the whole room cheers as one and most guests rush to the dance floor, that includes you and Tom as well.

He keeps you close, twirling you and moving around with you to the song, even singing it just like most people around you. Looking around you spot Mrs. Winston dancing as well, a lot more reserved than you, but she looks like she’s genuinely having a good time. She winks at you when your eyes meet and she sees Tom wrap an arm around your waist. You feel yourself blushing and you turn back to him, earning a sweet smile from him as he is enjoying the party.

When the song ends, the DJ slows it down a few knots playing Christmas Lights by Coldplay, people start to leave the dancefloor, only couple staying to slow dance to the song. Your eyes meet Tom and you thought he might want to go back to the table, but instead, his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you to his chest, starting to sway to the rhythm.

You try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you feel his body pressed against yours, his hands holding your waist firmly, and you cheek is next to his, occasionally brushing in the motions. You run your hands up his broad shoulders and rest them behind his neck, a shiver running down your spine when you hear him sing the lines into your ear:

“Like some drunken Elvis singing, I go singing out of tune, saying how I always loved you darling and I always will.”

You lean back just enough to look into his eyes, feeling like the words he sang were a message addressed straight to you and you needed to see it in his look. When your gazes meet your heart skips a beat when they validate your thoughts. He sang those lines on purpose and he wanted you to hear them, but still, you can’t bring yourself to say or do something. You just stand there, wrapped in his arms, eyes lost in his, swaying gently to the song.

He brings a hand up to your face and tugs your hair behind your ears, his yes fall to your earring and he can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips.

“I don’t know if this is the right time, but I feel like it is,” he softly starts, seemingly having a hard time to find his words. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?” you breathe out faintly.

“I love you.”

The words almost push you out of your balance, and you feel like you are falling down in a deep, endless hole. He said the words you’ve been aching to hear from him for so long, he really said them and he is looking at you with eyes you’ve only seen in the mirror when you were thinking about telling him about your feelings. But this time the look belongs to him and he is breathlessly waiting for you to say something in return.

“I love you too,” you softly tell him, brushing your fingers gently along his jawline. He breaks a relieved smile, but then furrows his eyebrows in a serious expression.

“Just to make it sure, you are not talking about a friendly love, right?”

You can’t help but let out a chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“No. Not friendly,” you assure him and he sighs in relief again.

“Great, because it would have been really awkward.”

You bite into your bottom lip, shyly staring up at him, a little lost about what should be said or done next, when you hear Owen call out from behind you.

“You guys are standing under the mistletoe! Kiss!”

First you turn to look at him and then you follow the direction where he is pointing and you see that you are in fact standing under a little mistletoe, hanging from the ceiling. Turning to face Tom you shyly smile at him, while he looks way more confident in himself.

“We can’t break the rule,” he chuckles teasingly, making you laugh as well before leaning down he captures your lips in a sweet, breathtaking kiss.

You feel like a teenager again, the butterflies are going wild in your stomach and you’re pretty sure your hands are shaking, but you couldn’t care less. All you could think about is Tom and that you were finally kissing him. Teenage you would lose her mind knowing you finally got to kiss him, after all those years of secretly dreaming about it.

Tom kisses you again and again until you both are breathing heavily, so he pulls back a little, resting his forehead against yours, his hands keeping you close to him.

“Wanna get out of here?” he breathes out and you nod your head eagerly.

“Fuck yes,” you chuckle making him laugh as well before he grabs your hand and pulls you back to the table to grab your stuff and then head out.

You don’t bother to say goodbye, or tell anyone you’ve left, you were busy feeling Tom’s hands touching you wherever he could, his lips finding yours every other minute. You both are a hot mess in the car on the way home and when you finally reach your apartment, you turn on the Christmas lights in your room, before Tom pulls you down to the bed and makes love to you all through the night.

-

general/forever taglist for Tom Holland

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Tom taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Tom fics!

@zaahidahhh @shawn-youth  @wildflower-cth @imaginashawnns @haute-shawn  @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @cutepenguin1 @madatmendes @harrysleftchelseaboot  @sarcasticallywitty15 @dontworrysunflower​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

[fuckingdeadbutroyal]

Jasonette July-Soulmate AU- Part 6

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 

!Warning! Explicit mentions of death! Read cautiously. 

Meanwhile in the akuma-shelters:

It has been close to a week now. The shelters weren’t properly equipped to supply so many people for such a long amount of time. Luckily it did have enough food and water, with the stocks having just had their yearly refill of canned food and drinkable water coming from the tap. There weren’t enough beds though. The worst thing weren’t the beds though. Ther shelters wanted to lower the risk of specific inanimate objects to function as an akuma.weapon, so the interior designers made sure he shelters kept nothing for entertainment. Lack of entertainment could be destructive to any persons mind, but paired with the ongrowing fear and grieve the citizens had to deal with? It was dangerous.

The people knew how to fill there time though. It was something us humans have always loved to do: Fight for structure and destroy anything in our way to gain control. That’s why some shelters have formed a hierarchy, with either the loudest or the physically strongest standing on top of the food chain. 

One shelter in particular believed the akuma had caused the end of the world, which was mainly because of the alley it was positioned on being isolated by Ladybugs third Lucky Charm. She had used it to try and capture the akuma when he tried to destroy  the shelter he felt personal hatred towards. Hawkmoth knew that it was caused by the now akumatized homeless man being frequently kicked out of it whenever there was no attack. Long story short, now the place was surrounded by large, high pressure fountains of water reaching up into the sky. (Tikki had clearly gotten desperate.) The only way out was either the caved-in tunnel the akuma had suddenly learned how to make, or a yo-yo/ baton/ grappling hook. Of course, none of the citzens had access to those. So they were stuck and afraid, not knowing anything about the outside world, apart from the fact that Ladybug still hasn’t captured the akuma and therefore couldn’t use her cure.

The people in that particular shelter were very diverse. There was an old couple, a few incomplete families who have lost people to the earthquakes, a group of college students, a group of kindergarteners and a few teachers and classes from Collège Françoise Dupont. 

The akuma shelters were opened in the middle of the day. At first they were timed with the akuma-alerts, but over the years the frequency of attacks has risen, which led to the shelters only being opened on Ladybugs and Chat Noirs request. That has become a rarity, since they only asked for it if there was a chance of them not succeeding. Once they were opened though, the citizens knew to follow a strict protocol. Schools for examples evacuated similarly to firedrills, with the slight change of the younger classes using the shelter underneath the school, while the older classes went for the next one in proximity. Usually the akuma-alert app kept them updated on last sightings of the villains whereabouts. Usually that wasn’t a problem, since most of the time the akumas were designed to attract attention and provoke fear. 

The current akuma was making it difficult, though. He was visible, sure, his actions spoke louder than any other akuma ever has. But you never knew where he was, not unless he was preaching his beliefs to one person in particular, who then had to survive so they could warn the other parisians. No, this time it was much more difficult. Ladybug was giving herself the blame for opening the shelters too late. At first the Dirtbag wasn’t destroying the buildings, just rattling them up a bit and keeping the citizens awake. The duo thought they could handle him, were even convinced they could find him in time, using Chats nightvision. I was only when everyone went about their day the next morining when the monster decided to strike. Hurting someone in their workplace so they would try to find shelter in their homes, before getting killed there or being lucky to find a place in the akuma shelters. A devious plan which lead to many deaths. Marinette hated herself for not figuring it out before it was already too late. She could have taken the precaution, listened to her gut feeling telling her to ignore the civilians complaints and just GET THEM TO BE SAFE. It reminded her of people who insisted on not wearing a helmet while riding their bikes. “Nothing bad has happened yet so why the panic? The drivers are going to look out for me.” and then one bad thing happens and it’s suddenly too late. No going back from not having taken the safety precaution while she still could’ve. 

No calling Bunnix or using second chance. You just have to deal with it. 

Dealing with it. That’s something the city will now have to do. Ladybug swore to herself that if.. no when she finishes this battle, she will immediatly take care of mental health programs and the promotion of health care organisations. Everyone will need therapy. It was bad enough to remember having actually died, but now there was more to it. It wasn’t as temporary as it has previously been. It wasn’t a question of one or two people dying for a timespan of about two hours, sometimes even less. No, it was about a third of Paris and a matter of days. 

The heroine was terrified of her magic maybe not being enough. 

She didn’t voice that thought to Tikki, not wanting to insult her abilities. Apart from that the girl knew her Kwami, she knew that if she were to share her fears, the other would shower her with love and support and probably even pity. It mostly wasn’t a bad thing, but Marinette knew she would brake down in tears if she were to let any soft emotions in. She just couldn’t afford to break down, couldn’t afford to give in to her emotions or the pain would ovetake her, numb her and lay her down in an episode that could seperate the parisians from their heroine. No, Marinette couldn’t think of how her decisions led to her parents death, she could not hink of how her decisions led to half her class being killed ~ by their school collapsing onto them the very moment they stepped out of the schoolgates on their way to the shelter. She could not remember Julekas face when she couldn’t free her girlfriend from the rock that was kepping her legs in place. Couldn’t think of how Ladybug went to safe Chat Noir instead of lifting that rock of the tiny blond girl who was bleeding to death in her girlfriend arms. Rose and Juleka did not deserve this.

Oh gods Juleka! She has lost everything to this battle. Mari sincerely hoped she didn’t know about what has happened to her home, didn’t hear or even feel how Luka and her mother drowned in the wreck of their own ship...

Juleka wasn’t there to witness it, she was hiding in a shelter. To be specific, she was hiding in the very one shelter Ladybug has isolated from the rest of Paris. You coul call it the safest one of them all, if it weren’t for the person who was hiding in it. 

They say it’s easier to not cut your hand, if you know where the sharp edges are. Well, this shelters sharp edge was shiny, so how could it be dangerous? 

Lila Rossis’ shiny tears could drown her worst enemy and they would still marbel about that glistening beauty.

They say you shouldn’t pour gasoline in a room you can’t escape, a tiny spark could burn, but breathing it in for too long can kill you. Lilas lies were sprinkling into every direction in a room full of people she didn’t know. Her gasoline could meet a spark and burn... It was day six and for now the only danger for her health were the toxins, the acidity of her lies and attention seeking. It was slowly eating it’s way into the truly hurt, dissolving the hope of the ones who were traumatized. Lila would do anything to reach the top. She had no problem with throwing her friends under the bus, just to feel the temporary relief of the breeze  their fall would bring. 

In this situation getting that breeze meant loads of strategy. Lila was coldhearted, yes. She was a neglected child from a toxic household, yes. She didn’t understand love that didn’t come from lies. But unlike others, she didn’t give up on those toxic lectures her life has taught her. Lila was stoic, which meant she believed in her thesis, not wanting to listen to other opinions. Lila was intelligent, which meant she knew how to make her opinion be the only one that mattered. Lila was scarred, which meant she would try everything she could to keep herself from getting hurt. 

But Lila was also weak, which meant she would hurt others before they could hurt her.

--------------------------------------

“This is nice.”, Mari thought to herself. She felt so incredibly comfortable, not a single limb was hurting from exhaustion, she was warm and safe. Breathing was easy, no pressure was pushing down on her lungs. Upon realising that, she couldn’t help herself but take a very deep breath, which later turned into a heartly yawn. “I haven’t slept this good since...oh shit” Her memories came back in a punch. Her breath hitched and started to pick up on pace. Ah there it was, the constant adrenaline mixed with panic, that was keeping her from getting that oxygen she craved. A grumble suddenly made it’s appearance right next to the girls ear and she shrieked fully awake and scrambled away, only now feeling her body as her own and recognizing the position she was in. That fully woke the man who she has just been sharing a sleeping bag with- a familiar sleeping bag, though she wasn’t about to start to decipher that now. Instead she was staring at the man she had just previously met in her dream. And he was staring back, eyes just as wide as hers. She could practically hear him overthinking while she was just...stuck. Usually it would have been the other way around. Mari would blush, scramble stutter and panic her way into an embarrasing situation. Now though? She could see those emotions in that incredibly imperfectly perfecty looking man in front of her. She could see that tiny scar she wore on her eyebrow gracing his. She was blushing, yes, and she felt the shock sit deep in her heart, emotions overrunning her at a pace she didn’t think were possible. That meant a lot, since Marinette was all too familiar with anxiety and sensory overload. But she didn’t freak out. Instead she felt just felt the uncontrolable urge to comfort him, to make his heart stop panicking and instead feel the safety he had given her. Not even secondguessing herself she just lunged into his arms, hugging the man so closely he would never forget that very moment. Jason was still for just a millisecond before he put his arms around her in a just as energetic hug. It was like finally seeing your little sibling after not having seen them for a month. You see how much they have grown, are overflowing with all the emotions, good and bad, you have felt because of them. Suddenly, though, you are loving every one of them. It was like meeting your best friend after they have just told you they were getting into that school they always wanted to or seeing them safe after something horrible had happened in their area. It was pure appreciation, adoration, love. The meeting of soulmates.

It’s not like they haven’t interacted before, after all. They were THERE whenever something bad had happened to the other. They had felt the other grow up, learned what the other has internalized and thought of each other every. single. day, for years. To Marinette it has been her whole life and even though Jason was two years older than her, he has couldn’t remeber a single day passing without her in his mind. 

“Mornin’”, he spoke up first, though his voice wasn’t more than a whisper. 

“Nice to meet you too”, she whispered back, a smile clear in her voice. 

Hearing her voice he couldn’t help but hug her closer, but upon feeling the pain in her ribs he winced and pulled back. She was confused by the sudden movement for just as second, before realising and shaking her head with a laugh. 

“It’s okay don’t worry, I kind of got used to it, living with you and everything...”

While Marinettes heart was swelling up with warmth from the knowledge that this man did really care about her, his was cramping from the proper realization of just how much suffering he must’ve put her through. He saw her throat covered in all those tiny white lines, the fresh blue bruises on her arms. The pain he felt was the same she did. She did not deserve to suffer so much, not at all. Marinette saw him trembling and took his hands. This was very unlike her, not overthinking, being so bold while in civilian form. She enjoyed it. Even more so, she was happy to be able to act this way, since it was clearly necessary for the situation. Jason on the other hand felt like he was crying, letting out a breath he has been holding for too long, finally breathing in after a long dive. He felt so so damn relieved. Her hands in his where so reassuring, so forgiving and apologetic. 

“I am so sorry”, he mumbled, meaning every bit of it.

“Don’t be, those are mine.”, she smiled. Mari knew what he meant and accepted his apology. He didn’t just mean the scars that were currently gracing her skin. He meant the tiny one on her eyebrow, the several broken bones, the bullet wounds that were gracing her thighs and shoulders, the thick scars left by blades and explosions. He meant the pain. And she understood him. His soulmate wasn’t mad at him. Marinette lifted their intertwined hands to eyelevel, the touch so foreign but so familiar. Her rough fingertips touched his, the cuts she has never learned how to avoid while having her late night sewing sessions having healed again. Jason smiled slightly, remembereing just how annoyed he was to wake up to fresh cuts almost every morning. “I always paid you back, after all.” A grin was now gracing her face, a devious glistening lighting up her already vibrant, aquamarine irises.

Jason let one hand go and subconciously rubbed his upper arm, the one they always beat to get back on each other. Marinette giggled again, now being ready to take in more of her surroundings than just that whole world of a person in front of her. It was cold, dark and smelled vaguely of home. Not a good combination at all, especially considering the latest events.

The latest events... Where was she? Why was it so quiet? And why the fuck was she sitting on her fathers sleeping bag?

“Oh no you didn’t.”, her voice was flat. She remembered Chat having been by her side when she collapsed. He must’ve brought them there. The girl turned her head in every direction, looking for him without success.

“Did Chat bring us here? Has he slept? Has he seen me in my civilan form? Tikki where are you?”, her voice was rising in volume, demand and worry more audible than it had been in a long time. The tiny godess flew out of her hiding spot, face contorted in uncertainty. Before she could answer, Jason chimed up: “Yes, he is okay and promised this place to be safe. He did see you and left shortly after. He wasn’t looking like he was about to do something reckless, just said he’d get back to work, so I let him go.” His reaction was kind of weird, to be honest, but Jason hasn’t thought much of it back then. Now he was quite certain that Chat wasn’t supposed to see Ladybug untransformed. The civilian looking girl just nodded and stood up, her mind obviously racing and her eyes flicking through the room. “I really want to leave this place. Are you ready to go?” 

Tikki looked worried and kind of guilty and Jason did’t yet know why, but they had time for that later. They quickly did what they needed to do, which meant restocking on cookies and drinking a lot of water for Marinette and contacting the team for Jason. The soulmates updated each other on the battle while on speaker with the bats. Loads of uncertainties were answered and ideas on how they could proceed were exchanged. Towards the end of it, when the heroes and vigilantes just agreed to meet up at the Louvre and go further from there, Jason suddenly laughed and over to his soulmate. “I just noticed, we haven’t properly introduced ourselfes.”, he held out his hand, a lopsided grin gracing his features, “Name’s Jason Todd, the scariest Red Hood with guns Gotham has to offer”. Marinette laughed, clasping his hand in a firm grasp. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng, also known as MDC and anonymously flying over the city in a skintight suit calling myself an insect.” They shook hands, eyes glistening with humour, both freaked out about the absurdity of that situation. “I’d say I’d wish we’d met under different circumstances, but I gotta admit this-”, the man lifted his other arm, which was currently holding one of his guns, “-is pretty damn epic.”

"It's getting even more epic from here.", she smiled, speaking as if she knew more than she told him. "I have an idea. We need to get an important box from my room. I know It's safe but I haven't moved the debris to retrieve it, yet. Kind of couldn't handle my emotions enough to come here sooner...", realization hit him like a brick. "This is your home? So are those people...this place.. oh Mari I'm such an idiot."

"No, Chat is the idiot. He has been flirting with me in both my forms for literal years and has never once voiced any suspicion on us being the same.” 

“Wait what? He flir-” 

“And now he just takes me to the place we dear but turned out to need most! Maybe he has figured it out and knew I would keep my box here...”, Marinette started rambling and Jason couldn’t help but smile inspite of his irritation. He didn’t understand everything she was saying but she looked so much better than she did on the videos Tim has send to the group. No more exhaustion, way less pain and just such determined hope was seeping out of her every pore. Jason enjoyed her presence, her voice and her words, even though he didn’t understand most of the connections. She was just to lively and cute to stop her. Sadly that vanished pretty quickly. 

Not only has Marinette realised that she has been talking non stop to a man she had just properly met for the first time, but she was already talking about things only she and Chat knew. It was weird, as if he must’ve known them. He was there after all. By her side, in her body, all the time.

They made their way towards her room, passing by a dusty kitchen and a door that probaly lead to some kind of foyer. There was what resembled a living room to their left, but it’s ceiling had collapsed and everything was covered in dust an debris, so it was hard to tell. Luckily Marinette decided to transform before making her way through it, which lead to Jason taking the lead and already going towards the destroyed staircase she pointed out to him. He had turned his back to Mari, not knowing what the transformation consisted of and not wanting to invade her privacy. He saw the walls around him light up pink for a second, but his attention was elsewhere. The closer to the staircase he went, the more rotten it smelled. There was an already dry trail of brownish blood coming from above which lead to...

Jason was happy he was the first one to notice them. He has seen many dead bodies before, has been the reason for some himself. Seeing those people was disturbing though. They were saved as soulmate-knowledge in some deep part of his brain. The fear of her reaction to seeing them was even worse. That’s why when he heard Ladybug approach him he quickly turned around and took her hands and so she would face him instead of the staircase, before she’d gotten the chance to see them.

Marinette, or currently Ladybug, let out a startled “huh” and looked at him questioningly. He only now noticed the slight redness in her eyes and the irritation in her gaze. She was holding back tears and he hadn’t even noticed. What kind of a soulmate does that? “Will you be okay?”, he asked, holding her hand so gently she could pull away without any resistance. It was clear this gesture was meant completly for her and she appreciated it wholeheartedly. It felt so much better, safer than with Chat. She loved her partner and of course she trusted him not only with her life, but also to back off whenever she asked him to. That wasn’t everything that mattered though and Mari was sad she’d only just realised why she was truly comfortable around him. 

Adrien was very touch starved, has been ever since his mother died. So he subconciously tried to prolong every touch he received. No matter if it was when she was handling him something or walking beside him, he was always touching her, constantly trying to hold on, keep her there just a little longer. It wasn’t just clingyness, it was as if he’d zip himself onto her whenever he could. She didn’t blame him for it and often didn’t even mind his affection. As mentioned, he always immediatly backed off whenever she asked him to. Once he even managed to spent a fight protecting her without any physical contact whatsoever. It was much more dificult that way, but she had winced when he jokingly kissed her hand before the fight and he has taken that as a sign to back off. He only allowed himself to come closer again when she’d explicitly allowed him to do so, not wanting to watch him walk around with drooping ears. Still, she rarely enjoyed the contact and almost never initiated it. Not because she didn’t like him, she just didn’t want to get his or her hopes up. Now, looking at her soulmate, she was happy she hasn’t tried anything with Chat. It would’ve only made everything much more complicated than it already was. Of course she could have had a platonic soulmate-relationship with Jason, but considering his looks and his charm Marinette would have considered it a shame not to appreciate who the universe had paired her with. 

“I’ll manage.”, she answered, though her voice was unpleasantly close to breaking. “I’ve got my coping mechanisms, more talking less thinking, though I’m sorry if I annoy you with it I should probably find a new wa-”

Before she could dive into another ramble Jason just shook his head, glancing over her shoulder. She realy should not see them, no coping mechanism is going to delete that image once it’s there. “I’m okay with that, don’t worry”, he tried to smile but gave up when it came out pained. This was not the moment for smiles. Not while he was facing his dead future in-laws. 

“But may I suggest a new coping mechanism?”, he bowed to the girl in front of him, who just tilted her head in curiosity. “What do you suggest, Monsieur?” Once she accepted the invitation he gently pulled her closer, taking his red heltmet that has been previously dangling on his belt, and carefully placed it on her head. She giggled, the helmet was too big on her and she looked incredibly cute. “I think you put it on backwards, I can’t see.”, she stated with a teasing smile in her voice. “Oh I’m sorry dearie, guess I’ll have to help you get up those stairs then”, upon saying that he picked her up and, when he sensed no discomfort from her side, proceeded to carefully climb past the two dead bodies on the staircase. Once they safely arrived in the room above and Jason was sure the Dupain-Chengs were no longer visible, he let her down and turned the helmet into the correct position. ”Feel safer like that?” “Tikkis magic protects me from any possible injuries. But I still like it very much, your air conditioner in this thing is incredible” She turned to him with a smile. “I’ll feel much safer with you wearing it, though.”

Mari took off the helmet and stood on her tip-toes, reaching up to place the red fashion-disaster on his head. “Once we’re done with that Dirtbag I’ll design you a new one. You don’t just look scary, this thing is embarassing me on your behalf.”

“Hey! I designed it myself! But I’ll gladly take you up on that anyways. Tim has only praised you handiwork so far and his face upon seeing me wear an MDC original instead of him is going to be priceless.”

Jasons ear suddenly rung with Tims strained voice asking about MDC and what the fuck he had missed. Jason ignored him, though on the inside he was yodeling with laughter about having gotten Tims favourite designer as his soulmate. 

----------------------------------

Adrien was furious with himself. How could he have brought Marinette to the very home she would have wanted to avoid the most? How did he not notice the intensity of her grieve after her parents death? “I’m such an idiot!”, his scream echoed through the void that once was Paris. He was running towards yet another mansion, the one near the Pont des Arts, and audibly talking to Plagg. For an outsider it would’ve looked like he was talking to himself, or even worse: his suit. Technically he was doing just that, since Plagg had no way of reacting to his words while in this form and Adrien was not ashamed to admit that he liked it much better that way. No moans and dumb jokes while he was talking about important stuff. (He liked the jokes though, Plaggs sense of humour was Purr-ecious, even though admittedly Adrien was the only one to think that.)

“You think so? I think you still being alive is pretty not-idiot like.”, that voice made Adrien stop dead in his tracks, leading to the one who had suddenly appeared running beside him toppling over. Chat took fighting stance, waryily following the person with his eyes. “How the fuck did I not notice you sooner?!” The bright yellow figure, which the cat recognized as the Signal stood up and lifted his hands as if to show they were unarmed, only he was indeed very much armed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m with Batman, so please don’t attack.” Adrien mentally cursed, knowing that the lack of noticing someone as noticeable as the Signal was Plaggs form of revenge on Adriens rambling. “You little shit”, he whispered to the Kwami, who of course did not respond.

“Excuse me?”, Duke was staring at him in slight irritation. “Oh no I’m sorry I was talking to my...suit. It’s a long story. Anyways! It’s nice to meet you Signal! I’m a big fan.”, a smile spread out on the cat, his overall appearance only intensifying the cheshire grin that followed, “My name’s Noir, Chat Noir. I have to say, you look purrfectly nothissable, your suit is pawsomely doing kitts job.”

“Are you a furry?”

“What? NO!”

“I mean there’s nothing wrong with it if you are it’s just the way you speak-”

“I’m not, but thanks for the reassurance, I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

The look Signal was giving him was...hard to describe. Adrien was blushing, hard. Of course he would fail at flirting with one of his favourite vigilantes. OF COURSE the Signal would think Adrien was a furry. Marinette had warned him, why wouldn’t he listen?! An awkward silence kept the two boys in place, each looking at the other in uncertainty. Finally Duke decided to break the silence. “So... anyways... let’s get going, I’ll introduce you to the others. We also have some gadgets you and Ladybug could find useful.”

“That’s great, thanks.”

“Just so you know, I’m not judging you-”

“Thanks.”

“- but whenever you’re ready...”

“What do you mea-”

“As Anna from frozen has said: Love is an open door.”

“I get it. Please stop.”

“Sorry.”

With that, the black and yellow pair made it’s way towards the Louvre, with at least something else but the end of the world on their mind.

-----------------------

“How can you be so ignorant? Don’t you know how much Jagged Stones’ son meant to her? You of all people must understand how bad it is to have a loved one die!”

“Alya please, Juleka is still coping, she didn’t mean it that way...”, a crocodile-teared Lila told her servant, though she wasn’t really trying to stop her. Just a few minutes ago they were all discussing the distribution of rations, since the fight has been going on for even longer than they had formerly estimated, which meant a rapidly ending amount of food as well as rapidly growing panic. 

Lila chose that very moment, when everyone sat down, to start audibly weeping. How could she not use such a perfect audience, after all? 

“I’m so sorry I just.... I was trying to keep it together for so long now but then it got so quiet and it all just...”, she wiped her perfectly dry nose on her sleeve,”my boyfriend... Luce, Jagged Stones son you must’ve heard of him...well he died in the first night and I have only just properly processed it...” 

Upon hearing this, a murmur went through the audience. Over 80% of the present people have lost someone to the akuma. Everyone was coping differently, that’s okay. Juleka for example has spent most of her stay either silently sitting or very quietly humming to herself. Whenever someone pulled her back into reality though, her thoughts caught up with her and lead to full blown panic attacks which left her shivering, crying and throwing up in one of the limited toilets the shelter had to offer or outside the doors, which really didn’t help her condition, apart from maybe the higher oxygen rate the street had to offer. 

During the planned meeting, Julleka proceeded to just stay in her corner and humm her melodies, until the words “Jagged Stones’ son” had pulled her out of her trance. Instead of panicking, Lilas claim led to a kind of rage growing inside Julekas chest she hasn’t felt for a long time. 

“Jagged Stones’ son? Are you fucking serious?”, her voice wasn’t loud. Juleka rarely raised her voice. She didn’t need to, it was powerful enough if she wanted it to be. It filled the previously murmuring room with the kind of thunder that left a void behind. Some were holding their breath and for once it wasn’t because they were afraid to provoce the italian girls tears. Not only hasn’t Juleka spoken since her parting from Rose, no, her voice also held the energy of murder, her words intentions promised blood.

The ones who knew her were even more afraid, some held tears n their eyes. Juleka and Rose had a very rare kind of bond. They didn’t have the same abilities or a dependance on each other. Instead their bond was complementary. Where Juleka was darkness, Rose was light. Where Rose was naiv, Juleka was vary. Where Juleka was forgiving, Rose was loud. Where Rose had a voice that could carry for miles, even if she didn’t raise it, Juleka had hearing that could decipher even the quietest sounds. 

It isn’t unusual for a soulmate to carry one of the other ones traits in case of seperation. Some liked the reminder, it made them feel connected to the person they love, even if they were dead. Some couldn’t handle it, not being ready to let go. 

Juleka was somewhere in between when she heard her voice suddenly sound like Rose. She now had both of their complementary powers, she should feel complete, like a full human being. Juleka was happy to hear her loved ones voice again, but she did not in the slightest feel complete. She felt torn. She couldn’t hear her soulmates heart beat anymore. She couldn’t stop thinking of the moment she heard it stop. It stopping was the loudest sound she has ever heard.

Now she had her lovers voice by her side, supporting her in what she was going to say next.

“You are not dating him, shut the fuck up and get your priorities straight.”

That's the very moment all hell broke loose. Of course there were the ones who were smart enough to at least notice that arguing with the musician was dangerous and simply uncalled for, but there were also the already brainwashed ones who believed they had to protect the privileged who just felt like exploiting a situation for fun. Those believers were a few newbies Lila has recruited during her stay in the shelter and most of her classmates. Only Ivan, Nathaniel and Ondine joined Julekas side. The rest was either dead or has succumbed to the overwhelming pressure of the situation.

Alya was in protective mode, but for whatever reason she was protecting the offender.

That brings us back to the very moment:

“How can you be so ignorant? Don’t you know how much Jagged Stones’ son meant to her? You of all people must understand how bad it is to have a loved one die!”

"Yes I do.", Juleka voice rose slightly. The louder she got the more she sounded like herself, so she kept it quieter. Rose had to have a say in this too. "And so does up to everyone else here. But I also know that my brother has been alive that morning and I know that he would never even think of dating you, Lila."

She rose from her seating position, not caring for how her knees were about to buckle due to not taking care of herself for the last few days. The dust in her hair and the dark marks on her clothes made all those who saw her feel the dire of the situation. All but Lila. Lila wasn’t used to loosing and since she has never perceived the “quiet emo” as a threat before, she didn’t give her words any value. A lethal mistake.

“Oh really? What, are you saying your mother, that old lady who thinks she’s a pirate, had a child with Jagged Stone? Bless her soul I know it must be difficult to live with her..I’m so sorry if I sound mean I don’t mean it like that..you can come to me whenever you need me. I’m your friend and you’re right, your grieve is more important than mine, especially with a mother who brainwashed you like that....”

“Do not dare insult my mother. Don’t you dare pretend to know me. Don’t you dare twist my words. Who are you grieving, anyways? Isn’t you mother in Canada, helping the homeless? Or no wait, that was your long lost twin sister who has only just recently invited you to her wedding next month? And wasn’t Adrien your secret boyfriend? How did you bring Luka..no I mean Luce into this?”

“I...I understand you are hurt Jules”, the tall girl winced at the nickname her brother gave her coming out of that demons mouth, “but please don’t drag Adrien into this, wasn’t he always nice to you? Guys please don’t tell on her to Adrien, he would be terribly hurt....he has such a difficult life already...”, she hid her face in her hands. The ones who believed her thought it was to hide her tears, but in reality she was panicking. Juleka had a much better memory than she has expected.

“Stop attacking the girl like that, come here Miss Rossi, she won’t get past me.”, a male voice spoke up. It was principle Damocles, a man who feared the position Lila claimed to have. “You shouldn’t be letting your rage out on the innocent. We understand that your loss must’ve been tragic, but Miss Rossis loss isn’t about you. Let the girl grieve in peace or leave her alone.”

Juleka stopped shaking. Instead she just stood there, fire flaming in her eyes and a scary eeriness in her stance. “I’m leaving then.”, Roses voice proclaimed and the figure moved. No one tried to stop her as she went straight for the exit, climbed over the debris and turned around to look at them for one last time. Lila was about to say something, fake tears already ready to flow, but Juleka just flipped her off and shut the heavy metall door.

Oh how good it felt to breathe.

To scream.

Ladybug heard her scream and she had just the right Miraculous to help her let that anger out.

----------

Hi!

So this took really fucking long! But the next one is almost finished so there will be another grand update soon. I was writing several scenes at once and then took way too long to finish each one and properly connect them BUT I now have loads of action and banter and relationship and characatergrowth and all that funky fluff we love ^^

I’m sorry if I’ve kept you waiting, and I’m slightly sorry for the medium-cliffhanger...

IMPORTANT thank you all so much for your feedback! I love you so much and I’m sorry I haven’t answered most of you even though you absolutly deserve any bit of attention there is. Please just know that whenever I write these “thank you speeches”: I mean you. You are amazing and I hope you are feeling well <3

My tag list has grown! If you want to be added to this pretty ensemble down there, just message me in any way and I’ll be happy to add you!

Tag list \o/:

@maribat-is-lifeblood @lokilex @amayakans @readingismyoxygen @zalladane @sunspritethedestroyer @toodaloo-kangaroo @purplesundaze @yeet-this-bitch @ratherbereading125 @snap-crackle-pop-goes-my-joints @slytherin-batbitch @melicmusicmagic @laurcad123 @violatiger8 @thatonecroc 

Thanks for reading ^^

--------------

[lizacstuff]

SCK/EDSER asks

My inbox was full again, so questions under the cut. Some of these are from today and some are from earlier. 

(asks under the read more)

Anonymous said: Random things that amuse me: 1. When they met, Serkan didn’t seem all that mad that Eda keyed his car but was way more angered by her disdain for him. 2. I always forget about Eda’s ex because I think Eda forgot about him too. Cenk cheated on her and brought his new gf to break up with her, and Eda was more peeved that he implied Serkan was out of her league. (1/2)

The only time he’s brought up again is when Eda pretends to be texting him instead of Serkan (because Ayfer would be madder at her talking to Serkan lol). 3. Whenever Melo is supposed to be mad at Serkan in solidarity with Eda, she just cannot bring herself to dislike him. (2/2)

I LOVE THIS ASK! 

1. I have always wondered about that. Even current, softer Serkan would get PISSED at someone keying his car. He keeps all of his things pristine. You know under normal circumstances he would be infuriated by that and not let it go. The car would have had to go to the body shop and everything.  I think the fact that he didn’t seem all that bothered, other than threatening to call the police of course, is that he was just so gobsmacked by this insanely beautiful, but also beautifully insane, lady yelling at him and handcuffing him that he couldn’t think straight. The fact that she had seriously vandalized his car became inconsequential. 

Additionally, I think when he found out ArtLife had cancelled her scholarship, he became embarrassed and didn’t want to make any more of an issue about it. 

2. I forget about him too. What a tool he was. It also seems a bit out of character for Eda now.  All of her friends and her aunt knew that he was ghosting her, and they made it clear they thought it by their reactions, but Eda didn’t get it? Eda was ready to marry a dude she hadn’t seen for a year? That does not sound like the Eda we know. Independent, fiery Eda? It’s true that she’s grown a lot, but that much? It seems like they designed that relationship to put Eda in the right frame of mind to kiss Serkan on the podium and then, thankfully, forgot about it. 

3. Yes, Melo is all of us. In the early episodes especially, Serkan could be a real jerk, but I know I never held it against him for long, just like Melo.  None of us can resist him, I’m sure we were all cheering her on when she was the one to give up Eda’s Saturday morning location.  And I love it when she calls him enişte. It’s also sweet that he’s fond of her as well. 

Anonymous said: What are your thoughts about Engin and Piril? Sometimes I think they are cute and sometime I just don't think they are meant for each other. I hope Piril's father brings a new story and dynamic that will help us see whether they work as a couple or not.

My thoughts are pretty much the same as yours. In the beginning I really thought they were pretty flat and wasn’t really rooting for them.  Partly because I loved Engin’s character and I was pretty “eh” on Piril. She was so laser focused on work that I didn’t like when she would try and guilt Serkan because he was spending time with Eda. I found that annoying and I thought Engin could have a more interesting relationship (like Melo!).

Alas, that wasn’t to be, however I surprised myself by actually cheering when he proposed, and I really liked their heart to heart talk in the NY episode. On the other hand I wasn’t really charmed by their disconnect when it came to entertaining people. They were SO FAR apart.  Piril was so uptight and Engin so lacksodasical, I think they’ll end up driving each other bonkers and it’s hard to see how that will work, and I’m not sure it’s something I want to watch all that much of. 

Same as you, I’m hope that Piril’s father turns out to be interesting. What’s going on there? Will we find out this episode?

Also, honestly, I’m still pressed they didn’t call Serkan to come to the wedding. (But I assume that had more to do with how quickly they shoot and needing to have scenes without Hande and Kerem in them. H/K were in tons of scenes that episode so it was probably tight with scheduling and they were doing A and B units etc.) 

Anonymous said:  Hi Liza, I hope you are well and you and your loved ones are staying safe. SCK really helped make 2020 better and I'm glad we have the show in 2021 too! Sometimes the letter count in these asks really get to me because I feel like I have so much more to say and ask but oh well. In this ask i just want to say I hope Seyfi and Melo both get their very own happily ever afters. They're my favs and totally deserve it. Leyla too! That actress is so pretty, I wish we got to see her dress up more!

Hello! I’m well, thank you for asking.  I’m not even joking when I saw that SCK was a highlight of 2020 for me. I’m so appreciative for the happy and joyous distraction it’s been over the last few months. 

I LOVE MELO AND SEYFI.  They are two of my favorite supporting characters, and two of the only ones that have stayed at the top since the beginning. Now Aydan is up there with them, but she wasn’t in the beginning, lol! 

Those two deserve all good things. Leyla is also a great character and I wonder what her feelings are towards Erdem. Does she really like him?  

Anyway, I’m not sure what they might be planning for any of them, but I can tell you I’m more interested in how they might end up, than I am with Ceren, Ferit, Fifi, or Piril.  

Anonymous said: This ask may not be worth answering but I've always wondered about Eda's family on her mom's side. I don't think they've ever mentioned it on the show and if they have I may have missed it but it's interesting. It's most likely that her grandparents died and her mom didn't have any siblings but it would be really cool if she did have a family member who understood her and supported her and Serkan unlike Ayfer.

It would be interesting to know, you’d think she would have some relatives on her mom’s side.  We’ll have to see if the show ever mentions it.

Anonymous said: Ok it may be the overthinker in me but unlike everyone else I'm actually worried seeing Serkan wear his engagement ring. If he and Eda reconciled and he knows the truth about her grandma threatening her, wouldn't their game plan be keeping their relationship a secret and not flaunting his ring. But then that's what the fans want, and maybe the writers have a different idea. I'm freaking out with worry that maybe Serkan and Bulca got engaged! But then it looks like his original ring! let's see!

Anonymous said: I'm the one who feared the engagement ring in a previous ask. Well today's pics/videos that show Serkan, Aydan and Seyfi at Eda's home with flowers seem like they are asking for her hand in marriage. It's an assumption but I feel much better. Lol!

See, this is why I always say not to borrow trouble by worrying about the disaster scenario.  Why would he ask Balca to marry him the day after he sexed up Eda? Even if they were hiding it and using Balca for subterfuge, why would they need to go all the way to engaged to do that? 

I’m glad you’re feeling better. I agree that the video posted today with them all at Eda’s house with the flower and the chocolate looks very much like they’re doing the traditional asking for her hand for serious this time! 

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Can’t wait to see them with their rings back on, we’ve been waiting so long. 

Also, I have no idea why they are able to get away with this... maybe Eda found something while investigating that neutralized Babaanne?  At least for the moment? 

Anonymous said: Sometimes I hate being the audience, we know things that the characters don't and I want to yell at my tablet screen. I don't though because I don't want to confirm my parents thoughts that I am crazy, lol! Anyway I wanted to say that I appreciate you and the SCK community because none of my friends watch the show and I'm glad I have people to discuss this with, otherwise I'd actually go crazy. Edser & Hanker & the cast and crew make me happy! They're just amazing and I'm thankful for them!

Me too!  I appreciate the cast and crew AND I appreciate the fandom. There are some very lovely people here, and I’m thrilled that I have you all to discuss the show and ship with because none of my friends or family in real life watch either.  I’ve told many people about it, and sometimes I will drop words or phrases in Turkish that I’ve picked up watching and all they do is roll their eyes at me.  (I enjoy that) 

Also... talk back to that screen, I do. It’s fun. LOL. 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the fan theory that Eda & Serkan are actually already working together to bring her grandma down? Not sure that I really saw any clues throughout the episode that a scene of the two of them talking together was cut out but guess we could always get flashbacks to show it. I think for me that might make a little sense because how does Serkan not suspect that Grandma flat out made Eda breakup with him? He knows she wants them kept apart, he got arrested and then magically released which coincided with Eda staying away from him, entry of a prince interested in Eda and Eda being chummy with her Grandma 🧐. Or maybe he does suspect all of that but finally understands the risk that she poses to all of them so he agreed to end things? Very interested to see how the show gets us from that heartbreaking breakup to Serkan & Eda being jealous at the restaurant.

My apologies, I know this ask was sent before some of the recent spoilers including the second promo with the... uh... explosion. (sex) So at this point I do not think they are working together, the break up appears to be real. So it will be interesting how the first 2 hours of this episode plays out. I assume the sex will be in the last 15 minutes. 

It looks like Serkan’s tact is to pretend he’s over her and moving on and let that drive her crazy. So I’d say that in order to do that, he has a pretty good idea why Eda broke up with him and knows it’s because of Babaanne and threats against him.

Anonymous said: Can I just say - I really dislike Ayfer. And I just realized that she has had like no growth at all in these 25 episodes. I guess she has an instagram business now? There is such a huge contrast between how they've developed her and Aydan, not only in how they view EdSer's relationship but on their own as well. Aydan is a new woman while Ayfer is still just a hater and a negative nancy about everything. You'd think they'd give her a better storyline with her mother in town but I don't see it

Since you sent this I’ve answered another ask about Ayfer here.  I very much agree with you.  She reacts negatively to everything, I’m not sure why the girls like to hang out with her so much, they have to hide everything and she is like a damp rag covering any bit of excitement. 

On rewatching some of the early episodes, I have noticed that she was negative  from the beginning.  She was even annoying in her first second on screen, when she was waking Eda up to go help with the soil delivery. I hate that shrill voice she uses to say Günaydın over and over again. 

You’re so right that she hasn’t had much if any growth.  Neither she nor Aydan were excited by the Eda/Serkan pairing from the beginning. Aydan was more vocal, but Ayfer was just as disapproving.  And frankly, even though between the two of them, Aydan might have seemed like the more formidable foe to the relationship, Ayfer actually always had more power.  Just because Serkan Bolat is going to do whatever he wants to do and he’s not going to be swayed by his mother’s disapproval, but as we’ve seen in episode 21 Eda is more susceptible to her aunt’s guilt and disapproval. Remember when she asked Eda if she could trust Serkan’s positive assessment of her work because he might lie if he has feelings for her!?! GRRRRRRRRR. 

The other big difference is that once Aydan saw how absolutely heartbroken Serkan was, she completely changed her tune and became supportive of the relationship. Her son’s happiness mattered to her. While Ayfer sat there last week and watched her heartbroken niece and reacted with glee.  Eda’s happiness is apparently not important to Ayfer.  

If indeed the Bolat’s have come to woo Eda, it will be interesting to see how Ayfer reacts.  Will she come around on her own or will Eda have to give her an ultimatum. I wouldn’t mind that, actually.  Give Ayfer a reality check on the way she’s been behaving, just as controlling as her mother. 

Anonymous said:bHey Liza! Thanks for your thoughts on ep25, was looking forward to them today cause you're always rational and I pretty much agree with all you've said lol. The number of ppl mad at Eda/saying her character is ruined is wild, did they watch the same episode?? Eda HAD to end things because of the shit her grandma was pulling, like it wasn't small things she has serious connections, obviously Eda isn't gonna endanger serkan!! I really hope the people being irrational read your answers lol. The only thing that's bothering me about the episodes is that this is supposed to be a romantic comedy and I'm missing that (gotta be honest I fast forwarded thru the Alex ayfer aydan stuff lol) but hoping for some funny Edser stuff at least lol. Also THE PRINCE REALLY DO BE CRAZY lmao

This was also sent before some of the recent schedules. It looks to me like we’re are in for a bit of romance the next few episodes. 

I’M SO EXCITED!!

Anonymous said: the prince is very specifically credited as a guest actor, so i think that maybe he'll only be here for 1 or 2 more episodes max. which makes me think that this arc at least with him directly involved won't last very long. i'm excited about the bombshell to be dropped though because as of right now neither eda or serkan know exactly what babaanne's plan for him is in regards to eda.. and not to mention his other creepy motives that have to do with his dead wife.

I haven’t seen him mentioned in any BTS stuff for 27... maybe he makes his exit is 26? We shall see. 

Anonymous said:  while i understand where serkan was coming from in his decision to not tell eda the truth, it was coming from a purely selfish reason (even he says that) eda's decision is bc of a very real 3rd party threat that would have consequences for serkan's family, business, and his wellbeing. and eda has no time to prepare a plan or anything of the sort; she's basically backed into a corner. i really wonder why serkan is granted so much more understanding in the fandom than eda's character..

I don’t agree that Serkan was coming from a “purely selfish place.”  I don’t remember Serkan saying that and if he did, I’m sure it’s because he’s attributing all his motives to the one he’s most ashamed of feeling.  Because while there was something selfish in not wanting her to know the truth and not wanting her to think of her dead parents when she looked at him, I think it’s clear he was also trying to protect her from those thoughts. He was trying to protect her from the heartbreak of dredging up their deaths, protecting her from having to make the decision to leave him. It was a lot more complicated then just him being “purely selfish.” Remember he inflicted the greatest heartbreak on himself, you don’t do that for purely selfish reasons. 

It would be nice if anytime something went wrong, there wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction to vilify one or the other characters. 

[signofwolf]

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – book review

Series: Throne of Glass #7 Genre: YA, Fantasy Theme: Fae, magic users, war Warnings: mentions of torture, imprisonment Star rating: 0,5/10

Why did I pick this up?: I wanted to end this horrible series once and for all.

[Heavy spoilers ahead]

To make myself clear, before this book I quite liked this series. It wouldn’t place in my top 100 books, not even close, but it was a pleasant pageturner to listen to in audiobooks when working.

Language

Let’s start slow. I lack the words to express how much I hate the words ‘male’, ‘female’ and ‘mate’ after this series. Not even gonna try to express my trauma. But these 3 gems aside, Sarah J. Maas needs a dictionary. Or compress her work to a manageable size. Everything sang, Everyone melted, Every man roared, Every woman trembled, Everyone was unleashing themselves at least once a chapter (number of chapters: 122) ). And now I know definitely too much about Yrene’s ‘womb’. I know so much…

Dynamism

I thought that was a book about a war with heavy action content. Oh boy, I was wrong. This 984-pages monstrosity has maybe 5 pages of action. If you squint.

Every sequence, where by design action should take place was followed by one of two scripts:

Few sentences of action and then a few pages long internal monologue. Often repeated with the same character after the next few sentences of action, or with the next character and then the next (sometimes the first character made a second appearance and then everything would go all over again). And the word ‘character’ used in these sentences is not because I’m rambling. This book is written that way!

Few sentences of action and then action stops, and we are graced by a few pages long conversation. In the middle of a battle. Or spying. Or in Erawan’s chambers, when his castle is going down, and he is running up the stairs...

Time

Leaving alone the fact that apparently all series took less than a year (till this book I estimated the plot for about 3 years, Wiki told me it was 2, but Maas knows best), because that is a can of worms in itself. Time in this one? I honestly have no idea. There were many ‘few weeks of travel’ parts with two main groups of POVs. Personally my only time indicator was ‘Orynth won’t fall till Aelin gets here’. But nothing just fit. And I saw Lost Song when in the last episode we as the audience realized that our two POVs parallel storylines are in reality millennia apart. Lost Song made sense.

Emotional loading

… there wasn’t any. Really, it was like reading a milk label. Every time the scene was potentially emotionally impactful, Maas went ahead to overexplaining EVERY. GOD. DAMMED. THING. And it was abso-fucking-lutely everything. ‘Emotional dilemma? Let’s current POV explain it! 2 pages should be enough… Damn maybe it wasn’t enough. I know! I’ll switch POVs and explain it through the other character!’ <= My impression of Maas’ thought process. I’m fairly sure that the record was 7 POVs explaining the same thing in the row, but I was blacking out a little, so I cannot be sure.

And if that wasn’t enough, this book had a second way to defuse tension: random-plastic-repetitive-badly_written-smut. Really badly written and really repetitive. How could you not feel the spicy bits, when Manon (cruel, self assured 100+years old witch-queen) reacts the same in bed as Elide (20years old, virgin, ex-slave). And the rest of them were the same, there weren’t ANY distinctions.Just copy-paste.

The next point in current case: Someone died, it was impactful, I really liked the character, so I got sad. But then 2 of our characters came out of the room with a body, and after a paragraph of grieving they started making out, and then I was regaled with 2-pages-long description of melting cores. That was the place then this book stopped being badly written, and started being distasteful.

Characters

Remember when I was writing about switching POVs (which is 15(!!!) In the whole book. Oh and an omniscient narrator in places when our current POV was grieving too much to overthink something, but Maas still wanted to inform us about something)? They were all savagely murdered in the worst way: character mutilation. Somewhere between books our maybe-not-that-original but colorful and interesting characters became carbon copies of each other. I have no idea how many times I didn’t realise there was a POV switch. The only indicator was a change of pronoun, or when Maas was telling us the name of a current narrator. These were the only ways. And if you can't distinguish if you are in Dorian’s head or in Manon’s, that is the sign of a really BAD writing.

Romance

…there wasn't any. In all this book there wasn't any naturally progressing romantic scene. There were Maas’ endgame pairings which were sexing or pinning. As the author Maas loves to write about soulmates. And it’s not a bad thing itself. When I want some fluffy story I often tag ‘soulmates’ in AO3 and voila, +10 to good mood. But God above, it is not cute when every pair you write about are ‘true mates’ just BECAUSE. It is the only way Maas sees a relationship, as a fated pairing, written in the wake of the universe by the God himself. There is no choice, nor the work to put in it. They are the author's OTP and that means that they are perfect and they should have children right now. Point in case:

Guy was treating a girl like a shit on his sole, including throwing her naked out of tent, on a snow, with their friends present, all the while abusing her verbally in a worst way. But it’s okay, because when she almost died he realised his mistakes and apologised. Two scenes later, he was forgiven, because... fated mates?

The pathos

I know that many people don't like this type of scenes, but it's not my case. I’m reading by picturing images and not repeating words. I like sequences that I can imagine to be grand and glorious, even if they are a little corny. That said, the pathos scenes were the most disappointing ones for me. Maas likes to write parts that are more picturesquely exalted than logically possible [point in case: meeting of 5 armies/forces in the random patch of sand in Empire of Storms, and it being painted as ‘an Aelin’s great plan’. I laughed myself silly at that. But not taking logic and all the plot holes into consideration that was a nicely looking scene. In Kingdom of Ash that wasn’t the case. I would say that the author wanted to paint us a renaissance painting every 20 pages or so. In my opinion, every time she failed miserably. Each and every of those scenes was or to farfetched to be even remotely realistic, and evidently written only for a sake of the picture, or just plainly stupid.

Example, and it’s so priceless a scene, that I just need to share it: Battle of Orynth, 25th day or so (time in this book doesn’t exist), the 13. sacrificed themselves (like thousands before them but hush). And then, time stops: grieving Manon is going through the city, they open the gates for her (yes, the siege is still on), she goes to the place where they died, after her come out all of our main heroes, and half the city itself with ‘flowers, rocks and precious possessions’ and they lay it there in a tribute to these brave (evil till 2 months ago) witches. I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I saw such an abstract scene. It’s a material for an essay in itself. No, I could not take it seriously.

Additionally, it's hard to make an impact as every damn sentence is grand and lofty. In the end it became truly pathetic, Aelin vs Maeve was unreadable.

Character deaths:

Let's make a quick count: main characters in a series at the start of KoA: 12 secondary characters in a series at the start of KoA: 20ish minor and total background: a lot more

Death count: main: 0 secondary: 3 minor: 2 (11 if we try very hard)

Resurrections: 1 (possibly 3, but not gonna analyze it)

Did you feel emotions of this impossible war against this all-encompassing, all-powerful, invincible, immortal, cunning Evil with armies from 3 continents and 2 worlds? No? Me neither.

Oh well, but there were a lot of deaths of ordinary soldiers. I’m quite certain that all of Terrasen’s army was at least twice brought back to life for them to die in these numbers.

Logic or lack thereof

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Deus ex machina army of unbeatable, magical elves on wolves, from legends, living for the past thousands of years in the unreachable lands of the north, because they managed to run from the surprise attack 10 years earlier. Did I mention that they came from portals, which the whole book was telling us were impossible to make in this scenario? After the previous saviour army was already fighting there for a day? And that Aelin didn’t know they would come for sure (how did she contact them again?)? Even though they were waiting in the full armours for these portals? Ah, and also: that army didn’t do anything. They just came and fought for maybe 4 minutes. And there were just so many things like that!

And if we’re on the topic of armies I present you: ‘My favourite absurd-list in the series: allied armies’.

(As a comparison, in A Song of Ice and Fire by J.R.R Martin, in 7 kingdoms of Westeros, at the peak of war there were 7 forces present, but not all were even engaged in a war.)

First the ones that made sense:

Armies of Terrasen’s Lords (counted as one, not gonna nitpick)

The Khaganate army (also counted as one)

Galan Ashryver’s armada

Whitethorn fraction

Rebel Ironteeth witches

…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’?

And there were some that did not:

Ansel of Briarcliff’s army

The Silent Assassins

Mycenians

Wild Men of the Fangs

Army of magical elves on wolves

And the ‘I don’t even know’ category:

Crochan witches

Overpowering and overreaching

Section title tells it all. The stakes were too high. I was honestly waiting for Aelin to become Super Saiyan and start to throw planets at Maeve and Erawan. I won’t spoil if this happened.

In my opinion it could be a really great series, if our list of villains ended with Arobynn and King of Adarlan, and the list of Aelin titles with an assassin and a princess. We could have had two main fight plots: one emotional with Arobynn, when Aelin would have to face a damage he had done to her, and overcome it. And the second one, with freeing Terrasen from Adarlan’s rule. That’s it. There was an asshole, power hungry king, who feared magic and wanted to rule the East part of a continent. A lot of plot, but not so much that we stopped to care, or didn’t have time to cover everything. We could really get to know what Terrasen and his people were like and not JUST GET TOLD that it was ‘the greatest place in the world’ every damn 20 pages.

Plus…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’? It's a REALLY valid question.

Climaxes

IIf I have to write a list of things that disappointed me in this book, this review would be thrice its current size, but one of the worst grievances I have is the complete lack of acknowledging the plotlines that had been started. This book series has overall 4 372 pages (not counting novellas) and 12 main characters (still not gonna address this). All of them had their storylines and arcs but if they weren't tied up in the previous instalments they wouldn’t be in this one. I get it, Maeve and Erawan got beaten (in an extremely unsatisfactory way) but they were only a background in this series' plots.

Aelin Well, Aelin was one of 3 people (+2 paragraf-long insertion from Nesryn and Chaol) who got their own POV’s after the battle (second was technically Rowan, who was ‘Aelin’s POV outside of Aelin’.The third Dorian, who got almost a full two pages). And from this we got that: she got crowned, Aedion got his bond and that Maas have no idea how the city looks after weeks of siege. In her case what angered me the most was ‘Terrasen is my home’ subplot. Only in this tome we read at least 3 times that Aelin will be okay with dying, if only she gets to see Terrasen one last time, or if she get to die on Terrassen soil. But you know what? Maas forgot to write the scene where Aelin actually ‘comes in’.

Mannon Didn't get her own POV after the battle, but here’s what we’ve got: She is going to the Wastes with Croachans and Ironteeth. Whait. What? Yes, that was the ending of this 500+ years of feud. They fought together and they decided to unite their two species, completely forgetting more than half a millenia of slaughter. I can only hope that there were at least some talks behind the scenes… NO! F*** NO! This isn’t how it works!

Rowan, Dorian, Chaol, Yrene, Lysandra, Aedion, Lorcan, Elide, Nesryn, Sartaq Lived happily ever after

Secondary minor and total background characters Survived (I acknowledge that they would be ignored in most books’ epilogues, but this abomination is almost 1000 pages of nothing!!).

Good Scenes

That saying, this book actually had 4 good scenes:

Crochan witches go to war - gathering-forces-to-fight trope, which is my *love-always trope* so I’m not even sure if it was relatively good, or if I’m just a slut for this trope. It was still only a paragraph long though.

[recurring] The children’s tale Aelin repeated to herself to remember who she is.

‘Lorcan Lochan’ - the only marginally funny scene in the whole book

I actually found Darrel making Evangeline his heir charming. Even if circumstances were far-fetched at least.

But the words crime of this book? It was agonisingly, mind-numbingly boring. If the overexplaining and repetitions were to be taken out I highly doubt that there would be 300 pages left.

For these 33 hours of audiobook I suffered through I give it half a star. Because Abraxos exist.

Please see my garishly accurate cover on my instagram! You can also like it there :D

instagram | goodreads

[pocket-void]

Late night mumbling u///u

It’s currently 3 AM ish and I’ve been kinda thinking about how to feel about stuff. I do that sometimes.

The biggest thing is just what I should do with my time. It always comes back to that, time. There’s never enough hours in the day to do everything, and even when there is it feels like I don’t have the energy to do anything at all. Could be the winter cold, haha. Getting out of bed every morning is something I procrastinate at times, pffft. >\\\<

But I wanna get up. I get up because I wanna do stuff! I haven’t been doing much these days though, mostly because it’s break and I like to be sluggish when it’s break. It’s a good time to rest and all that, and that’s important too! But sometimes it feels a lil too unproductive, y’know? Gets me a lil antsy. I like the feeling of getting work done. u///u I also get really antsy when I feel like I’m disappointing people, as much as I also firmly believe that I’m the only person who needs to be satisfied with what I do at the end of the day. Kind of a natural feeling you know? There’s nothing wrong with it really.

It’s also normal to want people to like the things you do, and worry about the “what if”s if people don’t. It’s something that admittedly bugs me at times, since I like thinking that people like me. (To be fair I doubt there’s anybody who likes being disliked o///o) I get kind of nervous and overthink stuff when it comes to that sometimes. The whole “oh maybe they’ll find me annoying if I do this” or “oh it’s been so long maybe it’ll be awkward if I just go and do this”, that kind of thing. And that kind of concern leaks into the way I go about the things I make at times.

“Should I do this? Will this be ok? Would this be weird?” Sometimes that kind of thing stops me from doing stuff. It’s important to remember to step back and look at the bigger picture. Doing the things that I enjoy should never feel like a responsibility, and I’ve always believed that. At the end of the day, I’m free to just do the things I enjoy, y’know? But I still feel bad sometimes, because I’m really flighty with my interests. I wanna settle down and properly make something; tell a finished story. Even if nobody’s gonna look at it. I just wanna do something and see to it that it’s complete. But I leave behind too many things, and it’s a bit of a bummer no matter what it is really. ú///ù That’s ok though. I can’t do everything, and it’s easier to accept that than attempt to do so anyways. Take it easy.

Not that my mind isn’t always occupied with 3 ideas at once all the time anyways pffft. Currently there are a few topics of interests for me: The game I’ve been playing lately, continuing to draw comics, building a magic system purely for fun, and a whole lotta OC none sense.

I don’t often play games because it feels like a waste of time. But that’s a real bummer way of thinking about it. I don’t regret getting into Fallout New Vegas, but it’s certainly a time consuming endeavor due to the way I’m playing it pffft. And besides, even if I feel a lil bad about investing so much time into it, it’s still fun. As they say, “if it was time you enjoyed wasting, them it wasn’t really a waste of time”.

Believe it or not I still wanna draw the rest of the story for my AU that gets unfortunately interrupted both times I tried to continue it. I’m actually really embarrassed that it keeps happening, but I’ve decided that even if people lose interest in it I’m gonna keep doing it again. I hate to disappoint haha, but I’d say irregular updates are better than none! And either way it started out as a pretty self indulgent idea in the first place, I was really happy people seemed alright with it at the time though. Still makes me happy thinking about it now actually. I don’t regret making it. ^\\\^ (besides it’s actually more complex than its original idea now that I’ve been thinking about it for so long, but that won’t matter until I actually manage to keep going) Knowing me I just need to start, once I have momentum I’m usually pretty good at continuing. o///o

Just for fun I’ve been making up a magic system with a friend! Well it’s mostly me but he decided to shoot some ideas my way and I’m never against that. It’s like a semi Collab now. I started making it because I like magic systems and world building so I decided to make a system that’s basically everything I think is cool, so it’s a loose magic system with a lot of creative possibility and chances to go wild. The world will probably run of fighting game logic so it’s probably going to be really stupid, and that’s good honest fun to me! Seriously though, fighting games have the funniest world building due to fun character design trumping any sort of need for logic. Why do vampires, talking cats, samurais, robots, and whatever else share one world? Because it’s fun, that’s why. Lmaooo- >\\\< (I won’t be that wack since I like having more concrete rules, but just for fun why not just a lil bit...as a treat)

I miss making OCs. I wanna make an actual original story one of these days. I’ve had so many growing up but nowadays not as much. It’s a lot of work! But it makes my heart swell. I love making characters and worlds and watching them come to life. I have a lot of old OCs that make me wonder if I can recycle them all into a proper story, but perhaps that’s a bit ambitious for me right now. I’ve just been having a lot of thoughts because I love my recent OCs and wish to make a story for them. Well, my art could still use a lotta work too, haha. My art journey still has a long road up ahead, but I’m excited to keep going as always. *\\\^

If you’ve actually read all my nonsensical rambling then um, thank you, that’s very sweet that you’d wanna read the odd stuff I say. I never quite know what I’m doing, but I’m honestly just happy if even one person out there likes it. I would rather have people enjoy the stuff I personally enjoy doing than have me try and please others on purpose. You know? I’d like people to like me for me, that’s the greatest blessing I could be given, I’d say.

Anyways, it’s 4 AM now at the time I’ve finished writing this. It feels nice to ramble, even if it’s to nobody in particular. I hope you have a lovely day or night, wherever you are. u///u✨💖

[slytherinknowitall]

Potion Fumes and Cauldron Leaks

Chapter 16: Sit, Drink, Talk

(Click here for chapter 15!)

(Click here to start from the beginning!)

Disclaimer: I don’t own the “Harry Potter” book series. The story of “Harry Potter” is the property of J. K. Rowling, it is not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Severus could not help but notice a change in his apprentice’s behaviour over the next couple of days.

Unlike her last emotional low, Granger did still show up to class; however, she’d stopped raising her hand and kept her head down working quietly during the majority of the lessons. She also appeared to have changed her regular meal times, and, whenever she still could not avoid running into her “friends”, she would sit at the opposite end of the long Gryffindor table, eating alone. Sometimes, she would also just skip meals all together. And while she continued to visit his office on the daily, her mood had definitely changed as well. She seemed a lot sadder and less carefree than usual. Severus would often try to engage her in interesting discussions about potions and the like, but they would all soon fizzle out as she did not appear to want to talk much.

Severus was becoming increasingly irritated. Not only did it hurt him to see her feel that way, but he also selfishly wanted his Hermione back – the one he could spend hours quietly working on potions with, the one that would pester him with countless questions, the one that would give him a great big smile whenever she walked through his door. Now, she was only a shadow of her former self, and he hated it.

And so, he decided that he had to do something about it.

*************** *************** ***************

Hermione threw her heavy bookbag on her bed with a loud grunt. She was feeling extremely frustrated. Not only was she currently struggling to come up with a solution for an especially tricky equation that was part of the Arithmancy homework she would have to hand in the following week, but she had also been unable to cast the new spell they had learnt about in Defence Against the Dark Arts earlier today. And while it was almost dinner time now and her stomach was actually growling, she really did not feel like going down to the Great Hall and facing her estranged friends. She could not stand the way they stared at her whenever she was forced to walk past them to sit down as far away from them as possible.

She sighed as she bent over and gave Crookshanks, who was curled up at the foot of her bed, a quick cuddle. Perhaps she could sneak down to the kitchens later and manage to grab a quick bite that way. Straightening, she then turned and walked into her small study, where she sat down at her overloaded desk and began to work on trying to solve that stupid equation.

It must have been about an hour and a half later when her concentration was interrupted by an all too familiar tapping noise. Sure enough, there was a little school owl sitting on the windowsill. Hermione wrinkled her nose.

Another late-night delivery? Surely it couldn’t be …

An uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, she walked over, opened the window and made sure to give the bird a treat before carefully untying a small scroll from its left leg. After watching the animal fly away into the starry sky, she returned to her desk and unrolled the letter. Just like last time, there was no sender; however, the penmanship was all too familiar.

My office, 10.30 pm.

How strange, she thought. Why would he want to see her after curfew? Tapping her fingers against the tabletop, she allowed herself to ponder for a moment. But no matter how hard she cudgelled her brain, she simply could not come up with a plausible explanation for this ever so peculiar summoning.

Standing up, she began to pace around the room. The only possible reason he would invite her over this late that she could come up with was something forbidden, like dark magic or an illegal potion. Hermione could feel her cheeks start to burn. While she had never been one to break the rules, the thought of Professor Snape being a – for the lack of a better word – bad boy made her feel queasy in all the good ways for some reason.

Stop it, Hermione! That’s Professor Snape you are thinking of!

But with way too much time left on her hands until she was supposed to meet up with her tutor, the Muggle-born’s thoughts began to run wild: Professor Snape showing her a ground-breaking discovery he had just made, Professor Snape smuggling her out of school grounds to bring her to a secret gathering of the wizarding world’s best potioneers, Professor Snape regarding her intently as his lips were getting dangerously close to hers … Because if Hermione Granger was good at something, it was overthinking.

By the time she stole out of her tower to make her way down to the dungeons, Hermione had completely forgotten about dinner and Arithmancy. She had been too preoccupied by thoughts about the purpose of their meeting. Not by thoughts about Professor Snape, she tried telling herself; but subconsciously, she knew that she was lying to herself.

She did not know where it had come from, why her head was suddenly filled with unchaste ideas about her teacher. She was a bit too old to attribute them to pubertal confusion. All she knew was that she admired Professor Snape. He was a well-accomplished Potions Master, one of the smartest yet most mysterious people she had ever met and, if she was being honest with herself, not too bad looking either. He intrigued her, and the beating of her heart had suddenly quickened when she’d read his note. What would this encounter have in store for her?

It was a long walk from the Head Girl Tower down to the Potions professor’s office, but Hermione knew that she would not get caught. Among the perks of her position was knowing the patrol schedule as she too was sometimes required to aid school staff when it came to making rounds through the castle’s endless corridors. Her outfit was a bit more casual than what she would normally wear to see one of her teachers. She had combined a pair of light wash jeans with lined slippers and a really thick, bright-red woollen sweater, with the latter intended to protect her from the penetrating November cold – after all, Hogwarts was not exactly known for its good insulation. She had debated about whether she should have kept on her uniform but ultimately decided that Professor Snape could not expect her to be dressed formally if he sent for her past regular school hours.

It felt like an eternity had passed before she finally turned the corner and found herself in the corridor in which Professor Snape’s office was located. She knew that she was running a few minutes early, and she had actually planned to wait them out before knocking on the door; but to her surprise, the wizard was already waiting for her in the hallway. Seemingly out of nowhere, she felt her hands get sweaty.

“Good evening, Professor,” she said quietly; it was merely a whisper. “Aren’t we going inside?”

Snape mustered her for a second, noticeably surprised by her attire, and Hermione promptly started to regret her fashion choice; however, he did not comment on it. Instead, he let his voice resonate from the stone walls as he replied, “No. Tonight, we shall retreat to my private quarters. Follow me.”

And before she could get another word in, he had already spun around and was hurrying through the gloomy dungeon maze.

Hermione could feel her chest tighten painfully as she tried to keep up with the man’s long legs. “Private quarters? What in the name of Merlin is going on?!” the voice inside her head screamed. Sure, she had been in there before, but that had been during an emergency situation; she would have never thought that he would ever invite her back. Yet again, her own thoughts were threatening to overwhelm her.

Soon, they arrived at the portrait marking the hidden entrance to the professor’s rooms. Hermione could hear him mumble something under his breath before she watched the painting swing open. Almost instantaneously, she felt his hands on her shoulders. He practically pushed her inside.

Stepping into his sitting room, she immediately felt calmer. She had fallen in love with this place the very second she had first laid eyes upon it. The countless books lining the walls, the dark yet homely interior design as well as the overall cosy feeling just filled her with joy. If she were to imagine her dream home, it would definitely look something like this.

As soon as she turned around, however, her blissfulness swiftly turned into nervousness again. There he was, Professor Snape, just standing in the corner and staring at her with an expressionless face that made her whole body stiffen up. His presence was looming over her, and it somehow made her feel excited and scared to death at the same time.

You’re not twelve anymore, Hermione. He doesn’t scare you any longer. He’s still the same person you’ve been spending time with every day for weeks now!

But she simply could not help it. Merely standing next to him made her feel incredibly anxious.

“Sit down,” he all of a sudden ordered, pointing at one of the wing chairs in front of the fireplace – and without thinking, Hermione complied.

*************** *************** ***************

The only thing interrupting the silence was the crackling sound of fire. Sitting in the other identical chair just a few feet away, Severus watched the girl closely. She seemed nervous for some reason – her right leg was bouncing up and down restlessly, and she was back to gnawing at her bottom lip. Her eyes would not meet his; instead, they were clued to the floor. But he guessed that he could not blame her since it was indeed an incredibly weird situation.

Truth be told, he felt very much the same. Internally, he was chiding himself for being such a slave to his emotions. He knew that it had been wrong to invite her here, of course; that it would only make their relationship more personal which it definitely should not become. But he had just felt this inexplicable urge to do something, and, with how inexperienced he was when it came to social interactions, this was the only thing he could come up with – to try to make things better.

Admittingly, Severus was still a bit shocked by her look. He obviously knew that students often chose to wear casual clothing outside of class; after all, he had been a student at one point, too. And needless to say, he had seen her dressed in something other than her uniform before – during their coincidental confrontation in the Hospital Tower, a couple of times at Grimmauld Place, and in the memories which he had secretly viewed over a month ago, to name just a few instances. But for some reason, tonight was something else. Her outfit was definitely not special or provocative by any means, yet it threatened to disarm him wholly. The way the tight jeans hugged her curves, the way that the red of the jumper complimented her complexion – she was effortlessly breath-taking. It literally took him all of his hard-earned self-control not to start drooling right then and there.

When he had initially come up with his plan to help her feel better again, he had not thought about how it would all actually go down, and so quite frankly, the awkward silence was intimidating him a bit now. In an attempt to break the tension that currently filled the room, he conjured a silver tray with a large teapot, two dainty porcelain cups and a plate of biscuits straight from the nearby kitchens. A flick of his hand was all that was needed to propel the iron kettle into the air and command it to pour out the piping hot herbal tea. Leaning forward, Severus then handed Granger one of the cups without a word before setting the other one down on the small wooden table beside him. She accepted the beverage without complaint; however, after a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence, Severus noticed that she still had not touched it.

“Drink,” he said a little bit too loudly, making her jump. But still, she did end up taking a small sip. His own cup continued to sit on the side table untouched, where it would remain like that for the rest of the night.

Taking a deep breath to gather up his courage, he then finally managed to force out the words, “Now talk.” He prayed to the gods that she had not heard the slight crack in his voice.

“Pardon?” Granger looked up at him with her brows furrowed in confusion.

Severus gulped. This was not going well.

“Talk,” he repeated hoarsely, staring directly into her whiskey-coloured eyes.

“About what, sir?”

He was not sure when it had started exactly, but he had come to hate it when she used honorifics to address him. It merely served as a reminder of their teacher-student relationship – of how inappropriate his crush really was.

“Your … feelings.”

As expected, her mouth dropped open. “Um –“

Severus interrupted her quickly, internally starting to panic.

“Miss Granger, I simply cannot work like this! I need an apprentice who is able to dedicate herself completely to the subject of potion brewing, and the conflict with your little friends is obviously preventing you from doing so. You left me with no choice but to do something about it! If I have learnt anything from mainstream literature and cinematography, it is that women like to solve their problems by talking about them. So go ahead.” He knew that he was speaking too fast – he was painfully aware of it, in fact – but he simply could not help it. “Talk.”

Granger’s puzzled facial expression showed just how lost she was for words. “Professor Snape, I don’t –“

“This is probably the only time I will ever say this aloud, but you are truly an excellent apprentice. I enjoy working with you, and so if this is what it takes for you to become productive again, then please, by all means, speak!”

It was rather fascinating how easily readable she was sometimes; Severus was practically able to watch her inner debate with his own eyes as a whole array of different emotions washed over her face. Finally – it felt like it had been forever – she came to a decision.

“I mean, I can understand that they feel a bit let down by me, but I still don’t think that their reaction was justified,” she mumbled, the primitive dance of the flames inside the fireplace reflecting in her pupils.

Not saying anything, Severus waited until she was ready to continue. He had learnt a long time ago that most people would eventually start talking again just to make the unpleasant taciturnity go away.

“Every single year, during the height of Quidditch season, I barely get to see all three of them. But did I ever complain? No! I have always understood that that’s their passion. I have always put their needs and wants before mine. I come to every single one of their games to support them, to cheer them on – yet they complain whenever I ask them to join me for a study session at the library. But then as soon as exams roll around, I’m suddenly in high demand again …”

Barely holding back tears, her whole body began to shake, and there was nothing that Severus wanted to do more than to close the short distance between them, to hold her and calm her down like he had done that one night in his office. But he forced himself to stay put.

“I don’t even know how many assignments I have helped them with over the years. You better don’t believe that even half of the essays they have submitted to you were actually written by them. I normally take academic integrity really seriously, but shit!” Severus’ eyebrows shot up in surprise at her use of a curse word. “Ron and Harry wouldn’t even have made it past first year if I hadn’t helped them. I pretty much pushed them through six years of schooling myself, and this is the thanks I get? THEY DIDN’T EVEN CARE ENOUGH TO SPEND TIME WITH ME ON MY BIRTHDAY, BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE QUIDDITCH IS MORE IMPORTANT! DID I SAY ANYTHING BACK THEN?!”

The petite woman was screaming at this point.

“Do they think I enjoyed being pushed to the centre of a bloody war just because I was friends with The Boy Who Lived? Do they think I enjoyed putting my life on the line every single day starting when I was still just a child? Time after time, I saved their asses from certain death, and now that the war is over, now that I do not have to worry about that shit anymore, they get mad at me for finally doing what I enjoy?!” By now, her face was covered in tears. “How dare they fuck me over like this! HOW DARE THEY! It’s like our friendship only exists on their terms. So what if I fucking missed lunch with them? Oh yeah, because that totally cancels out the time I got FUCKING TORTURED by that bitch Lestrange; when I was almost killed but did not say a single fucking word because I had to protect them!”

Granger let out an agonised whimper as she grabbed the left sleeve of her jumper and yanked it up, revealing a horrific sight: there, on the inside of her forearm, the word MUDBLOOD was carved into her delicate flesh over and over again, marking her from her wrist all the way up to the crook of her arm. The cuts – the dozens of them that were there – must have been extremely deep, as each dark red letter was elevated noticeably from her pale skin.

Without thinking, Severus jumped out of his seat. He was by his beloved’s side in no time.

“Bellatrix,” he hissed under his breath. The witch was lucky that she was already dead, because he certainly would not have been nice to her – not after seeing this. Kneeling next to the weeping girl, he carefully held her fragile arm in his wiry hands as he nonverbally cast different diagnostic spells.

“Why have I never seen this before?!” He had known that Granger had briefly fallen into enemy hands during the final battle; but no one, neither the Order nor the Dark Lord, had ever mentioned that torture had taken place. He could feel himself get angrier by the second. “Albus should have told me!”

Granger would not meet his gaze. “I don’t think he knows. Nobody knows. I usually cover it up with a charm.”

The anguish in her voice made his heart ache.

“This looks bad,” he whispered, even as everything inside him screamed to go on a murderous rampage. “But I am sure it could be fixed. We could try an ointment, maybe a potion. If you’d just give me enough time to come up with –“

“No,” she cut him off, pulling back her arm and covering up the marks with her sleeve again. “It’s of no use. She used some type of ancient pure-blood curse so it would never go away. Trust me, I’ve tried everything.”

Severus was taken aback by the sudden lack of emotion in her voice.

“I’ll just have to live with it. It’s a daily reminder of my real place in the wizarding world … a daily reminder of how worthless the blood running through my veins really is.”

Hopelessly despaired, Severus wanted to say something – anything – to the contrary and was desperately searching for the right words. But in the end, he stopped himself; nothing he could possibly say right now would make this situation any better. He had seen his fair share of magical injuries over the years, but this was definitely one of the worst. If Granger was right – if this had really been an ancient curse – then there was nothing he or anyone else could do. The fact that she was able to cover it up when needed was already incredible and showed just how unbelievably capable she truly was.

Still wanting to comfort his little witch and show sympathy somehow, he found himself reaching out and carefully placing his hand on hers. He heard her draw a sharp breath upon contact, and for a split second, he was afraid that she would pull away from him. But then, ever so lightly, she squeezed his fingers.

They stayed in that position for a very long time, holding hands in silence as they watched the fire slowly burn out. It was not until there was only a handful of dying embers left that he spoke up again, having to clear his throat first after not saying anything in so long.

“I know that nothing could ever possibly replace your friends, but if you want to then you can come here anytime you wish. I have a lot of books that I am sure you would enjoy, and if you ever don’t feel like eating in the Great Hall, the house elves do offer rather good room service. And they are very much discreet at that, too.” His heart was beating so fast and loud that he was sure all of Scotland could hear. “I wouldn’t really mind your company either. After all, you do seem to be the only person in the entire castle that is able to hold an intellectually stimulating conversation for longer than five minutes.”

For the first time tonight, he saw the corners of her mouth lift a little.

“I’d love that,” she said softly.

Severus could not stop himself from grinning back at her.

“Great!” he exclaimed without a care in the world about whether he sounded just a little bit too enthusiastic in that moment. “Then let me just quickly jot down the password for you.”

“A-are you sure? I mean, I could just knock!”

Severus chuckled at her shocked expression as he stood up and walked over to his secretary desk.

“I think your position as Head Girl proves that you are more than trustworthy. As long as you promise me that you are over your ‘breaking in and stealing from other people’s private stocks’ phase from five years ago, I think that we should be just fine.”

Granger’s face instantly mottled crimson.

“You know that was me?” she whispered, positively mortified.

“You were sitting in the Hospital Wing a half-human half-cat. It did not take a genius to connect the dots. Besides, who do you think brewed you the antidote?”

“Oh god! Sir, I am so, so sorry! I –“

“It’s all right. Here,” he said, handing her a small piece of paper. “Come and go as you wish. Even when I am not here.”

“I, I –“ Severus could not help it – the mean professor inside him still for some reason enjoyed seeing a student stammer helplessly right in front of him. “I don’t even know what to say, sir. Thank you so much. For your kind offer and for letting me get it all out. I appreciate it, really!”

An hour later, as he laid alone in bed, Severus could only think of one thing: he never knew that Granger could swear like that.

(Click here for chapter 17!)

[trulycertain]

Thoughts on the Netflix Witcher:

Not many people are tossing a coin to their Witcher, are they? Geralt still has to buy his own drinks, it seems.

Jaskier’s lyrics need, er, work, but Joey Batey has a lovely voice. 

Love the wardrobe design, Yen’s in particular. It’s distinctive, not always “pretty” in that it sometimes feels like medieval experimental haute couture, and combines sexuality with hard lines. It feels very her.

I love Freya Allan’s Ciri. Allan’s a really good actress, in my opinion, with a really hard arc to carry, and also apparently show!Ciri has the same effect as games!Ciri - that of me turning into Geralt and muttering “must protect” a lot and wanting to stab anyone who tries to hurt her. Her eyes are very cool.

I think it's interesting that in the books, Yen is clearly based off Polish archetypes and the wild raven curls are part of that; in both the games and the show, it's played down. (Not least because I've seen her in other stuff and Chalotra naturally has pretty poker-straight hair, so curling that for any length of time without the curls falling out, even with a ton of product, would be a pain.) 

My one issue is that I still think she looks a bit young and I would've been perfectly happy to chuck out the whole "sorceresses enchant themselves to look early twenties forever" thing, but actually... I also kind of really like the "soft-faced, soft-voiced enchantress is actually hard as nails" idea. It lets her presence speak for itself, which Chalotra does very well, and means people tend to underestimate Yen, which is also handy. I mean... I will always be frustrated by “somehow, conveniently, they look like a 22-year-old actress and a 35-or-so leading man”, but Chalotra’s work itself is good. It's different from the Yen in my head, but I like her performance and interpretation.

I like Triss, and I like seeing her here. I hope they’ll go more into their friendship. It’s been rocky at times, but I found it quite annoying how the games treated all that, as opposed to the books. This is one of those things where I’m really glad it’s adapting the books in particular.

Critical stuff, written in December, with warnings for discussions of consent and stuff:

The Last Wish is the short story where Geralt and Yen meet, with the capture of the djinn. I read it once, coming up for four years ago? now, so I'm really muzzy on memories and it might well have been like that originally. Now, knowing Sapkowski, who does pull this shit, it probably was. (I love his female characters as characters. It’s just that often, his gender worldbuilding bothers me. The two shouldn’t be different, but they often are.)

All right, so the sexual dynamics going on are... uncomfortable, and perhaps you get a bit inured to it in the books because there's just so much uncomfortable stuff, but it stands out a bit more starkly in the show, which has been better for it. (I do not like rapey canons. At all. I have no idea how I got into the Witcher; really liking the female mains and liking Slavic mythology? And the fact that the games and show were pretty good with how they treated it as part of someone's story rather than a "haha, look, so titillating" on-screen scene? And certainly, Calanthe and her people killing themselves to avoid enslavement, torture and rape is depressingly historically accurate. Anyway.) 

Things I'm bothered by:

The implication that the orgy is basically sex pollen/a possible humiliation tactic, rather than her manouvering her way into circles with everyone's embarrassing secret being "we like to willingly fuck the whole village," which would also have been political humiliation. I mean, you can make a point that she's had a background of being sexually and romantically manipulated most of her adult life - look at the Istredd thing, for a start, with the rectors - and is just shrug about it all, but. It's different from Stregobor's  illusion because these are real people. They all look like they've just come out of a trance and scrabble panickedly for clothes and their reputations, they look like didn't know quite where they were, and spells for that kind of thing had been established an ep or two earlier in the series.

So the first time Geralt and Yen meet, we've got non-con sex played for laughs, or at least played off as "yeah, she does that, don't worry about it" (which is fed into by Geralt's later enchantment, which I actually don't mind, humiliating him and then sending him to hang because he's in the way is somehow less objectionable to me? Maybe because i just hate non-con storylines that much, or maybe because it's less of a direct attack). And then when they meet, you've got: strong-arming him into a bath (sure, he says yes and I guess you can say he figured there'd be sex, but he seems surprised about it all), getting naked in front of him when he's already in a position where it'd be difficult/awkward to leave, the first kiss which has a pretext but was very specifically a kiss and which again, he's kind of too taken-aback/assessing to reciprocate... I mean, if all this sounds kind of OK, swap the genders; heck, even watching it at the time, some of it was pinging me as "hey, this sounds too much like rl things that have happened". 

Now, one can say, "Well, he stuck around, didn't he?" - hmm, OK, but you've got the trickier things of magical intimidation at play (even before the enchantment, he knows he's dealing with a powerful sorceress who fucks with people's heads) and just "eh, I guess I'll go with the flow" that can kind of characterise Geralt. And even Witchers freeze. And you can say, "Well, she could probably tell he was attracted to her, with magical mojo if not just through observation." Aye, but dude was kinda busy and on-duty and clearly mistrustful of her, so he would probably never have acted on it - and didn't, because of all those factors. The later thank-god-we're-alive/angry sex when they actually get it together? Totally fine with that, that seems about par for the course with those two.

I also feel like the fact that Geralt, who I fondly say is the biggest horndog in Temeria a lot of the time and will rarely turn down a bit of afternoon delight, doesn't make a move and stays questioning her, albeit amusedly, says a lot about where their relationship is at that point and the fact he's still trying to figure her out. (Not that that implies he's not interested; quite the opposite, mistrustful boffing is kind of a thing he does at times, and heck, look at Renfri.) And on Yen's part, it's definitely more of a power play than needing to save bathwater (I mean, she's pretty rich). 

Now, as said, the original story was prob at least a bit like this, because Sapkowski *eyeroll*, but considering the amount they changed (Istredd's entire backstory! A whole bunch of Yen’s! Yennefer's transformation! A bunch of other things), they could've probably adjusted this and/or at least put a different lens on it in the script. It's also frustrating because a lot of people I've seen make this argument are using it for "Yen is such a bitch, Geralt deserves better, I hate her." I'm not interested in char-bashing.  No, I love games!Yen (one of my favourite characters in... anything) and what of books!Yen I've read, and I really enjoy Chalotra's version... aside from these scenes. 

And aye, one can say that Geralt/Yen is about two people who've been shaped by a truly awful world learning to be better and of course they have their flaws (uh, completely ignoring consent is a pretty darn large one), but it's definitely played as intriguing/romantic/casual mischief. 

Update, as of January, when I went back to it:

I literally love every single other scene with her. Hmm. Also, I’ve spoken to a couple of people about this, and neither one of them had it ping to them as coercion. Perhaps I’m just overthinking things or not being good at romance storylines again.  Just... not sure, I guess. Nothing else bothered me. Is this my books knowledge being wonky? Am I being daft? If anyone else has thoughts, I’d be glad to hear them.

[peggytheheadsmasher]

Casper, Marcello, Cirillo, Antonio, Camilla, Owen, Lewis

EMBERS WHY SO MANY IN THE SAME ASK

Full Name: Casper Lucas MckinleyGender: He’s a ManEthnicity/Species: Irish-American DragonBirthplace and Birthdate: New York City probablyGuilty Pleasures: Cartoons and comics. he Loves themPhobias: he’s Claustrophobic and scared of deep waterWhat They Would Be Famous For: Trick drivingWhat They Would Get Arrested For:Faking his death, Get away driving, Acting as a hitter, Con Artist,,,,,OC You Ship Them With: Melissa OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Adam HossfordFavorite Movie/Book Genre: can’t go wrong with mystery or action adventureLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Detectives Must be heavy Drinkers and DepressedTalents and/or Powers: He’s excellent with cars- driving them and repairing them. he’s also good at whittling, and reading peopleWhy Someone Might Love Them: He’s chipper and open and just a kind guyWhy Someone Might Hate Them: he’s sarcastic and can get violent and he’s not honest all the timeHow They Change: he,,, doesn’t change much through Conman Concerns tbh? he becomes more honest and less PossessiveWhy You Love Them:he loves Portia so dang much and is So extremely defensive of his loved ones and even though awful things happen to him he doesn’t let it make him bitterFull Name: Marcello “Sawbones” CalzoneGender: Grumpy ManEthnicity/Species: Italian-American Bull Shark FintalianBirthplace and Birthdate: in conman concerns: Somewhere in Italy, November 4th. idk about KethanisGuilty Pleasures: heck man i don’t knowPhobias: losing familyWhat They Would Be Famous For: Doctor with Most Amount of Weapons on himWhat They Would Get Arrested For: CC: Mafia Ties, PaG: PiracyOC You Ship Them With: Annette OC Most Likely To Murder Them: An O’DonnellFavorite Movie/Book Genre: i can see him enjoying thrillers Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: “hero wakes up in hospital and rips their iv out” Talents and/or Powers: Excellent Doctor, surgeon, and fighter. Why Someone Might Love Them: he’s a grumpy man with a heart of gold and because he’s attractive according to youWhy Someone Might Hate Them: he’s gruff and barely shows anything more than thatHow They Change: opens up to be slightly more of a jokester, but secretlyWhy You Love Them: bc he’s a grumpy man with a heart of gold and a hidden sense of humor and also bc he has several hidden weapons on or around him at any given timeFull Name: Cirillo Andrea CalzoneGender: salty boyEthnicity/Species: Italian- American Great White FintalianBirthplace and Birthdate: Boston Massachusets, March 17thGuilty Pleasures: having wholesome fun with his Friend except for when its watching disney princess filmsPhobias: Emetophobia What They Would Be Famous For: Worlds most Pretentious Jerk AwardWhat They Would Get Arrested For: Mafia TiesOC You Ship Them With: I ship him with a Time Out and Character DevelopmentOC Most Likely To Murder Them: O’Donnell mob, potentially Casper Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Thriller, horror, actionLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Jump scares, Using children as monstersTalents and/or Powers: Being a Massive jerk, literary analysisWhy Someone Might Love Them: his potential for growthWhy Someone Might Hate Them: He’s an obnoxious flirt, he’s petty, violent, rude, pretentious, envious, thinks he’s better than other people because he’s smart, has laughed at a relatives near-death experiences, and mocked him about how injury prone he is relentlesslyHow They Change: he stops being as bitter about his cousin and apologizes for it.Why You Love Them: he Eventually becomes a nicer person but frankly i don’t love him he’s an awful personFull Name: Antonio Flavius CalzoneGender: a BoyyyyEthnicity/Species: Italian Tiger Shark FintalianBirthplace and Birthdate: Italy, May 13thGuilty Pleasures: he enjoys driving through the city on his VespaPhobias: Death, drowning, death of family or friendsWhat They Would Be Famous For: Being a young Don of the MafiaWhat They Would Get Arrested For: Mafia Stuff, Illegal Intelligence GatheringOC You Ship Them With: NyraOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Seamus O’DonnellFavorite Movie/Book Genre: Action, Adventure, Romance... anything reallyLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: “we have a ritual/magic item the requires blood? time to just Gash open my palm with a knife”Talents and/or Powers: Flower arrangement, flower language knowledge, hand to hand combat, Bold Tribal-style tattooingWhy Someone Might Love Them: he’s cheerful and loves his family and he runs a FLOWER SHOP what’s not to love. Why Someone Might Hate Them: he’s injured all the time, stiff and over-formal, insecure, easily flustered, and overworks himselfHow They Change: doubts himself less, becomes more responsibleWhy You Love Them:  he’s formal and awkward but when he warms up to you he’ll get into a good banter with youalso his design is just funFull Name: Camilla CalzoneGender: Lovely ladyEthnicity/Species: Italian Great White FintalianBirthplace and Birthdate: Italy, and idk tbhGuilty Pleasures: Soap Operas and Penny DreadfulsPhobias: loss of her childrenWhat They Would Be Famous For: you know that John Mulaney Bit about the Cool Mom Realtor ? that’s her. also her cooking is ExcellentWhat They Would Get Arrested For: CC: Mafia stuff, PaG: PiracyOC You Ship Them With: AugustoOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Magnus, or an O’DonnellFavorite Movie/Book Genre: Romance, bonus points if it’s period drama romance Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: the “not like other girls” or actively scornful of femininity heroine Talents and/or Powers: She’s an Amazing cook and she’s not at all shabby in a fight. also good at information gatheringWhy Someone Might Love Them: She’s just a Really Sweet mom character who loves kids so muchWhy Someone Might Hate Them: she’s very Steroetypically a Mom characterHow They Change: she doesn’t really change much,,, i guess in Pulling a Galloway she becomes a bit more mature?Why You Love Them: she’s a good sweet supportive mom who is trying her best to take care of like,,, 27 childrenFull Name: Owen [doesn’t have a last name yet]Gender: tall manEthnicity/Species: He’s an ElfBirthplace and Birthdate: LemonbayGuilty Pleasures: cheesy Penny DreadfulsPhobias: he doesn’t like the darkWhat They Would Be Famous For: Being Lemonbay’s Mayor+sheriff and also a Well Renowned adventurer!What They Would Get Arrested For: ?? nothing???OC You Ship Them With: HypatiaOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Idk he’s fought many evil creatures, monsters, and peopleFavorite Movie/Book Genre: Adventure!Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Every Hero has a Tragic BackstoryTalents and/or Powers: He’s an excellent shot, and has nice interior design tasteWhy Someone Might Love Them: He’s honest and Lawful Good and helpful and willing to help Anyone out. forgives easily and is very much the Responsible dad friendWhy Someone Might Hate Them: he overthinks Everything and worries about So Much stuff and,,, marksman elf can be a clicheHow They Change: he chills out from being an adventurous hothead to being a responsible but passionate mayorWhy You Love Them: He’s such a sweetheart that wants to help Everybody and even though he overthinks he never gets to a point of expecting the absolute worst of people and will give anyone a second chanceFull Name: Louis AdelardGender: Short ManEthnicity/Species: He’s a Halfling!Birthplace and Birthdate: Lemonbay and idkGuilty Pleasures: Awful Jokes. he Loves awful jokesPhobias: SuffocationWhat They Would Be Famous For: Being a great storyteller and AdventurerWhat They Would Get Arrested For: Being Too GoodOC You Ship Them With: No one!OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Like Owen he has fought many evil things, some who may want revengeFavorite Movie/Book Genre: AdventureLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: dramatic reveal of a close friend betraying the protagTalents and/or Powers: he’s crafty and a fantastic storytellerWhy Someone Might Love Them: He’s charismatic and bright and cheerful and sweetWhy Someone Might Hate Them: he doesn’t have much depth of characterHow They Change: goes from impulsive to a bit more carefulWhy You Love Them:,,, he’s charismatic and goofy and his design is cute and he’s very much a Dad Friend who loves his friends Very much

[plush-anon]

Well, I just accidentally read a major, MAJOR spoiler for Thor: Ragnarok

It was in a movie review article with no warnings for spoilers (and the rest of the article is, for all that’s it’s worth, spoiler-free - everything there is mentioned in the trailers and clips currently released) - but MY GODS, is it a BIG one.

Imma put it under a Read More cut, along with the link to the supposed spoiler-free review, but it’s gonna piss off some of the Thor theorists (bc it sure as hell does for me).

Mainly because the spoiler has to do with Hela - and what her tie to the Royal Family of Asgard (Loki included) is.

WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT FOR THOR: RAGNAROK. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. YOU HAVE BEEN FAR MORE WARNED THAN I WAS.

To start, here’s the link to the movie review from Variety that has the spoiler slipped in ever so slyly. Nothing else is spoiled except for a few minor location names that have nothing to do with the comics and are easter eggs at the most. Also, (minor spoiler) apparently Odin has been doing oceanfront yoga on Earth while he’s been banished. I find that kinda funny, actually.

But here’s the reason for the Read More cut:

Hela is Thor’s OLDER SISTER.

Let me repeat that. She is his freaking SISTER.

Well, fuck.

This irritates me for a number of reasons (mainly because it was a spoiler slipped into an article not marked as such, as is per custom nowadays in online articles discussing film). It feels so much like it will end up as a rehashing of some of Loki’s plotlines, which is REALLY unfortunate for such a cool villain character AND for the films themselves.

Not to mention, looking at some of the theories I’ve seen, it’s... rather an incredible let down.

The two theories I’ve seen the most of that could have tied Hela in here really, REALLY well were: Hela as Odin’s sister (which fits, given that she’s apparently been locked away for 5000 years? according to some sources) OR Hela as Loki’s birth mother. Both have a really unique opportunity to dig into the characters and peel back some really cool layers.

We could have seen or learned more about Odin and what made him who he is now, along with some very nice parallels to Thor and Loki now, and what they could easily fall into repeating their father’s (and aunt’s) mistakes. It could also explain a little bit of the motivation behind why Odin was such a crap dad to Loki - he saw the similarities to his sister, and didn’t want his flesh-and-blood son to go through the same thing, so he was a dick parent. It doesn’t make it acceptable by any means, but it does explain some of his actions, and shines a new light on his motivations behind them, making for some really interesting storytelling. It also could have had some really cool parallels to Norse Mythology in having Hela take Loki’s place as the sibling of Odin. It could have been fantastically nuanced. It also could explain her insistence on taking over the throne of Asgard/destroying it - it’s a place that’s caused her a similar type of turmoil that it has Loki. Want and hatred, anger and indifference.

On the other hand, there’s the ‘Hela as Loki’s mother’ theory, which could have forced some intense introspection on Frigga’s place in Loki’s life (and maybe even brought her back for flashbacks why yes I AM still bitter that they killed her off in Thor 2 why do you ask). Loki could see not only where he got his magic from, but also see how far she fell in isolation, in seeking revenge (for banishment, perhaps? If she was paired with Laufey, and she was originally an Asgardian, she could have been banished as a traitor to Asgard for siding with Jotunheimr in the war, but still fought to escape and cause trouble for a realm she’s come to despise for a number of reasons - her family origin, her magic, anything could be put in here really) - which could feasibly cause a change in heart and an increased effort to try to make things right again. Also, there would have been some really cool moments where she escapes after she offers to bring Frigga back to life, then casually reveals in her escape ‘Why are you so upset? I brought your mother back to life - and here I am.’  It also would have made for some fantastic drama between Hela, Loki, and VALKYRIE, given what happened to Valkyrie the last time she faced Hela in battle. Meanwhile, Loki is still fighting with the fact that he is now face-to-face with his birth mother, and all the internal conflict THAT would entail.

Or, you know... could have been both. Hela as Odin’s sister AND Loki’s mother. Combine everything together. Buuuuuut I recognize that that could be a LOT to shove into a movie at once, so I would have been happy with just one of these.

But nope. Hela is Thor’s older sister (which makes no freaking sense, but okay, was she imprisoned in time, did she steal and lose Dr Strange’s Time Stone, what’s going on here movie).

I just... the more I see of this movie in tidbits and trailers, the more I think I’m going to end up hating it. Which is a shame, because Taika Watiti is a fantastic director (and I think Sakaar is beautifully designed, Jeff Goldblum’s casting is spot-on). But looking at what’s come out so far, and looking at what I keep hearing about what they’ll do to the REALLY WELL LAID OUT characterization (the movies may not be great as overall movies / movie experiences, but by gods are they FANTASTIC at character exploration and character building, at emotional nuance and connection) - I’m just... worried.

Hell, even the article I posted the link to references its “self-deprecating tone” as MAD Magazine, and even says that it arrives as “a (parody) of itself”. It also mentions that they travel through a wormhole from Sakaar to what the Grandmaster calls “Ass-gard” that is named (and no, I really DO wish I was joking, but this is true) The Devil’s Anus.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still go see it. I’ll buy a ticket and watch it and laugh at all the funny bits that are in the trailers out now. Maybe I’ll end up pleasantly surprised and it will end up fairly well balanced, all things considered. But right now, given what I’ve been seeing, I think it’s going to do some very, VERY unpopular things with the characters we adore, all for the sake of a quick laugh.

I’m probably overthinking this. This will likely also not be a popular opinion for some people - if only because I actually really like the the first two Thor movies for their setting, their Shakespeare-ish atmosphere that pairs really well to Asgard and the characters in general IMO. Maybe it’s the fact that we had the time and passion to really dig in and create some really fantastic character analyses that would have clashed with anything else. Either way, I think it will be a fun movie that crushes a lot of fan theories and images and characterizations, and will lead to an extreme degree of reimagining what the film could have done if you didn’t have to shoe-horn in so many other MCU people (*cough cough* Doctor Strange for one *hack wheeze*) - maybe even stripping it down to the core plot synopsis and building anew from there - or focused more on the characters and how they weave and play off of each other. That’s always been the strength of the Thor movies - how the characters interact, how they move and breath and fight in each other’s spaces. The story may not always be the greatest, but we watch for the characters anyway, and how they’ll build on each other and evolve next. (It’s why people love to pick apart and look at the characters in Captain America Civil War, but if we’re completely honest, the majority of the plot is a swiss cheese mess of holes).

*looks up at wall of text* Goodness me, off I’ve gone again. Didn’t expect that, but here we are. If you chanced beyond the line hope you got something out of reading this bleh. I’m just here, venting at fictional characters.

[julystorms]

I blame @goodguyjean for this since we were talking about AUs last night, but I was thinking about modern AUs today: specifically how many of them just...fall flat to me. Like in theory they sound easy and fun to write! But you’re transplanting characters into a completely different world, man. You can’t just give them your own interests and let ‘em go??? And I mean, people write these adorable “how they met” stories but none of the characters ever seem to be in character; it’s like the scenario just seems cute so people use it regardless as to whether or not the characters would actually do those things/say that stuff/et cetera.

And of course if you’re writing a long’fic, you have to consider the ramifications of the choices you’ve made, of the lives you’ve plunked the characters down into. Which sometimes means amazing fanfiction but usually means the entire premise the author started with falls on its goddamned face.

I mean you can write artist!Jean! It’s not implausible! But he has to actually feel like Jean. This is one of the reasons businessman!Levi doesn’t jive with me. I can’t see it? I’ve always seen him working lower-profile jobs like being on the janitorial staff somewhere. He’s not the kind of person who wants to be in the limelight. Levi can’t feel like Levi if he’s spiffily dressed with a gold pocketwatch--not unless he’s undercover for some reason (and probably doing a mediocre job of it, tbh). Businessman!Mike makes me kind of uncomfortable, too. He’s another character who doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who would do well in that kind of a position, not generally speaking, anyway. This is YMMV material though, since his character is only barely established and I see him as a very hands-on person: construction, maybe engineering, plumber, carpenter, roofing, et cetera. I think in some situations I could be sold on Mike as a businessman if he’s in a position that makes sense to his character, where he doesn’t have to talk overmuch and mingle for pleasure with random people--and also it works a little better if it’s a job Erwin secured for him via Connections. That said, I think fandom tends to think only skin-deep regarding the characters. Well, Mike’s 6′5′’ and imposing looking, so of course he’d look sharp in a suit! Well...yes. And he’d be a great bouncer. And various other things. But would he actually take a job like that? And what kind of childhood did he have? Teenage years? What kind of personality is he in possession of? Is it one suited for this kind of work or would he lose his job/credibility quickly? 

Fandom likes to dump things like careers and living situations on characters in modern settings without bothering to think about what makes sense for the characters and their finances. Hitch in fashionable clothes only makes sense if she has the means to access this stuff: a really good job? Upper middle class parents? She can sew her own? Like she might seem like the sort of character who wants to look fashionable but that doesn’t mean her upbringing and history and current situation really allow for it. You know?

Like everyone wants to write Petra as a kindergarten teacher, and it’s not that the idea doesn’t work at all: she looks the part and she would be so kind to the kids! It’s that fandom does it because she’s kind of small and she’s a woman and she looks like a kindergarten teacher. Everyone expects it? But it only fits if it’s something she’s extremely passionate about, if it challenges her mind--like she teaches for an inner-city school and she feels needed and necessary and like she’s making a big difference. She’s passionate about trying to get these kids the education they deserve and need, about bringing her own supplies in with money she doesn’t really have, just so that they can have that. Bringing in snacks on her own dime for the little ones who don’t always get enough at home so that they can focus on learning so they can move up in the world. Petra teaching at a ritzy private school doesn’t...work. Not for her character. She’s not that kind of person. It doesn’t fit. She’s more a nosy journalist than a comfortable teacher. She needs to be challenged by her work in a good way.

And I mean, I’m all about turning fandom’s expectations for an AU upside-down, but those have to work, too. Gelgar as a chef of a like greasy spoon sorta place. Nanaba as an editor or college professor. Jean as a police officer. Marco in law. Henning the UPS guy. Nifa a professional volleyball player. Mikasa in accounting. Sasha doing data entry. Eren into programming. Mike as a nurse in a nursing home.

People seem to have very specific ideas of the kinds of jobs that are available in the world, and everyone dives after “generic businessman” because it’s just...easy to be really vague about? Bro, I am not about that life and very few people end up in that kind of a position. Lots of people do CSR work for years and if you can stick that out and get promoted, you’ll probably have an easy job that pays pretty darn well compared to the work you have to put in. There’s no shame in people who manage chain restaurants or supervise second shift in a factory. In fact, those are the kinds of jobs most people end up in. Why not your characters, too? I never imagined I’d end up where I am. There were so many jobs people easily saw me in (teaching, police work, SaHM, veterinary medicine, fitness) and what I ended up doing, in order, was: fast food, factory work, HR assistant/receptionist, CSR, writing/analysis tutor, and billing.

I guess...nothing pulls me out of an AU faster than characters who all seem to have high-end jobs they ended up in...by like...some kind of magic? For most jobs there’s schooling, apprenticeships... And even then there’s a ladder to climb. Grades can and do matter in competitive fields. Grades in difficult fields tend to be lower (electrical engineering vs. the liberal arts) and in fields where positions need filled, they hardly matter so long as you get a degree.

Even if they already have the job, I want to see the journey somehow. I don’t want to read a story where it feels like the characters were magically granted their positions as CEOs of some big-wig company.

So like, artist!Jean could be really, really fun to write. He could easily be a brutally honest traditional artist* who does oil paintings and really likes his field and is here for a degree, not to make it rich doing shows or making nice with the wealthy. Art can still be a passion for him. He’s just the sort of person who sees the world as it is and knows how competitive the field is and doesn’t want to struggle for years on the off-chance that he will get established. He’d rather get a boring 9-5 and come home to spend his free time doing art. It stays fun that way; he remains passionate about it. But his day job is like, data entry for a medical company.

Anyway this didn’t have a point to it except to say that I really wish I could enjoy AUs more. It’s just hard for me because I tend to overthink things? Like, to expand a little more, you’re at your job more than you’re at home talking to your significant other before bed, usually. You spend a lot of time there. And lots of people work in unexpected fields but like, their reaction to working in a career that doesn’t fit them needs to actually exist. Maybe Mike is a businessman and hates it or is super uncomfortable in that position because he’s not very good with Words and can’t keep up with the kind of snide office shenanigans that other characters like Erwin might thrive on or find a welcome challenge. He’s still doing it, though, for [insert reason here like he has a kid to support/bills to pay/he failed at doing something else and is afraid of instability]. Mike as a person who relies on people understanding him without him needing to say much wouldn’t do very well in an environment that requires him to talk a lot and be clear and concise. He probably knows this isn’t a good fit for him, it probably makes him anxious, but man what do you do if you have a kid at home depending on you? A mortgage?

Or maybe you have Historia as a pianist but HAHA SURPRISE she actually sucks?? And the support she’s receiving is like...totally unfounded...

And then artist!Jean who works doing data entry for a medical company as mentioned above. He thinks it’s boring AF and he really wants to kick Eren, the company’s programmer, into the dirt for not putting out fixes fast enough for issues in the software he designed... But overall he’s pretty okay with his job because it gives him the money to buy art supplies and pay rent on an apartment that has an extra bedroom--one he uses specifically for his art. He has no splendorous dreams for himself; he doesn’t see his job as “just temporary”; he just lives his life the best way he knows how and the story that’s being told around this backdrop takes into account the fact that he has a job and a hobby that take up a lot of his time.

Because like, people aren’t their jobs...but they do take up a large part of their day. In a romance I don’t need a play-by-play of every single day of work, ‘cause Eren staring at code for 37 pages doesn’t seem like much fun to write or read...but as a writer who is in Eren’s head, you can’t really escape the fact that work is a huge part of his life and probably who he is--to the extent, anyway, that that huge bug fix that needs to be done by Monday? Is something he can’t...escape from. He’s thinking about it all weekend. Even if he doesn’t want to. Because it’s a big part of the life he lives. Even if romance is the focus of the story and the plot, when you forget to include these kinds of things the characters tend to feel ... kind of hollow. Like they couldn’t possibly exist as people because they never seem to be at work or never think about work or don’t really seem to have any real hobbies or interests that don’t move the plot...?

Anyway idk where I was going with this lmao. I love AUs but so many of them just don’t work for me. I’m probably just weird though. :P

*this is basically my brother so i could write this convincingly lmao and lemme tell you what there are a lot of people majoring in art who can’t stand criticism i can practically HEAR critique circles with jean in them as i type this!!

[kiribbeanplays-blog]

Character Critiques - Venonat Family

Two adorable bugs in a row?!

How has Game Freak managed to steal my heart so well with bugs? I’m someone who can admire insects, but overall feel rather squeamish around them.

But once again, Venonat is another one of those Pokémon I would be willing to hug… so long as I don’t think about the fact it can toss around Poison Powder. Game Freak really loved to attach the Poison typing to their early insects without going into detail as to why.

Venonat’s cuteness comes from the fact it’s 99% fluff. Just a big, fuzzy ball of fur on tiny legs. Personally, I find its compounded eyes don’t actually sour its adorableness. I love that Game Freak went with an anatomically realistic approach, but with a pleasant cartoony spin.

While I’m still talking about what makes Venonat cute, I want to bring up the smaller details I feel are icing on the cake. I adore its impractically small hands and giant antennae. I love that only three simple shapes comprise its mandibles and make them look far cuter than they should be.

And I can’t get enough of its color pallette. That purple is among the most royal and gorgeous shades my eyes can interpret. All the other colors that comprise Venonat’s pallette are positively satisfying to look at.

It’s a shame that Venonat’s Pokédex entries are nowhere as extensive as my fangirling over its appearances. Aside from its eyes being able to shoot laser beams, it lives out a relatively normal existence hunting

insects.

However, that detail - or lack thereof - is something I find curious. The Pokédex doesn’t allude to any particular Pokémon that Venonat hunts after. It only hunts “insects.” Does it mean Venonat hunts any Bug-type Pokémon it can lay its mandibles on? Does that mean Pokémon live amongst regular, non-magical animals (similar to what the Animé did)?

Or am I just overthinking everything again and reading too much into biographies the size of Twitter posts?

Whatever the case, Venonat is a fluffy darling too precious for this world.

Venonat’s half-Poison typing becomes apparent once it becomes Venomoth, a giant moth that scatters deadly toxins with every flap of its wings.

But where did my little Venonat go? It doesn’t keep the large antennae, any of its fuzzy fur, or even the awesome red eyes. A giant moth monster is a given to have as a Pokémon, and I’m not against Venonat changing from one species of insect into another (besides, Game Freak likes to do that a lot anyways). Purely on the design level, I feel Venomoth comes completely out of left field.

Actually, remember in a previous article when I commented that Butterfree and Venonat seem to have the same face? It’s uncanny how many traits those two unrelated species share.

Was Butterfree meant to be Venomoth, but got switched at some point in development? It’s been a fan speculation for many years, but no information has ever been found to crack the mystery. For all we know, there isn’t even a mystery to begin with. Two similar-looking things don’t have to be connected to each other.

Even with the previous in mind, I still want to whine that Venomoth doesn’t fit as Venonat’s evolution. Can’t please everyone, I guess.

By itself, Venomoth isn’t an awful design, but it’s also easy for me to forget about. Since we’ve already looked at other flying insects like Butterfree and Beedrill, Venomoth just doesn’t feel as impressive. It’s not an absolutely “Plain Jane” design, but it’s also not rocking the boat and being terribly exciting, either.

Actually, reading its Pokédex entries only disappoints me that Game Freak didn’t take Venomoth’s design further. Apparently, the scales on Venomoth’s wings can change color to reflect what kind of toxin it’s producing. According to Silver Version, they’re a darker hue for poison, while lighter for paralysis.

This information opens up some interesting ideas. What if Venomoth’s typing was based on the color of its wings? Either each Venomoth form is static (like East/West Shellos and Gastrodon), or it could have an ability that changes its type on the fly while in battle. Why limit Venomoth’s scales to scattering just poison or paralysis? What if it could also use a burn-inducing powder?

If Venomoth still had Venonat’s laser-shooting eyes, what if it scattered its powder around and then shot at them to split the lasers into MORE lasers, like a prism does to a ray of light? What if that attack also had a 20-30% chance to apply a random status effect on the target Pokémon (poison, burn, paralysis, sleep, etc)? Heck, make this attack hit the entire battle field in a giant laser explosion, putting all other targets at risk for a random status condition.

(UGH, I really can't draw explosions...)

I hate when I ramble off ideas like that, because it makes me wish that Venomoth was so much more than it actually is.

Venomoth’s design isn’t terrible, but it plays it safe, and that’s what disappoints me. I wanted Venonat to evolve into something that’d knock my socks off.

[5hinexo-blog]

Under My Skin 2: The Reality

read on wattpad

word count: 2k

There was something off with Tae but you couldn't get a grip on what it was exactly. He's been weird for a few days, more than usual after a break up. Ever since he got separated from Ye-rim he was more than just absent, now that you think deeper about it. It was his thing to spend a lot of time in the practice room. He was never the lazy one. So why did you had this feeling like something was wrong even though nothing seemed to be? You had to talk to him soon. Not right now tho, you had something else to overthink.

Who was this Yoongi dude and why were you calling out his name in your sleep? A nap that was supposed to help you became a source of stress. Oh, how much you hated it! The only good thing of your day was ruined and now you were left with so many unanswered questions.

As a normal student you expected a break after the end of a semestrial project but no. Your classmates were out there somewhere, chilling, having good naps. And you were left here, alone, standing in front of Taemin's practice room with a huge headache because of the all nighter you pulled the other day.

Sigh.

Being a student was rough. At least before, you had Taemin to lean on but now, apparently, he had his own issues that he couldn't tell you about. Damn it.

'I will not let this ruin my day' you whisper to yourself as you start walking back to the park to read something since you had nothing else to do today.

Your phone starts ringing interrupting your introspective monologue. You answer it as soon as you hear it without even seeing who it is.

'Heya!' you try to sound cheerful to brighten up a little.

'Y/N!! What are you doing? I thought we were meeting at the cafeteria at 3 pm. We're all waiting for you. Move your ass here quickly or we're leaving without you.' Your classmate/friend Nara was shouting at the other end of the line closing the call as she finished her angry statements.

Fuck. You totally forgot about it! A simple 'let's go to the lake sometime' was instantly turned into a promise and now you had to go to some creepy lake in the middle of the day? In the middle of a bad day when you wanted nothing more but to sleep? Sure why not.

So you start to run to the cafeteria where they are waiting for you. Going without having anything packed up for this short trip is a bad move but you could at least try to have a good time. It was definitely a bad idea to skip lunch for a nap, the growls coming from your stomach were quite scary. Yet here you are rushing to go on a trip you didn't exactly desire to have.

Damn it. You're going to change today into a great day, you'll try to have fun with your schoolmates.

Even though you couldn't shake the weird feeling that was still inside your mind.

What's up with the lake? There was something quite bothering about it's history. Its been said that a long time ago, it was considered sacred because some angels and demons had wars on its surface leaving it be a neutral place, neither good or bad. It was also said that weird creatures were living inside, somewhere so deep in the dark waters where humans couldn't see anything. Well, it's not like that was the case because in reality, it was forbidden to swim in the lake. No one was allowed to even let the water touch their skin as it might cause severe damage and even death if they stayed long enough with the water on their skin. Visitors hours were from 11 am to 6 pm, being able to see the lake only while it was daytime.

When you were little you were so curious about why the poor lake was full of weird legends, but you didn't believe them at all. Something changed as you grew up and you didn't visit it at all after you heard someone died because they went swimming. Or at least so did the gossips say. Actually they never returned, nor was there a body found.

So many people had died ever since, but there wasn't a public reason as in why. Everyone kept quiet about the lake, only the tourists that were visiting it from time to time got close to it. The locals knew the truth. Most of them, anyway.

You shrug, feeling a cold shiver down your spine. Rule number one: don't get close to the lake. Rule number two: don't let anyone else get close to the lake.

You spot the cafeteria in the near distance. The loud music and the people singing send you positive energy, and you start to feel better. Maybe there was hope for you after all.

'Y/N!!!!!!!' Nada saw you already because of the red blouse she bought for you and now she was pointing her finger showing the others she found you.

She was with some of your schoolmates, but there were some unfamiliar faces as well. You wave at her, smiling, trying to put your shit together quickly before she starts questioning you in front of the strangers. Nada had a strong personality, a beautiful face and she was intelligent. She had it all and she knew how to use them.

'Be calm, chill' you whisper to yourself a part of your mantra as you get closer to them, still smiling, to leave a good first impression to the strangers.

Nada starts walking your way, welcoming you into her arms. A good hug will do its magic, you admit.

'Yah Nada, you missed me that much?'

'No, silly. You have your fake smile on so I'm trying to lend you a hand.'

'What?' You break the hug. She knows your smiles. Dangerous. 'I'm fine.'

'Sure babe, we'll talk.' She grins but she turns around to introduce you. 'Everyone who doesn't already know, this is the ever-late Y/N. Let's get going now, shall we?' She flips her ponytail over her shoulder and holds your hand, walking towards her car. 'I'll drive, you can do shotgun.'

Your mood instantly changes 180 degrees, with your eyes shining and all that. The good music was necessary to make this trip better. All this excitement was resourceful so your stomach starts growling again.

'Oopsie, sorry' you tell her and she laughs.

'I knew' she shows you the huge backpack that she was wearing. 'Food.'

'You know me too well' you start smiling.

'That's the Y/N I want to have with me today' she was honest, you begin to realise that she really wanted you to go with them.

'So who's everyone? I only recognize Ten, Kibum, Hoseok and Chanyeol.'

There were approximately 15 persons there, some still smoking in front of their cars, others searching for music on their phones. The 5 cars were aligned, ready to go.

'Well, those are the from the Music Masters Degree' she points with her chin the dark blue car, to your left. 'Some creepos in my opinion but Chanyeol insisted they should come, he said they're some childhood friends, so I had nothing to say against it.'

You analyze those men. They did seem creepy to you too. They were in their car, smoking something while looking at the sky, with all windows opened. There were 4 of them but no one was speaking. Weird.

'Then there's the music degree.' She does the same to the red car. 'Hoseok wanted them to come.' She shurgs. 'Then there's Key and the rest of the design major and Ten with some of his group members. Only Sunny and Seohyun will come from our class, the others were scared.'

'Shouldn't we hurry though? It's going to be 5 soon and we won't be able to see it. And by the way. Why are we going?'

'What? You're scared too? Come on, nothing can go wrong if you stay next to me. Trust me' she winks at you as she enters her car, starting the engine.

You take your time as you look at everyone else, each of them being in their own world.

'This is an interesting group to go on a journey with' you whisper to yourself and you sigh.

'Y/N!' Sunny comes your way accompanied by Seohyun.

'Girls! So glad you came! Nara is in such a good mood'

You all share a look. That means Nara is going to: do something stupid or make one of you do something stupid. There's no inbetween.

'All for one, huh?' Seohyun says laughing but she doesn't want to chat. She goes straight into the car and she starts talking to Nara.

Sunny hugs you. Both of you know it's going to be an interesting trip.

With everyone set up, you're on your way. The road is good and it only takes like 30 minutes to get there despite its location. The lake it's between the two mountains that surround the small city. You play 'Sober' by Big Bang as you're the one with the playlist for the road.

'So Sunny, what's up with you and Key? I've seen the looks he gave you when you arrived. Are you dating now?'

Sunny was one of the girls who could handle Nara's smart mouth.

'No Nara. Not everyone's dating or fucking. We just met at a party a few nights ago and we chat for a while. He seems nice, we really got along.'

'Ok, relax there a little your vein might pop up.' Seohyun was smiling too now. 'Just admit you've been flirting and we'll understand. You are allowed to feel things you know? Miss 'I only focus on uni, studying and working.'

'Nara, watch out!!' You shout as she almost hit the man that was crossing the street. He was most likely shocked, frozen in the middle of the road.

She stopped the car easily, luckily she slowed down the car while discussing Sunny's love life.

While you were all panicking, Nara was extremely angry. She went outside slamming the door.

The man was wearing an all black outfit, but because of the hoodie you couldn't see his face. He was really skinny and not that tall.

Nara approaches him and you see her posture changes while she talks to him. He slightly nods at her and both of them return to the car. You silence the music expecting Nora to introduce him to you but she just tells you to go  in the back of the car, leaving him stay in front with her. You do as she says, but something feels off again. Trying to get a glimpse of his face you turn around to see him, but he goes to the shutgun's place and you fail to see anything as you just go round the car at the same time.

After all that, she starts the car again, playing music so loud you can't talk anymore.

The drive feels eternal. When you see the parking lot you just can't contain yourself anymore. Who was this dude?

Nara parks the car and you rush out of the car to see who the man is. He comes your way too, lifting up his hoodie.

'Taemin?!'

A/N: the plot changed a little, I felt like the initial idea was headed to a more love oriented story and I don't really write that kind of stuff. But I know I know, Yoongi is the main male of this story. Trust me, you didn't want to meet him yet. He will make his big entrance in the next part don't worry too much. How do you feel about this chapter?  Please let me know! Any productive feedback is welcomed, I really want to be better at writing! Thank you for reading my story!

next part ->

[russellthornton]

What Do You Do for a Living? How to Answer It Like a Bestseller

What do you do for a living? Before you cringe over the question, let me show you how to make this question your best friend.

What do you do for a living? Those six words used to feel like a dissection into my being. A part of me pulled back like ‘did this person just ask me what I look like naked? Oh wait… no, no they didn’t actually.’ Yet, in my mind I heard something like that. Then I’d ask myself ‘why do I sound like an anxious teenage girl all of a sudden?’

Here’s why. For all of us, success is important. There can be a lot of pressure to win by friends, family, associates. And the more masculine you are, the more you measure your personal life success in terms of your livelihood quality, e.g. money earned, job satisfaction, status, impact. So…

What do you do for a living?

Quickly sounds like…

Tell me about your biggest dreams and goals in life and how much progress you’ve made or not made…

Followed by an innocent stare and rapid blinking by the question asker.

Most people are wary of this question

Your ‘living’ means what you do for work. How you earn a paycheck. But it obviously also has other subliminal questions attached to it. Such as:

#1 Do you actually work?

#2 How much do you earn?

#3 What kind of social importance and reach do you have?

#4 How independent are you?

#5 What phase of life are you in?

#6 How intelligent or skilled are you?

#7 How confident and happy are you about what you do?

#8 How ambitious are you?

Best ways to answer: What do you do for a living?

So, it truly is a beast of a question that quickly gives you a chance to shine or to reveal insecurities. Even if you love your job, you still might not want to boast about it. To compound things, these days many of us do multiple jobs to earn a living. So, if you haven’t taken the time to condense it all, the answer might not be obvious.

But at the core, if this question makes you cringe you probably haven’t given it proper consideration. Here’s what you want to consider to not stutter and look everywhere but at the person who asked the question…

#1 Embracing the spirit of networking. Say I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. We could skip the pleasantries, but then we’d just be dancing around the obvious. Your livelihood has a big impact on your life. And how you feel about what you do makes a difference in how you show up day-to-day. So, it’s important information in getting to know someone.

Get used to introducing yourself and talking about what you do. Roll with the conversational flow. Mostly, people just ask the question because they can’t think of something else more obvious to say. So, the less you treat it as a personal affront the better. [Read: Feeling stuck in life? How to change directions and live your dream]

#2 Considering what the question asker wants to know. If you meet someone new, they’re probably not asking you the question as if you were in a job interview.

They probably just want to get a flavor of what interests you or what you might know quite a bit about. Or to get a feel of your general life situation. Taking this perspective makes you feel less defensive or under pressure. [Read: Get to know who you really are with these 8 questions]

#3 Being realistically clear. You don’t have to use your formal job title. It’s more important to give them an accurate understanding of what sort of impact you make in your job. So, say you’re an ‘executive officer’ but your job mostly involves managing operations. In that case, saying ‘operations manager’ is a better title. It more accurately expresses your main functions.

#4 Working out what your brand is. In my opinion, knowing your brand forces you to work out your why.

a. Why do you do what you do?

b. Why does your work make you money?

c. Why does your job work for you?

Asking yourself these questions helps you capture that magic. This is important for you to know and live by, rather than to tell the person. [Read: The need for purpose in your life and what it can do for you]

#5 Condense your brand into one sentence. Short and sweet is best if it’s a casual encounter. Condense everything you do for a livelihood into one sentence. Focus it on the essence of what change you create each day. For example, an electrician might say ‘I have lots of interesting conversations each day and solve dangerous problems.’

#6 Making your answer open-ended and memorable. No one likes a boring story. Your personal brand should be something that starts a conversation, not a long script. Motivate the other person to excitement or curiosity.

For example, I might say ‘I’m a storytelling wiz–mostly freelance but focused on creating personal impact.’ I know most people have not come across many storytellers so naturally find it intriguing.

They may follow-up with something like ‘oh, what sort of stories do you write?’ This lets me add a bit more context and detail. But again, I’ll keep it condensed. ‘I’ve written a few personal development books. And I do freelance work for popular blogs and personalized content sites.’ Not everyone feels your personal brand, but you attract the right people for who you are at your best. [Read: 12 meaningful topics that ignite an intellectual conversation]

#7 Staying in the moment. The important thing’s not to make it feel as if you lead them on a pre-designated course. Just offer a description and let them generate their own ideas if they’re curious about learning more. They might simply make a remark and then you can ask them what they do.

But if you still hold on to the next piece of your reply, you’ll be awkward and throw in discordant notes into the conversation. Keep fluid, improvisational, and on-rhythm with the moment.

#8 Being relatable. We like to converse with people we relate to. Rather than trying to impress, consider how what you do affects people like the person who asked the question. This immediately makes what you do relatable to their life right then in that moment.

It also makes you seem like the expert at that thing in their eyes. What you do potentially affects them in some way and that understanding pulls them into the conversation.

Example:

Them – ‘What do you do for a living?’

You – ‘I tell stories about people who wear pretty blue dresses and who have brown hair.’

Them – ‘Eh, haha, what?’

You – ‘I’m a writer.’

Them – ‘Oh really? Bla bla bla… *conversation*.’

#9 ‘Rule number 1 no explaining.’ Those are 6lack lyrics. You don’t need to explain why you do what you do *you just need to know why*. Unless you’re asked of course. So just state what you’re up to and maybe something brief about what you enjoy about it. You’d be surprised.

Age-old story craft wisdom says to describe only the tip of the iceberg. Then let the reader fill in the rest. Saying less is more *no need to overthink this however or be weirdly cryptic*. Just keep it simple. You usually come across as interesting. [Read: How to keep a conversation going no matter what you’re talking about]

#10 Adding a small future plan description if they also participate. If the person seems really interested in learning more about me, and is also investing in telling me about them too, then I might give a small insight into my future plans. E.g. ‘my goal is to write a fiction series – urban fantasy. I’m in the planning stage right now, which is the part that makes you want to rip your arms off.’

This has the cool effect of attracting people who share similar ambitions. They get a true snapshot of an aspect of my vision for my life. [Read: How to make new friends as an adult]

#11 No need to be perfect. You don’t need to be able to be able to score off lines as if reading from a teleprompter. But you do need to know the heart of what you do succinctly. This means that, even if you trip up here and there in your wording, you never lose a sense of what your brand is. You know it clearly. Journaling daily is a great way of building this.

#12 Answering confidently. Perfection is overrated, but confidence isn’t. Keep it solid rather than being awkwardly humble or embarrassed about your work. Even if you’re unemployed, just give context.

#13 If you’re courting, you may want to say less. Telling your partner too much about you kills the magic. It dissolves the intrigue and air of discovery. The feminine particularly loves to discover who their partner is through their behaviors and by physically being present in their life.

More important than detail is to let them see who you are by being in your presence: the way you talk, how you think, how you treat people, and so on. [Read: Getting to know someone – How long does it take?]

#14 Not resisting the question. Turn the question into an opportunity to make jokes and then change the subject.

So, if a girl I’ve only recently met asks me ‘what do you do for a living,’ I might just shrug and say ‘I’m all about storytelling. It’s my gift and curse.’ I might add ‘I write for a few companies and have a few books out.’

If she asks for more details I’ll just be unspecific and steer the topic elsewhere. I want her to know 30-40% about who I am through me just telling her. The rest she fills in by deduction, seeing who I am over time, and imagination. [Read: How to be mysterious without being too distant]

#15 Making funny fake first responses. If I’m in the mood, these can be a funny way to make this part of the conversation less predictable. For example:

– ‘I donate plasma weekly.’

– ‘I’ve been unemployed since childbirth and sleep on this street corner just here. These shoes aren’t new, even if they do look amazing.’ [Read: Dry sense of humor: 20 signs you’ve mastered the dry funny bone]

#16 What if you hate your job? Get a new one. But in the meantime, I wouldn’t assume the person judges your value based solely on your job prestige. And if they do, perhaps they’re not worth knowing anyway. Being able to talk about things that aren’t perfect in your life is a sign of self-confidence.

You could add a bit about your future plans, your potential, and your drive. This gives them some small insight into what your personal brand looks like in the future.

[Read: Rock-steady self-respect: How to fine-tune your internal compass]

The what do you do for a living question can be a great way to spark up interest and conversation. The key to answering is to not be boring, know your brand, and keep your answer open-ended.

The post What Do You Do for a Living? How to Answer It Like a Bestseller is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.