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citydreamgrls · 4 years ago

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the empty diary - part one

fred weasley x fem!reader

summary: it had appeared out of the blue, a diary that contained an odd power, one which would backfire and reveal her true feelings to the one she wished to hide it from most.

an: this is the first part in a new mini-series, i hope you all enjoy !!

words: 4,051

warnings: smut in later parts

The book had appeared on top of her cases when the girl had arrived in her dorm the previous day, its crimson red cover sticking out amongst the dark wood trunks. It had been a small surprise, the pages between all empty to her eyes as she scanned through it quickly. But something had drawn her to the mysterious object as she felt the leather slip between her fingers as if it was somewhat familiar.

Since it was empty, and there was no one who was asking after a lost diary, the girl decided to use it as just that. Spending most evenings of the first few weeks back at Hogwarts hiding herself away to spill out those nagging thoughts; thoughts that she’d never before had the idea to write down.

Most days she could time it so that Hermione was busy helping Ron with transfiguration work and not sitting around watching her write furiously, doing her best to not interrupt. As much as she trusted Hermione, she knew how curious her best friend could be at times and wanted to keep this one thing private for as long as she could manage.

It wasn’t long, however, as she’d imagined.

“y/n-” Hermione had burst into the room, catching the girl off guard, who had learnt to zone out all noises while she wrote. Which meant she hadn’t noticed the rushed footsteps pounding up the stone steps to their room before it was too late. “What’s that?”

The girl did her best to act casual, her little desk which she was sitting at normally gathering dust, and slid the book beneath some forgotten homework from last year.

“Oh… nothing.” She panicked, and blurted out, knowing full well that no excuse would satisfy Hermione’s interest more than the truth.

“Show me,” A hand reached past her, pushing papers away to reveal the red leather standing out amongst the white sheets.

“It’s really- Hermione!”

No amount of body blocking could have stopped the girl’s friend when she was determined, regardless of how much she tried; Hermione was a surprisingly strong girl.

“Stop it!” Y/n cried out, laughing when she felt the girl hovering over her reach down to tickle her. Grinning at the way she crumbled beneath the feeling, whining out about foul play.

Hermione’s hands had already grasped the book, frowning at its blank cover and holding it heavy in her hands. The other girl, now released from the temporary torture of tickling, stood beside her friend and tried one last time to reclaim her new diary.

It, in a clumsy turn of events, fell to the floor. The pages audibly flicking through themselves, as they watched it cascade to the ground as it was slower than time.

Y/n silently prayed, begged and wished that it would land with the covers closed over her intimate thoughts, fearful of how the girl beside her would react to something so personal. But as two pages laid out before them both, and the girl held her breath, it seemed as if fate heard her call as the pair stared down to see a blank response.

She let out a little breath, forgetting that she needed to reclaim the book before Hermione got a chance. The girl in question, however, seemed confused by the book before her.

“What?” Y/n scoffed, following her eyes to see what had made her speechless in the last ten seconds or so. Joining the silence as their jaws dropped agape at the sight before them both.

“Am I going mad?” Hermione asked, seeing the ink appear slowly on the once empty page, words coming into view in the form of sentences y/n had curated herself only moments before her friend had burst into the room. She just shook her head at the empty question, too amazed by what they were witnessing to bother talking.

Shaking hands reached for it, worried it may combust between her fingers as the girl held it tenderly. Hermione’s name was printed in bold amongst the rest of the words, something she herself hadn’t done.

“Did you write about me?”

“Only good things,” She smiled, trying to avoid her prying eyes, but it was no use.

“I think it’s been charmed… but by who.”

There was a silence between the two girls as their mind’s whirred for a moment, the faint echo of passing owls sounding amongst their breaths. Y/n was close to a scream when Hermione lunged towards her, taking the book from her and throwing it onto the bed with a panicked look, a thought having plagued her mind suddenly.

“We shouldn’t trust it, not after what happened to Ginny in second year.”

“Oh come on Mione, you-know-who isn’t going to try the same trick twice.”

“Well, where did you find it then?” She demanded to know, her hands resting all too comfortably on her hips like an angry mother.

“It was just… onmycases.” The girl mumbled, now understanding where the hesitance was coming from.

“Where y/n?” Her voice was stern.

“On my case, it was just laying there for me.”

“Well then we definitely can't trust it!”

“I’ve had it for weeks already, and still nothing bad has happened, I think I'm safe.” A laugh sounded from her mouth, more to reassure herself as she picked it up again, the leather still feeling natural between her skin.

Her friend didn’t seemed convinced and took it from her yet again, making y/n groan out in annoyance as Hermione paced the room, trying to study it for herself.

“Give it back Mione!”

“I just want to try something-” “It’s private!” “I’m not interested in your crushes y/n,” She scoffed, but noticed the entry she had dedicated to how good Oliver Wood had looked at the first quidditch practice.

“Oh come on it’s not a crush- what are you doing?”

Hermione held her wand out, muttering as many spells as she could think of to try and reveal the whole book to her, having noticed the stray empty pages between entries.

“I wrote on those, what’s it doing?” The girl asked, peering over her friend's shoulder as she refused to stop walking round their dorm.

“I think it’s charmed to the reader, here, you hold it.” “Well, it’s not like it’s mine or anything.” She huffed, finally taking it back and flicking between pages. Where Hermione had seen blanks, she watched the words reappear. “See, now it’s coming back.” “Not for me, that one’s still blank.” Her friend furrowed her brow, thinking intently as the girl placed the book back down on her pokey desk.

“I think it’s been charmed so that whoever reads it only sees entries in which they’re mentioned. You can see all of them because you wrote them, but I could only see the ones which you had written me into.” Her brain spilled out this theory so confidently that all y/n could do was nod in agreement, seeing no flaws to what she was stating.

“That seems, risky, right?” She offered up, unsure of what else to say.

“Very, but somewhat safer than muggle diaries at least.” Hermione giggled, laying back with a sigh. “I only came up for a textbook, but it seems like Ron’s troubles are nowhere near as interesting as this is.”

“I’m glad I can at least entertain,” The girl rolled her eyes, “Hey, maybe we should test this out a bit more.”

“That way we can know whether what I think is right, great idea!” Hermione seemed excited at the prospect of an experiment, regardless of how mundane or easy it was.

“We can use Ron and Harry!”

The two girls peered around a bookcase, spotting the redhead and four eyes struggling to think of an original thought between them as they waited for Hermione to return. She rolled her eyes, knowing they’d get nothing done without her.

“Give it here,” Y/n took the red book from her friend, spotting how possessive they’d both become of it.

“I was keeping it safe for you, this could be bad in the wrong hands y/n,” She hissed, not wanting to draw the boys’ attention until they were ready. “Now, write Ron’s name in here and Harry’s on another page. That way we can see which one they can see when holding the book.” The top student explained simply, the girl beside her just nodding as she scribbled quickly, their sneaky stances now garnering a bit of attention around them.

“Done. Let’s try it out.” She smiled, holding the book amongst others she’d brought down with her, hiding their plan behind the lie of another outstanding essay to complete.

“Finally!” Ron huffed, seeing the girls arrive after enough time waiting.

“Well, if you actually listened to Mcgonnagall during class then you wouldn’t need to wait for me to come and hold your hand.” Hermione snapped, taking her seat beside the boy as y/n joined Harry.

He seemed unfazed by the bright red leather slipped between her plain school books as she placed them down, he was too preoccupied by a girl making eyes at him from across the library.

“I just don’t get why I need to know all this, I don’t even want to take Transfiguration next year so it doesn’t matter, it’s a waste of time.” Ron was groaning as Hermione watched her pull out the diary subtly, sighing and flicking open the pages. She hushed the boy beside her as y/n began further writing next to his name, he watched her with a scowl before she held up the page to him.

Ron, Mcgonnagall’s in here you git! Be quiet.

“Is she, oh bloody hell.” He put his head down after reading the words she’d written out for him, Hermione nodding to her when she hadn’t been able to see it herself. It was a lie of course, the Professor’s very rarely spent time in the library, and Ron probably knew it deep down, but it was enough to prove that their theory was right. The girl’s friend stared at Harry, who was still distracted from the rest of them, signalling that she should still try it with him.

Harry, is she your new girlfriend? ;)

She wrote, sliding the message over to him, and nudging his side with a giggle. It made the dark haired boy blush but still he scoffed and denied that he’d been making eyes at anyone. Ron had seen the quiet exchange and frowned, seeing a blank page from his point of view.

“Was there anything on there?” He whispered to Hermione, who dismissed his question with a sigh and quickly changed the subject to keep their little secret.

The two girls sat awake on their beds that evening, having proven the true powers of y/n’s diary and agreed that something this simple was unlikely to be dark magic. They had tested as many spells on it to show if it was capable of more, but it seemed that hiding irrelevant entries was all it could do.

“You should keep a locking spell on it, and probably keep it safe, if someone managed to get it open that would be awful.”

“Who do you think would be the worst person.” Y/n inquired, her brain worn out from all the possibilities she’d run through.

“Oliver Wood.” Hermione teased.

“Shut up! I don’t like him.”

“There’s someone though, right? I saw some words about a boy.”

“Not really.”

“It seemed like you were interested in them.” She let out a small laugh in the dimly lit room at her friend’s blatant lie, knowing that when she liked someone she would deny it for the rest of her life until she too believed it not to be true. “It’s not a bad thing to like someone.”

Hermione did her best to reassure her friend, but the girl seemed caught in her thoughts as they welcomed the silence between them, her wand spinning between her fingers mindlessly. She decided to drop it, seeing how uncomfortable it had made her, but surprisingly it was y/n who spoke up.

“I don’t think they would feel the same way, that’s all.” Her voice was quiet, and reserved. A world apart from how she usually acted around her best friend.

“Who is it?” Hermione asked, seeing the hesitance on the girl’s face as she thought about how to answer.

“You really cannot tell a soul, I mean this.”

“I promise y/n, no one will know.” She placed her hands into the girl’s, squeezing tight to try and relax her as best as she could.

“Okay, well, it’s nothing big it’s just an interest that’s it. And really, I’m not too sure about it myself.”

“Okay, go on.”

A few days passed, with Hermione and y/n successfully keeping the diary a secret between them. Not that Ron and Harry would have ever been that bothered by it, or its powers, at all.

It was yet another night spent studying in the library when things went wrong. The girl had been there for a good few hours now, her diligent friend always one to motivate her whenever she needed it. The diary had been forgotten amongst her other books, its locking spell casted safely over it.

Still, that spell wasn’t completely safe and they had done all they could to strengthen it, but someone would most likely be able to crack it open after some research into counter spells.

They had chosen a small table by the windows, the beginnings of a storm crashing against the glass as hushed voices floated around the large room. It was private, and not many people seemed to pass by, so when Hermione went to find yet another book to help with her latest essay, the girl decided it would be a chance to write in the red bound book for a little while.

She held her wand and whispered the words to open it up to her, its pages flittering to the next empty piece of paper within. The quill in her hand danced around as she wrote all about her day, about the storm, about the people in her classes and about the boy she was learning to like with every second spent in his presence.

Beyond the castle walls the wind blustered against the stone, the howls tunneling through the hallways and creating a small breeze at her feet. She shivered, ignoring the cold as best she could and focused instead on the words she wrote.

“God that rain sounds awful!” A voice boomed nearby, dragging her away from her thoughts hurriedly.

“Do you think quidditch will be cancelled?” Another droned on, obviously annoyed at this prospect. She recognised the twins immediately as their footsteps reached her side.

“I hope not- oh y/n you’re still here?” George asked as they both stopped. She shut the book quickly, looking up from where she sat to smile politely. Both boys towered above her as they stood with hands in their pockets.

“We saw you earlier with Hermione, but you looked busy so we didn’t dare interrupt.” Fred laughed lightly, peering over at her work beside her. “You got much to do?”

“Uh not too much, Hermione is here somewhere but she’s-” “Off being a goody two shoes?” Fred teased.

“Hey, that’s mean.”

“Sorry, I should have included both of you in that statement.”

The girl had wondered how long it would take for the twins to start annoying her again, their greatest pleasure in life was seeing someone bothered by them and that never excluded herself.

“At least I don’t fly around like a maniac every other night,” She huffed.

“Hey, quidditch is very respected.” George snapped back.

“Yeah, for teenage boys that is.” She scoffed, ignoring their grimaces and pulling out her potions book.

“Yeah well-” Fred was cut off by the sound of glass smashing somewhere else in the library, the storm from outside flying in with no regard for the panicked students. Screams sounded out as more and more windows caved into the growing pressure, and the girl stood up to see if she could spot Hermione amongst them.

“We need to go!” George cried out to his brother, who grabbed the girl’s arm. She took it back, needing to find Hermione first before getting out.

“Y/n!” Her friend called out over the howls of wind, appearing from behind a stack of books and taking her friend’s hand. “Come on!” She dragged her away from the table.

“Wait, what about-” SHe started, remembering the red diary laying unprotected on the table. She hadn’t had time to cast the spell over it, and now as they ran through the small crowd of students she had no chance to turn back.

“Y/n come on!” Fred yanked on her arm again, giving her no option but to follow as he overpowered her protests easily.

They weren’t allowed back in until the next afternoon, once the room had been cleared of smashed glass, and the windows were repaired. It was quiet now, the storm having been and gone, and the sun shone in calmly as if nothing had happened.

“Over here, this was where we were yes?” Hermione asked, spotting her pile of textbooks stacked neatly on their table. A few pages had been ripped at the edges, and she could see obvious signs of water damage. But mostly, it was salvageable.

“I can’t find it!” Y/n said, rushing to shove everything out of the way. The diary was nowhere to be found.

“It’ll be here, just keep looking.”

The girl threw herself to the ground, crawling beneath the table where she’d had it last and looking in all the dark corners. But no matter where she looked, the red leather was missing.

“I’ll go ask Madame Pince, she may have picked it up if it looked important.” Hermione told her friend as she slumped into the chair, her head falling between her hands in despair.

It was open, unlocked for anyone to look inside. Whoever had it may not be able to read anything, but if it got passed around to someone mentioned then it was over. The girl collected the things that had been left in the midst of the storm and remembered how adamant the twins had been to get her out, especially Fred.

They could have easily taken it while she was distracted looking for Hermione, not to mention that they would revel in knowing her every secret. But that was the last thing she wanted to believe, as it would mean she would need to drown herself in the black lake out of embarrassment.

Since she learnt of the diary’s power, she had been careful not to mention him by name, knowing that it would immediately reveal itself to him if found. But, what about the ones before when his name was repeated over and over, when she wasn’t sure why she felt the need to write about him, or her feelings towards him. It just felt right.

Now, it was all wrong. What if there was more, what if the power stretched to intention too. If it knew that the person reading it was being written about, without blatantly stating their name, would that mean it would still reveal itself. She hated that her and Hermione hadn’t thought of this idea until now, when it was too late.

“It has to be the twins!” Y/n stated, when her friend returned from the librarian’s office empty handed, her eyes wide and determined.

“You really think so?” “Who else would want to have that kind of upper hand over someone?” “It would be their best prank this term, even if it’s a bit cruel.”

“We need to get it back! Remember what I said the other night, all of that could be unveiled if they are the ones who have it.” She urged, getting to her feet in an instant, forgetting all the things they needed to carry back to their dorms and storming out of the library.

Fred would have recognised the red cover from a mile away, it had been clutched between the girl’s hands for weeks now, obviously full of secrets since she felt the need to cast a locking spell on it. She thought she had been subtle about it, but he had seen her do it every time she closed it in the great hall or the common room.

But it wasn’t in her hands, it was poking out of a pile of books a random second year boy was carrying. He frowned, leaving George’s side to follow the Ravenclaw boy round the corner and down an empty hall.

“Hey!” He called out, making the younger boy jump in surprise. “Is that yours?” He pointed to the book in his arms, making his eyes widen in fear at the tall redhead. Everyone knew who they were, but they were always known for being easygoing. Now his stern tone instilled fear in the boy’s face as he got closer. He shook his head, the red book falling as he scrambled away in a panic, not wanting to stick around to find out what Fred would do if he found out it was stolen during the storm.

“Little bugger.” Fred mumbled, picking it up and seeing the page that it had fallen open onto. He could hear footsteps running after him and quickly shoved the book into his robes, turning just in time to see his brother turn the corner with a look of confusion on his face.

“What was that all about?” He asked.

“Oh, nothing. I just thought I saw something…” Fred trailed off, quickly losing George’s interest.

“God, anyone would think you’re going mental.”

Maybe he was. Racing after someone over a diary that wasn’t even his, but he had seen the unmistakable scrawling’s of y/n’s writing. Then his name, as clear as day.

Fred waited until everyone in his dorm fell asleep before taking out the diary, casting a quiet lumos spell and slipping beneath the covers to secretly read what was inside. He started with the first entry, his name appearing first before the other words faded into view.

Dear Diary,

Maybe I’m going mad, or someone has cursed me to think this way, but something feels different about Fred Weasley. For the first time in years I can definitively tell that it is him when he’s stood beside his brother, instead of having to guess like I used to. It’s like I can finally pick him out in a room, when before he just blended into everyone else, yet when I see him he’s just getting on with his life and doing nothing special.

He’s taller than he used to be, and he smiles more, and his voice is deeper than I realised. But maybe these are all things that I’m just noticing now, because I want to know more. Everything about him makes me want to know more, and I can’t explain why, it’s pure curiosity.

Now when he talks to me, the same way he has done for years, I feel excited and nervous and all these other emotions I wouldn’t have expected to relate to Fred. It’s as if I see him as a new person, like we’ve just met… properly.

Maybe I am going mad, or maybe this is all a prank to him to make me feel this way, but until I fix it I will just have to live with it. I’m hoping writing it down may help hide how I feel from him, for a little while.

Fred’s eyes read fast, each word dragging him in deeper and deeper into her mind, as if he could see every thought as it was produced. He read it over and over, slowly and carefully, to make sure what he had seen was true.

He could never show anyone this, that would crush her, but he enjoyed this little secret. The boy liked knowing that she saw him differently to all the other boys in her life, but what made him the happiest was that he was the only one to know what she was thinking.

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burgerkang000 · 4 years ago

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Serve an ace through my heart

this is a Jongho fic and its pretty long so I'm gonna do the read more thing

@beyoncesdragon @aixy-hpsa(if anyone else wanna be tagged pls tell me!!!)

tumblr i hate u, u keep on eating my spaces TT-TT

Being out of your comfort zone; nobody likes that. For you, you never really got around into being comfortable with, well, a lot of things. And you never really saw what was wrong with that. You hear your friends talking about how they were dragged into doing things they never wanted to do, and they either end up loving it or hating it.

It wasn’t like you were entitled to sort out the uneasiness.

Right now, the uneasiness you felt towards playing volleyball is an example of something you didn’t want to sort out.

But the volleyball team was lacking, and the captain was looking for new players and training them separately, until their ready to join the team.

And you must have checked all the boxes for ‘volleyball player’, because the captain has been constantly nagging you to at least try it out.

And in a moment of fury, you had said no, you’re not interested, you’re afraid and uncomfortable.

And even though looking back on it, you felt that you were a bit harsh, but even so, you had thought that he was done bothering you.

But the next day Choi Jongho; the guy you spend YEARS pining comes up to you. And that’s new, because you’re sure he doesn’t know of your existence, and he says-

“Sometimes you have to do things that make you uncomfortable to actually like it”

And you don’t understand; you gape at him for what feels like centuries, as you haven’t caught on yet; for fucks sake the guy hasn’t even said hello.

And he sighs, as if he’s done with people not understanding him, and you blame exactly him for that because of the cryptic way he speaks, he could speak Morse code and you’d understand him better; and he begins to explain, as if that’s the most draining thing in the world.

And you think that this guy is getting less and less charming the more he opens his mouth (That is a lie).

“Play volleyball with us, join the team, you fit the qualities to be one, and its actually fun- not easy- but fun; and about the uncomfortable thing, sometimes you just need to get past the feeling, and then you can actually feel , once the cloud of poor judgement is out of your system.”

And he said a lot of things, he did, but somehow the moment you actually stop and say something you HAD to say-

“I have poor judgement?” and you blink up at him.

And let’s be honest here- scary looking, kind of jerk face, jock, probably bullied into asking you to join the volleyball team; totally would have said something along the lines of ‘of course, what do you expect your judgement to be? Reliable?’

But Jongho looked taken aback, sort of offended that you thought of him as lowly, as he aggressively shakes his head.

“I meant the being uncomfortable; it makes your judgement poor, and I would never say that, what kind of person do you take me to be?”

And you sigh and rub you’re temple. You can’t believe the fact that you’re actually considering this. It’s like the captain knows about your massive crush and is totally using it against you.

“I – well I – I’m not sure if I’ll like it.” You reply, fidgeting with the watch that has been strapped on your wrist.

HE sighs yet again (AGAIN) and says-

“Well, you’ll never know if you won’t try, I can give you a test run if you’d like.”

“Well uhh-“

“There are no girls on the team; we genuinely want people who think that girls can’t make it onto the team to change their mind-set.”

OK if anything can convince you, its woman empowerment, so you nod, and try to convince yourself that this is you’re part of showing support; and that watching hot sweaty guys (read: Choi Jongho) play volleyball was just a plus side.

“Great, tomorrow, Gym, after school.”

And he leaves.

Where does he think he is in? High school musical?

“Tomorrow, Gym, after school” you mimic as you resume packing your stuff.

The school was empty and it was something you haven’t experienced before, other than the club people there was pin drop silence in the corridors, when you passed by the basketball court you could hear the aggressive squeaking and bouncing.

You had never really stayed behind after school, except that one time your whole class had failed on a test and all of you had to stay back for extra classes. But it was noisy then.

When you entered the gym, you spot Jongho and the captain talking. And once the captain notices you he smirks. The captain is evil, you think.

“So I thought you weren’t joining?” He asks as he walks up to you.

You angrily mutter-

“Well, yeah, I’m here to watch”

You realise that you don’t know the captains name.

The captain chuckles and as he’s walking past you, you grab his arm and ask him.

“I didn’t get your name…”

“I can tell it to you if you join the team”

“I can ask someone here” you tighten the grip on his hand.

“….. Song Mingi”

You hum and let him go; he caresses his wrist, where red marks your tight hold of his hand.

“Oh don’t be so smug” he tells you.

“If anything it tells me you have good grip; that just makes me want you in the team so~ much more than the last time”

You poke your tongue out at him, because you’re a mature human being and walk towards the bleachers.

And after an hour of watching them play, you’ve gathered nothing.

All you think is that volleyball is cool. It makes the players look cool; and sure all of them are eye candy, but you’re eyes draw to Jongho more times than you would like to admit.

You can’t help it, the boy’s expression when he’s half crouched and waiting for actions makes you shiver, his hair sticking to his forehead, beads of sweat trickling down the sides of his neck, the slight exposure of his skin when he jumps or serves.

And you can’t get started on the guy’s thighs.

And you lied; the whole half of the game your eyes were trained on him, your mouth slightly agape as you watch him.

And if you knew you would have stopped, it was only when you were admiring Jongho drinking water that the captain- Song Mingi- decides to interrupt you.

You were in the middle of watching him gulp down water; sometimes he aggressively detaches the bottle from his mouth and takes sharp gulps of air before immediately bringing it back to his lips and gulping, and the water sometimes escapes from the corners of his mouth and-

Your soul has left your body, and you’re definitely drooling, and as you shuffle to get a more comfortable position and a better view, you feel a tap at your shoulder.

You shrug it off as being stupid, sometimes a hair moves a tiny inch on your body and your convinced it’s a spider, maybe it’s one of those times, and spider be damned, you’re looking at Choi Jongho in all his sweaty glory.

But then someone says-

“Like the view?”

And you startle backwards and see Mingi in stitches.

You look at him un-amused as he finishes up laughing, and once he’s done you want to hit him, but the thing is you have self-control. What you don’t have control over is how you want to stop watching some guy laughing and continue to stare at Jongho like he’s some interesting movie.

So you do exactly that only to find Jongho is dead on staring at you too, and you startle backwards yet again, hand flying towards your chest and hastily look away. And you can hear Mingi laughing again, then you look u to take a peek to see Jongho jogging up to you.

He’s panting and breathless and he smells like sweat, but he still manages to look drop dead gorgeous, he bends over hands on his knees and asks

“So…. Like volleyball yet?”

And he’s panting between his words; so it’s only kind enough to-

“Would you like some water?”

He nods, so you hand him your bottle and avert your eyes while he drinks, because they guy is right in front of you, and you don’t want to do anything stupid.

He hands you the bottle when he’s done, swipes the back of his hand to get rid of the water that has clung to his lips and you’re eyes linger there more than necessary.

“So…?” he asks. Here he goes again with the cryptic speaking, you resist the urge to roll your eyes and you ask-

“So….?”

He sighs like he’s done with you and asks-

“So how do you like volleyball?”

“Oh... Umm its cool I guess, but I don’t think I can do all that- it looks hard”

“It’s a matter of practice”

“I don’t know”

“Maybe you shouldn’t join, if you’re this uncomfortable”

And you felt a pang of disappointment at that, as if you’ve let him down.

“I can try… to play- I mean”

He looks at you for a few moments and says-

“Great, be there tomorrow after school on the tracks; captain said I can train you”

He flashes a smile at you- gums and all, waves and hurry back to the game.

Something that caused you’re stomach to flutter was that he waved alright, walking backwards while you waved and smiled back, all the way to the centre of the gym until he hit the pole and sheepishly rubbed his head, waved one last time and let the game take over.

The next day after school, you were in an empty track. You thought the track team would be there, but there was no one except Jongho and you.

You were told to run, and do all sorts of crazy exercises that you didn’t even know the name of. It was safe to say you were making demonic breathing noises through the whole ordeal, taking way too many water breaks and you looked far too messed up then you usually are. The uncomfortable feeling of sweat causing your clothes to cling to your body, and sweat trickling down the sides of your neck, was in fact not that uncomfortable. Quite the opposite; it was satisfactory, you think you look cool like those sports people in the ads, until you caught your reflection at a glass door and decided to not look again, and either way, you wouldn’t exercise for hours and NOT sweat.

And Jongho? He was pushing you through the whole thing, telling you what to do, how to do, basically training you; you haven’t even learnt one volleyball trick.

And you think this is hard.

Very hard.

But on the not so bright side, this time around you couldn’t stare at Jongho, every time he comes close; your heart does palpations, every time his skin comes in contact with yours, the warm sticky feeling made your stomach do summersaults.

And this continued on for a week. Yes, you, the most talented person when it comes to not doing any physical activity, did crazy exercise routines with a ball for Choi fucking Jongho, there’s no denying at this point. Even though you won’t voice it to him, Choi Jongho better be grateful or you’re going to die.

On the bright side, you and the team captain have been hanging out a lot lately, talking over coffees and homework and subtle smiles in corridors. And you voice it to him one day, of how Jongho should be grateful, because you can’t move your body.

“I must have been right to send Jongho to ask you then?” He says with a smug smile.

And you angrily mutter threats that hold no meaning and look away.

Even though it’s only been a month of training, and they want you to play.

And you’ve put all you’re arguments out on the table, and the team has shot all of them down as if it were that easy. But the whole idea of playing for the team, on a real match that counts, makes your gut churn and twist and tighten all at the same time.

And once all the members left, you see Jongho from the corner of your eye, sit next to you.

You feel his long, slender fingers rubbing you’re shoulder, probably for a soothing effect, that actually made the butterflies to flap and you didn’t really need that will all the churning, twisting and tightening happening down there.

And he says

“Calm down, ok” And you nod, but your attempts to calm down are useless, uneasiness clinging on to you.

Jongho sighs, and by now spending one month with him, you have noticed how he sighs a lot. In the past one moth, you both have been hanging out every chance you get, besides training.

It was really more calming, if you overlook the feelings on your side. Being with Jongho was calming, and knowing yourself, you usually are too busy trying to make memories you forget to live in the moment. But when you were with Jongho, you were pulled into the moment, in fact you were so into the moment, you haven’t even thought about making it a memory. And the plus side is you remember everything that happened when you’re with him. More than that there is this creeping feeling of how attached you’re growing to him that you will away for now.

One thing that makes your heart flutter every time is when he leaves, he walks backward, waving to you all the while, until he hits a pole, tree, human, pillar, or any object, then waves on last time and leaves.

You lost.

Great

You feel this intense mixture of dread and guilt.

It’s sad, it’s your first match but you’ve managed to lose for your team, because the other team could tell your inexperience, and even though you and Jongho had worked on your legs trembling while playing, you couldn’t control it out there.

There were people watching you so everything you did was a mess, every thrust was weaker than you thought, every opportunity was a lost one

You wanted to tell the team I told you so, but they didn’t look so bummed out, Mingi said some bullshit speech about how the team tried its best and it’s all about having fun anyways…

He also told you to take it easy.

But you felt like you were swallowing shards of glass, and breathing in iron fillings and as soon as the team left you could hold you’re tears back anymore, and it hurt because you were excited, and if it were not for you the team could have easily won, and you felt as if you shouldn’t have agreed to join in the first place, damn you Choi Jongho.

But really damn him; because he sat next to you and then one look at him was all it took for you to break down into sobs and he pulled you toward him, your face was snuggled up into his chest. And you were painfully stiff at first, until he started stroking you’re hair and whispering how its ok and how he’s proud of you and how you did well, and how everyone is proud of you and as you continued crying you were relaxing into his hold, which was stirring up warmth and you sobbed into his shirt for a really long time.

And when you were finally done, you looked up at him, and he was very close, like very, nose touching kind of close and you weren’t able to do anything but stare with wide eyes.

And was he getting closer?

And then there was no more distance between the both of you as a pair of lips captured yours, and at first your eyes were open and looking at Jongho’s closed ones, and soon enough he grew impatient and began prodding at your lips and you closed your eyes and kissed him back. Your heart was beating very fast, you wanted to swallow, but can you? Like is it allowed to swallow in a kiss, and it was painfully quiet all around you, until Jongho pulled away with a drawn out breath .You didn’t even have time to open your eyes, as a pair of lips part at your neck and he leaves open mouth kisses along the length of you neck, you hiss as he sucks particularly hard at a spot. He guides you to half lie down on the bench as he attacks your neck, and he scrapes his teeth along the attacked area and your hand shoots out to his shoulder, and he continues littering soft kisses and apologetic swipes of his tongue to sooth the pain. And soon enough he was back to sucking and nosing at your neck, and your grip on his shoulder tightens as you let out little mewls of satisfaction, at one point Jongho grunts and pulls away.

And you lie there and Jongho is back straddling you . His face hovers just above your ear, he says-

“I’m going to take you on a date and then we’re continuing this.” And it was so low and so husky that you can’t help the sound that gets past your lips.

He nips at your ear and crawls away from you.

You groan and cover your face in embarrassment before you say-

“Ok, let’s go on a date” And when you finally look at him, he’s beaming at you, and its blinding.

Your date was mostly looking at each other and you looking away every five seconds, giggling and then blushing.

And you were halfway through you’re drinks when you suddenly exclaim.

“I should lose more volleyball matches if I’m going to end up with really hot dates”

And Jongho looks at you with a pointed glare and asks

“Really?”

And you hum

And before you know it he was right in front of you, lips nipping at your ear again, and he says-

“No more volleyball for you”

And you giggle AGAIN, and he smiles at you. And you have got a good feeling about this, whatever you have got going on with Jongho.

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kagemajaya · 5 years ago

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pet - A beautiful and tense journey through the peaks and valleys of memories

Winter 2020, Geno Studio - 7/10

Hiroki appreciates the idyllic imagery of the landscape of memories

This season has been bountiful for me and pet was one of the main contributors to this success. Despite my avoidance of tense and emotionally exhausting topics, going through pet was easy. First and foremost, pet was a champ in the department of visual storytelling and I expected nothing less from my favorite director Oomori Takahiro. Whilst I don’t always fall in love with all the stories he adapts into anime, I know that he will never make a show that underestimates its audience and that the story will always have heart. And pet didn’t disappoint.

The main attraction of the show for me is the depth of emotion and the psychological struggles it portrays in characters I actually care about. Of the main foursome, Hiroki was an immediate favourite with his sweet, naive and just nature, followed by an interest in his “boyfriend” Tsukasa, mostly because of the creepiness he exuded but also because he still wasn’t unlikeable - he did really care for Hiroki. Their relationship, of course, was a big draw in itself - immediately intimate and full of innuendo, much like the rest of the narrative around the co-dependency between image users who give and receive peaks from each other (peaks represent the best memory that make up the entire psyche of a human being.) This almost surface-level subtext never disappointed despite all the drama surrounding each other’s value in each of these four characters.

I’m not one to say no to an intense bout of connecting in memories.

In some cases the relationship drama made me sad - because why couldn’t Hayashi prioritise Tsukasa? Why was it always Satoru who came first? It gave me a dark pleasure in some - Tsukasa’s intense need for Hiroki to be with him drowned out his need for Hiroki to be okay. He just needed him around no matter what. In others, it made me stray away from the emotional core a bit - who cares about this supernatural Chinese mafia and their politics? I’m not one for the gangster stories. I need beauty and elegance in my crimes rather than grit. I was also a bit suspicious about the extremely over-the-top vibe in some dramatic scenes. Tsukasa confronting Hayashi felt almost hammed up to me.

At the end of it all, pet delivered a finale that made the uninteresting bits suddenly interesting and made the interesting but confusing bits all the more deep. A lot of the drama was actually caused by the limited emotional capacity of these four, who had a different developmental period than normal people. They couldn’t create their own memories and they didn’t feel their own emotions until someone else came to save them. The nicer, more naive and newer pets like Hiroki and Satoru felt exactly like that - pets. They were not treated as equals and were clearly tricked into all sorts of situations they didn’t want to be in. More importantly, they didn’t even want to think, they didn’t know how to form their own opinions, but despite the lack of basics in emotions, they still grew those. It was easier to see that they were indeed limited in their capacity to not feel (because they felt a GREAT deal) but in their capacity to make sense of it and control it.

The older, cleverer characters like Hayashi and Tsukasa looked well-adjusted on the surface until past halfway, where we could see the cracks in their armor. Hayashi prioritised his younger “child” Satoru, not because he didn’t love Tsukasa but because he thought Tsukasa could have been a lost cause in the hands of the Company, whereas he had been able to take care of Satoru till recently. Thinking back on it, this fact didn’t make me feel relieved for Tsukasa because in the end he was relegated to a secondary position, but it made sense. Hayashi was not cruel, he only had the capacity to prioritize one particular feeling (or person in this case.) He had even thought of Hiroki and wanted to bring him out despite not even having met him but more than anything he had to get Satoru out.

Hayashi’s protective feelings for Tsukasa were more hurtful than warm. After all, he was always the “too.”

Tsukasa, himself, was acting in a lot of scenes but this was not true for all scenes where he was emotional - despite giving the impression. The confrontation scene with Hayashi was as hammed up as the scene where he was putting on a performance for Satoru, but the truth is he was just unable to express himself in a way that was genuine. His emotional baggage was of course far bigger than this. After all, he even groomed himself a perfect pet after he was betrayed by his peak giver. He wanted someone to trust and he could only trust someone who would be on his side unconditionally. His actions (and thoughts) made it obvious that he didn’t see Hiroki as an equal, but the question is was that also his feelings? If anything, Hiroki (and Hayashi) were put on a pedestal and he could not live without them. However, he didn’t really understand how to go about keeping them without thinking about himself first. He had been self-centered for so long that it was impossible to think of anything other than himself. He’d never learnt to.

Tsukasa’s perfect world.

And the Company - I didn’t care about this plotline until the last episode where the connection between Katsuragi and LianLian was revealed. And what a way to end it! Suddenly I was emotionally connected to the evil goon, doing the bidding of his superiors and nothing else the whole season (and he had no gay storyline to boot, so a tough sell for me :)).

The sad ending was coming from miles away - but pet also surprised me in that regard. The ending could be viewed in two different ways. The source material had been a completed manga for a long time until recently, in which case, it looked like the “stupid” ending of the naive pets, looking optimistically into the future, never likely to have what they want. We do now know that a sequel is starting that focuses on the lives of Tsukasa, Hiroki and Satoru after this point, and I, for one, am excited to see a somewhat happy follow-up to this tense but strangely sweet psychological drama. We might end up finding out about more rules surrounding how memories and images work (though that plot itself is not necessarily my main concern.) And who knows? Maybe Hiroki and Satoru will really bring Tsukasa to their peak and Tsukasa will relearn how to make memories and they will live happily ever after. A girl can dream... Though I still must add, the conclusion is a perfect one as it is, not entirely sad, but really just two fool’s dream that we can also choose to believe in.

The peak that bestows hope on all who is destitute

Putting aside the story elements, the show itself is crafted superbly both visually and narratively. The imagery was almost never outright explained but always visible and giving a pleasant rush to me when I noticed them.

Don’t kill the innocent pets! They understand nothing about the evils of the world they live in.

The dissonance between thoughts, feelings and actions of the childish but equally deep main four was showcased well in all dialogues, but especially in the confrontation scene between Tsukasa and Satoru in episode 12. Both characters didn’t suspect they were wrong despite both of them being half-wrong. The pacing of the dialogue allowed both their thoughts and actual words to be conveyed but also showed us in great detail how underdeveloped they were emotionally. Their understanding of those external to them was somewhat complex, it’s not like any normally raised human being can figure out all the things that were happening in that situation, so it was realistic that they wouldn’t understand it all. More importantly, their self-awareness levels were way below the threshold that would allow them to flourish in a cruel environment, surrounded by people who were hellbent on taking advantage of them and seeing them merely as pets. It made for a fascinating watch - the cleverness of it all was the depth of the characters who I’d classify as idiots in a lot of ways. As someone who very rarely enjoys idiot characters, I’d call this experience an orgasmic pleasure.

Takes one to know one.

One last word about Ueda Keisuke, the seiyuu of Hiroki. The genuineness and sweetness portrayed in the character hugely owed to the great voice work of the actor. I had heard him in Oushitsu Kyoushi Heine before as the titular character Heine and noticed his distinct tones, but hadn’t felt anything beyond that. Hiroki’s performance, however, affected me to my core. Looking back on Heine now, I really appreciate the sense of distinctiveness he can grant the characters he plays. Heine was not an attractive character for me, so I didn’t care at the time as his voice fit him perfectly - it was not particularly attractive. With Hiroki, he put on a performance with a completely different range of emotions that retrospectively, I can put Heine together with Hiroki, and see what a great voice actor he is. Here’s hoping for more roles for Ueda in the future! (Apparently he is a stage actor as well, but selfishly, I hope he becomes a full time seiyuu.)

Ask me again in that voice, you sweet little child.

The overall tension and the focus on two young men and their relationship, in addition to the matter of their survival within a gangster world remind me of Banana Fish but I must caveat that I intensely dislike BF for failing to do all the things pet did perfectly - from a genuine relationship and real characters other than the very main character, tragedy as a harrowing storytelling medium rather than the sake of having it there (and without respite,) drama that is not cheesy despite being over-the-top in places (with good reason) and imagery that served the narrative which closed the loop, without leaving any threads untouched.

As the pull of the show is the emotional co-dependency between the male cast for me, I have a hard time narrowing down my actual recommendations for pet. There are so many of them, and they are not necessarily similar to the show in other respects. I will name a few of my favorites here if you are up for gay love/obsession as a theme in tense, non-romantic anime, with characters who aren’t quite in touch with their emotions: Shigurui, Saraiya Goyou, Kenpuu Denki Berserk, and 91 Days might do the trick. Let me know your thoughts!

#anime #anime rec #seasonal anime #series review #anime review #pet #pet_anime

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aqvarius · 6 years ago

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peaches and cream - ayumu shinonome

warning: mature/nsfw content

–

I can’t believe this is how it all goes wrong.

It starts with her graduation and her surprisingly touching valedictorian speech, and then the rest of the day passes by so quickly and so slowly all at the same time. I take her to dinner and do that whole hotel key in the bouquet trick but even though it’s a good restaurant, I can barely taste the food as I watch her eat. Whether my sudden ageusia comes from nerves or excitement, I can’t tell. Then all of a sudden, we’re in the hotel room and she’s sitting on the bed in her bathrobe, a ball of fizzing energy.

One minute I’m kissing down her body, the next I’ve shut myself off in a bathroom while my first and only girlfriend sits outside. On a bed. Naked.

The moment that made me choke plays in my head over and over like a TV replay of a sports match. I’m watching her so keenly, stroking her body all over, undressing her and letting the silken fabric of her lingerie slip from her smooth skin, trying to deduce what she likes and where. She’s shivering under my touch, flushed and needy, gasping for more. So into it that she can’t even pretend to play coy, she’s fully caught under my spell.

Then, she moans that one word that sends a shot through my heart. “Instructor…”

Suddenly I’m struck with a cold fear. A terrifying scenario runs through my head: one where I’m not good enough, can’t satisfy her, and she leaves me for someone else. For Miyayama. Her Dream Team. I pull myself from her warm, inviting body and apologize, leaving her looking tiny and vulnerable sat in the middle of that large bed with a sheet wrapped around her.

I’ve never had any problems separating emotions and sex before. I’ve never had any trouble sleeping with women I didn’t care for and would have been happy to never see their faces again. I’ve never had any performance issues, nor have I ever had any problems with pleasing women. But the thought that she might only feel the way she does towards me because of my title sends a pang of anxiety so acutely into my body that a bitter taste floods the back of my mouth. My mind spirals as I remember that awful dream of mine where she chose to leave me because I couldn’t satisfy her, and then I recall Miyayama’s bold confession and his confidence in declaring that he’ll always be waiting for her with open arms.

When I finally pull myself together enough to leave the bathroom, I see her curled up on the bed, so hurt and fragile. She’s obviously pretending to be asleep – I’ve watched her sleep enough to know what she’s like when she’s really sleeping – but I can’t draw the courage to say anything. Instead, I stew in my anxiety, chest so tight I wonder if I might just cry.

–

Things are awkward between us for days. I see her only once in the next week, when she pops by the instructor room to pick up some of her old study notes from my desk. Just one look at her and I’m practically salivating. She leans over to grab the files from my desk and out of the corner of my eye, I can see down the front of her blouse. She’s wearing a rather functional plain white bra, but her creamy cleavage is revealed, and it spills forwards alluringly when she bends.

As she turns to leave, some papers spill from files that haven’t been closed properly and she gasps, flustered, quickly dropping onto her hands and knees to gather them. If it wasn’t already there, my mind would fall right into the gutter, seeing her in that position. Her skirt is riding up slightly and the backs of her toned thighs are right there in front of my eyes. The peachy shape of her ass looks so inviting, and the slight peek of inner thigh makes me dream of having my face right there between her legs, kissing and licking at the sensitive skin. This is so typical of her – she’s absolutely useless at seduction operations, and yet she’s so tempting when she’s not trying at all. Her hair falls forward as she ducks her head and it exposes the skin at the nape of her neck. It provokes an unusually animalistic response in me; I’m struck by the need to mark that skin as mine.

Right then, Soma breezes into the room, looking down at my aide in what may as well be doggy style position. There is no doubt anyone walking in can see right down her top. An amused smile rises to his face and it makes me burn with irritation.

“Do you need help there?” he asks her with a suggestive laugh, his eyes flickering downwards for just a second, and she looks down at herself and immediately sits up on her heels, cheeks hot, pressing her blouse close to her body.

“N-no!” she yelps, obviously flustered, and grabs the last few scattered papers before standing up, rigid like a soldier. I just sit in my seat, fuming that she’s responding exactly the way Soma wants. Even if it wasn’t for a master manipulator like Soma, she’d be too easy to read, too obvious. Too fun for others to play with when she should be mine.

“Instructors,” she mumbles in an awkward farewell as she leaves the room.

I should get back to work but I can’t stop thinking about my girl on all fours, about her flushed cheeks, her lithe body, her milky cleavage, the half-lidded bedroom eyes that she probably doesn’t even know she makes, the way she trembles just from my touch, how pillowy and pliable her lips are and how they would feel wrapped around my –

Oh, fuck. I can feel my pants tenting.

This is so mortifying. I feel like a teenager popping a boner in class because his crush walked past.

“What’s wrong, Ayumu?” asks Goto, and I realise that I’m staring down at my crotch, hands balled into fists on my keyboard. A line of empty spaces runs across my screen and comes to an abrupt stop as I quickly remove my hands from my computer.

“I’ve heard tensing your thighs can help,” Soma offers, sounding extremely entertained as he sorts through his documents. He’s somehow aware of my predicament and I flush crimson. “Or just imagine Narita in a speedo. That should do it.”

That last suggestion clues Goto in and his face reddens almost as much as mine. It’s common knowledge in Public Safety that Soma is a force to be reckoned with, but I’m cursing him more than ever in my head as I shift awkwardly in my chair. He snickers as he grabs his file from his desk and leaves the room with a mild yet teasing “Good luck”.

Goto coughs awkwardly and looks back down at his work, and I slump my head forward onto my desk. When she texts me to invite me to Sachi’s place a few nights later, I’m all too eager to see her again.

–

The incident at Sachi’s is somehow shocking and soothing to me, both calming all my insecurities and stoking a flame of arousal in me. All my worries fade away with that one declaration she makes, that she wants to be my home. That she loves everything about me. Now that she’s melted away my worries, I can feel my desire for her more acutely than ever. Not only that, but I’m driven by an urge to show her how attractive she is, how much I want her, to pacify the stormy seas of her worries like she’s done mine.

I look up from whatever junk I’m mindlessly scrolling through on my phone to keep my mind occupied when she pads into the room nervously fiddling with the collar of her pyjama top. I can see a lacy lilac strap peeking through and it’s driving me crazy. I want to unwrap her like a present and savour every part of her. She smells incredible, like peaches and cream, and it makes me desperate to lick her all over and devour her nectar.

“You’ll have to forgive me, but I’m not going to be able to go easy on you tonight,” I warn as I work the buttons on her pyjama top open. She swallows as I push her down onto the bed, but her eyes are filled with the same clear conviction as when she professed her unconditional love for me. She trusts me. She wants to be mine.

I reach for her, pressing my lips against hers in soft, teasing nips. Her neck tilts upwards when I pull back, obviously wanting more, but I shift my body downwards, kissing down her body. I said I wouldn’t go easy, but I can’t help wanting to ease her desire out slowly, savouring each and every reaction. I draw my tongue between the valley of her breasts, finally enjoying that cleavage that’s been teasing me in and out of my dreams for so long, and then lightly suck on their rosy tips, feeling her hands press needily into my scalp in response. Then I lower myself even further, lingering on the hollows between her ribs, then down further, further, further.

Her smooth legs tremble gently around me as I press more kisses to the junction between her thighs and her hips, licking soft swirls on her velvety skin. Finally, my mouth makes its way to right where she wants it, and she lets slip a soft moan that makes my heart pound.

“Shinonome…” she whispers as I let my hot breath fall right there, and I’ve never been more glad to hear my name in my entire life.

I eat at her, circling my tongue in a point around her, pressing it flat and dragging, using my lips and jaw and the lightest graze of my teeth, testing out every technique I’ve ever learnt as if I’ve learnt it all just for her. She cries out when I dip my tongue into her and lick upwards and I keep at it, tasting how sweet she is, how wet she is just for me, until her breathing turns shallow. As much as I’d love to have her thighs clenched around my head as I bring her to orgasm with my mouth, I pull back. We have the whole night to learn each other’s bodies. For now, I tear off the clothes that are keeping me from feeling her more fully.

Her cheeks and ears are dyed the loveliest hue of pink when I look down at her and I want to feel the warmth of them against my lips, and more. Taking the sight of me in with her eyes, she runs her hands over my skin nervously, and then she turns even pinker when she asks me, shyly, “Do you want to, um, sex me up?”

My sexy, goofy girl. Doesn’t she know I’ve wanted this for years?

“I do. I want you so badly. I want to feel you, all of you. I want to make every inch of you mine. I have to have you.” The words spill out from where they’ve been held up in my heart for so long. It’s such a relief to admit to her and the way her gaze deepens with so much love is the greatest reward I could ever have asked for.

She leans up to kiss me and pulls back to stare into my eyes, her own glazed with need. We kiss each other, the urgency picking up as we gasp into each other’s mouths. My girl’s hands naturally find places on my body that I didn’t even know were sensitive, and I’m so hard it’s almost painful. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a woman more. My hand skims down her body, drifting up her inner thigh with a ghostlike lightness. She feels so soft and so warm, it’s taking all my self-control not to just take her right there and then and plunge myself to the hilt in her wet heat. I can tell that this is what she wants too; her back is arching and her hips are tilting upwards towards my hand wantonly as I stroke her, sliding one finger and then two into her. She sighs over and over that she needs me, but it’s only when my hand is creamy with her desire and she’s writhing below me that I finally decide to give us both what we want.

Reluctantly pulling away from her, I reach for my wallet and fumble to pull out a condom, but she grabs my wrist, blushes prettily and mumbles, “I’m on birth control.”

I’m amazed that I have any blood left in my body anywhere but my crotch when my girl whispers those words. Dizzy from desire, I happily abandon my quest and reach for her again. It’s just the two of us now with nothing between us as I slide the tip of my cock up and down against her, occasionally pushing in slightly. She’s so wet and and tight and it’s almost unbearably hot inside her.

She whimpers my name pleadingly, undone with lust, and my heart leaps into my throat.

I feel like a virgin with how hard my heart is pounding and how tight my stomach is. Finally, I push into her and my heart almost stops. She lets out the sexiest moan I’ve ever heard in my entire life and my cock pulses in response. The pleasure is so overwhelming I have to take a deep breath and calm myself so as to not cum in her right away. It’s been two years in the making, two years of abstinence, two years of jacking off to fantasies of this very moment, and somehow the real thing is so much better than anything I’ve ever dreamt up. It suddenly hits me that this is the first time I’ve ever had sex with a woman I love – a woman who loves me back as much as I love her.

I take another breath to treasure the sight in front of my eyes. Seductive without even trying, her lashes rest heavily against the curve of her cheek. They flutter as she struggles to open her eyes against the pleasure when I start to move against her. I go slowly at first, caressing her gently, giving her a few shallow inches and then pushing deep, letting her feel my full length filling her up with each stroke, teaching her body how mine feels.

“Close your eyes,” I murmur, almost wanting to laugh at how cute she looks with her half-lidded, glossy eyes.

She shakes her head stubbornly, extracting her arms from my grip and sliding them around my neck. “I want to see your face…”

Something snaps in me when she says those words. I feel lightheaded and focussed all at the same time. Bending my arms down to bracket my forearms around her head, I lean down to kiss her hard while my hips pick up speed, thrusting into her at a punishing pace. Her legs tighten around my waist, crossing at the ankles, and her back arches in an attempt to draw her body even closer to mine, but every time my lips leave hers to give us time to breathe, her eyes remain locked on mine. She gazes deeply at me, like I’m one of those diagrams she’s so good at memorising. It’s as though she’s trying to drink me in and commit the sight of me deep into her memory. At this moment, I wish I had her photographic memory. I wish I could remember how she looks like this forever.

I reach between us to stroke at her while my hips roll against hers and it’s too much for her. Her nails dig into the back of my neck as she cries out against my lips, shuddering as her head tips back in pleasure. I can feel her pulsing around me and it takes me over the edge. I groan as I spill myself inside her, filling her up while she trembles and clenches around me.

My adorable girl. My sexy girl. My precious girl.

As she curls up into me, eyes glowing with bliss and love, I realise it doesn’t matter that I can’t remember this moment as perfectly as her. I know there will be so, so many more to come.

–

anyway i basically wanted to write ayumu and mc’s first time

but i also wanted to write ayumu just wanting mc so so much

so this is just 2.7k words of ayumu being horny for mc during the our graduation epilogue events

i added an extra scene tho for fun

#ayumu shinonome #her love in the force #hlitf #snow writes #hlitf fanfic #voltage inc #voltage fanfic #fanfic #voltage otome #otome game #voltage inc fanfiction #voltage smut

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raleigh-ocean · 6 years ago

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you make loving fun

summary: Misty thought it was different and exciting. She had had her couple of experiences, for sure, but none of them was like the one she was living at the moment. It was slow yet passionate, complicated yet natural, suffocating yet freeing; and every time she got lost in Raleigh’s eyes, Misty thought about how much she wanted to get closer and closer to her. However she needed to control first how to not fall into her spell every time they touched.

words: 4, 695

N/A: again, another 2013 setting for Goode-Ocean-Day! This time is Misty’s turn with Raleigh, so I hope you enjoy it, it’s quite different from Cordelia’s ‘like none is watching’. In here Misty is 26 and Raleigh is 33!

Looking at her coffee - light coffee, like less than a quarter coffee and the rest milk, three spoons of sugar - Misty tried to wrap her head around what was going on.

The days at the Academy passed by in another light and with another rhythm. It wasn't bad at all, but she missed her shack and how she could go on her day as she liked.

Miss Foxx, miss Cordelia, was a dear to let her get used to the schedule and to the new methods she was learning. Misty liked their few classes alone, mostly because she was the only one interested in all the magic related to plants and potion craft. She always did better when there were just a few in the classroom instead of a lot, so being the only one Cordelia was teaching was a blessing.

The girls…well, she was sure the only one she would ever like was Nan. Misty still felt hesitant around Zoe, after all, and Madison wasn't her favourite. Queenie…well, she wasn't sure, she didn't see her again once she was back at the Academy.

And miss Raleigh…well, Leighs, was truly something else.

Lifting her free hand to rest it in her chest, Misty felt her cheeks heathen up with the memory from last night. She didn't need to pull down her vest to see the tiny love bits around her breasts, nor pull up the sleeves of the sweater - too big for her, a scent that wasn't hers all over it - to see where her own teeth sank in order to silence herself a couple times.

Misty didn't see herself getting that intimate with anyone but, oh Lord, there she was.

It happened naturally, as weird at it sounded, they didn't do much to be honest. Misty felt challenged by Raleigh and her never-ending questions and theories, making her head work ahead of whatever they were covering. But it also came with a tiny cup of frustration that ended up being the thing triggering such primal reaction. The first couple of times together had taught Misty that Raleigh was a too intense lover, but she welcomed that with open arms because it made her feel loved.

Wanted.

Misty also felt breathless with each kiss, sweet gestures that happened unexpectedly. She wanted to be more physical with the other woman, but soon she had learnt that Raleigh wasn't a big fan of the touchy stuff if she wasn't the one initiating. She wasn't too experienced in all these…couple-y things, but Misty was learning little by little in between lessons and it made her feel all these butterflies in her stomach with each new approach. Her father once told her about that feeling, but it wasn't till now that she could actually say she had felt it for real.

Smiling to herself, closing her eyes to recreate in some of the gestures and memories, Misty didn't see the woman she was thinking about walking in the kitchen with sleepy eyes.

"Ready for today's lesson?" her voice brought her back - and also the way Raleigh's index and middle fingers pinched softly in the cheek with care.

When she looked up to see her partner's hazel eyes, they still were deep and dark in spite of the morning light making them look like the autumn leaves outside. She still couldn't figure out what was hidden behind all that turmoil, all that confusion, but she didn't care.

They still had time to figure themselves out and Misty decided that, for that morning, she wanted to focus on how her teacher and lover made her feel.

"As ready as one can be," she chuckled at that, watching how the other woman managed to get some breakfast out of what the others had left.

"Good, today we are going over…protection spells," Raleigh approached her, mug and plate in her hands, and she left a single kiss in the crown of her head before taking a seat in front of her. It made her feel giddy with all those new feelings. "You already are catching up with the rest, so I'm letting you choose where do we have the lesson today."

Misty didn't care at all where they could have the lesson, as long as they were together it was okay for her. After muttering a soft 'let me think about it while you eat', she decided to focus in Raleigh for the time being. She still thought how could she has ended up in that situation, screwing her…teacher sounded like something her mother would have been scandalized to hear. But she was old enough to make her own decisions and this one in particular felt just right.

Humming to herself before sipping her coffee, Misty managed to feel her partner's magic reaching out for her weakly. She let it happen, drawing a soft half smile from Raleigh's lips before her own magic started to intertwine with hers much faster and stronger than intended.

"Miss Day, I suggest you to keep it together before I decide to drag you back to bed and forget about the lesson," the little honorific and the implied warning made her feel warmth spreading all over her lower stomach. "Also, I would like to finish my toast and my juice."

"I'm sorry," Misty chuckled, a bit ashamed about it, before reaching out to take Raleigh's hand over the table after making sure she was okay with it - she was, her little smile never leaving. "I can't help it, I'm still new at all this and I'm used to feel myself all over the place."

That wasn't a total lie, Misty always let her magic run free around her while she was at her shack. It not only helped greatly with her plants, but also with the feeling of being safe and sound in that place. She also used her magic to feel her surroundings, to play it safe. However now that she was leaving among her kind, she had to keep it at bay and learn to control it.

"I know, that's why I was telling you sugar," the sweet pet name rolled with easiness from Raleigh's tongue. "Not that I care if we are alone in private, but I think it would be a bit weird if I end up fucking you over the breakfast table."

Another thing that she liked about the other with was how honest and straightforward she was. Maybe that made her feel her face burning hot, not used to being that open to talk about that subject, but she squeezed Raleigh's hand and tried to focus in her magic flow. The change was subtle, but after a few minutes the sudden tension between them relaxed. Still linking hands Misty caressed Raleigh's knuckles absent-minded, her eyes closed while focusing in how their magic flows worked together, until she felt a soft tug.

"Great job," she didn't need to open her eyes to see how her smile grew a bit more. "Now come here, reward kiss always make it better."

Misty opened her eyes only to find how Raleigh was looking at her hungrily, as if she was waiting for the touch of lips to go all in and skip their class. Something in the back of her rational part told her to not take the offer, full knowing what would happen and also that she needed that class if she wanted to keep going with her classes in the greenhouse. So she decided to pull a desperate method out of her now fuzzy mind.

Obeying after another light tug in her hand, Misty circled the table to stand by Raleigh's side. Even with the height difference reverted, she knew she was in the line of her plan being successful or being a complete disaster. Misty leant for the kiss, feeling how a hand was placed in her waist, and smiled a bit when their lips locked together…

…and then she pulled away before her brain decided to give in the welcoming and addictive intensity that were Raleigh's lips.

"The Ancestral room then?" Misty was trying to ignore the confused look in the other woman's eyes and the low groan for pulling away. "I think we'll have more room to practice."

Maybe taking Raleigh by surprise was what made her be able to escape from the kitchen. She was too dumbfounded to actually manage to catch her, so she only decided to finish her breakfast before following the blonde woman to the place she chose for today's lesson. Raleigh didn't need to go get changed, after all the class only consisted in them so she just showed up in her pajamas.

Misty was already in the couch waiting for her, reading the book she had lent her when they started. Raleigh thought for a second about surprising her from behind and get a much longer kiss, but she was mildly blinded by the intensity of Misty's overall aura.

For a second it made her forget how much she hated the Ancient Room and its portraits.

"Which one we are goin' to try?" Misty couldn't help but ask as soon as the other woman entered her view.

"Page one eighty, third paragraph," going to the page quickly, it left the Cajun time to observe how her companion seemed a bit distracted by the room. "Do you remember the trick I teached you? Try to do it again while reading so by the time you read it out loud, your body is ready."

Leaving the need to ask what's going on in Raleigh's head, Misty took some air in and let it out softly while reaching for her magic.

That was another thing she liked about her, how she approached everything so naturally yet so controlled. She wished to know how did she got all that knowledge in such a short time, but she felt like she wasn't going to get that answer soon nor from her lover.

Although Misty knew Raleigh was a bit distracted, they spent the morning trying spells and going over a lot of theory that bored her to no end. Raleigh's lessons were pretty lineal, so it was easy to follow them and not get lost. Closing her book around midday, they sat in silence in the couch after the older woman thought it was enough for her class with Cordelia. She managed to cast most of them without much effort, having the last one as the more difficult, which it left her feeling her arms like jelly for some reason.

Bringing her legs to her chest, Misty dedicated the moment in silence to think about how to act around Raleigh to get her more comfortable. It didn't escape from Misty how the woman was being extra careful with whatever happened around her, always trying to avoid any kind of trouble. Even her stance there in the couch was one of someone that didn't feel at home at all. Raleigh was sat in the couch as if she was a guest, her hands laced in her lap and looking at the ceiling absent-minded.

She wasn't able to come up with something to say, but her partner seemed to read her mind unknowingly, striking conversation.

"I think it's time for lunch," she didn't move at all from her position but Misty got curious what she was going to say. "Do you want me to stay or to leave?"

The question weirded the swamp witch out, making her tilt her head ever so softly to discern if she was being serious about that. Raleigh had again that pensive look in her eyes that freaked her out sometimes. As if she wasn't there at all. It made Misty wish to lean on her and kiss it away, but she felt self-conscious about possibly making the other woman uncomfortable with the sudden touch.

In a desperate move, she closed their distance in the couch until she was sitting right by her side and put her fingers over Raleigh's.

"Stay," Misty smiled softly when Raleigh let her intertwine their fingers; awkwardly yes, but she did it. "It’s much better when you’re around."

It took her a couple seconds to swift from her ‘teacher’ persona to herself, but Misty noticed the subtle change immediately. Looking around to see if they were still alone, she squeezed Raleigh’s hand softly and then it only took her to close the distance finally, placing her free hand in her jaw - away from the scar, away from what it made her flinch every time.

Raleigh looked at her as if the touch brought her back to Earth. She frowned, making her gesture turn a bit harsher than intended and then Misty gave her a soft peck. Enough for the other woman to lick her lips, ready to go for another one more intense, but Misty didn’t give yet again.

“Let’s get somethin’ and go outside,” she pulled Raleigh up with her, both now standing up, and their hands found a way to stay connected without being fully laced - Misty’s index holding Raleigh’s pinky. “C’mon Leighs.”

As soon as they were in the kitchen again, Misty let go of the contact to just take off the sweater and tied it around her waist. That drew Raleigh’s eyes, she felt them in her, but if she was going to say or do something it never happened. The rest of the residents of the house started to show up for lunch, making the taller woman to stay silent and again in her shell. Misty gave her an apologetical look when Cordelia approached her, new mismatched eyes full of excitement for the incoming class.

But it was too late for Raleigh to notice anyway, already turning to give both women their space.

As the afternoon went by, Misty found herself forgetting for a moment about the woman she left inside the house, the plants and the new ways of magic clouding her head along with Cordelia’s presence. It was easy to be around her too, she had a similar approach to teaching as Raleigh but at the same time it was completely different. That was what made her forget about the method the other woman had taught her, failing to perform the spell at the first try.

However, as soon as she watched how the plant started to bloom in front of her eyes, Misty felt her magic grow as well. She tugged at it with all her strength, now reminding the trick, and poured it into the plant. Cordelia’s back was facing her so she missed how much faster it actually grew; when she squealed in delight she had her full attention again.

Something inside of Misty twisted, a new idea forming in her brain while a playful smile formed in her lips. Not even that poor choice of a man Cordelia was divorcing ruined her inner mood, staying by her friend as a silent support.

After the surprise visit and gathering all the protective berries from the vines, Misty couldn’t help but feel excited to show her progress to Raleigh during dinner…

...but it only lead to worry when her usual spot was empty.

“She told Zoe she was going to nap,” Nan’s voice was a mere whisper once Misty settled by her side in the dining table. “But I still hear her thoughts from time to time,” the girl flinched a bit. “Must be writing or practicing, she always forget to keep them to herself.”

The rest of the table didn’t seem to worry much about the absence, as it was something recurring, so the only thing Misty could do was eat and once the rest were gone was get some food for the other woman. It wasn’t the first time she did that, but that time felt more...special for some reason. Maybe it was because she had saved a couple of berries especially for her, or maybe it was because she was trying to approach her again with the gentleness Raleigh seemed to need.

She felt the magic inside the room, faintly moving around, and it left Misty with her hand lifted and about to knock. Should she disturb her peace by knocking or should she come in silence? Misty decided to got for the second option, entering the room just to find Raleigh deep in thought, looking at the notebook in front of her, having her fist pressed against her forehead to support herself.

Closing the distance with care, Misty finally saw that Raleigh wasn’t ‘deep in thought’ at all. She had fallen asleep there, sitting at the desk, and the only thing that stopped her from falling all over her stuff was her own arm. There was something peaceful in her gesture, something that made her look younger but at the same time tired beyond her comprehension.

Leaving the bowl with rice and sauce in a place where she knew it wouldn’t be in danger, Misty wondered if she was strong enough to carry her to bed.

“Dreaming or did I died?” a little mumble and Raleigh stirring awake startled Misty softly. “What an angel would do here if not?”

“Charmer,” the word made Raleigh chuckle shortly and her hand reached for Misty’s, pulling her closer and making her rest her arm over her shoulders. That the woman nuzzled her face against her belly, still sleepy, sent Misty over the moon since she never saw her act like that.

“You like it, sweetcheeks,” Raleigh passed her arm around Misty’s thighs to hug her like that, the position being ideal for that. The swamp witch felt Raleigh’s content hum travel all over her body when she pressed her face a bit more against her. “I’m hungry.”

"I'd worry if you weren't, you skipped dinner," another hum when Misty started to massage her scalp softly with her fingers. "I've got you some rice," Raleigh didn't move, groaning a bit in response when Misty's hand lowered and focused in the knot of stress in the back of her neck. "And…I made something at the greenhouse too, brought you some to try."

If Misty didn't see the stars in Raleigh's sleepy eyes when she looked up to that, she didn't know what else could be. Placing now her chin in her belly, the tired witch waited curious until her partner pulled out of her pocket one of the berries. She opened her mouth and closed her eyes, waiting for it.

It was perfect timing, or that she thought.

Misty felt nervous for real but it didn't stop her. Placing the berry between her lips, she cupped Raleigh's cheeks with her hands ever so softly and lowered enough to feed her like that. Raleigh hummed against Misty's lips, sending another wave of excitement all over her body, and munched on the berry before pressing their lips together in another peck.

"Tasty, regular berry or magic berry?" Misty didn't have time to distance herself from the woman and ended up being pulled in her lap.

"Magic, miss Cordelia said they were for protection," she did miss the change in Raleigh's gesture when she nuzzled her neck with her nose, leaving a love bite close to her collarbones. "Double protection, right?"

"Source and product, double trouble," the low laugh from the taller woman got her insides tingling and ready for anything, and she let Raleigh to accommodate her better to be comfortable as much as they could in the desk chair.

Raleigh had taught her how magic could double its effects just by how it was performed or given to other.

A new kiss in her neck made Misty finally tilt her head enough and let Raleigh kiss her fully in the lips. Another thing to the list that she loved: how it didn't matter where they were, making out sessions sent her to cloud nine in a quick snap of her fingers. Still, she wanted to keep her sanity and when Raleigh placed her hand in her lower stomach, Misty pulled away by placing her own in the middle of her chest. She was so close to just give in.

Raleigh groaned at that, more audible this time, and actually voiced what was crossing her mind.

"I don't know what are you trying to do," she didn't open her eyes but Misty knew they were probably clouded with that darker mellow tone. "But it's driving me nuts."

"I just- Leighs, I swear," Misty's breath got caught in her throat when she received a trail of kisses up her neck. "I just want to slow down a bit dear."

And then Raleigh was all awake. Misty felt how her body stiffened under her weight. She heard her swallow and how her hands moved to safest positions, just holding her by wrapping her arms around her middle.

"Am I too much?"

"No, no-Raleigh, you aren't, you are perfect," Misty hurried that and pulled a bit away to look at her better. "It's… I want to get to know you, like, spendin' time together and givin' you the whole nine, y'know?"

If Raleigh did understand, she didn't show it but her worried gesture eased at her words. Taking a deep breath to clear her mind, she only moved a bit to give Misty a couple gentle pats in her thigh. She let a new low laugh go and reached for the bowl with her food. As if she knew something Misty didn't.

"Let's try Mimi, let's try," was her final sentence, looking up to Misty with the ghost of a soft smirk in her lips. "Would you want to… stay here for the night then?"

As an answer, the only thing Misty did was giving her two quick kisses and a mumbled 'let me get my other dress' before leaving as fast as the wind. The expectation of actually sleeping together in another light as the usual was exciting for her.

When she got back to Raleigh's room, the notebooks on the desk were piled up under the bowl as if it was the only thing holding back whatever they hid. Since they started to see each other, Misty always wondered about what was written in them. Once she even was tempted to take a peek over Raleigh's shoulder, but something in the back of her mind - a voice too similar to her mother's - held her back from doing so.

"I know that you don't mind but…" she looked how Raleigh was accommodating the single bed for both. "Maybe we have to sleep a bit tight."

Misty shook her head and reached for Raleigh's hands with more confidence, being welcomed with a nervous smile. Maybe she was the one being too much. Her eyes caught the concoction-stained glass in the night stand and how groggy seemed Raleigh now that she was looking at her that close. Misty had absolutely no idea what the heck the whole thing had, but she didn't like how it reduced the other woman to that state.

"If I'm with ya, it doesn't matter," she giggled and pulled Raleigh with her to bed, made them both lie down and find the right position in such tiny space. "Aren'you hot with these long sleeves?"

Raleigh only shook her head, catching Misty's fingers with hers and lace them together before she could pull up the fabric. Even like that, her will was still strong.

They manage to accommodate - more than a half of Misty on top of Raleigh - and soon Misty found herself thinking about how to do small talk with the woman that was holding her. She felt her steady heart beat like a drum that kept drawing her in and soon she started to focus on that. It made her forget about her desire to make small talk or any talk at all. Yawning big, the tiredness kicking in from the long day, Misty cuddled her lover better before receiving a kiss on the lips - one that was trying to be soft even when it lingered a bit too much to actually be a peck.

"Tomorrow we can talk," there was a hint of something she couldn't put her head on but she brushed it off as a side effect from the concoction Cordelia made Raleigh take - the same one that kept her mouth tasting like iron and flowers. "There's no rush, sweetcheeks."

If someone would have asked Raleigh about the current situation, she would have probably panicked the second the question would've dropped.

Maybe the changes were meant to be good but there were messing up with her brain in too many ways. She was supposed to grow from the discomfort, she was supposed to start enjoying the time she had missed, she was supposed to be an adult when she felt that she was just that eighteen years old girl she thought she was less than two months ago.

Misty, in her own bliss, didn’t see this however.

There was something in her that kept going for the new sensations, to be reciprocated by the other woman as much as she could and taking it fully, whatever it was.

The next day was a busy one, nonetheless, and the tiny exchanges kept happening in between meals and dark corners at the Academy. It was different, it was exciting, it was something new that made them both expect with anticipation their next encounter. Misty learnt about what Raleigh’s power could do, but never what it did directly to her; she learnt about her habits properly, yet she caught herself being slightly annoyed by them; she also learnt about what connected Raleigh with Cordelia, but didn’t dwell that much in the matter nor about how deep the wound was getting.

Raleigh, in her end, took shelter in Misty’s blissful ignorance. It made her almost forget all the bad things building inside of her; it made her not focus in the poor choices that were being made around her and make her head spin, her muted power warning her from the incoming doom. Looking at Misty smiling fired something in her chest and her whole being, wondering if she really deserved all the seemingly good things she meant.

Until Misty was gone and Cordelia sacrificed her new eyes in order to bring her back, Raleigh really thought that maybe she could escape from her own Hell on Earth.

But that was a story for another time.

Now it was much better to think about how Misty couldn’t help to finally fall into Raleigh’s arms, not having a chance anymore thanks to the need she herself had built in both but keeping everything lowkey. It was much easier to focus in how their bodies worked together, than how her minds did.

They had been practicing new spells, and the former only wanted to give the latter a reward kiss for her good job. The kiss had escalated too fast to be stopped and soon the Cajun witch was straddling Raleigh in the desk chair from her bedroom - the same one where she had found herself a couple days ago, telling the other to take everything slow.

With a muffled cry against Raleigh’s shoulder, Misty came undone, her body was still trembling from the climax when her lover hugged her tightly so she didn’t get cold. Her arms providing endless warmth and inviting her to just stay there for the rest of the afternoon, being cuddled and kissed and loved. A breathless low chuckle got Raleigh’s attention, but she didn’t open her eyes, just enjoying the feeling of Misty all over her, with her body, her magic, her everything.

“You knew this was goin’ to happen, right?”

Raleigh’s laugh shook her to her very own core, receiving a kiss on the lips from her not long after. One of those long kisses that made her feel like she was drowning and the other woman was her only saviour. One of those that made her lose her mind.

“Oh sugar, I didn’t need my power to know.”

She nuzzled her nose under Misty’s jaw to make her tilt a bit her neck and kiss her there. It was enough to make her giggle and forget about everything else.

#misty day #misty day x original character #raleigh ocean #ahs coven #american horror story #original character

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asterinjapan · 5 years ago

Text

Museum day

Good evening again from a rainy Tokyo!

Well, I think it’s dry now, but it’s been raining for most of the day, I assume due to whatever remains of tropical depression ex-typhoon number 20 of this year. And of course, there is a very easy option to do on a rainy day: visiting museums! Or well, just the one today, haha.

On a rainy day and a national holiday, I for sure wasn’t the only one with that idea, but since Ueno Park houses a ton of museums and a zoo and what not, the crowds still spread out.

So, follow me into the Tokyo National Museum of Nature and Science today!

Actually, I’ve been sort of intending to visit this museum since my very first visit in 2010, when a trip via school let me see a glimpse of the giant blue whale statue (life size!) that marks the entrance. However, visiting a museum is never first on my list when I go to Japan, simply because I want to do so many things. With today’s weather, I didn’t think one of my planned side trips into the mountains was such a good idea, so it was finally time.

As it turns out, entrance for the permanent exhibitions (there was no special one at the moment) was free today! Today is the enthronement of the emperor, so it’s a national holiday, and apparently also a reason to call off entry prices, haha. Once inside, I did get myself a tablet with audio guide, because with this being a broad museum on eh, nature and science, I was already fairly sure my limited vocabulary wouldn’t save me here. The tablet (or plain audio device, you could pick) was 320 yen, and it was extensive. It also offered you guides through the complex, so I picked out the longest one that would lead me through all floors. This was my day plan, after all!

First, I visited the Theater 36◯ (yeah, a circle, not a zero, they’re too cool for a simple zero). True to its name, it’s a movie theater with a screen in 360 degrees all around. You get a free audio device here for languages other than Japanese, and since only 60 people can be inside at once, it’s a wait until you can get in. I killed time by checking the introduction movies on my tablet (featuring a very cute animated triceratops girl), and then I was allowed in.

You stand on a bridge that features glass on both sides, so you can watch underneath. The theater has rotating screenings, and for October, the movie clips are the deep sea and the mantle dynamics and evolution of the Earth. I was actually most excited for the former, but ended up being most impressed by the latter. I think the deep sea clip has been here for longer, because the quality was slightly pixelated at some points. The mantle dynamics movie took you to the center of the earth, and zoomed in and out to a degree that I suddenly understood the warnings that some people might feel light-headed or motion sick here, haha. It’s not that bad, but this screening definitely tricked my brain.

After that, it was time to explore the museum proper! Actually, it consists of two buildings: the global gallery, with 3 floors in the basement and 3 floors on top, and the Japan gallery, which has 3 floors with two wings each. The route I had picked sent me to the first floor of the global gallery first, going up and then starting back down on the third floor basement, and then leading me through the Japan gallery from top to bottom.

The first floor of the global gallery immediately featured the skeleton of an Allosaurus, the first dinosaur to ever be exhibited in Japan, back in 1964. This hall features the history of the planet since the very beginning until, well, now, so that’s a lot to cover and gives a starting point for the rest of the building. It showed off biodiversity, an interactive Tree of Life display where you could follow the lines to see which organisms were linked to each other, and the development of human kind starting with the very first primates to go bipedal. It was a lot, and I noticed my guide skipped some numbers here, but I quickly found out that was on purpose. If you want to listen to all the audio guide points, you need at least two full days here.

I made my way up following the guide to the third floor, where there was an absolutely massive exhibition of specimens of all kinds of mammals and birds, including the in the wild extinct Japanese wolf and tons of deer, bears, other predators, you name it. This was overwhelming and a bit creepy (these animals did die at some point, quite probably due to hunting), but very interesting and it was pretty cool to see these animals that close. There was a play corner around the, eh, corner, for which you need to make reservations in advance, and where kids can play in a climbing construction that seemed to be littered with specimens as well (I assume replicas), so they could get a hands-on approach.

The second floor was dedicated to Japanese inventions starting in the 1600s, and the interaction with other countries that brought this around. There were direct comparisons between Japanese and European measuring devices, which was very interesting, because similar museums back in Europe wouldn’t do something like that due to the distance. Also featured here were the first computers, a replica of the Himawari satellite, Japanese clocks (which are distinctly different, because the time during days and nights was measured at a different pace) and a Global Environment detector, featuring a giant screen that you could interact with to draw up measuring results on all kinds of topics, sometimes even being the actual measurements of that moment. It’s a pretty interactive museum, so there is a lot to see and do.

At this point I took a break, to find out I’d already been wandering around for two hours! And I was barely getting started, oops. So I quickly went down to the basement to find an exhibition on ‘exploring the structure of nature’, or ‘that part where I’m really happy I rented a tablet in English, because I barely even know these terms in English’, haha. It was super interesting though, showcasing a model of a particle accelerator, and a ‘cloud chamber’ in which you could observe cosmic radiation hitting earth, and actual moon rocks and the periodic table with all elements (except the radioactive ones) on display.

Another floor up is one of the more impressive ones, as it houses tons of skeletons of animals throughout the ages, including the biggest mammoth and the earliest human. They had some scarily realistic reconstructions of early humans, so lifelike that I was almost fooled into thinking they were actually people dressing up, haha.

One more floor up is one of the more popular floors, for a very easy reason: dinosaurs! There were quite a few on display, and I never fail to be impressed by the sheer size and variety of them. Not much to say here I guess, except me having a good time because dinosaurs, haha.

I made it back to the Japan gallery (the building I had started in) and after some latte, I carried myself to the third floor. I must confess I started rushing from now on, since it was already 3 PM, but this building is considerably smaller and the guide has fewer, if longer, audio spots. This building is, of course, more dedicated to the Japanese natural history, and guides you through the animals found in Japan’s waters until you find yourself facing a plesiosaurus, Futabasaurus, the first of its kind to be found in Japan. It’s reconstructed as if it’s swimming over your head, very impressive.

One floor down showcases the variety of animals found on the Japanese islands, and one of my favourites: Japanese people throughout the ages, starting in the Jomon period and ending in the Edo era (or the present, if you choose to go stand in the last spot, haha). These featured mannequins in daily life situations that were very realistic, I assume they used the same techniques as in wax museums, because I was seriously impressed, wow.

Near the end of this hall, a group of people had gathered to take pictures. You see, there was another very popular display: Hachiko. Yep, the same dog whose statue sits outside Shibuya station and of which I take a picture every time, so naturally I had to take a picture of the real deal. It’s almost weird to see him in white, his actual color, because the statue is cast in bronze. Hachiko is famous enough to get 2 plaques in English, rather than just a single line translated, haha.

On the first floor, you’ll find instruments from Japan used to throughout the ages to observe nature, including the very important ones of observing seismographic activity, rather vital in a country this active.

Finally, I was back in the basement, which has Foucault’s pendulum and uh, not much else, but I was kind of glad, because I was seriously tired and overwhelmed at this point. I learnt a whole lot today, and actually feel this is a museum you might want to visit in two trips rather than trying to stuff it all into one. I had a great time, though! I took a lot more pictures than I usually do in museums, there was just so much to see.

Of course there is a museum shop, and of course it has a special corner for Hachiko, and uh, now I have a plushie Hachiko, haha. He’s very soft and a very good boy!

It was almost 5 PM, though, so I rushed out and took a quick picture of the whale statue outside before making my way back to the station. The rain had stopped, so I walked from Ikebukuro station to Tokyu Hands to browse until dinner time, which meant I found their origami paper section, so I had a good time here, too, ahem.

Back at the hotel now, and time to go to bed, because it’ll be a long day tomorrow! It should be dry and even sunny, so fingers crossed, haha.

I’m not sure if I will update tomorrow, so for now good night and see you soon!

#report #report: japan 2019 #japan 2019

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unofficialrivermonsters · 6 years ago

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Interview by Jim Pettiward | Posted 19 MARCH 2019

Q: Was there a moment you realised that a lot of rivers you were spending time on were in trouble, or was it more of a gradual realisation? JW: A bit of both, really. It has been gradual, but there have also been moments where it’s really hit home.

Right from the start, I was aware that for the kind of fish I was looking for, it wasn’t just that people weren’t going and fishing for them, it was actually that these fish were disappearing because of all the damage that has been done to rivers in recent years.

One experience that really brought it home was the last time I went to the Congo. I was in a place on the Congo River where very few outsiders go, somewhere with a very low population density. I went to one village where people have a history of fishing for catfish and the scarcity of these fish – we’re talking about the main Congo here – really struck me. It is shocking to see the impact that even a small human population can have on fish.

Q: Why do you think that freshwater is something of a ‘cinderella issue’, and doesn’t get the attention that, for example, tropical forests or coral reefs get?

JW: I think it boils down to two things. Firstly, you can’t see the animals you’re talking about – or at least most people can’t – so it’s a lack of visibility. And then, if you do get to see them, a lot of freshwater fish are not great looking!

I used to do quite a bit of diving and I always wanted to be diving in rivers, where you’re generally not going to see very far. Most divers are interested in coral reefs and other marine environments, so people used to wonder why I was so keen to see brown fish in brown water! It’s true that a lot of freshwater fish aren’t all that exciting visually, but in fact there are some incredible looking fish out there in rivers and lakes, even if we don’t often get to see them. Something like the arapaima, in the Amazon, for example, get this incredible red colouration. I’ve seen individuals in breeding season where the body goes absolutely jet black, but then they have this vivid red on the edge of the scales. They’re amazing looking things, but most people would never see that. If they do see them, it’s because a fisherman has caught one and is cutting it up.

Then there are other freshwater species that just look very odd indeed. For example, the Goonch catfish in India looks like something out of the imagination of Hieronymus Bosch, it’s like a giant slug, has tentacles hanging off all different parts of its body and huge spiky teeth. I don’t think we make enough of how unique and bizarre many of these species actually are.

Q: In a way, it’s similar to what you see with some of the deep-sea species, and all the amazing creatures that live in the ocean depths. The fascination is often precisely because of how extraordinary – and how ugly (to some) – they look.

JW: Yes, there seems to be a spectrum: you’ve got the pretty fish, then you’ve got the ordinary looking fish, which nobody is really interested in, but once you start shading into the ugly fish, the interest picks up again!

Q: It is not always easy to recognise the importance and relevance of the world’s great rivers and lakes to our health and wellbeing, wherever we live. Why should people care about freshwater systems on the other side of the planet?

JW: Absolutely, I think it’s a very abstract subject and difficult to get across. From my point of view, having a scientific background, you understand the water cycle, you know that it’s not one particular river, in isolation, but that in fact water circulates throughout the world, and passes through every one of us. Just as many of us have a strong interest in air quality, we should have the same interest in water quality. The great thing about fish is that their presence in water generally tells you that the water is OK. But to get this across in a way that is not overly scientific is difficult. I think you almost do it by stealth.

If you can get people interested in the fish, which I hope I do through the programmes I make, the idea is that people start to care more about those fish and, by extension, about the water and the habitat they live in, and they begin to understand that protecting these fish and habitats is ultimately in their own interest too.

Q: Having visited so many of the world’s great rivers, is there one that particularly stands out?

JW: Hmm. That’s such a hard one, actually. There’s not a short answer to that. If you’d asked me a few years ago, I would have said the Essequibo river in Guyana. The fauna and flora there is very Amazonian. Even though it’s a distinct watershed, historically it was joined up, so you’ve got a lot of Amazonian fish there. To have a realistic chance of catching certain big Amazonian fish, that was the place to go because the river had enjoyed a degree of protection, and it was possible to find some incredible fish there. Unfortunately in the last few years, that has changed quite dramatically, largely due to a surge in goldmining. The mining isn’t just affecting the goldmining areas. What’s happening now is that it is worth people’s while to get an icebox and make the long journey up the river, catch a lot of fish and go back down and sell them to the goldminers. Unfortunately – and this is very relevant in terms of what Shoal is trying to do – this decline is going on right before our eyes and getting very little attention, and it’s happening fast, really just in the last 5 years.

Q: What are some of the things you’ve learnt from the people who have fished these places for generations?

JW: From talking to fishermen in different parts of the world, I’ve been struck by how common it is now to hear things like, “You know, 100 years ago this river was full of fish…”. People often talk about the scale of change over a – relatively short – timescale of a few generations.

One thing that is very clear is that catching freshwater fish is dependent on place and timing. Being in the right place is one thing, but you also have to be there at the right time of year. If you’re there at the wrong time you might as well not bother. Of course, there’s always a bit of uncertainty about what state the river is going to be in, and a certain amount of variation. But what I’ve found, just about everywhere I’ve been, especially over the last 10 years or so – everywhere from the far East of Russia to South America, through Europe and Africa – is that people are saying the whole cycle has become far more unpredictable. What’s interesting is that these people are not scientists. These are people whose lives depend on the river, people who are watching the river very closely, people who have inherited knowledge of what happens on that river. They say that over the last 10 years, they just can’t predict it any more. So, of course, this affects the fish.

You can imagine fish migrations where the river is going up so the fish start to head upstream, only for the water to suddenly start coming back down again, without ever properly rising. I’ve seen a similar thing with freshwater turtles in Guyana. The river starts going down, exposing the sandbars so the turtles think it’s time to breed, dig a nest and lay their eggs, then they get back in the river and it starts coming up again, washing away the nests! It’s another false start to the dry season.

So this really is happening, and perhaps one way to engage people in climate change is to show how it affects certain animals. People seem to love turtles, so if turtles come under the remit of Shoal, then I think that could be an interesting leverage point.

Q: I think the aim for Shoal is ultimately to try to increase support for all freshwater species, so turtles would certainly come under its remit. So, do you think the key to drawing people in is to focus on the more ‘iconic’ species, and particularly the apex predators, as you often do in your shows?

JW: Well, I guess it could be seen as a fairly cheap trick, in a way, but what I’ve realised – and this is part of the DNA of River Monsters – is that everybody is fascinated by predators. If they tell you otherwise, they’re lying! For our ancestors, it was all about paying attention to those things in the environment that were dangerous, so it’s absolutely fundamental to who we are as living beings. For River Monsters, we start with a story – here’s this fierce animal that bites people – and we immediately have people’s attention. Then, from there, we can take the story wherever we want it to go.

Q: Anglers are clearly an important audience for your programmes. What role do you think anglers can – and should – play in freshwater conservation?

JW: Anglers have an incredibly important role as the eyes and ears of what is out there. By teaming up with scientists and through citizen science initiatives, they can be a very useful resource in helping to understand what is happening to rivers and lakes. But on a more fundamental level, an angler’s pastime depends on fish, so it really should be a duty to have a concern for the wider world of fish.

It’s about having a respect for freshwater fish and to express that in as many ways as possible. I think some anglers don’t particularly care, but an awful lot do. I think there are enough anglers who care to make a huge difference.

Q: What attracted you to Shoal?

JW: I get lots of requests to attend events or promote particular things, and it’s often difficult because of time. But the reason I wanted to support Shoal is right there in your Mission Statement: you have identified a void. Here is this freshwater habitat, and a group of creatures which is very important to me – and which has given me something of a career – that in terms of wider public interest just doesn’t get the attention it deserves. While there are countless campaigns to try to help other wildlife and wild places, poor old freshwater fish seem to miss out!

One of the reasons River Monsters was very successful was because here was a subject that hadn’t really been covered before in wildlife documentaries. It’s something that people didn’t know very much about, which in some ways is an advantage, because if you can find a good way to do it, then it’s really something new for people.

I think what freshwater conservation needs now – and some people are starting to wake up to this – is for the level of support to be brought into line with what you’ve got for tigers, pandas, orangutans and all the other species and habitats that get most of the attention, and I think Shoal is one way to start to do this.

Q: What gives you hope and optimism for the future of freshwater fish and freshwater environments more generally?

JW: Well, in making the series Mighty Rivers, what we were looking for was not just ‘doom and gloom’ but also some of the good news stories. Of course, if there had been no good news stories, then that would have been depressing, but actually if you look, there are quite a lot of positive stories out there. There are things happening in different places – often quite small things, but with great potential.

One example would be the scientists I met in India who have developed a way of seeing pollution in the water by flying over the river using infrared photography. It’s also been inspiring to see how extractive reserves are being used in some parts of Brazil. These reserves are a kind of halfway house where it’s not a free for all, or the type of reserve where you kick everyone out. In these reserves, people can continue to harvest what they need from the environment and the idea is not to stop that, but instead to look at helping people to continue doing it in sustainable ways through local management – the local communities take responsibility for this. I saw how successful this approach could be with arapaima, this iconic fish from the Amazon. While it is true that arapaima is a particularly fast-growing species, so it was perhaps easier, as a model this is certainly something to aspire to.

Q: Last question: Say you turn up at a place you’ve never visited before, looking for a particular fish, and you could only ask either a scientist or a local where to find it, who would you ask and why?

JW: That’s an easy one – I’ll ask the local! Ok, they might not have the studies and paperwork to back it up, but for people who fish, it’s all about observing the water – their livelihood depends on it. There is a really strong incentive to understand the water. If you’re a scientist, you know, you can walk away and write a paper and even if nobody understands what you’re talking about, this doesn’t mean you’re out of a job. For people fishing the river, it’s their lives on the line. And the locals are really amateur scientists anyway. A lot of their knowledge – not just in terms of the history of a river or place, but also fish behaviour – is not written down. Maybe somebody needs to write it down while it’s still there. It would be a huge project but it would provide an incredibly valuable record. In a sense, the important thing, for me, is that there is no hard boundary between this local knowledge and the science. One type of knowledge shades into the other and good scientists understand that and are dependent on local knowledge.

Thank you, and thanks for your support for Shoal!

#river monsters #jeremy wade #dark waters #mighty rivers #unofficialrivermonsters #2019 #interviews

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happyhollow-mellowmarsh · 4 years ago

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“Hey, everyone! We’re back with another interview with my friends! This time we’re hanging out at Whimsy’s sky castle, and lemme just say this place is cool as heck!” This YouTube video doesn’t have any intro at all, cold opening with the camera panning around a regal-looking white room.

Completing its 360, the camera alights upon a young woman with short teal hair, futuristic gray clothing, and a witch’s hat. A microphone levitates near her, picking up her words. “As always, I’m Erika Ljunggren, psychic YouTuber and Trouble’s apprentice. Introduce yourselves, you two!”

With a gesture from Erika L’s skinny metal wand, the camera pans over and back to reveal two other women sitting on the couch behind her. The microphone darts over to them as well. A tall brunette with a spiky crown and a shorter woman with a big hat, a scarf, and an apron, both wearing glasses.

The former gets up from her seat, poses, teleports a few feet in the air and then lands in another pose, loudly announcing in her monotone "I'm the magical girl of the cosmos, Kimoto Erika, apprentice of Whimsy."

The latter, on the other hand, remains in her seat and watches. After giggling quietly at Erika K's antics, she looks back to the camera. "H-Hello... My name is... R-Rada Orlov... I'm... Beacon's apprentice..." She gives a little wave.

Erika L welcomes them both with a grin.

Then, turning to Erika K, the YouTuber asks, “What’s it like apprenticing under Whimsy?”

"It’s lots of fun, and I’m learning lots. I like it here,” she responds “I’m very grateful to Miss Trick, Mr Treat, and Miss Trouble for everything they’ve done for me to be here. And I’m extremely grateful to Boss for giving me this opportunity. The castle is really cool."

She pauses for a moment, leaning her head back slightly before tipping it forwards once more. "Boss is a really skilled witch, so I've been able to cover a lot of ground under them. I think that I made the best choice for me." The corners of her lips quirk upwards into a slight smile.

Erika L then turns to Rada, the microphone moving gently over with her gaze. “What’s it like apprenticing under Beacon?”

"It's been... r-really nice... Granny Beacon is... a-amazing..." Rada fidgets with end of her scarf, drawing the long material up into her lap. "I, um... u-used to be... m-more nervous... than I am now and... s-scared of a lot... of different things... b-but... sh-she's been... very patient with me... a-and she's taught me... a lot... b-both as an apprentice... a-and as a person..."

“What have the two of you been up to lately, magic-wise? Any fun projects in the works?” asks Erika L.

Erika K hums, holding her hands up, index fingers and thumbs pointing outwards towards the ceiling far corners. "I’ve been experimenting with combo-ing my elements. Trying to get them working together can be a bit tricky, depending on which ones I'm trying with. I’ll get there eventually though."

Flicking her wrists, her hands now spread fully chop down diagonally. "Also, with Mr Elliot’s help, I’ve forged a holy blade that shimmers with stardust." She leans forwards and holds a hand up beside her mouth dropping her voice just slightly. "When the goddesses approve of a strike it deals extra secret damage."

"I've also been... practicing with... combining elements..." Rada adds, nodding along with what Erika K says. "It can... b-be difficult... but also fun... seeing what kind... of different effects... are possible... i-if you just... put your mind to it..."

"A-As for, um, projects... I don't think... a-anything I'm doing is... a-as exciting as Miss Kimoto, but..." Rada bites her bottom lip for a moment in hesitation before continuing. "I've, um... I've been working on... a spell that... m-makes it easier for... spirits to communicate with... a-and interact with... th-their loved ones... s-so that a ghost... a-and their family or friends... h-have a chance... to grieve together... Th-Then they can... pass on peacefully... a-and the people still living... h-have closure..."

“I mean, that’s pretty cool too! Just, y’know, in a different way!” Erika L nods approvingly. “Speaking of elements and combos thereof, what are your favorites that you've learned so far?”

Erika K steeples her fingers and places her elbows on her knees, resting her chin on her hands as she leans forwards. "Mh.... I think I still like Celestial best. I think it’s always going to be my favourite, there's so much you can do with it. But teleporting has been really handy too. Trying to combine both with Space for Special Warping is a bit trickier, but I’m failing good so I can figure it out. I like all the magic I've learnt though, Earth makes me feel like a strong bender from the western eastern based anime. I'm hoping to try and see if sand and metal still fall under its belt or if I'll need to expand my roster first."

The mic darts back to Rada. "I, um... r-really like working with Emotion magic... a-and I'm having a lot of fun with Music magic as well... Combining the two together... c-can be powerful... e-emotionally, that is, um... s-since music can... affect people... so much... A-Although Music and... L-Life magic is... a-also fun... l-like in, um... th-the cartoon with... th-the magic mouse... a-and the mops..." She tugs up the edge of her scarf, looking embarrassed. Way to out yourself for recreating The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Rada.

Erika K murmurs a little "I know that western anime," nodding along with Rada's words. She leans back into her seat, her lips quirking into a smile. "Death magic is still just a bud, but thanks to Rada I'd already started thinking of the sort of expanded uses for it. I even know some I wouldn't have thought of beforehand. I think learning a magic that one of us has already learnt is extra fun because it means we get to work together, and with peer reviews and sessions we can learn faster and better. And we get to hang out at the same time."

Although Rada’s mouth is covered, the corners of her eyes crinkle with a smile as Erika K talks about Death magic. "Y-Yes... I like... h-having magic... w-we can both do... I-It's a lot... easier to learn things... wh-when we're working together... a-and think of things... th-that I wouldn't consider... o-on my own..." Rada shifts in place before continuing. "I have a... b-better understanding of it... s-since starting to learn... Life magic... I-It's not as... s-scary or violent... It's... natural..." She adds, feeling like she needs to defend it.

Another nod from the interviewer. “Nice, nice! There’s so many elements out there, and each one is so versatile! And that’s not even everything a witch has at their disposal, either. Tell me about your wands!”

Shifting her posture into something more alert, Erika K claps once, a big smile on her face. She opens her purse and pulls her wand out. The act itself is comical, with the contrast in the size of the wand versus the purse itself. Thank you Space Magic. She balances the wand on her flat palms above her head, smiling brightly.

"Last Laugh is super cool. I can fly on it, it has a detachable strap for easy carrying, and it makes a really good prop for physical comedy. It's got really good range as a prop, and it's nice and sturdy. Plus I can do this with it-" Hopping out of her seat she begins to twirl the gun shaped wand around, although for only a short while. Once done she drops back down resting her wand on her lap. "Also I can use it to fire off magic easier then-" She flexes, "these guns."

"It s-suits you..." Rada mumbles, the curve of her cheeks still visible above the edge of her scarf tinged with pink, which only deepens when Erika K flexes.

"M-Mine is, um... m-more specialized, I th-think... th-than Miss Kimoto's..." Rada squeaks as she pulls out her wand from a pocket beneath her apron.

In comparison to the rifle-wand, the one Rada holds up is tiny and thin, only a foot in length. The white porcelain lily-of-the-valley plant is fragile-looking, with blood red enamel filling in the gaps where the vase-like handle is cracked, and tiny red gemstones lining the rims of the bell flowers as well as the veins of its skeletal silver leaves.

"It helps me... protect myself o-or... other people... i-if things are going badly... a-and I've been hurt..." She explains, bringing it closer to her chest as she nibbles on her bottom lip. "I was nervous at first... th-that it would break but... i-it's stronger than it looks..."

“Wow, they’re both so cool, huh? Thanks again for agreeing to come out here today, you two.” Erika L brings the camera in close, beaming at the viewer. “Remember, folks, we can only do so much with magic alone. Think about what you can do to help the environment. What your government can do. We’re making progress, with everyone’s help!”

Special thanks to Saga, Cherry, and Mel for writing this post!

Happy Hollow: Mellow Marsh is a tumblr submission trials game with Discord ooc and a Discord thread server, and the sequel game to Happy Hollow. This game is 18+ with the exception of returning players. We will be accepting a cast of 16-18 people including mod ocs, and characters should be aged 16-24. The events of the previous game are not public knowledge to characters, so catching up on the last game is not necessary!

Apps close on April 12th. That’s only two weeks away!! A three day extension is available if you ask a mod through dm.

About || How to play || Application || FAQ || Hopefuls || Hopefuls chat

#fanganronpa #mkg rp #dr oc group #danganronpa oc #dr oc rp #promo post

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shadowsfascination · 7 years ago

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YAAU - Chapter eleven - Breather

The foggy morning clouds that hung low into the forest of Angel Island along with the last raindrops glittering in the light of the sun that shone behind the clouds, left a fairytale like scenery on the mystical place. Rain had been coming down non-stop for the last 24 hours until it finally stopped pouring down this morning. A red echidna was sitting on the steps of a familiar staircase. He was soaked, but didn’t seem to care since he was used to it. He was the guardian of the Master Emerald and had been for a really long time. It was a job he was proud at and he felt responsible for it. “Hey there, Knuckles.” A cheerful voice resounded through the early, fresh, yet damp morning air and the echidna opened his eyes. “Good morning Toma.” “I’m sorry you had such a storm during your shift, man.” The echidna shrugged his shoulders in a laconic way. “I’ve been through worse.” The other person took in the image of Knuckles’ attitude in admiration. “Anyway: you’re off duty. You can go home and rest for a couple of days.” Knuckles rose from his position on the stairs and stretched his legs and arms since they were cramped from sitting in the same position for a long time. He felt his butt and feet tingle from the lack of a decent blood circulation, waited it bit for the feeling to come back to it and walked down the stairs while saluting his co-worker that took over. When the war against the A.R. started four years ago, a feeling of nationalism lit a spark in many Mobians’ hearts, wanting to protect their planet, their freedom and their way of living. As a result of that, a lot of Mobians started to gain interest in the history of their planet and the many legends that were connected to it and so it happened that a small group of young Mobians began to spend more time on Angel Island. At first, they were just visiting the island out of interest, but as time moved on, their interest in the floating island turned into dedication. The group eventually built some houses for themselves and settled on the island, something the guardian of the island wasn’t particularly happy about. He lectured them about this being a sacred place and told them to get off the island. The group refused to leave and told the guardian about their wish to contribute to the safety of the Master Emerald. Knuckles warded off their intention of doing so, but the members of the group continued to live there. The red echidna was about to resort to violence to make sure that they’d leave but they refused to fight him and he left them alone, hoping that they’d get bored in the end, but they turned out to have a very strong will and dedication to stay. They gradually got involved with Knuckles’ business around the Master Emerald by helping him out. In the end they gained the guardian’s trust and they proved him worthy of contributing to keeping the Master Emerald safe and they came up with a schedule that showed who was supposed to do what task around the island, including guarding the altar. And so, the hotheaded Knuckles headed to his second home on South Island to spend some time with his friends. After the hedgehogs clashed two weeks ago, things had been stable and everyone was able to breathe again. Even though, the situation left its’ scars on everybody in their own way. Sonic and Shadow had been going to individual therapy to learn to cope with the things that happened and it wasn’t easy. Both of them kept having nightmares and Sonic was impressed by how dark things could get and how vulnerable he’d felt. He had been confronted with the fact that he was perishable and it was a scary feeling. Tails had been worried about Sonic and was scared off by the fact that even Sonic could be broken. His brother, the one he looked up to in so many ways. Broken. Even now it sometimes still seemed surreal. Knuckles just kept doing his own thing but had been thinking about everything that happened the last weeks on his own, reflecting by himself as he guarded the Master Emerald. As for Shadow: there were times where he’d freeze up at someone’s touch, especially in the dark and he zoned out from time to time. He would grow tired easier than before and Amy was having nightmares herself as well about losing the ones she cherished most. On top of that there was Jayde. Or actually: there wasn’t, because she had shown very little interest in Amy during this disaster and Amy was fed up with her. Luckily she was able to spend a lot of time with her friends right now and she was happy to be with Shadow again. She looked over her shoulder and caught a glimpse of him and Sonic as they were practicing new tricks with their Chaos energy as he agreed to do so earlier, but it was proven once again that he wasn’t a patient being, something Sonic and he had in common. To be able to do this, Sonic and he had to get back their Chaos energy in the first place since it was temporarily being stored in Tails’ translucent box due to the gotten out of hand-fight. “Okay, guys. Let’s do this!” Tails stated at Sonic and Shadow through the speakers in the training room the young fox had designed several months ago. It had been his special project and he’d finished it a couple of months ago. He created a device, similar to virtual reality helmets – only he had connected the device, shaped like a chip, with their contacting devices, connected to their inhibitors. When he sent out a request to the device, the receiver would have to accept it and when they did, they were being sent into a room that Tails could redesign over and over again. This time the room was plain white and had grey walls, existing from special fibers that had the ability to ward of energy, so that the Chaos Energy would not leave this very room. “Let’s roll” Sonic added and Shadow nodded in agreement. “I’ll open the box on the count of three. We’ll have to separate the energy first. One. Two. Three.” The box opened and nothing happened, leaving Sonic somewhat confounded, Shadow ready for everything to happen and Tails suspicious. “Is this even the right box, Tails?” He asked after nothing happened in a minute or so. “Of course it is.” “Doesn’t seem like it to m-“ Suddenly the box exploded and the energy squirted around the room at high speed and they could see the mixture of red and blue Chaos Energy aimlessly flying through the room, bouncing at the walls. It gained speed with every hit on the wall and reacted to the hedgehog´s readiness to attack it by becoming more aggressive. “Ready?” “You bet!” The hedgehogs locked eyes and nodded in agreement without phrasing their strategy as they didn’t need to and never had. They closed their eyes, lowered their heart rate, opened their palms and put pressure on them to draw in their energy, but it was reluctant to separate. It shaped itself like a ball and spindashed at them and they jumped away to avoid it. “It’s copying our attacks.” “Been there, done that. Follow my lead.” Sonic shouted at Shadow trying to overcome the noise from the crackling, aggressive energy. Something the blue blur learnt from battling against Emerl, was that it might help if they switched while attacking it so it wouldn’t be able to copy multiple attacks at once. Sonic jumped forward, aiming for it, with a clenched fist. “NOW!” Shadow jumped before him and kicked it into a corner, but it bounced back at him, smashing him to a corner himself. Standing up again, Shadow had enough. “Let me try something, Sonic.” “What are you thinking of?” “CHAOS CONTROL!” At that sound, time stopped and he signaled something to Sonic. They both attacked the energy, counted down from ten and made sure to touch the energy that was theirs. On the count of zero the energy was absorbed back into them with quite a shock and smashed each of them into a different corner of the room. Tails brought them back into reality and Shadow started teaching Sonic new tricks with their Chaos energy. “I’m glad it worked out in the end,” Miles stated, thinking back at how they settled things with the Chaos energy. “Totally. The odds are with us for once,” Amy added. “Not like that, faker!” Her attention was drawn to the hedgehogs again. A groan escaped the blue hedgehog’s mouth as Shadow snored at him in a fierce way. Yes, he wanted to learn those tricks Shadow pulled off before, but not like this. Shadow was getting on his nerves. “First, you step back, holding your right hand in a punching position and your left hand near your chest. Yes- then you step forward and draw the circle with the right hand and-.” “Hey there, guys!” “Do not interfere with our training.” Shadow replied abrupt to the red echidna’s greeting, who frowned and the others that were on the porch of Tail’s house, playing cards. “Hey there, Knuckles!” Sonic called. “Focus, Sonic!” “SHADOW the Hedgehog! Stop being an ass, right now!” Amy shouted at Shadow. “Hmph.” The black hedgehog folded his arms and ignored his girlfriends’ commentary- an unwise thing to do. “Mind your own business, Amy”, he added. Amy grunted at him. Sonic drew the young woman’s attention and signaled something to her which made her smile. “One more time So-“ Shadow wasn’t able to finish this sentence for he was knocked over and shoved over the ground by a powerful gust. Crawling up he looked agitated, an expression he was showing often. Amy giggled at him. “Now, how was that?” Sonic phrased in an amused way. “Very funny.” “I thought it was funny.” His girlfriend said. “Say it like you mean it.” Sonic held out a hand towards Shadow while proudly smiling at him. The black hedgehog gave him a sarcastic glance, grabbed Sonic’s hand and rose. Amy had walked towards them and wrapped her arms around Shadow from behind, who stiffened up and seemingly remained stoic at the public display of her affection. “Shall we go?” She asked him. “Go where?” “What do you mean? You were the one who wanted to take me somewhere tonight.” “Heh? Uh... Oh! Right! Let's go, Ames. Hold on to me.” She hopped onto his back and he ran off, leaving the others behind. “Where are we going?” she questioned, having to lift her voice, caught in a shout, due to the noise of the wind. “I'm not telling you! Can you close you eyes?” “Hm!” She agreed and closed her eyes, her muzzle decorated with a smile that showed her joy of being like this. Shadow would often lift her in his arms or let her sit on his shoulders while running so fast and she enjoyed the feeling of the wind, bristling against her quills and the power that was released from his velocity- almost transcendent. There was nothing that could ever knock them down. She felt his speed slowly fade into a slower pace and he gradually came to a stop. “Can I open my eyes now?” “I was going to have you keep them closed for the entire evening with no reason.” “What?” Amy shouted, her tone decorated with awe and annoyance and she opened her eyes – the view was so stunning, it took her breath away. Countless ivory flowers covered in the silver light of the rising moon above this lake, surrounded by hills and mountains. It was amazing and she instantly forgot about the reason she opened her eyes in the first place. “It's beautiful...”

“I know.” “Thank you for bringing me here.”

#yaau #Young adults alternate universe #shadow the hedgehog #Amy Rose #Amy Rose the Hedgehog #Shadamy #Shadamylove #Shadamy romance #Sonic fanfiction #sonic the hedgehog #Knuckles the Echidna #Miles Tails Prower #Shadowsfascination

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cloudchaserandflitterexplain · 7 years ago

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Cloudchaser and Flitter Explain: Tri-colour Decks

Probably that second one.

We have Tri-colour cards now, Flits! Tri-colour!

Which has so many interesting implications. How many tri-colour cards will there be? Will they all be songs? How do you even cram this into a deck? Tri-colour is pretty hard for aggro, after all, but maybe there’s a good way?

I can’t wait to try building around this!

Hehe, it’s fun to see you so excited.

Too bad the set is still a week away…

I want to start building now!

Well, why not?

Because I want to wait for the new cards. Making something I know is going to be outdated quickly just doesn’t work well for me.

Hrm well, instead of that why don’t we…

Hi everypony! Today we’re going to talk about tips and tricks for building a three or more colour deck!

Wah? We’re going to do this now?

Sure, why not?

Since we know Seaquestria and Beyond will have at least one three-colour card, I’m sure there’s plenty of ponies thinking “but how can I even put this in my deck? All my decks are only one or two colours!”

Hence today’s topic.

Hrm, okay. That makes sense, I guess.

Now like I said, most decks focus on only one or two colours, and there are plenty of strengths to doing that!

Yeah. Adding more colours to your deck makes it less consistent since you need to have your entry match up with your other cards in order to do anything. Similarly, most 2 colour combos have a strategy that works well enough without the need to add a third one.

So there’s a pretty good argument for just sticking to one or two colours.

But that’s okay, because there are some good reasons to dive into three or more colours as well!

The biggest of which is it gives you more options. Each colour does different things and has different cards available to it. So by adding an extra colour to your deck, you’re increasing the number of things you can possibly do.

Let’s take Blue/Pink aggro for example. This was pretty popular during Defenders of Equestria. It was fast, had lots of ways to disrupt the opponent, and could even bypass some defenses.

That being said, it had a lot of weaknesses as well. It had no way of dealing with the opponent’s removal, and sometimes it even had a lot of trouble just trying to bypass a single troublemaker.

Now the second problem could maybe be fixed a little with a few card changes. But the first? There’s really no way for Blue or Pink to handle that situation.

Which is where a third colour comes in!

What if we took our Blue/Pink deck and added a few yellow cards? Yellow has a few ways to protect your friends, especially the new Brian card, and is also really good at getting around troublemakers without setting yourself back.

Plus you’d gain access to that awesome new Song.

A nice side benefit, to be sure!

In short, adding an additional colour allows you to overcome some of the weaknesses your deck might have by just being in two colours!

Of course, there are other reasons to open into a third colour as well. Sometimes you might have a specific card combo you want to play with, but the only way is by playing three or more colours. Like the three Forever a Crusader cards.

Or maybe you’re building something wacky and three or more colours is where you naturally wound up. There’s tons of reasons!

Now before you jump into making a three or more colour deck, you should realize that there is a major cost to this. Namely, the more colours you try to support, the more your entry suffers as a result.

One colour decks frequently don’t need to worry about entry at all, as their Mane will provide that just fine provided you make it easy to flip her.

And for two colour decks, the Mane provides one colour, and all their entry is devoted to their second colour. Thus with just their 8 or 9 entry cards, they have access to every card in their deck! Or close to it, anyway.

But for tri-colour? ...That’s difficult to do.

Most decks like Friends as their entry, since friends are power you can use turn after turn, and they help you confront.

However, there aren’t very many Friends that can help you play cards in multiple different colours. The Smooze: Wobbling Blob is the only one I can think of, and he costs 4, which is a lot for entry. Plus you have to remember to change his colour at the start of the turn, before you draw your card.

So you can’t really use quite the same strategy as you would for a two-colour deck… The cards just don’t exist for it yet.

Instead, you have to be a little more creative!

Now Wandering Blob may be the only Friend right now that can change its colour on command, but there are still plenty of other friends that can provide entry into multiple colours.

Kevin is a great example, as he can be whatever colour you want when you play him! And like most common entry, he only costs 2 AT. A pretty solid choice all-around for all your tri-colour deck needs!

And of course there’s always Changeling Citizens and Flim & Flam: Shams as well, if you’re looking for more Friends like Kevin.

Of course, Friends aren’t the only way to fix into multiple colours. And, in fact, the best tri-colour tool isn’t a friend at all.

Singing Barrel is an amazing card for dipping into a third colour. Since it’s repeatable colour fixing, but only costs 1 AT each time. And assuming your Mane is flipped, that’s 3 power in as many colours as you need.

Now some people get confused by this. Since Singing Barrel mentions returning a Pony Tones Friend to your hand. But in actuality, you don’t need any other Pony Tones to return Barrel to your hand.

See, putting Barrel into your hand is a cost. And you can pay costs to try and do the ability, in this case putting a Pony Tone Friend into its owner’s hand. But if you can’t? The game just does as much of the ability as possible.

Even if in this case, that’s nothing.

This is true for all sorts of abilities, but that’s a topic for a completely different day, really. For now, just remember you can return Barrel to your hand without any PonyTones in play.

And it’s awesome. It makes Singing Barrel probably the best non-friend entry in the game.

Especially if playing three or more colours.

Yup. So I highly recommend running two or three if playing tri-colour.

Of course, there’s a few other good cards too.

Trading Traditions gives you a second colour right out the gate. But since you choose which colour your Mane gains after mulliganing, you can choose which colour is best for your needs depending on your hand!

Likewise Queen Chrysalis: Changeling Pretender and Twilight Sparkle: Friendship is Magic can both give you a second colour pretty easily, which is very handy for playing three colours.

And if you combine Trading Traditions with either of those Manes, you can wind up with three colours super easily!

Yeah, there’s lots of ways to build a three-colour entry base. It’s just a matter of choosing the one that’s right for your deck.

Though Trading Traditions is almost always a good bet. Especially if you have powerful 1+1 req multicolour Friends in your colours, since they can double as entry.

Now there’s one last concept we want to share with you all: splashing.

This is when you only play a small number of cards of another colour. Like three or four.

When splashing, you don’t need to worry about entry for that colour nearly as much as your primary colours since you only have a few cards in that colour.

Like if I had only three Yellow cards in my Pink/Blue deck, I wouldn’t need a full 8 ways to get to that Yellow, right? Chances are by the time I drew my Yellow cards,i’d have already drawn 2 or more yellow entry. Which is a bit much.

Instead, you can get away with only having a few cards that enter into that colour. For example just Singing Barrels or just Kevins, since they function as entry for your secondary colour just fine and can also be used for your splash colour if needed.

Now sometimes your splash entry and your splash cards won’t quite line up and you’ll have cards in your hand you can’t or don’t want to play…

But for some decks? That’s worth the risk! And the only way to find out is to experiment!

Exactly.

That being said… tri-colour decks aren’t for everyone. It’s a balancing act some people would rather just not deal with.

And that’s fine! There’s nothing wrong with two and one colour decks, after all. So play what you want to play!

But if you’re the type who likes experimenting with new things…

Tri-colour decks can be very rewarding when built well. There’s a reason we’ve seen an increase in tri-colour decks lately, after all. So I highly encourage trying them out to see if they work for you.

And if not…

Well, at least you tried! And maybe even learnt something new.

For sure.

Well, that’s all for now! Hopefully now you’re primed with the knowledge of how to make a tri-colour deck.

Or even more than three colours, if you want! Most of this advice also works for four, five, or even six colour decks!

Yeah, cause a six colour deck is going to perform well at all.

Maybe not...

But I’m not going to let that stop me. Six colour is the way of the future!

Heh. Whatever you say, you goofball.

But what’s even more important is now everypony is ready to handle Seaquestria and Beyond’s shiny new tri-colour cards!

Absolutely! I can’t wait to see the rest! How many do you think there’s going to be, Flits?

I haven’t the slightest idea!

Well, there’s obviously going to be an Orange, Purple, White song to go alongside this one. So at least 2…

Though maybe there’ll be, like, 6 songs or something? Or maybe even some friends or resources…

I can’t wait to find out!

We’ll you’ll just have to wait a week like everypony else.

I guess so…

Well, that’s it for today, everypony! Hope you all have a good prerelease!

Later!

#cloudchaser and flitter explain #cloudchaser #flitter #mlp:ccg #MLP:FiM #mlp ccg #MLP

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focusontheeasternlightning-blog · 6 years ago

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How to Solve Condition of Getting Tired When You Read God’s Word?

By Yi’er

Dear mom,

How have you been lately? You and my sister asked me to investigate Almighty God’s work in the last days, but I didn’t bother. Now I have some good news to tell you, I have accepted Almighty God’s last days’ work.

Through reading His words, I am completely sure that Almighty God is the returned Lord Jesus. Today I have learnt a hymn: “It’s Such a Joy to Be an Honest Person”: “Understanding the truth frees one’s spirit and makes one happy. I am filled with confidence in God’s word and harbor no doubts. I am without negativity, I do not retreat, and never despair. I uphold my duty with all my heart and mind, and I have no concerns for the flesh. …” I find it really good to follow in the footsteps of God. I can be supplied by God’s words every day and feel released in my spirit, just as the hymn mentions. However, after accepting Almighty God’s work, I also had a rough time. Mom, I would like to tell you about it.

After accepting Almighty God’s work in the last days, I desired greatly to read more of His words. But when I first opened the book of God’s words and began to read, I somehow felt drowsy and muddled and my eyelids started drooping. At first, I thought it was because I hadn’t slept well, so I decided to sleep first, thinking: “I’ll read God’s words after having a good rest.” However, I couldn’t fall asleep when I lay on my bed, and so I began to read the news on my cell phone. Immediately, my mind became clear, and I didn’t feel sleepy at all. Therefore, I began to read God’s words again. However, I soon felt sleepy again after reading a few lines. My eyelids couldn’t stay open and I felt I had no vitality at all. I couldn’t figure out why I felt sleepy as soon as I began to read the book of God’s words, or why I was quite alert when watching entertainment programs or playing games. So I put the book aside and didn’t try to read it anymore. A few days later, my heart felt empty, as if something was missing. But at that time, I didn’t pay much attention to this. I thought: “I know Almighty God is the true God, and I won’t leave His way; attending meetings on time is enough for me.” Afterward, when I had meetings with the brothers and sisters, I saw that every one of them could talk about some knowledge and experiences of God’s words, but I could only listen. The brother who performed the duty of watering asked me: “Sister, how have you been doing recently? Which God’s words have you read? Please share with us.”

Mom, do you know how embarrassed and guilty I felt when the brother asked me that? At that moment I thought: “I’m done for. I haven’t read God’s words in the past few days. What can I fellowship?” However, I was afraid that if I spoke about the true situation, I would feel ashamed in front of the brothers and sisters, so I lied to them: “I’m fine. It’s just that I didn’t have too much time to read God’s words recently.” After saying that, I felt uneasy and felt a sense of guilt in my heart: I clearly hadn’t read God’s words at all. Wasn’t I lying through my teeth, cheating other people and cheating God? At that moment, I secretly resolved that I would read God’s words properly after getting home.

After I arrived home I hurried to take out the book of God’s words, which was in the corner, and began to read. But, just as I sat down and began to read a few lines, the telephone rang, and then later someone came to visit me, and then I also thought of something I hadn’t finished yet. Later, I told myself not to get distracted, but I still couldn’t calm down enough to read. My eyes stared at the words, but my mind went blank, or I got confused. But I still persisted in reading. After reading some pages, I found I couldn’t understand what the words were saying. When I continued reading, I forgot the content of previous pages I’d read, and even forgot the topic. So I read those passages again, but the result was the same. I was obviously in no mood to read the book.

Later, when chatting with my sister, I told her about my situation. She said, “That’s a disturbance from Satan. It knows that after we read God’s words, we’ll understand the truth, reject Satan and return to God. Therefore, it doesn’t want us to read God’s words. But if we don’t read God’s words when coming across Satan’s interference, then we’ll fall victim to its tricks. If we believe in God but don’t read His words, our lives won’t grow, and it’ll also affect our understanding of God. Just as if we only have snacks but don’t have meals, then we’ll lack nutrition, and gradually we’ll have no strength and our health will break down.” Then my sister asked me whether I prayed to God before reading His words, and I said I didn’t. She said: “No wonder! You don’t pray to God, so it’s easy for Satan to disturb you and make you unable to calm down. So, when you read God’s words, you can’t achieve good results. In addition, if you don’t pray to God and rely on God, how can you overcome Satan’s disturbances and attacks? Therefore, we should pray before reading God’s words and beg Him to quiet our heart, enlighten us and lead us. This way, we can read His words carefully.” She also read a paragraph of God’s words for me, “God works, God cares for a person, looks upon a person, and Satan dogs His every step. Whoever God favors, Satan also watches, trailing along behind. … Satan is at war with God, trailing along behind Him. Its objective is to demolish all the work God wants to do, to possess and control those whom God wants, to completely extinguish those whom God wants. If they are not extinguished, then they come to Satan’s possession to be used by it—this is its objective.” After listening to God’s words, I understood why something unexpected always happened every time I wanted to read God’s words. It turned out that it was Satan who created the disturbance to destroy my normal relationship with God. Satan was unwilling to let me read God’s words uninterrupted, and it intended to prevent me from developing a proper spiritual life so that I would stray away from God. No wonder I would feel sleepy or something would happen as soon as I read God’s words. This was the root of the problem. I saw that Satan is really heinous, and I must see through its crafty schemes. Following that, I first prayed to God before reading every passage of God’s words, asking Him to keep my heart quiet before Him so that I could be free of Satan’s disturbances. I then found that my situation was indeed far better than before, that I didn’t feel sleepy when reading God’s words, and that I could be quiet before God. Moreover, I also felt the enlightenment and illumination of the Holy Spirit when I read God’s words.

Later on during a gathering, I opened up to fellowship my experience of being disturbed by Satan with the brothers and sisters, and one of the brothers fellowshiped this with me: “All the brothers and sisters who come before God have gone through Satan’s interference. Some suffered ailments; some were harassed by their family members; some were harassed by pastors and elders of their churches; and some had things go wrong with their families. All these circumstances we encountered are the battles of the spiritual world. …” Then he read a passage of God’s words for me, “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements, or from human interference. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. Take when Job was tried, for example: Behind the scenes, Satan was making a bet with God, and what happened to Job was the deeds of men, and the interference of men. Behind every step that God does in you is Satan’s wager with God—behind it all is a battle. … When God and Satan do battle in the spiritual realm, how should you satisfy God, and how should you stand firm in your testimony to Him? You should know that everything that happens to you is a great trial and the time when God needs you to bear testimony.”

He also fellowshiped this with me, “It is allowed by God that we encounter all sorts of disturbances and testing from Satan. Behind the scenes, Satan is making a wager with God, which is when God needs us to bear testimony to Him. It’s like the trial that befell Job in the Bible: His assets disappeared overnight, calamities befell his children, and he even had painful sores all over his body. In our eyes, some of these calamities were the actions of robbers and some were natural disasters, but behind the scenes it was Satan’s probing as well as God’s trials that came upon him. Satan, by means of this, intended to undermine Job’s faith and make him deny and betray God. However, God knew Job was a person who feared Him, so He permitted Satan to test him, to perfect his faith in this way. At the same time, God let Job bear resounding testimony for Him. Finally, Job, by maintaining his devotion to God, defeated Satan. Due to his faith in God and testimony for God, he received God’s tremendous blessings in the end. Now, God’s six-thousand-year management plan for the salvation of mankind is drawing to an end. Almighty God’s work in the last days is to perfect a group of overcomers, who are perfected after having been subjected to Satan’s disruptions and attacks. Therefore, God allows Satan to test us, so as to perfect our faith. Consequently, no matter what kind of environment we encounter in the future, we should have confidence to pray to God and rely on God, seek the truth to see through Satan’s tricks, and bear testimony to God. If we can stand witness to God like Job, we’ll be eligible to receive His blessings and promises.”

Mom, after reading God’s words and listening to the brother’s fellowshiping, I am now able to discern some tricks of Satan, and I have the confidence to experience God’s work. Mom, you needn’t worry about me anymore, and I’ll strive to seek after the truth. Now, I read God’s words every day and I think reading His word is beneficial for me to understand the truth and mature in life. In the future, I’ll read more of God’s words and strive to understand more truths. I have also been performing my duty of preaching the gospel in the church. I’ll cherish this duty and fulfill it well to satisfy God!

Your daughter,

Yi’er

#Devotionals #Spiritual Life #Crucial Questions #Victory Over Satan

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infographicsisaacbewley · 6 years ago

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plastics infograph

https://vimeo.com/324963739

Above is the link to my final infographic video about plastics. Out of all the videos I have made using After Effects, this one took a very long time to render and upload, most likely due to my poor choice of video codecs. However, I had an issue with my computer which did not allow me to select a rendering codec which would reduce the file size and make it easy to load, which caused me to waste a lot of time and I struggled to finish and upload it so I would not say this was entirely due to my fault but technical issues. This definitely did impact the creation of the animation but hopefully this was a one-off variable that will not impact future projects or commissions.

The main programs I used to make this infograph were After Effects and Illustrator. Illustrator was used to create quick, silhouette-like images and assets which I imported to After Effects to manipulate. I found that Illustrator is easier to use than Photoshop for a task like this because the pen tools can be used to make quick and very smooth silhouettes and shapes, whereas in Photoshop I would have to use a tablet and smoothness on the pen to make a shape and it would not be as smooth as something done in Illustrator. I also used references images to make assets off and I felt it was easier to use Illustrator for this. While admittedly I did not have much time to polish the assets as much as I would have liked (such as the wave and several of the human silhouettes), I think that for the most part a lot of my assets were recognisable in their silhouette form which is good, and the sleek style helped me to finish the asset-creation fast so I could spend more time on the actual animation.

I actually received some feedback on several assets I had created for the infographic, namely this turtle. Previously, the turtle did not have the shell drawn in a different colour and the whole body was grey. Several people I had asked to critique the animation told me that they found some assets hard to recognise, so I worked to fix as much as this as I was able to before the time limit was up. The small change I did to this turtle was to draw the shell again in a different colour, and this seemed to work as the feedback said that this was much more recognisable and still fit within the style constraints I had set for the animation.

After making the assets, I imported them into After Effects. In my project proposal I outlined that I would mostly be using puppet pins to animate and move my assets, and in every other case I used skills that I have learnt over the years. I have been experimenting with puppet pins since very early on in my After Effects career, and found them very versatile and easy to use. I am most proud of my use of them when I was making the turtle ‘move’ through the water, although to fully pull off that imagery without ruining the original based of the turtle I had to draw the legs separate to the turtle’s main body, parent the legs to the torso and then only put puppet pins on the legs. This ensured that the legs stayed with the torso but they also moved independently in their own way to create the illusion that the legs were moving. I also experimented with coding in this - I googled a tutorial for how to make actions loop, and clicking alt while hovering over the blue ‘stopwatch’ icons opened up a small tab where I could copy paste looping code ( loopOut("cycle",0); ).

I used this method for most of the movement in the infographic, and the few exceptions mostly used movements that I had already become familiar with in previous tasks. One other notable animation I did was several expanding ‘circles’ which gave some dynamic movement and helped me transition from scene-to-scene, and I felt like this gave the infographic a bit more of a ‘wow’ factor. I used the technique around twice in the video, and because I pre-composed the entire animation after I made the initial one I could simply copy-paste it into any other scene I wanted. To make the ‘popping’ animation, I created 2 circles of different colours that still fit in the palette of the animation, and set their scale position to 0. Then, depending on which circle I wanted to expand first, I would go as many frames away as I wanted the animation to last for and then set the scale to 100. The second circle to ‘expand’ would also have this done, but the keyframe that let them start to expand would be moved back a little so it looked like 2 circles popped after each other. I had the second circle expand enough to cover the entire composition, and I did this because I coloured it the same as the background so this made the scene transition, and I think that this looked very well. Since I had a lot of practice with this technique it wasn’t too hard to remember what to do, and I think it worked well here.

As I outlined in my project proposal, I kept the subject of the infographic on a more positive story about plastic, while keeping in some facts and statistics on plastic consumption and its effects on the environment to keep the ‘infographic’ nature of the video true. Now that I have finished the video, I believe that I didn’t capitalise as well on the positive spin on plastic awareness as I could have. I think this is mainly due to my writing and choice of what facts and story to show, and with perhaps more time allocated into the storyboarding and writing of the video I could have made it much more impactful and concise. I struggled a lot with showing both the stories and facts in a fair balance, but I think I achieved a fair medium in the end although I did veer off a little from the original story near the end.

I had originally intended to include music and sound effects, but due to time constraints I wasn’t able to record or mix music for the final project. There were also technical issues with this, as on the student computer where I was creating the animation, Chrome would not allow me to download anything from the internet which was crucial to including music and sound effects. Personally I do not feel like this brings down the quality of the animation because it includes a good amount of text which remains on the screen for a while for the viewer to read, and the images are fairly easy to recognise.

In the end I am fairly pleased with the final infographic I created. It didn’t exactly reach the vision that I intended for it, but came very close and I feel it definitely achieves the function it was set out to do. My main gripe with the infographic is the quality of some of the assets, because even though I have the excuse of time constraints and me setting myself less time to make the assets themselves, Illustrator still gives me plenty of chances to make high-quality assets and in hindsight I wish I had done a little more quality control when deciding when an asset was done. Thankfully after the feedback I requests I did manage to change a lot of assets to be more suitable, but I did not manage to fix them all and the few instances where I used the subpar assets do show in my opinion. Namely, I feel the big ‘wave’ that washes the plastic up could stand to look a little more like an actual wave, even though I did struggle a lot when drawing it anyway as I found waves hard to translate into the chosen style of the infographic.

However I think that most of the animation itself went very well. Of course I am no professional by any means in After Effects, but with the knowledge I have I believe I have incorporated a lot of interesting and dynamic effects into this animation, and did some very smooth and interesting transitions between scenes. I am especially proud of the aforementioned circle popping/expanding animations and the puppet pin/parenting trick that I used for the turtle and several other moving assets, and I believe they show that I have retained a good amount of knowledge on how things work in After Effects and how to incorporate them.

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shou7 · 8 years ago

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Translation: I Want to Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino (Chapter 6)

Synopsis

One day, I - a high schooler - found a paperback in the hospital. The “Disease Coexistence Journal” was its title. It was a diary that my classmate, Sakura Yamauchi, had written in secret. Inside, it was written that due to her pancreatic disease, her days were numbered. And thus, I coincidentally went from Just-a-Classmate to a Secret-Knowing-Classmate. It was as if I were being drawn to her, who was my polar opposite. However, the world presented the girl that was already suffering from an illness with an equally cruel reality…

The best-selling, award-winning debut work by Yoru Sumino: “Bestsellers 2016 (Overall) by NIPPAN” - 4th Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Paperback Fiction) by NIPPAN” - 1st Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Overall) by TOHAN” - 5th Place “Bestsellers 2016 (Literary Books) by TOHAN” - 1st Place “Bookstore Grand Prix 2016” - 2nd Place “DA VINCI BOOK OF THE YEAR 2015” - 2nd Place “Bestsellers 2015 (Literary Books) by TOHAN” - 6th Place As of January 2017, this book has sold over 720,000 copies.

Please buy the book to support the author. (amazon.com)

Download the complete volume in PDF format here, or in ePUB format here.

(Chapter Index)

The girl had been hospitalised. The next time I saw her was Saturday that same week, in a hospital ward. The weather in the morning was cloudy, and the temperature pleasant. Having been informed of the visiting hours, I had come to pay her a so-called hospital visit, or rather, I had been summoned.

She was in a private ward. There weren’t any other visitors when I arrived. Dressed in a typical hospital gown with a tube hanging from her arm, was the girl facing the window doing some weird dance. When I called out to her from behind, she jumped up in shock and squealed noisily as she burrowed under her blanket. I sat down on the pipe chair that had been left beside the bed, waiting for the commotion to end. All of a sudden, she became quiet and sat back up on the bed as if nothing had happened. Her paroxysms knew neither time nor place.

“Don’t appear so suddenly, I was so embarrassed just now I thought I was going to die.”

“If you’re going to die in such an unprecedented manner, let me present you with something that’ll make you laugh for the rest of your life. Here, a visiting gift.”

“Huh, you didn’t have to! Ah, they’re strawberries! Let’s eat them. The plates and stuff are in the rack over there so go get them.”

Just as she had ordered, I retrieved two sets of plates and forks, as well as a knife, from the nearby white rack, and seated myself back on the chair. Incidentally, the strawberries had been bought with money my parents had given me after I’d told them I was going to the hospital to visit a classmate.

After removing the stems, I inquired about her condition as we ate the strawberries.

“It’s totally alright. The numbers were a bit weird, so my dad and mom were worried and fussing about getting me hospitalised, but I’m pretty much doing fine. I’ll be hospitalised for about two weeks, have some special drug inserted into my body, and after that I’ll be back in school.”

“By then it would already be summer vacation though.”

“Ah, that’s true. Then I’ve got to make plans for summer vacation with you huh.”

I looked at the end of the tube that extended from her arm. A bag containing transparent liquid hung from an iron pole that had casters attached. A single doubt came to mind.

“What did you tell others like Best-Friend-san, I mean, Kyouko-san?”

“I told Kyouko and the others that I had an appendix surgery. The hospital side is also covering it up for me. It looks like they’re quite worried for me, so it’s getting harder and harder to tell the truth y'know. What does Get-Along-kun, who pushed me down onto a bed a few days ago, think?”

“Hmm, I think you should properly tell Best-Friend-san, I mean, Kyouko-san one day though. But ultimately, I guess I should respect what you, who hugged me a few days ago, decide to do.”

“Don’t make me remember that! It’s so embarrassing! Before I die, I’m going to tell Kyouko about how you pushed me down, and then you’ll get killed without anyone knowing.”

“You’re actually going to turn your best friend into a criminal, the sin runs deep within you.”

“That said, what do you even mean by ‘Best-Friend-san’?”

“I refer to Kyouko-san as Best-Friend-san in my mind. In a familiar manner.”

“All I hear are formalities though. You mean it like ‘Section-Chief-san’, right?”

Appalled, she shrugged. She didn’t look the least bit different from how she usually did.

I had asked about her condition through our messages, but I was relieved to see that she really was doing fine. The truth was, I’d feared that the time of her death had suddenly been pushed forward. But as far as I could tell from looking at her, that didn’t seem to be the case. Her expression was bright and her movements were robust.

Having regained some peace of mind, I took out a newly bought, untouched notebook from my bag.

“Well then, now that you’re done with your snack, it’s time to study.”

“Whaaat, let’s just take it easy for a little longer!”

“I came here because you asked me to do this. Not to mention, you’ve already been taking it easy over here the entire time.”

Of course, there was a legitimate reason for me to come to the hospital apart from meeting her for the first time in a while. She had asked me to compile the materials taught during the supplementary lessons in the several days that she wasn’t going to school, and tutor her. She was shocked by how awfully honest I was when I promptly accepted her request. Honestly, how rude of her.

I handed her the new notebook, grabbed a pen, and imparted to her the summarised contents of the supplementary lessons. I cut out the parts I subjectively felt were fine not to remember, and gave an abridged lesson. She listened seriously for the most part. Including breaks, my mock lesson ended after about an hour and a half.

“Thanks so much, Get-Along-kun, you’re good at teaching huh, you should go become a teacher.”

“I don’t want to. And why do you only suggest jobs that will get me involved with humans?”

“I thought that maybe, in my stead, I’d have you do the things I actually wanted to do if I weren’t going to die.”

“If you say something like that, it’ll make me look bad for flat out refusing, so please stop.”

Giggling, she placed the notebook on the brown rack beside the bed. There were reading materials like magazines and manga lined up on its shelves. Surely, to an active human like her, this room must have been boring. After all, she was doing that weird dance earlier too.

It was late in the morning. Having been informed that Best-Friend-san was coming to visit around noon, I had meant to head home at 12 PM. When I told her about this, she gave me an invitation, “You could just join in the girls’ talk,” to which I politely refused. Playing teacher had left my stomach pretty empty, and more than anything, just confirming that she was fine had left me satisfied for the day.

“Then, before you go home - a magic trick, take a look at my magic trick.”

“Ooh, you’ve already picked it up?”

“Just a simple one. Though there are a couple others that I’m still working on.”

What she showcased was a magic trick that made use of poker cards. It was to - without looking - pick the card that the participant had chosen; I thought that it was well done given that she had learnt it in this short of a timespan. Since I had never studied magic tricks, I couldn’t understand the trick.

“I’m going to do an even harder one next time, so look forward to it!”

“I’ll look forward to it; maybe for your final magic trick, you should escape from a burning box.”

“You mean at a crematorium? That’s impossible you knooow.”

“Like I said, that kind of joke is-”

“Sakuraaa, you doin’ okay………… Wait, again?”

On reflex, I turned around to that lively voice. Best-Friend-san had entered the ward energetically, but her face twisted when she saw me. Recently, I’ve gotten the feeling that Best-Friend-san’s antagonistic attitude towards me was becoming increasingly obvious. At this rate, it didn’t seem like her wish for me to get along with Best-Friend-san after her death would become a reality.

I stood up from the chair, said my goodbyes, and proceeded to head home. Since Best-Friend-san was clearly glaring at me, I avoided letting our eyes meet. The animal programme last night had said it wasn’t good to look predators in the eye.

However, contrary to my wishful thinking for us to continue engaging in uninterrupted mutual avoidance, the girl on the bed suddenly remembered something outrageous, and blurted it out unfiltered.

“By the way, Get-Along-kun, what about Big Bro’s jersey and underwear that you borrowed?”

“Ah……”

I had never been so thoughtlessly cursed to this extent before. Today, though I had put her older brother’s clothes that I was lent into my bag, and had meant to return them, I had forgotten to do so.

However, there was nothing for me to say now.

I turned around, and saw the girl grinning, as a shocked expression surfaced on the face of Best-Friend-san, who had moved to the side of the bed. Trying my best to conceal my trembling, I retrieved a plastic carrier containing the set of clothes from my bag, and passed it to her.

“Tha~nks.”

Still grinning, she looked at both Best-Friend-san and me. I too, gave Best-Friend-san a quick glance. Perhaps I had a foolish desire to see something scary. Having recovered from the shock, Best-Friend-san was now glaring at me with eyes that could kill. Somehow, it felt as if she was roaring like a lion.

I immediately diverted my eyes away from Best-Friend-san, and quickly shuffled out of the room, hearing Best-Friend-san draw close to the girl and ask in an exceedingly low voice, “What do you mean by underwear?” So that I wouldn’t get dragged into something troublesome, I worked my feet faster and faster, further away from the room.

On Monday, the start of the following week, I headed to school and found that an extremely outrageous rumour about me had swept through the classroom.

Somehow, it seemed like it was a rumour about how I was stalking the girl. The one I heard about it from was the boy who would offer gum to me like it was an established custom. While I frowned at the nonsensical rumour, as expected, he offered me some gum while seemingly enjoying himself, to which I politely declined.

I tried to somehow deduce the origins of the rumours. Surely, somewhere along the way, there had probably been some number of sightings of the girl and I together, which had been then exaggerated into gossip that I was always around her. Having heard that, people who didn’t think well of me labelled me as a stalker in an act of ill-will, thus creating a rumour that was treated as if it were true - this was as far as my deduction got, but it may have still been nowhere near the truth.

Even if it didn’t come about in such a manner, I was still dismayed at how removed from reality the rumour was. As though some huge incident had occurred, almost every person in class was looking in my direction, whispering things like “there’s the stalker, better be careful”, having completely bought into the hearsay.

To say it once more - from the bottom of my heart, I was appalled. Just how could they accept so easily the views of the majority? Surely, if the thirty of them gathered together, they could probably kill a person without any hesitation. As long as one believed in their own righteousness, they could probably bring themselves to do anything. And all the while, they wouldn’t even realise that such a system was more machine than human.

That was why I thought that if the matter were to escalate, there would be an outbreak of bullying directed at me, but that was just me being overly self-conscious. To put it clearly, the one they were interested in was the girl, not me who was following after her.

No, I wasn’t even following after her. That was why, there was no benefit for them to take any action against me, and there was no need for me to do anything troublesome. But as for how Best-Friend-san would glare at me with interest - or perhaps just hostility – every day when I attended school, that was simply scary.

When I told her about the matter on my second visit on Tuesday, she burst out laughing, holding her pancreas.

“Kyouko, everyone, and Get-Along-kun are all interesting huh!”

“You’re the type that thinks talking behind people’s backs is amusing? What a horrible human.”

“What’s amusing is how everyone is getting involved with you - who they’ve never gotten involved with before - in a way that doesn’t make sense. And so, do you know how you got yourself into this sort of situation?”

“Isn’t it because I’ve been hanging out with you?”

“So you’re making it my fault? That’s not it though, it’s because you haven’t properly talked with everyone.”

She asserted while peeling mandarins on the bed.

“You see, they all don’t know Get-Along-kun’s character, so that’s why they’ve come to think like that. But clearing the mutual misunderstanding aside, I think you should try and get along with everyone.”

“I’m not going to do something that won’t benefit anyone though.”

It was something unnecessary for me, who would be alone once she was gone, and our classmates, who would forget about me without her around.

“I’m sure that once everyone knows more about you, they’ll properly understand that you’re an interesting person. Besides, I don’t think they really think badly of Get-Along-kun.”

While talking about foolish things and peeling mandarins, I thought of something.

“Apart from you and Kyouko-san, they don’t think of me as being anything but a ‘Plain-Classmate’.”

“Did you get that from asking the people themselves?”

She tilted her head to the side, as if she were striking at the core of my character.

“I didn’t ask. But I think that’s how it is…..”

“But you wouldn’t know that without asking the people themselves. Isn’t that just Get-Along-kun’s assumption? And that isn’t necessarily right.”

“It doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t right, after all, I’m not going to involve myself with anybody, and it’s nothing but my imagination, it’s just how I think it is. It’s an interest of mine to imagine what someone thinks of me when they call my name.”

“What’s with that self-absorption? Are you the self-absorbed sort of boy?

“Nope, I’m the prince of self-absorption that hails from the land of self-absorption. Show your respect.”

With an unamused face, she devoured the mandarins. I never thought of getting her to understand my system of values. She was the opposite sort of human from me after all.

She was a human that lived through getting involved with people. Her expressions and character had stories behind them. In contrast to that, all my human relationships outside of my family existed only within my head. It didn’t matter if I were liked or disliked as long no harm came to me - I’d been living with such thoughts. From the very beginning, I’d already given up on getting involved with people. As the opposite of her, I had no need for the humans around me. Though if asked whether that was fine, I’d just be troubled.

Having finished eating the mandarins, she carefully folded the peels together and tossed them at the trash can. The ball of skin sailed splendidly into the can, and just with that trivial event, she happily punched her fist into the air.

“By the way, what do you think I think of you?”

“Who knows, isn’t it something along the lines of ‘we get along’?”

At my appropriate response, she pouted.

“Bzzz, wrooong answer. Though I did think that before.”

I tilted my head to the side at the peculiar girl’s phrasing. She had thought that - in other words, it probably meant that her way of thinking hadn’t changed to that of others’, but she noticed that her own way of thinking was off the mark. Just a little, it interested me.

“Then, what do you think of me now?”

“If things like this were revealed, then human relations wouldn’t be interesting anymore. It’s because humans have no idea what they are to others that friendship and love are interesting y’know.”

“Like I thought, that’s how you think huh.”

“Huh? Have we talked about this before?”

Probably having really forgotten, she brought her eyebrows together, looking mystified. That expression was strange, and so I ended up laughing. I looked at myself, who had always been like an outsider, smiling honestly at someone. I was doubtful that I had become this sort of person without realising, but on the flip side, I felt that it was so. The one that made me like this was, without a doubt, the girl before my eyes. Though no one could know whether that was a good or bad thing. But regardless, I had changed quite a bit.

Looking at me smiling, she narrowed her eyes.

“I want to show everyone that ?????-kun is a really good person.”

Her voice was gentle. So she had the gall to say that sort of thing to the boy that had pushed her down. Though this probably meant that I’d regret doing that for the rest of my life.

“Everyone aside, you should go and tell Kyouko-san. She scares me.”

“I’m just saying but - that girl, she cares about her best friend, so that’s why she thinks you’re deceiving me.”

“Then I guess there’s a problem with your ability to communicate information huh. Even though Kyouko-san seems like she has a good head on her shoulders.”

“Hm, what, you’re showering Kyouko with praise. Are you thinking of fooling around with Kyouko after I die? Even I’m shocked.”

I devoured a mandarin segment as I looked back at her overreaction with an unamused face. She reseated herself on the bed seemingly disinterested, making me smile again.

“Well then, so for today’s magic trick…”

What she had picked up this time was how to make it look like the coin in her palm could disappear and reappear at her will. I got caught up in the programme, and similar to the previous trick, I thought it was excellent for a beginner. To me, who didn’t know anything, it just about made me think that she perhaps had an exceptional talent for this.

“Well I’ve been practicing the entire time after all! Since I don’t have time y’know.”

Wasn’t it because she had time that she was able to practice? I was about to politely insert such a jab, but I let it go to let her know that I wasn’t generous with jokes.

“If it’s like this, you really might become amazing after a year huh.”

“Hm, well, I guess!”

She had made a weird pause. Perhaps it was because she minded having her joke ignored. Since it couldn’t be helped, I honestly praised her hard work and its outcome. Spirits lifted, she smiled.

With that, my second hospital visit to her ended without any problems.

The problem arose for me alone on the way home from the hospital.

For me, the place that I would say I liked most in this world were bookshops, and so, on this day too, I had dropped by a bookshop on the way home from the hospital. Inside the store with an overworked air-conditioner, I browsed through its books. Fortunately, I hadn’t brought along the girl whom I would end up making wait, so there was no problem no matter how much time I wanted to spend here.

I didn’t have anything that I could be proud of, but I was confident in just my ability to concentrate while reading books. For example, if I wasn’t offered gum, or if the sound of the chime embedded within my body doesn’t ring, I could probably continue blocking out everything around me forever, reading a book in my own little world. Were I a wild herbivore, I’d surely daydream about other worlds without noticing any predators nearby, and end up getting eaten right away.

That was why, once I finished reading a short story within a paperback in one go, and returned to this world that would deprive a girl of her life through an illness, I realised it at long last.

There was a lion standing beside me.

I jumped up in shock, taken aback. With a large bag hanging from her shoulder, she was looking at the open book in her hands. But I could tell that she was clearly out to get me.

Perhaps, I could keep my footsteps silent, leave this place, and escape. But those fleeting hopes of mine were dashed right away.

“What do you think of Sakura?”

Behind that one line Best-Friend-san gave without any greeting or preamble, there was a force that seemed like it would chew me up if didn’t answer correctly.

I felt cold sweat drip down my back - I was stuck. Just what could the right answer be? But, when I thought about it, I realised something. With regard to that question from Best-Friend-san, everything but my feelings towards that girl was clear. I didn’t choose any path other than answering frankly with that truth.

“I don’t know.”

In the several seconds of silence that followed, I couldn’t be sure whether Best-Friend-san was at a loss, or hardening her resolve to kill, but by the time I realised it, my arm had been caught in the claws of the lion. Forcefully pulling me close to the point that I staggered, she spoke in an intimidating tone of voice.

“Even though that girl’s the way she is, she gets hurt more easily than others. So stop getting close to that girl with half-baked feelings. Because if she gets hurt ‘cause of that, I’ll kill you.”

I’ll kill you - it was different from the inconsequential threats elementary schoolers and middle schoolers made against their enemies, it was meant as a serious proclamation of her intentions to me. I shuddered.

Without saying anything more than that, Best-Friend-san left, leaving me desperately trying to somehow calm the beating of my heart that was rampaging throughout the bookstore. In the end, I was unable to leave that spot until I was offered gum by that classmate who just happened to enter the bookstore.

Just what did I think of that girl? That night, I tried seriously thinking about it.

But, as expected, I couldn’t even figure out anything close to an answer.

The day after I was almost preyed on, I suddenly received a message from the girl inviting me over. The last two times, I had been contacted a day before each visit, so this was something unusual. I thought that something had happened, but that wasn’t the case at all. As soon as I arrived, she began speaking with a resolute smile.

“Won’t you help me escape from the hospital?”

The girl had just wanted to unveil the mischief she’d thought of to me right away.

“I don’t want to, I still don’t want to turn into a murderer.”

“It’s fine, everyone will forgive you for breaking out a dying lover from the hospital who ends up dying midway, since it was an agreement.”

“According to your logic, wouldn’t it be forgivable even if I poured boiling water onto someone if they said to do so?”

“Huh, wouldn’t it?”

“It wouldn’t. It’s just normal physical assault. That’s why something like breaking you out of the hospital - do it with a lover that doesn’t mind shortening your lifespan.”

“Tsk,” looking like she was seriously quite disappointed, she twirled a rubber hairband on her finger. I was surprised. Could it be that she was actually thinking of having me take actions that would put her sickly self in danger? And then I got a shock. Even as a joke, she was actually suggesting foolish actions that would put what little remained of her own life in danger.

Or perhaps, it wasn’t a joke. I looked at her smiling face that was the same as always, and I got a sense of unease which felt like it would melt away and disappear at any moment.

After which, at her suggestion “well then, let’s get out of the ward”, we headed for the store on the third floor together. So that the tube protruding from her right hand would not be ripped out, she walked in front of me, carefully carrying the pouch of medicine with something that looked like a mic stand. Seeing her like this, she brought to mind the image of a sick person. That was what I thought.

On the sofa close to the store, while eating ice cream beside me, she began speaking. I didn’t understand why she suddenly brought up a topic like that.

“Hey, do you know why sakura bloom in spring?”

“You mean, yourself? In that case I don’t understand what you mean.”

“That’s not it, have I even once referred to myself by my own name? C-could it be, you, with another woman called Sakura…… So you were the unfaithful sort of man huh, wouldn’t it be better if you just died?’

“Stop trying to drag me along just because it seems like you’ll have nothing to do in heaven. That’s right, by all means, you should just have your funeral held on Tomobiki, Friend-Pulling Day.”

“No way, I want my friends to live, so that’s no good.”

“Then could you write down on some foolscap the reason you think it’s fine if I died, and submit it to me? So, about the reason sakura bloom in spring. Isn’t it just because it’s that sort of flower?”

I said the most sensible thing, and she laughed through her nose like she was genuinely dumb. I barely controlled myself from thrusting the lemon-flavoured ice candy I had in hand at her nose.

Seemingly having read my bad mood, she laughed frivolously, and explained the part she was trying to get at.

“I’ll tell you. After the sakura have scattered, the next generation of flower buds actually sprout in about three months. But they continue to slumber. They wait for it to become warm, and then they all bloom at once. In other words, sakura wait for the right time to bloom. Isn’t that wonderful?”

I heard what she had to say, and I thought that she was perhaps projecting a little too much intention onto the characteristics of a flower. It just waits for the pollen-carrying insects or birds - maybe both. However, I didn’t make that retort. As for why, it was because I had arrived at another opinion from a different perspective.

“I see, it’s really a perfect fit for your name.”

“Because they’re pretty? Aww, you’re making me blush”

“……It’s not like that, I just thought that the name of the flower that choses to bloom in spring was a perfect name for you, who thinks that meetings and happenings aren’t coincidences, but choices.”

After momentarily drawing a blank at my opinion, a smile broke on her face, and she said, “Thanks!” Perfect in this case was the same as suitable - it wasn’t meant as a compliment, so I couldn’t understand why she looked that happy.

“?????-kun’s name suits you pretty well too you know.”

“……I wonder.”

“After all, you’re: Someone who’s. Helping. Ill-fated me. Get. Along.”

She made that joke, proudly laughing while pointing back and forth between herself and I.

When I heard those words, I sped through all of our conversations up till now, and once again thought that something about her today really was weird.

She was nibbling at a watermelon popsicle, and just like always, it appeared as if she would continue to live forever. That hadn’t changed, and yet somewhere in her joke I could hear it - yes, it was as if it were the last day of summer vacation and she was frantically searching for something she hadn’t already done.

What happened?

That was what I wondered at the bottom of my heart. However, I didn’t ask her about it because I thought the fleeting impatience I saw inside of her was only natural. She had only a year left to live. To begin with, it should have been stranger for her to have been so easy-going about it.

That was why on that day, I decided to treat the sense of unease I got from her as an extremely trivial matter that was born merely from my own subjectivity.

I thought that it was the right thing to do.

In spite of that, when I was next called down to the hospital ward on Saturday morning, the slight sense of unease I had felt showed its form right before my eyes.

When I entered the room at the designated time, she noticed my presence right away, and smiled as she called my name. But that smile was a little awkward.

It were as if she had meticulously drawn that vivid expression on her heart, and that let slip her anxiety. Subconsciously, I could feel that something was off.

I coaxed my cowardly feet forward, and sat down on the same pipe chair as usual. With a determined expression, she said something that didn’t differ from what I had come to expect.

“Hey…… ?????-kun.”

“……Yeah, what’s the matter?”

“Just one time is fine so-”

While she said that, she grabbed the poker cards that had been left on the rack.

“Truth or Dare - won’t you play it with me?”

“…………What for?”

A suggestion to play the devil’s game. Even though it looked like I could have immediately refused, I wanted to know why she would suddenly bring up something like that, and more than anything else, I was curious about her washed-out appearance.

Since she couldn’t answer right away, I continued speaking.

“So this means you have something you want to ask me no matter what, or something you want me to do no matter what huh. Or maybe, something that I’d decline if you asked norma-”

“It’s…… Not like that. You would probably tell me normally, but I’m unable to get myself together to ask, so I’m thinking of just leaving it up to luck.”

Just what in the world was she being so awfully ceremonious about that she was unable to articulate it? I wasn’t aware of keeping any secrets that would trouble her.

The girl gazed into my eyes. It was as if she was trying to get her strong will to push through. Mysteriously, her eyes erased any intention I had of defying her. It was because I was a reed boat. Or perhaps, it was because it was her who I was facing.

After some thought, I ended up making this sort of decision:

“……You did lend me a book after all. If it’s just one time, I’ll play along.”

“Thanks.”

She said just one word of gratitude, looking like she knew my answer beforehand, and began to shuffle the cards. As I thought, she was acting strange. She usually had a habit of saying unnecessary things like it was her livelihood, but today, she was speaking without adding any superfluous words. Wondering just what in the world had happened to her, curiosity and concern turned into yoghurt inside my heart.

The rules for Truth or Dare were the same as before. Since we were only playing one round, we took turns shuffling the cards five times each, then placed the stack on the bed for us to draw a card from wherever we liked.

After she went through a lot of trouble to pick one from a little beneath the middle, I took the first card from the top. Since their faces were obscured, we didn’t know where each card had ended up, so there wasn’t anything like a difference in the values between the cards we choose. Furthermore, I wasn’t as invested in this game as she was. She’d probably get angry if I said something like this, but this time, I’d have been fine with either winning or losing. If the match were to be decided based on the gap in fighting spirit and willpower, if the gods had created such a setting in this world, it was without a doubt her victory.

She’d probably say it – that it was interesting because it wasn’t like that.

We flipped over the cards at the same time, and she made a face that seemed to show heartfelt frustration.

“Waaah, this is, a complete defeat.”

She gripped onto the bedcover, like she was waiting for her disappointment to run off. I, who ended up winning, could do nothing but look on. Before long, she noticed my gaze and threw her disappointment away somewhere, breaking out into a smile.

“Can’t be helped huh! It’s just the way it is! That’s why it’s interesting!”

“…………I see, so it’s no good if I don’t think of a question huh.”

“It’s fine, I’ll answer whatever you want y’know? Do you want to hear about my first kiss, maybe?”

“I’m not going to spend this valuable right on that sort of question with a worth lower than an elevator.”

“……Elevators have their own worth though?”

“And so? What of it? Did you actually think I said something meaningful?”

With high spirits, she burst into laughter. Looking at her laughing, it made me think that perhaps it was just me overthinking she was different from normal. This time too, and the last time I came to the hospital as well - maybe there was no significant basis for the difference in her appearance. Any little thing could have caused her expression to change, like alcohol or the weather - those kinds of insignificant reasons. Yes, that was what I hoped.

I, who gained a right in the midst of my reluctance, wondered. What should I ask the girl? The interest I had in the girl hadn’t changed from when we last played this game. How in the world did a human like her come to be? Actually, there may have been one or two things that I was more curious about. For example, what she thought of me.

However, I didn’t have the courage to ask her those one or two things. A human like me came to be from cowardice - being with her made me realise that. I was like the reverse of the courageous girl.

I looked at her as I pondered over what to ask her. She was staring in my direction, in anticipation of a question. The girl that was seated quietly on the bed, just a little more than before, looked like she was dying.

Wanting to shake of that feeling, I decided on my question which simultaneously left my mouth.

“To you, what does it mean to live?”

“Waaah, you’re actually being serious about this.” After poking fun at me, she made a contemplative face and stared at the sky, thinking. “To live, huh,” she muttered.

With just that, I could tell that she was staring not at death but at life, and with just that - though it was by a miniscule amount - I felt my heart becoming lighter. I was a coward. I already knew, but somewhere inside me, I still couldn’t accept that she was going to die.

I recalled how distraught I’d become looking inside her bag in the hotel during the trip, and how she’d cornered me with her final question that day.

“Yeah! That’s it! I got it!”

She pointed upwards with her index finger, indicating that she had reached a conclusion. So that I wouldn’t miss any of her words, I perked up my ears.

“What it means to live, you see-”

“…………”

“Is surely the connecting of our hearts with someone else’s. Working towards that is what we call living.”

……Aah, I understand now.

Having realised it, I got goosebumps.

That which was referred to as her existence, through her gaze and voice, the heat of her will, and the trembling of her life - I realised that it made my soul quake.

“Acknowledging someone, getting to like someone, getting to hate someone, enjoying being together with someone, detesting being together with someone, holding hands with someone, hugging someone, and growing apart from someone. That, is living. If we were all alone, we wouldn’t know that we exist. I, who hates someone despite liking someone else, who enjoys being together with someone despite detesting being together with someone else - I think it’s because of those kinds of relationships that I have with people that I - not someone else - am living. I have a heart because everyone exists, and I have a body so that I can be touched by everyone. Right now, I, who was formed in such a manner, am living. Right here, I am still living. That’s why there’s meaning in people being born. Through our own choices, right now, right here, you, and me as well, are living.”

“…………”

“……Well, I did end up getting pretty heated, but was this actually an episode of Serious Teenage Forum?”

“Nope, this is a hospital ward.”

I answered exceedingly curtly. She puffed out her cheeks.

I hoped that she would let it go, since I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

“…………”

“?????-kun……?”

This time, while listening to her words, for the first time, I was able to discover my true feelings that had accumulated at the deepest depths of my core. It was right beneath my nose by the time I realised, but despite having become a part of my heart itself, it was something that I hadn’t noticed till now. It was because I was a coward.

The answer that I had been seeking these past few days - no, actually forever - was now right there.

That’s right, I……you.

I had been suppressing those words, so it took my all.

“…………Really.”

“Ah, you’ve finally started talking again, what’s up? ?????-kun.”

“You’ve, really been teaching me a lot of things.”

“Wah, what’s this all of a sudden, it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s how I really feel. Thank you.”

“Are you running a fever?”

She placed her palm on my forehead. But naturally, since the temperature was normal, she tilted her head to the side. Or rather, did she really, seriously think that I was running a fever? Finding that amusing, I ended up laughing. Seeing such a sight, she once again pushed her palm towards me. I laughed again. And the cycle repeated itself.

Aaah, I was having fun. It’s because she was here.

Once she finally understood that I wasn’t running a fever, I gratefully suggested having the diced pineapples that I had bought for her.

Having said during the last hospital visit that pineapple would be good for my next visit, her face seemed to blossom with happiness.

While the two of us were enjoying the pineapples, she let out a sigh.

“A~ah, I don’t have any luck either huh.”

“For Truth or Dare? That’s true, but even if we weren’t playing the game, if it’s a question that I can answer, I’ll answer it for you.”

“It’s fine, since that’s just the outcome of the game.”

She had flatly refused. As before, I still hadn’t the slightest clue what she had wanted to ask.

Once we were done eating the snacks, I taught her the new material that had been discussed during the supplementary lessons, and then the customary magic trick presentation began. Since not much time had passed since the last visit, this time she did something simple using the magic props. As usual, I, who didn’t have a profound knowledge of magic, was honestly impressed. Even during our studying time and our magic trick time as well, I - who didn’t realised my own heart until just a little while ago - was looking only at her.

“Well then, it’s about time for me to go home. My stomach’s getting empty too after all.”

“Huh! You’re going home already?”

She thrashed about in protest like a child. Perhaps she dreaded the boredom of being alone in a hospital ward much more than I had thought.

“Isn’t it about time for you to have lunch? Besides, I don’t want to get devoured by Kyouko-san for lunch.”

“Pancreas too?”

“Maybe so, huh.”

I stood up while imagining myself getting preyed on by a carnivorous animal, and she cried out, “Hold on!”

“Hold on for a little longer - well then, I still have one last request.”

She beckoned me closer with a gesture of her hand. I approached her without the least bit of caution, and looking like she hadn’t any ill will or reservation or ulterior motive or hidden agenda or second thoughts or responsibility, she stretched out her upper body and embraced me.

I forgot the shock I had in response to her absolutely unexpected actions. Calm to the point that even I was surprised, I rested my chin on her shoulder. Sickly sweet.

“……Hey.”

“This is different from the other day y'know, this isn’t mischief.”

“…………Then, what?”

“Recently I’ve just strangely begun liking people’s body heat!”

I had a conviction of sorts about the manner in which she was speaking.

“Hey, the truth is it’s always been on my mind but-”

“My three sizes? Since my chest is pressing against you.”

“Are you sure you aren’t dumb?”

“Hahaha.”

“It’s about how you’ve been acting a little strange. Did something happen?”

Still in an embrace, no, to be accurate, still being wilfully embraced by her, I waited quietly for her answer. Unlike before, I didn’t think I was being made a fool of, rather, I thought that if she was fine with something like my body heat, she should just use it if she wanted to.

She slowly shook her head from side to side twice.

“……Nope, no~thing at all!”

Naturally, I didn’t believe that. But, I didn’t have the courage to get her to say what she didn’t want to say.

“It’s just that, I wanted to taste the truth and everyday life that you’ve been giving me.”

“…………I see.”

Well, even if I did have outrageous courage, and even if I didn’t, by this time, I was unable to do anything about not understanding the inside of her heart.

I really was forsaken by that thing known as timing.

While she was still silent, I heard the roar of a beast from behind me.

“Sakuraaa, good mor…… What, you….. Unforgivable!”

I pushed her away onto the bed, and while hearing her “kyaa”, I looked over my shoulder to find a classmate glaring at me with the face of the Devil. Even I couldn’t bring myself to look away. Best-Friend-san was slowly making her way towards me, and thinking of escaping, I moved backwards, but the bed blocked the way.

When Best-Friend-san was finally about to grab a hold of my collar, I received help from the one that probably should have been resting no matter what the circumstance. The girl quickly got off the bed and tightly hugged Best-Friend-san.

“I’ll calm Kyouko down, so-!”

“Ah, then, bye!”

Having been made to - or rather - in order to escape from Best-Friend-san, I left the ward. I was always running away whenever she arrived. Finally, as I masterfully ignored Best-Friend-san loudly screaming my name, my third visit came to an end. It felt like her sickly sweet scent still lingered on my body.

Just like I had expected - or perhaps I shouldn’t say it in such a manner, since I hadn’t actually gotten a clear idea about what had happened, but - the next day, on Sunday night, I received a message from the girl, and I learnt the truth behind the matter which she seemed to have been hiding that day.

The duration of her hospitalisation had been extended two weeks longer than planned.

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#translations #i want to eat your pancreas #novel #kimi no suizou wo tabetai

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