#I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN DOING WELL PLS HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!!!

[jeoseungsaja]

🍸 + "what do you need to move on?" ( for hyuk in arc two 🥺 but i also know that's gonna get realll sad- feel free to skip any if all of them, alex!! and please have a wonderful day too <3 )

@ofgentleresolve ♚ from x.

♔ ———–

    Sitting on the stairs that lead to his shabby office, a bottle of clear liquor is latched to his scarred hand. He usually doesn’t drink like this, prefers to use his sorrows as fuel to catch the justice he so ardently seeks. However, there are days where he finds himself in some kind of profound, oceanic hole without an exit; struggling to climb up and feel the air that his lungs so desperately need. These moments feel like heavy bricks attached to his ankles, dragging him toward deep sea; moments where his memories hurt more than giving him any kind of solace; moments where he knows his friend is a ghost and fervently wishes he wasn’t (but that’s not going to make Patrick rise out of his grave, is it?). 

   A hiccup, he tries to stand up and stumbles a little; long arm managing to get looped around the dilapidated rail. God, he hates this. Hates that the alcohol does nothing to numb the emotions bubbling within him; hates that the bottle is only making him more prone to speak about the things he’s been saving up since forever; hates that he feels helpless --- hates that he misses him so much, the yearning alone could burn an entire hole in his heart; pierce it permanently. 

   Stubborn as a mule, he still fights to walk down the stairs as a question echoes through. Who’s asking this? Who’s saying it? Is it his own head or is it someone who managed to see him in this shameful state? Suki is supposed to be back at his apartment to get some sleep; Jae-Hwan left about three hours ago --- there shouldn’t be anyone else around here but him and his heavy heart; him and this doltish idea of getting drunk. Feet get dragged on the last block of stairs and when he lets go of the rail, he has to lean in and support himself on the dirty windowsill. Fingers dig into the stained wood; a hand leaving the bottle on the window’s stool. 

   What do you need to move on? Can he even do it? Move on from losing someone he knew and loved for years? Move on from the lack of justice his best friend was given? Move on from experiencing misery that seems to portray an immense valley with drained flowers and vicious tentacles that keep extending themselves? Will there be a day where he doesn’t feel like this? Where he doesn’t latch onto a specific file that he’s re-read a thousand times; where he doesn’t stare with ache at the Lily of the Valley sitting near his desk, where he doesn’t graze the tattoo engraved inside his wrist with a close-lipped simper that wishes to break into tears. 

    There he goes again, trembling fingers pulling his sleeve down, if only to see the permanent drawing sitting on his skin --- an ode to him; an important piece he will always carry with him. 

    Until the end, and then a little more.

   “Maybe...a new...a new heart or...a new brain, I--I don’t know.” 

    He has to, one day, right? One day. He knows Patrick wouldn’t like him to sink like this --- he was always his anchor, the one who cheered him on. But it’s just...tough. Even after all these years. Losing him wasn’t easy and so, moving on isn’t easy, either. 

   “Sometimes I’m...waiting to wake up from a long nightmare. Hoping that...it’s just that, all of this. A nightmare. But it’s real, it’s all real---” 

    Even if his head sometimes plays tricks on him, he’s aware of this sour, stinging reality. His jaw clenches; hand brusquely moving to let the bottle drop onto the floor. It shatters into humid pieces, staining the floor. He breathes through his nose; closes his eyes. 

   “The people who did this to him...they need to pay. They need to get what they truly deserve. And I...I won’t rest until that happens. May--maybe then, I’ll be able to move on.” 

   Maybe.    Perhaps.    Who knows.

———– ♔

[doumadono]

emergency request

depression has been kicking my ass lately and making it difficult to exist and function as an adult. i know you did an aizawa req recently, but i would really appreciate daddy!aizawa (or daddy!gojo) x reader where he's taking care of his babygirl who's struggling with self care tasks. if it's okay, pls don't include food/eating.

tysm <3

A/N: I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling with depression lately. It's essential to take care of yourself during challenging times, and I hope these headcanons will bring you a bit of comfort and distraction.

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

AIZAWA

Aizawa, despite his stern and stoic exterior, is incredibly attentive to your needs, especially when you're struggling.

He's a master at reading your body language and picking up on subtle cues that tell him when you're feeling down. Aizawa is typically up late grading papers or patrolling, but when he notices that you're struggling with daily tasks, he makes it a point to be there for you.

He's a man of routine, and he knows that routines can be helpful for managing depression. Aizawa would gently encourage you to establish a daily routine, but he'd never force it. Instead, he'd suggest it as a way to provide structure and stability in your life.

"Babygirl, I know it's tough right now, but let's take care of you, okay? We'll do it together."

He understands that self-care isn't just about physical tasks but also emotional well-being.

When it comes to personal hygiene, Aizawa would be there to help you with things like drawing a warm bath, picking out a soothing bath bomb, and even washing your hair if needed. He'd do it all with the utmost care and gentleness, asking you about your day, and sharing stories from his day as well.

Aizawa takes extra care in washing your hair, massaging your scalp with gentle, circular motions. His touch is both soothing and loving.

"I'm here, babygirl. You don't have to go through this alone," he'd say, his voice low and soothing.

He helps you into comfy pajamas, the ones you love the most, ensuring you're warm and snug.

Aizawa is a fantastic listener. He'll sit with you on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, and let you talk or just sit in silence if that's what you need.

He'll encourage you to take small steps toward self-care. Each small accomplishment is a victory.

GOJO

Gojo is the playful and mischievous, but he takes your struggles seriously and will go above and beyond to make you feel better.

He often peppers his words with humor to make you smile. "Come on, princess, let's show this depression who's boss today!"

He'll plan fun activities to take your mind off things. Whether it's watching a funny movie or playing a silly game, he's there to lift your spirits.

Gojo is all about affection. He'll shower you with kisses, hugs, and compliments, constantly reminding you of how amazing you are.

He understands that self-care can be daunting, so he'll break it down into manageable steps.

"How about we start with a bubble bath, and then we'll tackle the rest together?"

He's incredibly patient and understanding, always ready to provide the support you need.

Gojo lets you pick the bath salts and essential oils for your bath. "What scent do you feel like today, sweetheart? Lavender for relaxation, or maybe something citrusy to boost your mood?"

He plays some calming music in the background, creating a serene atmosphere as you soak in the bath.

After the bath, Gojo gently dries your hair and brushes it, making sure you feel cared for from head to toe.

Gojo encourages you to share your feelings and thoughts. He listens attentively, making sure you know that you can always talk to him.

[fioooweeooweeeoo]

Fiowee Presents...

Extraordinary You

Tags: Firstly I'd like to thank @teyamsatan for helping and inspiring me to make this fic!! Such a sweet gal and of course I'd tag her for this first chapter IN WHICH i have been cooking up for quite some time (months actually AHAHAH) EVRYONE WHO'S BEEN ANTICIPATING THIS FIRST CHAPTER PLS GO CHECK OUT HERS TOO!! LOTS OF GREAT FICS AND ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC WRITING ~~

Other Tags!!: @glimmering-darling-dolly

A/N: okay first part was rlly dedicated to my bestie who inspired me to do this. ( btw for dates it goes *mm/dd/yy*,  hope yall don't mind I put a specific birth date for Y/N ^^ 7 is actually her bday) Other than thatt what i really want to say here is that to everyone whose been waiting patiently for this, I present to you the first chapter of EXTRAORDINARY YOU! With all that is said this is my first ever fic so if this isn't ur cup of tea you don't have to read it!! anyways lemme stop me rambles pls enjoy my first chapter xoxo mwuah ^-^

Warnings: Not much here except for some guns and a little bit of violence??? its not to big tho HELP soo its rlly just the introoo n stuff

Word count is: 5.6k WHEWW it took me weeks rlly

Chapter 2 - Till i met you

--------------------------------------   ♡   -----------------------------------

(3rd person POV *YOU'RE SAYING THIS !* ) 

Hey! Probably an interesting way of starting this story here, something like breaking the fourth wall? I don't know- forget about my rambles but, My name is Y/N Chacon, and I live in Pandora.

Yep- that's right- it's not every day you realise that you became apart of a world wide astronomical party to fly out to this foreign planet to make it liveable for every possible human being, well- that's basically how my parents got here, I was just born here. Now you're probably wondering why lil' ol' me right there- the one that's basically struggling to get a hold of a vine 10,000 feet above a floating mountain has come to this-? Let's rewind a bit-

1 year and a half ago.

4.6.2175

Wind whistling. Sounds of foreign animals around you. And the smell of an earthy and forest musk emanates as you breathe in. Your eyes peel to take in to the surroundings around you-.. Pandora. Is what you first think, the forest is beautiful, you stare up to the trees as they seem longer and you feel as you've gone tinier. You breathe out as if a sigh of relief has washed over you, but then you hear it- the sound of stick cracking.

Your body instinctively rises up, you heart rate slowly escalating each unfamiliar sound your now hearing, a low growl is heard from your left, you turn to look and see a pair of two yellow beaded eyes, curious you crawl to it, your genuine curiosity gotten the best out of you when the beast pounces at you and-

You wake up. What?.. you've realised your breathing was not matched and you're hyperventilating. You sweat as if you're hot but you feel cold. Your hand slides through your hair and you breathe in slowly and out deeply. Suddenly your room door opens.

"Hey there kiddo.. you alright there?" Max enters your room and knew that you are hyperventilating due to your watch on your wrist still checking for your heart rate.

"Yeah yeah.. no, I'm fine.. I'm... I'm good-" 

"Hey hey- you sure about that? It's already around the start of morning, why don't you come eat breakfast with me, Norm and Lara?

"I- sure, yeah that sounds nice" you smile faintly, feeling a little calmer now that you've steadied your heart rate. You've come to realised it was normal for you to have these dreams, somehow you've always tried to decipher what could be the cause of it, you're unsure why, all you know is that you want to know, there's something about it- like it magnetises you. 

"Max?" you call out to him, as he turns around with a questionable face

"Do you think- maybe I can- come with you guys to the outpost later? I just got some stuff left there-" 

"Sure, kiddo. Me and your Aunt Lara will fix some stuff there too-" He smiles to you as he leaves shutting your door 

You began to stand up and went to your bathroom checking on the mirror, brushing your hair and doing your normal skincare, as you do so, you look at yourself, staring blankly at the mirror. You sighed deeply both in and out, closing your eyes and re-imagining the dream in your head- but nothing comes up. You sigh in defeat trying so hard to remember- but you tell yourself that you'd worry about it in another time, you smile at the mirror and went on out

As your camera starts rolling you place it gently on the counter angling it right to your face creating a somewhat good angle showing your face, and as you're done prepping you go face-to-face with the camer.

"Hello-? Is this working-" *taps camera lens* "oh- oops- there it is" you giggle to yourself for your clumsiness, you bring the camera up to your face to video yourself then

"Hellooo wooorld! I am back! Well technically I'm in another planet and other stuff like that- but here i am! Back again, to show you- this! Voilà!" 

You enter a room wherein both Norm and Max were checking files in large screens tapping away like they usually do to get things running in the lab incase they were needed by Jake and to produce other experiments for more of their researches. Thanks to Jake, most of the humans were allowed to stay and go about their ways unless they were needed by Jake, most of these being researchers and old scientist friends. As you were walking by you panned your camera to a tank, with a familiar avatar that was placed inside with water flowing inside it, keeping it normal, that being Grace's Avatar, it was no secret you've always longed for something like it, being able to walk freely without the need of a darn mask, and the ability to be outside without being prey to most animals around pandora, it was a struggle for you to be in a human body, never being able to go out as you want to, but you go out on rare occasions, because both of them obviously knows how it gets boring and makes you wanna go insane without having to go outside for long periods.

Norm looks up from his desk as he scribbling down notes, he pushes down his glasses as he was seeing you walk around the room eith a camera in hand recording the whole room

he chuckles and sighs contently

"No- 'Goodmorning, Norm!' today then?" He chuckles as you roll your eyes scoffing a little

"Goodmorningg, Normm!" you say in a teasing tone. 

"And Max-!" Max pops out from behind the other monitor with one hand raised, you laugh a little as Norm nudges you at your side when you pass by, camera still recording 

"And goodmorning to you Grace-" you pan the camera lens to yourself while behind you is Grace's Avatar in the tank floating, as you wave to the camera

"And so here we are- pamparampaam! The Lab! We got some old researches, scribbled notes that either Norm or Max have wrote and I have zero idea of what's in it- 

(Max:) "that's my lunch order from the cafeteria Y/N-" 

"Yeah- okay. Well- that does not look like lunch to me-" you deadpan as Norm chuckles but Max gives him a stern look

"Hey- Boys do you mind if you find the files for- Oh! Y/N- Didn't know you'd come here! Is this your first time in the lab-?" Lara says while fixing her goggles

Lara was sort of like your Aunt in a way that you guys aren't related as much, but most of the time she was like a parental figure to you- She grew fond of you ever since you had been born, she was a good friend to your mother and Grace, and was left devasted to the events of what led to their endings, and so with that, Lara had made a promise to both you and herself that she'd be able to protect you from whatever happens, no matter what. 

"Hey! Aunt Lara- come 'ere for a sec-" *you tug Lara's lab coat as she gets surprised as you bring her near you to bring the camera to her face showing her a little fluffy and curly brown hair, her goggles hanging off her neck and her half-done makeup that's looked slightly rushed but it looked good for the most part- her olive green eyes look at the camera and she shrieks a little covering her face with one hand* 

"Say hi to the cameraa!" *you squeal- as you giggle little form her hiding her face with her one hand* 

(Lara:) "oh-! Hi~ sorry- honey- my makeups a little off right now-" *you blow raspberries and scoff a little*

"Oh come on- you look gorgeous right now! Even if you got off the wrong side of bed- i bet one of the other guys eye you everyday- especially Norm-." you whisper and snicker a little together with Lara as she scrunches her nose and giggles with you

(Norm:) "I heard that-!" he answers, as you both giggle even more 

As you use both your hands to hold the camera properly, your watch beeps, you look at it with a small smile-

"Welp- gotta go guys- I will be filming again later- but this gal- gotta take her meds-! Mwuah-! Peace out-!" 

as you place your camera down, you sigh a little, a small smile creeping up as you look back to Lara who was already looking at you with a warm smile

(Lara:) "How's it been sweetie?" 

"Nothing much, just another day- stuck in a huge facility full of scientists and labs, and paperwork and all that jazz, ventilated with the only possible air for me because one step out there and I'm-" *you cut your sentence blowing raspberries, imitating that if you take one step put to pandora without the oxygen mask, then you'd die, pretty much* 

(Lara:) "I know you're tryna' convince me to let you go out- but you know the rules-" *you roll your eyes at her statement* 

"Spider gets to go out! Why can't I-?" 

(Lara:) "Then ask him to stay with you when you go out." 

"But you know how he gets everytime I see him- He always has that smug-ass shit-eating smile that always gets on my nerves-! And you obviously know what he says to me all the time" 

(Lara:) "Language!" *you raise both your hands up in defense then slowly put them in an upright position, as you place your head in between ypur palms, sighing* 

(Lara:) *She sighs feeling a little defenseless from what you said*

"... your turning 18 tomorrow right?-" 

*you nod, eyes snapping to her still in the same position wondering what she'll say next-* 

"Alright...- now I'm not saying I'm letting you go by yourself-" *eyes lighting up in excitement, your head snaps up like a dog getting alerted by an intruder, a smile slowly creeping up your face as she says this* 

"Ah-! Wait- you can go- but I'm going to call spider for this occasion specifically- he's got some friends out there that would also be with you too- so you don't wander off to some other place, okay? Can I trust you?" *You nod to her words quickly in joy, like a happy child who was allowed to go play outside* 

"Yes! Yes-! Don't worry- I'll be with them the whole entire time, just please let me go out this once! I'LL GIVE YOU MY BLOOD-" *you plead and shove your hand infornt of her face as if you would give her your blood* 

"Alright! Alright- jeez you're like your mother- you can go, I'm calling spider in today so that both of you are prepared tomorrow morning-" *you squeal in excitement- jumping a little until you grab Lara in a big hug, she chuckles as she pats you in the head* 

*you finally calmed down and patted yourself in a fancy way, you stood infront of her and breathed jn and out deeply* 

"Thank you, Aunt Lara, I will be going to my room and wait until that day comes." *you bowed as she laughs at your antics, amused by your response, leaving the lab as you make your way to the door, and as the door closes, you squeal and scream in happiness, she snorts a little from the scene*

Norm scoots his spinning chair facing opposite to Lara, as she gets nudged at the shoulder by him gaining her attention, he smiles softly and cocks his head to the side

"Somehow she reminds me of her.." she says under her breathe, Norm huffs agreeing with her*

*you walk around skipping in joy as you went around a part of lab where you usually take your medicine, as you take out a red pill, and a cup of water as you drink and swallow the pill and as you were drinking the water, a monstrous like figure pops up infront of you, making your eyes go wide as rhe monstrous figure roars in a somewhat human like voice that you felt like you could guess it was either and only one other person, but your anxiety instincts got the best of you so you spit out the water to their face and immediately grabbed one of the labs tray pans that you see right beside you immediately scream* 

"AHHHHH GET AWAY FROM ME- AHHH-" *You scream as the person then starts running away from you but you keep hitting them with he pan as they start screaming as well pleading for you to stop* 

"Y/N- AHH- WAIT- STOP STOP STOP- WAIT- ITS ME- SPIDER! WAHHH-" 

"SPIDER? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER- STOP POSSESSING NY BROTHER WHATEVER DEMON YOU ARE-"

*you continue to scream as two pairs of arms hold both of your hands up making you drop the pan, as you stop screaming, spider removes the mask and you sigh in relief* 

"WHAT THE F- DUDE WHY WOULD Y-" 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!-" *A crowd emerges from behind spider and surprise you* 

As  soon as you realize who these people were your shock turned into a surprised smile 

Loak, Kiri, and Tuk come up behind spider and surprised you 

"Wh- what're you guys-" 

*Kiri immediately passed you a carefully wrapped object with banana leaves and hands you it, your confused but relieved at the same time* 

"But it's not even my-" 

"It's your gift-! We all have some gifts for you but I wanna give you mine before you see whatever Loak has for you-" 

"What??!!" *loak shouts and you all laugh* 

"Excuse you, but I for one have a very special and well crafted gift for her- y'know- cause we're close like 'that'" *Loak nudges you and wiggles his eyebrows* 

*you rolled your eyes and scoff*

"If choking is called 'being close' would you consider it?"

"Which way?" *loak interjects with a cocky smile and wiggly eyebrows*

"GROSS-" *You yell out as loak chuckles* 

"Nice one, dude" *Spider praises Loak as they both high five. Your eyes widen and you scoff, while kiri rolls her eyes, tuk left to wonder what they meant* 

"So y/n... i was thinking-"  "THERES GOING TO BE A HUGE HUGE CELEBRATION TODAY AND WE WANT YOU TO COME WITH US!!" *kiri excitedly finishes as loaks jaw was left hanging a little*

"Today-?.." *you say slowly as kiri speaks again "YEAH! there's gonna be food, dancing-" "and a hell of a lot of drinking" *loak says with his elbow placed on top of your head*

*as everyone talks about the celebration, you on the other hand is worried about what you were gonna say* 

"Guys- i really really- and i seriously wanna stress this- i cant go-" 

"Aww what-" *spider says*

"But what about us-?" *loak says after*

"Y/N." *kiri holds your hand between her large ones and has her cute pleading eyes on, the ones you've never said no to* 

"Kiri- please, you know i cant do it- not today though-"

*Kiri's eyes light up* "What do you mean, Y/N?" *you sigh as you gave a bige wide smile* "LARA GAVE ME THE GO!" *Everyone gasps as they also cheer* "Y/N!? Your serious about this!?" *spider says with pure astonishment* 

"Well- I had to convince Lara a teeny tiny bit AND IT WORKED IN THE END! I got permission to go!"

*everyone's cheers together* 

"So if your allowed tomorrow why not today-?" *Loak asks*

"It's not my birthday yet so we'll have to wait-" *you say in return*

"Okay but since your birthday is tomorrow and it is technically midnight-" *kiri says his name warning him*

"It's technically okay to go out right now-" *Loak gets gutted by Kiris elbow*

"What?? I am right- am I not??" *loak says with furrowed eyebrows*

"Loak! If she can't go it's okay! There's always tomorrow anyway!" 

"Cmon kiri it's just one night, plus I have an idea-" "please don't tell me your sneaking out-" 

"Pfft! What!? No-......" *silence overtook the air as they were waiting for him to speak again* 

"Okay maybe that's what i was thinking-" *kiri and spider groan*

"I appreciate the lovely and probably not so well-thought idea-" *Loak cocks his head to both Kiri and Spider*

"But- I can't do this- I mean, not until I turn 18 which is tomorrow and-" 

"Tanhi- cmon- we'll be sure to be with you at all times, every second, minute, hour-! Trust me, tanhi, we don't want you to miss this one too!" 

*loak places his hand on top of yours on the table as he gives you pleading eyes as well, you contemplate a little as you look from his hand back to his eyes* 

"Loak- what if we get in trouble-" *spider says worriedly*

"Sometimes your kind of a buzz kill, spider" *you gave him a stern look as he says this and he rolls his eyes* 

"Look- we'll get you back here as soon as possible, I promise"

"I hate to say this but Loaks right- we'll get you back real soon-" *kiri says back*

*you look between both of them- wondering what to do, then letting your eyes fall to spider with his arms crossed who's looking back to you*

"Don't look at me- I've been living my life by my own choices- it's time you make yours Y/N-" *He says with a soft smile, loak on the other hand squeezes your hand softly and he tilts his head giving you a reassuring look* 

you sigh looking at all of them, as tuk runs to you and hugs you at your waist, despite your height, you and tuk seemed to be the same height

"Please please please Y/N!"

*she says with cute puppy dog eyes*

"Well...." *your cut your sentence short*

"Alright- I guess- but you promise to keep quiet doing it-?.." *they all nod with smiles on their faces*

"Okay.. let's do this-" *you say firmly with a smile* 

‐-------------------------------

"Y/N- do you really have to take this long-" *Loak says with a groan, as he knocks on your door*

"Do you want me to die because I missed my meds while outside when im not supposed to?" *You say as loak turns and grumbles to himself, leaning against the side of the door with a small pout*

"That's what I thought- alrighty! All done-" *you unlock your door as everyone moves to see you, your wearing a small pale brownish off-shoulder top showing off your stomach a little together with shorts that are brown making you look more curvier and thicker with the clothes on, and your last piece being your sneakers that are white and little half-round sling-bag, holding all your meds and extras incase you need it, and of course your watch, checking your hearbeat and your alarm for those meds of yours, as you open the door holding on the knob, you gauge on their reactions with a small shy smile, as they stare at you with awe for sometime, loak and spider jaws dropped wide open, kiris and tuks with a big smile on hers* 

"So... what do you guys think?" *you say with a shy smile on your face*

"AHH! YOU LOOK SO CUTE!" *Kiri squeals out*

"Damn-" *loak scoffs in surprise*

"Wow -" *spider says*

"Out of my way boys!" *tuk pushes loak and spider out of her way*

"We got this-" *as tuk grabs your arm and yanks you out of your room placing you in your chair as kiri stretches her arms and cracks her knuckles, carefully braiding your hair with beads and flowers for tonight*

*as minutes passed, tuk and kiri finally complete your hair, two braids hanging,  from the front left and right sides of your forehead with two beads from each side, pink and blue beads in the left and green and  purple at right , flowy hair hanging from the sides too, and from the back, two braids connecting to the middle to make one decorated with flowers from Kiri, all vibrant with beauty, your long flowy hair splayed behind you from the bottom of the braids behind*

"Okay all done!" *tuk announces while patting her hands together*

"You face to your mirror turning around checking yourself out, with jaw down and eyes somewhat close to crying* 

"This is so beautiful.. I can't thank you guys enough-!" *you say in joy as you hug them*

*You made your way to the exit hatch where no one would be able to see you*

"You ready to explore the unknown?" *spider says side by side with you* 

"Nope," *you pause looking from him to the door* "let's do it" *you say heading out with everyone as you step out to the cool summer ish breeze*

--------------------------------

"Loak..." "I know where I'm going jeez-" "its been 30 minutes we could've been there before 20-" "just let me do my thing!" "Alright!" 

*as both kiri and spider argue with loak* 

*as you walk around with awe, turning around in every step of the way to look back at the scenery, it's dark out yet the plants and nature around you seem to live on it's own, a bright aura shining from each step you take, as soon as you step backwards you stumble one a root and find yourself yelping from falling backwards until someone catches you and you look up to see who it is* 

"Woah- slow down princess, wouldn't want getting a scratch on ya-" *loak says with a teasing grin getting you up, you roll your eyes*

"I can walk just fine y'kno- woah!" *as soon as your sentence cuts off, loak carries you placing your legs letting you sit on his broad shoulders placing your calves on his chest, you hold on to his head for support a little surprised by his actions, loak laughs at your antics* 

"Not funny." *you grumbled as you nag him to put you down*

"You're very slow y'know- even spiders much faster than you-" *you smack the side of his head and he hisses*

"Watch it-" 

*suddenly the crack of a stick disturbs the quietness of the forest around all of you, loak and kiri look at each their in slight confusion, and loak sets you down slowly to avoid any threat that may come to him while holding you with him.* 

*loak follows the hush whispers that were somewhere ahead of them as kiri tries to urge loak to stay behind, he ignores her protests and sneakily hides behind a large bush when he sees something that could get them all screwed. Recoms. RDA Recoms. Holding guns and sashes of bullets wrapped around them in military uniform. You've been told stories of the the war that happened 6 or so years ago, when your uncle Norm had told told that spider won't be at the lab because he was with jake sully and their family, you were disheartened to hear about what had happened but you were thankful spider had returned home safely, you nearly crushed him when you ran up to him and hugged him so tightly it felt like you almost choked him, but he was alright. So was Loak, Kiri, Tuk, and Neteyam, they had visited the lab back from the war to thank Norm and Max for their help, but neteyam wasn't there, ofcourse he had fought in the war fearlessly, and brought great honor to his family and people as they returned home safely, so he had to make sure everyone else was safe to meaning he had thought of his people first before humans, they had sought refuge to the Metkayina Clan, what had felt like the longest battle in years, only now would it find its way to start again. Somehow it felt like you knew everything that happened, like you were there somehow, it felt crystal clear to you of when it happened as if you had been there, but your uncle had told you it might be you just imagining things. Which leads you up to this moment, the Recoms, the RDA, Quaritch.*

"Look at that... that's your dad's actual suit..-" *loak says to spider as they sneak to the bushes too*

"What the..." *spider scrunches his eyebrows*

"Loak you're gonna be in trouble.."

"Shh-" "for life-" "Shut up-" *their voices are quite unbearably loud worrying you slightly, as you look over the bushes, you see tall avatars searching around taking to one another, like a meeting.. whatever it was- your stomach makes you feel things because of your anxiety, worriedly thinking why the hell they're back. You whisper to loak*

"Loak we need to get out of here-" 

"I got this- I've spotted before-" 

*he presses his throat com button to reach to jake* 

"Dad.." "where have you been, loak, what have I told you earlier-" 

"I've spotted some recoms... avatars.. they look like avatars..."

"What-.. where are you right now..?" 

"Uhm.. we're- we're at the old shack-"

"The old shack-? Shit- who- who are you with right now..." 

"I'm with-" *He looks around all of you, and gulps slightly*

"Im with kiri-, spider... Y/n.. and... and tuk.." 

"Tuk is with you!?.." 

"Yes..-"

"Alright... Alright- stay where you are and don't go anywhere else- we're coming- alright stay put, got it?"

*silence comes from loak as he doenst know what else to do*

"Loak I need an answer."

"Yes sir.." 

"Loak.. what's going on-" *you ask him worriedly*

"We're getting out of here- let's move-" 

"What- loak- but dad said-" 

"We need to head somewhere safer before they find us first-"

"I swear, if they find us your in so much trouble-" *kiri stresses to loak as they travel around the various bushes and leaves infront of them* 

"Guys we have to hurry what if they find- AHH-!" *tuk screams as shes taken hostage by a recom, she squirms as rhe man holds her down from her kuru, making her cry and plead. As all recoms spread out and start surrounding us, spider unsheathes his bow, hissing and aiming his bow at them, loak tells spider to lower his bow, spider reluctantly puts his bow down, as kiri then gets tugged by a recom earning a yelp from her, tuk wails and cries, pleading for them to stop* 

"Mawey... tuk mawey-.." *kiri repeats to tuk as she then gets pulled at her head by the recom, she hisses at them* 

*You suddenly get trapped in the arms of a recom making you scream, you squirm your way trying to release yourself from them but your too weak to fight them off, everyone starts panicking in some way, spider tries to bite the recom but gets pulled at the hair instead, loak tries to convince the recoms he only spoke navi* 

*another unfamiliar recom comes into view earning confused looks from all of you, he then looks between you and spider, a little surprised, you send him a glare as you huff in anger slightly trying to tug yourself away from them, but the recom pulls you back and shouts at you to stay still. He roams around everyone and spots loak* 

"Show me your hands.." *he says in a deep and rustic voice* 

*loak gets shoved by the recom behind him trying to get an answer out of him, he then pulls both of his hands out drawing the middle finger to the man infront of him, a little 'fuck you' message to him. You smile and snicker a little, at loaks antics but your hair gets tugged by the recom behind you asking you if it's funny, you then hiss and glare behind them* 

"Hmm, so you are his..." *He smiles as he then looks up and nods at rhe recom to let him go, then taking looks kuru and tugging the braid along it, making him scream in pain, you wince as you see him get tugged at.* 

"Where is he?" *He orders loak, loak hisses at him, but he continues to pull at his hair trying to get an answer out of him* 

*Loak speaks in navi*

"Sorry.. but i don't speak your language.. to buttheads" *He chuckles at this sort but his braid gets pulled back again* 

"Where is your father- now." *Quaritch speaks more sternly in navi, pulling the back of loaks kuru making him hiss* 

"Leave him alone asshole-!" *you shouted to Quaritch as Loaks eyes went wide at your statement, Quaritch let's go of loak and hands him to another recom as he makes his way over to you, he snarls at you and pulls you by the hair, your breathe knocked out off your lungs as he forces you on your knees, taking a dagger out and holds it by your neck* 

"LET HER GO- DONT HURT HER PLEASE-" *Spider yells at him*

"DONT FUCKING TOUCH HER ASSHOLE-" *Loak tries to run to you but he gets held back by the recom* 

"And how are you- a simple human girl, can breathe in this fucking planet?.." *your heart drops, how did he know? he snarls at you and you squirm spewing curses at him telling him to let you go* 

"Ahh.. I see- dad's a navi and your mom a human?-" *He says chuckling to himself as your anger is fueled even more* 

"You don't know anything about me!" *you yell at him, making him hiss at you.* 

"Colonel- we got him tracked." *A recom announces as he pulls a tablet up for him, he looks at the statistics and smiles greedily, everyone worries* "Everyone, keep your eyes on lookout, we've got company." *Your heart drops at that moment, realising what they meant* 

"Shit-" *you curse under you're breathe, as they move you to another part of the forest you try and pry yourself away from the recoms but they keep you in place and snarl at you* 

*You try to calm yourself feeling a little lightheaded of what's about to happen, your all but calm though, you feel tears threatening to spill, suddenly a recom shouts of a sighting of a navi, you and everyone else were pulled down to duck, as the recpms start aiming their guns at them, you shake as the sound of a guns terrify you, tuk being beside you, you hold her hand as she cries, she looks at you, fear driven in her irises, you calm her as the gunshots never stopped until you heard a yip. Loak then elbows the recom taking a smoke bomb distracting all of them, Loak urges all of you to run and follow him, suddenly all the recoms start to chase you, your hands still locked together by some kind of cuffs, you run together with loak, kiri, tuk, and spider. As you almost get close to clearing you stumble upon a vine catching you off and falling down, one of the recoms are close by just feet away from you as they found you vulnerable, they almost get to you until you saw it, two pairs of navi eyes looking directly at you and the recom infront of him, the recom doesn't notice until he gets shot by an arrow through their chest. You fight back to scream opting to cover your mouth instead whimpering in fear, the navi runs up to you and grabs you by the arm, undoing your cuffs saying in English "GO!". Your mind races with thoughts wondering why the navi had saved you, he could've mistakened you for a scientist ans would've killed you right then and there, but for some reason, it had felt like for a split second something about him felt familiar- but as you were too caught up in imagining, he held you by your waist and carries you, making you yelp in the sudden change as you hold on to his neck for support. He ran fast, dodging most bullets as you held onto him for dear life. But as you were close to the clearing, the navi man's ankle had caught a vine and sprained his ankle, making you both tumble over, the injury was bad and who knows how many seconds had gone by till they found you* 

"Oh my god!? Shit- your ankle-" 

*you try to think of a solution and immediately ripped both your pants in a half making it into shorts, the navi man stares at you confused and panting, you bring the fabric tp his ankle and wrap it securely, he hisses at the pain* "It's going to be fine, we gotta get out of here-" *suddenly a beeping sound was heard around both of you and you realised it was a bomb* 

"SHIT! LOOKOUT-" *the navi man shouts as he rolls you both over to a farther place making you both roll over a steep part of the forest, he holds you close to him, engulfing you in his arms as to not get you hurt or scratched. Thankfully by the time you both reached the end, you both were at the clearing, as you both meet Jake, Neytiri, loak, kiri, and tuk. 

*Neytiri gasps at the both you, seeing you and neteyam falling Iver the slope.* "Are you kids alright?!" *jake asks worriedly running up to you both as everyone huddles near you both* "Yes, sir- we're alright-" 

*Neteyam says until he unwraps his arms around you seeing you unconscious, Neteyam curses under his breathe as everyone gasps in shock*

"Shit."

[greensagephase]

I spent my entire day reading Nonviolent Communication, and let me just say, THIS STORY IS SO AMAZING !! Omggg like u don't understand. I've been trying my best to find a slow burn story of Miguel for so long like literally I've searched far and wide, and finally, I crossed paths w this fantastical piece of literature and I'm obsessed ‼️😫💖💖 I'm eating this up fr and I want more, I need more lol

You're amazing!! Pls keep doing what you're doing bcs you're doing a pretty good darn job. You deserve nothing but the best. You gained yourself a new moot. I will for sure be reading more of ur works trust on that 🤞🏼💖

Hi!! THANK YOU!!! 💕I'm happy that Nonviolent Communication found you and that it's what you've been looking for!! It's really crazy how many people have found the story recently and it just makes me very happy to see that readers have been enjoying the slowburn as I'm personally a sucker for it. Part 11 will be out this weekend (if everything goes well as I'm still working on it), so you won't have to wait long for the new update (hopefully)! Also, you're the second reader to say they read the story in a day and I'm shocked because it's quite long (or maybe it just feels really long to me since I spend so many hours editing it lol) but that's seriously amazing, thank you!!

Also, thank you for the lovely words 🥹 It makes me so happy to see that you're enjoying the story so far and that it's what you've been searching. I truly hope you enjoy the rest of it, too! Thank you for the support and the kind words, it really means a lot to me!!! Have a wonderful day/night!!! ❤️

-Alondra

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

Hello!!!

Happy Valentine's day 💖 I hope your rehearsals are going well and that you and Jerry are officially besties!! You're a pisces moon?!? I'm a pisces sun so I'm also emotional, hence why i cry at anything i find beautiful 😂😭

I'm seeing Into the Woods on Thursday and I'm so excited! I hope you've been able to see some more live performances! Also J'Nai Bridges, the woman who played Delilah in the performance of Samson and Delilah that i saw just announced she's also going to be playing Carmen in Carmen in Chicago!! I sadly won't be able to see it, but if there are promo videos I'll send them your way!!

Also, that pic of your doggo is so cute😍!!! And the bouquet of flowers your gf got you are so beautiful!!!! Anyways, I hope you have a happy Valentine's and a great rest of the week! We're finally getting some sunshine in Seattle and I hope you're getting some too!!

-paganini anon

P.S. here's a cute lil Valentine's day song to add to your playlist of the day: Salut D'Amour

P.P.S idk if the song link actually worked, but it's the Itzhak Perlman version!

Hi Paganini Anon!

Happy (late) Valentine’s Day! 💗 I hope you had a wonderful day.

Ahhh thank you! We’re performing Brahms for our next concert- I’m so excited! And thank you 😌 Jerry is an icon. Yes, I’m a Pisces moon!! Ahh a fellow Pisces- I’ve always thought that Pisces are one of the best Zodiacs tbh.

Ooo Into the Woods! I hope you have a fantastic time on Thursday, I’m so excited for you!! Pls tell me all about it (if you want to haha). That’s so funny that you brought up Carmen bc a friend and I were just talking about it!! I’m going to have to look up J’Nai Bridges!! I’m considering buying tickets to see Hilary Hahn in a few months. She’s performing a Bach recital that sounds amazing and I would do anything for her tbh.

Ah thank you 😭 Charlie is full of energy and so crazy but I love her. And thank you omg, she surprised me with them and I legit cried lmao. Aw thank you sm, it was really nice and peaceful- my gf and I actually watched an episode of WandaVision!! I’m so glad y’all are getting some sunshine in Seattle! We had some sun earlier in the week and now it’s gloomy again 😭

The p.s. awww!! I think my mobile tumblr app hates me and wouldn’t open the link but I love Itzhak AND Salut d’amour!! I learned that in college around Valentine’s Day for a recital lab I think. Ahh thank you, this made my day. Thank you as always for the asks, I hope you’re having a great week! 💜✨

[ofgentleresolve-a]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 (these are dedicated to Professor Patrick Myungdae Grace, from a certain sourfaced detective who's been behaving like a MESS lately when he's around him, who gets massive dokis as soon as he sees him, who gets lowkey giddy when remembering their latest moments of affection, who's been also (quietly) pining for the past years IHWEUHWEDHUEDH, I know you'll be answering these privately but I still wanted to send 'em in EVEN IF?? I MEAN WE...WE KIND OF KNOW THIS ONE lmao, BUT HELLO LOVELY FERRE, HOPE YOU'VE BEEN DOING WELL AND THAT YOU'VE BEEN HAVING A FANTASTIC WEEKEND ;W; )

@jeoseungsaja hyurick can take my money...and my heart too 🥰🥰🥰

send 🔥 if your muse has a crush on mine

listen i know i said i’d be answering these in private BUT I CAN’T HIDE THIS ONE....BC LOOK AT THEM...THE PINING!! THE LONGING!! THE SLOWBURN!! THE LINGERING TOUCHES HOW THEY CAN’T KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF OF EACH OTHER AND REALLY KEEP ON THINKING ABOUT WANTING TO KISS EACH OTHER!! THE FACT THAT THEY LITERALLY HAVE BEEN PINING FOR EACH OTHER!! FOR YEARS!! and think that they can’t have this bc there’s no way the other could return those feelings BUT THEY TOTALLY CAN 🥲

but like also?? i absolutely adore their friendship even without the romance bc they literally always have each other’s best interest in mind, they’re completely selfless when it comes to the other person even if it means they themselves might not benefit but it’s okay ‘as long as he’s happy, he’s okay, i’ll be too’ 🥺🥺🥺 they really are best friends ( with a little something extra this lifetime ), ride-or-dies, and PLATONIC SOULMATES....i never expected patrick to meet someone who would vibe SO WELL with him....but also not them MIRRORING EACH OTHER IN ALMOST EVERY SITUATION TOGETHER and just being so perceptive of what the other person is thinking and doing...they really are the definition of life-long friends-turned-lovers and help someone take the mic away from me before i go into a whole monologue about why i will go down with this ship and why hyurick absolutely lives rent-free in my head JFKLSDJFLSDJF

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HYURICK ALEX!! it’s been an absolute JOY writing them out with you and plotting for them BUT ALSO THAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT ALL OF OUR DYNAMICS AND JUST!! INTERACTING WITH YOU IS JUST A WONDERFUL TIME FOR ME THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FRIENDO pls have a wonderful day and care you lots  🥰🥰🥰

[inkedtae]

Hiii!

I just want to be as respectful as possible because racism in Kpop is sometimes overlooked and it hurts my feelings to see it brushed aside as a black person. Obviously we all know bts has done racist things, and the problem isn't solo stanning bc PLS stan as many groups as you want 😭. It's just saying skz aren't racist is slightly offensive as although they haven't all done something, the black face incident was really horrible for a lot of black fans to witness. Now ofc I'm not saying don't stan them because that's COMPLETELY your choice and you can write as many fantastic fics as you want (all your fics are amazing!) But please don't downplay their wrongdoings.

I'm not trying to hate or anything because i love your page sm but I just wanted to shed some light on why some people may be upset with the situation. The way the previous anon phrased it wasn't right at all and I'm sorry you had to experience that so I'm trying to be as respectful as possible 😅. I'm sure they were white and uncultured like that other anon said 💀, but i felt n-word and blackface discussions don't extend to ALL kinds of POC as its only affects blk stans.

I hope you understand where I'm coming from and hope you know we all love you and your page 💓💓💓

Hi! Thank you for writing in, I hope you've been well!

I agree with everything you have very well written. You are right in every aspect of this and I would like to apologize for the way I handled and brushed everything off. Though it was not my intention, it is what I did and for that I am sorry.

I am adamant on speaking up about injustices, especially racial ones. I have never shied away from discussions of this nature nor do I plan to. It is very important to me that everyone who would like to interact with my page, whether sending asks, reading fics, or even looking at reblogs, feels safe and comfortable doing so. My claim that stray kids are not racist, is a personal opinion and one, in this context of harm/damage to the black community, I do not believe I have the right to have. I want to apologize for sharing it in an ignorant way as well.

What particularly irked me about that previous ask was the sheer entitlement and arrogance behind both their wording and tone. It seemed to pin racial offenses solely on stray kids, who are not at all innocent and also not the only kpop group to do highly racist/offensive things, and shame me for not only writing about them, but liking them as well. Their use of "disappointed" struck a chord with me because it placed me at fault, not them for setting unwanted and unrequested expectations on me. This is in no way an excuse for how I poorly handled the situation. I am just explaining my thought process at the time.

I will educate myself more about the racist history of groups before forming a personal opinion and will not dismiss matters I have no real right to or experience with.

I sincerely apologize for dismissing the conversation, offending and causing further harm.

Thank you again for this and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! 💕

[inukag]

Hi! I hope you're doing well!

I've noticed that in a few of your responses you've mentioned that you don't read as much fanfic as you used to. I was just curious as to what some of those reasons are, if you're comfortable sharing of course! I'm just being nosy so please feel free to ignore this and tell me it's none of my business lol XD.

I've been in the Inuyasha fandom for almost two years now and reading fanfiction is something I have never been into, but after coming across some fantastic snippets and fanfic on tumblr, I'm thinking about giving it a try.

I love your blog by the way and your meta is superb!!! Have a nice night! :)

Hello! First of all thank you for the compliment, that's very sweet 🥺💕

To answer your question, well the first reason is pretty boring: I just have a very short attention span nowadays and I can't focus on reading fanfics, lol. I used to have 2+ hours of commute time every day where I didn't have anything to do other than being on my phone, so that's when I read fanfics. Now that I work from home I don't have that anymore and when I open a fanfic I always get distracted and end up doing other things :\

The second reason... is that I dislike certain tropes that are very popular in inukag fanfics.

(I'm putting this under read more in case people don't want to read something negative. This isn't meant to criticize writers who use these tropes, I just want to share why I don't vibe with them)

One of them is the whole "Inuyasha is 200 years old and ages like a full-yokai". I understand that people take this as fact because it's anime-canon, but it's not manga-canon (see the end of this post) and it makes no sense to me. I strongly dislike it because a lot of post-canon fanfics centers around trying to find a way to "fix" this, and it usually leads to Kagome having to extend her lifespan to match Inuyasha's, and I just haaaate that. Kagome is human and I don't think she would want to see the people around her die over and over again just to be with Inuyasha. In a world where Inuyasha ages like a yokai, I honestly prefer the option of Inuyasha shortening his lifespan to match Kagome's or him outliving Kagome but watching over their kids and their descendants for centuries (that's also really sad for Inuyasha, but he would be more "used to it" if he's 200 already). Those are a lot more rare in the fandom so I don't find a lot of fanfics that I "agree" with, lol.

Also the lifespan issue often leads to the "mating" trope... which I just can’t stand. It's hard to find a smut fanfic that doesn't end with Inuyasha biting Kagome's neck 🥴 Inuyasha's animalistic behaviors in canon are mostly for comedy, when it comes to relationships with others he's definitely more human-like. Also Inuyasha being super dominant and confident in general during sex (especially during his first time with Kagome) is something I don't vibe with. Give me soft, clumsy Inuyasha who has no idea what he's doing and Kagome taking charge pls!

The last trope I don't like is Inuyasha & Kagome using pet names for each other, like "wench" or "koi"/"koibito".... "Wench" or "woman" is weird when you consider the fact that Kagome haaaated being called that early on in the series and she was so happy when he started using her name. Also we all saw how he can't keep her name out of his mouth now lmao. I just can't imagine him regressing back to calling her that post-canon. Also his canon, playful nickname for her is "bakaa" ("stupid" or "idiot") and I think that's just funnier and more in-character for him.

I think that's it? Like I said above I don't want to insult writers who use these tropes. I can't write fanfics to save my life so I'm really in no place to judge. Also fanfics are free and supposed to be self-indulgent so no one should feel like they have to stick to a characterization that is super close to canon. I just personally really like canon!inukag and prefer reading fanfics that make me go "this totally feels like it could be canon!". Also I guess that didn’t really answer your question of why I read less than I did before when these tropes have always existed.... It’s probably because I didn’t know how popular and common these tropes were when I first got into the fandom and I just got tired of them with time 😅

Like you anon sometimes I read snippets on here and I think "wow I'm really missing out!" but then it goes back to reason #1, me procrastinating instead of sitting down and reading 😭 But if you want to start reading inukag fanfics I have an old Inukag Fanfic Rec list and more recently a Inukagmor Fanfic Rec list so you can take a look at that if you want!

I hope you have a great weekend anon!!

[feyda-forever]

heya!! may i request a creepypasta matchup pls? <33

i'm female and i use she/they pronouns and i'm demisexual + panromantic. i'm 5'6 and my style is a baggy grunge style. i have a black to red ombre, shoulder-length wolf cut. my mbti is ENTP-T and my zodiac sign is virgo.

likes; mythology, psychology, hiking/adventuring, horror.

dislikes; insects, cotton candy.

hobbies; drawing, gaming, listening to music, reading, writing, sports.

traits; curious, hyper, adventurous, witty, impatient, careless, sarcastic, overdramatic (in a silly way).

info; i'm generally someone who's more on the upbeat side. i get hurt often from pulling stupid stunts and my friends find it hard to stop me from pulling the stunts. the overdramatic part kicks in when one of my friends say something long the lines of 'you can get annoying sometime you know?' (normally when im teasing them for something) and i sarcastically drop to the floor and act hurt by what they said. i love t learn new things and i'm always ready for a new challenge.

(AAA sorry if it's a bit long! take ur time answering it, and have an amazing day/night! keep up the good work <33)

Hay there :))

Thank you so much for your patience, and have an fantastic day/night as well <3

Hope you enjoy~~~

I match you with....

Kagekou

✨Dramatic couple✨ mood on/off

you guys are almost the same, i mean your similarities are more than your differences.

One of of the few thing that he adores about you is your passion, he just loves seeing you getting excited over something new you've learned.

He might be a little more patient than you are but he still has his childish personality.

In my AU kagekou is a dark empath. he feels others emotions, and by dark i mean he can and will use this against his victims tho, he's not afraid to use this fact against you as well.

He can manipulate you very easily, and it's not your fault to say 'you're to easy for him to manipulate' no it's really not. it's just that he's too damn well at making others do what he wants. kinda selfish, isn't it?

He shows affection by words, tho you're unable of understanding most of them, unless you know how to speak Japanese. But that what he does, he sometimes leaves a small note whenever he goes out for work maybe the only time he show affection in english XD

If you guys are watching a horror movie and you flinch-......well i hope you're prepared to get teased by him for the rest of the night.

You thought you were sarcastic?i mean, Have you met him? He talks impulsively and he's super blunt, so yeah he sometimes might say something that leaves deep scars into others heart including you, but if he enough for you he might buy steal something extremely expensive for you as an apology.

But after all no matter how hursh can be, he loves more than he could ever imagine.

- My boyfriend and i agreed to never go to bed angry at each other.

- We've been awake since Friday.

- WELL IF SOMEONE WOULD JUST ADMIT THEY WERE WRONG-

- I was attracted to you first.

- Well i hugged you first.

- I said i love you first.

- Kagekou getting down on one knee: i proposed first!!!

- Well i- wait!?!- WHAT!?!?!?!!

Alright i hope you enjoyed it :D and thanks for all the likes <3

[Please send me feedback if you don't mind]

[kyunsies]

hey mädch! how are you? sorry for taking so long to reply. i got a bit sick from overwork and my whole body kind of shut down? it got to the point where i couldn't eat or sleep and i ended up having panic attacks even just thinking about sleeping... like, no matter how well i was doing i just ended up feeling like i'd failed and idk i think i imploded. that big global launch i told you about reached thousands of people but it was like one of four jobs i'm also doing and with those stats idk i got myself so so pressured to keep it up (i'm really scared it'll end up failing tbh) and i think i went overboard with everything until my body decided stopping was the only way for me to stop - so i ended up having to take a week off to just kind to be healthy and alive?

thank you for being so kind as always, because i took time off i guess i ended up replying to my friends to just apologise for being so absent. i'm sure you understand how when you get overworked you can kind of end up just cutting things off and cutting everyone off and i think that happened with me a lot too? idk i think i just want to find a place that's healthier in general?

how is your job going? is it still going well? i hope you've been able to treat yourself with the money you're making as well what new albums did you buy? what shoes? i'm like you though! i get a bit obsessed with saving and i hate seeing my bank balance get too low as well.

i thought my favourite song was heaven but i'm really loving rotate more and more these days. but then i really like secrets... ah, there's no point picking haha! idk how i feel about eshy still working so much with them though. i'm so excited for their next english record cause aal was so good but... eshy? sigh.

i understand you very much - i was feeling like i deserved to be stressed all the time as well but i think that was me and that was kind of why i ended up a bit dead i think. you are so kind and aware and good and i am sure you will do amazing things. like, the fact you have doubts means that you're aware and considerate, and able to really push yourself as opposed to not thinking. one of my teachers used to say that the fact i was doubting meant that i was able to move up as opposed to just stand still so i believe it is the same for you and i am sure you will be able to do things that you want to do. i mean, you think far too well of me but you are so compassionate that i just think it's impossible for you to now succeed in your field! i had an ex who's dad was big in medicine and he used to say the best people in the field weren't like the most flashy or smart (though you are smart for sure) or academic etc but actually the best with people. so i believe in you!

omg ok that has been a whole ass essay!! ahhhhhhhh (sorry!) but <3 i hope you're super good. love you!!

- 💥

HELLO LOVE !!!!! <3 it's been a little while hasn't it ?? it's okay !!! i know u are heaps busy, i'm just happy when i'm able to finally hear from u again <3

oh god hun are u feeling better at least? u overwork urself so much ;____; you are doing so many amazing things, you will never be anything less than a fantastic person u know that right? i know i can't sit here and tell u otherwise bc i feel like we have similar tendencies, like no matter how hard we work or if we get good results we won't settle for it bc we are always looking at a flaw . but i really am proud of all that u do :( i could only dream to be as hard working at u are , i look up to ur work ethic . i hope the panic attacks have gotten a little better tho bc that's not healthy :( you are doing more than enough :( i am so happy u have decided to take a week off tho love really u deserve it after your hours and hours of hard work ;___; truly!! <3 i think everything will go well bc i know u gave it everything, with your dedication i'm sure the project will be just fine okay?

and pls i totally understand what u mean bub .... when things get a lot or even when things aren't so busy sometimes it's just hard you know? there are still ppl i need to message to make sure they know i think about them all the time but like i said last time i want to make sure that all the responses i give to ppl are genuine and not half-assed so i usually dedicate a message for them when i know i'm in a good headspace to answer ;____; but i don't think theres anything wrong with that :( as long as u eventually get back to ppl who care about u i don't think they care about how long it takes for u to get back to them as long as u do it at some point so they know u are still thinking of them :( ppl know ur busy love (hopefully) and they shouldn't look down on u or think of u badly if they understand ur situation <3

my job is going okay love they're re-organizing all of our files tho and i've just been trying to get everything all nice for them bc we're kinda getting rid of the old system and i want everything to be nice and in it's place before i leave to back to my final year of uni :') i've been making good money for me tho and yesterday i treally treated myself with some much needed nice clothes .... i might have dropped $200 hhh which isn't really much but when i buy clothes i tend to splurge on better quality stuff ,,, it's why i don't buy a lot of clothes in the first place LDKFJ bc i know it's going to be expensive whatever i buy :') i ended up only getting version 2 + 4 of the one of a kind albums !!!!!!!! i think i'll order the other ones later, i didn't think i should spend about $100 in one sitting sdlkfskd it just didn't feel right . and i did end up getting the shoes !! i got some nice white leather platform tennis shoes, i'm very happy about the purchase, i've been wearing them everyday :D we really are the same when it comes to spending money i see HHSDLFJLSKDFJ <3

also u are SO VALID about one of a kind lol in the beginning i was like omg rotate rotate rotate but like i said last time my fav is definitely heaven ;____; it is so dang comforting for me idk what it is but i have deemed it my top 3 emotional support mx songs so for me they are now amen, gravity, and heaven <3 AND OH MY GOD i agree with this so hard ...... i'm actually really excited about what mx has in store next ....... i dislike eshy with every fiber of my being but !!!!!! idk i'm always excited what mx has i really don't even care as long as they give them free range that's all i ask ;____; and i know ppl are concerned about them going overboard with working but ...... if they didn't want to do it they don't have to !!! i think they crave making music and i think the more opportunities they get the happier they are . they only get this life once u know !!! why not make the absolute most of it <3 just without eshy lol

and lastly ....... this last part got me right here ;_____; how are u so understanding ...... u know exactly what to say all the time :( i've really have been dreading this last year of uni, i don't feel like i'm ready for this . i'm scared to look for a job, i'm scared no one will want me, i'm scared that i won't be able to work int he NICU like how i want to ;____; i'm scared i'm going to screw everything up . i just want to be a good nurse, i want to finally have some confidence in what i do :( i always get so anxious about this stuff, i have so many classmates telling me just to calm down and that i worry too much so i often think something is wrong with me ..... but i worry bc i care about what i do and i want to do it correctly .. i don't know how to say this but u have given me so much comfort just reading this :( i put u in such high regard bc u work really hard and i can tell u are good at what u do for work !! it's crazy that YOU think I am something to be proud of when u are already out there in the working world, being a really damn good adult and being responsible when i'm just me being so insecure about everything i do and i'm not even graduated yet . i just blows my mind u think of me this way and that in it of itself is just ........................ u are so kind ;____; i hope u realize how good of a person u are and you are just one of those ppl i don't even hav to meet and i just naturally look up to u :( so thank u so much .... i really hope u are able to take care of yourself on this break . and remember i am here any time okay !!!!! no matter how many days pass i am always here happy to hear from u okay?? pls take care, i love u angel !!!!!!!! <3

[jeoseungsaja]

Here, have a very beautiful fox during past eras----