#I DONT CARE IF HES SICK OF THE SERIES HE WILL!!!! FINISH IT PROPERLY AND GIVE ME CLOSURE!!!!

[lotus-pear]

it's not BSD if Asagiri keeps killing all the main characters 😭😭😭😭😭

might aswell be called No More Stray Dogs 🤡😭😭😭💀🔥 (the roof did smth to me ;-; HELP)

asagiri is starting to parallel gege more and more and i’m not sure i fucking like that….

[darushi-chan]

MORE HOTD REPTILES AU 🤗 EDIT: After I took a nap I checked the post on my phone and the quality of the image looked like crap, dont know if it is my damn phone or what, but just to make sure I divided the strip in parts, now it looks fine in my phone, I like looking at Vhagar the komodo dragon in good definition ok xD? Also Arrax with his cute little crown. Im in pain, I commited myself and finished this in almost 3 days, never again lol. Headcanons time: -If you follow my other posts you know Aemond and Luceyrs are roommates, Aemond lied and said Vhagar “was friendly” so Luke will stay with them, he had been very careful and nothing happenned for like 3 weeks, but the one time he went jogging and didn’t make sure Vhagar’s enclosure was properly closed something happened.  -His “Lucerys it’s in danger” sense tingled and he came back in time to prevent disaster, but Luke saw Vhagar in his room. -Lucerys knows Vhagar its not “friendly”, but he also wanted the roommates situation to work, so he feigned ignorance and trusted Aemond, after all Vhagar did listen to him, most of the time.  -Vhagar did want to have snack time so bad 😞, but she also loves her almond, so no eathing the tiny dragon, Arrax its “her friend” now, and shes also a new member of Luke’s youtube videos! Plenty of new subscribers thanks to that 😂. -Yes, their silly costumes are a little bit of an hommage to their HOTD real characters, after all we do love to make Luke and Aemond queen and king (Or kings) in a lot of fics 😋. -Also also, yes Luke its wearing crocs with cute charms on them, I also love jogging pants, very comfortable 😌. -Vhagar its inded as tall as Luke when she stands, she’s a full grown Komodo, my doberman its as tall as me when he stands, so I think that makes it possible, I’m like 1.60 m,  5.25 feet, so yeh. -After this Vhagar and Arrax become really good friends indeed, they take walks together with Luke and Aemond, they sunbathe, Luke makes videos with both of them from time to time, they also play catch and chase together, this scares Luke a little, but Vhagar will not hurt Arrax, they are important to her know, Aemond likes them, so does she. -The costumes and videos are a little bit tedious, but Luke makes sure to never do something she hates, and Aemond always gives her special treats and cuddles after them, she also gets a fanbase that sends her gifts! Luke says she’s a star now 😘. -MOre lore that keeps me awake at night: Targ special pet companions Need to be a reptile or amphibian+ blood magic with a Targ blood family member sample, usually blood+ some other secret enchantments. Usually, the parent will bring their baby or child and be shown a wide variety of options, specifically eggs, and if there’s a connection with one or more, they are taken and can go through a series of trials and blood magic rituals, and the one that hatches at the end it’s the one that goes with the client. This process can take some time and specially lots of money from the client. Also, it can only work with people from Valyria, the only ones that can really afford this type of thing are the Targs and their blood family members. They may or may not also have a very restrictive contract with the dragon keepers for this kind of service too, hehe. Driftmark incident and bonding with Vhagar!: Alicent lets Viserys have his way with Aegon and Helaena, they got their pet companions since very young, she agreed since both were also relatively safe options, but then he started to get sick and wasn’t as able as before. She never liked this tradition the Targs had, just looking at Rhaenyra’s Syrax, or even worse, Laena’s Vhagar, the seven forbid one of her kids bonds with a monster like that, so with Aemond she gets more control of what her son get access to bond with, small geckos, frogs, turtles…safe and/or small companions, but none of those take, time passes and then Aemond decides he wants to have a big crocodile like his father, Alicent hates the idea, she wasn’t a Targaryen, so she really didn’t believe it was safe. But no matter what other small safe reptiles Aemond was shown none of them reacted. Aemond knew why, he didn’t want any of those “safe” companions, Aegon and Jace won’t stop bullying him with one of those, he needed something that commanded respect, not something “small and safe”. More time pases and Aemond still doesn’t have a pet companion, Alicent stops trying, and he gives up a little. The day of the funeral the kids dare Aemond to go into Vhagar’s enclosure. He accepts and goes into Vhagar’s room at Daemon and Laena’s house, there he finds this really big lizard he has never seen before. The dragon keepers haven’t shown him anything like it, and even if it’s not a croc, he knows this would definitely do, his excitement goes away when he kind of feels the creature’s sadness. He starts to sing her a Valyrian lullaby (The one Daemon sings to Vermithor), and this catches Vhagar’s attention, she goes out from her enclosure and Aemond touches her snout (Like in how to train your dragon, hehe) while he says Lykiri and Dohaeras (Like in the show!). Vhagar can sort of feel the connection, but we still need the blood for it to be completed. Cue the other children. Aegon and Jace can be a little bit mean and feel kind of “attacked” (Inferiority complex it’s that you?), that Aemond it’s getting a good reaction from Vhagar, they weren’t expecting that after all, and because children can be little shits they enter the room and try to make fun of Aemond for singing Vhagar a lullaby, Vhagar has never seen this other children before and doesn’t like all the noise so she goes back to her enclosure. Rhaena and Baela are not vibing that much with the bullying, neither does Luke, but then Aemond gets mad and lashes at everyone, telling them they have lame companions, how they wish they could have something as cool as Vhagar, especially the idiot Strong bastards. Luke and the girls are sad and crying and answering their own mean things to Aemond and then everyone its fighting. Aegon knows their parents are gonna kill him if something happens, so he runs away in search of the adults. There is some stuff used to feed Vhagar in the room (Gloves, scissors, thongs and stuff like that) and in the struggle those things end up in the floor with Aemond and Jace, Aemond grabs the scissors and slashes them around in desperation and ends up cutting Jace a little. Its then that Luke, that was comforting Laena and Baela after they got punched in the squabble, sees this and gets scared, and ends up pushing Aemond, he trips around the mess and pierces his eye with the scissors, by then the adults arrive and all hell breaks loose. While everyone screams, Vhagar gets close to Aemond and licks some of his blood from the floor, Laena its dead, and she likes this feisty hatchling, so the bonding gets completed. Still, the adults are fighthing, but the kids get to say the truth about the taunting and the mean words and Alicent, Rhaenyra and Viserys see the damage that has been done through the adults mean remarks and hatred. So yes, they are all very mad, and are not in the very best terms then, but they all decide to start going to family therapy, so not everything goes to shit in a couple of years, this way Lucemond and Jacegon can still be a little bit toxic, but nobody needs to die, ok? Also Alicent freaks out and almost passes out when she sees the monstruosity sitting at her son’s side, that makes everyone go back to their rooms, lol. 

[wonwoonlight]

my way to you / jeon wonwoo | epilogue

A/N: posting this today in hope it'll better your day bc mine is just eh. and with this, my way to you is officially finished! I'll make a separate AN post which you can find here; but if you dont want to see me ranting, just know that i'm thankful to every single one of you who has taken the time to read this and follow the ride until the very end. see you in my other works! <3

series masterlist

You relish in Mrs. Yoon’s embrace as she thanks you once again for arranging her anniversary party. It’s a fairly small one, because she just wants to invite families and close friends, and you’ve managed to turn her backyard into a beautiful place right out of a fairytale movie set.

“You’ve been well, right?” she says in that motherly tone of hers, patting the strands of your hair that was a little all over the place. “Jeonghan said you fainted a while ago? I would’ve come visit if I knew.”

“It’s okay, Auntie.” You shake your head, making a mental note to yell at Jeonghan for telling on you. At least she doesn't seem like she has any idea about the missing episode. “It’s not recently too, you don’t have to worry. I’m eating my meals properly now.”

She cups your cheeks gently, her eyes still worried as she searches your face to see if you’re just saying it. “Tell me next time you get sick, okay? I’ll come and take care of you.”

You nod just to ease her worry, doubtful that you’d actually do it. As much as you love her and you know she’ll really take care of you, you feel like that’d be asking for too much. After talking some more, she squeezes your shoulder before excusing herself to find her friend. You hug her one more time and congratulate her on the anniversary, leaving a kiss on her cheek before you let go.

“You really outdid yourself, hm, princess?” Wonwoo’s voice tickles the back of your neck almost immediately after Jeonghan’s mom leaves, and he laughs when you jump a little, almost stumbling on your feet. “When did you get so clumsy?”

“You surprised me!” you whine, though you step forward to hug him anyway. “Did you just arrive?”

He circles his arms around you too, dropping a kiss on top of your head before pulling away then tells you that traffic was hell and he actually left an hour ago. Wonwoo looks around to find familiar faces, seeing Shua chatting with his sister on one of the tables and Jeonghan talking to your father by the chocolate fountain.

“Is everyone here already?”

Before you can answer, the door opens again and you see Jennie stepping in with Jisoo—how did they get acquainted again?—Jinyoung trailing behind them, busy with his phone. The three spot you both right away, making their way to you first instead of to the host of the party.

“Did you work on this party too?” Jisoo asks after greeting you with a hug, eyes wandering around the location as she takes in the decoration you’ve put on around the backyard. “Calling this beautiful would be offensive, trust me. This is ethereal.”

You scrunch your nose at the compliment, still not used to it even though you do know this is your best work yet. You thank her shyly, and Wonwoo laughs at the interaction when Jinyoung jokingly tells you to knock off the shy act.

“It really is beyond beautiful though,” Jennie says quietly, wondering how much effort you must’ve put into this. “You really have talent in this, Y/N.”

You grip Wonwoo’s arm as you listen to her, Wonwoo’s words just a few days ago ringing through your mind. He finally told you about Jennie and the talk they had on the day you fainted, about how she felt about you and how she’s been holding it over herself.

It’s quite funny, if you really think about it, you’re both envious of each other but you approach the feeling differently, albeit the different reason behind them. While Jennie wishes to get closer to you, you try your best to keep your distance from her because, just like you did with Wonwoo, you don’t how to deal with those feelings.

You had been shocked when Wonwoo told you about it. You would’ve never imagined her to be envious of you. After all, what was there to be envious of when she literally has what you have and more? But the more you listen to Wonwoo, the more guilt gnawed within you.

It’s not a lie to say you have never disliked Jennie. It’s just awkwardness stacking up as years go by, your tendency to overthink and to run away from dealing with things you’re not sure how approach that leads to you keeping yourself from her.

And with the light of recent events when you finally accept that you are, in fact, in love with your best friend, the only reason behind the bitter taste on your mouth everytime you see her was only fueled by jealousy.

Wonwoo nudges you in encouragement, knowing that you’re no longer reluctant to talk to her though you still don’t know how you’re supposed to do it when you’ve chosen to be awkward for years.

You remember what he said after that, about how no one is asking you to be close to Jennie—that you should just treat her as you would any other person, and that you should try to tamper down those feelings that make you small everytime you see her.

It’s awfully obvious to you now, her calculated words and conscious gestures. Just as much you are unsure how to talk to her, she doesn’t know how to talk to you either (and whose fault is that?). But she’s trying, she always is, you think as you recall the amount of time Jennie has tried to talk to you.

Guilt isn’t the only thing that runs through you now, you’re embarrassed; you’re a woman in the middle of 20s and you’ve been running away from someone who doesn’t have any ill intention towards you just because you’re awkward and you don’t know how to talk to her?

“Thank you,” you smile at her, fingers gripping Wonwoo a little tighter. Jennie seems to be surprised at your soft tone, already used to the polite way you always use to address her. “I… uh, you know, Daisy Collections, Shua’s family’s company, actually asked me to organize their event and… well, I’m not actually used to the fashion industry so, um, would you mind helping me with it if… if you’re still in the country?”

Jinyoung blinks continuously at this, eyeing Wonwoo in confused surprise while the guy simply looks at you like he’s proud of what you’ve done. Jennie’s looking just as surprised, if not more, but she’s quick to bloom into a wide smile and tells you she’ll be happy to help you come up with the concept, if that’s what you’re asking for.

It’s bizarre how relieved you feel after that, and after Jennie leaves with the couple to find the host of the party, Wonwoo squishes your cheeks and teases you for being shy like you’re on a blind date.

“How would you know how I’d be on a blind date?” you stick your tongue at, though you do feel a little giddy inside now that you know you can finally let go of whatever awkwardness you have with Jennie. You don’t necessarily have any plan to be close with her, though you wouldn’t be against it if it comes to that. Whatever will come out of it, you’re just glad you finally have it in you to let go of that weight now.

“Miss Yoon,” Seungcheol calls for you, making you both turn to him. Wonwoo pulls away and nods at the older guy, looking at the small box in his hands as he hands it to you. “The package you ask for is here.”

“Thank you,” you take the box from him, telling Wonwoo it’s a gift for Jeonghan’s parents that you have Seungcheol get because it’s customed and the artist finished it just this morning. “And I told you to stop calling me that.”

Seungcheol simply smiles, dimpled cheek appearing as he does so. You tell him to stay and enjoy the party if he wants, but he says he’d rather not though he’ll be on standby if you need him.

You share an amused smile with Wonwoo after Seungcheol steps back in to the house with the rest of the staff, bowing to you both and bidding his goodbye. He’s enjoying his last month as your guard after the whole fiasco, not because he’s fired but because you ask your parents to turn him into your personal assistant instead.

Seungcheol is more than competent, you’ve learned after a year of being with him, he’s meticulous and he knows to be stern with you when it’s necessary. And even though he was hesitant at first, unsure if he’s qualified to be a personal assistant, he eventually gives in after you reassure him that you’re not expecting him to magically understand your workloads, that you’ll give him space to learn and you’ll be happy to guide him along the way—that you’ll pay him more than when he was just your guard because now he would have to guard you and help you with your work. But you know what eventually drives him to say yes is because you say you’ll give him more day offs to see his family than his agency did.

He still has his contract with his agency though, which is why he’s in the process of ending the contract before he can officially sign with Yoon Holdings as an employee.

“He’s going to start next month, right?” he asks as he pulls you to a more secluded area, finally moving away from the entrance--and from the party, actually.

The sound of people chatting get fainter the more you follow him, and you find yourself near the greenhouse, the other half of the backyard that you steer away from because it wouldn’t go well with the decoration and overall concept you’ve chosen. You’ve even put on partitions, just to let people know that this side of the backyard isn’t a part of the party.

You’ve always liked this kind of event more, it’s less hassle because it’s casual, and you don’t need to be on guard at all times because it’s easy to look through the whole area from wherever you’re standing.

“Are you thinking of officially signing a contract with Lilac&Co?” he asks when he notices the labels on the buffet table. You’ve been talking about it before, because after a food taste and some meetings for this event, you’re pleased to find out you work well with them. Their protocol is strict and the fact that their food tastes like heaven basically seals the deal.

“Yeah, it’s about time that we find a fixed vendor too,” you say absentmindedly as you scan through the area, glad that everyone seems to be having a good time. “Gosh, I’m glad I said yes to Auntie. This is my best event as of now.”

Wonwoo chuckles at your tone, arm wrapping around your shoulder as he agrees with you. “Please just don’t faint again, okay?”

“It was one time.”

“And one time is enough,” he closes the argument. “I won’t let you take three projects at once ever again.”

You raise an eyebrow at his statement, turning to face him as you cross your arms. “And who are you to say that?”

“Your boyfriend?” he grins, daring you to say otherwise. He steps to pull you into his embrace though, having been wanting to do that since earlier but there were too many people near the entrance. “I just don’t want you sick again, princess. And you know you won’t be focused that way.”

“I know, I know,” you say as you hug him back, reassuring him that you won’t be that careless again and admitting that he’s true. “That’s partly why I ask Seungcheol to be my PA too. It’s about time I need someone to help me with my works.”

He pulls away just enough to look at you, and between the way you’re looking back at him and the burgundy lipstick you’ve chosen to apply today, he finds it hard to hold back from kissing you. He doesn’t see why he should though, because you don’t plan to hide your relationships even though you haven’t really told anyone either. So he does exactly that, smiling into the kiss when he feels you smile too.

“Oh?” A familiar voice makes you two pull away from each other, though his protective arm still wraps around your waist. He bites his lip as he watches his mom and your mom in front of him, they don’t even bother to hide back their happy grins though they still have it in them to bite the squeal from coming out of their mouths.

“Anything I can help with, Auntie, Mom?” Your voice is small, and he suddenly feels like teenagers being caught by their parents doing things they shouldn’t. He coughs to hide the amused smile, knowing full well that you’d scold him for it.

“Um, no,” Wonwoo’s mom honestly sounds too giddy for her own good and you can feel your cheeks getting warm at her knowing look. Your mom is more or less the same, though the soft look in her eyes make you feel warm inside. When was the last time she looked at you that way? “We were just walking around, to be honest. But I think they’re calling everyone for an announcement.”

You follow them back to the party, fingers intertwined with Wonwoo’s even though you’re glaring at his teasing grin. He looks so much like his mom earlier, and despite your mock annoyance, you’re actually also giddy inside. You’re just so content, and there’s something wholesome about knowing that your parents know now.

You see Jeonghan’s mom making her way to the center with a mic, thanking everyone for coming and thanking you for putting up the party. You automatically hide behind Wonwoo when everyone suddenly focuses on you, shaking your head when she showers you with compliment and how it’s everything she could’ve asked for.

She talks some more about how glad she is that everyone’ having fun, that it’s been a while since she’s been able to gather them together and she’s happy that the day has been going rather well. After that, she ushers Jeonghan to take her place, saying that he has an announcement to make while everyone’s here.

You look at him in confusion, not aware that Jeonghan has anything that might need announcement for.

“Hi everyone. I’m Yoon Jeonghan, if you don’t know. The son of the couple?” he starts lightly, making everyone chuckle with his introduction. “I’m not going to talk for long, so don’t worry, you can go back to having fun after this.

I’ve always believed that art is a necessity; it’s something that we turn to when we don’t know where else to go. We turn to art when we’re happy, when we’re sad, when we’re worried, and even when we’re out of our mind. It’s truly amazing, that sometimes we don’t even understand what is it about but we find happiness in them still. It’s abstract, but that’s why it’s beautiful, why it’s personal, and why there’s always a part of it that resonates with a part of us.

I’m sure everyone here knows of Daisy Collections?”

Jeonghan points at Shua’s table when he says this, and Somi happily waves to the crowd while the rest of her family simply smile at them, wondering where the whole thing is heading to. Shua looks at him in question, but Jeonghan is already turning away to continue his little monologue.

“Just last year, the eldest son of the Hong family decides to step down from his position in the company to open up his own studio, Daisy Studio. It’s an art studio that Joshua manages himself, he built it from zero from all the money he got working in the main branch, refused when we all offered to help him fund the development, and, fast forward to the present, he’s booked almost everyday now.

It’s not just an art studio though.

Daisy Studio not only offers classes to those who can afford it, but also have an open class every week for those who don’t have the money for art classes, hold charity events for those in needs, comes to orphanages for the kids, and even does volunteers for painting days in hospitals.

What they’re doing is truly incredible, they aren’t only helping those who want to pursue their dreams; they’re helping those who are lost and unsure—who only has art as their only escapes.

That being said, I’m happy to announce that Yoon Holdings is going to start a foundation and help them expand so they can help more people find home in their arts—so we can help more people in need of comfort they don’t know where to find. We’re going to fully fund everything, and we’ll be happy to receive your donations once the foundation is officially established. I truly hope we’ll be able to help more people this way; whether what they need is comfort, encouragement, or they just need an outlet, I want everyone to know that we’re there for them.”

Jeonghan shyly thanks everyone at the loud sound of their claps, and you see Shua frozen in shock at the announcement. You’re fidgeting on your feet, and it’s when Wonwoo pushes you slightly towards where your cousins are at that you squeal and hug them both once you’re close enough.

“What was that!” You can’t help but grin despite the way you’re hitting Jeonghan’s shoulder with your hand. “We’re setting up a foundation to help Shua’s studio?”

He shrugs nonchalantly, telling you it’s something that he’s been thinking of and Shua’s studio just happen to be the perfect media to do that. “I owe him anyway.”

“I only told you to pay for my expansion, you ass!” Shua exclaims, though the happiness in his eyes is the brightest you’ve ever seen. It’s not hard to figure out why, his studio is his everything, and to have Yoon Holdings backing him up for the good cause… “Seriously though, I… I don’t even know what to think, man. Thank you doesn’t even suffice.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Jeonghan hesitates for a bit, his eyes fleeting to you. “It’s… actually Uncle’s idea.”

“My father?” you ask to make sure. Why would your father be interested in setting a foundation?

“Remember that bet? I promised Shua I’d pay for his studio’s expansion if I lost the bet; well, I won, but I felt like I owe him and it’s for a good cause so I thought, why not?” he explains, trying to see if your father is nearby only to find him with Wonwoo’s dad yet again. “Well, I was asking for a personal favour from our company’s team to help me purchase the building when Uncle accidentally heard of it. And… yeah. I told him they often hold events for charities and volunteers for just about any cause. He thought we might as well go all out and build a foundation to help and…”

You raise your eyebrow at his gaze, but Jeonghan shakes his gaze, saying it’s not his place to tell and that you should ask your father yourself for it. You look at Wonwoo for support, and he offers to come with you if you want to talk about it right now.

Contemplating for a bit, you eventually nod and tell him you’d rather ask now than later. You drop a kiss on Shua’s cheek before you leave, congratulating him on the sudden tremendous expansion he’s going to get judging by the enthusiastic respond from the guests.

“Father?” you greet him with Wonwoo in tow, and then turn to Wonwoo’s dad to greet him too. “May I talk to you for a bit?”

He seems like he has an idea what you’re going to talk about and, surprisingly, lets you ask out in the open without excusing you both from the other two gentlemen.

“Umm… Jeonghan said the foundation was your idea?”

“Ah, he gave me too much credit,” he gives you a small smile, taking a sip of wine before he continues. “He said he wanted to help for a good cause so I thought it was obvious that we should just build a foundation. Plus, it’s Joshua’s studio, right? We’ll know our fund is in good hands.”

“But… why?”

He sighs, not one that might indicate that he’s irritated, but something that sounds a lot like he’s contemplating his next words.

“I heard Joshua often hosts charities and does volunteers. Jeonghan said he usually has three or four events per month, including the weekly open class. I asked if Joshua has a team to do this or if he outsources event organizer everytime, but Jeonghan said, as much as he’s aware, Joshua does everything himself with his small team.”

You don’t see where this is going, but you continue to listen to him as you try to make sense why he’s talking about it instead of answering you.

“So I thought… why not have the best organizer I know help him regularly and we fund them for their social service?”

You still don’t get this, and your father chuckles at your confused expression, his hand reaching out to pat your head. You take a sharp breath at this, the last time he did that was… so long ago that you don’t even remember; perhaps you were five, crying as hard as you could because you broke one of his vases in his home office, afraid that he’d yell at you for it. But he had just taken you in his arms, away from the shards, and when he sat you down in his office chair and called for the helper to clean the mess, he had simply patted your head and said it’s okay and that he could just buy another one.

“—step down from the company and help them.” You hear him say after you zone back in, lost in memories. You smile sheepishly at him, asking for a repeat that your father readily gives.

“You have a gift in it, princess.” You’re surprised that, for once, you don’t cringe at the sound of your father addressing you with the nickname. Perhaps it’s the soft tone he’s using, or the way he’s looking at you with something akin to genuine pride. “And I know you don’t want to work in the company. So I thought perhaps it would be better for you to step down and take care of the foundation instead? You’d be working with Joshua too.”

The grip you have on Wonwoo’s arms immediately tighten once the words hit you, and you try your best not to look like a fish out of water when you realize that your father is asking you to step down and take care of the new foundation. Because you’re the best organizer he could think of and that you’d be more content working for this instead of in the company because he’s been forcing you to do that.

It's a foundation. Not a company. You can’t monetize a foundation—you’re just going to be there working with Shua, helping him run the foundation and organize his events so they’d go without a hitch. You already help him from time to time, and you know Shua actually lacks people to help him prepare an actual event, so you know to have back up from Yoon Holdings in an official way like this would mean the world to him.

You’re not there to make money. You’re there to help people and make sure the fund is used accordingly.

“We’ll talk about it later,” he nods and tells you to continue enjoying the party. “Come by the family house for dinner tomorrow. You come too, Wonwoo, it’s been some time since I share a meal with you both.”

Your lips are pressed together when Wonwoo looks at you, your father and his dad already gone to return to their seats as you hear him extend the invitation to the whole Jeon family. Your eyes are glossy too, and he smiles before he envelopes you in his arms and hides your face there. He hears you breath in and out, trying to calm yourself down and only pulling away once you’re sure you no longer have tears in your eyes.

“You’re okay?” he asks just in case, voice soft and barely a whisper.

“Never better,” you grin despite the redness in your eyes, blinking them away and gripping Wonwoo’s hands as if to convince yourself that he’s really there; that this isn’t a dream and the whole thing is real.

You feel Wonwoo squeeze your hands too in return, eyes locked together as you share a giddy smile with him.

It’s been a long way to get here, and you promise to yourself you’ll never let go of him even if he does.

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved. I don’t allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if you’re aware of anyone doing this without my permission.

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[the-knight-of-the-stars]

Just finished The Sea of Monsters, so quick thoughts:

-Just as the last one, I love the narration, is super engaging and fun

-Is very easy to fall in love with every character, so I was so excited to see the new ones and meet again the ones I knew that I ate up the whole book in one sitting.

-I loved Tyson, he was adorable (please, he called the hippocampi Rainbow). His introduction was great, all the buildup to him being a cyclops was very good.

-I really like how the whole mist thing is handled, the feeling of mundane and magical like mixing it creates.

-I was beyond excited when Hermes appeared, he is my favorite greek god and I had to sit down properly to read that part.

-The entire segment with Hermes was amazing, loved every second. I was so excited qhen he said he had presents, is such an Hermes thing, 10/10

-I like the hightlight that many other half-blood would find easy to follow Luke, it shows how he does has some legit points, that even Percy thinks about.

-I really liked Clarisse in this one too, she is kind of cool. When she said her father gave her the bote I thought, "Maybe Ares cares about his children despite all, like in mythology" and then the mf threaten her and I wanted to choke him myself.

-I really thought Tyson was death "... knowing that Tyson was gone forever, and wishing I were able to drown" In the name of the moon Percy STOP, my heart is already beated up DONT SAY THAT

-The part with Circe was really cool too.

-Let me tell you if I had a PJO bingo cart, seen Blackbeard and his crew would have NOT been in there, wtf?? (It was great, I loved it)

-I legit cried when Annabeth was swimming to the ilusion with her parents and Luke. My beautiful girl, I wanted to hug her so bad.

-I was so happy to see Grover again, I missed him

-The entire escape from Polyphemus was very fun.

-Percy using the Iris messege was SO SMART it was so cool.

-The car race was neat as well, so fun

-THAT ENDING MY DEAR! I want to start the next one in this second but I can't feel my body, I'm going to sleep

-Damn what a good book! I hadnt finish a book so fast since... I don't know, when I read Mockingjay on middle school

-I am so in love with this series now, I'm having the time of my life even sick.

-See you soon The Titan's Curse!!

[hiuythn]

do u have any krbk fics that u can rec? any favorites of urs! ☺️

you’re in luck bc i just made a rec list for a friend so i have this ready for you

also i’ve got over 200 krbk bookmarks on ao3 so feel free to check that out if you finish this rec list.

all (except one) of these are completed. they're in no particular order. i tried to find ones that are less known, bc idk how much you've read but i'm assuming all the popular ones are familiar to you. happy reading! 💖💖💖

Inevitable - Legendaerie - 8k - mature CLASSIC 'bkg thinks they've been together and kiri thinks he's still pining' TROPE. it's INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me why this doesn't have more fucking kudos!!! why!!!

Tiny Truths - Quirk Archivist (OneHitWondersAnonymous) - 4k - teen bkg gets de-aged. kid him reveals sth to class 1a, more imptly, to KIRI, abt some ideas about what it means to open a hero agency together. it's super adorable!!

Punch My Mouth with Your Mouth - QuestCat44 - 4k - teen bkg spars with deku more bc OfA is acting up and he's the only one in the know. kiri gets jealous but he's so good-natured that his jealousy is only bc he misses sparring/spending time with bkg. BKG, on the other hand, is worried kiri is mad for different reasons asdkjfhasdhfa

all according to keikaku........... - carolinaa - 8k - teen the title should already tell you how good this is. I LOVE JEALOUSY FICS WHEN THEY'RE MORE FUNNY THAN ANGSTY AND THIS IS SO FUNNY. kiri gets tired of deku being a pussy around todo and decides to flirt with todo to get deku jealous enough to do sth about it. bkg and todo are both horrified for VERY different reasons DHADSKDFHJS

doll me up - shizuumi151 - 6k - gen kiri gets turned into a doll by a kid's quirk and no one knows. bkg still ends up caring for him :’)

These Words Are Ours - deviance - 2k - teen soulmate au but bkg figures who's going to say his words before it happens, and honestly that's kind of the point. he's not the type to fall in love at first sight. he MAKES the choice to love kiri and that, my friends, is my kind of soulmate au.

all good things need sunshine - shizuumi151 - 3k - teen FLORIST KIRI. BKG WANTS A BOUQUET THAT SAYS  'FUCK YOU'

Flour Power - WingSongHalo - 26k - teen KRBK HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A BAG OF FLOUR AND PRETEND IT'S THEIR BABY

feedback loop - bigstupidjellyfish - 1k - teen PRO HERO BKG GETS THROWN BACK IN TIME FOR A BIT AND MEETS MIDDLE SCHOOL KIRI AND HE'S SO SOFT TO HIM ASDFHKASDFJ. i am a big fan of bkg being a fan of kiri. i can't get ENOUGH OF IT. can someone give me more fics like this

mixed signals - bigstupidjellyfish - 2k -teen a short 'what if' fic where kiri and bkg went to the same middle school. bkg's still an ass but kiri's still his equal it seems, and is just as good as handling him as ever

Trash Goblin Finds Love - wrunic - 4k - teen COFFEE SHOP AU. BARISTA   KIRI GETS SICK ONE TIME AND BKG MAKES HIM SOUP AND FORCES KIRI'S COWORKER TO DELIVER IT ASDJHFS

Dreaming of a White Mocha Christmas - let_me_wander - 8k - teen ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP AU.  BARISTA KIRI AND HIS FAV CUSTOMER ;) GET SNOWED IN  

Something Warm - let_me_wander - 15k - teen YES FOLKS IT'S A A A ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP FIC, THAT'S RIGHT!! BARISTA BKG THIS TIME. also kr is in a band and writes a song for bkg asdfhksjd

Kneel - deviance - 7k - explicit idk if you wanted explicit stuff but this is pretty light sub stuff, they're not even properly together at the beginning, and there isn’t sex til the end. i just liked how kiri is the only one bkg would rely on for sth this private, and it's more emotional than it is sexual?

Everyone Knows That Cats Are Independent - PurplePersnickety - 39k - teen YET. ANOTHER. COFFEE SHOP AU. but also?? daemons?? katsuki's got a lionness, and kiri has a...i'll let you find out. anyway they become closer and closer and closer and the flirting is so fucking excruciatingly obvious but cute and sdkjfhasdjs it's such a queer experience like 'is he...no he cant be...but what if he did like me - no that's not possible. but what if?' and they get so domestic sometimes i swear i'm about to puke from how cute it is. this is my fav coffee shop au ngl

Broken Bridges - DeathBelle - 68k - explicit plot fic!! krbk loses touch after gradutation. kiri comes back from korea and starts to work together with bkg, dealing with a series of murders and MAN the action is 👌 easy to follow but it hits all the beats, has that Flow. krbk being a power couple will never get old!!

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things - chezka - 56k - gen pretty sure you've seen this one around but STILL. BKG FALLING FOR 'GHOST' KIRI IS BEST. this au really takes FULL COMPLETE advantage of the fact that krbk CANNOT TOUCH and the yearning practically astral-projected me back into the my past life when i was a dung beetle that got crushed under the foot of an elephant. it hurt, basically. but it hurt so good. JUST LET BKG HUG KIRI!!! happy ending ofc.

Catching Bees - MonocerosRex - 2k - teen bkg has to pay his classmates compliments. class 1a hijinks. the krbk in this is short but it made me squeal sdhfkakjl

i'm going to the forest to kick my own ass - WannabeMarySue - 5k - teen TODO PRANKS BKG BUT UNLUCKY FOR HIM BKG IS COMPETITIVE AND ACTUALLY LEARNS SOMETHING

Hair Care 101 - overlymetaromantic - 7k - gen ASDHFASDFHAJKS KIRI MEETS BKG'S MOM BY ACCIDENT AND GETS HAIR HELP AND THEY TALK ABOUT BKG AND IT'S SO. CUTE. AND THEN BKG DYES KR'S HAIR IN THE SECOND CHAPTER AND THEY'RE SO BLUSHY AND SWEET I CAN'T!!

Sometimes We Fall in the Dark - timetoboldlygo - 16k - teen BKG TAKING PHOTOS OF THINGS FOR THERAPY. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT HOW YOU PHOTOGRAPH THINGS YOU TREASURE 👀👀👀

Corn Chip - smol_bird - 23k - teen I DONT FUCKIGN KNOW WHY THIS DOESN'T HAVE MORE KUDOS. IT'S LITERALLY SO GOOD. DEMON KIRI IS JOKINGLY SUMMONED BY BKG AND FRIENDS. THEY FALL IN LOVE. KIRI HAS TO LEAVE. BKG IS DETERMINED NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN. HAPPY ENDING. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ASK FOR

'cause i love you for infinity - multiclassmaps - 23k - teen SDHFADSJFASD DEMON AU AGAIN. THIS TIME IT'S KIRI THAT DOES THE SUMMONING. BUT WHY DOES BKG SEEM SO FAMILIAR??? WHAT CAN KIRI DO TO MAKE HIM STAY??

to the beat of your heart - drifting_i - 8k - gen BAND AU. KIRI WORKS AT A RESTAURANT AND SOMEHOW BEFRIENDS DRUMMER BKG AND BKG'S BAND CAN'T BELIEVE THAT KIRI GETS AWAY WITH HALF THE SHIT BKG ALLOWS HIM TO

Playing Favorites - vaporeon_ninja - 2k - gen AKSDJFHJADHFKA BKG GETS CALLED OUT ON HIS KIRI FAVOURITISM

(Not Quite) Proposal - imatrisarahtops - 783 - teen DRUNK BKG IS SAPPY WITH HIS BOYF

something worth remembering - bbuggs - 1k - teen DRUNK BKG AGAIN!!! THIS TIME HE DOESN'T REMEMBER KIRI IS HIS HUSBAND AND HE'S SO DISTRAUGHT ABOUT KIRI BEING TAKEN SDFJHSK

A Dragon's Hoard - chezka - 10k - teen kiri gets turned into a dragon bc of a quirk. LOVE HOW DRAGON KIRI STILL LIKES BKG BEST

Love Notes - PurplePersnickety - 5k - teen LOVE NOTES BKG LEAVES LOVE NOTES FOR KIRI IT'S SO SWEET

Define: Oblivious - PurplePersnickety - 45k - teen this is the second part to Love Notes, it's still updating BUT PLEASE CHECK IT OUT TOO BC KIRI DOES STH SO BADASS DURING PRACTICAL TRAINING I LOVE HIM I REREAD THIS NOW AND THEN JUST FOR HOW COOL HE IS IN THAT ONE CHAPTER. also the steady, careful way krbk define their relationship and bkg's demisexuality is so sweet, so good.

The Hard Easy - dirtbag - 4k - teen this one is pretty popular but i still gotta mention it bc. kissing lessons. KISSING LESSONS!!! i love how eagar bkg is askdfhks

Kitsune's Pride - kytrin, Mslead - 147k - explicit okay this was A DOOZY like i???? the plot???? the time travel and the oni and kitsune stuff???? bkg and kiri being badasses??? bkg wanting the best for kiri and angrily supporting him??? this was the first time i kept up to date with a fic when it was still updating and commenting every chapte,r i was so hooked. and ALSO like the authors have written SO MUCH more longfics like this like they have NOVELS and i REALLY rec you check them out like....bro idk how they do they have so much out already and i think and they're updating two more rn and i'm. their bitch tbh

Burden of Proof - kytrin, Mslead - 153k - explicit OK ONE MORE REC FOR THESE AUTHORS. burden of proof is so. so fcukign good. i have adhd and these guys have never one lost me even tho their fics are upwards of 60k. this fic has dragons, it has plot, it has growth and healing and found families and i WISH i could write sth this intricate.

Burger Kings - plantegg - 5k - teen stupid teenage boys being stupid. kiri blackmails bkg into going on a date asjdfhkdsjfakd

Worth a Thousand Words - awareoftheconcept - 43k - teen SDKJFHASKH THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE OF MINE I KNOW THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION TROPE IS OVERUSED BUT I CAN'T HELP FALL FOR ANGSTY KIRI AND OMG THE CONFRONTATION SCENE AT THE END IS SO. SO. SO MOVIE-ESQUE I HATE HOW LAME I AM. basically everyone thinks bkg is dating camie asdkjfhskd

Day 6: Fandom - PullingAllMighters, SweetBrew - 9k - mature bkg and kiri don't know each other until they're pro heros and only bc they start a competition to see who's better and they go to each other's signings undercover and develop crushes on each other and deku is an enABLER ASHAHAJFS

Scales Ain't The Same As Feathers - Julietwasanidiot - 2k - gen GOD THIS IS SO CUTE BABY BKG "FINDERS KEEPERS" A BABY DRAGON KIRI SKDHFHD but he thinks kiri is a chicken

Charades - orphan_account - 4k - teen this is just soft....game night....at one point bkg acts out a really romantic word for charades and he's EMBARRASSED SDJFHA. also kiri falls asleep on him and there's some hair stroking....soft...

Cranky-rishima - PurplePersnickety - 29k - teen kirishima is the one with nightmares in this one and he gets CRANKY and BKG has to be the one to reach out and i thought that was such a fresh reversal loved it

No Secrets to Success - kingdoms - 7k - teen THIS IS MY FAV!! MY ABSOLUTE FAV JUST BC I LOVE IT WHEN FICS MAKE PEOPLE GAPE IN AWE FROM HOW SOFT BKG IS WITH KIRI. also krbk forming their relationship outside of school in this au was so??? sweet??? it's just them hanging out together. ALSO KIRI IS SO GOOD AT POKING BKG'S BUTTONS ASJDFHASK

Built to Fall - bigstupidjellyfish - 68k - explicit pro heros fic. they had a bad breakup in third year and oh god the angst is QUALITY. DW THEY TOTALLY MAKE UP AND IT'S SO FCKN WORTH IT. bkg also got therapy so he’s a little more stable as an adult lol

A Name That You'll Remember - heronfem - 33k - mature bkg is a fail!villain. he fell in with the wrong crowd when he was younger. he doesn't actually do anything wrong. in fact, all of his 'crimes' are generally stopped by kiri and somehow all end up exposing corruption anyway, so he's actually helping. kids love bkg. he always makes sure they're safe before he robs a jewelry store or sth. somehow kiri ends up flirting with him in all their fights and bkg has no idea what to make of him. the public can't get enough of them

strawberry mango sweet - redriotinggg - 9k - teen it's just a really sweet smoothie shop au!!! it's good reliable fluff!! what else can you ask for!!

cultivating something so divine - redriotinggg - 10k - teen redriotinggg yet again, i love this au, it's vet!au and kiri is so good at loving animals that bkg hires him and they fall in love and it's also got some competency porn, as in krbk are hella good at their job like power couple ayy

Tension Reduction - acernor - 10k - explicit Kirishima is a massage therapist and Bakugo needs help relaxing.

Mistletoe? Mistletoe. - Tearsaresalty - 2k - teen class 1a keeps making bkg kiss kiri and neither of them really mind wow i wonder why 🙄

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

[teashadephoenix]

Okay so I tried to finish this yesterday before I crashed for a nap, but I am old and weak so here it is.

Lucifer Season 5A overall thoughts!

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SPOILERS!

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-i called it. I knew if they opened with Mr Said Out Bitch it was gonna be bc he was dead-- had to be, bc Lucifer was in Hell. Didnt like being right. Thanks for heaping a bunch of character development on a great bit of comic relief just so he can be dead.

-not enough Trixie. What the fuck. Is this a Chandler Riggs situation? Can Scarlett not act or something? Give her stuff to do please.

-EIGHT EPISODES AND NO SINGING LUCIFER???? GODDAMN BLASPHEMY

-i get why people are frustrated with how Maze is written bc it seems like she never does anything but go back and forth but I mean... that's just the writing across the board for this series. Lucifer, Chloe, and Dan have all flipflopped as the seasons progress-- character growth is handled the way real people are, with relapses in bad behavior and having to reiterate lessons more than once. Unusual for television writing, which usually addresses an idea once and then fucks off it forever.

-That said, I enjoyed Maze's arc of dealing with abandonment and seeking a soul. It made sense and was in character-- Lesley played Maze like she felt utterly lost, near madness from frustration, seeking comfort the way she best knows (sex and violence) from the people she loves and not knowing what to do when it wasn't working. I hate that she's so easily manipulated but I feel like it really is bc she wants to feel normal so badly and doesnt realise that normal is relative.

-tangentially, Lilith did not play as big a part as I expected and i was sort of disappointed.

-I wonder if the ring will now be used to pass lilith's immortality to someone who needs it?

-Tom Ellis' performance as Michael was v good as I previously said, but the entire concept of him was nothing inspired. I really had high hopes for him bc I love twins and especially twins who are like the bane of each other's existence but ffs they didn't do anything with it! So he's the polar opposite of his brother, so what! He's a wicked little American hunchback who lies and schemes and plays on people's fears... why? To what end? His plan kept changing and his entire motivation seems to be "bc I'm a dick." Boring. And he dresses like a twat.

-Lucifer was not stuck in Hell for remotely a long enough time. I am an angstwhore and I wanted pining. The same fucking thing happened when they made Dean a demon on SPN-- oh no we've had a decent idea and gotten our hero up the tree, now let's do absolutely nothing with it and get him back down aqap! Fuck off. They gave us this difficult, interesting situation to work with (how can Lucifer have a relationship if he has to run Hell) and then the moment he came up for the tiniest amount of time, Hell apparently no longer needs a warden! Srsly? When only two months ago, all hell was breaking loose???? Fuck your fucking convenient handwave.

-also I am sad they dropped the hinted mental/emotional toll on Lucifer for having to return to Hell Granted the article is a year old, likely discussing ideas that were in the infancy, but I was looking forward to seeing the "alcoholic running a liquor store." Obviously once they decided they were doing Michael-playing-Lucifer and summarily realised nobody would believe Lucifer changed that much, it was easier to just come straight out and say "yea thats not him, thats the evil twin."

-Amenadiel is lovely as ever. Charming, funny, the perfect mix of earnest and awkward. DB Woodside nails him and I love him. I love his friendships with Dan and Maze, the big brother instinct he gets with Luci and Chloe. He's a big black dude whose primary role is caretaker and I am here for it.

-Nice to see happy funny Dan back after taking a bereavement sabbatical in s4. I like Kevin Alejandro's performance a lot and so I dont like when Dan's being a dickhead bc it makes me wanna smack him. Loved him reading Diablo scenes w Luci-- reminded me of s2 when they were dorking out about the Weaponizer movies. And the cemetery scene, wow. Dan realising Heaven and Hell are real and that he is in danger of damnation and how bad that scares him-- ow my heart. That having been said...

-I didnt really like characters having these massive bombshells dropped on them just bc Michael is a douche-- that's so lazy. It felt like the writers ticking off checkboxes. Okay so he tells Chloe she's a miracle. That's fine I guess-- there are stakes there. We know it's going to rock her world bc we know how much it damaged Lucifer when he found out. But then he orchestrates Dan finding out and apart from the shock factor... who cares? It matters after, but not before. There was no set-up for that punchline. We knew when Linda pushed Lucifer to "drop the metaphor" that it was going to be a biblical shock for her. We knew what a relief it was going to be for Charlotte, who thought she was losing her mind, to learn that Hell was real and she could change her fate. We knew it was a gamechanger when Chloe found out. And that's why Dan gets the fuck over it super fast, bc it doesn't matter. It was just a box to be checked. Boo.

-it was nice getting to see Tricia Helfer bc I adore that woman but i really do hope that we get to see Charlotte properly again. Take me to the silver city already i am sick of not knowing what it looks like.

-i love Linda to bits. She's funny, she's heartwarming, she's the owner of the single braincell and she and Ella occasionally share it while they watch the others try to bite their own elbows.

6/10

s4 > s2 > s5A = s1 = s3

[shels-kpop-main]

Moments, part 11

Word Count: 3146

Warnings: None. A little angst and fluff so soft

A/N: Please let me know what you guys think! Things will be heating up in the next chapter, but I had to get this last bit of fluff out of my system. If you’d like to be added to the taglist, send me an ask!

You stayed in Roger’s room the rest of the night, leaving only to retrieve the plate of food from the living room table. Upon returning with it, you set it on the bed between yourself and Roger, and the two of you shared it. After eating, the two of you stayed up talking for several hours. When you finally reached for Roger’s wrist to check the time, it was almost one in the morning.

But you didn’t leave. You just wove your fingers through Roger’s, and laid over. He did the same, and you fell asleep there. Curled up and facing each other, with your hands meeting in the middle.

You woke up to bright sunlight coming in through the window. You were still laying above the covers, but a wool blanket had been thrown over you and tucked under your feet. Your hand, previously holding onto Roger’s, was now loosely curled around his collar, the backs of your fingers pressed to his chest. You inhaled deeply, still half-asleep, but awake enough to appreciate being surrounded by things that smelled like Roger. Including Roger, who was still sound asleep across from you.

He had an arm draped over your waist, and the other rested next to his face on the pillow. You slowly pulled your hand from his shirt and touched his cheek instead. His face was warm to the touch, and smooth. You brushed your thumb softly from side to side, and this was enough to stir Roger a little. He opened his eyes slowly, only about halfway. His hand pressed to your back a little more firmly as he smiled.

“Morning, love.” His voice was husky from sleep, but it was offset by the look in his eyes. You twirled a strand of his hair between your fingers, and scooted a little closer to him.

“Good morning.”

The two of you stayed there for a few minutes, before you got up to go change. You smiled at Roger’s groans of complaint when you rolled out of bed. When you emerged from his room, still wearing your clothes from the night before, you looked down the hallway before hurrying up the stairs. The house was quiet, and it seemed that everyone had gone downstairs for breakfast already.

Which was good; you didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. God forbid someone see you coming out of Roger’s room in your clothes from the previous day and think you’d slept with him. It wasn’t anyone’s business, but knowing the guys, they’d tease you both out of the county for getting caught on a walk of shame.

The following week passed in a blur of messily-written new songs, a fresh series of photo prints, and many, many stolen kisses from Roger. He’d often pull you aside after dinner to press a trail of kisses from your mouth to the collar of your shirt. If Roger ducked outside for a smoke break during recording sessions, you’d grab him by the chin and pull his mouth to yours.

You’d somehow managed to never be found during these moments aside, but the guys weren’t stupid. They noticed the light smear of lipstick on Roger’s mouth when he came back inside. They noticed the looks you two shared over the dinner table. But you didn’t care. Being around Roger was the closest thing you had ever experienced to happiness with another person.

And however much you didn’t care, Roger cared even less. He mentioned your photography to the guys frequently, telling them about a particularly good (“bloody brilliant, you guys!”) shot you’d taken during rehearsals. He asked Deacy for advice on how to formally ask you out, to which Deacy rolled his eyes but told Roger everything he had done successfully with Veronica.

So, five days after he first kissed you by the fence outside the farm, Roger came to your door with another bouquet of dahlias.

“These are beautiful, Roger. Thank you.”

You beamed at the pretty, pink blooms in Roger’s hand and leaned in to kiss him. He accepted the kiss gratefully, immediately leaning down to you. You fidgeted with his collar, reveling in the sweet and smoky taste that you’d come to associate with Roger. You pulled away to take the flowers to the vase atop your dresser, smiling to yourself.

Roger closed the door behind him while you fiddled with the flowers. When you turned back to him, he was running a hair through his hair nervously.

“Something on your mind?” You raised an eyebrow and walked back over to him. Roger let out a breath, and shoved his hands in his pockets. His body language was starting to make you nervous, and you folded your arms.

“Yes, actually. I, uh… Whew, sorry,” Roger chuckled nervously. You must have looked concerned, but Roger’s face softened, he quickly reached forward to rub your arms.

“Everything’s alright, love,” he assured you, hands settled at your elbows. You gave him a half-hearted smile, still afraid of what he might say next.

“I just haven’t done this in a while with someone I care about,” Roger explained. You were just confused at that point, and waited for him to finish. His hands fell back to his sides.

“I, uh… I wanted to know if you’d like to go to dinner with me?” Roger rushed through the last few words, and it took you a moment to process what he said. But then, when his words hit you, you burst out laughing out of sheer relief. Roger gave you a confused frown, his eyebrows slanting with concern. You placed a hand on your chest, as if to steady your rapidly-beating heart. But then you flung your arms around his neck and kissed him fully.

“Roger Taylor,” you laughed, pulling away, “you nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“What, what’d I do?” Roger smiled a little, putting his arms around your waist. You shook your head, grinning up at him.

“You got all serious, and scared me!” You answered, giving him a light shove to the chest. Roger laughed, and a light blush came to his cheeks.

“Well, I was nervous! Been a moment since I’ve properly asked a girl on a date!” Roger replied, pulling you closer. Your hands fell to his collar, as they often did when Roger was holding you close like that. It was cathartic, in a way, to play with the fabric while you talked to him. It was grounding for the both of you.

“Did you think I would say no?” You cocked an eyebrow at him. Roger shrugged, clasping his hands on the small of your back.

“Well, not necessarily,” he smirked. You shook your head at his cockiness, smiling coyly. But Roger became serious again, brows furrowing.

“So, is that a yes?”

You rolled your eyes, and moved your hands up to weave into his hair.

“Yes, Roger,” you kissed him, “I would love to go to dinner with you.”

So Roger took you into town the following night, insisting that you both dress up for your first date. It was incredibly endearing to watch his face light up when you came down the stairs in your only formal dress. It was a navy blue cocktail dress, and although it wasn’t your favorite look, it gave you great joy to see Roger’s mouth fall open. He fidgeted with his cuffs a little as you approached him, and the thought of this cool, arrogant rock star being nervous for a date made you smile.

Roger drove you to a swanky restaurant in town, telling you to wait while he jogged around the car to open your door for you. The meal went well, and the two of you stayed there, talking and drinking, until well after dark.

You were happy. You and Roger still hadn’t slept together, at his behest, but you hardly had time to be annoyed with him. The two of you spent your free time walking around the farm, arms around each other, talking about anything that came to mind. Late nights stretched into early mornings, with you and Roger usually falling asleep in your room.

At some point, Roger had brought his guitar up to your room, to play you a new song he was trying to write. You loved the song, but sleep overtook you as you lay sideways next to him while he played. Roger simply leaned his guitar against the chair your camera was sitting on, and laid down next to you, falling asleep shortly after.

But those idyllic days on the farm were numbered. And you both knew this. But still, you and Roger enjoyed the bucolic lifestyle that came with staying at the farm.

One day, as the completion of the album drew nearer, you were sitting in the studio box with your camera as the guys recorded in the live room. The phone next to the soundboard rang between takes, and the audio engineer reached over absentmindedly to pick up.

“H’llo? Uh-huh. Yeah, she’s right here.” And with that, the guy handed you the phone and returned to his work. You frowned, holding the receiver, unsure of who would be calling you. But when you pressed your ear to the phone, a familiar voice crackled across the line.

“Hello?”

“Oh, thank God. Why haven’t you called me?” Your mom sounded fretful. You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Hi, Mom.”

“It’s been two weeks since you’ve called. I was worried sick!”

“I’m sorry, Mom, it’s been crazy here. I didn’t mean to worry you. Did Uncle Jim tell you about my photography?�� You attempted to deflect, but your mother was worked up, and ignored your question.

“And when are you coming home? You’ve been there for two months.”

“I don’t know, Mom. Wasn’t the whole point of staying here, to get away from everything?”

Your mom huffed out a sigh. “Well, yes, for a brief escape. Not to just move to England forever!” You rolled your eyes, already finding the conversation overlong.

“I’m not gonna be here forever,” you replied, exasperated. “It’s just that I’m waiting to hear back from the record company. The band’s manager wants to use my photos to promote the album, and they’re going to call any day. To tell me which pictures they want to use,” you trailed off, hoping your mom would appreciate the good news. But she was determined to be upset.

“Have you taken any classes?”

“I—well, no.”

“Gotten a job?”

“Potentially, weren’t you listening?” You were starting to get annoyed.

“It just seems too good to be true. If they like your pictures, what then? You just stay there, with the rock stars? Living in a dream, like you’ve been doing?”

For some reason, that statement really bothered you. Maybe you were just irritable at being faced with reality. Maybe it was the tone she took, or the way she worded it.

But you found yourself more determined than ever to make something of this getaway. Because your time on the farm had become meaningful to you. It wasn’t just an escape. You weren’t just living in a dream.

You were recovering.

Recovering from the shock you’d undergone at the loss of your dad. Recovering from the shift in your worldview. Recovering from the guilt you’d piled on yourself since that day in the hospital room with the beige floors.

“You know what,” you began, through gritted teeth. “It is like living in a dream. I have friends here now. I have Uncle Jim. I have—”

You looked up at that moment, to see Roger in the live room. He was saying something to Brian, a wide smile across his face. The sight of him brought you out of the haze of anger, and you experienced a splitting moment of clarity. No matter what, being here was worth it.

“I have everything I need here,” you finished, in a gentler tone. Mom exhaled, and you heard it, miles away, across the Atlantic.

“You’re living in a bubble, Y/N. Please come home.”

The sincerity of her tone caused you to falter. Your eyelids fluttered as you pulled your gaze away from Roger. He was joking with Freddie, who was doing a ridiculous pose on the drum risers.

“I will, Mom. When I’m ready.”

“Okay. I love you,” she replied, sounding defeated.

“I love you, too,” you said flatly, and hung up.

You had forgotten you weren’t alone until the sound engineer gave you a concerned side eye. You folded your arms.

“Sorry, Todd. Don’t tell anyone?”

The sound engineer named Todd nodded as he fiddled with the switches on the board. For all his stoicism, you were certain he could keep a secret.

“Thanks.” You left the building with tears in your eyes. Roger looked up toward the control room just as you picked up your camera. He could tell, even at a distance, that something was wrong. He knew your face well enough to tell that you were trying not to cry. You avoided looking at the guys as you exited the control room and ducked through the door without a word.

You were tired of being a mess in front of everyone, so you resolved yourself to sobbing out your frustrations in your bedroom.

Roger was staring at the door the entire time he played, even as the band finished recording their song. He wanted to go after you, but wasn’t sure if you wanted time alone. The guys noticed the funny look on his face, but didn’t say anything. When the session was wrapping up, Brian finally spoke up.

“What happened with Y/N?”

“God knows,” Freddie said, not really paying attention. He was still sitting at the piano, scribbling something on a loose piece of paper. “Anyone up for drinks in town?”

Roger ignored Fred’s question, looking from Brian, to Deacy, to the door you’d exited. Deacy had enough of Roger’s cluelessness, and broke the silence. “Oh for God’s sakes—go after her, Roger,” he told Roger, exasperated, pointing at the door. “See if she needs anything.”

“Right,” Roger responded quickly, rushing to get around his drums. Deacy rolled his eyes, but his heart was warm. Roger’s intentions were good, even if he needed a little encouragement sometimes. He found you in the attic, trying to fix something on your camera that wasn’t broken. By the time you walked to your room, the lump in your throat had disappeared. But you were still uneasy.

“Hey, love,” Roger’s soft voice hummed through the wide room.

“Not now, Roger.”

“Yes, now,” he insisted stubbornly. You frowned at him, still holding your camera.

“What happened?”

“My mom called.”

You were met with confused silence from Roger.

“She said I’m living in a dream, that I can’t stay here forever,” you sighed. It seemed this sentiment had not occurred to Roger either, and his face fell. But after a moment of thought, his eyes sparked.

“Maybe not, but that’s not the end of things. We can make it work,” he told you, looking hopeful and a little excited. You frowned at the floor, then at the Nikon in your hands. Before you realized what you were doing, you pulled the camera to your face. It created a barrier, gave you some control.

But through the lens, you saw Roger sigh and step nearer to you. He reached out and gently pushed the camera down, away from your face. You frowned, refusing to make eye contact.

“Don’t hide. You were so certain before. What happened to that?” His voice was low, gentle. It made you want to cry again.

“My mom,” you answered bitterly, looking him in the eyes. But Roger was confused, and stayed silent.

“She’s got a point, Rog. We’re living in a bubble. Eventually, I’m gonna have to go home, and you’re gonna have to tour.”

“Well, she’s half-correct,” Roger admitted. You frowned, unsure of his meaning. “You’re gonna have to go home at some point. And I’ve got the band. But,” he continued, pulling your camera out of your hands slowly. He set it down on the chair next to his guitar, then returned to you.

“That doesn’t mean we’re living in a bubble right now. This is happening.” He took your hands in his, squeezing them gently. You stared at his fingers, lost for words.

“Hey,” he pulled one hand away, and used it to tilt your chin up. The feeling of his fingers on your face sent tingles down your spine. You stared hard at him, trying not to be emotional.

“Please don’t be sad,” he urged. When you said nothing, Roger released your hands and crossed the room to your dresser. There, he smiled at the most recent flowers he’d given you. They sat in a blue vase, next to your pictures. But between them, sat an old radio. It was a little dusty, having gone unused in a house full of live music.

But Roger turned it on, and tuned it to the first clear station he could find. The small speakers crackled to life, filling the attic with a slow, bluesy song.

I’ve found my thrill On Blueberry Hill When I found you

“Dance with me,” Roger told you, holding out a hand and doing a ridiculous bow. You rolled your eyes, but felt the sting of anxiety fading. So you took his hand, and put your other arm around his neck. Roger was a decent dancer when he wasn’t trying to act a fool, and he guided you in slow circles across the room.

The moon stood still On Blueberry Hill And lingered until My dream came true

The lyrics were sweet, comforting. The melody, coupled with Roger’s fingers drumming softly on your waist, turned your mouth up at the corners. And, without warning, Roger began to sing along, swaying you side to side a little.

“For you were my thrill,” he sang, to your giggling. “On Blueberry Hill…”

You were smiling wide and bright by the time the song ended. Roger finished the dance with a small flourish, lifting your hand and urging you to do a small twirl. Which you did, much to his delight.

Roger grinned at you as he released your hand. You rubbed your arms, and stepped back to him. The next song began, an upbeat swing bop.

“Feel better?” He asked, looking genuinely hopeful. You rested your forehead against his shoulder, prompting him to wrap his arms around you in one of his characteristically comforting hugs.

“Yes,” you mumbled into his shirt. Roger kissed the side of your head, still tapping the beat of the last song onto your waist.

“Good.”

“Thank you,” you pulled back to look at him. Roger answered with a peck to your lips, and a wide grin.

“Any time, love. Can’t have my girl worried.”

Taglist:

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[inyournightmares97]

My Youth (Chapter 6)

Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/depression, death, angst, slow build, maybe some language.(Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.)

Word Count: 5.7k+

(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)

“-Mom, I’m busy,” Jinyoung muttered into the phone. He had been sitting in a crucial meeting with the Finance Director of GOT Tech and representatives of the Financial Regulatory Board. Receiving approval for his company to go public was one of the most critical and risky steps in Jinyoung’s career.

His mother, however, had been calling him constantly for the last twenty minutes.

Mrs. Park sounded upset. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung, dear. I just needed to reach you-”

“Mom, I’m in an extremely important meeting right now. Do you know how it looks when the Managing Director of GOT Group keeps getting calls from his mother during business meetings? What do you want from me?” Jinyoung demanded in a frustrated whisper, running his fingers through his hair. He tried not to let his agitation show on his face; the other high-profile attendees of the meeting could still see him through the glass wall of the conference room.

“Jinyoung, there’s been a terrible tragedy in town,” his mother began nervously. “I don’t… I don’t know how to tell you this, but i suppose there’s no easy way to talk about a death.  Remember I told you that I’ve been going to the hospital every day to meet-”

Jinyoung felt a burst of irritation. The clock was ticking. The Board members were waiting for him impatiently and he could see the disapproval on their faces. “Mom, did you call me to tell me that someone died?”

“Well… yes, but-”

“Mom, I have been preparing for this presentation for months. The future of my company depends on this meeting. This is absolutely the worst time you could have chosen to tell me something like this,” Jinyoung muttered through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “Please don’t mess up my focus right now. We can talk about this later. Do you need anything from me urgently?”

Mrs. Park hesitated. “You always seem to be busy these days. I just thought… if we could maybe help out with the funeral expenses or the hospital bills…”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. “Mom, you can just call my secretary for that. She’ll send you whatever amount you need. Send them flowers from me or something, okay? I have to go now.”

“Take care, Jinyoung, dear-”

“Bye, Mom.”

Jinyoung hung up and sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple. His personal secretary had followed him out of the room and was watching him nervously. He hadn’t even asked his mother who it was that had passed away. Was it somebody he knew? Maybe it was best that he didn’t think about it too much for now.

“Take my Mom’s call and ask her who died, send them money for the funeral and all those formalities,” Jinyoung told his secretary shortly. She nodded and made a note of it on her phone quickly while Jinyoung cleared his mind.

Focus. The presentation. The numbers.  

Jinyoung took a deep, calming breath and plastered a rehearsed smile on his face before he turned to enter the conference room once more.

“I’m so sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting,” Jinyoung greeted all the well-dressed men with a bright smile. “I hope you can forgive me. Mothers seem to have a knack for calling at the most inconvenient times, don’t they?”

The men chuckled politely. “That’s perfectly fine, Mr. Park.”

“May I begin the presentation?”

“Please, do.”

--------

Jinyoung believed that to achieve something great, you needed to make certain sacrifices.

He had always known that the path he was embarking upon was not an easy one. Establishing your own business meant that you didn't get off work at 5 pm sharp, you couldn’t spend your weekends at a countryside cabin or getting drinks with your friends. You needed to keep working until things got done. You needed to compete in the market. You needed to be strong enough to pick up after your losses and clever enough to make friends in the right places. People were depending on you.

Jinyoung hadn’t merely chosen a career, he had chosen a life.

A very lonely life.

Whenever his mother would call him and try to have a casual chat, Jinyoung would find himself irritated. Who cared whether Mrs. Lee from the grocery store was giving a discount on strawberry bread? What did it matter if Mr. Cha had been trying to sell his little farmland? There was important work to be done. Jinyoung needed to talk to the advertising agents to make sure his products were being launched properly, he needed to negotiate discounts with suppliers to ensure he could meet the planned pricing goals. There were employees relying on him. There were investors who had trusted him with their money. There were quarterly goals that had to be met.

Every second of Jinyoung’s time was precious. Why couldn’t everyone understand that? Why couldn’t his mother stop thinking that her tiny little world in this tiny little town was everything, and understand the importance of what her son was doing?

There are a limited number of hours every man has at his disposal. We each make a conscious choice regarding how to spend each one.

It was only now, standing in front of your mother’s grave, that Jinyoung came a terrifying realization.

He had made the wrong choices.

------

“It was heart failure,” Mrs. Park whispered.

Jinyoung’s hands clutched the cup of tea firmly. It was hot and uncomfortable, but not more than the sick feeling in his stomach. Every word his mother spoke made him feel more pathetic.

What had he been doing all those months while your mother was in hospital and when she’d died? Preparing for his company to go public? Sitting in meetings and sucking up to corporate officials? Only to be fired and thrown out of the company. Only to have missed the death of somebody who had trusted him and cared for him.

“But she couldn’t have been that old…” Jinyoung muttered.

Mrs. Park shook her head softly. “She’d always had a weak heart, Jinyoung. Her health was fragile and after her husband passed away she had no choice but to work to support her daughter. All those long hours and late nights for years… they took their toll in the end. She had her first stroke three years ago. She was in hospital for a few weeks and then she had the second one; the one that took her life.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes, remembering your mother in his mind’s eye.

“She always looked tired. And worried.”

“She was.” Mrs. Park reached out and placed a hand over her son’s nervously. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung. I should have told you about it sooner. But you were always so busy in Seoul, always doing important things. It never seemed like the right time to tell you about something so devastating. It’s my fault.”

Jinyoung let out a small scoff. “Don’t take the blame on yourself. That doesn’t help me.”

Mrs. Park looked upset. “Jinyoung-”

She was interrupted by a loud knocking at the front door. Jinyoung closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple while he listened to his father go to the door and yell at the person on the other side. The reporters had already found his home address. They had started arriving one-by-one since this morning. Each of them desperately wanted an interview with Park Jinyoung, the man who had lost his empire overnight. They wanted to know what he had to say about his dismissal from his own company.

Mr. Park re-entered the living room and sighed. “They’re getting more persistent. I think I should call the local police before they start trying to shove their way into our house.”

Jinyoung nodded and stood up. “I’ll go down to the police station myself and ask them to send someone to deal with this harrassment. Mom, you’ve told everyone we know to deny any reporters who request them for an interview, right?”

“Yes, but is it really a good idea for you to be going outside now-”

“I think I’ll lose my mind if I stay indoors,” Jinyoung muttered. He grabbed the black hoodie that was slung over the back of the sofa and glanced at his parents. They were both looking at him with wide, worried eyes.

Jinyoung felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him; why should they have to deal with so much because of his mistakes? Why was he always the one taking and yet never giving?

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “I’ll try and be back for dinner.”

------

Jinyoung’s legs carried him naturally towards the elementary school.

Perhaps it was a subconscious urge to see you, even though he had no idea what he would say if you really appeared before him. Anything Jinyoung could have said to help should have been said three years ago. Words like I’m sorry seemed like an insensitive joke at this point; too little and far too late.

Jinyoung sat silently on the bench by the schoolyard with his face covered by his dark hoodie, and wondered how his life had brought him to this point.

Left with nothing with shame.

“Ahjussi!”

By the time Jinyoung looked up, there was already a tiny figure running straight towards him at full speed. He flinched and braced himself for the impact; only to have the small boy stop centimetres away from him and throw his arms around him happily. Jinyoung stiffened.

“What-”

“Ahjussi, you are Park Jinyoung!” Ki-woo cried delightedly. The boy was beaming. Jinyoung noticed for the first time that one of his front teeth was missing, but it was still one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. “Miss told me yesterday! Why did you lie and say you weren't? I can’t believe the King of the Playground walked me home after school and I didn’t even know!”

Jinyoung couldn’t resist a small smile. The sight of the little boy bouncing on his feet warmed him for a moment and he patted Ki-woo on the head. “If somebody asked Clark Kent if he was Superman, he wouldn’t say yes, now would he?”

Ki-woo’s eyes widened in understanding. “Wow. That’s so true! You’re so cool!”

“You’ll have to keep my secret.”

“Of course I will! Ahjussi, can you tell me how you did it? How did you manage to climb the oak tree?” Ki-woo demanded, grabbing Jinyoung’s arm and tugging on it eagerly. “You have to tell me, you just have to! Were you really tall?”

Jinyoung blinked. “Tall? Not particularly…”

“Then how? How did you do it?”

Jinyoung opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by a loud yell. He had been so preoccupied with Ki-woo that he hadn’t noticed the much larger man that was making his way across the school yard. Jackson Wang had a huge smile on his face and without greeting, he threw his arms around Jinyoung in a fierce hug.

“Park Jinyoung! Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!” Jackson cried happily. He pulled back and noticed the blank look on Jinyoung’s face. With a frown, he pointed to himself eagerly. “Remember me? Jackson! Jackson Wang! You used to pass me all the answers in History class!”

Jinyoung swallowed. “Uh…”

“Mr. Wang, you’re friends with Park Jinyoung?” Ki-woo asked, his mouth gaping open.

Jackson blinked and looked down at the boy sheepishly. “Ah, Ki-woo. I didn’t see you down there. Didn’t your teacher tell you to wait inside until someone came to pick you up? Go back indoors now.”

Ki-woo pouted. “But-”

“Nope. Back inside. Now.”

Jackson waited until Ki-woo began to slouch back towards the school building and then turned back to Jinyoung. “Man, you’re pretty much the celebrity around these parts now, eh? We had a couple of reporters come by the school this morning, asking for anyone who used to know you. You have nothing to worry about! I scared them off. These babies aren’t here for nothing,” Jackson beamed and flexed his bare bicep.

Jinyoung didn’t really know how to respond. “Nice.”

Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You do remember me, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course-”

“We should get drinks sometime and catch up now that you’re back in town! Man, I really owe you. You did me a solid one that Christmas before you left, remember? I’ll buy you a couple of beers at the pub. What’s your phone number?” Jackson demanded.

“I don’t really have a phone right now…”

“Don’t have a phone?” Jackson looked confused. “Weird but okay. I guess I can always ask Miss First Grade to get in touch with you. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me you were back in town!” he cried, slapping Jinyoung’s arm playfully. “Hold on… you’re here to see her, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Not exactly…”

Jackson chuckled knowingly. “No worries, man. I’ve got your back. I need to go inside and take care of the kids now, so I’ll tell her to come out and meet you here, yeah? Let me know if any more of those reporters come around. I’ll take handle them for you!”

Jinyoung forced a smile. “Thanks-”

“No problem, man. It’s what friends are for. We’ll catch up soon!”

“Sure.”

Jinyoung watched Jackson half-run back to the school building, letting out a sigh of relief. Each person he came across in this town seemed to remember something about him and the one who possessed the most dangerous knowledge was Jackson Wang. In addition to having been the resident supplier of inappropriate magazines and the one who’d convinced Jinyoung to try his first cigarette behind the park back in high school, Jackson simply knew a little too much about everybody.

Jinyoung sat down on the bench and took a deep breath. He just realized that Jackson had said he would send you out to meet him. Why hadn’t he told him not to? He wasn’t prepared to face you. Idiot.

It was a few minutes before you emerged from the school building and walked towards Jinyoung. There was a pleasant smile on your face as you approached, and it made Jinyoung’s stomach turn. How could you smile at him like that? How could you be so calm about everything?

“Jinyoung,” you greeted him, confused. “Should you be roaming around out here? There are reporters buzzing all around town.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Uh. Yeah, I know. Jackson said he drove them away...”

You rolled your eyes. “That idiot Jackson Wang? He was fully prepared to seize his five minutes of fame by telling them how you used to help him cheat in History class. I had to step in and force him to deny the request for an interview,” you muttered. Jinyoung’s eyes widened and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I sent a message to the principal of the middle school and the high school. Nobody’s going to give any interviews about you.”

Jinyoung felt small.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Did they find your house?”

“Yeah. They’ve been knocking the door all day. It’s really starting to bother Mom and Dad.”

Your expression was sympathetic. “Should I call the police?”

“Don’t worry. I was going to go down to the station myself and ask them to send someone to get rid of the reporters,” Jinyoung reassured you. He felt his heartbeat thump wildly as he looked at your gently smiling face. Should he say it? Should he talk about the elephant in the room? Even though he hadn’t prepared what to say?

“About… about last night…”

You blinked. “Yeah?”

He sighed. “About your mother. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know that’s no excuse, but I should have been there and-”

You cut him off with a forced smile. “Jinyoung. It’s okay. It’s not like you could have done anything for her even if you were here, you’re not a doctor. Everyone did the best they could.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I might not have been able to help her. But… I should have been there for you.”

The smile dropped from your face. What could you say? Jinyoung’s eyes were filled with shame but it wasn’t the right time for him to be offering condolences. That time had long passed.

But you still remembered his words from last night as he’d hugged you. I don’t feel as alone when I’m here. Jinyoung had been through so much. How could you say anything to such a broken man except for it’s okay? How could you offer him anything but comfort when he had nobody but you?

How could you not be the bigger person when he was suffering?

“It’s fine, Jinyoung,” you promised him softly. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“How can I not-”

“Seriously. Please. It’s in the past and nobody was to blame. It happened around the time your company was going public, so I can only imagine how chaotic your life and work must have been back then. I don’t resent you.”

Jinyoung looked up at you in disbelief. “How can you not?”

“I just… don’t. It’s fine.”

“Do you really mean that? Do you really mean that?” he demanded.

“I do,” you insisted firmly. You glanced at your watch and sighed. “Wow, it’s getting late. We have a PTA fundraiser at school tonight so I need to start setting up. Oh! Did you bring my bicycle by any chance?” you asked him hopefully.

Jinyoung shook his head. “Uh, no. The reporters were in front of my house so I slipped out through the back…”

“Can you drop it by the school later? I’m going to staying back pretty late because I have to wrap up after the event is over. It might even take till midnight and the buses stop running at 9 so I need a way to get home. It’s not too much trouble, is it?”

“No, that’s fine. I’ll drop it off here later.”

You gave him a small smile as you turned to go back indoors. “Bye, Jinyoung.”

“Bye.”

---------------------------

The PTA fundraiser left you drained of energy.

You would much rather have dealt with a hundred kids at once than with a handful of parents. At least kids could be made to see reason, they could be convinced with a little bit of logic (however flawed). Adults, on the other hand, believed that they knew best and that things had to be done exactly the way they wanted. Adults were unreasonable. Adults liked to throw around their authority.

You had never wanted to get into bed so badly.

You stayed back late to clean up after the fundraiser was over. It wasn’t required of you, but it was something that you somehow ended up volunteering to do. All the other teachers had families to go home to and kids to take care of. You only had an empty apartment.

Asking them to stay back instead of you felt selfish.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and trudged out into the parking lot to see that the bicycle racks were empty. Shit. Had Jinyoung forgotten to leave the bicycle behind for you? Where was he?

You pulled out your cell phone and then sighed. Damn Park Jinyoung. He didn’t even have a stupid phone. It was far past the time that Mr. and Mrs. Park would have gone to bed and you didn't want to wake them by calling them. But your apartment was too far to walk and you would have to pass by the pub; you had no interest in meeting the town’s drunkards alone in those narrow alleys  at midnight.

You sighed and dialled another number.

“Jackson, hey. I’m so sorry, I know you just left a little while ago, but…”

-------------------

It was 1am when you heard a loud banging on your front door.

You had just finished taking a shower and were getting ready to slip into bed when the noise began. Your heartbeat racing, you grabbed hold of a kitchen knife quickly and then slowly approached your door.

“Who’s there?” you yelled out, voice shaking.

The voice that replied was muffled. “Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung? At this time of night?

You opened the door carefully. The first thing that hit you was the awful smell; Jinyoung stank of sweat and cheap beer. His eyes were red and his face flushed as he looked at you almost wildly.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, grabbing your shoulders to look at you properly. His hands were trembling and he seemed unaware of how loud his voice was. “Are you all right? I was looking for you everywhere!”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Wow, you’re drunk.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry- I’m so, so, sorry-”

“How about you come inside before you bring my neighbours running over with all of your noise?” you snapped. You had little patience for drunks, and knowing that Jinyoung had been out getting drunk instead of returning your bicycle did not please you. “Where have you been?”

Jinyoung stared at you helplessly, his arms waving around as he spoke. “I-I was just going to get one drink, I swear. But it led to another and I totally forgot about your bike and I was so scared that you might have walked home because I know that path passes by the pub and it’s not safe-”

“Relax,” you told Jinyoung as you guided him gently towards your couch. “I didn't walk. I called Jackson, he drove me home.”

“Jackson? Wang? Why? Are you guys close?” he asked, plopping down heavily on the couch.

You shrugged. “He’s a good friend.”

Jinyoung paused for a moment and then hung his head quietly.

“We used to be good friends.”

You looked down at Jinyoung properly. He was a wreck. His dark hair was a tangled mess and the light blue dress shirt he was wearing was wrinkled with a beer stain on it. There were even large sweat stains under his arms; he’d probably cycled all the way here in a panic.

And he’s one of the Most Eligible Bachelors under 40. If only the magazine had seen him like this.

“We’re still friends,” you told him lightly. “Although it wouldn’t do any harm to return my bicycle when I ask for it. Do you want a glass of water?”

Jinyoung blinked at you dazedly. “Do you have beer?”

“Absolutely not. Haven’t you had enough?”

His lower lip pouted slightly as he stared down at the floor. “I’ve been drinking all evening but I haven’t reached the point where I feel good or forget about my problems yet. In fact, I keep thinking about them even more. How about a cigarette?”

“You will not smoke in my house,” you told him with a firm glare.

To your surprise, Jinyoung suddenly smiled. It was only a gentle curve of his lips but you spotted it and frowned at him with your arms folded across your chest. “Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? Do you think your behaviour is something to laugh about?” you demanded.

Jinyoung looked up at you softly. “No.”

“Then why are you-”

“Because this is the first time you’ve given me that look since I came back,” Jinyoung admitted quietly. His voice trembled. “This is the first time you got angry at me. You don’t seem to get angry at me anymore.”

You didn’t understand. “Why would you want me to be angry at you-”

“Because you have to be angry with someone before you can forgive them. You have to first admit that they hurt you or that they did something wrong, and only then can you begin to repair your relationship,” Jinyoung whispered. He looked up at you and you could see the tears brimming in his eyes. “So tell me honestly. Have you forgiven me already?”

You swallowed. “I was never mad at you to begin with-”

“You’re lying.”

You clenched your fists as your heartbeat thudded. “I’m not lying. You’re drunk. You should drink some water and you can sleep on the couch-”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his eyes bloodshot yet surprisingly clear. “You are lying. Either you’re lying or you’re not the same girl I remember.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because the girl I knew wouldn’t have pretended to forgive a friend to spare his feelings. She would have grabbed me by the shirt, looked me in the eye, and said Park Jinyoung, you’re an absolute bastard for leaving me here when I was having a hard time. She wouldn’t have spared my feelings. She would have expected me to be there for her because that’s what friends do. They count on each other.”

You closed your eyes. How had Jinyoung seen right through you? Even after 10 years, how could he see through you like you were made of glass?

“I’m not angry,” you tried to tell him slowly, even though you weren’t sure who you were convincing anymore. “Because I never expected you to be there. You were busy and I had no expectations-”

Jinyoung scoffed. “You’re lying again.”

“I’m not-”

“You are. Friendship is when you help someone, because you trust that they would do the same for you. What you’re doing for me isn’t friendship. You don’t trust me anymore. If you have no expectations from me, then that’s charity!” Jinyoung spat out. Tears were brimming in his eyes and his voice was choked. “Is that what I am to you? Charity?”

You clenched your fists and let out a small, humourless laugh. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

“What?”

“Where the fuck do you get off accusing me of treating you like charity? After what you did?” you snapped.

Jinyoung stared at you blankly. “Tell me.”

Your throat closed up. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to drag yourself back to what had been the lowest point of your life, especially not in front of Jinyoung. You didn’t know who he was to you anymore. How could you open up to him?

“I can’t,” you muttered. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jinyoung.”

“Please,” Jinyoung whispered. “Please. At least tell me I was a terrible friend for not being there. Tell me I was a terrible friend for not even knowing about your mother.”

You took a deep breath and sat down, your knees feeling weak. You had never imagined that you would have to sit next to Jinyoung and say these words to him while he was drunk. Yet, as his dark eyes pierced into yours, he looked more sober than ever.

“It was my fault she died,” you whispered, shakily. “I know how hard my Mom worked to raise me. I know how much she struggled after my Dad passed away. The doctor told me her heart attack was probably caused by stress- years of it. She was growing old but she’d never even gone for a health check-up because we couldn’t afford it.”

Jinyoung stared at you silently.

“I needed someone to say this to back then,” you admitted quietly. “I needed someone who would listen to me and who wouldn’t try to convince me that it wasn’t my fault or that I didn't do anything wrong. That’s what everyone kept doing. They kept trying to comfort me but I just wanted someone who would listen. I wanted you,” you mumbled.

Jinyoung only nodded. His hands reached out to take both of yours. He grasped them tightly.

“I knew you were busy, but I always had this hope that maybe you would come to the funeral,” you whispered. “I thought… surely, whatever I did to make you cut me off, it wasn’t so bad that you wouldn't even turn up to my mother’s funeral. But the truth was that I couldn’t grieve properly because the hospital was hounding me about the bills, I…”

You took a deep breath. You hated thinking about those moments. You had felt so helpless and alone, backed into a corner. “I don’t think it even sank in that my mother was dead until a few days later,” you mumbled. “ I spent the first day wondering how the hell I was going to pay the hospital bills instead of thinking about her. Your mother tried comforting me, she told me it would all be fine and that she would call you for help.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes; tears were clinging to his eyelashes.

“She did,” he mumbled.

You felt the walls around you come crashing down as you looked at the broken man in front of you. You remembered how badly you’d wanted to see him then, how much you’d craved his comfort. You remembered how furious you had been when you realized that Jinyoung had abandoned you.

“I thought you would call,” you mumbled. “I didn’t want to disturb you but at the same time I trusted that you wouldn’t leave me alone at a time like that.”

Jinyoung’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry.”

“It would have been better if you hadn't done anything at all,” you mumbled. “Maybe then I could have forgotten about it in the mess that I was going through. But you didn’t. I got a call from your secretary the night before the funeral.”

Jinyoung lowered his head. His hands were trembling even as they held yours and you could hear his soft sniffle. “Shit,” he muttered, his voice thick with tears. “Shit, I can’t believe-”

“I thought you’d finally called. But it wasn’t you. I had to hear some strange woman tell me over the phone that Park Jinyoung is sorry he can’t make it to the funeral but he sends his condolences,” you choked out. You smiled humorlessly. “As if I was some distance acquaintance you barely knew. You sent me your condolences through your secretary.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know it was you…”

“And then she told me that if I would just email her a copy of the hospital and funeral bills then all the expenses would be taken care of,” you mumbled. “She said that she could send me as much as I needed, no limit. I was so embarrassed. I wanted-I wanted to tell her that you could go fuck yourself and that I didn’t want your condolences and your money. I wanted to refuse so badly, but…”

You hung your head in shame. “But I couldn’t,” you whispered. “I couldn’t say that to her because it was true. I had no other way of paying those bills. So I sent her the details and I let you pay for them. Whether you know it or not, you paid for all my mother’s hospital bills and funeral while I sat here and wondered how I had become such a worthless daughter.”

Jinyoung’s hands clasped yours so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders were shaking and you could see the sobs racking his chest. “I didn’t mean to-” he sobbed. Jinyoung’s tears landed on your clasped hands. “I didn’t mean to, I swear…”

You slowly removed your hands from his. “I have the accounts,” you muttered. “I’ve been saving up to pay you back. It might take me a few more years but-”

Jinyoung flinched. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s not open to discussion, Jinyoung.”

“Don’t say you’ll pay me back, please-”

“I will pay you back,” you said firmly. You took a deep breath. “You know why? Because I might be able to forgive you for not being there when I needed you. But I will never, never forget how cheap I felt the moment I ended that phone call. So don’t talk to me about charity; I know how it feels to be on the other end of it.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. He felt light-headed and blank as he thought about everything you’d said. No wonder you didn’t consider him a friend. No wonder you couldn't bring yourself to be honest with him. No wonder there was something fake and forced about your every smile.

Jinyoung hadn’t just messed up.

He had destroyed something precious to him without even realizing it.

“It’s late,” you mumbled after a brief silence. “You should go to sleep. Here, just; make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I-I can’t…”

“You’re not going anywhere at this time of night while you’re drunk,” you told him. You pushed him lightly so that he leaned back against the sofa. “Stay put. I’ll be back. I think we’ve talked enough for tonight.”

“Can you just promise me one thing?” Jinyoung asked quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Even if you don’t consider me your friend anymore, even if you’re just being nice to me because you’re that kind of a caring person… don’t give up on me completely.” Jinyoung looked up at you desperately. “Please. Tell me that I can fix things. Tell me I haven’t broken our friendship and my life beyond repair.”

You looked down at him. Lying on your couch in his crumpled dress shirt and the beer stains, Jinyoung looked pathetic. Perhaps it was because you’d finally let out all the resentment you’d been bottling up for so long. Perhaps it was because, looking into Jinyoung’s eyes now, you could see that he did care. But you suddenly didn’t feel so hollow anymore.

You didn’t feel so lonely in your pain.

“Everything can be fixed, Jinyoung,” you told him softly.

“Even us?” he mumbled.

You nodded. “Even us.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you.”

Jinyoung slowly closed his eyes and you went into the other room to get him a spare pillow and a blanket. He let you place the pillow under his head and snuggled into the soft blanket. You turned to switch off the light when you heard him mumble.

“You know something?”

“What, Jinyoung?”

“I thought that the most unbearable thing about being fired from the company was all the effort I’d put into it. I thought I couldn’t bear it because I’d done so much for it for the years,” he said slowly.

You blinked at his curled up figure under the blanket.

“But it’s not?” you asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s not how much I’ve done for the company that I can’t bear. It’s how much I sacrificed for it.”

-------------------

[captain-kingliamsqueen]

With a Heavy Heart

I LOVE YOUR READING YOUR FEEDBACK SO DONT HESITATE TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! <3

Pairing: Liam x Riley 

possibly a series...you’ll have to wait and see!

Summary: …Riley sick and tired of the way she is treated by madeleine, what will she do about it?

Word Count: 2,476

Tagged : @starstruckzonkoperatorbat  @drakelover78  @queencatherynerhys @devineinterventions2 @jayjay879  @kawairinrin  @hopefulmoonobject @flyawayblue56  @gardeningourmet  @blackcatkita  @syltti78  @diamond-dreamland  @theroyalweisme  @hhiggs  @mfackenthal  @bruteforcebears @pens-girl-87 @barbaravalentino @umccall71 @darley1101 @crookedslimecreatorpasta @jamjar84 @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid 

 ASK IF YOU WANT TAGGED! SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE! (USED THE TAGS FROM MY “ALWAYS” SERIES LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE WANTS UNTAGGED!!!)

I always notice every single spelling mistake or issue after I’ve posted…so apologies in advance! 

 “How dare you ask me to do that!? I will not be your mistress Liam!” Riley loudly whispered trying not to wake anyone from their sleep, how dare he ask her to do that, she would never do something like that! It Riley's first night back at court, her first time seeing Liam since the coronation.

“Riley, please calm dow-”

“calm down!? BOY YOU MUST BE CRAZY! TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT YOU LIAM RHYS!”

“Riley! Please!”

“you are engaged to madeleine, it may not be what is in your heart Liam, but you are still engaged!”

“Riley, please, hear me out! I didn’t ask you to be my mistress, I would never ask you to do that, and that fact that you think I would hurts, all I’m saying is that madeleine knows I don’t love her, and she doesn’t care, she doesn’t care if we see each other, we can still be together, just until we figure this whole thing out! I’m not saying let’s throw our clothes off and jump into bed…let’s play hide the goddamn sausage!!” Liam bellowed in a hushed tone Liam pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm himself down. “all I mean is that we can spend time together”

“but we have to do it in secret…we have to sneak around again! I don’t want to spend my life sneaking around Liam!” she cried “I have laid everything out for you! Liam, I know you were going to pick me at the coronation ball, I know that you’re in the middle of this too…but its hurts, having to sneak around with the man I’m in love with, not being able to interact with him properly in case anyone sees us or speculates something” she turned her back to him to avoid him seeing the tears running down her face. Riley looked up towards the ceiling to try and stop the tears from falling.

Riley sighed as she heard Liam step forward then she felt his hands gently holding her waist as he placed a gentle kiss on her head “I know it’s not your fault Liam…I know that” she whispered softly “it’s just a lot to deal with…”

“I never wanted to hurt you Riley, that’s why I chose madeleine, to keep you safe but ultimately it just hurt you more and I will spend the rest of my life apologising for that”

“no, I don’t want you to do that, you were thinking about my safety Liam, no one can fault you for that…I just wish you had consulted me first, I don’t want you to blame yourself for our predicament Liam, I don’t blame you, so neither should you. I need you to remember that…you have been raised to deal with most situations in court, you have been taught not to show your honest feelings when they aren’t required, I wear my heart on my sleeve Liam, if I love something or someone, I show them, I show everyone, you see it in my face, in the way I act, I wasn’t taught the way you were its physically and mentally draining trying to hide everything, I always seem to be the one that gets hurt Liam and I don’t know how much longer I can spend sneaking around, getting hurt, I know its unintentional believe me I do, but you still hurt me.” She sighed

“I know, I love you Riley, I love you so damn much, I need you to know that, I need you to tell me that you know that.”

“I do, I know you do Liam”

“then I hope you will accept my apology Riley and I hope that you know that I would never intentionally hurt you”

“I know that” she whispered “I think I need to be alone right now Liam...I just need to let myself calm down…”

“okay…as you wish, I love you so much!” he whispered defeated

“goodnight riley” he whispered before gently placing a kiss on the back of her head. Then headed out of the bedroom and making his way to his own on the other side of madeleines property.

As Liam reached his rom door, his phone pinged, he sighed then pulled it from his pocket, smiling as he read the message he had received.

When Riley awoke the next day, she pulled herself from her bed, stumbling tiredly into the bathroom to shower, then she dressed, just as she finished pulling her shoes on there was a knock at her door, she smiled knowing it was Maxwell. She opened then door smiling to be greeted with his usual grin.

“good morning!!” he smirked

“good morning max” she chuckled

“so, are you ready for the garden party?”

“physically yes…mentally not so much” she sighed

“don’t worry, I’ll be with you the whole time”

“thank you max”

The two headed out to the garden where they were met with hundreds of nobles. As Riley walked out she caught madeleines glare across the path. Riley watched as a smirk fell onto madeleines face as she stared her dead in the eye, she reached her hand down, linking her hand with Liam's.

“Riley…are you okay?” Maxwell asked full of concern

“yeah…yes, I’m fine, let’s find our table” she mumbled then headed for the table where Drake and Hana sat.

It was about an hour later when Riley headed into the grand hall with Hana to make their way to the bathroom, madeleine approached them with a smile on her face.

“lady Hana, lady Riley, how very nice of you to join us”

“thank you for having us” Hana replied politely

“oh, it’s no problem, king Liam and I are happy you are here to celebrate our engagement with us”

“of course, we wouldn’t miss it for anything…” Riley stated begrudgingly.

“I hope you enjoyed the food, we do like to keep our dogs well fed” madeleine smirked

“how da-”

“lady Kayliegh, lady Hana” Liam called smiling as he approached

“I noticed your trainings been going well lady riley” madeleine stated

“training?!” Riley raised her voice a little knowing there was no one else in the room.

“yes, your training, we train our dogs well in Cordonia…very obedient to orders from their masters”

“madeleine!” Liam warned

“you know madeleine, you don’t act like a queen, no one will respect you if you treat everyone like shit! And when the crown goes down, it will be your fault…Liam…he has been the perfect kind, but you…my god, you just drag the monarchy down, he’s trying to lift the spirits but you, you’re just dragging that lovely golden ground through the dirt, so I cannot wait to see the whole of Cordonia turn on you! Because you know…that’s what happens when owners don’t treat their dogs right!”

“I am the queen in waiting! You will not speak to me like that!”

“hah! Queen in waiting…yeah you’ll be waiting a long damn time!” Riley laughed

“I wish Cordonia luck with you as their queen, it’s a good thing Liam's there to fix all the shit you’re going to cause”

“enough! Both of you, do not make a scene in front of the nobility!” Liam stated

“maybe there wouldn’t be a scene Liam, if this bitch would just wind her fucking neck in! I don’t care who the hell she is, if she can hand it out she can damn well take it back!”

“that is your king and you will address him as such!”

“madeleine! Leave it! There are guests outside, waiting to talk with you!” Liam sighed

“ahh my soon to be subjects, I should get going, but I’m sure you can find your way back to the kennels that you came from! Maybe you should put yourself on a plane and go back to the dump you came from! Maybe you can get your waitressing job back…that’s really all your good for isn’t it lady Riley…serving those better than you! That must be why people have been calling you the kings mistress…because you serve him in ways you shouldn’t!” she smirked as she walked past Riley, bumping her shoulder as she went.

“Riley…” Liam reached out to take Riley's hand, she pulled her hand away from him, them stormed out of the room.

“Riley…” he repeated as he walked after her, as they reached the corridor Liam had caught up to her, he took her hand gently, stopping her from walking away.

“Rile-” Liam stopped himself as Riley turned and he seen her tear stained cheeks

“I will deal with her…I promise, that was unacceptable the way she spoke to you, she shouldn’t be speaking to anyone like that!”

“I am sick and tired of being her punching bag!!” she bellowed “don’t you see Liam…just by her being the queen in waiting…the way she treats everyone…she’s dragging the crown through the dirt! I will not sit back and let her degrade me anymore Liam! I don’t care who she is…she could be the queen of England! I don’t give a fuck! She has no right to speak to me the way she just did…I’m sick of all the snide remarks and digs, the bumps of the shoulder as she passes me! I will not just sit by and let her talk to me like that!”

“I know, and I can’t expect you to.”

“she’s a bully! A damn bully Liam!!, god, I just…I can’t deal with her! I need to be alone right now…I need to think” Riley mumbled then removed her hand from Liam's and headed down to her room.

Once the door shut behind her, she let out a loud scream. She threw the vase from the chest of drawers next to her at the wall causing it to smash everywhere! She fell to her knees as her hands shot up to her face, she broke down.

It was that evening that she spoke to Liam again, when he turned up at her room door after everyone else had gone to bed. He sighed as she answered the door and he was met with bloodshot eyes. Riley stepped aside to let him in, he stopped dead in his tracks when he was met with two packed suitcases.

“where are you going?”

“anywhere but here” she mumbled

“Riley…please don’t go, ive spoken to madeleine, ive warned her”

“I can’t stay Liam…I just can’t” she sighed as shuffled around the room, refusing to stop and look at him.

“Riley please just stop, and talk to me”

“what do you want me to say Liam…there’s nothing else to say…my cards have been dealt and they don’t look good! I must go, I’m sorry but…it’s just the way it is” she sniffled as she wiped her nose.

“Riley, stop and look at me, please”

“I can’t! Liam! I can’t stop and look at you…because if I do…ill cave! I love you so god damn much that I have to leave you…I love you with everything in me, from the bottom of my heart Liam” she cried “but I can’t stay and sit on the side line!”

“Riley please…I’m begging you…don’t go” she cried even more as she heard the crack in his voice.

“Liam…I don’t want to leave you…but I have to…I have to go!” as Riley walked past him, he took her hand and pulled her to his chest, holding her as tight as he could.

“I don’t know what I would do if you left Riley…please don’t go, I need you here…you have been my rock through all of this Riley…” she turned her head to the side, to avoid looking at the tears falling down Liam's face.

“look at me Riley, I need you to stay.”

“I can’t” she cried as her hand lifted to her face

“please just look at me” Liam whispered, Riley turned to face him, as he rested his head against hers, the tears cascaded down their cheeks.

“I can’t do this without you…” he cried “please stay…don’t go…don’t leave me” he cried as he placed soft pecks on her lips.

“I’m sorry Liam, I love you, I love you so much”

“I love you Riley…more than you could ever know”

“I know…I love you too…so much”

There was a gentle knock at the door, then Bastian's voice was heard

“your Majesty, its getting late” Bastian informed them just loud enough for them to hear.

“I-I can’t walk out of this room Riley…I can’t leave here, not knowing if I’ll ever see you again”

“Liam…”

“promise me…promise me that you’ll at least come to the ball tomorrow night? one last time…I just need to see you one last time…”

“okay…”

“promise me…promise me you won’t go without saying goodbye…”

“I promise” she whispered. Liam pulled her into the most passionate love filled kiss the two had ever shared.

“I love you riley”

“I love you too” Liam quickly gave her a kiss before wiping his eyes and headed out of the room, looking back as he closed the door behind him.

“your Majesty is everything alright?”

“not in the slightest Bastian…not in the slightest.”

The next day when Riley awoke, she didn’t attend breakfast, she didn’t have much of an appetite knowing what the day ahead of her looked like.

Throughout the morning and early afternoon, Riley went over the whole room making sure she didn’t forget anything. It reached 4 o’clock when Riley sat down at her table, she pulled out a pen and paper from the drawer along with a small envelope.

My dearest Liam,

It is with a heavy heart that I write you this letter, I know you’re going to hate me for the this, but I couldn’t bare the thought of saying goodbye, I couldn’t stand in front of you and tell you, I don’t know when ill see you again, by the time you get this letter, ill already be gone. I’m sorry I had to be like this in the end. It kills me to leave you, it really does, I love with you with all my heart Liam, and I always will, you will always have the key to my heart no matter what happens, no matter where I am I will always be thinking about you. We may not be together in person Liam, but I spirit I will always be by your side as will you be by mine. Maybe, one day we’ll see each other again, so I won’t say goodbye…I’ll say see you later, I love you so much, never forget it, I know in my heart that you and I are meant for each other, even though we will be apart, your name will always rumble in the beating of my heart.

I love you, forever

All my Love

Riley <3

[tayegi]

im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all

[waitinginthedarke]

BIGBANG - MAFIA!AU - SERIES 3

A BIGBANG FANFICTION

Summary: The saying goes, ‘the mafia is family, the mafia is home’…but even if ‘the mafia is home’…is it really the right place to raise a child?

Masterlist (including series one and two)

Disclaimer: Mentions of (familial) physical abuse.

Chapter 7

20 years ago

‘When’s your curfew?’

‘I don’t know. I think my dad said 8.’ Seunghyun replies, shouting over his shoulder to his friend as the two of them speed down the country road on their bikes, grinning as the wind whips against his skin and he dodges the potholes in the cement.

‘Its already 8:15 now! Shouldn’t we head back?- He’ll shout at you again!’ his friend calls, tiny, cute, pre-teen face creased in concern, his voice growing more distant as Seunghyun speeds down the road that lead into town, his heart racing at the prospect of the city lights and the energetic locals.

‘Seunghyun! Come on! Your Dad scares me! I don’t want him to shout at me too! ...Seunghyun!!-‘

‘He wont shout at you, you scaredy-cat! Besides, we’ll go back in a little while! I just want to see-‘

‘SEUGNHYUN! YOUR FATHER WANTS TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW!’

He skids to a stop in his surprise at the sudden voice just behind him, his scrappy brakes almost causing him to go over the handlebars before he manages to pause and look over his shoulder at the guy who’d called to him out the window of the car that was pulling up alongside him.

‘Who says?’ Seunghyun retorts, knowing exactly where the demand had come from, but being frustrated that his plans had been forced to a stop so soon. He looks behind himself to see his friend having paused a little ways up the road, staring with wide, innocent, eyes at the car, but seeming to recognize it as something to do with Seunghyun’s dad as when he turns to look over at him, ending up simply shrugging apologetically, before turning his bike around and speeding back down the road toward home.

Baby.

‘Your father is running riot because you weren’t back on time, so I suggest you turn around and head back, young man…you know what happened last time.’ The guy in the car says, the expression he shoots Seunghyun pleading with him to just do as he was told so as not to suffer from his father’s hand again.

‘Fine.’ Seunghyun mutters, before angrily skidding his bike round in the opposite direction to town and beginning the dreary ride back, leaving his hopes of seeing the lights behind...

‘I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THE VILLAGE- TO BE BACK BY 8!- WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, BOY! I SWEAR BY ALL THAT IS HOLY-‘

Each hit with each word fell on a numb body, Seunghyun having learnt from a young age that even if he protested against the fist beating down on him, it would only lead to more beatings, and more pain afterwards.

‘YOU SELFISH BASTARD! WHY WONT YOU EVER LISTEN-‘

‘Sir?-‘

‘WHAT!?’

Seunghyun’s thankful for the break from the constant battering, glancing up from his place knelt on the floor to look at the man who had just walked in the door to pass some information onto his father, nodding subtly to him in thanks when he sees the quick glance the man makes in his direction and the apologies hidden in his eyes for Seunghyun’s father’s action.

‘Take him to his room and make sure he doesn’t leave. I’m not done with him yet, but he’s going to have to wait.’ His father suddenly mutters to the man after he’d received whatever information had been passed on, sneering at Seunghyun over his shoulder, before stalking past the man out of the room, his father’s absence allowing him the opportunity to sit up properly and stretch, hissing at the newly re-bruised muscles along his back.

‘Come on, son. The sooner you’re in your room, the sooner you can relax…before he comes back.’ The same guy who’d passed on the information states, smiling sadly down at Seunghyun and holding out his hand to help him to his feet.

As much as Seunghyun hated being pitied by his father’s men- especially when they did nothing when the man was actually hurting him- he still appreciated the false sense of security he felt when he was left with them, taking any piece of comfort they offered him and indulging himself in it whilst he could.

‘Thanks. …can you check if my friend got home okay?’ Seunghyun asks quietly as he proceeds to get guided through the house to his room, the regal décor making him scowl at the lost childhood spent being forced into a regime without fun and filled with his father’s anger, whilst he worries about the well-being of his friend. 

‘Sure thing, bud. I’ll send someone out.’ The guy murmurs, looking down at the young boy and settling his hand on his shoulder for comfort, the sad smile he sends toward him thankfully going unnoticed, as the man thinks back to the joyful smile he’d seen Seunghyun sporting as he’d ridden his bike freely before…

And the way he’d shouted happily to the empty road behind him…

Present Day 

SEUNGHYUN

He couldn’t move.

For the first time in almost 20 years, Seunghyun couldn’t speak…couldn’t move…could barely even think.

Was this some kind of sick joke?

‘Would I be able to have a moment with Seunghyun?’ the man in the doorway asks, the question that sounded so obtuse in Seunghyun’s mind immediately being rebutted by Kyungil, who stands from the seat at the side of the bed before he could even say anything himself.

‘Im not leaving him.’ Kyungil states, hand fisted at his side, and something about his confident challenging of the man who was assuming to be Seunghyun’s father has Seunghyun smiling behind the stone expression of blankness he was currently sporting.

‘I don’t believe that is your decision to make, young man. And when you address me it will be by-‘

‘He’s not leaving.’

Those three simple words had everyone turning to look at Seunghyun, the cold man before him staring him stoically in the eye for almost an entire half a minute, before Seunghyun averts his gaze to Kyungil and nods at him in thanks, signalling for the man to fall back slightly, standing closer to Seunghyun in the process.

‘Seunghyun, im sure you’re confused by the situation-‘

‘That’s an understatement.-’

‘-Will you let me finish?’

The coldness to the man’s tone, as icy as ever it had been, has Seunghyun glaring at him momentarily before nodding for him to go on, Seunghyun perching on the edge of the bed in a faux-calm façade as he listens to the bullshit that he knew was going to leave the man’s mouth, his memories of the time before making him biased in his dislike for the man.

‘Im sure you’re confused about the situation…but I haven’t brought you here to demand anything of you... or to try and convince you to join my mafia over the one you’re currently in- however, abysmal it may be-‘

‘I think you should watch your tongue when you’re speaking about my family.’ Seunghyun cuts in icily, continuing to stare at the floor as he speaks, and glancing up at his ‘father’ momentarily to make it clear he was serious, before he watches him straighten up, clearly affronted by the term he’d used.

‘How ironic.’ is all he murmurs as he smirks unamusedly, before going on.

‘I’ve brought you here because I think we need to settle some things. I’ve been able to watch you grow from afar over the years- after you decided to leave-...but its only been made clear to me recently just how much I’ve missed out on by not having contact with my own son-’

Seunghyun’s snort cuts off the man’s explanation, the sound signalling his boredom over the subject of family ties, and its as Seunghyun stands, deciding he’d had enough of listening to pretend excuses to attempt to recruit him, that he finally speaks.

‘It’s a bit late for family reunions don’t you think? You seem to be under the impression that you and I have some family history…but im afraid you’re greatly mistaken; I never had parents, and the only family I have are more than likely waiting for me to return right now. So, im afraid whatever offer you’re about to make, I’ll be declining. …If you’ll excuse me-‘

‘Seunghyun, sit down.’

The command has Seunghyun’s bones rattling and his blood running like ice through his veins, the way it sounded exactly the same as all those years ago having his senses sharpening to a point as he awaits the attack…

…but it never comes.

And that was the most terrifying thing for Seunghyun.

‘No.’ he says simply back, keeping a careful lock down on his expression as he silently challenges the other man, and not taking his eyes off of him as he subconsciously reaches back to grab Kyungil’s arm, making to pull him from the room as the need for escape begins to burn through his veins.

He makes it past his father and half way down the corridor, before the words the man calls after him, has him stopping in his tracks.

‘I don’t suppose you’ve spoken to the boy recently, Seunghyun?’

THE MANSION

‘Hyung, will you just calm down for one minute?-‘

‘Shut up, Seungri. I’ve not got time for your rambling right now-‘ Jiyong hisses behind you as you hold your phone your ear where you were stood quietly in the corner by the window, all 3 of you having moved to the office with the revelation of what had happened to Seunghyun.

‘I’ve driven about a mile back, but Minhyuk has his sights on the building they took him into beside me, we’re watching from the rooftop of-‘

‘But what about the trainees, they’re expecting-‘

‘Does it look like I give a shit about the trainees, Seungri? What importance do they hold over the longest serving member of this gang? Huh? Exactly! Now shut-‘

‘-the law firm. Jiho is only partially aware of the situation, but after I told him it was by request of you, he’s become more interested- he’s on his way up to speak to me now-‘

‘Dont tell him anything…not yet.’ You cut Mark off quickly without a thought, instinctively glancing up to see what Jiyong was doing as you realize the room had dropped into silence and feeling your blood run cold when you see him having turned to look at you, his expression guarded as he realizes something was going on that he didn’t know about.

‘I’ll be there in 20.’ You murmur before hanging up, sheepishly looking down at your phone as you go to slip it into your pocket, and feeling your heart begin to race as you tap in to how tense the room had become.

‘What was that about...?’

Why did he have to sound so angry already?

‘It was just Mark.’ You state, steeling yourself as you straighten up and lift your head to look at your lover, matching his gaze and feeling like everything would be okay…until he lifts one eyebrow and begins to make his way over to you, shoulders rolling like a panther.

As much as you weren’t scared of Jiyong, you never enjoyed it when he became so tensely focused on you.

‘Can I ask what he wanted? You sounded pretty tense at the end there-’

‘He told me where Seunghyun has been taken.’

The way his eyes flash at your blunt statement has you both watching each other carefully, his muscle jumping in his cheek revealing one of two things; 

he was very seriously contemplating how to react...

...and his anger levels were through the roof.

‘We need to go, NOW.’ He states eerily calmly, holding your gaze for only a few more seconds, before turning and marching to his desk where he opens his side drawer sharply and pulls out a handgun, checking its loaded, before slipping it into his waistband at his back and grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair.

‘Are you two just going to stand around all day?’ he asks, not even bothering to look up at you and Seungri, and your own anger beginning to build within you at his passivity of the situation has you stalking to the door without another word, beginning to walk down the corridor without waiting for them, and only hearing the sound of their footsteps following after you as you head for the stairs.

‘Hey, Y/N, what-‘ Youngbae goes to ask when he suddenly emerges from the kitchen corridor to see you stalking across the main reception area, cutting off into silence when he presumably catches sight of Jiyong behind you, and his footsteps join the procession out the door without a question. For a moment you hear Jiyong muttering something into his phone as you stalk toward the car and unlock it, but almost instantaneously its explained by Daesung jogging over from the prison barn, expression appearing serious before you turn to open the driver’s side door.

‘Uh, Y/N, do you want me to-‘ Youngbae goes to ask, gesturing toward the steering wheel as he tries to ask if you wanted him to drive, but he’s cut short by Jiyong who just nods his head at his friend to gesture for him to get in the back, before slipping into the passenger seat as you see Seungri pull his motorbike out from the shed across the yard.

Its silent as you shut the door and slip on your seatbelt, only glancing at Jiyong once but still not being able to meet his eyes before you’re turning to start the engine, and just as quickly you’re pulling out of the parking lot as gravel spits from your tyres with the acceleration, Seungri speeding off ahead of you.

‘How long has he known?’ Jiyong asks suddenly into the quiet of the car, his voice still guarded and filled with tension, but something about the way he words the question reveals a slightly softer edge than before, and you feel some of your anger leave you in response as your grip loosens the tiniest fraction in its vice like grip on the steering wheel.

‘I called him the day after we found out he’d disappeared.’ You murmur, overtaking a car on the road and swerving to quickly re situate yourself in the lane, seeing Jiyong’s hand clench on his thigh where he’d been surprised and feeling lighter with his obvious protectiveness.

‘Did he know about the fight this evening?’ he asks, flexing his fingers on his leg and struggling to maintain the unaffected façade he was holding up as he carefully tracked your route, giving away how frustrated and impatient he was about the situation with the way he turns his head to look at you, prompting an answer.

‘Yes. He said the same think Seungri did; Kyungil was on a suicide mission-‘

‘I swear to GOD, when I get my hands on this brat I will kill him.’ Jiyong cuts you off, and it takes you a moment to realize he’s on about Kyungil and not Mark, the deadly tone to his voice making you swallow thickly with nerves as you push your foot down on the accelerator.

‘Pull over.’ He mutters a moment later, his no-nonesense tone having you following his orders without question, not wanting to provoke him in this mood and wanting a chance to try and calm him, despite the rush you were in.

The second you pull up the handbrake and jump out of the car, you jog to switch with him, the two of you meeting near the trunk as you change seats, but the second you grab his arm to make him pause so that you could talk to him, you watch him spin on you dangerously, his presence towering over you where he was so full of rage at the danger his friend was in.

‘Ji, please just calm down- we don’t know whats going on yet-‘

‘EXACTLY Y/N.’ he hisses, hand grabbing your own wrist and causing your heart to thunder with adrenaline as you try not to pull against the death grip he had on you, knowing it would only make him more upset when he realized how he was treating you because of his anger.

‘We don’t know whats going on, and im terrified that this time we wont get Seunghyun back. I don’t know what or who he’s been lured in by- any number of things could be happening to him right now-... and all I can think, is that I’ve been SO pre-occupied with wanting a kid, with wanting you to be happy, and not wanting to push you into anything, despite how much I fucking want this,...that I haven’t given a single shit about how Seunghyun has been feeling- how he’s probably felt so unwanted by me that I pushed him to leave in the first place! AND NOW, now he’s with this bastard, whom would be the last person I’d ever trust, I-‘

The last words are spat at the sky, the hopelessly desperate rage that he shouts them with causing your heart to cry out and the tears that had built in your eyes to spill over, your hand fisted at your side weakening in the protest that had been building up within you, and so all you can do is watch him as he releases your arm and slams his fist on the back of the car, bracing himself there for a moment, before shaking his head and dragging himself up again, proceeding to head for the front seat; concluding that the conversation was over.

But for you, that was far from the case…you just didn’t want to argue right then.

‘Get in, we need to go-‘ he goes to say, glancing at a car as it passes, before snapping his head to look at you when you speak up.

‘I’m not coming with you.’ 

You lift your head to look over at him where he’d been just about to slide into the front seat, watching him laugh shortly and without humour, before glancing over at you.

‘Don’t do this now. Just get in the car.’ He states, his eyes daring you to refuse, but by the way his fingers tighten in their grip on the car door, he already knew that you’d made your decision.

‘Now isn’t the time to argue, Jiyong. …but we also cant be together right now.’ You say calmly, hating the way your chest was radiating with pain from the prospect of separating from him, but refusing the aching advances on your heart as you continue to watch him steadily, seeing his face drop of its Boss facade momentarily as he realizes you were serious and his fear of being without you takes over.

‘Go and save him... I’ll be right behind you. Don’t worry-‘

‘Y/N, just get in-‘

‘Go…Jiyong. Save him… I’ll be right behind you.’ You cut him off, smiling gently at him to reassure him that it was alright and seeing the conflict waver in his eyes; trying to decide if he should stay to convince you, or just do as you say and leave, but the second Jihoon rides up on the motorbike- having been sent by Mark to help with directions, parking up beside you and removing his helmet to see what was going on- Jiyong simply nods, taking a moment to look at you with longing in his eyes, before disappearing into the car with a scowl and you watch as your family speeds away without you.

‘What happened?’ Jihoon asks, looking confusedly over at you where you stood watching the car disappear around the curve in the road, before you turn to look at him, dragging in a deep breath and stalking over to swing your leg over the bike. You climb on behind him and accept the helmet he passes you without a word, Jihoon opting himself to go without to make sure you were safe- before he starts the engine once more and you finally answer him.

‘I just sorted my priorities out.’ You say, more to yourself than to him, before tapping him on the shoulder and pointing in the direction that lead back to the Mansion.

‘Step on it.’

(T.B.C)

[evanstanimagines]

Marvel Maniac

Imagine meeting Sebastian Stan on a night out and hiding your inner fangirl from him until he catches you in an amusingly compromising position

What is a fangirl? You. You were most definitely a fangirl especially for Marvel. You weren’t ashamed but it wasn’t exactly something you shouted from the rooftops, all of your closest friends knew a few work colleagues but that was it.

You had a good collection of fan art, T-shirts with shields and fake metal arms, mugs cups underwear action figures even a cute little cap shield tattoo on your right hip. All in all a pretty good collection of memorabilia. You’d watched all the movies and tv series and fangirled over casting choices more times than you could count. You’d never had the chance to go comic con as much as you’d tried but it just never happened although you’d watched all the panels on YouTube. You would have given your left arm for a chance to meet anyone from Marvel at this point you didn’t even care who it was. Okay maybe thats a lie you knew exactly who you’d meet if you could Sebastian Stan or Chris Evans either was good both was preferable.

So when you were out for a girls night in New York with your friends you didn’t expect to act quite as calm as you did when you found yourself immersed in conversation with none other than Mr Stan himself. It could have been the 6 cocktails that kept your demeanor as cool as it was, it could have been the fact that you didn’t want to ruin whatever was happening and if you freaked out on the outside like you absolutely were on the inside you would for sure terrify the poor man and send him running for the hills so you were calm, calm enough to cause concern amongst your friends who couldn’t understand why you hadn’t had a total mental marvel outburst.

And there you were a good 45 minutes into hanging out with Sebastian Stan and his friends still internally freaking out still externally lying to his fucking face.

“ so what do you do then (Y/N)? ” he asked

what you mean besides stalk your instagram and ogle pictures of you on google? No don’t say that (Y/N)

“ My family owns a toystore so I help them run it ”

“ you help them run it or you just play with the toys all day long? ” he asked giving you a sarcastically quizzical look

“ hey someone has to make sure they’re working properly. Good job i don’t mind getting my hands dirty ” you bit back a smile as you replied

“ do you sell comic book toys ” he quizzed

“ we do, although i can’t say i’ve ever played with Captain America or the Winter Soldier ” You lied

He almost choked on his drink “ now i know you’re a fan and hey the nights still young ” he winked smirking at you

“ wow ” you laughed

The rest of the night went on like that easy conversation and laughter. He asked you for your number as you were leaving and it was your turn to choke on your drink. It was so surreal the whole night you’d stayed cool, well until you got outside the club and finally set your inner fangirl free. Jumping up and down round and round screaming and laughing maniacally. Your friends watched as you danced around doubled over with laughter nodding at you when you asked if it was real, did that just happen, did you really just spend 3 hours talking and dancing with Sebastian freaking Stan. Did you in real life just swap numbers with him.

“oh my god (Y/F/N) please tell me i did not just make that up, that happened right like that really just fucking happened?”

“yes (Y/N), yes it just happened. Quick question though whatcha gonna do when he finds out how much of a marvel freak you really are?” she questioned

“SHIT!! I have no idea” frantically trying to figure out how this was gonna go down “its fine girls i kept that calm in there maybe i dont have to show him” yup you didnt believe yourself either. Oh well you’d just have to work really hard to play it cool he didn’t need to know you went to bed wearing pyjamas with his face on them besides you probably would never see him again right?

Wrong!

It had been 3 weeks since you met him and you’d gone on a total of 5 dates it was going well, really well actually you’d admitted you were a fan, downplayed it ofcourse sure you told him you’d seen a few of his movies but only once. You conveniently didn’t reveal that you may aswell have known all the words to every Cap film and had seen them WAY over 50 times you also still hadn’t admitted to the pyjamas or the fact that you drank your coffee from a mug shaped like Captain Americas head. See it was going well. For now!

It was the day of what was going to be your 6th date and you weren’t feeling too good so you’d agreed to rearrange when you were feeling better. You’d settled on the sofa wearing your avengers onesie, Caps head full of hot cocoa and Civil War on T.V. Perfect. Your roomates had decided to abandon you and go out drinking half way through the movie not being able to stand to watch it AGAIN. It was coming up to your favourite scene the one where Cap finds Bucky in Bucharest and you sat crossed legged goofy grin whispering the lines when you were startled by someone clearly trying and failing to hold back laughter. You jumped up out of your blankie revealing your very unflattering onesie

“OH MY GOD Sebastian, you scared the shit out of me what are you doing here, how did you even get in??” you quizzed

“did i just catch you reciting lines from one of my scenes (Y/N)?” he quizzed obviously amused “ and are you wearing Avengers pjs?”

“ n-no , i wasn’t i don’t know what you saw but this is the f-first time i’ve seen t-this movie” it was bad, he caught you thats it he knows you’re crazy “ I I mean well maybe not the first time but”

“ Is that Evans’ head?” he was laughing now, not just giggling laughing full on losing breath belly laughing “ i thought you said you’d only seen a few of my movies? you said you weren’t really a fan of the MCU”

“ Is there any point in me even trying to hide my crazy now? ” you asked feigning exasperation

He shook his head gaining composure. Once he’d stopped laughing at you that was   “oh sweety no, your crazy is definitely showing. ”

You let out a sigh before slumping back down on the sofa and fiddling with the buttons of your onesie “ I’m not totally insane i just kinda like Marvel”

“Kinda?” he asked raising his eyebrow at you

“not kinda, i really like it okay, happy?”

“i think its kinda cute that you tried to hide it from me, although i don’t understand why” he said more sincere now

“Seriously? If i’d have told you about my Winter Soldier underwear collection the night we met you would definitely not have asked for my number”

“ No you’re right, I’d have asked you to show me the collection instead ” he chuckled taking a seat next to on the sofa and grabbing the remote rewinding the movie and stealing a sip of your cocoa

“ what are you doing?”

“well when you said you were sick I came over to take care of you, your friends let me in on their way out.so if watching my own movie and drinking from a cup with my friends face on it helps make you feel better then I guess I’m gonna do just that” he smiled at you before placing a soft kiss to your forehead and snuggling you against his chest

“oh” was all you could reply with the biggest smile on your face as you settled against him to finish the movie.

[jungblue]

As much as i want oc and jungkook to be together i want jungkook to suffer abit ! Like firstly i know he was hurt to because of everything but HE CHOOSE to leave, HE CHOOSE not to call her, HE CHOOSE to sleep around to "forget about her" such a guy thing to do !! And i would love it if someone like jhope to shove it in JK face like the OC didn't sleep with anyone until just a few months later !! HOW BADLY I WANT TO SHOVE THAT TRUTH IN HIS FACE !! Urghhh but i love my bunny 😂😩😭

yeahahhh well i don’t necessarily agree. that’s why i included his perspective in pt5 bc i wanted you guys to get that he was not and still is not happy. he wasn’t being an asshole imo bc they weren’t together. of course the oc is allowed to be upset, but he didn’t do anything that i think warrants him needing to suffer. but the oc and jk will definitely talk about her experience over the past year and a half in pt7 which is really going to take a toll on both of them

Anonymous said: What is the secret jungkook is keeping?!?!?!?!??!?!?! IF IT SO MUCH AS HURTS OC I WILL SLAP HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE WITH A CHAIR !!!!!!!!!!!! Boy dont play with an emotional damage girl 🔥🔥

well they’re both emotionally damaged really, but we’ll see how it plays out!

Anonymous said: FH does things to my heart ;n; I thought about this maybe a lot more than I should BUTTT, I think I’m all for JK, mane. If the circumstances were different and JK had stopped caring for y/n, then I would be for Jimin, but it’s the fact that I don’t think y/n and JK can get over what they have…Like, I don’t see her being with Jimin if she and JK both still love each other, also knowing that they never stopped. I have suspicions on the secret, but idk, I may be waaaay off. 😅

it’s okay that you prefer jungkook over jimin! everyone has their reasoning. we’ll just have to see how everything plays out! and i’m glad that people are really thinking about what jk’s secret could be! i love hearing themm

Anonymous said: I really don’t know how some people are waiting for FH to finish properly and then read it. I admire their self control honestly. I don’t mean this in a bad way, but they’ll properly be waiting for a while before FH finishes. One of my friend is like that but with anime, she waits for the whole season to finish so she can watch it all at once. I found doing that hard, like it’s so hard to avoid any spoilers and the temptation is too much for me.

yeah i can’t even really estimate when i think fh will be done. but it’s okay if waiting is what people are into! ooooo i’m kind’ve the same way with anime. sometimes i have to wait and binge, and others i can do weekly!

Anonymous said: aahhh!! i’m really scared about what Jungkook is hiding in FH and i don’t know if i’m the only one who wants Jungkook and the o/c to end up together again, because i’ve been reading the asks you’ve anwsered and a lot people want jimin and the o/c to end up together. i just think that jungkook and o/c were so cute and belong together and give me sm feels idk… :D i also really want to start reading/watching nana now

you’re definitely not the only one who wants the oc to be w jungkook! i’d say it’s pretty 50/50! and yeah you totally should watch nana! it’s one of my favorite shows in general (not just counting anime)

Anonymous said: I JUST BINGED ALL 6 PARTS OF FH LAST NIGHT FROM LIKE 12AM- 3AM AND I HAVE NO REGRETS. You seriously have an amazing talent for writing and storytelling. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us!

awww thank you, this was so sweet! and ahhh yeah trust me i know that pain when it comes to my fav series :”))

Anonymous said: Hold on since I’ve been with nana since forever remember nana (rock nana) her bestfriend ended up confessing but not really she was like “you’re in love with me aren’t you?” and he just look at her like “yeah”. Will that happen with hoseok in FH?

ahaaaa no that won’t happen. other things are planned for hoseok!

Anonymous said: The sad part about a love triangle is that there will always be one person that gets hurts the most… - Speaking from the one who always gets left behind

The one that LOVES the most gets HURTS the most .. 😣😞😔

we’ll just have to wait and see how it plays out, but there’ll definitely be lots of sadness and angst :”)

Anonymous said: MAYBE JUNGKOOK IS SICK IN FUTURE HEARTS

it’s a possibility!

Anonymous said: Will someone die in FH?

i cannot confirm or deny ;;

Anonymous said: jimin is such a good guy on fh i love him so much that i hate him. my heart is aching uaaah i’m swaying between train jk and train jm. my god this should’ve been an easy pick if only jungkook didn’t show up. tHen we all find out he actually still love y/n all along damn that ass i’m torn with feels

ahaaa i’m sorry, but i just really wanted to make a conflicting love triangle :”)

Anonymous said: i’m glad ur blog can be viewed properly now hehe and also when will update fh? the thirst is real dude haha but don’t worry i ain’t pressuring u, take ur time.

ahaa yeah sorry that it was switched off before! but i’m not sure when it’ll be updated~

Anonymous said: Are we going to find out what tattoos Jungkook has and the meaning behind them ? Cause you know in Part 1 Kook did say “Stick around with me long enough to and maybe I’ll tell you.” ;)

yes, in future chapters!

[leanstooneside]

ORIGINAL PRANKSTA

lamp because he must have come 3 or 4 times with that tremendous big red brute of a thing he has I thought the vein or whatever the dickens they call it was going to burst though his nose is not so big after I

series even if the first term of a succeeding one each imagining himself to be first last only and alone whereas he is neither first nor last nor only nor alone in a series

it wasnt washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me nice invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if someone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went through with Milly nobody would believe cutting her teeth too and Mina Purefoys husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up with a child or twins once a year as regular as the clock always with a smell of children off her the one they called budgers or something like a nigger with a shock of hair on it Jesusjack the child is a black the last time

listener's and the narrator's

me his name who tell me who the german Emperor is it

mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it

Id have to dring it into him for a month yes and then wed have a hospital nurse next thing on the carpet have him staying there till they throw him out or a nun maybe like the smutty photo he has shes as much a nun as Im not yes because theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick they want a woman to get well if his nose bleeds youd think it was O tragic and that dyinglooking one off the south circular when he sprained his foot at the choir party at the sugarloaf Mountain the day I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones she could find at the bottom of the basket anything at all to get into a mans bedroom with her old maids voice trying to imagine he was dying on account of her to never see thy face again though he looked more like a man with his beard a bit grown in the bed father was the same besides I hate bandaging and dosing when he cut his toe with the razor paring his corns afraid hed get bloodpoisoning but if it was a thing I was sick then wed see what attention only of course the woman hides it not to give all the trouble they do yes he came somewhere Im sure by his appetite anyway love its not or hed be off his feed thinking of her so either it was one of those night women if it was down there he was really and the hotel story he made up a pack of lies to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who did I meet ah yes I met do you remember Menton and who else who let me see that big babbyface I saw him and he not long married flirting with a young girl at Pooles Myriorama and turned my back on him when he slinked out looking quite conscious what harm but he had the impudence to make up to me one time well done to him mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all the big stupoes I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate having a long wrangle in bed or else if its not that its some little bitch or other he got in with somewhere or picked up on the sly if they only knew him as well as I do yes because the day before yesterday he was scribbling something a letter when I came into the front room to show him Dignams death in the paper as if something told me and he covered it up with the blottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very probably that was it to somebody who thinks she has a softy in him because all men get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to forty he is now

I was there a squad of them falling over one another and bawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be healthy not satisfied till they have us swollen out like elephants or I dont know what supposing I risked having another not off him though still if he was married Im sure hed have a fine strong child but I dont know Poldy has more spunk in him yes thatd be awfully jolly I suppose it was meeting Josie Powell and the funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set him off well he can think what he likes now if thatll do him any good I know they were spooning a bit when I came on the scene he was dancing and sitting out with her the night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then he wanted to ram it down my neck it was on account of not liking to see her a wallflower that was why we had the standup row over politics he began it not me when he said about Our Lord being a carpenter at last he made me cry of course a woman is so sensitive about everything

shape of my bedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of me when I saw him slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the subject of drawers thats plain to be seen always skeezing at those brazenfaced things on the bicycles with their skirts blowing up to their navels even when Milly and I were out with him at the open air fete that one in the cream muslin standing right against the sun so he could see every atom she had on when he saw me from behind following in the rain I saw him before he saw me however standing at the corner of the Harolds cross road with a new raincoat on him with the muffler in the Zingari colours to show off his complexion and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual what was he doing there where hed no business they can go and get whatever they like from anything at all with a skirt on it and were not to ask any questions but they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel him coming along skulking after me his eyes on my neck he had been keeping away from the house he felt it was getting too warm for him so I halfturned and stopped then he pestered me to say yes till I took off my glove slowly watching him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for the rain anything for an excuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers the whole blessed time till I promised to give him the pair off my doll to carry about in his waistcoat pocket O Maria Santisima he did look a big fool dreeping in the rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry to look at them and beseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on with the sunray pleats that there was nobody he said hed kneel down in the wet if I didnt so persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat you never know what freak theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for it if anyone was passing so I lifted them a bit and touched his trousers outside the way I used to Gardner after with my ring hand to keep him from doing worse where it was too public I was dying to find out was he circumcised he was shaking like a jelly all over they want to do everything too quick take all the pleasure out of it and father waiting all the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my purse in the butchers and had to go back for it what a Deceiver then he wrote me that letter with all those words in it how could he have the face to any woman after his company manners making it so awkward after when we met asking me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw I wasnt he had a few brains not like that other fool Henny Doyle he was always breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man and if I knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake dont understand you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course it

it was all his fault of course ruining servants then proposing that she could eat at our table on Christmas day if you please O no thank you not in my house stealing my potatoes and the oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt if you please common robbery so it was but I was sure he had something on with that one it takes me to find out a thing like that he said you have no proof it was her proof O yes her aunt was very fond of oysters but I told her what I thought of her suggesting me to go out to be alone with her I wouldnt lower myself to spy on them the garters I found in her room the Friday she was out that was enough for me a little bit too much her face swelled up on her with temper when I gave her her weeks notice I saw to that better do without them altogether do out the rooms myself quicker only for the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt I gave it to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house I couldnt even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that one denying it up to my face and singing about the place in the W C too because she knew she was too well off yes because he couldnt possibly do without it that long so he must do it somewhere and the last time he came on my bottom when was it the night Boylan gave my hand a great squeeze going along by the Tolka in my hand there steals another I just pressed the back of his like that with my thumb to squeeze back singing the young May moon shes beaming love because he has an idea about him and me hes not such a fool he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety though Im not going to give him the satisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to be always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some nicelooking boy to do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like me Id confuse him a little alone with him if we were Id let him see my garters the new ones and make him turn red looking at him seduce him I know what boys feel with that down on their cheek doing that frigging drawing out the thing by the hour question and answer would you do this that and the other with the coalman yes with a bishop yes I would because I told him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me in the jews temples gardens when I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger to Dublin what place was it and so on about the monuments and he tired me out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he is who is in your

money she can out of him no fool like an old fool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not that I care two straws now who he does it with or knew before that way though Id like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under my nose all the time like that slut that Mary we had in Ontario terrace padding out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to get the smell of those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion by getting him to come near me when I found the long hair on his coat without that one when I went into the kitchen pretending he was drinking water 1 woman is not enough for them

he never did a thing like that before as ask to get his breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the City Arms hotel when he used to be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing his highness to make himself interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthing all for masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay out 4d for her methylated spirit telling me all her ailments she had too much old chat in her about politics and earthquakes and the end of the world let us have a bit of fun first God help the world if all the women were her sort down on bathingsuits and lownecks of course nobody wanted her to wear them I suppose she was pious because no man would look at her twice I hope Ill never be like her a wonder she didnt want us to cover our faces but she was a welleducated woman certainly and her gabby talk about Mr Riordan here and Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to get shut of her and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to get up under my petticoats especially then still I like that in him polite to old women like that and waiters and beggars too hes not proud out of nothing but not always if ever he got anything really serious the matter with him its much better for them to go into a hospital where everything is clean but I

I only had a ring with the stone for my month a nice aquamarine Ill stick him for one and a gold bracelet I dont like my foot so much still I made him spend once with my foot the night after Goodwins botchup of a concert so cold and windy it was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire wasnt black out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the hearthrug in Lombard street west and another time it was my muddy boots hed like me to walk in all the horses dung I could find but of course hes not natural like the rest of the world that I what did he say I could give 9 points in 10 to Katty Lanner and beat her what does that mean I asked him I forget what he said because the stoppress edition just passed and the man with the curly hair in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his face before somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I took my time Bartell dArcy too that he used to make fun of when he commenced kissing me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounods Ave Maria what are we waiting for O my heart kiss me straight on the brow and part which is my

my things with the blinds down after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like iron or some kind of a thick crowbar standing all the time he must have eaten oysters I think a few dozen he was in great singing voice no I never in all my life felt anyone had one the size of that to make you feel full up he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that with a big hole in the middle of us or like a Stallion driving it up into you because thats all they want out of you with that determined vicious look in his eye I had to halfshut my eyes still he hasnt such a tremendous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull out and do it on me considering how big it is so much the better in case

me or dreaming am I in it who gave him that flower he said he bought he smelt of some kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps the sweety kind of paste they stick their bills up with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking green and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the opera hats I tasted once with my finger dipped out of that American that had the squirrel talking stamps with father he had all he could do to keep himself from falling asleep after the last time after we took the port and potted meat it had a fine salty taste yes because I felt lovely and tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment I popped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up God be merciful to us I thought the heavens were coming down about us to punish us when I blessed myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts in Gibraltar as if the world was coming to an end and then they come and tell you theres no God what could you do if it was running and rushing about nothing only make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the month of May see it brought its luck though hed scoff if he heard because he never goes to church mass or meeting he says your soul you have no soul inside only grey matter because he doesnt know what it is to have one yes when I

Im him think of him can you feel him trying to make a whore of me what he never will he ought to give it up now at this age of his life simply ruination for any woman and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it till he comes and then finish it off myself anyway and it makes your lips pale anyhow its done now once and for all with all the talk of the world about it people make its only the first time after that its just the ordinary do it and think no more about it why cant you kiss a man without going and marrying him first you sometimes love to wildly when you feel that way so nice all over you you cant help yourself I wish some man or other would take me sometime when hes there and kiss me in his arms theres nothing like a kiss long and hot down to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that confession when I used to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and what harm if he did where and I said on the canal bank like a fool but whereabouts on your person my child on the leg behind high up was it yes rather high up was it where you sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say bottom right out and have done with it what has that got to do with it and did you whatever way he put it I forget no father and I always think of the real father what did he want to know for when I already confessed it to God he had a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he Id say by the bullneck in his horsecollar I wonder did he know me in the box I could see his face he couldnt see mine of course hed never turn or let on still his eyes were red when his father died theyre lost for a woman of course must be terrible when a man cries let alone them Id like to be embraced by one in his vestments and the smell of incense off him like the pope besides theres no danger with a priest if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something to H H the pope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing I didnt like his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the hall though I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking of his fathers I wonder is he

himself to be the first to enter whereas he is always the last term

theyre all so different Boylan talking about the shape of my foot he noticed at once even before he was introduced when I was in the D B C with Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we both ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw him looking with his two old maids of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what do I care with it dropping out of me and that black closed breeches he made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down wetting all myself always with some brandnew fad every other week such a long one I did I forgot my suede gloves on the seat behind that I never got after some robber of a woman and he wanted me to put it in the Irish times lost in the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom and I saw his eyes on my feet going out through the turning door he was looking when I looked back and I went there for tea 2 days after in the hope but he wasnt now how did that excite him because I was crossing them when we were in the other room first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk in my hand is nice like

part he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my low notes he was always raving about if you can believe him I liked the way he used his mouth singing then he said wasnt it terrible to do that there in a place like that I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill tell him about that some day not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him there and show him the very place too we did it so now there you are like it or lump it he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea about my mother till we were engaged otherwise hed never have got me so cheap as he did he was lo times worse himself anyhow begging me to give him a tiny bit cut off my drawers that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I had to take it off asking me questions is it

I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for I knew he was gone on me and the first socialist he said He was he annoyed me so much I couldnt put him into a temper still he knows a lot of mixedup things especially about the body and the inside I often wanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that family physician I could always hear his voice talking when the room was crowded and watch him after that I pretended I had a coolness on with her over him because he used to be a bit on the jealous side whenever he asked who are you going to and I said over to Floey and he made me the present of Byron's poems and the three pairs of gloves so that finished that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time I know how Id even supposing he got in with her again and was going out to see her somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I know plenty of ways ask him to tuck down the collar of my blouse or touch him with my veil and gloves on going out I kiss then would send them all spinning however alright well see then let him go to her she of course would only be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love with him that I wouldnt so much mind Id just go to her and ask her do you love him and look her square in the eyes she couldnt fool me but he might imagine he was and make a declaration to her with his plabbery kind of a manner like he did to me though I had the devils own job to get it out of him though I liked him for that it showed he could hold in and wasnt to be got for the asking he was on the pop of asking me too the night in the kitchen I was rolling the potato cake theres something I want to say to you only for I put him off letting on I was in a temper with my hands and arms full of pasty flour in any case I let out too much the night before talking of dreams so I didnt want to let him know more than was good for him she used to be always embracing me Josie whenever he was there meaning him of course glauming me over and when I said I washed up and down as far as possible asking me and did you wash possible the women are always egging on to that putting it on thick when hes there they know by his sly eye blinking a bit putting on the indifferent when they come out with something the kind he is what spoils him