#I LOVE A FUCKING BEEP. PERHAPS A BOOP

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

music tabs i currently have open and been switching between in the last week: jack stauber, björk, talking heads, lcd soundsystem, and beck

[riacte]

Space Opera AU dashboard simulator 2 (but there's plot if you squint) (probably worse than its predecessor)

🚀 renthepilot

HAPPY BITRHDAY TO ME!! I TURN 7!!! :D :D :D <3 <3 <3 RD

❤️ falsewell

Happy 7th birthday Ren! :)

🚀 renthepilot

Thank u FalsE!!!!!! :DDDDDD >.< RD

🍵 cinnamontea Follow

... Why is my 17yo ET1blr mutual talking to a 7yo on Sunblr. I came here for analysis posts but apparently she's babysitting her cousin or perhaps a strangely intelligent dog??

❤️ falsewell

I mean, I would be worried if a 7yo was piloting the glider I race in 🤨

🍵 cinnamontea Follow

WDYM THAT GUY IS YOUR RACE PARTNER? OMFG I AM SO SORRY

🍀 et1vision Follow

Chat do you remember when we found RK and QoH's Sunblr accounts from when they weren't famous and were just two kids in illegal races. Because it was hysterical. Hands up if you thought falsewell was someone's canon url and not QoH herself.

🪓 handoftheking

That interaction was pretty cute to be honest. Ren's still 7 the last I checked.

🪸 hoes4redking Follow

[deep sigh] littlewood at the scene of the crime as always

#WHYYYYYYY is he chronically online #he needs to be stopped and locked up #i bet he scrolls through the treebark tag every day #he knows Too Much #do you think he brings up sunblr during dinner #and etho and bigb look at him like hes insane

7,207 notes

🔥 yaoihell Follow

save me queen of hearts

🔥 yaoihell Follow

queen of hearts

🔥 yaoihell Follow

queen of hearts save me

🏐 apollos-dodgeball 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀 Follow

Congratulations on the prophecy!

[Beep boop, this is a gimmick blog!]

🔥 yaoihell Follow

what the actual fuck.

🌼 fast-and-bifurious Follow

i think i hauve the plague

47,981 notes

🫐 toxicblueberry Follow

hi babes the demons in my head won so new fic!!

i'm your biggest fan, i'll follow you until you love me, pa-pa paparazzi

pairing: the red king x blue stalker (they/them) (exterra 1 rpf)

summary: why are you as a bounty hunter so intent on hunting ren down? what do you want to do with him? pin him against a wall and kiss him until he's breathless and melting like putty in your hands?

word count: 10.1k

tags: enemies to lovers, angst, hurt no comfort, whump, ust, no actual smut, making out, blood, slight knifeplay, submissive rk, open ending

Keep reading

🏹 queenofheartsfanclub Follow

Listen, I don't do RPF, I can handle Treebark (because I have eyes), but this is crossing a line. Especially after the accusations by RK. I think his evidence is pretty compelling.

🫐 toxicblueberry Follow

dead dove do not eat. i am aware this is a fucked up dynamic but it's fictional. it's not like the real blue stalker has a toxic codependent attraction to the guy they're assigned to kill (btw i mained qoh so i completely understand where you're coming from)

🫐 toxicblueberry Follow

oh.

🏹 queenofheartsfanclub Follow

hey

so do you wanna kiss before the haters get to you?

🫐 toxicblueberry Follow

of course. can we get married

#love can be found on the battlefield in more ways than one #fave post #annoying treebark fans fuck off!!!!!!

1109 notes

🌹 fyeahroseduo Follow

Coming out as a falsedog shipper is harder than coming out as gay

🦇 starshipspachelbel Follow

TEN YEARS????

Time is not real

🌃 nightpatrols Follow

I had vivid flashbacks. I feel faint. This post caused so much drama omfg. I need a treebark equivalent on my desk by 8am sharp next morning

🪓 handoftheking

Coming out as a Treebark shipper is harder than coming out as bi

🌃 nightpatrols Follow

WHAT THE FUFHUBFBFUOUOFFUCK

#HES IN OUR WALLS #HE STARTED THE SHIP #this is gonna sweep the next unhinged moment poll #??!?1!?!???!?!?! #HATE THIS LUMIAN GLOWY ASS #btw for non et1 mutuals: this man is literally bi #yeah hes really gay for his pilot. yeah we all know #theyre always holding hands and shit #edit: DID HE REBLOG THIS AT 7:30AM #IDK HOW PLANETZONES CONVERSATION WORKS #*conversion #listen i failed school 2 years in a row ok 😭

19,626 notes

🎵 daily-music Follow

Music video of the day is: R8cer Boi by Avril Lavigne!

🎵 daily-music Follow

who the fuck is renn dog

🎵 daily-music Follow

who has little wood

🎵 daily-music Follow

why are y'alls twink racers larping as royals from medieval era planet earth

🎵 daily-music Follow

sorry for calling the queen of hearts a twink. im sorry women

#im so done with yalls bullshit #who are these people #why do they show up in my tags

898 notes

[pidgefudge]

SO. i have listened to @gooboogy 's wonderful green album. and i wrote down my thoughts on each song. and now i am putting them here!!

"thoughts" being actually somewhat coherent comments that devolve into What Would This Be In A Video Game because this is me we're working with after all

and you reading this. yes you. go listen to it

verdant: oooough blorpy,,,, very cool i like. good beat it's quite foot tappable. also the name itself might be a new vocal stim. verdant. vvvverrrrrdant.

halls: much noises!! the instrumence in this scratch my brain in a good way. feels a bit like im 7 years old watchinf my brother play 2d mario stages and reimagining the music

agua: oooohh arpeggio action and a SICK beat. once again the Noises are lovely. big fan of all 3 so far but this one in particular methinks. however i have many more songs to go (!!)

doot doot: very fun i also like this one a lot :3 and coming to you from my one-track autistic mind: this album would be a fantastic game soundtrack

side note i know im writing less for some of these but thats bc im experiencing them in shapes and colors more than expressable words. trust me they're stirring the brain stew

going for a walk: i know the title is about a walk but im envisioning this as the soundtrack to a sort of road trip montage animation thing. specifically my road trip with family from san francisco to la. oh yes this ending is us finally getting to the hotel and me flopping onto the bed

forward: im liking the melody here a lot <33 this album is making me want to boot up lmms again and try my hand at original music,,, ive only ever attempted remixes (i tried to do aquarium park from sonic colors a few years ago and gave up but now i kinda wanna go back to it,,, i wonder if i was cooking) ok yes back to the actual song whoops this one is soo cool one of my faves so far

snag: i like these opening chords!! i dont know what you actually call them but the like. buildup parts?? you know?? those bits??? big fan OOH and a uh. build down (lol) bit too! also liking the sparkly chimey instrumence

blazen: OHHH YESSS this would be the theme for my favorite antagonist in the hypothetical game that i am apparently going to be referencing multiple times (dimentio and mr L came to mind immediately) absolutely jamming

beep boop: fuck yeah man it sure does OH SPOOKY NOTES OH OH COOL BEAT ASWELL i am in for a fun time this is. also the theme of my favorite antagonist. but the battle theme i think. oh hell yeah the orchestra hits. yes yes definitely battle theme. sorry for putting all these in a vgm context shfjdkfkssghf i just listen to a lot of it so thats how my brain parses instrumentals

hunt: strimgs :3 wohhh this is so cool. buzzy in a good way. golden brown triangles and other spiky shapes. that's kinda meaningless to anyone but me but. oh nice more Noises always love the Noises

overwhelm: theme for when i have a project due the next day and am swamped with other homework shdjdksfjdh

VERDANT!: once more with gusto!! loving the faster tempo. constellationy crystally instrument is particularly pleasing. oooughh so gooddddd

creepin': spacey!! im watching a crew set out in their little shuttle, oblivious to the horrors awaiting them on their station

envy: this is a boss fight that's emotionally heavy for the protagonists. perhaps fighting a former friend or mentor or team member

whomp whomp: quite a tricksy track!! some sort of haunted place,,,, maybe the place where the previous battle takes place. maybe it's actually a ghost (especially if the protagonist had some role in their death and feels crushing guilt) (bonus points if the ghost openly expresses resentment for the protag)

gromulous: the word ever. final boss' lair for sureee. yeah this song sure is gromulous. idk how else to describe it you hit the nail on the head

largemouth: oooh a bit silly but also cool guy. im thinking some sort of underground secret society/lab thing they have to infiltrate that's hiding a Sinister Secret (the big plot twist of the game) doesn't even have to physically be underground it could be a moon base situation. maybe i should just make this whole thing into a scifi space rpg

a way out: i can see this as the final boss music and as you get further in the fight it ramps up. i know i already assigned songs to the main antagonist but shhhhh. (or i can always pull a super paper mario in terms of antagonists)

under over: oh!! i love this one!! hometown theme. chill and familiar but still upbeat rather than sleepy. and it has a very strong nostalgia factor,,,,, in love with this song it might be my favorite. but there are still 3 more so!

float: this beginning is very cool im loving the vibe. dire dire docks but make it just after sunset and watch the ocean come alive with bioluminescent lights and fish raves. i guess it isnt a space game anymore. or maybe dream sequence beach episode?? WOAHHH OCEAN MAGICANT i might be cooking with this one Hold On. yesyesyes ok some sort of trip/dream where theyre shrunk down marinauts (whatever ocean prefix) as opposed to astronauts and exploring a cool coral reef/ocean floor area and talking to the sea life and woahhhhhh this would look gorgeous in pixel art. tbh this one could be in its own game considering how vivid the imagery is

outside: post-final-boss world returning to normal/person being rescued or uncorrupted/whatever magical thing happening. very fond of the bird chirps too <33 OH MUSIC BOX SOUNDS i also adore this one. i think the ending of this game is kinda bittersweet. we saved the world/person/whatever but At A Cost. this is sooooo pretty. would also transition well into credits

Green: and roll credits!! this would be the kind of credits theme i sway in my seat and contemplate the game to. the entire album is fantastic and these last few especially have been so lovely

[tsuki-sennin]

Beep Boop. Long time, no see, Tarou! My loathsome copy! Momo... Momota Saburo? Can I call Don Killer that? Don Hakai? Would perhaps Don Amour be appropriate? Don Magia? Don Ark?

He's a robot, is my point.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Murasame-kun goes a little cray cray once in a while, but he's okay!

-...oh Christ, I forgot Miho was back.

-Christ Tarou, do you ever have a quiet day free of shenanigans?

-Just kidding, I love you *chu*

-Ohhhhhh, that's a Ryusoul Gold I spy! ...Canalo's like the total opposite of Jirou, now that I think about it.

-Damn, Don Killer's just... totally barehanded, huh?

-Jirou and Haruka are finally paying their tabs! Yatta!

-Oh, and Shinichi and Tsuyoshi too, I guess. ...everybody be sure to set your KijiBro alarms, they will go off sometime soon.

-Jesus Christ, people can't get enough of Don Kaito!

-...neither can I, to be fair, but holy frack

-Terasaki-san! The pleaseman!

-Oh?

-Haruka, don't dig through somebody's possessions!

-Oh hey, that's Kohaku Shida's actual birthday, that's a fun detail

-...that's uh, not Yuuki Beppu's birthday, but we'll run with it!

-Aaaand Hifumi Suzuki's too!

-DON KAITO

-WHY WOULD YOU SET IT TO THOSE DATES YOU FOOL

-Do Not Fucking Press This Fucking Button (TM)

-"...okay." <- Totally gonna press that fucking button.

-ENCOURAGE HIM

-Great to see they're getting along, at least!

-Aaaaaaand, we're in trouble.

-All across the city, people felt a shudder.

-Don Kira!

-Ware wa Meshia nari! Ha ha ha!

-Ooooooooh, I don't know if I said this, but I love that look for Kouhei Higuchi, it looks so pretty.

-Ohhhhhh, he took that very cold.

-Man, that there Don Clan seem very short sighted.

-Oh hey Sononi! So uh, bad news, it's possible that Don Killer's gonna cancel the series by turning all the Donbrothers into meat products of various states of overcooked, but I have good news! I happen to know a talent scout for 765 Productions, always looking for new idols! ...we might need to pull some strings to get you a legal identity, but don't worry. I know a guy, just call this number and ask for a new dust filter for a Hoover MaxExtract-

-Ohhhhh, this dude's a fuckboy!

-Speaking of whom, hello Tsubasa! /j

-"Humans can't hurt me. ...also, your girlfriend is literally still comatose."

-Who's that Hitotsu-ki!

-Ohhhh, this one's very easy! It's a Denge-Ki!

-Don Time!

-Ohhhhh, Sononi knows.

-"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"

-"DON KILLER"

-"DON WHAT NOW"

-To be fair, this isn't that different from how Tarou used to treat the squad (Haruka especially) in the beginning.

-You know it's bad when even Tarou says "fuck this, we're outta here!"

-HKJKHKLHG TSUBASA NOOOOO

-Seems pretty fucked up to make the Donbrothers' executioner look like their boss.

-Holy shit, Tarou :(

-Oh hi, Sonoi.

-Yeah, Sononi didn't help us earlier, thanks for that.

-C'mon Tarou, we don't really need that "Stay out of this" right now.

-Ohhhhhhhh, Don Killer's here.

-Banana Pafa.

-Parufaito!

-Banana Parfaio!

Seems like he's enjoying it.

-...Don Kaito, what the fuck

-Ohhhh, seems like that mustard's causing an error.

-"Sonoi, the council already hates us, do you really wanna risk dying over this?"

-"We are saving our boyfriends and Sonoza's weird annoying manga friend."

-So much for "not attacking" Noto, huh?

-SONOI HJKHL

-De-mustarded.

-True Hero.

-Heeeeey, Kaito. Whatcha doin' there?

-Don Killer-Killer.

-Forever Hero?

-Beep!

-Awwwwww, Jirou loves his dad :)

-Helloooo, Crane Lady!

-Hey, so uh... the Don Clan created another massive mess, turns out. Have you considered helping us out, even a little?

-TSUYOSHI'S WRITING A WILL

-OH WELL FUCK THAT I GUESS, VALOR TME

-...oooooor not.

-"OH FUCK, IT'S KIJINO"

-Two fail men can't fight robots.

-Very nice, Shinichi. I will pass this onto my children.

-Is this Don Killer's "execution" method?

-All in the same god-dang ward.

-Terasaki-saaaaan?

-.

-Ohhh.

-JIROU NO-

-Hey there, Haruka.

-Dyin' sure sucks, huh?

-"Manga, huh? ...How dull. Rejected."

-"No dying unless you draw something worthwhile!"

-Donbura Ko!

-HE BIT THE FUCKING SWORD

-Zenryoku Zenkai!

-...Zettai Zetsubou!

-Barf missiles!

-OH?

-Is that

-S

-Saruhara

-Okay, thanks!

-Guess he's helping us now!

-Don Kira Kira!

-Oh sorry Miss Tamaki, we kinda forgot about you.

-Jirou's getting his crunches in!

-Admirable resolve, Tsuyoshi!

-...agonizing pain though.

-Aesthetics!

-QUE BOM! Ryu So Cool!

-Omikoshi Soul! Kyo! Ryu! Soul! Doul! Kono Kanji! Omikoshi!

-Big Bird!

-Here comes the Big One!

-Guess they're just.

-Fighting forever now!

-Oh god, the Kagome motif

-Hooray, Dad's home!

-J

-Jirou, were you

-Folding a penguin just now?

-SONONI JIROU'S INDICATING SOMETHING REAL WHAT THE FUCK YOU DON'T JUST DROP "Let's run away together, Tsubasa-san!" ON ME AND NOT ACT LIKE THIS ISN'T OVERWHELMING ME

-Absolutely insane episode. In a good way at least, as usual.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Dear Evan Hansen

You may have seen some ~online discourse~ about the film Dear Evan Hansen, an adaptation of the 2016 Broadway musical, and you might have wondered what all the hubbub is about. I mean, it’s a feel good story about a senior in high school, Evan Hansen (Ben Platt), who has some pretty severe anxiety and depression. While trying to fulfill an assignment from his therapist to write a letter to himself, his letter gets picked up by another student, Connor (Colton Ryan) - and later that day, Connor kills himself. Connor’s grieving parents and sister Zoe (Amy Adams, Danny Pino, and Kaitlyn Dever) are desperate to learn more from the boy they think was Connor’s best friend - after all, Connor’s suicide note was a letter addressed to “Dear Evan Hansen.” And, as you can imagine, Evan tells them about the unfortunate mistake and sits with them in their grief as they struggle to pick up the pieces of their lives. 

Just kidding! He lies to them, repeatedly, elaborately, expansively for months, constructing an entire false friendship with Connor that never happened, and ingratiating himself into the wealthy nuclear family he never had, in large part because he wants to get into Zoe’s pants! THIS IS THE PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY. Oh, and it’s a musical so there is a lot of singing and crying and singing WHILE crying and sometimes crying and not singing at all. But the #inspiration, you guys. 

Things I liked:

Pretty much everything but the story and Ben Platt’s performance. The supporting cast is stacked, and all of them do a great job at elevating material scraped directly out of a diaper worn by someone who just chewed their way through a copy of the DSM-5. 

A couple of the songs are damn catchy - “Waving Through a Window” and “You Will Be Found” are standouts for a reason - and here’s the thing, Platt sings them well. But as you’ll discover, there’s a lot more to a movie musical than just singing your part. 

Stephen Chbosky, the man behind every deep thought I and a lot of people in my generation had in 2006 after he wrote The Perks of Being a Wallflower, is a pretty good director. I particularly enjoyed the fanvid-type cuts in “Waving Through a Window” in conjunction with the lyrics, and his use of interstitial shots to flashbacks (and sometimes flashforwards!) is a neat little bit of shorthand that I thought was used sparingly enough to be effective. 

Amy Fucking Adams. She’s holding on so hard, so desperately to the idea of who her son could have been, rather than the reality of who he was, and she is full of such deep pain that is masked by an almost endless supply of patience with Evan and relentless positivity. All this made me want was Enchanted 2 even worse than I already did. 

Super into everything Zoe wears - the costuming department did a great job, and now all I want to do is live in mom jeans and baggy sweaters.

Did I Cry? I teared up a couple of times because I’m not a completely heartless bastard and when Amy Adams offered Evan Connor’s college money, my heart broke for the lie Evan had thrust upon her, and Julianne Moore’s song got me good, because she’s just a single mom to Evan who is doing her goddamn best. 

Things I hated more than the time I dropped a frozen gallon container of fruit cocktail on my pinkie toe in my parents’ garage and it turned black and I thought it was gonna fall off:

Ben Platt is 28 years old. He originated the role of Evan Hansen on Broadway, so in many respects it makes sense that he plays the role in the movie, except for the one kinda sorta important thing where he looks like a wizened old crone standing amongst a sea of children doing his best twitching, cringing Hunchback of Notre Dame impression. If you want someone to convincingly play 20 years their junior, hire Paul Rudd. Otherwise, please don’t ask me to believe that this supposed 18-year-old has crow’s feet. 

And that twitching nervous energy is a huge part of the black hole at the center of this film - he’s playing to the cheap seats and walking through the halls of his high school like a wet chihuahua. It’s an excruciating acting choice to watch - he doesn’t just have anxiety, he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown seemingly every second of every day. Like honestly, where is only-mentioned-never-seen Dr. Sherman, because this young man’s meds are NOT WORKING DR. SHERMAN. 

There’s such a lack of self-awareness on behalf of the writing, directing, and performance by Platt. There’s one song, “Sincerely, Me,” that offers the only glimpse of commentary about what Evan is doing, by pointing out the malicious ridiculousness of him writing a series of fake emails as proof of his and Connor’s friendship. 

Also what high schoolers email this much?? I know this was written in probably 2014 or so, but has a bitch never heard of a text? Even a DM? This whole plot is constructed around the premise that high schoolers are just constantly, constantly emailing each other. 

Everything - and I mean EV-ER-Y-THING - about Evan’s relationship with Zoe is so creepy and disturbing that with a soundtrack change, this could easily be a horror movie. He attempts to get her to like him by describing to her all the things her brother noticed about her - oh wait, I’m sorry, all the things HE noticed about her while he was skulking in the shadows following her around for years, watching every move she made, and it ends with him singing repeatedly “I LOVE YOU” because following a girl around and never having a conversation with her or knowing her at all is love, right? This was clearly written by the same people who chose “Every Breath You Take” as their wedding song because Sting is hot and they never actually listened to the damn words. 

And it gets about 10 billion times worse when Zoe goes to Evan’s house alone, takes him up to his room, and sings “I don’t need reasons to want you” and that was the moment I was that person I hate in a movie theater and I pulled out my phone to Google who wrote the music and lyrics to the musical (we were in the back row of the theater no one was behind me THIS WAS AN OUTRAGE EMERGENCY) and of motherfucking course it was written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, 2 men who heard about meeting an actual human woman from a friend one time but otherwise are unfamiliar with the concept. 

Lastly, enormous serial killer vibes from Evan sending unlabeled flash drives anonymously through the mail with no note in an attempt to right his wrongs. That’s not catharsis, that’s how the next installment in the Saw franchise starts, with Evan in a Billy the clown doll mask showing up on the screen and asking if you want to play a fucking game. 

Also, I know it’s not possible for the narrative to justify this in a way that could be satisfying based on Evan’s actions, but what is with this thing where single working-class mom Julianne Moore is turning down rich people’s money for Evan to go to college? Like, obviously we can’t have that happen in the movie but in real life, fuck your pride! Take those rich people’s money!

I also know how movies work but nothing annoys me more than a giant group of high schoolers all getting beeps and boops to indicate text notifications all at the same time because I don’t know a single person under the age of 55 who keeps their ringer on. That shit is on vibrate AT MOST, and I feel like that’s a millennial thing. 

The emotional climax of the film is obviously Evan’s WAY TOO LATE confession, but the idea that it’s prompted by Connor’s family suddenly getting a lot of internet hate is, frankly, laughable. If Sandy Hook taught me one thing, it is that no tragedy is immune from trolls who live only to cause other people devastating emotional pain on the internet. That shit starts day 1. Apparently no one involved in this production has ever been on Twitter?

Also it feels like there should have been a dog somewhere in this movie and there was no dog, so points off for that too. 

Perhaps Dear Evan Hansen isn’t nearly as deep as it aspires to be. Perhaps it’s a morality play, a simplistic message of “Don’t lie, kids, lying is bad!” Major studio movies wrap themselves up with a nice bow at the end so everyone can feel good about themselves and leave with a happy ending, but the moronic cruelty on display here makes that feat feel impossible. We’re left with Evan in an orchard, reading Connor’s favorite books and staring into the big blue sky with all the self-actualization he’s earned now as a lil treat. And if Evan Hansen looked like an actual 18-year-old, it would be a lot easier to extend more empathy to him and his not-fully-developed prefrontal cortex, but it’s a little harder with this fully-grown, weathered man who was old enough to remember seeing Liar Liar in theaters. 

Dear Evan Hansen, 

Get some actual help and a haircut and maybe you can grow up enough to have an actual healthy interaction with any other living person, ever.

Sincerely, 

Me

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[hatobara01]

It will be the first time that I will publish some headcanons of some character, in this case of Friday Night Funkin with Senpai, I hope I won't be ashamed of this later XD.

-Headcanons about your game

•The plot of his game basically consists that Y / N is a student in her last year of high school, who never knew love and suddenly a new and adorably attractive math teacher named Senpai comes in, and there in that game your goal is date with the teacher with all the cliches of otome games.

•The game format would obviously be a dating simulator, but with the variant that would be Hatsune Miku Project Diva or Uta no Prince Sama type ... I guess the first one.

•That Girlfriend liked about the game, she found it in Boyfriend: A cute boy with a taste for music (even if it's a few Beep boops LOL). With the exception adding that BF is funny, it isn't perfect but that is good.

•Senpai's personality in your game is like that of a sweet prince, but a bit clumsy, and it shows in his way of dressing. That he is passionate about music even though he teaches mathematics, since the position of music teacher was occupied. Also, when he falls in love with Y / N, he tries to be very sweet and chivalrous with her without his students noticing ... at least he does not favor her in his class. And when he lost in anything, just put in a Sad mode, for after will be happy again.

• His Good Ending would be that when Y / N graduates, make a confession to Senpai, he also confesses his feelings in an embarrassed way and now, happy ending. Also, after completing the game, it is possible to play the musical levels.

•His Bad Ending then in graduation, Y / N when confessing to Senpai because he is rejected, but since it is an A.I. "indirectly" senpai tells you that you can try again and how to get his Good Ending "indirectly".

-Headcanons about him

•Unlike his personality in his game, Senpai being an experimental A.I. , because "outside his role" he would be like a guy who has the character of Oujidere (an arrogant anime prince), somewhat perverted but perfectionist in some aspects, and that he is a sore loser.

•Aspects between his gaming personality with his real personality, as he retains the fact that he is quite clumsy, but he would deny it or be ashamed. Also, if he likes music and is passionate, but he is a perfectionist at that. Although he is narcissistic, because if he falls in love, instead of being ashamed, he would take the personality of a Tsundere and little by little being someone sweet ... with his pride even but just as sweet.

•Before the arrival of BF and GF, Senpai was quite aware of the existence of Spirit, although he does not take it enough importance and considers it annoying to listen to it and then ignores it. If he had been human then he would have been fuck off in the presence of Spirit and being his puppet for a long time.

•He is a cat boy, and a bit of Hamsters, is that for him they are so cute.

•Like an experimental A.I he couldn't develop much to be able to control electronic devices like Giffany from Gravity falls, and neither to modify your programmer and communicate with it like Monika from DDLC. But if he can have an understanding of it and even keep his memories every time he is rebooted as Seven from Mystic Messenger.

•It could be said that it suffers from an error called Error 707 that it is almost impossible to erase its memories when restarting it compared to its other copies of the past, but he pretends not to have any memory.

•He has a taste for sweet things like cakes and cookies, but also a taste for fish, such as Takoyakis.

•he is weak with spicy food even if he says otherwise, his watery eyes and red face would give him away.

•He doesn't like his full name at all, which is "Senpai McAnime Weeb", simply if someone asked him his full name he would lie saying that the programmers just gave him a name believing that there was no need to put a surname as with his age ... If he knew about your Wiki.

•Senpai may have died, but not completely, only his disk was damaged by Spirit which makes him look dead. So if someone can find his disk, manage to fit it into a PC and repair the broken parts of his programmer, it will be possible to be playable again, and perhaps the memories of the event with BF and GF, even what happened with Spirit will still be preserved. But the fact that Spirit is still doomed on its Disc is going to be a mystery.

-Extra Headcanons

•It is possible that Y / N is the one who got Senpai's game disc online because of his taste for retro games ... What? one way or another Daddy Dearest had to get rid of that disc, if he breaks it then Spirit would escape and he does not want to go back to the problems again, besides wanting to take him away from his daughter also so that this incident doesn't happen (although he himself caused it). and therefore better to pass the problem on to others.

•Senpai when meeting Y / N , Well...he would feel confused to have another carrier, in fact, he would be surprised if it works on a computer. Maybe at the beginning it would be out of place which would create suspicions in Y / N so the boy would try to "break the fourth wall" little by little until the girl understands that he has a conscience or ends up exploding and revealing himself in the middle of the game ... whichever comes first.

Ok, was so longer, but it was funny and entrertaiment. Maybe I will do a Love Headcanons after hehe

PD: The fanarts shown here do not belong to me, they belong to their respective authors.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

🐟Mon 2 Dec🌊

Harry released a trailer for the Eroda video, a story about a boy who struggles with being gay peculiar until fate leads him to someone who shares his struggles. Will the boy's act of kindness lead to them both finding happiness?The fairy tale like structure of it all suggests yes and someone who heard Adore You told us it's a happy love song (though others say they sobbed but does that contradict? Idek). Louis meanwhile released Be Gay Do Crime the video, in which the the main character (coded as a Louis stand in) outwits Simon an unpleasant older man who forces him to do dirty work for his (the older man's) own financial gain, but he (the protagonist) escapes with his beloved, who Simon the man had nearly succeeded in tearing him apart from. Oh and of course in both the protagonists nearly drown to escape the pressures placed on them but do not and also they wear masks. Also Louis himself makes off with all the money at the end of his, basically there is one hell of a lot of fucking winning happening here.

Harry is doing Live Lounge Dec 18 omg, and will host the Late Late Show on the 10th! He sent a video message to a Fine Line listening party in Amsterdam, where they played the Harry songs obviously but also KMM, WMI, and Home, a song that is nearly acted out in the Eroda material and a heck of a strange pick from the 1D catalogue to be random. Rumored lyrics were leaked! Spoilers: 'she sleeps in his bed while he plays pretend' (allegedly from She), even more lyrics about being in the kitchen, and the soon to be immortal 'beep boop beep.' Eroda got their account verified, tweeted a lot, and Harry and Eroda have cute fish emoji on twitter. (HAYYY BTW how you like your "too cool to be just a pop star" mystery now condescending gamer fuckboys? Their clownery is exceeded only by fans trying to make sense of it as anything other than gay as fuck, and honestly y'all should team up and find gross extremely heterosexual love, it's a match made in hell.) We're told Adore You is the first 'official' single from Fine Line, umm okay? Like Watermelon Sugar I can see, it was kind of an extra, but sorry Lights Up baby, with your video and massive media hype and everything! Ouch.

Louis was at the first Walls listening party; they heard four songs and got to meet Louis. He did a long radio spot where he says that about 85% of his lyrics are autobiographical and factual, accidentally curses repeatedly, and admits to pitting his lads (uh his friends that is not his balls) against one another in the boxing ring (Oli serenades you with Abba and you treat him like this? For shame!) Louis says that although this is the last part of the video series they plan to release a version of all three with some more 'glue' to tie them together. There's an audio snippet of Walls at the end of the new video and it sounds SO GOOD I can't believe we have to wait until late Jan for it... Lucky listening party attendees.

Liam was profiled in the Guardian today: same content we've been seeing, which is to say, it's extremely worrying, things that are hard to read someone you care about saying. He presented with Rita Ora at the British Fashion Awards this evening in London. He posted lots of LP1 stuff including new song teases! Snippets of unheard songs were posted to his Instagram!

Niall is in Australia! He's excited to see his friends there and doing lots of press, and the fans are perhaps a little too excited to see him: it seems there may have been an unpleasant car chase incident and Niall tweeted about having his claustrophobia triggered. Ugh. He says he's really nervous about SNL and he congratulated Harry on doing the double duty, he says the Beatle he'd be is Paul McCartney, "the cute one," and finished the Little Things lyrics on ig with the missing "sing it!" There are mummerings of a collab coming and many are eyeing the number of times he's mentioned Halsey lately. Or is Put A Little Love On Me coming? He says he has a 'wedding song' soon and Sirius tweets that he might have something this weekend but is it a release or, like, an interview.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

Yaag woke up early that day.

Well, he was always up early, but that was besides the point. Yaag was a creature of habit. He would wake up, work out, shower, get himself ready for the day. Rinse and repeat. It was a quiet process and he rather appreciated it. He could gather his thoughts that way.

This morning, however, was different. He still followed his routine, still followed the same workout, still did his hair the same way, still wore the same ribbon in his hair. But he realized that as he was in the process of tying soft, silver hair behind him with his go-to black ribbon (a gift from his mother) that Ash seemed to consume all his thoughts. This is pathetic...

Ash had begun working with PSICOM not too long ago, perhaps only a few months. She didn’t have the military experience that he did, and nor did she, as she so kindly put it, gave “a fucking shit” about it. She was, as she also put it, “good with people and at going beep boop on computers.”

Normally he would never even consider working with someone with such little experience, but she proved to be rather good at what she did, and always had the latest intel. She meant to only stay for a mission but... clearly it had been longer. She was quick to bond with everybody who worked under him, kind and approachable to all. She teased him, saying that they balanced each other out. He was as cold as ice, and she was... well, her.

Working together so closely, they were quick to bond. Yaag tried to keep things strictly professional, but he was no idiot. He knew what he was feeling when he felt his heart flutter as she smiled. He just tried to shove them aside. He didn’t have the time for such things. He was Director Yaag Rosch of PSICOM division, and he had things to do. He had to be stone cold, as unfazed as a brick because of just how many people relied on him.

But he needed someone to rely on too.

Yeah, to cut down all the fluff, Yaag crumbled. Fast forward a bit later, and they kissed. 

You know how it goes from there.

He leaned slightly forward into the mirror, adjusting his bangs ever so slightly. He gave himself a curt nod. He reached for his coat, fastening all the buttons.

Today was a very special one. Outside of Ash and the fact that he had just been ordered by the fal’Cie to orchestrate mass fucking murder, he had many things on his mind. This is... what is best. For Cocoon's present and future prosperity. He told himself.

He had received the reports the day prior. The progress on the Proudclad, what was supposed to be his personal airship. It was complete. He wasn’t a very emotional man in the slightest, and even when he wasn’t being PSICOM Director Rosch, he was still rather serious, and composed. But he felt excited! It was complete. Finally! Fastening his saber to his side, he exits his room, metal door swooshing closed behind him.

Ash was already up and seemed to be having a conversation with one of the pilots of the Palamecia, swiping through some documents on her tablet. She looks up at the sound of footsteps. She grins,

"Goooooood morning, Director!"

"Good morning, Ash." He gives him and the pilot a small nod, and the pilot leaves.

"I sorted through some of the reports on the Pulse l'Cie for you, you know. We've got some pretty cool stuff." She says.

"Fantastic work. Have them sent my way."

"Consider it done, babe." She steps a bit closer to him as she taps away on her tablet.

He smiles.

"You're smiling." Ash says, glancing up at him through her thick, red glasses. Yaag didn't smile too often, but it had begun to become an increasingly more common sight when they were alone.

Perhaps if Ash had never gotten closer to him and fell in love with the caring man under the tough surface, she would've assumed that he was some sort of machine. She wouldn't put it behind the Sanctum, and it would definitely explain his demeaner.

"Am I? My apologies."

She snorts, "Hey! Don't apologize for smiling! I think that your smile is pretty cute. Is there something in particular that has you in such high spirits?"

"Well..." Starts Yaag, "Yes, actually."

Not even a beat of silence. "Spill." 

“Perhaps I should just show you.” She nods, and Yaag turns around and begins walking deeper into the airship. 

Once they were out of sight from the others, Ash takes a gentle hold of one of his hands. He squeezes hers in response, thumb gently rubbing over the back of her hand.

“I’m sure you’ve heard about plans for the Proudclad, correct?” 

She nods, “Yeah, the spider-looking airship thing? With all the really complex guns? I saw some of the plans for it.” 

“Yes, and it’s... It’s finally complete.” He whispers. 

She jumps up a little bit, smiling. Yaag could stare at that smile of hers all day and never get sick of it. “Oh, that’s amazing!”

Yaag steps in front of a door and it opens automatically. Ash wasn’t quite sure where in the ship they were, considering the sheer size of it. Despite having worked there for quite a while, she had no idea what some of the doors lead to. Not her fault they all looked the damn same. Luckily, she had Yaag with her, who seemed to know the whole ship (and the whole army, at that) like the back of his hand. 

He steps inside and she follows. He stops in his tracks, completely starstruck at the sight before him. Silver eyes seemed to glimmer in awe as he raises a hand to stroke the cool, metal surface of the mech before him.  

“Gorgeous.” He says under his breath, and Ash smiles at the sight. Yaag was a difficult man to read - well, she supposed that he had to be, considering what he did for a living - but she loved seeing him like this nonetheless. 

The ship before them was large, nearing the ceiling of the large room. The metal was dark, seeming to match perfectly with the black tones of Yaag’s PSICOM uniform. It was planted on its legs in a rest position, the lights on the sides turned off. 

A man who Ash recognized to be a mechanic approached Yaag and handed him a thin remote after a small chat and a flawless salute. Ash didn’t hear the most of it, but she briefly heard something about new AMP technology being infused into some of the arms of the Proudclad. 

She had briefly studied AMP and was quite fond of it. She often wasn’t directly on the battlefield, though, so she never exactly had a chance to put much of it to use.

Yaag looked down at his hand and pressed the largest button the remote. Within seconds, he was... fading away? 

“What?” Ash questioned, but was quick to remember how teleportation tests were currently being run. Not only could it benefit PSICOM, but perhaps even all of Cocoon. They were constantly striving to make the already-peaceful life on Cocoon even better. 

Well, not really. But that’s what they told themselves anyway. The fal’Cie made the decisions around here. Humanity was useless and pathetic on its own. 

Not like there was anything they could do about it.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the engines of the Proudclad whirring to life. It sits there for a few seconds, the arms moving around experimentally.

Wow.

After maybe a few minutes, Yaag comes out from the side of the machine. Ash runs closer to him.

“That was... Woah.” Is all she manages to stutter out. 

“Very ‘woah’ indeed.” Yaag remarked, “I’m rather proud of what the team has put together.” 

Ash chuckles. That was a first. Praise from Yaag was rare. Really rare. 

“So!” She claps her hands together excitedly, “This thing got Bluetooth?”

Yaag freezes in place, silvery eyes narrowing in something that could only be described as pure bafflement. He blinks wordlessly at her, and his mouth opens and closes a few times, as if trying to find the right words. But what were the right words?

“Ash.... Ash...” He shook his head, pinching his nose between his fingers, “Ash, this is a weapon...” 

“You’re not answering my question here.” 

“Oh my.” Yaag sighed at his girlfriend’s antics, but couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. She laughs, and Yaag can feel himself practically melting at the sight. Since when did he allow himself to get so soft? 

Ash smiles, and for just a moment, Yaag feels like nothing else matters in the world. All his problems and responsibilities gone. He felt happy. 

She takes a look at the display of her tablet and sighs, “I'm sorry, but I should really get back to work, Yaag.” 

He nods, “Yes, of course. I’ll be taking the new one out for a test flight as well.”

“Ooh, have fun! I’m just going to be wrapping up some reports. The Pulse threat is pretty good at running away.” She places a hand on his shoulder, “But hey, that’s alright. It shouldn’t take too long, so I can make you dinner tonight!” 

Yaag shakes his head no,  “Perhaps I can try my hand at cooking tonight? You’ve been working very hard, tracking down the l’Cie and all. And then again, you always cook. I rather enjoy your food, but I wouldn’t want to place anything else onto you. You deserve rest.” 

Ash shrugs as she walks away, but she’s grinning widely. “Thank you so much. Just don’t burn the house down, okay?” 

Yaag chuckles, “I don’t know if I want to hear that from you. You have... Well, a reputation of being clumsy, to put it kindly.”

“Not true!”

On her way out, however, Yaag didn’t miss her tripping. All he heard was a sigh and,

“You piece of shit! You jinxed me!”

He covers his hand with his mouth, trying to hold back laughter, “Such unprofessional language from this one...”

“I swear to god, Yaag, I am this close to-“

“What happened to working?”

“... Shut up.”

He smiles.

“Have fun.” He says, giving her a small wave as she (without tripping this time) leaves the room and heads back to her office. As for him, he simply stood there for a moment. His cheeks felt warm as his heart raced.

What a fool... I love her.

[mspa-music-analysis]

Beyond Canon - exclusion zone

alright first song in the Beyond Canon album, exclusion zone. lets break it up. 

PERSONAL THOUGHTS/LISTENING EXPERIENCE

I got literal fucking shivers. Holy shit. Holy shit. The first twenty seconds of this song is it’s own fucking experience. When the vocals come in at 00:46 I feel as though I am standing on a craggy cliff face, maybe on a mountain, the sky is grey, there’s mist and magic in the air, and I should be dreading something. I feel like taking a deep breath and preparing to see an army coming up over the adjacent hill. I feel like I’m about to go up against something huge. 

When I first clicked on the new Homestuck album in disbelief, double checking the release date, I wasn’t expecting much. Sure Homestuck music is utterly wonderful, but I’ve never been able to listen to instrumentals very well, they don’t capture my attention without lyrics to focus on. but hearing the first few notes of this song. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I am not the same man. Oh my god. This first minute is what got me to listen to this entire album in one sitting.

At 1:00 you hear a muffled voice and the sound of breaking glass, and it feels like the illusion of nature and magic and dread shatters. A robotic voice chimes in ‘you just made a monster’ and you get it, for just a second. You feel like something terrible has happened and you have no idea how the fuck you’re going to pick up the pieces. This song sets the stage for the album, and it makes anticipation thrum through your bones, especially on the first listen. 

The latter half of the song is letting this feeling sink in, letting your anticipation, your excitement, your dread, grow into a magnificent beast. As the last bit cycles you feel your heartbeat quicken, your breath catch, and you just have to sit there for a second. Holy shit. This song feels like saying ‘holy shit’ in reverence. Over and over again.

The ending feels like you have no idea what the fuck you’re getting into. All you can do is click onto the next song. 

INSTRUMENTAL/VOCAL ANALYSIS

I’m no musical expert, but I’m going to try to explain this as well as I can. Music snobs, sorry, experts, please remember I am but a humble fool who has never taken a music class beyond fifth grade. An amateur if you will. 

I’m going to be using the word synth so fucking much in these, aren’t I. I’m torn between some sort of string, a synth, or an organ playing the opening notes, and I’m fairly sure it’s the synth. Homestuck music wouldn’t be Homestuck music for not the synth. 

The synth, as I am going to call it despite how unsure I am that it is one, immediately gives you an overwhelming cathedral feeling. You get a little while to marinate in this feeling before the vocals chime in. The vocals and the synth meld so beautifully into each other, they feel so natural coming together. There’s a moment where you say ‘yay! vocals in a Homestuck song!’ which will later seem oh so ironic. 

Then, in a change of tone, a muffled, hard to understand, male-sounding voice pops in. It sounds like a frantic report, breaking news, or a call for backup. It could sound to some like officials chasing dangerous dissenters, and to others a discreet warning to fellow rebels that the brass are coming. I tried so fucking hard to get an audio editing program to pick this shit apart, but I have a Chromebook for some godforsaken reason. Sorry, folks, we’ll have to see if anyone replies to my tweet with our answers. For reasons, which are definitely real actual reasons with no attachment to aesthetics, I am going to call this voice ‘the radio’. 

Directly after the infuriating piece of walky-talky Esq vocals, there’s a sound of breaking glass. I think perhaps that is my favorite moment in the entire track, if not the entire album. Not to assign too much meaning to a singular bit of sound, but it feels like every expectation I had for Homestuck music was completely shattered. Like the glass ceiling that prevented Homestuck music from becoming legendary because it was just a shitty web-comic (which was already untrue) is broken through with just the first half of this song. Does that make sense? In short, this album really is on an entire other level of music entirely, and it knows it. This is possibly supported by the album cover, which is Ultimate Dirk sitting in a pile of previous Homestuck album covers. Must I explain this one? (I will if you ask, really. I’m perhaps a bit too eager, in fact.)

Directly after the glass shatters, more instruments join in. I think these are also synths? It sounds techy, it sounds dystopian. You know when people say techno is just beeps and boops? Yeah, there’s a lot of beeps and boops in this, and frankly, I love it. Then, another distorted, techy, mechanical, feminine?, voice pops in saying ‘you just made a monster’. I’m going to call this voice the monster, but not necessarily because I think they are the monster, and I will elaborate on this later. This is my second favorite moment in the track. It’s just. Wow. Breathtaking. The monster repeats for a while, the rest of the song. The third time, an almost more human sounding, but not by much, monster joins in. There’s an air of indignance, of anger, desperation, vengeance. It sounds like there’s another phrase buried under some sounds there, at 1:28? I absolutely can not make it out for the life of me, and it is driving me crazy. 

The monster is chopped up and distributed evenly throughout the rest of the song, quite fucking marvelously. At 1:39 there’s a pause in the instrumental, and for just a second, you’re left with this steady note sung by the monster. It’s haunting. I didn’t notice it my first few listen throughs, but now that I’ve been sitting here looping the track, I can’t help but hear it. It definitely gives me a feeling, but I haven’t decided what that feeling is yet. 

The sound bits that sound like a broken robot, or another voice saying ‘anoyie’ over and over, are quite possibly going to drive me insane. I find myself desperately needing to hear where the fuck these audio bytes came from. I need to hear the originals. I do not care if they are random mouth noises. My curiosity is insatiable. I am fairly sure it is just the monster cut to hell, but there’s just something nagging at me saying otherwise. I don’t know, perhaps I’m finally going insane from looping the robot song for two hours. 

I don’t love the ending? There’s one last monster repeat, a sort of clapping sound (an interesting change of pace), silence for half a second, more of that damned ‘anoyie’ and I am further convinced it is not the monster, and then nothing. It isn’t quite unsatisfying, but it isn’t satisfying either. It is most certainly an ending. I can say for a fact there are instruments in the ending. And that’s all I have to say on that.

HERE’S WHERE SHIT GETS CRAZY

Alright, time to sound like a madman. Here is where I am going to assign arbitrary Homestuck-related, possibly plot-related, meaning. Take all of this with a grain of salt and forgive my overuse of phrases like ‘I feel’ and ‘I think’. 

So, putting the song in the context of the album title ‘Beyond Canon’, and therefore most likely The Epilogues and Homestuck^2, I do indeed have a few theories. Not all make a whole lot of sense, and a few are based quite heavily on ‘feelings’ and ‘vibes’. I hated putting vibes in quotes, never make me do that again. To start with, the beginning, before the radio, reminds me very much of Ultimate Dirk (Ult. Dirk), Terezi, and RoseBot on that new planet. Perhaps because of the air of desolation, not in relation to the note, and foreboding? Perhaps because I have assigned an air of forced serenity to this part, and I very much feel like Ult. Dirk is trying to force serenity onto his section of the narrative, despite what’s coming his way? Hm. Much to think about. 

The radio, I cannot puzzle out exactly. DaveBot, perhaps? Trying to break through from the Candy universe and coming out muffled? I don’t have much to go on, and I am waiting until I have figured out exactly what the radio is actually saying. 

The glass shattering. Oh, the glass shattering. Fenestrated plane, anyone? The fourth wall, anyone? Good god, shattered glass + Homestuck = SHIT IS GOING DOWN. This makes me very excited. It could just be metaphorical, as I was saying before, but I very much have a feeling that things are going to get that particular brand of very Homestuck fucked soon. And I am oh so excited. 

The monster! Oh, how I love the monster. There’s so many things I can see the monster being, as well as referencing. Lets get right the fuck into it. First! The Auto Responder, or Lil’ Hal. You know how every splinter and alternate self combines to create the Ultimate Self? (I have so many theories about this, oh my god, I might make an entire other blog for more Homestuck analysis) Well, what if it isn’t a perfect meld? Dirk is a Prince, after all, a destroyer. There’s no way, however Ultimate he may be, he’s perfect and whole. What if specific splinters find their way to shine through? Like, for instance, Hal accusing Dirk of making a monster out of all his iterations. I know, it’s far fetched, and I took quite a few liberal steps to get there. But just perhaps.

A not so wild theory is an obvious one, I think. The monster is Rosebot. It’s vaguely feminine, robot-y, and references a recent creation. Rose’s consciousness breaking through Dirk’s command? Seems likely to me. 

A third! Perhaps it’s DaveBot? It seems less likely than the RoseBot theory, due simply to the femininity of the voice, but at the same time it seems like DaveBot would be more likely to fight Dirk’s control of his personal narrative, if only because we haven’t seen his robot form be entirely complicit yet. Either way, I doubt this one. I just want it on the record in case I’m right. *wink*. (I refuse to use a winky face in a semi-serious analysis, it just feels wrong.)

And this one isn’t really a theory, but I keep coming back to it. Is anyone else reminded of AradiaBot? Especially that second of the monster just singing with no instrumental. I can give no explanation except for a feeling. I wasn’t going to include this, but, well, trust your gut or something. Maybe she’ll come back and my random thought will be justified. 

Now, do I think this will be used in Homestuck^2 as a flash at some point. Short answer: I don’t know. Long and less shitty answer: I feel as though it could go either way! I can’t really see a song with vocals like this getting a flash, if only because it’s very straightforward and I don’t know if you can jam a whole lot of plot into this song, unlike some of the others. That said, it would be just like Homestuck to completely blow away my expectations and jam the entire ending into it. Hey, Homestuck? Please don’t do that. I love Act 7, I really do, but also just please don’t. Ever again, thank you. 

Maybe Meat Kanaya will liberate RoseBot from Ult. Dirk’s control and this song will play as she beats the shit out of him. I would like that, I think. 

CONCLUSIONS

Personal Rating: Holy Shit 

Objective Musical Rating: Robots Have Never Sounded So Vengeful And I Love It

Plot-Relevance Rating: It’s Possible But The Outlook Isn’t Good, Chief 

Would It Stand On Its Own?: Fuck Yes It Would. I Sang This When I Came Out Of The Womb.

did u nut tho: yuh

[car-karaoke]

Friday Part 2

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me and gave me feedback on the first part of Friday!! Having been my first write, I had no idea if anyone would like it. But you guys have shown me love and I appreciate that more than you know! This second part is a bit slower I think, but I wanted to include it to develop the characters more! I'm planning on writing a part 3 as well when I get the chance 😁

*none of the gifs in here are mine, all credit goes to the owners*

This is still a fairly long chapter (I think?). Not as long as part 1 but still lengthy

Warnings: excess amounts of FLUFF, partial nudity, language, body insecurities 

Alex and Marco's apartment was a very homey and comfortable yet luxurious place-not that you really noticed right now. You and Alex were too busy fighting for dominance over a kiss for you to notice Alex's breathtaking photography up on the walls. In fact, one of them nearly fell just now as Alex pushed you up against the wall

You were both panting, hands trying to memorize every square inch of flesh they could without just stripping naked right there. Thankfully, Jordan and Taylor had already made their way to a bedroom for the night

"Fuck Alex" you groaned, hips pushing against his as you tugged on his hair

"You. Are. So. Beautiful" Alex whispers in between kisses. For a moment, you just look up at him in awe. He is one of the most attractive men you had ever seen, yet here he was calling YOU beautiful. Your mind was a little foggy, the booze definitely not helping. And then that dreaded feeling happened

Your stomach churned, making a loud unpleasant noise. Your throat started to swell up and the all too familiar feeling of pre-throw up hit you. Taking a deep breath, you looked up at Alex again

"Where's your bathroom? I just need to pee", you lied

Alex looked at you with concern, noticing how pale you looked. "Down the hall to the right, but I'm coming with you to make sure you're alright"

Immediately, you started to protest when you felt the feeling return. "No, Alex I'm fi-" you covered your mouth and ran to the bathroom, just barely making it into the toilet

Humiliated, you coughed and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe your mouth. When you went to close the door, Alex was already there, kneeling next to you. He softly pushed the hair out of your face as you looked miserably up at him

"No please Alex.. you do not need to see this....I'm so embarrassed, this is disgusting. You can go I'm fine" you protested, as another heave came. Alex just grabbed your hair with one hand, holding it out of the way, while his other hand rubbed up and down your back softly

He sat with you the whole time, despite your constant objections. Rubbing your back, kissing your shoulder, trying to make you laugh when you started feeling better. Eventually, you were finally done puking and slowly got up off the floor. Alex had left to go to the kitchen to grab you some water and tylenol

You looked in the bathroom mirror and winced. You looked like hell. Your makeup was smeared from the watery eyes, compliments of throwing up. Your hair was tangled, and your outfit was half off. You sighed and rubbed your face

"Here love, you need these" Alex said, handing you the glass and the pills. You took them with a smile

"Thank you" you sighed. "I look like a fucking wreck, huh?" You laughed

Alex chuckled. "I wouldn't say a wreck, no. Just in need of some sleep and perhaps some greasy food". He pulled you into a gentle hug, rubbing circles on your back

You sighed again and wrapped your arms around him. "Those both sound good. I was in the mood for something else before, but I kind of ruined that moment" you said sadly

Alex looked down at you and kissed your forehead. "A little bit, yes" he laughed. "But we're both drunk anyways, so as much as I would've loved to continue that, I wouldn't have been able to go through with it. Not like that" he said quietly

"You're such a gentleman" you smiled, squeezing him. "I guess you're right though, it wouldn't have been the best idea"

Alex looked right at you with a sexy smile. "If I ever have the pleasure of making love to you, I want to be able to remember every..single...moment." He whispered against your ear. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you tried to control yourself

Alex pulled away, grabbing your hand and leading you to the kitchen. You plopped down on one of the bar stools as Alex warmed up some pizza in the microwave. You giggled at the way Alex hummed a little song to himself, bopping his head up and down cheerfully

"I dont know how you can be in such a good mood after you just had to sit next to a drunk puking woman in the bathroom for half an hour" you chuckled

The microwave beeped and Alex grabbed two plates for the pizza and headed over by you, handing you a plate with a smile. "Because that drunk puking woman was you" he said simply. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat, because that would mean more time with you" he smiled, booping your nose

You blushed deeply, shaking your head in amazement. "You're crazy, you know that?"

"Nah, I just really like you" he said with a smirk, knowing it would make you blush again

You both munched on the pizza happily, talking about the night. You must have apologized a thousand times for the "bathroom incident" as you lovingly called it. Eventually, you both had enough to eat and were getting tired

"Come on Y/N, let's go get some sleep" he said, taking your hand

"Can we cuddle?" You asked innocently

In response, Alex spun around and picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing you. "Of course, I'm not letting you get away that easy"

You both collapsed on his bed, sighing pleasantly after the long night. You lazily took most of your clothes off until you were left in your panties and a tank top. Alex stripped down to his boxers. You shamelessly looked down his body. Gods he was a sexy man. His physique was incredible. Alex smirked down at you, laughing a little

"Eyes up here darlin" he says, crawling into bed with you and pulling you close

"I can't help it, it's not my fault you're so sexy" you mumbled up against his neck. You felt him smiling at you, rubbing your back

"Don't even get me started on who's the sexy one right now. I'm having a hard time not letting my mind wander" he admitted

You smiled against his skin, squeezing him tighter. His hand was tracing lines up and down your back, your arm draped over his side, caressing his side lovingly. You both talked for a little while longer, Alex occasionally pressing soft kisses to your temple until you both drifted into a peaceful sleep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up the next morning, you were thoroughly wrapped up in Alex's arms. From what you could tell, he wasn't awake yet. He was softly snoring against your hair which made you laugh. Neither one of you had hardly moved from the position you fell asleep in. You still couldn't believe how you had gotten lucky enough to be in this position right now. You were wrapped warmly in Alex Høgh Anderson's arms, who was in fact one of the biggest sweethearts you had ever met

Your daydreams were cut short when you noticed that he wasn't snoring anymore. Carefully you looked up and saw him smiling down at you

"I wasn't sure if you were awake, did I wake you up?" he asked sleepily

"No, I woke up just before you" you yawned. You soon realized you had morning breath and were suddenly hyper-aware of every flaw you saw in yourself. You shuffled uncomfortably in Alex's arms, thinking of how your makeup was probably smeared all over your face. Alex yawned and shuffled around, getting out of bed

"I'm gunna hop in the shower quick, you'll still be here right?" He asked. You nodded back. He flashed you a smile and headed off towards the bathroom. Quickly, you looked in the mirror above his dresser to wipe away the rubbed makeup and put your clothes back on

Wondering how Taylor was, you wandered down the hall to check on her. The door to Jordan's room was cracked open, so you peeked inside

"Taylor?" You whispered. No answer. "Taylor?" You called a bit louder

"In here Y/N!" You heard her call from the kitchen

Taylor and Jordan were sitting on the couch together eating some cereal. They looked very happy together, still cuddled up against each other. The sight made you smile

"Mornin guys" you said cheerfully

"Well good morning sleepy head, where's Alex?" Jordan asked

"Just in the shower" you replied, fidgeting with the hem of your dress. "Which reminds me that we haven't showered in a day. Or brushed our teeth. We should probably do that soon, right Taylor?" You said shyly

Jordan smirked and nudged Taylor in the ribs. She giggled. "Well I for one DID take a shower this morning....with Jordan...ya know...to save some water" she laughed. But she noticed the way you were fidgeting and knew right away that you were getting in your own head. "But I have not brushed my teeth, you're right. So we should definitely get home to take care of that" she added, giving you a small knowing smile

"Take care of what?" Alex asked, casually walking into the living room wearing nothing but a towel. Little beads of water were trailing down his skin. You had to tear your eyes away from his V-line to look him in the eyes

"Uhh..um...we were talking about how we should get home to freshen up. Brush our teeth. Shower. Change out of last night's clothes" you muttered. You swore you saw Alex's face droop, although he gave you a smile and sat down next to you. It took everything in your power not to run your hand over his body just then

"I guess that's probably a good idea. You have some puke on your dress love" Alex pointed out with a smile. Your cheeks immediately reddened, looking down to see he was right

"Oh god you're right. That is disgusting. See, I need to change. You don't wanna spend more time with me looking like this" you said, trying not to sound too weak

"I'd spend time with you no matter what you were wearing. You could wear a paper bag if you felt like it" Alex stated simply, playing with the knot in his towel. You blushed harder, nudging him in the side as he leaned into you

"Well....shall we Y/N?" Taylor asked loudly, pulling you out of your little daze Alex's touch put you in

"Yeah, probably should." You said sadly

Both Alex and Jordan got up with you guys, you and Alex walking towards the door, Taylor and Jordan meeting in the middle of the living room to embrace each other and whisper in each other's ears

Alex reached behind him, rubbing his head. You tried not looking at his bulging muscles. To no avail. You were staring again and he knew it. When your eyes went back to his, you were met with a teasing smile and mischief in his eyes

"Trouble concentrating there?" He teased, reaching out for you and pulling you into him

"Shut up", you mumbled against him with a smile. You held onto him tightly, really not wanting to leave him but on the other hand, you knew if you didn't get cleaned up, you'd only get more self conscious. His hands were running up and down your back as he held you

"Are you okay?" He asked softly

Your heart melted. Somehow, he knew you were in your own head. You nuzzled into him closer and sighed

"Yes. I really am. I don't want to go, I really don't. It's got nothing to do with you. You didn't do anything wrong. I just really want to get cleaned up. I feel nasty and not at all confident" you admitted shyly

He moved one hand to your cheek and cupped it, prompting you to look up at him. "It's alright, I never want you to feel uncomfortable. But just know that I still think you look beautiful. Even with a puke stained dress and your hair all messy and half your makeup rubbed off" he laughed, thumb trailing along your cheekbone

You blushed deeply, a giant smile spreading across your face as you found a bit of confidence and moved on your tiptoes for a kiss. He gladly leaned down and kissed you gently, his hand still cupping your cheek while the other held you close to him. You hummed against his lips and smiled, breaking the kiss to give him two or three more small little pecks

Jordan appeared suddenly behind Alex and slapped him on the shoulder. "Alright lover boy, let's let our lovely ladies go" he said with a laugh

Everyone laughed as you headed out the door, giving Alex one last smile over your shoulder. He had a big smile on his face as he held his hand up to his ear like a phone

"Call me baby!!" He yelled with a huge laugh. That damn towel nearly falling off before he slowly closed the door

I'm tagging those of you who showed interest in this series-thank you all!!

@thevikingsheaux @dangerousvikings @tephi101 @ravens-of-kattegat @stardustandbucky @the-only-villain-here-is-me @elska-of-skrifa @honestsycrets @bluearcher20 @nutinanutshell @supernaturalvikingwhore @ivarthebonelessvk @ivaraddict @ivarandersen

[nullset2]

Society is Evolving in a very Strange Manner

We live in very bizarre times. It seems that more and more, more activities in the world are taking place behind the screen. It's starting to eerily feel like the matrix and it seems that people not only voted for it, but actually WANT it actively, because it's easy and nice.

Now, I've mentioned before that I like the network and I like the Plethora (notice the uppercase letter there, see what I did?) of things that it enables people to do. Sophistication and progress are the degree to which we can perform things in the world without having to think about them, so I will not be a naysayer of the network. I'm not a luddite.

But at the same time, I think that the fact that the network enables such a convenient lifestyle and such an easy way to communicate is actually estranging people away from each other... and this is just no good.

We are just not designed to be click a button and receive free food. To have all of our interactions transpire with little beeps and boops on a 5 inch OLED screen. To have everything and anything be schematized and moderated. It's degenerate.

Now, I love the tech that powers all of that, again, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Tech allows you to educate yourself massively and endlessly, and it connects people all over the world, but the fact that these beeps and boops provide such convenient and easy rushes of dopamine, in my opinion, is getting the best of people right now, and it has to change fast. It can not and will not hold. It must stop, and soon.

Just imagine if you live in a city like Seattle, where it rains four months out of the year, then you have massively alarming health crises on top. It's like people have actual justification now to stay indoors all the time, whereas before it was just play Seasonal Affective Disorder. Can the awkwardness and inherent effort of socializing ever even aspire to be as compelling as a 4K stream of imagery for entertainment? It's just not, not even remotely, a fair fight.

I literally spent the whole year without seeing anyone in person except for very rare occasions. But in reality a big chunk of it is the feeling of depression pervasive in everyone's minds out of the fact that it's scary to go out if the circumstances are shaky and uncertain. But let's be frank, another part is the fact that it's just easier and nicer to stay home in your jammies listening to podcasts, trying to weather it all out. It's just you staying in the domain of order instead of chaos, something which every reasonable entity ever would choose.

But hear me out just here... I think all of it is starting to get a bit too extreme for my tastes.

We live in the culture of the now (or the Now-Now, rather) and things are getting too vicious because it seems that the focus is just how the network enables you to move faster and faster. To maximize convenience, safety, pleasure and security, perhaps. The network is blazing fast so it enables things to scale infinitely, both in terms of business and communication

And I think that the ultimate consequence of this is... and sorry to be crass, that people are replacing relationships and intimacy with social networks and porn, exactly in that order.

It sounds horrible and it is horrible but think about it... it makes perfect logical sense...

For exsample, imagine you're living alone in a city and there's a virus out there, not only you can't go out, but you must not go out lest you'll be seen as a defficient human being. It's just the right thing to do, and what will you do with your time? Well, it's not like you have a social circle in the city, and you are connected to the network, so...

And this applies to everything: from the pleasant, anxiety inducing bottomless feeds of drivel that encompass our social media (again, Instagram has become the fucking shopping channel), to the infinity of videos available for endless entertainment, generated en-masse, to the endless masses of podcasts being produced daily...

And I think this is why trends like the recent current of stoicism and "No-Nut November" have arised. People just know in the back of their heads that something is just not adding up. Something is seriously fucked up here. Something is amiss: the richness of deliberate content, of a classic book, full of rich stories and characters, and the nicencess of speaking one to one with a friend, face to face, and the comfort of true intimacy with a partner. People are starting to get fed up with the highly saccharine, artificial, engineered equivalents of those which are being offered, at a price, to satiate those hunger pangs.

Those efforts to lower down your screen time and rate of consumption have a reason, thus: to rekindle people's humanity. To teach them that there's more to life than cumshots and seeking of the next high, to show it who's boss. That the tender embrace of a caring partner who actually wants to talk to them is incomparable to crude pornography as much as people would have it that way. That sex and pleasure, as good as they may be, are not, and will never be a replacement for affection and being genuine.

Another one: Truth is non-existent anymore, there's only what gets the most likes. Deliberatism and well thought out content is just not there --instead, it's been replaced by a 24/7 stream of imagery which may not even be good for people, prioritizing spectacle and shock value above all. Everything is designed for maximum dopaminic release and maximization of screen time.

And then this gets co-opted by politicians and propaganda machines, and the results are horrific.

And I think what we need to do is to setup an scheme in place to shut down the commercial, social network driven Internet on Sundays, very much like "Ready Player One". No escapism, sit down and have coffee with your friends and catch up. Don't look at a screen, just relax. Don't think about money or pleasure or sex, just relax.

But maybe this is but a dreamer's wish. Huxley, in "Brave New World", wrote that an ultra-modernized society would become a society of beloved chains, and maybe people love their Instagram shopping network with its endless stream of scantily clad women, and it's machine-produced youtube videos, and its endless harem of new women. I just hope that this changes soon because last time I checked this is not the concensus. People really love their pornhub.

[astro-gnome]

My god. The trip to see DM in NYC has been something fucking else. I mean, I knew it would be, but not this… big. It started off badly with a 2hr delay for all stops, (meaning my 10:45pm stop at Penn Station wound up being fucking midnight) which also meant having to wait at my station, which is outside, with no bathroom for over 2hrs ffdhhsgsggsh. The ride itself wasn’t so exciting–lots of hills, lots of country, uh…NJ…lol. But once I got there, it was cool. Christen and I met up and we chilled for the night in my swanky lil room, cos we wanted to get up early for the Spirit Store. Now about that…okay, I love DM with my heart and soul, but $40 for a tee shirt?? Damn near $300 for a leather jacket?? Fuck that. Yes, I did get a tee shirt. But, yeah. Anyway, we thought we were gonna be at the back of the line when we got there at like, noon, or whenever the hell we walked over, but there were only two ppl there, so we liked that. We started chatting with those guys, and it turns out the guy who runs the depecheuk blog was one of them! I guess his friend couldn’t make the gig, and he had an extra ticket–and offered it to Christen, (so she could go to the Saturday gig, instead of just the Monday gig she already had tickets for!!! !) We met up again before the gig and hung out for a bit while W*rpaint was on, cos we weren’t interested. (Sorry mutuals that like them–they’re boring.) While we were hanging out, Christen said to me ‘I wish you could go to the second gig’ & I was like 'so do I…’, M. (depecheuk) says something like, 'well since my friend didn’t get to come, you can have their ticket’. WELL, FUCK ME! YES. I downloaded the amtrak app right there & booked a later train home, cos shit fucking fire–I am NOT passing up a free ticket to Depechay Mode!!!!! God damn. That meant I had to check out of my hotel & stay with Christen, but that was cool. We just chilled & watched old anime, or I slept when she was at work (cos I caught a nasty cold.) We didn’t do too much in the time between gigs & my departure, but we did eat some yummy food. (Go to Cha Cha Matcha & get the pineapple swirl ice cream, and also try Go Go Curry for good Japanese-style curries. You won’t be disappointed.) Anyway, the trip was amazing, and I’m on my way home right now…but it was SOOO worth going broke for this experience. BUT–I haven’t even talked about the gigs!!! AHHHH!! FUKCING!! DHDHGSGSGH

SO. OKAY. DM is amazing, yeah?? Their shows are always great, right?? Man, they’re better than I ever fucking expected, and I knew they were gonna blow my face completely off. Ughhhh. UGHH. They are just so immense live. You can literally feel it in your body. They do not hold back. The lights, the visuals, everything is just so Big. It’s awesome. Omg, and seeing them on stage–being right fucking there, in the same room–god. It’s unbelievable. Dave literally owns your ass when he’s on stage. Whatever he says or does you’re like, 'Hell. Yes.’ His voice, his moves…he’s got you in his hands when he’s performing. It’s hard to keep your eyes off him, tbh…which would be okay if Mart weren’t also Right. There. FFFFFFFFFF MARTON. OMG. O M G. Okay, y'all know I love my boyfriend Mart, but, oh my Lordt, I think I feel in love with him a little bit all over again this weekend. He’s so so small & cute, but hot damn the sounds that boy makes ain’t small. He’s seriously one of the best guitarists I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some good ones. Every note he plays is so on point and ffhshshh. AND Y'ALL THINK HIS VOICE IS BRILLIANT ON RECORD, YOU AIN’T HEARD SHIT UNTIL YOU HEAR HIM SING LIVE. He’s literally an angel. Beautiful. Amazingly beautiful. I mean, I feel blessed. Hearing him sing his standards Home & A Question Of Lust on Saturday was fantastic, but on the second gig he sang Judas, for Christ’s sake. JUDAS. That song murders me. AND, and he sang Strangelove…perhaps my favorite DM song ever, ever. God. I still can’t believe I saw that. Ugh. (Did I say he was cute?? No, he’s more than cute. He’s gorgeous and wonderful, and everything he does I love. Hhhffh.) Oh. OH. I can’t forget about my Dad Fletch. He’s up there doing his thing, like he always does, and it’s fucking great. He’s in the band, and he’s DM’s biggest cheerleader, I swear. Idk about anyone else, but his bops and waves and funny little shuffly dances between his beep-boops on the synth totally get me hype. I love Fletch. And, let’s not forget Peter & Christian, who let’s face it…are just as much a part of DM at this point than the 3 original amigos. Peter fucking goes HAM on the drums. I’ve never seen a drummer quite like him. I literally felt every beat in my throat. And Peter, in addition to being a great keyboardist and singer, he fucking SLAPS on the bass. Damn. Man. I mean, I’m so stoked that I saw them once, but twice!!! FUCK. Cos on the second gig, that’s when they devaited from the regular set & busted out all the classic jams–did I mention they played Policy Of Truth?? Cos they did that, too. Damn. DAMN.

I love Depeche Mode. I love them even more now. I’m going home a changed person, cos I’m now one of the lucky ones who got to see them. It’s like all the shit I had to put up with this year were dues I had to pay in order for this to happen. I guess I’m glad, because this is one of the big ones…I can say I did that now. I hope I can do it again. Sigh.

[very-grownup]

In which a shark realizes his desire to fuck a robot (with golf)

BFF: DECLARATION OF WAR (I stared at the sidebar for a while before I remembered that not every usage of 'Unbearable' or 'Stakes' had to be a pun).

YHB: Sometimes it is just HARDCORE

YHB: That's my boy, Rion

BFF: IT'S ALL GOOD (oh no he's using his murder voice)

YHB: YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF IT ISN'T ALL GOOD

YHB: Guys who fucked up in changing Robot's oil?

BFF: THESE HANDS WANT TO GOLF

YHB: Oh, Rion changed Robot's oil, it all makes sense now.

YHB: I will stop making jokes about Robot being a fucking robot when IT IS PROVEN TO ME THAT HIS MOTHER ISN'T A SCOTTISH ROBOTICIST WHO MADE A ROBOT SON WITH HER GOLF CHEF HUSBAND'S INPUT

BFF: BEEP BOOP ROBOT DESIRE WINNING?

BFF: I AM FIRMLY IN THE SCOTTISH ROBOTICIST CAMP AS WELL

YHB: wait wait wait Robot hasn't won any of these other dudes over yet

YHB: HIGH FIVE that is why we are best friends

BFF: every panel of the GOLF GENERALS is the best

YHB: shaaaaaaaaark

BFF: OH MAN IS HE GOING TO HAVE A SHARK THEMED SUPER SHOT

YHB: WE CAN ONLY HOPE

BFF: PUNCHING YOUR ARM IT'S REALLY HAPPENING I'M SO PROUD OF ROBOT

YHB: HE IS GONNA BEAT THAT SHARK SO GOOD AND HOPEFULLY HIS NEW FRIEND WILL NOT BE EATEN BY SAID SHARK

BFF: TAKE MY ENERGY KAZAMA

YHB: I BET SHARKS ARE REALLY GOOD AT SHOOTING OVER BODIES OF WATER

YHB: DON'T LET THAT PSYCH YOU OUT KAZAMA

BFF: NO PRESSURE BUT BOTH SHARKS AND GOLF SUPERVISORS ARE WATCHING YOU FOR ANY MISTAKES

YHB: NO KAZAMA DON'T LOOK AT THE GOLF TEAM MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF UNIVERSAL STUDIOS MONSTERS AND ALSO A SHARK

BFF: GOLF MONSTERS

YHB: HE HAS SHARK DISTORTION ON HIS FONT

BFF: OH MY GOD HE DOES ALSO HIS EYEEEES

YHB: I LOVE HIS EYES SO MUCH I LOVE HOW SENSEI HAS GONE WILD WITH THE EYES IN GOLF

YHB: He's not showing us his true form yet

BFF: SHOOOOM (very quick trip for coffee then RETURN TO PERHAPS SEE HIS TRUE FORM)

BFF: BACK

YHB: SHARK FEARS NOT WATER

BFF: IS HE NOT AFRAID OF THE LAKE?!

YHB: HE'S AFRAID OF NOTHING, HE GONNA FUCK YOU UP

BFF: GASP

BFF: THE EYEBALLS

BFF: THE MOST AGGRESSIVE MAN IN GOLF

BFF: SO MUCH TO ENJOY ON THIS PAGE

YHB: THOSE EYES ❤

BFF: r...robot? beep boop?

YHB: Is Kazama going to have to do an emergency hard reboot?

BFF: A NEW FEELING AWAKENS WITHIN ROBOT

BFF: Oh man I like the detail (the tee getting kicked up into air and spinning) ALSO HE HIT THE GOLF BALL SO HARD HE BLEW THEIR FACES OFF

YHB: ROBOT IS GONNA FUCK THIS SHARK UP~

BFF: YES REACTION FACES

YHB: don't fuck that robot, shark

BFF: PFFFF THIS IS SO GOOD

YHB: I KNOW RIGHT? IT IS SO GOOD

YHB: ROBOT VERSUS SHARK

BFF: GOLF BOT VERSUS GOLF SHARK: GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT OF JAPAN ALSO HUMANITY

[djportrait]

What’s past is prologue

As 2017 dawns upon us, I find myself in a troubling time in the history of the American experiment. I spent 2016, like many people, in a state of cultural and political disarray following the deaths of David Bowie, Prince, and the American political system. 

In the past few years, I’ve undergone a great deal of transition: following a series of personal tragedies, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2014 and promptly began searching for answers to the existential questions that plagued the crevices of my then-troubled mind. In doing so, I’ve found virtues in my personal narrative that have allowed me to overcome the basic pangs that seem to plague so many individuals. 

Nowadays, however, I find myself in the dual role of full-time ‪David Bowie enthusiast (R.I.P.) and resigned manboy seeking work and direction: I’ve spent 2016 hopping from positions such as a management consultant, a brief stint as a real estate agent, and, most recently, as a backwaiter at a rooftop bar in Williamsburg.

In the face of this tumult, I’ve spent my few weeks of semi-employment looking for remunerative labor and a renewed sense of purpose. I scoured Craigslist for jobs ranging from the hospitality industry (poor choice) to administrative roles at creative firms and corporations.

In doing so, I stumbled across an ad for a part-time marketing and administrative position at a DJing company - Beat Train Productions - that piqued my interest. The role, while unpaid and temporary, seemed to offer a glimpse into a field that had long fascinated me but somehow evaded my participation.

I’ve been an audiophile for the duration of my brief existence thus far. From the age of 15, upon listening to Born to Run, I knew that some sort of cosmic connection existed between the then-indecipherable (and still largely alien, to be frank) language of rhythm, melody, lyricism, and instrumentation and my burgeoning self. After an obsessive and torrid love affair with Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen, I began delving into the antiquity of pop and rock: Van Morrison, The Beatles, The Clash, David Bowie - to name a few of my young loves - before moving to more “mature” and “sophisticated” tastes largely influenced by a best-new-music website that will remain unnamed (cough*Pitchfork*cough). Basically, it involved a lot of pretension involving revisionist ideas about the history of rock and pop, and an inordinate expenditure of time listening to Radiohead. I soon picked up the guitar after having abandoned it a few years prior, and started covering contemporary indie rock acts like Spoon, Neutral Milk Hotel, Arcade Fire, etc. in hopes of winning the admiration and unreciprocated affection of my high school inamorata after a brief but obsessive relationship.

In recent years, my tastes have expanded to the realms of dance music such as house, techno, and my friends' aptly titled nebulous genre of “beep-boop” music made by computers, and my eyes and ears were opened to body music after a brief obsession with James Murphy and his intellectual predecessors. On a recommendation issued by the aforementioned LCD frontman in an obscure interview, I picked up a book on the subject: Last Night a DJ Saved My Life by Bill Brewster and Frank Broughton. In doing so, I began (albeit slowly) to understand the basic function of music designed to get people to dance, and even the role that a DJ plays in curating an experience for an audience that has yet to be exposed to the music and its corresponding virtues and histories that fumbles through the DJ’s mind.

This meandering led me to this moment of encountering an otherwise unremarkable Craigslist ad, and the calculus that entered my brain was the following: I like music, I now have nothing to do since I got fired from the restaurant job after talking about politics too much, and it’s part time! This could be fun.

So I submitted an application. I was sans-phone for a bit, which made communication difficult, but after regaining cellular capabilities I had a quick call with Elissa - the General Manager of the company - before meeting in person with Ari - the founder of Beat Train. After briefly discussing Joseph Campbell, we quickly delved into our very apparent shared voraciousness for music. I talked about the books I’d read that summer on Songs in the Key of Life, Bowie’s period in Berlin, and Sign ‘O’ The Times, and he immediately shifted gears from discussing an administrative position to that of an apprenticeship.

His question, after a very brief pause in the conversation, was validating and surprising: “Why aren’t you a DJ?” The short answer rolling in my head was: I have no idea how to fucking DJ. I like music, but I’ve reserved an especially profound disdain for people who think that they can DJ by playing one song after the other or trying to light up a room with “Sandstorm." Also, from what I know about DJing, it seems like cheating: how can you just play other people’s songs and actually collect money from an audience? That’s ridiculous. Moreover, from what I understood and the knowledge I’d built about the DJing forefathers such as Francis Grasso, Larry Levan, Nicky Siano, and Frankie Knuckles, it seemed hard if you wanted to do it well. And I just felt that I didn’t have the technical ability to do so; in addition to a broken brain, God had found it fit to bestow a benign tremor to my skinny wrists as well.

Ari assured me, however, that the technical ability would come (and, he actually kind of implied that it would be easy) if I were willing to put in the work. In his estimation, my few defining characteristics and thus far unremunerative skills: an avid - ugh, I hate using this word unless it describes a fruit juice or the death of Christ - “passion” for music, ability to speak longwindedly about popular culture, and taste would give me the essential toolbox to construct a DJ. That brings me to the point of this blog: starting this Thursday (tomorrow, 5 January 2016), I’ll be embarking on an apprenticeship with an accomplished Brooklyn DJ who has, for reasons understood but skeptically accepted by yours truly, decided to take me under his wing and teach me the minutiae of the craft. I’m beyond excited, and have decided to use my dormant love of Tumblr to document my (knock on wood) growth and development in the progression of becoming a DJ.

I’m not going to make any promises and I hope that I won’t become someone who fancies himself to be the next Tiesto or Diplo. But, I wanted to use this opportunity to provide a lens into my experiences, both for myself and perhaps for anyone else who finds him or herself venturing down the path into the world of Disc Jockeys.

So, with that being said, welcome to my blog: Portrait of the DJ as a Young Man (I’m Irish, so it’s tough for me to avoid referring to Joyce in any interaction or endeavor). Ari has mandated that, in addition to the time we spend together on a weekly basis, I put in a minimum of 15 hours a week of homework and other assignments per his direction. This will hopefully be a good kick in the ass for me.

First up, a preliminary assignment: the viewing of Scratch - a documentary - before my meeting with Ari. I watched half of it while falling asleep last night, and it explores and exalts the technique of turntablism in hip hop culture, the distinction between DJing and MCing, and the legacy of the Zulu Nation and Afrika Bambaata - an important figure in the history of hip hop and DJing to whom I was introduced in Last Night a DJ Saved My Life. (Note: he was also accused of child molestation by several of his former proteges, so remember that just because someone is culturally significant doesn’t nullify their transgressions. Special s/os to Woody Allen and Bill Cosby for keeping that lesson fresh in the national consciousness.)

To anyone reading this, I’m excited to have you along for the ride. I would assume that no one is, so I’m just going to tell myself the mantra of my frolicking forefathers: Let’s Boogie.

[grubhivemind]

AURYHN: -it's a BEAUTIFUL MORNING. of course, every morning on avalon is beautiful if you ask auryhn, but skaia is nice too... he decides to spend this time with kavi, dropping in at his apartment to invite him out for brunch.- 

AURYHN: -KNOCK KNOCK on kavi's door.-

KAVI: =Finally his board charged up enough to get him home.... yeah he  could walk but who the fuck even WALKED anymore. Bums without hoverboards is who. His watch vibrates with an alert someone knocking on his door. Tapping at the interface he sees it's Auryhn... Yay! Wait. SHIT. Some more watch tapping and he patches himself through his home audio and pulls up his wind resistent mouth piece.= who is it? =Sing-songy like he already knows. PCHOOOOOS back home=

AURYHN: -grins, completely UNAWARE of the situation.- It's me~! ~}==> -replies just as cheesily.-

KAVI: =bless his soul= ooh hi Me, i don't know any Mes but since this Me sounds strapping and attractive how can i not let them into my home? be right there =Disconnects and descends= 

KAVI: =He could slow down.... but that's for wimps. Taps more at his watch to open his balcony doors. Capchas the board, action rolls in and jogs across the room to open the door. Leaning there heavily, panting lightly= hello lover ;)

AURYHN: -still wearing that dorky smitten grin of his.- Good morning, deerheart! ~}==> 

AURYHN: You look-- -pauses to actually inspect him.- Winded? ~}==>

KAVI: =Deerheart.... what a nerd. Leans up to kiss his cheek= lol... windswept maybe =Don't mind the bags... which he knows he has so he shrugs= 

KAVI: uh, yknow... long night

AURYHN: -frowns sympathetically- I see... Then you haven't slept? ~}==> -he spots those bags.-

KAVI: =Mmm, it's tempting to lie but that's not really useful to anyone. He just casts a glance down the hallway. Casual like= nnnnot in the traditional sense 

KAVI: but i'm still good, just not tired

AURYHN: So it's a matter of restlessness ~}==> -he concludes, and then considers this.- 

AURYHN: Very well! Then we have no choice but to find methods of relaxing you! ~}==> -he's decided this is his project for today and carefully turns kavi around to march him back inside his apartment.-

KAVI: =Waffles and hashbrowns though... not that he was aware of the plans he's just glad to spend time with Auryhn= lol yeah we can if you want 

KAVI: =is marched back in-- oops he left the balcony doors open... Boop boop beep on the watch and closes them= i'm ready to be soothed by your smooth jazz stylings babe 

KAVI: take me away like i'm Natasha Bedingfield, minus all the stoners planting labels on my lyrics. it's not weed guys, calm down

AURYHN: -eyeballs the balcony doors as he catches a glimpse of them closing. hmm... suspicious... but he won't worry about it too much for now, plopping kavi down onto his couch and immediately giving his shoulders a rub.- Jazz, hmm? That's an excellent idea... Let's put on some soothing music! That always helps me ~}==> -of course, soothing music for him is heavy metal-

KAVI: =Mmm the rubs. Bless these strong troll man hands. Grinning because... yes... he knows this= are you going to sing me to sleep on a bitchin guitar riff, Pegasus?

AURYHN: I could if you wanted me to! ~}==> -grins, leans in to kiss his cheek- 

AURYHN: However, I have a feeling that would only excite you more ~}==> -chuckles, releasing his grip on kavi's shoulders to produce his comm, hooking up a little speaker to it before he settles on a playlist. some jazzy chill beats he thinks kavi will like. it's relaxing... but romantic too. a win-win for everybody.-

KAVI: =huffs a soft laugh= excite is a word they use for it, sure 

KAVI: =This musical choice is good though, he does love his slow jams and tbh the saxophone is one of the sexiest instruments?  Was Auryhn behind him or next to him? Either way there's arms in his direction. Let the cuddles commence tho=

AURYHN: -yes, good, he's leaning back against the couch with kavi wrapped up tight in his arms. he allows for quiet to prolong between them so the music can fill the air and their senses. but after a moment, he speaks again, softly.- 

AURYHN: Tell me... Is there something on your mind that's keeping you awake? ~}==>

KAVI: =Yesss. He's still not really tired. Mentally at least but his body is a tad peeved with him riding around for most of the night. Legs especially. They're kind of flipping him off. So he's snug against Auryhn-tiddy just listening to he music and jamming lazily with small bobs of the head or hums to repeat chords . Honing in whenever Auryhn speaks though= 

KAVI: mmmn. kinda, maybe i guess. 

KAVI: it's never really... a thing, like, it might start out that way but then it's like fuckin rabbits in all manners of speaking

AURYHN: Ah, yes... I can relate to an escalation like that ~}==> 

AURYHN: Surely there's a root issue we can focus on and work from there... Or perhaps we could focus on any thought at all! I only know that burning off energy is only so successful when battling your inner demons ~}==>

KAVI: gets you ripped as fuck though =rubs Auryhn's chest and tum, pat pat pat pat= 

KAVI: choice 

KAVI: .... but uh, i guess still thinkin about dem bois. especially with shit having hit the fan.... Colt seems 

KAVI: fine? maybe. i mean, he was eating bones so probably not, not that i'm one to judge someone's bone intake 

KAVI: Joel... idk, haven't heard from him.... not that i messaged him. which is helpful 

KAVI: so. just makes me wonder, if i'm doing this shit right i guess =traces lines over his stomach=

AURYHN: Surely your brothers know how deeply you care about them... ~}==> -rubs at his shoulder- 

AURYHN: This feud is their own, and it is their responsibility to rectify whatever has driven them to such extremes... Though, I can't say I know exactly what's going on between them! ~}==> 

AURYHN: But I know plenty about sibling rivalry... Slepna and I rarely see eye-to-eye, but there is a bond much stronger between us that no disagreement can break ~}==> 

AURYHN: It's the same for them, and the same for you... I believe they'll work it out! And if they require your help in doing so, they will seek it ~}==> 

AURYHN: I do not doubt you've made yourself available to them... However, if you're worried, I don't think it would hurt to simply check in on them ~}==>

KAVI: ... i did talk to Joel, and i mean that's me reaching out i guess and it went about as i guessed it would.... 

KAVI: still that was like. a day before everything fucking happened 

KAVI: "maybe" is a shitty word but hey, maybe if i cracked less jokes and tried to get serious and talk to them 

 KAVI: if you and Slepna hypothetically had your heads up your respective asses then wouldn't, you want someone there with a crowbar to assist in dislodging?

AURYHN: Ah... Well... Perhaps not ~}==> -chuckles- 

AURYHN: We are both very stubborn and prideful, as you know! This does seem to be the case with Colt and Joel as well ~}==> 

AURYHN: Still, approaching it more seriously might help! If they see how it effects more than just themselves... It could give them some perspective ~}==>

KAVI: =snorts softly= yeah i'm pretty aware :P 

KAVI: ...guess that means i shouldn't give 'em the other end of the crowbar then..... they've probably been through enough... maybe let it. calm down 

KAVI: =And not do anything haha..=

AURYHN: At the very least, allow yourself to calm down... I hate to see you out of sorts because of it ~}==> 

AURYHN: You're a good brother, Kavi... There's no need to feel so responsible for them ~}==> -presses a kiss to his head-

KAVI: =Exhales softly and nuzzles into him. He felt a bit like less than a good brother what with all the secrets, how long it took and had taken him to be bit more open around his siblings about actual things.= 

KAVI: thanks, i'll try... =sighs...... inahles and sighs harder.... sits up on the sofa to gently headlock Auryhn and flops over his lap to drag him down to cuddle. SIGHS LOUDLY AND DRAMATICALLY.= alright that's more than enough about me, tell me how my Champion's doing. also you too,how are both my babies?

AURYHN: -OOF, he chuckles, reclining further and wrestling him into snuggles.- We're in tip top health, as usual! ~}==> 

AURYHN: There's been an awful lot of funny business happening around Avalon... Not that this is terribly unusual, but there have been some disappearances... ~}==> -frowns- 

AURYHN: We're doing what we can, but it's been a challenge to find any leads regarding their whereabouts ~}==>

KAVI: =Good. This is his now, has a loose hold on him and plays with the ponytail. Pulls a face= 

KAVI: that's super not great... yikes 

KAVI: is it town disappearances or is this diving into the unknown junglescape where nothing makes sense and is super, incredibly not fantastic at all?

AURYHN: Well... It is likely they are connected to the paranormal phenomenon of the forest ~}==> 

AURYHN: In fact, it seems very likely they were just spirited away! But I'm certain there is still a way we can rescue them ~}==>

KAVI: yeah it's definitely not great. just careful while you're out there, kay? =He loves the heroic aspect of Auryhn's personality but it could also get him into some dangerous fuckin happenings. Avalon isn't the most dangerous place sans for the forest.... and since this probably involved that he's worried= 

KAVI: don't go around sayin shit like "wow, can't believe my retirement is today" or "man this has been such a good day, what could possibly go wrong?" 

 KAVI: also "i love living and being alive" =puts hand over his mouth briefly= also "oh HUN i'll never disappear" then you do your signature brawny laugh and give me a dorky grin and i look into the camera and scream on the inside

AURYHN: BUT I DO LOVE LIVING AND BEING ALIVE! I HAVE TO SAY IT LOUD AND PROUD! ~}==> -GUFFAW- 

AURYHN: I understand your concerns... And believe me, the last thing I want to do is endanger myself! I'm no help to anyone dead ~}==> -says reassuringly-

KAVI: =Babe please, he snickers and rubs Auryhn's face= 

KAVI: truuueeeee =Smooches that face= 

KAVI: who else am i going to imagine when i'm feeling my inner Bonnie and start holding out for a hero?

AURYHN: I can hardly imagine anyone else who quite fits the bill! ~}==> -FLEXES and also returns the smooch.-

KAVI: =:eyes: flex and touches. Yessssss. Still Kavi puts on a coy smile, casually pawing Auryhn's muscles= i can think of a guy KAVI: he's the strong, strapping type

AURYHN: -gasps- Oh really? Who? ~}==> -WHO IS THE OTHER DOG. he will fight him.-

KAVI: yeah man, maybe you've seen him =gently undoes that ponytail and combs his fingers through Auryhn's hair= he's enthusastic, a good dude 

KAVI: great ass which is essential to heroism 

KAVI: goes by the moniker A-a-ron 

KAVI: there's been a distinctive lack of spandex but an influx of deep-vs which i appreciate greatly