#I KNOWWWW TOMATO TOMATO

[unbrandedpam]

Do you ever just think.

[wavypotatochips]

Hey angel! I’ve loved all the Sergio fics you’ve written! Can I request reader being younger than him and dating him but she’s never been with anyone in bed so she has her first time with him please? And he’s very sweet and patience and he never forces himself on her please? Thank you 🙏

𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 | 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬 [ 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖, Minors DNI ]

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Sergio Ramos x Female Reader

Word Count : 2.3k

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: This took me so long because I have never wrote NSFW before, but ya knowwww first time for everything right? ANYWAYSSS I Hope you like how I represent your idea ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚!!

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ REQUESTS ARE OPEN, currently covered in college work so as of now uploads will mainly be on weekends. Thank you for your patience c’: ♥

You are head over heels in love with Sergio Ramos, a man who makes your heart skip a beat every time you see him. You love the way he laughs, the way he talks, and the way he looks at you with those warm, affectionate eyes. Every moment spent with Sergio feels like a blessing, whether you're going out on a date or simply spending time together at home. You feel like you can be your true self around him, and he accepts you unconditionally for who you are. When you're apart, you find yourself daydreaming about Sergio, thinking about all the wonderful moments you've shared and all the exciting adventures you have yet to experience together. You can't wait to see him again, to hold him close, to feel his warm embrace. Despite the media's constant attempts to portray you as being with him solely for financial gain due to your 3-year age difference, it is obvious that you are madly in love with him.

You walk into your home to the delightful aroma of delicious food cooking in the kitchen, and as you approach, you see Sergio donning a chef's hat and apron, fully engrossed in the art of cooking. You laugh as you ask, "What's cookin' good lookin'?" while admiring his chef attire and thinking how adorable he looks. You informed Sergio before you left earlier that you didn't want to go anywhere for your anniversary because you simply wanted to spend time with him and him only. Despite your current fame as a model, your upbringing in poverty left you with the belief that you shouldn't spend a lot of money on pricier items. Sergio believed that by preparing a meal for you, he might add some personal touches to the evening as he is aware that you don't like to flaunt your riches or eat at upscale establishments. With a big smile on his face, Sergio greets you with a warm hug and kiss, then turns your attention to the kitchen table, where he has set up a beautifully decorated table with candles, flowers, and your favorite music playing in the background. As it was a beautiful day outdoors when you were shopping, you are wearing a yellow sundress and white sandals to show off your newly painted toes. You smile and lean forward to take in the fragrance of the flowers, " Cariño, no tenías que hacer todo esto (Honey, you didn't have to do all of this)," you say. "I have to, of course. Las princesas siempre deben ser tratadas como tal. ( Princesses should always be treated like one.)"  Your smile is still present as you shake your head. He has always been a gentleman towards you.

“You didn't find anything you liked?,” He questions seeing you don't have any shopping bags as he places a plate of  delicious tomato and basil bruschetta, drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar in front of you.  “No, I didn't find much… Thank you baby,” you respond as you pick up the piece of bread, biting into it. As you savor the flavors of the freshy tomatoes, Sergio tells you how much he loves you and how grateful he is to have you in his life. "Cariño, solo quiero que sepas cuánto te amo y te adoro. Nunca me hubiera imaginado hace dos años que estaría con un ángel como tú. (Baby, I just want you to know how much I love and adore you. I would have never imagined two years ago I would be with an angel like you.) You are the most important person in my life, and I cannot imagine my world without you. Cada momento que pasamos juntos es un tesoro que atesoro con todo mi corazón. (Every moment we spend together is a treasure that I cherish with all my heart.)" Hearing his sincere remarks, you pout your bottom lip as his love and affection fill your heart. “Te amo y te adoro tanto, mi amor. (I love and adore you just as much, my love.) Thank you for being there for me and for showing me your unending affection.”

After you finish eating your "appetizer," Sergio takes the plate from you and puts it in the sink. A few minutes later he brings out a succulent roasted chicken, perfectly seasoned and cooked to perfection. He serves it alongside a colorful medley of roasted vegetables, including carrots, zucchini, bell peppers, and rice. He knows chicken and rice is your favorite and you dislike eating items that are too heavy on your stomach, so he thought he could cook it with a bit more of his personal touch. Given that you are often the one cooking and that if not you, he hires a chef, you are taken aback when you see the plate in front of you. He removes the chef's hat and coat he is wearing, hangs them up in the kitchen, and then sits across from you. “Let's eat shall we?,” he says and you eagerly nod. Throughout the dinner, Sergio keeps you entertained with his charming personality and witty jokes, making sure you feel loved and cherished. Overall, the evening is a perfect celebration of your love for each other, and you couldn't have asked for a better partner than Sergio Ramos.

The two of you went into the living room after supper to watch a movie and drink wine. The wine bottle is empty by the time the movie is an hour into it, and the two of you are making out. 

Moaning against his lips, you are straddling his waist and exchanging saliva. He presses you into him by placing his hands on your ass and starting to rock you back and forth. Although dressed in jeans, he has a noticeable bulge. You start to experience intense arousal, and you decide that this is the night you want him to take your virginity. Two years have passed since you two started dating, and those two years have been full of love, charm, and happiness. Just as you wanted to see all of him, you also wanted him to see all of you.  Sergio never makes you do anything you didn't want to do; he always asks you first before moving forward. The way you are leading the kiss and pressing against him a little more firmly than usual has given him the impression that you might go farther this time. Normally, after you two make out, he goes into the bathroom to satisfy himself with his hand.

"Want take this to the room?" you ask as you gently pry yourself away from him. He pants as well, asking, "Are you sure?," because he knows you already know what that will result in. You nod while biting your lower lip. As he pulls you up, he presses his lips once more against yours and gives you a tender kiss. You wrap your legs around his waist as he proceeds towards the bedroom. He kicks open the bedroom door, groaning into your lips as he lays you on the bed. When your dress rises, he crawls on top of you, lovingly kissing your neck before laying his hand on your exposed thigh. He rubs your thigh and asks, "May I?," edging ever-closer to your panties. Your panties are soaked just from him stroking your thigh and the earlier things he did. You bite your lower lip while nodding. "Words my love," he raises his head and begins to nip at your earlobe. After your makeout session, you still can't catch your breath as you pant out, appearing to be out of breath, "Yes, my love." He presses his lips once more on yours while massaging your clit with his hands as he glides over your underwear. Your gasp from the unknown wonderful sensation allows him to slip his tongue inside your mouth. You thrust your hips upward to exert greater pressure on his hand, which makes him sneer in defiance of your demands. He bites your bottom lip, pulls back a little, and mumbles against your lips,   “Princess is so eager, huh?,” before releasing go. He stops touching your panties, gets out of bed, and starts to unbuckle his belt and take off his shirt. He needed his boner to be released because it was throbbing and felt trapped against his pants. He unzips his pants and lets them fall to the ground as he flings his belt to the ground. You start to fear you can't handle him as you open your eyes slightly in response to how huge his bulge was, but the tingling sensation between your thighs told you otherwise. As you spread your legs wider to allow him to fit between you, he leans back on top of you and presses his lips hungrily back against yours. Only the thin cotton of your damp underwear and his boxers were in between the two of you, so you can feel his boner more intensely. He moves your panties to the side and runs his finger over the wet slit before inserting one of his fingers. As your legs tighten up against him, you gasp at the sensation. He gently pulls his lips away from yours as he enjoys the sound of your small moans against his ear. He keeps moving slowly until he thinks he can add another finger. When he finally does, you whimper in pleasure. You had touched yourself before, so you are not entirely naïve, but his fingers felt very different from yours. You start to press your hips against his fingers in an effort to get him to move more quickly, but he resists. Instead, he reclines and asks, "Are you sure you want to do this? " while gazing down at your face. With love in his eyes, he continues, "If you're not sure, it's okay, darling. 

You nod your head, determined that this is what you want, “I want it. I want you.” Sergio has always made you feel comfortable throughout the entire relationship and by him reassuring you that it is okay if you do not want it only made you want him even more. You love this boy with your entire heart. He kisses your forehead, nodding his head as he begins to kiss and suck on your neck, more than likely creating hickies, as he begins to slip off his boxers. Once his boxers are off, he begins to slip your panties down as well until they are completely off. Once they are off, he rubs his tip against your slit to lube it up with your wetness. He kisses you on your lips, “Tell me if it is too much, Okay?” He says, causing you to nod your head. He begins to slowly push his tip inside, the feeling being uncomfortable for you as it was a weird sensation. Meanwhile, Sergio is trying not to cum already from the tightness of your pussy wrapped around his tip. He groans against your ear, causing you to feel turned on even more. He begins to slowly thrust his tip in you back and forth until your pussy welcomes him more and more. Your legs begin to clench against him, you pant softly as you tremble underneath him. Maybe because you are a secret masochist, but the slight painful but pleasurable feeling made you feel so good.  “I love you so much, you know that?,” He whispers against your ear as he continues to go deeper inside of you. By now, your mind begins to feel cloudy as you are only focussing on the feeling of him entering inside of you. He makes sure to go slow, until now, he is about 2 inches inside of you. He feels himself not being able to fully go inside as your hymen was restricting him. “Princess this may hurt a little bit, but I promise itll feel okay after?,” he says as he kisses your forehead. You nod your head biting your bottom lip softly as he wraps one around your neck forcing your head to press against his chest. He thrust harder inside of you, causing your hymen to break, and allow him to get half way inside. You wince harshly as you grip his sides, a shaky breath escapes your lips. Sergio is using all of his internal strength to not bust inside of you as you squeezed him tightly. As he lets go of you so your head can lay back on the bed, he begins to whisper sweet nothings into your ear and remain still so you could get used to his size before he continues on. A few minutes pass and you begin to move yourself up and down, hinting you wanted him to continue on. He gets the memo and continues on, thrusting inside of you slowly until he is fully inside of you.

As the minutes pass, you become more at ease with him inside of you, and the pleasure outweighs the discomfort, and you are able to adjust yourself. Your dress hem is now up to your belly button as you throw your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. This allows him to push deeper into you, which makes him groan, "Damn Y/N you feel so amazing." You moan next to him and enjoy how his long, firm cock stuffed you.

The rest of the night followed by the both of you not just having sex, but making love. 

Sergio has always been deeply in love with you. He is completely smitten by you and can't imagine his life without you. And of course, you  feel the same way about him as you two have a strong and loving relationship. Sergio feels incredibly lucky to have been blessed with you in this lifetime, the one who loves him equally as much as he loves you. He is grateful for the love and joy that his girlfriend brings to his life, and he looks forward to a future filled with happiness and love.

[lepidopteragirl]

hello soap love life enjoyers. i have a new Event for you. okay. scene. me. girl i like. in this cafe on campus sharing a salad. (i am eating all of the tomatoes out of my hand so she doesn’t have to see them (she HATES them) and she is eating the pile of diced cold cuts they put on top of the salad for some godforsaken reason (i don’t eat meat)) and im telling her about how i walked in on my roommate yesterday. etc etc. she says smth and i say. like. dude keep it down💀. i feel bad talking about this bc what if someone she knows hears. you’re telling me?. there’s a difference between telling one of my closest friends about this and like half the school who’s also here for lunch. and i’m gesturing around the room as i do this only look back at her at the very end so i only saw it for like a split second but she’s got the stupidest fucking smile on her face. like. you know what i’m saying? the silly looking ones. like. i don’t knowwww!!! real ones get it…. anyways. guys at i crazy nuts bananas what does this mean

[fairycosmos]

Your opinion on men in their 30s going for girls who are 18 (everyone says it's legal but it doesn't sit right with me lol)

GROSS!! throwing tomatoes!! warning everyone against them idc IDCCCC!! do you knowwww how many women i know who were taken advantage of at 18 by those dudes. there's a reason women their own age aren't going for them. im 23 right. i think of myself at 18. i think of the slow and painful and intensely significant growth that has occurred since then. and i want to be sick frankly

[foundationsofdecay]

i knowwww i could pickle these myself but i miss the pickle guys so much :( i loved being able to pick up pickled cherry tomato and red onion and garlic to cook w/ but also smaller amounts of stuff like mango or pineapple as a treat. and an absolutely banger half sour pickle to munch on while walking back to my place ofc. their pickled peppers were good too but i wasn't really eating those at the time and i regret not having ever made anything w/ their horseradish or getting a jar of their olive brine to drink bc at this point i really would do that

[tomato-fendo-writes]

Hi tomato! I have been reading One last miracle over and over again! This fic is like a breath of fresh air! Keep up the good work!

I just like to aso, ever since tekken 8 gave Lars the win line to Jin "You did well, I am proud of you." Got me thinking of stuff. Would it also influence your fic if Lars ever arrives? I mean it is kinda wholesome uncle and nephew bonding.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! thats so flattering sdfjkdsf, im legit beaming over here

AND I KNOWWWW THAT WIN QUOTE HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY BRAIN. its so... familiar? doting? i paused and went 🅰 when i saw it, i am BEGGING for some actual relationship between Lars and Jin - the more complicated the better, i say lol. their potential relationship post-tk6 was actually what truly got me in tekken in the first place!

as for the fic, Lars will be showing up yes!! still ironing things out with what im doing with him, but he does play an important role in the second half (???) of this fic. and not just in regards to Jin - Lars's existence isn't quite the footnote it is to Kazuya in this as it is in canon. can't say much, but i look forward to his arrival and hope you do too!

[livealittleoc-cb]

💼. I have another one for you!

[COFFIN] + AceLix + ❝ you’re gonna need a bigger coffin. ❞

@welcome-to-maniac

⭐: Oooo this could be so cute! I'm assuming you wanted vamp! Ace~

[ COFFIN. ]  the sender stumbles upon the receiver sleeping in a coffin. 

The sudden shift of species had made Ace a little whiny. He had gotten one of Jay's napping coffins that she normally used even as a witch. He hadn't seen anyone else since the shift and he had gotten pouty. He was texting Lix, whining and complaining about how he couldn't go out in the sun anymore and how he couldn't eat garlic bread.

King of Hearts🥰💘

I'm sad :(

Fairy Kitten Lixie🧚💕

What's wrong sweetheart?

King of Hearts🥰💘

I can't eat garlic bread

And I miss you :(

Lix smiled at the text as he laughed lightly and shook his head starting to get himself up.

Fairy Kitten Lixie🧚💕

I'll be right there~

I'll bring you something that won't kill you

Ace whined a little about the fact that he was getting no garlic bread but then squealed when he processed that Lix was coming. He got another text saying that he'll be stopping by in an hour. That meant he could clean up and take a nap in the cramp coffin he had to call his bed now. He pouted a little as he putting a couple flowers inside of it for decoration and smell before going to cleaning up his room a little. He yawned as he stretched out before nuzzling into the coffin's bedding in a bit of an awkward position.

He slowly and painfully fell asleep, soft snores leaving him as he dozed off.

An hour had passed, Lix finishing up doing some last minute chores and making some quick brownies for the other man. He hummed to himself as he grabbe his jacket before calling out to Min. "I'm going to Ace's!"

"Are you two finally dating?~" The older teased as the blonde gave him an unamused look.

"I don't know what you mean- Bye." He said as Minho, chuckled under his breath as the younger just grumbled a bit of a flush creeping on his neck.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about." He muttered to himself as he sent a text to Ace that he was coming now.

Once at Ace's place he knocked and waited for him to come and open the door. After five minutes he tried again, knocking and not getting an answer. He pursed his lips as he went to look for the extra key he had hidden away for emergencies like this. He unlocked the door and wondered into the home not having any reason to worry. He placed the brownies in Ace's kitchen noticing the tomato juice along the kitchen counter. He also noticed the metalic smell of blood that he wrinkled his nose at.

He hummed taking off his jacket before walking up to Ace's room's door and knocking. "Ace?" He said softly, not getting an answer he tried the knob before noticing it was unlocked. He walked in and noticed the coffin along the wall. Hearing soft snores from it he giggled under his breath as he went to the coffin. He knocked against it, laughing as he heard a whine. He stepped back as the door opened and he saw Ace in all his new glory. His pale skin shimmered, his pink irises glowed with a red under tone and fangs in full display.

"Huh? It's been an hour..." He asked while Lix nodded with another giggle helping the sleepy man out of his coffin.

"Yes...I also think you're going to need a bigger coffin." He said as he eyed the very much smaller coffin. Ace whined with a pout as he held Felix's hand.

"I knowwww, this used to be Ari's."

"Makes sense." He chuckled as he squeezed his hand lightly before tugging him along. "Come on Cupid, I made brownies.~" Ace perked up as he bounced behind him, while Lix texted Min to help him find someone who made coffins, preferably a pink one, to give to Ace along with looking for decorations that the man would like to cover it in.

[theyamjam]

30, 79, 93!!!! h opefully i remembered the numbers right oughh

30 (what's your favorite candle scent?): UMMM last time i said vanilla but i might ve changed my mind. my brother uses this really nice 'soft linen' scented candle and its verry very subtle but it smells really nice :0]

73 (do you want to get married?): idont knowwwe i dnt knowwww,,, i think it owuld depend on what my partner wants if i ever were to have one!! im pretty indifferent about it because.if im in a relationship with someone am i not doing it with the intention to spend the rest of my life with them anyways?

93 (last thing you ate?): pizza calzone 4 dinner r <3<3 at least i think it was pizza calzone? it had some toppings that derive from what u usually put on a pizza but it still ahd the crust and veggies (and really nice mushrooms,,,,) OH AND THESE REALLY YUMMY BITS OF TOMATO it was nice

[all-pacas]

"is *that* what you were getting at?" or "I honestly have no idea"

She and Yeza talk about it for fucking ages before they actually go through with it. Not like, arguing talking, just hashing it out: he’s okay with it, but thinks she needs to be the one to bring it up, and Veth is just like lolololwhatno and that goes around for a while: shouldn’t he do it? Since she doesn’t have to worry as much about being rejected — and that sets off a whole thing, like, Yeza worrying he will be rejected and Veth trying to walk it back and it isn’t like he will be rejected, just that she knows she won’t be and since it’s a little less pre-established in his case…

And so on.

Finally, a couple of months after Veth ends up accidentally somehow helping to save the world, it happens: in the middle of their victory party she just turns to Caleb and yells: “Do you want to live with us!?” 

And he’s like yes, and then she’s like, oh fuck, and clarifies: “I mean, be with us!”

Yes, he says.

“ME AND YEZA,” she clarifies, possibly a little drunk. (But like, it’s their victory party, so it’s okay, just this once. Like, this is the good stuff. And they protected the material plane from an all consuming entity of darkness.)

I would be happy to, he says.

So there’s some more stuff and then he moves in to their condo, gets the whole third floor to himself, helps Yeza turn the terrace into a garden for alchemy ingredients and poisons and also tomatoes, starts tutoring Luc, hangs out with Veth all the time, and it’s so great, it’s really amazing, she’s so happy, except Yeza keeps turning to her like uh what? and she’s like I knowwww.

And months pass, but it’s like, how do you admit you’re working on a false premise if it’s been months and you’re also all having a really lovely time? Caleb starts talking about opening up a goddamn magic school and Yeza buys a little storefront down the street and so Veth just starts hinting, kind of desperately: Caleb, I’m going to take a nap, you were up all night reading, you wanna rest up too?, for example.

And then they have a really nice goddamn nap in the garden.

Or: Caleb, do you like my new dress? 

Which he just is like, yes, of course I do.

Doesn’t Yeza’s butt look cute when he gardens!? she shouts, desperately.

Oh, did you want some privacy tonight? Caleb asks, concerned.

How the heck did you ever manage to get married, Yeza asks her that night, bewildered.

I don’t knowwww, she wails.

She tries a more serious tack: You know… I was thinking about the past the other day. Remember when we first met? This is really stupid, but I thought you were kind of hot.

He smiles. I thought you thought I smelled bad.

Well, you did. But in a hot way.

He laughs gently and talks about how far they’ve both come, how wonderful their bond is, they’re best friends forever, blah blah blah.

Can’t you do something about this? she asks Yeza.

So the next night, he sits down with Caleb after dinner. You know, Veth and I agonized about inviting you to live with us, he says. We were worried you wouldn’t want to, that  you’d feel trapped or hemmed in.

I hope you don’t feel that way any longer, Caleb says; I’ve … well, you know, I haven’t had a home in a very long time, and this time has been… 

He trails off and all Veth can see is the big flashing I murdered my parents angst bomb rolling at them, he’s going to get serious and sentimental and sure enough, they talk gently about past regrets and the promise of the future for the rest of the night. And it’s wonderful and she’s so happy for Caleb, and it would have been so much fucking easier if at that victory party last year she had simply yelled BY THE WAY YEZA AND I ARE SWINGERS in front of all of goddamn Wildemount. 

A few months later, Caleb is the one to pull them aside after dinner  one night, once Luc has gone to bed and Veth has finished the dishes. “I’ve been agonizing over this, but I have something I’d like to ask you,” he starts, and then gives this big, sincere speech about how much their and especially Veth’s friendship means to him, his new life, his hopes for the future and the  ways he has her to thank for it — wonderful stuff, very touching, but he starts getting really vague about three quarters through, talking about closeness and bonds  and how things do not turn out as planned, they all know this, and yet he would be remiss if, and he knows it’s foolish, and yet he hopes— and she and Yeza both interrupt him at the same moment:

“Do you have a crush on me!?” “Do you want to sleep with us!?”

And Caleb turns very very red, opens and closes his mouth  a few times, makes a very strangled noise, and kind of  twitches his head up and then down.

“It’s been two years!” Veth shrieks. 

“I’m sorry, I–”

“I can’t believe he’s the one who managed to ask first, this is a little embarrassing,” Yeza says.

“What?”

“We’ve been trying to seduce you for two goddamn—”

“Closer to three, really, but Veth is surprisingly terrible at–”

“Fuck you, I seduced you,”

“I—”

“I told you you needed to be direct about it.”

“Whenever you tried, you’d just set off the Caleb angst bomb trap and we’d just talk about our feelings all goddamn night!”

“I’m sorry, you two were — you’ve wanted…” Caleb trails off.

“Why do you think we wanted you to live with us in the first place?” Veth asks.

Caleb replays every conversation of the last few years in his head:  she can practically read the subtitles in his eyes. She and Yeza watch nervously, bickering forgotten… and then Caleb surprises her by laughing, not a half chuckle but an actual laugh: “Is that what you’ve been getting at all this time? You really are worse than I am at this.”

“Like I said,” says Yeza.

“Fuck you both,” Veth says, and then she does.

[bemtevis]

I like that you gave Cordelia brown slightly reddish hair, as it should be. I’m done seeing anime fanart of Cordelia where her hair is somehow tomato red.

I KNOWWWW

I'm so glad people liked it! Dark-haired Cordelia my beloved 💖

I was about to bring her OfFiCiAL flower card to prove your point but no one deserves to see that akdjdj

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 84

Somehow I managed to get this chapter written, despite a pinched nerve that left me, essentially, on bed rest for two days.  I keep telling myself I need to make a buffer of chapters, but my life has decided not to cooperate...

I hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy. Where I live, we are currently under a stay-at-home order, and my company (essential) finally got us up and running to work from home this past week. So I at least have that, and I’m aware how fortunate I am for that.

As always, my inbox and ask box are wide open, so feel free to drop me a line.  I love interacting with people on a normal basis.

Somewhat more disturbed than usual, I left Xiomara’s office with Charly in tow.  I was about to let her know she was okay to head home when I realized I didn’t really have a choice - Xio made it very clear that I needed an escort with me at all times.  Conor was still at work, Tyche stayed behind with my fellow Councillor, and Maverick was likely off work but at home.  Charly, however, was right here and one look at her face let me know she was taking her new duties seriously.

“I can call GK,” I tried in vain.

“Nope.” She popped the ‘p’ emphatically. “I have a job to do, and ulterior motives. Ninja grandma isn’t taking my spot.” I arched a brow in inquiry, and wasn’t left disappointed. “Ma’am. Suspected cult leader? Attempted viking overlord? And this person clearly has it in for you? Do the guys know? Does Derek know? Hell, does Arthur know?”

“Why do I feel like Arthur outranks my actual partners in that list?”

“He was a warlord, and apparently your bestie in a past life? Stop stalling and talk. Start at freaking cult leader?”

“Alleged.”

“Sophia Michelle, I swear to - “

“That’s not my middle name.”

“And that’s not the point!”

Well, I tried. With a sigh, I surrendered to the inevitable.  “A bunch of people have been acting suspiciously lately, all over the Ark.  Anti-social, darting eyes, hushed whispers, all that stuff.  Tyche and I thought it was just us, until Noah and I were walking one day and a group of them just plowed into us.”  I stopped and ran a hand through my hair anxiously. “If it had happened even a week earlier, I would have just shrugged it off and been done.  The issue was this.” I tapped my temple emphatically.  “Tyche insisted that I get the proximity update to my implant, to avoid being triggered by people walking into me.”

“Well, yeah, that makes sense,” she shrugged brightly.  “Not like I didn’t notice… I can’t exactly sneak up and hug you anymore.” She scowled comically.

I let a small smile creep onto my face before continuing. “Right. Well, this was a group of about eight people.  They either all ignored the alert, or somehow turned it off.  We - well, Derek and Zach - are still trying to figure out which it was. Either way, it was a cause for concern, so a bunch of us brought it to Xiomara. We suspected it might be a cult, so Grey was also consulted.  They agreed there was a possibility, but pointed out we need inside information. Jokull Bjornson, recipient of your feral tendencies, is our best guess for the leader if it is a cult. So, Xio said she would look into it, but essentially told me that anyone associated with me would be out of the loop.”

“So why is Tyche…?”

“I don’t knowwww!” I whined in frustration.  “And it’s not like she can tell me, so I can’t exactly ask, because I don’t want her to feel bad, right?”

“Ugh, that sucks,” she agreed.  “And you have no idea why this guy hates your kidneys?”

“Eyeah, as far as that goes? You know as much as I do, and I know that isn’t much right now.”

She shrugged before bouncing on her toes. “Don’t worry.  I’ll talk to Coffee, he’ll probably agree to shadow you some of the time.  And it would be from a distance, so you wouldn’t feel like a kid being walked to kindergarten.” When I looked at her, skeptical, she shrugged again. “He likes you.”

“He’s spoken maybe four words to me,” I pointed out.

“And yet, you understand him.  That means he likes you.”

My mind reeling, we made the rest of the way to my quarters with small talk.  However, when we arrived, Charly refused to head home until she saw Maverick and the door closed behind me.  I swear, I get confronted once…

“Why did Charly look like an attack marten?”

Nuggets. “There was an incident today,” I groaned before peeking up at the ceiling. “Miys? Were you recording in Xiomara Kalloe’s office between 1800 and 1900 subjective ship time?”

“I was not, Wisdom.”

Figures.  Special ops of whatever flavor Xio had been did not lend well to being surveilled.  “Okay, thank you.” I looked back at Maverick.  “I don’t want to explain this again, so give me a second.  I was recording, because I knew this would happen.”  After some fidgeting to isolate the conversation in Xio’s office, I flicked the file over to Maverick.  “It’s audio only, but it at least saves me some time.”  I left him to watch it while I wandered into the food prep area for a drink.

I managed to swallow my second sip of wine before an angry shout came from the living room. “What the hell!?” was followed by Maverick striding into the kitchen and checking me over. “Were you hit? Did he fucking touch you?”

My arm was tangled in my shirt before I was able to stop him. “Mav… Maverick.. Babe! Stop! I swear, I’m fine.  Even Charly is fine - “

“Charly being fine is Coffee’s concern - “

“But we are both okay,” I finished.  “I swear, he didn’t even touch me.  Charly shoved me out of the way before he could.”

“I’m gonna - I need to get Conor, we’re gonna kill - “

“Listen to the rest of the recording,” I begged.  “He didn’t just walk away, I promise.”

After a couple of deep breaths and another glance to make sure I was okay, Maverick nodded. “I’m going to play this entire thing when Conor is home, probably after securing him to something that is bolted to the deck.”

“Well, that’s one way to keep him from flying off the handle,” I mused.

“Uh huh,” he replied sardonically, not even a bit fooled by what I was implying. “I don’t think even that is going to distract him.”

“It was worth a shot.”

“I think French toast has a better chance.”

“Gotcha.  French toast and lots of restraints.”  

That got a laugh out of Maverick, and he finally let go of my shoulders.  While he shot a message to our third to skip the overtime, I started getting ingredients together for a hearty breakfast-for-dinner meal.  We managed to time it just right, so the main dish came out of the oven just as Conor was finishing his shower.

Any hope that we even partially fooled him was dashed right after he sat down and saw the spread.  First he grinned, then got serious, and one glance at the broiled tomatoes gave it away.  “Neither of you like those,” Conor pointed to the offending dish with a whine. “Something bad happened, didn’t it?”  He glanced at our expressions before sighing and filling his plate.  “Alright, what gives? Another plague?  Ship stalled in space? Lost forever in subspace or whatever?”

“Something happened today,” I ventured carefully.  “I sent Maverick a recording, and he can play it if you want…”

To his credit, Conor held up one hand while he shoveled a piece of French toast into his mouth as fast as he could chew, quickly followed by one fried egg and two pieces of sausage. Finally, he nodded. “Okay. Got enough to make sure I’m not reacting on an empty stomach.”

“I just ask that you listen to the entire recording, no matter how bad it is at the beginning?”

He sighed again, held up his hand, chugged a glass of milk.  “Okay. I will do everything in my power to sit right here and not touch anything fragile or talk until I hear the whole thing.”

I really couldn’t ask for more than that, so I nodded to Maverick. Once he pulled up the audio recording, we sat tensely until it finished.  The only sounds outside of the record were Conor grinding his teeth and both men clenching their hands tightly enough to pop the joints.  Their expressions were a kaleidoscope of emotions, finally settling on determination when they heard Xiomara insist that I have an escort until further notice.

Snagging seconds of everything, Conor nodded to Maverick. “Us, Tyche, apparently Charly.. You think that Farro bloke?”

“He would,” Maverick agreed, digging into his own now-cold plate of food.  “Don’t forget Grandma Kim.” Conor pointed emphatically with his fork at the suggestion.

“Wait, what are you two doing?” I sputtered.  “Putting together a hit squad?”

“Ach, no,” Conor dismissed my suggestion.  “Escort detail.  If we wanted to take the fucker out, we’d leave it to Tyche and Farro and be done.”

“Not you?” I was so confused.

Maverick shook his head, gesturing with one finger between the two men. “We would feel guilty and regret it, probably the rest of our lives.  Those two, especially with someone who is endangering you again?  Probably would sleep better the night they did it.”

Conor nodded enthusiastically. “But I’m rather fond of your sister, and the Farro fella is alright I guess, so I’d hate to see them sedated and popped out an airlock at FTL speeds.”

“Oh,” I replied dumbly. I expected to have to calm them down, not to see them make such merciless decisions so quickly. “Um. In that case.  Charly said she’d talk to Coffee about shadowing me some of the time?”

I jumped when Conor hit the table with one hand. “See, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! We’ll keep you safe, Sophie… Aw, shit…” He jumped up and knocked the chair over as I dissolved into tears.

My eyes were closed so tightly that I actually lashed out as arms circled around me.  It was only when a smooth cheek pressed against my own that my body recognized it was Maverick and surrendered to protection.  Vaguely, I could hear Conor speaking, but just enough to register that it wasn’t directed at me, so the words just didn’t register as important.

When I finally calmed down, I was curled tightly in a ball on a soft surface, black hair obstructing my vision.  Maverick’s voice was speaking, an almost-chant that was soothing me. “I’m right here. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You’re safe. I’m right here…”  I realized he was rubbing me briskly, alternating between my arms and my legs.

With a sniff, I lifted my head.  “I’m sorry,” I started.

He shushed me. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he assured me.  “It was a tense situation, and you expected one of us to get angry, so when Conor hit the table, your body didn’t realize it was a cheer and not anger.  You just heard someone you expected to be angry hitting something. It’s okay.”

“Conor…?” I started to ask, not able to make the words go.

“Not mad,” a voice from the door assured me.  When I wormed my way to see his face, Conor was sitting on the floor, back against the door frame.  “As soon as I saw your face collapse, I realized what I did.  I’m sorry, Sophie.  But I swear I’m not mad. Or upset, or disappointed, or any of those things that your mind is trying to over-pick at.  I just feel like an idiot, that’s all.”

“You’re not a idiot,” I insisted.

He grinned. “And you’ll defend me to your dying day, I think. But I should have been more mindful, and I will be. I swear. No loud noises when Sophie’s nervous - it isn’t a huge request.  I can leave the room, just like when I’m mad, right?”  That grin never lost its sunny nature, and I knew he meant it.

He stood to come over, and I felt Maverick’s arms tighten around me. “You upset her again, I’m going to knock your lights out,” a voice warned over my shoulder.

“I’d let you do it, mate,” Conor replied sincerely, holding out his hand.  I reached for it, but he merely squeezed my fingers before reaching further.

He wanted Maverick’s permission, I realized. Not just mine.  Tension flooded what I now realized was our bedroom before Maverick finally took Conor’s hand.  “I mean it,” he insisted with a warning tone.  “Do better, or I’m going to knock you out every time you, personally, upset her.”

“Someone should,” Conor agreed sincerely.

“Violence is not the way to handle this,” I sniffed. “There’s a learning curve, but it’s pretty steep with all the anxiety on the ship right now.” Wriggling so I could see them both, I tried to muster a stern look. “Episodes like this are going to happen. We’re just going to have to learn, together, how to navigate them.”

“Still, no loud noises when Sophie’s nervous.”

Maverick nodded. “That definitely seems like a good starting point.”

I couldn’t exactly argue with that.

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[mccrps]

Talbott Winger x Reader 

A/N: WOW HI GUYS I’M BACK FROM MY CRAZY LONG ASS HIATUS WITH NOT ONE BUT TWO FICS FOR YOU OF OUR BOI TALBOTT. I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT THEY FINALLY LET US BECOME HIS FRIEND AND EVEN A LOVE INTEREST SO YOU KNOWWWW I JUMPED AT THAT OPPORTUNITY.  REQUESTS ARE OPEN, PART 2 IS UP. THANK YOU GUYS AND ENJOY <3

PART 2 

Warning: Some cursing, but that’s it?? Nothing as crazy as I usually write lmao

He was cold where I was hot.

Calm cool and collected, the complete opposite of me.

“Well, opposites do attract.” My friend’s voice brought me back to the table, chatter around us filled the great hall.

“But..” I started, opening my mouth to counteract her.

“Yeah, yeah we know, we know you’re ‘taken’ but c’mon are you though?” Again her voice resonated something within me. Comfort. Trust. I could trust them, they were my friends. But hell, even I didn’t know what was going on with me and Barnaby and I knew even less about where Talbott and I stood.

“Barnaby and I...right now...we’re in a complicated position-I mean place?” She snickered hearing my choice of words and I threw her a quick glare before looking back at our other friend. “I just-we’re not bad...but we’re not good?” I hesitated in my words, not sure how to explain what was going on. They both looked at me. Waiting. Their faces lit up knowing whatever I said was going to be wild.

“Well..” I ran a hand through my hair and my friends eyes nearly tripled in size when her eyes met my neck. Immediately I covered it with my hair almost frantically.

“Oh. MY. GOD.” Both of them practically attacked me, I felt hands on me, heard loud whispers in my ear. Somehow my friend who was sat in front of me was now on the other side of me? “What did he do to your neck?” Another loud whisper. “Fuck Barn’s a fucking vampire.” “Honestly that’s kind of hot” “Yeah but look at her neck, this is kinky shit. What the hell are you guys doing?” “Oh my god why haven’t you used the spell to conceal them. God!” I saw a wand and felt it press against my neck. A slight coldness and then nothing. “Woooow, wait till Barnaby sees his work disappeared. He’ll definitely want to paint you all over again.” I saw her eyebrows wiggling and my face immediately went from pink to tomato red in a matter of seconds. Yes they were my friends but this was my sex life on the table.

“Okay! Okay, just stop talking so loud.” I tried to calm them both down and covered my neck again with my hair. “Okay. So like I said, Barnaby and me....we aren’t good but we’re not bad. But that’s in relationship point of view but I don’t even know if we’re dating or if we’re just-“

“Fucking.”

“A lot by the way”

“Like all the time.”

“Like if you didn’t silence yourselves we’d hear live porn daily.”

“More than daily. What is it? Three times a day?”

“I lost count honestly.”

“Too much dick burns the wick-“

“Oh my fucking god can you two stop for two seconds! Please!” I looked around to make sure everyone else was minding their business. “Look. I will admit 90% of our relationship is sex.” I stopped them before they could cut me off. “But the sex is...” I had to stop and think of the best word to describe it. A breathy sigh left me before I could realize.

“Oh my god are you thinking about it right now you horn dog.”

“Keep it in your skirt.”

“You guys! I need your help about me and Talbott not an assessment on me and Barnaby’s....whatever.”

“We are helping you.”

“By telling you how crazy things are with you and Barnaby so you can get it through your brain. You don’t need another guy in your life.”

“But-“ I started again, a sad look coming across my face as I tried to explain myself. “Maybe...okay hear me out. Clean break from Barnaby.”

They both looked at each other and nearly brought themselves to tears with laughter. I glared at them both.

“You have no idea how bad you got it, girl.” My friend shook her head before sighing loudly and giggling again.

“What she’s trying to say is...” I turned to the other, but almost immediate I tuned her out. My eyes were still sad knowing they didn’t support me and what I wanted, but my brain was already turning and working out the kinks to my plan. “..we care about you, that’s all.”

“I know, I know. You’re my best friends, I love you both. And you’re right, you’re right. I’ll stay away from Winger.” They both rolled their eyes at me, knowing I never listen. I dusted off some imaginary crumbs off my skirt and stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“To find Barnaby.”

They both shook their heads and jumped into another conversation as I made my way out of the hall.

I turned to go towards the dormitory but a certain brunette caught my eye.

It seemed I caught his as well.

We both stopped in our tracks.

A couple feet between us but the tension was as apparent as ever.

I was sure he felt it too.

I opened my mouth to speak but I was stuck, so I bit my lip, hoping he would say or do something first.

He didn’t.

Well.

I swore I saw him smirk before he turned away from me and kept walking.

My knees almost buckled beneath me, I all but slammed back into the cold wall behind me.

Fuck.

My friends were right. I needed to stay away from him.

So why were my legs suddenly following him?

[eltonjohndenver]

Skyping Stucky

A/N: BASED ON THIS and THIS 

-INFINITY WAR DIDN’T HAPPEN- MY BOYS ARE SKYPING ASKHSJDK-

Word count: 966?

Warnings: Swearing, flufffffff, slightly dirty??? i mean its bucky soo

“Is this thing on?!”

Steve struggled to adjust the camera angle on his laptop. 2 Days ago Bucky came out of cryo, fully cured. They had talked on the phone yesterday but this was the first time Steve had seen him in almost a year.

“I can see you!” Bucky cried from the other side of the computer. He looks tired Steve thought, but then again, so did he. Bucky put on a devilish grin,

“How’s it goin’ Stevie?”

Steve smiled as big as he possibly could, “Sooo much better now.” He let out a corresponding sigh of relief. “Where are you?”

Bucky shifted on the ground and tried to face the camera over his shoulder, this failed. Bucky grunted and tried to maneuver himself when a voice called out from the background,

“Sergeant Barnes! I knowwww I promised not to interrupt but plEAse let me help you.”

Shuri couldn’t stand it when her technology wasn’t being used properly. It’s as if she could sense a technologically inept person from miles away.

“Hi Shuri!” Steve waved. Shuri waved back, and mumbled something about needing to ‘seriously update Bucky’s knowledge’. It only took about 5 seconds for Shuri to explain how to flip the camera, and then she was on her way.

“Ok so this is where I am.” Bucky then dramatically flipped the camera to show his surroundings. Bucky was sitting on the grass next to a massive shimmering lake. The sun shone down on Wakanda and sparkled on the lake’s waves. A light breeze floated around the scene, bending slightly the tall grasses to reveal children playing in the water. Bucky returned the camera’s angle to his face again. Steve let a wave of relief wash over him when he saw Bucky’s smile, he looked so happy, I mean, how could he not? After 72 years he was no longer under Hydra’s control.

“How does it feel?” Steve ventured, not wanting to push too far.

Bucky considered his choice of words,

“Like i’m finally free.”

Steve’s soft smile illuminated the screen,

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

~

“Oh my god.”

Steve gasped and covered his mouth, “Is that a goat?”

Bucky lifted the tiny animal up so Steve could have a better view.

“Yup! She was born yesterday and look how tinyyy!”

It was true, the goat was very small and very adorable.

“It’s adorable Buck.” Steve grinned, placing his phone on the counter so he could eat breakfast. A blatant ‘ugh’ of disgust sounded behind Steve,

“Aw hEll naw” Sam whined, “I have to listen to you two fucklessly banter all day everyday, you motherfuckers AINT talkin about no goat in a cutesy way. Nuh uh.”

Bucky was on the ground laughing and Steve just looked scared. Once Bucky had recovered himself he decided to humor Sam a little more.

“I can’t stop thinking about you Stevie.”

Steve stopped chewing his cereal and stared at Bucky.

“I think about the way you’re hands touch my skin, the way you look when I wake up next to you. The way you’re ass looks in that tactical suit.”

Steve was now as red as a tomato, red hot embarrassment flooded through his veins, why was he doing this in front of Sam? What the hell. Ooooh. It dawned on him, and he was going to play along. Sam stood in the kitchen shocked.

“And I keep thinking about the way your eyes pierce through mine, the way your lips fit into mine.” Steve’s were, of course, less dirty but he was trying. Sam wanted to die.

“All right all right, i’ll leave.” Sam hurried away form the pair as they laughed.

Steve looked at Bucky through the small screen. Skyping everyday had been fantastic, but Steve wanted more, he wanted to see Bucky in person.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

~

“What do you mean you don’t like the beard?!”

Steve laughed as he brushed his hand over his chin, and looked quizzically at Bucky through the laptop screen.

“I think that statement is pretty self-explanatory!” Bucky laughed in turn with Steve, “It’s not you! You look like a totally different person!”

“I told you!” Natasha yelled from the room opposite Steve’s, earning an exasperated eye roll.

Steve sighed, “Well it’s good for being incognito.”

“Umm” Bucky laughed, “No it’s not.”

Steve looked confused.

“You are six feet tall, gorgeous, bright blue eyes, a walking god of muscles, everyone knows who you are.”

Steve looked defeated.

“Jerk.”

“Punk.”

~

“PICK UP THE PHONE!” Steve yelled, “UGH!”

Bucky wasn’t answering, as now Steve was getting anxious. He paced back and forth in the living room, going over every possible scenario in his head. After 364 days of Skyping, how could Bucky miss the 365th. One whole year, god damn it. This was not like Bucky, something was wrong.

He tried another 10 times, still nothing.

Fuck.

He sat down on the couch, stressfully running his fingers through his hair. Trying desperately to calm himself down.

The knock at the door made him jump up, startling him out of his thoughts. Damn it Sam! Stop locking yourself out!

Steve stomped over to the door, angrily unlocking it and yanking it open.

Holy shit.

“Miss me?”

Steve stared in disbelief.

There was Bucky,

in Steve’s hallway.

There was nothing in between them this time, no screen, no bars, no Hydra, no distance.

He was here, really here.

Steve grabbed Bucky’s shirt and dragged him inside, slamming the door as he pressed Bucky up against it. He put his hands on Bucky’s face, making sure he was real before closing the distance and pressing his lips against Bucky’s. In between kisses Bucky managed to mumble,

“It’s about damn time.”

“Yeah, it is about damn time.”

Fin

Let me know if what you thinkkkk! and if i should keep writing stuff like this lol

[onlyfurry]

What is this what is that bread dough with tomatoe soup???? What’s the tip stuff. ? I’m donmt knowwww I don’t KNOWSW

Chica the Chicken 🐤🍕

(For Anxiety Anon)

[iishmael]

@khwabonkeparindey I knowwww 😂🙈 but in wonderful Germany shops are closed on Sundays (most annoying thing EVER)... but I think I'll just throw some tomatoes into a bowl of rice today 😬😋

[janiedean]

I LOVE Arthur he's amazing. The Halloween episode IS HILARIOUS. I really like him and Ginny's dynamic but I loved the episode where he and the other choir lady go hunt for deer and then he and Cash get lost and then Arthur ends up in a pool full of tomato juice. also the priest is my second favourite character.

I KNOWWWW I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH OKAY??? ONE MAN ONE MOOD I STAN UNTIL THE END OF MY DAYS ;; the halloween ep STRAIGHT UP MURDERED ME FLGJKLSDJKLJKLG also YES OMG the priest straight up kills me, ‘being gay makes high school hard’ sdklgjdlkjlksdljksgldjksg everyone in that show is just... so delightful ;_; and tbh it’s fun and I need it rn lmao the deer episode was also quality >__>