#I HAVE TO IMAGINE IT'S A BEAVER OR SOMETHING but i never get to see it..... new calling card ( emoji i cannot see )

[vellichorom]

I am so excited for 2023 twinkie arts,,,,i am waving a banner in support!! I have a little noise maker!! Ur art style is so lovely 🥰 ❤️🦫

BEAVER ANON YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME ALWAYS ;;

I GOT YOUR OTHER MESSAGE TOO ( as well as your lovely gift, thank you FOREVER ) & GOD do I understand how crazy life can get ( trust me, I'm going through it myself in my own ways, let's call it winter madness ) but I genuinely hope the year's off to a KILLER start for you or at the very least, gets better from here!

thank you, thank you, THANK you again for always being kind enough to check up on me & see what all I'm doing even if it's not necessarily up your alley & just being endlessly kind to me, I love you so much /platonically

[foone]

whats your favourite narnia book if you have one

Since I grew up as an autistic christian, I have many Narnia Opinions!

So, my favorite book for it's own reasons is probably The Magician's Nephew. I'm always a slut for worldbuilding and backstory and that novel is basically just only that. Some guy we know from another book goes on an adventure and in the process gets to be involved with the creation of one world and the destruction of another? kick-ass.

Best book to adapt? The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. 1988 BBC version, 1979 Cartoon version, 2005 theatrical? All good, in their own ways. The BBC version is just perfectly 80s and the costumes are amazing (because they are costumes! they did all the monsters by sticking a guy in a big costume and I love it), the cartoon version captures the fucking whimsy of a story where SANTA SHOWS UP AND GIVES EVERYONE PRESENTS and the first person to offer any serious lore about the situation is named MR BEAVER. And the 2005 film has the big battles and CGI and Tilda Swinton as the White Witch which is... so much. I love them all.

But the best book adaptation is the 1990 BBC The Silver Chair. Hands down. It's got Tom Baker's Puddleglum, Warwick Davis playing an owl, 0£ BBC budget greenscreened giants (MULTIPLE TIMES), a group of people discovering IT'S A COOKBOOK and one of them being offended by the cookbook saying they don't taste very good, the bad guy turning into a giant rubber snake. a witch trying to gaslight some humans into believing the sun is a myth, and the ultimate salvation of Eustace Scrubb: a boy who almost deserved being named that.

And since I can't not list basically everything Narnia ever made, BBC's 1989 Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is pretty good too. It's a fun "road movie", in that it's an odyssey into a fictional Mysterious Ocean of Here There Be Dragons.

Lotta hits in that one. It's also got a "collect the macguffins!" plot where they're trying to collect the Seven Lost Lords.

But yeah, it's like... the first Island gets them a lord and they get to end slavery. Next up, Dragon TF island (The dragon is Greed... but it's also just a literal fucking dragon). Next, Gold TF island. Gold, it turns out, makes you go insane in your lust for wealth, even if you're already a Prince of a whole country. The gold is Greed, but it will also just fucking kill you because you'll be turned into gold.

Then it's the island of the ugly invisible one-foot guys and it turns out they cast a spell to turn invisible so no one could see how they're ugly but they're not ugly, they just think they are? and then it goes "HEY LUCY COMPARE YOURSELF TO YOUR OLDER SISTER" and she's like "I'm ugly.... unlike her. Maybe I should use magic to STEAL HER BEAUTY?!" and it's like, wow. Is there maybe a theme here about self-esteem in your appearance? and Clive Officemax Lewis is over there going I'LL NEVER TELL.

Anyway it's got the good line about how the Wizard in charge of the ugly invisible one-footed pogo-idiots is that how he eagerly awaits the day that they can be ruled by wisdom, instead of magic. It's a fun approach to magic: it's something that is a shortcut, a crutch, and it's a poor replacement for Wisdom, even when used by "the good guys". Tell me, Mr. FedexKinkos-Lewis, do you have any opinions on the complicated relationship between Christianity and magic? oh, you do? I never would have guessed!

They also find The Island Where Dreams Come True. They don't land there, they just fish a screaming man out of the ocean who is trying to escape it. The sailors hear it's The Island Where Dreams Come True and are like "wow, I could have my own ship!" and he yells no, you fools, not dreams like your wishes and imaginations, your actual dreams come true on this island.

and everyone agrees: Get us the fuck away from this island and lets never return.

Anyway I'm not gonna talk about THE ENTIRE MOVIE/BOOK but it's got a great weirdness at the end where they reach the end of the world (which is flat. It's okay, this is Narnia, a completely different world with different physical rules than Earth), and it's a waterfall, but a waterfall going up?

It turns out Heaven is on the other side of it. They turn around, but the anthropomorphic mouse is like "ehh, I'll take that journey" and becomes the Elijah of Aslan's Country, their equivalent of heaven.

Narnia, won't you?

[supernovasilence]

Narnia headcanons: characters + how they take being sick

Peter: baby. Absolute needy baby. He's sick and he's miserable and everyone needs to feel sorry for him and take care of him. Will put on a good face in public because he knows the High King has to project strength and security but with family and friends he's just absolutely Suffering. The only time he's stoic is when he's seriously injured and doesn't want to scare his siblings (but then they're scared anyway because they can tell it's serious). Also so bad at not scratching scabs, bug bites, etc. All his siblings learn how to automatically say "Peter, don't scratch" whenever he has something they know he's going to pick at.

Peter: *absently starts picking at a scab*

Edmund, chucking a pillow at him from across the room without looking up from his book: peterdon'tscratch

Peter, indignantly: I wasn't!

Susan: the only one of the lot who acts halfway sensibly when sick. As long as she has a good supply of books and tea she will settle down and rest, though she does have a tendency of ignoring when she's starting to get sick. Running Narnia is a full time job; she can't afford to rest today, but tomorrow, or the day after, things will be quieter, and then ofc they never are. The others learn to watch when she starts getting extra snappy, because it means she's feeling bad and muscling through it, and they need to take some of her work off her hands so she can be convinced to go rest

Edmund: Thinks he'll enjoy the chance to lie around doing nothing but gets restless within a day, and then is grumpy and sulky. Like Susan, has a tendency to push himself when he starts getting sick, making it worse in the long run, except he's better at hiding it

Lucy: goes back to running around doing stuff the instant she starts feeling better, and then is worse again the next day. This happens every time and she never learns. Her friends/family make sure at least one of them sits with her when she's sick so they can make sure she stays in bed (imagine Mr. Tumnus playing her lullabies and telling her about all the magical sights and scenes they'll go see once she's better but that means resting first or the Beavers chattering away to her or Susan reading to her or Edmund telling her increasingly wild tales about what's supposedly going on in Narnia without her and occasionally physically sitting on her out of purest duty as an older sibling (Lucy: I can murder you without leaving this bed!) or Peter insisting he has to leave the busy everything that wants the High King's attention right this moment because he has an important matter to attend to and the important matter is cuddling his little sister and promising she can get out of bed soon or poor confused Caspian distracting Lucy by letting her teach him the rules of those hand-clapping games (a 30-second wikipedia dive also leads me to believe rock-paper-scissors would have made it to Britain by the 1940s))

Caspian: probably that one person who never gets sick. Even when a bug's going around and everyone else is hacking and snotty and miserable, he's fine and everyone hates him. The few times he does get sick, it's randomly in the middle of summer when no one else is sick and he hasn't gone out in the rain or done anything differently than usual and no one gets how he's sick now. Caspian is quietly melodramatic and just. resigns himself to death. Guilt trips people into taking care of him almost as much as Peter, except that he's not actually trying. Peter finds it very unfair people are sympathetic to Caspian and not to him

Eustace: whiny whiny baby and hypochondriac that convinces himself he's dying. Is lucky the internet has not been invented yet because he would end up on webMD, certain he has everything

[epithet-beloved]

Could we get some parental Percy and Ramsey? If not that’s fine

PARENTAL PERCY + RAMSEY HEADCANONS

synopsis… Percy and Ramsey as your parents

ft. Percival “Percy” King, Ramsey Murdoch, Howie Honeyglow (mentioned), Meryl Lockhart (mentioned), Sergeant Eros (mentioned)

tags… parental imagine, Percy and Ramsey’s relationship is unspecified, goofy family shenanigans, some anime campaign references but no spoilers, relationship study

word count… 702

a/n… I FINALLY GOT MY WRITING SPOONS BACK BAYBEYYYYYY. Apologies for the long hiatus, but I hope you all enjoy these imagines! ✧ 🦄

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Even if Ramsey is your actual father, he still gets treated at least a little bit like a weird uncle that the rest of the family doesn’t want you associating with.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Despite some general banter, Percy trusts Ramsey with your care quite a lot after he helped her in Redwood Run, and is always fair and never presumptuous. She has quite a few ground rules, some of them a bit odd, but never unfair.

“Uhhh….Percy?” Ramsey’s confusion was met by the policewoman’s polite smile.

“Yes? Is there something you’d like to ask me about the rules?”

A nod. “Just one thing.” Despite the fact that she couldn’t see what he was pointing to, the Australian pointed to one of the lines with his index finger. “I think ‘no crayons of debauchery’ is a bit unnecessary.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Your time between the two is divvied up almost perfectly evenly, as expected of Percy’s scheduling. Sometimes, Ramsey can even go somewhere with you as long as an officer (typically Percy) accompanies you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 On occasion, you’ll also get ‘babysat’ by Meryl or Sergeant Eros when both your parents are unavailable. Meryl can be a bit…jumpy, but typically well meaning. And Eros will let you ride shotgun if he takes you to work with him (given that the work is appropriate and something you can tag along for).

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Ramsey makes drawings of your OCs and Percy hangs them on her fridge. It’s kind of comical to see your fursona or the like hung up in her otherwise rather plain kitchen, but it’s also a sweet reminder of how she’s invested in your interests.

“I must admit, I am curious.” You perked your head up at the sound of your mother’s voice, watching as she admired one of the papers hung up with a magnet on her fridge. When she was done examining the drawing like it was some sort of specimen, she’d stand up to her full height and look your way. “Why am I drawn as a beaver in this picture?”

“Oh,” you explained between bites of food, “I always thought if you were an animal, that’s what you’d be, because you make all kinds of buildings when you’re working.”

This answer seemed to leave her pleased, almost glowing in response to your perception of her. With a hand over her heart, she spoke in a calm voice. “Ah, the beaver. Truly an industrious creature. Nature’s architect, presiding over the flowing waters, arbiting their path….”

….Well, that probably meant she was happy about the fursona you came up for her.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 I wouldn’t call Percy overprotective per se, but she is very cautious. Like if you want to ride a bike, she’ll make sure you have a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, shoulder pads….overall, just makes sure to take all possible safety measures in a situation. She’ll never stop you from doing something you want to do within reason, she’ll just make sure she’s there to keep an eye on you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You’ve also likely met Howie once or twice because he’s a good friend (slash business rival) of Percy’s. He gave you a honeyed snack once. It tasted good, but the texture is…..questionable.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Despite Percy being classic lawful good, Ramsey can actually be the more reasonable one, aka having more common sense in a situation. Sometimes, parent-child bonding is just being surrounded by wackiness while both expressing complete and utter exasperation.

“Hey dad, do you know what is happening right now at all?” You loved your mother to death, but her idea of a ‘fun activity’ could often be rather strange. Like now, where she was currently trying to enforce road safety laws to the Mario Kart CPUs. While losing.

All the man could do was shake his head and crack a grin. “Eh, just roll with it, kiddo. You get used to it after a while.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 They both give headpats, but Percy’s are a sort of stiff “pat pat” while Ramsey’s is more of a noogie that messes up your hair. You don’t have the heart to say either one is better than the other, though.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 They’re both wonderful, really. Both a little weird, but that’s part of what makes your family so great.

[ladylooch]

Hi, can you please write a timo meier imagine about reader and timo having sex and reader fakes an orgasim at night and tells some of the wags about it next day about how she really fooled him with her acting, not knowing that timo and his teammates overheard everything, his teammates laugh at him and timo gets embarrassed and upset at reader?

Eager Beaver with Timo Meier

A/N: Sometimes I write things and I’m like lmao a man would never say this, which is why we all love it 😆 Hahahaha. Poor Timo just wanted to show you a good time after he got home! Why you gotta do him like that!? Literally!

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: SMUT 18+ Content, Swearing, Angst. 

Tonight, Timo is an eager beaver. He’s been on the road for a long time, bouncing around the  East coast. He came roaring into the bedroom when he got home, flipping the covers off your body and dive bombing your breasts. He spent time kissing along the swells, but then he was dipping into your pants with quick fingers that had you reeling trying to catch up to what was happening.

“Please tell me you are close.” He moans into your hair. His thrusts are sooooo slow. And you’re nowhere near there. But his breathing is picking up. And his moans are filling the air of your bedroom. And you think the right thing to do is to perform a little bit to help him out. 

“Yeah, baby. Feels so good.” You coo into his ear, tugging his ear lobe between your teeth. His jerky hips buck into you as you heighten your breathing, moaning his name and arching your back like you’re coming. Timo finishes inside of you, melting into your body afterwards. 

“I needed that.” He confesses, running his hand along your cheek. “It was too long of a trip. I hate missing you that much.” You smile, ignoring the guilt of your conscious that pokes at you for pretending.

He’s happy. You’re happy. No harm done. 

The following day, Timo is whistling as you and him walk into the Children’s hospital visit you both agreed to. A few other team members and their significant others are joining too. He is happy after being reacquainted with you and has an extra pep in his step at seeing some young fans too. The Sharks are filming the visit for a PR video, so both you and Timo get mic’d up when you enter.

“I think this is where I leave you.” He smiles, leaning down to kiss you. The boys are going to do room visits while the girls are heading to some arts and crafts time. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me.”

“I know. Me too.” You kiss him back with a little tongue that adds a bright glint to his eyes. 

“Last night not enough, eh?” You widen your eyes and laugh off the pinch of guilt. 

“Good night, huh?” Erik’s wife, Melinda, asks you.

“Ah, yeah I’m letting him think that.” You chuckle. You and Melinda have a good relationship and it feels silly to lie to her about something so minor. 

“Little bit of a show?”

“Eager beaver didn’t know how to wait.” You joke back. 

“Babe.” Timo calls urgently. “Your mic is hot.” You cringe, looking at Melinda who covers hers in shock too. You had completely forget. 

“Sorry.” You cringe, looking at the producer who shrugs like he doesn’t care.

“We can cut it out.”

You look over at Timo who’s cheeks are red and eyebrows pulled down in agitation over his blue eyes. Can the producers cut it out of his brain too? Shit. You open your mouth to say something and he shakes his head, walking off with the rest of the group to the elevators. You close your eyes, knowing him well enough to understand he is really upset. 

The day drags on, The kids are cute and you do your best to interact with a positive attitude. But all you want is to see Timo and explain. What you’ll say, you still haven’t figured out, but it has to be something to soothe him. 

At the end of the event, he is somehow in a worse mood than before while you’re walking to the car together.

“What the fuck was that?!” He snaps at you. “I just spent two hours being annihilated by the guys for that. In front of the PR team. And young kids.” 

“I’m sorry. I forgot about the mic.” 

“I don’t..” He trails off, hands slapping against his thighs as he keeps walking to the car. “I don’t know what to say.” He completes his thought when you’re both in the car. You try to reach for his hand and he pulls away. “No, I’m really upset. I’m going to drop you at home and leave.” His tone is final. He refuses to look at you on the speedy ride home. You get out of the car and Timo roars off behind you before you’ve even gotten into the front door.

It’s agony being at home without him. You have no idea where he is. Your heart aches for what happened this morning. You feel so awful about what you did last night too. Why didn’t you tell him to slow down? Why didn’t you show him what you needed instead of pretending everything was fine? Why didn’t you remember the mic they put on you literally two minutes before that happened?

The sun has set when the garage door begins to open. You set your glass of wine on the end table and turn to look over the couch at the door. Timo comes in with take out bags for dinner and a bouquet of flowers. You hide your face in the couch cushion, feeling completely unworthy of whatever romantic display he is about to do. He puts a hand on your hair, tugging your pony tail for you to look at him.

“I was really embarrassed earlier and I didn’t know how to communicate with you about why.” You rest your chin on the back of the couch while he kneels down to be eye level with you. His thumb strokes your cheek while the rest of his fingers caress your neck. “I missed you and thought I showed you how much last night. That’s why it was so upsetting. I can take the heat from the guys. Whatever. But not giving you that experience feels awful.” 

“I’m sorry. I should have told you, but you were so eager. And it was hot. I loved so much of that but I was also half asleep when you came in and…” You close your eyes, having a hard time seeing his forehead crinkle in worry. “It wasn’t enough.” You finish, not having any other words to describe it. He nods. 

“That is fair.” He leans forward to share a tender kiss with you. “Let’s make a deal to not do that again.”

“Never.” You agree, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He lifts you over the back of the couch, standing with you in his arms. Your ankles hook together at his lower back. The hug lasts for awhile, softly stroking each other’s back, leaning heads together and sharing a few more smooches. “I love you.” You say sweetly. He smiles, the corners of his eye crinkling in joy. 

“I love you too.” He murmurs. “Come see what I got us for dinner.” 

[lepurcinus]

In more Xf ideas. Don't you find it interesting to handle a concept where animals think of/remember/miss an extinct animal? Whether it went extinct recently or in more ancient times.

And not in that sense where suddenly a wolf says "ah yes mammoths existed a long time ago but humans made them extinct bad humans". But in a context where they REALLY are confused or don't have a clear idea about that animal or why it disappeared.

Using Watership Down as an example (because it never fails). In the stories the rabbits tell throughout the book we are told about a character named King Darzin and his people, of which we are never told or given a clear idea about what species of animal they are. In these stories we see that they have a somewhat antagonistic relationship with the rabbits and get into trouble with them a couple of times.

The last time we are told of these we are told that their people were chased by the Owsla of the black rabbit and that they disappeared, causing the rabbits to eventually forget what animals they were or what they looked like.

Well, far from imagining what animal they would be. In a Reddit AMA Richard Adams said he imagined King Darzin's people as a type of beaver. Once you think about it you form the puzzle.

By the time Watership Down was written and it happens. Beavers (which were a native species in the UK) had been extinct for centuries, hunted to their end by humans.

In that sense, beavers in ancient times coexisted with rabbits and probably competed with them for terrain, food, etc. (I'm not sure how true this is in reality but in the WD universe it seems to be). Eventually the beavers went extinct, leaving the rabbits to wonder what happened to them having simply disappeared without a trace. The humans made them extinct but the rabbits have no idea about it nor should they know, so they attributed such an act to Inle and the beavers remained in their memory in the form of stories that would eventually be lost in detail until the version we heard.

And with that I thought of for example:

A story involving pronghorn, these animals evolved to have great speed and this was because in a past time they coexisted with the American Cheetah, an animal that will eventually become extinct leaving the pronghorn with an adaptation for a predator that no longer exists.

So what if the pronghorn have stored in story form the memory of the American cheetah? They don't remember it for exactly what animal it was. But if they do remember that terrible predator that made their ancestors acquire great speed, they may even attribute to it a mystical status as a kind of divine beast or monster along with that something that gave them their "gift."

Think of that potential. It could also serve for more recently existing species such as those on islands.

[pitviperofdoom]

So I decided a little while ago to do a full series reread of Redwall. I’m still early in it, I just finished Redwall and started Mossflower, and you know what? Might as well express my thoughts as I go. Blacklist “redwall reread” if you don’t want to see this, there WILL be spoilers.

So! Thoughts, on reflection, about Redwall:

Something I forgot along the way is just how competent Matthias is right from the start. Granted he lives in a society that hasn’t seen war in several generations so it’s not like he has a lot of competition, but he still goes from Bumbling Novice Who Doesn’t Quite Fit In to a martial and tactical powerhouse alongside Constance, the one who closed negotiations by picking up an entire banquet table and throwing it.

And not only that, people listen to him! As soon as negotiations break down, Matthias jumps in with a plan and all his elders listen. I watched the animated series growing up, which was... not super great, quality wise, but enjoyable enough for a kid. And one of the changes the show made was playing up Matthias’s childishness and inexperience. In the adaptation, when everyone’s panicking about the legendary warlord marching on the abbey, Matthias jumps in with this rallying speech about how they’ll fight back, and the abbot scolds him for it. “No more talk of fighting,” when Cluny the Scourge is almost at their doorstep. In the original book?

“Do? I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We’ll be ready.” The Abbot could not help shaking his head in admiration. It seemed that young Matthias had hidden depths. “Why, thank you, Matthias,” he said. “I could not have put it better myself. That’s exactly what we will do. We’ll be ready!”

(Years later, a certain wizard in a certain film adaptation would ask a question calmly.)

This book has a beaver in it. And a horse. And the mention of a dog. And Portugal.

Speaking of which, one of the many things that I think sets this book apart from the rest is that it feels like Jacques is making an attempt to write a book that takes place in a smaller Mouse World that exists within a larger world. The abbey is mouse-sized, of course, but an entire army of rats rides in on a single horse-drawn hay cart. Matthias climbs hay bales in a barn and falls into a cat’s mouth. Again, Portugal exists.

Idk what my point is, it just goes to show that BJ really was gradually building this world as he wrote it. I didn’t obsess so much over canon continuity, I just came up with my own explanations for things.

Ah, phonetic accents. I have mixed feelings about phonetic accents these days. I know logically that it’s better to avoid them, but like. I read the moles’ dialogue and try to imagine what it would look like without every word misspelled to exaggerate the dialect, and I just. Couldn’t visualize it. Moles just aren’t moles if you aren’t rereading their lines two or three times to parse what they’re saying. (Excepting Egburt the Scholar, of course, but I won’t see him for several books.)

I think my lifelong obsession with ferrets can be traced back to Killconey. I just. I know he’s a villain but I just love this guy so much. He’s adorable, he’s got a solid head on his shoulders, and he never tries to screw over his comrades, murder his comrades, bully his comrades, or flat-out lie to Cluny to get ahead, like SOME people, Cheesethief. RIP Killconey you were a good henchman and Cluny shouldn’t have thrown you at Matthias to get chopped in half.

Sela named her son Chickenhound no wonder he didn’t mourn her. Of course, his idea of a better name was “Mousedeath” so it’s not like he had room to judge.

Portugal????

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

(1) (2)

"Is that a dragon? That's a dragon! It's a dragon! You're a dragon!"

Hiccup and Toothless share a look. When facing a thousand pound, flying, fire-breathing lizard, people tend to back away at best, and at worst, they start swinging - axes, clubs, fists. In general, there's a lot of panic, sometimes screaming, involved. Hiccup was prepared for that, not whatever Jack's doing.

Clearly, if their guest was healthier - more capable of moving without risk of death, he would be running around like a madman. But, thankfully for Hiccup's sanity, Jack can barely stand, staying on his feet through sheer stubborn will.

But he laughs freely and loudly as a smile lights up his whole face. Hiccup could almost - almost - forget the corpse-like tinge of Jack's skin, the sunken shadows on his cheeks, or the bruise-like marks beneath his eyes.

"Uh yeah... So... Meet Toothless... He's a dragon, alright." Hiccup frowns. "What? Have you never seen a dragon before?"

"Of course not!" Jack replies, not taking his eyes off Toothless. "Dragons don't exist where I'm from. We only have stories, you know, myths and legends." He turns to Hiccup. "You're the weird one here."

"Me?"

"Yeah! You see dragons everyday and you're just so boring about it."

"Gee, thanks."

"Oh not like that! I was just - I don't know. I'm over here losing my mind and you're just standing there, looking at me funny."

Hiccup tries to imagine a life where dragons had not been part of his existence since day one. He nearly gets a headache for his efforts. A life - a world without dragons? What? There's no way. That's just impossible.

"Aaaand now you just look constipated."

Hiccup rolls his eyes. "So what do you have over in the New World?"

"Horses? Bears? Sheep? Beavers?"

"What's a beaver?"

"It's kinda like a giant rat - big front teeth and a wide flat tail. They build their houses on rivers. You can make good money from their fur."

"Huh."

"Right? Totally not as cool as dragons."

"You know, most people would be afraid of dragons. You're over here acting like Snoggletog came early."

"What's Snoggletog?"

"What's - Okay, this is too much. You're breaking my brain over here."

Jack cackles, which quickly turns into hacking coughs that shake his whole body.

Hiccup frowns. "I think that's enough excitement for one day."

"What? No! We just got started! I'm literally four steps from the front door!" Jack wheezes out, gesturing at the hut sitting right at his back.

It's only been two days since Jack woke up and introduced himself. This was not nearly enough time for a full recovery, according to Gothi. But after a couple hours of sitting around, watching water boil, the guy was literally climbing up the walls. Once, Hiccup had to catch him because Jack almost fell out the window. All things considered, that was probably an escape attempt... Or maybe Jack had really intense cabin fever. If Hiccup had to spend two whole days with only Gothi for company, he would also throw himself out the window.

Since Jack was driving himself crazy (which drove Gothi crazy), Hiccup took pity on him (on them both), and offered to show him around Berk. Of course, that meant Jack would get to see all the dragons roaming around. There was a good chance that Jack would keel over at the sight of so many dragons in one place. So, not taking any risks, Hiccup figured that a quiet, one on one introduction would help their guest get... used to the way they do things around here.

Given the way Jack got so excited from meeting Toothless, Hiccup can pat himself on the back for a job well done. He can also smack himself for not thinking about the whole "Jack can barely move" problem. How's the guy supposed to see Berk if he can't even walk ten steps without collapsing? Didn't think about that, did ya Hiccup?

Hiccup and Toothless share another look. If dragons could shrug, Toothless would have done so at that exact moment. He also would have said something like, "Hey, this guy's your problem." Lazy lizard.

Sighing, Hiccup runs a hand through his hair, thinking over his options. Maybe if he...

"If we strap you to the saddle, we can show you Berk from the sky."

Jack's eyes nearly pop out of his skull. "The sky? What? You're gonna let me ride Toothless? We're gonna fly?!"

Hearing him say so, Hiccup begins to question his idea. The face that Toothless makes doesn't help. But Jack is vibrating with excitement now, his grin curling from ear to ear. Hiccup doesn't have the heart to deny him.

"Yeaaa... But just a short flight... If you die on my watch, Gothi can and will curse me."

"Fair. But I'm not gonna die." Jack rolls his eyes.

Hiccup snorts. "Well, I suppose there's really only one way to find out."

It takes some work. Hiccup asked Gothi for some spare leather, which he quickly wove into a rudimentary belt. Then he handed Jack some of his extra flight gear (kept on hand in case something breaks midair), and walked him through adjusting it for his size. Jack was vaguely annoyed, almost sulking, when he had to tighten the straps several notches. Hiccup made things worse by grinning at the size difference. After a lifetime of being the village toothpick, it's sooo nice to be bigger than someone for once.

Finally, it was the moment of truth. Hiccup was fairly confident that Toothless would allow Jack a seat on his back. But as they say, "it's never wise to count your fish before coming to shore".

With Jack watching closely, Hiccup steps forward, holding out his hand. "Just let him come to you."

Taking his cue, Toothless bumps his snout against Hiccup's palm, exactly the way he did all those years ago.

"See?" Hiccup glances at Jack as he gently pets Toothless. "As long as you're careful and slow..."

Jack meets his gaze and nods slowly. He copies Hiccup, lifting a hand up and letting it hang in the air. Unlike when Hiccup first tried this, Jack doesn't look away. Toothless stares right back. For what feels like forever, neither make a move and Hiccup starts to think that they'll never move again. Then Toothless decides to break their little staring contest, but he doesn't press his snout to Jack's hand. No, this weirdo of a lizard decides to lick Jack's palm. Their equally weird guest outright cackles with glee. Toothless appears very pleased with himself.

Hiccup shakes his head, clapping his hands. "Alright, alright. We're all good buddies now, great! Let's not waste anymore daylight."

Jack whoops and scrambles over to the saddle. After some awkward wiggling and squirming, it becomes pretty clear that Jack has never sat on a saddle in his whole life. Toothless keeps trying to look behind him, wondering what this strange new human was doing on his back.

"Need some help?" Hiccup asks, stifling a smile.

"Nah! I'm good!" Jack says cheerfully, with his booted feet planted on the saddle, and nowhere near the stirrups.

Hiccup crosses his arms. "I'm sorry to say that you've got it all wrong."

Jack takes in his crouched position. "What? No! Can't be!"

There's even odds that this guy is just messing with him. But Hiccup finds himself laughing along. It was just a bit of harmless fun.

"Right well, your feet are supposed to go here. Let me-" Hiccup reaches over to take hold of Jack's ankle.

He didn't mean anything by it. He was just going to place Jack's foot into the stirrup. But as soon as Hiccup's fingers brush against Jack's ankle, the guy flinches hard and launches himself off the saddle. Toothless lets out a loud squawk, echoed by Hiccup, as they watch Jack tumble down - head first - towards the ground.

Luckily, Toothless is not very tall so falling off his back won't cause permanent damage. But it would still hurt. From the hard thump followed by a breathless groan, it sure sounds like it hurts.

"Jack!" Hiccup hurries over.

"I'm fine! I'm fine! Just a little..." Jack waves a hand. "You... I wasn't expecting the..."

The poor guy looks shaken, breathing heavily and trembling all over. All that from one tiny touch? Hiccup frowns.

"Sorry, I didn't - I was - I should have warned you."

"No, no, no! You're good!" Jack folds his brow, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. "It really wasn't a big deal."

"Coulda fooled me..." Hiccup murmurs under his breath. "Can you - Are you hurt?"

"Just my dignity, but who needs that, right?" Jack pushes himself up and dusts himself off.

Hiccup snorts. "I wouldn't know. I never had that myself."

Jack grins, already looking a lot steadier. Sure, he's breathing a little funny, but he's less twitchy - less ready to run. Before Hiccup could say anything more, Jack's already back by Toothless, swinging himself onto the saddle, no more messing around. But the stirrups still give him trouble and after a few failed tries, he lets out a frustrated grunt and kicks off his boots.

"There! Much better!"

Hiccup blinks. "Huh? Did those not fit?"

"Nope, those fit fine. I just don't like boots."

"Do you not wear boots in the New World?"

"Can we just go already? The sun's gonna set!"

"We're not going anywhere until you put the boots back on. It's even colder up in the air. You could get frostbite!"

Jack snorts. "Please! I'm not even cold right now! And we're only gonna be up there for what? Five minutes? Ten? I'm not gonna lose my toes after ten minutes of windchill!"

Hiccup clenches his jaw before breathing out a heavy sigh. He's spent a lifetime with hardheaded people. He knows a lost argument when he sees one. "Fine, fine. What's a few toes in the grand scheme of things?"

"That's the spirit!"

Hiccup gives Toothless a tired look. Toothless has the audacity to laugh at him. Thanks, bud. Real supportive. Grabbing hold of the saddle, Hiccup hops on as easy as one, two, three. He settles himself behind Jack, and again, the contact causes Jack to flinch. The reaction is more muted this time, undoubtedly due to the guy's admirable restraint. Yet Hiccup can pick out the way Jack draws his shoulders up, his arms pressing tight against his torso, and his hands holding onto the harness with a white-knuckled grip. Every part of him is wound up tighter than a trebuchet about to fire.

"We good?" Hiccup asks.

"Yeah," Jack squeaks out.

Taking pity on the guy, Hiccup ignores the way Jack sounded like mouse just then. "Alright, let's get you strapped in."

Somehow, Jack tenses even more but he doesn't complain as Hiccup winds the belt around them both. Then Hiccup leans forward, pressing his front to Jack's back, as he grabs onto the harness. Close together like this, Hiccup could feel Jack's ribs stretch and shrink - faster and shorter with every breath.

"Everything ok-"

"Just. Fly."

Thor save Hiccup from stupidly stubborn guys. He wasn't kidding about Gothi cursing him.

"Alright. You heard the man, Toothless."

Letting out a warbling growl, the Night Fury stretches out his wings and with a click from Hiccup's prosthetic, they leap into the air.

Jack stops breathing entirely. He stops for a single, sticky second - long enough for Hiccup to start panicking. But then Toothless levels out, prompting Hiccup to adjust his tail, and just like that, they were flying.

And Jack... Jack laughs - a noisy, clumsy, heavy sound as if he needs his whole body to laugh. Hiccup has never heard anything more joyous. Toothless must share his opinion because the dragon lets out an echoing roar before barrel-rolling across the air. Jack's laughter transforms into a throaty shriek as he lets go of the harness, opening his arms wide like he's trying to embrace the sky itself.

Hiccup thanks every god he can name that he had the foresight to strap this guy onto the saddle. Jack would have slid right off from that stunt.

"Are you crazy?!" Hiccup yells, tugging hard on the harness. "Toothless, quit it! Jack, put your hands back down!"

Toothless gets the message because he straightens out neatly. Hiccup knows that the dragon is rolling his eyes. Just for that, he is sooo not getting fresh chicken tonight.

Jack breathes out a throaty chuckle before placing his hands right back on the harness. "Man, that was fun. You get to do that every day?"

It's hard to believe this was the same scared-stiff guy from earlier. From his position, Hiccup can't quite see Jack's face but he could see a world of difference in the looseness of Jack's limbs and the soft curve of his back. Somehow, Jack seems more at ease, more at peace in mid-air than he ever did on the ground.

"Yeah... I'm pretty sure Toothless would bite my head off if I didn't take him flying at least once a day. Twice if we have time."

"Wow..."

Toothless takes them up higher and further out into the ocean until the whole island could be seen. Then, as if greeting them personally, a strong Northern wind whistles by, parting the clouds and letting the sun shine a spotlight onto the busy, messy, crazy village below. From this height, Hiccup could see the sturdy perches placed by each home, the forever full feeding stations, and the comfy, customized stables. He could watch a cacophony of colored scales wing around the vikings as they went about their day - fishing, fighting, and even frolicking when they thought no one was looking.

"Oh," Jack whispers - soft and gentle and weightless with wonder.

Hiccup allows himself to smile proudly. No one could say that they had it easy these last few years, but they made it here somehow - a long way from where they started.

"Welcome to Berk."

[verdemoun]

would any of the people who didnt timewarp (mary-beth, tilly, swanson, pearson, etc) know that the others timewarped?

nope. y'know maybe it hurts, maybe they would have liked to know they were okay, but you know what? they mourned. they ached. they learned that their whole lives could change in one second: one short walk in a pretty town, one lone horse walking into shady belle, one frantic packing of camp in the middle of the night after a failed bank robbery and one decision to leave everything they knew by a cave in beaver hollow. and they healed.

they learned not to let the pain leave them broken, sure, it destroyed them, some days it felt like nothing would be okay again and they were more ghosts than people, but they learned how to let grief consume them and know things would seem okay again one day. and it was. they found better than okay - they found a new happy. because they mourned, they regretted, they forgave themselves and let themselves look for something better than dying for dutch and they found it. mary-beth wrote her novels, tilly found a new family she would never lose again, swanson re-found his faith, and pearson had his store and his own family. on days it needed to hurt, they let themselves hurt, but they learned to accept the new happiness they found after the gang. and that was more important than knowing the others were okay too

i lied mary-beth knows. well, she suspects. one night, when she was old, far older than any of them got to be, she thought she heard voices in her house. voices she knew but hadn't heard in so long she wasn't sure it was possible to recognize them. she had imagined them so many times, actually hearing their voices sounded strange

in her nightgown, with a lantern in hand - it might have been the 50s, but she always considered herself a romantic with her candle lantern on her beside table - and followed voices through her house. squabbling. she could hear two unmistakable voices squabbling

she heard wind coming through the window in her study that she definitely closed. in the dim light of a candle lantern, she saw lenny, and sean, in clothing she had never seen before, hissing at each other as lenny asked for the umpteenth time if sean was sure that's where the photograph was sitting. sean rolled his eyes and adjusted it another fraction to sit perfectly in a space in the dust that had suddenly appeared on her desk

lenny saw her, mouth hanging open, shaking sean frantically with a noticeable tremble in his hand. sean's eyes went wide, colour draining so completely from his face even his hair looked pale. and mary-beth smiled, laughing softly to herself as the image of them suddenly faded from her study. the dust was gone from her desk. the window was closed, as she'd left it. but she knew wherever they were, they were okay - and clearly death had not changed them in the slightest.

sean and lenny refuse to discuss what they saw the night they broke into shady belle to return a photo sean had stolen for kieran, but if they ever did discuss it they refuse to tell anyone. they do go quiet on later tours when the guide remarks some day shady belle is haunted.

especially as she gets older in her beautiful old house, mary-beth gets funny feelings she isn't alone. sometimes she thinks she sees hosea with a beautiful woman she can only imagine is his long-dead wife bessie in his arms, walking the hallways and marveling at the fine crown molding she had put in. sometimes she thinks she sees arthur standing at the bookshelf, with his typical pretending he's not interested stare as his fingers run over the hardcover spines. sometimes she looks out the window and swears she can see kieran sitting in the garden, and she knows deep down they're happy

[everygame]

Alter Ego (Apple Macintosh)

Developed/Published by: Peter J. Favaro / Activision Released: 27/04/1986 Completed: 21/11/2023 Completion: Died of old age in my bed, single, but a millionaire. Little Richard’s “Thinkin’ About My Mother” was playing on the radio as I played. “I swear I'm gonna love her… Yes, until the day I die.”

Alter Ego is a dated, sexist mess that basically doesn’t work at all.

I am so fond of it.

One of those games I found in my earliest forays on the internet, digging around for “abandonware” Alter Ego was immediately interesting to my teenage self–a game that let you live an entire life! Sure, it did it in a text-only, choose-your-own-adventure style, but I was already fiddling around with Infocom games and it wasn’t that many years out from owning an Amstrad CPC; the limitations had no effect upon the promise I imagined.

The interesting thing about when I played it then is that I remember playing it into Young Adulthood and never further. Until now I couldn’t remember why. Did I get bored? Was I overwhelmed with options?

Well, here’s a hint. Alter Ego was designed in 1986 by Peter J. Favaro, a psychologist who at the time was just 28 years old (which I am forced to admit is younger than I am now.) It becomes very quickly clear that past a certain point he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.

But let’s take a step back here and discuss how Alter Ego actually works. Really it’s one of the earliest examples of a hypertext game (it actually predates Hypercard, if you can believe it.) You progress through seven stages of life from infancy to old age, and in each, you progress through a kind of… card map? choosing cards which each contain a vignette where you have to make a few decisions–if you’re a toddler, do you share your toys? If you’re a teenager, do you act sulky to your parents when they won’t let you do what you want? And then have that effect your stats and have time pass as a result.

As the game progresses, it adds several cards that you can flip over whenever you feel like it. A card that lets you try and meet people, or have experiences with your current partner, for example. A card that lets you make big purchases that you might have to pay off with a loan. 

The goal in Alter Ego is, simply, to… see what happens, and it’s here that the game’s highest pleasures and greatest mistakes are found. I decided to play this via a classic Mac emulator (as I believe that Favaro created this on a Mac) and although I originally played this on PC, the convergence of playing this via a system that I haven’t touched since I was at high school made the early sequences of this game a brush with nostalgia I haven’t felt before. The game is at its highest when you get to in some ways relive, but not quite, the past.

Like most people who play this (at least the first time) I chose to play it making the kind of decision I would make, as best I could, at the time I’d make them, and each experience was a moment of–oh, remember when something like this happened? 

It’s not perfect. Designed in 1986 by a young, white American, there’s this strange sense of re-living your life by way of “Leave It To Beaver” even if, like me, you only know the reference second or third hand. Personally I looked at it as asking: what if I’d gone to an American high school and lived my John Hughes dreams? The game was developed in the same era, I watched The Breakfast Club as a teenager around the same time I was messing around with abandonware and using classic Macs at school... it all intertwines.

And really, if the game had stayed there, I think it could have worked. A kind of… growing up simulator. Add lots of different vignettes, not all which play every time, and then the player plays until they leave college and the game goes “congratulations! You became a CORN FARMER. You married ONE wife and had SIX children. Your dog is called JEFF.”

Sadly, it does not do that, and it becomes pretty clear that Favaro didn’t really have a clear plan or concept for how adulthood was going to work. Childhood and Adolescence, after all, are fairly clear cut. You have to go to school, your parents take care of most other responsibilities. From a western, middle-class perspective, you’ll mostly have the same kind of experiences. As an adult however, all kinds of things can happen at all stages of life. 

It goes wrong immediately. You can go to college, but there’s no clear pay-off, you never seem to graduate! Jobs are just… something you have. Purchases and money quickly turn out to be totally meaningless (there may be a fail-state if you run out of money with huge debts, but I didn’t see it.)

The problem is that Favaro is forced to flatten everything into the most generic experiences once he reaches adulthood as the biggest decisions we make in our lives–who to partner with, our careers–cannot really interact with the canned vignettes of the main path. The box art is like “become a baseball player or a nun!” but even if you could the actual experience is “what if you were a white collar worker in the 1980s” as your nun deals with getting chewed out by their boss and refused a promotion or whatever.

In many ways it’s simply a fault of coming so early. A modern game in even just Twine can far more easily modify its text based on the information you’ve given it, and more easily offer events that either relate to your stats and relationships. In many other ways, it’s the fault of the culture that Favaro lived in and which, sadly, he could not see beyond. I played the “Male” version, and attitudes to women are beyond poor; many later vignettes are basically Penthouse letters (actually, another American reference I only know second hand, I swear) and one vignette featuring your discovery that a friend is gay is… er… not good.

It’s made even weirder by how… judgemental the game’s “narrator” (read: Favaro) is when it comments on your decisions. He definitely has an idea how you should be living your life, and hell mend you for not following it.

All that said, however, there’s still some amusement and possibly revealing moments to be had in the later stages of the game. I for one was surprised by my complete inability to maintain a steady relationship and how borderline panicked I got as I aged about it! It seems like it might be fairly random, which makes how unforgiving it is almost hilarious: I had been living with a woman for years, we’d invested in a company and became millionaires, at least according to one vignette I got on amazing with her son from another marriage… I popped the question and she said no because I was “untrustworthy.” Relationship over.

I probably should have indulged less in those Penthouse letters vignettes… It was… research. For this article. Yeah. Not just because playing this made me feel like a teenager again and the teenager I was would have made all those decisions.

Anyway. As much as Alter Ego doesn’t work, what stands out about it is what stands out about, say, an Infocom game. The text-based nature of it draws you in as deeply as a book, and it simply engages the imagination to make the game something more than it is. I can see Floyd in Planetfall, and I can see my weird picket-fences middle-America alternate life here. For weaving that sort of magic, it does deserve some respect. Just don’t take it too seriously.

Will I ever play it again? As I expressed above, I’ve only ever played the Male version, and the Female version is supposed to have a series of bug-fixes and less instant-death situations, but far, far more sexism. I might take a look at it, but even if I don’t I can imagine noodling on this again, at least as a mirror into memory.

Final Thought: Worth noting that you don’t have to take my word on this game, it can easily be played in-browser, which is probably fine if you don’t have a dense, multi-layered nostalgia attached to it. Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up a digital copy of exp. 2600, a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[dinosaurnostalgia]

The Crazy Pachy Lady

If someone asked me what my favourite dinosaur is (...and not what my favourite prehistoric animal is, therefore forcing me to choose from just Dinosauria...), I'd have to say it's probably Pachycephalosaurus.

After taking the group shot I realized I had forgotten to include my De Agostini Pachy. She's made of such a cheap and flimsy rubber that she can't stand on her own.

Pachys weren't that popular among dino toy producers when I was a kid. Well, there were many dinosaurs that I saw plenty of pics of in my dinosaur books but saw in toy form rarely. Crested hadrosaurs (with the exception of Paras that you did see occasionally). Orhithomimids. Small noodly carnivores like Compys. And Pachys. I've always loved their dragon-like skulls, there's just something majestic about them and I find them more interesting than the Big Four that you see most often in dino toys (the Big Four being large carnivores, sauropods, Trikes and Stegos). It wasn't until the Jurassic Park sequel introduced Pachys in Lost World, that Pachy toys started to become more popular.

These two were the only Pachy toys I had as a kid. I was very disappointed with the green one, because it looked nothing like the pictures in my books, it's bald head has barely any crown of spikes around it and in general, it looked pretty awful. But for the longest time it was the only Pachy in my toy box. Then one christmas I received the brown toy on the left. I call her Patchouli.

Dino Riders were an big part of my childhood and I will be eventually writing more about them, both about the toy line and the series. But for now, I want to talk about Patchouli. I loved Dino Rider toys, with their beautiful glass eyes the animals looked more lifelike and less "monstrous" than many of the dinosaur toys in my toy box. The second series of toys introduced the Pachy and I wished it for christmas. I have forgotten about many toys I received as gifts but few stand out and I remember so vividly teh moment of opening the box with Patchouli and seeing her through the clear plastic window of her packaging.

Patchouli remains to this day my favourite Pachy toy. I love her colours, her noble-looking golden eyes, her beautiful stubby horns, I love how much she resembles the illustrations in my childhood books, the pictures that I admired but could never have in toy form until that christmas. I also like that unlike many newer Pachy toys, her feet are pretty small and she still balances just fine even when lowered into a headbutting pose. There are way too many new Pachy toys out there with enormous clown feet just to make them stand. The only thing that seems a bit odd about Patchouli is her tail, which is flat like a beaver's. I think it must be designed so in order to balance the weight so that she can stand in balance even when she's wearing her armor.

Now, after talking about the most beautiful Pachy toy I own, I must also talk about the ugliest one.

Demon Pachy will eat your soul!

I call her Glasya-Labolas, after my favourite Goetic demon. I don't usually buy large dino toys, I prefer the smaller ones that are easier to scale with one another and store. But when I saw Glasya-Labolas for sale on eBay, I had to get her.

Who designed this thing? Why are her eyes blood-red? Why is her throat covered in blood? Why does she remind my wife of E.T.? I don't know. But in all of her hideousness I can't help but like her. I imagine my Pachy herd summoning this demonic Pachy in the dark of the night, praying for protection against carnivores.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

So I have not seen Human Resources nor Big Mouth, could you explain the creatures to me?

Sure! So, all of these creatures basically manage people in their everyday life, and in Big Mouth we focus on the human’s sides of things while in Human Resources, we see the creatures in their everyday life.

There are the hormone monsters, which are pretty much monsters that are horny 24/7. They are out for simply making people touch themselves or have sex with each other - in Big Mouth, we follow a bunch of middle school students going through puberty and the hormone monsters help them navigate that with everything that comes with it.

Then there’s love bugs, which basically are these… well, insects that just are all for love and romance. They want romantic gestures, they love the ideal love stories and just sees the world as a romcom. But they are not just for romantic love, platonic love too, and love for objects. There was also one instance where the love a person felt was for his cat and the assigned love bug was there for that reason. However, love bugs can at any point turn into

hate worms, which is worms that just run on hate. As you can imagine, if you for example get assigned a lovebug and they turn into a hateworm, you’re fucked. At the same time, if you get assigned a hateworm at a hateful time in your life, your life will be more loveful if they turn into a lovebug. Both love bugs and hate worms have their positive sides and negative sides. Love bugs for example can have too much optimism sometimes, even if they always want to make your life positive, while hate worms are careless and wants you to get rid of everyone, but they can also help you get through some tough situations.

There’s the anxiety mosquito that I legit wonder is just one and the same mosquito multiplying. Basically self explanatory. Is there to make you anxious asf

The shame wizards are there to give you shame for your actions. Basically is there to make you feel bad, though at the same time can help you from going too far in some situations.

Logic rocks are there to basically talk sense into people. However, they can sometimes be stiff and can crash with other creatures, particularly lovebugs and hormone monsters who act on feelings, while logic rocks act on thinking and, well, logic.

Ambition gremlins help you to achieve your goals in life. They make you work hard, you have to earn it. They help everyone from business people to suceed in their careers, to helping teenagers choose the right college for their futures, and in one instance, an ambition gremlin helped a 4 year old nonverbal child to communicate that he really wanted a toy truck (with the help with hope… oh, speaking of!)

Hope is… well this creature that gives hope to people. She’s very cool, she has discoballs as boobs.

Depression kitties are these violet cats that manage you under depression. They can be milder, and they can be quite heavy. One cat for example sits on top of you so that you can’t get out of bed. Depression can also grow and shrink depending on the human’s actions and their overall mental health.

Addiction angels are there when you have an addiction to something. This ofc includes drugs, but the only person we’ve seen been addicted has been a dude who was addicted to pop tarts.

Need demons are demons that exaggerate human people’s needs and goes on rampages until the needs are fullfilled. We’ve seen this creature assigned to a newborn baby, a pregnant woman and, while we never saw him in action then, we also saw a need demon assigned to the nonverbal 4 year old, which makes sense. Also, with the pregnant woman, once she gave birth to her baby, her need demon shrinks to a little straw basically, because as a new mother she has to put her own needs at the side to fullfill the needs of her baby.

Then there’s the grief sweater, that’s a sweater that helps you during grief. Keith from Grief is awesome.

There’s also creatures mentioned that we never see, like a bladder beaver and a self harm walrus (very glad they have not included the latter).

There’s also the DNApe that is just this ape explaining DNA in humans. I am not sure about his function other than that. There was also an ambition armadillo they showed, but I have not seen them since. Idk if they replaced it with an ambition gremlin or if it was just an armadillo that also was working in ambition. Oh, and there’s this frog in big mouth that goes around showing gratitude, so that’s another creature.

I’ve definitely forgotten a creature lol. But that’s a majority of them.

[hearthero456xl65]

Psychonauts Redo Mission Oneshot #7

After the party and Lizzie gets her leg healed. The Junior Psychonauts retake Truman Zanottos test trial. Raz takes a deep breath before placing his goggles over his eyes and entering Truman's mind. Raz looks around and in the distance sees a huge compound filled to the brim with censors of all kinds.

Lizzie: *Telepathically speaking* Ok Poots we need you to give us an opening just like last time ok.

Raz: *Telepathically speaking* No problem and also it's agent aquato. Get it right Liz.

Norma:*Telepathically speaking* Wow someone's snappy today. It's just a training course.

Raz begins running towards the compound and dives under a bush. Raz uses his lev ball to jump through a window and sneaks past a few censors. Raz runs down a hall and uses telekinesis to rip a door off the wall. Raz then runs into the stairwell and begins running up them. Eventually, Raz starts jumping up them and swinging up the sidebars. Once Raz makes it to the top he uses pyrokinesis to burn the door down. Once the walks through the flames he sees multiple Doughts launching themselves toward him. Raz burns right through them and then reaches the main room at the end of the hall. He kicks that door open and then opens the window. Sam Uses a giant eagle to soar through the window.

Sam: Whoah calm down Nigel.

Raz: I'm still confused about how you're able to summon animals through astral projection. Are you specifically bonding with psychic animals?

Sam: Well I do have a huge amount of animal friends but I can only bring the psychic ones in a mind. Speaking of Psychic ones. Sam contacts more eagles to fly everyone else in the room.

Norma: Well damn that was fast Razzy.

Raz: Yeah also when I got up here I saw some doughts outside the room. I think Truman may have done something different this time.

Gisu: Of course, he changed things up. We just need to figure out what.

Morris: Um I think I figured it out. *Pops open the safe in the back of the room* There's nothing here.

Norma: Welp I guess that's something new. But whats.......

The entire building starts rumbling. As everyone falls over losing their footing. The roof of the building is torn off as the tree lava monster from before tries shaking the agents out.

Raz: GISU!!! MORRIS!!! Grab everyone else and float them down now. Lizzie When you hit the ground FREEZE IT.

The Agents float down and Lizzie uses her Cryokinesis to freeze the ground. Causing the monster to have the bottom of it solidified.

Raz: SAM do you know any psychic beavers or squirrels?

Sam: I see where you're going with this.

A bunch of Beavers and Squirrels run up the bark and tear off the legs of the monster.

Raz: Adam can you drag that thing down here.

Adam: Norma, Gisu can you give me a hand.

Adam Throws his yoyo around the neck of the creature and Gisu and Norma pull the thing down by the neck. Raz then throws some confusion grenades at the creature's head and it begins to freak out.

Raz: Alright it's showtime.

Raz uses levitation to jump on the neck of the beast as he slams down on it. Breaking off the beast's head.

Raz: BOOM BABY.

The Creature dissipates as everyone stands triumphantly. Once the agents leave Truman's mind he looks genuinely surprised.

Truman: Wow I didn't expect you all to pull together so easily. That has to be a record. Razputin I never expected you to be the one to take the lead. As someone so young you've made more progress than I could ever possibly imagine. As for the rest of you, I can't believe how much you've all gained from such a small amount of time. Congratulations. You've passed my exam and I'll be partnering, you all up and sending you on your first missions within the month. Enjoy your time. to prepare because I'll have perfect assignments for all of you.

[leavesfromthesametree]

9. Jonni Price Visitor experience manager, RSPB Conwy Photographed by Matt Horwood

Tell us something about yourself that nobody else knows. Um. I can lick my elbow? Which most people think is impossible… so it’s a great way of winning free drinks!

What do you enjoy doing in your own time?  I’m a keen birder with a love for invertebrates too, so if I’m not at RSPB Conwy, I’m usually on another reserve somewhere birdwatching, chasing butterflies or diving in ponds! I’m mad about football too, and also enjoy running, camping, fishing and gardening.

Tell us a bit about your work as a visitor expperience manager? What do you love most about it? I’m involved in all aspects of visitor experience at RSPB Conwy. From events planning and social media, to signage, interpretation and more! I’m passionate about making sure that the reserve is a place for both wildlife and people; creating opportunities for our visitors to connect with nature, and inspiring the next generation to care for wildlife and the environment too.

If you had to pick one thing, what are you most passionate about? My last point above is one which I feel particularly strongly about, and is probably the aspect I enjoy the most about my job too. Inspiring people (especially young people) about nature, through hands-on experiences… and science! I began my career with the RSPB at Conwy as a volunteer education intern (AKA professional pond-dipper!) back in 2016, helping to lead school visits on the reserve. I lead similar activities with families and youth groups etc. in my current role, but I will still never tire of seeing the eyes of a child light up at their first sight of a dragonfly nymph, or their first stroke of a smooth newt!

What makes you angry?  In the middle of a nature climate emergency, where should I start? I suppose the sheer ignorance of the natural world, and absence of care which many people seem to be capable of these days. Particularly when those people are in power, and are in control of what state the environment will be for generations to come.

If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? Hm. Just ‘one thing’ feels a bit limited! Could I change the decade we’re in instead? That way we could see a lot of the changes I feel that we now need, already in place. And we could (hopefully) avoid ending up in the mess that we are today! Without certain technological and industrial advances, people simply had to be more connected to their environment and in tune with the natural world. And with wildlife like wild boars, beavers and wolves roaming our woodlands, the world was a little bit wilder too! Do you feel connected to nature and/or wildlife and if so, tell us a bit about when you first found an interest or felt connected. Absolutely. I feel that I always have been, from a young age anyway. Since sitting on the banks of fishing lakes with my grandad watching dragonflies dance, and tending to the allotment with my grandma collecting caterpillars and creating ponds. I used to catch bugs in the garden and nearby fields for hours on end, pot them all up and sit for hours with a book identifying as many as possible. Some would then get transferred to tanks and jars in my ‘museum’ (bedroom), where I would charge entrance fees to see them! As you can imagine, my mum and dad weren’t always amused by this, and I my arachnophobic sister wasn’t too fond either. Despite this though, they never stopped me being a bug nerd and encouraged me in all I did… even if it did result in the occasional escaped insect emergency! *** 9. Jonni Price Rheolwr ymweliadau, RSPB Conwy Llun gan Matt Horwood

Dywedwch rywbeth amdanoch eich hun nad oes neb arall yn ei wybod. Um. Gallaf lyfu fy mhenelin? Pa un sy’n amhosib ym marn y rhan fwyaf o bobl… felly mae’n ffordd wych o ennill diodydd am ddim!

Beth ydych chi'n mwynhau ei wneud yn eich amser eich hun? Rydw i’n adarwr brwd gyda chariad at infertebratau hefyd, felly os nad ydw i yn RSPB Conwy, rydw i fel arfer ar warchodfa arall yn rhywle yn gwylio adar, yn erlid glöynnod byw neu’n deifio mewn pyllau! Dw i’n wallgof am bêl-droed hefyd, a hefyd yn mwynhau rhedeg, gwersylla, pysgota a garddio.

Dywedwch ychydig wrthym am eich gwaith fel rheolwr ymweliadau? Beth ydych chi'n ei garu fwyaf amdano? Rwy’n ymwneud â phob agwedd ar brofiad ymwelwyr yn RSPB Conwy. O gynllunio digwyddiadau a chyfryngau cymdeithasol, i arwyddion, dehongli a mwy! Rwy’n frwd dros sicrhau bod y warchodfa yn lle i fywyd gwyllt a phobl; creu cyfleoedd i’n hymwelwyr gysylltu â byd natur, ac ysbrydoli’r genhedlaeth nesaf i ofalu am fywyd gwyllt a’r amgylchedd hefyd.

Pe bai'n rhaid i chi ddewis un peth, beth ydych chi'n angerddol amdano fwyaf? Mae fy mhwynt olaf uchod yn un yr wyf yn teimlo'n arbennig o gryf yn ei gylch, ac mae'n debyg mai dyma'r agwedd rwy'n ei mwynhau fwyaf am fy swydd hefyd. Ysbrydoli pobl (yn enwedig pobl ifanc) am fyd natur, trwy brofiadau ymarferol… a gwyddoniaeth! Dechreuais fy ngyrfa gyda’r RSPB yng Nghonwy fel intern addysg wirfoddol (AKA trochwr pwll proffesiynol!) nôl yn 2016, gan helpu i arwain ymweliadau ysgol â’r warchodfa. Rwy'n arwain gweithgareddau tebyg gyda theuluoedd a grwpiau ieuenctid ac ati yn fy rôl bresennol, ond ni fyddaf byth yn blino o hyd o weld llygaid plentyn yn goleuo ar eu golwg cyntaf o was y neidr, neu eu strôc gyntaf o fadfall lefn!

Beth sy'n eich gwylltio? Yng nghanol argyfwng hinsawdd natur, ble ddylwn i ddechrau? Tybiwn yr anwybodaeth pur am y byd naturiol, a'r diffyg gofal y mae llawer o bobl yn ymddangos yn alluog i'w wneud y dyddiau hyn. Yn enwedig pan fydd y bobl hynny mewn grym, ac yn rheoli pa gyflwr fydd yr amgylchedd am genedlaethau i ddod.

Pe gallech chi newid un peth am y byd, beth fyddai hwnnw? Hm. Dim ond ‘un peth’ sy’n teimlo braidd yn gyfyngedig! A gaf i newid y degawd yr ydym ynddo yn lle hynny? Y ffordd honno gallem weld llawer o'r newidiadau yr wyf yn teimlo sydd eu hangen arnom yn awr, sydd eisoes ar waith. Ac fe allen ni (gobeithio) osgoi diweddu yn y llanast yr ydym ni heddiw! Heb rai datblygiadau technolegol a diwydiannol penodol, yn syml iawn roedd yn rhaid i bobl fod yn fwy cysylltiedig â'u hamgylchedd ac yn unol â'r byd naturiol. A chyda bywyd gwyllt fel baeddod gwyllt, afancod a bleiddiaid yn crwydro ein coetiroedd, roedd y byd ychydig yn fwy gwyllt hefyd!

Ydych chi'n teimlo'n gysylltiedig â natur a/neu fywyd gwyllt ac os felly, dywedwch ychydig wrthym am pryd y daethoch o hyd i ddiddordeb gyntaf neu pan wnaethoch deimlo cysylltiad. Yn hollol. Teimlaf fy mod wedi bod erioed, o oedran ifanc beth bynnag. Ers eistedd ar lan llynnoedd pysgota gyda fy nhaid yn gwylio gweision y neidr yn dawnsio, a gofalu am y rhandir gyda fy mam-gu yn hel lindys a chreu pyllau. Roeddwn i'n arfer dal trychfilod yn yr ardd a'r caeau cyfagos am oriau o'r diwedd, eu potio nhw i gyd ac eistedd am oriau gyda llyfr yn adnabod cymaint â phosib. Byddai rhai wedyn yn cael eu trosglwyddo i danciau a jariau yn fy ‘amgueddfa’ (ystafell wely), lle byddwn yn codi tâl mynediad i’w gweld! Fel y gallwch ddychmygu, nid oedd fy mam a dad bob amser yn cael eu difyrru gan hyn, a doeddwn i ddim yn fy chwaer arachnoffobig yn rhy hoff chwaith. Serch hynny, nid oeddent byth yn fy atal rhag bod yn nerd pryfaid ac yn fy annog ym mhopeth a wnes … hyd yn oed pe bai'n arwain at ambell argyfwng pryfed a ddihangodd!

[promiseiwillwrite]

Start where you are at

In my mind's eye, I imagined a small clearing in a tall dense stand of Douglas Fir trees, not unlike the one behind my house. I imagined finding a place with a carpet of moss, and I took a shovel, and I dug a hole, twice as wide as it was deep. I filled the hole with Gravel, and I lined the circle with rocks.

I built a platform and laid a fire, and lit it. Once it no longer needed tending, I imagined a red door, standing on the edge of the clearing. The door was like the door to my imagined safe place, wreathed with stones and Ivy, and rounded at the top.

Then I imagined a small door in my own chest, and I took it out of my chest and it sprang to full size, across the fire from the other door, and made of birch bark.

I set my intent. I wanted to call to entities that could help me learn, know, and understand my desires.

And by entities, I mean everything. Great and small, Animal Vegetable, concept, element, god, man, dead or alive, flora, fauna fungi or bacterium, friend, foe or neither. From out in the world, or from within myself, hence the two doors.

I was ready for whatever came.

I put a cylindrical log on the other side of the fire from me, as a seat.

And then I called.

And the Red Door came open a little. I saw a flash of damp brown fur, and then it was gone. And a little field mouse came through the crack made by the other creature. I think it was a beaver.

The field mouse I have worked with before. And they told me that they had been important to my grandmother, and my inner child. They once came to me, to warn me that something I had started wasn't actually finished, but I didn't know what the word "perfunctory" meant at the time, so the message didn't get through.

And after this moment of reminisce, I asked what the mouse had come to help me to understand.

"Fear." it said.

"Not every fear in your mind comes at you like a lion. Some fears can be very small, but very powerful, and they drive you, just the same. Your Fears interfere with your desires, insisting some desires are Okay while others are Not."

These words made a lot of sense. And seemed like something that a mouse would know a great deal about. Fear would be absolutely indispensable for the survival of such a creature. But Perhaps it should not play such a role for a human.

Perhaps I have placed too much importance on some fears, and perhaps I should step back from those fears to see what shows up.

The first thing that came up for me was my sexuality. Because I've essentially walled it off. There are so many conflicting desires I have that are completely unreasonable given the constraints of my current relationship and what I am and am not willing to do with my time. I wanted the desires to just go away. Because I know I don't have to feel them. But I have recently seen that this is just denial. It doesn't feel right because it isn't. Yes, there is less inner conflict, but cutting off this part of myself and never touching it again probably isn't the right answer when I have imaginative capacities I can use to fill those needs in a positive and quality way.

I think I also need to talk about this stuff with my partner. I've NOT talked about it with my partner because there is literally Nothing actionable in it for them. But I shouldn't be afraid to talk about it. It's not like I will be punished for it.

Not a bad start, I wasn't expecting to get right to something so important on the first day.

Thank you, mouse.

[mirekat]

Okay all right since you asked here’s why I think it is not inherently insane to enjoy “Move Along Home”: 

First off, it’s ridiculous. Let’s get that out of the way right now. I happen to like ridiculousness in my Star Trek, so an episode being fundamentally dumb as hell in no way puts me off.

What I DO care about, to an obnoxious degree, is an episode’s politics. Politics in the capacious sense: how is this episode situated within the world of the franchise and within our world, what social narratives is it challenging or reifying, deliberately or inadvertently? And on that front? “Move Along Home” interests me. 

See, a lot of the standard snark about it--even from the showrunners--boils down to “they weren’t in any danger, so what was the point?” And my take is, the fact that they weren’t in any danger is the point. Falow never claims that losing pieces in the game means losing players in real life. That’s entirely Quark’s and Odo’s assumption, based on the ridiculous violence they’ve been subjected to on a regular basis since Starfleet moved in and, I would imagine, the pattern of random, spectacular, gratuitous terror the Cardassians deployed as a display of sovereignty. And we as viewers assume that Quark’s and Odo’s perception is accurate because we, too, regard ridiculous violence as part of the Star Trek status quo. We’ve internalized that narrative, that expectation of tension and release-when-it-all-works-out. So if we’re disappointed when it doesn’t resolve the way we expect it to, that IS, in fact, a point.   

And I think the episode sets this up with the cold open of Sisko fussing over his “official” First Contact ceremony. He’s still early in his command here, and shouldering a level of responsibility Starfleet brass made perfectly clear they never wanted him to have, so the fussing makes sense. And the Wadi prove totally uninterested in what the command staff (and we viewers) of as momentous. We expect “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” and we get “where are the games?” 

Then, too, there’s one of my favorite early-season Kira lines: “I’m a Bajoran administrator. This is NOT what I signed up for!” In substance, it deeply informs the way I read Kira’s character. Even more than Odo and Quark, her life has been shaped by violence--grinding, everyday, inescapable violence--and there’s no thrill in it for her. She’s actually passionate about things like docking schedules, because that’s what Bajoran sovereignty looks like. And I love that. I love it when someone says something fetishistic about her martial prowess and she looks them in the eye and is just like, yes, but I chose to be a bureaucrat (see also: “Return to Grace.”) So I love the way she serves as Sisko’s foil this episode, first in the first-contact scenario, then, later, as they work to get Dax out of the cave.

Anyway, look, I will never suggest that “Move Along Home” is An Good Episode. Yes the premise is wild and yes the dialogue is leaden and yes the main cast chews their way through the incongruously expensive-looking sets like a bunch of beavers with an Adderall habit but. BUT. Season 1′s Good Episodes are good because they unpick assumptions about what the Federation is, and what Star Trek is. And “Move Along Home” is a meaningful contribution to that project, space mullets and all.