#I HAVE NO MEMORY OF THOMAS PLAYING GUN

[bl-bam-beyond]

A LOOK BACK at NETJAMES (as King & Uea) and THOMAS (as Gun) in BED FRIEND. Basically me rewatching BED FRIEND to remember THOMAS (currently starring as Fah in YOUR SKY) Part 1

BED FRIEND (2023, THAILAND)

Episode 3

With Uea unavailable to fulfill his desire, King joined cute co-worker at a club. That cute co-worker is programmer Gun (TEETUT CHUNGMANIRAT aka THOMAS) who is complaining he can't attract a girl. King asking Gun's type and he names Fah, a girl from accounting. But then also says Uea is cute causing King (SIRAPHOP MANITHIKHUN aka NET) to slap him upside the head.

Thomas is killing it as Fah in YOUR SKY yet I have zero memory of him as Gun in BED FRIEND & THE MIDDLEMAN'S LOVE.

@pose4photoml @just-another-boyslove-blog @wanderlust-in-my-soul

[lowkeyrobin]

Hii!! Is it possible to request a Minho x Reader Angst fic? I don’t have any real ideas for what i just rlly like angst😭

Anyway make sure you’re looking after yourself!!

YES 🙏🙏 I concocted the perfect idea for this so I hope you enjoy! ; thank you for requesting!! ; I wrote like a good chunk of this in geometry and physical science so this is actually kinda good lol ; also this is so damn long for me what the FUCK. ; also a bit of inspo in the end thanks to she by jelly roll...

MINHO ; they

summary ; minho loses you again

warnings ; language, guns & gun violence, explosions/bombs, death, he rips off your wckd jacket & top (not sexual), and a panic attack

disclaimers ; top ten most unneeded deaths in cinema

track ; she, jelly roll (again, not a word)

word count ; 2.5k

masterlist

Minho lost everything he'd been able to remember once he left the Glade, including you.

You were a smart thinker, which confused him as to why you stayed back with Gally and the other skeptics who didn't want to find escape in the maze. He tried so hard to convince you to come, but with such little time, he couldn't.

He'd spent months imprisoned mourning the loss of your presence. He didn't know how to function without you. He wondered where you were all the time, if you were even alive or not. He'd been wishing the best in your fate, in the scorch and back in the hands of WCKD. He missed your dorky smile and infectious laughter, hoping one day he could hear it again, even in the stars that he oh-so-missed gazing with you.

Your name scorched his heart every time it was spoken. Your face was engraved in his brain, to the point every time he thought of or imagined you, he'd fight back tears to stay strong. You were weaponized against him, being used to create false memories and episodes to help them find a cure.

Every time he'd wake up from a real dream where you were present, he'd end up in tears, to then have to cradle himself back to sleep. He'd been confined like this for months, then another few days before the bust. It was so, so much worse in the Last City, he'd rather have died in some horrific train crash then have missed his chance at freedom.

However, you survived. Gally did, too, though, even after Minho pierced his chest with a spear.

You'd joined some revolution gang together, learning to use guns and join the ranks. You'd been given bulletproof vests once you proved your worth, officially becoming part of the team.

Reuniting with Thomas, Fry, and Newt was a story in itself, but knowing, or at least hoping, that you'd see Minho again made your heart race in your chest. Gally took Thomas and Newt out to explore the perimeter of the city, letting you reconnect and catch up with Fry and get to know Brenda and her father figure Jorge.

Brenda grew fond of you quickly, liking your badassery and passion to overthrow WCKD. She knew you weren't into trying to kill innocents and understood that you wanted bullets in Janson's and Paige's heads, and you were willing to do it for free.

You showed her and Fry how to use the electro-guns, two you'd stolen from WCKD guards that defended the city walls. They're good for torture, but it was never your taste of tea, you left the others to do the sick shit. You wanted your friends back, you didn't even know they'd been free up til earlier today.

Once the trio came back, they set up a plan that you and Gally jumped in on to deflect and suggest ideas. It was set for tomorrow night, and you didn't know how to process it. You try not to think of Minho the rest of the night, which you awfully fail at, as you'd fallen asleep thinking of him.

You play out your role over and over again, overthinking every single detail down to the grade of gun you'd have strapped to your side. Gally, now your close friend after all this time together, could see your nervousness and anticipation.

"You okay?" He asks, leaning on the railing to your shared bunk bed. You slept on the bottom, him on the top.

You nod, arms sprawled over the top of your pillow, basically holding it like it was going anywhere. "I'm good. Nervous"

He nods, "It'll be alright, we're gonna get him back"

You'd stolen WCKD gaurd suits, your first priority. You and Gally walk around the perimeter of the building post getting the kids on the bus. Your masks are up to avoid any real guards noticing that you're fakes. He holds his bulky gun across his chest, while yours is angled with the safety on across your back. A hand rests over the pistol on your side.

You can feel your heart pounding behind your ribcage, the anticipation of seeing Minho and taking down WCKD killing you. Gally pats your shoulder for reassurance and nods forward silently, wanting to pick up the pace.

You notice explosions in the distance, firey flames illuminating the sky.

As you walk under the main area, you notice a fire extinguisher land in the modern pool, splashing water into the air as it sinks to the bottom. You hear yells, then three bodies plop into the pool. You and three other guards behind you run to the scene, while you and Gally lag behind, knowing who just showed up.

Thomas, Newt, and Minho rise out of the water, floating over to the side after Thomas sends Janson, standing in the bay of the window, maybe twenty stories high, a middle finger. They wade over to the edge and pull themselves out, guards hold them at gunpoint, leaving their faces shaken and in despair.

Gally acts first, shoving one of the guards into the pool, then you pistol whip the one on your right, and you together knock out the last guy. The boys stare at you two, confused as to why two guards had apparently saved them, their questions are quickly answered as Gally rips his mask off.

"Hey"

"Oh, you bloody genius!"

"Oh, shit"

"What the hell?" Minho mutters.

Laying your eyes on him again, even though that mask, it brought you nearly to tears. Seeing his eyes, so tired, his body clearly so weak from the mental and physical stress, your heart broke for him. You make sure your handheld gun had the safety on before tucking it away properly.

"Long story" Gally replies to Minho, knowing what he was thinking.

Minho, still in genuine shock, adrenaline coursing through his veins, looks to you, wondering if you were maybe Brenda or Fry. You bite the inside of your cheek before pulling your mask off, softly smiling at Minho.

Newt and Thomas smile, Newt much more weak, as he was beginning to crank out.

"Y/n?" He questions in disbelief. "How- am I dreaming again?"

You quickly pound the boy into a hug, the moisture from his body rubbing off onto your red and grey outfit. The mask lays on the concrete, where Gally kicks it into the water, same with his.

You hear him begin to sob, holding onto you so tightly in fear you'd disappear like all the times before. You rub his back with your dominant hand, which trails up his spine toward his nape.

"I thought you were dead" He cries, "They've been using you in those simulations-"

"It's okay." You softly speak, "We have to go, you can tell me all about it later"

He nods, eyes still widened in shock and confusion as you follow the other three as they quickly flee the scene.

You take cover by some bushes, leaving Newt on the side to rip his jacket off as he sweats profusely. The veins in his neck were bulging out of his skin, colored a matte black.

You couldn't help but stare, unable to listen to the others talk. You quickly rush to his aid, wanting to help him be the most comfortable he possibly could be.

You crouch down next to him, giving him some reassuring words that he'd be okay. You help him to his feet, where Minho is at your side.

Gally and Thomas lead the way as another explosion rings through the air near you. You duck your head as some loose shrapnel lightly hits your skin, thankfully not enough force given to puncture your face.

The explosions only become worse as you run through a little diner, having no alternate route around as the city was being blown to smithereens.

"God damnit, we said blow up the entrance, not the whole damn city"

Newt falls to the ground, too weak to walk as black ooze drips from his lips. Glass explodes behind you, in which you quickly shove Minho to the ground in front of you to protect him. You cover your head, letting the glass shards hit your protected back.

He gasps for air for a moment as Thomas and Gally prop him up against a safe wall, trying to talk to him. You and Minho follow suit, making a quick plan to go get the temporary cure from Brenda and Jorge, and run back to give it to Newt.

"Stay strong for me, okay?" Minho speaks, his hands on the blonde's shoulders.

He nods, his eyes clearly lost in a daze, his vision blurry and wobbly.

Minho pats his shoulder before standing up, letting you give him a nod of reassurance. You and Gally follow Minho, weapons drawn to protect him as he leads with his quick sprinting skills.

You three get one last look at Newt and Thomas before fleeing, working your way through the maze of buildings and explosions to get to your friends. Gally shoots a guard at his side while you do the same at about a 10'o'clock radius.

"This way!"

You follow Minho, the explosions so loud that they defeaned gunshots. The battery on your stolen WCKD gun runs out, and you toss it to the side, resorting to using your pistol to defend your friends. Another bomb nearly knocks you off your feet, causing you to stumble into Minho.

"Sorry!" You shout over the noise.

"You okay?" He shouts back, helping you balance on your feet again.

"Yeah!" You quickly reply, nodding forward for him to continue running to get the cure.

You make it down to the Berg, where Fry, Brenda and Jorge await your arrival.

"The cure!"

"We can't leave him here like this"

"We can't take him back-"

"We have to, please"

"It's too dangerous, we won't make it back to the Berg in time, or we'll get blown up carrying him!"

You stand at Minho's side, looking down at the blonde haired boy as he stands up. He wipes the tears from his eyes, looking at you.

"We have to leave him, Minho"

He nods, slowly placing the cure in Newt's cold hand. He takes one last look at him before turning away, waiting for anyone to speak and give orders.

Brenda speaks up again, deciding to get back to the Berg as fast as possible. You all follow her, guns out, ready to shoot whoever you had to at this point.

Minho turns to you as you run side by side, "Why are you here? Why are you putting yourself in the face of danger? To save me or something?"

You give him a little head tilt to act as a shrug, "You called"

"What?"

You shake your head, deciding to explain it once you were in the hands of safety. An explosion, which cause the ground to rumble beneath you, knocks you all off your feet and onto the hard concrete.

You all groan in pain, having fallen all over each other. Brenda had fallen onto Fry, and they both stumble to the side, apologizing to one another profusely. You'd fallen onto Minho, of course, and help him back to his feet.

You feel lightheaded, your face growing cold, odd for the amount of heat and fire and running around you'd been doing. You lean onto the boy, feeling woozy, as maybe you'd stood up to fast.

Then you fall to your knees, some invisible force knocking you down, your cargo pants ripping at the knees from the impact.

"Y/n!" You hear Minho shout, his voice echoey in your ears.

You hear three gunshots coming from each Fry, Gally, and Brenda. You look back, seeing a WCKD guard fall on their back after taking three shots to the head and chest. Minho's hands rest on your shoulder and on your cheek as he calls your name, asking if you're okay. You see his eyes glance down, where he quickly looks back up to not scare you.

You stand up, numb to any pain. He follows, making sure you're able to keep balance on your feet. He quickly rips off the bulletproof vest for you and your jacket, revealing the wound right under your collar bone.

You look down at it, then look back up at him, eyebrows furrowed. You look to the other three, eyes widened in shock and fear. Another explosion pops a few hundred yards away, shaking the ground again, though not enough to knock you all down once more.

Minho quickly shouts for anything he can use to keep pressure on the wound. He held his hand over it, as the bleeding was horrible at the moment. His hands are covered in your blood, considering the bullet that shot you went clear through you. You notice the bullet a few feet away, light flickering off of it as it rolls into the street where multiple bloody bodies lay.

Minho rips a piece of his shirt and stuffs it into the exit wound, ordering you to hold it there. He pulls you along as you continue running through the city. Your left arm rests over Minho's shoulders, not wanting to upset your other side. Considering moving, it would only agitate it more, and you were trying to keep pressure on the wound anyway.

As you reach the final yards to reach the Berg where Jorge and Vince wait, you collapse to your knees again, landing face first in the debris covered concrete. Minho falls with you, your weight having dragged him down. He tries to pull you up but notices the pool of blood forming around you. A thin, but large pool.

He calls your name over and over, then flips you on your back, where blood sputters out of your mouth. He quickly pulls you up, your back now held up by Brenda and Fry, who were quick to turn back. Gally crouches down on one knee and slowly removes the cloth from the wound, absolutely drenched in crimson.

"No, no, no, no. Not now! Y/n, get up, please," He pleads, watching Vince and Jorge rush to your aid. "They were shot by a gaurd, went clean through, there's so much blood-"

You reach your hand out to Minho as the men pick you up off the ground, where you stumble to walk with them. They practically carry you on their shoulders to the Berg.

Another explosion knocks you all to the ground again, leaving bruises on faces, arms, and legs as you're pounded onto the ground. You'd be lucky enough not to get AIDS at this point.

Minho stumbles to his feet, rushing to you as the men pick themselves up before you.

He notices blood spewing from the other side of your chest. He rips the extra layers of clothing off your torso, tossing your pistol to the side as well. Gally looks around, finger on the trigger of his gun, looking for a shooter.

"Stray bullet!" Brenda shouts, "Get them in there! Go! Thomas needs us!"

Minho places his hands under your arms and drags you into the Berg himself, all the children right in view of your slumped body. You choke on blood and air, feeling your face grow cold and pale. The liquid trails up into the aircraft, staining the hard metal red for the time being.

Vince jumps into the driver's seat, ordering the others to help you and how to before it's too late. Brenda stands next to him, trying to get any info out of Thomas through the walkies.

You wrap your arms around Minho, feeling the pain in your chest now as you grunt and cry. You squeeze onto the back of his shirt, the pain causing you to claw your fingers into him. He holds you, his heart breaking in two as you struggle to breathe.

The placement, it wasn't possible to keep you this time. It wasn't possible to keep you and be free in any situation, in any timeline, in any universe.

"I don't wanna say goodbye"

He sits on the beach every morning, talking to the sunrise as if you were there next to him. He didn't mind the sand that would pile up in his boots or the dusty grain that would stick to his hydrophoric hands all damn day if it weren't for the water there to wash it away.

His fingers traced over your name on the rock when he felt lonely, like you were magically there, hugging him again.

He'd never know for sure what you meant when you said that he called. He understood that you definitely didn't hear him call for you after awakening after nightmares, but maybe you did, he wouldn't have known. He guessed in a metaphorical sense, he did call for you, which you both knew, but it still confused him somehow. He wanted you to explain it all so he'd understand, like how you always did.

He regretted never being able to rant about all his feelings to you. He wished he had time to tell you about all he went through so you could reassure him that you'd protect him forever. You'd protect him from the nightmares and the scars, the mental baggage that would weigh him down forever.

He started crying himself to sleep after he began to forget your face.

He just wanted another hug, but your face was beginning to blur out. It sent him into a panic attack right there. No one was there to help him as he cried and clawed into the dirt, trying to ground himself again. He couldn't believe himself, he treasured you so much yet he was forgetting your face after merely a year after your dissapearance?

It didn't help that after a while, he began to forget your voice too, that hurt even more. He'd been forced to talk about his feelings to Thomas like a parent-child conference. He wasn't himself anymore.

His eyes were always swollen, eyebags dark and weighing his happiness down. He was depressed. Every smile he showed was just him trying to make his way through another day's work, distracting himself from the fact that he lost you, for good this time, he watched it.

He wrote letters to you with no address to send to. It didn't help whatsoever that he himself pushed you out into the sea once Thomas regained consciousness so he could say farewell. He watched it all, he knew you were gone this time. At least he had some sense of closure.

He had nothing left of you other than that WCKD jacket you wore, that haunted him as he slept. He only kept it because even with the logo of the corporation that tortured him for years and past the bullet holes in it, it provided him a little comfort that you were still there.

He found that telling stories of you to the younger kids helped.

"They were like the life of the party, bright smile, infectious laughter. They were the one everyone wanted to be around. You could see the sunrise in their eyes."

"Who were they to you?" One little girl asks.

"I don't really know" Minho shrugs, looking down at his hands for a moment.

"Where are they now?" A little boy asks, tilting his head.

"They're in the sky, they have been. They're stuck there. I hope I see them again" He replies with a little nod, looking up at the sun beginning to set up on the island.

"Why are they stuck in the sky?"

"They're afraid of coming down"

[tellmealittlelie]

Children with Ghost

Ghost is nervous at first when you express that you want children, worrying about being like his father. You do your best to soothe his worries, knowing that they are completely unrealistic.

He supports you 24/7, maybe to the point of a little too smothering, but he will back off it it upsets you. He makes sure that you are comfortable, bringing you heaps of comfortable blankets and pillows.

Cravings at midnight? He already has everything prepared and ready for you. Doctors visits? If he can't drive you himself he'll order ask one of his trusted lieutenants to drive you.

When you give birth, he looks almost ready to faint. He holds your hand the whole time and encourages you even when you yell at him to stop fucking joking when you're pushing what feels like a god-dammed bowling ball out of your crotch.

Simon can't help but fall in love with the baby, holding them close to his chest. He loves his silly little geese with all his heart.

For names he's open to anything and loves it when you suggest the name Thomas if you have a son.

Forecast for the next 70 years?: Dad jokes all day, everyday.

He teaches his children self defense almost as soon as they can walk. When he isn't there he wants them to know how to defend themselves.

You love going out for family activities and making all the memories that you can. You can expect Simon to always play with the kids, secretly loving it when he and his daughter have fictional tea parties and when he sons challenge him to a Nerf-gun battle. He wins, every single time, he's not going to lie about his mad skills, doll.

He whines when you join in and it's him against all of you. He still wins but the victory always includes them (even if they are technically eliminated) jumping on him in a pile or a bear-hug.

Your children love their father more than anything and mourn it when he leaves on missions. However, you make sure that you have phone and video calls regularly.

Baby, I love you, but hold on a sec, I gotta save the world.

[alexibeeart]

MyHouse.wad

On March 2 2023, a user called Veddge posted this thread in the WADs and Mods Doomworld forum:

MyHouse

Excited to finally release this tribute map. Last August I lost a good childhood friend of mine and took it pretty hard. When I was visiting my hometown for his funeral, I connected with his parents who shared with me some of his old belongings. Among them was a copy of an old map of his backed up on a 3.5” floppy from high school. Thomas and I were into amateur Doom mapping in the early 00s but I had never seen this map of his prior to uncovering it on one of the old floppy discs. As a way of paying tribute to him and all the great memories we had together, I took the plunge and installed Doom Builder in order to polish up his map and add a few modern amenities just for convenience sake.

I haven’t touched an editor in over 15 years so it was quite a surprise to find out how easy mapping has become. I may have gotten a little carried away with these new UDMF features and, as such, the map is designed for GZDoom. From the text file:

Doom 2 - GZDoom, hardware renderer

1 map: Not much of a challenge and roughly 10 minutes of play time. All difficulty settings implemented.

Jumping & crouching disabled, freelook is fine

Lots of Doomcute!

Making maps of your house was all the rage back-in-the-day, but I feel like this is a pretty adorable and detailed tribute to my friend and a great way to share something of him with a community we loved. Miss you, Tom.

Download myhouse.wad

Contained within is a link to a Google Drive folder containing myhouse.wad—a DOOM map of a normal 20th century suburban house where you mow down baddies and collect a blue, yellow, and red keycard to reach the exit—photos, text files, screenshots, and some images of a sketchbook.

There is also another version of the mod in a different format: myhouse.pk3. Opening this file to start a new game shows the map exactly the same as myhouse.wad ... until it isn’t.

Read Vegge’s original post, poke around in the GDrive, don’t look up anything else if you can help it, and give this a go. If you’re stumped, you might need to get some fresh air outside. General content warnings in the tags; spoiler cws under the cut. Obviously there is much more to this map than it seems ...

general content warnings for myhouse.pk3: blood, gore, violence, guns, weapons, pov, monsters, zombies, demons, flashing lights, eye strain

spoilery content warnings for myhouse.pk3: liminal spaces, the backrooms, unreality, substance abuse, alternate reality, enclosed spaces, open spaces, animal death, mirrors, mirror world, spiders, fire ... please ask me to tag anything i missed! this is still a very new puzzlebox of a game and it’s possible there’s still more to discover ...

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

I just got caught up on the gaslight au and AHHH I love it so much! I do wonder about what the Waynes' secret. It's gotta be a version of the Batfamily, but it's mostly just hush hush in the story. Wonder if sweet wildflower will learn about it?

Bruce looked at the Doctor's daughter sitting across from him and his heart twisted. You understood the sanctity of life. You'd helped your father tend his patients as his very own nurse, setting and stitching wounds. Mixing salves and poultices.

And now there was blood on your hands.

Physically, he knew you would heal. You were young and healthy. But some wounds would take far longer to heal. Now, as you sat across from him, playing the part you were supposed to play. Pouring his tea and explaining, haltingly- from memory some medicinal properties of a local fauna your father had favored as a topical analgesic- he asked suddenly, "What were you aiming for?"

"Clavicle," you murmur. No hesitation. Just a pause to register the question. "I- I was afraid that if I tried to shoot him in the leg I would miss- close quarters and-" You break off and Bruce nods.

Clavicle. Not chest. To cause pain. Time to get away- you could run while he was writhing on the floor.

"You didn't mean to kill that- man," Bruce said. "You were in a panic. Terrified out of your mind." He set his cup down and looked at you seriously, "My father was a doctor, did you know that?"

"I didn't."

"And I don't think Thomas Wayne would have lost much sleep over the death of a man who would kidnap and- mistreat a young woman... And I do not think your father would be disappointed in you. He'd probably have been less kind about it than you were-"

"Pardon?"

"Your shot through his chest," Bruce explained. "It's why I asked what you were aiming for. It went through his heart. He didn't suffer." He had suffered, a little. But. You didn't need to know that.

"He just dropped- at first I thought I missed. I didn't know. I thought. I froze. I-"

Bruce nodded. You weren't a killer. Even if you had shot guns while hunting with your father- a piece of the story gleaned from Jason. It was a different matter to shoot a person. "It's not uncommon to freeze," he said.

"Will I- I mean I did kill a man-"

"If it comes to that," Bruce said calmly, "we'll take care of it. It was a murder, but it wasn't a crime."

"I-"

"One thing at a time," Bruce said. "The legal system is- imperfect. But. Jim Gordon seems to agree. The question is whether or not Harvey Dent will agree."

"What am I going to do?"

"Tell the truth," he said smiling a little. "And just know- you're under house arrest... sort of. I told Gordon I'd keep you here until we could figure out what were were going to do. Try you for the murder or make a case against your uncle for paying the man to start with."

[barcodeboyz]

My top 10 favorite South Park episodes, no one asked but here we go

10. With Apologies to Jesse Jackson

This is a controversial episode to put here because of how offensive it is, and truthfully, I didn't care too much for the A plot. But the B-plot makes up for it. Watching Cartman and a Midget fight to Get Down with the Sickness is so hilariously absurd.

9. You're Getting Old/Ass Burgers

This is the second/third episode I remember watching before I got into the show. I included them both in one spot because Ass Burgers is a continuation of You're Getting Old, but each have their own separate charm. I definitely shed a tear when Stan moved out to Fleetwood Mac's Landslide and split my sides laughing as Kyle yelled at Cartman for sticking the burgers up his ass. I also heavily relate to Stan's meltdown in class in Ass Burgers, because that's real emotion. An amazing storyline overall.

8. Make Love, Not Warcraft

I mentioned that the previous two episodes were some of my first episodes, but not THE first episode. That title goes to this episode. When I was born, my brother was 15, and as I grew up, I often watched him play World of Warcraft. So this episode is very nostalgic to me, not just because him and I watched it but because as someone who plays WOW nowadays (very inconsistently), it's so nostalgic to see how much has changed.

7. The Losing Edge

This is just a classic episode. The boys don't want to participate in baseball and try to get out of it by losing, but the other teams have the same idea. I think we all know who the real star of the episode is: Randy. I thought this was America!

6. Trapped in the Closet

Subtlety is completely ignored in this episode. As Stan is praised as the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard, his comments about Tom Cruise send him literally into the closet. I think my favorite bit in the episode is R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet verses, specifically when he pulls out a gun in Stan's room and everyone in the hallway runs away.

5. Major Boobage

This episode is... beautiful. The animation is impressive, and the story is hilarious as well. Kenny and Gerald cheesing and then getting into a fight, Cartman reliving the Holocaust with the cats, and the funny ass press conference given just solidify this episode as legendary.

4. Le Petit Tourette

This episode introduced my favorite one-off character, Thomas. But even more than that, it gave us a great story and a chance for us to see Cartman's plan blow up in his face. While it ultimately never came to fruition due to Kyle's actions, it's satisfying to know that he definitely revealed a deep secret or two in exchange for almost slandering minority groups on national TV.

3. Follow That Egg

I have vague memories of watching this episode as a kid, but I don't consider it as one of my firsts because I could only really recall them running through the crowd trying to save their grade. But it's a fantastic episode. Ms. Garrison's attempts to stop gay marriage from being legalized, to Stan's comical bitterness towards Kyle and Wendy, it all comes together and compliments each other well.

2. D-Yikes!

I didn't expect to get so personal on a South Park top 10 list, but it's the honest truth. South Park became a major comfort for me after my assault. And this was the first episode I watched that made me burst out laughing since the attack; Ms. Garrison screaming "scissor me timbers!" has got to be one of the funniest lines in the show's history. And overall, it's just a fun episode to watch.

1. Guitar Queero

This is an underrated masterpiece of an episode that more people should watch. The plot of the episode feels so fluid, and everything about it makes sense to me. The rise to stardom, falling to drugs (well, video games about drugs), losing it all and returning to give it one final shot just encompasses what South Park can really do when given the right tools. Maybe I'm biased because Season 11 is my favorite season, but something about this episode just really scratches my brain.

Anyways, that's my list! Thanks all for reading.

[sl-newsie]

American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 13: Blessings In Disguise

Still no sign of Thomas. He’s still asleep, and the memory of our last encounter still runs a chill down my spine. Is he still upset? I didn’t intend to make him mad but he has to understand that it’s his own doing that’s digging him this hole of chaos. 

“Eat up, Finn,” I urge as I pass him some eggs. 

The young Shelby does quick work to devour his breakfast and goes to grab his hat.

“Whoa, whoa! Where’s the fire?” 

“‘M late for something,” he replies before dashing out the door.

I guess there’s never a quiet moment in this house-

“Morning.”

As I said. Never quiet.

“Morning, Mr. Shelby,” I answer quietly as Thomas steps in. His tone is much less gruff that I expected. Maybe he’s forgotten-

“About yesterday…”

He didn’t forget.

“You don’t decide my life, Steenstra. Same as how I don’t decide yours. Are we square?”

I sigh heavily and loom up at him with concerned eyes. “I know. You bring this on yourself, whether you might want it or not. I will apologize, so long as you apologize for letting your temper loose.”

The Peaky Blinder’s eyes widen in surprise. “Me? You want me to say sorry for yelling? Are you really that soft?”

Bam!

I slam my own fist onto the table and Thomas reaches for his pistol.

“That’s what it feels like, Thomas. To step on eggshells, not knowing what little thing might set the gunpowder off. What might set you off.”

Those blue eyes’ cold stare softens and I think he gets my point.

“I’m sorry,” I start.

Thomas nods. “I’m s-”

Just then John walks in. “Tommy! What gives?” He gestures to the gun and Thomas slips it back into its holster. “Tell her what happened, eh? We’ve got leverage, Verena! Met with some new partners at the Garrison yesterday.”

“Billy Kimber himself even made an appearance,” Thomas says.

Kimber? I thought I heard Polly call that bloke a piece of bad news. 

“Might have an alliance forming,” John agrees.

“You’re playing with fire,” I scold lightly and start to roll out more bread dough.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Thomas walk over and whisper smugly: “I don’t catch fire. Fire catches me, love.”

John rolls his eyes at his stupid pun and walks off towards the office. I expect Thomas to follow but instead he sits down and takes a drink. How is this man still alive from all this whiskey?

“Something’s wrong. What are you stressed about, hm? You look like you’re about to explode.”

Thomas sighs and pinches his forehead. “Ada and Freddie are still here.”

“So?” One would think Ada and Freddie’s close location would be a good thing, or at least that’s what my family is like. We all stick close to the same spot.

“I made a deal with the copper that he’d be run out of town.”

I dust the flower off my hands and gesture to Thomas. “Like I said. Playing with fire. Between that, the guns, and this Kimber fellow, I don’t know who’s going to kill you first.”

The blue-eyed gangster looks up at me with a teasing gaze. “You’d be sad to see that, eh?”

“It’d mean I lose my job.”

Yes, I would be sad to see Thomas dead. It’s sad to see anybody dead. After the trust I’ve earned from him it’s not easy to ignore my growing attachment. Mother always says my feelings are what trips me up. Either I lash out to establish my pride or have an overabundance of attachment for people I barely know. I got that from father. He can make friends with anyone.

“Do you have any work for me today, Mr. Shelby?”

“You’ve done enough this week. Take a day off.”

He doesn’t mean just housework. Throughout the week Polly’s been showing me the ropes of banking and record keeping for the Peaky Blinders. Thank God I’m halfway decent at basic math or I’d be sunk, though I do admit having to shift to British currency is a tricky reminder.

“Thank you, sir.”

I know exactly what I’m doing for my day off. After Thomas leaves for Lord knows what business I finish prepping the bread and set it out to rise before leaving the house myself. Thankfully Campbell’s been keeping out of my hair and bothering Thomas instead so I shouldn’t have any predicaments pop up.

The church is one of the only places here I can find a sense of peace. The afternoon sun glinting through the clouds casts warm shadows through the stained glass windows. The only offsetting about this scene is the person I spot in the back of the pews. Never once have I pictured Arthur Shelby as a religious man.

“You come here too?” I ask as I approach him and sit in the aisle across.

Arthur glares down at me. “You think I’m out of place?”

I shake my head to show no hostility. “Everyone is welcomed in the house of God. I just never expected you to walk in. Something wrong?”

He grunts and looks away. “Private stuff. You’re just the help.”

“I am. But that doesn’t mean my job defines me as a person. We don’t have to talk about what’s wrong, I’m just here if anyone feels like talking.”

With that I leave him to be with his thoughts and kneel to pray. Lord, these are good people who happen to be faced with rough situations. If you could please allow them just a brief peace of mind I would be most grateful-

“I still don’t know how you got Tommy to trust you.”

I look up at the oldest Shelby brother. His face has changed to one of a tired man, one who’s worn down.

“People keep asking me questions that I don’t know the answers to. All about Ada, the Black Swan Paddy, something about guns and the BSA.”

Ada I understand. As for the other two I haven’t heard a thing about them. Obviously the Paddy wasn’t a member of Uncle Colon’s family or else I would recognize him.

“Your family has a strong role in this community. That is an honorable position but also one that comes with high responsibility. You probably expect me to say some nonsense about ‘good things come to those who wait’ and all that. That can be true. But between you and your brothers I know you’re not patient enough to wait. So I will say this: no one has the answers for everything, Mr. Shelby. Try as we might there are always unanswered questions. To some that might seem scary, but I like to think of it as a chance to put faith in God. Whatever the plan is, I can’t control it. Neither of us can. So only worry about the small things you can control now.” I stand up and gesture to the church. “Can you do anything about suppressing rumors right here, right now?”

Arthur slumps in his seat. “No.”

“Then don’t stress over it. I know that won’t help much but mind tricks have a way of improving tricky circumstances.”

A few moments go by as Arthur thinks through my advice. Honestly I don’t even know where all of this wisdom is suddenly pouring from me. Sometimes my brothers say that just because I’m the youngest doesn’t mean they’re smarter. Not by a long shot. But what sense does it make for a random American woman to have to teach such things to criminal gangsters?

“You seem to have a lot of hope,” Arthur says after a while.

The hint of a smile at the corners of his mustache is payment enough. “Even in this gloomy place, there is always a sliver of hope if one is willing to look hard enough, Mr. Shelby.”

“You know, you’re alright, Steenstra. Suppose I pegged you as any other loud-mouth ditsy broad that skips across the pond.”

My own smile tugs at my lips though I do well to suppress my joy. There. Now all of my employers don’t hate me. 

“Hello.”

Arthur and I both glance over at Thomas, who’s standing in the doorway.

“Never expected you two to become chummy.”

My eyes narrow in consideration. “The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

Thomas lets out a grunt and goes on to sit next to Arthur. “Well on that note, I’m here to talk to my brother. So would you mind…?”

“Not in the slightest.” I stand up and give a nod to Arthur. “Feel better, Mr. Shelby.”

Thomas’ nose scrunches. “I’m fine.”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” I reply and pivot to walk back down the aisle. Have I forgotten his temper tantrum? No I have not. 

For the rest of my day off I finish baking my bread and even a few batches of cookies for John. Once that’s done I decide to try and find a park of sorts. 

“There’s a small patch of grass that’s considered a park on the other side of town,” Polly says when I ask her. “Though keep your wits about. There’s trouble there for unescorted women.”

I flash her the pistol tucked into my skirt. “That’s why I'm bringing this little helper.”

“Smart girl.”

It’s been nearly a month since the Shelbys have taken me in. Whenever I ask Polly about my debt toll she never gives me a straight answer. Part of me is starting to suspect she doesn't want me to leave so soon. Between Thomas and Ada’s words of praise I’m beginning to think me being stuck here is a blessing in disguise. Over the past weeks I’ve gotten a feel of the land so Polly’s directions steer me right to my destination. And she’s right. This is no park. This place makes Central Park look like the Smoky Mountains! But a walk in the park is a walk in the… patch of grass? Whatever. I’m outside, that’s what counts.

“Polly said you’d be here,” a voice calls from behind.

Is Thomas stalking me? Jesus, is being his go-to for venting make him this- this… watchful? Does he think I’ll tell someone?

“Come to scorn me for doing what you can’t?” When Thomas cocks his head in confusion I fill in the blanks. “Me helping your brother?”

He pats my shoulder and pulls out a cigarette. “I told him not to worry.”

That’s it? “You know you can’t just slap a bandaid on something like this and expect people to be ok. Your brother’s been through a lot, as have you. Nobody should go on keeping secrets in their own family.”

“I made up for it,” Thomas replies lazily. “I bought him a pub. He seemed excited.”

A pub? That’s wonderful! A distraction is just what Arthur needs. If he’s as excited as Thomas says, this will be good for both him and the Peaky Blinders.

I stop walking and look up at Thomas with a bewildered smile. “Just when I think all emotion has been drained out of you, you still surprise me, Thomas.”

He squints. “You call me that. I notice you haven’t been addressing me as ‘Mr. Shelby.’”

“You said we were on a first name basis,” I shrug. “Would you rather I return to calling you Mr. Shelby? It’s kind of confusing when there’s four of you.”

“Oh no, love. A first-name basis is just fine.”

[new-berry]

A getting to know you meme? Quiz? Interview?

I’ve smooshed a few together. Mostly from memory so I might have mis remembered.

Sweet/salty/sour /spicy:

Not sour. Not spicy. I don’t mind food with flavour I just don’t want eating to be an endurance event.

Go to snack. Cheese and crackers If I ever say “I don’t like cheese” I have been kidnapped and it is a cry for help. Call the police.

Next celebration:

it’s been nearly a year since pixel the wonder dog came into our lives so we are having an anniversary party this weekend.

Favourite holiday:

I like Christmas. It’s sunny and since I often cook it I get all my favourite foods. If I’m catering I do not give a fuck.

Last year we had lasagne and a roast meal because I wanted lasagne but not to eat it for a week.

The year before that we had all different kinds of meat balls (including spicy Asian for my sister in law that were very spicy and Asian inspired and not made from an Asian person. ) we had turkey and pork and falafels purely because it is what I wanted.

My dad had his nose out of a joint a bit but genuinely that makes it more fun.

Christmas is great. We have a sensible tree and a reasonable number of gifts and a week off work.

Favourite movie: I love Fantasia. I am a bad movie watcher. I have to go to the cinema or I will think of something else to do.

Favourite sport: I do equally love netball, football, pro wrestling and ice hockey.

Last thing you cooked:

We had minestrone soup (homemade!) garlic bread (shop made) with bacon (home… fried?) . And I made cupcakes because the oven was on. I made 11 cupcakes. There are four cupcakes left. On the one hand aww they were good! On the other hand I have yet to have one and there are only four people in the house.

Last thing you wore. Jeans and a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt. (It’s pink! ) right now I have pj’s on. They have spoons and tiny love hearts on them I don’t know why. They are from one of those fly by night shops at the mall and are soooooo soft. Lucky they don’t have random swear words.

(An aside I don’t remember reading Winnie the Pooh as a kid but my partner insisted we needed a copy when we had kids so I’ve read it but as an adult. I like it. I approve.)

Last song listened to: And she was (talking heads) it’s my Iris Law song. I listen to it when I’m writing glitter because it puts me in the right head space for that fic. Then I just let Apple pick similar music and every three or four songs I listen to And she was again.

Dumb thing that makes me laugh. When writing is just like not happening I’ll play it a lot because I get annoyed look at my music list. When it���s going well it’s like“and she was” was six songs again and I have no recollection of what I was listening to. I’ll like look up blinking and release for some reason it playing like Seafret and I’ll have no idea how I got there.

Not that anyway asked but the Ivan /Thomas song is in fact Guns of Brixton. Gonna think it every time I write Ivan’s name anyway. The Clash and then Jimmy Cliff for my favourite versions. There are a surprisingly large number of covers. Arcade Fire excellent. Nouvelle Vague doesn’t do it for me.

Might call the fic “the money seems good”.

Star sign Aquarius. (Not adjusted) am I an Aquarius? It’s summer in January here :).

Favourite colour: pink with a side of purple. But really pink.

Tea /coffee. Yea please. Too much of it in lieu of water. I have my tea stewed and cold or hot and too weak. I have coffee with fluffy milk. No sugar.

Quirk. Ummm I have trained myself out of saying “bless you” when people sneeze.

One thing you would change (about you) I am an extremely impatient driver. Sometime I pretend to be singing along with music and start chair dancing when I realise I have been non stop swearing and maybe people can see I’m me in their rear vision mirror. If you mean like a physical thing? I would like to be taller. Or to not need glasses.

One thing you’re proud of? I don’t look externally for validation. I’m happy. I love those things.

Next plans (these were the writing ones I just did a WIP so..)

Going to finish Ivan/Thomas, then either going to finish glitter or re do the one I started with Jude as not a demon making (maybe) Trent not a demon because I have a different Jude one and I don’t want to write him that much. Or getting to the point of ever again.

I want to finish the last part of tidal. Which is stubbornly half / a third done because I have not added words to it. Which seems vastly unfair.

The last thing I wrote lol if you could see me I’d be laughing. I literally wrote Virgil going down on Iris while Trent holds her up. It’s like a lot of athletic flexible rich people sex. You can wait for the fic. It would sound bizzare out of context.

Pondering /fic adjacent something like that: Having an Ivan/Thomas hmmmmm. Have a tricky moment I’m trying to navigate. And also trying to thinking I tag age gap? There are 22 years between them but Ivan is 28.

What won’t you write: hahahahahhahhaa. Friends I wrote royal family incest porn. I wrote Orlando Bloom with a little person as a birthday present. I have written non con domestic violence and I’m actually really pleased with Ivan/Thomas I think some of the lines are beautiful and it’s interesting and meaty and no one will read it lol.

And I don’t care! I love getting older. I’ll cater what I want to eat and if you don’t want it you can have potatoes with my dad.

Not even being aggressive! I also make excellent roast potatoes! Just I don’t have much time to write (she says writing a bloody essay here) so I have to write what grabs me.

“What do you want, Thomas?” Ivan asks. The air con is blasting in the car but the sun still forcing itself on them. A dazzle off the outward facing windows, a raw flinch every few metres.

What is something no one else will notice but it’s important to you. I can’t remember exactly how this was phrased! I have written coach/player fic before and normally I make a point of mentioning that power imbalance by having the player refer to them as the boss or the gaffer or the mister. But in this Ivan always calls Thomas by his name.

Share a recently enjoyed fic: oh I have so many tabs open. I caught up. Nearly.

Trent is a vampire.

Joe Willock /Alex Isak. The wanting man. The wanting gets you.

[mimssides]

"I Wish I Could Believe You"

Prompt from @lost-in-thought-20: one of the Sides has overworked themselves. The other goes to check up on them and tries to get the overworked Side to swear not to do it again.

Link to the story on AO3 | Masterpost | Taglist

___

It takes a liar to know a liar.

It takes someone who likes working hard and well to recognise when someone forgot why they liked their work in the first place.

It takes a perfectionist to recognise when someone’s critiquing only becomes a stalling technique.

So, this turn of events doesn’t surprise him. Maybe he should have picked up on it a little quicker but he has needed time after the wedding to compress and figure out what to do next. Everything until that point has been so rushed . Everybody has been on edge and tried to not piss anyone else off, which in did piss everybody off even more.

He has decided to hold his cards close to the chest for once and just didn’t say too much. He started to think. And he found a few things in his thoughts. One was that he shouldn’t have rushed into that debate after the wedding. That he shouldn’t have jumped the gun and let things escalate the way they did.

That the insults between him and the other most dramatic side should never have been taken as seriously as the were. He shouldn’t have said his half and he shouldn’t have gotten so upset about the words that were thrown at him.

But he also realised one more thing: that it was over now. Now all things are said and done and for once in his life he stands with both feet right on the ground. Yes, it is a setback, yes, it hurts, yes, it is hard. But it is also the clearest he’s felt in years. Finally, he knows what the doesn’t want and what Thomas might need.

He’s at the bottom and he’s working his way back up. He doesn’t show it to the others yet. He doesn’t interact much with Patton, gets along with others better and lets them believe he was still upset with Patton for everything that has happened.

Is it fair, one asks? No, it is not, he’d answer if someone would ask. But it is also not fair how Patton got away with a lot of shit only because no one dared to talk back to him. Himself included. He should have spoken up sooner but alas. The past can’t be changed and finally he feels ready to move on forward.

And in that task he starts to watch everyone a bit closer. Observe a little better, listen a tiny bit harder. And my, it makes all the difference. He’s starting to understand where everything went bad, to see how they made each other and in addition Thomas miserable. He sees how the original “light” sides played each other in a corner, three edges of a triangle, all opposed, all too extreme for each other, eradicating nuance and moderation between them over decades and decades of living together. He sees how the original “dark” sides fall out more and more with each other. He sees that their bond, forged by exclusion and otherness, was breaking bit by bit, as they all are pulled into more and more different directions.

And then of course he notices him. He sees the subtleness of his suave comments. The way he forces himself to make it seem like nothing of it affects him all. He sees the lingering looks he believes to be hidden. He sees the longing of connection, of something true and stable.

He isn’t sure how he should approach him. There are a few opportunities as of late; after the first meeting with Nico, the little song he shared with Patton. He takes none of them.

In the end, it is a normal afternoon when it happens. He goes down to the living room in the search for a snack when he sees him sitting at the table. His hair is messy, face close to a paper, which was laying on the table. Virgil is holed up in his room, Patton and Logan stuck in the Library of Thomas’ Memory reorganizing the latest short time experiences, Remus creating chaos and anarchy in the Imagination. And he himself is supposed to work on the next script. So, no one should be here. He should be alone and free to worry about his work and be allowed to not focus on the mask he has put up around all of them.

But well, things don’t always go as planned, he thinks with a smirk and saunters over to the table and pulls out the chair in front of the other side.

Gold glints in his eyes as he looks up in shock. He has not expected him and tries to recover the mask but he doesn’t let him. He reaches for he paper in front of him and takes it. Lazily he looks over the words, sees that it is a schedule he must be review for Logan and raises his eyebrow.

“So Logan wants your help with scheduling?” he asks.

The other hisses and grabs the schedule back from him. Then the mask slowly slips back on, the face turning into the slight annoyed and bored expression it always carried and he looks at his gloved fingers.

“And naturally that is any of your business because...?” he says with lazy snarl.

He laughes. The others eyes dart over his face. He knows that he cannot read him. He knows his mask has been better than his.

“Deceit, honey,” Roman hums and leans his head on his had as he sets his elbow on the table, “I thought you were smarter than this.”

Panic sets in. Roman knows Janus cannot flee but he sees that he sure as hell wants to flee.

“Don’t you think about it.”

With a gulp the other replies: “I wouldn’t know what you mean.”

Roman sighs. He looks at Janus’ hands and then back up to the snake. Something changes. Roman can see that suddenly something changes in Janus’ perception of him and he knows he has a chance to finally make a change.

“It’s time for a break.”

He says it and scenes of Janus standing with Patton in the kitchen as the cook and clean the dishes, Janus picking up Virgil’s shoes and putting them away, Janus laying out Logan’s notpad and favourite pen on the kitchen table before the latter gets to his brainstorm session, Janus catching one of Remus’ knives from another Rube-Goldberg-Machine he’s building, play in front of his eye.

Janus hesitates.

“I took one only thirty minutes ago,” he says.

“I wish I could believe you.”

“Pardon me?”

“What time is it now?”

Janus hesitates again. Roman’s features soften. He can wait. He’s become quite good at waiting lately and he doesn’t mind to prove that to Janus now.

It is enough. Janus answers.

“It is 11.”

Roman knows his expression gets even softer. Janus blinks. He realises his mistake and his thoughts shuffle. Roman stops them as he stretches his hand out.

“It’s 2.30,” Roman says very, very gently.

He looks at him and closes his eyes with a smile when he finally puts his hand in his.

“There we go,” he whispers and lets his warmth seep into Janus body. “Let’s go to my room. I’ve got a nice relaxing bath ready for you, your snakiness.”

“Do you now?”

There is mirth in Janus voice.

“I do indeed,” Roman laughs and pulls the pliant snake up to his feet.

Something in his chest hammers hard and he catches Janus’ snake eye. It is dilated and curious on him. He thinks about the mistakes he made. About the pile he’s amassed over the years and years, the insults and jabs he would never be able to take back.

He thinks about the way he has pained him for years and years without thinking twice about it.

“We’re both familiar with failure,” it comes suddenly from Janus.

Roman glimpses over his shoulder to him. He stares at the floor. Maybe a tinge of regret on the blush of his human cheek.

“We both haven’t learnt from our mistakes. We certainly can’t move on.”

And at once Roman’s chest feels light. He inhales. And for once it reaches his lungs, his belly, his veins, his feet. And he smiles.

He genuinely smiles.

“We can. I think we can-” he pulls him closer and begins to sink them both into his room - “Janus.”

___

Taglist:

@vexelore

@exhaustedfander

@alexisrealgay

@wolfs-feder

@just-a-neoclassical-painting

@winter-jay-official

@a-ghostlight-for-roman

@mychemically-imbalanced-romance

@whattheremus

@regalredrose

@spellingwillbethedeathofme

@sarenicide

[titanicfreija]

Revealed

Freija and Sunny seemed to figure out that Thomas didn't like what he found at all. Mercifully, they didn't ask and instead they left for the crucible as soon as they were settled with Thomas's safety. 

Rex didn't allow Sunny to transfer the data, likely unwilling to share something so intimate but coincidentally sparing Thomas the embarrassment.

While he read and scanned and skimmed, he wondered what kind of attitude he should take about any of it. Freija had been right about how weird it felt to know someone so close and yet never have met them. Him and not. 

He felt sorry for the guy and couldn't help wondering if it counted as self-pity.

And so Thomas, undeniably the warlock he was, wrote a biographical essay on his first life. He might as well let his friends in on the fun. Sunny would love speculating with him. So would Rex.

~

""I wish I was a Titan," says the guy who writes three-page papers for fun," Freija mocked, sitting heavily and studying the paper packet. "Got a short version?"

"No. You'll have to learn this one by osmosis. You do great like that, you'll be fine."

Freija curled up on the couch to let her Ghost perch and read. "Sunny said that whistle blowing was an industry term where someone finds fucky stuff and tells someone important enough to fix it."

"I didn't say it like that."

Thomas couldn't really correct Sunny and he knew Freija probably understood better than it sounded like she did. "Did she tell you that it got people killed?"

"No, but the word "industry", from what I can tell, has pretty much only ever meant getting people killed. Everything driving "industry" mowed people down like I do."

"Yeah, well." He didn't like how close to right she was. "Pretty much. And whistleblowers tend to be the guys that point out the more fucked up things."

The Warlock sat next to Freija, burrowed into the back of the couch, and heaved a long sigh. "How much do you know about the exos?"

She gestured vaguely at Three's wall. "Robot people. Radiolarium fluid. Uhh… I can keep playing word associate in here but it would be better if you just told me what you're getting at."

Thomas nodded and picked up his tea. "The earliest experiments were the stuff of the bad guys in stories, just ridiculously, cartoonishly evil."

Freija nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue. 

"Reflect, if you would, on the fact that the things Braytech did were regarded as miracles."

Freija made a noise, but clearly didn't get it. 

"I failed," he said. "Or if I didn't fail, I didn't stop anything and the perpetrators never saw justice."

"Well. No. He's a head in a basement on a frozen moon," Freija said, but she got it a little better. "So did they kill you? For snitching?"

"Worse." Thomas flipped through the binder he'd made of information. "There's three exposé articles in here about how poor Ambros must be out of his mind, several about investigations turning up nothing. He got fired, but then he got blacklisted. And he tried to tell everyone and that just made him sound crazier. I wouldn't believe this guy, either. Got bullied out of every forum except for conspiracy-based communities."

He looked to Sunny with a curious frown. "What is that server room, anyway? For the data I got, you'd think they were trying to hold memories."

Sunny answered. "Social Media gained and lost popularity a few times after its invention, and most times saw some effort in centralizing somehow. This was one of them. Likely even another Braytech work. Personally, I think Braytech killed you. After several years of one guy still getting attention, even if it was just to roll their eyes, they could have wanted to silence him."

"It's easy to see the despair," Rex countered.

"Wait, what?" Freija said. "Why is it a question? What happened?"

Thomas watched the ceiling  rather than look at any of them. "They found him in his apartment with his brains on the wall. Apparently sitting on his knees with the gun in his mouth when he pulled the trigger. He put up a plastic sheet to make cleanup easier."

"Killed himself?" Freija asked. "Or executed?"

"Everything points to suicide, but that could have been forced on him, too," Thomas said uncomfortably. "I figured you guys would have fun discussing which was more likely. Take the edge off it, hearing you and Sunny talk about it."

"We're gonna have shitty endings," Freija said. "I was massacred and left out, you offed yourself and got a proper funeral. I didn't have to dig myself up. I can't even decide how to feel about that, it just seems like I should be grateful for that luck but it feels like I wasn't mourned, just because no one knew they needed to."

"Yeah, this feels weird," Thomas said. "And here I blamed your thing with your feelings. Figured the discomfort was just that and you were being squirmy about it, but this really does feel weird."

"That's not going to stop," Freija told him. "At least yours doesn't make you feel like you shouldn't exist."

Thomas cocked his head to a side and considered it. "No. I feel like he got a second chance with me. You feel like you shouldn't exist? Like she shouldn't have died?"

"She would be alive right now, probably with a wife and toddler," Freija sighed. 

"She would be in the wilds of Earth, guiding mortals and protecting her sisters," Sunny argued lightly. "She had no guarantee of a long life. It's just that her killers weren't who we expected." She turned pointedly back to Thomas. "You feel like Ambros's second chance for what?"

Thomas laughed and glanced at Rex. "To spend at least some of my life building something good instead of trying to stop the inexorable evil. Let other people, the ones built for it, fight to defend what I'm building." He looked directly at Rex. "Like letting the Titan do her job while I rewire a power adapter."

"I'm moving my vote to autocide," Sunny said softly. "Found a coinciding event that probably hurt him badly enough to do it."

"Oh?" Freija rolled her head back. 

Thomas gestured at his information packet. "He died maybe a few months after the announcement of the Exo program's wider availability, and several articles about the painful progress and loss they persevered through– essentially proving what he said to be true, except they painted it to look like things that happened to Braytech instead of the people they did it to. They vaguely mentioned internal sabotage, and that's the closest they get to mentioning me. There's only a little in the way of ethics discussions, but it looks like, from the sound of everything I found in any archives, the general reaction was that you can't make an omelet without cracking some eggs."

"What?" Freija laughed. "Where do you get these lines?"

"Ambros liked old books." He wagged his datapad. "Apparently. It means that there's only so much you can do without damage, and sometimes that damage is worth the end result. So all the torture and death were worth Exos, as far as the general public was concerned."

"Ah." Freija turned her eyes to the ceiling. "Yeah, that's fucked up. So, going by timing, he probably did?"

"Yeah. Screamed until his voice dried up. Then everyone started singing it. He couldn't take it anymore." Thomas looked skyward and frowned silently. 

Freija waited for him to look back but he didn't. "Did you want me to leave you alone?" 

"Nah. Glad you're here. You don't have to talk." 

She nodded slowly, but clearly didn't understand. Sunny settled into the crook of her neck and shoulder, and she looked to the information packet he'd given them. 

"He had kids?" Freija asked, stealing a look at his face but refusing to meet his eye. She couldn't keep the horror out of her expression.

He didn't mind– inviting her here for sensitivity would make him a fool. "Two sons. They abandoned him after a while. I didn't track the line, I figured that it wouldn't give me anything I wanted, no matter what I found. If they're still alive, they're so many generations down and post-collapse, there's only guessing by names. If they're not, then I find out my bloodline ended. Just better to leave that mystery alone."

"I guess I got lucky," Freija mumbled. "No questions here."

Thomas sipped his tea as he mulled the thoughts. "See, we feel opposite, there. I would have been sad to find out about the end of my bloodline."

"I feel like I'd have been abandoning them, dying and leaving them behind," she said with a single shoulder shrug. 

He nodded and smiled again. "I kind of like how differently we feel about this, it's a fun study."

Freija brushed him off with a low grunt. Flipping through the packet, she found something that made her sneer. "Promising," she quoted scathingly. "Yeah, promising. Talking about your rise and downfall. Same magazine that ran the exposé about how crazy he was. What bullshit." She tossed the packet on the table. "Yeah, this kicks me in the sense of justice. Wanna go shoot Clovis's labs on Europa in front of him?"

Thomas smiled, seeing the affection for what it was, and he stood up. "Normally, I wouldn't, but I think I'll see if helping you satisfy this urge will make me feel better."

Request

Communication

The Database

Something Else

Campfire Stories

Jealousy 

Bickering 

Revealed

[yellowocaballero]

You don't know how excited I am for whatever your Trigun fic turns out to be. Are you going for the coffee shop idea you mentioned or something else? (Either is good, I'm just curious)

Something very different! And something!! Super!!! Super fucking!! Super fucking predictable!!!!!!!! Super predictable!!!!!!!

I'm also an idiot who is a) obsessing over it and b) very happy with it. It's a joy to write, it's a big writing challenge for me, and it's funny as hell. It's like 60k but will probably look closer to 70k by the time it's done. I have so much other shit I need to do but I'm just writing it instead lmfao. Y'all want a teaser? You're getting it. I'm vibrating.

Teaser teaser teaser under the cut.

The town was empty.

Not abandoned, as more and more towns were, but empty. The town - ‘Temperance’, cute - was as small as they got, little more than a circle of buildings huddling in safety from the sandstorms and scattered specks of Thomas ranches and worm farms. Solitary homes usually ended up buried under sand dunes, so very few people on Gunsmoke lived outside of closely knit settlements. Heartwarming display of human communalism, but it rarely left them friendly towards outsiders. This was convenient and inconvenient. People had that habit.

No children played in the square. All windows were closed, and no old men with leathery skin sat on their porches and baked in the sun. It was later in the afternoon, a time when most people were scurrying underneath the calming sun running their errands or leaning against adobe walls in the shade and chatting, but the dirt-packed streets were empty. It was almost worrying. Ghost towns loomed on every horizon, frozen memorials to hundreds dead, and life was never a guarantee on Gunsmoke. But the air was fresh and fragrant, and there were no more dead than usual.

The saloon was empty. That cinched it: the town could be burning down and there would still be a drunk in the saloon. Somewhere, something more interesting than alcohol was happening. Excellent time to liberate some spare water, but he wasn’t that kind of man.

The mystery solved itself eventually, as mysteries usually did. As he approached the outskirts of the town - so, as he reached the end of the long Main Street - distant sound began to hit his ears. It was a crowd, rumbling with excitement and the characteristic tinny cry of somebody taking bets. It didn’t sound like a very large crowd, but it wasn’t a very large town.

All fifty townies, more or less, were crowded in a circle outside of the stone town walls. Men, women, and children all. They huddled together, gawking with wide eyes and uselessly flapping mouths as they watched their own private spectacle unfold. The loudest voice was, as always, the bookie, waving his small notepad above the heads of his neighbors as jangling silver coins fell into his outstretched hand. Children hovered around the edges of the crowd, straining on their tiptoes to get a better look of the proceedings.

“Just walk away,” the proceedings said. “Walk away! I don’t want to hurt you!”

Thankfully, six feet and solid bulk got you pretty far. He peered over the heads of the assembly, finally picking out the two figures in the center of the ring of townies. Two men, both young and wiry with rancher muscle. One was clearly a herder - a young man who spent his days bumming around in the sand with his friends lassoing Thomases until he married and settled down as a ranchhand or worm farmer. The other was far shabbier and wilder, with tattered denim jeans and shaggy hair. The unkempt man didn’t want to hurt anybody; the herder was far less cautious. Their bodies were angled towards the guns on their hips, ready to draw at a moment’s jump. Of course. 

Next to him, a very short woman with close-cropped dark blue hair was almost hopping up and down in rage. “I can’t see anything! Darn it, I can’t see! Quick, what are they doing?”

The giant of a woman standing next to her shaded her eyes against the setting sun, watching the proceedings easily. “They’re just standin’ there, ma’am. Jeez, you think they’re gonna make a move soon? I’m gettin’ kinda hungry.”

“If they kill each other I’m losing every inch of my appetite, that’s for sure.” The short woman withdrew a notebook and started scribbling furiously. Literate. Uncommon in towns like this - but the woman clearly wasn’t from a town like this. “Bounty Hunter Showdown! No, that makes it sound as if they’re both bounty hunters. Bounty Hunter Catches Crook! Double Death Shootout In - where are we?”

“Gee, I really don’t know!”

“Double Death Shootout In God Knows Where! So…average Wednesday.” The short woman tapped her pencil obnoxiously against the paper. “I’m not sure this is newsworthy.”

“If death isn’t newsworthy,” the tall woman asked, “then what is?”

“I’m certain it’ll be newsworthy if this guy did something interesting.” The short woman cupped her hands around her mouth, and without a single ounce of shame yelled, “Hey! Sir! What crime did you commit!”

“All I did was take a Thomas!” The criminal yelled back. Wow. That worked. “I didn’t do nothing wrong, it was just a Thomas -”

“Theft is something wrong,” the short woman said severely. “Are you sure you didn’t do anything more newsworthy?”

“Are you some kind of reporter?” The herder asked, delighted. “You gonna put my name in the paper for killing this guy, Miss? I can buy three Thomases with that bounty -”

“Just let me go,” the criminal pleaded, “I didn’t do nothing, swear!”

The short woman snapped her notebook shut. “Never mind. Nothing’s happening here that Gunsmoke would be interested in. Make note of that, Milly: life is about what’s interesting.”

“Yes, ma’am! You’re so smart!”

“Just shoot each other!” An old man yelled. The crowd cheered. 

“This planet is full of psychopaths,” Knives said. 

The short woman gasped in affront. He could have been talking about the old man. It was her own fault if he thought he was talking about her. “Excuse you? Pardon me? What did you say? Psychopath?”

Knives ignored her. The shit talking had just ramped up the tension between the two men, and their hands were drifting closer to their guns. The bounty was sweating hard, chest almost heaving with anxiety. The bounty hunter of the day - the herder with delusions of grandeur - was more confident, almost cocky. He was the virtuous one. The aggressor. That meant he would win the day. The good guy always won. He didn’t understand that he was in just as much danger as his opponent. 

Nobody won fights like these. 

Their hands drifted closer. Knives pushed through the crowd, not bothering to mutter apologies to the women in aprons and old men he pushed aside. The crowd fell silent, sensing the approaching moment of truth. Fingers twitched…

“Excuse me. Hold, please. Thanks.” 

The crowd sucked in a breath.

Knives stood between the two men, raising his free hand demonstratively in the air. Best to set an example. The two men gawked at him, hands frozen above their guns. Close enough.

“Back off!” the herder snapped. “This is my bounty! You tryin’a steal it out, stranger?”

“I don’t even carry a gun,” Knives said plainly. He carefully opened up his coat a little, showing off his empty belt. He shook his bag in his other hand. “See? Unarmed. Couldn’t hurt you if I tried. I’m just a doctor.”

“I don’t care if you’re a worm, you better get the fuck out of my way -”

“To do what? Shoot this man?” Knives slouched, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a thumb. “Do you have any idea how many shootouts end with both parties injured? Eighty percent. Twenty percent of the time it’s a double death draw. Are three Thomases worth your life?”

“That’s a bet I’m willing to take.” Of course he was. The herder was twenty at best. Twenty year olds thought they wouldn’t die if a Chief Wyrm ate them. “I can eat an injury. Now if you don’t move and stop trying to steal my bounty I’ll shoot ya too!”

But Knives just raised an eyebrow. Distantly, he saw the short woman push through the crowd and burst into the front line, scribbling furiously on her notebook. At least somebody was getting something interesting out of this. “In ancient wars, death by an infected wound was far deadlier than the battlefield. I’ve seen even the slightest bullet scratches turn gangrenous. Once had to chop off a man’s leg with a penknife.” Knives flicked his metal arm, letting the sound ring through the silent valley. “What do you think happened to my arm? One. Little. Duel.”

“I’m a good aim,” the bounty said furiously, as if he was possibly helping. “I’ll give as good as I get, asshole! You’re dead, you hear me!”

“You can stop talking.”

The herder was anxious now. Good. He tried to cover up his anxiety with a grin, flexing his hand near his gun. Poky little thing. Good shot for dive bombing predatory bugs. High accuracy, with a penetrative caliber. He could really hurt someone with it. Knives wondered if he knew that. “Then you’ll just patch me up, Doc. Right?”

 “Sure,” Knives said blandly. “Cost you about…oh, the price of three Thomases. That a price you’re willing to pay?”

The herder was silent. His eyes flickered towards the crowd - to the only person in the crowd who looked so stressed that she was about to be sick. A young, slight woman standing at the very forefront of the crowd, with a slightly rounded stomach.

“Need the money,” Knives said softly, “Don’t you?”

The herder drew. A half-second later, the bounty drew too.

The herder squeezed the trigger, and…

Nothing happened. The herder hadn’t squeezed the trigger at all: his finger had pressed through empty air, the herder watching in shock as the trigger fell off his gun. 

Behind Knives, a gun clicked. He looked backwards to see the bounty squeeze his trigger again and again to no avail. The hammer of his gun was stuck in place, jammed outwards and refusing to click back and fire the gun.

“Of course,” Knives said, “about twenty percent of duels end in weapon dysfunction. You two should take better care of your guns.”

The bounty made a break for it. He pushed through the crowd and disappeared back into the city, running as if the fires of hell itself were on his heels, and Knives knew that he was fetching his things and making a hasty run out of town. No townsperson followed to try and push their own luck. Maybe they all had the Christmas spirit. They couldn’t be afraid of any divine retribution. Guns misfired all the time. Triggers collapsed. Young men like that didn’t take very good care of their guns. Too busy acting immortal. 

Half the crowd watched Knives warily, clearly trying to discern if he had done anything. Knives glowered at them back, offended at the sheer implication that he had done the impossible and somehow sabotaged two guns at a distance. Invisibly. With one hand occupied and the other in the air. More of the crowd sighed in relief, glad that there would be no blood on the sand today. The children and teenagers were crushed with disappointment. How difficult to be them. The short woman was practically hopping with excitement as she scribbled on her notepad. The tall woman was clapping enthusiastically, as if Knives had done something.

“Bravo!” the tall woman yelled. “Happy ending for everyone!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Knives turned to the pregnant woman. “Want a check-up, ma’am?”

“Woo-hoo!”

The woman accepted the check-up. She wasn’t an idiot. Unlike her boyfriend.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Miami Vice: Calderone's Return (Glaser & Colla, 1985)

This series has been defined in part by its maddening roster of guest stars, with the likes of Bruce Willis, Pam Grier and Dennis Farina in memorable turns, to name a few. I'm into the second season now*, but I wanted to come back to this one, as one guest star in particular has lingered in my memory: Jim Zubiena, who plays the assassin hired by Calderone to a number of his enemies, including Crockett. Zubiena, a professional shooter initially hired to teach Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas proper weapons handling**, was pushed into the role by Michael Mann, and his non-actor background plays a big part in his effectiveness in the role. Those other guest stars bring to their roles their presence, bringing their personalities and star qualities to the material. One of the reasons Willis is so memorable in his episode is that his formidable charisma is applied to a character so unheroic. (A weapons dealer who sells to terrorists and beats his wife. Just a bad guy in all respects.)

Zubiena does not have the same star qualities, so instead he brings a certain absence, of charisma, of distinguishing features, leaving only an eerie blankness. No humanity, all killer instinct and craft, a pure instrument of death. His appearance, curly hair, shooting glasses and a slight smile, causes any facial features to recede into the nondescript. His lack of allegiances, having worked every side of every conflict, give him a sense of total amorality. Even his weapons handling (the deployment of the Mozambique drill, heretofore unseen on television, and holding guns overhand to control the recoil) is simultaneously unusual and practical, operating on a hidden logic not spelled out to the audience, like the imminence of death in an Italian horror movie. Even when he's not on screen, he haunts the proceedings, a spectral presence with an unsettling void at his centre.

Unlike Brother's Keeper, this aired in two parts, with an interesting diptych structure, both halves being punctuated by off-kilter, unceromonious violence and ending with songs featuring soaring vocals (Russ Ballard's "Voices" in the first part, Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to Do With It?" in the second). There is plenty to enjoy in both, but as Zubiena only appears in the first, and the second depends on a relationship between Tubbs and Calderone's daughter that can't be fully fleshed out in the runtime, I can't help but prefer the earlier half.

*I've found the series almost uniformly excellent, with only two subpar episodes so far. "Made for Each Other", which makes the mistake of foregrounding the comic relief characters of Switek and Zito and as such plays with little tension, although it does provide the scene where Noogie's stripper girlfriend grabs him by the ears and shouts in his face "I wanna see Mickey Mouse!" And "Nobody Lives Forever", in which Crockett (re)learns the age old lesson of putting one's bros before their hoes, and which has the misfortune of coming after "The Home Invaders", which features more unpredictable and sadistic villains (and shows Castillo crack a case in real time), and before "Evan", which explores Crockett's vulnerability much more interestingly and tackling the subject of homophobia with unexpected sensitivity.

**Apparently Johnson took to it better than Thomas, and this was a motivation behind the latter's weapons of choice. You can hear Zubiena talk about the experience here.

[chaoticgremlinwholikescheese]

For memorial day, I want to remember my veterans (the veterans I researched). I'm going to put their names and one fact that stuck with me below.

Arthur Clifford Kimber - He named all three of the planes he flew after his best friend Nick.

Hiram Baker Fisher J.r - He died two days before being comissioned.

Fritz Barkan J.r. - He left behind a wife named Elizabeth Reynolds.

William M. Bassett - He was a theater techie, and had a patent for a dolly system.

Howard D. Benson - He was an athlete and part of the student government.

Jack W. Bleasdale - He did theater in highschool. He died in a POW camp, leaving behind a wife named Ellaoise.

Russell V. Braga - The last news his family received was from his friend saying they had been separated during battle in Iwo Jima.

Julian G. Burnette J.r. - He was only 22 when he died.

Samuel L. Carson - He wrote home on the day he died that his orders to come home had finally come through.

Bernard J. Casaurang - He was president of the high school glee club and worked as an actor.

William A. Cashin - He died while in pilot training.

Harvey B. Clarke - He was a cheerleader, star athlete, and popular guy in highschool. He worked as a figher fighter.

Deane P. Clementson - His plane had been damaged on a past mission. Nevertheless he and his crew accepted another mission, which would be his last.

Frederick B. Cooley - He did boxing.

George B. Culiver - He was killed at Anzio. I don't have much information on him, which saddens me.

Norman B. Dahlin - He worked as a medical administrative corps officer before joining the airforce.

J.R. (Frank) Dally - He graduated in 1944. I don't have much information on him either.

Albert D. Davies - He fought in India and Africa. He was killed in a transport plane crash in the US after coming home.

Morian C. Deal - He worked as a butcher with his father at their family butchery.

Phillip S. Doty - He died of severe burns. He suffered for several months before dying.

Henry Howard Estes - He was listed as missing before being declared KIA

Glen D. Faris - He was part of the royal canadian air force. He was only 19 when he died.

James R. Field - He died as a POW of preventable illnesses.

John D. Fredericks III - He was a huge part of highschool student government. He was killed by machine gun fire.

George E. Fuchs - He was a star football player in high school. He had a really nice smile.

Thomas D. Gorman - Notice of his death arrived only a few days after both his brother and father were released from the military.

Robert W. Griggs J.r. - He was part of an acapella group and worked as an actor.

William R. Gunther - He was a star basketball player.

Alvin W. Harroun - He went to Stanford University and was part of Delta Upsilon fraternity.

Bryson R. Hills - His plane was called ‘The Flaming Mayme’.

Michael K. Hite - He was part of the marines. I know very little about him.

Robert C. Hoffman - I don't know anything about Robert besides his name. I wish I knew more.

Theodore B. Holmes - He had a daughter named Carolyn who was almost two when he died.

William H. Houston - He worked as a medic in the airforce.

Jack E. Howell - He wanted to be a pediatrician.

Paul H. Jungermann - He was a physical therapist and managed two floors of the hospital he worked in.

Donald A. Kelly - He worked with amphibious vehicles (ducks). He was killed in a car crash.

Lowell F. Kuehnle - He was listed as missing in action before being declared KIA.

Emil H. Kunz - He was an aviation teacher.

Wilbur C. Lauridsen - He was part of the Palo Alto amatauer radio association, and they still celebrate his life.

Adelbert (Jack) Lawrence - He played basketball and was in the glee club.

Norton Le Goullon - He had four siblings.

Sidney Levy Jr. - He was a Sea Scout and an air raid messenger.

Andrew E. Lincoln - He was a sea scout. He was only 18 when he died.

William L. Longmire - He was a POW and died of preventable illnesses.

Herbert C. Love - He was killed in Normandy after D-Day.

Louis M. Love - He was a thespian. He was ranked number one in an aviation class of 2500 cadets.

Wendell H. Marlowe - He was killed on Christmas.

Phil E. Mattingly - His family held out hope for years that he was still alive despite being MIA. He was declared dead in 1946.

Virginia Ruth Mayer - Her mother worked as a nurse during WWI, and Virginia followed in her footsteps.

Robert V. Mitchell - I don't know much about his life. In his photos, he looks kind.

William H. Moody - He went by Howie.

Eugene L. Morgan - He has the same birthday as me. He was born 7/17/1917

Hugh H. Morris - He was a swimmer.

Karl E. Miller - He died of dysentery as a POW.

William C. Muldoon - He was executed with his crew when they crashed in enemy territory.

Margaret N. Neubauer - She was born in Santiago, Chile

David J. Nolan - He worked as an actor.

Charles A. Norby - His plane was called ‘Shack Rat’. He was murdered in cold blood by a Nazi soldier after he became a German POW.

Frederick H. Palmer - His plane was named the ‘Wing Dinger’.

Harold H. Piggott - He was popular in highschool and had the affectionate nickname 'Piggy'.

Durham W. Porter Jr. - He was a boy scout.

Forrest Wayne Reeves Jr - He was a civilian construction worker on a military base when he was killed.

Robert H. Reeves - When he died, he left behind a 13 month old son.

Alfred J. Siverstein - He majored in art during college. He went by the nickname 'Bud'.

Robert E. Slater - He was on the USS Bonefish, a submarine which still has not been found.

Carl W. Stuke Jr. - He lived in Chile for a while.

Donald J. Stuke - He is buried next to his brother Carl.

Lyle A. Taggart - In high school, He was voted most popular guy in 1939, as well as best dancer (boy).

James F. Taylor - I know nothing about him besides his name. I hope his family remembers him.

Arthur D. Wagner - He was a mathematics major in college.

Andrew G. Webb - He was an actor and a star basketball player in high school.

Howard C. Weller - He was part of his high school choir, and came back to sing with them while he was on military leave.

John Austin Widsteen - His body was not identified and he was not formerly buried until six decades after his death.

Frederick M. Yamamoto - He was so loved and respected. He was smart, dedicated, and died fighting for a country that didn't fight for him.

Albert T. Lavers Jr. - When he died, he left behind a 3 year old daughter named Suzanne.

Marcus Paul Merner - He played guitar.

William Henry Suffern Jr. -  He graduated from Paly in 1947.

Brian Adam - He was an artist.

Billie M. Bedsworth - He lost his life saving his friend. The comments on his memorial page show that he was so loved.

Arthur F. Gleim Jr. - He was part of the sound crew, audio visual club, and audio visual crew in high school.

Roger C. Hallberg - His family is still looking for closure to this day. He was last seen wearing a wrist watch and his wedding ring.

Barry ‘Buck’ Dean Kingman - He was a stand up guy. Everyone I've spoken to about him adored him. He could have done so much if his life wasn't taken during a war he didn't believe him.

Richard Arlan Stone - He was killed when he stayed behind to protect wounded soldiers.

Thomas L. Vendelin - He wanted to be the greatest drummer the world had ever seen.

If you'd like to read more about any of these people, feel free to read the (unedited) book!

[chocoenvy]

*~Masterlist~*

*~Masterlist Part Two

“Huh, you and I are both travelers from another world. That our paths have crossed here is no accident, but the will of fate.”

This Month's Recommendation: Say My Name Part Two

*~ Such a Kind God, Such a Cruel God (Bad Habits die hard and your acolytes witness it in the worst way)

*~ I Hate that I still care about you 1 2 3 (In which you still care for those that hurt you until they hurt someone else)

*~ You Play the Lyre for Them (Venti, Zhongli, Ei, and Jean)

*~ ASKDFASDHKJK HUGS??? (Inazuma) (Liyue) (You hug people in different nations)

*~ The skies are empty, the stars are gone, (Finding your ambition. Not all is lost.)

*~ Singing your heart out, they feel their heart rates spike (You love to sing and your acolytes hear you)

*~ Nothing Feels Real, are You even You Anymore? (Slight eldritch darling. You don't belong in Teyvat, so your body forces you to fit)

*~ Suspiciously left alone in a room... are they planning something? (Your acolytes are secretly listening to you sing but you had started to get suspicious of them...)

*~ TRANS DARLING (You were born in the wrong body. All they know and care about is that you look like their god and are trying to look like their god's gender)

*~ More Trans Darling Headcannons (You become more comfortable and accepted in Teyvat)

*~ Playing God 1 2 3 4 (Where your tongue was taken from you from your supposed "devout followers")

*~ Dancing with Aether (At a gala you become nervious, so he helps you)

*~ General SAGAU Ganyu Headcannons

*~ Your god smiles upon you in favor (Puppet!au drawing)

*~ Singing and loving with Venti

*~ The Whole of Teyvat will Remember (Fatui comforting Tongueless reader who liked to sing)

*~ General Rosaria SAGAU Headcannons

*~ Do you regret anything? (Soft au vs. Villain au acolytes)

*~ A love letter "Dear Eula," (Eula x reader <3)

*~ "Even if you're not as devout as others your worth is still the same to me." (Npcs and how they'd react to you)

*~ First "I love you"s (Unofficial epilogue to Playing God. You get your tongue back)

*~ You're safe now (Soft au and Villain au darling meet. Headcannons.)

*~ Unlucky you, smiling through it all (Unlucky reader and how the cult reacts to them)

*~ Letting go of Grudges and enjoying the world around you (You're a shut-in that finally allowed yourself to interact with Kaeya, Thoma, and Chongyun (separate)

*~ Sorry's aren't enough (Fatui!au, unofficial extension of Playing God. You're singing and dancing with the Fatui when the archons find you)

*~ Reader making fun of the archons on their death bed (Villain!au, crack)

*~ Consort!Tsaritsa: Proposal (Tsaritsa x reader <3)

*~ Comfort with the gods (Venti, Zhongli, and Ei comfort <3)

*~ Artist!Reader sketching their acolytes (Thoma, Childe, and Xiao's reactions when they find you've drawn them)

*~ Polycule relationship headcannons (Zhongli, Childe, Diluc, Kaeya, Thoma, Itto being in a relationship with each other and you)

*~ Reader who's confident in their body (Zhongli, Kaeya, Beidou)

*~ Memories belonging to another world but never fading (Reader who had a lover before coming to Teyvat. Fatui!au)

*~ Physical catalyst (Reader with a gun)

*~ Memories carried over to the next world and beyond &lt;3 (reader manages to bring their lover to Teyvat.)

*~ Unbearable cuteness (Reader can turn into a cute animal)

*~ Two Gods 1 (alt ending) 2 3 4 5 (Twin au. Where you and your twin get transported to Teyvat)

*~ The thirst book (Reader is a simp and get exposed for their thirst)

*~ Sexy thief reader &lt;3 1 2 (villain au but reader is a sexy thief)

*~ Random twin au headcannons

*~ Consort!Aether headcannons

*~ Playing God au (Very angsty, reader starts a war with the archons to protect Snezhnaya)

*~ Sexy thief god being a sucker for chaos ("Commit flirtatious blasphemy")

*~ Paimon favoritism

*~ Sexy thief reader with a catalyst (Slimes teach you to wield the elements <3)

*~ Child!God reader Headcannons 1 & 2(god is a child)

*~ Singing musicals with the archons

*~ Hauntings Long Forgiven (Reader is a ghost and doesn't remember why they were killed. Ei and Yae Miko)

*~ Sexy thief reader drawing <3333 (not by me ily for drawing this you made them look so hot)

*~ Child!God reader studying for a test

*~ Yummy Visions (Child!God reader tries to eat a vision)

*~ Eula and other cryo characters having fun with Child!god in Dragonspine

*~ Child!God Angst (You realize you lost your entire previous life)

*~ Reactions to you favoring Klee (Jean, Zhongli, Ei, Venti, Ningguang, Albedo. Playing god au)

*~ iloveyou (Ei x GN!reader fluff)

*~ What a common phrase (Yan!Darling x reader)

*~ Imposter au vs. Soft au

*~ Do they even remember you? (Child!God Angst, brainrotting over Child!God's future)

*~ God of Beasts Drawing (not by me, done by a beautiful person that i love very much please look at it)

*~ Choco Event Order: Silent I love you (Darling x reader flower au)

*~ Choco Event Order: They Love me, Love me Not (Darling x reader Disney Princess au)

*~ Thieves stolen by the sky (Sexy thief reader x Consort!Albedo)

*~ Choco Event Order: Fallen Leaf, Adorn my Life (Consort!Kazuha x reader)

*~ To Love You (Brainrot of all the characters of Teyvat becoming an amalgamation for only one purpose: To Love You)

*~ Choco Event Order: Everyone thinks I'm crazy, crazy for you oh boy... (Darling au. Darling has planned everything out for your arrival and after. All for you <3)

*~ Choco Event Order: Nothing Lasts Forever (In paradise with Thoma away from your godly responsibilities)

*~ Nurture and Grow (Reader with wings that grow with how many devout followers they have)

*~ Choco Event Order: In Your Palms (Albedo x Eldritch!Reader, you're beautiful you know <3)

*~ Choco Event Order: Blood-Suckin' Love (Albedo x Vampire!reader. Puppet au. Your happy Vampire family + Albedo)

*~ Choco Event Order: It's not like I'm mentally ill! (Childe x reader in denial about their mental issues until Childe sees the remnants of them for himself)

*~ Choco Event Order: Chilly Comfort (The Tsaritsa showing lots of affection to a reader that isn’t used to so much love and attention.)

*~ Choco Event Order: Roles Reversed (Child!reader finds a hidden dungeon in Tenshukaku… with a familiar person in there.)

*~ Choco Event Order: From Dawn to Dusk (You run away to Dawn Winery for a moment of peace and Diluc ends up joining you.)

*~ Choco Event Order: Cold Nights with You (Nights alone with no distractions are always scary, especially after all you’ve went through. Luckily for you, Childe is always willing to comfort you.)

*~ "Call it good judgement, call it passion," (Yanfei is the only sensible on in Teyvat and understands you have to be their god. She helps you bring the other archons to their senses hopefully before any irreversible damage happens)

*~ Choco Event Order: Mischievous Fiend, You and Me (Darling has brought you to this world and you’re admittedly uncomfortable. Until Hu Tao enters your life, and makes it much more interesting.)

*~ Council of Gods 2 (Four different aus - soft/regular, fatui, imposter, and puppet au - meet up and share their experiences.)

*~ Choco Event Order: Fire and Wind makes the Bonfire burn Brighter (Kazuha and Thoma are both your consorts, which comes with a wave of complicated emotions.)

*~ Choco Event Order: Laughter in the Snow (You're a child, not comfortable with the role of god, and so very homesick, but Albedo is comforting.)

*~Choco Event Order: Hostage (Carnage was not a new concept to you, but it wasn’t comforting as the weight of destruction and salvation lay on your shoulders.)

*~Choco Event Order: There's no kindness (Venti x reader villain au angst)

*~Choco Event Order: Bow Before the Messiah (Zhongli x reader villain au angst. Zhongli is not loved)

*~Choco Event Order: Xiao x Reader (Villain au, hurt/comfort)

*~Choco Event Order: Charades (consort!Diluc x sexy thief reader, hurt to comfort/fluffy-ish)

*~Choco Event Order: Life on the Beach (Child!Reader w/ Mom Eula and sibling Klee, pure cuteness)

*~Voice actor reader brainrot (feat.Childe and a lil Zhongli slander)

[levhach]

GHOSTS SEASON 4 TRAILER REVEAL

EDIT: after seeing the trailer that leaked today, I think I’ve definitelyyy misremembered things, either by missing key details or misremembering lines said. So please please take these with a grain of salt! I wrote this a full day after seeing the (very short) teaser so there will be stuff i missed!

As you all probably know by now, at the Edin Tv Festival today it was announced during a talk that Ghosts season 4 was being released in September, and the crowd was shown the exclusive first reveal of the trailer.

Luckily, I was in that crowd! So here’s some of the things I remember for it. spoilers (potentially) below!

none of these are in order btw, just shots that I remember happening :)

The trailer was over a rather chaotic piece of classical music - iirc it was In the Hall of the Mountain King

There is a shot of the plague ghosts running up a large staircase (presumably) in Button House. There is a substance splattered over the walls that looks like a very dark red - potentially blood?

Theres a shot of Mary turning around to face something off camera. The shot is highly saturated (but that may just be normal ghosts colour correcting) and she is standing in an empty grassy field

We see Annie (the ghost who had left before Alison arrived) leaning against a wooden panelled wall, looking worried (?) she is wearing her same maid outfit that we last saw her in

There is a shot of Thomas walking staggering down a small staircase in Button House. There is an effect which means he leaves a sort of “trail” behind him - like in movies when a character takes drugs ( i believe it’s called an echo motion effect). He looks very distressed/shocked and his voice is being played over him walking, also echoing. I can’t remember what he said, but I remember thinking “omg that’s from his death scene!” It’s been a while since i’ve seen the show but if I remembered the quote correctly Thomas may have been having a flashback? EDIT: Someone who was also there said that the voice was actually Alisons voice saying “kiss me thomas”, so maybe it wasn’t a flashback? All the shots were very quick so may memory may not be 100% accurate?

we see Robin outside holding a stone spear. Behind him there are two other cavemen, also holding stone age weapons. They are looking at something off camera - potentially they are going to hunt? We are definitely getting more backstory for Robin :)

halfway through the trailer we cut to Julian sitting on a chair next to his chess board. He says something along the lines of “are you done yet - what, there’s more?!”

we see a shot of Barclay - he’s looking cross and he says “not again!”

the captain uses his stick as a gun again and makes little ‘pew pew’ noises

i’ll add more if I remember anything else but that’s what stood out for me! Looks like we’re getting a very very interesting season!! My initial interpretation was that the ghosts seemed to be coming back to life but my friend (and indeed others at the event i talked to) all seemed to think that was hogwash so who knows!

i’m also making a post summarising some points of interest from the talk itself so check my page for that :)

[laedback-taurus]

She’s Last

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader Word Count: 1.8k A/n: I had this idea while watching the Luca bullet scene, I cut out johns’ bullet to be able to make some changes work.

"Y/N Shelby" As soon as Luca said your name, Tommy's heart stopped. The thought what that bullet could take from him was too much and the only one that could even slightly calm him down was his wife and son.

“I was surprised how easy it was to get in a room with you” Luca Changretta sat on the end of the table in Tommy’s office.

“And now?” Tommy asked, drawing his gun.

“And now?” Luca started “and now you should know, that during the trouble you had earlier on your factory floor, I sent on accomplice into your office in overalls. He found your gun…” He pulled out and handful of bullets “and unloaded it”

Tommy checked his gun and found it unloaded. On by one Luca began lining the bullets up on the table.

“Arthur Shelby” The first bullet.

“Polly Gray” The second.

“Michael Gray” The Third.

“Ada Throne” The Fourth.

“Tommy Shelby” The Fifth.

“And finally,” Tommy heart began to beat rapidly.

“Y/n Shelby” Tommy felt his heart stop, the threat on your life was too much for him but he kept himself composed, determined to not show any reaction to this Italian in front of him.

“None of you will survive” Luca stated as he stood up to look out the office window. “Your level of security is pitiful” he turned to Tommy “I could have killed your wife when she left your home this morning” The fact that they knew your whereabouts made him sick, he thought moving you back to Small Heath would make you even a little bit safer, but they were watching you, the thought of them watching you in your home mad him sick, had they watched you care for his son, do the housework…or had they watched his wife change, that thought alone made his blood boil.

“But you see…” Luca slowly walked closer to Tommy “I want her to be last” Tommy felt like he was about to pass out, his ears rang, and his vision was cloudy, but he didn’t show any emotion, he wouldn’t.

“I want her to be alive after her family and her husband are dead, because my mother says, that this is what will hurt you the most” Tommy stood emotionless, he knew that you seeing him dead or even hearing about it would break you. He knew that you would suffer the realisation that your son would be left with no one after you were gone and that would crush whatever of your soul was left and he couldn’t bear the thought.

“Instead of sending you a black hand, I could’ve had her killed in the night. You don’t know why. But I want you to know why and I wanna suggest to you that we fight this vendetta with honour” Luca explained,

“No civilians, no children” Tommy’s immediate thoughts going to his son who is probably happy at home with you now.

“No police” Luca added.

“Welcome to Birmingham Mr Changretta”

“Grazie”

You had spent most of the day entertaining your son Charlie while waiting for his father to come home. Charlie had grown up in Arrow House so he was having a hard time adjusting to Small Heath, you could tell her was missing his home. You tried your best to keep him occupied with other things like toys or helping you cook dinner for Tommy, his form of helping was sitting on the bench and playing with some spoons. As much as you loved Arrow House it was nice to be with your son in the place you and his father had fallen in love in, its not the most romantic of places but it did hold some very fond memories. You found yourself reminiscing quite a lot while you were back, Tommy was beyond stressed and your barely saw him so lately, all you had was the memories, the one where a young Thomas stood on the doorstep, crumpled flowers in hand and a nervous look on his face, the one where you hugged Tommy goodbye, crying into his chest before he was shipped off the France, the one when he came home from France, a broken man on your doorstep and your favourite, the one where he asked you to be his wife, right after you had pulled a bullet out of his arm, you were still holding the damn thing. And now your son was in that very same house, it felt like everything had come full circle.

“Y/n?” Tommy called out as he entered the small home, he listened closely for a response, but none came. “Charlie?” he called louder this time, looking in rooms as he went, panic slowly setting in, Luca’s threats weighing heavy on his heart.

“Daddy?” at the sound of his son’s small voice, Tommy turned to see him standing at the top of the stairs with his wife right beside him, Charlies small hand gripping the side of his mum’s nightdress and the other rubbing his eye. At the sight of his little family, he let himself relax for the first time all day, they were safe, and he was home with them now, that’s all that mattered.

“Hello Charlie” He smiled at the sight of his sleepy son, dressed ready for bed “looks like I caught you just in time”

“We were just about to pop into bed, weren’t we darling?” You asked your sleepy boy who nodded.

“Will you tuck me in daddy?” He asked sweetly, how could Tommy possibly say no. Charlie noticed his father start to walk up the stairs so he reached his little arms out, waiting for Tommy to pick him up. Tommy scooped him up and started on his way to his son’s room.

“You’re getting big aren’t you” Tommy pointed out his son’s sudden growth which he wasn’t particularly fond about.

“Mummy says I’ll be big and strong like you soon” Charlie pointed out as Tommy laid him down in his bed.

“Is that so?” Tommy smiled, noticing you watching your boys from the doorway.

“Uh huh and maybe I’ll find a beautiful girl like mummy” Charlie said as tommy tucked him in.

“No one is as beautiful as mummy” Tommy pointed out.

“Well maybe I’ll get close” Your son giggled followed by a yawn.

“Goodnight little man, don’t go growing too fast, okay?” Tommy planted a soft kiss on his son’s forehead.

“I’ll try Daddy” Charlie said before closing his eyes, Tommy quietly snuck out of the room where he found you standing in the hallway, a smile resting on your face. Tommy pulled the door shut behind him before he reached out for you, pulling you towards him by your hips.

“What’s wrong love?” you asked, reaching up the caress his cheek. You could always tell when something was bothering him, no matter how hard he’d try to hide it, there was no getting past you.

“Luca showed up at work, threatened me, threatened the family and…” he could bring himself to even say the last part, but you seemed to figure it out.

“Come on, come to bed, we’ll talk there” you softly grabbed his hand and lead him to the small room you shared. You began helping him undress by slipping his coat off and then his suit jacket, hanging them on some hooks on the back of the door. As you did this, he unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, working on his pants next. As he undid the button you approached him from behind, rubbing his bare shoulders softly. He slipped off his pants and turned to face you, you hands now lay on his chest, he placed his hands back onto your hips and lead you back to the bed, he sat on the edge, and you straddled him, beginning to run your fingers through his hair.

“You have to lay low for a bit” He broke the silence, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

“Tommy- “You began to protest.

“No, please listen to me love” he pleaded, looking up at you with the most hopeless looking you’ve seen on him. “He’s been watching you; he always knows where you are and at least here I can have you protected” You could tell by his voice that he was incredibly worried which scared you slightly, you hadn’t seen him this worried since you were in labour.

“I can’t lose you Y/n, I would lose my head, you keep me grounded and without you, I wouldn’t know what to do…I can’t lose you; Charlie can’t lose you” his eyes watered slightly and your heart broke. His hid his face in your chest and you rubbed his back gently as he clung to you, pulling you as close as he physically could.

“You won’t lose me Tommy, you’ll figure this out, you always do my love. I won’t leave the house unless you or someone you approve of is with me alright? I’m not leaving you; I couldn’t bear the thought of you alone” You reassured him, you felt him nod against your chest, you knew he wasn’t convinced, he wouldn’t be until Luca was dead but this was all you could do for now. You sat there for a while before he slowly pulled away, taking your hands in his. He gently ghosted his thumb over your wedding ring, your promise to him.

“let’s get some rest Tommy, you need it” You suggested, and he didn’t object, moving up the bed and guiding you up and into his arms, facing his chest.

You copied his actions from a moment ago and picked up his left hand, ghosting over his wedding band, something you both often did as a reminder of your promise to one another.

“There is something I have to tell you Tommy, I should wait but you need to know” you started, looking up at him, his tired eyes looking back at you. “Soon, we’ll be a family of four”

“I hope it’s a girl” was all he said before he drifted off to sleep with his pregnant wife in his arms and his son outside their door, building up the courage to ask if he could sleep with them.