#I LEGIT CAME UP WITH A WHOLE NEW AU YESTERDAY AND I HAVE SO MANY OTHER STUFF TO WORK ON

[vveirdnobdy]

Fic Idea

Regressor Og!Cale and Regressor Alberu, and its an alcale fic, and the symbolism of like a king and his soilder.

That might not be phrased the best way but i had the idea and now i am rotting and ceasing to function.

Like they regress and Cale is only told, "The person you trust the most will also be with you" and the first thing he does once hes able to after dodging his family is call Alberu.

During the War Cale being the main monetary benefactor because i doubt even with the Henituse territory being destroyed they would loose all their money, they give me the vibes of 'we hid it in magic bags all over the place good fucking luck finding it' So Cale was able to retain his family's money.

Subsequently becoming a highly trusted aid for Alberu after some time.

Also the idea of Cale finding out about Alberu's dark elf form because he had something to tell him and just entered his room and they both just stared at each other.

the thoughts are rotting my brain rn ;-;

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH8

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 2,008

- Author Note: Finally update on time! i appreciate your feedback and comment, just drop in my ASK BOX :)

Previous | Next

Chapter 8

“Why are you in rush?” the older guy blinks confusedly at the sight before him. Seul was struggling with her aprons as a frustrated sigh escaped her mouth “I have another work to catch on” untangling the dangling knots around her, Wongeun shook his head in amusement.

He took a few steps closer to Seul, grabbing her shoulders while leaning down to her level “Let me help you with that” Seul froze at the close proximity. A wisp of Wongeun scent reminded her of the supposed-to-be-forgotten-Min-Yoongi, and it was horrible to have him in her mind again.

“Don’t overwork yourself Seul-ah. You are still young” his fingers were fidgeting with the knots around her waist. He carefully untangled it as he smiles bashfully. God, Seul really hated this kind of gesture by a guy like Wongeun. It is troublesome for her heart.

Seul felt a heavy lump on her throat, as she forced out the words coming out from her mouth without sounding like she’s screeching. “Thank you oppa for your concern but I will be fine. I am doing this for my mother after all” she was grateful of the attention that he showed her. Sometimes her colleagues mistaken his kind gesture as a flirt when she tried to push that thoughts far away from her. Just because it was ethically wrong to have a feeling for her employer.

He removed the pink apron gracefully and took few steps back with a soft smile that could melt many hearts “I know you are a good daughter but don’t forget people around you. They care for you. I am sure your mother doesn’t want to see you like this either” Wongeun tucked strand of hair behind her ears.

“Alright alright, what is with this super serious talk. That doesn’t fit you” she chortled, jabbing his arm playfully.

“I am being serious. Okay, I am still worried that your workplace has no female but bunch of hormonal teenagers” his brow flinched together with a hint of concern.

Seul snorted “They are young adults. It is totally different from teenagers. Man, this is so unnecessary. I got to go, I don’t want to bump into any of those babytans” she slipped her phone inside her sling bag, taking all her stuffs in the locker.

“You even have a nickname for them” he pointed out shooting a sly smile.

“WHAT?!” Seul flustered causing her cheeks to reddened turning her into a ripe tomato. She just disliked the mention of their names being associated with her, god knows how she hated herself for letting this thing affect her brain.

“See you tomorrow” she scurried off putting a stop to Wongeun teasing. What a trickster.

 ------------------

Jimin rolled off from his bed and went straight to the bathroom. He was taking a short nap and like a flash all the members disappeared in thin air. Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon went to the company few hours ago like they usually did whilst Jimin chose to stay at home since he already spent 18 hours in the studio yesterday.

Taehyung was not at home either since afternoon, as soon as their Busan’s schedule got cancelled earlier this morning, he went to watch his friend’s musical show. He offered to take Jimin along, but he was dead tired to even get off from his comfortable bed. Taking a nap supposed to help rejuvenating his body and mind a little until he noticed no one was at home but him.

He took a quick shower before coming out shirtless feeling refresh and alive. Not long after, his ears caught the sound of the door being opened, it made him skipped a little in his stance “They are here already? THAT WAS FAST!” he grabbed random shirts from his closet.

“ugh they wont leave me alone right?” Jimin turned into a real klutz as he grabbed his phone and wallet before making his way outside his room. “You said eight minutes” said Jimin who had been busy forcing himself into the grey shirt.

Seul’s eyes widened at the sight in front of her. It made her mind fuzzy, blood rushing in her system and to her astonishment the figure in front of her got Seul losing her ability to talk. To be frank, her knees weakened, and she was screaming mentality.

Jimin noticed the heavy atmosphere making him uneasy for no reason and with that he quickly slipped the shirt over his head. “OH SHIT” his eyes shot opened. He gasped in sheer horror scanning Seul from head to toes.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU” he breathed deeply, taking a step back. Seul could see him blushing deeply mainly due to the way him welcoming her with his toned body. Why must she have a weird encounter with this babytan? Crazy much.

Seul averted her eyes from meeting his shy gaze and cleared her throat in process “Why no one inform me that you will be around at this time?” she mumbled in frustration. This should not be happening since her last encounter with Yoongi was not that good either.

“ARE YOU A…SASAENG PERHAPS?” Jimin clutches onto his phone tight, staring at her way with a bewildered look. His mind was plotting something nasty and cruel, yet he didn’t know if he could execute it. Before things turned bad, he must save himself first and contacted anyone like Kim Seokjin because after all he was on his way there.  

“Were you the girl that Yoongi hyung mentioned before?”

“The one who pretended to be the caretaker ahjumma? When you are not?”

“OH MY GOD. YOU ARE REAL! HYUNG WAS NOT LYING AFTER ALL” his voice croaked at the end indicating his fear and nervousness. The words coming out from his mouth was distorted but sounded cute to Seul. Even though it was not the time to mentally squeal over his cuteness, Jimin is undeniably cute indeed.

“Don’t bore me with your false assumptions. That guy has been getting it all wrong” Seul rummaged through her bag finding her mother’s staff id as a proof so it could shut this tiny guy instantly. However, as a self-defence Jimin took few steps back afraid Seul pulled out guns or blades from her bags.

Rolling her eyes, Seul flashed the card “There you go.. it is my mother’s staff id. Can you trust me now?” she pressed.

He glanced at the staff id in Seul’s hand “Are you sure that is your mother?”

“Duh, yes? People said I take after her. Can’t you see the obvious?” Seul shot him a disapproval look. Maybe, Jimin is cute but he aint anymore when he inquired her like a legit policeman.

Jimin then took the chance to scrutinize Seul’s face start from her eyebrows along her crescent moon eyes that practically shoots dagger at his way making him flustered immediately. Coughing away to ease the awkwardness, Jimin eyes land on his pink lips that purses up showing off her annoyance.

“Are you seriously creeping on me right now?” her voice brought him out from his trance when the reality finally hits him hard. Shit, what am I doing. Jimin bit his lower lips surpassing the urge to cuss out loud.

Seul grew quiet for few seconds gathering the sense of humanity in her before beating the crap out of him “I am here to work, and I don’t have time to explain to someone who refuse to believe what I am saying at first place. I am sure that hyung of yours have already told you what I said to him weeks ago. So, can you just digest it and embrace the reality that I am here to work not to stare at you” distressed Jimin had no idea how to react to this. Should he just run off and find help or should he just let her do the works and wait until Jin and Jungkook came to the rescue?

“I am beginning to be vexed with you, gosh” she stared boringly at his way.

He pressed his lips together trying to steady his breathing “That doesn’t prove anything… mmm…i.. think you are dangerous. I will just…” Jimin strutted to his room and locked the door behind him. Seul grunted under her breath, it was an unexpected meeting again. If this kept going, she would end up embarrassing herself in front of the whole population of babytans.

She felt a small smile crept up at the corner of her lips ‘Except for him. He doesn’t look that baby after all’ she blushed madly upon the image of shirtless Jimin creeping in. Considering Jimin is around, Seul decided to settle things quick and leave as soon as possible. She didn’t know who else would come in few minutes, every second is precious. On top of all, she didn’t want to meet Min Yoongi again. Worst case of scenario.

 --------------

Pacing back and forth anxiously was Park Jimin. He blamed himself for turning himself into a real fool. What was he thinking? Showing off his skin in front of stranger who could possibly hurt him or even sexually harassed him? Was there any case whereby man got raped by a woman? Negativity only to bring unnecessary panic.

Think rational.

Calm down.

Inhaling a deep breath, Jimin took his phone and his fingers clumsily typed a quick message to Jin asking his whereabouts. He clearly said it was only eight minutes, but this took forever.

Releasing a sigh of relief, Jimin finally felt less helpless at the moment. He did not even dare to go beyond the door. No one knew what she could possibly plan in that brain of hers. Another thing was that she looked pretty decent to be referred as a murderer or kidnapper however anything could happen in one night.

He sunk on his bed, squeezing his eyes together ‘Why is she here. Is she real’ he raked fingers in his damp hair angrily.

--------------

Drumming his fingers against the glass table, Yoongi concentrated on mixing the tunes that came into his mind earlier with the new verse that Hoseok suggested. He had been busy producing new songs for their upcoming comeback and this was just beginning. Out of all time that he had in this world, he loved those days when he could spend all day in his studio making music, getting new inspirations and let the idea flow beautifully.

Staring blankly at the cold ceiling, his mind drifted off to the kisses that he had with Seul few weeks ago. His brows clenched together, protesting the dull ache that was beginning to grow in his temple “Screw that woman” he scowled.

The beep coming from his phone diverted his attention from thinking of Seul again, thankfully. A message from Jimin was unusual unless it was really important.

He arose from his seat, shutting down all the equipment. His determination to catch Seul again today doubled “I will make sure to catch you this time” he grinded his teeth together. As he was about to exit his room, he bumped into clueless Hoseok right in front of his studio “Are you heading back already?” the younger guy blinked at his hyung unusual behaviour.

Min PD won’t be back home not until he was summoned by Jin. When this happened, it simply means Jin was annoyed of Yoongi overwork himself to the extent of neglecting his meals and rest.

“I will be back later.. I have something important to do” said Yoongi flatly avoiding Hoseok judgemental round eyes.

“And? Why you look irritated? Did something bothering you” Hoseok used his luck to pry answers from him.

“Later. Tell Namjoon, the song demo is on his desk” giving Hoseok a light pat on the back, he brushed pass him without looking back. This was it, he had no time to waste or else he would be losing her again. It was already hard to predict her shift every day, he was not planning to waste the chances.

Hoseok watched his small figure disappeared “Is hyung dating someone? Not that I remember”

  This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.

[noccalula-writes]

Can you give us your detailed thoughts on Avengers: Endgame?

SPOILERY THOUGHTS ARE COMING.

The basis of most of my gripes are: if Age of Ultron hadn’t been so shittily written, a lot of this could have been avoided. Not all of it, but a lot of it. But I’ll go line item by line item outside of that thought.

First off, Steve. Y'all already know I’m a Stucky shipper, but even outside of the context of the ship - and I fully support people who feel their relationship is platonic but very intimate as long as they have been supportive of how emotional their story is, let’s do that more with male friendships please - you have to admit that there has been no greater, longer standing or fucking emotional relationship arc through the entire goddamn MCU than Steve and Bucky. Platonic, nonplatonic, whatever. We literally watch Steve tear down a branch of the goddamn government to get Bucky back, and since the first movie, Bucky has been his emotional touchstone. Steve’s singular dedication to rescuing and protecting Bucky has driven him to the heights of recklessness and has made him nearly sacrifice himself a dozen times.

But he ditches out on him, after he’s been dead for five years no less, to go back to the fucking fifties and derail Peggy’s entire well-lived life.

I don’t buy it. I think this was purposeful diversion to avoid appearing “too gay”, and it fucking infuriates me. There is an article on The Daily Dot that explores this better than I even thought to and you should definitely read it.

The idea of Steve getting to live a full life and be happy? Wonderful. But the way this was executed felt cold, clinical. We’ve spent more time developing emotional bonds with Steve than any other character in the MCU except maybe Tony, and yet we the audience were completely shut out of his feelings for the entire last half of the very last film. It felt like a door had been closed on us. There was none of the warmth of Steve, only the resolve of Captain America, and a very rash decision that felt so poorly planned after he said barely two things to the man who has been the axis of most of his decisions in this entire series.

Sam is absolutely the right choice for Captain America, though. That was what I was hoping for, and he deserves the mantel.

Tony Stark, love of my life, was set up to make the martyr play from the very first Avengers film. This is where it was always meant to go, and I have spent every movie since AoU waiting for it to happen. Honestly, I feel like Tony’s arc was the one arena where everything was done right (except, I’ll be honest, I don’t know how I feel about him having had a kid - I’m not mad at it, though). If you follow me you know I don’t think he and Pepper had real staying power no matter how much they love each other, but I also never anticipated that he’d be with anyone else, so this wasn’t a disappointment (I love Pepper, to be clear). I was proud of him. I was sorry he wouldn’t get to see Morgan grow up, but I was proud of my man saving the world.

I love him with all my heart. He’s made dumb decisions but when the metaphorical knife was against his throat, he came correct with absolute resolution.

Wanda might as well have been a cardboard cutout, which on one hand was fine because she had way more screen time in Infinity War than she’s had anywhere else since AoU (shudder), but she’s been reduced to this background character who got shipped off with Vision just so she’d have something to do (and yes, I know it’s comic canon, but it was so out of left field in the MCU that there was no way this wasn’t a factor in). Wanda is a wealth of possibility for a storyteller - think about the grief this character has endured (consider my consider, Wanda Maximoff diatribe from yesterday) and how she’s learned to use her power. Think about the evolution of going from a volunteer for a program to literally become a mutant to fight the Avengers and then becoming one and losing your fucking twin brother, the only constant in your life. Think about having to kill the only person you could try to put a life together with. Think about all of that and tell me she hasn’t been wasted in the background.

(Also - how in the fuck is Steve gonna tell his black best friend Sam that he preferred the fifties? Really? )

This brings me to what I think is easily the most egregious of all the fuck-ups in this movie - Clint and Natasha. This is where we can draw a direct line back to the problem in AoU, when Joss “Feminist Icon” Whedon decided that dropping a house, wife and 2.5 cardboard-ass kids we got zero development time on was a better answer than, oh, actually developing Clint as a character. Partially this was to promote Brucetasha, which as we all know went so fucking well through the rest of the movies, but subverting what he felt was the “obvious” ship for Nat (the irony of this being he said something along the lines of “well, Bruce and Nat made so much more sense to me” and pulled some lame ass Beauty and The Beast allegory out during an Entertainment Weekly interview about AoU and it’s ended up becoming one of the most hated creative decisions in the MCU as of yet.

Listen, if you want Clint and Natasha’s deep and intimate and formative relationship to be platonic-only, I’m cool with that. I ship ‘em but I also love male-female friendships that mean the entire world to the involved characters and are not romantic. But we were given a decision in AoU that was eliminated so many future possibilities and put us on the path we’re on now.

If you know Clint as a character, you know that he’s a loveable fuckup. THat’s kind of his schtick. I have no idea how they plan to make that work in the supposedly-happening Hawkeye series based on Matt Fraction’s run given that now we’ve got Clint married with kids and Natasha dead, but okay. Endgame takes Clint’s grief and weaponizes it, but naturally, we only ever see him killing people of color (they mention he killed a Mexican cartel, we see him going after Yakuza) ((if you couple this with the shaved haircut and the shitty Japanese-inspired sleeve, you start venturing dangerously close to white supremacist territory)).

Clint is dark and broken, and Natasha saves him - just like how Natasha was dark and broken, and Clint saved her. By not dying. So. I mean.

As I’ve said in another ask, here’s the thing: I would have been okay with Natasha making the sacrifice play if there had been no Bartons to bring back. I still would have been furious if they hadn’t loophole’d her ass back - What happens when Steve returns the soul stone? Do you get back what you paid for it? - but the idea that we had to trade the original female member of the team - the closest thing to diversity they had being a white woman is terrible but here we are - for one of the shittiest, most sloppily written things that Joss Whedon plunked down on a page? My blood boils.

It’s been like 4 days and I am still just beside myself angry about Natasha Romanoff. Furious. I love her and Clint and I don’t undersell the strength of their relationship but at the end of the day, she died so a man could go back to his family, because nuclear families are more important and Natasha has no one. I guess. I don’t know. I’m so fucking mad.

That pandering-ass “we’re doin’ us a feminism” scene of all the women fighting together, even though it made zero logistical battlefield sense and most of them didn’t even know each other, felt even more gross and cheesy and self-congratulatory considering what had just been done to one of the most important women in the series. But hey. We got a shot of a lot of women fighting. Hashtag feminism.

Thor’s ending was okay. Thor’s arc was pretty good. The fat jokes were shit but I loved the idea of Thor still being worthy even when he’s not who he used to be. I nearly came when Cap caught Mjolnir. Conceding New Asgard to Valkyrie was super smart, and I like that he’s going to go figure himself out with the Guardians.

Speaking of, Gamora’s whole story has made me feel gross. As the daughter of an abusive stepfather who also loved me a lot when he wasn’t being a monster, it def made me squirm. But the reality is I don’t give enough of a shit about any of the Guardians to care about what happens to them other than Thor, so. Chris Pratt can eat my entire ass.

The things it got right - pacing an insane amount of action in a way that never stalled, executing a beautifully woven and inlaid sacrifice arc for Tony, Paul Rudd in general - are so much smaller than the things that were just… gapingly terrible.

Did Bruce even get an ending? Did anyone remember what the hell he said he was gonna do? He got lost somewhere in the shuffle and I legit have no idea what his ending was.

Ugh. I need some ibuprofen and a nap. I’m gonna go back to writing my Natasha sex-shop au in which SHE WILL NEVER EVER EVER DIE FOR CLINT’S STORY DEVELOPMENT and wish I still drank.

[axela-storm]

Werewolf AU : 09.Happy Birthday II

***********

Summer days passed quickly, faster than Hyun expected. It was time to return to the capital and resume his life as always, but in the situation in which he was now, it was impossible.

After talking with Alister, he agreed that it was necessary to be here a little longer, so that the situation changed, or at least it could be resolved.

"Hyun, I understand that you want to go home, but I need more time to solve this whole issue, so take this time to train."

Hyun took a physical training seriously, every day he was training for hours and hours to improve his flexibility, strength, tone his muscles well. And that gave him a results, his body was more toned, stronger, more slender.

His martial arts training with Alister improved greatly his reaction, his balance and his agility. Now his transformations were less painful and more faster. His silver hair grew enough to pick them up in a short ponytail.

Today was Saturday, and it was the day when he went to see her, the little stormy example of humanity.

He was smiling while thinking about her.

She was the only person with whom he could be as he wanted to be, not fitting his self, not pretending to be a someone who isn’t him.

But for her, he would always be only her white wolf, and that made his heart shrink, but he understood that soon he was leaving this place, and it wasn't reasonable to get used to it, she would also forget him when he leaves.

Hyun woke up very early, as usual, sun had started rising from the horizon. He got out of his bed and went to the kitchen, to catch a bottle of water. Alister was there with a cup of coffee.

"Good morning Alister, you are awake so early .."

"Yes, I have things to do, today I'm going to talk to your father, to decide what we're going to do, we stay still here or we come back."

"Come back? ... So soon ... oh, I mean, that's fine, that means everything is solved?"

"Not yet, but I have everything under control, more or less ..." Alister was looking through the window. "I hope so, Hyun , I hope so .."

"What are your plans do today?"

"Nothing particular, I take a walk, and then I will be training, as always."

"A walk?" Alister looked at Hyun raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, a walk, why the face?"

"For nothing, how is the girl?"

"She's fine ... What? Alister!"

"Ha ha ha .. I'm sorry, but it's funny"

"Funny !! Why?"

Alister was laughing. Hyun's face was blushed and embarrassed.

"Your reaction, it's funny..hahaha .."

"Whatever you say ..." Hyun ran out of the kitchen and Alister kept smiling.

"Poor Hyun Ryu, you're falling in love, and you don't see it ..."

Alister knew that wasn't good for many reasons, and that is why he hoped that soon they could leave this place, and that youthful love would be forgotten quickly, before it can cause bigger problems.

"What is this guy talking about ... damn .."

Hyun came running into his room, his face was still red.

After taking a shower he put on comfortable clothes for a walk and left the house.

The road to the cave was not very long, before entering the look around, there was no one, then entered inside.

He took off his clothes and kept them under the ridiculous bed that was there and then transformed.

He was halfway down from the viewpoint when the wind brought such a familiar floral smell, it was her ...

"Good morning Zen!" then she hugged him.

"As always so impulsive," Zen sighed, but he missed her hug.

They went to the viewpoint, it seemed that Melamory was a little sad today, they ate together and then she was telling him everything that happened during the week at school.

"You know, tomorrow is my birthday ..."

"Birthday, really?" Zen was looking at her.

She fell asleep and he kept looking at her, that reddish hair, her long lashes, those little hands, he couldn't help himself and licked her hand.

"Shit ..." after understanding what he had done, he wanted to hit himself for it.

******

Alister was thinking how to present the information that he discovered to Hyun's father.

This information could do a lot of damage not only to Hyun's father, but also to the whole family, to all the community of werewolves.

And this could put Hyun in a more dangerous situation, but he had no other solution, he had to protect young Ryu.

When he arrived at the office of the Ryu company, he waited a while before entering Hyun's father's office.

"Good morning Alister." Mr. Ryu got up from his table.

"Hello, I'm sorry for being late."

"Nothing's happening, I was waiting for you, Well have you found anything important?"

"Important? Yes, you can call this like that, first read this, and then we'll talk .." Alister put a folder with documents on the table.

An hour later, Mr. Ryu got up from the table and approached the little table with glass bottles filled with an amber liquid.

He filled two glasses of this liquid from one of the bottles and went to the armchairs where Alister was, he put a glass in front of Alister.

"Are you sure about all this?" he asked without looking up.

"Yes, I'm sure" answered Alister.

"My God .. How did I not realize this? ... How have I not seen this?" He took his brandy in one gulp and then looked at Alister.

"What do I have to do now? What can I do now?"

******

Alister returned to the cabin late at night, Hyun was waiting for him.

"Are you awake? Is something wrong?" asked Alister

"I just wanted to know how it went with my father."

"It went well, I think so."

"Are we going back home?"

"Not yet Hyun, I think we will be here for a while, but you will have to study at home, a teacher will come to teach you, you have to be prepared for the exams at school when you return."

"A teacher? But .."

"Don't worry, it's one that I know, it's legit, he's going to come twice per week to teach you."

"Okay, it's unexpected but okay, if necessary I'll do it.  Alister, hmm can I ask you what's going on? "

"Nothing that you have to worry about, soon everything will be back to normal."

"If you say so, you know I trust your words. Hmm, and I have something else ..."

"Something else?"

"Yes, hmm, I found in the barn that is behind the house a bike, it's a bit old but it looks in good condition, can I use it?

"What? A bike? Are you serious?"

"Yes, why not, I can handle it and I have a license"

"Well, there won’t be a problem if you promise to not do crazy things and to not call a lot of attention, you know we have to be careful."

"I promise I'll be more than careful, thank you Alister !!"

"You're welcome, just be careful."

"I'll do, good night Alister." Hyun got up from the table and went to his room.

The next morning Hyun was busy with his new acquisition, the bike was covered in dust and had no gasoline, but that was not important.

He was determined to fix and clean this old bike as soon as possible. After three hours of work and swearing, the bike looked like new.

"Alister, look how gleaming it is now, my iron horse!"

Alister went out of the house and stood on the porch leaning against the railing.

The blue bike was clean and the chrome parts were shiny.

Hyun's face was priceless, all stained with oil and dirt, but he was smiling proud of himself. Alister could barely keep his face serious.

"I see, the BIKE, is perfect ... but you need a long hot shower .." Alister could not take it anymore and laughed out loud.

"What? ... Shit..Alister! Do not laugh ... I will kill you..damn .." Hyun looked at his clothes and his hands ..

"Damn ... I have to ... not laugh ..."

"No, on the contrary, I am very proud of your determination Hyun." Alister tapped Hyun on the shoulder.

"I'm going to take a shower ... and ... thank you ..." he entered the house without looking at Alister.

Alister was thinking, that despite everything, Hyun has not changed so much, this guy was always kind and helpful with a gentle heart, even though he pretended to be a tough and  an indifferent.

But he hoped that in the future Hyun could be stronger, to be able to go through all the difficulties that he could find ahead.

Hyun has left the house, a black jeans,  a white T-shirt and a black leather jacket and a boots.

"For God's sake, where are you going with these gangster pints?"

"What? Gangster pints? What are you talking about? Well, it does not matter, I'm going out for a while, I want to try the bike."

"Well, do not forget what about we were talking yesterday, try to pass unnoticed."

"Do not worry, nothing will happen, I don't look for problems."

Hyun filled the bike tank with gasoline a little bit, he will fill it full later when he arrives at the gas station.

He started the engine and gave a little acceleration, he listened to the engine sounds. Then he got on the seat and put on his helmet, said goodbye to Alister raising his hand.

The roar of the motor, the wind, the speed, all of it enchanted Hyun, in the capital he very often rides  his motorcycle, and he missed these sensations of freedom.

He came to a mall that was outside the city, he had an important thing to do, an important thing for him.

Hyun thought a lot after Melamory told him about her birthday, his first thought was sadness, because he could not be with her on this day, but then he thought of the other idea ...

After an hour, he left the mall with a small silver box.

It was getting dark, Hyun was hiding behind a large tree, looking at the house that was full of joy, of lights and laughter.

And finally he has seen her ... at first he didn't recognize her ...

A beautiful girl was on the porch of the house, her dress of emerald green silk, slightly delineated the curves of her figure, her reddish hair fell on her shoulders and her back magically, like a cascade, and small butterflies glittered in her hair .

"You're ..beautiful .. Melamory .." Hyun was surprised, not only to see her like that, but at understanding that she was not a little girl anymore ..

He waited for all the guests to enter the house, and then he approached the house stealthily, took the box from the pocket of his jacket and put it in an armchair on the terrace.

"Happy birthday Melamory" he whispered and left …

*********

I hope you enjoy reading 😘

[kingsofeverything]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

1. List of works published this year: 

In the order that they were posted

Fall At My Door 

Collide

Mercedes Boy

The Oldest Magic Word 

With a Word (part 2 of FAMD)

Possessing All of Me (part 2 of MB)

It Had To Be You 

One of Many 

Stranded in a Dream

How Fast You Fall

Soft Wings

Has The Ocean Lost Its Way 

Splish Splash 

Don’t Want Shelter 

Wasted Like A Memory (part 2 of DWS)

Just Around the Corner 

Find You Home 

Sweating ’Til My Clothes Come Off

Number 84 

Let Me In (part 3 of DWS)

Admission

Intention

Resolution

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Don’t Want Shelter, definitely. The idea for it came to me over a year ago, and that was basically exes to lovers stuck in a hurricane together. I tried to write it earlier in the year and scrapped it. It was a completely different story and they were actually exes, but it just wasn’t working. RIP those 10k words. But I set out to write something with more emotion and I wanted to write something different and I feel like I succeeded. I’m very emotionally attached to their characters in DWS too. It’s been hard to get my head out of that universe.

I’m putting the rest under a cut because this got really long.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Soft Wings. It was soooo hard to write at that time. I was just struggling to write anything at all and every single word of that fic was a giant pain in my ass. It was a bday gift and I actually decided not to do gift fics anymore because of how hard it was to write. The last gift fic I wrote was DWS and it was like 2 months late-- sorry about that @justafatbirdonaboat <3

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

So, this was actually difficult and I would rather include the sex scene I mention below in question 7, but it’s long and... it’s smut and I feel like dropping it in here with nothing leading up to it or after it takes a lot away from it. This is from DWS:

If he keeps himself busy enough, which he’s fairly successful with, he doesn’t have time to think about Harry and how once again he practically laid himself bare for absolutely no reason. It’ll fade, he knows that, but at the same time he doesn’t want it to. It’s how he finds himself going out of his way to some specialty store to find Harry’s organic cinnamon toothpaste. It’s why he bought some fancy vanilla candle for his bedroom. He’s fighting with himself over trying to forget and wanting to remember, because he knows that eventually it’ll be gone no matter what he wants. The toothpaste will be empty and the candle will burn down, and it’ll all become a distant memory.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

i got a super long and detailed comment on FAMD from one of my favorite drarry authors and bloggers that came at the perfect time when i was feeling really shitty about writing and also life in general. it was such a surreal thing for me because i was reading the comment and it was just super lovely and the whole time i was reading it i was like OMFG and fangirling lol

all of the comments on DWS from people who read it as a WIP. they were like some sort of super fuel for me. and it was... idk a special thing for me. i’ve never done a WIP before and idk if I ever will again. it just worked out with that fic because of the chapters and betaing etc. but every time i posted a chapter and people would comment on it, it was just... idk it meant a lot that anyone would follow along, i guess.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Writing Soft Wings, so late May, and then again after I posted DWS, I struggled with Sweating ’Til My Clothes come off. That was Reason #14 and literally NO ONE wanted to write that prompt, so I took it. Mainly though, my struggles have been with fics that either I’ve abandoned (the old version of DWS) or my unfinished sci fic au.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

i feel like everything i write surprises me. i’m constantly shocked that i write anything at all. i think that most of dws was surprising to me. i had a vague idea of what i wanted their personalities to be like, but the way they ended up was so much better than i thought they’d be. I MEAN, i legit thought that the entire fic would take place over 3 days and would end when the storm ended! and then the storm ended and i was like... wtf i’m not anywhere near finished with this. and then a scene specifically, umm... there’s a sex scene in ch 7 of dws that ended up being wayyyyyyyyyyy more emotional for me to write and it still makes me sad to read it. and i’m like 99.999999% sure if you’ve read that fic, you know what i’m talking about. i wrote that and immediately was messaging nic like “i’ve made myself sad with smut! what is wrong with me?”

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i’m much less messy, though i’m still messy. i think i was easier on my beta this year. less cliche (unless i’m cliche on purpose) and better at getting the emotions across? I DON’T KNOW @louandhazaf is better at this stuff. she answered a different question about this earlier in the year actually.

wait. also. i think i’m better at conceptualizing a story BEFORE i start writing. i still suck at it, but not as badly as last year. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i’d like to write another long fic. i’d like to get better at developing secondary characters. i’d like to write more emotion into my fics. i’d love to be better at outlining and planning fics, but idk if that’s who i am lol 

tbh i’d like to be better at the part of writing that, up until this point, and to a certain point, come naturally to me. i don’t think about my character’s motivations or what they’re separate stories are or backgrounds and shit like that until i’m writing and sometimes i do it and don’t realize i’m doing it? i guess? I DON’T KNOW. coming from a math background and never having written or even taken a creative writing class or anything like that, like... some of the most important aspects of writing, i have no clue about them. at least that’s how i feel. a lot of what i do is just................. like me flying by the seat of my pants. 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

this is my answer from last year and i’m just going to leave it because it’s still true.

NIC @louandhazaf​ my friend and forever beta. one day we’re going to take over the world. just depends which one of us is in charge of the brain that day as to whether it’s for good or evil.

however, i’ll add to this a bit. nic is the best cheerleader and beta and all of that. bouncing ideas around with her is always fun and always productive. we laughed so hard when we were talking about ideas for DWS. like... i think we both laughed so hard we cried. 

having writer friends -- so all of you -- has been such a positive thing for me. knowing that we all sort of go through the same shit makes it easier when it’s my own lol. 

specifically, i’ll say that @phd-mama influenced me with her fic ‘feels like coming home’ because i read that fic and when i finished i decided that i needed to write something with more emotion behind it, something with a really great (though not necessarily good) back story. the history between her characters in that fic..... idk a lot of it hit home for me. and because of that fic, i wrote DWS. so, thanks <3 

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

ummmm... yes. let’s just say.......... yes.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

yes! write what makes you happy, even if that means writing something sad and depressing. but also try to challenge yourself to write things you’re not used to or things you haven’t done before. also, just write. you can edit later. put words down.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

my near misses fic, which is what i’ll call it until i title it, that i am super excited about (this one just came to me yesterday)

moodboard fic - it’s anon, so i can’t say anything other than that. i started it, but i think i’m going to start over. 

2 time stamps for ‘don’t want shelter’. one that takes place the summer they’re 13, and one that takes place between chapters 8 & 9, but before ‘let me in’

my sci fi au - it’s been kicking my ass for most of this year 

i have a fic idea where they go from friends to lovers, but it’s a long long road to get there. idk if i’ll get to it. it would be loooong. 

i want to do a valentines fic but idk if i’ll have time. i’d like my near misses fic to be for valentines, but that’s a lot of pressure on me and then on my beta.

28 proposals with jess @someonethatsfunny and if we want to do it for an advent fic for next year, i need to at least write a proposal per month. 

i want to do the new relationship travel the world fic with nic @louandhazaf that we’ve talked about co-writing, but we both have so much going on......... 

oh and the tiny penis fic series. which is 5 short fics that are not connected, but one of them has a tiny penis in each fic (it switches around and also maybe they both do in one fic)

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

I would like to tag all of my writer friends, sooo you’re all tagged. Also, this is more than 3, but idc

@dinosaursmate @allwaswell16 @letsjustsee @gaycousinlarry @goodmorningtoyouuniverse @assisreal (writing or art, saori! or both!) @prettytruthsandlies @someonethatsfunny @phd-mama ok i’ll stop tagging so that y’all will have people you can tag lol

[ficdirectory]

Blink (An AU Fosters family fic) Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

 Pearl is wishing right about now that she didn’t have cell service, like Jesus.  For the last who-knows-how-many hours, she has been on the phone with her mother, who heard about her New Year’s Eve trip to the grocery store with Jesus and is freaking out for no reason.

“Honey, I’m just worried.  It’s not normal to be hanging out with a teenage boy like that.”

 “What do you mean like that?”  Pearl asks, between clenched teeth.

 “Gladys called me,” Mom says in a knowing tone.  

 Gladys.  Otherwise known as the world’s nosiest cashier at Super One, who has worked there for decades and makes it her business to bring up Pearl’s business every time their paths cross.

 “She says that you went shopping yesterday with some teenage boy and ignored her when she spoke to you.  Now, that’s not how I raised you.”

 “I was busy.  I had things to get.  It wasn’t personal,” Pearl insists, grunting as Gracie shifts her weight.  She has taken up residence on Pearl’s lap, at Pearl’s request.  Mom’s always a big stressor.

 “And what about the boy?  Is that personal?” Mom persists.

 “Mother.  Seriously?  It’s nothing like that.  We’re friends.”

 “Friends,” she says this like it’s a dirty word.  “You’re not sixteen anymore, Pearl.”

 “Yes, I’m aware,” Pearl grinds out.

 “You can’t just go shopping with a sixteen year old boy and claim he’s your friend.  People will talk.”

 “Please.  People already talk,” Pearl scoffs.

 “So why play into it?”

 Pearl stops short.  “You think this is a game?” she asks.  “That my life is a game?  That I would dare view it that way after what I’ve been through?”

 “Oh stop!  You’re always so dramatic!  And don’t think I didn’t notice that you changed the subject.  What about the boy?”

 “I told you.  We’re friends.  That’s it,” Pearl insists.  There’s no way she’s gonna ask Mom about Jesus now that she’s been talking to Gladys.  She wasn’t going to anyway, but talking to Gladys just really sealed it.  “I can’t talk now, Mom, I need to go.”

 Before her mom can respond, Pearl’s hung up and searching for Pav online.  They don’t usually talk at night, but Pearl has to vent to somebody, and her mom is right about one thing: Pearl can be Jesus’s emotional support all she wants, but Pearl can’t lean on him on good conscience.  Not the same way she might lean on a peer.

 It’s almost 9 PM, but Pav is there.  Answers on the first ring.  She looks tired, but isn’t sleeping.

 “Hey.  You okay?”

 “No.  You?” Pav answers.

 “No.”

 “Tell me,” Pav insists quietly.  “It’s easier to hear about somebody else’s life.”

 “So you know Frank’s grandson?  My mother caught word of him going with me to the grocery store yesterday and thinks it’s, like, indecent or something.”

 “People read sex into everything…  I tell my brother about you, and he thinks we’re together...”

 “She said we couldn’t be friends, but seemed to have no problem insinuating that we were something else entirely.  Something gross and totally inappropriate.  When is she gonna realize I’m not interested in that.  At all.  Ever.  Wait.  Your brother thinks we’re lesbians?”

 “Yeah.  I hate that the whole world revolves around sex…”

 “Me, too.” Pearl sighs.

 “But we are together, right?  As friends?” Pav checks.

 “Of course.  Always.  You can call me, too, you know?  If you need me…”

 “I just haven’t known what to say,” Pav admits, looking away from the camera.

 “So?  I can still be here.  We can just sit.”

 “Okay.”

 “Okay,” Pearl echoes.

 It’s silent a long time, and then, Pav speaks.  “Don’t let your Mom tell you friendships ain’t legit because they are.  You and Frank’s grandson are friends.  You are his mentor, if that’s what you wanna be.  He needs his parents to be okay about it, but you don’t need that same approval.”

 “How’d you get to be so smart about all this?” Pearl asks, wiping away a tear.

 “Surround myself with good people.” Pav says, looking right into Pearl’s eyes.

 --

 Jesus wakes up abruptly and realizes he never checked the locks.  Never checked the cabin.  What if someone’s here?

 He’s boiling now under seventy billion layers of clothing and with the heater blasting and the blankets.  He gets up and the floorboards creak under him.  

 “You okay?” Mariana asks.

 “Yeah.  Just…”  Jesus can’t quite get his breath.  The middle of the night panic hadn’t been a thing since before he started checking the locks.  

 “I’m gonna turn on a light.  Hang on.”

 Jesus blinks and covers his eyes.  Slowly, he can focus on Mariana.  “I think somebody might be here.”

 “Because you didn’t check the locks?  Mom did.  She made sure we were safe before she went to bed.”

 Jesus just looks at her, feeling desperate.  He hates this feeling.  The not knowing if someone was actually in the cabin with them or not.  Before, He had a way of sneaking around.  Coming back when Jesus least expected it.  Once, when he thought he and Isaac were safe, He actually had come back and it was the worst day ever.  Of all the things that happened to Jesus, nothing had been as bad as hearing what had been done to Isaac.

 He’s so lost in memories he almost doesn’t hear Mariana calling his name:

 “Jesus.  If you wanna check together, we can.  I’ll come with you.”

 Numbly, Jesus gets up.  He hates when the memories blindside him like this.  Because he’s not gonna be able to sleep now.  Or if he does sleep he’s gonna wake up screaming.  And that’s gonna scare the hell out of Mariana.

 The two of them steal through the cabin, trying to be totally quiet so nobody will notice and wake up.  Jesus checks the locks only once, because checking once is okay, but checking more than that is crossing the line.  Even though what they should really be doing is checking the whole cabin to make sure nobody’s in here that shouldn’t be.

 Everything’s locked.  Nothing was open.  But still.  Jesus can’t wrap his mind around how Pearl can sleep with her cabin wide open to the whole world, practically.

 Jesus and Mariana get back to Brandon and Jude’s room.  Jesus’s nose and throat are burning.  His eyes are blurry.

 Mariana just sits in front of him.  She’s tired but there are questions in her eyes that she won’t ask, because she respects him and sees him as a person.  She knows it’s hard for him not to answer when people - even family - ask him about what happened.  So, out of respect for him they don’t.  It’s his to bring up,and they’re always willing to listen if he does.

 But it’s hard to bring up anything when your heart’s breaking.

 “Ask what I’m thinking about,” he prompts softly.

 “What are you thinking about?” Mariana asks genuinely, as if the question really came from her all along, instead of needing to be vetted through him first.

 She offers a hand.  

 He opens his arms.  

 He needs more than his hand held right now.  This is so terrible.  To be dealing with this grief now.  For the first time, really.  Because for years Jude had been a walking trigger for the memory of what happened to Isaac so it was a bit like he was still alive.  Now, it’s just really obvious he’s not.  They never should have met.  Jesus shouldn’t have intervened.  That way, maybe, Isaac could still be alive.

 Mariana hugs him, just as easily as she talks to him.  There is no hesitation.  Nothing feels weird with them.  He tries to blink back the tears but they just keep coming.  “My friend…” he whispers.  “I’m thinking about my friend.”

 She squeezes.  It means okay.  It means I hear you.  It means I’ve got you.  It means I’m here.

 Jesus has talked about Isaac a bunch in therapy, but mostly only there.  No one in his family knows details about the boy he got to know when both were living in hell.  He knows about survivor’s guilt.  Knows that’s what he’s feeling.  But it doesn’t change how he’s feeling.

 “I had this friend.  Before,” Jesus confides in whispers.  “He got taken after me.  And we were like family to each other.  But…I got the idea we could run, and I helped him escape, but we were so busy we didn’t hear...the door opened upstairs.  So, it makes me nervous to not know who’s here.  And I also feel like crap because I feel like it’s my fault my friend isn’t here.”

 “Your friend…  I didn’t know him...but I don’t think he blames you.  Friends don’t do that.  Family doesn’t do that.”

 “The last thing he did was see snow.  And I thought...maybe if I came here, and saw it, too…  It would be like we were together.  But I just feel so damn lonely, Mariana.  Because he should be here.  But he’s not ‘cause I screwed up.”

 “Hey.  Listen to me.  You did not hurt your friend.  You tried to help.  Just like he would have done for you if the situation had been reversed.  Right?”

 “He said it was on me,” Jesus manages.

 “Your friend?” Mariana whispers, shocked.

 “No.  Him.”  Jesus wills her to understand the distinction.

 “Well, yeah.  He probably would do that, okay?  Because He’s the actual worst.  He did those bad things, okay?  Not you.  You did good things because you’re good.  You tried to help.”

 Jesus has got to hand it to Mariana.  She’s really trying.  But it’s just not getting in.  It doesn’t matter what she says because he already knows the truth.  Isaac’s mom can’t have him back ever again because Jesus screwed up.

 “Trying isn’t good enough,” he breathes, remembering Mom’s words from earlier this week.  He did it when he knew better.  He’s so stupid.

 “You need Mama?” she wonders.  

 As far as Jesus knows, Moms have steered clear since he froze his ass off in the shower, since that stuff makes him feel epically vulnerable.  But right about now, he really does need her.  The thing is, he shouldn’t get to have his mom.  Especially since Isaac can’t have his.

 Mariana studies him and nods.  “Yeah.  Okay, come on.  We’ll go together.  Can I tell her what’s up or do you want to?”

 “You,” he manages.

 They slip downstairs again, and Mariana doesn’t even hesitate at knocking on Moms’ door.  Mom gets it.

 “What is it, guys?”

 “Jesus needs Mama,” Mariana insists softly.

 In seconds, she’s here at the door, and leading them out to the living room where they all stand.  Mariana whispers to Mama and squeezes his hand, then she walks back upstairs.

 Mama’s in front of him now.  In the light of one lamp from the living room.  She’s so tired too, obviously, but she showed up for him.  Now, she just stands here, with so much compassion in her eyes.

 He looks back.  Swallows.  Crosses his arms.

 “Can I hold you, bud?” she asks, finally.

 But Jesus can’t respond to that.  Doesn’t deserve that.  Tears are here.  He’s shaking.  It’s so embarrassing, but he can’t stop.  Luckily he’s not loud, so everybody else can keep sleeping.  He shakes his head no.

 “What can I do?”

 “Nothing,” he gasps.  “I’ll be fine.”

 But he’s not, obviously.

 When she extends a hand, he jerks back.  “I don’t deserve it…” he manages.  “I’m awful.”

 “You are not awful.  You’re my son.  You deserve respect and compassion and comfort.”

 “You don’t know what happened…” he breathes, voice breaking.  

 “Your friend?  Isaac?  What happened to him was not your fault.  No matter what you were told.  Do you remember how when you came home, you were confused that we were still looking for you because of lies He told you?  Do you remember how He called you dumb when you are very smart?  He lied about everything.  He lied about this, too, honey.  I need you to believe me.  You are not to blame.”

 “It’s not fair,” Jesus sniffs.

 “No, it’s not.  You boys should all be home with your parents right now, and He took that away from your friend.  Because He didn’t see you as people.  But you are, Jesus.  And Isaac was, too.  I can’t imagine how painful this is for you, and I’d really like to hold onto you to comfort you.”

 “I don’t deserve you.  Or this.  Or anything.”

 “You do deserve me.  And you deserve to be talked to.  And held when you hurt.  May I please, honey?  I can see you’re upset.”

 “Fine,” his voice cuts out.

 “Yes?” she checks.

 “Yes…” he whispers.

 Her arms come around him and Jesus can feel his knees get weak.  Mama comes down with him.  She never lets go.  Just holds him.  

 Jesus feels like he’s broken into pieces.

 But he has no doubt that in Mama’s arms she has all of him with her.  And she’s just waiting until he can start to heal.

 This, Jesus knows, is just the beginning.

[onlyjihoons]

boyfriend!jaemin pt2

@nananavivienne :  hi mgirl!! if you're taking requests, could you do a boyfriend! jaemin one? i fjkbiabh loved your hyuck one uM i felt personally attacked reading that????

thank you for requesting omg and also for liking my hyuck bf!au im rlly touched aHHHH❤💕💖

so i did a bf!jaemin the last time around and i said that i would do a part 2 so here it is! i do suggest reading the first one first so you can get the hang of what i’m babbling about here hehe

and it has been raining since last night, and the weather rn is super comfy i want to sleep ugh 

hi friends 

we are back w a part 2 of bf!jaemin

shall we start

ok let’s go

so

you and jaemin have been together for like, let’s say, 100 days?

and on friday it was the day of your dance recital and 100 days anniversary

so jaemin wanted to surprise u w lots of things

bc you have been there when he was feeling stressed about debuting etc

but his wallet restricts him from doing so

he specially requested to become the emcee of your dance recital

no doubt all of his fangirls were so hyped bc they could see their oppa on stage

but this oppa is alr yours so they felt stumped but nonetheless excited

yo and get ready for lots of mushy and fluffy stuff so:

bare with me friends

so on that day jaemin would introduce himself (duh)

and all his fangirls were screeching

rip jeno was seated beside them

“to celebrate the eve of seollal, we have our school’s dance majors performing this morning!please put your hands together to welcome them!”

and being a ballet major aka me

ya’ll did a ballet/classical version of Secret by WJSN

its rlly short and ngl you had to rush to backstage to change to the street dance outfit

so jaemin spotted you running to backstage to change and 

gif:

“babe!!!!!!” -clingy jaemin

“why are you like this omg”

“happy 100th babe ;-)”

ngl it totally slipped your mind that it was your 100th day anniversary

“omg im so sorry i totally forgot,, happy 100th to you too oppa!”

and you planted a quick peck on his lips and ran off to go and change cause damn jaemin made you late

as soon as you ran off he was bLuShInG

but its ok bc it was one of the rare times you initiated skinship awh

and after the performance emcee jaemin wrapped up with a very special ending ment

“today is y/n and i’s 100th day anniversary, this might come as a shock to all of us but please give y/n lots of love as much as i do”

gif:

pls don’t kill me

then everybody was cheering and stuff

including the teachers

YOU GUYS ARE COUPLE GOALS TBVH

mark lowkey cried

ok and after the whole fiasco you went backstage and everyone were cheering for you and jaemin

and you hid your face in jaemin’s chest blushing so so hard

yo and he made it worse by holding you closer and burying his head next to yours

save me

after school jaemin brought you to eat

bc eating churros on your 100th anniversary why not

and jaemin followed you home after that

you didn’t know why so you pressed him,

“did you do something wrong, oppa?”

“no”

“then why are you following me all the way back home?”

“because i want to let your parents know that we’re dating”

with that you turned the opposite way

“are you crazy?! my parents don’t want me to date till i’m older! what’s more they will force you to break up with me since it might create scandals with your idol life!”

jaemin’s kind looks dissipated and frowned,

“so you don’t want to be my girlfriend anymore? because of my idol status?”

“n-no..”

“is it because of the hate? y/n! i have told you countless times that i will bear the consequences and no matter what we will be in this together!”

you had nothing to say and you let tears stream down your face

“i thought you would trust me, y/n. i guess not.”

with that he walked off into the distance

ngl you broke down immediately on the staircase of your home 

and you didn’t know how to react

jaemin was not having it nice either

he was holding in his emotions all the way back to his dorm

and when he came back mark sensed it immediately

“jaemin-ah! how was-”

*slam*

mark tried knocking on jaemin’s door several times but to no avail

when jaemin heard mark’s footsteps go away he immediately burst into tears

for an hour or so

then the door opened

it was his roommate, jeno

“what happened?”

“nothing”

“is it regarding y/n?”

and jaemin burst into tears again

his best friend patted him on the back and comforted him many times

basically jaemin and you cried yourselves to sleep

the next day nct dream were excused from school for practice

as soon as jaemin stepped on his hoverboard he felt a sharp pain on his spine

and the usually good jaemin fell off his hoverboard a few times

mark was legit concerned so he alerted his manager 

and he went to the hospital

turns out jaemin had a herniated disc 

luckily sm let him rest and get treated in the hospital

tbh the news spread fast and soon everyone in class were gossiping 

you had no idea why as you tried to call jaemin countless times but he didn’t pick up

and your bff was like

“y/n! did you know what happened to jaemin sunbaenim?”

“uhh no, we kinda fought yesterday”

“he had a herniated disc and he’s in the hospital now”

you literally dropped your books and whipped your phone out of your uniform pocket

“nct dream’s jaemin will not be attending any activities due to his herniated disc”

you literally speed dialed chenle who wasn’t in school

“hello-”

“cHENLE! WHERE IS U”

“woah chill y/n, i’m at practice rn”

“where is jaemin oppa?!?!?”

“he’s at the dorm-”

“DON’T YOU DARE LIE TO ME ZHONG CHENLE TELL ME WHICH HOSPITAL HE IS AT RIGHT NOW 现在，立刻，马上！(now, immediately, right now)”

i’m having the chinese feels rn 

“wow okay y/n i didn’t know you could speak chinese-”

“just tell me or i will skin you alive when i see you”

“okay okay chill he’s at dongdaemun hospital.”

“good ok i love you chenle have a nice day bye”

with that you literally rushed out of school to board a taxi to the hospital

and wow it was snowing and it created traffic

ngl you were super anxious 

and super sorry 

when you reached you bolted out of the taxi and into the hospital

“excuse me may i know which is na jaemin ward?”

“i’m sorry miss, i’m not able to disclose our patient’s personal information-”

“i’m his girlfriend, y/n. please tell me where he is. please.”

“ah y/n! please follow me”

and so you followed the nurse to the swanky part of the hospital

like the vip wards

“jaemin-ssi has been asking for you ever since he has been warded, but please be reminded he is not allowed to move okay?”

you thanked the nurse and entered the ward nervously

“oppa?”

jaemin’s eyes flickered open from his slumber and he was shocked

“y-y/n...”

jaemin was seated upright due to his spine

seeing jaemin in the helpless state made you cry

and you broke down immediately

“y/n! why are you crying?did i do something wrong?”

you just walk over to his bedside and burried your head in his hands and cried

“i’m so sorry if i made you doubt yourself oppa, i have been a really bad girlfriend”

jaemin just smiled and shook his head,

“its okay babe, stop crying. i’m fine now you see?”

as you continued crying jaemin dusted the snow off your puffy jacket and slowly help you take it off

when he saw your uniform underneath he gasped,

“babe!why aren’t you in school?”

“i literally rushed here when i heard the news, and i might have scared chenle a little...”

“you threatened him, did you?

“how did you know?”

gif:

“wow ok”

“what did you do?”

“i said that i will skin him alive if he doesn’t tell me where you were...”

jaemin laughed so hard his sides hurt omg

fastforward 2 months later

you wee in the nct dorms to take care of jaemin after school

bc he’s a literal baby that can’t take care of himself

its actually bc he wanted to see you cook

“baaaaabeeeeee”

“hmm”

“i miss you so much”

“i literally left your side a minute ago”

and you began to whip up some simple dishes

like ramen and sausage and egg

idk and curry too

once you were done you called jaemin over to eat or he would starve to death

“i won’t move unless you give me a kiss”

sneaky

you complied bc injured jaemin is super whiny

when your lips were about to touch jaemin flipped you over to his side

gif:

i shall end it here before i faint

i hope you like it my friends

thank you for reading✨♥

have a nice day/night!

[cremebubble]

au revoir, 2018.

it’s been a while, isn’t it?

to me, 2018 went by so fast. i almost can’t believe that this is the first day of a new year already. last year was... tough. but i have a lot to be thankful for.

2018 was the first year of me going back to jogja with no burden. i came back to settle things with my graduation - the administration, and everything. it was nice, going back there without depressing over thesis, fam. really.

2018 was also the year when i graduated. it still feels like it was yesterday; me geared up in the end of 2017 for thesis defense and did it well. and i came back to balikpapan for good, with title in hand. it felt really, really good.

2018 was the year of goodbyes. it was good going back home, but that also means i have to say goodbye to my friends in jogja and i sincerely never like the idea of it. for 2 years+ we’ve shared so many precious memories together, but that’s just life. at some point, every meeting has to end with goodbye. this was also the year i have to cut people from my life, for good. and for this, i can only say, i’m tired of having the same old disappointment. first cut is the deepest, honey, but we’ll survive.

2018 was the year of firsts. it was my first time applying for a legit job. it was my first time going on interviews. it was my first time scoring my first job. it was my first time getting a paycheck (which i spent with buying boxes of brownies for my brother because he craved for it). these firsts has taught me a lot of things, that working ain’t easy - the whole concept of adulting is very very tiring, and tough.

2018 was the year of appreciation. i still can’t wrap my head around the fact that in a way, i have become a lecturer. i have students looking up to me. i’m so so grateful for my students, that’s for sure. i always have this insecurity about “can i actually do this? am i actually suitable to be someone like this?” - but my students help me ways that are too beautiful to me. it’s nice to know that every effort that i have done is appreciated. it’s nice to hear my students saying that i’m kind, and that i teach well, and that i’m the best teacher/lecturer that they have - and these are no exaggeration because i do see how they are so enthusiastic, day by day. i feel like i can do anything, just as long as i put my heart and soul into it. i feel like no effort will go unappreciated.

2018 was the year that i learned of how vulnerable i can be. however, i learned to appreciate my life even more. i can’t tell how crazy it was, to have people out there want to end you for good... it’s just insane. it was crazy to witness how i could be a depressed wreck in a second. if it wasn’t with the help of my family, wanda, and maria, i don’t know how massive of a mess i would end up to be.

2018 was the year of disappointment, but of warm embraces. my family has struggled a lot. we’ve been through a great deal of disappointment last year, but i’ve never felt like i had a weak support system. we held hands and we tried tackling things together. we’re still struggling, though, but i’m sure we’ll only see rainbow by the end of this journey.

2018 was the year of gratitude. i grew a lot this year, spiritually. i can say i’ve never felt so close to god. i’m so grateful that i confidently can say i have witnessed the almighty works in my life with ways that i can’t explain. i have learned to constantly give thanks to whatever god has given to me. it’s the small thanks that matters; like thanking god of how today you had decent meals, or that you didn’t feel sick the entire day, also how he kept you safe on your journey from home to your workplace, and a lot more.

2018 was the year of going to bed crying in prayers. i had to deal with revelations too big for my soul to carry... but do i have a choice? i don’t. i still cry every time i pray. or sometimes when i’m alone, thinking, i cry too. i constantly think of scenarios of how things will go if this and that happens... and up until this moment, as i write this down, i can say i’m not ready. i will never be ready. and i think i will still cry in my night prayers..

2018 was the year of making peace with myself. i have learned that no matter how beautiful the plans i have for myself are, maybe god has another plan. so i have to give myself a rest, knowing that i did the best that i could. that doesn’t mean i have to stop trying, because i don’t. at least i have a peace of mind already, and i will continue on working to be the best version of me, to be someone i can be proud of.

2018 was the year of loss. my grandma passed away right after christmas. but i’m so proud of how everyone in my family stood tall in her funeral. only a little tears were shed, we know that it’s for the best. she’s already happy, she doesn’t feel any pain anymore. we didn’t send her away with grief, but with hope. 

2018 was a lot more.

i’m not ready, i’ll never be ready for days to come. however, i’ll try to live everyday without regrets. i’ll try to own up to whatever the decision that i have made.

i promise, i’ll be stronger.

hello, 2019. nice meeting you.