#I HATE THIS DAMN PLACE SO MUCH
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garbage noise▓▒░
I'm cursed. Some @#$^ing witch has hexed me. I have no other idea why the #%^ this is happening.
I had almost two days without any power, putting my aquariums at risk since no power = no heat. It's the middle of WINTER, and the entire grid here failed, leaving almost a million people without any power. I managed to keep the tanks at stable levels by using candles to heat them from below and providing warm water to raise the temperature. My pufferfish weren't so lucky, though, and all they could do was just to keep as still as possible since their tank had no way of heating from below. I'm really @#$%ing glad they pulled through.
My birds, especially the youngest, which are just barely over a month old, were so cold that they needed two sheets to keep them warm.
Thunder blared, and hail pounded the house. My cats hid from the noise, and I bundled up in my bed, staring into pitch-blackness and seeing nothing but static.
I found out you can toast bagels on a pan over an open fire if you have a lid to heat the top. Wowee. Nice.
Since I had @$%^ all to do, I finally got my eyes examined for my visual snow (aka static vision) and got a mild prescription. The optometrist said that she doesn't know what's causing the [visual distortions] since my eyeballs are apparently "very healthy" but believes it's a neurological problem tied to my optic nerves. She tried to see if she could minimize it with lenses, but it didn't work, and she genuinely looked crestfallen for me. [[Heaven]] help me.
I used up all my backup chargers, so I had to go to @#%^ing McDonald's, of all places, to charge my phone. After waiting until it was around 80%, I decided to get something to eat, and when I put it on the windowsill behind me while it was charging. I wasn't aware that the windowsill's surface was slightly curved, so my phone fell to the floor. This was only a small drop or only a little over a foot, but that McDonald's floor must have poor impact control because that #$%^^$()^ BROKE MY PHONE. The screen is now unresponsive, and I was told my warranty only covers some of it, but I would still need to pay a $100 deductible to get it replaced. When I saw that, I just nearly snapped. HAHAHA! BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE I was so ANGRY I just stormed out of the phone store instead! HEHAEH
The absolute CHERRY ON THE TOP Besides the fact I have the worst indigestion from whatever I ate at McDonald's, the internet was down for several hours! WOO HOO! AWESOME. I couldn't access ANYTHING because it kept asking me to use my phone to verify, and I sat there thinking, "WHAT PHONE? IT'S BUSTED, YOU PIECE OF *@&^!"
These are just MINOR INCONVENICENCES. First-world problems! Definitely not the worst thing that could happen, I assure you, but BOY DO THEY SUCK. My head is throbbing, I had to stop typing to nearly vomit, and YET HERE I AM.
HA HA HA HAHAEHAEAHAHAHAH
IT's oKAY I HAVE SO MANY groceries that ARE BAD NOW.
JUST PART AND PARCEL of living in the BIGGGGGGGGG CITTTYYY
LOVE IT. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT L͇ͫ͢Ọͦͮ͟Ṿ̿͠E̲͆ͯ͞ ̓ͫ҉͉Į̘̅͌T̮̍͞ L̨̡̠ͪ̕͞O̸̸ͥ͊͜͏͇V̴̧̫̔̎͆ͣ͜͞E̵̡̺͂̃ͫ́͡ ̴̧́̄́͏̖Iͮ̀͏̢̨̥̀T̸̢̢̻̑ͭ̈ͨ͠
#musings#status update#rant#manic vent#manic word vomit#I HATE THIS DAMN PLACE SO MUCH#WORST INFRASTRUCTURE EVER#Stuff just failing LEFT AND RIGHT#If you know YOU KNOW.
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"Seeking to ease the burden of solitude, lonely Trainers tell Zoroark to show illusions to them."
#pokemon#pokemon black and white#pokemon bw#n harmonia#natural harmonia gropius#pokemon n#zoroark#clai's art#god damn ittttt its 3am again i need to. stop trying to do all my art in a single day but i know if i stop i might not finish ever BDJBDHFB#anyway heehoo. ouch#i said before that i hc zoroark to have Exceptional memory that they create their flawless illusions with but--#--i like the idea that its been so long. so much has happened. that the illusions of his memories of darmanitan have faded#i'm thinking like. as kids zorua did this all the time. conjuring illusions of all the pokemon he and n played with in the forest#and pretending to play with them again. at the time they didn't think they'd be in the castle forever#but as the days went on and n understood his place in team plasma more. they realized they wouldn't leave for a long time#so bringing up the forest became bitter. zoroark stops doing it. only when n is at his absolute lowest during bw1 does he ask--#--for zoroark to bring it up one last time. it doesn't really help. but they're both not sure what else could#my final point. i hate drawing backgrounds BDJVDJFHJD#cryign. to bed with me i cant keep staying up like this
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god damn i do not post often but can i talk about intentionality for a second?? one second please
i'm gonna be talking about bg3 but this really applies to any fandom space. people will, surface-level, agree that a Black character is not getting enough content compared to their white counterparts because it's. obvious . take wyll, who is several hours behind on voiced lines compared to other origins despite being one of the original five (before they added karlach and whiteified her too but that's another post). it's hard to deny cold hard facts
but then instead of engaging in content that uplifts Black characters and creators, they'll go right back to pumping out more and more content of just their white faves. on its own, it's not actively harmful, but here's what the implication is, whether they acknowledge it or not: yes wyll has less in-game content, yes his writing didn't get the attention it deserved, therefore i don't like him as much. it only perpetuates wyll's lack of content by contributing to his sidelining in fandom spaces
what i would love for fans who claim to be allies to do is to step out of the comfort zone of their initial favorites (which can, in fact, be biased!) and start pursuing content centering Black characters with intentionality. like all things, anti-racism (actively pushing back against racism rather than simply "Not Being Racist") takes practice and effort. you can't really agree with us that wyll needs more content, then in the same breath say that it's because of that that he's not interesting to you . the point was right in front of you doing a jig and you still missed it
#bg3#wyll#wyll ravengard#this isnt even including people who didnt notice that wyll had less content in the first place#which is. a very damning admission. so you werent paying Any attention to him...? at all....? its obvious even on a first playthrough tf#i had to physically stop myself from saying specific white boy names in the main post bc i knew it would just be fanning the flames#and thats not productive. as much as i hate to admit it.#anyway we all know why halsin is so much more popular than wyll. the white man with as much personality as a cardboard cutout#ITS HARD TO APPRECIATE HIM WHEN HES 1) boring and 2) part of the reason wyll got less content bc adding him meant less time for the others#if people start things in the replies im deleting this post if im being honest. this needed to be said but#i am not in the habit of arguing with strangers on the internet and i am not starting now#tyto speaks#man i didnt even mention how white side characters with maybe 5 min total of screentime get so much fan content .#while wyll a whole ORIGIN character gets left out of party art and either infantilized or villianized beyond the point of recognition
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me when the boy savior the boy saved everyone: 🤯🤯🤯
#me when the boy savior loops time over and over and over to keep the girl he hates and loves and grieves and forgives from killing herself#me when the boy savior risks everything and pushes time beyond its limit as the entire city sits paralyzed around him so he can save them#me when the boy savior who serves as an atlas figure and monolith for all that has happened in zaun + to jinx and has harbored so much#jaded anger as he’s yearned and grieved for all that could have been while pushing himself to fight for better things finally gets to fix#part of what went wrong (saving jinx and choosing to see her as someone who can change Again <- feeling that is part of what Made him so#cynical in the first place bc his friend was Gone and how is a kid supposed to grapple w that while still trying to be a beacon of hope??)#and solidify himself as the last and only hope in the end (which is what he always was and always was going to be) <333#my arcane s2 criticisms are glaring but i still have ekko goggles on#ah shit i just remembered the firelights were snubbed in favor of the half baked jinx revolutionaries. damn.#like don’t we remember why he was the boy savior in the first place. ah fuck. damn.#nvm i can’t think about it i’m going to get mad 😭#anyways.txt#arcane spoilers
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i dont think ill ever recover from the pure tragedy that is Touya Todorokis story/life. Genuinely the ending did mental damage to me
#arson yaps#touya todoroki#todoroki touya#Literally what the fuck was that ending for him#I find all the villains endings to be very unsatisfying but touya was my favorite from the beginning#dabi was just an interesting guy with a very cool character design and then we got his backstory and it was just. Interesting!#hes still a huge fave and i just. Brother euw about the ending#Its hard tp put into words exactly what i hate so much about it but Endeavor not facing real consequences for his actions#And how it all fell into place. We dont even know if touya is alive by the official ending. hes just in some tank basically stuck#its sad. its depressing and its not a fit ending for the story and what i thought the meaning was#none of the villains got an ending that made sense for them#nothing really changed. we didn’t seem to learn anything#its a fantasy it really wouldn’t have been so difficult to show at least some of the villains getting a sort of redemption#i think theres just lots of lost potential in the canon ending#shout out to fanfic though. in my heart all the villains are alive and got that damn therapy and its all happy#(with y’know the product of their goals and the heroes its not perfect bc nothing is yaadada)#mha#mha dabi#dabi#and FUCK ENDEAVOR
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people who are hyper critical of aang are super fucking weird and we should say so.
#aang#pro aang#avatar#atla#atla aang#avatar the last airbender#it’s just like when he acts like the 12 year old he is people who hate him are like wow he’s really acting like that#like bitch what???#he’s fucking 12 lmfao#of course he’s immature#but aang grows so damn much over the series and they just turn a blind eye to it#he’s trying to be a child while also grappling with his duties as avatar and his teachings as an air nomad#being told constantly that he has to kill someone despite that going against his teachings#anyway aang is great and yeah there were times he was annoying like any 12 year old can be#but he also matures a lot which is super sad cause of the weight placed upon his shoulders#anyway the people i see who criticize him to the point where it’s just like just say you don’t like him and go are zutara shippers of course#some zutara fans are so fucking demented i swear#and mostly all of them are annoying#even when i watched avatar as a pre teen i didn’t ship zutara
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The whole ending for the main timeline kinda sucks for Zaun, even the one good thing they get is backhanded as fuck.
Like sure, Sevika is on the council- but the council relies on majority vote, and every other member of the council only work in the interests of themselves or of piltover. Nobody else cares about Zaun, so nothing will change.
And Piltover shows they will alway protect and prioritize their own over everything else
Cait gets no consequences for her actions from the last two acts, despite doing many, many crimes. She released the Gray on the Undercity- which is going to cause disease, death, etc to many innocent people (the same disease Viktor was dying of, it was a direct result of Piltover’s oppression and the gray- I could go on and on about his ending but I shan’t.), arresting random Zaunites- including children- and just leaving them in prison, and even tho we hate Singed, threatening to throw him under the fucking prison was a little far. She gave him the opportunity to either join her or die. So the people of Zaun are animals and criminals until they’re useful?
And the scene of the Noxian guy (can’t remember his name) literally torturing that Jinxer??? Ambassa’s dead and so is he, so I guess thats their consequence, but nothing for Cait? No, Cait gets to have a nice life, she might feel guilty and maybe she’ll have a couple nightmares but really she’s not facing a single consequences You guys remember when Jayce almost got exiled for Hextech in season one? A crime in which nobody died or was grievously harmed? Yet there are no consequences Caitlyn hmmm
After everything the people of Zaun have gone through, they get nothing- they see their oppressor hailed as a hero, they see their children die of a disease that should never have touched the new generation (or just straight up suffocate while it was actively being deployed- if they get caught in that they are dead- little lungs and little legs yk- if they can’t escape it then they die) they see their only hope (Sevika) repeatedly shot down by the council, they see the abuse will continue. Even after everything they lost- all those who fought in Piltovers war- they get nothing. They helped, they worked with them when working against them didn’t work, and they still get nothing.
I think Ekko’s ending really drives it home- the ONE character who deserves the world above everybody else is sitting alone in the end. He did everything right but was still alone. If he -and Jinx- hadn’t rallied their forces and convinced the people of Zaun to fight then Piltover would have lost to Noxius. He convinced his people to fight and die for Piltover- but Cait’s the hero, and he’s still fighting for his own people.
#I have a friend#and we were talking about if we were in arcane where would we be#I said Zaun- being poor + queer + POC + having experienced police brutality and racism-classism first hand#they said piltover#and I remembered we came from two entirely different words#when I said ‘damn siding with the oppressors’ they said ‘no just the money and nice clothes and hextech seem cool lol’#they don’t see that the reason they have those things is because they are the ruling class#they have what they have because they are the oppressors#they are privileged- my friend- so they can’t relate to Zaun#they have never had to go hungry- to worry about having a place to live- to worry about anything#they can not relate to struggling- to fighting for your life and fighting those who hate you but just existing#to being twelve years old pinned to the wall by cops#they’ve never lived on the street#everything was handed to them- so they side with piltover- because that’s who they see themselves in#just wanted to add that- in case anyone was wondering why some people defend piltover and Cait so much ^#I love arcane#but fucking Christ that ending was so bleak#(also Cait fans being extremely racist to Ekko’s voice actor…yeah I see why y’all like her)#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane#arcane ekko#arcane caitlyn#arcane zaun#arcane piltover#Ik this is my freaky blog but I had to speak my truth somewhere#number one jinx defender btw#so what if she blew up the people that were oppressing her and her city and tried to get HER FATHER to turn her in#I don’t give a fuck about nobody in Piltover AT ALL#I think that little factoid is forgotten#that piltover- Jayce- tried to get Silco to trade lives- his daughter for the people of Zaun
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I will forever hate Instagram and Twitter. Nothing will drag me over there to post any art or follow artists (no matter how much I admire your art).
Oh, sorry, you're almost exclusively posting over there? No, thanks, I'm good just seeing the 1% you post here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#random hatred for the sites out of nowhere - no specific reason really except seeing some 'follow me on insta' on some tumblr blog#I'd rather go bald and eat my damn toenails than use those sites#they are everything wrong with the web and horrible fandom/art places in my opinion#I tested both a few years ago for a very short time#I hated them SO much and never looked back to leaving and never regretted it for a second#fandom
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The new percy jackson show is good for launching the hopefully successful careers of three brilliant young actors and i think thats neat. but man it looks like shit
#it is so sterilized#disneyplus truly is the shein of live action cgi productions#it is so mind blowingly cheap#bringing this up because i have not stopped thinking about the recent episode and that damn hotel#why did it look so BORING#that place was supposed to be off the walls chaotic enticing fun#why did they just skim over all of that#mr riordan constantly shit talking that old movie adaption he hated#and going on and on about how this one is sooooooo much better#okay okay okay im listening sir but lets talk about how disney happens to be the company that pays your bills#its very interesting that you LOVE this adaption so much
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#jhhh I'm so fucking scared#im so exhausted and tired and i do not think i will pull this off#trying to move tomorrow and i. i have some help but#ii don't know if it's enough#I don't know if I've thought of everything in fact i know i haven't#and I'm so scared something I've missed is going to fuck me over#im trying so fucking hard I swear#i swear i swear i swear#ii just want this to work i just want something i do to finally work i#......i want help and i swear I'm trying so hard to ask for it but I'm so bad and it's so hard to find regardless#what if it's not enough what if I'm not enough what if i can't park what if i can't move everything what if#what if i didn't make a request to the damn place what if they don't let me do stuff tomorrow it was so hard getting this much help at all#ii don't think i can do it again *certainly* not in time#fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm so goddamn panicked I need to sleep but i CAN'T#gghhhh#....everything hurts so damn bad#iim barely gonna be able to help tomorrow i....#i hate this i hate being so useless#worthless just taking up space i#ffuck#im so tired
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Grace FUMBLED Ryan! BAD parenting to preach respect and then act contrarily (ie saying she wants him to feel safe, then not allowing him any autonomy). She should've let him leave and come back... or at least explained why she didn't want him to leave before deciding (ex: 'Homelander will kidnap you', etc). She needed to let him make the decision for himself... agh. AAAAA.
And now Butcher's no use because he's committed to being evil and can't offer ANYTHING good to Ryan!!! He was so right, they NEEDED to give Ryan more space... I know the external pressures seemed impossible, but dammit, Grace, this was no way to beat the odds!
(this is about The Boys season four)
#ryan butcher#the boys#How much does Ryan know about his dad's upbringing?#Because he's right... Grace trapping him would've been like Vought and young Homelander... AAAGH#I hate it!!! When the heroes are genuinely more moral than the villains#but they make the same fatal mistakes and doom their cause in the process!!#AAA!!! GRACE!!!!#I don't hate her. I think she was dead wrong but I do not despise her. I know she meant it from the bottom of her heart--#--when she said she loves him.#But as she said it I couldn't help but imagine Barbara saying that to young John in the exact same way...#Grace may not have wanted to be like that but her actions would've had the same effect.#It hurts because I know so much where she's coming from#but it's just dead true that they can't reach a happy ending by treating someone so inhumanely.#Anyway. I hurt#Homelander is EVIL and THE BAD GUY#and this is not mutually exclusive with the fact that HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN TREATED LIKE THAT (how Vought raised him)#And it HURTS because the protagonists who were able to get to Ryan understood the first part (Homelander evil)#but not the second!!!! (His upbringing was a moral abomination)#It hurty it hurty because I WANT Ryan to heal...I want SOME kind of closure to what happened to the kid Homelander once was...#Ryan and his dad (insofar as he is Ryan's dad) had the potential to get to that place Hughie described...that place of forgiveness#where it's not win all vs lose all.... where it's confronting hell and making something good out of it...#Homelander was corrupting the trust he and Ryan were building by traumatizing Ryan and pushing him to do evil things....#..but god...GODDD....Hughie was SO RIGHT in his speech... what he and Victoria had is the answer. That's the answer!!!#And there was a MERE GLIMMER of a chance that Ryan and Homelander could enact that healing#And damn!! After the name of the game being 'kill Homelander' for the other three seasons#seeing the answer be 'violence only exacerbates suffering.. let's make things better instead' .... It would've been so amazing...#ah! Too good to be true!!!!#Butcher saying 'If where you feel safest is with Homelander then I won't stop you' HIT SO HARD#knowing that Ryan has felt so afraid....#they made it about the relationship between a child and their abusive parent and uh BIG SURPRISE it's breaking me
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i’m gonna make myself get dressed up and walk over to the bar that’s right near me,
anyone wanna buy the cat a drink? payment info on my website here meow
i refuse to allow myself to continue wallowing in my sad i reFUSE so we’re gonna a fake it until my smile becomes genuine again 😤👏🏾
OUTSIDE WORLD HERE I GO
#casseesmeows#i stayed say from titter for a while#but business has been slow#i got stuff to save up for#medicine to always buy ayOOO and#and and capitalism will always be a bitch lol#so i made my way onto the platform#it’s literally been only 24 hours since i started scrolling#and ive cried#and wanna erase my existence#i hate that place so much and what it does to me mentally#but work is work#gotta suck it up#practice self care#and leave this damn house#before misery consumes me
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While Nikei is the character i dislike the most out of anyone in the another series Kokoro is the one that physically hurts me whenever i think too much about her
#will elaborate on this later. maybe#you people who know me from Tumblr have no idea of the emotional turmoil this character has made me go through#i look at her and it feels like my heart is being crushed by a damn boulder#i hate her so much (for the first time i am speaking the truth in this kinda sentence)#but i dislike her for how she makes me feel much more than anything the character itself does#even tho what she did is what made me feel so upset in the first place#i hate her but I can't bring myself to not like her#it's still in here somewhere#hyena ramblings#sdra2#kokoro mitsume
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saw a tiktok talking about bookmarks earlier and there was a comment saying they were worried their bookmark could be seen by authors because they shit talk fics in their bookmark comment??????? why would you save something just to be rude about it????
#like. i understand reading a fic and going damn i didnt like that. sure thats gonna happen. but if its so egregious u need to hate on it?#how did u stumble on it in the first place much less FINISH it??? and 2. why the fuck would u do that on ao3#like. shittalk it to someone privately or have a minute to talk to urself and then move on#why would u save smt to ur acc just to hate on it????#anyway now im terrified my priv bmers r slandering me😍😍😍#nyxi cant stfu
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It's absolutely a me thing, probably, but people who say that they hate an author and have the time to reiterate it endlessly but continues to support their work- without ever crediting the good part of the writing that makes them a fan to begin with- irks me so goddamn much.
An author and their work is very intrinsically tied together. They write their beliefs of the world in the text, their sociopolitical stance practically bleeds out from the pages. Of course this isn't the case when you're making a comic or book/any form of media for the sake of it being disturbing, but the point is, I need people to understand that an artist's work is an extension of themselves and you need to respect that especially if it's a work that you love and connect with.
#as someone who's work got toyed with like its nobody's business I need to emphasize on the importance of-#an artist's work that they give time and effort into sharing. HEAVY EMPHASIS ON EFFORT.#this comes from a place of “what. so an artist's property means nothing if it becomes too popular?” that spiraled and so i needed to vent#this is a one piece blog and maybe im talking about Oda and fans of his work but its really every damn piece of media you choose to consume#“i hate this author & how they portray this” and you'd make paragraphs of criticism (which is incredibly valid!) but in the same discussion#i seldom see “this was done well” “this scene was incredible” being attributed/credited as being due to the author's effort and creativity#if you hate the way it was done then its the authors fault but if you love it then you're not giving them praises for it#< something like that#rambles#this is my take on a select few fans mind you#i just hate it when people call someone stupid and still have the gal to say oh i love the work but not the “stupid” person behind it#be more empathetic. seriously#anyways !!respect an artist's work!! thats *their* property and *their* time and effort and if you hate it so much-#then don't engage with it. simple as.
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fashion trends need to die. where i live it is imperative that you own a good down jacket so that you do not die of hypothermia. unfortunately, down jackets are trendy. because of this, you cannot buy a good down jacket anymore. i recently found my old down jacket that i wore in high school and compared it to the one i bought two or three years ago and the difference is staggering. the one i wore in high school is thicker, has an inner layer, is longer to keep your legs warmer, and makes me feel like i'm overheating when it's below zero. my newer jacket? thin as hell. no fur lining on the hood. appropriate for 10-20 degree weather, which is how cold it is in march over here. if you try to wear it outside when it's winter out you will simply freeze
#xenon screams#and i lost my damn high school jacket again!!!#where the fuck did it go#i hate new clothes#the only place i can think of that sell good clothes new in uniqlo and that's a stretch#i compared my uniqlo shirt from 2019 to my uniqlo shirt from 2024#guess which one was sturdier#ofc my 2024 uniqlo shirt felt so much sturdier than all my other shirts#im only buying clothes from 2019 and beforehand from now on#and also I ONLY GRADUATED IN 2022!!!!!!!!!#I BOUGHT THE FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL JACKET IN 2022!!!!!!!!!!!!#IT HAS BARELY BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE I BOUGHT IT!!!!!!!!!!#YOU FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(i am yelling You Fuck at tommy hilfiger and nautica)#fashion
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