#I LITERALLY FEEL INSANE ABOUT HER??? I NEED MORE OF HER LORE SO BADLY

[artheresy]

OH I’M GOING TO BE SO ANNOYING ONCE 1.4 COMES OUT, I HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE PREPARED AND I HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE READY FOR ME TO RANT ABOUT WVERY SINGLE THOUGHT HCQ RELATED THAT COMES TO MY HEAD

Thinking about,, Blade v Jingliu,,, the shot of them sparring together back when he was Yingxing *sobs*

[gooselycharm]

hi there! i'd just like to say that your kris and noelle "something else" comic has been driving me insane /pos and i'd love to hear more of your thoughts on those two!! their relationship is one of my favorite things in deltarune and your comic just got everything about them so right 🙏

thank you for reading "something else"! oh man, [more of] my thoughts on kris+noelle.... i sure got some of those.

this was one of the first tweets i made after finishing chapter 2 nearly... freaking 2 years ago. and basically i've just been saying that over and over again in different ways because i'm still not tired of the concept yet and probably wont ever be LOL. i'm obsessed with how badly the narrative wants to force them into an easily categorizable dynamic, especially the romantic one in snowgrave. the literal THORN RING, the more possessive dialogue options, spamton calling noelle a side chick LOL... it all creates this unnerving visual novel bad end atmosphere that feels manufactured by someone who's only ever learned about romance through secondhand sources. they're two queer teens trying to navigate their changing relationship with the only role models they know being their parents' own failed heterosexual marriages. they're so divorced² (divorced children of divorce).

i also like that for being so tragically doomed coded they can be funny! both in a dark humor way and also like, genuinely funny, like the stories of them as kids with kris covering themselves in ketchup and hiding under noelle's bed lmao. i mean there's even something funny about the romantic trappings of the snowgrave route, like trying to put wedding cake embellishments on a crime scene... you know, funny like kids trying on their parents clothes but they're too big and for some reason they're also crying and covered in blood? um.

i'm also SOOOO interested to see how snowgrave will continue in chapter 3! i really liked the hopeful note chapter 2 ended on (well. i took it as hopeful anyway). there's that bit where noelle is talking to herself and she says something like "recently kris has been acting so strange and no one else has noticed... i have to figure out why" and then kris jumpscares her LOL but i think i took that one line and really ran with it. noelle really is the one who knows kris best and despite how scared she is, she's still determined to help them... i like the little subversion of victim/hero going on, the implication that kris might be the one who needs rescuing.

the additional story/lore that came with the spamton sweepstakes made me CRAAAZYYYYY like my GOD... it's cute that noelle likes glitches/creepypasta when kris is kinda a walking creepypasta <3 also, god, noelle falling asleep listening to kris playing piano in the other room... there's so much like. wistfulness and nostalgia and this like... distant/detached intimacy packed into how noelle narrates that scene. it's kind of funny how much there is to dig into when like on a surface level they're just fairly regular childhood friends who grew apart LMAO they're extremely deep to me okay...

on another note i guess i do ship them? i like their dynamic whether it's platonic or romantic (the best is a weird mix of both 👍). it just can't be boring LOL like... this is one ship where trying to apply cookie cutter tropes to them really falls flat and the game is ahead of you on that anyway. in terms of romantically shipping them, i honestly don't think they're doomed to repeat patterns forever... i think they could actually be good for each other! but that's not really the aspect of their relationship that interests me akldjf;alk;sdg maybe i will make 60 page comic of kriselle going to couples counseling some other time

ANYWAY i'm going to cut myself off here, because i really could go on forever lol. i'll give you some links for further reading though

hellspawnmotel's deltarune art

lula pillowbug99's deltarune art

this art by raspbearis which features prominently in my internal kriselle bible

my own unfinished kriselle playlist

my own essay on gender & allegory in deltarune if for some reason u are not tired of hearing me talk yet

okay bye now & thanks again for reading my comic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hawkgirlz]

Hi,

I'm a fan of DC comics and I got into it by watching justice league unlimited as a kid and always liked the character of shayera though I was always a wonder woman fan first so I don't know the lore of hawkgirl as much. I was just wondering why you dislike the shayera version of hawkgirl? or if you don't dislike that version do you just prefer kendra saunders version?

oooh we might be here for a while so prepare for a long post.

dcau shayera is to me, a fantasy that men clearly wrote because they didn't want to actually interact with her political side. i alreadyade a big post about why i hate the john/shayera pairing but when you compare her writing in the dcau to her comics, it's just really bad.

her appearing as hawkgirl even though comic shayera hated the hawkgirl name and never went by it post crisis was the real thing that agitated me. it purposely confused people who wanted to read the hawks comics and it spoiled kendra's chances of being her own character in a way that didn't mean being a dcau shayera replacement. pushing a white redhead as hawkgirl when kendra already existed and was confirmed to be latina + was clearly somewhat brown just caused insane damage. even the actresses who play kendra get racist hate for not being a white redhead when she's not even playing shayera.

another stupid thing is that shayera's last name is hol but her husband's name is hro talak. but the thing is, post crisis shayera went by shayera thal because it was a reboot and she was no longer married to katar. WHY did they keep shayera's last name hol when she's not married to katar hol???? it's like these writers were high when reading her comics. i've genuinely never seen a comic character get this badly adapted that they mess up BOTH of her names.

let's start with her beef with wonder woman pre-starcrossed. her beef with wonder woman was originally because of an arc that addressed feminism. shayera's purpose was to basically be the man obsessed woman who says the thanagarians are sexist and her reasoning for all of this is. sex. literally just sex.

now in comics, shayera was a human trafficking victim, a victim of sexual abuse, etc. and when she interacted with diana in comics, they would make fun of men together. so to portray her lime THAT, on top of her main trait being cheater is just. really not a good look at all. i mean all of her storylines revolved around men. she never even defeated the villain in starcrossed and needed a john stewart who didn't evem have a ring to save her. it's also funny to me how the male writers claimed she was masculine or not like other women because she growled or whatever and it's like. comic shayera was wearing a suit and tie to galas. dcau shayera wears crop tops when comic shayera said they made her feel naked. like what masculinity are we talking about here lol.

another thing i remembered is that during this arc, shayera was shocked when she found out arisia was an orphan and was like "oh the pain she went through must have been unimaginable" and it's treated like a joke for batman cause he's sitting right there. but the thing is..... shayera was literally an ORPHAN in comics. comics literally never make you forget she's an orphan, she's always talking about being raised in the slums. on top of never getting her actual origin in the dcau minus that super orientalist bad take on ancient egypt, we NEVER get her origin.

and on top of her writing just being so bad. comic shayera was indoctrinated into the thanagarian government and agreed to spy on katar for said facist government, yes. but like. comic shayera literally KNOWS these people aren't good. and that's what made her so complex and she later realizes she's in the wrong and gets exiled from thanagar abd becomes more progressive.

the dcau version on other hand is just so insanely watered down. even though she's ordered to find out the jl's weaknesses, she somehow didn't know they were planning on destroying earth and wanted to build some FORCEFIELD. like what???? genuinely how can you be that stupid???? especially when dcau shayera literally says her planet is about war which would obviously mean her friends would get hurt. i just can't fathom this plot, there's no way she was that dumb. it just made her look bad like atp i don't blame diana for hating her.

also in comics, it was shayera's thanagarian father behind the original thanagarian invasion, he was a military general. not an evil hawkman rip off. so once again, another interesting plot removed for cracskhip romance drama.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Omg megumi and Yuta are my favs after Inumaki LMAO (I’m Lowk salty that we did not get ANY lore exploration of Inumaki but maybe it’s better that way so he stays alive atp)

No the hating mainstream things to be “unique” is so eugh honestly like just because somethings mainstream doesn’t mean it’s basic…but exactly I’ve definitely lost the spark with jjk I think it just got too confusing? And I was losing the essence of the story and idk I know geges said before that that they’ve wanted to end jjk earlier but something about the editor saying no…? I feel like sometimes the lack of motivation kinda peeks through with how the story was done….which I get because writers block/art block and just burn out in general is so real I just wish circumstances were different lmao…

Also yeah the “jjk has the best female characters” ideation…hmm..it’s def better than the blatantly sexualized ones but at this point it kinda feels like a bare minimum/low standard thing that they ARENT sexualized like in most shounen content that makes people say this (i agree like wtf happened with yuki we barely saw her honestly?? Don’t get me started on tsumiki i was expecting them to take a route where maybe she’d actually wake up and play a more conscious role but what the hell was that)

NO LITERALLY im all for analysis and leaving some things open ended but idk in jjk it was just excessive that it turned into confusion like…the constant guessing and insane analysis that needed to be done to clarify things or try to parse things together is not my favorite…agreed that the story should not have to rely on deep level analysis to be understood!

Yeah I’ve definitely lost my emotional ties with jjk its just like well I got this far i might as well see how it ends

LMAO WIGGLY that made me think of a worm on a string but I see what you mean! One track soccer mind doesn’t give much room to explore lolll but it was executed very well hehe

LMAOO it’s the pipeline of shitting on side characters to loving them but I can’t with his hair cut…also don’t think he’s ugly like I guess he’s objectively relatively good looking? But yeah I never fully saw the appeal (it’s funny because I know a good amount of people who prefer him to Rin when I’m the opposite lol) and the Gojo aura LOL

THE ACCURACY IS INSANE the way I would have never known if you didn’t mention it (I don’t think I would’ve even noticed if I wrote it) the fact checking goes crazy LMAO but I love it honestly the research def gives the story more depth and feel to it rather than just a one shot/story that kinda just floats in the void of the universe or something…gives it ties to reality and an actual grounding in the world! (This was worded so badly lmao)

It’s always Karasu….I think it’s partially also because some manga scenes of him are a little goofy because they give him that smile that almost cuts across his entire face to give him that kinda evil looking smirk….and the anime style kinda striking that awkward balance of maintaining those features but not putting enough detail to go full asshole def makes it a little goofy LOL (but in art they put more effort into like the S2 trailer/teaser visual he looks great with all the shading)

And LMAOO IKR!!! I always think back to that I’m like KURONA WAS 4??? Bro wasn’t even on the field in the u20 match so I was Lowk a bit shocked haha, iirc Kiyora was also 5?? Like the discrepancy makes me laugh ik people probably developed during the second selection but the drastic change always gets me

Your tag with the arrow has me feeling idk why I found that so funny LOL

Also SHSHS drowsy allergy medicine is the worst…I hope you weren’t having a severe reaction or anything and also that you feel better soon!!!

-Karasu anon

there’s def a lot of areas where there could be more lore (rika’s character page is so odd??) just because of how many characters there are i think!! but i do feel like the story is wrapping up so some things might just be left as questions. or not, who knows!!

yeah there’s def a cycle of like thing gets popular -> everyone loves it -> it becomes so over saturated that people start hating on it to be different -> it becomes overhated -> in a few years everyone realizes it wasn’t that bad. the biggest problem w the “hating as a trend” is that it takes away from legitimate criticisms of the work, as fans will lump it into general hating for no reason.

besides just analyses being so important for even basic comprehension of the plot, i’ve noticed a lot of the storyline is dependent on random interviews gege has done. like nobara’s death only being confirmed because of an interview years after it was written is RIDICULOUS to me (even though i already thought she was dead tbh but there was enough speculation in the fandom that it obviously wasn’t clear enough in-story). things like interviews and character pages should give you fun additional information that can help you expand on a character (oh rin likes horror games!! karasu is scared of the water!! etc etc) but it shouldn’t be the MAIN source of KEY info on a character. idk i think a lot of people love what jjk could be at this point and not necessarily what it is.

YESS i honestly was not super pleased by the female characters in jjk!! they are cool, and they COULD be well written, but they aren’t. i think in terms of its contemporaries, demon slayer does female characters better than jjk (again, not saying they’re perfect because they aren’t, but, say, shinobu is a stronger character to me than even maki).

jjk is a sunk cost fallacy for me HAHA i’ve been into it for over 2.5 years now so i have to see how it ends but i don’t really care atp what happens 😭 i’m like an unbiased outsider…idk it’s sad i wish i could’ve stayed invested but i only even know leaks are dropping because my social media blows up whenever they do.

OMG i also think rin is better looking than sae but i find sae easier to write for some reason?? idk why 😫 like sae is canonically only interested in soccer at least rin likes horror stuff but honestly between the two of them it feels easier to separate sae from soccer than rin?? if only marginally so hahaha. sae occasionally expresses regret at only knowing abt soccer so i feel like he’d be more willing to open himself to new experiences if sufficiently prodded whereas rin is SO invested in soccer (because soccer = his relationship w his brother) that he doesn’t even seem like he could have a proper friendship w someone let alone an actual relationship 😔

it really is always karasu…i do think manga can get away w exaggerating certain features (ex karasu’s smirk) that anime can’t so they have to figure out a way to balance it — maybe it’s the static nature of manga vs the motion of anime?? although karasu hasn’t been smirking much in pxg vs bm 😕 give my boy his swag otoya back!! HAHA but i also think he was such a background character in that one scene of season one that they just didn’t gaf abt him. he’s looked really good in all of the s2 promotional material so i have faith he will be done well!!

KURONA AND KIYORA MY RANDOM AHH KINGS 🙏🏻 they came outta nowhere but they’re slaying atm…ig the hundred goal thing only tested a very specific aspect of playing soccer?? like shooting without anyone on you which doesn’t really translate to an actual game 🤔 like in bllk vs u20 they needed defenders and midfielders who wouldn’t necessarily score but were integral to the game 👆🏻 plus they didn’t all go in at the same time so better players like tabieitaken and shidou were ranked lower than randoms like tokimitsu probably just because they entered later 🤷🏻‍♀️

it wasn’t that bad!! i just got like overwhelmingly sleepy because i haven’t taken any in forever so i just crashed instead of staying up longer like i usually so haha. but i’m hoping to get the one shot out soon!! it’s pretty dumb but more karasu content is more karasu content 🤩

[murderofravens]

okay, first of all i would like to start off by saying that when i sent you that request— it was an honour knowing that you were going to write it. but now reading this absolute work of art, i can only say how much of a blessing it is that you didnt only write it but put so much love and soul into it. and it was genuinely, not even being dramatic, the best decision ever.

im totally not freaking out

just reading this i can tell how much fun you had writing it— the lore behind it is good enough to make a fucking MOVIE. genuinely. if someone made this into a movie i would watch the fuck out of it. i cannot thank you enough for giving me something so terrifyingly good to read. the bested thing in this is how well you characterized everyone and how you connected them by the end— shiu freeing toji and toji eventually killing hiromi by the end. i had a deep sense of horror just reading this because this genuinely was so beautifully toxic. when shiu called toji— i didnt expect it to actually happen.

one moment you feel so happy because shiu is genuinely such a good, supportive father. the other you are angry because of the way he treated hiromi— do something that he probably didnt deserve to happen to him. but then you're so angry because hiromi, a man who loves justice so much, is taking out that rage on shiu's innocent daughter. and that raises such conflicting, complex feelings in me that i didnt understand who to root for at first, until it got out of hand.

i love how you characterized the reader as well, may i add.

this specific part... i read this and immediately knew this was a 100/10 because i have never read anything that i have related to more in my life. everything about this was amazing. and its so rare that you find fics where the side characters are fleshed out so wonderfully.. like READER'S MOM??? fuck.. it was just so fucking amazing. nobara was such a good friend too. i dont have enough words to describe just what a rollercoaster of emotions this was and how grateful i am that you took my request and created something so fucking wonderful out of it.

now about hiromi.. ever since he got introduced i genuinely felt nervous. i could feel the reader's emotions myself. he was so fucking nauseating and pure EVIL for using her need for validation against her to the point she couldnt recognize herself. i see myself in her so much and while i usually hate myself for these same reasons, this fic opened my eyes and made me want to give us both a hug.

reader and her mom's bond almost had me in tears because it was so realistic. i would read absolutely anything you write about things like this because you have such an insane way of expressing emotions and bonds through words. she frustrated me so much but i could also tell she was trying— and seeing her development from a shy girl shiu met to such a strong personality was amazing.

toji..tojtojrinrofjrojrirjrorjrir i need him SO BAD. i nees both him and shiu BAD im.so sorry. i need them in my life. the ending line is so so cold, so terrifyingly RAW, shiu is just amazing. i wish i had a father like him, you gave him a personality and a bond with the reader so amazing i almost forgot i was reading a hiromi fic at the start. i loved this so much. and the smut oh my god. im sorry but i was HURTINGGG just reading it because lord... no natter how toxic i need him SO BAD. is it bad i would lrt him do anything to me.. fuck. this was just fucking incredible.

thank you so much for writing this.. for adding the best kinks in it and to actually make it as toxic as it was. it had my heart racing and i literally am soo curious about how reader would react if she were to find out what happened. i feel so sad because im also kinda sensitive so a part of me hopes that higuruma liked her just a teeny tiny bit.. but of course he didnt, shiu wronged him so badly. it was such a good read and i love you for it..thankyou so so so so so much. you did my request justice in a way no one else could. you took a seed and made a gold tree out of it. i love you so much, this was the bestest thing ive ever read and ill keep coming back to it.

★ VISCERAL CHOKEHOLD.

no one ever thought you would make it this far, and maybe you wouldn't have without higuruma's help.

( fic demographics. ) jujutsu kaisen, higuruma hiromi, dark content & sexually mature | minors, ageless & blank blogs: do not interact & 16,232 words !

╰┈➤ law professor!higuruma hiromi & law student!reader (she/her), professor x student relationship, insecure!reader, power imbalance, large age gap, toxic & verbally abusive relationship, smut: dubcon (manipulation), dacryphilia, blowjob, minor finger sucking, hardcore degredation, face slapping, rough sex, choking, unprotected sex, featuring hitmam!fushiguro toji, private investigator!nanami, and lawyer!shiu kong as your father, alluded character death, etc.

( @murderofravens said . . . ) hello lovely!! . . . since you're taking requests i was wondering if i could please have a hiromi higuruma piece? perhaps something along the lines of him being reader's law professor? with power dynamics, lots of tension and maybe some angst, and smut if you don't mind? you could make it toxic as well . . . no pressure, of course, thank you so much and hope ur doing okay! <3

╰┈➤ author's response: this is the shit im talking about !! babes, you got my mind enlargening because this was such a good request that the plot jumped right onto the screen for me. mwah !! i hope this satisfies you !!

When people talk about your father, they speak nothing but praises, saying how he’s such a beast in court. They glorify his name and how he's gotten the innocent to roam freely on the streets again. They praise him on his judgment, bringing justice to the right people and condemning the guilty in the process. His voice would boom in court as he swayed the jury’s mind, his deep and commanding tone something that had people right under his thumb. He had great relationships with the judges and made plenty of enemies with lawyers who secretly sought to be like him. When women heard his name, they were scampering in hopes to get a moment alone with him.

He often found himself perched at the bar, sitting on a stool as he leaned against the counter where the bartender would pass him a glass of sake. It was a little celebration ritual that he had whenever he won a case, which was quite often. He grabs his pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his brown suit jacket, lighting one up as the butt of it would sizzle and red sparks would light up ablaze. He’d buy a drink for himself and the man he just set free, this one being Toji Fushiguro.

“I don’t think I could thank you enough,” the man with a scarred lip smiles, taking the glass of bourbon and barely putting it to his lips. He appreciated the courtesy, but he didn’t really enjoy drinking. Didn’t find pleasure in it. Shiu could see that, noticing how the glass always rested in his hands and when he did bring it to his lips, it stayed at the same level.

“Then don’t,” he chuckled, downing his glass in one go. “Bourbon not your cup of tea? You ordered it.”

“Yeah, I did,” Toji shrugged. “Didn’t want to make you feel bad to be the only one drinking.”

“Well, I still am,” Shiu chuckles. The rest of the night goes without much conversation. Shiu drowns out the stress of today’s case, letting it dissipate with shots of whatever liqueur he was craving next and the buzz of nicotine blackening his lungs. He loved the scene a bar could give him, a chance to people-watch strangers and get their life story just from how they spend their time. His favorite person to watch was a woman around his age, always here around the same time he was, just like clockwork.

At first, he thought she was one of those women that liked to flock around him after learning that he was a well-established lawyer. However, he doesn’t quite think so. Her eyes would flicker to him every so often and they always seemed shy— not the one anyone would try to feign. She’d grow easily flustered, but never unmoving. Neither of them had taken the first step at approaching each other, only enjoying the lingering gaze when the other thought they weren’t looking. 

“For some hot shot in the courtroom, you seem pretty pathetic right now,” Toji chuckles, finally taking a swig of the bourbon in his hand. He found the scene grotesque, watching his lawyer that was so domineering in the courtroom get all shy for a woman. Watching the both of them eye-fuck each other made him nauseaus. “Just go up to her.”

“Mmm,” Shiu shuffles on the stool, eyes trailing back to the stunning woman. He’s always talked himself out of it, even now. “It doesn’t seem like the right moment.”

Toji can’t help but chuckle at that, eyes flickering from Shiu to the woman. “Right now seems like the perfect moment actually.”

However, Shiu remains still, belligerent on his choices. Considering the lengths that Shiu went to ensure that Toji didn’t land himself in jail, it seemed fair that the lad try to do him a favor in helping his lawyer land the woman of his dreams, even if it’ll only be for the night. The grazing of the chair legs against the wooden floor calls for Shiu’s attention as Toji stands up. “If you don’t, then I will. She seems to be my type as well.”

“What?” Shiu’s quick to his feet, watching how Toji sauntered over to the beauty herself. There’s no stopping the taller man, seeing how he approaches her and is quick to strike up conversation. Her eyes light up talking to Toji, and Shiu’s about to lose hope believing that the man had swept the woman off of her feet. He takes his seat back at the stool, back facing the two of them when he hears feet approaching him. He feels like he’s back in his teens again, shying away from what he wants. 

“Did you come back to gloat?” he asks, beckoning the bartender over for another glass. A soft and feminine chuckle calls for his attention, that glum feeling quickly reverting to disbelief. The fine dime herself standing right before him as she’s fidgeting with the bangles around her wrist. She’s prettier up close, her curly hair out and sporting an afro as it rises in volume. Beautiful skin that the blue lights don't do justice to her skin tone. Her lips shine under the light when she smiles, lined in a shade or two darker than her complexion underneath the gloss. 

She’s nervous, he can tell, but she bats her eyelashes cutely as she tilts her head to the side. “No, actually I came to see if you’d like to have a drink with me.” 

Shiu has come to learn that her name’s (Y/M), a foreigner from America visiting Japan for vacation, but considering moving here permanently, trying to see if she could possibly qualify to teach English. (Y/M) learns that Shiu is a lawyer who’s contemplating on opening up his own law firm at some point, and that she’s managed to captivate the eyes of someone who could potentially financially secure her for the rest of her life if she’s willing to go on a couple of dates with him to see where this will lead. Toji’s long forgotten by now, but Shiu makes a mental note to thank the bastard when he gets the chance. Toji has found his way out the door shortly after his exchange with the woman, sure that Shiu’s got the bill covered. 

Shiu brings (Y/M) to his house not too long after. Hands roaming her body as her moans make his body melt into hers. It was an unforgettable night and it created a lasting future, where Shiu never planned to start his legacy so soon. However, with (Y/M)’s announcement that she’s pregnant brings him nothing but joy the moment it falls from her beautiful lips. He reassures her that she’ll never have to worry about a thing. And he’s made sure to keep his promise for the most part, rarely being her source of stress despite the amount of disagreements they’ve had. He is always trying to appease her in every way possible. It seems like the uncontrollable slowing the both of them down, one of them being you. 

Shiu always wanted children, a legacy to carry out his name with someone he loves. While he never anticipated having a child so soon within the relationship that’s barely started, he was more than ecstatic to have you, much to (Y/M)’s surprise. Shiu had ensured that her stay in Japan became permanent, buying a ring to decorate her left ring finger and marrying (Y/M) as soon as possible. He made her pregnancy a breeze, hiring a helper inside his home to aid with the household duties. When (Y/M) finally went into labor, Shiu made sure that she had time for herself during postpartum, not enjoying how she’d curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out in his chest, believing that she’d be a horrible parent. 

The issue wasn’t that you were a difficult child to take care of. No, you were easy, and maybe that was the issue itself. You were too easy. A saint and the apple of both of your parents’ eyes. The problem came when you were older and there wasn’t anything particularly… extraordinary about you. You didn’t have anything that really captivated anyone’s eye— no talent, no hobby that you found yourself hyper fixated in, nothing that called a spark within you. You were average in your studies to say the least. Shiu made sure to hire tutors whenever you were struggling with a certain subject. You didn’t really care for afterschool clubs or anything involving sports— you didn’t like to sweat, yuck. No, you just enjoyed mundane and locking yourself inside of your room despite both of your parents’ persistence in spending time with you. 

When people spoke about Shiu Kong, it was all praise and glory. However, when they spoke about his daughter, his only child, they hesitated to come up with the right words to say. One finger on their lips as they pondered how to sound polite. You were just average. There was nothing special about you and because of that, no one saw the potential that you could possibly have. 

Unfortunately, they never took the time to realize how their constant scrutinizing would impact you. How when they whispered about you, you would take notice of their quick glances immediately. How their smiles never met their eyes when they spoke to you and their compliments were fake, their pitch a bit too high to sound authentic when you showed them something you were doing. You hated it and wished that one day, someone would tell you what they thought right in front of your face with confidence. But, that day has yet to come. 

It brings you to shame that your parents can’t even be truthful to you. How they spoke to you so lovingly for years about how you had such a bright future ahead of you, but behind closed doors, they sounded concerned for your future. 

When Shiu and your mother believed that you were sound asleep, having tucked you in and told you goodnight already, they were downstairs doing their habitual night time ritual. Sitting at the dining table, they’re next to each other with a glass of red wine in front of them. Shiu swirls it as he looks inside the bulbous glass, watching it swivel around at his motions. His wife was sitting next to him as she had yet to touch her glass. Something was plaguing her mind and he knew that he had to pry it out of her with a simple question. “What’s on your mind, honey?”

Finally does she let out the heavy sigh that’s been residing heavily on her chest, forcing her down into a slump. Her posture straightens from what you can see, peeking from just around the corner. You’ve gotten better at this, seeing how they’ve yet to catch you in a heartbeat. “I’m worried about her, Shiu.”

“About what exactly?” He knows exactly what, but he always found it better when (Y/M) spoke out her thoughts, said everything from the depths of her soul. When she couldn’t find the right words, he’d help her scour for them.

“About her future,” (Y/M) sighs, afraid to admit this. “She’s not a very bright child.”

At that, your eyes widen as you let out a gasp. You had to cover your mouth in fear that they heard you, but they’re so immersed with each other, it leaves you in the clear. Your heart starts racing as your feet move involuntarily. Your steps manage to remain gentle as you climb them back and head back to your room. Unbeknownst to them that their daughter had overheard their conversation, Shiu and (Y/M) keep talking. Shiu’s head tilting in concern at the confession as he frowns. “What do you mean by that? (Y/N)’s a very…”

(Y/M) gives Shiu a knowing look, proving her point. “See? You can’t even finish your sentence.”

“Yes, but our child isn’t a dunce,” Shiu scolds. “Sure, her reports don’t reflect positive grades from time to time, but she gets the help she needs.”

“And what happens when she can’t get that assistance, hm?” (Y/M) retorts. “What happens when she takes her exams and they don’t positively reflect on her homework scores and project reports, then what?”

“You’re being ridiculous, (Y/M),” Shiu raises his voice, setting the wine glass down at his wife’s ridiculing of their daughter. “She’s only eight years old, and she’s not dumb. She just has a hard time grasping certain concepts. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”

“Yes, but what about everything else?” (Y/M) rebuttals. “She doesn’t partake in the activities and events other kids want to participate in. She doesn’t show interest in any clubs or sports. All she does is lock herself up in the room all day when she gets the chance! She doesn’t even want to eat dinner with us!”

“Yes because her mother is calling her dumb behind her back!”

You’ve never witnessed or heard your parents argue, even on that same night. You immediately shut the doors and climbed back underneath the covers when you were back in your bedroom, the pillows clogging your ears and silencing everything as you sobbed yourself to sleep. The next morning your dad was nowhere to be seen, having left for work early because he couldn’t stand to be in the same vicinity as his wife. 

(Y/M) felt worse as the day went by. Shiu always made sure that the weekends were reserved for family time and for him to willingly head to work, she knew she was in the wrong. Looking over at you, it didn’t make it any better. Especially when your fork clinked against the plate as you finished your food, carrying the empty dish to the sink as the silence of both you and your mother ate at you. “Where’s daddy?”

She took your plate, turning on the water to rinse it off. “At work.”

“He’s never at work on the weekends,” you note, stating the obvious. Your mother could only sighed, “There’s a first to everything, my dear.��

From that point forward, you always tried to put in a little more effort. You took up clubs and activities that you found interesting, committing to them for the entirety of your childhood all the way to graduating high school. Though, nothing really changed as you never found anything that sparked joy within you. 

You’ve found that out of your two parents, you found yourself a true daddy’s girl, enjoying his company the most. Even if the two of you would just watch crappy television shows in silence. It brought you comfort. So, when it was time for you to choose what you wanted to major in, you had finally decided on something— that you’d follow in your father’s footsteps. 

The topic of college became more frequent once you hit high school. (Y/M) and Shiu would always ask you what you wanted to do, or what you were thinking about doing, but you always shrugged and said that you were undecided. Your father always kept such a nonchalant gaze before looking back at his phone, but you’d always see that annoying glint in your mother’s eyes. (Un)fortunately for her, in junior year, you finally made a choice. 

“I think I’m interested in pursuing law.” You said it so nonchalantly that it caught both of your parents off guard, having them stop in their tracks. You— you want to pursue law?

When Shiu said he wanted a child to carry out his legacy, he didn’t specifically mean that they had to follow in his exact footsteps. He meant he wanted a legacy where those who descend after him all end up in a decent position. Frankly, he didn’t think you were cut out for law. You didn’t have the personality for it. You weren’t timid, but you were quiet and you never really raised your voice for anything. You had to be someone domineering in the courtroom and he didn’t see you as one. However, that didn’t mean it was too late for you. 

(Y/M) didn’t see your potential. She had made that very clear all those years ago, and people always feigned brightness when it came to you. However, if you were serious about this, he’d help you every step of the way and help you where you needed to go. (Y/M) wore an incredulous look all over her face, standing in disbelief as she choked on her words, wanting to talk you out of it. However, Shiu beat her to it.

“Okay,” he spoke, reciprocating the same nonchalance you sported. “Do you have any idea which university you want to attend?”

With your father’s eyes on you now, granting you the attention you never thought you’d get, you grow shy as you squirm in place. “I was thinking about Kyoto University.”

“Ah, you wanna follow in your old man’s footsteps, I see,” he winks at you, chuckling as he straightens his posture. “Well, you work on what you need to do to apply, I’ll sort out everything else.”

“Mhm,” you hum before trotting back up the stairs. When you’re finally gone, (Y/M) finally breaks the silence. 

“Shiu, you can’t be serious,” she chastises her husband for entertaining you. (Y/M) had come to accept who you are, that you’re just an average girl and that perhaps you didn’t need to make it as big as her husband is. However, for you to pursue law? It sounded ridiculous. There was no way you’d be able to survive such strenuous studies, especially in one of the top schools for law. They had a rigorous law program.

“Oh, I am,” Shiu sits up. “If she says she wants to pursue law, then let her.”

“Aren’t you afraid that she’ll crash and burn?” (Y/M) hates how he’s been so monotone about everything. How he doesn’t even seem to be concerned for your well being. How is he so willing for you to just make a decision that seems so abrupt? Just a couple of weeks ago, you were still indecisive and today you just got up and decided that you want to become a lawyer? (Y/M) shakes her head, dropping what she’s doing as she rests her elbows down on the kitchen counter, shutting her eyes. “I can’t believe you're entertaining this.”

“You can’t believe I’m entertaining what?” Shiu cocks up an eyebrow. “You can’t believe I’m supporting our child’s endeavors? Weren’t you the one worried for her future?”

“You’re not even listening to me!” (Y/M) groans. “I’m glad that she’s made up her mind, but law? Shiu, don’t be ridiculous, you know she wouldn’t last over a month in those classes.”

“I bet she’ll last the entire year,” Shiu challenges. “And even if she doesn’t, we’ll support whatever she does next.”

“Yeah, until your bank account is drained, then what will we do?” She mutters, scoffing.

Shiu’s fist bangs against the table, frightening (Y/M) and making her jump. He points at her, a harsh glare in his eyes as his dark pupils stare back at hers. “Y’know, I love you, (Y/M). I do, really and truly. But I don’t like the person you’ve become. Fix it before we’re no more.”

—

Shiu would go through the greatest depths of hell for you. He’s come to learn this the moment he finds himself on the phone, contacting the board of admissions in regards to you. And people would question his faith for you, ask him if he really thinks you wouldn't be able to get in on your own, but he only wants to secure a spot for you. You said you wanted to go to Kyoto University, so he’ll make sure you get into it. It’s not that hard when you're an alumni who still makes monetary contributions.

It takes nothing, but a few phone calls to have everything settled. Yet, you still work on your college essays, having your father read them over for you before getting the okay. Considering the growth you’ve had over the years, Shiu can’t say he’s too concerned about you. It’s not like you never tried, using the resources he’s given you each time you needed assistance with your work. Despite your aloof attitude, you have drive. And it makes him feel ashamed that your mother can’t see that within you. 

When you get the letter from Kyoto University, you’re running to your dad first. Meeting him at his law firm and asking him. Never have you voluntarily come to the firm, but when his secretary is telling him that his daughter is waiting for him outside of his office, there’s a spark of joy ignited in him. Within your eyes, there’s glee and excitement as you jump into his arms, telling him that you got accepted. His arms wrapped around you as you jumped into his arms, letting him spin you around in this moment of celebration. A genuine smile on your face as you come to terms with your decision, ready to put in the work in getting what you want. 

That summer when you graduate, you put away your plans of leisure to spend most of your days in the office. You had packed breakfast, lunch and dinner, your dad taking extraneous hours at work. You also have your laptop and a notebook with you, wanting to gather as much information from your father as well as having to complete summer assignments for your upcoming courses. He’s proud of you, seeing you go the extra mile and taking it seriously. 

Your mother’s also seeing how you’re taking this seriously, finally convinced of your choices. She starts waking up with the both of you, preparing your meals and sneaking in extra snacks inside your lunch. Your relationship with your mother has always been something rocky, where the two of you could never truly see each other eye-to-eye. You never felt like her daughter, only someone she scrutinized under a spectacle as she tried creating you in her own image. And you never made her feel like a mother, not accepting her affection and never seeking out her comfort. 

(Y/M) remembers how when you first started your period, you’d rather talk to your father about it. You cried in his lap about the boy who told everyone in the class that you were bleeding out of your vagina. Shiu tried pushing you to confide in your mother, but you refused and forced him to go shopping for menstrual products. (Y/M) had to write down a list of specific products for Shiu to pick up while going to the store with you. Your mother never had thought about the way she treated you until seeing you going to work with your father. She never truly considered how you felt, and though she felt like it was too late, she was trying to put in more effort in showing you that she truly did love you. 

When the summer was over and it was move-in day, (Y/M) and Shiu both took time off to send you off, helping you bring in your belongings and sort everything out just how you wanted. And when it came time for them to leave, Shiu held onto you, afraid to let go. You chuckled, trying to pry your father off of you. “You’re acting like you’ll never see me again.”

“We might not,” Shiu sniffled, hiding his face in your shirt in an attempt to wipe away his tears. You squirmed in his hold until he finally let go of you, seeing how red his eyes were. It wasn’t like you weren’t going to miss your parents, you would. However, it just hasn’t settled in yet.

(Y/M) stood behind you both awkwardly as your father gave you words of encouragement, having you promise him that if you needed any help, you’d contact him — even if it’s to get away with murder. She finally intervenes when she sees that her husband won’t pry away from you anytime soon. “(Y/N), can I talk to you for a second— privately?”

“Yeah, okay.” With a cock of your eyebrow, you nod hesitantly as you step away from your father and head out of the room. She’s fidgeting with her hands, eyes failing to meet yours. She takes a deep breath, sucking in her tears. 

“I want to—” Your mother chokes up, voice trailing off before she’s clearing her voice. “Y’know what, nevermind. Just know that I’m going to make it up to you. I love you, baby, and I’m very proud of you.”

You don’t know what she means with ‘I’m going to make it up to you,’ but you accept her hug. You accept the tight grip she wraps around your body, finally finding comfort in her touch. Even if it’s just for the moment.

College is freeing to a certain extent. No longer under the scrutiny and judgment of family and around strangers, you feel like you’re open to do whatever you want. Legally an adult, where you no longer need the consent of your parents to partake in things that they’d show their concerns over. You can make the wrong choices and come to regret it later without any berating, and you can make a schedule that best works for you. 

You made the right decision on selecting your classes early, having an ideal schedule— Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. With Mondays and Fridays off, it gave you time to study and catch up on things that you might’ve fallen behind on. Four classes within the semester, one of them being a fast-paced class that only lasted eight weeks. Two classes on Tuesday, one on Wednesday and Thursday. It seemed like something you’d be able to manage.

However, some people didn’t share your same ideologies, not planning ahead as you sit in front of those people right now— and it was more so a person. You were sitting with three other incoming freshmen, Itadori Yuuji, Kugisaki Nobara, and Fushiguro Megumi. Of the three, Nobara was the only one in the law program with you. Yuuji was undecided and Megumi was majoring in Biochemistry. The boy with the puppy dog eyes and salmon-toned hair seemed like an angel from the time you’ve spoken to them since they’ve decided to adopt you in their little crew, but not very wise when it came to decision making. Now, you’re watching him struggle to find good classes to take as all the professors left seem to have low ratings. Megumi has his face down in his phone, ignoring Nobara’s snickers at Yuuji’s stupidity, well accustomed to their banters. 

“We told you to sign up for classes early,” Nobara points out. “Hell, we even set up a date where we could do it together, so we’d have days that we can spend together.”

“Yeah, but you know I couldn’t make that day,” Yuuji pouts.

“But when we tried rescheduling, you were hellbent on us not waiting up for you.” Yuuji sighs, knowing that Nobara’s right. Groaning, he can only accept defeat as he scrolls and tries to make a schedule for himself that’s someone appeasing. “Just tell me what days you guys will be free.”

It gives you some solace that you won’t be completely alone, having Nobara in some of your classes providing you a sense of relief as you can both study alongside each other when the time comes. None of your high school friends had applied to Kyoto and some of the students from your old school who were attending weren’t people in your major or you weren’t too fond of. It makes that first day of classes more bearable the moment you step foot in it, finding a seat not too far from the front but not immediately in the back. You set your bag on the seat to the right of you, saving it for your newfound friend when she finally makes it in. 

Higuruma Hiromi— you vaguely remember the name as you could swear that he was a colleague of your father. When you had chosen him as a professor, the thought never crossed your mind until now that you’re sitting inside the lecture room and waiting for his arrival. You’re amongst five other students who’ve arrived early as they’re putting out their laptops, textbooks and a manila folder. What’s the manila folder for— Shit! You immediately slump back in your chair, eyes shutting as you hold your breath. You had completely forgotten to print out the summer assignment as it was instructed for you to do. You had it saved on a USB drive, but you don’t know if this one little slip up will be easily dismissed. So much for starting off your classes strong.

Just in that moment does Nobara walk in, spotting you in a flash and climbing up the steps to greet you. You lift up your bag, not before dropping it in front of you and wailing at your stupid mistake. Taking a seat as she unpacks her stuff, Nobara knits her eyebrows together, something evidently wrong with you. “What’s wrong?”

“I forgot to print out the summer assignment,” you groan, simultaneously as you hear a bunch of keys jingling and a set of heavy shoes clunking on the marble tiles. Lifting your head up, you can vividly remember him now. Short and dark brown hair that always looks stringy. He always looked tired or bored whenever you saw him in your youth, his small brown pupils that never gave you a look of emotion whenever you were around. He’d always give you a weak ‘hello’ out of politeness before his attention was fixated back on your father, talking about God knows what. 

Now you’re taking closer notice of him. Average height and a slender build as he walks towards his desk, letting out a heavy sigh that has all the students silent. It’s still not time for classes to start, plenty of students starting to trickle in from behind. You always thought he was paler, but there’s a tint in his skin. He dresses professionally, wearing a typical black suit and tie with a sunflower pin on his left shoulder to signify his previous status as an attorney. 

From what you can remember about Higuruma, he was a fierce attorney just like your father and he only fought for those who were wrongfully accused. Him and your father sat along the same boat of men that were greatly admired in the courtroom. You don’t remember hearing that he retired from being a lawyer and your father never mentioned him working here. You wondered if the two had some sort of falling out. You thought the two were close friends. 

“Don’t worry,” Nobara tries assuring you. “I’m pretty sure he’ll understand. You did do it.”

When class is ready to start, the room is packed with over one hundred students. People are still shuffling to take their belongings out of their bags as Higuruma is getting the projector up and running, giving the students just a little bit more time before lecture begins. You have your laptop open with your textbook set to the side as well as a spiral notebook and a pencil pouch. While Nobara’s words had given you some sort of comfort, sure that he would be understanding, it still didn’t take away that nagging sensation in your chest.

He cleared his throat, finally taking a stand and adjusting his suit jacket. His voice remained calm, yet it boomed and called the attention of everyone from the mic pinned to the jacket. “Good morning, everyone! And welcome to JGVT1101, the History of the Japanese Government.

“My name is Professor Higuruma and please address me as such,” he continues. “This will be one of your first classes with me, but surely not your last as you will be stuck with me throughout your years enrolled within the law program. I will not dive deep about my personal life, just know that I used to be a lawyer and attended this very same university when I was around your age. 

“I will not lie to you and say that each and every one of you will make it to be a lawyer, but I will say that in order to pass my class it is vital that you do everything I say and complete assignments how I expect them to. Starting with the summer assignment, everyone passes them up.”

You feel uneasy as everyone else seems to have their assignments printed out, even Nobara as she hands it to the person on her left as they all pile up into one stack at the front. You’re fidgeting with the bracelets on your hand, pulling at the elastic as you try to bring yourself to focus on anything else but it. 

“I will have the class syllabus going around,” he further announced. “Please make sure to take one and keep it somewhere safe. It has all the assignments listed down and when they’re expected to be turned in.”

The class goes by smoothly until it’s close to the end, where Higuruma sets you guys up with a partner and assigns you to discuss one of the questions viewed on the screen. Perched at his desk, he’s checking off those who have turned in their assignment, seeing that only a few students haven’t had their names marked off. He looks through the list, noticing your name— your last name specifically. Kong. He hasn’t seen that name in a while.

“Kong (Y/N),” he calls your name, pulling the mic hooked to his jacket closer. It makes your head pop in his direction, looking him clearly in his eyes. You’ve grown a lot since the last time he’s seen you. When was that? When you were a little over twelve? He can’t quite remember, but you’ve surely grown. Features more womanly and grown in. At one point you favored your mother, then Shiu the next. Now, you’re a fine mixture of the two— though whenever he did look at you, your eyes vividly came from your father. “Can you explain to me why your paper hasn’t been submitted?”

“Oh, um…” You can feel your heart stuck inside your throat, eyes deviating away from his as you're not sure what to say. You know what to say, but did he really have to call you out in front of the entire class? “I forgot to print it out, but—”

He comes to stand, the swivel chair sliding backwards as he does, cutting your excuse short. “And this class is an example of what I don’t want. How can you expect to get anywhere in life if you show up the first day unprepared?”

“Is that really necessary?” Nobara leans into you with the scrunch of her eyebrows. “He didn’t have to call you out in front of the classroom. I’m pretty sure there’s at least one student who didn’t even complete it at all.”

“Miss Kong, if this is going to be typical behavior from you, I suggest you drop out of my class immediately.”

People around you start to chatter, some siding with the professor and some ridiculing him for calling you out like that. Nonetheless, you grow flustered as you feel all eyes on you. He’s right. If you had just remembered to print out the assignment beforehand, you wouldn’t be in this damn predicament, getting condemned before everyone. You’re only grateful that he doesn’t call your name out for the rest of the class. Only until he’s finally dismissing you all, the name he’s already set for you ringing through the air once more. “Miss Kong, please stay behind. I’d like to have a word with you.”

You can only respond with a meek ‘okay’ as everyone’s trailing outside the door. Nobara hesitates to leave you alone, but you dismiss her and assure her that you’ll be fine. You don’t know what he could possibly want from you. He’s already said what he needed during class. However, you’ll take this opportunity in hopes to plead a little bit of extra time. You just needed to print it out.

Everyone trickles out quickly, leaving the enormous room just for the two of you as you shuffle in his direction, stopping not too short of his desk. He doesn’t say anything for a second, stacking the manila folders into a neat pile and setting them inside of a cart. He clears his throat, eyes flickering to yours before they go back on the task at hand. “Do you think that a judge would accept an unprepared lawyer?”

“No,” you immediately answer, your voice low and dry. 

“Then why do you think that I should accept your late paper, hm?” He pauses, expecting a response.

“Um…”

“A lawyer must always be prepared with a rebuttal,” Higuruma holds his head high. “No stuttering, um’s and uh’s in the courtroom. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Hig— Yes, Professor.”

At your slip up, Higuruma pauses. Glancing up at you with a raised eyebrow as he lets out an exasperated sigh. “How’s your father been? It’s been a while since I’ve last spoken to him.”

“He’s fine,” you shrug. “For the most part. He’s—”

“He won’t be fine if his daughter ends up a failure,” he remarks, setting the last of his stuff inside the cart, pulling up the handle as he throws you a stern look. His eyes squinting low as if daring you to challenge him. However, your mouth’s gone dry as you’re speechless. 

“I— I can have it for you in the next hour.”

“Try thirty minutes,” he rebuttals. “Anything later won’t be accepted. You’re dismissed.”

You don’t hesitate to spin on your heel, hurrying out of the class. You’re practically running out, throwing the door and letting it slam shut on the way out. Higuruma chuckles, watching you rush out of the lecture hall as he finally pulls out the cart along with him. He’ll give you the courtesy of adding ten extra minutes, but seeing the determination written all over your face the moment he gave you extra time, he’s ready to bed that the thirty will be enough. 

Unlike you, Higuruma remembered you clearly as the day when he saw your name on his roster. He didn’t believe it at first, wondering if your name was a common one. Surely, Shiu would’ve called him and informed him that his daughter had decided to pursue law at the same college both of them attended in their younger years. However, since Higuruma had called it quits, he hadn’t heard from Shiu since. 

He never planned on retiring from being a lawyer so soon. No, there was still so much fire in him that yearned to be back on the playing field, but after his last case. He thought it was best to call it quits, the scar residing on his chest being enough motivation to do so. Days that he spent in the hospital recovering as his mother cried over his wounded body. She had warned him about his strong pursuit for justice, to be careful of what he was doing or he’d anger the wrong set of people. He knew that was the case, that being a lawyer wasn’t always the safest career. However, he was passionate about it and couldn’t let it up because the unjust wanted to live freely. Shiu could let them run around freely, but not him. 

Maybe that’s why he hasn’t contacted him after all these years. Maybe there’s guilt residing on his chest after all this time. Higuruma always suspected Shiu’s involvement in his accident, but he could never find enough evidence for it. It led to Higuruma giving up his one man search forcing himself to forgive the man. He couldn’t bear the stress of being angry and having a vengeful spirit. However, seeing you really provoked that anger that he thought was long gone. 

Were you to end up like your father? Higuruma highly doubted it. You were a frail little thing, and he won’t apologize when he says he agreed with your mom. Shiu had called him up one night when they were still friends, confided in him and told him that his wife didn’t believe in you. Didn’t believe that you’d make it far in life.

He’s met you and had a few conversations with you. You were only a child, yes, but the typical child would have an answer on standby when asked what they wanted to be when they grow up. You? You only shrugged your shoulders and didn’t say anything more. He was sure that you’d find a place where you’re wanted— needed— but in law?

Higuruma scoffed to himself. Law did not need another Kong. 

—

“How dare he?” Nobara stabbed at her lunch in anger, the chopsticks ferociously dividing the apple into two pieces in one go. She seemed to be angrier than you about the entire ordeal despite the fact that you told her he had given you a second chance and you managed not to mess it up this time. “I had talked to a few other students and they had said they didn’t submit it, so why did he come after you? I hate a hardass that’s so unfair. How did he even call himself a lawyer?”

You didn’t want to voice your speculations. And you didn’t want to voice that you knew him outside of your classes. You didn’t want her perspective on you to shift, liking how the girl was ready to take up for you. Her bottom lip jutted out in anger, an adorable pout settling on her features as she shoved the piece of fruit in her mouth. 

Megumi sat beside Nobara, for once, interested in the conversation. “I don’t know, that’s weird. I would report him to the Dean.”

You scrunch your eyebrows in between your lunch, still chewing your food. “It was just the first day of classes,” you fan off the situation. “Maybe my name was the first option and he just wanted to make an example to set the tone for the rest of the semester.”

You hadn’t told them every aspect of what happened when he had called you to stay behind. That would reveal too much and surely set Nobara off in flames, seeing how red her face is with anger right now. You were really hoping that this would be a one time occurrence as you didn’t want to have a professor with whatever personal vendetta they had against you. Higuruma was vile and cruel with his words, where they felt completely unnecessary and targeted. However, you pushed your intuition back, not wanting to start the very first year of college off on a bad note. 

“Maybe,” Megumi shrugs. “But you don’t want it to turn into some big thing. Just be careful, okay?”

Later that night, your mom calls you. Picking up the phone, you hold it to your ears as your voice is low. Your roommate had already fallen asleep while you were up, starting ahead on your class readings. “Hey, mom. It’s late, why’re you still up?”

“I should ask you the same,” your mom’s voice sounds. “Don’t tell me you’ve already started studying? Have the professors already started teaching?”

“Yeah, they have,” you chuckled. “Plus, I want to stay on top of things.”

“I just wanted to call in and check on you!” She sounds happy on the other line, and you can’t help but notice the silence in the background. From the moment you got here and they had to leave, whenever your mom initiated a phone call, your dad was always next to her. “Hope you’re settling in well.”

“I am,” you sigh. “Is dad not with you right now?”

“No,” your mom yawns. You can hear the ruffling of the bed sheets move as she’s climbing into bed. “He’s working late tonight.”

“Oh, well,” you start, Higuruma coming to mind. “Mom, do you remember Higuruma?”

There’s a long pause on the other line. Your mom’s heart rating picking up a beat as she hadn’t heard that name in a long while. You have to call out her name again to snap her outside of whatever trance that she was under. “Oh, sorry, dear. Yeah, I remember him. He used to be one of your dad’s closest colleagues. Why?”

“He’s a professor at Kyoto University,” you inform her. “I actually have him for one of my classes.”

“He is?” Your mom’s attention has been called, sitting up in the bed as she’s wide awake. “He hasn’t bothered you by any chance, has he?”

Her question catches you off guard, making you wonder if your mother or your dad have set people to watch over you on campus. More so, your father. How could you possibly know if Higuruma was bothering you within less than twenty four hours? However, you try to play it cool, ready to deny her concerns. “No, I was just wondering… We haven’t seen him in a while and I wanted to know why he never visited anymore?”

Your mother loses her guard for a moment, becoming candid with you— er, giving you half the truth. “Oh, well, after his accident, Higuruma decided to quit law. And we tried reaching out, but we never heard from him again.” 

“Accident?”

“Yeah,” your mom hums. “Some guys didn’t like their sentence and once they were let out, they came after him. Scared Higuruma shirtless, I guess, so he decided to switch career paths.”

“Oh,” you gasped. “I never knew that.”

“You were really young at the time,” Mom says. “We didn’t want you to burden you with something like that.”

Shortly after, you and your mom are bidding each other good night before hanging up the phone. You’re left speechless at the newfound information that it leaves you unfocused. Shutting off your laptop and closing your textbook, you set it aside and crawl underneath the covers. Your mom, on the other hand, still sits up in the king-sized bed, pondering on what she should do next. Never did she think that Shiu’s past would come back to haunt them. 

They made sure to cut all ties with the man, their plan working as the man resigned from his position as an attorney and they never heard from him again. It was planned so meticulously that to this day, Shiu and her aren’t sure whether or not Higuruma had detected it was them. Maybe he had an inkling, but if the man really wanted to go with his gut, they’d soon end up on the floor. 

She didn’t want to burden her husband with the past, but was it really safe that their daughter’s in the hands of a man that they had bad blood with? Scrolling through her contacts before Shiu’s name popped up, her thumb hovered over the call button ready to click it. You said you were fine though, that he hadn’t done anything to bother you in any type of way. So, maybe she should trust your word. Shutting her eyes, (Y/M) throws the phone down on the bed, her face in her hands as she lets out a huff. “Fuck me.”

However, sleep riddles her mind before she can truly think about it. Forgetting her phone, she reaches for the night lamp, pulling at the metal string until she hears that click and the light goes off. When her head hits the pillow, she’s out like a light and the next day. She forgets all about her conversation with you. 

—

You thought it would end there, but Higuruma found pleasure in your torment. Where he’s no longer calling you out in front of one hundred students, but writing snide notes in your assignments, overanalyzing everything that you do down to your vocabulary and grammar. When he asks you to stay back behind class, it’s to further chastise and criticize you for every tiny mistake that you make. 

It makes you lose sleep as you’ve hours past midnight studying, the small lamp over-shining your textbooks as your upperclassman roommate, Maki Zenin, watches you with concern. Oftentimes, she’s warning you, telling you to get rest and buying you little treats to get through the day because she knows you haven’t slept. It’s become such a concern that when Nobara stops by, she tells her what’s been going on. 

It’s the middle of first semester and you’re trying to complete work that’s due towards the end, trying to stay on top of all of your classes, but especially his. Maki couldn’t take it anymore, letting in the younger girl the moment she heard her knock and letting her crash through the dorm room. You don’t even notice as you’re nose deep into your assignments, an impending migraine resting on your head. Nobara snatches the textbook, throwing it to Maki’s side of the room in a rush. 

“Hey! I need that!” 

“No, you don’t!” Nobara immediately barks back. “(Y/N), have you ever eaten anything?”

You hesitate to answer, so you decide not to at all. Since she took your textbook, you reach for your laptop, but she proves to be even faster. Handling it gently, she shuts the screen and clutches it to her chest as her shoulders drop and tilts her head to the side. “You need to quit it, (Y/N). Not eating properly, no sleep? What’s this all about because you and I share the majority of our classes together and the work isn’t as strenuous as you’re making it seem?”

You wouldn’t cave in and confide in Nobara about your worries, failing to meet her eyes. However, she had an inkling that she knew what— or whom— had provoked you to this point. “Is it Professor Higuruma?”

You had never been a good liar apparently, always getting caught in them when you were younger, but you muster up a roll in your eyes as you scoff. “No,” it sounded so convincing that it killed the girl’s suspicion. “I just wanted to get ahead of my work and make sure I’m understanding the material.”

“Well, understanding the material won’t do you any good if you drop dead from exhaustion.” Nobara sets the laptop down on your nightstand, picking up your spiral notebooks and setting them on top of it as she scoots herself on the bed, kicking off her shoes. “We’re going to sleep.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you watch as she pulls your folded blanket from the corner of your bed and unravels it. When she tells you to move over, you do so unconsciously making space for her. “We?”

“Yes, we,” Nobara confirms. “Since you won’t listen to Maki to the point she had to stop me on the way to classes to have a mini-intervention with you, I’m going to make sure that you actually fall asleep. Now, come snuggle up. I heard cuddling helps.”

It does. You and Nobara fall asleep in each other’s hold. It was so cute to witness that Maki had taken a few pictures herself, making sure to send them to you when you wake up. Luckily for you, the next day was Friday, so you didn’t have any classes. You managed to sleep in just fine, but Nobara on the other hand? She forgot that she had a ten a.m. class and was nearly late. She had to run there in her clothes from before and the purse she had brought with her. You felt guilty for making her late, keeping her there for so long because of the mess you put on yourself. You didn’t need to put in this extra work to prove yourself. You were doing just fine in all of your classes, including Higuruma’s. So why were you doing all of this?

You tried to take the day off, to rest and rejuvenate your mind, body and soul. However, you felt an itch inside of you. An itch that berated you for the studying you’ve missed for being so lackadaisical— that time you had allotted for it now down the drain. You reached for your textbook again and opened back your laptop, ignoring the sting in your eyes as you grabbed your notebook and pen. Right back in that loop you’ve put yourself in.

(Y/N), 

Please meet me in my office on Sunday, October 13, 2024. Two p.m. sharp.

Professor Higuruma

Higuruma always prided himself in being a just man, but he knew what he was doing to you wasn’t fair. You had potential in you after all, it seemed. You turned in decent work that didn’t make him want to gag, where it was better than a quarter than the other kids. You were putting in the work surely, always trying to correct the mistakes and errors he had highlighted in red. It seemed like you were seeking his validation through the desperation and lengths you were willing to take. He didn’t need to see it and you didn’t need to say a word, it’s in all of your work. And he can’t help, but boast to himself that he’s managed to tear you down with just using a sentence or two within his “constructive” criticism. He sends the email without a second thought, the corner of his lip twitching upwards in doing so. 

You see the notification on your smart watch, an email from Professor Higuruma. You reach for your phone, swiping at the notification to open and unlocking your phone. Reading anything from him brings a spike of anxiety running down your spine, especially given the fact he wants to see outside of school hours. You don’t think about it too deeply to notice its suspicion in his request, simply replying to confirm that you will be there and playing right into the devil’s hand. 

When you meet with Higuruma, his door is open. Sitting in his seat, he doesn’t look up from his work. He’s slouched forward, small brown pupils that always look exhausted as they flicker to you finally. He fixes his posture, straightening the white buttoned down shirt he’s wearing as he motions you to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. 

From there, he takes you in. You’re not wearing anything fancy, a t-shirt and jeans shorts that he’d deem too short. When you sit, the fat of your thighs join together and make Higuruma come to terms with just how much you’ve blossomed into a beautiful young woman in his absence. He should be disgusted by how it makes him feel, rumbling something deep inside him. He wants you to feel bad for it.

“I see you couldn’t even be bothered to put on something decent,” he comments, clicking out of a tab to lean in the swivel chair. He folds his hands together, clicking his tongue on the brim of his mouth and giving you another once over. “Who’s going to take you seriously if you can’t even come to a meeting with your professor in appropriate attire?”

This guise of preparing you for the real world, for becoming a lawyer— it’s all too easy and you’re all too gullible. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that this was something really important or not—”

“It’s not,” he retorts, getting up from his seat, he brings himself in front of you, towering over you in a show of dominance. His hands stuffed inside the pockets of his dress pants as he leans against the edge of his desk, putting one leg over his knee. “But, you expect anyone to take you seriously dressed the way you are? Stand up.”

You don’t hesitate, standing up quickly and meeting Higuruma at eye level. He stands tall, a few inches taller than you. He’s taking a risk putting his hand on you, but considering that you’ve let him speak to you like this, he’s willing to test the waters and see. Gentle fingers that take your chin in his hand, forcing you to look directly into his eyes. He can see every flaw within you, every mark and blemish on your skin. Yet, it doesn’t deter the way his cock stirs inside his pants.

“Your father was a good lawyer— still is one— but you…” He tsks, voice getting raspy and deeper as his fingers trail down your neck to your clavicle. Pretty smooth skin is all he feels until he’s down to the hem of your shirt. He stops, trying to make his mind up. However, he’s feeling daring today. “I don’t know if you’ll even make it through the rest of your undergrad years. The work you’ve been handing in— mediocre, at best.”

He’s done more than invade your personal space, invading boundaries and crossing lines that should never be crossed as a professor and you as his student. You should tell him to stop, but the shiver down your spine does the opposite of what you want, making you inch closer to him as your breath hitches. You can feel him— his chest pressing against your chest and something pressing against your stomach. You’re praying that it’s his belt buckle, but you feel a faint stir letting you know it’s something else. His hands travel your body, stopping to graze and draw the shape of your breast. 

“But— But you’ve been giving me good grades.” You knit your eyebrows together in confusion, your grades reflecting one thing but his words another. 

“Yes,” he agrees before his rebuttal. “But good grades won't make you far as a lawyer. Don’t you want to be just like your daddy? Taking charge of whatever case you’re assigned that no one dares question you?”

His question makes sense, making you think about it. You want to make your father proud, and Higuruma was a man that used to stand right on your father’s level. If anyone could show you the ropes and help you other than your father, it would be him. You nod, “yes.”

“Then, you have to do everything I say,” Higuruma says. “Would you do anything I told you to?”

You take a minute to process, daring to look away before his hands are back on your face, harshly cupping your jaw and forcing you to keep eye contact before he’s repeating his question. “Would you do anything I told you to?”

“Yes,” you finally respond. After all, you’ve been doing it so willingly before. Higuruma grins, appeased with your response as he slowly nods. His grip on you loosening before finally letting go. 

“Good,” he hums. “You’re to meet with me every Saturday at two p.m. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you say just above a whisper. His back is to you as he’s gathering all of his stuff. You spend a moment right there, unsure of what you should do next until he’s glancing behind him. He chuckles to himself inwardly. You’re so easy. Were you always this compliant with your parents? “You’re dismissed.”

The next time you speak with your parents, it’s in person. You’ve been listening to Nobara a bit more, taking breaks when needed. Though, Higuruma always stood in the back of your mind berating you. Somehow, he’s gotten ahold of your personal number, sending you messages and reminders that you must be studying and always aiming high if you want to be one of the best lawyers in Japan. His voice, it’s always lingering and berating you for moments of leisure like this. However, your mom and dad had been badgering you to come home and visit them as you’ve been slowly losing contact with them because of your extraneous schedule. 

At the front door, you punch in the code before you hear the click of it opening. When it swings open, you’re immediately comforted by your mom’s cooking. The mouth watering aroma of a home cooked meal puts you in a trance as your feet make a bee line straight for the kitchen. Your mom’s standing behind the stove with her back to you as she hasn’t detected your arrival. In the pot is a meal that reminds her of home, something she made for you often as a child and still to this day. 

A simple graze of her shoulder is enough to make her jump, a high-pitched scream coming from her lips before she’s spinning around and making the hot oil splatter against you and causing the both of you to scream. She slaps your shoulder when she finally calms down, grunting in annoyance. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“I didn’t mean to,” you can only retort, grabbing the kitchen towel to wipe off the cooling oil as your nerves settle down. When the both of you are in a calmer state, your mom pulls you into a hug. 

“Oh, how I’ve missed you!” she coos, pulling away to take you in. “I didn’t expect you to come in until a bit later— are those eye bags? Have you not been sleeping properly?”

You fan away her hands that try to reach out and touch them. You groan, not feeling like talking about the subject matter. “Don’t worry about it. Where’s dad?”

The devil himself responds with, “he’s right here.” You can hear the rough shuffle of his feet pattering down the steps. “What was going on earlier? I heard screaming.”

From the small towel over his head and the wet t-shirt, it’s evident that he just came out of the shower. Your mom props a hand on her hip, side-eying you. “Oh, nothing. Just your daughter scaring her dear old mother to death.”

“It was an accident,” you roll your eyes. “I just touched her shoulder and she jumped.”

Shiu chuckles, making it to the kitchen and pulling you in for a hug. “(Y/N), you have to be careful. You know how jumpy your mother can get.”

The rest of the evening goes on smoothly as your mother finally calls you and your father over for dinner. Three plates prepared, your mother sets them down on the table as you’ve had the silverware and glasses set from before. You lean to give your mother a kiss on the cheek before sliding in your seat. “Thank you, mom.”

“Yes,” Shiu agrees. “Thank you, dear.”

“Mhm,” she chirps, finally setting down her own plate and sitting around the table next to your father. Her eyes are vibrant as she scans the area, happy to have her two prized-possessions with her in the same room again. “Shiu, can you start with the prayer?”

Halfway through your plate, your father looks over at you curiously. The bags underneath your eyes and your occasional yawns— it reminds him of his years in college. But, you’ve barely called and reached out to him as he was hoping. It made him concerned. Were you too scared to ask him for help even though he had blatantly told you he’d help you in any way, shape or form? “How have your classes been? Surely, they’re not stressing you out as much yet.”

“Oh, they’re stressing me out,” you snort. “But… nothing I can’t manage.”

“You’re not struggling with any of them, are you?” Shiu asks. “You haven’t reached out to me at all. Are you sure everything’s fine?”

“Yeah,” you reassure your father with a nod. “I’m passing all of my classes currently. And I have one of my professors offering me help outside of class hours to help me out.”

“Oh, really?” Shiu raises his eyebrows, leaning back in his chair. “Which one? I might know them.”

“You do,” you confirm. “You remember Higuruma, right? He’s a professor now, but I’m sure mom already told you about it. He’s offered to help me out with studying.”

Shiu stops eating, resting his fork gently against the plate as he knits his eyebrows together and looks at you, intaking this vital piece of information. He then glances at his wife, wondering how she could’ve forgotten to inform him of it. His wife fails to meet his eyes, forcing him to look back at you. He can’t help but repeat himself, “Oh, really?”

You nod, not noticing the scrunch of your father’s eyebrows and how heavy the atmosphere has turned. He tilts his head in curiosity, wondering the safety of his child within his old friend’s hands. “And you say he’s offered to tutor you?”

You hum in confirmation. “Yeah—”

“Honey,” Shiu stops himself, thinking about what he’s to say next. He doesn’t want to alarm you about the matter, and he’s not too sure himself if Higuruma will be a liability. The way you say it with confidence, not an ounce of fear in your mind. Is his old friend truly looking out for you for the greater good? Does he want to take this chance? “I’m not too sure about that.”

“Shiu,” your mom reaches for her husband’s hand, dissuading him from saying anything more. At the way your parents look at each other, it calls for your attention, finally aware of the suffocating tension lingering in the air. 

“Why? Is something the matter?” you ask. “Mom told me about what happened to him, and he seems fine now—”

Shiu shoots his wife a glare, a simple action that speaks so many words. “Don’t worry about it, honey. It’s nothing you need to fret about.”

Your father stands up, his plate unfinished, but he’s decided that he’s had enough. “I’ll do the dishes, baby.” 

He bends down to his wife's ear, planting a kiss against her temple before whispering, “we’ll talk about this later.”

—

Higuruma can prove himself to be a gentleman with you, in instances such as now where he has you on your knees, standing right in front of you with the door to his office locked. He’s got himself pressed up against you, his erection touching your face and forcing you to feel him. You decided to listen to him, wearing something more business casual in a button-up blouse and pencil skirt that had Maki questioning your whereabouts. You never did end up telling her just where you were going, heading straight through the door. 

He’s caressing your face, pushing away at your braids. He had undone your ponytail, pulling the clip away to see how it fell past your shoulders. You’re a pretty sight to see like this, so obedient and following every word he says. The lights in his office are dim, but they illuminate against you. It’s as though your skin is glowing, dazzling beautifully as he’s got your cheek pressed against his erection and rubbing himself against you. 

Even in proper attire, you manage to make it so sexually appealing. His eyes squinting down in disdain as he tuts out a sigh. “You just can’t seem to do anything right. I guess you’ll be one of those lawyers that sleep their way around to get what they want, huh?”

You shake your head in disagreement, making Higuruma laugh. “Oh, but yes. I’ve got you on your knees right now, looking like whore, so I believe it’s safe to assume what you’re destined for— C’mon and undo my pants for me.”

You should’ve expected it the first time you had come in for your study session, that first Saturday, he did nothing but graze his hands all over your body as he tested you on the material. Who were the most important people in the Japanese dynasty during the Heian era? When did it come to fall? He would ask you all while his hand was on your thigh, inching up and between your legs to cup your heat. You would falter and stammer on your words, feeling his hot touch embedding itself into your skin. Whenever you came close to saying a word, he’d apply pressure and glide his finger down your covered heat. 

You were ashamed of yourself. Of wanting this, not telling your parents the full truth, not telling your friends either. Nobara was no longer suspicious, though Higuruma was nowhere near being one of her favorite professors, but she backed off and was no longer checking up on you as she frequently did at one point. But maybe she got tired of your lies and no one longer deemed it her concern. 

However, the lust discarded all of that said shame, enjoying the way this older man makes you feel at the swipe of a finger and how his degrading words have created you into someone you could no longer recognize. You could only guess that you weren’t moving fast enough for his liking, feeling his hand come up to grip your jaw roughly and pulling you closer to him. “Aren’t you listening? Take off my pants and suck my cock like the filthy slut you are.”

Your hands tremble as the reach for the zipper of his dress pants, fingertips ghosting against his hard length. Your eyes move to flicker from him down to it, where you can feel that familiar feeling grow inside of you. That flutter deep inside your stomach as arousal pooled onto the center of your panties. You failed to wear a pair of protective shorts underneath, your legs squeezed tightly together as your juices seep through and stick to your inner thighs. Feeling that metal tab, pulling it down. You grow more daring by the second, hands moving to cup his length through the undergarment and fondle it. 

You can see how his chest constricts, stopping his breath as he loses himself for a moment. But only for a moment does he shut his eyes, feeling the way your hand is gentle and causing more precum to leak from his tip, before he’s bunched up your hair together and forces you away. You try to contact the high-pitched screech that leaves from your lips. “Do you think you’re the one in charge?”

Tears prickle out from the corner of your eyes as you shake your head, your voice squeaking when you utter out, “no.”

“Then, what’d I tell you to do?” He asks.

“You told me to undo your pants.” Your heart’s beating fast, squinting your eyes as you feel the tears fall before they flutter back open to stare into Higuruma’s. For the first time, he looks so alive, and you take pride to know it’s because of you.

“Did I ask for anything more?”

“No,” you sob.

“Do I have to punish you?” Higuruma hums. “Give you a good spanking and leave that good pussy soaked?”

“No,” you croak. “Please, no.”

Gosh, he can’t help but revel in this. He has you begging. He hums some more, pondering over just what to do with you. “Maybe I will leave you all high and dry, but not before I get what I want. Since, you’re so incompetent and I have to do everything myself—” He tugs down his pants just far enough where it’s right above his knees and brings his underwear down along with it, his cock slapping against his abdomen. “—Hm, suck. Don’t use your hands. Keep them where they’re at.” 

His shirt’s still on and hanging down loosely. He grips himself at the base, where it gives you a better peek up his shirt, where you can see the dark hairs of his happy trail travel to his cock. You see how’s sort of let go of himself, his pubic hair untamed. His grip on your hair is still strong, forcing your lips to touch the tip of his cock where pre stil leaks from him. The sticky translucent substance paints your lips with it. Slowly, your mouth opens and he takes the opportunity to make it wider, shoving his cock deep inside your mouth until you’re full of him. 

He’s got a set of girth to him, making your mouth stretch open widely as his tip kisses the back of your throat. The mushroom-shaped head of him basking in the feeling of your mouth wrapped around him. Your mouth hollows around his length, trying to accustom yourself to the ache that’s already beginning to settle in. With one hand on your shoulder, Higuruma pushes you further down on your knees as he presses himself into your warmth. How your eyes water so beautifully as another set of tears become to showcase themselves. It causes him to groan, having a young thing like yourself in his grasp, all for him to use and take advantage of. 

“The only thing you’re good for is to cry while you take cock,” Higuruma groans as he forces you off his length, watching you inhale deeply. He’s being kind by giving you this rest period, taking a moment to get your features like this memorized. How you already look a mess. “I can see it. You sprawled out on a judge’s desk, pleading with them to make you win. Legs wide open and your pussy begging to be fucked. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Bet you’re fucking soaked.”

Sheathing himself back inside of you, Higuruma groans. “‘M gonna fucking love this. Getting to use you just how I want and cum in that pretty mouth of yours.”

You can barely breathe through your nose with the force he’s using on you, pushing your head down so deep within him that what you can intake is his smell. His earthy cologne still lingering on him as well as his natural musk. Again, you should feel ashamed. You should feel ashamed for how your pussy trembles, your juices soaked to no salvation. You’re careful to go slowly, your hands going unnoticed when they travel in between your legs to cup yourself. You’ve imagined this plenty of times before from the moment you started these one-on-one tutoring sessions with him. You wondered what it would like to feel him, what his cock felt like inside of you— whether it was in your mouth or your pussy. 

You wanted to know how it would feel stretching you out and how good he’d fuck you. Nights where you’d play with your pussy, hoping that Maki was fast asleep and didn’t hear the toy that was trapped in between your legs. You’d conceal your moans that dared to slip out, hips bucking as you were close. You’d picture it was Higuruma— your father’s old friend and now professor— making you feel this good. And when you came, you were too scared to make a move, falling asleep in your own mess and hoping that by the next morning, the stench of your release wasn’t as potent as it was in the moment. 

Now that you’re below him and getting mouth-fucked by him, it makes you moan out as you stick your hand underneath your skirt, the fabric riding up and barely covering your ass. Fortunately for the both of you, the door is locked. However, if anyone were to come in right now, they’d see your ass on display with your hands right in between your legs and happily sucking off your professor, a man more than twice your age. It would be a pretty sight to behold, watching your pussy drool so selfishly as you play with your clit as Higuruma face fucks you.

His hand in your hair, a slight pain throbbing in the back of your head as he controls your movements altogether. Your head bobs up and down as you moan like a whore under him. He has to lean against the table every so often to get a hold of himself, seeing you like this makes him feel like he’s young again and can’t withhold himself. He pants and grunts, his chest rising and falling as his eyelids grow heavy. He sees the roll of your hips, finding that your hands have snaked in between to touch your pussy. He won’t stop you. No, instead, he chuckles as he rolls his hips into your mouth. “Fuck, you’re such a dirty little whore. Who am I kidding? You’ll amount to nothing the second I’m done with you. Look at you, touching yourself.”

He says it like it’s a sin, spitting it out with so much venom but inside you, his cock twitches. Resting his weight against the desk, he drags you along with him, making sure you never leave his length. He ignores the way you gag around his length, sputtering out in pain as you whine and mewl before his hips move faster. You have to catch air as quickly as possible with the amount of force he uses. 

The sounds of blubbering and wet skin sounding from the two of you echoes inside the office. Your pussy clenches as you grind down into your hand, a finger snaking between your walls as you can slightly bounce against it and wishing that it was Higuruma’s cock instead. Your eyes shut tight as you let the tears seep down and dry onto your skin. Your high-pitched moans reverberating against your chest and to him, his arousal pooling into the back of your throat as he hits at your uvula repetitively. All throughout, your desperation to make it through the years pours out of you, greedily taking what Higuruma gives.

It feels like he’s the only person who’s told you the truth to your face. You’re not smart enough; you have no ambition; you’ll amount to nothing. It all pours into your head, your mother’s words, the feigned feelings from family and family friends as they ultimately agree with her. Someone’s finally said it to your face, and you’re coming to accept it. And through your desperation to prove them wrong, but never Higuruma, you’ll do whatever it takes to have them biting at their own words. 

Spit pools from the corner of your lips, trickling down your chin as your head looks up at him with a look of determination set in your eyes. It piques his interest what’s made you snap, but doesn’t question it when he feels your tongue grazing the shaft as you finally put in some more effort. Your tongue tasting that vein than ran down underneath, making Higuruma take in a deep inhale. No longer does he have to force you down his length as you meet his thrusts with eagerness and his grip loosens. 

“That’s right,” he breathes. “Fuck, be a proud whore and get me off.”

You feel like, after one hit, you’ve become addicted. Fingers stuffed inside your pussy as you multitask with getting him off as well as yourself. Your chest rises and falls and you can feel yourself so close, getting so close to hitting that brink. However, Higuruma stops you before you could, a set of words that have you wondering if sorcery is real. “Don’t you dare fucking cum. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop right now.”

And just the obedient girl you are, you stop with a whiny mewl. Simultaneously, Higuruma pulls out of you, leaving your mouth empty. 

“Let me see your fingers,” but as he says so, he reaches for the hand tucked between your legs and brings it up in the air. Holding your hand by the wrist as he sees how your index and middle finger’s coated in your slick, making them glossy as a string hangs in the air. 

“Clean them off,” he demands, shoving your hands in your face and near your lips. “Taste how much of a dirty slut you are.”

He watches as your lips wrap your fingers inside, making you taste yourself as you hum in delight. He lets go of your wrist, a firm grip around the base of his cock before he’s ejaculating. Wet and lubricated all thanks to you, he’s gripping the back of your neck and holding you still, making your head lean back. “Be a good girl and—”

You don’t let him finish, lulling your mouth open and sticking out your tongue. Shit, you’re fucking gorgeous like this, he can’t help but think to himself. Fucking his fist, he can feel himself getting closer. Holding you still with a visceral grip, his cock so close to his mouth, he feels himself twitching as that euphoric feeling returns and makes him feel young again. He spurts his seed inside your mouth, white shooting inside and some splattering on your face. You moan out without shame, opening your mouth wider as he continues to leak himself inside of you. “Fuuuck,” he breathes.

Falling from his high, Higuruma comes to his senses as he looks down at you. You haven’t cleaned yourself up, afraid to move. He bends down to pull up his pants, his cock softening as he makes his way over to his desk. Sitting back in his seat, he doesn’t make eye contact with you. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get yourself all cleaned up and get out of my office. We’ll see each other next Saturday.”

—

Being a private investigator means constantly being at discomfort. Well, that’s what it means for Nanami because as he captures each picture of you and Higuruma in such compromising positions, he grimaces. Hired by Shiu Kong, he’s known well throughout the world of law, but also in the underground where the darkness prowls freely. Ties that follow the Zenin clan, he’s a person who’s gone untouched and will continue on remaining so in this world of dirty politics. With every snap of the camera and in such an uncomfortable position, he’s not sure how to reveal to his boss what his daughter and ex-friend have been doing behind closed doors.

Your father decided to give Higuruma some grace— sort of. He hired Nanami to essentially watch over you, see where you go and watch Higuruma’s movements. He didn’t want the blonde to immediately report to him, to simply gather up all intel on the dark-haired bastard before making a sound decision. Maybe, just maybe, Shiu could trust you in the hands of Higuruma. Never did he expect your hands to be all around Higuruma.

Nanami made sure to select the most appropriate photos of the bunch he has of you and the former colleague, watching his boss open the manila folder and take it in— take it all in. A calm before the storm settling in as Shiu looks through each and every photo before he’s at the last one. Then, when he shuts the folder closed, he throws it across the room, all the photographs flying around haphazardly. “Why didn’t you show me any of this sooner?”

“You gave me strict orders not to, sir,” Nanami reminds him, fixing his spectacles. “You made me make sure of it.”

Shiu pinches the bridge of his nose. “One thing you need to know, there’s always a time where you must break the rules— AND NOW WAS ONE OF THEM!” The seat he was in is thrown backwards, now on the ground as he hovers menacingly over Nanami. He huffs and puffs, face reddening with anger. 

“Shit,” he curses, hiding his hands in his face. He feels like he’s at the brink of tears. How stupid. How stupid of him to let his guard down. “What am I going to tell my wife? How am I going to explain to her that this—” he gestures towards the thrown down photos “—has been going on for months?”

He starts pacing around the room, hand tangling in his hair before throwing his head back and muttering, “I’m going to kill him.”

Reaching for his phone, Shiu skims through his contacts until he lands on the familiar name— Fushiguro. 

—

Months have passed now as winter break draws near. You’ve just finished your final exam, now able to gain some peace as you walk alongside Nobara as the two of you head towards the courtroom. You roll your neck to stretch your body from hours of sitting and stressing. Nobara moans as she hears the crick of her muscles, “Oh, I’m so glad that that’s over with. I’m exhausted!”

“I just want to eat something, then pass out,” you grumble, hands shoved inside of your hoody as you follow alongside her. At the mention of food, her eyes light up as she spins on her heel, grabbing you by the shoulders. “Speaking of food, you wanna go get hibachi? There’s this restaurant not too far away from campus—”

At that moment, your phone vibrates in your pocket, a message from Higuruma popping on screen, but his caller ID underneath an entirely different name. His message is simple: 7:30 pm. Be there. “I’m sorry, Nobara, but I can’t. Something just came up.”

Nobara frowns, crossing her arms. You’ve been talking to some guy, you’ve admitted it, but you never go into complete detail. All Nobara knows is that once he texts, you’re ready to drop everything to run to him. Within her fair share of relationships, never has she been so compliant towards her man’s every request. “I don’t like this, (Y/N). You’re always dropping everything to see this guy and we never have time to hang out with each other anymore. It’s like, once I get you out of the books, something else steals you away from me.”

You frown, feeling guilty, but you can’t miss this. You always tell yourself that, not wanting to go receive any form of punishment from the older man. “I’m sorry, but—”

“That’s all you can say!” Nobara grows agitated, letting you go and turning her back on you. “Y’know what? Just… Just go.”

And you do, without further hesitation. 

You body lies down underneath him so pliant, your body so willing to give and respond to him as your legs are wide open. Though it may be on your body, his pussy is displayed open for his sight only. How your folds glisten like porcelain and how you clench in desperation for him— for his cock to fill it up. Such a pretty and disgusting little thing you are, always coming back to be used how he wants and never objecting to a word he says. Never saying no. 

He finds it pathetic. He finds you pathetic. 

It’s pathetic how as time comes to pass, whenever you look at him, there’s a sense of need in your eyes. Your mind becomes distorted as you long for him by the second. How your mind has come to jumble up together to form these thoughts inside your head that he’d seek out a relationship further than this. How in the past, you’ve confessed to wanting more and while he tells you how pitiful you are, you always come back. You always come back, seemingly hoping and praying that someday he’ll give you what you want. 

However, every time he looks into your eyes, he sees your damn father and he knows he can never give you more. Not just because of the restrictions, but because he doesn’t want to. 

When you were waiting inside his house, giving you the spare key so that you could hurry inside and get out of the sight of possible nosey neighbors, you were so patient. Laying on his bed with your body sprawled out naked the moment he stepped through his bedroom door, gracing him with the presence of his living fleshlight that he’s come to use and abuse. He’s still got his clothes on, simply pulling down his pants and underwear for his cock to spring free and explore that tight pussy of yours. 

How it always manages to snap back into place, making him have to stretch you out all over again baffles him. By the many times he’s fucked you, he should have it shaped to the exact size and measurements of his cock. He barely preps you, pushing the head of his cock at your entrance and listening to the way you writhe and whine underneath him in pain. Your eyes shutting as you cry like you always do. He grins maniacally as his hand comes to wrap around your neck, holding onto it and forcing your head deeper into the soft cushion of his pillow. 

He silences you through the constriction of air, your cries now silent as he bottoms out inside of you. Your mewls cut short as you can no longer breathe, and the sting to your face always comes as a shock. With the steady rock of his hips, your pussy clenches around him and sucks him in tightly as you roll your hips languidly, feeling the oxygen return into your lungs. 

Higuruma doesn’t want to admit that you have potential. Potential to be a good lawyer. Doesn’t want any guilt to consume him for how he’s made you feel, so fucks into you until your pussy’s all battered and molded back to accommodate him perfectly. You’ve done better than most of the students on your exams, both midterm and finals. You never needed much help from him, you never did. But while your score sits at the top, he has to remind you of your place. That you’ll always be beneath him. 

“You think that a good score will carry you on for the rest of your life?” He leans down to grab your bottom lip with his teeth, biting down on the delicate skin as his grip around your neck tightens. He drills into your tight pussy, knowing that his brutal words always make it flutter. “You’ll get nowhere. You’ll always be eating the scum at the bottom of my shoe.”

He chuckles darkly, it echoing through the room as the wet sound of skin slapping against skin vibrates through the air. The stench of sex wafting through as your mixed arousals seep through. He leans down to your ears, nibbling against the skin. “But I’d bet you’d love that, too.”

He slaps you again, the headboard of his bed, hitting the wall repeatedly as the impact sounds through with everything. “Filthy fuckin’ whore.”

Deep in your mind, somewhere far deep within, it’s telling you— practically begging you— to find your way out. It’s asking you to dig yourself out of the trenches as it’s coming to suffocate you and swallow you whole, but you always push it back. Forcing yourself to accept Higuruma’s cruelty and furthermore, to enjoy it. The joy you felt when your exam grades were announced within a little over twelve hours, that sense of relief and pride that rang through your bones as you couldn’t help but tear up a little. A smile gracing your features as you tell yourself that you did it. And Higuruma’s voice infiltrates your mind shortly after to remind you that it’s because of him. 

You mewl out, your breasts bouncing with each thrust of his hips as you make sure to meet him with every one of them. Your back arching off the bed as your nails dig into his dark sheets. Your mouth is open agape, crying out and moaning out his name like a mantra. Your juices coating his cock and escaping the tight crevices every chance it gets, slipping deep into the cracks of your ass as your sweet cunt drools for him. 

His breath against your skin as he’s so close to your face, brown eyes watching your face twist and contort with pleasure. “Tell me how much of a whore you are.”

“I’m—I’m such a whore,” you manage to gasp, feeling his hands tighten once more. “S-such a filthy and nasty whore.”

“Yes, you are,” he grins wildly. “A dirty whore whose pussy loves older cock. Willing to get drilled by her professor. So, so nasty.”

“Are you…” you try to get your breathing under control. “Will you make me cum tonight?”

“I don’t know,” Higuruma hums, burying himself into you deeply as he stops all ministrations. “Do you think you deserve to cum tonight?”

“Yes,” you nod meekly. “Yes, I’ve been so good.”

“I decide if you’ve been good or not,” another sound of a slap infiltrating the air as Higuruma returns to the beatings of his cock against your walls. He’s an evil man, finding his fill within you as he’s fucked you of his load already, painting your insides white but deciding it’s not enough. When he feels that you’re close, he’ll stop and let your impending orgasm dissipate within the thin air as you whine and mewl in displeasure and beg him to let you have at least one release. It isn’t until he feels that coil in his stomach that he finally decides to be nice. 

“Fine, but you’ve got to cum with me,” he says, capturing your lips with a kiss as he holds onto your neck. He swallows your lips in hunger as you gleefully reciprocate the action, kissing him with so much fervor and passion. It’s sloppy as your pussy pulsates, it screams of your essence as you milk the older man of his. 

A milky white ring forming around his base as he continues fucking you, forcing the cum to drip out of your pussy as the drilling of his hips slow its rough and fast pace. Together, the both of you catch your breath as Higuruma finally pulls away. And for some reason, you thought tonight would be different, but when he climbs off of you to sit at the edge of the bed, you realize nothing’s changed as his voice rings out. Always the same thing, “Hurry up and get going. It’s getting late.”

At first, you always believed that it was his small show that he cared. It’s getting late, your delusions made you believe that he said that because the sky was darkening and he didn’t want you getting snatched away by the wonders of night. But every time he said it, he sounded emptier and emptier. There’s no meaning behind his words. So, you get dressed, calling yourself a lift for a few blocks down in the hopes of going undetected, never noticing the dark car that’s parked a few houses back, watching you leave. 

Shiu lights himself a cigarette, letting out a big exhale when he opens the door the moment you’re no longer in sight. He hated to have prolonged this, but he had to play it smart. Now that colleges will be closing soon for the holidays, it was the perfect time. You had called a couple days prior, saying that you’d be home in two to three days at most. The last thing Shiu had Nanami do was tap your phone, where he saw all your conversations with Higuruma. The conversations the two of you shared were always short and sweet— just what Shiu needed. While you’re on break, Higuruma won’t message you and you’ll come to believe that he’s busy. It wouldn’t be the first he’d gone days without messaging you. You wouldn’t suspect a thing. 

He felt disgust within himself, feeling like a failure of a father for letting this happen. He should’ve checked up on you more, should’ve persisted that you only sought him for help. Hell, he should’ve looked through your schedule the moment you got it, so he could’ve nipped it in the bud from then. A fool he is for putting faith in the school he used to attend. He is a fool for giving Higuruma the benefit of the doubt. However, this regret and pent up anger won’t subside the longer he mopes about it. Now that he knows and now that he’s here, something will finally be done about this. 

“You sure you wanna witness this?” Toji asks the man, hopping out of his side as they both approach the house. The lawyer had always stayed on the sidelines, never wanting to get too involved in Toji’s lifestyle. Anyone could be watching and that itself was a liability. Though, with a son himself, Toji can’t say he blames the man. But, would the lawyer truly be able to handle the bloodshed? “It can get pretty nasty.”

“Nah, I need to,” Shiu takes a long drag from the cigarette. He can feel it pulsating inside of him. If Higuruma didn’t die tonight, someone else will. “Promised my wife I would.”

“Haha,” Toji chuckles, remembering the night the two of them met. He feels pride within himself for being such a good wingman. “Yeah.”

“That’s enough talking,” Shiu drops his cigarette, crushing it with the heel of his shoe, walking ahead of Toji. “This bastard needs to die.”

Sneaking in through the patio door, the two men walk in silence. The gun that’ll be used to kill the former lawyer tucked away in the back of Toji’s pants, him reaching out to pull it out of the confines. Shiu glances at the hitman, giving him a stern look. “It better not jam.”

“My baby?” he scoffs. “She’d never.”

Shiu rolls his eyes. “Anything goes wrong and your pay’s depleting.”

“We’ll talk about that if it comes to it.” They spot Higuruma in the bedroom. Clothes still on as he reaches for laptop in the cart. Shiu tuts as he opens the door, “Your clothes are still on? Good. At least you’ll die with some dignity.”

( author's note. ) this fic was so much fun to write, and i can only hope that you guys enjoyed reading it just as much as i had writing it. thank you for taking the time to indulge in this fic, please comment or reblog with your thoughts.

╰┈➤ credits: thank you so much, @hiraethwrote , for beta reading this for me & making sure i didn't publish absolute garbage for everyone to read.

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

Submas Song Sunday

on TrainGuy Tuesday kinda vibe

Yup lmao I’m Back At It, this time @fourphoenixfeathers Fusion AU edition! :D

Submas Song Sunday, aka where I take a  song from my playlist and kinda just talk about how I think it fits the  subway bros (or just one of em!)

I might include references to fanfic, or explain an animatic I can think up to the song, or just talk about it!

DISCLAIMER: Nothing on this  playlist is intended to portray anything aside from familial  relationships. I am NOT looking at backstories of songs, who they were  written for, or songwriter’s intent. I go STRICTLY off lyrics and how I  interpret them!

You may find a link to the playlist in my pinned post! If you have a song you want me to talk about, send it in :)

Song: Home by Cavetown

So it’s no great secret that I’ve been writing a lot about Ei, the fusion of Ingo and Emmet. In that AU he gets pretty badly hurt, go read both my fic Two-Headed and Phoenix’s series Cobwebs if you want more Ei lore!

Mainly writing this out for her bc I can’t get ideas out my brain right now.

Often, I am upset that I cannot fall in love, but I guess This avoids the stress of falling out of it

We begin after Ei gets injured, when he sees that his four armed, four eyed form that he’s stuck in due to distortion nonsense is seeding some distrust among certain elders in the Pearl Clan. They had never even liked him to begin with; he finds this somewhat distressing, especially now when he’s so vulnerable.

But he can’t help but wonder if perhaps their reaction would’ve been worse if they had liked him. Would it be seen as a betrayal?

Are you tired of me yet? I'm a little sick right now, but I swear When I'm ready, I will fly us out of here

And then he is alone. E is alone and he’s worried about I... Is he getting sick of E controlling everything but unable to do anything about it because I is so injured...?

I also see this a bit as injured Ei with Akari; he tried to downplay how serious things are at first, but he still needs to get her home.

I'll cut my hair to make you stare I'll hide my chest And I'll figure out a way to get us out of here

I don’t take these lines too literally, but Ei tried to hide his extra eyes and arms for as long as he could to remain safe. There are definitely some who would attack him on sight for looking like that.

He meets the banished Akari in that form as well, and swears he’ll get them both home and keep her safe.

But then, post stab, now he hides his scar.

Turn off your porcelain face I can't really think right now and this place Has too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane

The lack of his second heart makes Ei pale, much paler than normal, and things overwhelm him easier. At some moments, more often than before, it’s all just too much and the brain fog closes in. Remembering is hard. Existing is hard.

Are you dead?

E often tries to speak to I. As time passes, the responses get less and less frequent until they stop. E wonders, then, if I is well and truly gone from within him.

Sometimes I think I'm dead 'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head

And Ei slowly begins to realize that he... Is more or less a dead man walking. It’s only a matter of time.

But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet

He doesn’t want to die, but especially not yet. Not when he’s not home. Not when Akari needs him.

My eyes went dark I don't know where My pupils are

Ei’s eyes glow, whether that is two or four. But then... The eyes that belong to I no longer glow after a while. They just remain, half open, unresponsive. He can’t really see out of them any more.

But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here.

E promises I they will BOTH make it home.

Get a load of this monster He doesn't know how to communicate His mind is in a different place

When Ei first showed up, he still was remarkably different from everyone around him. The man is 8 feet tall. He came from nowhere, speaks a strange language, and did not immediately find friends in the Pearl Clan or Hisui in general.

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?

Irida vouched for him, though.

Get a load of this train wreck His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

He’s got amnesia. He doesn’t know who he was, or who he will be.

But little do we know, the stars Welcome him with open–

But, despite the hardships, Ei is living in the moment. To the delight of E, the stars are brighter and the sky more beautiful than he had ever seen before.

Get a load of this monster He doesn't know how to communicate

But now. Ei is hurt. Ei looks monstrous, wanting nothing more than to hide and not show or acknowledge his extra parts. He is not good with words any more; that was I’s specialty. Explanations do not come easy.

His mind is in a different place

Well, half of it is.

Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?

Even now, Irida sticks up for him when suspicious and curious clan members make him uncomfortable.

Get a load of this train wreck His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet

He now knows he’s probably two people. Will he remain two people if one fades away? Will he still be Ei?

But little do we know, the stars Welcome him with open arms

While stargazing was more E’s thing than I’s, Ei still does it. He hopes that his wonder will filter its way down to his subdued half and bring him some comfort.

Time is Slowly Tracing his face

As the days and weeks go on, he gets weaker. His existence cannot be sustained like this.

But strangely he feels at home in this place.

But with everyone he has caring about him and rooting for him and on his side, at the very least. E and I are not alone.

[simmonsized]

hi tell me about transversal trickshot please and what your thoughts are on which dave you chose to have that conversation thank you very much

omg okay i'd love to!!!

this is probably long so i will kindly put it under a cut!

it's probably not related to what you are asking but the name is also a joke specifically relating to the fact that bro was stabbed with his own sword crossways, lmfao (thus, transversal)

anyway!

basically, i picked Dave (god) for two reasons to start, and then it spiraled from there:

ONE, the last Actual Conversation he had with Bro from his point of view was a kind of fraught, awkward conversation in chapter 12, which was written to reflect the last time Dave remembers Bro treating him like a little kid (which is to say, with kindness) (and then does, in this scene, treat him like a little kid). that's some deep deserts lore bullshit, but there's a, waves hand, scene in katabasis that is being directly referenced here. not terribly important.

BUT u know his last interactions with him were like -> watch him almost die -> go back into time using powers he said he never wanted to use again and talk to Bro in this strange gentle way that was completely alien to him because neither of them know what to do or how to talk to each other -> watch him almost die but from future dave's perspective -> watch jane bring him back to live -> see him again and the first thing out of his mouth is "i'm glad you're not dead again"

Basically, he didn't get to have a conversation on the roof like Dave(sprite) did, and so i needed something, i suppose, that would let him connect with Bro, and Dave already had that, so it was his turn.

TWO: Rose lmfao. I had mad crazy plans early on for Rose and Bro, but it also involved tackling something i consider to be a problem in canon; once Rose started drinking, Dave started to retreat away from her, and he certainly didn't do shit to help. Dave is a coward. That's pretty much canon. He doesn't like confrontation, he's not any good at working out his friends’ problems, and he's selfish. But because he doesn't understand Rose, it leads to conflict, and because he can't talk to anyone else about it, it became easier, in that way, to talk to Bro, who he knew at this point, had at least some kind of past with Mom, who he knew is a (recovering) alcoholic.

This then led to The Sword, and a moment in time where Bro gets to see a peek at Dave, and his shame, and the thing that, at that moment in time, is quite literally weighing on him. if that makes sense???

also got to make a funny joke about bro and dirk a la lancelot vs galahad (arthurian legend jokes, caledfwlch, etc)

I wish I could explain how i tend to write conversations between characters but i guess just like. most of the time i do dialogue first and fill everything in later. this usually lets me kind of make sure we stay on track, or at least meander naturally, and then i can fill in what's going on in between, especially if there is a big pause!

So while it starts about Rose, it ends up involving the sword, and thus, the Nasty Death Scar, as it is so lovingly called in my household.

Part of the reason i would not think Dave(sprite) suitable for this is that while he is Dave, and is morbid, his current preoccupation with playing a hand in Bro's death would probably do nothing more than make him feel worse. also he's got his own scar, bro ain't special.

And also Dave, at this point specifically, still has all his crazy unresolved feelings relating to the sword, the fact that Bro doesn't seem bothered too badly by his own death (though we find out later this is not true) and he just. Is gross. LOL i love him but Dave is gross.

I think by seeing Bro's scar, he can kind of like. confirm in a weird way that the event Actually Happened, and that it's over, and that Bro is here, and is alive. That there isn't just a huge fucking hole punched through his abdomen and that Dave isn't insane?? you know??

also references to signs at sundown, my beloved <3

and then of course at the end we see Bro offer a little piece of himself that Dave has never known, although rng is intentionally littered with these, one of my big things with the Strangeness between bro and the daves is that they don't Really Know him as a person. they know bro as BRO the guardian, BRO the person who "trained" (yikes) them, but they don't know anything else about him. This is common with kids as they grow up, as we learn that our parents used to be kids, too. So that one little nametag, handed over begrudgingly, maybe a little embarrassingly, is Bro giving Dave a little piece of himself at that age, something that at this point, this Dave needs desperately. He's already jealous of DS, though it'll take him time to realize it, and so it was important for him to have this conversation with Bro, and to see him as human.

I hope any of this was anything!!! and also sorry it's so long!

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Also Nekrotefeyo was criminally underused for the legendary Eridian homeworld like I was expecting like a big abandoned city or a completely decimated apocalyptic place, not a dried up ocean bed (Are they maybe more crustaceans instead (?) of bugs???) with like 2 Eridian buildings on it and also Maliwan for... Some... Reason. Seriously. Dark Maliwan was so clearly cut content and I wanna know wtf that was all about. Also we got Promethea so it isn't like they weren't capable of making a big city area, like the restrictions of the engine wouldn't allow it, they just didn't... Feel like it? Maybe didn't have time to flesh it out given how late nekro is in the game? Seriously it feels empty as fuck, I love exploring the planets, but even as a certified lore lover I just can't bring myself to explore that place more than I have to for quests. It's really empty and boring

Also, I am bet that the big glowing thing we see coming out of the planet as it fragments is related either to the Machine and the souls sacrificed to make it work, or the Guardian soul main storage thingie. Mainly because ghosts and such are real in the bl universe and they're all that same glowing green sort of deal. It also reminds me of Krieg's mind planet projection thing which does add credence to that. That is potentially why Minos Prime 'hatched', it could have been a storage place for other, maybe reject(?) Guardian souls and that's where all the Eridian and Guardian stuff randomly came from that Tannis keeps goddamn repeating every time u play the takedown. FE Minos Prime was a testing site for prototype Guardians and the souls (I don't want to call them mind cores because the mind core we got from the Vault of the Destroyer was solid and not green and don't even get me STARTED on that whole situation because there was cut Overseer dialogue from when you take that thing out of the Vault and why WAS it even in the VAULT OF THE DESTROYER and Hhhhh) were stored in Minos Prime until whoops they got out. And I'm guessing they sacrificed the people of Minos Prime to the Machine (we literally left nobody guarding it sooo) bc Tannis says they just vanished without a trace. Which ALSO adds bonus points to my theory that the Eridians aren't dead and are just chilling elsewhere laughing at us right now.

I still think Lilith brought Elpis to the Eridian Rift on the map Typhon and Leda wrote all over and she's vibing there, too. Maybe it's a sort of stasis place where time doesn't pass so the people of Elpis don't die. Idk how Lilith would know about that but then again given the chest in her room I would honestly not bet against my whole 'Lilith had help from the Watcher and/or the Eridians during/before Bl3 and refused to tell us' which is why she just vanishes at the end of the game and takes Elpis with her.

And also why Sanctuary-III randomly exists when we have never heard of the company that made it before (seriously what is supamax mfg), it's somehow in good enough condition that Moxxi and Ellie could fix it up with their scarce resources, and they found it before any other people did (can probably chalk this one up to Tannis if there were cameras or it was hooked up to the ECHOnet of Pandora, but the other two points stand). I would've been okay with it if it were an Atlas ship Rhys sent over or smth, if it were an old Hyperion ship, if the branding of supamax mfg was Moxxi and Ellie's team effort of making a spaceship company in honor of Scooter- literally if any of these things were explained in-game, but they're NOT. So I am left to go 'what the hell where did this come from what is Supamax MFG' and like, a random company we've never heard of existing is totally fine, we're introduced to the Obsidian Black Block and Hephestus United as well, but it just feels weird that this random supply (?) ship just happened to go to Pandora for some reason and then also crash or was abandoned for some reason. If we could just get a scrap of info on Supamax MFG and why this ship was on Pandora I'd be happy. Their branding is Ships Made Quick so clearly they build ships which is fine.

Did Lilith contact them? If so, cool, could we get an ECHO log of that? Where did she get the money after Sanctuary-II blew tf up? Did she or Moxxi or Ellie have connections that allowed them to get the ship made for cheap or free? Why did they decide to make the ship out in the open when they knew about the rising CoV threat?? Was the ship stolen? Did the Crimson Raiders just kill a bunch of people to get their hands on it? I doubt it, but this shit isn't explained! So yeah when I write theories like 'Hm well maybe this ship was planted here by the Watcher' its not because I'm driven insane by the Eridians it is because we literally have no other reason to go 'maybe not' and with what little information we do get during the game, it could be fuckin possible!!!

Lilith apparently knew more than she was letting on, she was contacted personally by the Watcher during the end of TPS (brick specially had to ASK what the Watcher said to Lilith), so yeah fuck it the ship and everything that wasn't explicitly explained was given to Lilith by the Watcher to help her in her quest for whatever the Big One is in bl4. Bc you KNOW that Bl3 was just the lead up to get the Destroyer to slip out of its chains thru Tyreen's meddling (literally in nyriads log right before the final boss and its not like ty absorbed an entire planet sized monster and was the size of, like, a shortish tree so you know the Destroyer is still in there as it's further confirmed by Scourge when he says shit like you don't even know what you just did blah blah shut up loser- the only thing pointing to the Destroyer ACTUALLY being dead is that the Vault (????) of the Destroyer (???????????????) opened after Tyreen died but then we can make the Vault of the Architects argument that maybe it considered her part of the Destroyer and her dying confused the Vault into opened, iunno. I don't even know why that Vault was there in the first place wtf was its purpose I thought the Vault of the Destroyer was either the other Pandora one (emergency human feeding port to a monster that doesn't need sustenance) or literally Pandora itself in which case killing Tyreen should have destroyed the whole planet by opening it soooooo I guess that Vault exists to circumvent that extremely specific problem only the Eridians would have guessed could happen idk) and to set the Guardians up as villains cuz fuck them that's why (>:( please gearbox don't, make the Eridians the bad guys if someone has to be evil pretty please the Guardians aren't the bad guys they are literally gaining sentience right now give them a chance they gotta figure themselves out and the Eridians fit the whole 'corporations exploiting their workers' vibe with the Guardians being forced to work even after the Eridians are gone so don't let those parallels slip away with shortsighted storytelling) but then it hurts even worse cuz the story could've been so much simpler and just... Sweeter and better than what we got if that's all they had to do was set those two things up. Bro I hate how every time I go to ask questions abt the game it leads me back here. Because it's true!! And it hurts I just wanna sit down with the lore manager of the game and ask them all these questions because I'm genuinely curious, but I'm afraid of the answers or non-answers I'll get. Again, I get the whole 'things have to happen for plot, not everything should be questioned, give the writers some slack to write a story' argument but when EVERYTHING falls under that category and the story didn't even end up being that great, it gets really frustrating because HONESTLY? if we had gotten good lore and explanations to things and actual world building and details and all that? I wouldn't have minded the main story so much. But unfortunately we got neither good lore (I wanna tell Nyriad she was lied to very badly because it's either the Eridians are evil and liars about a lot, or nobody thought twice the implications of giving the Destroyer a feeding port that explicitly calls humans to it) nor good main story (you know.) and it just. Is annoying. That's all.

[milf-shizun]

Allowing me more opportunity to be hungry for character lore? Excellent! Vorna: ☀️ 💐 🌼 👀 ❓; Luca: 🌙 💎 👀 ; Althea 🦋📚 👀

Allowing me more opportunity to talk about my dumbass children??? DOUBLE excellent! No seriously, ty, ilysm.

Vorna:

☀️ What makes your OC genuinely happy? A person, an item, their hobby? Where is the place they’re happiest, or most at home? What is the happiest they’ve ever been?

Her family makes her genuinely happy. All she wants is to see Moroven again. As far as hobbies/activities go, she's really into cooking. She knows how to handle rations and she's not opposed to simple foods, but if you give her the opportunity to make a real meal, she's almost too eager.

As of right now, she's the most at home whenever the group stops to make camp. When she was a soldier, they had to do that a lot. And the people she's with right now, while most of them clearly aren't soldiers, they remind her of people she used to know.

The happiest she's ever been, I can't quite share yet. But it was before she left her clan. She had everything she thought she could ever want.

💐 Does your OC like flowers? What are their favourites? Do they keep a garden of some sort? What flowers would they use in a flower crown? (and if you like, research the meanings behind those flowers!)

Ooh, good question. I don't think I've thought of that before. I think that while Vorna is definitely a pretty hardened individual, and she's come to appreciate some of the little things. She's no flower aficionado, but I think she would be really touched by the gesture of someone giving her flowers.

She doesn't keep a garden, but her favorite flower would be a snowdrop. If I were to make a flower crown for her, it would consist of snowdrops, pansies, anemones, gladiolus, and white heather. We love flower symbolism, folks.

🌼 Write a short drabble from your OCs POV meeting their LI (or if they don’t have a love interest, their best friend. If you don’t want to do a drabble, describe their first meeting instead!)

Okay, so I started writing for this, but I quickly realized that it was getting WAY too long. But I loved what was going on, and I didn't want to cut it, so I'm gonna keep it and finish it at a later date. But for this ask, I'm gonna try and explain how Dekran and Vorna came to know each other.

Dekran and Vorna actually knew each other as children. They played together with the other children in the village. They even both went to begin training to become soldiers in the same class, but Dekran dropped out after a month. He was really mouthy and sarcastic, and it got him in trouble with authority a lot. It drove Vorna insane, as someone who took her future as a soldier very seriously. So she wasn't too heartbroken to see him leave.

It wasn't until Vorna finished her training and became a member of her troop, the War Pigs, that Dekran popped back up again. He'd become a hunter/trapper and a bard (not like a battle bard, but a bard, he sings really badly). He'd begun trying to get Vorna's attention so he could start courting her, but she just.... REFUSED to give him the time of day because she thought he was a disobedient, immature little twit. But then also he was really funny and sweet to HER. But Vorna is Vorna and so she crushed those feelings under her iron boot. And Dekran didn't push her.

One day, Vorna was training with her friend Bushki, and Bushki was teasing her about Dekran so they could throw Vorna off balance. And it worked. But Dekran was there watching, and Bushki quickly pushed a sword into his hands and was like "oh hey you, you have a go" and he was just like "uH".

And Vorna was like "FINE just to prove that he's a weak lil bitch and I do NOT have ANY positive feelings towards him, I Will Fight Him." And Dekran, bless him, is no soldier. And Vorna laid him out on his ass.

But you see Dekran, having one brain cell when literally under the boot of a punk lady with a greataxe, just smiles dumbly and calls her amazing. That just makes Vorna *windows dial-up sound*.

He kept showing up for sparring practice after that, and Vorna didn't stop him. And the rest is history. Though, fun fact, it was much later during one of these sparring sessions alone, when Vorna pinned him by the chest under her foot, that he once again only had one brain cell and asked her to marry him.

👀 Describe your OC through the eyes of another person! (bonus + specify who)

Oh BOY. I don't even begin to know where to start with this one, aside from just copy-pasting her character description, and that seems very uncreative of me. YOU tell ME how your character sees her, how about THAT? Gotem.

❓ A random fact or short drabble! Or make up your own question to ask the OC!

Random fact? She loves snow. She would die in snow, if she could. I mean, she wants to die in battle, but preferably a snowy battle. She's also EXCELLENT at making snowmen.

Luca:

🌙 If your OC could have one wish come true what would it be and why? Would there be consequences to this wish or would they regret it once they get what they want? What would they give in return for this wish to come true?

Luca would give almost anything to know who his parents were. I have NO IDEA what my DM has planned, so the consequences of this wish are currently unknowable to me. But he does wish he knew who his parents were, and had gotten to stay with them instead of being raised by an Orc warband. The only good thing that came from the Orcs was that he met Mafareth.

💎 Does your OC collect anything? Is there a reason? When did they start and is it beginning to turn into a little bit of a hoarding issue? What do they do with their collection?

Does "things i've eaten that i probably shouldn't have" count as a collection? Because so far, he's eaten iron bars, giant spider webs, and an unknown number of mysterious mushrooms (one of which made his teeth into a lantern light). He's been eating random shit for most of his life, and he's only planning on eating more random shit in the future.

👀 Describe your OC through the eyes of another person! (bonus + specify who)

I CAN actually give you "Luca the Feral through the eyes of Gnerkle" considering Luca is 6'3" and Gnerkle is like 3" or something, ahsjdkd.

Luca is just a towering hunk of tatted-up, red-skinned muscle with a handlebar mustache and two big ol' bull horns on his head. And he swings a really, really big sword, and stands over Gnerkle like a safety barn whenever demons are about. Which is a lot.

Althea:

🦋 If your OC could change everything (or just something) about their life would they? What would they change? What do they think would happen if they did? What would their loved ones think?

Before going on her adventure, she would've changed everything. She wanted a sign from Oghma so, so badly.

But now, with the campaign over, I think she's happy. She's felt what it was like to have a purpose, to have people need her, to love two people more than herself. And now that she's saved the world, they can do anything they want.

The only thing she wants now, I think, is maybe to start her own library in Oghma's name. She'd be really competitive about it and make it big and full of MORE BOOKS than ANY OTHER temple to Oghma. Aolis would think she's pretentious and probably threaten to burn it down whenever Althea got on his nerves (though I don't think he ever would). Terri wouldn't understand who COULD or WOULD read that much, but if Althea needs her to swing her axe at some monsters in order to get an ancient tome, hell yeah she will.

📚 If your OC was given some kind of forbiddon knowledge, what would they do with it? Would they tell anyone? Use it for evil or good? How would it change their outlook on life, if at all?

Oh, boy, that's all Althea is AFTER is forbidden knowledge. She would curate it for her future library. Probably put it in the restricted section. She wouldn't use it for evil or let it be used for evil in any way, though. Knowledge for the sake of knowledge is Althea's creed, but not at the expense of others.

👀 Describe your OC through the eyes of another person! (bonus + specify who)

She just LOOKS like a nerd, especially to Aolis. Terri sees Althea as tall, bony moon elf with almost no meat on her bones, but to quote Terri's player Rae when Althea cast a level 3 Guiding Bolt with a nat 20 and killed a giant worm, "I just remembered that Althea could seriously fuck someone up if she wanted to".

[mentallydatingahotcelebrity]

My Friend Saw Ragnarok

Here’s her opinion on it. Warning: she’s a writer. She only has a “casual” interest in Marvel; ie she’s not a fan of Loki, is mildly interested in the MCU as a whole, and only talks about it cause it’s all I talk about outside of our writing. (We’re both writers.) Here you have it, an outside opinion of Ragnarok: 

(second warning: this is unedited except for some things I think would be hard for people to understand, which I revised to be understandable.)

LOL YES ugh. It was just bad. Okay, to compare, GotG was like that. I almost didn't like those movies the first time around because they're one of those movies where nothing is really explained, you just sort of have to go into it blindly accepting all of these random alien life forms we've never seen before and their powers and planets and scientific laws and such. It was hard for me as someone who likes a lot of reasons and lore for things, to just jump in and be swept into the current. But then they started to grow on me because once you watch them again, the nonsense of it makes sense. That's the point, that you're just suddenly joining this world that you've never seen before and just have to jump in feet first and go with it. Sakaar was like that in a bad way. The aesthetics were terrible, like I said. Literally Star Wars meets Teletubbies meets the Exodar (from World of Warcraft).

(there’s Exodar so you have a visual)

Oh and throw in some... I dunno, 70s space themes or something??? It was just BAD.

And the Exodar was BEAUTIFUL and I looove the Star Wars themes, Teletubbies, not so much LOL But mash all 3 of those together and it's terrible. Just terrible. None of those things belong together. It's like trying to put two magnets together, end to end. It's just a freakin mess and you just sit there, your muscles all locked up, trying to get it to work but it's just not happening.

And WHAT was that wretched prison/holding cell thing where the fighters were kept? That was just weird, and why did you only ever see TWO freakin gladiators?? And the rock guy was kind of cool, like you really wanted to like him but the rock appearance with his weird high pitched voice just wasn't doing it for me, and then that other alien guy who I couldn't even describe to you visually because we never saw him long enough to know what his features were. And obviously Hulk was living in the champion's bedroom, so that was that; but whyyyy did they put Thor in there with him?? It was such a bad plot point because it was just way too convenient. Like "This guy lost because we zapped him at the last second because [who knows why]. Let's throw him in the same room as our champion instead of tossing him back in the pen with the other 2 low-lifes."

There were so many other fighters outside the colosseum getting ready to fight; where WERE those guys?? We never saw them. This whole movie was like convenience to convenience. It was like reading an indie novel. Nothing extra is ever shown,only exactly what you'd expect and exactly what was needed for each scene. You might, if you're lucky, see a rare moment where a really neat plot point or worldbuilding things was implemented, but those moments were more like flukes than anything else.

The plot overall was "okay". I wasn't floored, but it had good substance underneath all that crap.

 Odin dying, Loki and Thor having to work together to defeat Hela, Asgard being taken over while Thor is stuck in some other planet as a lowly gladiator. It had good potential, but I dunno. It was one of those movies where you felt like you were always waiting for something that never came. And in the end you're not even sure what that one thing was that you were waiting for, but you finish the movie just feeling like you never got to see "it", whatever it was.

It's hard for me to judge or compare specifically because I never did see The Dark World and it's been yearrrs since I saw the original Thor.

I really liked that Hulk/Banner had a ton of screen time. I feel like he's sort of in the background of a lot of the Avengers movies, and he never did get his own movie, so it was neat to really see a lot of him. On the other side of that though, his arc was totally flat. There was nothing to it, there was nothing that made him grow or change. He was just Hulk, and then he wasn't, and then he went Hulk again in a little sacrificial moment and just stayed that way. His arc was like a really flat line with a tiny little blip in the middle where he saw Black Widow on the screen and changed back and was all confused and had that emotional moment. Then maybe another blip where he decided to go Hulk to save the Asgardians on the bridge.

Valkyrie (idr her real name) was okay. She had the potential to have a really cool arc too, getting defeated by Hela forever ago and just sinking into that abyss of being a random collector for the GM and drinking her memories away. But I felt like she stayed flat for a long time too, until finally her arc shot upwards at a 90 degree angle when she decided to help Thor after all. And after what? After Loki showed her her memories? That was it? Like she already KNEW all that, that shouldn't have been her major changing point. Also the fact that Thor just HAPPENED to find her armor on the orgy ship just FRIED me to pieces. It's those little things, guys, those little things. You can't just pull that stuff out of thin air. It's bad planning and makes the plot cheap.

Hela was another one that was just "okay." I kind of kept waiting for some real substance from her, but she just didn't have any. Once again, it was just sheer convenience that they find Odin, spend like 36 seconds with him, he tells them he's dying, Hela is coming, there's nothign they can do, he dies, she appears instantaneously and BAM. Everything is wrecked in one moment. And I felt like there was no arc for her either. I never really remember hearing about her previous to this movie, so suddenly Odin just comes out with the fact that he has a daughter that he locked away, etc etc. And we never got to see any backstory or anything on her. She just "was" and then at the end, she just "wasn't" anymore. Like she just blinked in and out. I know her story is part of the real mythology, but it felt like they were just like "Okay we have no threads left to play with from the previous movies, what else can we do?" and just pulled her out of the lore and plopped her in there. The only thing we saw of her story was when she went in the hall and broke the tiles off the ceiling and we saw the "ONE" picture of her and Odin side by side, and are basically left to imagine the rest in our heads. FLAT.

And the Odin thing felt weird to me too. It felt rushed and strange and so disappointing. I never saw TDW like I said, so I dunno what led up to that, but why was he in that "rest home" apparently? Sent there by Loki or something? And then they get there and the building is torn down? That made no sense to me. Maybe it would have if I had seen TDW. But then they find him out in Norway or whatever (I did really love the Dr Strange part) and there he sits in his terrible fashion, almost on the verge of going insane because he's so near death, but he didn't really look sick or weak, just hella old. And he's all "My time has come" and with no more warning or reason than that, he just disintegrates into nothing. Like I always expected that when Odin died, it would be this HUGE thing. Like I would expect some great moment with good music where everyone around him is all tearfully saying goodbye and then all of Asgard is mourning him. Not him going broken-glowstick on a cliff in Norway wearing horrible clothes with only Thor and Loki to see. And they didn't even seem that broken. Thor was more broken by Loki's death in IW (who he only likes about 50% of the time) than he was over his father's death who he loved dearly from what I remember.

And last but not least, Thor's arc itself was.... I dunno even. His was a weird one. His was kind of up and down. Like he lost him hammer, and I would expect some HUGE moment from him after that. Like tearing up or being angry or defeated or something but then they just shot him off to that trash planet and he was so caught up in all that weirdness there, that we never got a good moment from him. It just went like 70s hookah party so fast, that we never got any real emotion from him. And then he never had a moment of weakness. Never that "this is too hard, I'm giving this all up" like all characters have to have. He literally never lost his drive to fight, which would have been cool if there was some epic force behind that, driving him to keep pushing forward, but they really lacked on showing us why he wanted to rescue Asgard so badly. I mean he's Thor, he shouldn't need a reason, but they never let us see the emotion behind that, or let us see some tender moment where he's sitting there telling some story of Asgard and his father or Loki or his mother or anything, and talking about why it means so much to him. The only time he wanted to give up was when he went to fight Hela, and all she did was barely knock him around (less than what Banner did to him, might I add) and then suddenly it was "Poor me, I can't do this. This is too hard." They had it so backwards. He was all amped up and driven to fight her, and all cocky about it, and she smacks him around for a few minutes and suddenly he's like "I can't do this." It was just really weird placement for me.

Literally the ONLY person in the entire movie who had a good arc, was the Executioner. (idr his real name either lol) He shows up, sort of this irresponsible guy , just using his position to get girls and get "things", and then Hela comes and he has no real morales and is kind of a coward who doesn't want to stand up to her so he becomes her second hand guy. First you see him following her around like a puppy, and then he goes from that to actually carrying out her orders. (GROWTH. Even though it was in a negative direction.) Then there's that moment when Hela pulls that girl out of the crowd and tells him to kill her, and he actually hesitates for half a moment, which was SO GOOD because it made him deep. It made you realize he had regrets about it, deep inside. But then he pushes those thoughts away and goes to kill her anyway. So now you know he's totally sold out to the villain's side of things. Then towards the end, when Hela starts to lose, he goes coward, and hides away on the ship with the other Asgardians. (More change and growth, even though again, it was for the negative.) Then at the last minute, when their ship is being overrun, he makes that final decision to forget what Hela wants him to do, to forget his fears, and do what he knows in his heart is right, which was to save his people. And he does, and he dies for it. It was really brilliant. It was such a beautiful, full circle of a character.

Also he was the only one that had GOOD armor. I loved his costume and armor. Everyone else's was crap, but his was good.

I still didn't really like him that much, cause he was kind of cliche, but he was literally the best arc out of all of them, if that tells you anything.

Last but not least, they just tried waaay too hard to be funny. It was like watching some kids’ show, like Frozen or something, where all the sudden things get really meaningful or deep, and you start to feel that moving feeling in your chest like "Okay, I like where this is going." and then some random character pops their head in with some stupid comic relief and ruins the whole thing. The whole movie felt like comic relief to me. There were moments that felt natural and funny, like a few of the moments between Loki and THor, or Banner and Thor, that felt so original to the Avengers movies and I loved that. Avengers is supposed to be funny, because that's how they've always written it, but it's never just PURE humor like Ragnarok. Even Iron Man is more serious than that, and he's like the most humorous out of all of them. So I hated that they kept ruining these good moments with stupid quips or weird things.

You know what it felt like? It felt like if they let the Grandmaster actually write and direct the plot himself. "Hmm you know, I woke up this morning feeling like a public execution." And then he just does it, and what we're left with is Ragnarok.

Overall, it had such good potential but it just fell so flat.

[seengularity]

Autumn Leaves

Pairing: Sam x reader

Gender: not specified

Warnings: FLUFF; implied smut

Word Count: 2.0k

A/N: I literally couldn't figure out what I was going to write with this gif. It seemed harder when I thought about it but when I got to writing, everything just came to me. I didn't want to make it specifically for one gender, so for you males that crave some Sam loving, here it is! Hope you all enjoy it. I also want to thank @impalaimagining for giving me the beautiful gif. This is written for her challenge #Taylor's Favorite Seasons Gif Challenge

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED AND HELPS ME IMPROVE ON MY WRITING. WHETHER YOU REBLOG OR LIKE IT, LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT THINGS YOU LIKED OR DID NOT LIKE.

The three of you finally had a break off of hunting. Nothing strange came up in the papers nationwide and for once, the world seemed quiet. That normally strikes you guys as suspicious, but you, Sam and Dean were taking advantage of that.

The bunker was slightly cold. The heater within worked but it wasn't strong enough to keep it warm. You were wearing your soft pajamas which consisted of a long sleeve shirt, fuzzy pajama pants, and fuzzy socks. Sam and Dean copied your attire, as they were cold as well.

"Can it get any colder in here!?" Dean yelled from the hallway. You were sitting in the library reading Pride and Prejudice, a book you have read for the 20th time now. Dean walked into the library and stopped in his tracks, glaring at you as you read the book.

"What are you staring at?" You asked Dean, but never looked away from your book.

"That's why you're a hopeless romantic. That imaginary stuff gets to your head and gives you nothing but fantasies that no guy is going to be able to ever fulfill," he walked out of the library and into the kitchen. You heard him get the coffee that you made, and you just rolled your eyes.

Dean was always hassling you about reading Pride and Prejudice. You couldn't help but love the relationship Darcy and Elizabeth have.

"Ignore him," Sam said approaching you and taking a chair beside you. "He doesn't read anything other than lore books and the newspaper, so he lacks imagination. I read that book twice and like it myself."

You smiled at Sam, happy to know you both shared an interest in the same thing, other than just hunting. Dean walked back into the library with his coffee and sat across from you and Sam, reading a newspaper that didn't look very interesting by reading the headline. Sam took out his laptop and began typing and searching things, and that's how the three of you were for half an hour.

You were getting to, yet again, a good part in the book when you began to hear slight pitter patter from outside. The sound was very distant and light, and you thought maybe it was just the old bunker. You began to divert your attention to whatever it was that was making that noise and the closer you got to the large iron door, the louder and faster the sound became.

You opened the heavy door and were met with rain fall and orange leaves flying around in the cold air.

"Guys! It's raining!" You excitedly shouted to Sam and Dean.

They both gave you no response and you were confused as to why they weren't as excited as you. But then it dawned on you that they are from Kansas and you were from California. It hardly rained in California and was always dry and hot there. They're used to the rain, you're not.

You closed the door and locked it, rubbing your hands together from the cold breeze that hit you when you opened the door. You walked back into the library and seen Sam and Dean completely ignoring you.

"Whatever guys," you said and began walking out of the library.

"Did you say something?" Sam asked, but you ignored him and walked to your room.

You went and grabbed your largest and softest, not to mention the most warm, blanket in your room and wrapped it around your body. You walked out of your room and into the kitchen, quickly making yourself some instant hot chocolate and grabbed a napkin for any sudden messes. The heat radiated from your glass mug and you wrapped your cold fingers around it to keep them warm.

You walked back up the stairs and to the door, placing down your blanket and your mug, and reopened the door, allowing the cold breeze to fly into the bunker.

"Close that thing, will ya?" Dean shouted. He sounded mad but you didn't care. It's not like you see rain fall in autumn everyday.

You got your blanket and wrapped it around yourself and grabbed your hot chocolate and sat down on the floor in front of the opened door. You always loved and appreciated the cold. The icy cold air hit your face and you breathed it in, smelling fresh but also smelling like rain.

"Hey! Close the door! It's freezing in here!" Dean shouted from downstairs. You ignored him and you heard him walking up the stairs angrily.

"Are you insane? It's like 20 degrees outside and you're letting the coldness come in. It's bad enough our heater is barely working," he said wrapping his arms around his body.

"I don't care, Dean. I hardly get to see the rain, let me enjoy it this one time," you told him. Dean rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed, but you knew he was going to give in. He walked away and back down the stairs and you smiled to yourself.

You stared at the rain, thinking how weird it was that there were times when the rain would come down harder and then softer. You wondered, is the rain cloud heavy when it rains harder? Is the rain cloud more grey when it holds more rain?

This was something you could've easily looked up, but not knowing made your time seem more peaceful.

You heard someone coming up the steps but didn't bother looking to see who it was.

"Need one?" Sam asked you. You looked to him confused with his question, but he had two throw pillows in his hand.

Your butt was hurting from the concrete floor, and you didn't realize it until Sam offered you the pillow to sit on. You smiled and nodded, taking the pillow from his hand and placing it underneath you.

"Mind if we share?" He asked, slightly tugging on your blanket.

You smiled and happily shared your blanket with him, and you both snuggled close to each other under the blanket. Sam reached his arm behind you, pulling your body close to his. He was shivering and you could feel the coldness of his large hand seeping into your shirt.

"You feel so warm," Sam said smiling at you.

"Even though your hands are cold, your body feels pretty warm to me. Want some hot chocolate? It might make you warmer." You offered the mug to him and he held it with his free hand and downed it in one go.

"That was really good," he said laughing.

He had a chocolate milk mustache and you laughed at him because he was clearly oblivious to the way he looked.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked, looking lost.

"You have a little something right here," you said, pointing to your own mouth.

"Where?" He asked, wiping his face but completely missing where the mess actually was.

"Here," you said and wiped the chocolate with the napkin that you got earlier. You cleaned his mouth and you were both smiling.

You hadn't noticed, but your faces were quite close to one another, making the situation feel rather intimate. Sam's smile died down and he had a face of adornment, and you quickly pulled away and placed the napkin to the side.

You didn't see, but Sam's face dropped, sadness washing over him. He thought maybe he was the only one that felt his heart beating quicker as you cleaned his face or when he wrapped his arm around you. He thought maybe he was the only one that felt something between the two of you as you would work on cases together when Dean would leave you two alone. Little did he know, that you did feel all those things that he felt. You knew deep down inside that if you made your relationship with Sam even remotely romantic, your friendship would go down the drain.

Sam turned towards the door, his gaze fixing onto a leaf that was hanging onto a branch by its limb, mentally rooting for the leaf to hang on. When it fell, he heard you sigh, and he was confused about what that meant.

You, on the other hand, wanted Sam to make a move. You wanted him to so badly. You were scared to make the first move because if it all went down hill, Sam would blame you for ruining everything. Not to mention, you would blame yourself for ruining everything. Whereas, if it were Sam, you didn't have to blame yourself. It was a very selfish thing to think, but it's what kept you from making a move.

You sighed, wishing you had the guts to just tell him how you feel.

"Sam, I think I love you." It was all you had to say, yet, those six words seemed so hard to muster up.

The rain was now slowly falling, looking more like mist than rain. It hit the red-orange leaves softly and they dripped with rain. It felt no longer windy, as the cold air was hardly hitting your face. You decided it was time to close the door and go do something else to keep you entertained.

You grabbed your mug and began shifting off of the pillow that was beneath you when you were suddenly stopped and was grabbed by Sam, who brought you closer to him and smashed his lips against yours.

You couldn't breathe and the kiss was sloppy and unromantic, and you couldn't help but push Sam away for some air.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry," Sam said, sliding far away from you. He slipped out from under the blanket and kept his distance. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I should've asked you. I wanted to do that so badly. I don't know-"

You brought your hand up to stop Sam from talking and he shut up real quick. "It's okay, Sam. I just couldn't breathe. But if we're going to kiss, let's at least make it a good kiss."

He eyes were wide and held confusion. He realized he was wrong. You did feel all those things that he felt towards you. He seen you sliding closer to him, very slowly, and his heart began to race because he knew he was going to kiss you. He desired to have your lips on his, even though they were cold.

You reached your hand up to his face, his face feeling warm as you caressed his cheek. You were completely nervous and your heart was drumming against your ribs. You moved close to him until your bodies were touching and you reached your other hand to the other side of his face. His long hair fell down, so you move his hair and pushed it back.

Sam made his move and grabbed your legs and placed them over his, so your bodies could no longer become any closer than they were. Love filled his eyes, as did yours, and the both of you closed the distance that was between your lips.

His lips were cold and soft and they fit so perfectly with yours. Your heart continued to race and your stomach formed butterflies as Sam placed his hands around your waist. The kiss continued and the both of you kept it a clean kiss, no tongue.

The kiss began to die down and as you began to pull away, Sam nipped on your lip and gently tugged on it. It was such a turn on and you couldn't help but feel and look flustered. Sam smirked and lightly laughed.

"Should we continue this in my room?" He asked you.

You smiled and nodded your head. "We should."

[bluerose5]

Tomb Raider Thoughts

I just need to rant about the new Tomb Raider movie. As someone who loved the reboot of the games, I found the movie to be decent enough, but I wish that more of the game could have been incorporated, considering that the 2013 game is what it’s based off of. Just know that I'm not a critic by any means, and all that is stated are my personal opinions.

For my tastes, I’ll rate it a 6-7/10. 

Major Spoilers Ahead:

Personally, I found that bringing Lara’s father back didn’t do much for me. Bringing him back, only to have him die in the end, is not my cup of tea. It's a trope that is used countless of times to make the audience feel sympathetic to the character's suffering, and -while I admire them for exploring her emotionally- him being there (as The Expert) to help her took away from the "sole survivor" aspect that the game aimed towards. She certainly had people to help her along the way in-game, but most of what Richard does feels more like babying than assisting. Not that I can blame him. After all, she is his daughter, but the relationship Lara had with Conrad in-game always felt like him pushing her to take the lead and to unravel her full potential.

For example, when Lara is impaled by the shard of wood (or whatever it was), she has to yank it out herself. In both the game and the movie, she is capable of doing this. Here, we see Lara struggle under distress, just as she does with her first kill (which is portrayed wonderfully both in the movie and in the game). Where it differs is in how the injury is treated. In the game, she has to eventually cauterize the wound herself. She realizes that taking out an impaled object only leaves her open to further injury. In the movie, her father is there to stitch her up and save the day. Again, while touching, I didn't feel her growth in the movie as much as I did in the game.

Next, I turn to support roles. In the game, Lara had a minor crew there to back her up. She had people there that she loved and cared for, who she argued and struggled with, and the movie's complete omission of Conrad deprived her of the father figure that helped her cope with Richard's loss, along with many other unique relationships that were explored (Jonah, Angus, Joslin, Whitman, etc.). I guess they substituted Conrad's death with Richard's, and it could be argued that his death served the same purpose that I stated for Richard's above. Nevertheless, I turn to my next target: Sam.

Sam was a major character in the game. She was arguably Lara's best friend in-game, almost like a sister to her, and she had a major role in relation to the Himiko storyline. They completely trashed that plotline and portrayed Himiko as this self-sacrificing sorceress, when in fact she remained an antagonist until the end of the game. Himiko was going to use Sam as a vessel to continue her reign as a death goddess, so it's a great leap to go from one extreme to another.

Same could be said about "Father" Mathias. In-game (correct me if I'm wrong), Mathias was as big of a believer as any. The storms were keeping them from leaving, and he completely blamed it on Himiko's wrath. He basically ran a cult of believers, but the movie tries to portray him as this (semi-)rational man with some random daughters thrown in there in an attempt to justify his actions. He doesn't seem to believe in myths as Richard does, and I guess this is trying to portray him as more realistic(?). Honestly, I found the character more interesting as the cult leader. I know that that itself is an overused trope, but I felt that it enhanced the character's sense of insanity and desperation from remaining on the island for so long. He wanted a way off, so he turned his blame towards the only thing that made sense out of an irrational situation.

This also circles back around to Lara. In-game, Lara gradually comes around to the idea that something supernatural might be occurring. She has research and knowledge backing her up the whole way through. Same could be said about the movie, but I felt that they executed it badly. Again, they try for the more "realistic" response by saying how insane Richard is, but in-game Lara was the one being judged when she tried to explain the curse to Joslin and the others. Movie-wise, it isn't until Himiko physically infects them that Lara seems to be like, "Oh, magic." At that point, I was kind of wondering if these two were even the same people.

Now, I conclude by saying that I understand that (like with books) it's literally impossible to fit every single detail of a game into a movie adaptation. Additionally, I haven't played the game in a while (and I've only played the first of the reboots), so be free to make any corrections lore-wise. Nevertheless, I feel as if a lot that was thrown out from the game could have benefited the movie greatly. Of course these are my opinions, but I wouldn't mind hearing others.

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Fuck. This is going to be really very long. And I am saying that knowing how long my previous rants were. Those were short compared to what’s about to come.

I absolutely, completely and unconditionally love Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is the singular most perfect TV show in existence. Nothing I have ever seen has lived up to it and I doubt anything I will ever see will live up to this show in its whole. This is my second favorite show on my top five list and it’s held that spot for the past fifteen years (which mind sound strange that I put the “most perfect TV show in existence” on spot two, but… I’m fully aware of all the flaws in my most favorite show and that I love that one with my nostalgia goggles on, but it will still always be my number one and not even Buffy’s perfection can kick it off the throne).

Now, just because I love something doesn’t mean I perceive it as flawless. I am fully aware of its flaws. But nothing is a hundred percent perfect.

I don’t even know where to start, but I think the beginning is the best.

What I hate about most supernatural shows is how “They are now thrown into this strange, new world with monsters… and immediately forget all about their non-supernatural friends” that literally every other show with supernatural elements does.

Not Buffy. When she first meets Willow and Xander, the two kind of only had each other and their buffy who gets killed off right at the start. And even then, Willow and Xander were the non-supernatural normal friends. And they became so important.

The fact that Buffy has this group of ordinary people behind her and really just human characters and that they back her up, that alone is awesome.

The Scooby Gang in general is awesome.

That is my favorite thing about the show. The relationships between the characters and how important they are. That the friendship never takes second place to the romance, like how many other shows like to write it. Because regardless of who was added to the plot and who left again, in the very end, it always came down to Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles and I will always cry at the show’s finale when it is just the four of them, parting ways to go into their very last battle, I mean fuck I’m crying right now just writing this because it was just so heavy with the emotions and the importance of their friendship.

They are the heart and backbone of this show and the show never forgot it.

Many shows forget themselves, they forget the values and beauty they once represented, the longer the show goes on. And Buffy never did. Sure, it lost itself in the middle - but we’ll get to that when we get to that - but it caught itself and never declined fully.

Buffy Summers is an amazing character. She’s a girly-girl who loves lollipops and talking about boys and whining. She’s the most badass female character ever written in TV who saves the world repeatedly and comes back from the dead just to do it again, who has been beaten down by life in the cruelest ways possible and still kept on surviving but never without the scars. Her struggles were never just shrugged off. They became themes that were being dealt with realistically. For fuck’s sake, we had a plotline about her working at a burger shop because yes, this is a show taking place in reality and bills are something that needs to be paid even if you save the world. She is not a perfect character, she made a lot of bad decisions along the way, but that is what makes her human. She is not some character created for an agenda to show that “girls can do anything boys can” and is thus forbidden from doing anything overly girls, as many writers mistakenly do when trying to write strong female characters, because a female is not powerful and strong just because she belittles women who like wearing pink and dressing prettily and who see “girl” as an insult. That is not how strong women work.

Women are complex characters, just like every character should be. They don’t have to solemnly be one way so they aren’t the other way. And Buffy is a beautiful example of the complexity of it all.

Willow Rosenberg is an amazing character. She’s one of the characters in TV that had the biggest character development. This shy, demure girl that became the most badass bitch around who could kick your ass into a parallel dimension with the blink of an eye. The fact that she was literally the first lesbian I ever saw only made her more amazing for me. You see, I started watching Buffy with season 4, which first premiered in Germany in 2001, because, well, I was 10 when I started watching that show since earlier was kind of a little too young in my mom’s eyes, but she’s been watching it for years at that point and I kept lingering in the doorway with pleading eyes because vampires and witches and werewolves, mom, please, until I got to watch it. Right in the season where Willow and Tara fell in love. And I was legitimately in awe, because the concept of two women falling in love was new to me. I never met a real life lesbian before and on TV, the highest of their feelings were Will & Grace with the gays, but lesbians? Never seen that before. It was amazing for me.

And I will forever be grateful that Willow and Tara were my first representation of lesbians that I met.

Xander Harris is an amazing characer. I mean, seriously, I could do this for nearly every character but I’ll only be doing it for the Big Three for the sake of time, okay? He was this fearful, dorky, kinda useless normal dude in the beginning, but he had such a strong backbone, he always knew he’d be there for his friends. And he always was. What made him so special was that he wasn’t special. He was just A Guy. Where Buffy was the Slayer and Willow became the most powerful witch in existence, he was just a normal guy. The original Matt Donovan and Stiles Stilinski and Simon Lewis (despite him turning into a vampire later on, I will still count him for this category). The quippy human best friend to the supernatural. But he adapted. He found his own place among the supernatural and his own way of prodicing for them, helping them.

It amuses me that actually, I kind of started watching this show with its weakest season. Season 4. But let’s start with the other seasons first (I mean, I warned you guys that this is gonna be long).

Buffy was my first high school TV show. All shows I had watched up to that point were family comedies like Married with Children and Full House. But this was the first real look into how American high schools work and I loved it. The first three seasons in itself are the best of Buffy. I’m not even able to pick one season as the best because I like the whole stretch of it.

The dynamics, the characters, the villains, the plots.

Cordelia Chase is - argh, I didn’t want to do this for every character, so I’ll keep it short - another amazing example at character development. From the shallow, air-headed Barbie to a strong ally and friend who fought with her head held high and I will never forget Angel for ruining her.

And okay, if I take a sentence for Cordelia, I can really, truly not skip Giles. Giles, who will forever be The Mentor. When I hear “mentor figure” or “father figure”, I will always first and foremost think of Giles. He was the father and guide to them all, but he was not the one strong pillar, he too had his struggles. It’s one of the things that made me love the second Percy Jackson movie because Anthony Stewart Head is who I pictured as Chiron when reading the books and it is the most perfect casting they could have made.

The first three seasons arched beautifully together, tying the struggles of the high school students turned demon hunters, the funny elements and self-awareness, the serious undertones.

The scene at graduation when the class gave Buffy an award for being Class Protector is one of my favorite TV moments, because this… this acknowledgment of “Yeah, we weren’t always there for you and we didn’t bother getting to know you, but we know you’re there and we know what you did for us” and honestly, I’m crying again, this is ridiculous.

They graduate from high school and then… life continues. Like. Life continues in a realistic way. They go to college, or not in Xander’s case. They struggle with what to do with their lives, they try to find their own paths in what I consider the most realistic portrait in TV. In others, it’s not just “Yup, they college. We’ll mention college every now and again, but it never interferes with the demon hunting” like with most others. Buffy struggles with college work and demon killing, Willow soaks it all up because it’s exactly her world, Xander doesn’t know what to do with it, Giles struggles with what to do with his life in general.

Still, I consider season 4 the weakest season because the Initiative was… It wasn’t used well enough. It appeared and then it kind of disappeared again and in this show where the lore and world-building are so rich and on-point, the Initiative was the one hit and miss they did. Not to mention, I don’t like zombies and Adam creeped me out and was the weirdest major Big Bad that they ever had in that show.

But it brought back Spike and made him a more complex character than just “Bad guy with bad attitude and insane girlfriend”.

Which is a good cue-in for the ships and love-stories, actually.

Buffy is and perhaps will always be the only franchise where the love-triangle clicks for me. Angel/Buffy? Yes. Oh god, what a beautiful, tragic love-story, please give me more of them, OTP all the way. Spike/Buffy? Oh, the pain but they are so good for them and when he’s good, he’s the best, please give me more of them, OTP all the way.

I literally can not decide on who to ship her with. With most love-triangles, I either do not care about both options, or I want to cross the badly written female out of the equation and want to dive right into the slash fiction, or there’s only one good pairing in the options anyway.

The tragicly ironic thing is that for Willow, I have and always will ship her most with Oz though. Willow and Oz were that perfect soft warm ship for me, when I got to finally watch the first three seasons as the reruns hit Germany.

Willow and Tara, while beautiful at times, were also very tragic. The way Willow lied to Tara and manipulated her was just so unhealthy. I do love them together, I just think that I love Oz and Willow a bit more.

Xander is a mess. Like. Seriously. Him and Cordelia. Him and Anya. I can not decide which one I like more in the end, but think that, at this point, it really does become clear that I can cut this show into two parts. The first three seasons of high school where Angel/Buffy, Xander/Cordelia and Oz/Willow are just all the yes, as well as the post graduation seasons where Spike/Buffy, Xander/Anya and Willow/Tara are just all the yes. Which really, truly fascinates me.

Because it’s really rare for a show to get me on board with its canon couples in general. This show does an amazing job on that too.

So, season 4 was kind of flawed in the way the Initiative wasn’t grounded enough in this world and how weak its endgame villain came off.

Season 5 brought the legit only thing about this show that I hate. Dawn Summers.

Urgh. It makes me shudder to just think about her. She’s such an awful and useless and stupid person. And yes, I’m saying person here, because “character” would blame it on the writing and make it sound like she’s a badly written character, which she is not. She was intended to be the annoying, dumb, useless little sister. Not every character can or has to be flawless or lovable. She’s just that… one that isn’t.

And she just becomes worse in season 6, honestly. She is such a self-centered brat that has no concept of the struggles of others. Like. Yes, I understand that she has problems and that she suffers too, but so does everyone and if someone doesn’t have time for her, she acts out. They just… They do have a lot on their plates, trying to save the world and keep you from being homeless, you know? Which, okay, was a solid portrayal of an angsty, bratty teen, I suppose, because teenagers, as I recall from my own time as one, are fascinatingly blind for the struggles of adults. Doesn’t make her less annoying though.

I take back what I said earlier, about not being able to pick a favorite season. Season 6 is my favorite season, which in itself is baffling. Normally, I pick one of the very early seasons of a show because they keep declining afterward until they crash and burn.

Season 6 did the exact opposite of what other shows do. Where other shows feel the need to top it all off, go wilder and broader and more brutal and bigger enemies until it becomes an unrealistic mess, this one just…

Three human boys.

That’s the enemy of the season. Just three stupid idiots who play pranks on the good guys, for the most part. And it was the perfect choice, because instead of having to deal with those major Big Bads, we get the chance to deal with the characters. The one thing I keep complaining about in other shows, how they’re too overcrowded with plot to even give the characters any time to deal with stuff or interact.

Buffy did it.

They stepped back from the Big Bad in favor of dealing with the bigger issues. Dawn being not a real human and not dealing well with that. Buffy having died and being brought back. Willow becoming addicted to magic. Xander… completely fucking up the best thing in his life.

We have character plots in this season.

Character plots that still end in a big battle of epic proportions when Willow literally becomes a Dark Witch powerful enough to destroy the world. But instead of it being some epic battle, it’s one of the… quietest fights ever and it’s brought home in such a beautiful way because it’s about grief and loss and pain and love.

And those. Those are the moments that make Buffy the most perfect TV show to me. It never loses its humanity. Maybe the most emotional scene in all of this show happened in season 5, when Joyce Summers died and Anya talked about her death, about the concept of death. That will never cease to make me cry.

And season 7 was the perfect ending. The way it rounded things up, it brought every single thing full circle, all the way to that above mentioned scene of Giles, Buffy, Willow and Xander parting ways before the very final battle, among all the loudness of everyone, it is brought to the forefront one last time that it is them.

The way they solved the whole Slayer thing, the Big Bad they chose for their final season, the development. Nathan Fillion as one of the creepiest bad guys ever. The fact that, even after all those seasons already, Buffy still had a struggle, had to prove herself.

I have one or two major bones to pick with it, because I hated when the group decided “Lol, nope, we don’t need you, Buffy”… that broke my heart. It breaks my heart every single time I watch it because even her friends tell her they need a break from her. I mean, I love how she found safety and support in Spike’s arms after that scene, but that it happened at all and that after things of course go wrong without Buffy, they all come crawling back… it makes me angry. It was important to bring them all as a team together, but to me it will always feel OoC coming from those she had fought alongside with for seven years, those who should always have her back who always did have her back.

And, when talking about bones to pick, aside from weak season 4 and Dawn Summers, there’s just one more major thing that I have a problem with.

Hank Summers. For those who forgot because he’s literally only been in two episodes, that’s Buffy’s dad. Because Buffy has a father. The “(half-)orphan”-trope is very overused, but I genuinely think this show would have benefitted from it.

Hank Summers does nothing. Not even when his ex-wife dies and his teenage daughter and barely-above-twenty daughter are left all on their own. He doesn’t pitch in with money, he doesn’t visit, he doesn’t even think about taking Dawn in and taking care of her himself.

I mean. Same as with Dawn, it can just be said that he is a Bad Person and a Seriously Bad Dad, but… Give me a break, Buffy deserved better than that. Having him be dead would really have been better, especially when Joyce dies and he just… “Nope, no interest in those kids”.

And on that note, let me add Faith (who I accidentally forgot about before). She’s... probably the most complex character, because it’s easy to hate her, but it’s also kind of easy to love her. She’s definitely the most flawed character and that’s what makes her good. Because she’s bad. She gets the same powers as Buffy, but unlike other Slayers, she gets morally corrupted. But she also finds her way again. She’s a badass bitch and she definitely brought something new to the table. I loved how flawed she was, because she was not a good person, but when needed, she was one of the good guys. They never pretended to turn her around into a good person though, she always stayed true to herself.

The reason I’m adding her here is because I feel like she messes up the mythology a little. Part of me really loved how they brought in Kendra after Buffy died, because “When the Slayer dies, another Slayer awakens” and that they remembered to keep with that when Kendra died. But after that, this kind of really fell apart and is one of the biggest plot-holes to the show, in my eyes.

Buffy died three times. But only her first death awakened a new Slayer. Now, you can argue that with that, the mantle was passed on, but... When Buffy came back from the dead, she still had her Slayer abilities. She was still the Slayer, she wasn’t suddenly back to being the normal girl she was before she turned sixteen and became the Slayer. So technically, considering she was still the Slayer, her other deaths should have also passed on the mantle and thus awoken two more Slayers.

Not to mention... in the history of Slayers, Buffy was the first one to be brought back to life? I always found that hard to believe. No one ever used CPR or magic on a Slayer before? I doubt it.

So in this very rich and grounded lore and mythology, I have a problem with “We got Kendra and then we got Faith and... we don’t bother explaining why we never got any additional Slayers”.

Now, as we conclude this, let me wrap up what exactly makes Buffy the Vampire Slayer the most perfect TV show to me.

1.) The superb writing.

Not just the plot as I laid it out above, the way they knew when to step back and when to give character plotlines instead of big and loud action plots. Simply the dialogues alone. This show holds up. It’s a time-capsule of the 90s, sure, but its writing and dialogues are still funny, emotional, heavy, with exactly the right words chosen. The writing on this show is in every aspect overwhelmingly brilliant.

2.) The characters.

They’re individual, they’re well-developed, they have their own plots and relationships and they are all important, not just the titular character. It inverted tropes with its characters, it managed to put strong female characters out there without having “being a strong female character” be their only and defining character trades.

3.) The story.

Okay, this is technically part of the writing too, but I think it deserves its special shout-out. Because this show has a consistent lore where not all of a sudden all the time something new is shoehorned in and retconned in and where it comes apart by the seams the more seasons it has because you notice the writers didn’t think ahead so far. No, this world is fleshed out, its lore is established and as it is. It’s consistent.

Yes, it’s not flawless, but damn it’s the closest to flawless that I’ve ever seen.