#I CANT WRITE IM SORRY IT SOUNDS LIKE

[crossthread]

No jokes here. The Navy’s best pilot and the Navy’s best admiral. Between them, eight air-to-air combat kills and five stars. These were men who commanded respect with or without your approval. This was the picture of ruthless competence.

Debriefing (& Other Stories) • part 2 of Easier Done Than Said by @compacflt

[qoldenskies]

i say this with a lot of sorrow and grief in my heart but i might drop the idea of finishing and doing a cc epilogue, i genuinely have been holding it off for so long because i havent come up with enough substance for it to justify its own existence :( i do think cw is a pretty good conclusion on its own, but im still kind of upset with myself for being so uncreative with the fluff .... im really sorry

[larabar]

"so, that was fun"

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

my n1 guilty pleasure is thinkin that post m2 lauretta moved deeper into criminal after several years & ended up sentenced to jail somewhere in the middle of 1970s

[infernaltenor]

one more niki analysis.

for now.

ok this one technically i've had in mind for MONTHS but couldn't figure out how to word it until just now because i a) read hot limit about three months ago and it hasn't left my head since b) the idol exploration event.

anyway. the actual crux of this is: niki's character is specifically written to be content, not happy. these often get confused imo. the second part of this is his contentedness isn't natural, it's forced. the third part of this is no one fucking notices, except for one rinne amagi, because of course he does. by no one, i'm talking specifically character-wise here; niki in game tends to get written off as childish or otherwise doing well, and that comes directly from his other unit members.

side note: i'm fairly confident in my own reading of "niki will pretend to not be bothered by anything, ever" and this is bolstered by a few different things; a) the honeycomb summer lyrics in my last post where there's a part of the intro, "hidden the true feelings out of habit / and now you're regretting it" (rinne amagi you slick bastard) b) hot limit. like the entire story. mostly because he was being troubled by multiple different things throughout it (work, idol activities, and his family last name/father's scandal) and the only person who noticed was rinne, and that's probably because he knew the damn guy for five years c) also in hot limit, the exploration into niki seeing himself as a burden because of his illness. why did they add this into his character and then not elaborate further? i don't know. if it never gets elaboration, i'll implode. anyway, it's a part of his character that he usually doesn't show, but he references it as "not wanting to inconvenience the people around him" REGARDLESS of if the people in question don't mind him inconveniencing them (rinne). in general, the only thing he makes a fuss about is food, likely because of his metabolism and the fact that he does become more of a danger to people when extremely hungry (he has bitten hiiro before.); i.e. the inconvenience for everyone else is a 19-20yro trying to bite them, not complaining that he's hungry.

i digress.

niki has referenced himself as being content with certain things before. for instance, in hot limit, it's phrased distinctly as "just getting to eat every day is a bliss to me - i need to be satisfied with that", which comes up again in his letter from the idol exploration:

"it feels like happiness is there to fill my stomach, too!" oh, is it? is it niki? is it now?

basically, what i'm getting at is niki's expectations for life are so incredibly low, so he's satisfied with getting to eat every day. that's it. just satisfied. side note: this is why i went insane when survival was added to his profile; the way he lives/talks about living, he's been surviving more than living. this is also why i think rinne and niki work so well as a pair, rinne's into living and niki's busy surviving. though, to be fair, rinne and niki's relationship is built on this crux anyway. rinne intends (hopes, maybe? his goal?) is to help niki with what he has identified as a problem. thank you rinne amagi.

(for the record, right after i read this, my live reaction was "WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELF". that's quite dramatic, and i won't, but i figured someone might get a laugh out of that.)

this isn't the first time that rinne has referred to niki (well, more so implied) as "not happy", as it happens in hot limit, too.

"that's why i'll grant his wish and make him happy" oh ok i see.

anyway. niki's fascinating, because this forced contentedness vs happiness is so interesting to me, because beyond rinne's own read of niki, it's easily bought by everyone else he knows. most notably, kohaku and himeru, as their impressions come off of reading niki quite differently to rinne's:

(i grabbed these screenshots after i finished the event for the time being. rinne's i grabbed before LMAO)

both of them appreciate and even look up to niki in certain ways, and they both like his focus on food. but what's interesting is how both of them see him vastly different from rinne; where rinne focuses on his low self impression, himeru thinks niki's perspective of the world is interesting, as well as i think he gives credence to niki being selfless, which kohaku sees him as both childish and reckless. i'm pretty sure both himeru and kohaku see him as more naive than themselves, which is a fair read. this also does line up with what happens in hot limit; while rinne is aware of the troubles niki's going through, himeru and kohaku are both surprised at the end.

niki's own effort, i think, to convince himself of being satisfied and content pays off, because the only person who notices otherwise is rinne. which, imo, is a whole other source of depth to their relationship; rinne probably saw niki working that out. he was 14 when they met, and likely the shiina parents leaving was recent (side note: i'm a certified niki's parents hater. i know we don't have much info on them, but i don't trust them after that burden thing), which is something i've mostly extrapolated by the contact he seems to have at 14 vs at 19, where they're pretty much never mentioned. yes, i know, niki chose to stay in japan. i just don't think you get through your parents leaving you in your native country at 14 while they gallivant around the globe and your communication with them steadily dwindles results in anything good.

ok. i'm sorry for the parent hating.

but unless proven otherwise i'm expecting them to be the source of these problems.

[bedforddanes75]

fucking crying at swifties posting her lyrics and talking about "shes such a poet" "this clears _" and i read them and its like. "i killed your mother but shes always gonna be mom like bomb because youre bombs to my heart" or something Like please you arent helping yourselves

[berryblu-soda]

ninjago reincarnation AU where the world ended, and from it´s ashes rose another, similar yet eerly different, growing and changing from being little more than a rock in space, to a modern society much more like our own (show to movie setting :D!). with new old faces, flashes of a world long gone, a simple wish at the end (beggining?) of it all, etc etc...

[absurdumsid]

So is killer the rebel leader in you Alnst au?

sobs ok heres the list of switcheroos !! (featuring alnst characters because holy shit theyre so pretty)

ill try to draw smth up for it latererr but rn heres the list !!

also here's the alnst playlist for anyone interested in it because i desperately NEED more ppl to know abt this

Cross is Mizi !! insane. i just wanted to ship cream/xunshine, speaking of.

Dream is Sua !! because theyre both very pretty and they make me cry. a lot.

Fell is Till originally because their names sounded the same but then i realised theyre both pathetic, anyway crossfell ? dustard ? both are canon to me

Dust is Ivan !! i think ppl already know that thanks to dustverse ? ermm dont watch round 6 if u already like him

Nightmare is Luka !! holy shit ! this one was easy though because i wanted dream and nightmare to parallel heheeh

Killer IS indeed Hyuna !! love her sm shes the best it just kinda fit. also um. nightmare is luka so ummmm teehee

Horror is Dewey !! love these guys (dewey is the one with white hair !!!!) theyre my favs but theyre more like side characters lmao

and of course Saejun is Isaac !!!! (big scar !?!! i originally had then switched around ngl, then i realised horror should not be entrusted with any kind of vehicle <- horrid eyesight)

dewey and isaac get two screenshots because i love them IN FACT !!

YOU CAN HAVE TWO MORE !! (these are the only four scenes they have together. dewey only has like two more with hyuna.) I LOVE THEM SM !!!!

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

art by aversly/carrd

ME RN!!!!!!GGGGFGHFFHFGHHGGG!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S FINALLY DONEEEEEER IM SO 😭😭😭💧💧💧💧💧😭😭😭😭💧💧😭😭😭💧♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ LOOK AT HOW HE DREW THESE TWO WTF THEY'RE SO PRETTY BOTH OF THEM WTF WTF IM FLOOREDDDDDD I'm especially like. 🥺🥺🥺🥺‼️‼️‼️‼️ AT JAIDE SHES SO GORGEOUS LIKEEEE ‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥

[spacecluster]

I just love how in age of ultron

Marvel established

that they have these pods

that can heal people of serious injuries

And are capable of building an entire body out of nothing pretty much aside from like a sentient Rock

and that this pod

which is destroyed at some point in this movie

is a lower level version of something that Dr Helen Cho has in her facility in wherever she said it was cause it's been a while since I've watched this movie

and then they

to my knowledge

Never mentioned again

[supurman-a]

this is here i rp if you guys were wondering.

[bandtrees]

I apologize in advance for the shit im doing to milton r wallace in this google doc

[lautity]

I loveeeee your burnerphone content 🩷🩷🩷 anyway both of them for the ask thing

anon are you asking me about burnerphone drug use. are you giving me this. can i shake your hand

so they've tried like. everything. all of it. it's really been a process of elimination. in their younger teens they smoked a lot of weed. did a lot of whipits (nitrous oxide) (and left the chargers everywhere in the woods b/c theyre awful little 14 yr olds who litter) b/c they're relatively cheap and legal. they've done psychedelics, but because those are not really abusable drugs they hold less appeal, same with mdma. poor & diminishing returns trying to use any of those for true proper escaping from your day-to-day life.

lex favors opioids (mostly stolen oxycontin, which is not necessarily the best high. other opioids are more pleasant but she can almost never afford them + she's able to be slightly more productive on oxy vs others.) it offers relief from the constant stress. it smoothes her sharp edges & lets people (steph, mostly) get closer to her. it's nice to feel, like, happy? for once? big things for her that girl is miserable. but favorite drug and highest addiction potential are separate for her for the most part.

her daily stress and tiredness plus undiagnosed adhd mean she is so so susceptible to stimulant addiction, which is far more productive than opioids. probably starts with maybe stealing something that hadn't worked for hannah, or something pilfered or purchased from a classmate, adderall or vyvanse or whatever. clean stimulant for a one-time high at a party or before a test. she likes this. she remembers this. years later steph buys them both coke for someone's birthday and from there on out it becomes Sort Of Dire. need to pull a double shift to make rent? cocaine! need to stay up all night to study for this exam? cocaine! spent all night at work and need to spend the day with hannah, or running errands, or sitting through GED classes? you'll never guess. she takes prescription stims when she can, because she knows they're safer. but theyre also much harder to find.

but coke! also does get expensive, especially when steph finally gets cut off from her flow of cash & credit. and eventually lex is faced with the choice between rehab and pivoting to something cheaper to maintain her momentum (probably meth) (she really does not want to be doing meth. that is her Hard Line that is her danger zone she will not be pamela foster. she won't. she does not care how arbitrary of a line it is she just will not cross it)

so she ends up in rehab. at that point it has basically become a full blown coke addiction and is very much teetering on the edge of something worse... she does come out of it with an adhd diagnosis but probably is not medicated for at least a couple of years due to risk of abuse, and even when she is professionally medicated it's very touch-and-go to try not to fully throw herself back into stim use to deal with how exhausted she is. she probably ends up taking it off-label as-needed for like. the holiday season. whatever works.

steph does enjoy uppers like stims but for some people they just don't click as hard? and she wants to be laaaaazy not rushing not productive (that's fun at a party, maybe, but not at home on the couch). so for her it's benzos <3 depressants generally and a dash of dissociatives (robotripping as a younger teen with lex (who likes it a lot less) + maybe some ketamine, just for kicks). she takes what she can get (which is more often than not just flatly blacking out on alcohol and calling it a night) but when she has her way its xanax <3 its klonopin & valium & whatever other dubious pills she can get her hands on.

calms her down tempers her worrying it can fully stop her splitting spirals before they become huge messy affairs. it's really appealing to just Not be constantly worried about being abandoned, and it gives her a nice escape from the guilt around other reckless behavior and the way she causes stress to everyone who cares about her, including lex. benzos plus alcohol she can go on the craziest days-long benders and not remember a thing. which is sort of the goal for her i suppose. you start out at "i'll just do this to help me relax" and rapidly spiral into compulsive redosing until you are walking out with 4 days worth of amnesia under your belt and little else. but these are not necessarily less tolerable than the average multi-day breakdown, for steph, so it's often a decent trade. and of course by the time she's doing this reasoning she is just flat out addicted to them.

you might be asking (nobody is doing this) Would steph be an opioid addict if given the chance? probably. it is by all accounts a better high than benzos, and it would be difficult to keep her away, considering she is so reckless that she's effectively suicidal. lucky for her lex is selfish and doesn't share or sell opioids to steph when she has them. 'for her own good' in some senses but also because lex has a petty spiteful little thought that steph has literally Never known pain in her life and has not earned opioid use. the idea that lex is more worthy of it because she works harder and suffers more. and if steph is content with her benzos what's the harm... lex mostly does them on her own though sometimes steph will end up being around and lex gets all gross and cuddly and sappy talking about a future with her. yuck

steph simply does not know enough to ask about opioids she's so content in her little xanax bubble. until the withdrawls. and the withdrawls. and the.yeah. ad nauseum. benzo withdrawls are also very dangerous and the bender that puts her in rehab (the time that sticks at least)after her final breakup/fight with lex is probably a couple of weeks long and involves a lot of very sketchy pills. she remembers next to none of it and it almost killed her. which does actually scare her (she's never had something she felt was quite this near death despite probably having done worse) into not using benzos with nearly that frequency (she is able to kick them entirely for awhile but. she is prone to slipping especially when bpd audhd things are happening. oops!

[hiddenbeks]

oh also in other news. i finally finished leviathan the other day

[bedforddanes75]

is anybody free for at least a minute of me ranting about how that fucking "brat poem" is the worst piece of literature to grace planet earth Or

[cathalbravecog]

Tony Trapezoid Dama first digital design concept + reference !! They've been in the works for a while, it feels good to finally put that onto a digital drawing... Sorry about all the empty space on the canvas, RIP

This may be their ref for a while, but their design may still be a subject to change!! But for now, this is their design. (They still need to be drawn from their side and back view as it has some details you can't see from this angle.) (They also still need a suit name, but that doesn't worry me currently as they aren't even a C.O.G.S. INC. employee.)

Anyways, as you can gather from the image, they're the child of Belle! If someone has a grandchild, that means they have kids of their own, and Tony here is the OC for that! They're based on touch-tone telephones and radios... And also Touch Tone Telephone and other Neil Cicierega things. One thing you should know about me is that I love Lemon Demon references in my OCs,, (Has an OC universe based mainly on Lemon Demon)

They once were like every ordinary Suit, just with an interest for the unknown and telling stories - and letting others have their own stories be heard, giving others a voice. Their rather charming personality made them a great radio host! However, after the Toon invasion, they began hearing various conspiracies about them. Already having an interest in the supernatural, they began tying the Toons onto these various supernatural dangers and giving into their growing paranoia. Believing everything they've heard, (Which was a characteristic they've always had - believing almost any story told on their show), they only grew more isolated and their show devolved more into conspiracies of many kinds which turned off many listeners.

Seeing how much harm the Toons were causing to fellow Suits did not help either, in fact, it only strengthened their downfall. They grew more anxious over-all, and seemed more invested in their show and theories than going out. Despite all this, they still care about their family deeply and seem to do everything out of genuine concern and care. Though, they have seemed to stray away for the most part... Oh what would they do for the good ol' days...

Seeing that their mother and at least one of their children have joined C.O.G.S. INC. after, well... The whole Atticus incident - It shook them a little bit. Being so close to those Toons is DANGEROUS! However, as time went on... They took note of how well the two were doing. Even Collin seemed slightly more enthusiastic. Perhaps it's not as bad of an environment as they thought? Regardless, they keep an close eye in case of any tragedy they oh so dread.