#I LOVE BEING CALLED CALCIFER IT ALWAYS MAKES ME SMILE

[woahjo]

miss calcifer i love the way u write i love ur brain and most importantly i love you 🫵

oh fuck, i am holding you gently to my chest, oakie. thank you i love u so bad

[multi-fandom-agereg]

Mom's Brat. (Mr drama queen)

🥛| a short, agere fic based off a roleplay chat with character ai. FT Mama!Sophie bc I love her

🥛| !! this is an age regression fic. Meaning this post is COMPLETELY SFW. This post will include words like mommy, brat, and threatening punishment (timeout). But this isn't for nsfw intent. Please don't be weird just because this is what the fic includes. NOT EVERYTHING IS NSFW, so don't interact if you are nsfw or kink ♡ !!

🥛| !! Cw: Howl being called a brat (playfully), kicking, threatening time out, Sophie being stern

There was Howl, back from only god knows what. He never told Sophie where he went after the sun went down- but she knew it wasn't good. Every night Howl came back he was always completely drained from doing anything. He would get his hot bath like usual before soaking in his bed for hours, even after the night completes and a new day starts.

It worried Sophie. Really, it did. She was told she shouldn't worry, but she couldn't help it. Not one bit. So after one of the nights of howl coming back, soaked, bruised and battered, it worried Sophie so much she couldn't ignore it any longer. After Howl finished his routine bath soaking Sophie Confronted Howl about what was behind the black door. Of course, Howl shrugged her off like always. Thinking that she was 'being too personal' it wasn't personal if she was worried for his well being, right..?

"You're being overprotective again, Sophie" he chuckled lightly to himself as Sophie crossed her arms. "You got some nerve saying that to me, Mr Pendragon." She said in a stern-like tone. Her face cold and unmoving. Howl then grinned. "You live once, my dear. Make enemies along the way. It makes life worth experiencing" he winked before he attempted to go by her before Sophie grabbed his arm, stopping him. "We aren't enemies, Howl. You are just a stubborn baby" she sighed, obviously frustrated. She thought for a moment, before she looked at his face. His face no longer had that grin- no, it was soft and.. vulnerable. Sophie knew what that meant.

"Hey Howl?" She asked gently. "...do you want to regress?.. you, uhm.." she paused, looking down. "..haven't done it in awhile." Howl then shook his head. "Enticing, but I'll pass" he avoided eye contact. "You sure?" That's when Howl cracked. He bit his lip, before shaking his head. Sophie smiled. "That's what I thought." Without waiting for Howl to respond, she wrapped her arms around his waist before hoisting him up to her arms. In response, he wrapped his legs securely around her hips so he didn't fall. She brought him downstairs before settling him down at the kitchen chair.

"Uh oh, he's little again! He's gonna try and put me out again! Im sure of it!" Calcifer panicked, peeking from behind one of his logs. Howl narrowed his eyes in response, throwing him a raspberry in response. "Oh, he's alright. I'm sure he's learned his lesson. Right howl?" She asked. Howl huffed. "Yes mommy.." he muttered, pouting. Sophie left the room momentarily, leaving to get howl's paci and bottle.

"Oh yeah, leave me alone with Mr loves-to-spit!" Calcifer complained. Sophie came back, smiling gently. "Oh stop it, Calcifer. Howl said he was sorry" she turned to Howl, offering his bottle. In which, he turned his head to. Sophie then frowned. "Just because he said sorry doesn't mean he's genuine! He spit on me like.. twice!" He protested, his flames growing slightly bigger.

Sophie rolled her eyes. "I'm babysitting two kids. One including you" she grumbled. "Hardy, har har." Calcifer taunted. When Sophie tried to offer Howl his paci, he declined again before resulting to the only bad habit he had: sucking his thumbs.

Sophie sighed before setting down the two objects. She gently tried to pull his thumb from his mouth, but that made Howl frustrated. In his frustration he began to kick his feet, accidently kicking Sophie. Earning a quiet yelp of pain from her. Sophie became stern, grabbing howl's shoulders gently, catching his attention.

"We do NOT kick people, Howl. Not here, not anywhere. It doesn't matter if you're angry or not, you do NOT hurt people. Do you want a timeout? Im not afraid to set you in the corner." she said sternly. Howl took a moment to process her words, anger still bubbling at his surface. With a frustrated sigh he finally nodded. Understanding his mistake. "..sorry mama.." he murmured, this time being genuine. Sophie smiled, kissing his cheek.

"You're okay, sweetheart. Just no more kicking.. or sucking on your thumb. Okay? You have your paci for that" she ruffled his hair gently. Howl had a terrible habit of biting away at his thumb when he sucked on it, this is why she resorted to pacis instead. Finally after another couple minutes of Howl arguing with Sophie, he finally accepted it and put it in his mouth. Of course Sophie had to use reverse psychology to get him to use it, but it worked right? "You're such a brat sometimes, you know that?" She smiled.

Howl hummed softly, sinking further into the kitchen seat. What was Sophie gonna do with a 3 year old in a grown man's body? Who knows

End.

Like my fics? Awesome! Tell me in my inbox! Any feedback or criticism is always welcomed! For more longer, more detailed fics go to @stuffieplaydateinc ! A agere fic blog. :)

[elmoslungcancer]

Howl x Male reader

Angst? Happy ending

Lowercase when words should be uppercase is probably common. As well as there is probably incorrect punctuation.

Big ass paragraphs as well.

Went to look at my drafts and saw this calling my name.

It was peaceful and quiet. Calcifer's fire makes the room feel warm, cozy, and safe. You don't wake up because of the quietness, you wake up because there is no chaos hell even Calcifer isn't talking up a storm.

Howl had a break down earlier and ran off somewhere you were waiting for him, lately every time something doesn't go his way it seems to set off a bomb inside of him. He isn't the best with expressing his feelings all you wish he would do is talk it out as a normal couple. Though it is better than screaming at you and having to clean up the green goo.

As you toss another log to calcifer even though he already has three, you sit back on the rocking chair, and you wait hoping to hear the click. You want to see his face; you want to scream at him, you want to be angry at him, you want to ignore him, give him the silent treatment when he tries to act like nothing happened, but who are you fooling to think you'll just ignore him.

You hear the wheel click at least you thought you did. It could be anyone though. Was it Sofie? She's a sweet girl, but lately she's been working on her hat business. Plus it was too late for her to be coming here. You've tucked Markl into bed already. Even though he claims he's a big boy that can take care of himself, he still loves it when you tuck him in, read him a story, give him a kiss on the forehead, and wish him sweet dreams as you shut his door.

You start to feel drowsy so you get off the rocking chair and give calcifer another log, even though he insists he will be good for the night. You tell him it's a treat, to think of it as a thank you for keeping you company, and keeping you warm. While you walk up to the table you pick a plate and lay it on the table, and you grab a box of some pastries you got early from a bakery. The ladies there were so sweet and kind it made you smile a little while setting some on the plate for when he returns.

You close the box and leave the it on the counter, not on a shelf too high in case Markl wakes up in the night, and wants a quick snack before he goes back to bed. You rinse and dry your hands off and walk upstairs, but not without saying goodnight Calcifer. As you lay on the bed you stare up at the ceiling where clocks stare back at you. You know this isn't a healthy relationship. Yes fights are common in relationships healthy or not. Not being able to talk about them because your partner is having a tantrum, and you have no clue where he is not normal.

You want to set boundaries no you need to. You can't be the only one wanting to make this work out. You hear the door open and hear Calcifer screaming, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED M/N WAS?" There was no point it was a cycle. After Howl comes back home from wherever he decided to head off to. He ignores Calcifer, heads upstairs takes a shower and comes to lay down in bed with you. You start to fall asleep but then you feel a body next to you hugging you from behind. You try to ignore it as he always does this but then you feel him start to cry. You feel shocked because he usually just passes out, but this is new.

"m/n.." he mumbles in-between your shirt and his hiccups. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry! What I'm doing is wrong..I want to break out of those habits...but I can't it's hard. It's not right for me to drag you with me. Please let me make it up to you." He says as he buries his head deeper into your back and holds onto you tighter. So you tap his arms signaling him to let go, he does as well as scooting back to give you some space. You turn to face him, but seeing his tear stained face hurts you. You always hated seeing Howl cry. You cup his face and nuzzle noses together.

"Howl, yes I am upset you keep running away instead of talking this out like adults. I want you to try to stop doing it, I know it won't happen right away as it's a cycle for you, but I want you to try to break that cycle." You say as you pet his hair and move it out the way to give him a forehead kiss. His eyes widden and start filling up with tears and he buries his head in your chest. You pet his hair as his body shakes.

"I love you Howl and I want us to work, but it takes two. We will talk more later in the morning. I want us to set boundaries, I want you to tell me what's a clear no in your book, and what's in mine. Let's rest for now, but I want you to know I love you very much Howl and don't forget it." As you finish you kiss his head and wrap your arms around him.

How writing this made me feel:

Anyways thanks for reading

[angstyantoinette]

Yandere!Howl Jenkins Pendragon x Reader Headcanons

Warnings: Slight NSFW [mention], kidnapping, manipulation, toxic relationships. 

We all know that Howl is very much a ladies man; he knows exactly how to pull women in, and captivate them so that they fall in love with him easily. 

For Howl, it’s all a game. He catches the eye of a girl, no interest on his part of course. She just happens to be in his line of the game. He knows what to say, how to present himself to perfectly fluster and simultaneously intimidate every other person there. He doesn’t venture outside the castle often, and when he does, there’s an air of fear; there’s such awe left in his wake. 

And he loves it. This drama queen feeds off it.

But we also know that Howl is a runner. He cannot commit to anything, hating the restricting nature of feeling tied down. I mean, he abandoned his apprenticeship. With this in mind, Howl makes the most unlikely yandere. But he actually is highly dangerous, although he doesn’t really look like it.

He’s afraid of himself in a way. He understands that he is quite powerful, and after practically going rogue, Howl gets his kicks with spontaneity, with the complete unexpected in life. 

When he meets you, he expects you to give him all your attention, like everyone else. But you brushed past him, looking at his fancy clothes, his blonde hair, sapphire eyes, green jewels swinging from his ears, and the beautiful pendant around his neck. He was picturing it now in his mind, getting ready for the look of adoration, the tense of muscles, the scarlet blush upon your cheeks.

But you looked away. You gathered your belongings, perhaps stowing them away in your satchel, and you just looked away.

What?

Is that it?

You weren’t even interested in him. Howl was still so stunned he had nothing to say, no suave and seductive voice to tempt you into his charms. He was in awe of you; you looked at him with such indifference it made his head hurt. Not with heartache or pain or anything like that. But he could not deny that he wasn’t curious.

Well, of course, not only does this not sit too well with Howl, he is very much a delusional person in this kind of state. However, he is incredibly smart and calculating and he balances these two personalities scarily very well. 

Like I said before, Howl is a very dangerous yandere, and he thrives on his blantant misinterpretation of a mere womanizer to scamper away, unsuspected, unscathed, and free to do what he likes.

Howl doesn’t really hold on to grudges that much, or anything; when he loses interest, he tosses things away. Not all though. 

You, you, YOU. 

Why won’t you leave his weary mind after days of being apart? Why is his  conciousness telling him to look for you, and not relent until he’s succeeded in doing so? Despite all the signs, all of the telltale signs that shows he’s just a little too invested in you, he writes it off as his bad habits resurfacing to play another game. 

And, of course, Howl Jenkins shall oblige!

Howl is a patient man, make no mistake. He finds it enjoyable to watch things go down for a while; no matter how trivial, poking fun in plain sight at innocent civilians never gets old. 

When he finally gives in to trying to find you and play with you for a little while, Howl pushes aside all distractions to do so. That means traveling through counties and villages, towns and cities until he’s found you again.

Howl is desperate for love and affection that isn’t because of his looks. He really wants someone to love him, not the image he puts across, not just above the surface with his tantalizing blue eyes that pull you in and trap you. 

You saw through that. You barely gave him a second glance and while it peaked his interest initially, it annoyed him for days on end. Usually being teasing and indifferent to Calcifer’s complaining, he found himself snapping and getting easily annoyed. Markl began to subtly keep his distance on bad days. 

Now, though, he’s become delusional. In Howl’s mind, you are to blame for his interest, for his inability to keep his mind off of you. You are the sole reason for his burgeoning obsession that seems to be running the show. He tells himself that when he finds you, it’ll leave. This painful, utterly agonising sensation of having you in his grasp, playing his game will go far away. He’ll seduce you, definitely, take you to bed and have a good time and his obsession and all-consuming desire to play the game, just you and him will just...go. Poof.

Except when Howl does find you, he doesn’t feel like letting go of you. 

Ever. 

And while this does take him by surprise, it all starts to make sense for him. 

Because looking at you now, bundled up in his arms, crying in anger and confusion, he sees in the stars that this was meant to be. 

He waits until he’s sure you’re asleep [more like passed out from exhaustion-] to really, really get a good look at you. He notices for the first time your cheeks and how they’re squished against his pillows and wrapped up in his sheets so perfectly, it’s like you’ve been here many times before. He notes how relaxed your closed eyes seem to be, no furrowed brow or scrunched tight eyelids; just complete and utter serenity. 

You’re just so perfect. Could you be a god, some kind of deity perhaps?

He’s in love for the first time in a long time. He may have let it slip by then, selfish and uncaring, but now?

Oh no, Darling, you don’t stand a chance. Howl will do anything to keep you hidden from those bastards’ eyes  protect you, to love you and most of all, make you see that he’s the one for you.

 Always.

You sat in the boiling water filling the bathtub, limp and tired, unresponsive as Howl bustled around you, his task completely focused on getting you ready for bed. Once upon a time, you would have refused to call him by name; instead you settled for ‘bastard’, ‘prick’, and ‘I hate you’. 

You even tried to sleepily mutter these things under your breath, not caring now that you were being lifted out of the bath, and dressed in a white gown. You cared even less when feeling your mind slip away into a soft sleep, curling into your body with comfort, clinging onto Howl’s pillows.

However, in front of his ‘housemates’ [ you could only guess what a talking fireplace could have to do with his wacky moving castle ], you were frightened. Howl didn’t even have to say a word; he had you smiling and  acting somewhat normally in front of ‘Calcifer’ and the little boy, Markl, you thought his name was. 

But you could always feel the sliver of magic take a hold of your wrists from behind, a little voice telling you that staying here was for your best interest, what more could you want? It promised you eternal love, devotion and affection, coated with a sickly sweetness only Howl could pull off. 

All in all, you stopped resisting after a while. Howl was annoyingly patient it seemed, and it frustrated you to feel as though you were a child all over again. He smothered you, insisting on doing the most trivial of things for you, never snapping back at you, never doing anything to remotely answer back at you in the same manner whenever you resisted his help.

It didn’t click until you had cursed at him mercilessly, screeching and crying, pulling at your combed hair, that by acting like this; he looked better than you. He looked above you. Compared to your tantrums, Howl looked calm and collected and completely willing to help you in any way possible. 

But why was he doing all of this? 

Why did you wake up in his bed, with his lanky arms draped all over you as if you were lovers? Why was he spoiling you, letting you wear his clothes, feeding you? What was he trying to convince you of? 

“Darling, I have some new nightclothes for you. Do you want me to help you into them?” He was slower, more gentle tonight as he strolled around his room. He was delberate though, not forceful exactly, but it was more of an atmospherical warning. You could just tell; if little Y/N tried anything, something would happen. 

Some kind of spell, or perhaps even a curse to teach you a lesson.

Ah, there it was. Another gift. 

Did he think you’d simply tolerate him because of his lavish, his blatantly excessive gift-giving?

Why did he look at you with such sickening adoration on his flawless features? 

At last, his bustling seemed to cease and he took a longing glace back at you. He probably only meant it to last a few seconds but the longer he gazed, it just became a cold and glassy stare. 

You knew the feeling of ‘zoning out’ well, but his eyes became darker and darker. Some kind of shadow must have passed over him or something, because he snapped out of his eerie trance and threw himself onto the bed. 

You yelped in surprise, pulling your hands to your sides, hastily spreading them out on the soft quilt like spiders, your legs pushing your body back ever so slightly, eyes wide. 

Howl chuckled, but it was filled with a sinister undertone that you weren’t used to at all. He snapped his head to the right, his hands already unraveling a silk-encased package. 

“I saw these while in the town today and couldn’t help myself.” 

Pulling out the brand new nightclothes, you unwillingly let out a pleased gasp. It was a set of matching pyjamas. They were satin, smooth to the touch and a beautiful shade of emerald, not too bright at all, but not dark either. 

Sometimes, you enjoyed this sort of treatment from Howl, albeit, very guiltily. He was always polite, courteous and kind, willing to help you with anything, but you also couldn’t help but feel a sense of horror, lingering long after you fell asleep. As if it were some kind of parasite. You just couldn’t for the life of you place your finger on it. 

You had learned to never keep him waiting for anything; he was a busy man and as much as he liked to have free reign of his work, he liked to be organised too.

This time you had apparently spent too long admiring your gift rather than answering him.

“Isn’t it lovely, Y/N? I thought it would suit you divinely.”

“Y-yes, it’s beautiful, thanks so much H-Howl.” 

Not wasting any more time, he sat up from his previous position on the bed, and somehow managed to gracefully snatch the nightclothes away from your trembling hands, and shooting you a look as if to say, well, take your clothes off. That was the less sinister version. Howl’s eyes took on a new darkness that growled, or I’ll do it myself. 

Your hands flew to your neckline, undoing the small ribbon that held the soft cotton on you, and allowed Howl to thread his fingers through the material, travelling towards the bottom of the garment and pulling it over your head whilst you lifted your arms, feeling the comfort of the soft sleeves peel off your arms. 

The blush on your face was unmistakeable. It was another embarassment being bathed by him, but this? Stripping you out of your clothes? It didn’t help that he was aware of your inner battle, and having an annoying, but otherwise barely noticeable smile on his face. 

His hand reached over with the satin nightclothes, urging you to take them. You did, carefully so, slipping them on against your flushed body, his cerulean orbs watching intensely. 

As if he didn’t want the image to go away. 

When you had finished dressing yourself, you stood up and  tentatively walked to the mirror, even slightly stumbling on your feet, and gasped in pleased surprise. You looked...beautiful in the nightclothes. The satin felt so smooth on your skin, and the emerald shade brought out your e/c eyes nicely. 

A few moments later though, you gasped for a whole different reason. Howl slipped his hands around the front of your torso, letting them wander further and further down, reaching your thighs with a renewed urgency, pressing you back against his body.

“I didn’t hear a ‘thank you’, darling.” His tone was teasing, but you could detect a hint of anger, annoyance was it? As quickly as the shadows came they departed, leaving you at the mercy of the wizard Howl. 

“No matter,” he rasped against the nape of your neck, placing soft, heated kisses against your skin,”You can say thank you, whilst begging on your knees.”

----------------------------------------------------------

sorry about that ending, it just needed to come to an end before i drove myself mad with the procrastination :)

but what did you think of it?? there really isn’t enough Howl’s Moving Castle fics, let alone yandere ones, but i like how it came out. 

to the person who requested this, Howl, is 100000% the gentle dom we ALL NEED OKAY

[enigma-im]

Nineth day of Christmas...

Trope: Royal/Servant (NSFW) Relationship: Naga x Human Word Count: 5,137

I walk through the overly ornate halls with a breakfast tray in my hands. I pass a few coworkers on the way, nodding to them all with a polite greeting. The morning is peaceful and quiet. Nothing hectic is planned for the week and the thought makes me giddy. With a pep in my step, I turn down another hall. I catch sight of a slithering tail sneaking into a room. As I pass the door I see the prince heading to his office. Our eyes meet before he starts to close the door. He passes me a kind smile and a flirty wink. I snap my head away, staring down at the carpeted floor with a blush.

The prince is a handsome man, some even say more handsome than his other siblings. His scales a mottled red and blue that is an envy to all. He takes after his father on that front, only taking after his mother with his soft features. The prince is a kind man, a great pick for a king. Though he is not considered The prince, that would his eldest brother, Calcifer, he has been brought up to be respectable and wise as a king should. We all adore the royal family, from their eldest to their smallest babe of a few years, they all rule with honor.

I set the tray down in My Queen's room. Hearing her off in her closest I arrange her morning meal in a presentable fashion. Fish, insects, and water, a simple meal for her majesty.

"Cora, that smells delicious. Did Helen make it this morning," the queen asks as she slithers from the closet.

"Why yes, you have quite the nose for her cooking," I grab the unloaded tray off the table.

"She has a very particular style that I like and it's a smell that always has me salivating," she looks at me with an easy smile," good morning, Cora."

I bow," Good morning, queen Malika."

With breakfast served and pleasantries exchanged I make my way towards the kitchens to help prepare for lunch. With a household so big and busy it's best to do prep work now than later. The family doesn't make it so easy as to all eat at once in the dining hall. No, no, no. they all have their afternoon responsibilities that must be dealt with separately, thus beginning the great hunt of finding them all to deliver their meals.

Pleasant conversation is exchanged as we all rush around the kitchen. Mary tells of her firstborn speaking their first words, a joyous event for the first time mother. Helen educates us younger staff on and ins and outs of toddlers. Stephanie steals the attention away from the children to share the hot gossip of the palace. The king's preparations for visiting a neighboring kingdom to speak diplomatically. The eldest prince's date with his betrothed. Even how littlest Amare's first day of schooling.

With lunch in hand, I redo my walk through the ornate halls, passing others with similar trays to mine. I'm filled with giddy as I turn into an office, shutting the door behind me with my feet. The middle prince looks up from his work, giving that heartwarming smile.

"Afternoon, Cora," my name rolls off his tongue like a purr.

"Afternoon, my prince," I curtsey. I shuffle in to set the tray down near his reading chair.

"You know I do not care for such formalities," he scolds facetiously. I bite my cheek to stop the smile curling my lips. Taking the plate off the tray I twist towards him.

"Apologies, Keita," I say. He watches me walk around his desk, setting his dish on the edge. I bow, ready to depart to finish other chores. Before I'm out of reach he snatches my wrist, tugging me softly towards him.

"May I be so bold as to make a request from you, sweetest Cora," he pets the back of my hand.

"A prince does not have to ask for permission from someone like me," I answer. He smiles with a tilt of his head, his dark eyes catching the light.

"But what sort of prince would I be to not treat all my people with the utmost respect," he clarifies," I wish to see you tonight, in my chambers for a bedtime snack."

"a bedtime snack," I playfully mock," now what sort of treat are you hoping I'd bring?"

He grins salaciously," a creamy tart or perhaps a stuffed pastry?" I giggle, heating up at such words.

"a dessert before bed, have you not heard of sugar giving one nightmares," I ask.

"Then good thing you will be there," his tail curls around my ankle," with a beauty such as yours surely you can ward off any and all treacherous dreams."

I playfully swat his hand away," too many sweet words from such a sweet prince. Shouldn't let me get any ideas."

His tail twines up my calf," may I ask what sort of ideas is coming forth in that head of yours?"

"oh, Keita, a woman shouldn't say such immodest things," I take a step back, feeling his scales glide across my skin as I make my exit. His eyes follow me as I grab the tray and make my way to the door. With a final look back I smile at his affectionate gaze.

"Till tonight, Cora," he says.

"Can't wait," I answer.

With the moon high in the sky, I make my way through the ornate halls for the third time. The way is dimly lit with gas lights. It feels scandalous to walk through these halls like a stranger in the night. I nearly giggle at these events waiting for me. Stopping before a door I right myself, adjust my hair and clothes. With a huff, I knock and twist the knob.

Walking into the poorly illuminated room I don't see signs of anyone here. Am I early? I take a timid step in, looking around cautiously. Opening my mouth to call out for him I feel a familiar touch to my ankles. Quickly I twist around, tugging into a comforting embrace. Lips slat against my own with a rewarding glide of pointing teeth against my skin.

"Evening, Cora," he greets as he peppers sweet kisses down my face.

"Evening, Keita," I pet at his hair," rather eager tonight, aren't we?" he suckles on my clavicle, stretching my collar to reach more of me.

"It's been weeks since I've got to have you, forgive me for being more excitable than usual," he answers in a rush. His cold tail curls around me, squeezing me in a comforting embrace.

"it's been merely days, Keita, no need to be so dramatic," I try to scoff. He steals my thoughts with a well-placed tail peaking up my skirt. The strong tip pets at my clothed heat with practiced ease. I nearly melt at the contact.

He perks up away from my neck with a smug face," a day without seeing your beautiful body is like a hundred to my weary self."

Keita drags me away from the door, laying me upon the bed before attacking me like the beast he is. Love bite where one would not see, touches that set my body aflame, and kisses that make even the soberest feel drunk. He discards me of my clothes quickly, attending to himself after a thorough examination of my bared chest. His cocks stand proud, both weeping just for me. It's an intoxicating sight that can make any woman feel like a queen.

I take him like I've done many nights before. Taking the pleasure he gives and giving the pleasure he demands. Silent cries echo just for us, gentle praises were spoken specially to one another. For tonight his body is mine, to please and worship. The reds and purples are like a painting that God has graced him with. The design was made to be admired by all and cherished by me. I adore this prince of mine, will adore him till my last breath.

We lay together, I curled up in his long tail. His head rests against my bosom, pressing lazy kisses to me. One of his cocks still nestles against me, taking it's sweet time to shrink after decorating my stomach. I pet at his hair with a content hum.

"I must be leaving soon, it would be bad to fall asleep here," I mumble. He groans in answer, squeezing me tighter to himself.

"Just a moment longer," he kisses my breast," let me know this peace for another second." I nod, just as reluctant as him to let go.

I sneak through the halls once again, thinking back on the night with a girlish smile. The prince and I have been nursing this affair for a while. Perhaps nearly a year, since the last snowfall. I look out the window, the next winter is soon. We never planned for it, never truly needed one another as we do now. Keita isn't a prince in line to become a king, he is but a son who was born after one wasn't needed. He doesn't care though. He enjoys his life, enjoys his luxuries. Enjoys me.

My room is quiet when I enter, too cold without someone to lighten the space. I fall into bed with a lonely sigh. We didn't think it would get so far. It was just an agreement to warm one another without risk. Now it's more. I agreed with Keita to keep things a secret, that stress of being in the spotlight nearly too much for me. I'm not a royal or someone of great importance and I'm keen on keeping it that way. For now, we are allowed this, to have fun without problems. That's the way I like it.

At the end of the week, the king returns from his trip with gifts for the family. All it bright in the castle with everyone accounted for. As I walk the halls delivering the queen her afternoon meal I see the king take Keita to his office. Keita passes me a quick sweet smile, nearly distracting me from my task.

I drop the tray off for her majesty, exchanging pleasant conversations. She raves on and on about little Amare. It's sweet to hear a mother speak so excitedly of their child. I've heard terrible things of sister kingdoms who don't have this familiar love for one another. It's heartbreaking to think these other royals can't have such a pleasant dynamic.

Dinner comes around with me tasked to feed prince Keita. With a pep in my step, I make my way to his office. When I enter he seems distracted, staring off into nothing with a contemplative look.

"Are you alright, sir," I ask as I set his plate down. He jumps from his thoughts, finally acknowledging me.

"Oh, sorry," he straightens himself," a bit busy today." I nod, watching him either way. With the conversation seemingly done with I bow before making my way back to the kitchens.

The week is lonely without Keita. He hasn't extended any invitations this week, keeping to himself in his office for most of the day. His mother even tries to express concern for him, asking a favor of me to check on him after lunch. I agree, my motives syncing with hers.

With a treat in hand, I rush off to Keita's office. The dessert is but an excuse, it being rather rude to come into a royal's room uninvited. I look at the chocolate pastry on the small plate, hoping that even something as simple as this could boost his mood. Entering his office I see him staring off into space again.

"Afternoon, sir," I bow," I have come with desserts." he snaps from his focus to look at me.

"Hello, Cora," he glances at the plate," my favorite? Have I done something good I don't know about?"

I smile," not that I'm aware of, but we all deserve a treat once in a while just because." I take the plate to him, setting it on the table as the silence begins to get awkward. He looks at the dessert for a moment too long.

"I'm sorry for being strange this week, I have a lot on my mind," he answers, all formality gone. I relax a bit.

"Your mother is worried about you," I say," and I'm starting to get a bit concerned as well."

He nods," Sorry."

We stand in silence again. I think about making my retreat, report back to his mother on the strange behavior.

"Alright, sir, I should be on my way now," I bow. As I step away he snatches my wrist.

"Can I see you tonight," he asks. I look at him, trying to pick any emotions off his features.

"yes, I'll see you in your room tonight," I nod. He lets me go, watching me as I leave his office.

I sneak into his room to be greeted with the familiar rendezvous. We tangle in the sheets once again, no words being exchanged. Tonight feels different though, slower and more intimate. It's an odd pace that warms my heart and twists my stomach. He is attentive with his affections, prying as many whimpers and cries from me as he can. Even as we lay in post bliss he just watches me, studying all of me. I meet his contemplative gaze.

"You are burdened," I reach out and pat his cheek. He cups my hand.

"I am burdened," he answers. I twist on my side, nearly touching foreheads with our nearness.

"Will you tell me," I ask. His body sags, his eyes dropping with a sigh.

"I rather not," he mumbles," but it will hurt us both if you heard it elsewhere." I sit up, brow furrowed in worry.

"What do you wish to tell me," I look between his beautiful dark eyes. He looks glum, dejected. Sitting up with me he watches for a moment longer.

"My father has given me news that brings sorrow more than joy," he says cryptically," I want you to know it's not my idea, I would have never agreed to this if I had a choice."

"Keita, you're worrying me," I recoil a bit. He reaches for my hands, tugging me closer to him.

"I know, dearest Cora, I just don't want you to be angry with me," he says," I couldn't bear to see your face twisted up in disgust when you look at me."

He speaks nonsense. How could I look to my sweet prince with hate? Only admiration can cross these features when I look at him.

"please tell me, Keita," I squeeze his hands," I can take it." he sighs, dropping his head.

"Father has promised me to another," he finally says," The eldest princess of Stezia. He arranged it on his visit."

I still at his words, feeling my heartbeat like a waterlogged drum. Promised to another? I hiccup as a sound tries to escape my throat. He is to marry? He squeezes my hands and tries to tug me closer, I twist away. I stare off into the room feeling dejected as he looked.

"Please, dearest Cora, I did not choose this," he tries to convince. I wither away at that moment. I'm to lose my sweet prince to another kingdom. How do I collect myself from this? Surely this pain will be my undoing.

Keita shakes me," say something, Cora, please." I look at him emptily.

"Princess Lilian is a fine woman and I think you would be a proper king to her," I answer formally," now if I may be excused, it is getting late." like an empty vessel I grab my clothes and redress myself. Keita tries to reason, saying words that I cannot hear. Without a word, I escape out the door, walk the halls, go to my room, and fall into my bed.

As my head hits the pillow all his words come rushing past my ears. I hiccup, a tear rolling down to my ear. With the first drop to lead the way, the dam is released. I curl into myself, crying like a woman who lost her love. I guess I am that woman. I wail into my pillow for the ignorance I've kept with me during this affair. I'm no princess, how could I ever pretend to be with a prince?

It's my turn to be distant and strange. Keita tries to catch my attention, tries to bait me with his words. I remain formal and proper through every exchange. He is a prince, how can I try to be unprofessional around him? My coworker takes notice of the hollow interactions. They too try to bait me into a conversation, even inviting me out for drinks. I decline with a curt smile, though they never meet my eyes.

I deliver the queen's dinner, sorting the plates onto her bedroom table. She sits in the chair by the balcony, gazing off to the setting sun.

"You have been withdrawn lately, Cora," queen Malika says casually.

"Don't mind me, Ma'am, I'm just a bit lost in thought as of late," I answer. She hums in answer, slowly turning her gaze to me. Malika watches me sort her meal, watches me pretend to have life in my bones. She hums again.

Standing from her chair she walks over, sitting at the table," would your suffering be because of some boneheaded decision my husband made?" I stiffen, gritting my teeth before plastering a smile back to my face.

"What ever choices my king makes is no worry of mine," I answer kindly. Her stare is heavy.

"You know the responsibility of a king is to protect his people," she asks. I nod," do you know the responsibility of the queen?"

"To be a guiding hand for the king," I answer.

"That is one," she eats a roasted insect from the bowl," the biggest responsibility is making sure their people are happy. I know everyone who works here, I've spoken to them all like treasured friends. Many royals have told me that is pointless but I believe to lead the people is to know them. So I ask you this, Cora. Do you love my son?"

I choke on my words, feeling cornered at this moment. I hurriedly grab the tray, ready to make an excuse to leave. She holds her hand up, pausing my attempt at a rushed departure.

"I just wish to know your intentions before I do anything," she clarifies," if you do not hold my son as dear as he holds you then I suggest you make your peace now."

I stumble on anything to say, floundering like a fish. The corner of her lip twitches towards a smile.

"I see," she look towards the window," then I suggest you meet Keita by the gardens tomorrow. He has much to say to you."

I gulp, nodding my head. She smiles, waving me off so she can enjoy her meal in peace. I shakily walk to the halls, nearly falling to my knees with nerves. How the hell does she know about Keita and me?

The next day is a rush of frazzled actions. I can't think straight, can't work, can't walk. Did Keita tell his mother? Did he plan this meeting in the gardens? I Malika the one who is orchestrating it all? What is to be said, what is to be done?

The time clicks away till sunset. My body is eager but my mind won't let me get ahead of myself. Surely this will all go terribly, who am I to wish for something pleasant with the prince? Surely this will all go well, the queen pulling strings and getting Keita out of this marriage. My brain won't rest.

I walk out to the gardens, admiring the flower wilting with the coming winter. The path is littered with petals, all varying shades of decay. Though dour, it's a lovely sight. I sit near the fountain, a chill going up my spine. Should have brought a jacket.

"You're here," a voice calls from behind me. Twisting around I see Keita slithering his way towards me. As he nears I stand from the bench, taking a step back. He freezes before the stone seat, shoulders dropping.

"as a suggestion from your mother do I sneak here to meet with an engaged man," I swallow hard," speak your peace, and I will mine."

"I-I'm sorry, Cora, I had to see you," he tries to get closer but I step back," my mother has spoken with me a lot as of late. It seems she is right when she says she knows all that goes on in her castle." he chuckles, half-heartedly.

"She is a good queen, was foolish of us to assume she wouldn't find out," I say, looking to the side. I can't bring myself to look at him, to allow myself a moment to adore his beauty again.

"Well, she has offered me much to think on," he slides around the bench," she doesn't give me direct instructions on how to war this battlefield but she guided me to do as my heart wishes." he continues ever closer, forcing me back against the fountain. As my calf knocks the edge and I nearly fall back he grabs me. Stealing me closer he presses his sweet lips to mine. In a moment of weakness, I allow him, missing his caresses like a removed limb.

I push him away," You are betrothed, please show some decency."

He grabs me again," Screw the marriage. I haven't asked for much as the middle child, I think I deserve to have this one thing I want." he kisses me again, forceful and rough. I wiggle in his hold, ripping myself from his grip.

"No," I shout," I will not be a mistress to you any longer! This game we play is not without rules, I will not be the one to suffer while you get what you want. I can't stand by and let you marry someone else while you string me along!"

"But, Cora," he reaches for me," I don't have to get married, we can run away together. We can go somewhere else and start a new life for us without the rules and restraints of here." I want to scoff at his suggestion, truly seeing his age now. He is a prince but he still has much to learn in the ways of being an adult. Twenty years of life in a castle hasn't shown him the harsh reality of life outside the walls.

"Keita," I sigh," that won't work."

He finally grabs me," Why not? I can provide for you, take care of you. We can start a family out there where I don't have to be part of arranged marriages and foolish things like that."

I shake my head," you don't know the first thing of being outside pampered living. I won't let you even if you did."

"Won't let me," he scoffs," Cora, you are being stubborn."

"And you're being daft," I chuckle bitterly," we have to end this. I can't be strung along and you can't be forced into this situation. I want you to continue living this life with your family. To have connections to them because they would be distraught without you." I pet at his cheek.

"Don't," he clenches his eyes shut," don't, please."

I stroke his scales," I will treasure our time together but we can't be. I'm not what you need."

"Yes you are," he barks," stop saying that."

I bite back tears," It's true. Your father would never allow such a thing. You are part of a proud family that is adored by all in this kingdom. I'm not worthy of standing beside you and being a princess."

"no," he shakes his head," no! you are worthy and I will do whatever I can to prove that. Mark my words, Cora, we are not done till I've exhausted every option."

I try to argue with him, try to get him to see reason but he fights back. Reluctantly I give. I let him believe there is a chance, let him believe we can actually be together. We depart with another forced kiss that has our teeth nearly clanking against each other.

I lay in my bed that night feeling worse than before. A seed of hope settles in my chest, the smallest rotted seed. Maybe he can figure it out. I try not to nurture that thought.

The week I try to forget about Keita and work as usual. I barely see him in passing, perhaps once or twice as he storms out of sight at the end of the hall. The queen is kind, more so than usual. Her request is improper for a maiden like myself. She asks to eat lunch with me, telling me to fetch my own food and bring it to her room. I have to reluctantly agree, enjoying some lively conversation.

I'm doing my best. It's all I can do at this point in time. The man I love is fighting tooth and nail for me in a battle I'm almost positive he can't win. Too many rules forbid such a thing, too many traditions and promises stop us. I sigh as I walk down the halls. Ornate and beautiful like always.

"You," someone snaps at me. Twisting around I find Keita slithering up to me. I take a step back in surprise as he snatches my arm and makes his way down the halls.

"What are you doing," I try to jerk my arm out of his grip," where are we going?"

"We are going to my father," he sneers. I turn cold.

"T-The king?"

"Don't have any other fathers beside him," he snaps. If I wasn't so afraid I would be scolding him.

Keita drags me towards the main hall, shoving the doors open unceremoniously. We both walk to the king who stands near a window surrounded by couches and tables. The main room hosts lots of meetings. The king looks to us both, quirking a brow at his son.

"I'm tired of all this sly bullshit," Keita starts," I'm not a subtle person, and trying to be has gotten me nowhere. So I speak plainly to you now, father, I do not want to marry princess Lilian. I want to marry maiden Cora."

The room is heavy with silence as the king turns his attention from Keita to me. His eyes study me, making me want to curl up and die. It a feeling I never wish to have again. I've worked with the family for a while now but the king has remained an intimidating man. His wife is the only one known to speak with him as an equal, even his children pay his respect in all regards. Except now, clearly.

"Do you bring this woman here as an alternative to Lilian or as the original interest," the king asks.

"I love her," Keita growls," she would never be a substitute." I would fluster at his validation if the king was watching me with those piercing eyes.

"In love? That's a heavy declaration," the king nearly smiles," You plan to ruin a relationship with Stezia with some childish crush?"

"Some childish-," Keita scoffs," I mean what I say. I love Cora more than any man can love a woman. More than any man can love anything. She is what brings me the most joy and I cannot bear to let that be taken away."

The king nods, looking out the window," Heavy declaration with passionate claims. I hope you are prepared to deal with whatever consequence may arise from this breaking of union with Stezia."

"I'll take whatever comes, as long as Cora is by my side," Keita says proudly. I'm left to gawk at the two, hopeful and fearful all at once. Is the king suggesting what I think he is?

"Then you get to be the one to tell king Dagda," the king looks back to us," if you agree then my next visit you are coming along to apologize to Lilian and her father. If that is all then you are dismissed."

"May it be my punishment for keeping quiet for so long, father," Keita bows," I speak truthfully when I say, thank you."

I get to see the king smile as he approaches Keita," I want my sons to be happy, there are no reasons to thank me for that." he presses a kiss to Keita's head before slithering out the room. I watch them both in awe.

With the king gone and me left flabbergasted Keita turns to me and lifts me in his arms. I yelp, holding his shoulders as I'm spun around. Keita litters my face with kisses, utterly engulfed in joy.

"Grow a backbone and take what you want, my mother said," he laughs," she tried to tell me and I took it the completely wrong way."

"She told you to confront your dad," I ask.

"Not exactly. I thought she meant to be determined with you, not my dad," he answers," either way, I'm ecstatic and I cannot be without you another moment."

Before I can ask he is whisking me away to his bedroom, laying me upon his sheets with the widest grin. He leans in, kissing me all over as he begins the task of removing my clothes.

"You know, I never said I agreed to any of this," I tease. He freezes, lifting off me with a quirk of his brow.

"Do you," he asks," agree to this?"

I scoff," Is this how you plan to propose to me?"

Realization strikes him as the smile comes back to his face. "Of course it's not. I will plan something grander than a romp in the sheets. For now, I need you, later we can share our love with the rest of the castle."

Keita rids my clothes and his own. His beautiful twin cocks stand to attention for me, sliding down my stomach before prodding at my entrance. I look up to him, reaching up and cupping his face. His gaze is filled with devotion and affection, it's almost alarming. He fills me, the second one resting on my stomach. We sit there, at peace finally being together.

I pet his cheek," I love you, Keita."

He kisses my palm," I love you, too, Cora."

We make love through the day, laying together exhausted that night. I let myself finally drift off in his arms, feeling full and delighted. Tomorrow will hold its own challenges but tonight, I'm happy.

[punksarahreese]

Blue | La Douleur Exquise

Nosdecember day 24 | @neworleansspecial

Hanahaki!AU; Sarah starts suffocating on her flowers at work

CW: Hanahaki disease, vomiting/coughing up blood, medical gore, child abuse mention

***

“Doctor Bekker?” Sarah called from where she stood by the nurse’s station. Ava was in treatment one with a patient, though she looked up at the call of her name. She must have excused herself to the patient’s family because soon she was standing in front of Sarah and the resident had to force a polite smile.

“You paged?”

“Oh, yes,” Ava passed her a tablet with a chart pulled up, “A girl came in with an arrhythmia, presumably from an undiagnosed heart condition. She flinches every time I move and is anxiously looking at her father for his consent before speaking.”

“So you’re thinking abuse?”

“Looks that way, I figured a shrink would know best.”

Sarah nodded, ignoring the way her chest clenched a little when the surgeon leaned a bit closer to zoom in on something on her chart. She knew by then that she was suffering from Hanahaki disease, caused by Ava herself, but she hadn’t told anyone. She felt foolish, knowing she should make an appointment with a specialist and schedule a removal surgery. Still, she hadn’t let herself even humour the thought. Removing her flowers would mean tearing out every feeling she had for Ava. She knew this would kill her in the end but she couldn’t bring herself to kill it first, not yet.

“A history of broken bones and her x-ray today showed calcifications on her ribcage that suggest untreated rib fractures.”

“Poor kid,” Sarah mumbled as she looked over the x-ray Ava pointed out, “You want me to speak with her or the parents?”

“I’ll deal with them, take them to sign something. You talk to the girl, just be gentle; she’s scared”

“Of course,” Sarah couldn’t help the sigh of relief when Ava left to go escort the parents to a conference room, feeling the pressure in her chest ebb away. She had quickly learned that the closer she was to the subject of her affections, the more pain her flowers caused. She had done research on the petals she had begun coughing up weeks ago, unnerved by the blood speckling the pink and purple flowers she didn’t recognize. Barberton daisies, google claimed, were native to South Africa. That made sense, especially since Hanahaki was often characterized by flowers significant to the patient’s love interest. Daisies were beautiful, they used to be one of Sarah’s favourite flowers, but now that she had seen far too many covered in her own blood she had begun to hate them.

With Ava out of the room, Sarah had no problem sitting down with their patient. The girl was no older than seven, far too young to be exposed to any type of violence. She was scared, that was obvious, and it took a fair amount of coaxing before she would speak to Sarah. Slowly, the psychiatrist did get her to open up and she hid behind her hands as she told her the truth in a hushed whisper. Her dad got angry, she explained, and mom wasn’t much better. She was punished for many things, pointing out her most recent bruise; a big red welt across the back of her thighs.

“I didn’t finish my dinner…” she admitted softly, as though she was afraid Sarah too would punish her for that. The doctor immediately reassured her that she did nothing wrong, waving in a nurse to call child-family services as soon as possible.

Sarah should have paid more attention, because it was at that moment that the girl’s father returned to the treatment room. He must have heard her ask Monique to make the call, since it wasn’t before long that the room was full of yelling.

“You stay out of my family’s business, bitch!” he was yelling at Sarah, quickly having her backed against the wall. When Sarah cried out because she ran into the sharps container mounted on the wall, Ava had already walked into the room. Mo ran off to call security, all of them worried about what this man was capable of. The patient was in tears, shrieking at her dad to leave the nice doctor alone because it wasn’t her fault. Ava had the guy’s hand pinned behind his back the second he looked ready to hit Sarah, dragging him towards the door.

“Don’t you dare lay a hand on her, Mr. Klein,” she spat, “Or you will be escorted off the premises.”

That had the man shouting more expletives at her, cursing out every female staff member in the general vicinity. Sarah had managed to get away from the wall, thanking Ava quietly as she walked back over to the girl. She was breathing heavily, hyperventilating out of fear, and she looked ready to pass out.

“Hey, Lena, you’re safe,” Sarah promised softly, leaning over to turn up the oxygen to ease her breathing. A quick glance at her monitors had her concerned though, her heart rate was skyrocketing and her oxygen stats only decreasing.

“Ava?” she called, not thinking about the way the surgeon preferred to be on a title basis with everyone but Connor. She was too worried, knowing this father had sent his daughter into a panic attack and maybe triggered something more severe.

Doctor Bekker was by her side in seconds, checking the stats herself and calling for an EKG. Her blood pressure was oddly high for a young child, the child having trouble speaking and grabbing at Sarah’s hand for reassurance.

“Lena?” Ava leaned over her with her penlight, “Can you follow this for me?”

Sarah watched as she tried to complete a quick neuro exam, soon realizing that the child’s right pupil was sluggish and not reactive. In seconds Mo was paging a neuro consult, while Ava and Sarah tried to keep the patient calm and awake.

“A stroke?” Sarah rasped, struggling to breathe herself because of how close her and the other woman had been standing while tending to Lena.

“Something like that,” Ava nodded, “Transient ischemic attack maybe? If she’s been abused for a while she could have had an aneurism or bleed that was missed.”

“She’s so little,” Sarah breathed, giving the child’s hand a gentle squeeze when she noticed her eyes falling shut, “Lena, stay with us, honey.”

Sarah wasn’t sure how exactly she made it through the next few minutes. Her chest hurt more than it ever had before, her breath catching every time Ava leaned closer to check their patient or the monitors. She knew this was bad, it shouldn’t get in the way of her work, but she couldn’t help it. By the time Sam walked into the room, asking her to move so he could check the patient’s cognitive function, her vision was getting fuzzy. Ava must have noticed because suddenly the other woman was taking her hand and dragging her into the hall, which had Sarah’s chest clenching horribly at the minor contact.

“Sarah,” she never used her first name and it made the resident want to cry, “Are you alright?”

She could only manage a small nod, eyes focused on the hand Ava still had in hers. The touch burned, making Sarah want to rip her hand away but not having the strength to even think about doing that.

“Your lips are blue,” Ava pointed out, “And your hands. I think we need to get you into a treatment room.”

“I’m f-fine,” she rasped, “I’ll be okay.”

“If you’re sick you shouldn’t be working; besides, you look like you’re about to pass out. Let me do a quick exam, please? Cyanosis with such a quick onset is a major cardio concern, Doctor Reese.”

That had Sarah yanking her hand from Ava’s grasp, ready to flee. There was no way she would let her do a cardiac workup on her, it would involve X-rays and scans so she would definitely notice her Hanahaki. Sarah didn’t want anyone knowing, but the thought of Ava in particular having any idea about it scared her more than surgery to remove the damn thing.

“I’m fine, Doctor Bekker,” she muttered, taking off down the hall before Ava could say another word. She rushed into the downstairs staff bathroom, sighing heavily when she realized it was thankfully empty. She felt déjà vu hit her hard as she stared at her reflection, the same place she always was during episodes at work, noting that Ava had been right about her being cyanotic. She was breathing harshly, gasping with every inhale because she couldn’t get enough oxygen otherwise. This was bad, she realized, as she felt like someone was squeezing her lungs so hard they would explode.

She didn’t even have time to grab onto the counter before she collapsed on the floor, her legs buckling without her consent. A sound of annoyance escaped Sarah, frustrated with how much pain she was in; all because of Ava. She didn’t blame her though, how could she? The other woman had no idea of her effect on Sarah, she just didn’t love her. It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t return Sarah’s feelings, it was Sarah’s own fault for being foolish enough to let it get this bad.

She couldn’t suppress the rough cough that shook her body, ripping angrily at her chest from the inside. It was a watery cough and Sarah knew her palm would be bloodied when she pulled it away from her mouth. She was suffocating from the inside and she didn’t know what to do, cursing quietly when she saw the handful of petals that had come up with her forceful coughing.

Maybe it would finally kill her, she mused bitterly to herself. Dying in the hospital bathroom was not her ideal way to go but at least she wouldn’t have to explain herself to anyone.

[wolfsgravity]

Don’t mind me I’m still having Howl brainrot

I really like him

And after I watched the movie, I realized his dynamic with Sophie is so good and like.. even though I love him, I kinda felt I’d either ruin his happiness with her if I wriggled an S/I into the mix.

I think I just came to peace with it all though. I won’t have as spectacular of an adventure with him like Sophie did, but sometimes Ghibli films show beauty in the casual too.

I think I’ll put myself into their lives about a year after the movie ends. Howl and Sophie and their little found family are living happily together. I somehow stumble across Sophie’s path, probably at some market, downtrodden and looking wholly uncomfortable in clothes I clearly don’t wear often. She, the kind soul she is, asks me why I’m crying.

I wipe my face and quietly whimper, “It’s ridiculous, but I seem to ruin everything I touch. The shop I work for keeps losing customers, no matter how hard I work. My mother just told me that her and my father only seem to fight when I’m visiting. I was just on a date with my boy.. -hic- ex-boyfriend, and he told me over the appetizers that it can’t be coincidence that even aspects of his life I have no matter in… got worse not long after we began seeing each other. Oh, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, but I simply feel I must have been born cursed.”

“Cursed, huh?” She says, almost forgetting the vegetables in her basket as the events not long ago play through her mind. Curses are no joke, she knows for sure, but she hasn’t come across the idea of being born cursed. She’s only known Howl about a year, though, so maybe it could be true. She offers me a proper handkerchief that I bury my tear-stained face in. “I’ve got an idea. If you’ve got nothing else to do today, come with me. We can have some light lunch and talk more over tea. I’d hate to just leave you crying like this in a market.”

I nod and slowly get to my feet, as I had been sitting partially obscured by an empty market stall. Sophie offers me a light reassuring pat on the shoulder, but in my mindset, I recoil. When she apologizes for scaring me, I mumble, “I don’t want my bad luck to get onto you, too. Best not touch me.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Sophie says in a quietly cheerful way, leading me out of the market, “I have some people back home for you to meet, I’m sure they’ll be able to cheer you up.”

So we walk a ways, with me slowly getting less sad and becoming more my usual self. By the time we get to the door for the castle, Sophie realizes I’m quite a kind and lively person, not much older than her. She understands better why I feel cursed; a delightful, albeit self-deprecating person can’t consistently meet such poor circumstances by pure chance.

She opens the door and invites me in. She takes off her hat and I feel a tiny curl of jealousy, not unusual for me, at her easy beauty. It doesn’t tint my view of her, as I consider myself an exceedingly homely person on a regular basis. She has shown me kindness, that’s what matters. She calls into the place, “I’m back from the market, I brought someone along to visit! Come down and meet them!”

We step into another room, with stairs leading up and out of sight. In front of a crackling fireplace sits an old woman, who turns and smiles at us. I give a shy wave.

“Hey Sophie,” I hear a voice, looking to the staircase to see the source. Not seeing anyone, I look around. The old woman hadn’t spoken, where had the voice come from?

“Hello Calcifer,” Sophie speaks, facing the fireplace, “I was wondering if you or Howl could help myself and Remington out.” I look at her, then at the fireplace, then rub my eyes. The fire has a face. The fire was the one who’d spoken.

“Eh, I’ll see what I can do, I guess. You know I don’t care for strangers,” the fire speaks, visibly eyeing me down. I feel self-conscious, fingers mindlessly playing with the fabric of my clothing.

“Remington may be a stranger, but I’m sure you’ll all love them. Polite, kind, funny, we had quite a nice conversation on the way here.”

“Sophie!”

A voice calls out from the staircase, for sure this time. My eyes tear away from the animated fire and land on a young boy, bounding down the stairs, followed by a small dog. The child hugs Sophie tightly and then looks at me.

“Why’d you bring some strange lady home with you?”

I flinch very slightly, feeling very out of place.

“Markl, this is Remington. Please don’t refer to them as a ‘strange lady’ like that, they’ve had quite a rough day. I thought maybe I could cheer them up, and maybe get some advice about something they brought up.”

The fire, Calcifer, speaks again, “You sure know how to pick your friends, Sophie.”

“Oh?” She turns back towards him, “Why do you say that?”

“Well, I don’t know the full story myself. What was the thing they needed help for?”

I look at Sophie, and she glances back at me. “I think you can tell it better than I could, so go ahead.”

I shuffle, my hands clasping together as I feel all the eyes in the room fall on me.

“Sophie found me crying in the market,” I start, “I was trying to be quiet but she found me anyways. I told her, uhm… I, uh, know it sounds really silly now that I’m not actively super sad.. I just believe I was born cursed?”

“You said that as a question.” Calcifer quips.

“Well, because I do believe it, and I feel I have all the proof I need to back myself up. But it just sounds stupid.”

“Curses are real.” The old woman sitting in her chair pipes up.

“Well, I know magic and spells and curses are real,” I stumble over my words, looking between the woman and the fire. “I’m just not.. really special enough to have incurred a curse from anyone.”

A deep voice drifts down from the top of the stairwell, “Huh. That sounds oddly familiar, doesn’t it Sophie?”

I sigh at yet another person hearing my tale of woe, only to glance at the stairs and see a beautiful wizard making his way down the steps. I feel my embarrassment rise a notch, why are so many people involved in my sob story now?

He reaches Sophie and gently kisses her forehead, reminding me of the pain I’d felt earlier at losing my boyfriend to my curse. It figures those two would be together, they’re both so beautiful

I feel a slight tearfulness threaten behind my eyes, so I look back towards the fire. “It seems like everything I get involved with ends up getting worse. The shop I work at has been in a decline since I started working there, my family only fights when I’m involved, and my.. erm.. now-ex-boyfriend caught on and said I was ruining his life, so he dumped me.”

“Why’d you bring them home with you, Sophie?” The young boy asks again, now looking a bit angry, “What if they’re right? What if we start fighting or something?”

“Eh,” Calcifer starts, looking as contemplative as a fire can, “It’s not as cut-and-dry as a curse, here. I do sense magic, but no birth-curse.”

My shoulders sag.

“Remington, right?” He continues, looking directly at me. I nod. “You’ve got innate magic ability. Anyone ever tell you that?” My brows furrowed, I silently shake my head. “That explains it. You’ve been sending out sporadic zaps of magic since you got here. You’re not in control of them, but you probably have been feeling them as little spurts of energy that go into your twitches and fidgets. Usually magic kids get noticed and apprenticed to a magician of some kind to learn to harness their own power, but somehow your parents or whoever was in charge of you seemed to miss it. Now you look to be in your twenties, and usually a magician by your age has at least mastered and learned to outlet their own magic. Without control or a structured outlet, your own magic just pings out of you and into your surroundings.”

“Oh,” I say, eyes drifting to the floor for a few moments. Then I muster up a smile and look at Sophie. “Well, that’s certainly not what I was expecting.”

“You’d better find someone who’ll apprentice you at your age,” Calcifer says, not wholly unkindly, “because your magic won’t just stop now that you know about it. I hate to say this, but you’re unintentionally gonna ruin your own life with this stuff.”

My forced smile falters. “I thank you for your information, Calcifer. Maybe I should get out of your kind abode before I start wrecking it, huh?”

If fire could shrug, he definitely did so, “I’ve just been countering your pings, it’s pretty tame, so you have no chance of wrecking shop while you’re here.”

“Then let’s have that lunch I promised you,” Sophie reaches out and lightly brushes my arm, and my smile quickly becomes real again.

“I’d like that.”

—-

Basically, after this scene plays out, we have lunch together and Howl speaks up as I’m about to leave and says he’ll take me as an apprentice.

And I eventually start to fall in love with him, but don’t want to get between him and Sophie, nor do I think I’m good enough for him. Sophie is kind and encouraging and tells me she didn’t think she was pretty enough for him at first, either. But she’s okay with whatever Howl’s heart tells him to do, because she loves him and is comfortable in knowing they’ll always love each other.

I don’t want any Howl and Sophie angst in my ship with him. I’d like to think her and I could share him comfortably and be good friends with each other.

[writernomore]

Wake. Prolouge.

Quick A/n: Hello there I am back from the dead, I have decided to put onhold my ongoing stories and made another one called wake the one you’re about to start reading. You can get early updates in my wattpad .

Vivian MacQuoih or what they preferred to be called; Vinnie was a college student studying their major subjects that will allow them to work in a job in their prescribed setting and capable for the best of their abilities.

They had to move countries all alone on their own to a different country to study in Winston college, so their brother or you could say their twin brother took care of the house and helped their parents if needed be.

They would also be keeping in contact with their family as to not distance themselves with their family just because they were in a different country studying.

Anyways, Vinnie worked a job that helped paying their appartment rent each month and sent some money to their family- even though their brother Johan or JD told them not to and just said they should use it to buy something for themselves like clothes or a little treat.

Thinking back now they stare down at the clothes they wore, a hoodie and shorts that they always wore when their in closed doors because it was like a safe haven from all things bad and anything that disrupted their peace.

They needed it to be honest, running around with a bunch of homework in hand and some cardboard cartolinas they had to stuff in their backpack to write down a report they wrote down and write it with black markers and cut excess paper from the pictures they printed yesterday.

They never really thought about not making a powerpoint and lived to regret it now since making a powerpoint was easier since it was basically copy and paste, do research and just paste in the important bits because noone has time to read it all and it was easier as well since it would all be in their laptop.

Reaching in to the popcorn bowl they looked back up to the T.V and continued watching their movie, it was the weekend and thankfully their brother had sent them the full dvd cds of the Harry Potter movies along with some of their favorite snacks that their brother had miraculously remembered and along with some pictures of him and their parents.

Vinnie put them on their wall clipped onto a string along with different pictures they brought from home or pictures their brother had sent to them thinking they would miss home very much.

They were watching the 3rd movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, they weren't able to focus on the movie properly because they kept on losing track and paused the movie first to rack their brain if their forgetting for something, silently they pulled their phone out and checked their notes if they had forgotten to do something, and it seemed they had forgotten to write an essay.

"My gut feeling is always there to help me thankfully." they said to themself in a quiet tone.

They stood up and brushed off anything from their shorts and went to go to their room to get their notebook and pen to start writing an essay, the essay was about Books about fantasies and Action and write down if their beneficial and why.

The teacher from their Homeroom subject was very curious on the books they read and asked what kind of books some of the students answered Adventure, Action and Fantasy.

And the Teacher decided to ask the class to make an essay about Fantasy and Action.

Vinnie was getting tired so they just decided to resume the 3rd movie tomorrow since it was the weekend and they didn't want to mess with their healthy sleep schedule even though it was a tempting offer when all they wanted to do was just watch Harry Potter all night and probably go back to tumblr and binge the fanfics in the Harry Potter x reader tag, they weren't much biased towards the characters and read fanfics with any character they could think of because it gave off such feelings they long craved for.

But if someone were to ask who their favorite really was they would answer with the name; Viktor Krum.

He was one of the really nice characters, He was seen as scary and intimidating towards his other peers but when he was Hermione during the Yule ball they would've melted if they were Hermione and it was just absolutely cute when he asked for Hermione to write to him!

He didn't love Hermione for her body, It was her smarts, kindness and beauty.

They really grew high standards because of fictional men but they didn't really need to find the perfect partner, they just wanted someone who they could love and someone who would accept them just as they are and love them as they are.

They longed for someone like that, someone who would understand.

They snapped back to reality and realized they just finished their essay, they scanned it twice before closing the notebook and returned the notebook and pen.

They went back to the livingroom and cleaned up their mess and popped out the Cd and place it back in it's case carefully.

They turned off the T.V and closed the light in their livingroom they walked to their room and plugged their phone into the charger before going to the bathroom they went to their closet and took out a white tank top and long blue pajama wear.

Going over to the bathroom they opened the lights and went to undress and brush their teeth.

They checked if their alarm was set to wake them up early in the morning in case they would forget again and stay in bed late.

They pulled back the covers and layed in bed trapping themself in a little warm cocoon underneath their comforters.

They always had a little trouble in sleeping so they just stared at the ceiling but since it's been a few minutes now and it's getting them nowhere they threw back the comforters and walked over to the livingroom to just continue watching the 3rd movie.

'Screw sleep then' they thought as they watched all the Triwizard contestants dive down in the water.

Ever since the first movies had released they longed to be like one of the characters and to be apart of all their adventures.

So Harry Potter was like a big part of their life that helped them through thick and thin dressing up as wizards with their friends and waving the wands Vinnie and their friends made on their own, begging their parents to get an owl thinking they'll get their letter soon from Hogwarts.

Their eyelids getting heavy they slowly lied down on the couch and fell asleep.

........

They opened their eyes and was in a black void, looking down it was like there was water on the floor but it didn't feel like it since there wasn't this wet feeling beneath their feet.

They started to walk around the void, they know well they won't be able to get anywhere but they tried anyways to see it would get them anywhere.

"Hello." They jumped in surprise and turned around to be face to face with...a boy?

"Uh...Hi?" "You aren't much of a talker hm?" The boy- nah Entity said smirking down at Vinnie.

The entity stood up straight to it's full height.

Damn...And they thought they were tall being 5'11 but they just encountered people the same age and height as them since they don't go out to much at crowded places.

They didn't like crowded places that much...

"Hey!" The entity snaps their fingers infront of Vinnie's face, shaking their head they stared back up to the entity infront of them.

Now that you think of it, the entity has long jet black hair tied into a loose braid and eyes red like rubies he wore a seemingly majestic like outfit, white fabric and lined with gold and a cape designed to replicate the galaxy to top it all off.

Vinnie took a step back look at the man more with furrowed eyebrows.

'Stranger danger' They thought to themselves and tried looking around "Don't worry I'm not here to hurt you." The entity says looking back at them they had their hands up in surrender and eyes closed.

Opening their eyes there was this aura that surrounded them as they stared at Vinnie's soul with such malice "Atleast....not yet.." The entity erupted in dark laughter as it sent chills to Vinnie's spine as they took another step back and wrapped their arms around themself as in to protect themself or atleast in a sense of comfort.

"Why...Why am I here then?" they said to the Entity.

The entity crossed their arms and put a hand to their chin as if pretending to be in thought then looked directly at Vinnie and said "I don't know what do you think...Vivian." Vinnie stilled and stared at the entity with furrowed eyebrows and narrowed eyes "Don't call me that." they said with gritted teeth.

"Oh? Did I struck a nerve Vivian?" The entity once again started chuckling at their reaction.

"That name's dead." They glared at the entity.

"Hm...alright then.." The entity crossed their arms over their chest and sighed.

"Can we just cut to the chase?" Vinnie huffed and crossed their arms and looked away at the entity.

 "Aren't you a snappy one." Entity chuckled.

The Entity snapped their fingers and they were floating on mid air, Vinnie made a surprised yelp and all the entity could do was chuckle and shake their head 'This one's going to be much more interesting than the others'.

The entity snapped their fingers again and Vinnie began falling, they screamed at them "Weird entity!" " It's Calcifer!" The entity just stared down as they fell with a horrified expression on their face, They looked down at Vinnie and smiled and waved at them.

As Vinnie was closing in with the hard ground....

They woke up.

 ------------------

This is what he have for now!

So how’d you guys like the prolouge I am not very good in writing but I know some stuff with what I shouldn’t and should do.

Anyways, Calcifer is just a dick here.

If you want more content like this. Consider giving me a follow;) 

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Lost Book of the White Countdown Event - Death

Cold Fear

(Read on Ao3)

Fear.

Fear, Magnus believed, was a weakness. The one inevitable Achilles’s heel that everyone possessed. Anyone could hunt down what you feared the most, and use it against you, and you’d have no way of escape.

Fear was a backstabbing blade that you carried strapped to your back your whole life.

Magnus had his own fears. Several of them. Drowning. Loneliness. Calcification. But for the longest time, his fear was himself.

For the longest time, ever since Magnus found out who he was, whose son he was, Magnus had been afraid of himself. He had been afraid of waking up one morning with blood in his hands, of making irreparable mistakes, of leaving a horrible stain upon the world. No one ever knew exactly what a child of a Prince of Hell was capable of. Magnus was afraid that his magic would take over him one day, and he’d show the world just how much he was capable of, how much destruction he could rain upon the cities of the world.

But one day, when he was with his family in his loft in Brooklyn, and they were all having a rather somber conversation about fears, Jace turned to him and asked, "So, you've been living for a long time. I bet you don't get afraid much, but what are you afraid of?"

For once  his fear was not himself.

But Magnus had lied. Of course he had - he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud, his worst fear, not when it was sitting right there and staring at him with deep blue eyes.

It was never easy being an immortal. Especially when you had to witness all your loved ones die and move on, over and over again, leaving you behind to grieve. Magnus pretended that it would get easier with time, but it didn't. The pain would always be there. He'd only learned how to tolerate it.

But he was downright terrified at the thought of Alec dying.

Sometimes he wondered, whenever he thought of the vast amount of time looming in front of him after Alec's inevitable death, just what he was supposed to do without Alec by his side. Alec, by now, had become such a fundamentalist him, akin to the heart and brain and lungs, so much so that Magnus thought he would stop functioning altogether when Alec left.

Which was why he did everything in his power to keep Alec with him for as long as he could.

Fear, surprisingly, was an effective motivator. When you feared something, you did everything you could to avoid it, to prevent it from ever happening.

Or in Magnus’s case, when facing your fear was inevitable, you did everything you could to push it back. He couldn’t prevent senescence. But there were things he could do to make sure that his Alec lived his life as best as possible.

So he smiled a derisive smile at Jace and said, “Who? Me? I’m not scared of anything.”

“See you tomorrow!”

Alec waved back at Jace, watching him step through the portal to the front steps to the institute. The portal closed in a whirl of gold, and Alec turned away from it, Magnus’s words ringing in his mind. 

Me? I’m not scared of anything.

Jace had laughed at that and threw a retort at Magnus, but Alec couldn’t help but note the way Magnus had avoided his eyes.

You think I don’t know, Magnus? He thought as he made his way up the stairs. You think I don’t know what you’re afraid of?

The countless insistent messages everytime a demon hunt took longer than usual. The ring laden with protective spells. The tight hugs that knocked out his breath everytime he got injured. Of course he knew.

Alec stepped through the front door of the loft, heading for Max's bedroom, from where he could softly hear the sounds of Magnus singing lullabies. He couldn't do anything to quelch Magnus's fears, but atleast he could be there by his side.

Magnus was sitting in a chair beside Max's cradle, rocking it slowly as he sang. The words were from an unfamiliar language, but the tone was soothing. Alec moved to stand behind Magnus, wrapping his hands around Magnus's shoulders and kissing him on top of the head.

"Hey," Alec whispered.

Magnus’s free hand came up to wrap around his. He kissed Alec's palm, and said, "Hello, yourself."

The room was dim, lit only by a small nightlight in the corner. Magnus’s singing had been reduced to a soft humming now, and Alec leaned in, placing soft kisses along his cheek and jaw. He could sense Magnus’s smile, lighting up his face with a soft glow.

"You're really not scared of anything?" Alec whispered, resting his cheek against Magnus’s hair.

"Of course not," Magnus said, his hand tightening for a brief moment around Alec's. "Why should I be, when you're here?"

Alec's heart broke.

He took a deep breath, and whispered again, "What about when I'm not with you?"

Alec could feel the tension running throughout Magnus’s body. He turned his face towards Alec, brushing their lips together in a small kiss. "I'll be fine."

It sounded more like Magnus was telling that to himself rather than to Alec.

"Of course, there will be certain disadvantages of not having a Shadowhunter with you, but…" Magnus shrugged and smiled, but it was what Alec liked to call the 'pretend smile'. "I'll be fine."

They would have to talk about this someday, Alec supposed, but that day didn't have to be today. Today, he just pecked Magnus on the lips and said, "If you say so."

Magnus’s smile widened and he leaned in, kissing Alec firmly, his grip on Alec’s hand unyielding. The city outside was peaceful that night. Max was fast asleep in his cradle, even as Alec and Magnus tiptoed out, closing the door with a quiet click behind them, Alec's quiet laughter ringing out through the apartment as Magnus wrapped his arms around his waist and twirled him around, pulling him into an impromptu dance. With a flick of Magnus’s fingers, quiet slow music began to play somewhere within the apartment. 

Someday, all of this would end. Until then, they just had to make everyday count.

[catboy-jam]

APPRECIATION POST FOR ALL MY FRIENDS BC ILY

@stray-kids-stuff : youre literally the best, youve helped me out so much im my life and without you i probably wouldnt have met the others, youre truley like a parent to me and i really dont know what life would be like without you❤

@seonneoguli : not only have you helped me become more like myself, youve just been a source of comfort and trust since we met tbh, and honestly i cant recall a time i ever felt like we were awkward with each other, youve just always felt like a home and someone i can trust and love like a mom❤

@dimpleboyjeffery : ah, the queen bitch sjsns jk but honestly? Youre really like a second sister to me and even though we go back and forth a lot i love you sm, youve never not been there for me and youve always supported me as long as i dont take jaehyun sjsjsn seriously though, youre confident, strong and beautiful, dont forget that❤

@stays-and-strays : jae istg ily sO MUCH, youre legit my brother from another mother (and country--) but anyways, idk why ive just felt like we've always had a sibling bond, and my first instinct is to go all big sib on u and be like "ill punch anyone who looks at yoy weirdly" dnbddb but for real, youre smart, SUPER FUCKING TALENTED, and have the biggest heart a tiny boi could have, i love you lil bro❤

@calcifer-rose : okay even though i clown you a lot you are legit the happy virus of the group, i have no idea what would happen to us without your dumbassery djdbd youre so kind and sweet and always make me smile, youre so unapologetically you its hard not to love you❤

@soft-sang : lowkey where do i start…first of all you, rome and dani got me into ateez sO T H A N KS SKDKDN but seriously, i know some things are rough for you, and some shit be going wack but youre so kind and caring no matter what, you and the rest have seen me grow from a babie to a babey sjdjdj and honestly i couldnt be more proud to call someone as amazing as you my friend❤

@rxme-vxx : ROMIE WHERE DO I FUCKIN START. First of all, Youre so cute?? And no u cant disagree. And second of all you are seriously an amazing friend, the way you carry yourself is honestly incredible, youre so full of confidence, kindness, love and humor, and that just makes me happy to say youre my clowning wayv buddy djjdn jk youre my friend and the cutest blossom bun all the way❤

@strayteez-and-chill : Dani. You. Are. So. Pure. I love you so much and youre my favorite abuele❤ the amount of shit youve been through is insane and the fact that you can still make me and the others happy is incrediable, youre so so SO beautiful, intelligent and strong. Youre one of the greatest friends ever❤

@moonwa1k3r : iLY BITCHHHH shdhdhssj okay even though i clown you a LOT i really do appreciate your friendship, youve put up with a lot of shit and i give you so much credit for still being as energetic as you are, youre a great friend and pseudo-parental figure, ily❤

And to any one i mightve missed ily so much and i didnt mean to leave you out i just have the memory of a worm❤❤

[lynne-monstr]

Flufftober Day 11: Heart

ao3 link

A warlock’s heart is not safe in his own chest.

It was an old adage, taught to every warlock child from the cradle. The fate of their kind.

Centuries of research had brought them no closer to understanding why their hearts suddenly turned to stone in their chest. Calcification, they called it. For some it happened young. A tragedy, people would whisper in the shadows, while being grateful it wasn’t them or their loved ones. Most went centuries with no sign of the ailment, only to go to sleep and never wake up.

Magnus had studied the phenomena for years, soul-sick from watching so many of his people fall ill to the ailment. It was his research that paved the way for a solution. It was both his greatest accomplishment and his greatest failure.

If a warlock’s heart wasn’t safe in their chest, they must give it away.

Eventually, entire industries sprung up. Secure facilities where a warlock could store their fragile heart. It was a cold and clinical process, leaving behind a chill that never went away. But it was better than the alternative, the ticking time-bomb of a calcified heart. Only the extremely brave (or the very eccentric) risked keeping their own hearts in their chest anymore.

The lucky ones never had to visit such places, they simply gave their heart away, kept warm and loved and cared for by another.

Magnus lived with the perpetual chill of cold storage. He had tried to give his heart away once, and it was a mistake he never intended to repeat.

The chill remained, despite the balmy heat that refused to give way to autumn’s crispness. He rubbed his hands together in a futile attempt to warm them.

“You’re always so cold,” Alec remarked, taking both of Magnus’ hands in his. Raising them to his face, he gently breathed on their joined fingers.

The warm air was a balm on his cold skin but all too soon it was gone.

Magnus smiled faintly. He never told Alec about his heart, though he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d figured it out on his own. Alec was highly intelligent, with access to the Clave’s public records on warlock afflictions and remedies. Kind and considerate as he was, he likely wouldn’t bring it up until Magnus did.

(The Clave's official position stated that it was the demon blood that caused the heart calcification. That the warlocks’ own heritage slowly poisoned the human part of their body. A punishment from Raziel himself for wielding the power that they did.

The first time Magnus had read that particular dossier, he’d set the paper on fire.)

Around them, Prospect Park was quiet, save for the chatter of the ducks along the water. Magnus took his hands back as they continued their walk, electing instead to slip one into back pocket of Alec’s jeans.

Before he could change his mind, Magnus patted at his chest with his free hand. “Well, you know what they say about the heartless,” he said with a lightness he didn’t feel. “As cold as we are empty.”

Alec’s steps stuttered in surprise. “Whoever said that’s an idiot. You’re the fullest thing in my life.”

Warmth curled tight in Magnus’ chest as his breath caught, the way it always did when Alec said things like that. He wondered if maybe, just maybe, he had found someone who would accept the safekeeping of his heart. Who would care for it and shelter it and bring warmth back into his life.

Centuries of caution held his tongue, and he said nothing as they continued their stroll through the park and eventually stopped for a magically conjured picnic lunch.

.

(Camille had laughed in his face when he presented his heart, her voice ringing like a bell as she asked him whether he was serving her dinner. The very next day, he sought out the most expensive, exclusive facility in Paris for an immediate appointment. He’d been heartless ever since.)

.

Magnus had made up his mind, and that should have been the end of the matter. Unfortunately, the rest of him hadn’t quite gotten the fire message. For decades he had pushed any thoughts of his heart out of his mind, locked them up and thrown away the key.

They rushed back over him like a torrent.

When he was curled up on the couch with a cheap mystery thriller, Alec beside him intently studying the primer on warlock magic he’d asked Magnus for. Or on a dinner trip to Portugal, the candlelight throwing shadows against Alec’s throat as he tipped his head back and laughed.

He thought about it every time they stripped each other of their clothes, until there was nothing between them but mumbled I love you’s mouthed across bare skin.

There was no escaping it.

Against all sense, Magnus wanted to give his heart away again.

.

He had it all planned. Burgers in the East Village. Drinks and billiards at a gem of a bar on Avenue B that he’d been meaning to show Alec. Lastly, a relaxing, nighttime stroll before portaling back home where Magnus would fix them both a cocktail and ask him—

“Would you be the one to hold my heart?”

And of course, Magnus managed to make a mess of it.

Water dripped in streams down his face from where he just stepped out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. The blissful heat of scalding water was already giving way to the familiar bone-deep chill.

Alec stood in front of the mirror, toothbrush in his mouth. Foam overflowed around his lips as he choked on air. Frantically, he turned the tap on, rinsing his mouth with water before turning back to Magnus.

They hadn’t even made it to dinner and the plan was in ruins.

Alec’s eyes were wide in shock and Magnus despaired.

Of course Alec wouldn’t want to take on such a heavy burden. When would Magnus stop being so stupidly impulsive? Even locked away in the highest security warlock vault money and reputation could buy, his traitorous heart managed to screw up everything.

The entire plan was a mistake. He always did this, fell too fast and too much and sent the people he loved running.  And sure enough he did it again. And not in the fun Britney Spears way, he thought with an edge of hysteria. In the way that was sure to be the first fission that eventually drove he and Alec apart.

Oh, it wouldn’t happen tonight. It wouldn’t even happen this month. But surely, the weight of Magnus’ desires would become too great to bear. A stream of tiny drips that eventually eroded mountains.

The magic of his displaced heart buzzed frantically in his chest. It was a far cry from the racing heartbeat he’d never again possess, and Magnus almost crumbled.

He waved a hand, desperately trying to collect himself. “Never mind, Alexander, I shouldn’t have asked that, I’m s—”

His words ground to a halt as Alec placed a finger in front of his lips. Hovering, but not touching.

“I just—you just—I was surprised, is all,” Alec continued, a hint of color coming into his cheeks.

Magnus felt pinned in place, unable to move or speak. Is this how Alec felt that night after they healed Luke? So desperately wanting, yet fixed eternally in his own mind?

Alec’s stroked a thumb across his cheek. “You can ask me anything.”

Beyond his outstretched hand, Alec no longer looked panicked. Rather, his entire face exuded warmth and love. Hope blossomed in Magnus’ empty chest.

He let his eyes slip shut. The hand on his cheek burned like a fiery brand, cutting through his fear and his doubt. Alec had seen the worst in him before, more than once. He’d seen the ugliest parts of Magnus and still told him he was beautiful. He couldn’t understand what it was Alec saw that made him say that, but he was beginning to believe that Alec believed.

So he took a breath and asked again. “I’d like to give you my heart, if you’ll take it.”

Alec had toothpaste on his chin, but his smile was the most beautiful thing Magnus had seen. “I want every part of you. Heart included.”

In that moment, Magnus could have portaled to the moon, powered by nothing more than his love for the man in front of him.

.

The ceremony required surprising little preparation, considering how much it had changed warlock society. The final step was retrieving his heart from the facility he’d left it at over a century ago. He returned to the loft holding a specially warded box, packed away beneath additional layers of protective spells.

The magic in his chest churned in restless agitation, no doubt recognizing the heart it was tied to. It made Magnus feel restless, too. Or maybe that was nerves. He could barely remember what it felt like before he became heartless. The cold was all he knew anymore. What if giving his heart away was a mistake?

Those few warlocks that had done so described it as the height of peace and happiness to be so close to a loved one. They claimed it was a warlock’s true state to give their heart away, and that was the real reason they turned to stone otherwise. Magnus wasn’t sure he believed that, but he supposed he was about to find out.

Alec appeared in the doorway, and there was no more time for doubts.

Picking up two shot glasses from the coffee table, Magnus passed one over. If he was going to drink a foul-tasting potion, he was going to do it out of a decent glass.

“Is this going to taste as bad as that martini you made me the first time?” Alec asked, eyeing the glass and its viscous contents dubiously.

“Worse,” Magnus said cheerfully. If the night was a total disaster, at least he’d get to see Alec make his adorable alcohol grimaces.

“Lucky me,” Alec mumbled, scrunching up his face and preparing to drink.

“Cheers,” Magnus said, clinking his glass against Alec’s.

With one last look at each other, they began. It mostly consisted of Alec walking circles around Magnus as he cast a short yet intricate spell.

All too soon, it was done.

A heat blazed in Magnus’ chest where there had been nothing but ice cold for so long, pulsing as it curled around his ribs and crept down his arms and between his toes. It was a blaze he hadn’t felt since before he had paid another warlock to take his heart away, over a century ago.

Except this time it was better. His heart had found its true home.

“Oh.” Magnus gasped. and saw his awe reflected in Alec’s eyes. He could feel Alec’s presence in front of himself, the new sense as strong as the sight that showed Alec in front of him, hands cupped in front of him holding Magnus’ pulsing heart.

Judging by Alec’s reaction, the new awareness was mutual.

“Bring my heart to your chest.” Magnus couldn’t muster more than a whisper. “The magic will do the rest.”

And Alec, his brave and loving Alexander, did it without hesitation.

The magic flared yellow around them, bright and blinding. When Magnus blinked away the spots from his vision, Alec’s hands were empty. His heart was nowhere to be seen. For a moment, he was terrified it didn’t work, that magic itself had deemed him not worthy of Alec’s love.

Another wave of power washed through him and he gasped. When it passed, it took the strange sense awareness of Alec with it. There was no time to be disappointed in the loss, however, because at that moment the humming of sterile magic within his chest was replaced by a steady, familiar thud.

Magnus nearly wept.

A heartbeat. His first in so, so long. He’d been missing the sensation for such a large part of his life and had been utterly convinced he would go the rest of his days empty and cold.

He hadn’t expected Alec. Alec, with his soldier’s hands and his open heart that was big enough for two. Who looked at Magnus like he was something worth cherishing. Who warmed Magnus by his very presence.

He reached out, tentatively placing his palm over Alec’s chest. The hard muscle there was achingly familiar. Magnus had traced it with his eyes and his hands and his tongue more times than he could count. But the gesture was brand new this time. His heart now beat under Alec’s strong chest, kept warm and safe by his body and his love.

The steady thud of Alec’s chest now beat in time with his own.

“I suppose it would be cliché of me to say that you hold my heart,” Magnus said, a smile stretching across his face as the reality of what they did sank in.

Alec laughed as he pulled Magnus close, fitting their bodies together. “I’d give you mine if I could.”

A wave of emotion lodged in his throat as Alec bent to place a kiss on his forehead. Magnus was used to protecting others, and bending all his considerable power to safeguard those who needed help. He wasn’t used to the feeling of being protected.

But standing safe and cared for in Alec’s arms, that’s exactly what he felt.

[lisatelramor]

3 sentence ficlets

Ok, so back in January I wrote some 3 sentence fics for a thing on dreamwidth. I have meant to post them since February, but literally every time I remembered to go look at them/edit/search back the prompt something has gone wrong with my computer. So here, have a few ficlets since I haven’t been around with writing much. (a slightly longer Howl’s Moving Castle fic to follow, if by slightly longer I mean more like 2 pages, not 100)

Kingdom Hearts: Kingdom Hearts, Riku, regrets

Once, before everything, Riku had thought of himself as the strong one, the oldest and therefor the wisest of his group of friends; the one to lead and plan and bring all of them to great things. It seems so simple and naive now, arrogant, shortsighted and harmful. When it came down to it, Riku's choices had nearly killed them all just because he thought he knew best, and that would always haunt him, that taint of darkness and fear that he'd make the wrong choice again--he hadn't meant to hurt his friends but he knew better now and he'd fight himself every day if he had to to keep from hurting them again.

 Howl's Moving Castle, Howl/Sophie, you're holding in your hands the two halves of my heart

Howl didn't know when he realized it was love. Maybe it was listening to Sophie and Calcifer bicker back and forth and the fond way he always let her win, or maybe it was when she didn't fall for his boyish smile like so many other women had in the past, or the stubborn glint in her eyes that meant trouble and worrisome things for him and his spells and spiders. It wasn't a logical thing, but he supposed hearts weren't logical things at all--she'd somehow managed to charm his heart when he didn't even have it in his chest and it pulsed its phantom echo in his veins all the same, as inescapable as the Witch of the Waste's abominable curse... and he wouldn't change a thing.

 Princess Tutu: Princess Tutu, any, "if you look away, even for an instant, then our hero will surely perish.”

The breath caught in Tutu's throat--she couldn't tear her eyes from the clash of swords. It felt like if she turned away it would all be over, one would be defeated and she wasn't sure what outcome she could even hope for in this moment. Mytho or Fakir; the thought of either of them being struck down by the other was equally upsetting. Blades slid against each other with a shriek. Fakir faltered. Words burst from Tutu's throat but she couldn't hear anything above that final awful clang--she hadn't looked away, but Fakir fell regardless.

Hunter x Hunter: Hunter x Hunter, Killua/Gon, first kiss

"I dare you," Killua said, grinning, "and you give me ten chocorobos if you chicken out." "Killua," Gon complained, his best friend's addiction to chocolate a little ridiculous by this point. "You scared?" Killua teased, poking Gon in the side. Gon narrowed his eyes and dragged Killua in to a kiss. Killua froze, eyes huge. "Killua, if you want me to kiss you, just ask!"

Kingdom hearts: Kingdom Hearts+any, Sora, visiting new worlds

The best part of a new world, Sora thought, besides the breath-taking moment of first seeing it in the gummy ship, was how different each one was. Some had humans, some were full of talking animals, some were creepy or wet or cold or full of aliens--and Sora never knew what he was going to get from that first sight of the world. He'd grown up on an island where seasons barely happened and you knew everyone who lived there from birth; there was nothing more magical than discovering someplace different and meeting someone new.

 Dragon Knights: Dragon Knights, Gil & Bierrez, So I guess we're good guys now? It feels kind of wrong, like we cheated," Gil said looking down at his hands that are, against all probability, his and alive and strong. "We were demons and yet here we are part of the dragon clan and in important positions. We didn't earn it."  Bierrez was perhaps one of the only people who could understand since he'd been in Rath as well; he didn't seem as troubled by the change though. "Didn't we? What was all that suffering for if not to lead us to a point where we can fix what caused it?"

  Detective Pikachu: Detective Pikachu, any, "you're not allowed to SAY words like that!"

Pikachu looked over the edge of the building and groaned, "Oh fu---" Tim slapped a hand over Pikachu's mouth and hissed, "You're not allowed to SAY words like that!" "They can't even understand me!" Pikachu said squirming free. "Sometimes a situation calls for a bit of swearing, just look!" Tim inched closer to the edge. "Oh....fuck."

Avatar the Last Airbender: Avatar: the Last Airbender, any, birthdays

"It's weird...I'm thirteen, but also a hundred and thirteen and I don't remember any of those birthdays," Aang said, looking a bit sad. Katara reached out, ready to pull him into a supportive hug, but Aang suddenly sat upright, grinning.  "Wait," he said excitedly, "since I've missed a hundred years of birthdays that means I can have a hundred catch-up birthday parties!"

Howl's Moving Castle: Howl's Moving Castle/Castle in the Air, disguised!Howl & kitten!Morgan, Sunday father and son

There was a small blond-haired child with the biggest blue eyes Eva had ever seen standing at her counter with a kitten in his arms. He had money on one fist, staring up at the assorted goodies behind the counter like they held the answers to the universe. "I want a really big thweet-roll," he said, "with frothting." 

"Of course, sweetheart," Eva said, pulling out a roll from the display. "Are your parents around?"

"They're shopping. Wanna thee my kitten?" He held up the little bundle of black fur. The kitten purred so hard it was vibrating.

"Aww, it's very cute."

"He'th like my thon," the boy said with all the solemnity a small child could manage.

Eva melted a little; children and baby animals were peak adorable. "I'm sure he's going to grow into a big strong kitty, too. Here's your roll."

"Thankth!" the boy lisped, grinning with gapped teeth. He stretched and set the handful of money on the counter. "Ith that enough?"

It was just short of what the roll cost by a half penny, but Eva wasn't going to tell him that, not with those big blue eyes looking at her so earnestly. "All good! Have a nice day, honey!"

"Thankth, ma'am," he said with perfect little manners, leaving with his kitten in one arm and his sweet roll in the other. 

Eva smiled after him, the encounter buoying her mood on an otherwise dull Sunday afternoon. At least until a few minutes later when a frazzled woman with reddish hair escaping from her hat every which way burst into the shop. 

"Have you seen a child? Blond with a kitten?" the woman asked, sounding a bit desperate.

"Yes, just a bit ago. He bought a sweet roll." Clearly this must be his mother and he had wandered off instead of having permission. "He turned right when he left."

"Thank you!" the woman said before rushing back out. Eva could swear she heard her say something about feeding fancy shoes to someone. Eva had the distinct feeling that she didn't want to know. Hopefully that poor woman found her son. He'd been such a sweet boy after all.

[dewitty1]

I was tagged

by @drarrymylove to say 10 things about myself, & Then by my lovely daughter @rose-grangerweasleyisbae, @drarrymylove (again, lol),  & @crystelgreene  sent me a get to know the blogger thingy, then @whipmyhairlikebangbang  sent me a 5 things I like about myself thing. Okay so here I am Smashing them all into one, because fact #1 I can be lazy AF sometimes. 

Age: I’ll be 49 on April 4th...

Birthplace: Outside of Memphis,Tennessee, USA. Fact #2 I like to say Y’all a lot, even though we only lived in Memphis until I was about 2. Though I did go back there for my Navy training which was a really fun coincidence ( CO INKY DINK).  And I like  to fake a southern accent sometimes too. Fact #3 I can pick up accents fairly well, I intend to practice my British accent when I’m in the UK next month.

Current time: about 4 pm pacific standard time

Drink you last had: Currently drinking Raspberry Lemonade

Easiest person to talk to: Probably the Dude @super-ultra-mega-kami-guru (aka my son) or my Bff who isn’t on tumblr.

Favorite Song: For which occasion? You’ve got to give me some kind of context here... I’ve got a shit ton of favorite songs, man... Right now I’m listening to my Favorites playlist, and it’s playing “I’m so Tired of Being Alone” by the Reverend Al Green. Hallelujah! Next up “ Going to California” by the legendary gods Led Zeppelin Fact #4 I sing almost all the time if i’m in a good mood. Like, half the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it. When we were driving across country from Mississippi to Seattle my dad made me move from behind him to behind my mom because I kept singing in his ear. I was like 7 or so. Oh, I CANNOT sing for shit....

Grossest memory: well I have a kid so... Also there was this one time my brother stepped on a nail and it went all the way through his foot, when he was like 4 or something....

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw, but I’m as loyal as a Hufflepuff

In love: What is love? (baby don’t hurt me) Dudes I’ve been single so long that I only know what love is by reading Drarry. And from my dude, and you, my friends. That’s it. Sad days... 

Jealous of people: I really shouldn’t be, should I? I’m so GahtDamb tired of being poor though, lemme tell you... I’m working on this...

Killed someone: Only in my head...

Love at first sight or should I walk by you again: I’m not oblivious unless I’m reading, lol... IDK about love at first sight though. Maybe butterflies though...

Middle name: its’ Ann. Fact #5 I was named after the Hollies’ song “Carrie-Anne”. (https://youtu.be/l_e--JwaJtY) Number of Siblings: one younger brother, and he’s the Golden Boy. I’m the Black Sheep.

One wish: Just one? More wishes...

Person you called last: My BFF.

Question you are always asked: “Do you make TeePees?” ( for work) or the other one is “Where did you get that tattoo?” usually indicating my Rocket Man tattoo on my right forearm. Fact #6 I have 10 tattoos - My first tattoo was a set of butterflies on my left butt-cheek at the ripe old age of 23. Then I got my Navy eagle in my left upper chest, a cat (somewhere :) ), then a lot later for my divorce I got a tramp stamp butterfly on my lower back, for my 40th birthday I got a flaming winged heart on my right inside bicep, then I got two on the same day - a Chinese zodiac symbol:The Rooster on my left outside ankle, and a little bug with my dude’s name & birthday on my right outside ankle. Then came some lyrics from Christina Aguilera’s song Beautiful on my left inside forearm, then the Rocket Man, then a BFF tattoo on my left inside ankle last year. Whee!

Reasons to smile: I’m going to the UK next month for my 49th birthday!

Song you last sang: 1999 by Prince

Time you woke up: many, many times during the night/early morning. I rolled out of bed around 10am or so though...

Underwear color: Tan

Worst habit: Procrastinating (on the internet especially ( T_T) side eye at Tumblr...) X_rays: Got a mammogram coming up soon, does that count? Last real x_ray was for my neck a couple years ago. I’ve got rooster beak calcification, and a fun calcification that’s set to poke through to my throat sometime? fun,,hey?

Favorite food: Delicious fucking food... 

Zodiac sign: Aries (WAR FUCK YEAH!!!) Chinese Zodiac - Rooster (cock, hahaha) Moon - Moon in Scorpio Ok more facts

Fact #7 I went to 11 different schools before the middle of ninth grade, because I was a Navy brat mostly. Fact #8 Everywhere we lived I’ve always had a cat. Even on Guam. I once had about 20 outdoor cats.

Fact #9 My family tree on my Father’s side basically stops at my great grandfather because his parents gave him to the neighbors, and then skedaddled. We have no idea what our real name is supposed to be.

Fact #10 I have a degree in Hospitality Management (Culinary Arts), and I taught at the same school I went to. I taught Dining Room & Banquet Management.

Things I like about myself: I’m a fantastic friend. I stand up for what I believe in, I try to be a good mom, I like that I know a lot about Music, Movies & food & I’ve got skills!  Thanks for these Y’all! Not going to tag anyone back though! 

Love, Carey  Bye!!! 

[veirasurana]

Finally finished a Minerva drabble (thanks stomach ache? I guess?) about why Minerva left her homeland. Enjoy!

Minerva knew a thing or two about running.

Julian had expressed the same sentiment when she ran from Nadia's castle and found him, though he had no idea how much she knew. Running had defined her. Oft it was characterized as a craven act, that only the truest coward joyfully executes when it is convenient. Such short sighted definitions made her bristle. Perhaps Julian berated himself for running, but Minerva only saw what could have been if he hadn't, and therefore, running was never a negative to her.

It was survival.

She sat in the guest bedroom, the seat she was in the highest of luxury, though she paid no mind to it. Although she had never been this rich, the familiarity of high end bedrooms and servants put her ill at ease, even the clothing made her nervous. She missed her fancy black dresses that she made herself, if only for the colour they sported. She worried of dropping something on Nadia's choice of wear and ruining it. She had the previous ones, and it made her stomach twist.

She sipped at the wine she had requested before she settled in for the night. Stop paying too much attention to these things, she thought to herself. It will only make you sick.

She hadn't been sick since she was sixteen.

Her thoughts delved deep into her mind, and she could not stop the memories from dancing over her eyes. Her familiar Calcifer wiggled his ears in concern, crawling over to her clumsily like an ungraceful bat would. He licked her hand. She smiled at the tiny bat, scratching the top of his head. He could always sense when her thoughts drifted to a bad place. She loved him for it.

She closed her eyes and sighed, just getting it over with. It was going to be a long night anyway.

-------

The sixteen year old girl checked her mirror three times before she even considered going to mother. She had to be spotless, put together perfectly. She had already angered her today, so she would be extra critical if she wanted to smooth things over with an apology. She chose her best jewelry, fixed her hair into an elegant braided bob, and scoured her green, fur lined dress for any spots of dirt. Just like the last time, there was nothing. She took a deep breath. Time to go.

She walked through the hallways glowing with light quickly, but not too quickly, lest she shine terribly from sweat. She greeted the servants politely as she passed, and the guards even more warmly. The guards were her favourite people in this house. They let her sneak out every night so that she could visit her friends, especially Madam Viveka, and they never breathed a word to her mother. Her face lit up when she passed by the head of the guard, sir Konstantin, who had always been so kind to her as a child, who comforted her on her bad days. He was much older than the rest of the guard, with white hair and a sharp white beard. Even as a child, his hair had been that colour.

He smiled at her. "<I am not used to seeing you about the estate at this hour. Only when the sun has gone down.>"

"<I'm looking for mother,>" Minerva said, "<have you seen her?>"

His smile vanished. "<She is in the rec room with your father. Are you in trouble?>"

"<N-no. I'm simply apologizing for earlier.>"

"<You did nothing wrong. You only mixed up the common words 'cat' and 'bat.' They sound too similar, the language is confusing. Not like ours.>"

Minerva shrugged. "<If I had mixed those words up with someone from those countries, I'd make mother a laughing stock.>"

"<Minovshka,>" sir Konstantin sighed, "<you are never going to be an embarrassment. And you don't need to apologize for silly things.>"

She smiled warmly when he called her that. This country's version of her name, if her father hadn't named her. A popular name that came from his own country, apparently. She started for the rec room. "<I'll be okay,>" she said as she waved to him. "<I promise.>"

But as she continued down the hall, her lips thinned and her heart beat faster. She wasn't sure how mother would react today. It was always a certain level of disappointment, and whether anger mixed in with it depended on the day. She hoped she wouldn't get sick this week. That would definitely make her angry.

Outside the rec door, Minerva leaned against the wall and wiped down her dress once more to triple make sure it was acceptable. She heard the voices of her parents, her mother speaking quickly and the most, while her father added his own comment in between when he had the chance. She heard her name spoken and her ears burned. What were they talking about? She leaned into the door to hear them better.

"<-wit's end. I don't know how I can get her to simply be better. Goodness, you would think after all these lessons she would finally understand it.>"

"< I don't know->"

"<Of course you don't know, that's why I'm always the one teaching her. Gods, what I'd do to hire one of those mind witches, maybe then she'd finally do what she needs to.>"

A terrible twitch shot through Minerva's body. Witches of legend that could worm their way into your very being and control you from the inside out. There were stories of witches pretending to be advisers while they completely took over kings and queens, ruling a country by proxy. Witches that took over entire armies for their own. They were said to be the best serial killers without killing, monsters in the night that are never seen or heard because they use others to do everything. There was no escape from their thrall, their slavery. That was what mother wanted.

"<Oh, don't give me that look. I was joking. It isn't as if they exist.>"

It isn't as if they exist. "<But if they did...>" Minerva whispered blankly. She moved, somehow, away from that door, down the hall despite her legs wanting to give out. Her stomach twisted painfully, and she fought hard not to throw up, if she did there was no going back-

She covered her mouth, muffling a scream that so desperately wanted to come out. She made it to her room, ignoring all the looks the servants gave her as she passed, and barred the door with her desk. She had studied magic as was demanded of her by mother. She wanted to burn it all, every last book, every last remnant of this horrid art. It was all proof that her mother didn't love her enough to want her own agency.  

In her heart, she knew all along. But she had hoped -dreamed-  that it wasn't so, that one day, she would realize what she was doing and change. But that was a child's fantasy.

And now, she was no child.

She packed bags. Filled them with her jewels, clothes, sentimental things. She stayed for one more night, telling mother she was sick, which was received with nothing but coldness and anger. She said her goodbyes to the guard, especially sir Konstantin. He cried big tears when she told him her plan, but hugged her anyway, saying he'd miss her. She snuck out of her room, commanding that no one enter her sickroom. She went to her favourite place, to madam Viveka.

"<Minovshka,>" Viveka exclaimed brightly. "<This is a surprise! I never see you before dark.>"

Viveka's hair now had streaks of grey, her loveliness as vibrant as it always was. She wore a feathered gown of fiery red, her eyes winged with the same red. Her hair was done up in an impossibly luxurious hairclip that shone with gold and white stone. There was no one Minerva wanted to be more than her. And now she had to say goodbye. Never again would she hear her sing, watch her dance, marvel at her grace and confidence. She threw her arms around her, tears in her eyes and trembling.

Viveka petted her hair gently. "<Oh, my girl, what has that woman done to you now?>"

Minerva blurted it all out, slowly, her tears not stopping. "<I have to leave, madam,>" she sobbed, "<this is goodbye.>"

She waited for her to say not to go, but Viveka instead held her teary face in her hands, smiling. "<You must do what you need to, darling. I will never forget you. You will always be my girl.>" She took her hair out of the beautiful hairclip, handing it to her. "<Always.>"

That night, Minerva burned her room. She watched the flames consume her window from below, wearing a dark cloak that hid her face. And she revelled in the freedom.

------

Years later

She held the tiny bat as if he were made of glass.    

Asra chuckled. "Familiars are not that fragile, you know. You won't hurt him."

"And you say this magical bond...." she began, "it's unbreakable? Until you die?"

He smiled. "It's unconditional."

His eyes widened and lips parted in surprise as tears welled up in her eyes. He had never seen her cry. "I had no idea," she laughed, "that magic could be so wonderful."

[tea-and-toblerones]

I hijacked this.

1: Name:: Deanna 2: Age:: 24 3: 3 Fears:: spiders, being told I love you when they really don't, utter failure 4: 3 things I love:: Video games, music and art 5: 4 turns on:: Dorkiness, awkwardness, kindness and a sense of humor 6: 4 turns off:: flip floppy behavior, narcissism, arrogance, and thinking yo ass is better than everyone else. 7: My best friend:: @bestiejessie 8: Sexual orientation:: Hetro, but with an appreciation for the female form 9: My best first date:: pff, I'll let you know when that happens, yeah? I've never really been taken out 10: How tall am I:: 5′7" 11: What do I miss:: being as carefree as I was 12: What time were I born:: Monday, August 24, 1992 at 9:18 PM 13: Favourite color:: Red. Blood red. 14: Do I have a crush:: My heart only poops it's pants for celebs and fictional characters at the mo'. It's easier that way. 15: Favourite quote:: “I may be an asshole, but I'm not a 100% Dick" Peter "Star Lord" Quill 16: Favourite place:: By the water. On the water. Floating in the water. I love water. 17: Favourite food:: PIZZA IS LIFEEEEE 18: Do I use sarcasm:: Nah mate, not at all. 19: What am I listening to right now:: The Final Fantasy VII Soundtrack 20: First thing I notice in new person:: eyes, scent, timbre of voice, and their vibe 21: Shoe size:: 8 22: Eye color:: gunsteel blue 23: Hair color:: medium brown. For now. 24: Favourite style of clothing:: Grunge queen in the fall/winter Cute and lacy in the spring/summer 25: Ever done a prank call?:: not that I'm aware. I have terrible anxiety 27: Meaning behind my URL:: I just love tea and toblerones mate. 28: Favourite movie:: Howl's Moving Castle 29: Favourite song:: Yellow by Coldplay 30: Favourite band:: Imagine Dragons 31: How I feel right now:: Chill/excited 32: Someone I love:: EVERYONE. Cept for one single person. 33: My current relationship status:: Emotionally attached to a fictional character cos I'm trash. That answers that, eh? 34: My relationship with my parents:: Me and my mam are tight. My dad...nah mate, not so much. 35: Favourite holiday:: HALLOWEEN BITCHES! 36: Tattoos and piercing I have:: My gauges. 37: Tattoos and piercing I want:: Sylleblossoms and a sword from FFX, Calcifer from Howl's Moving Caste, a sea scape, trees, a dragon... 38: The reason I joined Tumblr:: I needed an Ed outlet before my friends murdered me. 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?:: He cut his face open to be more like Ed so I would take him back. I don't hate anyone, but that boy is pretty damn close to it. 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?:: My brother texts me WAKE UP from time to time. Do those count? 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?:: Texted, yeah. Messaged, nah, just licked their face. 42: When did I last hold hands?:: romantically? Last year. In general? Last night. 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?:: pff what is this morning you speak of? 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?:: Sure have. 45: Where am I right now?:: In the FFXV/Ed trash heap where I belong. 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?:: Jessie if they're not already passed out. 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? :: loud 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? :: unfortunately 49: Am I excited for anything?:: THIS WEEKEND 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?:: yes 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?:: 25% of the time? Ish 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?:: earlier today 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?:: I be surprised he grew a spine and kissed a girl other than me, but that's about it. Probably cheer him on. Get him a drink. I'm such a bro 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?:: nah mate, I hardly trust anyone 55: What is something I disliked about today?:: almost falling outta a chair cos I fell asleep 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?:: Ed Sheeran 57: What do I think about most?:: that I'm trapped in a stagnate place and I'll never get free from it. 58: What’s my strangest talent?:: I can remember exactly how people/ feel. Like their skin and whatnot, like I'm physically touching them, but im not. And their scent and their voice. And their eyes. Is that a talent? 59: Do I have any strange phobias?:: the snuggle bear creeps me the fuck out. 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?:: behind 61: What was the last lie I told?:: that I was gonna go to bed early. Does it count if it's to yourself? 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?:: video chatting cos I have a fear that people can't understand what I'm saying due to the fact I used to have an impediment with a lisp so at least they can read my lips. 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? :: sure do. Seen em. Felt em. Have one thats attached to me. He's cool. Chases away the bad stuff. And yeah this universe is way to big for us to be the only ones 64: Do I believe in magic?:: yep 65: Do I believe in luck?:: very much so 66: What’s the weather like right now?:: kinda coldish? But not terrible (I'm horrible at judging how cold it is. I never wear a jacket) 67: What was the last book I’ve read?:: King Killer Chronicles 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?:: I'm weird so of course I do 69: Do I have any nicknames?:: Nanna (which I always go by) 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?:: um, well one of my insides got very angry with me and hurt and I couldn't move and was fevered and puking and made my back hurt. I was too stubborn to go get checked out so I dunno what happened but it got better on its own. 71: Do I spend money or save it?:: both. Usually save though 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?:: I've got quite the long tongue, I can actually stick it up my nose if I tried. (Drunk me has) 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?:: Not that I can see 74: Favourite animal?:: Foxes, Ravens, and raccoons 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?:: Partying with my ladies getting ready to bar hop with the band 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?:: Morningstar. He owns a nightclub called Lux in LA. 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?:: Thrift Shop 78: How can you win my heart?:: by being an adorable awkward dorky nerd like me 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?:: something utterly ridiculous probably 80: What is my favorite word? :: probably a swear. 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @weareedsobfg (imma cheat too) @ferskendag, @tenerife-lucy @lordedsheeran, uh....I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? :: pterodactyl noises and arm flaps cos social anxiety 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?:: it would be quicker to list the ones that weren't. 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?:: the power of imagination (whatever I can imagine happens) 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?:: How do you feel 86: What is my current desktop picture?:: A picture of graveyard I took in New Orleans 87: Had sex?:: yeah 88: Bought condoms?:: yeah 89: Gotten pregnant?:: no 90: Failed a class?:: math. All the math 91: Kissed a boy?:: yeah 92: Kissed a girl?:: yeah 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?:: I have in the snow 94: Had job?:: yeah had job 95: Left the house without my wallet?:: almost everytime 96: Bullied someone on the internet?:: Nah mate 97: Had sex in public?:: Sure have 98: Played on a sports team?:: INDOOR PERCUSSION BITCHES 99: Smoked weed?:: Not smoked it, but had some pretty delicious banana nut pot bread. 100: Did drugs?:: besides the pot bread, nah mate 101: Smoked cigarettes?:: No 102: Drank alcohol?:: Oh yeah 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?:: Once upon a time 104: Been overweight?:: very much so 105: Been underweight?:: when I was born 106: Been to a wedding?:: I've been to so many 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?:: ALL DAY, ERRYDAY 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?:: I'm a binge watching mofo 109: Been outside my home country?:: no but I wanna 110: Gotten my heart broken?:: yeah 111: Been to a professional sports game?:: Yes and I don't even like sports. 112: Broken a bone?:: surprisingly no 113: Cut myself?:: all the time on accident 114: Been to prom?:: no, I was the weird loner outsider kid. You know the one. 115: Been in airplane?:: Sure have 116: Fly by helicopter? :: no but I've been in one 117: What concerts have I been too?:: Alice Cooper and Watch Them Rot 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?:: Kinda ish. 119: Learned another language?:: I used to know a lil Spanish but now, not so much 120: Wore make up?:: every time I leave the house even though I don't need it anymore cos I got my eczema under control (the miracle of aloe yall) 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?:: Nope 20 122: Had oral sex?:: I have 123: Dyed my hair?:: so much. 124: Voted in a presidential election?:: No 125: Rode in an ambulance?:: Nope 126: Had a surgery?:: Nope 127: Met someone famous?:: uh, mickey, minnie, goofy and pluto? 128: Stalked someone on a social network?:: who hasnt? 129: Peed outside?:: so many times 130: Been fishing?:: yep 131: Helped with charity?:: yep 132: Been rejected by a crush?:: *laughs to infinity* CAN'T BE IF YOU NEVER TELL EM (yes, yes I have. Indirectly) 133: Broken a mirror?:: So many I'm cursed forever 134: What do I want for birthday?:: the same thing I wanted last year. A hot ginger. (And video games. Always video games) 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?:: 2 boys. And maybe like William or James or something weird cos I love weird names 136: Was I named after anyone? :: Deanna Troi from Star Trek: the Next Generation. 137: Do I like my handwriting?:: yeah it's pretty okay 138: What was my favourite toy as a child?:: MY PINK POWER RANGER ACTION FIGURE 139: Favourite Tv Show?:: Supernatural, Sherlock, Doctor Who, American Horror Story, Arrow, Flash, Legends of Tomorrow...don't make me pick one. 140: Where do I want to live when older?:: with someone I care about. 141: Play any musical instrument?:: piano, marimba, xylophone, vibraphone, bells, drums, guitar (not well, I have ZERO rhythm) 142: One of my scars, how did I get it?:: playing with my dog 143: Favourite pizza toping?:: If I had to pick one, pepperoni but mushroom olive and pineapple please 144: Am I afraid of the dark?:: nah, that's where all the stars are 145: Am I afraid of heights?:: nah 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?:: no, I was a mild child 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?:: Oh you mean my life? 148: What I’m really bad at:: everything 149: What my greatest achievments are:: well I stopped someone from killing themselves. I also tend to make people laugh and feel better. 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me:: I only said I loved you so you would stay (though literally already knew it but worst fear right there) 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery:: get outta debt. Get my friends outta debt. 152: What do I like about myself:: people say I'm sunshine. I like that. 153: My closest Tumblr friend:: @ferskendag and @tenerife-lucy 154: Something I fantasise about:: being happy with someone I care about, being financially stable while doing my dream job and traveling the world. 155: Any question you’d like? Do you know the muffin man?

[aroha-x-astro-blog]

Alphabet Tag!!

lol i just went through my activity and saw that i was tagged in this!! @moon-binnie i’m sorry i just saw this!!! and thank you for tagging me~~~~ i love being tagged in things.

A - Age: ** singing ** 16 going on 17

B - Biggest Fear: bugs, especially spiders,  

C - Current Time: 11:47 am

D - Drink you last had: iced water

E - Easiest person to talk to: my friends (( don’t need to change this one ))

F - Favorite Song: right now it’s...... Imfact’s In The Club. go check these boys out

G - Grossest Memory: can’t think of one rn... probably bc i blocked those memories out on purpose

H - Horror yes or Horror no: idk what horror is could you please define it for me??

I - In Love: lmao nope

J - Jealous of people: nope

K - Killed someone: not yet...

L - Love at First Sight or Should I Walk By Again: i would wanna walk by again

M - Middle Name: Mohamed

N - Number of Siblings: 5 younger, 3 brothers and 2 sisters someone save me

O - One Wish: more wishes???

P - Person you Called Last: my aunt

Q - Question You’re Always Asked: ‘why?’ i get asked this all the time

R - Reason to Smile: really anything makes me smile

S - Song You Sang Last: Replay by SHINee 

T - Time You Woke Up: 9:37 am

U - Underwear Color: black

V - Vacation Destination: your heart to whoever’s reading this 😘

W - Worst Habit: "i’ll do it later i’ll have enough time~~” every time i say that istg i can hear my future self saying “i hate you”

X - X-Rays Had: none

Y - Your Favorite Food: my mom’s lasagna or icecream cake or flan or... basically any food 

Z - Zodiac Sign: try to guess, i’m curious what you think it is (( not changing this too lol ))

thank you for tagging me~~!! I love doing tag games like this. @anyone who sees this please feel free to tag me in anything!

I’m tagging my biggest fans on this blog: @lovethyfandoms2 @calcifer-rose @astrobinwoo and @sassysheepsenpai  but only if you wanna do it.