#I JUST WATCHED THIS VIDEO FOR 3 MINUTES IM
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Car!!!! Bff I need your fave buck thoughts im sad and need my favourite buy to cheer me up. Especially knowing im his favourite too
hope you feel better, my love!! here’s some buck thoughts i’ve been thinking about lately<3
i already posted about this a little, but imagine buck with a gf who hates everyone but him. he’d be so !!! about being the only one that gets to see that sweet side of you, and he’d be so blushy and giggly if you go 🤨😒 to someone in public just to turn around and immediately be like 🥺<3333 to him.
baking cookies with buck in the middle of the night because you had a bad day🥺🥺🥺 like when you get home he drops everything and sets up a bath for you or something so you can relax while he cooks dinner. then you curl up on the couch and watch your favourite movies, and then when it’s late, you’re like “i really want cookies right now ://” so he brings you to the kitchen and lets you sit on the counter while he bakes you cookies (and lets you lick the spoon, obviously). (i’m also definitely gonna write a little fic about this, it’s on the list)
he’d be sooo whipped in a relationship. he’s highkey so happy being surrounded by girly things you move into his apartment. like the flowers on the kitchen table?? they smell good, and they’re pretty<333 the skin/hair products in his bathroom and scattered around? they make him smell good and make his skin smooth<33 if anyone tries to make fun of him for it, he’s like guys stop :((( i just love my gf, okay?
lastly, a little nsfw thought because🦋🦋
dear god that man would be so obsessed with getting sent pics during the day. like maybe he had to go to work early, so when you wake up and he’s already gone, you send him a pic of you in bed, tits on display, and he’s like 😵💫😵💫😵💫
or maybe you go shopping and get some new clothes/lingerie, and you decide to send him a little sneak peak; ass in frame and the fabric looking so pretty against your skin!!! he fucking melts. OR some days when you’re feeling a little more adventurous, you’re sending him a video of you touching yourself, and not a minute after he reads it, he sends you a photo of his cock, rock hard and leaking in his hand in the bathroom stall at work!!!😩😩
#sigh i need him so bad#911 abc#evan buckley#evan buckley headcanon#evan buckley x plus size!reader#evan buckley x plus size reader#evan buckley x reader#asks#💌🫶🏻
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printer zam.... would you ever consider uploading lore streams into clipped down vids for a second channel.....
fuuuuuuuck I should just continue the 2nd channel abyss stuff with just clips of the super important stuff with zero cuts unless it’s for a big jump 😭😭
#hello it is me princezam#I really wish I kept at this#I’m really bad at consistency but like fuckkkkk I want my streamed lore to exist in more then just streams so bad#if only I uploaded…#but like that’s not enough cuz a video could never tell the full full story that streams can#Posting just straight 30-40 minute clips of lore streams would be awesome tho and I lowkey might try to continue that sometime in the futur#too many side quests rn bruh im stuck in an airport and like nearly the second I get home I gotta play MONEY SMP 😭😭😭#But back to the main point for this specific person this lowkey existed for like 3 videos#I stopped immediately tho since I hated watching us recruit jumper it hurt how stupid we were
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chrome was like "aw.... ublock origin doesnt work anymore.... aint that so sad..."
im stubborn but i saw the utterly unusable vanilla internet for all of 1 minute before i moved all my bookmarks to firefox and resumed there. go fuck yourself ♥
#jennilargh#im so fucking mad theyre really going down this road haha i am not looking forward to learning new things suddenly#like i noticed i cant chromecast for obvious reasons and to get that working seems to be a whole process i dont understand yet#but liike haha im not gonna watch 2 ads every 3 minutes on youtube hahahahahahaha no <3#love my content creators but youtube is just gonna have to deal bc the way their ads run now is COMPLETELY over the line#my mind cannot be changed. 2 ads every 3 minutes on a 40 min long video on top of sponsored segments..#loud ass ads interrupting calming sleepytime videos... cant watch passively bc you have to be READY to hit the skip buttons..#dont even get me started if u just want to have a video on in the background while you are not physically able to hit skip#lord help you if you get an ad thats several minutes long and your hands are covered in dough or something#or even if youre just enjoying a more information-heavy video and an ad interrupts mid sentence and youre like “wait im lost now”#thats not even touching the malicious ads from every other website on this hell of an internet#we live in the stupid timeline
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'lazy' study activities
Yes, this is an extension of the big monster 'study plan' post I am working on. The big study plan post will link more tools and articles to use, this is more like a short suggestion of study activities you could try.
(Scroll to the bottom to see the SUMMARY)
If you already watch cdramas, continue to do so. Download Google Translate app on your phone (and Pleco, and any other translation app you like). Watch cdramas that have hard chinese subtitles on the videos - many youtube cdramas already are like this (you see chinese hanzi subs on the videos). Keep watching with english subtitles on too. Every 3-5 minutes, look up a word or phrase you're curious about. Google Translate allows you to type in words or phrases with pinyin, so if you see 小心 or 你放心 or 他死了 in the cdrama, you can type what you hear 'xiaoxin' or 'nifangxin' or 'tasile' to get the translation. If you don't hear the pronunciation clearly, or don't know pinyin letters-pronunciation well, then you can also do writing input and write in the hanzi you see on the hard chinese subtitles. I'm left handed and didn't know the stroke order as a beginner, my handwriting is usually incomprehensible to writing recognition software, and google translate still usually figured out which hanzi I was writing. So yeah, just watch what you'd normally watch and look up a word/phrase every 3-5 minutes as curious. This activity will ADD up. In a few months you might know a lot of words. If you are a beginner, maybe start with this activity and just keep doing it for a while. Eventually you'll start to pick up dozens of words, maybe even a few hundred. You'll probably eventually get curious about what grammar you're looking at, how to parse the sentences, how to remember hanzi better, and you can use that curiosity as motivation to push you to do some of the more 'intensive' study activities like learning about hanzi and grammar.
Not the laziest activity, because it does require reading an education material: but all you have to do is read it. You don't need to memorize, or study intensely, just read leisurely through it once. Read this dong-chinese pinyin guide, when you have decided you're a bit annoyed you can't figure out the pinyin to type the words you're trying to look up in cdramas. Or read it when you're eager to try typing with a chinese phone keyboard so you can type in hanzi instead of using writing-input, since typing the correct hanzi will make looking up new words easier. (To type hanzi you just type the pinyin, then pick from the hanzi suggested). Reading through this will take as little as 15 minutes, to as long as several days if you're just reading 1 section of it a day in 3-5 minutes. If you enjoy re-reading and reviewing, you might spend a few hours total on this pinyin guide. But if you're lazy? Just read through once, and know you can always come reference it again later if you're confused and want to clarify something. If you plan to learn zhuyin, you can check out the zhuyin guide at the top-right tab of the linked page.
Also not the laziest activity on here, as it will require reading educational material for 20 minutes to 2 hours depending on your reading speed and if you split it into different days and if you personally enjoy reviewing or not. Again, just read through these once when you have a few free minutes to spare. If you're a beginner, you'll appreciate the basic information about hanzi and how they work.
Part 1: Chinese characters in a nutshell
Part 2: Basic characters and character components
Part 3: Compound characters
Part 4: Learning and remembering compound characters
Part 5: Making sense of Chinese words
Part 6: Learning and remembering compound words
If you are a beginner and don't know much about tones, you may also want to spend 20 minutes to 2 hours on some days/weeks you have free on these informational things on tones:
Four Tones Explanation (great explanation video)
Tone Combination Practice (with some useful notes in it)
When Do Chinese Tones Change (good explanation, helpful 3rd tone explanation)
Accent Lab Mandarin Tone Pairs (I recommend this tool for listening practice, and later in your study to check on increasing your listening skills)
And finally, 2 textbook explanations of tones that I've found useful here and here.
Learning new words: if you find the pace of learning slow from just shows, are getting eager to learn more words FASTER so you can understand more? There's a few options.
There's SRS apps like Anki (or Pleco app's flashcard area), and if you enjoy flashcards or can focus on flashcards better than me, then if you do SRS apps 15-30 minutes a day the studying WILL add up. I cannot focus on such apps though, and once my focus burns out it takes me 1 hour to study 5 words... when for most people, they take 5 minutes to study 20 words or more in these apps.
If you're like me and can't focus long term on doing something like flashcards. Option 1: you can still use an SRS app like anki. Just cram 'new words/sentences' ONLY for a few days or weeks (so when you can get through as many words as other people you try to get through as many words as you can in 30 minutes to 2 hours), and when you start to feel the focus fade then switch to only review cards (and only New review cards until you've reviewed everything once). Quit reviewing when the focus is totally gone. You may finish reviewing everything, or you may not. Doesn't really matter. The initial 'new words/sentence' cards were to get an initial exposure of this means X, just like watching shows gives you that initial exposure the first time you look up an unknown word. You will 'review' these words more by seeing them in cdramas and other things, especially when you're still a beginner who needs to learn a few thousand common words. Option 2: same activity, but use a word list (or word list with sentence examples) online or printed on paper. Read through the list once over a matter of days until focus fades, then try to read through the list a second time (review) until focus is lost.
Option 3: Audio flashcards my beloved. If you REALLY do not want to look at flashcards for 15-30 minutes a day, or like me you REALLY can't focus at all on flashcards sometimes (because if 5 minutes take an hour to study like for me it's not very time effective ToT), audio lessons and audio flashcards will be your friend as a beginner. If efficiency is not your highest priority, I suggest you go to the Hoopla or Libby library apps, and looking up 'chinese lessons' or 'learn chinese' and try out some of the audiobooks and audio courses. Also go on Spotify and look up 'learn chinese' and try out some of the podcasts (I used to listen to Coffee Break Chinese), look up lessons on youtube (and things like "chinese sentences english translation"). ANY lesson that speaks chinese sentences, then speaks the english translation? Perfect, you can use it. Anything that tells you the chinese, then the english translation, is making sure you understand the chinese being used enough to start learning it. If you want to be particularly efficient with your time, you'll want to prioritize listening to audio that has MANY new chinese words per lesson. I listened to the chinese spoonfed anki audio files, chinese/english sentence audio, with new words or grammar in every sentence, but also a lot of words re-used in new sentences so i'd get some 'review' of words I'd heard before even if I only listened to new audio files until I finished. Those audio files have ~7000 sentences and probably a bit less words but still thousands. Immersive Languages (library audio lessons you can use) and Chinesepod101 would probably also have fairly information dense lessons.
Why are audio lessons and audio flashcards lazy? Well, particularly when it's just english/chinese sentence audio, you can listen to it while doing your regular daily schedule. Fit 30 minutes or even hours of listening a day, into when you're driving, commuting, walking, cleaning, cooking, grinding in video games, exercising, doing busy work you can listen to something in the background during. I tested this by doing it myself, and even if you are not paying full attention and just in-out of listening in the background, you will learn new words. So listening in the background while you play video games you would anyway? Easier, versus trying to focus on flashcards (very hard for me lol)? As far as 'intentional study' of educational materials, listening to audio lessons and audio flashcards is the easiest to do while continuing your regular daily schedule (aka not needing to carve out extra study time). The main drawback is it is very listening focused, so if you aren't working on reading skills with cdrama subtitles, graded readers, or webnovels eventually, then your reading skills will fall behind.
As an extension to the 'listening is easy to add to a daily schedule' idea: if you are an upper beginner, you can listen to learner podcasts entirely in chinese or graded reader audiobooks. If you're an intermediate learner, you can listen to audiobooks of webnovels you've read, or listen to audio dramas of stuff you've read subtitles for before, or if it's comprehensible enough for you then just listen to new audiobooks and audio dramas. You can listen to cdramas you've watched before playing in the background, or condensed audio (audio of shows with the silence cut out). Not only that, but when it comes to stuff like this, where you know SOME words but not all words? Or where you can read the words, but can't understand them when listening? Re-listen to the audio a LOT. I'm talking 10-20 times, or at least 5 times. Play chapter 1 of an audiobook on loop in the background while you clean your room, or while you level grind in a video game, or while you mull through doing a spreadsheet or lifting boxes at work (if you can work fine while listening to audio), or while you commute. You will, genuinely, notice your comprehension improving the more you re-listen even if you only paid half attention and didn't follow the plot the first few times. It is one of the easiest study activities to do, once you're at the point you can listen to audio materials. Just keep re-listening until you're bored and want to pick another, or until you feel you've understood as much as you can in that audio file (although I bet you if you've listened 5 times and think 'that's all I'll understand,' if you let yourself listen 10 times you'll be surprised how much MORE you end up understanding by then).
If you're getting ansty (as a beginner) about not understanding the grammar of the sentences you see in cdrama. Use that as motivation to spend 5 minutes to 30 minutes a day (or if you enjoy reading just read for 4 hours one day and be done) to read through some chinese grammar guides. You can either look up "basic chinese grammar" and read a few articles, or find a chinese grammar guide and just work your way through reading it. I personally suggest that, if you're bored by it or unable to focus: either JUST read the grammar point TITLES and then read more into the topics you've been seeing in cdramas that you want to learn more about. Or you just read HSK 1-4 grammar points, since they're the basics. Or you skip to the 'grammar point example' and read the examples to get a visual of what's going on. Or only look up specific grammar points as you watch cdramas, if something seems confusing.
I personally felt... it was easier in the long run, for me, to just read a whole grammar guide as a beginner. Did I understand everything? NOPE. I didn't understand like 2/3 at all. But skimming through an entire grammar guide made me aware of all the ways to expect past tense: 去 过 过了 了 以前 etc, ways to expect the future and ability and desire 会 要, how to ask yes/no questions 吗 and suggestions 吧, 有 没有 i have/dont have and how have can be used to express past tense things, 不 don't/not, how 的 地 can make descriptive phrases (地 is like english -ly) (and how in chinese a sentence clause-的 usually goes in FRONT instead of in the middle like in english), how 得 is both 'must' and also has several grammatical functions to look out for (that I didn't get used to until I read a lot to be honest), and 着 has grammatical uses too (the first of which was it seemed similar to the english verb ending -ing to me). These were basic things, and a lot of their more particular aspects went over my head.
But knowing roughly how to pick out 'that's a verb' and 'that's probably a descriptive' and 'that's a clause' and 'that's negative' and 'that's past tense' or 'that's present or future tense' helped me start guessing the overall main idea of sentences and paragraphs WAY sooner than it otherwise would have took me. If I'd only looked up 1 grammar point occassionally... it could've taken years to recognize these basics. Instead it took a month of reading a grammar guide, then several months of seeing that grammar in cdramas and webnovels just to fully recognize what I saw. I did still look up a particular grammar point when confused, but usually I already was vaguely familiar with the grammar point to look it up (like seeing 把 in the sentence and knowing THAT is what i should look up because it's confusing me). So yeah: feel free to do it the way you prefer, as we all will have different preferences and things that work better for us. But for me, it was worth just reading 4 hours of a grammar guide in 15ish minute chunks over the course of a month.
Unfortunately the grammar guide summary i read (chinese-grammar.org) no longer exists. So I will link some options I've found, but if you find more concise and simpler grammar guides please share them! Introduction to Basic Chinese Grammar. AllSetLearning Chinese Grammar Wiki (way too long to read easily in my opinion but I used this to look up specific grammar points later in learning a Lot), Basic Patterns of Chinese Grammar: A Student's Guide to Correct Structures and Common Errors (this one is a print book but the only modern book I bought for grammar), and Wikipedia's Chinese Grammar Page (which is the grammar guide I'm currently reading through to consider as a resource - i think as far as summarized it may be one of the shorter options).
Whenever you feel ready to learn hanzi? Honestly the sky is the limit on options. If you like SRS apps like anki, Skritter is an app I've seen recommended for hanzi, I used some "chinese hanzi with mnemonics" anki decks (while I could focus lol). I personally found the easiest way for me to start was to just read through this book (which is for free as an ebook in many libraries/library apps, and can be found in free download book sites):Learning Chinese Characters: (HSK Levels 1-3) A Revolutionary New Way to Learn the 800 Most Basic Chinese Characters; Includes All Characters for the AP & HSK 1-3 Exams. I liked this book because it made up a story to help me remember meaning, pronunciation, and tone. Along with providing example words. It's only 800 hanzi, and all I did to study it was read a few pages every couple days until I finished it - it took me around 3 months to finish the book. I didn't review (though you can re-read and review if you enjoy that).
But the mnemonics really helped form that 'initial recognition' memory and so when I started reading graded readers (once I'd studied 300 hanzi in the book), the graded readers helped 'review' those new hanzi and I learned them fast. For the 1000 hanzi I learned on my own after this book, I utilized the mnemonic story strategy that this book taught, and it was fairly doable to just keep picking up hanzi by looking them up when reading, coming up with a mnemonic story in my head, then moving on. As I kept seeing hanzi again, I'd eventually remember them. (And they say it takes 12-20 times of seeing a word to remember it, so at worst that's how much I was looking up new words... sometimes only 1-2 times though).
I would suggest that if you don't use SRS apps like anki or Skritter for hanzi, use some tool with mnemonics like a hanzi book with mnemonic stories (like the one I linked or a few others that exist). And when you look up new words in cdramas, and later graded readers and webnovels, please listen to the word's pronunciation a few times. So you're getting a bit of initial recognition of the hanzi's components/visual AND the word's pronunciation. If it takes 20 times or less to learn new words, then you'll want to get that much reading AND listening exposure.
When you have some basic grammar knowledge (or if you're really tolerant of ambiguity), keep watching cdramas as you have been. But try to pause the show every 3-5 minutes and read a chinese subtitle sentence. You can use the english subtitles to try and parse the chinese word meanings, or look up keywords using your translation app, whatever you want. Since a LOT of cdramas have chinese subs, and you watch with english subs, you can utilize these dual subtitles to start practicing reading skills and practicing guessing new words from context (in this case the context is the scene, the chinese words you already know, and the english translation). Later in your studies, when you stop using english subtitles sometimes, this will have been good practice of getting used to trying to read chinese. This pausing every 3-5 minutes to try and understand a chinese sentence should not take much time, maybe adding 5-10 minutes of watch time to a cdrama episode (depending on how long you pause). So it should be fairly easy to work into your schedule.
So yeah. The big summary of all this is:
If you want to make progress at a pace most people are going to find not too slow, I suggest 1-2 hours on average of doing stuff with chinese a day. (Or more hours a day on average if you want to get through the beginner phase faster). It'll take thousands of hours to learn chinese. Your pace will be extremely slow if you do less than 1 hour with chinese a day on average.
If you already watch cdramas, then keep doing that and just start looking up words (and eventually trying to figure out some sentences) once every 3-5 minutes as curious.
Spend 5 minutes a day reading articles on chinese writing system, and pinyin, and basic grammar, for a few months. You don't need to memorize or review, just get a basic initial exposure.
Approach other educational materials that way: if and when you start more 'intensively' studying, you can just get an initial exposure to the ideas (like a hanzi book, a grammar guide, reading word or sentence lists if you like to do that). You don't need to memorize or review, you don't need to understand everything. Just get an initial impression. (If you enjoy memorizing or studying though, go wild lol)
Audio lessons and audio flashcard study materials will require no time to fit into your schedule, you can do those while you do daily activities that you can listen to audio while doing. As an intermediate learner, these can also be used the way extensive reading is used - to pick up more vocabulary, improve grammar understanding, improve comprehension speed.
New words take (lets rough estimate) 20 times of seeing to remember. So you'll be looking up new words up to that many times when watching cdramas, or later when reading, and that's okay. It'll take a while to fully solidify this new information and you can just keep watching cdramas and doing things in chinese, and the information will eventually be learned. Especially as a beginner: you'll run into the few thousand most common words CONSTANTLY, you will eventually learn them as you keep looking words up and doing stuff in chinese. You do not need to do any special scheduled review (like SRS anki cards, skritter, pleco flashcards) unless you personally enjoy doing it, or want to speed up your progress and are okay with carving 15-30 minutes of time specifically for doing that.
The process of transitioning to graded readers, cdramas with no english subs, and webnovels is it's own beast - which I can cover if you want (and will in the bigger post's step 3). But the short of it is: if you keep doing activities until you've learned around 1000 words, you should be able to start reading easy graded readers and gradually increasing their unique word count until you're reading graded readers with 1000+ unique words. (And you can start graded readers knowing only 200 words if you want! Mandarin Companion has books for beginners if like me you'd like to practice reading ASAP). At that point, you should be able to transition to easy webnovels (using Pleco Reader/Clipobard Reader, Mandarinspot.com annotation, Readibu app, or highlighting and right clicking and using google translate in a webpage) and to watching cdramas you've seen before or with simple plots in chinese only. How many words you look up, or if you look up zero, is all fine: as long as you grasp the main idea of the plot. If you look words up, and can grasp at least the main idea? Then you can watch/read as long as you look words up (and you'll learn the other detail words from context) If you can grasp the main idea without looking any words up? Then you can watch/read without looking words up (and learn new words from context). The first few months (or even year) of transitioning to webnovels and cdramas with no english subs will feel hard, even if you know all/most of the words. It's just part of adjusting to actually comprehending all the things you've studied. I suggest following Heavenly Path's Reading Guide as soon as you're ready to start trying to read - first graded reading material, then webnovels once you've learned around 1000 words.
#rant#study plan#chinese study plan#study activities#langblr#studyblr#firstly please just SKIP to the Summary at the bottom first#you know i ramble ToT#second - these activities can be applied to any language you're studying#my study plan at the moment is super similar for japanese#i listen to japanese audio flashcards while i work or drive. and then look up a word im curious about here and there while watching jdramas#or while playing japanese video games like Yakuza. that's all i really do for study of japanese rn.#sometimes i pause yakuza (or think really fast lol) and try to work out#a sentence or phrase meaning based on the japanese i know and english subtitles#but it still adds up! my little time tracker says ive been spending like 1.5 hours on japanese a day#my chinese study plan rn if youre curious: listen to audiobook or audio drama for 1-3 hours. and read for 15 minutes if i feel like it#thats it. ALL audio study is done when im working (and it plays in background) or walking or driving
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Me sitting here with 50000 things to work on right now: I will not open the video I will not open the video I will not open the video I will not open the video I will
Also me:
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens fanvid#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#crowley#this is 100% about the video ive been editing#i have so much shit i have to work on#that video being one of the things#but im not allowed to open it because im so obsessed with it#I'll just sit there and watch it on repeat for the next 3 hours#and its not even a minute long#help#i have brought this upon myself#the brain rot is so so real
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to the people who make “””tutorials””” but then leave out huge chunks of info bc they assume the reader knows it i hope you get your ass beat
#it is one thing if someone is making a blender tutorial which requires u to have a basic understanding of the program i get that#but omg i was watching someone on youtube build a house in ts4 AND SHE JUST COMPLETELY SKIPPED THE ROOFING PROCESS#and in the comments she was like oh well i just thought everyone knew how to roof thats why i skipped!#LIKE GIRL WHY WOULD I CLICK ON YOUR TUTORIAL IF I KNEW HOW TO DO THE THING YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE TEACHING ME OMGGGGG#and then she uploaded a separate video just for the roof of this sim build and it was like a whole 3 min video WHY DIDNT YOU JUST INCLUDE IT#IN THE ORIGINAL VIDEO OMG!!!!!!!!!!! like thats 3 whole minutes of info!!!!!!!!!!!!#please if youre gonna explain stuff to me i need it to be as slow and thorough of an explanation as possible. describe it to me like im 5
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Agony for forever
#pictured: me in the level exit at 1 minute and some milliseconds (im trying to do the 60 second challenge)#originally i was hitting the wall with the cannon (breaking the breaker) n then landing next to one to shoot beofre jumping up to the high#was in the locked door by about 15 seconds. desperately ran through everything. reached the filth spawn at abt 35 secs.#climed the wall to reach breaker#dashing to the next. n then slamming and desperately trying to shoot the one at the gate#consistently about 3-5 seconds too late#weapon roster: railcannon. cannon. nailgun#for THIS round#i watched some more videos of ppl doing the challenge n speedruns#(2 videos)#hit the wall with a charged shotgun instead. everything else abt the route the same#weapon roster: railcannon. cannon. pump charge shotgun#i think if i keep going this way ill get to it!#and hehe the only scaey quick maneuvers i have to do is the shotgun blast which istn actually a scary maneuver i do that just fine#easily peasily
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My number one loser behaviour is hate-watching this one fuckass sims youtuber until I get so angry that I have to turn it off before the adrenaline makes me pull an all-nighter
#i feel like i shouldnt say who it is but if you have a sims youtuber nemesis PLS tell me who#bc if we have the same one we have to kiss with tounge <3#i realise this is rich coming from ME but the reason i hate her is that shes just so disturbingly negative all the time#ALL. THE. TIME.#when you start noticing it youll drive yourself crazy watching her videos#bc i swear every other minute there will be something she complains about#if i took a shot every time she complained in a video id be passed out by the 5 minute mark#there is an easy solution to this you say- stop watching her#and yes. i do avoid watching for the most part but shes like the most popular sims ytber and her videos get recommended#plus i guess i like the hate watching in small doses#plus some days when im in a good mood i can ignore it#plus she actually makes decent videos despite her personality (shes legit a good person too she just annoys me on a spiritual level)#i need someone who is a sims loser like me to bitch with in the most useless hater way possible !!!#ALSO i realise the irony of me complaining abt her complaining !! i get it. the whole thing is dumb ! and yet here i am... still pissed off#me abt x > let me say im the biggest hater. i hate the way that you walk the way that you talk the way that you dress.. etc ect.#actually why am i trying to explain myself in these tags 💀 who caresssss its the sims omg#but yeah i hate her fr i think#on my hitlist. its on sight
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like it’s VERY very important to not text and drive. and i understand how dangerous it is to do that and to be distracted at all in any way for any amount of time on the road. i know it’s important to learn about these stories and bear witness to them. but i just think. like idk. watching multiple of them every day for 10 days (with a two day break halfway through for the weekend) is realy… like idk. i think after seeing a couple you can get the point. i don’t want to sound dismissive or lackadaisacal and im scared im sounding like that but i just am so freaked out by all of this and witb every new horror they’re showing us it’s scaring me worse.
#purrs#delete later#car accidents tw#death tw#child death tw#ask to tag#drivers ed tag#like this sucks so bad. we go from watching a video about how to drive in the city… to a 10 minute vid of a man talking abt how he hit and#killed 3 kids and it shows a PICTURE OF THE SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT WITH BLOOD AND EVERYTHING… and then after the video we immediately start#talking about like. fucking street cleaners and how you have to watch out for them. HOW is the video about the kids being hit and killed#part of the flow of the learning. what purpose does it serve. and it’s like these are REAL PEOPLE who died. real kids who existed. and it#just feels kind of fucked up. maybe it’s more fucked up thst im not following the flow and accepting the weight of it but it’s hard to when#im scared as fuck and just want to not be shown gore videos anymore. and then once we pick up the content again like abt street cleaners and#shit i can’t focus on any content bc i have to wind down from seeing the dead bodies and hearing the letter the parents wrote. like how is t#this helping. maybe it’s landing / more necessary for the 16 year olds but im 24. i am a whole adult. i do not take being alive for granted#i am terrified of death and dying and painfully aware of how fragile human beings are and how easy it is to be in danger. this is not#helping me or sending me a message it’s just making me so scared and terrified to even leave the house and unable to stop thinking about#death or injury lol!!! and i can’t tell them to stop and i can’t quit bc i need my fucking license so i have to just put my head down and#do this but it sucks indescribably. and we also saw one of those trick videos again too that makes you feel stupid bc it tells you to count#the number of lkke. things you see and it turns out i missed a few AND they were like did you notice what was going on in the background snd#i didn’t bc i was too busy counting the fucking things they told us to. i want to SCREAM. this makes me feel so stupid and helpless lolllll#<- as i was typing that we were learning about the chance of survival if you are hit by a car at different speeds! bc that’s relevant 😍😍😍😍😍😍#anyways. my therapist was telling me stuff abt how i need to remember this isn’t targeted for me and i need to regulate my nervous system an#and how to calm down when it triggers me but i forgot everything she said literally 5 hours ago and now im here freaking the fuck out so. 🥰
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#I'm tired as hell of being sick#the magnitude of the boredom that comes with being sick with a chronic illness is crazy#i have between 0.5-6 hours out of bed per day. usually around 3 or 4. i spend almost that whole time cooking and shopping and cleaning#and taking care of what needs to be done before time is up and i need to lay down again#when I'm in bed i don't have the energy for anything except watching easy to digest shows or youtube videos or scrolling on tumblr#maybe some writing or drawing if the brain fog isn't too bad#my life is just a haze of one million meds and supplements and doctors visit after doctors visit#and smoking weed so I'm not debilitated by nausea 24/7 and sleeping. so much sleeping. I'm so bored. I'm so desperately bored.#i miss having a shitty retail job and going out with my friends after work and going to events#and being able to go anywhere more than 20 minutes from my apartment#:( :( :(#im just so bored and tired on such a deep and painful level and i want to be well enough to feel like a real person again
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this fuck around approach to school has quencies i fear
#3 lab reports this week + a paper + whatever math prof assigns us last minute :/#by this week i mean in 3 days and its worth noting these were all assigned last week i just was sooo sleepy and im STILL sleepy#this is PREPOSTEROUS#until now it was literally just ‘watch this video + fill in worksheet’ for all the classes and they all do this at once😭😭😭
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finally having time to myself since 3pm yesterday (it’s 11pm rn) and i want to stay up and relax and watch stuff so i can have a nice time by myself before having to work tomorrow but i am EXHAUSTED and also want to sleep so bad😭😭😭
#i worked yesterday 8-2 and then was with friends and slept at their house and i got maybe ???? 3 hours of sleep lastnight bc of that and#THEN i had to work 8-2 AGAIN today and i got home and got picked back up by the same friends to do something and now i’m finally home and#stuff but i just don’t know what my best option is (i know i should sleep actually and get as much sleep as possible but shhhh)#i guess. i will sleep tho actually bc i can’t even concentrate on the video i was trying to watch. 20 minutes in and i have NO idea what#is happening so yeah i’ll take that as a cue to sleep#thanks for helping me decide what to do guys’#!* not ‘#ugh i don’t wanna work tomorrow i have an 8 hour shift and i don’t wanna do it 😭😭😭#saturdays are the worst bc i have to be alone all day and it drives me insane when i get a million customers that are regulars who know only#one person works at a time on saturdays like use common sense and also get fucked for being annoying i hate you all!!!!!! GRRRRR BITE BITE#ok no fr i’m going to sleeep now ok#OH WAIT ONE TINY THING I WAS DOING A TRIVIA GAME EITH MY FRIENDS TONIGHT AND THERE WAS A D&D QUESTION THAT I GOT FULLY CORRECT BC IVE BEEN#WATCHING LEGENDS OF AVANTRIS!!!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT IT LOL MY FRIENDS ALL DIDNT KNOW AND I WAS LIKE >:)))) BACK AWAY
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I think binge rewatching all of the original 6 dhmis videos in one sitting might’ve been a Bad Idea idk
#I mena considering me Now im fine. i was def scarred by it when they first came out (still watched cause everyone ELSE was so-)#but idk I have a headache. then again it feels like those are pretty easy for me to get lol#could also just be. staring at a screen. real closely. for hours#and then there’s the flashing in those videos especially the computer one. that could’ve done something too#tried not to look directly when that happened tho#anyways. started the Show Series. only 3 minutes in lmao#really wish I had subtitles but. I get. the general gist of things#and that’s the tea
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Youtube *needs* to let you block youtube channels from ever showing up again.
#just watched a review video and they fucking ended it with “and im not going to tell you how it ends :3”#hey man. hey man fuck you actually.#like “ooh you should experience it for yourself!!”#you just spent the last 40 minutes talking about how dogshit you found this game. and how you didnt have a single ounce of fun.#why the fuck would i want to play the game???
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can't wait to tell the homies what I manifest from the void fr fr
WE ARE ALWAYS IN THE VOID STATE
post inspired by @soquimic
Hello guys and welcome to another void state post! Did you know that we are always in the void, we are just now aware of it? Yes that’s right, and you can be aware of it every time you sleep!
Remember those times when we would wake up, and not remember what dream we had, and all we think about is a black space? That was the void state, we just weren’t aware! Waking up in the void state is like breathing! It’s simple and easy.
So how can you be aware of the void state? Just use awareness affirmations as you fall asleep! Here are some:
“I am aware of the void state”
“I will be aware of the void when I sleep”
“I am always aware whenever I am in the void state”
“I am aware of void”
…Or you could make up your own!
This post is short and sweet because the void state is as simple as this, let me know if you have questions! Goodbye! And happy manifesting!
#last two days ive been affirming that whenever i fall asleep i enter the void#both nights i woke up and realized everything was black and i had no dreams#i was confused asf at first??? cause im like ayo... what was that? and then this MORNING i told my subconscious to give me a sign about#how close i am to the void and then i got on Tumblr to read fanfic... tell me why i saw the word void THREE TIMES (3 is my lucky number) in#TWO different miguel x reader fics...#and then i went on youtube#saw one of my favs has posted a video and i watched it and she is just a reactor type of youtuber but in the first five minutes she says#VOID two fucking times#and then later on in the video she says it AGAIN#THREE DAMN T I M E S#🧍 and now that i see your post... i realize that i need to affirm for awareness fr fr#void state#void#state of void#I am state#god state#I am#law of assumption
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video editing is so fun... (specifically cutting down hours of gameplay into a highlights format)
#lizz.txt#it feels really ironic to post about video editing being fun when that's all i've been doing for the past 3 weeks LOL#but i haven't been able to edit something in highlights format since late november 2023 (which is my favorite type of editing)#technically i could've edited the big run recording from december but i was intimidated by the 12 hr-ish length#but after working on my friend and i's video essay im like 'actually cutting down 12 hr footage is way easier' LMAOO#and since im 99% done with that and i had some time to spare tonight i started to work through some recordings :D#there's two major ones i want to work through... a splatoon 1 revisit with friends + big run#hoping to have those done by the end of february at the latest!! but ideally i'd like to have it done earlier because!!!#i'm interested in recording eggstra work (not that they've announced it) as well as um. reload#i have so much positive regard for the characters in p3 that i'm like 'i don't think i can control the words that come out of my mouth-#when i'm very excited about something' so i'd like to have my playthrough documented somewhere LOL even if i dont post it!!!#sometimes i think about how when i was playing fe3h i got to the sylvain and felix A+ support and HOW I LOST MY MIND ON VC#and IT WAS SO FUNNY bc i spent like 10 minutes watching that support conversation because every line of dialogue made my brain explode#AND SOMEWHERE in the middle of it my mom called me and i was like (hyperventilating) “HI MOM! DID YOU KNOW! I LIKE VIDEO GAMES!”#or something like that. i can't remember i was kind of lightheaded but anyway im kind of sad that there's no physical proof that happened#ANYWAY i fully expect that reload will make me jump and down ontop of a matress in some shape and form like idk i just like kitaro a lot#but also because purse owner games are LONG im like 'jfc that's going to be a lot of GB. i need to edit my current recordings-#so that i have enough space to accomodate for that' FDKLHLFDH. hence... wanting to work on my video projects#BUT I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO DRAW TOO.. oh the woes of being a multicreative. its ok! i like having hobbies to bounce between#they call it persona 3 reload because it reloads my brain ammo and revitalizes my creative efforts (joke)#seriously though i've been itching to doodle more p3 but im like 'what the FUCK are ideas that aren't splatoon' (this is what happens when-#you only play splatoon. your brain gets filled with SQUIDS!!!). anyway. i hope everyone's had a nice january so far!!! :D#i am always in a constant state of excitement and overload and i needed to get this out somewhere!!#BUT ALSO i want people to know that i like video editing. and that i am looking forward to making videos. while also drawing :3#i will post and share the videos i make here. whenever they're done. LOL. sorry not sorry for filling up your screen with tags <3
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